Logan Paul Loses His Phone Sex Virginity
Impaulsive with Logan Paul- 1,469 views
- 27 Jan 2021
In the first episode of Season 3, Logan fakes an orgasm over phone sex, Conor McGregor gets Nate Robinson’d, Logan addresses leaked Floyd Mayweather fight info, Roman Atwood has a creepy cyber stalker, Mike sucks at role-play with Lana, Armie Hammer is allegedly eating brains, and long-lasting marriage is slightly unrealistic... sorry.
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Well, I'm on the phone like I like you a couple of times to make it seem like it's going in and that's how you not know.
Yeah, so do you. A villain from like a black and white cartoon? Yeah, I'm a guy I don't technically marvel villainous.
Wow. You got me Kopper's I.
Welcome back to Impulsive, the number one podcast in the world, and now the number one best looking podcast in the world. Look at look. Look around, we no longer reside in SpongeBob Butthole Crazy, we've got a brand new renovated studio in garage studio. It's looking good. Would finish a nice, sleek, aged up, mature vibe. Rich mahogany. Oh, yeah. You know, honestly. Schottel True Geordie dude. Why I don't the whole time when I when this thing was being designed, I was like, maybe one day will look like true Geordie's podcast.
He's got all that those dark woods, that rich mahogany. Hmm.
Yeah, I feel really good about it. You know, we've been gone for two weeks now while the set was being renovated. We're finally back. So we're a little rusty. We're going to try to give you guys a well, we have a fabulous episode planned. A lot a lot of things have happened since we've been gone. We've got a new president since we've been going. Can you believe that? I can't believe it. That's that's insane.
It's nuts. Yeah. And then, George, look at you. Yeah, I cut my hair because you guys could call me a chip, so cut that shit off. New new set. New look.
It looks great. I'm ready. Yeah, it looks fantastic.
I'm where we even begin. I almost forgot what it's like to be a podcast was we got a new profile picture. Can we see it?
Can you pull it up on screen? I'll have you talking it. Well, that sucks because we're still editing it.
But new profile picture, new banner, it's officially season three. So let's let's start it off the right way. We talk about possibly the Conor McGregor fight happened this past weekend. I know we got a lot of fight fans that watch us watch a show. They like our commentary on the fight game. So kind of a greater fight this past weekend.
And it is a whirlwind of emotions for me from from not being able to watch ESPN. Plus, I don't know if anyone else experienced this.
I did. I was right next to Twitter was Twitter was blowing up because I don't know what happened.
With the ESPN plus stream full on meltdown, hundreds of thousands of tweets we were talking about.
What could be a possibility for that happening, him coming after like.
So Dana White, you know, I don't want to say you said because I don't want to be like click doesn't a meme this fucking idiot. But I really do feel that it could it could be the case. It could be the case. He he he he provoked the hackers. You don't do that. He's the only visible ninja. They're savages. And, you know, he said basically like, I'm going to knock on your door if I catch you pirating the stream.
And they and they just all got together, they're like he he he made sure no one was streaming the fight, not even the people who paid for it.
Brilliant idea, by the way. I don't think so. I paid seventy dollars to watch two fights arena. I said this before. I love Dana, but how can an organization are you.
I'm in bad shape. Yeah. What did you take? How many do you choose to manage. It was all that movement. I told you I was running out of energy. Man, you look at my love. This man is tranced. He's just less like, what the fuck? It's like a first episode all over again. What are you doing?
I put this I've been using this anti aging cream on my face, and I always told myself before the show, don't use it because it clogs up all of my my pores. And I rubbed it all over my face. And I feel like I have like a vegetable oil all over my face right now. And I can't stop it from you. Just look like a greasy old man now. Like you have mold.
Menges greasy old man, man. If you put deodorant, if you put deodorant all over your skin, they'll do this. You could get in a lot. You could go, you know, you could die. Yeah.
Because you stop because your hair looks like it looks like, well, Mike's gone. I read something that was really funny.
Somebody tweeted out, they go. A bunch of ambulances showed up to the UFC fight. Conor's fine. But Dana White had a heart attack.
Yeah. Because of everything that was happening that night I died. Oh. Can you imagine talking a lot of shit? Like, a lot lately? He's been talking a lot of shit to everybody. I feel like he's a little angsty. And now. Now guess what? Essentially, the face of the UFC lost and he can't get his glorious Kobie versus McGregor rematch.
Did you see what could be said about Connor? He says he's levels above these guys. Are you talking about what he said about him losing his training people?
Yeah. Yeah, because Connor allegedly kind of refuted this, switched his boxing. Coach and sparring partners and basically switched up his camp, which is never a good idea, really. He did look like a different fighter. He didn't look like he was prepared for this fight. Not that I have any say in fighting. I disagree. I think I think the first round he looked good, like his striking is superb. He was striking. Well, did he lose two out of his past three fights as it happened?
So what happens now?
Is he like this is why it's tricky, man, because it is so tough for me anyways to see legends lose. I hate it. I love Conor McGregor.
And the moment I saw him flattened with his eyes closed, like Nate Robinson style, maybe not as bad because he wasn't fully knocked out the Internets.
Ruth, Ruth, there's no mercy for the guy.
Your brother didn't help that situation. I mean, it's Jake fucking Paul.
He immediately went to his Instagram suit as he went down below. He just looked at each other like, what did your brother post? What did your brother. I feel like he had that shit preloaded, like he had it already set to go. I don't I don't know. I don't think anyone thought McGregor was going to get beaten that way. Like, by the way, props to Dustin Pedroia for pulling it off. It's a massive win. You beat one of the greatest combat sports entertainers of all time, and they're one and one.
He was the underdog and he beat them. And he came back from his last loss against McGregor and proved everyone wrong.
But yeah, Jake, Jake, Paul, you know, two, three weeks ago presented Connor with a fifty million dollar offer. He's amended that offer. He reduced it to ten thousand for a fight or a third of a Bitcoin. You know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? I just don't even know what to say about this stuff anymore.
It's like he's so down that rabbit hole of being the like the social media asshole that comes after everybody. But at this point, it's it's I look forward to it. Do you think do you think Connor did a good job of while he was on his feet, continuing, continuing to prove that he's a very solid striker? Lt could easily step into a boxing ring with with a boxer until five minutes pass like like the end of the first round.
He has this issue where the dude gases and everyone knows it. In this fight, he got much, much sooner than I thought he was going. I thought he was going to do round three, round two. His hands were looking heavy. But was it because of the like the leg strikes, does that add to did walk out of the arena on a crutch?
I'm sure that affected him. Yeah.
Just like he was getting nasty. Like, I don't think like normal people that don't get kicked every day. I felt I probably felt like a baseball bat coming at him all the time. So, I mean, just thinking about being able to strike somebody without stepping foot on your leg. Yeah. There's going to be another fight. Yeah. Because he won one and now he lost one possibly. I think I think about this offence. How many more times can MacGregor lose before his legacy is is really tarnished?
And it's tricky because his face is tied to his whiskey proper twelve. And he's got a lot of businesses that are directly correlated to the success of said businesses are his performance most likely dictates how well proper twelve does?
Right. He wins. He's the face of the fight game. I think so. I think so. I don't think anyone is really good with anyone. Drinks the whisky for the taste of the whisky. I think they drink it because it's kind of a it's.
Well, Caleb, did you like it? No, it wasn't.
