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-cheers. -cheers. Hello there. It's Tignotaro. I'm sitting here with my co-hosts.

Fortune Femester.

Hello there. It's May Martin as well.

And you're listening to Handsom.

The Handsom pod.

That's us. You can really hear when people are smiling while they're talking. I really heard, and you're listening to Handsom. I heard the smile. Yeah.

You're keeping it smooth and sexy, but fun.

Smiling on through with smooth jazz.

I have a lot of energy this morning.

Why?

I don't really know because mornings, I'm not a typical morning person.

Okay, you're atypical. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe that's the stand-up in me. I'm a night owl.

When do you go to bed?

Like midnight. I don't.

Know if that counts as night owl. Really? Do you go to bed at midnight?

Is that pretty late? Especially, that's pretty late. That's an early night for May.

May, what's your bedtime?

Well, it's changing and evolving now, especially I'm in the writer's room again, but normally I can't get to bed until 2:30.

Oh, that is a night owl.

I know, and then I wake up 9:30. But why did you shoot out of bed this morning? Like a little, I don't know, popping candy on you.

Like a pretty little lady? Yeah. I was excited to see you guys. Girl.

Skipping around as you make your coffee.

Yeah, I do make coffee. I used to go buy it because I'm a big coffee person, I love Espresso, and I used to go buy it. It's pretty expensive if you buy it every day. I got one of those cups. -cupes. -cupes.

Machines. Nice.

Maybe that's one... In a good mood, I had my coffee.

What do you guys wear to sleep?

Oh, May. I can't believe it.

I'm picturing taking a matching set of PJs and a little hot.

Now we're getting to the nitty gritty. What does everyone wear to bed?

I'll tell you right now. Tell us. Just my panties.

For real? Just that.

Yeah. Really? My panties.

Yeah, that's-Yeah, I like that.

-yeah, me too.

No ones.

Yeah.

You too, bro. You go night night in your panties. Yeah, cool.

Me too, bro. You go night night in your panties.

All right, dude, I'm going to go night, night at my panties.

No, I'm in the boy shorts and a T-shirt. Yeah. What do you do, May? That's what is on everyone's mind.

Full leather. No, I go boy shorts, like boxers and T-shirt. I think I slept fully naked as a kid until too late, until maybe 13. I was just getting up in the morning fully naked, going making my tea.

Making your coffee.

At 13. I loved.

Being naked. Naria Pante.

Naria Pante to be seen.

Are you striking me as someone who doesn't mind being naked still, though?

Yeah, you know what? Well, before top surgery and stuff, I felt confident, naked, but not confident in clothes. But once I'm naked, I know what I'm up to. I don't know what that means, but I don't know what that means.

Once I'm naked, I'm known now.

I know what I'm up to. Yeah, I.

Feel confident. Once I'm naked, I have no clue what I am up to. I've lost me.

I love once I'm naked, I know what I'm up to.

I don't know what I meant by that.

Like sexy time, I assume?

No? Yeah, I guess it was like- More merch. -once I'm naked, I think the clothes made me feel more awkward. No, I don't mind being naked.

Yeah. I'm a light, soft girl.

What is lights? Oh, light, soft. I thought you said light, soft.

I'm a light, soft girl. I'm a light, soft girl.

When I've had my pond tooth, I like the lights very soft.

Yeah, no, I don't. This is not a buddy that likes to be naked.

Well, I don't like to sleep naked because I want to be ready for anything, like if a zombie's come or a murderer- Zombs. Zombs. Great memory. Yeah, if Zombs come, I want to be able to jump up and fight them.

I was thinking more like earthquakes, but sure, Zombs.

Well, am I in a real situation because I'm just sleeping in my panties?

Yeah. Well, you definitely need a pair of shoes nearby and maybe a pair of pants.

I always have my little slippers next to the bed.

Do they have little Bunny ears on them?

Might as well.

I do like the visual of you just in your pantsies and slipper's outside with everyone else who's just in dirt and earthquake.

I'm.

So sorry. You're in Bunny Rabbit and Slipper's.

You're like, Guys, that was a- That was shaky. -that was a 5.5. That was shaky.

Anyone else's hair get messed up? Yeah. Is it too vulnerable to just be in Pontes?

It's all about how you feel. If you feel like you could take on a Zomb in your Pontes, I'm not going to stop you.

Taking on a Zomb in my Pontes. Yeah, I could do it.

How did you wake up feeling this morning, take full of beans?

A little tired.

I.

Am not a heavy drinker. I had a skinny margarita last night. I'm noticing that... It's not turquoise, tequila. Tequila really makes me sleep.

Because it's supposed to be one of the uppers.

Yeah. Then I read, found a Mayfact online, how tequila is really helpful with sleeping.

Really?

I did.

Not know that. When I have a margarita, which is my go-to when I'm down to party, my next morning, I'm a little like, Oh, boy. Not hungover, but it just makes - Foggy. Yeah. I'm not a big boo sound.

