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Hey, what's up, impulsive family? If you're watching this, congratulations. You survived 20 20. It's been a wild 100 plus episodes of Impulsive. And we wanted to thank you all for your never ending support and continuing to make us the number one podcast in the world to celebrate. We pulled together a list of some of the craziest moments we've had this year. Please sit back and enjoy compulsives top 20 moments of 20/20.
I know I said the top 20, but that was just for titling purposes, we're starting at number 16, the spinless man from upclose and even piracy, and it can be detrimental to their defenses.
For five minutes, he's just doing this Russian accent, talking about Panzner things, that chick guy that's neither here nor there or really anywhere.
To be honest, I didn't see anything.
So he's doing this actually at the bar and everyone's laughing. The one guy's like, how you sound like a drunk Irishman, a bartender, by the way. The bartenders are involved. Everybody's fuckin chillin.
I'm on a rampage and I'm and I'm looking around because I notice, you know, Mike, when he gets excited, he it's a little like he wants more people to get involved, which is great.
Yeah, it was great. Everyone was involved except the old P.D.A couple. And I'm kind of clocking them up for my peripherals.
And I see they're getting a little more aggravated and agreed. And I know they're the type of people that won't say anything until they explode, until they blow up. Was it like mid smooch and they were getting it? Yeah, they were making out, by the way. They last saw them, too.
They were like they were being like very over P.D.A like they were full make out session.
Like even my sister said to me, she was like, after you keep it going, you know, it was just it was jumping.
It was just like it was a little unnecessary. But whatever they're doing the thing, we're doing our thing. No problem. Go ahead. And so, you know, Mike reaches a point where it's it's it's it's peak.
Mike is the only way to I saw a pregnant woman walk by and I was like, wow, look at that Species' over there.
She's just dating some sort of organismal or some so complete and utter bullshit. If it's like this couple, they had like a countdown in their heads.
They're like three to one. Both of them stood up the same time.
And they're like, what is wrong with you? And the guys? Like, you know what, buddy? You're being sold out. And the lady turns to Mike and says, an unforgettable line that pretty much set the tone of the entire trip. She turns him, she looks in the eyes.
She goes, have, you know, couth, no class, no class. Mike, without skipping a beat, doesn't hesitate, doesn't break character. He goes zero. Absolutely none. Not even an ounce. There was a negative number. That's how much couth I have, bro. You can imagine like that's not the type of response she was looking for or that she was looking for.
She was looking for a very specific response, which was, ma'am, I am so sorry about. Excuse me.
She goes, she goes, have you know this was the timing of it. Couth have, you know, couth zero. Absolutely not. Even in bro I it was it was it was one of my favorite moments of Mike in my life because I've never seen anyone react with that amount of like confidence and and calmness. And so the guy gets mad because obviously this is not the way he's look. They're looking for an apology or something or some sort of retreat.
Listen, buddy, you're not the guy I want to do this with. Now, keep in mind, this guy is, I would say probably late 50s, early 60s. He's got a bit of a hunch. He's also hammered. He's hammered. He's slurring his speech. So they go to walk away. And my Mike's mikes still on is like, I you know, there's not there's nothing here for you.
I have no clue for you. And the guy comes up to Mike and he approaches him. Did he grab you on the shoulder? He got close. He like he approached he came up to Mike.
Mike sitting down, by the way. And I, hey, I'm watching this and I'm right next to him.
I hate the one person standing on one person sitting down in a bad situation for the sitter. Facts are the most most of this.
In this particular circumstance, there was nothing he could've done. He could have dropped in from a fucking airplane. He still would. It would have been probably the guy goes, you don't want to do this with me, buddy.
And at this point, it was Batman. I got the I was Christian Bale.
I got my feet kicked up and I thought I thought I'd use my newfound powers. So I look at him and I go, Sir, before you do this, I have to let you know I'm a professional boxer. Oh, do that on it.
Yeah, like just in that voice, calm as fuck.
And then he turns to me and what came out of the man's mouth next you no. Will be written about by scholars for years to come. You think my response to that have, you know, couth question was trickery and sorcery.
What this man said next changed the course of time and history and humanity. We it created a rift in space time that then represented the remainder of our evening for hours discussing just this one thing.
Tell me I go. Sir, I do have to let you know I am a professional boxer. He turns to me, locks eyes and he goes.
He goes, I just had to go see what I just had spinal surgery.
Oh. And so like literally but. But like in so we just both go like this, we go oh no no no. Not even like, but like how do you respond to that. It's called the classic smoke bomb. We talk about this, we thought we are the master that smoke bombs have, you know, couth zero negative integer. Apply it lady. Smoke bombs, smoke bomb. You just like. Where am I? What universities do you just threw a flash bang, flash bang, concussion grenade.
Both me and l.P go down to earth. I'm like, I go, I go. Then what are you what are you doing this? What are you doing? So this dude just got done telling me because I have no spinal cord, I am an exoskeleton. So we have no idea how to handle this situation.
His wife like drags him away and then we're like, yo, did we just need to talk about a frost fire by one of those wavy arm in arm guys that they put outside the car dealership?
Number 15, smashing the can say goes my ex girlfriend's dad, Jose Canseco, please read this. Jose Canseco, the fact that he said the Logan Brothers is one of my favorite.
I will I will fight any one of the Logan brothers, basically saying that there's more than six to ten. I'll fight any and one word I will fight any one of the Logan brothers.
He's holding a bat. Read the rest. They have they have enough for anyone. With any type of talent yet or fighting skills is how I would read that. No, that's not what it says, and I believe what he was going he said words and important participles that I think would have made this a complete set.
I'll be happy to translate this. I will fight either I will fight either of the Paul brothers. They they haven't fought anyone with any type of talent yet or fighting skills is what I believe him.
Yeah. Yeah, he's got it right. I understand because I come from a family that speak like this.
So I got it. I got it. I got pig. Latin pig. Well I first generation bro, he knows me.