And by the way, that's that's that's the common reaction of property. I, I've tried it once and it's it's mediocre. So if Konner. Loses and continues to lose, which sucks. I wish the best for the guy, but his businesses and every sponsor that's tied to him now suffers as well. And I had this revelation. You got to know. We got to know when to stop these guys got to know when to stop fighting after the Mayweather fight and even after that could be a fight.
Do you think you may so much money. Do you why do you think Dana was right when he said that he doesn't have that fight, that fire him because he's sitting on too much money now?
When I saw him give Dustin the the fist after the ref gave him the rules in the beginning and I just was watching his demeanor. My personal opinion, it is not the fiery Conor McGregor that was hungry and needed a win to prove to the world that he's the best fighter on the planet, he already he already did it. Do you think he's going to come back now with fire?
Because he's like, fuck, do my reputation's on the line. Everything I've ever done is now being washed away. I hope so, man. Complacency is a dangerous, dangerous spot to be sitting in comfort in general, especially for the fight game.
I felt this on on my last fight. I just I think I really care. And that's what happened. And I know that I lost I'm younger than ever. Going to fight the best fighter on the planet and Floyd Mayweather. And speaking of which, Janaway also had some stuff to say about that fight. But he say Detroit said some comments while appearing on TMZ it's going to be bad. Why? While I'm open for and I don't dislike any one of these kids, but if Floyd Mayweather really shows up and goes in, it's going to be an assault weapon like nobody has ever seen before.
So I remember a couple of weeks ago you made a plea today in a way to make sure you knew the difference between you and Jake. And I think he may not think he may be treating you like the person that's talking to him.
Yeah, I think so. I think so. I endorsed him. I didn't think to come on the podcast. I said, hey, you want to come on my podcast? I got a brand new set. We can still talk shit about my brother together. What he said nothing I've seen. He hasn't even seen it, but yeah, it sucks.
I heard also that Mayweather is training like he's fighting a welterweight champion, which is a 200 pound. Weight loss champion man's going in, I told Jeff this morning, I said, I don't think it matters. I think this is some weird universal. His time has come, one legacy dies and another begins on whatever fight they we choose. I should I just say this year now I think and I say is here now, Jeff shaking his head, shaking his head.
What the fuck. It's been online. Well, we don't know. Can I say that? We're working on it. We had to just say words, we had a leak. Fuckin. An erroneous leak in our camp and it got out and whatever, we can't control the narrative, it's it's bad because people just want headlines and they want to get clicks on news articles and shit and. The narrative changed from the fight is being postponed to the fights being postponed due to, quote unquote lack of interest, which pissed me off like first time you get that fucking quote from second of lack of interest, my ass.
No, Fi has made this much noise in the past year or two years.
Honestly, I feel like that not every single time I step outside, it will shake the globe.
On the day me and Mayweather clash, well, it's going to be fucking massive. And I think about it like this. I think I think it's a blessing. Every day that passes, Floyd Mayweather gets older, he gets slower, he gets fatter.
And me, I get better. I get better looking some wrinkles in my eyes, but healthier, stronger. A more skilled boxer.
Look in the mirror. What's wrong with your hair? Are you talking about. What do you look like? You took the wood from the tree to build the set. You look like you.
You honestly, you look like it's starting to started to add up. I look like my dad. Yeah.
Just wait till I'm bald. I think about this because dog, I just go to Turkey with him.
I'm going to be sitting here on the set in about fifteen years and I'm going to be bald. And that's going to be weird because once I had a full head of hair flashback to this moment, showing her back, showing that part of you, I want to be weathered like I want to look rugged, dude. Like I spent much time in the mountains making pottery. That's what I want.
Like, I've been working on the mullet because I think it's funny to fight Floyd Mayweather with a mullet. I think that's that's a funny circumstance. What?
Brady versus Holmes also. Oh, yeah.
Oliver's new Tom Brady is on his way to the 10th Super Bowl. Well, he's he's not real. At what point he's fake. Like, that is not real. Nobody should be that good at their sport, like. Tom Brady, athletes that are performing at that caliber, like the exact opposite of the caliber I'm performing. What if you die? I don't know what's happening right now. You have like a really hot meal.
I'm under a tremendous amount of stress and pressure right now. I want I wanted I wanted to come out firing on this first episode and I don't know what happened. Menom, I'm melting. I'm turning into I feel like an iceberg that's been under the Haitian sun for for 12 hours. I my my my my balls are in a swimming pool like a Kendrick Lamar song right now. I can't, I can't control it. I'm, I'm falling apart at the seams.
I'm looking at George for comfort, like you really sweating as you're talking. I don't know what to do. I feel like I may turn into a puddle. All joking aside, do you do you need a Simental assistance like health, a mental health check, like a mental illness exam? Yeah, it's like it's like a bottle of water or something. I don't know. It's happened to me before. It happened on the first episode of the first season.
Now it's happening on the first episode of the third 250 episodes. The Blitz. You're sweating like a dog. I look to my left, I was like, no, no, who put a bucket of water on Sky?
And I do like what the rappers do and put the towel under my head.
Well, we could take five now. We're like this. It's not the listen. Episode one of Season one was not the first time it happened. It wasn't the only time it happened. It happens to be sometimes been off for two weeks.
You know, I get a little little stress. It's a mental thing, man. I feel like I'm watching a ninety sitcom where the person's really stressed and he's sweating and the camera's zooming in on you. Yes. And as I've always said before, the only thing that makes it better is everyone in the room looking at me and everyone talking about it. That's the only thing that makes me feel like if everyone looks at me, they're like, Mike, you're profusely sweating.
It's pouring off of you. That's the only thing that makes me feel better. Did I? That's not that hot in here. I got good news.
What's the change of subject? Yeah, keep it rolling. Well, boys, boys, proud to announce that I've officially partnered with Barstool Sports.
I'm a brand ambassador for Fox Sports. I'm Dave Portnoy.
Son, essentially, you may remember when he came here where he told Mike he looks soccer sucked in and that I'm cliche and cheesy. Both accurate. Very accurate. Yeah. He's not far off. No, not far off at all. I think he like the vibe. I think he liked the obviously the response to the podcast. And he has invited me. And finally we got the deal done to be a brand ambassador for the barstool sports sportsbook.
So that's Big Brother. That's huge. Huge. They're they're such a cool, I think, cutting edge New Age media company that I am so happy to amplify in any way I can. So I got a lot of big things coming up in the future for this past weekend, actually. Penn match any first time deposits that were wagered on the barstool sports book in Michigan. It just launched in Michigan. And I think they raised over two million dollars for small businesses in Michigan.
Obviously, the bar stool fund, I think is approaching thirty million dollars credible. So Pennsylvania is affected by covid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuse me. By the way, I've cried a few times watching those videos. They're fantastic. Fantastic. This is what I'm saying. They do such a good job of. They just get it. They just get it and they resonate with people. And I think the company has so much room for growth.
And as I continue to diversify my portfolio and grow my businesses, it just cool to be partner with someone who I truthfully believe in and then I think can can make massive waves together. So a lot of big things planned for twenty, twenty one with Bar and their brand new Baalu sportsbook. Thank you. Thank you guys.
Yeah. I'm happy to be here to start the year. Yeah. Yeah.
Much better Jeff. I was proud of that even though it goes. Yeah, yeah. He goes yeah. Much better. I figured out the issue today. Figure it out finally hit me. Over the past 100 plus episodes, right when things started going more my way, the first thing I did at the beginning of every episode. Was took my gun away and stuck it under the counter. So you think your job is overworking, you're sweating from your job?