Well, I know that because you called tequila turquoise.

-you can think of the word. -i drank some turquoise last night. I've never looked better.

That, I guess, is a real tell. But yeah, that's how I woke up, a little groggy. We're going to my sister-in-law's wedding. This morning I got to see a real cute parade.

In our bedroom. Oh, you saw that. The little suits that are going to be worn?

The three-piece Texas.

Oh, my God.

God helped me when I saw parading through the bedroom.

I love a kid in a three-piece suit.

It's.

So cute. Or little Nikes.

I.

Like a baby in Nikes. Oh. Yeah, they can only wear them for two weeks.

Not as cute as Baby and adidas.

I mean, I like adidas situation.

Okay, just like a sneaker.

Are they in the wedding or this is just that they are? What are their duties?

I think they're, I don't know.

I was going.

To pull their - Wait, what happens at weddings? I don't know.

You're like, I'm still drunk from my skinny turquoise.

Yeah, I had a skinny margarita 18 hours ago. Don't talk.

To me. They either have flower petals or a ring. I don't know.

They're offitiating.

They're.

Offitiating? God, that would be amazing if they were offitiating. They're like, Dearly, beloved.

Do you guys- Wait, that's.

A funeral. Oh, my bad.

Oh, no, that's a wedding.

Wait, we don't know.

No, we do because of prints.

Dearly, beloved, we are.

Gathered here. We are gathered here today. Yeah, it's a wedding. Yes, it's a wedding.

We only know what a wedding is based on prints. Dearly, beloved.

We are gathered.

Here today.

Wedding.

Do you guys get asked a lot to officialize weddings? I feel like that's something that people would ask you both.

I have officialied weddings. You have? I have performed at weddings. Yeah, I got my certificate.

Oh, what?

I just saw a ghost.

No, I was looking for my certificate on the wall, and then I realized I didn't hang that up on the wall.

I've been asked to officialize weddings, but I don't know the people. I just feel like they should know the person.

Yes.

Also, I'm a little busy.

Also, they got to kick down the cash. That's the other thing. What cash are you tucking?

Oh, man. If the price was.

Right- To tuck.

In cold, hard cash. I'm tucking cold, hard cash, too. I don't think anyone wants me to officialate their wedding because they're scared I'd start talking about non-monogamy during the time of.

The stuff. Oh, no.

But I am- What do you.

Guys think of thruples?

You know how you hear about really famous people just dropping in on weddings? They're in the same hotel.

Yeah, like Tom Hanks is.

Walking by. Imagine being that level of famous that you just know, They're going to be happy to see me.

That's a pet peeve of mine. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's.

Pretty wild, right? Although I love Tom. I love Tom.

But what about it? You just don't like.

The resumption. You're just making such a... I can't imagine doing that. I know. I can't imagine. When people photobomb somebody's wedding or interrupt something.

Can you imagine the three of us walking in?

It's a statement of like, I'm so famous or important that- Special. -the special that I can just barge in here.

I can make this day about me.

Yeah, well, it's just that people are going to go, Oh, my God.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I know. I'm with you. But then as I said it, I was like, if I was getting married and Beth Midler walked in, I'd be glad she did. I'd be like, come on.

I bet with a Tom Hank situation, he might have been just walking through and they're like, Oh, my God. Tom. Tom. Tom. Come here. Take a picture. It might have been like that.

Listen, I'm going to give Tom a pass, okay? But in general, I just think it's so cheesy and presumptuous and you're just saying, Hey, I'm such a big deal. Because it's like, would you go in between some random couple when they're getting their engagement picture to be like, Hey. If you weren't known, they would not be amused. They'd be like, Get out of… We're paying by the hour here.

I'm learning how to use a film camera for photographs. Yeah, camera. Yeah, camera. I was walking around Central Park by myself and taking pictures and being all artsy. Then there was a couple taking engagement photos and a beautiful. I started taking tons of pictures of them. Then I got too confident. I was getting up too close because it was just... There was their official photographer taking and they had lighting and everything. Then I started really getting in there, worming my.

Way in.

Oh, my God. When I got the pictures developed, one of the pictures that I got developed, the groom is just looking directly into my lens like, Fuck off.

The photographer is like, Did you guys hire another competing photographer?

You should walk around with your business card and then you give it to them. Then if they're interested in buying the photo that you took.

They.

Could be like, I got some of the best shots. You're not going to want to miss out on these. Here's my card and my Vidmo.

It's all Tom Hanks jumping into people's photos. I want to be very clear here. I love Tom Hanks.

Wow. Yeah, it felt like you did it for a second.

Don't you dare.

I love that you cleared that up.

I did say I would give him a pass.

True. You are a big romcom girl.

I am a huge rom-com. Rom-com.

I love a good of romcom.

That is what it should.

Be called. It should be. He and Meg Ryan need.

To bring it back. Make a rom-com.

Make a rom-tom. Make a rom-tom.

Man, we really miss the boat on that being a popular word.