We I've spent extensive periods of time in his house. Hosie we've played poker together.
We mean Logan brothers, so obviously I couldn't let this slide the fucks my ex-girlfriends dead. I said, no problem, I love Smash. You can say goes No.
Just all right, just all right, one of one of the dirtiest. Oh, my God, Logan, what the fuck is wrong with you, bro? Number 14, sir.
Guru's profound life advice.
Life is a combination of two things. A certain amount of time and certain amount of energy. Time is running away. You do something, you don't do something. You're happy or unhappy? Tick, tick, tick, tick. It's going away for all of us. It doesn't stop for any of us. We cannot say today. I didn't use it. Let me roll it back. There's no such thing. Time is just rolling away. But the only thing that we can manage is our energy, our energies.
We can manage in such a way either. It is. You know, where he makes your life very profound. There are two aspects when it comes to life. One thing is to make your experience of life very profound. Another thing is your activity must be impactful. I think you guys are overly focusing on your activity being impactful. Not invested on making your life profound. Because right now you think Assad will make your profound smoke will make you profound?
Well, it gives you a facade.
I didn't say that. I asked you a question. All right. So I'm saying it doesn't make your life profound. In fact. It makes you frivolous and it is also possible. I'm telling you. During my time, I'm saying when I was in university. I 13 of my friends over a period of seven, eight years, 13 of my friends died. Two drugs overdosing, some riding motorcycles, two while. You know, not knowing where the limit is, trying to ride like somebody else.
All right. You can write to your limit. You can do what somebody does, somebody else maybe doing something else. You must write to your limit, you must know where is your limit and who's down that edge and see how to push that edge, but you don't try to do what somebody else is doing right now. So like this, 13 of my friends in seven or eight years time, about four of them to drugs remaining, nine of them to motorcycles, they lost their lives.
They're all wonderful riders. They rode with me for many years. They're all it's not like in the United States, OK? This is like sitting on my microwave, riding in United States. There is nothing just put it on a cruise and you sit is not like that. In India, riding an elephant can be on the road. All right. And you need to be super alert and intuitive to ride at a certain speed. These are good guys, very good at what they're doing.
But somebody drinks and drives and arrives. Somebody thinks you can smoke and then smoke up and then ride like these kind of things or somebody at any cost who wants to go ahead of somebody, whatever. Essentially not. Calibrating your energies right? Those who died died, many others, they became accountants, they became lawyers, they became something else. They're all my age now. When I look at them, they are all. They're all successful people.
They got money, they got quiet, they got kids all this, but no life in them. So this guy has got some life. Let's see how he handles and manages his energy because time will run anyway. Whether you like it or you don't like it, today gets over, tomorrow happens, tomorrow gets over. It's happening to all of us. So these are the only two ingredients you have. Time and energy. What do you make out of your energy is the profoundness of your life and also the impact of your work?
Number 13. Jeffrey Star is a fine arts dude. What is it? Does it have a penis or. No, it has a penis, but it identifies as not having a penis. Seems like a good time to put hand sanitizer on, I don't know just yet, you give me something to put him in his mouth, open up. So speaking of sniffing shit, this is a lot of sass, right? There's a lot of sass. And I look, I kind of want to see this.
What if I told you that she's worth more?
What if everybody come to my channel? Oh, she's got no. I have been silent for a very long time. I know that's very rare for me.
I've taken a lot of time to do a lot of stuff, but I don't understand.
She identifies as she he he identifies as he.
Well, there is an answer here that doesn't affect you in any way. If you just answer it properly. It Jeffrey, I doubt what is the proper answer, you fucking fuck fucking idiot.
I'm confusing. It is. It's not hateful. No, no. Hey, don't you ever heard of the he have started thinking he is not doing this with the day that we're not doing this. No, it's what does he want to be. He I'll call him whatever you want. He. Yes, that's a fine ass dude. Yes. That's perfect. Cause you go as far as dudes go pretty fine.
Is that all correct you. Because I feel like guys are scared here.
I'm out. I'm not. I'm just trying to make sure I get canceled if you don't know. What if I told you that he he identifies as she is worth more than broken from what? Plus, what does she do? What does he do. Makeup.
Makeup dude makes confusing. This shit is bro we we might, we might need to go to that fucking. You don't know. Oh I didn't know. I didn't know it was like this.
Two hundred million. Those are the same onesies Shultz's were to interrogate Rogan got that. Rogan got that wrong and probably got that but not so what's a she sells makeup. He, he sells makeup. You have to get the on part tonight. Shopping. Can I say something that to me is branding. Right. If you're a he and you do makeup good enough to be ashie. Right. Ugly chicks are going to go, well imagine what I could do with that.
So you see them saying, like, if a dude could become like a bat, it is too bad. Just imagine if you're some fucking ugly girl and you're seeing a guy become a hot girl, you're like, holy shit, that's way further than me becoming a hot girl. Because guy to hot girl is this far right. Ugly girl to hot girls this far. I know how far he's got to go. I feel the guy. And then sometimes you look at him and he's like, I see a little finesse.
I feel like this is OK. I just suck like, George, get back here. Yo, Tony, Tony, this is me. I'm like, you can I am I can I laugh at this like I look at you laugh. I don't know. He's wearing all the makeup he's got. He's trying to trick us. He knows what he's doing. If I wear a Yankee hat, are you like who? Do you like the Red Sox?
No. No, you know who I like? I like the fucking Yankees. So he's dressed me. He's dressed in a way that makes you go. You like dicks or not, buddy? Like, what's the deal? Like, he is being misleading. If he's still. He is. I'm wrong and I look at me. I'm wrong to walk you. You look like a finance chick, right? I'm wrong to come up to you like.
Oh OK. So OK. So let me just let me just pull this back a little bit from that person and from what is going on. No, no. Because the question you're asking this is stupid. You walk around boxing gloves, people go soon, you're boxing, right. And you can be like, oh, fuck. You think I'm going boxing? Just no fucking boxing. The stupidest thing ever.