Yeah.
And today I looked at the SAT and I was like I looked under. There's no Gaumont. All the gum still under there on the same table on that case. Fuck it, did I feel better already? Oh, you were not going to do it. I wasn't. God, I was going to respect the counter. But it's the same it's the same table. First, we need to talk about it on this side once you come on the side.
That's where I started. That's fucking gross. My it's a thing for me, man.
I'm watching, as you could tell by the fact I'm sweating in the middle of the winter. I'm a little strange, George. Like, you just got to deal with it. You know that Governor Newsome, this fucking guy, Governor Newsome, I don't like him. He's decided that covid doesn't exist anymore over California overnight. Overnight, this dude smile makes me want to die. Who bought him? I want to know who this guy assume it's Joe Biden who bought this guy.
When he talks, I go, wow, I could be president one day or a governor every time this guy talks. I go, we could do it. All of us. You don't even have to be that educated or even be a good talker. Trump Trump made me realize that, huh? Trump made me real. I swear to God.
Reality star turned president. What the fuck? What? You're right.
I'm not going to. Dude, I've got fuck no in a weird place.
We're in a very weird place. But this year so far, it's just been kind of doing this, just this right here. And I want to keep that energy going. So back to the NEWSROOM. All right. Today, Governor Newsom lifted the stay at home order here in Los Angeles County. So that means Los Angeles based small businesses and restaurants are going to get a chance to reopen. It looks like we're going to revisit the colored tier system that's popular over there in the UK.
And while a lot of people are excited and happy about that. A lot of people are questioning why now, Mr. Newsom, the same people are questioning why did it happen in the first place? Because it doesn't seem like it's based on science, because yesterday we recorded the highest number of covid related deaths ever in the history of the pandemic. And so it just seems weird that today would be the day decides to reopen. And I'm not complaining. There's a lot of people are a lot already lost.
Their place in business is not be correct. And the people that were on the other side of it, that want that want to respect the magnitude that this pandemic is are pissed off, that he's doing it at a time when the pandemic is at its highest death, death rate and with no vaccines in sight. And so I don't know exactly what the fuck is going on here. I know people are calling out for him to be removed from office.
And so a lot of people feel like it's a knee jerk reaction to. They're their call for a recall on him as a governor. It's very interesting. Gavin Newsom recall. So it's not an impeachment because it's not the president's recall.
It's an item from the store. What do we recall with salmonella? Do we bring another guy with the same set of hair and teeth? And does is the new one?
That there's a ballot, a ballot, one point five million signatures needed to require a recall election.
They got there. He got two million already out on the ice. I don't even care because I'm leaving the state. We built this brand new set and I'm out, but it's getting ridiculous. Are you a comedian? Friend of mine called. I mean, I'm not gonna say where yet. You could say my name. My name is George. You know what to say. Comedian friend, comedian friend of mine called me before the podcast and he asked me, he's like, yo, are you are you staying in the state?
I heard everyone's leaving. I heard everyone's going. I was like, man, I'm I'm looking at the next, like, three years of my life.
And it just doesn't it just doesn't make sense. I think the bug is finally biting me that I'm ready for the next chapter in my life. So, I mean, some are moving in together in Miami based on what fact?
Mean what's what's pushing you out. First off, the taxes here are fucking insane. You don't say it's gross. You don't say it's insane. Ruined my birthday. You ruined your birthday. So so us some of the people watching this may know this was the first year that I joined the elusive bracket that Mr. Paul is in here. And I and, you know, people have told me they're like, oh, you're you're going to feel it, man.
It's not it's not going to be fun for me.
Whatever. I pay taxes every year. Maybe things in here that my accountant called me and decided to call me on my fucking birthday. Oh.
Fifty two percent of every fucking dollar I made last year, I went to fixing holes in the streets and the holes aren't fixed like it's mind blowing, bro.
Is that why you're saying that? Oh, that's why. Because we we joke that I was going to talk. If you listen to impulsive, you know, this man makes money, spends none of it. And since he has no expenses, no business expenses, he doesn't write anything off. Yeah. So literally every dollar he has, no one ever taught you to, like, spend your money so you could have some of it to yourself.
OK, so here's the thing. As a as a crackhead, I don't know.
The way you're sweating doesn't look like crack. It looks like a current crack at the current crack. It's like I'm going to keep all my money from my job. That's it. That's the percent taxes. Fifty one percent drugs. That's a hundred and thirty percent. And then you're just sweating profusely. And he blames it on fucking gum, blames it on gun face cream. No, but but I always, I always am waiting for that other shoe to fall.
And I talked to our guy Jed about it, who, you know, you know, has worked with people have similar stories. And he's like, you got to get out of that habit, man. You're here to stay. You're not going anywhere. You got to start playing by the rules because I saved all my money, assuming that tomorrow, you know, comes and I may not have anymore. And so I, I fucking nest egg like crazy and just put it all.
It's a bank, said Miller Dagos. Why do you have that many figures in a checking account like what the fuck are you? It's a checking account. You use that to buy eggs and milk at the store. You could buy a house here with it. Why is it in your checking account? We have a group chat. Well, you're investing in stocks or anything. You got to we have you on track called the Bitcoin boys. Just a couple boys in the house is.
Out shadow president, President Broider and Mikes in it, but he just shits on us the whole time, he refuses to invest in anything, I don't think he's diversified his portfolio at. Oh, please tell me you have some stocks, Tesla. This is not Tesla. This is not investing advice, by the way. But yeah, I got some blue chips. I got some Tesla, stuff like that. But listen, I pull a very nice point, zero zero zero nine percent in my savings account every year.
But I'm thinking about next year potentially step it up to a CD, which will get me point zero zero one percent.
So it's a it's an extra one. I just get too scared. Scared. What about properties?
But what do you bring me to Vegas? I'll gamble that. Bring me to Vegas. I'll put on a golf course that I want you to do.
Go to Pennsylvania, Michigan, you Barstow's work. I love you. I love that for you.
What I don't like is when you start talking about business, why before you were like, well, I've been investing in you know, it's just made me feel really comfortable to diversify my portfolio. You know, like a year ago I started within you. All you had was the DAP, you know, like with this. And now when I talk to you and you're like, yeah, I saw your email, but I'm really busy on call. Say, you think I could circle back and, like, paying you later, like you're using corporate terminology and I fucking hate it.
You grew too fast.
I don't know what happened. I swear to God, the moment I turned twenty five, I looked at my hands in my bank account. So why is my money not making money?
Yeah, all these equations started popping up in three dimensional like this. This is weird.
I make money, but my money doesn't make money and I'm losing money because my money isn't making money for me.
And so I just started to stop saying, yeah, like you agree. Well, I just started caring more. And Jeff, my manager has been harping on this for years, but I just never gave a fuck about a ninety thousand dollar couch fucking idiot. I was well, a watch.
One of your friends called UNIDO and he did that. Or oh, just Jeff, you raised your finger. Yeah, yeah, it was the middle finger, by the way, just just in case people that I just I encourage it.
Here's the takeaway. I encourage young people to start caring about their finances sooner. And I know it's tough. To give a shit about something that you don't give a shit about because it's boring, but Game of Fire make it fun. Download E-Trade or Coinbase or rob something to start, start, start playing, it doesn't need to be vast amounts of money, but start understanding how the market works, whatever market it may be, and get involved.