What? Rom-tom?

Yeah.

It sounds like Rumpelstiltskin.

We just got to get another big Tom to.

Be a.

Romantic lead. Yeah.

Okay, I just got it.

I just... Oh, wait, you just understood.

I don't know what I was.

Laughing at. Come on in. Come on in.

What did I say? I go, Yeah, like Rumblestillskin.

What? We're like, Okay. We're like, Yeah, exactly like Rumblestillskin.

Two minutes later.

Just.

Got it. Okay, not like Rumpelstil's skin.

Oh, Jesus. I didn't even have a skinny turquoise last night.

Oh, my God. That is too funny.

That is so funny.

I love your bravery and admitting you got it two.

Minutes later. Two minutes? It was much longer.

Than that. I don't know. I'm not keeping watch on the clock.

Even using the word Rumpelstillskin is such a reach. Where is it?

I've ignored you.

You've.

Fully.

Ignored me. That word never fits into conversation. I know. It never comes up.

Just like Rumpelstil's skin. We're like, What?

Okay.

I guess now is the time to wedge it into a conversation. Yeah, just like Rumpelstil's skin.

Okay. Where that came from.

Is-fortune, I have blank faces.

I'm crying. I'm like crying right now.

I'm pinched. I was like, I'm bomb.

Not like.

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I think I thought you guys were laughing at how rom-tom sounds like Rintin-Tins or.

Like- I think I can't- -not even close. I think I can't.

You wandered off from the pack there. I strayed. Oh, my God.

Yeah, so Rumpelstill's skin.

Yeah, like.

A-.

You say that name all the time when you're in preschool, and then it never comes up again.

Yeah, same with Rapunzel.

You talked about Rapunzel before.

You definitely- Yeah.

You bring up these fairy tale.

Yeah, you bring up these fairy tale. Hansel, Gretel, all the greats.

All the greats. My friend's dad almost called her and her brother Hansel and Gretel when they were born.

That would be a cruel joke. Was he at least German?

I don't know. I don't know.

I think.

He's.

Italian. Oh, hey. -hands-over-head.

-hands-over-head. Pasquale. That was my father's name, Pasquale.

Pasquale. That's Italian?

Pasquale Notaro.

Pasquale. A pizza pasta.

That's a write. I love Pasquale.

I love Pasquale.

Pasquale. Kind of like Rumpetom.

Oh, yeah, Pasquale, like Rumpel's Dillskin.

You've probably been reading fairy tales lately, so that might be on.

Your brain. I'm very into mythology and folklore on my own. I'm very into the Pied Piper of Hamlin. I was like an allegory for what happens if you don't look at darkness. I have been listening to it. Wait, what? Well, I don't know. I'm into the Pied Piper.

It's unfortunate. Rumpel, Still, Skin, Stab.

The Pied Piper of Hamlin?

Yeah.

That's right.

You know the Pied Piper. It's Jake. Wait, you guys know the pieed piper?

Jake has no idea what you're talking about either. Or just for the record.

Wait, are you serious?

I don't know this. Okay, okay. I mean, I've heard the word pieed piper. Yeah. What is Hamlin?

That's where he's from. Why are we trying to pretend like we don't have a side podcast about Hamlin and the Pide Piper? About mythology. Where we do a deep dive on it?

Okay. The Pide Piper is from Hamlin.

You know what's crazy is I just literally listened to a podcast that was a deep dive on the Pide Piper of Hamlin.

Seriously. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's too funny. Then on their download count, it just says one.

Yeah. I'm like, Oh, wonderful. Can't wait to dig my teeth into this.

This podcast goes out to May Martin.

I've only heard the phrase like, You're going to have to pay the answer to the pie and piper, or pay the pie and piper, or whatever that.

Phrase is. Yeah. Basically, they had this rat problem in this small town.

Oh, boy.

May fact. Well, this is a... I don't even know if this is based in truth. It can't be.

Well, who cares?

Mayfantasy. Yeah, there should be a May fantasy. Then this guy, this magical outsider shows up, all dressed in colorful robes and stuff. He says, If you pay me this amount of money, I'll play my little pipe, and I'll lead all the rats out of town. He does and he leads them all away. Then the greedy towns people don't pay him. He had worn them. Then he plays his little pipe and all the children of the town follow him and he leads them into a mountain and they're never seen again.

What? Wow, that went dark.

All those fairy tales are so dark.

Yeah, true. But I'm sorry to back up. You're into this story?

You have a follow-up question?

I dig it.

Okay, you can dig a story.

That's where you have to pay the pie and piper. Yeah, you got to pay the pie and piper. He doesn't kidnap your children.

Fortune wants to get full circle to like, Why are we talking about the pie and piper?

Fortune's like, Well, what's his Venmo?

Hamlin is where this took place?

I think so, yeah.

Okay. I think so. Well, now we know the.

Origin of that.

Thank God. I think myths and fairy tales, the reason they endure and they resonate with us is that they speak to some inner truth that we know, and they're helpful.