And then we got to be upset about that. The question you're asking is gender ninety nine point nine percent in life. You're right.
There's ninety nine point nine.
Literally, I can walk around this two people gender and I'm going to be right back. You'll that dude, that's what certain people are trying to say. Oh.
Cat number 12, George Spare's Hayler So you can forgive everybody, I got absolutely hundred percent because everybody and I go Yes and he goes, Hitler comes back to life.
You have a chance to kill him right now, you kill him, I go, no, he goes, why? He's killed millions. What if you killed your mother? I don't know. I go because here's the reason why Hitler at the end of the day, was such a powerful speaker, so motivating, so strong in his situation. When I look at this man or anybody that's like this man, I don't look at just his flesh. There's demons behind him.
And I'm not trying to cast him out. I'm trying to kill the situation that's making him evil, because if I could get him to be a good person, just imagine the good that this person could do. So what I'm saying is, don't look to your neighbor and judge him and get mad at him and want to crucify him. I'm saying, OK, how? Because Max, an artist, if he was using his AR forbad, I know that he uses are for good.
So instead of listening to the devil like he is, I'm not because the devil is going to be in my ear going, fuck Hitler. Look what he did, fucking murdering them.
Inferno. What if you got him in thirty nine prior and he's, and he's like yo somebody says yo in the next seven years this dude is going to put down fifteen million humans bro are you.
And they're like here's a gun but here's a pen where you could write a letter to him and he's like I take the pen and stabbing the stab the living kill. That mother is so quick I would do that. Then I would take the gun. Yeah. Down again. I would find them all the down in his time under a sprinkler, hundreds water. My garden really turned to a shot him up in a little dude and use fertilizer ground. It's a miracle thrown together, not screaming.
I'm talking to you on the plane as Cory. I wouldn't drink that. And they sit out and then like my voice is like that. Anyone he talked to the same thing. They're Hambly Organic Garden. Later, Daimler Chrysler. Now go drink the coffee, piss them out, light it on fire.
Yeah, I would probably just remove remove his hands, like tie him down or talk to him for four months. There's a couple of people that have come before me that I don't have too much patience for. He just happens. He's badmouths. We don't Macedonia. We just want to I just want to leave this.
This is where I'm going to leave that portion of it, because a lot of people say that, like, how many times I'm going to forgive somebody, like how many fucking times am I going to look somebody in the face and be like, bro, you just did that fucking nine hundred times.
I say, if you did a nine hundred, do a nine thousand, if you did a nine thousand, do it a million times. Because I'll tell you why. Every single one of us I know for sure, Mike and I don't know about you and I don't know you, but I know that there's so many times that I've done this.
God, I know I said it wasn't going to do this anymore, but I'm not going to do this anymore.
God, I know we're back again. I know I said this last Tuesday. What I'm saying is when I meet God face to face, he's going to be like the way you didn't judge others, the way you forgave others is exactly how I'll forgive you. Well, no, I didn't ask him.
I didn't ask you. But also, you're not Hitler now. That's what I'm getting at. But I can't be mortal sins. More sins, bro. Yeah, like this one.
I'm asking you like I'm not asking we're not asking him to forgive you for for taking a Snickers bar.
Yeah. That dude sent train loads of Jews into a gas chamber. That's what I get to Saddam. I got to kill. I didn't I didn't give life for me to take. OK, what if what if you go to him in the afterlife, you walk up to him saying to God, to Jesus, God, the Holy Trinity, they're all they're all deep in the middle. And while the guy before you it's like number seven million billion trillion.
Eight hundred twenty six. Come on, it's a guy before you, like, worked at 7-Eleven, loved his wife. You did piss in this person's garden. I'm going to let you come on and come on. And then it comes to you. He goes, I was God-Fearing, didn't respect Jesus, had a great wife by the Bible. She was incredible. Didn't kill Hitler.
Dude starts tapping the starts to to do you know who. Can I ask you a question. There's there's there's something else is you didn't kill Hitler. Were you friends with them. Was your son you like someone you a mustache. I would say this, I would say this.
Who is the one who found Jesus when he came back? Who is the one there was 12 disciples, all men, who is the one that found Jesus when he came back? It was a preeta. It was a prostitute, woman, man.
So wait, what I'm saying is why, why?
Why did you decide to show himself to a prostitute woman to go and relay the news to the to the 12 men or 11 men that were walking with them? Got it.
But if you don't go away now, if you told me that Jesus decided to show himself to a person who was gas chamber and humans, we'd have a different conversation here. A girl who sold her body for sex. Trust me, I'm cool with that back. And if anybody's going there, it's fucking me when I'm with my girlfriend, came up to me tomorrow to is like all night and I'm like, baby, I can't fuck with you anymore.
As a matter of fact, just leave aside. I get a Sivas somehow. Just whack bro. I'm sorry. I can't bro. You cannot be a part of my my squad if you're messing with Hayzlett amount of saying don't kill him. What good is that?
Listen, I know you killed millions of people, but you killing him in the same eyes you took a life away is hey, George, you can't take a life, bro. You got it's like the devil. Like if I told you I could kill the devil, I wouldn't.
It's not my place. That's God's place. I don't take anybody's life. What about God's servants that are sent to kill mother fuckers? That's God, sir. It ain't me. I can talk to you at Trader Joe's if you want to talk about Christ. We break open a passage by taking nobody's life. I have never, never.
You could kill my mother. I'll never take your life. I'd rather. I would rather you live and try to repent. So that way me, my mother and you can make it to heaven.
No eleven. Logan gets emotional.
Logan, does this make you mad. What. Just like talk to all this negativity on the internet.
We talked about this not not mad a like I said, a very strong feeling of despair like of like hopelessness almost.
And what what about you and what amplified that for me? Because I said I said I saw some sad shit that day. There was a young man. Who came up to me in the airport, he wheeled his wheelchair up to me, dude had the fucking best energy. He's just like me. He was from the UK. He's like, I'm a big fan. My girlfriend's a big fan. Would you mind making a video? Her name's Tully, so I made a video for him.
