Hold, primate listening. It is I, Numator 479. According to our studies of your puny, mamalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake and vivacious, you give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack coffee. Reptilian in the morning, our proprietary blend of lightly roast cocaiohasks will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pain coaca with all your slippery new eggs. Thanks, honey. How I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Egs of Spring Hill Jack and Last Hot Gas on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.

On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I've got a death wish. It's me, Ches Bronson. You've never heard my Charles Bronson?

I've never heard your Charles Bronson.

It's me, it's Ches Brent.

It It sounds like Bob Dylan. No. Hey, I'm Ches Bronson.

That's you being Bob Dylan. I'm from Hibbon. No, now you're making me Bob Dylan. I'm Ches Bronson. What did you do to my wife?

What did you do?

Jeff Goldbloom. What did you do to my wife? That's my resolution.

I'm from Hibbon, Minnesota.

I'm from Hibbon, Minnesota. That's Bob Dylan. Again, it's different. You're doing sing-songing.

I thought he was from Dulce.

Hibbon.

Oh.

Hibbon.

But now it's more Now, Bob Dylan,. We can do this all day.

Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm going to do my New Year's resolution is to perfect my Charles Bronson and to separate it from my Bob Dylan. Wow.

I think that's great. I would love to do a Death Wish watch party, man. That'd be nice. Just go through all six of them.

Well, before we get to that, that's Ed Larson. That's the man who wants to watch all the Death Wish's.

Yes, I have a Death Wish for Death Wish.

He does. We've got Henry Zbrowski who's working on his- Charles Branson.

I'm trying to get a MRI machine because it's women's concealed handgun defy. I'm trying to get it into… That's how you lock it in.

My name is Marcus Parks, and my New Year's resolution is to get more in tune with the Earth.

You mean bury yourself alive?

You already dig daily.

How much more? Is it just you're going to be rolling around in soil?

No, that's the problem, though, is that my house only has so much dirt, and you can only dig dig so much because that's the thing. I planted a lot of stuff, and it's all doing really well. My flowers are blooming, they're beautiful, everything's going great, but now I can't dig no more.

Marcus Parks Community Garden.

You are slowly but surely- Think about it. The more connected you are to flowers, you're becoming Kate Bush. This is becoming real.

You put the Bush in Kate Bush.

You don't think she's got a...

Well, I'm talking about an actual one that you plant in the ground. Not the one she sits on every day.

I'm talking about pubes. I'm talking about big crazy pubes, brother. Come on, man.

Come on, Jack.

I'm talking about pubes, doc.

Well, today we got a true crime roundup, but it's also a relaxed bit. We're going to We're going to be talking about various sundries, strange things. We're going to be talking about some stats that have come in. Look, I have- That I think say a lot about this country and a lot about the states.

I do. Honestly, you don't know what is revealed by the tibity taps on your computer. I have Eddie's little computer today because I I got it.

Yeah, I got it. It's very decorated. Henry isn't this friendly. No. No.

Because then we were actually talking about this before the show because it's like, you could have just kept the computer, and I could have not had the computer, but it feels weird because I'm the other guy with the computer.

Yeah, I also planned nothing, so you should have the computer.

He also planned nothing. I planned nothing.

Kate's computer. Get away from me. Yeah, I feel it's nice because they- That's just some emails while you're in there, actually.

I will just say, I'm afraid. I don't like being inside of someone else's computer because I don't want to know what goes on inside of the back of your fucking lizard brain. It's surprisingly boring. I know. It's just mostly like, you probably... What's your main porn search?

My main porn search? Tits.

Like he's a man who just arrived in a time machine.

I don't even need to search. It's just whatever's in front of me, I ain't all that particular.

I like what's popular.

Wow, you did Top 40?

Yeah, I did Top 40 porn. I did the Taylor Swift of porn.

Well, it's on our minds. Let's say before we get into some crime, let's get into some stats. Okay. Pornhub? Okay, well, yes, they are. There's quite a bit of crime going on in PornHub.

There's a lot of crime on PornHub. There's a lot of crime just in general. But I feel like this tells you a lot about members of our constituency.

Of course. They released all the stats of the year for the year, what the top searches are. I mean, it's not anything that surprising. Milf, hentai, so on and so forth. Android I had a 1,000% gain on search.

Now, did you go on, I mean it, did you go on Pornhub and look up Android and see what that even means? Because I don't know if it's just like... Because part of me wonders, is it about Android friendly VR porn?

Well, it is just the search term Android. So what comes up is something different.

Do you care if I do this on here?

There's the private search. Yeah, you want to throw that on there.

I just want to see because I've never heard of that category before. I just want to see what it has.

I never heard of it either. Is it people fucking robots or is it people filming? This is for work.

I want Rob, I want everybody's employee to mark this as for work. It shows up on the thing. This is research for the goddamn job.

This isn't anything we talked about in the office, not into a microphone.

Well, Android is often combined with video game searches. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

So they want- Lesby and sexy robot, Android 18.

Android cosplay, Android roleplay. So they want somebody dressed up as a beep boop robot. Interesting.

But no tinfoil.

I mean, there were past What do you mean? They look like people now.

No, they don't.

Well, I mean, when you put the fake skin on them, they look like people.

We have real dolls, but they're not doing anything. It's not like they can go out and get a job or whatever. They can't protect the house. They just lay there, get fucked, and then have to be washed out.

Arguably a job. I guess they do. I guess they do. Arguably a full-on job. Paid for room and bored.

Paid in room and bored.

It's mostly a service.

Well, the most interesting part of these stats is the United States top relative searches. These are terms searched more often in each state when compared to all the others. Okay.

It's not like which relative they want to fuck.

No. But there is that. There is quite a bit of that as well.

You know what's funny is that there's not a lot of states that have that relative fucking like the whole- Step brothers, step father. Step brothers, step sisters, incest, all that.

You never hear step father.

Why is that? You hear it in gay porn. It shows up in gay. They also have the gay searches. Shows up in gay porn. Daddy is also Very large. Very tall on the list. I was about to say very long on the list.

There was a fucking video I was searching for for the stream that I had found, then someone deleted and I was looking for it for a long time. I didn't think about the connotation. The video, again, if you know what this video is, please send it to sidestorieslpotl@gmail. Com.

Your computer is going to explode.

But the video was of a man, and this was real. He was caught masturbating in public, and it's all video of him masturbating, but real lazily, just masturbating public. But Then you see him being arrested and he's continuing to be to masturbating. Then he continue him to be back. He gets into the cop car and someone's filming him trying to suck his own dick inside of the cop car, right? Because fully erect. You're already in there. He must have had a Red Bull. But then I looked all that up. I looked up man masturbating caught by police.

That's going to be a lot of different.

That's a lot of people. It's really very graphic, and a lot of it's not that video.