Well, you know, I don't have anything like I don't not have any investments. I just need to get a little bit more exposure.
Time for you to get a vehicle that's happening this week.
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Anybody hear about this Román Atwood stuff you hear about this yesterday?
What happened late on a Roman Atwood, one of the biggest YouTube errors in YouTube history? That's where you guys met? Yeah. When me and Logan mentioned that he was there, Travis Shoshana's house. This guy was Mr. Sure-fire. He was there every day making people smile more Mr. Romanized, what everybody fucking knows and loves this guy, right? Yeah. But over the past year plus, he seemed to have vanished and no one knew where he went.
He was putting out these very, you know, sparse videos, very, very inconsistent. And everybody's like, where the fuck to Roman I would go yesterday. He puts out this video next to Britney explaining that he has had these high level stalkers that have been destroying his life over all during all of twenty twenty. They called in bomb threats to a family funeral he was at. They got access to his home and were able to power his home, turn off electric.
They got control of his cars. They got control of the cameras in his home. And we're sending them screenshots and videos off of his cameras. They canceled his car insurance. Romeyn why Roman Atwood. He's so wholesome. I don't know. And I know and I know he's been working with the FBI on it and he was finally able to tell the story. But it's extremely scary because you hear stories about, you know, people that visit the house or they send letters or they send the flashlights.
Oh, we've had that. Yeah, that was kind of cool, though. Look, I'm your biggest fan. Here's my vagina in a box, you know, like, that's normal. But to have somebody turn off your power, you know, while you're trying to microwave a toaster knows the little pizza rolls the access to his power grid. That terrifies me because he has children, children. That's like, well, where are the cameras facing you?
You got him saying, like, yeah, I hear creepy stories about that stuff all the time that they get, like, why couldn't they get, like, a scum of the Internet motherfucker like star it. Honestly, Daniel Kim, he's one of the biggest, most well respected boxing news sources.
He's the one that was the breaking news about the lack of interest in Mayweather. He oh, he texted me last week and said that there's a massive beef brewing between you and Jake. And he wanted me to Ajala.
We're going on vacation next week, and I swear to God, if you want to know nothing and everything that's not true, go to this news channel. Why did you point at me? Because you're the one who's like Oxenham.
And, you know, he texted me. I didn't even respond back to Roman Atwood.
So hopefully this means and he might have said this at the end of the I was trying to listen to it, but Jeff interrupted me, told me I should open a bakery and was just talking to you while I was watching the video, which I love. But at the same time, I wish I had the ending to the story. Hopefully it means that the FBI has been involved and so hopefully means Roman Atwood will return to a consistent posting schedule, because I know he brings a lot of light to a lot of people's lives and I think a lot of people want to see him on the show.
I think a lot of people want to see Mr. Roman Atwood on impulse.
And so we hope that happens. Roman, if you're watching this, I hope things get better for you as well. Best of luck to you guys. Yeah, scary stuff for real, you know.
I love your Roman. Something. Something happens, every viewer was like it was Logan. Logan was the one that I really do love Roman.
He's like an older brother to me.
He's so he's so nice to some happened that I want to talk about. There's a lot of pressure on this story, but let me try to stick their fingers in your asshole. No, I get angry when that happens, mostly when they're strangers, like, I don't know.
Excuse me, sir. What are you doing? Doing, guys, stop, stop and shop. This is Costco. What are you doing to my balls? I just met you.
Have you. You. Yeah. You've had. Yeah, absolutely. I just wanted to agree with you.
So sorry. Phone sex. Yeah. You had it. Yeah. Because. Good. It's just my dick in my hands. OK, you know what I'm saying? It's like, is it over face time? No, I'm talking good, just audio, OK? You yeah.
You you know, when I was young and I really like not a new thing, how you listen like I was I was a kid and I thought that was cool. Six, seven.
I feel like if you're in a long distance relationship and you want to keep that like that fire going between you, but like it's it's, I mean, you know, you made the big I did it. I mean, you just suck at it. That's why you just made the biggest mistake by serving this up before you told the story. You know, like I'm I'm dating an actress.
That girl could get into character like that. I mean, she pretends like she's in love with me every day. And I love all on. I'm dating an actress. Dude, what the fuck? What are you saying?
Yeah, your actors are probably a lot better go. Oh, I just have never had phone sex before. Way past. Give us a little preview of you. Ready. I'll be the girl you be. You ready.
Whoa. Whose story is that. I was I told you they gave us too much power. You gave us too much power. That is gone. I'm just.
I'm taking you off the rollercoaster too. Are you ready? I am ready.
I never had phone sex before the opportunity was presented to me. I said I got it, got my hand, got a phone cramp.
I'll take it from me.
Like, give me let's give this a shot. Let's give this a shot. I'll do phone sex.
And I quickly realized like there's a reason I've never done it before because as goofy and as comfortable in my own skin as I am, some things sexually, I'm just not because I just can't take myself serious. And the girl who offered the phone sex, like, again, I learned pretty quickly, was like she's pretty experienced in this arena and, you know, so I'm sitting there and she starts talking. She starts off. Right.
You know, excuse me, parental control warning because she was I I was just like, you know, I feel like I don't do a good job at it, but, you know, I feel like I'm just there sucking your opinions, just looking in the eyes and oh my God, it's just going down my throat.
And I'm like, oh, my God, this is this is great. She's really good at this. But also, she doesn't do those things in real life. Like this particular girl doesn't suck there. She doesn't so much like it's just hot. But like, logically, I like this. It makes no sense because, like, she doesn't wish these things. She just saying because we're having phone sex. But like, I feel like I get into, you know, the good old fashioned masculine reaction I get pretty hard just is turning me on the voice.
The phone is incredible. And now it's my turn right.
You go back and forth and shit, this is it. Twenty five years old. I've never had phone sex in my life. What do I say?
So I start off, I'm like, hey, so the first thing I would do, we make out we would be kissing each other on the lips. And I'm and, you know, she's helped me out, she's like, yeah, like big time and before, you know, we'd be having sex.
And just on the other line, yo, yo, yo, listen, I look down on flaccid, completely soft, completely stuff.
So I stop talking, right?
Because because now I'm just like saying like, dumb shit to try to keep up with this conversation. So then she goes again. Right. Doing a great job. Rock hard again, rocket ship. I talk by the end of my dumb fucking vomit of sensual bullshit. I'm soft again.
So my dick is just like, oh, what are we doing here? Oh you know what? I talk. I'm like this. I'm like, oh, I'm going to be I'll be inside of your body.
That's where I'll be. And you'll you'll be enjoying it most likely.
And and so, you know, the clock's ticking, time's running out.
And I'm like, I got it. I got to get out of here. But she's she's so in that she's doing such a great job. She's professional. And eventually I just I'm like faking orgasm, bro.
I feel sorry I faked a phone sex orgasm because I couldn't do it. So that's against the rules for man Doug. That's against the rules. So you can't do that, bro.
And I'm on the phone like, oh, I got hit like a couple of times to make it seem like it's going in.
And that's how you not know.
Yeah. Oh, are you a villain from like a black and white cartoon? Yeah, I'm a guy. I don't talk Marvel or so.
Well, you got me Kopper's so they sound like it and I go, what's your Môn.
What do you sound like when you're orgasming. Oh what do you give me a real.
I feel like it's, I feel like I'm too not in the mood for it and. No, like there's a lot of passion in it.