We just talked in the airport, had had a brief conversation and this dude smile, smiled at me just like like lift me up, get on the plane.
As I'm boarding the plane, I said, fuck, I'm going to get emotional actually talking about this. Oh, fuck, yeah, there's always a Paul brother crying on the show. It's like the man with you. Oh, no, I love seeing I didn't even think he had feelings.
So I'm getting off the plane and I see this dude seated towards the front of the plane as everyone's debauching. And he's waiting there and I was like, Hey, man. He goes, Thanks again. Look, I appreciate I go, but I have a good day. Yeah, it's my pleasure. And I walk past him and I realize he's waiting for the entire plane to board before he gets in his wheelchair and then leaves the plane. And like that made me realize, like, you don't you don't even think about or understand the problems that people are having and putting your life into perspective.
Like I got I got so much like empathy and respect for him and the way he moves about his life and still having the energy that he had.
And, yeah, like like a like a real sense of like existential hopelessness stemmed from, like all this shit. I'm like I'm crying about it, but.
Yeah, man, do you want to know why he's so happy, by the way, he's a perspective expert. When I was when I was in New York City last week with Lana, we went for a quick night. She got done with what she was doing at her job, whatever she did some feature. That was three thirty in the morning. We rolled out we walked over to Joe's Pizza. We were walking in. Probably about the same age as that guy, same kind of bill, white guy in a wheelchair, except he wasn't waiting for everyone to board a plane.
He was sitting outside Jospeh and twenty six degree weather with a sheet over him shooting heroin into his foot. S. So so like it's a it's just a perspective thing like that guy Logan made that video for, he knows that someone, somewhere is suffering immensely worse than he has. And so it's it's it's but yeah, I mean, I saw the effect that it had on him because he was just like, you know, if he if he's if he's moving about his life with the positivity that he has, what the fuck am I going to complain about some petty bullshit like, yo, shut the fuck up, dude.
People are always whining about something and it can and it can get so much worse.
Like, please just check yourself. Check yourself before you whine about something. Number 10, James Charles coming out story.
I got caught, you know, like doing the business jerking off. Yeah. To to gay porn.
OK, ok, ok. Sometimes you just feel out know you need to run this.
I was, I was like 12 and my dad came in, in the middle of the night and like open the door and thank God. Well it's OK. So I used to have I've always been a DIY cleaner like a.. Like queen. Like I said, I just have to in my room. Both of them were like, oh, like very like the sliding door but deep closet. Right. And I converted one of them in like a little tumbler desk area with, like my iMac that I had saved up for my Tumblr codings.
So I had it like and there so I walked in and saw me like butt naked without doing it.
I think it was like like, oh, no, OK, you know what I mean. Like like butt naked pants that are like naked pants pants down, but everything is out.
Yeah. And he's like, what the like you need to go to bed. So I'd like to turn off a computer like flung myself across the room and like just like once bad, cried myself to sleep, was like scared as fuck. But he couldn't see the computer screen from the doorway like the doorway was here and like it was against this wall and the desk was like in in the wall so he couldn't see it. And the next I was too scared to like, touch my computer.
So the next day I went to school and then when I got home, I was still like too scared to do anything. And then, of course, I don't think we need to talk about this. And can you show us your history? And my dumb ass forgot to clear it.
No, I was going to close your eyes, but thank God to this day. That's right. I was I would hear three calls at forty five. James I literates. I called my bookmarks on my father didn't feel like literally I was so embarrassed and like that's how I got caught.
I honestly thought that it happened that way. Yeah that's right.
Because the day the conversation was more like hey you shouldn't be like on these websites, like it's really dangerous for you to be doing this and like also like naked sitting in front of your window, like, who knows who could die without no judgment, but we love you that so I like that was a lot easier than having to be like, hey, mom, dad, I'm gay.
Number nine, Jake, Paul gets vulnerable. I'm twenty three.
And it's like, what do I want out of this life?
And I just had like started having like super like deep thoughts. And then that's why I was like, you guys, I need to come talk to you. And I just I talked to his friends. That's what it was about. Did that help you? Yes.
Yes. So much so. I'm getting like a little teary, but. Yeah, and then I wake up the next day and like have a phone call, like with my lawyers for one of the lawsuits, and I knew that it was going to be like a big al and like I'm just sitting on the phone call for literally like it's like something I did not do. Like, it's it's and it goes back to, like, people just like attacking Jake Paul and like wanting to see me fail.
For literally like it's nothing like. They're suing me for something I didn't do, like on God, it's just the most bullshit thing, and I literally had to pay them a lot of fucking money for no reason. And I think it just pisses me fuck off of it. And then. You could take a break, take a break. Yeah, take a breather and sit for a second. I want you I fucking hate to give your brother a hug before I do.
Maybe you could sit on that side with him for a second.
Anybody know I just hate it. I'm good, I have thick skin, but it's like it just like so annoying. It's like. Why am I giving not only did I spend my time, my effort, my energy, my mom, my mom is like always on spending hours of her day and when she's retired, like she should be fucking she's in Hawaii.
On a fucking lawsuit phone call, and they're like, yo, your son has to pay this, like it just looks so stupid and like. So much time, effort and energy, and it's like but it's also compounded right by by by a number of issues, by by you're constantly dealing with hate from from a certain especially from a certain sector of the online community.
If you're you're dealing with the same thing that your brother did, which was the idea that you have to reinvent yourself to stay relevant, which is a massive pressure, a massive pressure, not to mention a number of other things that, you know, some the Internet knows about and some that they don't. But I as someone that's thirty five looking at you, knowing you, I know for a fact that this is having a massive compound stress on your mind.
I know that. And I know that prior to all this, even when you were top of the top, you were already struggling with anxiety. You've told me since the day I met you, it's something that we've been able to relate on very well, that you struggle with racing thoughts, the inability to stop that feedback loop, which is the same shit I deal with, and now see you struggling with all of these other things compounded on top of it.