Because one of the top searches is also both in gay and straight is uniform, cops, firefighters, soldiers. Sure.

That makes sense. That's popular for all the time. Dudes show up dressed like a cop. Everyone loves it. They take their clothes off. Everyone parties. The fucking practice is blowing them.

But there's no state that But there's no state that has any of those top- What you considered. One of those top searches, one of those things that you would consider like, all right.

No blue lives matter.

Oh, my God. Blue balls matter.

No, it's stuff like, for example, okay, some of them do make sense. Utah, Norman. Utah searches Norman more than anyone else. New Mexico, Native American. More than anybody else. Wyoming, Goth.

Really? Yeah.

I could see goth.

They like the outsiders. There's a little something special.

I could definitely see some Ranch Goth.

Here's also another interesting one. In Nevada, the top search term is Vegas.

You're already there.

Well, that's where all the debauchery is. So if you're in Henderson, you're not going to search Henderson.

That's where you're going to get away from it. You're in Hibn. You're not going to be searching Hibn. But if you search Vegas, you get a little charge and no one's like, Hey, search Las Vegas.

We're not going to burn up a jazz bet.

I remember some of the weird porn I used to get when I was a kid. I used to go to Vegas, and they would just straight... Back in the day, in the '90s, they would just hand you pouring in the street. Yeah, I remember that. They'd be like little stars on the nipples and stuff. I remember being 12 and be like, What?

I guess I could look it up again on his computer.

West Virginia, they'd be into that. Nip That's their biggest one.

Wow, that's interesting. There's some very specific ones.

For example, Texas, creamy. Really? Just simply creamy.

I mean, they like ranch. If there is a… That was where Ranch is mostly a condiment is in Texas, right? Or Wisconsin.

Ranch is also a very heavy condiment in Texas. We also love America. And a lifestyle. It very much is. I Often put the two together. North and South Dakota are strange because they have different search terms, but they're similar. South Dakota, their top is shower sex.

Yeah, because shower sex is bad, too. They just drink It's like pet cemeteries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes. That is better. She's done.

But North Dakota, loud, wet sex.

Interesting.

Okay. Okay. So it's similar. But is it like...

I don't know. I would have never guessed them to be so clean.

But wet sex is like, yeah.

Loud wet sex.

That's just more like, are they in a- That's so specific.

Are they swamp?

Some of them are very specific.

Is it like that? Like a muck?

I don't know what loud wet sex is.

I've never typed that in.

I have never typed that in either.

All the space in South Dakota, I bet they all got real nice showers.

Oh, yeah. Good water pressure. They got stuff that we are not allowed to have here. Yeah, like those special shower heads and stuff. It blows your fucking asshole open.

Here's a very interesting one. Ohio, some of the other ones have big dick. Big dick was a big search term this year. Huge search term. Sure.

Big dick energy, probably.

Ohio, small dick. Interesting. Ohio, very interested in seeing men with small dick.

Explains a lot.

Yeah, that's where all my new family's from.

It really does explain a lot. There you go. Ask your father-in-law.

Yeah, that's right. We're planning I'm getting a call of FaceTime on Christmas.

I feel like this is a good time being like, Hey, Papu, do you call him a special name?

No, Bob.

Oh, yeah. I didn't know. Because that's one of those weird things about calling your wife's father a thing. Because it's like, we don't do dad. Dad's weird. I barely called my dad dad. What do you call Carolina's father? Roberto. You call him Roberto?

It's his name.

You don't call him like, Signor Hidalgo?

No, I just call him Roberto. We're on first name bait. We're friends.

We should make a new name for that guy. You call him like What do you do with your grandpa? You call grandpa like pop is cool. Yeah, pops.

Hey, pops.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being like, It's a wife maker. You're the wife maker.

Hi, wife maker. That's what you say the first time you meet him. Yeah.

I changed my dad's name from dad to pop when I got a little older.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, pop is good. I do take my earlier statement about no cops being on the most relative search list. The district of Columbia, big ass cop.

Big ass cop?

A cop with a big ass.

I think it's a cop with a big ass. I think there's a cop. There's got to be a guy.

There's got to be one guy.

I think there's a woman. I think there's a woman in the district of Columbia. There is a police officer.

Do I have to look this up? Chocolate City, baby. Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing this again. I'm not looking it up again.

Go ahead. Keep the safe search on.

I know. I just went out at work.

I mean, it's fine. If it breaks, you buy me a new computer. No, I'm just...

New York has a weird one.

Bodyswap. Bodyswap?

Yeah. I feel like that is a convention because there's certainly- Freaky Friday? You know what? There's foreign conventions that we're outside of, that we're not as interested in. They'd be up there for the term free use or people being... That's a common term, I I'm familiar with that. That is on the thing, that is on the penography systems. I feel like something like that feels like one of those. It's a category that we don't understand as a category.

The one that, and I love our people in Oklahoma. You know I love you so much. We do. So much. My family's from Oklahoma. I got friends in Oklahoma. You guys are great. But the term, what they googled in relative to everybody else was sex dick.

Sex dick? That's it. That seems uneducated. Yeah.

I have six. Which dick. Because I know how I Google search, and it is always that. It was like, that's how when I did that one view, it was like, Man, masturbates, caught by police. Continuous masturbates while caught by police. Too many details. It's a lot of details, but then that thing of, I guess, just type in, you just need that dick. You're looking to see dick having a sex, and so you just go like, I need sex dick.

Sex dick. Mississippi is the biggest furry state.

Oh, really? I would guess it was Peepee for Peepee-Eye.

I like that. Do you think it's got anything to do with the river? That old man I would never guess the Mississippi to be furries, though.

I would never expect them to go out and buy costumes in Mississippi. Well, imagine Halloween's boring in Mississippi. True.

But now not anymore. You'd be surprised. I do find that a lot of our listeners that have talked about being into those types of lifestyles, they do actually come from a place where there's less stuff to do because it's a beautiful hobby if you're into it. You get to make all the costumes, you get to figure out because, again, we've been chastised many times before. It's not just sex. A lot of furries.

It's like rubbing and just hanging out, too.

It's a lot of just hanging out.

It's just not being a person. It's being a sexy fox.

I had a very interesting trip once in Boston. We were doing the cop roast, and we were staying at the Hilton. During while I was at the Hilton, there was a video game convention there and a furry convention, and WWE was in town. So the bar was nuts. Oh, yeah, buddy. It was like a bunch of cops, wrest, furries and nerds. Seriously. Everyone was just getting hammered.

Just one bar of deodorant. I'll go ahead and say it.

I'll give a shit. He was a disaster. Everyone was staying away from him. He was being real scary.

He is scary. He also continues to be a very large man.

Yeah, but the furries were all over the place. I got to say, they're all sweet.

Oh, of course. They're all so kind. Of course, they're kind. Of course, they're sweet. I would imagine there's a bit of a Venn diagram between the furries and the video gamers.

