Transcribe your podcast

Or three or four.


Choo choo choo choo Banten, yes, I'm going to covid still in a post covid brain fog and you are peeking.


So so you are now running this podcast because my brain is broken.


You like a shirt button.


Like how going to how am I going to know kantele. Like it's very frustrating. My mental state is mercurial at best. Spotty.


Would you call me Spotty. I wouldn't call him a carrier without a body like a dodig old lady.


Now I'm in and out. I've been so reluctant to record podcasts because I had covid after.


It's a it's a it's a mess. It's a, it's a psychological game. Neurological warfare, neurological warfare, kind of it's just you and your brain and your it's a haunted house. I feel like I'm going in a haunted house alone.


That's what it feels like every day. So how is it affect that?


So I'm a little slow. I have to I do have the covid fog. I heard people complaining about this and I didn't believe them. I thought they were exaggerating. Wait, and you just fix your math before we go any further.


But no, I can. Oh, I'm sure I'm wearing the mask around my neck is a visual medium as well. Sorry. Which I just look like it is the best.


I look like an uncircumcised dick all the time now because I just have a mask like around my neck and a turtleneck and. I cover uncircumcised dicks, they get a bad rap, I'm a big fan of uncircumcised dicks and you know that I didn't, but I will pretend like I did for the sake of those, of course, we talk about all the time.


It's helpful, you know, all the little things you can put in there, your knickknacks, keys, whatever, uncircumcised dicks I feel like in a pandemic probably are safe for the safest take.


You can ah they can get down on you because they're always more lemann's. There's no comfort in their. Maybe a little gouda, but no covid. Oh, so I definitely feel like I was clowning on people who had covid drama, you know, like you're never that you're not the same afterwards, like you can't remember where you are.


Your memory goes.


I was like, oh, that's all Hollywood people that you're like you went on a retreat. We get it. Yeah. They were like, oh, the sun doesn't set the same. I said no different. I thought people were being dramatic, but I don't know if it's because I had the blood type A because I'm a negative chocker.


I'm a negative, a negative. I'm not a corny doctor joke. That's my personality type a negative.


But yeah, like I'm the way I talk, like it's slower and I'm definitely a covid case basket case.


Well trying to podcast through it. I mean it did affect you pretty hard. How that's true. It did.


Why I didn't see you for three weeks as I know it affected you hard because I was quarantined very safely in my little nook and you were gone.


You were not there. I would get phone calls from the lover and I would get, you know, some hot tips. How can you can you help me out on getting her how to do this or how can we get her, you know, from one room to another?


My lover stayed with me all through covid did not get it somehow. I mean, we were not fornicating, I don't think, for money.


And well, if you were there some, we had some. We have a different type of situation. We are getting back to square one on that.


Can you imagine what an interrogation room if he was just killed, Bill, like having sex with you in a coffin with a knife, was just having sex with me while I was out of it.


But, yeah, I mean, I went I was down. I also embarrassed myself on a Zoome call for the Comedy Store.


Also what we're just making up a different personality for yourself. Every time I would speak to you different, you you had said me, I should find those message. At one point you had sent me four different Spreyton artist artist and you said we have to book them after I'm out a covid.


And I was like, OK, that sounds fun. You sure? And you were like, I just feel like we should be more tense. Then I was like, What?


I mean, when when I had covid, I did start hallucinating a little bit. But I couldn't I wasn't going outside. I was walking, I wasn't doing anything. And I was I guess I probably wanted to get a spray tan, but then you can't.


But you also said, I wear so much sunscreen, we wear so much sunscreen. OK, I just started texting you about spray tan spray tanners.


You also sent me, remember? I don't remember any of this. Yeah, you don't.


Because I was like, should I book her on you like we were talking about? So I. I asked you to book self tanners spray tan artist. OK, please get it right. OK, spray tan artists. You also asked me to book to find a new flower shop. What a new a new flower shop to order flowers from.


OK for four guests for. OK, so side effect of covid you get very generous. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of trying new things, a lot of talking about piercings, tattoos.


Oh I do want to get. Yeah that I know is real new tattoo.


I just, I really want to get a giant horse on my forearm giant. A giant. It's going to happen and it's happening. And that's not a Koven thing. No. That's why I opened it for later.


There was a lot of weird requests like that, a lot of very like beauty based requests, a lot of like facials. And I can't and a lot of stuff like that. I felt disgusted.


I was like, finally I felt disgusting. I was in bed for four weeks straight. I could not. I felt just gross.


You know, you kept looking at your roots, retired, and I was like, maybe later we'll we'll circle back.


Well, I think it was because when I died my hair and have had all these crazy hair colors, I already looked like a covid patient before I had covid, you know, I mean, my behavior, the way I act.


But you were wanting to dye your own hair.


I'm just saying my personality is so nuts anyway that I think people were like, oh, I was in covid fog before covid even existed. You know, that's just my personality.


So I think at one point your lover called on my phone. Yeah.


And a good old two in the afternoon, lovely time of day.


And he said, can you talk to her? I can't get her to get out of the car.


And he put you on speakerphone and you said, I'm not getting out of the car until I get my yogurt.


So and he was like when either he had been like, they're inside. And you were like, I'm not standing in line without my my my yogurt.


And I was like, just give her the yogurt because I was trying to make sure that I was balancing the good and bad bacteria.


And you thought you were going to the hospital, you would do this, but you already came back to woman setting a boundary. And I stand by that. I don't know. No saying it, but not a great example. You sound strong, she sounds so delusional because you would claim you wanted the yogurt for when you got out at the hospital.


That sounds like someone who knows what they need when they need it.


You had already came back from the hospital, so you were at your home and thought you were leaving again. I was like a monster. So you were like I to a lunch.


Packing a lunch was no, you weren't a monster.


I think a yogurt so nice that I was like, really would would've been better take care of myself.


Yeah, you were. And I'm turning over a new leaf because, you know, I was not taking care of my immune system. I was sick for like two weeks. That was that's embarrassing that to you that there's no excuse.


I think it's I don't know if it's just being a woman, being a comedian. I don't know why. But for whatever reason, I do tend to self deprive and let myself be sick for too long. And I let it go. And I worry about everybody else except myself. And then I'm sick and. It's it's getting old. It may have nothing to do with being a woman or a comedian a lot with having to do with being Whitney.


It's just to me, it may just be like a work.


Like I just like working. I just work through being sick.


I mean, that's what when I first met you, you were sick. Ask me to go on tour with you. And you were you were so sick that you had to sleep between sets in Kentucky and then fell down the stairs. What?


Yeah, I remember we found the surgeon I caught you on when you were coming down.


I grabbed your backpack because you were so, like, out of it. I feel like you're poisoning me and gaslighting me. It's either that working.


I'm not very good at it. So you've been sick for a minute.


And then it just always turns into something else. It's always like it's you know, it's like, well, what is that?


I think it's I think in my head I have this like, I've got to get it all done now before I run out of time.


I think it's your body's way of saying take a vacation. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Between your body and Instagram, they really want you to go somewhere.


Yeah, I'm working on it. But that's cool because now we're here. Now we're here. We're fine. We're back. We're back up. And I might be in a little bit of an existential crisis, but I'm going to work through it.


And publicly with all of you, the episode that we recorded with Trixie, Mattel.


Wait, what we can't we can't slide past this cover without mentioning your all your gory, gory posts, OK?


The the the amount of Instagram requests being like we're taking this down and you can watch me post it again. Just you fighting with Instagram to try to post your bloody nose was the most insane thing I may have ever seen.


What is the problem? Why is everybody so upset? Well, trigger warnings probably, I don't know, oh, a bloody nose, that is, that I smack you just in your covid Haynes's reposting it, reposting it and it being like we're taking it down a not. And you weren't having it.


I don't remember any of that. No, we took care of it. We just fixed it, handled it handled. I wish I remembered more about that time. If you guys are upset about my behavior when I was on covid go to read it, I wrote a blog.


I agree. I agree with your criticisms. Having covered is crazy. It's truly a meant it's a physical health thing, but it's also a mental health crisis. Take care of your mentals. It's hard to delineate like what is going what's from covid, what's from the isolation, what's from the depression around the pandemic? What's was there before? You know, a lot of people I'm like, holy God, I'm just like being super neurotic.


And everyone's like, no, that's not a comforting. You've always been like that. Like, what's a you know, I think there's a lot of things that I'm blaming uncovered that have always been there. But I also went off Prozac like cold turkey when I had by accident. Yeah, so much to monitor that. But because I couldn't stop throwing up, that was that was you purging.


I just I could no, I just couldn't stop throwing up food on purpose. But I mean, like, if you're throwing up, it is. Yeah. Purging within yourself. Yeah. So it's like it's hard to tell what's from the actual covid, what's from the, you know, shrapnel of the code.


I mean it sounds like I would assume that it's the only thing from covid are the covid symptoms and the rest is just built around the fear. Yes.


So then everything starts to happen at once. Also you had two other sicknesses at the same time. It becomes very psychologic.


This whole thing, I feel like is becoming very psychological. Yeah.


You also were fostering a dog that bit you. You also, you know, busted your nose. You also had some kidneys. I mean, you had a lot of other things. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean there's that too.


I've had a month, I've had a couple of months but I'm back like I feel like I'm getting back slowly but surely I can. I remember my phone number yesterday. It's a new day.


Little things. Yeah.


And the great thing is that we can still do this whether you are saying or not, because it's Puncak, I'm slowly but surely becoming a human being again.


I'm very excited about it. We're gonna start talking again. We're going to Salt Lake City, Utah, February. Twenty fifth to February. Twenty seventh. I read that right. Yes, you do.


Irvine, we're going to California.


California is shut down in a way that is just this is a car show, correct? Yes. This is a car show. California, God damn mess. Because I don't know why it's not run better. I don't know.


OK, everyone just let someone else's podcast shouldn't on California or something new. I know, but I'm saying beautiful mountains, skyline, gorgeous. Yeah.


This is a beautiful state, but it's got a mess, so we still have to do company cars. Irvine, California, Irvine Improv, March six twenty twenty one, April 15th. We're going to Spokane, Washington.


Are we driving to these or Spokane, Washington, the 15th to the 17th, May 7th and 8th or the day after I turned thirty. Why?


It's my turn. Thirty on my say. Well, yeah. So I won't be there.


I'll be dead to poison you on your birthday. Dallas, Tempe, June.


May like we're coming. We're touring. Yeah. And you know what theater dates in the fall. We're going to hopefully they're going to our fingers. Yes.


Cross your fingers for all these.


Like if these are changing, it's important to know that these are changing and has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with the world.


We just feel so sorry, General. Panic and panic. We're trying to do the safest thing for you, for us, for everyone. We don't want your parents to die. We don't want to accidentally kill our fans. Yeah.


And, you know, we live in a world. We're also upping the game. We're going to up the game on social media. Going to be a lot more. Please make sure you subscribe to YouTube are going to be putting a lot more stuff on. There we are. We can answer that question.


No, you sound like you kind of sound half serious. No, I'm serious. You're serious. OK, yeah. You would know that if you watched on YouTube.


We're doing more YouTube comments. OK, that means I need to play content.


Yes, we're doing more YouTube content, less comments, comments, much like a Freudian slip. But yeah, we're gonna be doing a lot more on there. The good for you, Paige, is going to have its own little mini series and stuff. Make sure you're following it. We're trying to make enough content where you guys.


Aren't like lacking joy from this group until we can get to your city, you know what I mean? We're trying to we're trying to show that that's a very different world.


Television, but we're working on it. Yeah, we're doing it, we're doing the damn thing, my brain is coming back slowly but surely. I'm going to be a sparkling, effervescent delight again soon.


Yeah, there's to think.


Yeah, I have hope for myself. There's a good start there. There's there's two new members. But you met last time and the team. So there's a lot that'll help a content. I mean like there's a lot of furniture. Yeah.


We did have a stop down because of a covert exposure. So it's like we're just get back up and we're just like everybody.


We're doing giveaways the first of every month now. Yeah, we just did one moment. Really well. When are we post it? We'll always let you know who that is that you're paying attention to that the collection we gave away a bap bap bap Forcett. Did you get it? They mailed it to her. That's not important right now. But yeah. So they didn't we mailed it.


OK, there's sometimes when I see giveaways, when I see other people doing giveaways, I'm like, do they really send like I just want to.


Well she did actually screenshot. So yeah, we're doing all that. There will be bigger and better giveaways sometimes you never know. Never nothing to get better than a bap bap bap. But I'm just understand we did it.


So we're doing a lot and we're trying to keep up and we're trying to do. More fun things we're trying to talk about and doing things she wouldn't do before. That's a big part of it. It's basically like Weekend at Bernie's over here.


I kind of just drag my my body around and force me to do my corpse, to do things.


It's a lot of us trying to close that computer. Can we put you in these clothes? It's a lot of bent and sort of like gussying up my corpse.


We're trying. Yeah, we're doing the most. So come along for it. So, Trixie, Mattel, this interview we did a couple of weeks ago, I was in Pete covid fog, but thankfully Benton was sparkling and we had a surprise guest who was trying to guess you guys were all over this on the Internet, too.


But we were getting DM's the truth going to be on the show. I guess you posted something and people were like deciphering it. Well, the wallpaper was. Yes, I mean, you were everywhere.




We I noticed this person follows this person and I was like and I'm a detective.


I was like mentally handicapped during this episode. So Benton basically ran the show for me. And I cannot thank you enough for asking all the questions. I was not smart enough. We did record for four hours.


We so we have a lot for so long. We had such a good time. We had to cut it down. We have a lot of like maybe stuff you'll see later on that's going to be in the podcast, like here and there. We'll put it out.


But it was like, yeah, but we've had some like little obstacles and but we overcame them and we're now like hardcore like living in bubbles, like we're shooting in Plexiglas. Our our studio looks like A Space Odyssey, the set of. Yeah, we're not going to show you anymore the studio either.


We're going to do a big reveal later when we. Because we're running it. Yeah. We're not going to show you any more teaser.


And then we have. So we I mean Whitney specifically amazing guests in twenty twenty one like I feel like our guest list is getting is I think any better. I know they are getting amazing, amazing, amazing. And I'm working really, really hard you guys to not do them remotely. I know that that remote the zone podcasts are not ideal. I'm working so hard to get everybody tested and making sure it's safe. But getting guests in person in Los Angeles is, you know, it's really hard right now because of the numbers here.


Yeah, but we're following all the protocols set by the CDC. Oh, I am. That website and I are so looking for intimate, intimate.


Connect it.


If you're not mad at your favorite TV show for filming, leave us alone. Yeah, exactly.


We are literally doing the protocol of a Marvel movie, the six and the six of us. So I know.


And a doctor and and then starting next week, we're going to have opens like we're going to have content, we're going to have the TVs up.


We're going to be doing the damn news opens. We're going to free Britney.


That's our big we made that promise last year and we fell short. No, we're going to frère we're going to free Britney, Springer and ice cream. Don't you worry. Laura was just coming on the show. I have a legal professional coming on the show. She's going to help as well. I'm on it. If you're against the queen, they all love you. I love you guys don't ride elephants. We now interrupt this chaos to talk about the most important thing to me, food.


I am so lazy when it comes to food. I cannot believe it. Thirty eight years old. I'm still such a brat about eating healthy. I'm such a I'm just a brat.


I'm realizing I'm Bratz doll. You're not a Bratz at all.


You'll probably be a brat. You think I'm saying like well it's a lot easier with daily harvest.


I'm just saying daily harvest is made for someone like me, someone who's a brat who's like, I'm look, I never figured out how to eat healthy. I'm not going to do it. I'm never going to do it. I'm not going to learn how to cook. I refuse like it's made for an invalid like me.