And then to see people dismissing all of it online and saying that you don't fucking know what it's like to struggle. Is a lot for me to deal with, and I'm not even new, yeah, no. Eight Lily Ponds, worst hookup story. I know what I want in this guy comes over. I know how I didn't like him because I met him one time and then I was like, I don't like you, but I'm so, you know, like 24 and this is the time.
And I haven't had sex in like six months. Right. So like, come over. You look like a guy that's like good in bed. You have abs and everything. So I want to stop you.
Right. I want to stop let's actually stop for a second. Any fucking true. OK, it's not true. That's why I want to get there. OK, go. I'm not done yet. It's not to just get to have good sex. I just proved that. So OK, so this guy comes in right. He gives me an Orckit.
I have like fifteen in my house so I just put it next to the fifteen or I had and he comes in and he's just like I want to cook for you.
And I was like, this guy's wanting a fucking relationship, you know? And I'm like, oh shit. Yeah. And and he was like, OK, I'm going to put some songs up. And like, I'm like I like Latin songs and he's like, I don't really like Latin. Oh no. And I was like, I one. What, strike one. Yeah. Right. And then he, he sees like I did a documentary and then he sees like the thing I have like I had like a little I don't know what to call it.
Yeah. I post right. And he was like, oh you have like OCD or Tourette's. And that was like yeah. And he was like, can I see you in action.
You not say you did not say I do that song. No he did not say yeah he can I see you in action. And I was like what are you like. Like no. Well that was strike when I was like sorry I can't really like show you like whatever like that, you know.
So he's just got this is coming off your disorder like it's some sort of like amusement circus. I know. I know. And then well that was strike one and then like I hate strike to strike two. So he makes me like dinner and I don't like fish. Right. So I, I put the I like try to like not eat it, but I put it in my, in my pocket. Oh my God. They did not stuff fish in my pocket.
Yeah. So I put fish in my pocket, told them I ate it up but I was so hungry obviously. So he makes me pasta and you know it's really weird because you know I am from Venezuela and I don't like spicy food. I don't like that is hard. I don't like spicy.
I don't know why he put a ghost pepper. He put this. You just told them.
I don't like I don't like spicy. He was like, it's a little spicy, you know. And I was like and it was really spicy, whatever. I hated it. Anyways, I literally told him I was like, OK, let's oh no. I'm like, let's put like he was like, what do you what do you like to do. Like for fun. So I was like something like showing him a picture of like this thing I like I did with like swimming with sharks.
And he was talking to me while I was searching it and he goes Hi.
And I was like, hey, I was a real standout guy. And I go, what the fuck? And he was just like, sorry, I have anger issues on the first night.
Do you think you were on an episode of parts? I'm not done yet.
So I'm like, whatever. Like I go to the bathroom, I drink my tequila because you still want to give this a try.
This is why don't you do this physically? He's great. So like I said, ticketless. I can forget everything I just happened. He like opens the door.
He's like, are you just, you know, alcoholic?
I was like, no, like I just wanted to finish it because it was just laying there. Whatever. I was drunk finally. And I go, I'm like, let's just go upstairs and fuck. Very nice. Very nice. Yeah. Let's just go upstairs and, you know, like do what we have to do. And he was just like, he goes upstairs, OK, from from 12 to three all we did was kiss. I was like, what the fuck.
And then I try to touch him. And he was like, no, I was like, OK. He was like, wait for it. It's going to be worth it.
And I was I made you wait. He made you OK.
He said he said to me, Oh, Lord, fall asleep and I'll wake you up when it's up.
And this sort of impulsive is brought to you by blue eyes. You never get in this situation. I go, I go, I go. And I was like, I'm a dumb ass, I'm drunk. I was like, OK. So I fall asleep and and then he wakes me up at five, two hours.
He's like, it's ready, shutterbugs.
Oh, this is not a real story. This is not real for Lilly. Lilly No, not very real. This is a disaster. My mom is downstairs. She's like she's not he's not out yet. Like it wasn't supposed to be here. So.
Well, it took two hours to come to ours.
We are not done yet. Oh. So so he literally.
I'm not done yet. This keeps on going. So he wakes me up. I'm like so tired.
I was like, OK, whatever. I want this anymore. Right. And I'm still here.
So like he wakes me up and he's just like you, like I turn around, he doesn't want me to see his penis.
So I turn around and you see like a small penis go, oh, it goes like you know, he's like, oh, false alarm. Go back.
Oh. I'd go back to sleep drunk, so go back to sleep five, 30. Finally, he is ready. So he wakes me up five thirty six now six. So you may have softs just with a simple glance.
And that's the power of Lilibet. No smell does actually turn you off. She smells good. You look at this and say, wow, that can't be a vagina. Yeah, it's like trout. So what happens on a fish in my pocket?
He woke me up again and he was like he put he like, whatever, like whatever we started. And then he was like, how do you like it? And I was like, I mean, I like it like calm, you know, like or like if I don't care, like, you know, like choke me or whatever, you know.
And she's like and then he murdered me. I'm not dead. He's dead. And I had to revive my mom. Revive. But there's a difference between, like, rough and rude. All right.
So it was spit on. You know, he goes he's like, OK. He goes like, are you enjoying it? And I was like, yeah, back. And I was like, yeah, join me again. I was like, no, where where's he had you like here.
And that's aggravated in your face. That's aggravated assault. I mean I said I liked it rough, you know, and you're the type you a little bit. I was like, sure, but he was just like, call me your king, like your kings. You got a two week stick, you got a two inch dick. That's six hours to get on. Even the prince, you're passionate about the case. That's what I said. This is why you would do with ABS.
So get you a man with a beer belly. Yeah, his abs like this up here, got his abs this up here and he was like, oh my fucking green bitch. And I was like, oh, all right. You're like, you're my peasant. And I was like, all right. And then all of a sudden I start hearing his fun and it's three hundred sixty five day soundtrack, you know, like we're sorry.