Yeah, and the video gamers were doing a magic card game. I don't think it was magic, though. They were I'd never seen it. There was like 100 people surrounding them in the lobby, and these two dudes are battling, and people were just fucking screaming and shit. I could only imagine it was like thousands of dollars in magic cards getting put back and forth.

You're going to end up understanding- Tens of thousands. You're going to experience a lot more cons In the next couple of years, you begin to see all the flavors. It's fun. There's many, many flavors because I find that the anime cons are interesting. They're more genuine fans, but they are a little bit more reserved.

It also depends on which con you go to. Some cons are more fun than others. Wonder Con is more fun than San Diego, Comic-Con because Wonder Con is more focused on nerddom and getting together and talking about- Where's that? That's in Anaheim. Oh, cool. That's where I found the Star Trek Society and sat and talked with them about Deep Space 9 for 30 minutes. It was fantastic.

That's so nice.

That's what a comable convention is supposed to be.

I'm about to do your pretty face going to Hell panel in Raleigh. I think it's called... It's the Ana Matrix Con or something like that. January fifth through the seventh, I'm going to be there. Hell, yeah.

While you're there, make sure to search Bubble Butt. That's the number one for North Carolina.

See, that makes a lot of sense.

Now, is that from shitting for too much barbecue? No, bubble butt. You don't know what a bubble butt is. I know what a bubble butt is, but I also know what bubble guts are. I feel like they could be both.

No, a bubble butt. I know what a bubble butt is.

Something you could slap going straight down.

Yes, but I'll say this to our listeners, a lot of times it's fake.

Sometimes it is. So what? Hey, mine ain't.

Bbls. That's right.

You got a big old bubble butt.

The difference, you don't. Unfortunately, you don't have a bubble butt. You don't because you just got the bottom.

Many comments I've had throughout the years.

Desperate men. You actually have a good lower half of butt, a bubble butt. Side story is a P-O-T-L-G You think it's up top? It also connotates the round of the beginning. That is true.

I have more of a rump than a bubble butt. I have an ample rump.

You've got an ass.

You got a butt, to me, a bubble butt. To me, a bubble butt, yes, I agree with what you're saying, but you do have the greatest test is if you slap straight down from the back, you'll hit it.

That's a lesson straight from Tallahassee, Florida.

Henry, you just miss. You fall over.

Oh, yeah. You'll hit mine.

You'll hit that. That's my ultimate trick. All right. Well, I'm glad that we did. Now that we have- Florida. What's Florida?

Florida is very broad.

Fantasy.

Fantasy? Really? Because they seem so uncreative.

Fantasy.

Yeah, that's so weird. Maybe it's Disney World.

No.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah.

I bet it is. There's a lot of Disney-based porn. Well, of course.

Oh, yeah.

You kidding me?

I also take it back. There is one stepmom. However, it's a specific stepmom. It's California. It's here. Asian stepmom.

Yeah. Well, we're on the Pacific Coast. Hey, man.

They see it a lot.

Makes sense. And Idaho is dildo ride, Oregon's nudist, and Washington is sensual sex. So that takes care of the entire West Coast.

Just type it in sensual sex. What are you, Luther Vandross? They're so emotional.

The suicide rate's so high. It's raining all the time. They just want to love.

They just go… Then he puts a saxophone down. Then it's like, Sensual sex. I want a soft curtain.

Well, it's mostly it's just the backgrounds are nicer. There's not as much pounding. Well, they call that… There's not enough like, Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. They're produced the sounds.

They got a sound guy.

Softer lighting.

Isn't the whole thing that's called like, Porn for Ladies? It's the whole thing.

Yeah. Sintual sex.

Yeah, where it's not just, yeah, Ripping and gapin. Some of it's petting and kissing.

You know who loves rippin and gapin? That's Connecticut. Double vaginal. Double vaginal.

There we go.

Good for them. Commuter state.

A lot of time in the car to let your mind wander.

What's Alabama? I bet two can get in there.

Alabama, Fingering myself.

Yeah, just do it. That's a long-What is wrong with you guys? How lazy are you?

It's also a very, very long search term.

Kentucky's is really fun. Bouncing boobs.

As long as it's not horses anymore.

Yeah, utters.

I'm sorry. I just have to know. Hawaii?

Hawaiian.

Good for them. Yeah.

They're very proud. I love that shit. I love that shit, too. I find that selfish.

Selfish? Yeah. Why?

Surrounded by it. Love yourself. It's an island country. Think about outside the box, man.

No, man. Love yourself. Love your people. Be I know.

I'm just saying, they keep a local there a lot in Hawaii.

Alaska does have said Alaska, loneliness, sex doll, number one. Oh, wow.

Man, you would go online to watch somebody else fuck a sex doll?

Well, you can't afford it. That's true. They're expensive. A good one's very expensive.

Not a cheap one.

If you're just type it in sex doll- You can get a car for a sex doll price.

Yeah, you really can. I guess. No, yeah, because the highest in $14,000.

It sounds like you need one.

Yeah. I do also love Nebraska. Nebraska is this very It's very innocent. Rub.

Rub. Honestly, it sounds more like barbecue. Also, now I want to get a fucking bumper sticker, which we should sell as merch. My other car is a sex doll. That is a great bumper sticker.

That's fantastic. Trademark. We did that. Mailing the episode to ourselves. We own it now. It's ours. Trademark, trademark, trademark. All rights reserved.

Drive from your grave.

Let's Let's get to some true cry.

Yes, please. Peaking his shoot in the butt.

You got to do it. Hell, yeah. Good job. A newly filed report by the Food and Drug Administration describes an incident in a Wisconsin hospital where a woman was shot in the buttocks after bringing a gun into a room with an MRI machine.

You've ever had an MRI?

Yeah, but not when I was 16, I did.

Yeah.

They're horrible. I've had so many of them.

I thought I was going to hate it more than I did. Yeah. Yeah, I really did. It's just one of those things. I was like, All right, I'm doing this.

They pump in the thing where they're Sal away, Sal away, sal away. That's the type of music that drives me into a homicidal rage.

Yeah, like massage parlor music.

I hate it. Lofy beats. I hate Lofy beats. Or the worst is the Delta, when you're waiting on the plane, the Delta, that waiting music where it's trying to relax you, where it's just all like, You never going to sing. Trust me That's why I'm going to fucking take off the fucking top of this plane.

Virgin was always cool. They play Michael Jackson and shit. Yeah.

But is that cool?

So he brought- On Halloween?

On Halloween, it was.

Do you think she brought the gun in there just because she felt unsafe?

I think she forgot she had the gun on her.

How can you- Lots of people just fucking carry guns everywhere they go.

It's crazy. People you would never- They don't fuck you. At the hospital? Dude, there's these old Jewish guys in South Florida, they're always strapped. You would never think it.