And they're meant to scare you.

Yeah.

Yeah. What?

The big, bad wolf?

Or Itsy-Bitsy Spider?

Or Rob Tom Tom.

Or Ripple Van Winkle.

What did Ripple still do? I forgot.

He agreed to help this girl spin her hair into gold. And then he said, Is something about guessing his name? If you guess my name, and then she guessed it or something. And then he stomped himself into the ground. He was so mad. Oh, he said, Give me your firstborn child. Child, unless you can guess my name.

Whoa.

Good night.

That's high stakes.

He takes going, Night, night, night.

In her ponthies. Yeah, night, night in my ponthies. After that story. He was so angry, he stopped her into the ground. Do you have your ponthies on? Time to go night, night.

Oh, my gosh. That's the best part about this podcast. We just really never know where we're going at.

Some point. Should we go into our guest question?

Yes, let's do it.

Sure. Sure. That's why we're here. All right, our question for this episode is from my dear old pal. I don't know how tight you guys are with Mr. Mike Berbiglia.

I don't know him well, but I really like him. His one-man show is really impressive.

Oh, my gosh.

I think I just met him for the first time in Montreal. But you know someone's like a comedian's comedian when people just call them Berbiglia by the last name.

Yeah, when you know you've made it as a comedian, people start calling you Berbiglia. That's right, May. No. I hate Burbakes. I have known Mike forever, and I just really admire his writing and performing, everything. He's so talented and a very nice guy. He's a stand-up actor, writer, director. You've seen him in the movie's sleepwalk with me, and a man called Otto with Tom Hanks.

Tom.

Hanks. Actually, Mike just released his latest stand-up special called The Old Man and the Pool, and you can watch that on Netflix.

I can't wait.

Let's hear Berbig's question.

Hey.

It's Mike Berbiglia. Okay, here's my question. What is the most surprising thing about being an adult that would have surprised your childhood self? What would your childhood self be most shocked about your adult self?

So much.

So much. Most surprising thing about being.

An adult? I feel like for me, out of the gate, I would never have believed that I could pull my life together and be, I feel like, a good, reliable partner and parent and just keep the train moving. Because I was just so, I don't know. Chaotic. Yeah, I was moving all the time. This job, that job. I can't believe that I took this turn and that I'm able to maintain a relationship, a family, a career, and all of that stuff.

You were more just flailing through the wind.

Yeah, get my mail, put it in a stack, and then my electricity goes off. I'm like, What happened? Then I'm like, Oh, right. I got my mail and I didn't open my bills. I was that person.

That started young for you, right? You were dropping out of school. Did you imagine you were going to be a lone wolf hitchhiker? You know what I mean?

Well, I think when I was a lone wolf failure drop out, not really a lone wolf. I had a lot of great friends, but I was certainly not following a typical path. I was failing and dropped out. I didn't think I was going to have much for myself. I think it was also because of what was drilled into my head that if I didn't do these things, then I wouldn't have much for myself. But I also didn't want too much for myself.

You didn't have lofty goals.

No. Oh, my God.

You felt allergic to the prescribed. Yeah, I was similar, I think. Yeah.

It was not for me. I just thought, Well, it's fine. I'll just have a little hatchback, live in a studio apartment, I'll deliver pizza, and then just have my friends and a girlfriend, or maybe have a baby one day. But I didn't think I was going to be able to handle much more or have much more. That includes the much more, meaning even ability to navigate my life.

Yeah, that's great, then.

That's very… When do you think the turning point was? Did you feel a shift at some point into this new path, or was it gradual?

I think there's just been different shifts that have happened. I certainly could keep some things together in life. I guess I had fantasies and dreams about something else, but I didn't believe that that would happen for me. I wanted to do work in music business. I mean, my deep dark secret was wanting to do stand-up. But my fantasy that I could share was that I wanted to work in music business. I had that dream, and I had some things under control in life. But I would say, I remember I wrecked a friend's car, and that really made me wake up a little more like, What am I? I need to pull this together. Then that sent me into more of a traditional job while I was doing open mics. But it felt good to have that desk job that I had a reliable income and that stuff because I just felt really bad about myself when I wrecked that car.

Yeah. Fortune, do you remember when you were a kid, how you pictured your life?

I remember growing up feeling like there's got to be more. There was always something missing. But I think my childhood was over... The thing that was the shadow over it was just not knowing who I was. I could never live my life to the fullest in a certain way. I wasn't dating and I wasn't comfortable with myself because I didn't know myself. A lot of that had to do with coming out. Later, I came out at 25, and I feel like, gosh, who even was I? Before then, I was just always like, Something's missing. I never would have guessed that at some point in my life, I would have such a clear idea of who I am and have peace in that way because everything felt very chaotic, very discombobulated. I have a lot more peace that I got once I became an adult and got to be the captain of my own ship and make my own money and make my own decisions. I don't think I liked it in the hands of other people.