Yeah. Ringtone. Yeah, like, you know, the one I like because he was like, I know you can.
I told him I like 265 days, which is like a sex movie, but he wanted to be the guy apparently and like put song in the background or whatever, OK, the song and then whatever he lets say when he finished I was like, that's what I like in that picture.
Back up again. He told me he was like, was it worth it? And I go, Sure.
And he was like, OK, well do you want to go out right now and like get something to eat and walk around at seven and eight in the morning.
Thirty to seven. Well I think thirty two.
Hey man it's the sun hasn't come up yet. Yeah. No.
So then I realized then I realize maybe this guy's coked out, you know. Oh I told you so. That's what I was going to say. So, so, so there's a lot of there was a lot of the you know, the quick explosion. Shelby in action. Are you listening to me? Soft dick cocaine has a massive effect on on sex drive. And I'm on, you know, erection strength.
Yeah, I know. From experience not doing any more, but I know from the past. But this guy sounds like a coked out two inch dick abs fish in pocket asshole No.7 Logan's sex tape.
Jay texted me. He's like, Oh. You suck to Dick. Yeah, I was I was like I texted back, I go, I did. He goes is on Twitter.
Check Twitter as I go on Twitter. Login. Paul is trending. And so, you know, when I see my name turning out, I put on my vest. He Riggall my bulletproof vest. I'm like, this is a what is it this time? Look at the tweet slogan, Paul suck the Dick Logan, Paul Logan politics fucking video leaked and I'm you.
I'm really scrubbing my memory this time. I'm like, oh my. Oh my God. Did I get I'm like, I know I party hard. Is it like Cancun in 2003?
That's what was I'm like so I'm like I yo, I'm, I'm not. I told Mike I go, I'm 99 percent sure I did not suck a dick, but who knows. Yeah.
Like I mean it could have been like a wild ass night the night before anything.
And just you just Deep Throat. Exactly. You know.
So Mike goes back to the table and I brief him, I oh, Mike, stop. He goes, why go? This one's weird out of this moment right here. We've had a lot of these moments, I think like three or four. It's always at dinner because we talk about this on barstool sports afterwards, always at dinner. Usually when we're traveling, it's happened in multiple locations. The last time was for his heated remarks on abortion during the cast lead up.
And I'm like, I'm trending. And then it's just a race like what do we do? Get the PR team on the line, get the management on the fucking line. Everybody come together to try to out crisis management.
But this time we have a crisis crisis. There's no t in that word. It was a crisis that we did not call it didn't do any.
This was the first time or at least we didn't think.
We didn't think I was. I was hands off my mouth on.
Hands off. Yes, but not nice.
I go, Mike, this one's weird. A video of a guy, my doppelganger, who looks like me sucking a dick like he. I'll just say he's getting face fucked upside down like this is this is the position of of of millennials, like, you know, how girls are flipping upside down on the bed, hanging off the edge.
Now, I don't know that he does know I didn't watch it. Not at all. But I know. Have you ever upside down face fucked a woman before? Do you know what he's talking about?
We'll see what he means. What does that mean? I don't know. We'll see. No, I know you want to talk about a past event is saltworks.
We'll see by by the way, that the best thing that could happen where you saw sort of I will say I it's cool that I was trending.
Right. Staying relevant. I just wish it wasn't for having a dick in my mouth, being my alleged mouth. So so Mike's like, don't worry, it'll blow over.
Why does everything have a hidden. Don't worry. I know it sucks man, but this one's really going to blow over. Trust me. You're really going to come to the store down my throat. It'll blow any.
Isn't the quote like any publicity. Good publicity.
Yeah but I've come out said this before. That is, that is so not true. And there's this, this, you turn this one into something good. I felt good from a third party perspective. I was like that's that's my boy.
You handle that dick sucking up like a charm. And by the way, his doppelganger in the video, this guy could suck. Really? Yeah. He's going to say, I was this close to looking it up.
I typed it in and then I put my phone away. I was like, you know what? I don't have to see this. Twenty twenty. He's going to go out for me.
By the way, by the way, I think a lot of people gave a ton of respect to the doppelganger dude. And this dude, this dude was getting Ajanta neck javelina.
I have. But I want to but I do want to throw a shout out very quickly to the man with the javelin.
That was a beat.
That was a massive big ol hammer, massive white penis. That's the kind of penis I'm used to seeing. I'm black draw, dude. So check it out. This was a fucking fire. Check it out, man. I don't know. Gargantuan hot dog cock. Dude, I found this guy because I'm going to skip ahead here for a second, then we'll go back. But while my first thought was, you know, I got to interview the guy who sucked Dick for me.
I got to find that phenomenal. I got to fucking fire them.
I managed to find the dude who was getting his dick.
Yes, I'm on his page. First off, he's he does porn. He does gay porn. You don't see his his dick is his dick is not only huge, it's everywhere. It's pro. He's there's a video of him saying like, come find me Logan.
He just like slap stick on its thighs a lot. And I'm just like, what is this. Oh my. It's a dark place. It's a dark place for me to be on Twitter. But I knew I had to find the guy, suck the dick. Is he coming on impulsive?
Oh, well, hopefully he doesn't do that. Actually, please, please don't come on.
Come ejaculate on my show. So I talk to him like, hey man, like I got to find the dude. I got to find the guy who looks like me. He's like, hey dude. Like I you know, we we had a real bad breakup. We broke up and he actually never even wanted to do porn. So he kind of like, hates me. You know, some decisions like you can't take back, I was like, you still have some empathy issues, but that sucks.
So I couldn't find the guy. I cannot interview the guy, my doppelganger, my. Yeah, my doppelganger.
So anyways, this happens at dinner. I'm like, Mike, it's not going to blow over. I refresh.
It's like 5000 tweets churn up about three hundred thousand tweets. And so I, I did what I do best and that is troll the entire fucking Internet.
You know, there was there was two responses. It was awesome.