My dad was. My dad was always strapped.

Yeah, so many people are... It's become such a crazy thing in our society. Just assume everyone has a gun.

Now, the 57-year-old woman brought the concealed handgun into the room. The gun was attracted to the magnet of the MRI and fired a single round which hit her in the right buttock. Small and superficial wound, however, and she was healing well shortly afterwards.

Yeah, but now she's going to buy a new fucking MRI machine.

Well, no, she just shot herself.

Yeah, thank God. The question to you is, well, fuck that. Honestly, you're the moron. You deserve whatever bill you fucking get. But she's just extremely lucky it didn't hurt somebody else.

She really is. She had been asked throughout the screening process. You packing? She's like, Do you have any objects containing iron? The woman said, No.

No? I got mine from a 3D printer. I'm going to fool everyone because I feel that's a part of it. It's like you can't.

What What does she think is going to fucking happen? She's getting an MRI.

But don't you have a hospital gown on?

You think you got to cap the fucking nurse?

You have this big diaphonous flappy thing on your body. Your ass is hanging out. Where's the gun attached?

Last time I got an MRI, I didn't have to put on the hospital gown. You didn't have to get your underwear? No, not the last time I had one.

You're really?

Yeah.

You just go in clothes?

That's what they put me in there for. I was in that fucking thing because they were trying to figure out the long COVID and trying to figure out the headaches, trying to figure out if any of fucking nerves weren't working.

What about your zipper? Was that a problem?

I said it wasn't a problem.

Then they go in there and they were like, Well, your lungs don't work, but you got a real long, skinny dick.

Thank you. Thank you. It stays long, but it gets thicker.

It does get thicker. But the idea of, Oh, God, you got this fucking... Because you're scared. You're paranoid, man.

Oh, yeah, man. The gun becomes a safety blanket to you where you just have it on you at all times because you never know what might happen.

They just need to have it. You should probably brush your teeth with the fucking thing.

This is my brother, my babysitter. I love my gun. Because I'd be also cool. You just leave the gun home with the kids. That could watch the kids. If they're ever in danger, they use the babysitter.

That's how most children get shot because they find the gun when the daddy's at home. Because I found my dad's gun when we were at home alone. I'm not a father. When we were at home alone. Yeah. Real lucky I didn't kill anyone with that thing. Oh, yeah. Because it was a big You played with it a lot, right? Oh, yeah, I definitely played with the gun. Yeah. Of course. Yeah, because you know why I found it? Because they kept it right next to where they hid the Christmas presents.

You can't hide the Christmas presents next to the gun.

I always knew where they hid the Christmas presents. I looked up there and then there was the gun. I grabbed the gun and I played with the gun. The gun was definitely loaded.

It was a big revolver. That's a good notice, all your parents. Guess what? In case you've forgotten being a child, they know where the presents are.

They look for everything.

They know where They are. They've already found them. They found whatever garbage, whatever horrible pictures you and your wife took back when you were fun, they found them. They found the drugs. If you got drugs hiding somewhere, they found them. That's just how it is. You need a safe.

You got to have a safe. You got to have a safe. Yeah, but then he wanted to have it fast.

Well, then he should be packing. If he's got that gun on him, it should be on his belt.

Yeah, it is.

You know what I always said for that? Because Julie and I were legitimately talking getting a gun and trying to figure out what it was. I figured if we ever did get a gun, I would get a shotgun and sand pellets. That way, if I ever, God forbid, I ever had to shoot somebody, they would live.

Yeah, the rock salt.

Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm getting one atomic bomb. As long as I have one, if I just have one atomic bomb, I don't have to do anything ever again.

That would be nice.

Not Non-negotiable. I think I'm Henry non-negotiable, Zabrowski.

You could sell it. You'd probably get some good money.

The Lord of Brinkmanship. No, buddy. Because as soon as you don't have the atomic bomb, you lose all those wonderful atomic bomb fucking, what you get from it, dog. Leverage. Leverage.

Leverage.

Let's move on to the next story. This one is one of those accidental death stories. In a shocking incident, a 36-year-old man died after he was punched in the nose by his wife after he refused to take her to Dubai Dubai for her birthday celebration. It tracks.

If you feel like you need to promise- Was this here? This is India. The idea you have to promise your wife to go to Dubai, which is actually, it doesn't sound like it's super great.

No, I mean, it's very expensive. The fish tank looks great.

It's a city built on modern slave labor, which is hard. Then they pump a lot of stuff in there, and it's weird. You can't drink. You can't really hang out unless you go into these private clubs. But Do you believe that means you were also subject to being arrested at any point? Quite possibly. I don't know. I don't really know how that works.

It just seems like a headache to have a decent time.

Well, you have to know somebody. You have to be connected.

Long Beach is right around the corner. Just fucking go there. What happened? Did the nose thing go into his brain? I thought that was a myth.

Well, as for the primary investigation, it has been revealed that the couple had a fight because Nakeel, that's the husband's name, did not take Ranauka to Dubai to celebrate her birthday and did not give her expensive gifts on her birthday and anniversary. Ranauka was also upset that Nakeel was not giving a favorable response to her wish to go to Delhi to celebrate the birthdays of some relatives. The police further informed that during the fight, Ranauka punched Nakeel in the face. The impact of the punch was so hard that Nakeel's nose and some teeth were broken. With heavy bleeding, Nikhil lost consciousness and died.

I feel like it's strong as this woman.

It's also incredibly strong. That's insane.

It shows the position. It's Remembering to... It's good to remind our audiences that you have to really be careful when you punch somebody in the face. Because I actually think it's not even as strong as you think. It's more about an angle.

It just hit the honey spot.

It hit the honey spot, the right angle with the right amount of force and not surprising somebody, like popping them in the face. You'd be surprised what could happen.

You think she had brass knuckles?

No, I just said she was punched. I don't know if she had brass knuckles or not. They said just straight, full on fist.

Man, she's going to have a weird time in prison. Yeah, everyone's going to challenge her and try to get punched by her and shit.

Yeah, she kills another mother. Then she becomes one punch woman.

Stonehands. She becomes the lady, Roberto Durán.

Stonehands Kana. That would be her name. Her name is Renuka Kana. They're like, Stonehands Kana sounds fucking badass.

It does, right? They try I would say that you would have to... So apparently in Dubai, traveling Dubai as a woman, I'm now obsessed with this, I guess tourists can just wear regular clothes, but for the most part, if you're going to any form of mosque, you have to dress traditionally, especially as a woman. But it's just weird because it seems like it's a schizophrenic lifestyle where they profess to.

There's camels next to Lamborghini's. I don't even know how to deal with that.

It's schizophrenic in the fact that they want to bring in Western tourists. They want to bring in the Western element while also maintaining that they must live by Muslim values. That the people there, that it is a theocracy.