I love the idea that our sponsors pay us so that we can we can just build up this tension of what the ad is in the middle of the thing.


I'm like, OK, it's food related. They're trying to guess. They're like, isn't it? Who could it be?


Well, I like to set the stage because I don't just take any sponsor.


Well, it is really harvest and they are awesome. We have some product. You wanna hold them up? Hold on. Listen, they have this the flatbread. Nobut daily hard. This is the thing.


They're it's made for people that are like it's healthy on the go ready food. Yeah.


If you're a trash person like me and do not take care of yourself.


Just honestly, if you have daily harvest in your life later on this morning, you have this one. This morning is so good. I love that cauliflower.


It's like it's like that expensive oatmeal, but it's already at my house. You don't you know what it is.


It's like it's like having groceries. Parents. Oh, daily harvest is like having parents that care about you and love you.


That, like, made premade meals for you. It's like what our parents should have been doing this whole time.


This is like if this is like if Gwyneth Paltrow was your parents. That's right. That's what this is. It's the healthiest clean up version.


So if you there's no McDonald's strips here, OK, this is basically if you order daily harvest, it's like as if Gwyneth Paltrow was preparing you daily smoothies and oatmeal.


I'm sure we can say for sure we can loop her in. But it is they deliver right to your house. It's all healthy. It's easy. Ready to use. There's a we have a flatbread here, too. I'll just take it. Oh, this is a flatbread. But I did eat and this is the box. But it's it's kombucha and sage. What. And if you could put Computron a fiber I thought was a liquid.


They soak this flatbread in kombucha. For me it was delicious.


It's cauliflower, kombucha squash also didn't let it bother me.


Let me tell you this just in I'm being heckled by our kind of sort of Asian producer. This is called, what is it called? Caboolture.


That's OK. Because I can't I like I don't. The daily harvest is just in Computron flatbreads. I don't think they got a better I think they got that sloppy. Anyways, you can do the research on that yourself. Look at this.


And they put it in a paper retainer. So everything is recyclable. Yes.


So you're not wasting a bunch of, you know, in the Tupperware when you have to take it and bring it home. And it's like then you have to clean it and you leave it at work. It's a nightmare.


They've just like solved every problem that I've ever had with having to bring lunch to work.


Yeah, it feels like you order to go through, but you didn't you make yourself and you can get started today. You got a daily harvest dotcom and enter promo code. Good for you to get twenty five dollars off your first box. That's promo code. Good for you for twenty five dollars off your first box at Daily Harvest Dotcom. Daily Harvest Dotcom.


You know fashion is my strong suit. I'm known for my fashion.


Yeah. You're the Vivienne Westwood of comedy. The Courtney Love Company, Lesbian Fashion. I cannot be trusted to buy my own clothes.


I'm learning that is is this why we got it?


Is this why Stitch Fix is a sponsor? You've really come to a place where you need robots to do everything.


Well, I'm just saying, like, I can't be left to my own devices. Like I you're like helping you live an algorithm. You're like, please, somebody.


This stitch fix is it feels like an intervention, frankly.


Is is if you ever if you just don't like going to the mall, if you just don't like online shopping, if you don't like putting locks together, they handle it. There's like these personal unstylish. You go on their website, you take a handful of questions, they're easy questions. There's no pressure. It's just like, do you like to shop? Yes. No, maybe.


Well, it's like having a personal shopper, like there's no shame and not being a professional stylist, like I'll buy things online.


I mean, there's also no shame in having no style. But I'm just sitting there full stitch fix, like I'm into this company because I don't want to have to think about what I'm wearing.


I don't want to like I'm just at a point where it's like I have I have decision fatigue, you know, they say like to be clear, just so situation that come for us, a lot of benefit she puts together on her own, even if the clothes came from there. So let's put that on them.


I'm just saying Stitch Fix is like a personal stylist in a box at your door.


You can try on the pieces you need because let's be honest, we make when I go shopping online, I want to buy the like the dumb thing.


That's four hundred dollars that I want to buy the fanis that I'm going to wear once stitch fix is like here are the staples. Here's what you actually need. Yeah.


And you can tell them if you really love something, if you want to add more of that type of style and your like little razmi chart they keep up with, it also shows you visuals of the outfits and you can say I like this or not.


Yeah, yeah.


I mean, I just think it's a you know, then you just pay a twenty dollars filing fee for each box, which gets credited towards pieces that you keep.


I just feel like we've spent waste so much time worrying about what we're wearing. Keep what you love, you return what you don't stitch. Fix has free shipping, easy returns and exchanges and a prepaid return envelope.


Yeah. So is it envelope or envelope.


Envelope. So get started today and stitch fix dot com slash envelope. Is it started today and stitch fix dot com slash Whitney and you'll get twenty five percent off when you keep everything in your fix that stitch fix dotcom slash Whitney for twenty five percent off when you keep everything in your fix stitch fix dotcom slash Whitney stitch fix. It was not made people list.


They were like fucking. So happy to be here, Fenton and Trixie Mattel are here, the professional singer. I'm so happy to be here. You know, we're happy to have you. Are we friends? Yes. When you listen, I was just telling but listen to Pod's a lot. You believe you know the people. So then when you meet, for their part, it just feels like, yeah, I've been having an unknowing three way conversation with you people trying to not ask you if you found new line.


And I don't I'm like, did you find. I'm like, yes, I did. Thank you for asking.


I want to ask about my white eyeliner. Should we tell the story about the.


Should we tell the story of us doing drag race? Oh, yes. You were there, right? I don't know. You did Celebrity Drag Race. You were on the episode right after us.


We did it with Miss Elyssa.


There's her that's so fun. It was I mean, it's different.


Look, where was my friend I can say this. Well, I think they were confused.


You know, their families. Sophie Robinson, our friend, is on there. And you know how you're supposed to bring, like, people to, like, cheer you on.


Well, she brought us, but it credit her Phoebe's friend, Don, her name or anything.


And she didn't. I was just going to be respectful and not make it about me, believe it or not. And I was like, this is someone else's show.


I mean, just not like be like I mean, like will not be that person.


And they went along with it. They sure did. They're like, why she on the runway. They said they said they blurred her, they changed her voice. Unsolved mystery. That's what she was.


You go girl, I support you with my best friend.


I can't do it because it literally goes and I'm like, Phoebe did it, like such a good job. And it just goes. Whitney's friend. I just did.


I did just for laughs last year when we could do shows. Yeah. And I was Jonathan AIFS, Jonathan Beaners was with me and Jonathan Venus' is in an SUV with guards walking around with a guard in there with him, a big black SUV. I'm riding behind him in a gown.


And of course it you know, you're on a bicycle parts.


And I was like, it will never be what you think it is in terms of of drag in general, like the sport of drag is comics like who are, I think, thought of, for the most part, stand up comedians.


I thought it was like, oh, God, you're like, who? I can never do what you do. That's what this is.


You do the scariest thing in the world, like drag to me. That's where I go. I could never fucking do that.


You know, it's funny. I was bald. I always want to do stand up. And then through college, I was always like this is that open, Mike? I'm just going to do it. Next week's The Week. And I would always not do it. And then I was doing drag. And it's so funny because I used to be just a lip sync here, you know? And one night this naked trans woman in the cast, you know, in drag, you get very comfortable with naked bodies.


Right. And she's gluing fabric to her body to hide her everything. And she's like, you got to stall you to take the microphone, just like I have to go talk to the audience. And I went out there and it was like rolled right off the tongue. And then I came back and she was like, you're really funny. You should do like more talking on the microphone. And then I had done, like, all drag queens do standup without calling it right.


We all have our bits. We have to be comfortable improvising. We have our list of stories or hack jokes to tell.


I'm going to say something is very controversial, which is I think drag is more entertaining than standup because it is stand up.


Plus the visual. You know, I'm saying these are visual roasts, jokes like this.


That's what this is. So like whenever like that, you're roasting sort of like femininity.


It's like you're roasting your own gayness. And, you know, in America, a man expressing himself in a feminine way is the ultimate subversion of power. Like it's the most taboo for you to be a man and do something feminine because. Oh, yes, yes.


There's no positive word for being a feminine man, but there's tons of being like a masculine girl, tomboy, homophobia. It boils down to anti women. This. Yeah, there's something I man being anything like a woman is the problem. So like it's all linked. And I guess with drag it's more like, well, I'm also six feet tall and white skin with a shaved head. It's not exactly the look for comedy nowadays.


So like the great thing about being Trixi, especially Flanagan, you're right.


There are a lot of I'll go to the a lot of white men have been canceled. There's a lot of slots available for signee. There's plenty to go around.


Have you ever done stand up at a gay bar? Not in drag, no. But I've done most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.


I've done it in shows like I've tested material at gay standup nights and it's fine. But I'm also in drag because getting gay men to clap for gay men or gay men to see in a person's finally possible the velvet rage thing.


Now, can you explain that? So it's like gay people kind of like thinking somebody else can't be good without saying I'm less good because is that so many spots?


It's because of the scarcity complex. As a female comedian, me, 15 years ago, I was like female comics. We were so competitive with each other because it was me or you were talking about that you'd never met.


And it was like a weird rivalry based on, yes, that's a very gay I mean, I have to perform at gay bars in Nashville and like you could hear a pin drop, somebody would make a sound and I have to get offstage stage.


And they would be like, that was so funny. It was so good. We really enjoyed it.


But I would not would not give you the time of day. Yeah. Gay people, because gay guys watch shows like whatever. I'm funny too. But then you put the wig on and they're like, oh, that person is honestly that person submitted. To us, in a way, by being more ridiculous in more gay than us, so we can kind of lift them up because they're not threatening. It's a lot there's a lot of time with it, but it's true, it's I mean, I think about the ways that I, as a woman, contorted myself into this business to make other people comfortable.


And like, you know, the even now you're taking your top off and there's no producers here. I'm not casting no one straight here. Like, it's not even like no one that wants to fuck a woman isn't even even here. But, you know, I was sweating and I'm getting a new shirt. It's on the way. You're sweating through a shirt with no sleeves.


Like, truly, what perfume did you wear in high school?


God, like axe body spray that I got from the Family Dollar and Crovitz, Wisconsin, that my mom still buys me every year for Christmas.


You stole my love with your money.


Buys me bad man or bad man. Oh, my God. But you know what?


Nowadays, I mentioned flat with her. My mom is you know, she's not a woman with a lot of money. And I'll just say I want razors and makeup wipes. She delivers every year because she's like, perfect. I shave constantly and I use makeup wipes constantly. Just give me that Neutrogena JULlETTE. Thank you.


I love that because you know, my family don't know about you, but my family knows so little about me sometimes that they're like, remember 12 years ago when I walked in and you were watching the office? So now every year you're getting the office merchandise for Christmas like they know so little about me.


The like has ahead, right?


Yeah, that's a half perfect.


You know, like it's just frozen in time. Yeah, it it's fine. That's so true. I don't expect there's something sweet about that kind of.


Plus I stunt on them with Christmas gifts and I'm you know, if I'm on my house this year for Christmas. So she's she's fine. I watched your documentary.


I cried many times. Oh really? Yes. I cried many times that your documentary because, you know, moving parts, moving parts on Netflix or on iTunes.


The producers would prefer it if you bought on iTunes, I'm sure.


But was there anything that was cut out that you wish wasn't. No, there's stuff in there that I, I left in knowing, like, I'm going to hate this every time I see it.


There's a part where Katya is like, you know, we weren't we worked hard all the time. And there was a part where it seemed like she was never really going to come back to us. And there's a part where it was the most selfish, like self-serving, like like, I don't know, like a performer thinking of only themselves. And I was like, what if no one wants to see me without her? Which is like when somebody is like hardcore addiction and you're going, well, how does this affect me?


It's like that is so embarrassing. But also now looking back, I'm like, well, maybe that's honestly what people do think. And then you do go and you feel bad about how that affects you. That is kind of relatable if you have like a friend with this.


I know it was a to me that was the most real shit. That was truly my favorite part of it. I think that most people in most situations are thinking about how does this affect me? I think it's very human.


And I mean, we didn't want to I mean, we still work together, so work together all the time. And we didn't want it to. It's not a documentary about Katya. It's a documentary about me. And that was just happened to be something that happened during the documentaries. Who could not acknowledge. Yeah, yeah.


I don't think people understand and like the sort of like connection between, you know, I think you are a standup comedian, so. But drag and standup are so similar, but also drag so much harder like I watch watching you carrying those fucking bags of luggage, bags, luggage.


I had my hop, my guitar, my backpack with my computer flash drives.


I mean, it's I had to carry this bag of makeup in and almost quit. It's a lot of they should have.


You guys are just in Martindale. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Just I remember that when I first moved to L.A., Justin was like, well, why don't you come to the Comedy Store with me and you can watch me do a set and maybe you can do some gigs around here. And I went with them and I went to his house first and I watched him go like this with his hair and put on a leather jacket. And he's like, I'm ready to go.


And it never occurred to me. Normal comedians. So men actually don't think I'm spending hours before I even get in the car to go somewhere, you know, and especially when watch Top Model or Project Runway, it's like on drag race and beyond, we have to get in drag, do the hair, the makeup, make the costume, write the jokes, choreograph the dance, write the song, learn the lyrics, book the gigs. I mean, we truly have to do everything.


And I will never not acknowledge like we do a lot. We do everything you're doing and we do it on stilts and we do it on stilts.


And we do we have to be in full hair and makeup like I remember like in the local radio shit like people. I think the people that really have fuck with me for a long time know this like I used to.


I mean, 14, 15 years ago, I would fly in the night before a local club show and do a redeye because that was the cheapest.


Right. And then you drive straight to radio. You land at five am in Toledo and then you're like eight. And then you yeah. You go straight to Zygi and Pussy in the morning.


Oh, it's saying it was what was it.


Was it was it Maria Bamford show where it's like so-and-so in the do you know in a radio spot and the guest and, and the host was like so growing up your stepfather used to make fun of you.


Do you want to talk about that? And it was like six in the morning and always want to go. And it was like, this is like the weird thing to talk about. The more people say your stepfather abused, you never really, really made fun of. Let's talk about it. Yeah.


They're like, did you resolve that relationship? Like I'm do you one better. He died of alcohol, know.


They're like. Do to dig into Zanies and about, and I'm lucky enough to that by the time I book the radio promotion, a lot of times it's sold out. So then I'm there in a wig at eight in the morning. It's fine. I mean, everybody's usually really respectful. I will say the comedy thing's fine because I'm lucky enough to get to do a lot of these comedy places.


And so I'll just for laughs or whatever. All the comedians know each other and then I don't know any of them except for like a guy and a girl who are like, hey, they know who I am. But it's always weird because I will have the same numbers on the tours then the comedians that we don't know each other. So then I'll get to do these group things where I'm like, oh my God, that's N3. Just like like, oh my God, that's Anthony Anderson.


I'm like, oh my God, what comedians do you like? I mean, it's I have a long list. I mean, I love Maria.


I love have you said Maria special where she does stand up for her parents. Yes. Incredible. Maria Bamford. Yes. So good, Maria.


So good. I love Dana Gould. My earliest memories are like me stealing Ellen's albums online.


We're like here and now.


And this was just like, oh, remember when Ellen heard that? Remember Ellen's joke about when you get shampoo and it's in the back of it says a quarter size.


Can it be two dimes and a nickel? So good.


And obviously, Sarah, like when I saw Jesus is magic. Yeah, I grew up playing guitar. I thought I want to be a musician. So when I saw somebody come by and stand up with a guitar, it was like a light bulb. I guess people like Ellen and people like Sarah where they're smart enough to know what their sound and their look is. And how does that inform the delivery? Like Sarah's like doe eyed and so everything seems innocent.


