Hold, primate listening. It is I, Numator 479. According to our studies of your puny, mamalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake and vivacious, you give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack coffee. Reptilian in the morning, our proprietary blend of lightly roast cocaiohasks will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pain coaca with all your slippery new eggs. Thanks, Hummody. Hot, hot, I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Egs of Spring Hill Jack and Last Hot Gas on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.

On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Let me know whenever you're ready. Ready to roll. But is he?

Me?

Is Henry ready to roll? Are you ready to roll? I don't know. Am I on a plan on the way to Pittsburgh taking out Al Qaeda. Yeah, I'm ready to roll. Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Yeah, 2024. That was a lie. They think that actually that was a myth. Good way to start. I decided to commiserate with our audience because everyone's back to work this week, except for Marcus because he's, quote, quote, he has COVID, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. You're going to be here today. But I decided to commiserate with our fellow listening audience by arriving back to the first day of work for 2024 looking like shit.

Yeah, man. I'm not supposed to be here. No.

No. You got pulled in.

I got pulled in. This is technically a pajama shirt.

This is our... I look like shit. I wanted- Area 69.

I don't I love it. That's a great shirt, by the way. The Aliens, they fucking getting up in their shit. Now, are they both ladies?

This is from Wise. Let me look at this.

I think they're both ladies. There's a nipple on that. We might have to blur it.

It looks like they're both eating pussy, but either way, God bless them. God bless God bless those aliens. This is Side Story sitting here with Ed Larson. Hi. I'm Henry Zbrowski. This is from Wise. Great artist, love their work. But I think it's important. I think a lot of people, the first thing they think of, Side Story, that's podcast on the left, show business razzle-dazzle.

Yes.

That's the first thing that they think of. They're like, But they're so untunchable. How could be untunchable? Untunchable. I'm really ready to be speaking. I am so good at podcasting. I need to stop. I literally need to stop. It's 2024.

I think I'm going to sit here in silence all day. You just sit there.

You just sit there, let me struggle. But I look like shit because I want you to know I'm still just a guy.

Yeah, it's still just Henry Zabrowski. Just a guy. We all know that on other days, he looks way better than this.

I'm always walking around in this suit. Yeah, everywhere I go, I dress down for the show. Bolotai. A lot of bolos. I got Danish wooden shoes. Loafers? I do like loafers.

Well, I was just making fun of you and your wife calling you both loavers.

My wife is very active. My wife is extremely active. So active, we broke our Christmas fucking curse.

What does that mean?

It's, you know.

Oh, you're screwed.

Yeah, it was great. That's great. The neighbors actually came over to ask me how I did so well.

Oh, really?

A bunch of them came. My elderly gay neighbors.

I heard her screaming.

They came over and they were just so... They were like, Wow, wow. I was like, You know what? It must have been old Saint nick pushing me from behind.

I thought your wife was a seal.

You don't dare. You don't fucking dare. But the reason Why I wanted to bring this up is because we did have a lot of people tell me straight up they fuck on Christmas. They love fucking on Christmas. Actually, it's a day that people talk about having straight up sex on Christmas and how happy they were to express the fact that they had sex on Christmas. But I did want to warn you.

Because you said Christmas people don't have sex. I say, yes, they do.

They did. I got a resounding response from the audience, which is great.

What do you think people who don't have money for presents do?

They fuck. Sucking fuck. They better.

That's it. Those big dick guys don't need money.

Yeah, if you're poor, you better be eating pussy. But that's why I realized what's interesting is that apparently the risk of penile fractures rises up to 45% at Christmas time.

Yeah, it's because people are trying new shit, doing things they've never done before. But they're half drunk. Yeah, and they're hammered.

I feel like Christmas sex should be a lot like Thanksgiving dinner. Don't try anything you haven't done before.

Oh, yeah. Well, Thanksgiving sex, I feel like, is way different than Christmas sex. Well, Thanksgiving. Because you're so full.

It's just like...

You just roll around on each other until it's wetter than before.

I just want you all to be careful next time. Just know that people do, which is also the truth is- A lot of broken penises this Christmas? Broken penises happen- Broken promises as well. To everyone else. Especially to your family.

I'm going to break my penis off.