It's like the one time like I'm one hundred percent like I like, I love it. That's it. That's it for you. I love you so much. I mean he told me he has that problem in the past that like rampant I love you.
That slips out while coming.
Oh and she's like Kewdale and it's like I know.
But I did at that moment it felt like I don't tell girls you love them during sex. Even if you do. Even if you do, you can if you love them.
Yeah, but I try not to. Did you finish. No. Fuck no.
No. I mean, like, did you finish the story that you're telling right now? Oh yeah. I faked an orgasm. I couldn't do it.
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Yeah, that's not me. Yeah, yeah. Just pay five dollars shipping again. That's B.L.. You each new dot com promo code. Logan Yeah. Yeah. Think of think of me when you, when you fuck fucking back to the program.
That's the reason. The reason I ask you is I find it, I find it so funny that because I could relate to this so much that people like you or even I that do that kind of like acting or unscripted shit during the day can't produce when it comes to that moment. Check this out.
You guys got like stories that I like this. Check this every once in a while, maybe once a week. Girlfriend roles in a different outfit, loves role playing is one of her favorite things that her favorite role play fan. Can we talk about the show? Because it would you've told me about it.
It fucking I can't talk. It would get me it would get me army hammered literally. Did I get here. You are fucked. Listen, Vellis, let me. But let me say that so she shows up. The one that relates the story most shows up as a cheerleader with a red little cheerleading outfit on with, with the midriff exposed, whatever.
And she comes in and she goes. Mr. Cheney. I left my homework at home. What can I do to still get money and I go into the same fucking mode as you?
I'm like, well, maybe we can get you a ride back to your house to pick that up. You know, maybe you could have your mom run it out to you and we'll still be able to get it graded by the end of that by the end of the day. And she's just like Mr. Cheney.
I was thinking like maybe something a little bit more exciting.
And I'm like, yeah, I mean, we can maybe get like one of the one of the kids from audio video to follow you on a skateboard or something as you go pick it up. I'm not quite sure exactly what you're looking for. Yes, I'm terrible. And I'm in the same fucking boat as you.
The worst, bro. But who's Mr. Cheney? I don't know. I don't I've asked him. All I'm like, is Mr. Cheney a real person? A thousand percent.
Mr. Cheney was that one hot young teacher and she was a student. Damn, she couldn't get the real one or the fake one.
She just could not get Mr. Cheney at all. Zira So how did you do you pull it off because you're in person.
You can't fake the orgasm. No, no, no. I mean, at some point I am like, you just go, yeah, Mr. Cheney fucking here no more. You know, it's like you get in the fucking mode, you know, I'm saying I can't do this shit.
I've never been I've told this story with the with the wit as well. I've just some of these things. It's like I can't like I, I don't take my myself that seriously. Right. I can't get in the mode like you only what.
Smack your butt like but not all the way hard because I'll kill you.
Woman Do we, I mean do we.
Yeah that's happened. This just another girl died from a booty slap. It was incredible.
Dick and ironically, his name is Dick Cheney is I'm not kidding, is Dick Cheney was the vice president.
So Emara was just really into vice president, Mr. Cheney.
I got to prepare better next time, like and I think that's what it is. It might be a preparedness thing. Like what if what if you said it to her or not and you actually had planned it out? If I had back story, there's a chance I could pull it off. Like if I just got there with a laptop, if I dove into character, I just did not.
It's not for me, guys.
Well, that's fine. Growing up, I always thought you were asexual. Turns out I'm not yeah, I used to call you a ficus y because you just like a plant, you just doesn't care. It didn't care like, oh dude, she's hot.
I think this guy's sexual drive is nothing. You go in waves, you go like, really, really, really high and then, like, nothing.
Yeah, that's you. You got shy clubhouse. I've heard a lot about this.
I'll make a face or. It's already valued at over a billion dollars, clubhouse gets a billion dollars. Another Silicon Valley app gets a billion dollar valuation. Guess what I have to tell you about valuations don't fucking matter. The equity I got to equity. It's my favorite sale. Hey, man, like you give me enough. You give me enough of your stuff. You push this app format gets you 20 percent equity. You know what that equity is worth?
I'm like, nothing. Can I buy broccoli with it? See, maybe this is my short term thinking again, you know what I'm saying? But also at the same time, like, what's Jeff? What's the percentage of these fuckers that actually sell?
It's so low, three percent. It's almost like winning the lottery. It's crazy. Some creators would tell you that's a bad business strategy. Mr. Beast is diversifying in a way where he's taking equity from a bunch of little companies. And let me like post suffix or preface or whatever. I still to have equity in a couple of things that I truly believe. And I'm not saying it's a bad strategy overall, but it's like the go to offer her Silicon Valley got.
I'll give you some sweat bra. You want a little sweat, man? You do a little work for us, do a little work for you know, you get enough.
So I don't think you're getting a sweat equity. You actually have enough. You can see I don't need any more. Thank you. It hurts me that you say that because I have equity in clubhouse.
I was one of the first, hey, I think clubhouse is bound to go for a billion man. That's the one allied clubhouse.
It's an invitation only app. I'm on it. Oh, you are? Yeah, I'm on it. Yeah.
So you listen to people talk, one can set up a room with a topic and it's basically like a virtual stage where there can be multiple speakers in a room and thousands of people can listen to these people talk about X, Y, Z.
And I started experimenting with it. I think it's a I think it's a cool concept. At first I didn't I definitely didn't like I definitely made fun of it. And then I thought I was like, oh, this is very interesting network wise. I think I could meet some cool people on this app because allegedly some billionaires and some high profile people make their way in there and are actively using the app.
Listen. Yes, for sure, that could have been the best thing. I'm not saying I'm not. I'm not. I'm fucking around to an extent. I think I think it's great. And I think there's a huge appetite for long form discussion, which is evidenced by the people watching this show right now. And people want to hear people talk about diverse topics.
The one thing that I don't love about the current landscape of the Internet in general is that the saturation of subject matter experts is so high right now.
And when you provide just another catalyst for subject matter X, he is the eminent, preeminent subject matter expert on e commerce. And you get all these dudes in there, by the way, who who who knows, like what their credentials are like. They're like, yeah, he's worth over 30 minute. Then the next guy comes in worth over 60 million in sweat equity. He has over 90 million in sweat equity in his bank account.
And they're like, wow, that dude's loaded on sweat equity. He could buy ten sweat equity Bentleys.
They just put it on YouTube.
But I just don't know. I love it because I like the idea of listening to people talk. And if people want to fucking digest that content and also, by the way, like, I really hope it works out for whoever created it. I hope it goes for a billion and a half. It will.
It well said, though. My biggest my biggest problem navigating the app was I don't it's hard to qualify people if their names.
I don't recognize which is everyone on the app almost. Yeah it's yeah.
It's, it's a weird space like I have done. And once I did one talk and I was like yo.
Look, I have a podcast. Well, just at what point does it get too noisy? At what point is everybody talking? You know what I'm saying? How do you cut through that? And how do you get through that? What do you do? Do you have an answer to someone? Because that's like the golden question for this age we're living in anyway.
Twenty twenty one is how do you how do you filter the fucking noise and bullshit that everyone is yapping about nowadays because everyone has a voice and you do something or say something about whatever and be an expert on experts.
Are you talking about how do you navigate the receiving end of said content or how do you navigate the delivery end? Like are you the creator of it? Because we're throwing information.