Yeah, materials rock smart, right.


And like Ellen, everything is like she plays that this person's really dumb and having revelations on stage. She's kind of an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess with drag too, isn't that drug you design a look to match your boy or to juxtapose.


Yes. And once I realized like well if I want to tell these like dirty sort of off color dark jokes, this super happy big look is there.


It's like cushion.


How do Barbie doll saying like crazy. Yeah. Barbie doll, you pull the thing on the back and it talks about a divorce. Like I said, I'm into that. Yeah.


It's our job to surprise people. So how can I take them all the way this direction. Blue hair with your. So that's the thing is that now like with this I now have to go like straight clean my next batch.


I'm going to try to do totally clean out. You should, I'm going to try. That's my mind.


I just like your clean special do the photo shoot like soap and stuff like really hot though.


Like, like soap bubbles on the titties and the like the still censored. Like this is my clean special because Yourgrau is real provocative named.


Yes. Maybe it's like, you know, I'm going to take a dick today. Always something like that. She said, yes, maybe, maybe when I come back and an asshole differently, it's like it's all about whole eating pussy pussy sever or that what I'm your girlfriend or you're like ripping your chest open.


Yeah, I love you.


I like really jarring. Let's get a brain aneurysm. Call it tick tock.


I don't like it. Yeah.


I don't like funny names for special student. I mean like I don't like it to be too because your last name's Cummings, you're like it's too much. I mean that's the thing is that having last name comes out okay. Really my last I was skinny legend which was, which is a joke but I was like let's just do that.


It's like so good.


I mean I'm so fucking good, so skinny is the stupidest thing in the world and it's just like and to call yourself a legend is the stupidest thing in the world. When's your birthday? August. Twenty third.


Mr. Drag Queens are lucky, though, because we're afforded a certain amount of vanity without if you're a normal person saying, like, I'm skinny and a legend, you're like you're crazy.


You're like is like female. Rappers can talk about how much money rappers. No. How much money they have. Yeah. All these things they have, it's like normal.




Like if there's no one it's like a traditional comedian was like I'm rich people like gross like don't you dare say that versus drag queens being like the most important person alive is here. Yeah. Like yes. And believe that. Sure. I believe when you say delusional confidence is addictive. It is.


And it's essential people got to see drag to watch delusional confidence. Hundred. I think this is all secondary.


What you really watch is to watch someone believe it, the fantasy believe it even on drug use.


And for an Rupal I'm like, you're cute but you can't tell me anything because it's I mean psycho. It's psycho to believe in yourself that much. But it's also inspiring because, you know, under this I'm just like not prepossessing white guy from the Midwest. It's like but it's still fun to watch someone paratus.


You think a confident, beautiful, famous, rich person.


Have you ever cried for a performance? And like during a performance, I cried during my own all meeting.


I don't I cry sometimes when I'm singing the song sometimes like in moving parts, the song moving parts. And then I was kind of maybe get a little too into it.


But when I cry, doing other people's thing know, like when you cry, like I have cried on stage during a set because I didn't think it was going well or I was just like not I wanted to cause a breakdown.


You had a breakdown once.


You never had a break once you're on stage or had the Lisa Lampanelli. Remember that?


Oh, that was like I've never had that out on the audience. Right. On that thing. Like I've I've had, because once you're on stage, you're there's no. This is weekend documentaries, podcasts. We can get up, we can take breaks.


But once you're on stage and there's a couple thousand people standing there like you're there, you're there, there are your clock runs until you've got a good hour and a half when you're on that stage.


I don't know about you, but I have the problem of if it doesn't go my way in the first few minutes, I have such a hard time recovering. And also it's that thing, you know it on paper. The audience has all different types of laughs. Some people are silent and they love it. Some people are laughing and they don't think of that. Great. So when you don't get that laugh in the beginning, it's so hard for me to not be like it's one of those nights.


Yeah, it doesn't have to be.


I let the audience choose the terms too often. That's why they decide what the show is going to be based on how loud they're in the first few minutes. And then it's like, well, that's not your job. Your job isn't to do a good show if they laugh immediately.


Yes, your job is to. That's why the troops are the ones where you have seven people and you're the case, the Phuket's and you're like, I'm on fire. Yeah.


Because they're just saying anything and everything. Do you feel the same delusional confidence when you're not in drag? Because I feel like for me, watching drag queens have made me feel like like when I put on this jacket on, like, you can tell me shit. Yeah. And I think I have learned that from just watching, like Valentino or someone just believe what she is saying.


I feel like to me, Trixie's like a separate thing, like I feel like Walt Disney about Mickey Mouse. I love it. I'm proud of it. I invented it. Yeah.


But like and then I get to be Mickey Mouse sometimes, but I still feel proud of, like, that thing, you know. Yeah. But I don't walk around like I'm much more of a heider out of drag, like sunglasses, hat, hoodie, just, just trying to vibe no one. Look at me.


Just kind of I'm just trying to vibe until you get out and you're like hello. Yeah. I'm like hello. You just pull a wig out of a small purse. Yeah.


And what like if someone asked me this the other day and I thought it was an interesting question, it annoyed me at first. And then I was like, I really want to be able to answer this in an elegant way. Like, what won't you joke about?


Nobody I truly idolize. Who cares if you were offended by what they did? So then I'm like, yeah, if you like this person because they don't care. Yeah. You know, yeah. That's what I want to hear.


People like you, people who are like comedy, you know, up there. And when I remind myself that they get canceled and it will never go away and it's common. And also people like I was talking to people about this, people want to see a plane take off and then see a plane crash. You can't get canceled and people don't talk about you.


I think you have rich money or so like if you plan on being successful, plan on people being critical of everything you do.


Yeah. And it's also it's not real. It's not real talking. It's like two hundred people. But because and I say this all, it's not like to, to remind people which is like comics is like, you know, we, it is our job to amplify, amplify criticism. That's how we get better because we're insecure and we go, I don't get the thousand people. One person is not laughing. That's the only person I care about.


Right. So that's how we get better. The fact that we are having this reaction against a culture. But it's also we have what does it what was cancer?


You always think about the fact that we live in a world. A lot of people that are really into cancer culture are people that have never they're born. They've never lived in a world outside of this one. They weren't around for the thousand. The ninety also when I was watching, like Chelsea Handler and you and Joan Rivers and I was like, you can say whatever you want about people.


And I was like, that's the kind of comedy I want to do. And then now these people are going up with like a very different version of comedy in a very different world.


But it's also it's not their job to not try to cancel us. It's our job to ignore them. Why are we taking them seriously? I'm a drag queen about this.


And she was she has this amazing saying that you do you care what Beth from Iowa thinks?


Like, what are you doing? She's talking about you. It is. What if you had told me when I when when I was a matter if you had told me when I was fucking eleven years old and watching Pauly Shore on MTV and like watching Rupal on fucking the beach house or whatever the fuck. Right. That in twenty five years Beth from where I was Iowa was going to hate my fourth standup special. I would have sucked everybody's dick.


And you know what the main thing is? It becomes about you have an obligation to perform your best for the people who do like you.


So when you let that fool in, you're actually just hurting your process and hurting the people who love what you do.


I the people that don't fuck with me. That's what I say. You don't fuck with me. You never fucked with me. It's fine. Like I'm here for the people that have always fucked. I could be killed.


Half the people in this country would have me killed for dressing like this in the first place. I didn't start doing drag for people like me, this is the most offensive thing you can do is cross dress. It's bloody, it's sexual, it's offensive, it's gross. It's grotesque like this. I didn't start this because I needed everyone in the room to agree with it.


And so then I have to remind myself, like, bitch, you do drag. Why did you care if that person walked out of you? So, yeah, you walk out all the time. I'm like, then I guess you didn't know what you were coming to do. This was the point.


Yeah, that's what I always do. I go I wrote all these jokes to try to make people think and provoke people and make them sort of change them and make them not like shock them. And then when I do that, I'm like, what you don't like like we always uncomfortable.


We own we all have our own lines. For me, I hate the word retarded. I never am for making fun of people with any sort of intellectual disability. Yeah, maybe at a roast. Yeah, but like, you know, my shows. You mean like autism Asperger? Yeah. Like even when people say like, that's retarded and I say don't.


And I sit like an employer once who said it. And I said, can you not say that. She's like, oh do you have like a sister or brother or something. I'm like, no, we're at the mall. And you just said, something's retarded.


So no. Yeah, that can be hard.


Like I when I was no, I personally have no line. I say whatever.


When I was I was playing basketball in high school and I did some and I was like when I was 16 and I said like I was like, oh, so you're so retarded. And then someone said to me, my brother's retarded.


Like everything just every day was like it was just like a what's the same is like that's gay forever. And I was like, what are you saying? And I was like, well, why would I say retarded? And then be mad. As someone says, that's gay. Same thing. Yeah. It's interesting.


I have a line, I, I mean, I won't talk about like politics or airplane fuks I just think is boring. Yeah.


You know what I mean. And like the new comedy joke after about twenty twenty though it's going to be remember airline food.


Remember airlines like. I love Lady Bunny. She's one of my favorite drag queens. She has a special DVD called Rated X for extra retarded.


I would never call it. Does anybody know it's like when Kevin Hart when Kevin Hart got in trouble for that gay joke or whatever it was like, I still have my ass off at the whole special. I can not like one joke. Yeah, I still like the rest.


Also, we want everyone to change so much contently. We're like, do better, do better. But then as soon as you get the opportunity, you better watch your candle.


But it's also we need contrast. So it's also it's like I go to the grocery store and I don't buy most of the stuff there. If you don't fuck with me, like, that's totally fine.


But I can't start deteriorating like what I do in letting you get in my head because you were never buying tickets in the first place. You do. We are taking advice from people that never bought tickets in the first place.


Think, what are you doing more you stay true to what you're doing, you keep doing it. The more people are going to be like, oh, why can't I get it now?


Your job is to deliver really potent content to people and let them remember what they loved about it, forget what they didn't like about it.


Very conscious, only a job. I have a very controversial question for you.


What does this make you canceled? What's your favorite city to perform in? Oh, I mean, maybe your hometown because it's your hometown, but.


I like L.A. Is that awful? No, not like when the tourists come, I bet L.A. is usually and the tours in L.A. And so I'm like really warmed up. I know the material and I know that there's my friends there, industry people.


And I'm always just like I'm just like vibrating.


Yes, I like that. I also like like as far as comedy, anything in the UK because those people have dark. Well, that's that's they will laugh at anything.


They will laugh at the worst shit you've ever said best. And then that's pretty much my favorite.


Yeah. The rest of the world, honestly, because America is so like first of all, you're filming things you shouldn't be filming and then you're taking a clip of something you thought was offensive. And it's all just I'm not even that offensive. That's the thing at all. I'm not like a Beanca where I don't my shows don't have like and I don't joke about anything that isn't personal. So like, one time I had a girl come up to after a show and was like she came to the tour bus, she fell down a dark alley to a tour bus.


And she was like, I need to return your shirt. And I said, oh, you need a different size. And she said, no, you made a joke about sexual abuse. And as a survivor, I just can't be a fan of yours anymore.


And it's like, well, I'm pretty openly a survivor of that in the show. I'm talking about my own abuse. Who are you to tell me how to process?


And that's what my own situation lets people have to homeowners. Also, you follow me down a dark alley, you're outside.


You learn anything from the original, you're a predator. It's a great think for this. You're about you're about to be abused again. You're like, I'm a woman. You can follow me down, out. And I also sounds like you're about to get raped again.


Bianca puts it really well. She says when somebody says they're disappointed from a joke she told, she says what she hears is that this wasn't what you thought it was and you found out. And that's OK. You never have to see me again. That's all it is. In 1978, when hair was on Broadway and hair had rock music, homeless people in the cast, interracial kissing, lesbians, if you went to the play and you didn't like it, you would maybe go to brunch the next day and go like, oh, it was a little over the line for me.


Some of it was a little crazy.


Yeah, yeah. You don't go to the stage door and go, I saw something like, I'm waiting now. I apologize. Yeah. As a viewer, as an audience member, your recourse is pretty slim.


Like, I guess you just go home and you don't like it. Like no one owes you anything.


I don't want people deciding what's OK for me to see. Do you don't I mean, yes. Don't worry, it's a show where we've made sure nothing is offensive outside what was a fence, because then I also get people that come up to me and they go, oh, my God, he made that joke about getting raped. That was the first time I've ever laughed you about something like that. So I get a lot of that as well.


And I'm just sort of like I don't you know, it's interesting that our job is to, you know, obsessively care about feedback and what they think. Yeah. But then as soon as we get off stage, we have to stop filtering. Yeah. I mean, we're just muscle.


Yeah. Joan Rivers just all the time. She's like comedy. If you don't laugh, if you don't laugh at all the tragic stuff, where will we be.


And hoping with Biden, I'm hoping that this chasm of hypersensitivity erupted the last eight, four years. Four years is like I'm worse.


I'm hoping with Biden, with the world being a little more safe, people will feel a little more comfortable moving that line back to. Yeah, we had this conversation before.


Everyone can kind of it's real in America. Everyone loves it. It's like, what is it? 22 percent of people are on Twitter.


Of that, two percent of the comments, none of it's it's only real in the sense of like if you're making your living off of these platforms like Instagram or cubers or things like that, you you have to have a a give and take of like I am hearing your feedback and I'm adjusting to it without changing.


Yeah. Have you ever done something illegal? There's no such thing as being canceled. Yeah. In my you do have to learn the hard way a little bit. And this year I definitely was like the end of the year. I was like all the times I thought I was like in trouble or whatever. I was like it's.


So you're it's your own perception. We now interrupt this beautiful chaos, gorgeous. We're going to take a nap. I'm going to bed to talk to you about my favorite hobby, sleeping two two ads ago.


It was eating. So we're going to keep up the podcast. This is going to be a quiz at the end of all my favorite things. Yes. Within this is for Helix. We've talked about Helix before.


And let me tell you, getting out of my bed, I may not do it. It is touch and go.


If I'm going to show up, it is I between the sheets and the mattress and everything else on that bed, I may never leave it.


I mean, we had a mandatory 10 day quarantine. You know that much of a choice.


Even then, thank God we have a helix mattress. Yeah. My dad growing up, my dad said people need two things in life.


Good food and a good bed if they work hard because they don't want to spend, what, thirty three percent of your life in your bed. Right. I mean, maybe for normal. I spend like ninety eight. We spend so much more time in our beds now because of the pandemic, mattresses are more important than whoever.


Yeah, and he likes you. Take a quiz online. You just go take a little two minute quiz and matches you your body type to the perfect sleepout, which is very important.


There's nothing more, dude. Most of the damage you're doing to your body is at night while you're sleeping. That is what a very famous chiropractor told me. Very successful chiropractor. That's true. But in order to keep going to him at the time.


But he was like all the damage you're doing to your body happens while you're sleeping.


It's all about the mattress, the nightmare, because I sleep on cinder block. So it's really difficult.


And remember being like, OK, but I don't know how to implement the advice you're giving me. And he looks has solved that problem.


Yeah. Met you. I mean, there's multiple different mattresses and they match you like we got two different mattresses. You have the very, very like soft one and I have the medium firm when they have these fancy names, which I be honest did not memorize because they were very hard to pronounce. But that worked. And I bought it again.


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Yeah, those are some bitchy outlets. The two men, those are some snobby outlets. If they think if they put them no.


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Helix, you know what I want to do? I want to experiment with reading an ad verbatim.