Now, where Where is Dubai? It's not its own country.

It's in the United Arab Emirates, I believe. Okay. It's a city in the UAE. Okay.

Yeah. I just don't reason. There's so many cooler places.

Tourists are allowed to go. You can drink in Dubai, but you have to go to a special place. Like, literally, you have to go and find a place.

It's like when I drank at Bagdad, it was on the base.

I always forget you went to Bagdad. Yeah, I brought you dirt. Yeah, that was great. I got that dirt.

He went to Bagdad, but Bagdad never left him. Look at him, scarred forever. The mortar shells.

I made a mental choice to not make a joke there.

You look like a guy who's been to Bagdad. If you're watching the video right now, you can see.

The name of the bar, are you ready for this? Bagdaddies. I was going to guess Bagdaddies.

It's cute. Apparently, the big thing, they do brunch on Fridays in Dubai.

Those fucking weirdos.

Yeah, that's fucking weird, dude. That's not what it's supposed to be done.

You think they have different weekends than us?

Whoa, and they got Abu Dhabi. That's where Normal went. Normal went to Abu Dhabi? Yeah, he mailed him to Abu Dhabi.

That's what Garfield was always trying What he did do is that he was always trying to sit normal to Abu Dhabi. That's a great joke.

He put this cat. Yeah, that's great.

He put this living creature in a box with no holes, and they always caught him right before the mailman picked it up.

It's It still gets me.

Man, I don't want to fucking go. That crazy cat, Garfield. He does whatever he wants.

Yeah, go to Monaco. You know where's the dangerous place I want to go? Cairo.

I do want to go to Cairo.

I want to go to Cairo, and I want to go to Morocco, too.

Yeah, I'd love to go to Morocco. I hear both those places are fucking great.

I also definitely want to do the Passion of the Christ tour. Oh, yeah. That's how I view it. Go down there. It's my view. It's hard.

You got to get the cross on you. Oh, yeah, of course.

Oh, feel sorry for me. This hat sucks. Do you know who my father is?

Wow. I mean, yeah, the one punch kill. It doesn't happen often. But it does. But it does happen. Eighty people between It's actually, well, and actually this is in India, 80 people have lost their lives from one punch since 2007. There's a lot of people in India, though. Oh, yeah.

They're like number two. Number one now.

Oh, they're number one now? Yeah. They're the most populous nation in the fucking Way to get them. Yeah, man. That's crazy, man.

Because one punch is one thing. Sometimes someone will punch you and then you fall and hit your head. That's one thing. But this is just a punch kills you.

Well, that's number three. It happens in one of three ways. First, fatal damage can be caused to the brain. The force of impact can cause the tearing of veins to the brain, leading to fatal internal bleeding, which it sounds like what happened to this guy. Secondly, a person who has been knocked out can stop breathing, and they die of asphyxiation. Or third, even a relatively ineffectual punch can knock somebody over and cause them to bang their head and sustain a fatal secondary injury. It seems like this guy, considering the amount of blood they mentioned in the story, he probably died from the first. Fucking wild. Like you said, crazy spot. Just pop it.

Do you think she just looks at her hands and it's just like, What are these?

I'm a man, I'm a man. I'm a man, I'm these hats. I hate millions. Well, you know what it says here? Dubai is not as as conservative as you thought.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. It sounds like a travel website.

No, it's no way. It says here, it's been like, Oh, you can leave your belongings wherever you go. Because yes, some people may find their government administrators strict, but they said that, and yes, it was they do use the term rule the city with an iron fist. What that means is that there's no crime.

It sounds a lot like Scientology. Unless you've heard it from us, don't believe it. Curious. Curious. Audio.

In Iran, I remember they have the finger chopping machine. Where they put your finger in and they chop it off. You get caught stealing something. I always thought the ultimate thing to steal would be the finger chopping machine.

That'd be awesome. Now see what you do with it. Now see what you can do. Meanwhile, they've just been like, We will just use your shibitar.

We have more than one. This woman, she has been charged with murder. We'll see if there are any developments in the future.

Oh, you're not allowed to swear in public?

In Dubai. No. How?

They fucking... If they hear you, they arrest you. Then you're also no public displays of affection.

This is demolition, man.

No, man. No, it is not as conservative as you think. I read this somewhere. It says here, It's an enjoyable experience. Go experience the ease of the slave driver lifestyle. It's incredible.

I I got a fun story that harkens a little bit back to our necrophilia episode. Please. It's not necrophilia. It's necrophept. Yeah. Okay. An investigator with a Los Angeles County medical examiner has been charged with stealing a gold necklace and rare coins from two dead people while on the job.

It's fucking Johnny Depp.

That's got to happen daily, right?

Yeah, it happens all the time. They just don't get caught.

They don't get caught. I still feel like it's frowned upon because what if the spirit of the thing follows you?

I would imagine that these people don't really think a whole lot about the spirit world.

Wait till you got... We have some stories coming up in 2024 that I'm very excited for. Me too. That will teach you a couple of lessons about stealing things and removing objects from the dead that don't belong to you.

I think that what they should do is just get a bunch of fake necklaces and just always have them. Just let them go.

To see if you could switch them. Yeah, you're talking about what my mom used to do where she was like, Henry Thomas, you got to make sure that we have two wallets, and then you have one wallet. Keep your money in your shoe. Then you keep a spare wallet that has just one card in it so they don't think that that's fake. But then you have another empty wallet in case you have to run, Henry Thomas, because then what you do is you throw the wallet, and then you run in the opposite direction.

Yeah, but didn't you get mugged four times?

Very much so. You should have listened to her. It was before I did that. I had no money. I had a Discman.

I had nothing. I can't believe they took the Discman. It was the last month that a Discman Discman was a thing. They didn't take the Discman.

I always remember the guy's face because he literally was like, What am I going to do with this?

Yeah, because he asked for your iPod.

Yeah, he's like, Where's your iPod, man? I was like, I have a Discman. Then the look of disappointed in me that he had. I was just being like, Damn, you don't have a fucking...

It's like, I live in your neighborhood.

Yeah, bro. I'm here, dude. I'm scared, man. I'm just like you, dude. You and me together. Let's go motherfuckers. We don't have anything, man. Let's just fucking go, dude. Let's go. I'll show you where the rich people are. It's not here.

The Los Angeles County district Attorney's office announced Wednesday that Adrian Munoz, 34, had been charged with one felony count of grand theft and one misdemeanor count of petty theft. Prosecutor said he stole a gold crucifix necklace off the body of a warehouse worker who died of a heart attack on the job this January.

That's That's fucked up.

That bothers me, actually. Because as much as I don't believe in God at all, let this fucking warehouse worker and his family know that he has his necklace.

Let him be buried with his gold necklace.

Yeah, that's his necklace.