I like that both of you are thinking about, and me too, probably about adulthood is happening much later than... Because the numbers are so arbitrary. 18, you're an adult. But now they're saying your brain isn't fully until you're 27. That actual transition into self-assuredness, and that happens a lot later, I think, for most people. Yeah, your 20s are insane.

I feel like I was a different person almost. I was still like the essence of me was there. I was silly, and I want to say I was kind and I was still a good-time gal, but in a very innocent, naive way. But I definitely feel like that version of myself, I almost look at my childhood and that self as a different person. I can look back on her and give her grace and give her a little bit of a break because I was very hard on myself for a long time of not figuring it out and not knowing who I was and why is this all feeling so all over the place? But when you're a kid, a lot of things aren't in your control. You are at the mercy of adults figuring it out for a lot of things for you. I think I liked it once I could take the reins.

It's interesting how getting to know yourself in life, there's so many chapters of that. Yeah, totally. Because once I really settled into who I was and was like, Oh, okay, this is me. I'm so on and into another chapter of learning who I am in a long-term relationship, learning who I am as a parent, learning who I am as a boss, learning who I am in all of these different ways. It all morphs as it continues too.

Authenticity is like when you're being closer to who you really are, then it feels like you get into... Like on a vinyl record, you fall into the groove and things start happening more smoothly. You know what I mean? When you're out of alignment with who you really are, then- Scratching. Yeah, you're scratching all around the town.

Yeah. What about for you, Maeve?

I think as a little kid, I was a lot more in line with who I was because I was lucky. I don't know. I was lucky that I always said I wanted to be a comedian even when I was little, little, and I was wearing three-piece suits, and I was silly. Then I think puberty fucked me over. It just has taken me a long time to get back to who I was as a kid, like closer to who I was then.

-closer to fine.

-closer to fine.

What do you mean by puberty fucked you over?

Well, I think that's like I grew my hair long. I'd never had a long hair. I suddenly felt that pressure to conform. I grew my hair long for like three years or something around 13. Yeah, I got into drugs and just got, I mean, probably also because my body started changing at puberty, and I was a little tranny, probably. Then I was really upset by it and didn't know. I just felt so terrible about it. Then if you're really off the rails and then you're meeting shrinks and you get into the system of... Then in rehab and stuff, and people are telling you, as soon as you diagnose teenagers and throw around those things, it really limits how you see your own potential and the possibilities for your life. So any labels do that. But if you're like, well, you're an addict and you're a compulsive liar or whatever, and it's like, Yeah, I'm, of course, lying because I'm a teenager and I want to do drugs. But those labels really fucked with me. I was like, Oh, I'm bad. I'm bad. I never thought about my life really beyond 30. I thought I would just be being nuts and then probably something bad would happen.

So it's been a nice shift. I'm surprised that this feels likeso that just the start of my life. Yeah, it's exciting. Yeah, that's awesome. Especially, this is such a lame thing, but doing improv again, it really taps into some silliness in me. In the past five or six years, I've felt that was stand-up, too. But I think for years, I was not really myself on stage, and it takes a while to figure that out. And oh, man, an improv is just like tapping into some primal, early part of myself doing and dumb voices and joking.

Yeah, letting yourself be silly.

Oh, my God. Yeah, that's the best. We all got pretty deep.

I liked that.

The laughs all went away. I know. We were like, Well, I didn't find myself for another 10 years. I know. Then I was living on the streets. Literally.

I wonder, do you think Mike probably intended us to be like, Well, bathtub used to be fun as a kid, and now it's...

Well, I certainly never thought I'd be a stand-up comedian. I mean, that, to me, seemed like not a real job. That was like one of those Hollywood is some fanciful place. It might as well have been Narnia for me.

Now you're starting to sound like May.

May's rubbing off.

On me. I'm like, Are you talking about Aslin?

Did.

Somebody say Narnia?

Did somebody say?

Anything that you can say in this voice? Did somebody say it?

Yeah.

I do remember in college, I was my college graduation speaker, and I was trying to be funny up top. I wasn't like a class clown, but I had moments of funny. I gave the speech, and it made people laugh in the beginning. I remember that feeling of like, Oh, that's really cool. Then it also had a motivational bend to it. It was like... Even then, I was like, Oh, I want to be a motivational speaker. It never occurred to me because I'd heard Chris Farley. It's funny because it goes back to comedy. You're in Chris Farley's character. We're like, I'm a motivational speaker. You're going to live in a van down by the river. I was like, I want to be a motivational speaker because I like using words to make people feel good. But I remember having that thought of like, Well, that's impossible. How do you get a bunch of people to listen to you?

How do you motivate people with the most tired voice?

And.

With a microphone and.

Just you. May, you got to get up.

All right. Come on, let's get going. I was like a slow Matthew McConough. All right, all right, all right.

It's fortune, and I'm here to.

Motivate you. You're going to live in a van down by the river. Here we are. Here we are talking to people and they're listening.

How come kids always... They always want to be vets.

Or- I wanted to.