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Did you go to your high school prom? Yeah. King what? Yeah, it was king of the problem, I nominated myself, I lost my tooth. Wasn't that fierce, so sorry. Well, you didn't want to surprise.


You have your whole high school class right now to bring their kids to your prom king.


King. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. I'm kidding.


I'm queen of the prom queen. I don't even remember. I don't even remember it's not. Very. Why would you? Because you're so young, you know. Exactly. I just nominated myself in, like, prom king wasn't cool once. I was like, listen, I haven't said I'm gay.


This is a class of 30 people, so I'm just going to win. Can you spell it for me? Great. Great.


It was like not a class of 30 people. It was like nothing.


And I got rid of as soon as I moved to the city, I was like, I don't want this crown.


I threw it away. But honey. Yeah, the dry Chris Crown. Now, that's better. So much.


What are you scared of? You strike me. I'm so fiercely jealous of you.


I'm so fiercely like because of my body. Because your body, beauty, breasts, breasts, all of it.


Because you're just like much more natural. Like my body. Yeah. We want to be like what. Because I just what like is there what scares you.


I mean is it relatable content to say nothing. I mean, yes, I mean especially in drag. Nothing scares me.


Nothing when you drag your in your with a shield. A human shield.


Yeah. Nothing scares me. Obviously I get scared of disappointing myself of like let's say trying something that doesn't work or putting on a makeup product that flops and I'm like oh shit. Or I don't know, putting out an album and having it not reach the expectation. I want like letting myself down professionally.


It's OK for me, but it hasn't happened yet. So how long have you been with your boy?


Almost five years. Wow. The more you put out and the more you do, the more does that fear go away.


Yeah, the more I'm like like my first record I was like, oh my God, I use all my own money. This could be so embarrassing and such a flop. And I remember I landed in the UK and it was on the charts and remembering like I but mind blown.


Mind blown. I'm on this plane. Amazing. And then yeah, my boyfriend, I've been together like five years and we have a lot of like he produced that film about me and we have a lot of projects coming up. But I don't really get scared of anything. I don't know. I spent a lot of my life scared up to 18. I was scared every day, all the time.


And that like home, my stepdad, my family, the world. And then honestly, like once I started doing drag at eighteen, I was like, oh, my God, that's all gone.


Oh, I had never scared.


I mean, I know that's not relatable. No, it's it's bad because I feel like you can't be in entertainment without being, like, really despicable me.


And I'm like, I eat normal. I don't have an addiction. My family's fine.


Here's my problem is like this is what I always talk about. And I get in trouble in this podcast.


I'm like, you know, you're allowed to not have an anxiety disorder or I like I know it's very trendy to, like, have Lyme disease right now. Like, you don't have to be a victim all the time. Yeah.


And honestly, like, a lot of horrible things that happened to me, but I have seen it all, as I talk about in the movie, like, yeah, I take a lot of pride in being somebody you would think had a totally normal everything, you know. Yeah.


You don't have to have someone like me. You keep willfully replaying. You don't have to be for gay kids.


I think that's really that's very relatable because there does come a point, like you said, when you started dressing like I know when I stand up for the first time, it's like everything just you're like, oh, I'm in control of how people of how I feel about what people are saying about me. And I think especially gay kids, they all have this, like, moment where they're like they find something, whatever it is, dance, whatever, whatever gay thing they like.


And then it's like they're like, this is my thing. Basket weaving. They're like this now. I'm in control of this thing. That's not that bad anymore.


Yeah. I mean, drag, drag and growing up playing guitar and writing music, I just think I had a lot of healthy outlets. Yeah. So like nothing's pent up, nothing's unresolved and my abuser died of alcoholism.


So a lot of that is just. So you won. You won. Yes.


Like I think if he was still alive out there it would be like harder. But this person's like in a box in the ground somewhere.


And so I don't really think of any of it that is such like, I need to hear this. This is like this is blowing my mind because I'm like, oh, my thing is you have to unpack everything. You have to like always like admit what's broken about.


It's just like sometimes you just got to like people just have to die. That's the trick, to kill people. People die.


You put them in the ground, you're like, oh yeah, I grew a time capsule that does this to whole like we'll be talking to drop some, like, horrible, tragic thing that happened in this child.


And I'm like, why wasn't that your opener? Right. I think how is that not your Instagram bio?


And once you realize, why don't you want to lead with your trauma? Trauma is like the least unique thing about you. Everybody has something. Yeah.


So once you're like, that's not even worth talking about. I mean, my name Trixi obviously came from what my stepdad used to call me. And so that gets brought up a lot in like interviews and stuff. But I'm like I don't even think of it that way anyway. That's how over it I am. I don't even think about that until it gets brought up.


In an interview on the radio at eight a.m., you know, by the douche, it's also not helpful to have to for people that are in positions like like like like the public can see them to always be like, I'm sad, I'm depressed.


I had a hard life because you're making people that aren't out of there just relive their own over and over again and be like, are you ready whenever you like, be a walking embodiment of like it does get better.


Yeah, I think that is better attitude and confidence and like, success. I mean, that has nothing to do with your trauma. It has to do with what you did after that.


Is there ever a time where you're like, holy shit, I did it? No. I mean, I always try to. This is like kind of dumb, but I think everybody should do it. I was thinking this today. Every time I get on stage or every time I get in drag, I always think this could be the last time. And it really helps you be there for the right reason, because, like, this could be the last time, not because you die, I guess because you die, but also like work reasons.


This this is fleeting. I'm always like, this could be the last war. This could be the last album. This could be the last TV show, always could the last podcast. Because it's always like if this is the last time you do this, look how you want to look and say what you think you want to say.


And because you enjoy things when they're happening, I never think being like famous is going to last forever. I never think being financially secure is going to last forever. I save everything I don't spend on anything. Two nights ago, we had a sell out for Red Scare. In six minutes, I walked to the I walked to the 7-Eleven and bought two pieces of pizza for two dollars, 19 cents. And I was like, this is this is we're doing this.


So I was just thinking, I keep one eye on the door, not because I think it's all going to fall apart, but because if and when it does, I might get called my pants down. I'm going to be like I made the most of it. I saved the money from it. I loved it while I did it. And I'm not bitter that it's over because I did the shit out of it. What was happening to me.


And that's the tea on that business, don't you think I get it while you're doing it.


One hundred members or something.


You're like, Yeah, I did it all and I'm at the apex of my career still. I've done it all. I would like to reach a point where I've done it all and then I can go like do drag part time like not gig all the time. Right, right. Right.


Yeah. She has a very similar speech on this. I actually send it to you, Joan, where she has that. They're interviewing her and she's like, nothing is promised you, especially not in this business. She's like she like you better enjoy every minute of it. I have to say to my favorite, I watch it sometimes.


We're not all uppity. Like, you know, you guys some of us are just really thankful.


You know, the other thing is this sounds dumb.


I'm training for training for a marathon, but I don't talk about it.


What are you doing? I don't talk about it into microphone to be like day twenty five. This one really taught me something like, you know, I'm not that bright watches.


Britney runs a marathon one time. Right. That's literally what I don't want to be. I have friends who have marathon accounts for their Instagram and I'm like, oh, nobody cares you.


And it's not my dad. He's crippled. I'm like sweating. I'm dying in the little peloton, trainers in my ear. And this one girl always says it's a privilege to move this way. It's a privilege to even be able to be tired running right now. Yeah, hell yeah.


And career wise, it's a privilege to have something to do, a microphone to talk to in an unfinished home.


It's a privilege to have this problem. It's a privilege to have asthma from renovation's.


That's exactly. Oh that is my one hundred.


It's like and wish to have a leather jacket to pull the lining out of to fit you know. Exactly. It sounds dumb but it's called meaning making. And it's the thing you it comes very naturally to you and and I've been very trepidations to bring it up on this podcast because we have similar come from a similar thing and all the fans will understand that.


But it's, I think, my trauma on a daily basis.


I wouldn't change anything about the journey, like, dude, thank you.


I look back and I'm like, oh my God. In the end that made me funny. And she hit me harder. Oh, too.


Could have been inworld. I couldn't believe I could've been hosting. I would. Jimmy Fallon.


Comedians and drag queens are so like cut from the same cloth. We're the same. But you're better than us.


You're your trauma but you but you're wrapped up in wrapping trauma. But I'm like lazy you. I'm sloppy. Lazy. Yeah.


Well that's the great thing about being in drag is you get to do this high glamour fantasy and then disappear from all that responsibility.


Well, you make me insecure because I'm like, why would anyone come see me if they go see you?


Why would you heard it here, folks? Why would you burn the Whitney tickets?


Now subscribe to the Bold and the Beautiful podcast and immediately by my book, download all my albums, download Barbara from Twenty Twenty.


It really is a like when I watch you perform, I'm like, why would anyone come watch me and my plaid shirt?


And I do that. I ask you that every tour while you were in that shirt. So not I think it's a little desperate. Sometimes I'm up there and I'm in a wig and makeup and costumes with the guitar, with the band and then doing stand up. And then there's videos I like. How bad do you want people like you?


Can I tell you something has come down there and I'm going to say this like this is this is why I'm comedians think I'm cool or whatever. People think I'm mainstream or corny or come for me or think I'm whatever, like want too much or whatever. Ugly, ugly.


Interrupter Welby's, I interrupted you to tell you you're an interrupter.


I want people to like me. I'm going to say it. I want this audience to have the best night of their life. I want you to love me.


No one who stands on a stage or gets in front of a camera is like hope. They hate me. You know what I've done for maybe Ann Coulter. And so but there is this little, like, cool kid. Like, I don't fucking I'm not I'm fucking Instagram. And I'm like, no, I want you to like me. I want you to think I'm funny. You don't like that joke.


They're chicken sales. Who are they? Who's called. It's not on their what's their names.


Something you can't them they're done before this kind of embarrassing. It was at a show and it was I, I don't know why I knew that my dressing room was like one door away from the lobby door. And I was like after the show I. Standing there in a wig and I'm listening, I mean, the band are standing there and I can hear them going down an exit like stairs and they're all talking and it's like, I know we're not supposed to care, but hearing people go down some stairs being like that was that was way.


But I thought it would be or like that was so funny or like, I can't look how good that was or whatever. It's like I know I shouldn't care about that, but why would I not care about that? Yeah, you should. I don't read the comments. I don't post on Instagram and Twitter and then I close the apps. I don't spend time on the apps at all. I don't refresh the timeline. Don't care YouTube, don't read the comments.


I don't get any, like, fan websites. It's not my business. What people think about it is our job is to put the thing out there and that is it. Well, I just covered video games last year, that legendary song. It's like, well, I mean, we're covering a with every song. I mean, people are going to hate listen to it. They're going to go like, let's see what this fucking idiot is doing with this iconic song.


And I was like, well, at least take it there. Listen, even if they're hate listening, they still want to tune in to see if they hate it.


I would like to know if it's very possible to cover Natasha Bedingfield Unwritten I.


Oh, that is a perfect song.


Yeah. Oh my God. Is this the reveal. Yeah.


We just brought our friend Natasha over. Got my name.


Did you just hear me say that it was a perfect song. You guys can't you guys can't see this. But Natasha. Very well. Just watching you, Natasha.


What's up girl. And the rest is still unwritten. Hello. Hello.


You are fabulous. You're amazing. And when he told me you were coming on and I, I was just like sending a video clip of a video clip, I was like like just like bombarding you with amazing clips of you.


Oh, my God. Like, I watched one thing where you just the first off, you like I'm a legend. I can't stop.


I was like, yes, yeah. Confidence.


Yeah. This British girl needs a bit of that of that kind of we were just we like self-deprecating.


We were just talking about British audiences.


They're down for the ride no matter how dark or how self-deprecating. They're just like, yeah, let's laugh at it.


So I have this dream that you two are going to write a song together.


Well, I'm like the president. I also think I also have a sneaking suspicion that comedians and comedy writers are very good.


Music writers, which I confirmed that, yes, texting you and saying, I think you'll be an amazing writer songwriter and I agree.


I also got that message. Thank you. I agree. What did you say? I also got the same message from you. Thank you so much.


I think I think joke creating a song, Barry, because you're trying to say something universal in a way that hasn't been said. You don't mean those things. Yes. Yeah. Yes.


And it's also something that gets stuck in your head that you say a lot. That's a good idea that like this is the thing. This is a refrain.


Yes. Things that Dolly Parton does. She by her own jokes because she's an amazing comedian, like in between all of her songs. She's incredibly funny.


Yeah, well, that's also years and years of and this is why I defended Lana Del Rey so hard. If you guys want to do a deep dive on my MySpace defense of Lana Del Rey, the first time she did SNL, remember how dragged worse.


And I was I was during that time, I was concurrently being dragged and I thought we were like having this like soul mate experience where we were both being dragged at the same time publicly, like two women because she had no live experience.


Yeah, it was her first show.


So when you were Dolly Parton, you have been clubs in Nashville, like, you know, how to deal with hecklers and jokes and this and the lighting and the this and that, you know, and so she went on and she had no live presence.


It happens. And everybody, you know, dragged her for it.


I've been to several streamy awards, which is like the YouTube awards and Facebook YouTube musicians. And it's always like, oh, you you perform in front of a camera for a living, not in front of people. Yes, that's obvious.


Do you ever have a song that's like hasn't worked and you don't know why or like.


No, not everything. She's done well. And I have I have as a comedian, like there's like a joke.


You always try to make work and you couldn't make it work and you're not sure why. And you're like, I like, you know, like I'm just so curious.


Like with songwriters like are there's those songs where you're like it's on a Post-it note somewhere. It's in a journal somewhere. And you just like could never make it cry.


I did try and do a comedy song which is called I Want to Have You Babies, which is like I regret. I was banned from the radio. I was banned from radio too, because they were just like she wants all our girls to have babies like like they took it so literally. And I was like, it was totally a joke song.


If people go out and get pregnant because of that song, which isn't bad, yeah, it's not bad. But the men were terrified of me and I didn't get a date for years afterwards because the men were like bunny boiler, bunny boiler. Oh I want to have your babies get serious like crazy.


I want to have your babies. I see them springing up like daisies and it was all about me.


I'm going to button my lips so the truth don't slip.


And so it's all about keeping it like back like in a date, like you don't really tell them you're actually on a date trying to find the father. That's clever, but you hide it back. But I made a mistake of actually telling people what women are thinking and they didn't like that.


I love that as musicians. What's more important to you guys, the lyrics or the instrumentals? I mean, I'm sure they're all important in the end. But like what what you have to have first, because I know when I listen to music, I'm all about the lyrics. That's the first thing I want to hear, even though there's music playing in the background. Interesting.


I like listening songs in different languages, so I don't have to lyrics like I love listening to find songs on Spotify like the French or the love like folk.


Well, it's like listening to stand. No, it's OK. It's OK.


If I listen to stand up I'm like, OK, he did ok. All right, all right. They have a meter. It's work.


It feels like work when I hear lyrics and I never want to like I it's hard because stand up because I never want to be influenced by accident by somebody either. So yeah it's hard because it's like I never want to be like it's a tricky thing.


But I would say and I know that I want to have a certain rhythm and like and like when you're writing music because like I always like you, I feel like are such a lyricist, like you have like really great lyrics.


I mean, it's a lot like writing jokes. Yeah. Because it's like how do you say this in a way that people will go. That's exactly what it's like, but they've never thought of it that way. It has to be very surgical. Yeah.


You put it in in the way in an elegant way, in seven words that explain my life experience.


Right. Words like I love like Fountains of Wayne, like Adam Schlesinger, like I think he was like the master of pulling a rhyme that you would have never thought of. That's like, oh, my God, that's exactly what it is. Yeah.