You know, I walk outside ten different people tell me ten different things about X, Y, Z.
I guess the biggest thing would be to spend to put in the work would be the number one, like spend enough time and effort truly digging into your sources before you call them subject matter experts. Right. Like what is what is this person really saying? What are people saying about this person? What are other people in the industry saying? Like, as we've talked about so much in the past, we are a headline driven society. And so people look and they're like, wow, that guy is worth thirty six million dollars.
I'm going to listen to everything he has to say. I'm going to take it all. And that's going to be my new route to success. Right. So I think I think you need to I think you need to personally qualify a little bit of everything, you know, more of everything you hear. And then also I would say, like take take take a little bit from a lot of people. I don't look at one person to be your to be your savior for your direction in life.
Yeah. It's toughman. I don't believe fucking anyone you're automatically met with resistance, I'll hear you. Yeah. But I don't know if I'm actually downloading your information, which is good, which is good, which is good, and it's kind of that, like I said, this. You think Armie Hammer is really eating girls brains? Well, yeah. Well, the person who killed it says, well, he loses, he's just saying that based on he's just saying that based on he has gave it as actual firsthand knowledge of baking soda.
No, sorry. That's Armand Hammer. It is a different it's an altogether different entity, different life form even it's not powder of any kind. Oh, he's an actor, yes. Oh, look. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, shit. Oh, this girl was at our house. Oh, is that how you know who the fuck?
Wait, is that the right one? Oh, we're like intertwined, that's the one I've seen her. Who the fuck is that? Why do why do people like this always look like this guy? Oh, wait. She went public with the fucking story. Oh, I thought you were just telling me about it because you had phone sex with her.
Now, is this is this is this true or are we just kind of like throwing gasoline on a fire that doesn't need to be lit is. No, no, no. We've seen that as James Charles would say, the fucking receipts, bro. They exist, dude. And this dude is pocketing toe's eating deer hearts. I mean, you know, he's got more escrows, name, page, page one.
But yeah, supposedly, you know, and you know why it would be less after I have gone to DM saying Army had sent me photos of me tied up that I didn't know about.
I didn't even know the photos existed or what they look like. I don't know if I was blindfolded.
She was branded like a cattle, I feel, who may have not prefaced the story enough.
What we're discovering is, look, well, that's weird. Who is this guy again? What does the acting he's he played the Winklevoss twins in Social Network. Yeah. What else?
He's on a big show. Sorry to bother you. Sorry to, but I didn't know if you were saying sorry for bothering me while I was talking. I thought you were actually saying that. Sorry to bother you. He from what I understand, he also was looked at as a potential actor for Fifty Shades, which would have made a ton of sense.
Yeah, exactly. They just knew they looked at him. They're like this mother. Yes, absolutely. But then he hurts people. He's he's been under fire for the past couple of weeks as one Instagram account started to reveal these DBMS between him and women that were quite fucking damning. I'd like to cut you your body in a I'd like to cut you into pieces and have sex with the pieces. I'm sorry. What's that? German. Say it in English.
I want to fuck you.
I want to fuck your actual brain. He had he had eaten a deer's heart in front of a friend after it had just died on the road after it got hit by a car. I bet this was a beast of phone sex.
Oh, he'd crush it. He'd crush it.
Do you think, like it's crazy how stuff like this could start spreading and we see things that, like you said, can be pretty damning. But let's also be clear.
We're not saying it didn't happen either by any means.
But but like, I hate this shit because, like, it's it's so catastrophic to this man's life. If he didn't do this, that's terrible. Like, this guy's image is completely destroyed. But if he did do this, then good. Fuck them.
I'm going to lean on the side that it definitely did happen.
We don't know just because we had that personal German anecdote, like we know this girl, right?
Like, is there multiple women that came out of there doing the same thing and the same thing?
The screenshots of the patients taking down one hundred screens, one hundred screenshots. He's saying from the audience, because we still don't have subtitles, our ability to show you what the person saying, which we should probably work on. Yeah, because I know the audience has been better asked work.
We can upgrade the set rats, things like that for this crazy right. For this.
What if instead of depending on public sentiment, on screenshots, which can obviously be, you know, fabricated in this day and age, you know, firsthand stories, conversation, we let the investigative process take place. This is something that we've been missing out on for years now. This is just another result of Cancio culture. Cancel culture can go in a million different ways, one of which is making decisions and passing judgments without due process and the necessary information to do so.
What's the due process here? This is a criminal case. Hundred percent. There's there's people claiming sexual assault, there's people claiming the threat of is it being criminally investigated? Is it being criminally investigated? Is it being criminally investigated? We'd have to ask a criminal. A criminal investigation. So now I just even made it dead. I'm horrible of a person and I'm sweaty.
This is why I'm just be careful because, like, this is what I hate. And I'll just say this, I, I can't stand when people just say shit. Soon as they hear, they just like, spray it. And also, I hate I hate to say this, but I hate when girls fake that shit, because if this shit's real, you know, I'm like there's so many fake cases that it buries the real oh, there's nothing worse.
There's nothing like you're a horrible, horrible human being if you're going to lie about this shit.
So I say I'm going to wait until the police get involved. And if they announce, I say we bring it back up on the podcast.
His his point, though, which is the major point and the valid one, is that this may not be a criminal case. And so what ends up coming up here is a question about gink, a question about what how far is too far when it comes to weirdness in the fucking bedroom?
Oh, I know the answer. As soon as one person steps out of the line and that person is now uncomfortable in any way, shape or form.
So if you're like, yo, we're going to do this and then I agree to it, but then I'm like, yo, yo, I didn't. Hey, finger in the butt. Totally fine. Branding me with your name. I'm off.
Oh, David, you said you're coming in crushing David's, are they in German or English? Got it.
I don't know how we are in twenty, twenty one and we still don't know the line of like, hey, don't do that. And it's OK to do. But I've got a wee. But I think to Logan's point is that that consent or lack thereof can also be taken out of the story. Do you know what I'm saying?
Like the girls. Like you want to brand me. Yeah.
And then you get they get branded and they that part gets removed, you know, I'm saying so it brought, as Robin Thicke once said, back in the words of Robin Thicke, Blurred Lines is just I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm saying. I'm sorry.
These these are heavy men. Are they are you going to put one up or. No. I don't know if I can I read when I read it, yeah, yeah, I know, but I can't stop thinking of fucking your actual point. And that's the sweetest thing you've said, me, too. It sounds incredible, everything you hear, every thought, every emotion, everything. Yo, hold up, hold up, hold up. Hello.
Can you sense thing? You fucking every. Fucking every since things you are, he's got to do that. I don't like the joke. Had to read it sucks just knowing that, like dyslexia also where people check this out.
So I'm reading the screenshot and it's just the things that he said. Yeah. With the responses and those things have been deleted like here. Here's what it could have been. Watching what she likes and hers like hers, regardless, this woman unsent hers because it says, I know, like what did she say? Like, it's missing context. That's the sweetest thing you've said.
Me, too. It sounds incredible. Like they're just going back and forth. And then you hear one side of a very, very deep sexual kink.
It's going to be fucking weird. I'm not standing up for the guy. I wait.
But you have corroborated stories for this shit to not be true. But like, there are two sides to everything.
But wouldn't he have the ones to read? But now but now he's confirming everything that he I think he has come out and said this. This is not true. I don't like this. Really? Yeah. It's crazy that someone is talking about it. Brought it up.