Did you? You wanted to be a vet?

I did. Yeah. And an architect. I wanted to be the fifth-Beatles.

-oh, my God, that's good. I think we would have been Palis-Tig. I was deeply into the Beatles as if I was the first person that discovered them.

That was me. When I was in elementary school, we had this friend that lived in England, and it's so hilarious because, of course, we could buy Beatles records in the States. But he would come from England to visit us, and he would bring me and my brother, Beatles records, Rolling Stones records, The Who. I got into the British invasion well after it happened. I was so into all of that when I was in elementary school. My brother went a little more Stones and I went a little more Beatles. But yeah, if I was able to do a report on somebody, it was always John Lennon.

I would have been like, Who are the Beatles? Can we get some Jimmy Buffett going?

You weren't into the Beatles as a kid? No. Jimmy Buffett, huh?

I mean, yeah, or Vanilla Ice. I don't know what to tell you. Jimmy Buffett or Vanilla Ice, baby.

And Alf, of course.

-cherryberry, Alf, Prince.

-my tastes were not refined yet.

Listen, Jimmy Buffett was a really great songwriter, and he's obviously very known for Margaritaville.

Yeah, I'm out there yelling, Salt, salt, salt.

I've never heard this.

Margarita Bell? No.

Oh, my God. This is so hilarious.

Some people say that there's a woman to blame. It's never a woman to blame. Never a woman to blame. You don't know that song? Never. I've got cheeseburger and Paradise. Paradise.

No, that's not a real song.

Yes, he played it for like 30 years.

He just died.

Really? But do you know who Jimmy Buffett is?

No.

You've never heard the name, Jimmy Buffett. Are you having a tick moment?

I recognized the name, but is he.

Called is he called Buffet?

Is he called Buffet? Because his songs are all about food and drinks?

Well, they're not all that. What is that? The fence to the left, fence to the right. He was the guy that started the island music.

The other thing you're not going to be aware of.

I don't know.

What that. Well, he's wearing the floral, what do you call him? The Hawaiian shirt? Yeah. It was a big thing. People would tailgay all day for his concerts. He sang the same songs for 30 years. But if he played new stuff, everyone's like, Boo, sing.

Cheeseburg in Paradise. My old assistant who lives in our guest house at our office, he is such a parrothead, which is what his fans are called. That's what his fans are called. What? Patrick is such a parrothead that he started his own Jimmy Buffett podcast that got picked up by Margaritaville, Jimmy's brand. Now he's got, I think, an XM radio show for Jimmy Buffett.

Have you heard of the hotel or restaurant Margaritaville?

No.

Oh, my God. You're not even eating any coconut shrimp.

I'm allergic to coconut.

Yeah, we've gone over this.

I forgot.

It just seems.

Crazy to me that- This is blowing my mind, May.

It seems crazy.

To me that- I don't think I'd meet anyone who doesn't know who Jimmy Buffett is.

I just don't like that it's Cheeseburg in Paradise because you think you'd call it hamburger in heaven. I think that's catchier.

Cheeseburg in Paradise. Paradise.

I have never heard of that. I have never heard of that. I have never heard of that. I know, but what.

Are some other verses in that song? I can't think of it. How else does it go, Tigg?

We could get Patrick on the horn.

Do you remember how the.

Rest of the song goes? I don't remember.

Tried to admit my carnivorous habit, made in nearly 70 days. I'm so, so, so, so picking up something. Well, at night I have this….

Is it actually about a cheeseburg? Yeah.

What? I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes, hines, French, and French fried potatoes.

Okay, you got to send me some clips. I got to get into this.

And then it shows people… When he's saying Margaritaville, people would yell, Salt. Salt. Salt.

I just can't believe that people were at these concerts going nuts. It's the most mellow music ever.

That's because they're drinking what TIG likes.

Margaritas. Skinny Margaritaville. Did I just create something?

Skinny Margaritaville. This is a weight loss camp. It's called Skinny Margaritaville.

Oh.

My God. You had a margarita when we went out, you, me, and Stephany, and I took you to the only vegan restaurant I've.

Ever heard of. I don't think it was vegan, right?

No, for the most part, not. But there were someThere was quite a bit of vegan stuff.

I'll take you to Craig's. Then you can eat vegan food, and I can eat not vegan food.

I've been to Craig. What's Craig's?

Craig's is in West Hollywood. It's like an Italian joint, but that also has a pretty decent size vegan menu.

Okay. I'm going to Airbnb this weekend that I rented as a surprise birthday party for this woman who I'm heavily involved with.

This woman? I was like, Who.

Is this for? You didn't have to be a woman. That's for.

My.

Girlfriend. She doesn't know?

She knows that we're going to an Airbnb and that a couple of people are coming, but she doesn't know the extent. I'm really nervous. I've never successfully pulled off. I don't think I've ever planned a surprise party. It says on the Airbnb thing, no parties. Do not have parties.

Wait, you're doing it anyway?

It's too late now. I've invited everyone.