I was going to to the christening, but I broke my penis on Christmas Day. It's a hard excuse. Yes, it goes up 45%. They say it's a lot because it's wild sex has happened. But you know also when a penal fraction spike quite a bit. When people are cheating on it. Yes.

When they're adulterists, they're always because they're so excited and they run in there, they're trying to do something they haven't done in 20, 30 years.

They're distracted.

Yeah, and they just fucking break their pain. Then you try to explain that.

Because then you're like, Yeah, my penis is broken. That has got I'm so strong.

My hands, I didn't know.

Baby, all right, long story short, I was trying to jerk off and the fire alarm went out. I ran. Listen, the first thing I thought it was you, baby, you were so asleep, you didn't hear the fire alarm. I got up out of my seating the living room. I ran towards the living door, dick first, smashed it in there, so overcome by pain, didn't realize fire alarm had went off. It was a misfire of the system. It was the candles got too hot. The next thing you No, you're fucking divorced. Everything's over. Everybody knows everything. Your girlfriend's gone, wife's gone, kids are gone, house is gone.

How long does it take to fix a broken penis?

How long does it take to mend a broken heart? Too That's wrong. Yeah, I imagine. That's what I think. Whenever the amount is- Can you pee?

Obviously, you have to.

It's blood comes out. Yeah, it's bad, dude. That's fine. Yeah, it's like you can't just put flowers back in the vase if it falls off the table.

It's so weird that you could break a penis because when they're not I mean, you could do anything you want to him.

I don't know about that, buddy.

You could do anything you want.

I think you're being- Slap him around. Leave my flaccid penis alone. I will. Leave it. I mean, to anyone. That goes out across the board.

I'd much rather play with your flaccid penis than your hard penis, though. I'd tell you that much.

That's a really interesting question. Sidestories help, p-O-T-L@gmail. Com. Is it more or less of a homosexual activity to play with your best friend's flaccid penis versus hard? Because if it's not hard, he's not aroused.

But if you're trying to wake up the penis, then that's...

But then you're like, Why are you playing with it? If you're trying to make me hard, bro. We're trying to have fun here.

What's this?

Four to six weeks, it takes her penis fracture.

Wow, four to six weeks.

We've done a solid seven minutes before. Technically, on Penis Fractures. Before I need... I did have a more important story.

I do have to bring in. Happy New Year.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

2024, the Year of Broken Cocks.

The Year of Broken Cox. What's the German phrase We need that. All right, so, breaking SideStories news. True crime, listeners and fans across the board are aware of this already, but Gipsy Rose Blanchard, she is Cajun, has been freed from jail. She served eight of her 10 years for what I believe is a manslaughter charge in the case of the murder of Dee Dee Blanchard, her mother.

She killed her mom?

Well, she had.

I don't know anything about this, so treat me like an idiot.

That's easy.

You fuck.

You fucking moron. Eddie, why did you study hard already? Does that take you back?

Yes, I'd workbooks over the summer. I never did it. No way. I'd put the wrong answers in on purpose.

But you know what? It You know what it showed it come down to? It showed that your formal schooling meant nothing to your future. It really did.

School means nothing.

Drop out now. You could school for something. It means something. Let's say you're a pilot, doctor. Pilot, barely. You go to school. I got it. Honestly, I It's a different school. I did get an email saying that they saw a pilot drinking at... Someone in an email said that they saw a pilot drinking at a bar in the airport, and they went and reported them and got them yanked. It was crazy.

Was he in his outfit?

He went, got drunk in his civies went, got into his pilot outfit, came out, and they were like, I just watched this dude have three bloody Marys, and then they pulled him. It was great. Very scary. Very cool.

It's not… I'm proud of him.

It's not cool, but….

Fire the bartender, too, brother.

It's really easy going. Yeah, they all got to be fired. Everyone has to be fired. You know I'm a pilot, right? Yeah, that's why I poured it heavy. I say take them down. So Gipsy Rose Blanchard was a young lady that was treated as if she had a mental handicap, and she had a series of litany. I believe the term was called Munchausen by proxy, which has now been changed to facetius disorder imposed on another.

Okay.