Also, I just want to say dignitaries have you guys have make ribs. Oh, human rights of all the fucking brain.
What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?
He says he wants to fuck her brain dead and we're not even talking about this thing. We no one said that the last thing we were talking about was was bath salts. Fuck you. Have we ever wanted to fuck a brain? What do you say you been watching? I thought you're a Christian. I don't like both of you.
I love you guys, but I just don't like you as human beings.
I'm settling back in. No more sweat, guys. It was just today is today. Only you put me out of commission for two weeks.
Am I the only one who wonders what his boxers are like right now? Like how what your boxers will answer. Oh, he got no boxers on. Thank you. You don't fucking know me by now. Don't fucking wear underwear.
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The relationship with the mother and how it affects your ability to love something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I don't know why Robbins's your mom's a sweetheart, me and my mom. I'm a mama's boy.
And sometimes I wonder if if my inability to be extremely committed and affectionate in a relationship to a point where I'm all in is because I have a wall up, because I'm like, you're not my fucking mom.
You ain't you ain't taking my mom's place. Don't. And by the way, I'm saying this jokingly, but I guarantee this is a thing. And I'm also not saying it's something I suffer from, but it's just something I've been thinking of lately. Do you think that the how you are loved by your mother as a child and in your developmental stage of your adolescence has an effect on how you treat women, I'm sure, but also more so how you commit in love with them?
Yeah, but I have you not heard like people like girls who fall in love with guys that are like their dad and guys who do the same, like it's kind of gross. But there's so many times I see Bell do things. I'm like, fuck, that's like exactly like my mom.
Like you fall in love with the people that you looked up to or they like you say my mom's a retired porn star.
George, look at what fucking point have you crossed the line?
You want to fuck brains, not just me or him when he's getting a little heated. Yeah. You don't sweat again.
You have crossed a line multiple times. Just so I just want OK, I can't keep a straight face.
I'm going to be I don't know what to do here. I mean, I think you both you obviously hit the nail on the head.
Yes. It can be also like. No, maybe not.
You know, women I have dated don't resemble sweet sweet Pam. Kind of not I mean, resemble at all.
If that was him.
I was growing up like my mom loved the fuck out of me. But I'm sorry, Mom, I'm going out of here a little bit.
I don't remember many conversations from my mom's side on how to be a suitable suitor.
You're telling me hold on a sec before I go. No, stop, I need to ask this fucking question. Are you telling me that you learned how to properly handle the courting process from four women, from Greg Paul, which is why I'm so bad at it.
Oh, yes. Better to have phone sex. Yes. So what I would do is I'd run over a deer and then run inside of you. Hello. Like bow and arrow. Another one? No, no.
The only thing I remember my mom giving me advice on was to not eat spaghetti in front of my date's parents. Yeah, like weird, like, would they give you, like, weird little rule to messy, right? Yeah, she saw that shit up. I got so funny you say that that is the most pointless fucking. Are you kidding me. What son.
Do me a favor. Forget about unprotected sex. Spagetti. See that was. Don't do it. That was Greg. Unprotected sex was what was. I got to hear this. What did he say. Always work on it. You don't know the story. Yeah.
I don't know the story now about him asking you to be protective dog.
I'm like, you know, oh this is thirteen. Fourteen.
He goes, OK, you know, why are you guys doing Joker and Batman? What the fuck is happening here? What the fuck do you get ill? You get you know, these women are going to have sex with you and a lot of them, I'm going to tell you to do it without a raincoat. It's what he called it. They got their names for everything. Ranko And every time a girl was a sexy without a raincoat, you picture me behind them going like this.
Oh, OK. I wish we could do so every time a girl is like, you have a condom, I'm like, of course.
And she goes, Well, I'd rather not. GPS fucking bald ass had this beard has now turned into a skunk, he's got two white stripes for some reason.
Yeah, I don't like that. Sex is synonymous with my dad. You say that one more time. Sex is synonymous with Greg. For me, you do, Greg. Mine too. I'm having sex with you. This guy has been thinking about my dad. Oh, Lord. God, at least for one second, just coming at you. Yeah, he ruined me. He ruined me.
Oh, you've ruined me. Yes.
Maybe that's why you don't really look for some of your peers. And I agree I would not do that if I was in the dating realm and in Panmure, my mom is going to call me, so she shouldn't be pissed.
She gave me she gave me some advice. I just remember the majority of the young bachelor conversations coming from Greg, and you can imagine how those look, you know, so I feel like our dads would get along because my dad was my dad was a.
You like to have a little bit of fun? Oh, yeah, I'm really not really a one woman kind of guy, you know, saying I like to have a little fun. So I'll say I can throw my dad on the bus. Well, I mean, you just did you just did it with, like, an Italian accent like that, a little bit of, you know, like sampling anything, but not one vagina for this guy.
You know, I've seen a lot of clips on Tick-Tock on YouTube, and I just don't know about this whole monogamy thing. It's scary. It scares me.
I read a statistic that I think it's it's like I'm just throwing a tantrum because it could be any number.
I think it's like two thirds of people that get married before the age of 30 and I'm getting divorced.
Oh, yeah. What the fuck? I mean, it was fifty five percent a long time doing. I mean, listen dude, it's just. It's human nature. I think I just so so what you get married for, for what purpose? I figure you can beat this. I'll be honest with you, I'm pretty sure marriage is a industry plant like that is created simply to create happiness for the woman. Like like in all honesty, I just want to have a pretty well, a wedding with all my family and we get the chance and like it.
At some point you just got to fucking eat that bullet like has a guy like you're not 60 percent of couples, married couples between the age of twenty to twenty five will end in divorce.
What the fuck are we doing once? I'm telling you, it's a ceremony, it's ceremonial until the end of the day, here's like as far as I'm concerned or any girl that's watched, I think the way to suck your guy, your suck, you suck off your guy. I think the way to suck your guy in a marriage is to quite literally suck them into marriage, is to is to talk about the food that will be at the event.
Like if she was like, yo, let's say in filet mignon, the fucking little, you know, the coconut shrimps will get them from outback back with the dipping sauce so we can get the outback bread. We'll have them on the cutting board with the honey butter on the side. Everything that the truffle butter. You could suck me into that with good food. Like, literally, I'm going to be honest, I didn't hear anything you just said, I just pictured you like 15 years from now really, really big.
Your girl looks exactly the same.
My sweating and you're sweating and you're just talking about food and you're just you're just like you're in Dangerman.
Past the age of thirty two, the odds of divorce increased by five percent per year at age of marriage. What do we talk?
So the higher the older you are getting married, the chances of you getting divorced is higher.
Well, maybe we better make this quick. Like shit, yeah, like y'all are different than I think you guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, you're fighting. There are so divorced I don't think I'd ever know. You wouldn't believe. You know, I think I think about it all the time. I remind you.
I'm kidding. But but I have this very dystopian way of thinking as a product of a divorced family, which you are also. It just seems like it seems like the natural goal.
Things like you hang out for a while, you pop out a couple of fucking offspring, and then before you know it, you know your significant other showing up with their new significant other and you're, you know, at the banquet putting UNISOM in their mashed potatoes at the dinner table in order to I don't fucking know, sorry. I said it just it's a little depressing.
Like, I often look at very successful celebrities, you know. Justin Bieber, Leo, I mean, what will happen, he did something right for now. That's what I wish in his marriage, the best.
But we'll see, you know, go the way Kimoto go the way Leo Jicarilla, Broglio, Drake, Tom Cruise.