After the family reported the theft, investigators searched Munoz's desk and found antique coins, along with the receipt that belonged to a man whose death he had investigated in November of last year.

This is the beginning of a horror movie.

Yeah, this is just a guy rifling through the pockets of the dead and taking away. I mean, who knows what else he took?

Because if you believe back in the day, there are some people that purposely have left money with the dead because the old way when you'd leave the coins and the high walls.

Yeah, so they can pay the man on the River Styx, the ferry man on the River Styx.

You pay Kyron. Yes. Then because I guess if not, soul wanders the planet Earth.

Wanders the banks of the River Styx.

Then shows up at your fucking house, right? Steals your belt like I had to deal with.

Still on that fucking belt thing.

It was still one of the weirdest things that's ever happened.

The more interesting story to me is who died with a bunch of ancient coins in their pockets?

That's the thing, man. If you collect coins, there's a chance you fucking die on the way home from the coin store.

Yeah, which there is one around here.

You know what? That's one of the things I keep. It's cool. I'm trying to not let myself get an ancient coin collecting. I feel like it's something that I would really enjoy. How much is a doubloon? I don't know. I haven't started the collection yet.

You're going to become a numismatist?

Is that what a man who collects coins is?

Yeah, you fucking nerd.

Coins are great for burying. Not to talk you into this, but they're really good in the ground.

How much is an old doubloon? This is what I'm looking at. How much is an old doubloon?

Actually, I do have a bunch of pennies, and maybe I should bury those in my garden. Why not? That sounds like a way to kill three hours.

A standard Spanish doubloon has an average US price of $4,000.

Damn. Park your money in some doubloons.

Absolutely.

The government's going to come after you. They don't know you got this fucking bucket of doubloons.

We're slowly becoming Coast to Coast AM. We're just selling gold for cash, but we don't even have a service attached to it. We're just telling people to do it. I'm, whoa, this one's $45,000. Damn. I remember- This was 1972. 1972.

When I got my mom's life insurance money, my buddy's dad was like, buy a bunch of silver, put it under your bed.

This is all All the old New York people that was around my mother just being like, What if he just put it all in one giant gold frame? Then you put a family picture in it, and no one knows that all of your wealth is in one gold frame on your house.

It's the most fucking stupid queen's idea I've ever heard my life.

It's very fucking stupid.

What happens if the house burns down?

Well, the gold melts, and then you get that puddle.

You'll find the puddle. You tell the firefighter, Look for a golden puddle.

That just so you know, that's fake, but it's It's got a lot of emotional importance to me. Okay? No, man, you can get into balloons. I feel like if you get into coin collecting, we talked a little bit about this, you and me, the other day about you do have... You do, obviously, you collect I love collections.

Yeah, we went to the Rose Bowl flea market the other day together. It was nice. We had a boys' antiquing day. That's very sweet.

I like that.

Still, though, this shit's fucking expensive. Is it 18 grand for a fucking coin? I don't have to.

I don't have to pay 18 grand for a coin. I could just be like, Hey, you got any of those Kennedy half dollars?

Well, yeah, this is fucking what's this? Wow, this is a fucking 17 grand quarter?

It must be two-sided or something.

I got to go through my old fucking change.

Oh, yeah. You've given away thousands of dollars without even knowing.

I told you to happen with my niece. Where she found my old baseball card collection, and she opened it up, and she was like, Uncle Henry, can I have this? Like, all the kids at school think baseball cards are fun now. I was like, Yeah, sure. All right. And then I was like, Hold on a second. I pulled it out. I went through some of it, and I found this Baba Binia rookie card from the Pittsburgh Pirates. Wow. And I fucking looked it up. It was like 750 bucks, right? And I was like, Give me this fucking card. I was like, This is a game. This is a game you're playing. You know I'm stupid. She was just like, I didn't know that they'd be worth a lot of money. I was like, This is fucking...

Yeah, I didn't know. She knew.

I remember when I I got all my cards back. I do giant Tupperware bins of cards. I'm like, What the fuck am I going to do with these things? I called up a couple of card stores, and they all were like, It's worthless. No, most of it's worthless.

The rest of it's probably worthless.

Most of it is because- Because in the '90s and '80s, they over and everything. But the old shit still is a lot of money.

It's the thing. I got a Michael Jordan rookie card that was given to me by a pedophile because he was grooming me. Cool. But that means I also have a Dominique Wilkins' rookie card. Wow. He said it was worth it. The Michael Jordan I mean, that's the- You never had to suck his dick. I never got molested.

The Hawk's another predator. But Andre Johnson's like, Oh, he's the human highlight machine. Fuck.

But I never got molested, but I did get a very valuable basketball card out of it that I still have.

Who are you going to sell it?

Maybe someday. I don't know.

I'd take it.

I'm not going to give it to you.

Michael Jordan. I'm not going to buy it.

You can buy it. I'll fence it. You can buy it from me.

Let me fence it for you.

No, buy it from me.

No, I'll give me a big.

I'm not going to give you a big?

Give me a little big. I'll go, I got a guy. I'll go down by the fucking wharf.

I can get a guy. I don't need to. Baseball cards are very easy to sell.

I got your guy. What's his name? I got the guy. Let's just say his name is... Let's just say his name's Tony.

Tony. Tony, the baseball card dealer down by the wharf.

Yeah, my guy. Yeah.

So San Francisco? Because that's the only wharf I could think of.

It's Little San Francisco in LA. Have you ever been to Little San Francisco? It's called Skid Row. Downtown.

That's pretty much all we got with the guy. He stole the Gold Cross, he stole the coins. But now they're in the process of investigating what the fuck else did this guy steal. Of course.

Because that's- I'm sure all kinds of shit.

There's no way that's the only thing he stole. But that's the beginning of a horror movie. Never steal from the dead. I know that is truly a very few rules, and that's one of them.

What if they've been dead a long time?

What if they've been dead like 100 years? Then it's archeology.

Ulscs grant. You could steal from his shit.

But I think that's why archeologists don't get paid a lot of money because they're cursed.

Then they should get paid a lot of money.

No, it's the opposite. It's that you get your jollies. That's all they're doing. They're doing it for the sexual pleasure.

So are all museums haunted then?

I find that you've seen Indiana Judges?

Yes.

I've seen the relic. But it's scary in a museum at night. Fucking Ben Stiller's a man. Anything. He These gay things come alive. I would find the energy to be haunted. When we went, we had the private tour of the British Museum.

The British Museum is definitely haunted.

There's just a concentrated energy there that is...

It's wild. Yeah. The museum that I went to in Stockholm that had the entire remains of an entire medieval battle, all of their skulls and bodies. They showed a dude's skull with the wound, and it showed you exactly how he died. This was the weapon that they used. This was how the fucking angle came down.

God, was you embarrassed already? I knew that was all the time.

My whole life. All the time. People just filing through.