Like when someone does a rhyme, it's just like like when they get rhyme, like Eminem does that a lot. And it's just, oh, Nicki Minaj hilarious.


And it's like a joke, the ultimate compliment from comedians when someone goes, that's a really good joke. Yeah. Well, yeah. And with lyrics too you'll go like, oh bitch. That is a really good lyric.


Yeah. It's jealousy, not a laugh. Yes it is.


I wish I thought of that because there's the four gather together and forever and there's the this and this and it's like yeah that's like white noise at this point with the way people were in certain ways. Yeah. So like a good I think if you have a good concept then the song kind of writes itself. Right.


When I do standup I start with the thing I think is fun. And then I start like hammering out, so it's like last was like I had the robot and I was like, I had what, one good sex robot joke? And then I challenge myself to go, like, I need to write two pages of these and then I start building out a chunk and. Interesting. Yeah, it's sort of maybe how music is written. So I'll go like I know I want to do something on sex robots.


I won't even have the joke yet because like for me, I go for areas first.


So like sex robots, sex robots, I want to own sex robots.


Jim saying because if I do one joke about sex robots, one joke about the it's like needs to be a chunk for it to be actually put in the show.


Milkha Yeah. And no one can steal your shit if you have the monopoly on it. Jim saying so it's like I want to show up and do ten minutes of sex robot jokes. Everyone's like, Whitney's got that one and you're going to stay away from that one.


Did someone go you look like a sex robot and that's how. Yeah. I mean, the robots have more emotional range in this one. This is for her time working as a sex robot.


And Marshall Fields, she's now yours. If somebody. When is drag.




Fembot and I and I'll do like an air, like a theme and then song title. It is a good song title.


Well, Robin does it. Robin, I've got some news also about Robin. Yeah. Yeah.


She's you know, no one knows for her up and coming. She's great. And so I so I'll do a theme and then stick and then I'll write down words.


Every word that is associated with robot, you know, like kid robot.


Small wonder like I'll just write down every word, like I have a document of it and then start digging it and then go from every angle and then I'll go into chat rooms of people that have it, like I have like a whole kind of process now of how I do it.


German-born dancing. I my own came out. It was a cultural reset her in that blue sweater. Just roll. Oh my God. That whole album. It's one take five times.


I wrote around the iMac floors that played like giving it to mold. You're giving us gold on how to become comedians.


Oh yeah. No we just everybody at home follow this. I don't I mean it's not like I say, if there's ever if you ever heard of this, it's a lot of those I invented this thing.


Refer to them later and in order sometimes I put numbers down, sometimes small dogs patented.


Can I tell you something with bullet points. I'm sorry. Can I see any of your fucking jokes written down on something on my phone? Most comedians do not write it down.


I will write it down for like a year. And then at the end of the year, with all the jokes down that I wrote and I put them on the wall and index cards that I'm tracking a murderer, a murder board, and then I take all the looks I'm inspired by.


And I put wigs and costumes on the board like a murderer. And then there's all the songs I wrote that year and I put them on the wall like a murderer.


Can you help us make alter egos? Oh, my alter ego is a great song title. Alter ego. Alter ego. Oh, we do. You write down song title. Yeah.


So then it's the same, it's the same song titles. Alter ego. What makes you think, what makes you think of an alter these suicide notes.


No I just write them. You just write it down. Yeah. I have a suicide note.


You're like my phone notes are very sorry. Everyone starts you. Goodbye. Thank you for millennial. So no it's not your fault. Not a lot to live for. I swear.


It's when he's like, OK, here's one of my jokes I wrote, ok, I'm sorry to everyone and goodbye. Oh that's the wrong note anyway. Next one. So I waited so long.


The power of attorney and I need to buy condoms.


Oh sorry. Different lists. Yeah. I'll be writing a song.


Yes. My theory on songwriting because I think sometimes I can say things in a way that are kind of like elegant and profound and sometimes I do and I'm like, oh, I don't know what that was. I don't know where that goes. And it's not a tweet and it's not a joke.


But it's like she said, somebody saw that at Cracker Barrel, put it on a piece of wood like it's a pillow.


Is this something we put on a pillow? It's a quote.


Is it a fortune cookie or like the metaphor is usually what starts it, right? Yeah. It's something that's plain that gets thrown out all the time.


And you're like, well, there's a double meaning there, you know? Well, because I find that when I get in fights with guys, I go, I'm not fighting with you, I'm fighting for you.


That's that's right. That's probably makes the argument worse, doesn't it? I always win, to be fair, like I own this house and you have to lean. You know what is in this? She's in the White House having one way fights, training for the next fight.


She's like she's like she's like, you know what? Your room's not finished yet. And I might not finish it at all. Exactly.


We have a sperm donor on ice noise win because you'll win win like you are win win person. So you always make sure that you both win in a way. Yeah. I'm not saying he wins too. Right. If you win. Yeah, we both lose. So let's make sure that this you know, I'm saying I would be like this for me then you're wrong, right.


I think you're wrong. So I don't fight for me. Pretty sure if you're fighting for me or you're doing wrong. I'm awful. Don't fight for me.


So that's not how you do it, because you two are my two favorite songwriters. I'm just saying in one place. So I'm I'm bombing you just start with titles you don't start with like profound point.


You know, we say it's not just titles, though. That can just be a springboard like like saying she like you said, line like you, like you. That's what starts me. Yes. I think that first line needs to encapsulate the whole song. Like sometimes the whole song needs to be already there in the first line.


Yeah. Like when I wrote Moving Parts it was like I didn't think people would it would become such like a thing that people listen to. But I was like, oh, the the most parts of your life that are the most like out of your control, that are moving around are the parts that them all to me, the most moving like that to change your life the most. So I was like, oh, there's a metaphor, I like it.


And then I went into it. That was like an instance where you start with the metaphor, but then like you put on the dress again, that was just that's the first line, because that's what I was I was in a theater. I had to get in drag and I didn't feel like it. And that's it. And there's like not deeper intellect about wanting to work.


I wrote a song called I Breathe Easily and I actually literally bruises. I actually I'm very pale skin.


And I had just fallen down the stairs all the time, like every evening to the studio. I'd have another Brison. I'd be like you really. I was like, I bruise easily.


And they were like, they're like, are you OK? You're like, is everything OK at home? Totally. And I mentioned it in an interview. And then like, she's got a condition where she I'm like, no, it's just cold being very, very white.


But Hollywood needed you to have a good day like she is broken now. She's in a cast. Are you OK? I was just thinking about this recently. Obviously, there's the Celine Dion's of the World and people who are just like the Michael Phelps of singing. Right, like natural. But I think so much of singing is just intention. It's almost like acting. So if you sing it like you mean it, that's always going to be more impactful than technique.


Yeah, I have a question for the group. What are your favorite music videos? You can pick one.


Oh, I like I, I want to start an award show of best videos and I want to start a business about this. It's called MTV Best Music Video Ever. It's called MTV Music Video. Is that what you're doing? Yeah. What's your favorite?


Your favorite. You could watch one forever. OK, you start to work on Psychon. I like about it.


Like son, that is a cool black hole. Sun did Jerry Kasauli direct that or.


That's what all the smiling people why you're so funny now. So you start.


OK, so mine is black both on top about.


He had a black hole on the black hole just like oh I think that probably everything by Michael Jackson.


So how do you love that. But then I have seen Lady Gaga. I really did actually revive the whole music video. I love two girls.


One cup. Oh my God. That one. That brings me joy the most probably I the love shack video is so fun. Oh, it's so it's so fun.


You know what came to my head immediately to ask this question? You remember the band dream picking petals off a flower trying to get you? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I love that movie video. Those girls and those a little short. They're driving that jeep. Yes. Cannonball, cannonball. Family cannonball.


Nope. The Breeders I like Cannibal by Miley Cannonball hit me like a cat, but it's a wrecking ball.


I have to talk to our true fan. No, I'm getting kind of no other hit that party in the UK. Her brother party. It actually there was a party in the USSR.


I love to bring me to life by Evanescence growing up. Yeah, that's what that. Did you guys remember the Johnny Cash hurt video. Yeah. That one is to play that and then Johnny Cash, you see him on a loop in Nashville.


Moving song. We're writing a song, we're on track writing the song and what what let's make them a lot of money right now and make a song.


So that's how all songs start on the spot on a podcast, Supersaurus. That's how Dolly wrote I will. This is Jolene was written in this exact scenario in a bank.


So I thought, let's make money. Yeah, yeah.


It's always taxpayers money and always someone telling me we're doing it now and there is no instruments.


I want to make a show about this. You go, can you be box.


You have box like. Very good.


Yeah, I have a deviated septum. I can't pick that much air in the best part. Can't be box. I can barely breathe. Good. The best part is going you. What do you want me to bring my guitar. Because I wanted to be a surprise. That's the more important part of writing a song. Instruments, the element of surprise, I think you bring Michael Jackson did Thriller with instruments. Know, I really want to learn how to write a song.


You know, I'm saying like, I'm really learning how to write jokes because I want to start writing jokes in a different way.


We really do need to we're going to calm down the instruments to write a song, OK? I wouldn't know that.


But all good songs right now and me using the only industry professional who's seasoned with no instruments involved. OK, so if we just start singing. Well, I think I think you could just keep up. I've seen a lot of. That's how it works.


OK, my plan. So I thought we were going to write a song together.


Well, let's do our next game and we'll just go through perfume's together, OK? Maybe we'll come up with more song ideas. Maybe we'll get inspired. I'm learning so much about Jane because I'm a very intense. That's where my sharpeners go.


I love the. You can have it.


Well, in that case, I also like this brush.


Everyone goes home with everything on the table. But yeah I, I am so over thinking calculated about stuff and I'm really working.


I hate being thinking, calculate it all through college.


I was thinking about instrument but here she thought, she thought your body was the instrument. You're so high maintenance we can make noise of some of this stuff that's you know what you're a musician like make it work.


Now remember when you were in Stomp all those years, I still remember your years of Blue Man Group.


I wrote that I dated Blue Man.


You did that.


But let's just let's just try. There was a man and her father was a blue man. Oh, yeah.


I could see it in the blue man. Wait, sorry. That was blackface anyway. Oh, he's at the Capitol.


We're reporting live from the Capitol. From the Capitol. It's a mess that Queens, Pelosi's office.


She too has haphazardly stapled curtains, unfinished wall.


What do you know that we had this done? What do you think? It's all Dinham people are going to love it. I'm like, really? We're on camera. Just we're like, oh no, no. No one had any clue.


The whole room is done exactly what we thought it'd be like a cool country.


Western. Do you love to be like I'm from Virginia. We thought it'd be a whole thing.


I do think that song does start with a conversation or like a subject.


So I think this is one of my favorites. She's not gonna let it go. She's like, we can do it.


I think this the thing that you can I think it's just more like a brainstorm session and then we'd have to go into the studio and actually get beat. You just like write stuff down.


Yeah, I want to costumer. I can't work. You need to be in a full costume. Oh, I do. When you record do you go in and hair and makeup. No, no.


I do have her makeup I like but I don't shave my head. But do you get fancy to go record or do the real change gulabo.


I find this doesn't look like I did a lot. It's like the no makeup makeup looks right. It still takes a while. Sure. But like.


No wait. Do you think we're asking you right now if you're wearing makeup. No, no not now. We know. No I'm saying. But what is the part of the ritual of going into record? Do you need. Because you look ugly. I think it's shit that you have to go very well. No, no, no. That's not what. I don't need it. I don't I'm not either. I mean, Latasha, we're not we're not in makeup.


And you to make a brave we just woke up, like when you go to the studio to work that day, do do you do comfortable?


Do you do hair and makeup? What do you do. I think I, I like something that's inspiring, like outfit wise. It has to be comfortable that you can sit down on the floor and just like feel and move. But I need to look, I need to feel like you look.


Yeah. Look hot. Totally.


I recently recorded a song in drag and I never recorded in drag before it. It's so fun. Yes. It changed the delivery. It changed everything. Yeah. You know, normally it's I get to do it a few times and you're like, OK, now I got it. But when you feel like you look great you start that first. Take like we're getting it. Yes we got it. Yeah. It's weird how the makeup makes you feel like we're doing this perfectly the first time you do your own makeup on the road.


Yeah. Yeah, I love it. You love it. Love it. Yeah. And I'm really good at doing makeup in a moving vehicle. Really. That's a good talent.


You think of that and you do that. Oh yeah. Yeah. You get stuck in the car doing something like that. Yeah. Yeah. On the table.


I do like I don't know I did the big mirror and then the big table and I find like I try not to sit too close or I get to micromanage. Yeah. Like five feet away. It looks fine from there.


It's probably my first special. I did my own makeup and I did wear this. She had on show Orckit from back. Oh I love that color. What was it. Show show orchid. That's what I wore. And like a metallic pink.


You love it unless it's the only color you're allowed to wear with shame.


And I made a joke about it. I so regret it. I was so ashamed of the makeup. Yes.


When I came out here. You have it done it, Lancôme. No, I did it.


No, my first special was my was a local. Makeup artist in D.C., I had no idea what I was really doing, I was like twenty six and I was so apologetic about my femininity as a comedian, a female comic, I had to neuter myself so much.


It's interesting because it's like I look at the hyper femininity thing and I have to hyper masculinist myself in order to not have the girlfriends in the audience think their boyfriends want to fuck because everyone's on, you know, what your audience is there to see. And these are people on dates. And I've noticed that you're doing all the work already.


You're the date is you being funny for them. But there's people in the audience. There are 24 years old who are the boyfriend, just cheated on them. And then there's a girl who's cute on stage who's like, why are you laughing at her? I I've seen it so many times. A couple gets up, starts fighting, gets up, go fight in the parking lot.


I've watched it happen so many fucking times that I dress for the women in the audience to feel comfortable that I'm not going to fuck your husband.


I've seen that's how I dress that to in corporate shows like all the and it's all businessmen and I'm like, I'm kind of being sexy. And then I'm like, oh, hold on. They don't look please and the women don't look please.


And the men are kind of like like we're not looking but looking way. We're in a small room. So I just I completely changed my approach and I was like, hey, I like sang love like this and talked about like like when you first fell in love. And let's have couples dance like dance with you. I think I actually a wedding deejay. Yeah. I asked like I asked a guy to dance with me and then I realized that was totally wrong and I brought his wife in as well and like, well I dress for the man and they just can't take it.


I'm like the inverse of you.


So what I started, I was like, I have to look like a short, ugly, irrelevant whore, mean whore.


I like to write jokes and tell jokes that someone can go tell their friend the next day at work. So I'm going to give you a gift. That means that you get to go be funny now, like the merchandise to make up whatever it is. You get to go to work tomorrow and you get to go. I saw when you call me last night and she told this joke and then you get to be the comedian at work.


Oh, I love that because you get to play it.


You know, I never thought about comedy like that. I always think I want to be the person that you look at your friend and be like, we thought that, but didn't say like that's what I want to do for someone.


I always like to know when you leave this performance, you're going to go, I just saw so-and-so and she said this thing that was so funny. And then you get to go kill with your friends.


But when he felt like also like so conscious of like making sure everybody else feels like really like good when they're in her space that like we had we had those guests over here and they were telling you about editing wise and you were like, oh my God. Yeah. Tell me more about editing. No, no.


Well, you have to contextualize that a little.


It was Steven Spielberg. It was it was it was the kids from Cheer. And like, when you have this TV show and they're like, so editing what they do in editing is they can like take a scene and they can move it. So it looks like you're saying that's different. And Whitney was crushed there. I know what he was feeling like. She was like, really? That is. And and so. And so you didn't really say that then?