It's just like, why is Drake not married? Does he have a girlfriend? Maybe. Why is Leo? I mean, he's been dating a girl for a long time. A very long time. The same girl. Steady relationship. But why is he not married, is it is it like a conventional thing that. Millennials, Gen Z have like made up and had it set in their mind to try to accomplish for so long, and when you're older you're like, oh, this is like this is slightly unrealistic.
Yo, drink that milk in the fridge. There's a 50 percent chance it's bad. You drinking that milk?
No. But then again, so that you enter marriage. Accepting that reality or potential outcome, and you do it for the experience, you just I think you always have to avoid responsibility when it comes to proposing as a man, you have to.
This is what I think. I think a healthy marriage is like my parents. They don't ever cross the table. My mom, like I tell my father how to act. My father's like I tell my mom and act. But they keep themselves in check.
And once somebody gives up on trying, like my mom is at an age where she could stop looking pretty, but she gets up every morning and looks pretty for my father. I think once somebody gives up, then the team starts to, like, fall apart. But I truly feel that if you really love somebody and you put in that work. And also here's another thing I guarantee you, a lot of people that got divorced. They probably went into the marriage thinking it's not going to it's not going to work out, and so when there's a problem, they're just kind of like, oh, this is how the reality is.
I don't like this Instagram post. I'm a deleted I don't like this YouTube. I'm getting rid of it. I can replace it. There's so many options. I was like, I don't want to work on your relationship. I don't know if that's necessarily true. I don't know that it's a new thing because these rates have been this high. It's been fifty five, 50. It's not like it's not like it's the result of that new. I get what I want right now mentality that you're talking about.
I think people people have been divorcing at 50 plus percent for decades and decades and decades. It's not a new thing. What I would love to see is a is a some sort of other factors involved charting as to what the biggest contributors are to a higher divorce rate, i.e., where are most divorces happening, i.e., for example, one thing I think of is last week Ben Affleck, one of everyone's favorite poster child for success, sobriety and happiness.
Throwing a full sized cutout of his girlfriend in the trash, you light it up, light it up, bro, because this is just you got to see this cut benefits, cut out your girlfriend appetite and Ben Affleck's girlfriend's trash. That's what he typed that way. Well, they broke up the next day. He said, fuck your cardboard cut out. That's a full size in the trash can, bro. Oh, my God. I didn't even fold it up.
Oh, that's enough. She's a famous actress. Yeah, she was in Saud's, so. Yeah. Yes, knives, dueling knives. What's it called? Knives is out there. God, she's great.
So. So they had this relationship that lasted almost a year and they were like a gardener. Well, that's a trash collector.
But but but he you know, we got another break. I know. That got me into why. How could you do that to this poor girl? But listen, guys, I owe it. But I bet Ben has obviously struggled with a tremendous amount of demons over the past decade and continues to have trouble.
But he joins that club of actors that you just brought up of, you know, these A-list actors who are unable to or by the way and this is what you know, and also I don't mean to say this in any disrespect at all, but like, if a man is having his own demons, is he able to be in a relationship right now? Great question. I think people need to work on themselves and be fully comfortable with what they got going on before they invite somebody into their fucking life at that level.
Or by the way, some people just need to marry the fucking demons. Like, in all honesty, like like there are some people who have just settled in the fact. And I think Leo and Tom, you know, kind of join this category as they continue to move in and out of these high profile relationships where I think or is where I think they've just accepted the fact that, you know, this is how my life is. I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life stuck in the hell hole that is banging the hottest 19 year old models in the world.
I've just had to come to accept it. This is what my life is. I will burn in the hell, fire a fresh vagina every year and trips to me cannolis and and lace thongs and the beauty that is youth eternal. And I sit and I feel for these men, the sadness of having to live that life. You say it as a joke. But you know what is sad? It sounds terrible. You're putting it, oh, I'm Nids because you want to have that long, meaningful connection with the person where they never crossed the line.
You're at the dinner table, the same fucking person you ate with for the past 60 fucking years.
What's new with you today? Oh, I got some new seeds on plan out back in the garden. You talked to George at all? Yeah. He's doing well. You want some of these mashed potatoes? I hate fucking mashed not playing you, Tom.
You guys are hurt. I kidding. I'm kidding.
Love is the most beautiful thing on this planet. But but to your point, I think there are some people out there who struggle with their own, their own selves so much that that inflicts pain on their relationships as well. I agree with you. You think if you get married once and then you get divorced. Yeah. And then you get married again, you think you take your learnings and be more successful or less successful than your first marriage? I think it all depends on the 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
What about third? Let's give let's show you that they're not.
Seventy three percent of all third marriage. Divorce is there, Zafer. Four, because I think most people die when they die, they just die. Roll. I was married three times. Seventy five percent chance.
Like, you don't get better. You don't learn. I don't think it's a learning thing. I think it's a situational based thing.
Like if the girl cheated on you or the guy cheated on you, like you can't learn from that, you know, you just kind of. Oh no. Yes you can. How you can't choose their decisions.
You got to spot a cheater. Like, can you not feel this? Can you not feel this so funny? Yo, I've had conversations with them and I've been talking to and then I'm loyal. I'm like, yo, you want a cookie. I have blond hair in the sky is blue during the day.
Loyalty is such a given.
I feel like I got this guy. Not in this city homey. Depends on where you're at. And they are you in this city in the words of the great.
Poet laureate Jack Harlow, we got options, I got options. You know what I'm saying? And so and I'm not saying me talk about it. I'm thirty six quite a lot. I'm not talking about myself. I'm just saying a lot of people in this city.
But you just nailed it, by the way. Exactly what I'm saying. The options part, it's greed. It's greed. And guess what happens. Greed catches up to you. It's not greed. I don't want to just one day we're going to be older. So exercise your right to buy those options when you're not in a committed relationship.
That's all about loyalty. I don't go yo fucking cool. Yeah. Good for you're a good person. Cool.
Well also nice. Also don't assume that that's the only trauma that could contribute to a failed relationship. I mean there's a ton and but two to the point I think what happens here a lot too, and this is something that I continue to work on in my own relationship. It's something that we still struggle with. There's a lot of people who weighed slowly into a relationship. And in those early first steps, men especially make very poor decisions in the beginning.
And so we were in this and I'm still speaking from full on experience. I was in this gray area where we weren't really dating and I did some dumb shit. And and as the man I call it dumb shit, that's like easily forgivable. The girl never fucking forget. They never forget that shit. So I think you have to be very cautious and careful as you wade into the relationship and understand that any false moves could affect the rest of your fucking life.
That's just how it goes. Unless you're you're dating some pro empath who could easily forgive and forget, which most people are not. Don't you know how easy that stuff I don't see, but also like are we are we. Are we at a point in society where this is OK, you know what I'm saying? Like like who? What the tattoo on the back?
I don't that I don't think that will ever be OK.
Do you think do you think, like this was planned or do you think he was like having a go? I think you say he fell asleep in his friends, break them back to bed and he has some mental issues and some substance abuse issues that I heard. He's a phenomenal poker player now. Oh, really?
Yeah. He got kicked out of casinos because, like, count cards and shit.
He's also a phenomenal actor, writer and writer guy all around now. Oh, yeah. I don't know.
We don't know. But we can make accusations.
I feel like that's what this accusation that they were watching. This episode of also back season three hit that subscribe on turning notifications are going to be great. I see. Sign.