Oh, my gosh.

But it's a day sign. What are you going to do? Wait, is it down in the Palm Springs area? Because they are very ornery about that stuff.

It's Malibu, and I'm hoping because it's run by one of those companies that runs a lot.

They won't be checking.

Wait, we have an Airbnb in Malibu where we have a message that says that you can't have parties.

Wait, you have an Airbnb?

No. Oh, my God.

I was like...

I was insane. I would like to stay there. I have.

A really great fix for this issue.

Oh, what?

Have everybody dress in the exact same costume. A long trench coat, a mustache, black-rim glasses, a hat, and then it just looks like the same person.

That's actually brilliant.

Moving from.

Room to room.

Then you were like, We think the same person keeps coming in.

Keeps arriving to the Airbnb. It looks like the tape is glitched.

Yeah, have everyone go buy the same outfit. You need to have everyone buy a sweatshirt because trenchcoats, that's a lot. Let's go with a sweatshirt and a mullet.

Have everyone buy mullets. A trench coat is going to hide the different body types and heights and stuff.

If it's a trench coat, you want two kids, one on the shoulders.

But if they have dark jeans, dark sweatshirt, mullet.

I have a better idea. What do you got? It's not too big of a stretch more with investing in this. You got to buy a few, like four of those big horse costumes, where.

Two.

People or three people are in there and somebody's on the shoulders. You could put a mullet on the horses, and then they all just clomp into the party.

That's fun as part of the surprise. Yeah.

Then you say, Where does it say no horses at the party?

Show me the clause where it says no horses.

Also, here's how you can do it. You can have one horse comes to the party that you got three people crammed in that suit. That sounds like.

A start of a joke. One horse comes to the party. That sounds like a.

Start of a joke. One horse comes to the party. This is no joke. I'm trying to help you have a successful party down at Malibu Beach. You got three people crammed in the horse clump suit. Then you get one of those things where three people sit on each other's shoulders, and then they're eight feet tall. You get three people threaded into there. That's six already. That's six people, and then the others just come in as people.

Two horses and two giants. That's 12 people.

Two horses and two giants walk into an Airbnb.

Then it's me, my girlfriend, and her daughter, and then two horses and two giants. That's the 15th. That's good.

Yeah, and you can put mullet wigs on all three of them, the horse and the two giants.

Problem.

Solved. Nothing to see here. Then everyone just clomps into.

The party. How many are on the giant?

Three people? Yeah.

You need someone that canreally... You need a very firm base.

Yeah. Fortune's right.

About this. It's like a Russian nesting doll. They need to get smaller as they go up.

Yeah. Good thing the rock is coming and he can be the base.

On one of them. Good thing we're thinking all this stuff through right now.

We were worried about your situation, and now I'm not worried.

Yeah, so have a good time. I'm bummed. I'm not going to the party as a horse.

You could be a surprise.

Buy a trench coat. Suit tig.

I put a trench coat on my horse suit.

Well, that'll be fun. I've never thrown a surprise. I don't think I've thrown a surprise.

Party, so. Well, I mean, she knows there's something going on. I keep being like, Do you want to know in advance? She's like, No. That doesn't.

Sound like you're trying to keep the surprise. I know.

It's because I would hate it. I would want to know.

Okay, I don't mind being surprised. So if you guys ever want to throw me a party with a bunch of horses. Let's do it. Titch, get your cowboy hat out.

Has anyone thrown you a surprise party?

Back in college, I got thrown to a surprise party. That was really, really cool. Jacks has surprised me with some friends coming over. During the thick of the quarantine, I had a big milestone birthday, and she had two of my best friends surprise me. They made me a pie and sat 10 feet away in the backyard. Oh, that's nice. Wee. But honestly, I was like, It's not how I expected to celebrate that birthday, but just having any joy. I was like, I'll take it.

When is your birthday?

July first. Oh, great. Canada Day.

Oh, great. Canada Day. Yeah. Have we been over this?

Teg one's yours? March 24th. Yeah. Day before Elton John's birthday day.

Huge. I actually do have the same birthday as the Rock, May second.

May, it was born in May.

Yeah. Wow. David Beckham, The Rock.

All the great - May Martin.

May.

Martin. You know who I share a birthday with is... What's his name? He's a football player. Oh, well. And then I also -.

Tom braided?

No, no. It's the only one I know. I don't know why I brought this up. My apologies. Then the other one is the football player on the Bills that got hurt. I don't know if you -.

Oh, yeah.

There's a big moment when he got Lamar Hamlin. Demar Hamlin, I'm sorry.

Hamlin. Pied piper of Hamlin.

Oh, my God. What a full circle moment, you guys. We are so handsome.

That is crazy.

Wow. Who knew that we'd be able to.

Do that? Whoa.

What a podcast. What a podcast.

That was electric.

Boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie.

Anyway, we have to capture that moment of Fortin saying what a podcast? What a podcast?

What a podcast?