But the idea of that, Dee Dee Blanchard, her mother, wanted to infantilize her, basically She told everyone that she was about 5 to 6 years younger than she was, lied to various humanitarian efforts that gave them aid. They got a full house from Habitats for Humanity. They got a lot of benefits from this. There was one doctor that was like, she doesn't have multiple sclerosis. Because they did say she said she had MS, that she... Mental handicap, speech handicap, that she couldn't eat unless it was through a tube. She lost all of her teeth due to all of these various procedures that she was She was diminutive. They kept her head shaved. They told people that she needed a walker. She did not need a walker. There was no evidence that she had anything wrong with her, but she was tortured for many, many years. So she killed her mom. She will. As you do. Again, she did not kill her mom, and not everyone does. I know. Not everyone does. So Gipsy became of age at some point. Even though her mom was treating her like she was a little kid, this is a real easy run down, just so Eddie understands.

They were just trying to figure out... She was acting like a child, and she was like, infantilized in a wheelchair and blah, blah, blah. But she was still a woman inside. She did not have any form of mental handicap or anything like that. The whole thing was that she was... When you're told, literally from the time you're five years old that you're sick. You're sick, you can't do these things. You have this thing, you have this thing, and you protest it. But at some point, you're being raised into this environment when you believe this is true. But at the same time, she kept isolating Gipsy more and more. She would basically get it so she would never leave the house. But what do teenagers do? Eventually, life finds a way. She figured out how to be horny on the internet. She went on the internet, she made a Facebook page, she met a guy by the name of Nicholas Godajon, who also had a series of issues. Truly did.

He traveled a bunch of miles. He went to the bathroom a lot, right? He did. Godajon.

It helps. But he was the one who killed her mother. She convinced him.

So he's the hero.

He's not the hero. He's still murder.

Well, I mean, he murdered a horrible person.

But again, it's still murder. Murder is never the answer at it.

It's not the answer, but sometimes-It's the question.

That's a different question. Yeah, but that's different. If you're a detective, murder is the question. But he stabbed her mother 17 times while she hid in the closet. She then hid for a number of days, and eventually that they were found because they were not escape artists. No. They both went to jail. Nicholas Godajon went to jail for life for stabbing Dee Dee Blanchard 17 times, and she went to jail for, I believe, 8 to 10. I imagine that hiding out in a Denny, she just takes her stomach tube and puts it in a milkshake. She's like, done, you're excellent. Straight to the tap. But now she got it all pulled out. She got it all pulled out and she's free. She's out there. She got already immediately. She got 4 million followers all over social fucking networks.

I'm like, bullshit. She's a hero. I mean, she's not a hero. She's not a hero. She's a victim for sure.

She's a victim. She is a victim as well. She was an accessory to murder. We're going to find out how this all plays. She got eight years? She got 10. She served eight.

She should have done less.

Well, I think they wanted to be real sure. Real sure.

It's not like she's got another mom who's going to yank her teeth out and put a stomach tube in her. This is her extenuating circumstance.

Well, she did make a big old announcement that she was going to go to the Chief's game to meet Taylor Swift, and state of Missouri was like, No, you're not. She is doing... Right now, we're going to see the infancy, what she's going to be like and what she's going to do from here on out. I think she looks sweet. She's changed quite a bit. She's got hair now. She looks like an adult. She's dressing like she's dressing normally. She looked like she was really old.

Everyone said that you kept saying she was a child, but she looked like an old woman.

Yeah, she just looked like the guy from the Six Flags commercials. But in real life, she was a growing teenage girl that was being made to act like a little baby.

Did they give her teeth in prison?

No. It looks like she did. They popped a row in there early on. Yeah, so she's been doing it. But she does look like she's getting there. We're going to see what happens. Basically, this is a watch and see and see how she develops. I personally think that she's going to be fine. Cameo was going hard in honor trying to get her to come to cameos.

That's the only job she can have unless she wants to be a maid of her own house.

I feel like we see a little bit of a social media, a future for her. She got married in jail during COVID by a guy named Ryan Scott Anderson. She didn't even marry Goda John? No, no, no, no. Goda John was... He was a stepping stone towards- He comes in here.

He murders her mom for her, and she won't even marry him.

It's hard to date. Dating is really difficult. It's 2024. Get with the program, dog. He seems like a nice man. He is now taking care of Gipsy Rose Blanchard. We're going to see what happens. There is a six-hour prison interview that's supposed to come out on Friday from Lifetime. I think a lot more other information is going to come out. She's talked a lot about what she learned in jail.