That was later. And they put it back in to enter into someone else's reality. And they were like, yes, when you're so crazy, of course, like, do you think I could be on the TV?


I saw. So it is a tricky thing. It's like when someone comes up to you, I try to go with someone. I'm like, what do you need from me?


Like, I always want to give you what you need, you know, because to me, the people that listen to our shows that are things like they're our boss, we work for you, you know, and so I go, you're walking up to me. I see this person walking up to me shaking. And I'm like, this person needs something from me. I just want to deliver. I want to deliver on the promise. You are the reason that I get to do what I love.


And they get this close to her and she goes, I don't read the comments. No. That's why meet and greets are extremely high pressure because you have to live up to whatever they have decided you are. Yes, it's harder than performing. I think being group is you could have a just OK show and if you were nice enough at the meet and greet their fan for life.


But but but. But if you weren't nice enough to meet and greet and your show was incredible, they don't really.


But there's also like there's no way to and like you've seen me and meet and greets, you're really good at it.


This is how we met because it's like a way to move, because you have to move people along in a way that's not rejecting them. And people like my dog. Like me camera. I know.


Yeah. Because it's like people are like I, you know, didn't commit suicide because of you and you're like love. You're like self-imposed, self-imposed, self-imposed Paris filter thing.


If you do Daboll use the general like tag me by remerge, you know, so it's like it's this delicate, weird balance where you really have to get you in a bit of photo.


I just do what I really respect. Thank you, Emily. Whitney, is that you you aim high and you let your audience be very it like you just you expect them to be.




You don't catch up. Yeah. And I love it like you, you, you, you attract always play to the top of your intelligence. Yeah. It's really awesome. I love it. I love that about you because a lot of people are the lowest common denominator and the more compliments they see, you're so right.


Right. I remember watching Whitney on TV and I was like, well she kind of talk strange and I talk weird, so I could do that. It was just so interesting, like she was the person I was like, you can just sound like whatever and be on stage. And it sounds really weird, but like that annoying. But like, I have a lisp and you're the only thing I could think of that, you know, have a list.


But you hold your S's. Yeah.


Like only on stage, only doing comedy. And I remember seeing I remember I was like 12 or 13 that you were on Chelsea lately talking and doing a joke. And I remember seeing that being like that sounds like me.


I remember it like clicked in my head. Like I could do that. I could do I could totally do whatever I want on stage.


And that was it was like such a small thing, but it like resonated. It's not that you understand me like that. I remember seeing you being like as a model.


I could do comedy, too. Yeah. I was at the same department store. I'm obsessed with fragrances, OK, obsessed with olfactory glands and how when we smell something it takes us back.


Yeah. To right where we fucking were. And I encourage everybody that is like working on their script or their book or their song or their whatever. Your hustle is to listen to music you listen to when you were 15, listen to a song you have heard and it makes people feel things.


I wish there was a camera that could capture fragrance, like when I'm like when I'm like sometimes I'm in a place and I'm catching the picture and you just won't be able to. You won't.


How do you remember that smell like at the beach smell or something?


It's there's no word that describes it. There's no way I can explain this to you.


That's why I like the cologne you wore when you were dating one person. It makes you think of them or their cologne, like that kind of thing.


Always. And it can ruin a cologne.


Yeah, but I think of obsessed with when you smell a perfume that you wore when you were in high school and all your shit comes back, you know, this is my news for my next special I'm smelling and I'm listening to things that I haven't smelled or listened to in twenty years to try to, like, kick up old memories that, like you're smelling like to look like debt.


So that's your taste. Your head think it's called I smell tampons. You send out a bill. Oh, my God.


I'm smelling like not the sinus infection, all the smelling and in just sort of like what it does to our brains and makeup.


Noxzema makeup, certain makeup products like smells like CoverGirl clean liquid makeup is like high school or something.


Max Studio Fix Max Studio. Philip Glass on that. Allnut No hairspray. Yes. The Allnut Hairspray is like your mom or your grandma or something. So I want to see if you can. Do you get migraines. No. OK, I want to see no trauma over here.


I said I'm no trauma and I said about ten miles yesterday, hit me with the small machine.


Are you not listening to my interview?


I want to do like can you guess the smell? Yes. We all we both we both bought fragrances.


OK, do you guys think that I lived as a squirt girl in a Neiman Marcus or something because I lived it. I worked at a Macy's in the Midwest. It was like, go ahead and try the new Vince Camuto.


You get a fake ice cream on Friday.


I think Friday I bought a pink Fredi Pink for well, we were just going to talk about them, but now we've turned it into a sniffing game.


What do we think? It is beautiful. It makes me think of I that's kind of a cop out. But the next thing, the department store, it smells like white diamonds, right?


I know. Elizabeth Arden sunflowers. Oh, yeah. This was a lot more time. This was truly, I want to say, ten years of my life.


That smells good. I like that. Elizabeth Arden. Sunflowers like when I see old lady, but it's maternal in a way.


I mean, it's like you could give birth, but you're not ready.


So this huge bottle is who is back in the day you got she said, I'm using this fifteen years when perfume bottles better they were the same bottle.


You just cap it, you know, like I bought it fifteen years ago.


I was curious.


It's like a tic tac like it's like this because like the number one selling fragrance in the world, it does. It does look like a shot it whiskey.


I like it. I probably wouldn't wear it but very floral that that took that was my entire teenage I've been dry humped to the Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers.


Correct. As a teenager. As a teenager.


But what if she had a tight perm. Oh a string of pearls. The jellies. She had the lip smackers. First of all, it's like big shoulder pads.


She was in the meeting for this bottle design and they were like, we don't care. One hundred percent. This is nothing. They were like they were like, why do you have a lid? Put it on.


Can I tell you something? This black, when you when you bought something, you got the product. Look how much product is in. That is a shampoo bottle.


That tremendous amount of product that is so much Lysol. That is more like, what, three memories did you for? I tell you something, covid stops literally. I wore this all through high school and none of it is gone. How many times is in there? Every day spending so much time at the department store, I could have had more chances to wear it. But it was a department store, so I didn't have to use my own.


This is the original bottle I bought. I've been here for thirty years and this is how far I've gotten. So it's pretty you. For memories. There you go, but this is like this is back no, I'm going to dig it out of storage. I ordered it because I was like my new special. I want to remember things that I have blacked out. And perfume is the key to unlocking memory or something when you smell.


Yes, I was molested as a child and. No, but I truly were.


Yes. I don't think it's ever been brought up all the time.


I'm making fun of her. Oh. I was like really suffered. I'm so sorry, you guys. My life is hard, but when you smell you go like, oh fuck.


And you start thinking about jokes and lyrics and ideas and like jogs your memory.


Sunflower, you can write a song about the FRAGO Elizabeth Arden Sunflower. Yeah.


And if you're using that bottle for inspiration, it had to be a lot like this. Just do the bare minimum. Bare minimum. That's what I got out of that bottle. And I think there's something very virginal.


Ablow, about this bottle. I think it's kind of gangster. OK, so here's the next smell. Ready?


Many of them are really nice. This is called the most seductive fragrance in the world. I like that. It smells yummy. Actually, you can use this in the future.


Yeah. It's almost kind of like you totally know it. We're not supposed to say what it smells like.


It makes us think of. Right. What is it? No, no rules to this game.


It's buttery. What? It's like a rum. Do you know it. It's like a butterscotch. You know it. It makes me think of some are a lot like girls. I went to high school with like spaghetti straps and like tans and laying out by the pool.


It's Brazilian crushed my soul. DeGennaro La Bamba. It is the it's eight dollars.


It's called the most seductive scent on the bottle. It says you can spray your lingerie with it. It smells pretty. Yeah it does. It smells very like Angostura.


That was this hard to find like this. Now is this a forum. Yeah. And you know, people love on podcast things they can't see or experience.


And she's like, this is actually nice that no one's describing the frequency, that they're just like, what is it?


No, I just it smells clean, but also kind of tropical.


But now.


Oh, chance. Oh, that's right. We do them. But I also like candy.


Yum yum. Permaculture quality different when you were in drag. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.


I got out of drag. I wear like the Aveda mens like just smells like Aveda.


Do you like florals though. She said in drag. Yeah. Like really hyper femininity.


That floor floral fruity orgasm but out of drag I wear like something that smells like, like replica makes that one that's like a fireplace.


What we were about to bring. Yeah. I love red because I love. Yeah it's amazing. Like a marshmallow when I wear it.


So the last thing we're going to do. Yeah. Barbie's here. Yeah. We got lots of Barbie for you to talk us through review take home.


Wow. OK, let's talk about it because we do want to know you. I don't have a Barbie, I have your final figure and my mom stole seats. An honor.


I have a binder. We love that. I just like to do a little review. But why you don't have a Barbie. And if you did, what would the what would they be?


Well, you never know what's in the kitchen, what's happening. You never know what's coming down the pipe. But that's actually really nice to me. And they send me all there. Whenever something new comes out, they send it to me and they're not ever trying to sue me. I actually last year got to sit down with all the designers at Babi and give a presentation about, like, my process, which was so surreal because I was like I always thought this call would be with legal, so, you know, but it was that's so, you know, that's a real laugh.


I thought it was like, oh, God, they reaching out, this is going to be bad.


And they were really nice about it because they were like, we have a whole new life. You. Yeah, it was nice. It was really nice. I love Barbie. I have a crazy, crazy collection. If you guys ever come over, we're hundreds and hundreds.


I love that. I used to be it when I was when I would go to McDonald's. I would like beg for the girl toy because I wanted that little Barbie with that sculpted plastic hair chic.


Yeah, but I, I have a very adversarial relationship with Barbie. Did you have to tell me about it.


So I think we need this is the let the healing begin.


You had a bad one. That's why I wanted dead. Barbie. Barbie. They had no qualms about it.


I, I did not have Barbies growing up. There was there was like a microwave barbie moment where we would put them in the microwave. Oh, baby.


That's why it didn't happen. So you were like she's like, I didn't have Barbie. It's just it's great looks in a modeling career. Yeah. No, I, I like I didn't have Barbies. We had my little ponies in Rainbow Brights and everyone else had Barbies. And I don't know why we didn't get them, maybe because we kept putting them in the microwave side.


Answers very important.


Oh we had Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony and I would like to work on my relationship with Barbies.


Dancers were every little boy's dream. To just take off baskets to leave is very pro women. Yeah. And if you think of every Barbie is like a time capsule of what women did in war in that time. They're very cool because that always is what women were wearing, what their jobs were at that time. Yes, the hair and the makeup was history. It's actually like sculptures.


Well, I watch a lot of your videos and they are like I never even felt like the process of like, you know, like the faces and the sculpting.


I'm like, whoa, like idea. Before Barbie, women were only given dolls that were babies, women were only allowed to imagine to be moms. So then you have this doll that's sexy with boobs, with no man or woman on her own job, her own car. It was the first time women were like, I can be things.


And it also didn't you say that for a long time? Barbie didn't look straight ahead.


Yeah, Barbies used to look always to the side like a very long and kind of like Betty Boop never looked straight ahead like this thing they do with female figures because she was so interesting.


So then like nineteen seventy one happens like Gloria Steinem, women's lib begins and then Malibu Barbie comes out and she's looking straight ahead because it's like I'm here.


But yeah, you had such a good idea. And then I went to this rabbit hole like what other female like figures didn't look straight ahead. It was like so many. Yeah.


It's pretty crazy because it's like women were allowed to have curves, but like not look right at any one.


Like sexy baby who can't look at these curves belong to someone else who will come take them. But we brought a bunch of Barbies that are I mean, they're not like they're not as fancy shrubberies, but they're Barbie who want you to tell us, like, what do you think about how is Barbie changed? I was in the Barbie doll, and I personally feel like when I was little Barbie, I was like, there are some awesome stuff here.


And now I'm kind of like, well, I will say Barbie's now sphere's. I actually have a few of these. I have this one one twenty five or super deep skin. Yes. Gorgeous. And I have her 132 in the wheelchair because fashionista line they have Barbies and wheelchairs. Barbies with prosthetics.


Yeah. Barbie that has she's African-American with no pigment her skin.


Are you OK. She's she is. She's interrupting you in noises.


Oh yes. Wheelchair great. I have. Yeah I have her wheelchair. Great. I love that wheelchair. Great. I don't really think that's great.


But every time they come up with something that's like, you know, like she has a ramp, it's a milestone that there is a ramp.


This is so strange because it me and Whitney are both fascinated. You're giving us lessons about about womanhood because we obviously did. I didn't play with Barbies either.


Yeah, we're not allowed to imagine that because you're from new parents.


Made me throw my Barbies out. Why? Because they're too sexual. And I was like, you could have microwave's I was New Zealand, got rid of Barbies and snakes. So I was like, well, you're right.


We are like scissoring with them like we are. Maybe it's the way it's my Bobbi's like have sex with each other. So I was like, OK, I'll have them because sex is bad because I was raised in that kind of well, Barbizon is important because it's like the first opportunity for young girls to, like, be investigative about sex and nudity.


Yeah. Otherwise they have the vocabulary. They can't talk about this stuff. So that's something that you want him to go on the Internet, right?


I used to go to my friend's houses and they had Barbies like a lot more than me, and they were always like a mess. And I'm like, this is not correct. I believe we had to fix all of this. And yeah, they would just be naked. They would be in their house. That would be like what's happening?


I was like, give all these options. And I just laying naked on the floor with crazy hair.


I'm like doing yeah, this is abuse. So I'm just I'm like, if they have like a wheelchair, a prosthetic or like, there's one more. She's African-American, has no pigment. I always get them because I'm like, that's cool. That's a milestone. So think about if you were a little girl in a wheelchair and you saw this.


Come on. I would think about my dad.


I'm a huge and if you are not in a wheelchair and you're five years old, you had this toy and it's really demystified. What's a person in a wheelchair?


And when you see you, you're not going to go, what's that crazy? You know, I really like people in wheelchairs come at their own ramps, right? They just take them before they go every year.


They do like careers. And astronaut was career the year. A few years ago there was a robotics and last year was a judge. And this year. This year was this year. Sorry, twenty twenty. The career the year was presidential team. It was up President Barbie who is black, a deep black skin president.


Yes, running but never a stand up comedian cause women are funny. She's at a podium and then she had a campaign manager.


So somebody who's a voter and basically the dolls came with like the voting is the most important part of the process for a little black girl seeing the president, it's fierce.


I mean, that's amazing. That's what's that.


That's amazing. So they've done a black president, Barbie, but they haven't done a female comedian or drag queen Barbie.


They haven't done it, did an integrity. Barbie, integrity is what I like about the career ones, though, is that it changes every year. So it's like I just think I think a lot of people have trouble with Barbie. I mean, for me, originally, it was like, oh, this was this thing that represented my, like, secret thing I wanted. And I knew not to ask for. Nobody told me no. But I knew, like, don't ask for that.


No, I this is actually really important. And I know I know I tend to get super serious on this podcast, but it's like to me, I had such an adversarial relationship with Barbie because like your thighs can't touch. I had so many fucking eating disorders and so many like body dysmorphic shit. And it was like there's so much. But there was so much weird blame on Barbie about that shit that was Miss.


It was just like blaming the wrong thing. Yes, I think there some scapegoating going on because, OK, let's say this, many women, a significant number of women have eating disorders or body dysmorphia, but a significant number of people have Barbie. That doesn't mean that the Barbie caused this. Of course, Derby's just a popular toy and America makes women feel like their bodies aren't good enough. These are both true. That doesn't mean they're related. But like now, they make Barbies of all different shapes and sizes and colors.