It it was one like, no, I didn't serve the Digg. It wasn't me. Trust me, I'm not Gary but or just like you don't fuck like let's let's let's have some fun with this.
So I tweeted, you know, 100k read tweets not released of full sextape. James, Charles, you're next to which James retweeted or tweeted back sobre. I only go for straight guys.
Look at, look at the numbers. These did wow. 240000 like this does have some good quality internet.
It's number six attack of the plates. Joe Biden, you know, a real contender in the presidential space.
Let's see what he had to say today about running for president.
covid has taken this year just since the outbreak has taken more than 100 year. Look, here's the lives. It's just it's a.
FA, fa, fa, fa. Bro, if he can't be gay guys and say, fuck it, I'm bleeding from my face. Oh, my God, I'm bleeding from my face and I say I'm bleeding from my face. You just can't hear my eyes are watery because it hit the bridge of my nose. It's a sensitive spot. I'm bleeding from my nose. This is the most impulsive moment we've had in the podcast and jobby to get.
I got. Do you see what you are doing to our country? Maybe you just can't read the teleprompter that fast. He had a fucking aneurysm on live TV. What was that? What are you doing right now? I'm screaming. You're very easy to understand sentences which that was not what. Watch that.
You turn your head. I can't see it, but it feels not beautiful. It's dude, there's so much blood.
No, five mikes, lowest moments. You can do this. If you're watching this and you're and you're like, yo, if I get clean tomorrow, Mike, I'm just at zero again. I'm just at the same level as everybody else. Actually, I'm still negative because when I got clean and I walked out of rehab, I walked out of rehab with a four hundred credit score up to my eyes in fucking debt because all I had was a computer that I had porn on porn, porn on porn.
At that point it was so bad I didn't see I didn't know this every day. I didn't know this.
And this is why you are so funny. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Please, I don't want to end up in a place where I need to call my computer. I just to all the money.
But like when you walk out and all of your friends that you went to high school with, they're married and they work for Dell and they have a 401k and they've stock options.
And your mom's driving you to N.A. meetings and you're twenty six or thirty or thirty four.
And you've never once had. Any idea about what to do in this on this spinning rock, but this is crazy. This is fucking crazy. That was me. That was me, bro. Oh, all the way up until probably twenty twenty nine.
Twenty nine years old. I here's what I will say to people watching this that have no clue, that have no clue what they want to do, how they want to do it. Because I was there, I was just there was a store. I was just there was just at it. Let me give you something. I started trying things, I start, I knew, I knew I had something and I didn't know what it was, I didn't know I wanted to be a YouTube or I didn't have the luxury of of knowing what it was.
But I knew I had something. And let me tell you this. If you've made it through addiction or mental illness, you have something. Because a lot of people don't if you are still kicking today. Battling those demons, you have something, because a lot of people didn't wake up today because they couldn't make it, they couldn't cut it and you fucking did. So you have something, but you might not know what it is.
Number four, Spencer leaves impulsive.
How do I even say this with your mouth? I'm moving to Hawaii. Jeff, Jeff, do it. I just said, I'm moving to Hawaii for what I'm still going to be here every Monday, guys, I'm still going to be here every single month. I'm flying back every week. I'm moving by myself to Hawaii. But what the fuck are you talking about right now? How much acid, if you take it in the. A lot.
I took a tab, I can't. Well, what the fuck you talking about? Huh? Yo, it's funny you say that because I'm becoming a fucking racehorse. I'm a toilet. What are you saying right now, the word you're saying things with your fucking stupid lips that aren't making sense. You're moving to an island.
OK, let me let me let me unpack the words you about to move back in here. How did you know I was working? I don't want to say a bunch because I have a lot going on with my personal life.
I do. This is like a D moment. I do.
You're moving to Kuwait. You said no. Kuwait. Sorry, please. No, I mean, I don't want to make it to too deep because, like, there's a lot going on behind the scenes, like I don't want to I don't want to, like, reveal all the personal stuff I've been through, like the family shit I've gone through over the last couple of weeks, like.
It's deep, man, like it's deep, I went to Hawaii for New Years, and when I was out there, I met a group of people that I really, really fuck with. And I've been in L.A. for five years and like do this this place is like it's just not motivating and motivating me anymore. Like, I feel like spiritually I need something I need something new to, like, really dive into. And, you know, the opportunity opened up to to move out there.
So I'm going to move out there. Fuck that. I love you.
And, you know, like I opened up to you personally and I was like, shit's gone down, bro. And like. It's yeah, I mean, it doesn't it doesn't feel like like the end of everything for South, a beginning for me for selfish reasons. Fuck that.
I know, but for you, I love that. I actually actually do love it. Even when he first said it, I know I was like this, but like, I really love that.
Like, it hurts to say, oh, I love that. I love I love a massive shift in life changes.
I think I think it only only spurred big things. That's crazy. Spreads are joining like I like what does to the vibe.
Trigram get a little emotional.
Where do you go to bed today. And he's got a flight. What the fuck is going on right now? Is that why the suitcases is the house? Yeah, Spencer, I agree. It's. You just said you don't even know OPCON. It's Rove looking, oh, if this is your idea of a birthday present or I can I return it is their gift receipt.
Oh, what the fuck does happen that. We're having these. Number three, six nine explains what jail is like. All right, so first night you get to jail, what that feels like when you're like, yo, shit, I'm a B here. I'ma be locked up.
I got locked up at six o'clock, right. I got locked up at six o'clock that night.
I watched the movie on like a Fed phone, like you got some jail.
What is a Fed phone. Not like they gave me like an iPad or whatever. And they said, just lay on the rug like and watch a movie.
I watched Lone Survivor. Oh, great fucking movie. All right. You got to ask the great question. That's a great question, because I know how to do it. If you're where do you find this guy? He's Vulcan's one of Logan's in L.A. Fitness and L.A. Fitness.
And he came up to he came up to me, started doing this shit, the same shit he's doing to you. And trust me, he'll convince you to give him his number. Buddy, this is going to trick you into a friendship five years later is going to be on your podcast. Trust it. Don't go down the rabbit hole up. And I've been doing it. You should give me your number.