This fucking guy refused to defend himself.

Yes, wussy. Now, he's blazing throughout the ages. Right from your grave.

I got a story. It's a bit of a blast from the past that somebody's finally paying for. The former mayor of Oceela Mills. Do you know Oceela Mills? No. It's in Pennsylvania. No, I don't know. She was sentenced to prison time after- Oceola Mills.

Oceola Mills. That's a Florida word.

It's an indigenous word, Oceola. But it happened in Pennsylvania. She was sentenced to prison time after firing a gun at Pokémon Go players in 2022.

Man, in 2022? Yeah. That was after the craze.

It was.

People still do it.

Oh, yeah, of course.

People are still Pokémon going.

Yeah. Ida Reims was sentenced Monday to- Mayor Reims Reims. That's great. Mayor Reims was sentenced Monday, December 11th, to up to one year in jail, plus 18 months probation. That's it?

One year for attempted murder?

Well, for her 2022 outburst against two people playing Pokemon Go. Outburst?

It'd be different if he drove past them and called. I don't know what a good slur is for Pokemon people, but the idea of driving past and just going, No! Then shooting at them.

The incident at the Community Food Bank on Lingle Street. In the original criminal complaint, police listened to the 911 call and said that Reims audibly told the duo to get out right now and that she would, quote, fucking kill them. This is at the Food Bank? At the Food Bank on Lingle Street.

She worked there?

Yeah, she was just there.

Well, Community Food Bank is probably where you'd be doing volunteering.

Well, the man said that he and his friends were playing Pokemon Go when Reims came came out of the community food bank, noticeably intoxicated and started yelling at them.

It is offensive to be running around a food bank trying to catch Pokemon with your iPhone, I will say. Yeah, I guess so. Not saying that she did the right thing.

It seems like it was public land. Yeah.

Can you get fucking liquor at the food bank?

I think she brought liquor to the food bank.

She probably got that at the liquor bank.

Yeah, I went to the fucking liquor grocery store or whatever. What is this?

But after the people called 911 and heard her saying that she'd fucking kill them, they heard two gunshots and the call disconnected. Yeah. They thought that police thought these kids were fucking dead.

Yeah, she's lucky she didn't get killed when they showed up. Yeah.

But you know what? She respectively stood down as mayor of Oceola Mills in 2021 because she said, Basically, she won enough.

Hold on. She was the actual mayor? Yes.

She was the former mayor. Two-term.

Yeah. Popular.

Yeah. Oceola Mills. One in 2013, one re-election in 2017.

I like her because she's real.

I I think there's more to the story. You think so? I think these kids did something.

He's blaming the kids.

I think these kids set her off, and we're not learning about something else that happened.

I think that Mayor Reims should have taken the opportunity to be above.

She is out of line. Yes.

She shot at children.

Yeah, but I think that- Because you know, Gurnie, our beloved PA here, Tierso, they're a Pokémon GO person.

Yeah, of course. There's nothing wrong with being Pokémon Go person.

Do you think that Kelly deserves to get shot at by a mayor? I'm not saying that these kids deserve to get shot at. No, Rob doesn't think so. I don't think so.

But I think there's more to the story.

The thing is they're following the Pokémon. They're going after the Pokémons.

What if they're grabbing her pussy and shit? They're like, What's up, bitch? You used to be the man, now you're nothing. That would be in the article. But we don't know. It's all hearsay, so I put it in the article.

Also, I believe you do need permission from the Pokémon people to put a monster in the side of your pussy.

Here's what's interesting, though. I found another report that said that referred to the two people playing Pokemon Go as two men. I don't know if they're kids or not.

This is misogynist. Okay. Men can play Pokémon Go.

I'm just saying that they might be a little older because we're talking about them like they're a bunch of kids.

It could be 18.

But guess what, man? Whatever gets you out of the house, it's just Pokemon Go.

They were just in a parking lot. You're allowed to be in the parking lot. It's not like they're frollicking on the front steps of the food bank.

Don't businesses have to approve? Isn't that real with the Pokemon Go? Don't they have to do the thing? They're like, Yeah, you could have one of the Pokemon monster things in my establishment. That's okay.

I think you have to have... If you go inside.

Yeah. It's outside. It's fine. It's a parking lot.

Yeah, it's a parking lot.

Were they just walking through looking for the monsters?

They just wandering They're on the parking lot looking for the monster. Yeah.

I find it offensive how many are at Pearl Harbor.

Through a lot.

Let me look that up. Pokémon Go. Pokémon Go to Pearl Harbor. There has to be, right? Don't they have them everywhere?

Yeah, but they're just in the water. Yeah.

Okay, here we go. Okay, Pokémon spawning on military base question. As is well known, Pokémon did not spawn on most, if not all military bases without a lure module at a Poké Stop. Because something was a change because I just caught three within five minutes that spawned without a lure and not at a Poka Stop on a base where they never spawn before. So these Pokamons are jumping into our military bases. We got to fucking stop this shit.

This is not good.

We're getting invaded from the inside from Pokémons.

I have some interesting further information about this case, and you were right, Ed. It might be a little more complicated than we thought at first. In January 2023, a plea requires she serve seven days to one year in the county jail for these charges. After this was rejected, she was back in court in March for a sentence of four months home detention. By the way, she's got cancer. She wants to die in peace. This was also rejected in the case schedule for jury selection.

She doesn't want to die in war?

But when the trial was set to begin in October, officials discovered neither of the victims were available to testify. One had been subpoenaed but didn't show up for court, and the second could not be located after he was released from state prison in an unrelated case.

These are bad dudes. This might actually be... Wow, you actually might be right. They might actually be bad guys.

At that time, district Attorney Ryan Sayer commented that the victims have been hostile since the beginning of the case, which was one of the reasons they withdrawn two counts of aggravated assault at that stage and offered the other two plea agreements. Interesting. According to the affidavit, Reims called police saying she was in the parking lot at the corner of curtain and Lingle Street. She claimed, well, okay, this is where it gets a little dicey. You don't really know with this. She claimed two men were looking suspicious. So she asked where they were from and why they were there. Do not know the races of the people involved here. But she explained that she was, quote, receiving a lot of harassment in this town, and she was, quote, unquote, done, adding that, quote, it's going to be bad. She was clearly intoxicated. I think this may have more to do with her being just a paranoid person, thinking that the town's out to get her. Sounds complicated. And being really fucking drunk. I think there might be a lot of assholes in this story.

Yeah, I think everybody's not. I think the only person that's okay in this whole thing is Pikachu. Because there's a lot of rules here. Apparently, they were showing up on military basis. It's Pokémon Go. They were showing up on military basis, and they were having problems because people were getting in car accidents on military basis while playing Pokémon Go and actively serving in the military.

I see. That's a bad idea.

Yeah, but it's also just data aggregator.

Free training, I'd say. Capture.