I will say you have to think of what Barbie allowed little girls to imagine.


Yes, please. That's it. And imagine if that had never been invented and little girls now were only given babies to play with babies. Yeah, you can have a job.


You're a mom. You're foreign. You're a mom. Now, in the 80s. Never heard that point before. It's it's so creepy.


I've always thought of the little boy is like for me, like when I'm going on a Barbie. Although growing up I grew up, people weren't wearing clothes and stuff like that. I was the first time I thought like fashion.


People weren't wearing clothes and they were naked. I grew up in a nudist colony, but they weren't like I never said I was like Barbie was like a fantasy that people I didn't ever see. I never saw people like that in my hometown. So I was like, whoa, yeah. There's so many other things to me.


It just represents possibly like when you were a woman, like it's like when you first start to grow your shape, it can be quite embarrassing, especially when you start getting unwanted attention.


Like it's very like a lot of women can say no such thing as unwanted attention.


It's all wanted. Unwanted attention could be wanted. Could that be a bit unwanted attention?


I know that's your show. How could that be if you wanted attention? Anything decent?


Barbie, does Barbie still inspire you as much now as it did when you first started?


Yes, obviously with the looks, the hair, the costumes, I mostly collect 60s, early 70s Barbie. But to me, Barbie represents like America, really, because every one of these dolls comes in the same mold. It's the same machine, same factories, same plastic, a lot of times, same skin color, same shapes. The only thing that makes them different is what their dress does. So because she's dressed as an astronaut, she's an astronaut because he is surfer guy, he's a surfer and in dramatic fashion.


Yeah, he's a guy I just met on Ariah. Yeah.


This is everyone's second boyfriend. Yeah, well, you of college, but like you are what your address does. And to me that's empowering. You can have anything you want because people are just faking it.


Everyone's faking it and you are what you are dressed as really.


It's a drag queen. You dress as a rich, famous, beautiful celebrity and then people believe it because you believe it. It's the same technology of putting on a suit to make more money.


You know, when you step out on stage to perform, it's like you're a pop star partially because you dress like it now. It's like happening.


And as you think you do, actually, you imagine it's a magic trick to Demi Moore.


What's the movie where she does the reverse strip?


It's so cool, G.I. Jane. She's like or she's dancing. She's yes. Striptease. But she puts clothes on. It's like the best strip, right? Yeah. It makes me think of that like this this, you know, and I think that most people, when they get dressed up to go out, it's like you really are taking on another personality that you are getting for such a reason.


You buy an outfit for a first date or a job.


Well, it makes you feel like we know you, obviously, that you pull a lot of inspiration from, like Barbies and country music and Dolly Parton. I think that what do you what do you pull inspiration from the people would be shocked by? Because those are kind of like on the nose, like we got that from the interviews and stuff like do you ever get inspiration from something that people are like really like what it's like.


For example, let me give you time to think, because like from for me, like one of my biggest inspirations is Labrinth. And no one would ever know that movie about the movie that they do this month.


They found out they found out this month that the secret's out, much like lab like David Bowie is like very influential to me.


Marina Abramovic is very influential to me. Walt Disney is very influential to me, like a lot of people that I probably people would think I like prior car.


I mean, like end up like I mean, it has nothing to do with Fannie Mae West.


I mean, Mae West is being inspired by Mae West is why I got into comedy.


You know, interesting.


I guess for me, drag queens don't I get more inspired by people, people like regular like the Angelina of the world or Debbie Harry, like I don't really pay attention to the drag queens are doing.


Yeah. Pay attention to what people who are vibrating somewhere in that like that's not a person, but that's not a drag queen. It's somewhere in the middle.


So, yeah, I heard you talk about Michelle Branch the first time an interview. I was like, that's such. I would never thought that. Michelle, you're like those were like really surprising places to inspiration, especially from them.


That's so like Barbie doll, my favorite my favorite bands are like Fountains of Wayne or like or whatever. And so I don't think I listen to traditionally like did not match with the guy from Weezer on Rhia.


Oh bummer. Which one. Rivers' the one with the sweater reverse. Yeah. It was cool. So hot. Yeah. Yeah. Not a fan.


So much of drag is like having an encyclopedia of your own knowledge. Right.


Yeah I, I purposely pick and not purposely but if I'm interested, if I'm inspired by something that I know other drag queens don't look at Eilen anymore more because they want my Povey to be different.


Yeah. To be like your own. Like the music you. Like, yeah, like I'll pick like I don't really Lip-Sync anymore, but like I don't ever write anything that I can't see myself playing later, like in a show, you know, like I write it for this vessel, not for me to play. So it's like, well, how would Trixie deliver that? And like, is that too snarky or like is that comedic enough? Um, I just try to make it like, I don't know, something I would want to do again, like, is this the last time I'm doing this?


Every time. Every time we were talking about earlier, like every time you get on stage or something, it's like pretend like this is the last time you get this is the last time you put your makeup on the last song you're going to do the let's make it the one.


Yeah. You do that too, because it really could be.


And it also is like a trick you have to do to survive. It's like how women, after they give birth, they oxytocin floods their brains and they feel it feels really good because otherwise women would never give birth again because it's too painful.


So it's like we evolved to have oxytocin flood the brain right after.


Right after, because I know you feel I only did it once and I was like, when you hug your baby, the pain is so intense. So sometimes when they take the baby away straight away, the women don't get to get that flood event.


Oh, is that why they immediately put the baby, like on your chest?


Why would a woman ever have a kid again after that nightmare? And it helps you, Jimmy. It makes you forget you forget it.


That's right. I've read about that. You shake. Apparently you shake. I remember shaking a lot. And that's a..


Trauma like when you shake those Parkinson's so that. Yeah, it's had a baby.


So they make you with Michael J. Fox. They make you. Yeah.


It makes you forget everything because no one would ever have a child again, given what I had the one and I was like, oh.


And so that that's kind of an interesting way to like anesthetize yourself. But yeah, that's what stand to. It's like the last time I'm ever going to do this, because if I envisioned myself doing this forever, I could never do that. I just too painful trying as hard.


It's too painful. I would never go away. You want to try as hard. Yeah, I guess for me too.


I also I think a lot of drag queens start out with like female impersonation and I really never wanted to, I wanted to look like a drag queen, not a woman. Yeah. So I always wanted to look like a thing that you could like, pull a string on the back lot. Didn't want to look real, so I was never interested in looking a certain way, like passable up close, you know, like unillusioned. I want to people like that's a man painted up crazy, you know.


I mean, you're not copying anyone. Right? Like, this is truly my favorite one of my I'm like a I can tell you my favorite jokes of like people like I have like my top ten favorite jokes ever written by a great joke writers.


I'm a dork about that.


But you saying you are trying to get a cab saying I don't know where it is. But the oil painting of Jennifer Coolidge is an oil painting of Jennifer Coolidge. Yeah.


Is such a fucking clean joke. That's such.


Of course it's true. Sometimes the goobers have driven by instating and they cancel and keep going.


Is that an oil painting of Jennifer Cool.


I mean, it is I always say it could be her stunt double. Have you met her?


Have I met her? She was in to. Yes. Oh, right.


I only met this one the best and she was no twice. And she was so nice. She's a drag queen. Sure. She's the best. She's a drag queen. Yes. Correct.


Oh, show everything you want her to be a bit and more.


Yeah, I love her. Is that an oil painting like you.


I think people have to understand how important that is, how smart that is, how indecisive, how specific someone would never see me.


It's like, oh, I get it.


It's just it's a it's math like a lot of these jokes are.


It's math, it's God. It's so fucking funny.


I was there was to look like like in the shows like the third tier, the way nosebleed seats are like, oh my God, this Dakota Fanning and then like upclose, they're like, that's Jenness from The Muppet.


This just flashes with a guitar like you can see a hand. I got my back.


I love the idea of you from far away is Dakota Fanning. Oh, obviously, because that's a family.


You can't tell me anything. I know I look crazy, but like when I'm done getting ready, I'm like, is that Sharon Stone?


Like, are we missing a Sharon Stone? I just believe it. But again, drag you watch it to believe it.


Yeah, because I believe it's like suspension of disbelief. It's like getting drunk has given so many people confidence because it makes you believe even if you're not doing drag, it makes you believe your own story. Like when you get up and you put on a hoodie and some joggers, you're like, I am an athlete. Well, I was watching.


I mean, we're going to talk about the crown, but yeah, I mean, that's all it's like we're putting on a crown and then everyone's, like, socially conditioned to be like, oh, my God, you're right.


It's me. Like, the queen is chosen by God. Okay. But we let's be it's divine.


So that's how we feel about makeup, too. Like whatever whether or not you agree with the society saying women wear makeup. If the tools are there and the world responds to a certain way, you might as well use them. You may not agree with the fact that the world thinks women should be makeup all the time.


That's a whole nother conversation. But if putting mascara and concealer on does get you the job and you notice you will do it. Absolutely.


I don't know. I love the new generation, that word for yourself. Whereas the new generation wears makeup to be something instead of to look pretty. And I love that like like like euphoria. I did a really good job of like those all of those people aren't wearing makeup to look like sexy. They're wearing they have like dots in their eyebrows, my glitter all over their cheek. I mean, they're wearing it because they want to feel how that feels.


Yeah, they want to. And I love that the new generation is like I'm wearing makeup to become something I'm wearing blush on my nose and wing liner.


And I'm a boy and I drew a mustache, like they're just doing whatever they want to feel a certain way instead of wearing makeup, the way that I think a lot of women traditionally wear makeup, which was to be prettier.


Yeah. Which makes me feel very old. Well, that's why Barbie was so important, because at first she was shocking. Right. They're like, we can't sell a toy with nipples like boobs. Are you crazy? Yeah. But in the early 60s, the second biggest fear was that my daughters too sexualized, too slutty. She's too desirable. But the biggest fear is what if she's not pretty enough and can't get a man and can't get a meal ticket?


So then that's actually a deeper fear, right? So then the parents were like, well, if this is a toy that teaches my daughter grooming and how to be beautiful, this is part of training her to have a man which is dark.


Mm. But it just or dog, it just goes to show you that people are people are always afraid of sex and nudity period. It's the only thing everyone does but no one talks about, especially in America. That's why people are uncomfortable with drag queens. They think it's all about sex.


But here's the thing. But my hot take on that, which I let my hot take on that is like keep shit taboo because it just makes us funnier. Hello, Joe. I'm saying, like, I don't need all these problems to be solved because we get to be funny because you guys are offended by shit. So it's like cancel calls, like what you guys are saying. You're making a stronger like it's like the more shit you're offended by, the more shit we the more money we make.


Yeah. So so keep putting things off limits because that's more material for us.


So it is happy.


It can be more fun to be active and the more that's taboo the better, you know. So it's like I don't it's when people complain about this I'm like, do you really want this problem to be solved.


Yeah. Because then there's going to be no tension or conflict.


And that's where as a performer you get your charge from is knowing you're doing something. I'm not allowed to say.


This is just up to the line. Yeah. It's like I always wanted to. The one thing like my favorite way to laugh is when, like school, like you're not supposed to be laughing.


Yes. Makes you like, oh my gosh. So we're laughing when you know it's horrible and you shouldn't be laughing.


It's catharsis. And it's also like people are, you know you know, I think that this whole thing has just been so wildly patronising to adults who are like, we know you're joking. We know you're not racist. We know we know you're making fun of racist people. We know you're making fun of this stereotype. We know that you wouldn't say that if you actually were homophobic.


Right? You would never say that. Oh, truly homophobic person would never have said that.


You know what I'm saying? Like, I think we just are like a I'm obsessed with how, especially in our business, we are so classist.


And we just think that anyone that doesn't live in L.A. is like so dumb that they don't get jokes, which is not true.


It could not be less true. It's Roseanne one on one. Just because it doesn't mean we're stupid entertainment.


It's like you're rich because a bunch of people not in L.A. also enjoy time you got, although. Yeah, I mean, like that's why people don't want anything.


Right. I know this shows look like the best shows are like Alabama or these people are like we've waited all month for this.


Yes. We're ready to go out. Yeah. The thing we have to do and we're ready to laugh.


They love it like L.A. It's like I'll walk around this corner and have something else to do.


Yeah, like when I tour, if I go to, I don't know, this city, Brownsville, Texas, I'm like, I'm not only going to all these people are going to lose it. Every gay bar in the city is going to have a crazy night making money, you know, like you're creating and you're creating business for someone by coming to town.


You said you're welcome economy. Yeah, I said thank you. I said when I come to that bar of drag, I better get a drink.


Do you like that job? I gave you one. I thought, yeah, I have so many more questions. I think at some point I have to release you.


Well, I don't want to. It's only been, what, 30 minutes? The cars left, so we're going to ask you just back into the wild, but OK, we're going to release you by release. You mean you're going to sleep in that you live out here and you're going to run and we're going to see how far you can get before the guns come out.


Oh, why did you do this podcast? Oh, why did I do it? I just have always loved you and I love doing pods. And then I realized, oh, this is a video one. And I was like, I thought about stacking a bunch of stuff today.


And I was like, I always enjoy this more when I get in drag. For one thing, I was like, I'm just going to get in drag for you guys.


Like, I don't know.


Also, let's just say that if I was like, really, really and drag all the time, like if I was touring, these are exact kind of things I don't get to do if I'm gone all year. So anything local that have been asked to do, I'm like, I'm going to do it because no, I'm I'm not even here. Is that a good answer? My dream, the other reason is because I stand comedians and I so rarely get to actually work with them because I'm usually the comedian in the drag show.


And I, you know, we're on the drag. You know, I never get tired. Aren't we disappointing, though?


We're not that funny in real life, Earl. But you guys should definitely tune in.


I mean, like, we're not like comedians. It's where it's it's interesting. It's like podcasting is like I'm so torn about it because it's like comics and we're together. We just don't want to embarrass ourselves by trying to be funny in front of other comics. And this is how I know you're a real comic, is that I'm not trying to be funny in front of you.


Yeah. Whenever I get asked to do, like, you know, John earlier, something's like going to come to the satellite. And whenever a real comedian asked me to do a real thing, I just feel so included and cool. Yeah, I know. I love comedians.


I know you're a real comedian because I'm not trying at all. Now, I know you're not a real comedian because anybody that would be I know you're a real comedian. Not right now. I know you're a comedian because I found this because I'm not trying. I feel like it's completely effortless. I'm not doing putting any effort in.


I'm going to say real comics when they get together, they're not on they don't do bad stuff, just like we get to be normal people for a second.


And that's the energy I feel, which I love me in this way. Yeah.


I don't do bits like I did when I can get together and just be like ourselves. Yes. You know, nothing like me.


And you can get get together. People will. We won't be ourselves Manatos. We'll get together and we're, we're making the hills.


We're playing every part word for word, shot for shot remake of the Hill. Just being a tough love it.


I have tons of more questions. Let's just do a little rundown of all the questions I wrote out last night. Let's do it.


What's the weirdest place you've ever puked? Oh, I puked on a bus, a public bus when I was in college. Public transit bus. I used to date a hipster. And, you know, those people drink. Yeah. So like artsy people, you're so funny.


This question came about because we were talking and I was like, I'll puke anywhere. I don't care. I will help you.


I was a random I was targeted Wal-Mart on myself, the top of Runyon Canyon, the background, people selfies, puking all over myself and then went for a hike when he first came to L.A. and puked violently, dramatically all over myself, all over everyone around me. They were taking selfies in the background, huge area. And then I stood up and I was like, I just walked on, like, as if I just said, you're welcome.


Yeah, that's my cue. Nobody has to make it up here. Like it was like a psychopath hack. The entire subway covered in.