Yes, I do. He's literally going to go home and say, Babe, I did great.
I think they're going to have me again. He's crushing his. He's he's Texana right now. You're going to see your parents because I go she goes, should I come? I go natural. I'm nervous. Pray for me to see prayed she must I crush that. Oh, you're doing great. Great, George. So we look ahead to the back, you know, flip your head to the back. Oh no.
This is my own brain. See, I'm smart with my marketing. Oh. I flip it back, OK, you know, but yet, no, first night I got locked up, I was a lone survivor and I was like, definitely, I'm definitely snitching right in it. And then no, seriously, I from the job job, you lay down your stuff in your pillow, you're like not eating will be long. And then last night, the last night when the guy wants to give you a charger for the iPad like not I need it because I know I got a live studio audience.
I'll be here all day.
Number two, America is racist. He is face down, handcuffed, being murdered. Once someone is detained, the police job is over. It doesn't matter if he was on a murderous rampage. And we should get into this. And I'm sorry for getting upset. It does not matter. Once the police officer has has subdued and detained the criminal, their job is done. That does not give them the right to decide who lives and dies in this fucking country, whether they are black or fucking white.
They are not judges. They're not jurors. And they sure as fuck are not executioners. And every day, every week, I have to watch cops deciding that it is their option to carry out execution on American citizens. I do not want this mislabelled, this was not a detainee resisting arrest. This was cold blooded fucking murder. Listen closely. One of my biggest learning from all of this, and I'm embarrassed that it's taken me twenty five years to realize this, it is not enough to be not racist.
You have to be anti-racist to condemn those who feign superiority because of the color of their skin. Friends hold friends accountable, hold your family accountable, hold yourself accountable. And most importantly, we must hold authorities accountable. Police officers, politicians, policymakers. As Killer Mike said, bully the politicians at the voting booth, make your voice heard, attend a protest, speak up against injustice. If you're white, if you look like me, use your privilege.
And for those who do not think white privilege exists, you are fucking blind, you are delusional, and you are part of the problem. I can count on zero hands the amount of times that I have feared for my life at a routine traffic stop. That has never happened, half of the reason I'm able to get away with some of my hooligans, should I do my blogs, is because I'm a white kid. I'm confident that I do not have to fear for my life.
Should the cop show up, acknowledge and weaponize your privilege, I believe, are going to a protest today. You can bet your fucking ass I'll be in the front line. Knowing all this about America, its racially charged background, its inability to truly treat humans as equals, even after two hundred and forty four years since its inception. We must now work towards finding the solution, and if you are an influencer or celebrity friend of mine, I hope you are using your platform to continue to spread the message of solidarity and unity.
I do not have all the answers, but I know we must now reverse engineer the system as a collective. We must open our eyes and realize that there is only one race and that is the human race.
On behalf of Brianna Taylor. We must change. On behalf of Ahmat Aubury, we must advance. And on behalf of George Floyd and the hundreds of others who have been unjustly murdered in this country, we must evolve.
Number one, Mike Tyson takes mushrooms with a pigeon.
I'm making direct eye contact with the shrooms as we speak. And tell me about that volume.
Talk to me about that. Can I get a lecture and I get a look? I mean, what how do we work?
That's exactly right. You explain to him how much it is. You speak about eight or maybe four gram, about four grams of dried mushrooms.
It's got the gold caps with the blue spots on it. This is this is a moon shot for the average person like this is. Mike, you would eat this amount as a as a daily dose.
I'm just going to shove it. Mike, this Mike.
This is a lot of motherfucking mushrooms, Mike. This is like that that's roasted right now. I got nothing.
Tell them I used to do banks make that up, graze multiple ounces, go to the gym and work out.
I can't. Oh, he knows. Oh, he's going to be chewing for a sec now is the pussy. People put it on a peanut butter sandwich. It mixes together, you know what I'm saying? But Mike wants all those little particles stuck in his teeth. You'll be digging a gram out for the next couple hours trying to figure out, yeah, there's some stuff in the back there somewhere. He used to do drugs.
Yeah, yeah. He goes, no, I love it. I have so many good young pitchers. Yeah, well, we got one. We got a pitcher for you. This is weird. Why do we have it.
His name is Rocky. How did we not win that award or not win that award.
We know we got to look at this really quick when you're done with that. Mike Tyson took four grams of mushrooms and is playing with a pigeon on our podcast. Why did the award go to anybody fucking else?
Hey, listen, I have five hundred and you have that minutes. What have you ever done a headcount like? Is it actually five hundred pigeons?
And why? Excuse me, would the pigeon. It's my it's my culture. Oh, my God, look at this little pigeon in a basket. Look at Mike Tyson with his pigeon. I have a bird, you know, I have a bird, African grey. He talks to that. He's working on it is he whistles he likes to whistle Mike Tyson and his pigeons. That is a beautiful bird. Uh, yeah, dude, I love birds.
Oh, look at a turban. Oh, you got. Oh, you you've been a fan of pigeons for some time. Little boy, how come you like birds?
How come you like birds? It's just what we do in the neighborhood. It's cultural. This is this is fucking fantastic and Noah is incredible because the coolest, the toughest guys have them. So that's why I was hoping that a. I can't get anything real. This is a Navy Yard, this may be APACS like this. Maybe this may be some sort of the sort of guy we're picking. We're picking for someone else.
How can Mike Tyson wasn't I was pigeon with this on. No, he said that it's a diaper. Oh shit. We got to face off here. That's it. That was the dog. I'm not going to lie.
So she got she got me a diaper. What is this bird phone, please? What do you get this bird from? Oh.
Oh, hey, man. Hey, whoa, whoa, hey. Oh, he can't fly.
No, I know. We just saw evidently he like birds that fly.
Why? He went he went backwards and not up. That's got to be.
He's not trying to show.
Yeah. And he does. Great show.