And make that, what is that? A meme or whatever this? Yeah, I can't remember. Other people have my birthday, I'm sure.

Jimmy Buffett, probably. Oh, brought Jimmy Buffett back.

Oh, what a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast.

Everyone put your fist in.

The air.

Should we listen to what Mike Berbiglia's answer is?

Right, Mike. Oh, yeah. Let's hear what Mike has to say.

I think the reason that this is my question was that for me, it's everything. I'm surprised that I am married. I'm surprised that I have a child. I'm surprised that I'm a stand-up comedian. I'm surprised that I left Massachusetts and lived in New York. I actually think about this all the time because I could not have predicted any of it. Anyway, thanks for having me on.

Thanks, Mike.

That's very in keeping with everything we said, right? Just like, I can't believe that I am a function person. A person. Well, yeah, that I'm a person.

I think it's a testament to you can accomplish anything beyond your wildest dreams. So don't ever think that you have to limit yourself or think that you can't do something that seems hard or impossible because you just never know. So why not try?

Yeah.

I was trying to be motivational because I didn't get to be a motivational speaker.

Well, you can.

Always- This is my moment.

Well, you can always wrap up each episode moving forward with a nice little motivational wrap-up with fortune.

Your own little fortune cookie.

We should end with a group, What a podcast.

What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast.

What a podcast.

Oh, man, this episode had everything. It had laughs. It had music. It had silences. Acid silences. Silence and motivational moments of deep thoughts and feelings.

Rumpelstilt's skin. We should also remind people that we're doing a live show, December 18th. I'm so pumped at dynasty, typwriter, but also that you can watch it from anywhere in the world. You can live stream it. Let's get a million people to watch.

Oh, my gosh.

Let's do it.

We would be in the Book of World Records for sure.

I think we could pull that off.

Between now and the 17th. Because no one's watched. There's never been a million people that's watched anything before. I feel like.

People don't really -They go out for world records like they used to in the '70s and '80s.

You're so right. That used to be huge.

If I could predict, I think at some point in our lifetime, May will attempt to break a world record of some sorts.

Oh, I know what it's going to be. What? You're going to ride a motorcycle over a bunch of barrels.

I could see that.

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's in your future, man. That's in your future. Good luck. Be careful out there.

Please. I thought you were going to say something nerdy.

A lot of barrels.

Correcting the most grammar in one hour, but like...

You never know. Well, it'd still be nerdy if that's what you really set your mind to. Well, because.

I'll be wearing one of those hats with.

The propellers. Yeah, it'll help you take flight.

Yeah, it'll lift me up.

As well. Take it away. What do we got coming up?

Well, our live, handsome show is coming up on December 18th, Fortune. You can join in the from anywhere in the world. Tickets are sold out in person, but you can join us streaming live on the internet by going to dynastytypwriter. Com. That's dynastytypwriter. Com to see our live streaming show, December 18th.

We also have some other cool stuff, tig. What do we have?

Merchandise.

Yeah, for our.

Hands, for our listeners. Yeah, we got merchandise. We got tote bags, we got hats.

We got stickers.

Yeah, all your favorite words on those things, too.

Those can be found at handsomepod. Com.

I do think we should make some merch that says... What was it? When I'm naked, I know what I'm up to. Or something. Okay.

Keep the list going, Thomas.

Keep the list going. , that's right. Well, I hope if you guys enjoyed this episode, you'll give us a five-star or a view. It certainly is appreciated by all of us.

Yes.

You can also share the episode with friends. If you're thinking, Oh, my gosh, I need to turn my friend on to this show. Here's a perfect example of the show. Send it over to them.

Yeah, if you're like, The Jimmy Buffett fan in my life needs to hear this.

I can't wait to bring in some parrot heads on this episode. Yes.

But thank you so much for listening.

Yeah. Is there any handsome stuff you would like our listeners to know about May?

Yes, Fortune. November 29th, I'm a dynasty typwriter with Stephanie Allen and Atlanta doing a live-streamed improv show. Then Largo, December second and 11th.

Nice. What about you, Fortune?

I'm going to be on the road doing stand-up November 30th in Kansas City. After Christmas, I have St. Petersburg, Orlando, Jacksonville, and West Palm Beach, Florida. Just added shows in Vancouver, Toronto, Los Angeles, New Jersey, London. I'm going to Europe for London and Amsterdam. So get your tickets at my website, fortunefimester. Com.

Teg, what about you?

Oh, thanks for asking. I'm going to be in College Park, Maryland, January 26th, and then Waterville, Maine, March ninth. So go to tignotaro. Com, get all show information there.

Well, thanks for listening. And as always-.

Keep it handsome.

-keep it handsome. Should we do a what a podcast?

Yeah.

What a.

What a podcast. What a podcast.

Hansom is hosted by me, tignotaro, May Martin, and Fortune Femester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wallet. Email us at Hansompod. Com. At Gmail. Com. Follow us on social media @hansompod.

What a podcast. What a podcast.

That was electric.