You said, ain't nobody doing it like me. Look, no one can do what I look. InterOil, look at the puke. Look at the material.


New York dentin. You didn't want that scratch and sniff. I the weirdest place I've ever puked is probably my mom's nursing home in the parking lot.


Wow. That's dark.


Where's the story? Let's keep it light. And you hadn't even gone in yet. You're just drinking brown paper bag and I'm adopted. I know my mother.


My mom didn't even know she's dead. I've got to tell you, she didn't live there anymore.


She passed on.


Yeah, I puked right in her casket thing. And I went to give her a kiss, got grossed out. No, I haven't.


You don't have any, like, pregnancy surprise pukes or anything. You never puked. You are going to have you.


It's just I remember where I blacked out. I know I can't talk to that shit.


That's more oxytocin puke. One doesn't. She says that part is not written in this story.


No, I have no memory of where I did. She said. I'm not like, you know, I just know that you can't eat that food ever again. Yeah, yeah.


And then we should like that particular.


Anyway, I never stopped me. Go right back.


I can eat carrots again. It's I will say like if I drank to the point of puking it does something to that.


Yeah. Like it ruined tequila.


Oh girl tequila. It only takes puking up tequila once. It was much for a while. Right. I like vodka but when I get drunk I like to ask people to do me favors. I'll get drunk and we run a karaoke bar one time and Gaza woman came out, which is not a karaoke song.


Just to be very clear, that poor man at the karaoke deejay, I was like, please download the song that nobody wants to hear any song but this song.


It's the only song of the night. Shut it down. Oh, I think I have a video of me singing this song. I mean, you've never seen something so bad in your life.


And I was up in people's faces like God is a lawman and like on table like a psycho.


Yep. And it wasn't even karaoke. Sure it wasn't. It was a tiki bar. Yeah, it was a Burger King. It was a Burger King. They said, man, this is Wendy's.


So, OK, I have many other things that I wrote down as so excited about.


Oh, what's your favorite movie. Oh girl. I know Clueless. Oh, Melissa Jawbreaker I think.


God, I didn't. Clueless is kind of a perfect movie. Fashion the comedy. But were they not related in some way? They were stepbrother and stepsister. I don't love it. OK, Game of Thrones. But it's but have some notes on that.


But it's based on a Shakespeare story. The siblings we married left him right.


I don't care if he's your brother or your dad. If it's him.


Read you marry Russ. Yes. That's your twin brother Corak. You fuck wrote in. You sent me a video once and it was like too much. Somebody was working on a show with him was like hi. And he was like, Hi Trixie, thank you so much for loving me. And I was like, yeah, I always write these songs about people I love in the world, you know? And I wrote a song about Jesse Eisenberg, sent me a video saying Thank you once.


It's such a good song to Get Starstruck by Paul Rudd.


I wish I had those. I talk about him every other day and internee like, how are you? I'm like in love with Paul Rudd. How are you? Yes, he's just so hot to me. That is so funny. I love hot, nerdy Jewish guys.


What if he wasn't and clueless. Still. Still. OK, Halloween. Got it.


So Paul Rudd is your celebrity crush. I, Paul Rudd, Jesse Eisenberg, sometimes Michael Sarah Dipalma letting Ryan Reynolds is up there and Danny Glover and that's about it.


Mm. I'm not taking.


What about you.


My celebrity crushes. Um I don't.


Who do I like we trying to do this in open. One time we had sex, we tried to do this in open one time and you cut it because you kept going. You have to be nice and we talk about people that I'm attracted. Then you, you know, you just can't do it and you just cut the entire open. Oh. Because you were like, say anything. We even started yet you just never know. You can't do it.


I will say one more thing about Clueless. I love that movie because it's similar to Beverly Hills where it portrays a rich person as a good person, which never happens. Rich women in movies are never good.


Yeah, I like to at least Silver Star. I mean, she changed lives, that movie. And Brittany Murphy, we don't talk about it, but yeah. You know, I just.


I love that it is. Yeah, it is. Music, the fashion. She had 60 costume fittings directed by a woman.


I mean, the look on those movies or. Come on. Yeah. Most amazing.


The Aerosmith music videos with least when I can I if I may. When Alicia came to mind, when I was running my my Comedy Central second Comedy Central special, I think she came to the me running because the director, Marty Corner of my special directed those videos. I wanted to I was like, I want to hire that music video director special. He's like, seventy five. I came out of retirement. I like begged him to do think on two specials.


And so she came and watched and I met her and that was probably the most starstruck I've been actually. I was very like, oh whoa.


Because I just pictured her like hanging off the thing. Doing this in that music video like that was she's my kind of she's up there. She's in L.A. Maushart, like she's coming on the podcast.


I will not be able to function. Oh, my God, she's.


What's your favorite movie? Oh, L.A.. My probably Dolly.


She, like, really change. I mean, I got that album, the acoustic version of Take a little Pill when I was sixteen because I was a ten year anniversary.


And it just both of those versions when the real one just.


It's amazing. Yeah. Songwriting just. Songwriting was like, amazing. I should probably get off these antibiotics is an opening line of one of the songs.


Yes, I didn't mean to say it out loud. We like to. But then I go back like this and I listen to I listen to it in Torian, L.A. I'm like these. And I was telling Emily this. I'm listening to the songs now. I'm like, these bitches were telling us we didn't listen.


I mean what about what's the song I want to be loved even when I'm fuming. It's a good song about being good or to be good.


A lot of these ladies that you listen to whole. Yes, of course. Those whole albums. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.


This woman is like predicting the future. Yes, that's right. About fame and in the way people use women. And it's crazy.


It's just like, listen, they were talking to us and we just weren't listening. So I'm like a big part of my homework right now is going back and like listening to, like, Tori Amos, like she like she was on that me to shit like way way.


But yeah, a little bit more sad.


I would probably cry when she was at the event that we were at.


Oh yeah. And I started amazing. She was I didn't even know I was like, you know, in some of those things and you find out you were a fan, like I just found myself going, you know, is the same when I saw Spice Girls, I actually done oh my God, I'm not like I don't like having their pictures on my wall. But as soon as I heard them singing live, it was just like it was over.


It was over. Yeah.


I met by I met Emma like baby once. I met Milby too. But when I met I had like a boost, a pair of boots like these on. As she told me my boots had girl power.


Now it's she was like, how are you? And I said, I spent a lot of my youth pretending to be you and now a lot of my adulthood.


I just like I love her. I love like I love Tracy Chapman and Joni Mitchell and people like that. Again, amazing songwriters. Carly Simon like people like that.


Natasha, what's your favorite movie? Hi. My worst question.


I don't know why it is a weird it's a weird question, but I like what happens to someone when you ask it. I don't need to know the answer.


I probably get to meet people like I'm going to say, Zululand at work. It's like Beverly Hills cop. I love that.


I love it. I don't think gay people realize this is my favorite movie and straight people, I don't really have a favorite movie. My boyfriend's a filmmaker.


And so when I went on my first date, I knew he was a filmmaker and I was like, I know he's going to ask why movies? So what are my favorite movies? So I made like a short list. So I knew you're like you're just showing up.


But like, I worked with a guy that used to carry a list in his billfold of his five hundred favorite movies. Why that is.


That is carry around with 500.


I hate the idea of someone asking him not knowing what they're getting into. I do just like what happens to people's brains when you ask them their favorite movie, they get angry and they feel attacked. Oh, I know. Immediately.


Oh really? Because people feel attacked because you're judging them. Right?


They're going like, oh like it's so intimate. It's so they're afraid of what the room thinks.


If they pick something too palatable, do they have to be smart as to be esoteric and to be smart?


It's like when you like what you did a Christmas movie, someone's like Die Hard. I'm like, I need to die. OK, I get you think that's a Christmas tree? That's not what I am. Singer say. Oh yeah. For an exact eventually die hard. It's so much more interesting. Just answer the question.


That's a mystery. Yeah. It's just like overthink everything like that.


Yeah. No but I think it's just more about like a it's an interesting how insecure I get when someone asked me that question and I'm just I guess.


Well I know I got panicky. Yeah. I have to stretch first before I know I need such a question about my own like tastes.


OK, I love you.


We're not going to promote your makeup because it's already selling too well. So don't buy Trixie's makeup. Yes. If you'd like to see some fabulous products, we have Trixie Cosmetics dot com. Don't buy them no sell out this week. Stop buying.


I tried so hard to get that. Oh my gosh. Really buy this. Yeah. Oh my God. Thank you. Bought them like like it was a soga. Oh that's the stuff like that.


I like it's this is my like like you're making a for people that's on it.


That's one of the best concert I've gotten because I wanted it to feel like a Polly Pocket.


I feel like you know what it also feels like to me. Trapper Keeper. Speaking of proper keepers. Yes, totally.


Speaking of Polly Pocket, another great quote from Whitney, this shit we said we were all of hypocrisy.


When he goes, Who is Polly? I know. I like the toy pocket. She goes, I had a bad childhood and then just left the room with, I don't know, said, can we pivot this back to the trouble?


Is there any way for me to fit in? Then I was caught on fire and I haven't seen that before on makeup, but I literally love everything.


I know you well. I tell you all all nice makeup comes in black plain packaging and all fun makeup is not good formula. So our mission was like, can we make pro formulas in like Claire's package?


Didn't you use a toy designer to make the. Yeah. The person who designs his full time, his full time job is making toys for a big toy company. I love that x.


Everybody we work with has they have toys also little the Buffi Glitter.


These are glitters. Is it different glitters. These are some of our glosses, lipsticks plus palettes. We just had a. Lipstick launch a few days ago, Red Scare sold out again. We have an this comes out in a few weeks, right? Yeah, we have a paladar first Hippolyte coming out in February.


It's a blue Ippolita. It's incredible.


It's slutty, slutty blues in the palace called daytime realness.


This Buffi Glitter. So favorite TV show.


Yeah, well, I was like, I remember this when I was like like I know why we have stuff coming out this year, literally multiple launches a month through the whole year because we've grown so much last year and covid I mean, I don't know what Hause were doing.


They weren't at work, they were buying makeup.


These measures were always saying making YouTube videos in a recession or money thing.


Entertainment and medic's never we hired all year like we need them, but we've grown so much we're moving into a new office, new warehouse, doubling our size. It's crazy.


That's amazing. Do you agree with this puffy glitter as little crosses and hearts? Yeah, it's fun, but let's stop with not getting like, how do you get glitter? I know that's probably just like the basic just like the way you apply it.


Like ours comes with a sifter. That's how you do it.


Ours comes with this sifter. So or you can pull the scepter out I think is a scepter user base, like I use glue usually and then press it into it. I like putting glitter on my eyebrows.


We are glitters are limited. We usually put them out with color collections and then the limited editions.


Lady Gaga has a glitter bra and then this just came out. What about you? I'm really proud. I love fun orange as an orange.


Oh, wait. Who is the. I love who does it. Who is the designer. Woman's name, trapper keeper, Lisa Frank. Lisa Frank, yes. Yes, Aretha Franklin, Aretha, and then we did their queen size pants because I like when blushes are like a hubcap. Sites give me like give me a big I need it.


But I also got a big head. I'm also obsessed with and I want I will do this eventually. I want to see your makeup and see the way your lipsticks are shaped, because I'm obsessed with the way when when a woman is used a lipstick, a lot of people do some weird.


The shape of the lipstick side is flat there.


And then interesting, my lipsticks are flat after I've used them like, you know, some of them are like some big ones, like, yes, that's gross to me, which I think is so weird.


It's like a tell a little which is put on. I knew one girl.


She twisted up all the way and then she would do both flips at once and then eventually would just break off in the middle. And I'm like, that is so secure.


Yeah, I like her like Irish Spring, Singapore, so I really like this one.


This is like a translucent pink really 80s have and had vowed honor to allow.


Wow, I love neutrals but I also I mean I love really braids too. Yeah. It's fun making makeup. I when I used to work in the make up stories I always used to like something would come out and I would be like, here's what I would have done differently. This is the wrong name. This should have been smells weird and it's fun to be able to just have a say in all to do it now.


It's a lot of work though to be honest. If I don't known as much work as it is, I'm not saying I would have started, but like it took a long time to get the rhythm.


Yeah, you have to make how long this will take. How long does this take? Oh, probably a year. One year. Five months. A year. Who would have thunk.


Not to mention like if you want to make lipgloss is great. There's all this work to at first even come up with this component, this tube, the shape and then you're talking about the formulas, the colors, the shades, the scent. What's the price point? What countries can you do it legally and how do you get through those holes of how to do it? Shipping it to stores? You mean to people? It's just there's so much to it.


But we have a very talented team. It's like all women. Yeah.


Do you have like a signature thing? Like one thing that it's like you. Yes. A lot of brands do have like this.


I'm really proud of actually really like this new gloss. But do you have Stacy's mom. Is that here. I think it's that one. Oh this is his mom. I love Stacy's mom.


That's like being so good. So good. It's like a vegan hot pink. It's right. Then I don't I'm. So what do you have perfect lips. You said. Should I put this on. Well, yeah, why not.


I it's fun because it's pink, but it's kind of muted. It's not neon. Yeah. Kind of purple based almost. Yeah. It's begin. Yeah. I love child and I had to name it after Stacy's mom because I love Fountains of Wayne. That is for my next special.


Do I do a full Trixi look.


I mean she's like not that's not lashes. Albury's these so I play copyright.


No I mean like your makeup she'll be in this look with a guitar and go go boots.


I'll be like looking more familiar with you. I think I'll just go out for you can be a makeup artist.


Have your jokes written down. Oh yeah. Yeah.


She's done that before. Where she goes. I'm going to read her jokes. That's right. It was really funny. I'm trying to figure out a way to get someone to replace me. Yeah. Yeah. I had the robot that I'm trying to get.


You are the name of that girl sitting in the back seat like, well thank you for I mean, this has been such a dream. I mean, what a dream I and these very awkwardly. And anything else we want to say.


Please follow me everywhere. I, Trixie, Mattel, you can listen my music, watch my YouTube channel, you can watch my Netflix show, you can just watch me anywhere.


I just love you adult people. What content dream you are. What a dream I've learned so much. My heart is so full. I feel very healed.


I am like personally like so like thrilled and inspired to see someone who came from like a small town who had like a very similar like experience, like doing such cool things. I think that's like if I would have saw this, I mean, we're very close in age, but if I were to start it's like as a child, I would've been like, I can do fucking anything. Yeah, totally.


Like, I want to go do a special in my hometown someday. Yes. But I feel like five hundred people. But I want to go rent the bowling alley. Do it, do it.


I'm doing that in West Virginia. I feel like so much of it, maybe so much of like being like a gay boy growing up is you to consciously look for women and figure out how to find yourself with them.


What they're doing. You have to find female comedians. Well, that's similar to me or watch movies that clearly I relate to this because you have to figure out where you fit in and like having now having like like even this punk ass drag race. And I just haven't been able to see someone like that. But it's so similar to my story would be like so life changing for kids. I think for adults I'm just kids like grown ups are still trying to figure that out.


Yeah. So that's really cool. Good for you.


Still finding yourself in a woman and you're absolutely beautiful and just your energy. You have such a great energy. You know, I feel like people like your energy is around here, like I can feel you. It is it does feel wonderful to be in your presence. Thank you.


You're very kind. I feel like this makeup expired about six hours. It's makeup does go back. I'm glad when I step. Outside, it's going to be dark out. The driver would have just hit it. Oh, God, it's Jennifer. Love you. It's no, it's it's it's Jennifer Coolidge is an oil painting.


Cars attack. Yeah. Not even the woman in the market don't ride elephants.


I love you guys.