How many songs does she do?

God, when she goes in her Christmas medley, there is not going to be a dry eye in the goddamn house. But no, it's a fucked up story. She is both a victim and a perpetrator. It's very complex. She was played by... I was crazy that Dee Dee Blanchard was played by the absolutely smoking Patricia Arquette, but what are you going to do? Maybe it's the teeth. It's the... Man, I don't know.

I love Patricia Arquette. She's one of my favorites.

I love Patricia Arquette. Also, Joey King is great in that show. But this is because look how young she looked. She's 19 in her mug shot. She looked like a little girl. She looks normal in the mug shot. A little bit. She's got the shaped head, but she was forced to wear the little... She was forced to wear little girl outfits and wear... One day, I've talked about this with Marcus. We will probably do a series, but I do want to do it on the concept of Munchausen by proxy. Munchausen by proxy is one of the most fascinating. There has to be others. There's many of us. There's hundreds of us. There's many cases of it. It's fascinating. The idea of hurting yourself or someone else strictly for attention in that way is baffling. Then using the healthcare system. Because think about how many people fight tooth and nail to get things done in a hospital.

Well, they should study from these people because they figured it out.

Well, they do it by gaining a lot of media attention, and they do it by going all the way. She created a whole... She fabricated a character for Chipsy Rose. Now she's free, so we'll see where she goes.

When do you think she'll change What's her name?

Man, I didn't even know. I said that word so many times just now.

Yeah, well, I think this is the one time you could do it.

If it's somebody's name.

Yeah, it's someone's name. I mean, I don't know how else you would do it.

I don't know. G-word Rose.

G-word Rose. But then let's see, what's her name? It doesn't even make sense. I don't know.

I feel like this is a question that will get answered at by the internet.

Yeah.

I have this other story I want to get to.

Now, this is a- Is she in trouble? What happened?

No. That's it. She's released.

She's released, but she got in trouble for trying to go to the Chiefscape.

She basically made a big deal about how she was going to go in an attempt to meet Taylor Swift. She said she's a Swift, and the Taylor Swift's music got her through her time in prison. I just wonder if Taylor Swift's ready for the photo up with Gipsy Rose Blanchard. We'll find out. She just went. They basically said, No, you cannot go. You cannot come and do this. Because it was a big publicity deal.

Did she actually leave and get in trouble, or they just wouldn't even let her leave?

They just wouldn't even let her leave. Oh, okay. But that's good. Taylor Swift said nothing, and I find her silence to be deafening. I cannot believe she had said nothing. Also in news, did you know that Chris Chan is going to be going to meet with Bono next week?

Oh, thank God.

That's not true, but that would be incredible. Chris Chan and Bono. That's my fucking ticket, dude. 2024, Chris Chan, Bono. That's going to put some bucks at the electorate. Rock the boat.

Yeah, it'll be over at a sunglasses hunt.

That's my polling station. You don't do polling at the sunglasses? I always go to the Sundlassing. That's my polling area.

Fly from your grave.

All right. I love this story. Okay. I'm going to see if I can pull this off.

Let me see. Tell me about it.

Because there's twists and turns. A lot of people want to get in the horse business.

I did.

I sell horse pics. We've talked about this. I've been selling various horse pics.

My grandfather owned various horses. Yeah? Yeah, we lost a He spent the family fortune. He spent all the money on racehorses right before he died.

He seems to be doing it very well for your family. I noticed you're in a horse. Yeah. You're a horse tycoon.

I grew up at the track.

That was because your father had a gambling addiction. Yeah.

Well, Dan, my grandfather had a bunch of horses.

But that seems to be a wheel. That seems to also be an issue. They were connected.

He had 10 racehorses. One of them won one race. His name was Day.

That's not good.

D-a-y. That's weird. That's a shitty name for a horse.

It is. Did you turn him into dog food?

I don't know how they killed them. They're not around anymore. They're certainly not around.

But you didn't sell them?

I don't know. I was a child.

They just let him die?

I used to have fun because I could go hang out in the stables and shit. Yeah, that's awesome. I full reign of the horse track. It was pretty cool. They let me make bets and shit as a kid because they knew my granddad was there.

What's the statute of limitations on that?

Poplar is probably closed.