See, I think it'd be cool because I think Poké Balls. Right?

Yeah, that's the thing.

It's not Poké Balls? That's part of it. That's what I like. That's what I like.

I like a Poké Ball. Of course. Who doesn't?

Yeah, but a Poké Ball.

I mean, is that what that is?

Is that what they call it? The ball?

A poke ball?

Yeah, they have balls. They capture the monsters in them?

Do they wrap?

Yes. Okay.

There we are.

There we are.

I don't know anything about these Pikachu, man.

I got one last story. Yes. You can find anything inside a worn couch, including a Florida fugitive who spent weeks on the lamb for a probation violation for the sale of fentanyl. Police have been searching for Stacey Usher, 39 since early November, for allegedly breaking her probation by selling fentanyl and unlawfully using a two-way communication device. So apparently, she was barred from using a cell phone. She was recently named the Sheriff's Office's Warrant of the Week with her mug and charges posted on social media. On Tuesday, her game of hide and seek came to a crushing end when she was found stuffed tightly inside a couch where she tried to evade capture by burying herself under the cushions.

I'm just a bunch of M&A's. Sounds like what's his name? Danny DeVito from Always Sunny.

Yeah. I want to show you a picture.

I'm just M&A's.

She's in there.

Yeah. Wow. Hiding Steep champion has been felt. Because that's a hard way to go. How long she thought?

I guess with the Fentanyl. You run out of air eventually.

When the Fentanyl really comes into play, it's this idea of, I'll just be a couch.

I'm a couch.

I'm a couch. You can't arrest me. I identify as a couch as long as far as I was concerned, you're not the furniture police.

What does fentanyl do to you? What's the high?

It makes you super relaxed. It's like coating, oxycodon. It's not necessarily a high as much as it is a numb.

Then why do they put it and blow? Isn't that counterproductive? It's all bad. There's a reason why.

I can't remember exactly what it is, but there is a reason why.

Why do Actually, I looked it up. I do.

Partially, I think it's because- I hate that you forgot your computer.

Why is Fentanyl in cocaine? Why is Fentanyl awesome to cut cocaine with?

Well, I know that the reason why they cut fentanyl with cocaine and why it's a big problem is because cocaine and heroin are both dependent on plants. They have to be made from coca seeds or coca beans or seeds. I can't remember which one is the coca plant or poppy seeds, where fentanyl is like meth, it can be manufactured anywhere. They can manufacture fentanyl, they can manufacture meth, but cocaine and heroin, that takes a lot more production.

According to this ABC news article, it's because number one, fentanyl is It doesn't always kill people. Just a lot of times kills people because it depends on what the purity of the fentanyl and what your tolerance levels are. Also, apparently, just straight up, fentanyl is cheaper. They used to use baby laxative. But actually, baby laxative actually sounds like a much healthier up. It just makes you shit your pants.

I never shit my pants. I was full of baby laxative in the late 2000s.

I didn't even think you ate it. I think it's when a fat guy does a bunch of cocaine, the diarrhea comes into play. Look at Ardilang.

How many dogs can you put in you? You weren't doing that.

Seriously, Ardilang, the only guy who got fatter on cocaine and heroin. It's crazy.

That takes it a feet. It's impressive. That's probably what kept him alive, to be honest with you, is that he was actually eating food.

Could be.

You learned a lesson here today. We learned a lot. Your computer learned a lot.

Yeah, your search history has definitely been altered.

Yes, which I'm really happy for, but just don't do it. For this New Year's Eve, if you're going out there and you're going to try to do a little powder there, you're going to be the nanny of your group. Get those test string strips.

It's a test strip.

It doesn't matter. Get the strips. It's a new day.

It's a new day. You can get them on Amazon for fuck's sake. I hate Amazon.

Yeah. Or just don't do the Coke.

Yeah, yes.

Absolutely. You know what works for me? What? Espresso. Espresso, yeah. Just one nice, so nice. You have a couple of fucking... You have a little chill. You go, you have a little You know what I mean? That little Espresso at the end. Sleep upside down. Yeah. Thank you for joining us. A new year for all of us. I think it's important. We're going to fucking blaze the last year and then set fire to the new year. I think that's important. Where it's like everyone always says, 2024, this is my year. Be like, no. Be like, no. This is no one's year.

It's going to It's going to be a real rough year.

They have been getting progressively worse, even though the pandemic's over.

But every day. What are you talking about? We know six people with COVID right now. It's true.

It's true. You're right.

Yeah, it's rip it through. It's out there. But 2024, maybe we'll get One positive take, though, is that every day is a new opportunity to fucking fuck something up.

Hell, yeah, man.

You just choose what that is.

Or to build something up. Fucking create some shit. That's a great idea. You can fuck some shit up while you're building shit up.

That's right. That's the idea, man. Fuck other dumb shit up, make new good shit up.

That's right.

Amen.

Hell, yeah. This is going to be great.

That's going to be awesome. Yeah, let's get through this year together.

Yeah. God, we will. Australia.

Australia We got that looking great.

We're in the process of booking a shitload of dates here in America in the next few months. We will be announcing tour date soon. I'm getting healthier. I'm a fucking long COVID. It's still there. It's still fucking with me, but I'm getting better. I'm getting to where I can fucking go out and perform.

It's planning and doing it right rather than- Killing ourselves.

Yeah, rather than blindly going out, rather than blindly going out without knowing exactly what's wrong with me and trying to do it and almost dying in the process. Yes. Yeah, that was a bad idea.

But also, check out Operation Sunshine, our new comic book that is out there. Issue 3 had just come out. Yes. Please get it from your local comic store. Is it out now? It is out. Go and check it out. We love it. We put a lot of work into it. We can't wait for you to read this entire fucking thing. We had a great show with the Knitting Factory. I know that we did. It was unbelievable. I think that's it for now. Then probably towards the end of January, twitch. Tv/lpntv is going to have a full pant load of new material. We have new stuff to be developing. We're going to do a full core press. I can't wait for you guys to see what is cooking up in the LPN laboratories.

Hoop of Google games coming, babe. It's going to be fucking sweet.

A bunch of new shit. So, hail sweet Satan.

And how are you?

Hale, mayor Reims.

I don't know. I don't think we know. I love her. The jury is out.

We don't know enough about Mayor Reims and who she considers suspicious and why.

The views of the person do not reflect the views of the last podcast. I love you.

You literally say, Hale Gee.

Who cares what she did. She gave us an excellent content.

I explained that in our book. I explained it in our book. It's explained.

Which would make a great Christmas present. If you forgot to get someone a Christmas present.

Yeah, last book on the left. Still out there.

I've only seen it on a couple of discount shelves.

I think there's a fair amount of reminders out there, so go to A Books and get it on discount.

Get it. All right, bye, everybody. Bye. See you next year. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork. Com.