I imagine this point as a man, especially if they're with these discount horse owners. Don't worry. I got these horses on sale.

I did it for this officer.

Hey, of course, we all do. Now, some people, though, they don't just want to be in the horse business. They want to be in horse show business.

Nice.

It is difficult, It's not as easy as you think. You don't just get a bunch of horses together.

Yeah, we saw Nope was tough. They were having a hard time. The aliens kept stealing them. Absolutely.

A bunch of horses in a field. Guess what, man? They're not rehearsing. They don't give a fuck. You need people who are going to run them horses. It's very, very difficult. Talented people at that. It's not just money, it's also time and effort. Some people want to stick their head into this horse show business and think that they know how to make good moves, and you'd be fucking dead wrong because what ends up in you being arrested for attempting murder of your husband. No. No, I love it. I just love this sentence. Disgraced and failed horse show producer sent to prison for a million dollar offer to have wealthy and estranged husband murdered by hitman, which is the most generous amount of money we have heard offered to an FBI agent to be a hitman in the history of this show. How much? $1 million.

She wasn't going to pay.

Well, it was a lie. She had it all. Shut up. She showed up with guns. She showed up with the cash advance.

You don't bring guns to the hitman's got guns.

She had wasted- That's the whole thing. It depends on your arrangement. She specifically went and got guns that had no serial numbers, and then she had set it all up. She's beautiful, but she is deadly. Her name is Tatiana Remley. 43 years fun. She pled guilty last week to one count each of solicitation to commit murder and possessing a loaded and concealed firearms not registered to her. She's going straight to jail. She didn't go to trial, right?

Hopefully, she's in prison longer than Gipsy Rose. This is a much worse crime, in my opinion. It's not, though.

It's actually, she'll probably go to jail for less time.

Less time? Yeah.

Why? Because the murder didn't happen. Because the murder didn't happen. That's all right. Because the guy came in, too. Because guess what she did? She asked Mark Remley's fucking buddy, her husband, that she tried to murder. She asked Mark's buddy to do it first, who called the FBI. And so literally- He didn't call Mark? No. Well, he called Mark, and then they called the FBI. But then that buddy basically said, Hey, listen, the... And so the FBI came in. And Mark's buddy did the thing to Tatiana where he said, Hey, listen, I'm in over my head. I'm not a professional hitman. I play pickleball with your husband. But I know a guy. And so he sent the guy. Tatiana goes, meets with this FBI agent, does what they always do, give up the ghost. Because guess what? How many times will I have to say it? It is never a hitman. It is always a police officer.

Yeah. Never not. You have to find a hitman. The cops got that locked down.

You got to do it yourself. I'm sorry. Unfortunately, that's how it works, okay? If you want something done, you have to do it yourself. You just got to go kill your husband and try to cover it up. And guess what? You're not going to do right. Because if you're half as good of a murderer as you are a horse show producer, then you are not going to pull it off.

Yeah, what was the horse show?

Okay, so this is where it started. I just love this whole fucking story. So this woman, she marries this man in 2011. They had gotten to know each She's a model, beautiful, tall, and she married just a normal millionaire guy. They hang out with this millionaire.

She's got good face structure. She does.

She's beautiful. One day, apparently, according to Mark Remley, her now ex-husband, said, he was like, she woke up one day and she said, Honey, I've had a dream my whole life, and I've never gotten to tell anybody, but I want to tell you right now, I want to run a horse show. This is real. Mark was like, What? She's like, Horses, acrobats together. She's Russian.

She's Russian. Russians love dancing around on animals.

She love all of that shit. A mark of hers, I imagine first. We were like, Honey, this is in Mexico. These guys can't start fucking. We can't be having these horses fuck all these acrobats in front of everybody. We could do it at home. She's like, No, riding and jumping. She went and she was like, She had this dream out of nowhere where she decided she wanted to single-handedly take down Cavalia, which is the horse and human-themed ballet from Cirque de Soleil. I don't know what Cirque de Soleil did to get this woman's ire. I don't know why she decided, Fuck this. I guess because she was a sometimes player at the local Polo Club, where she would go and go on the horse, hit the thing with the stick. It's apparently a very difficult sport.

Polo needs to end.

Yeah, so you have to enslave an animal in order to do it.

It's not a sport.

I feel like the same thing about F1. Let those cars be free. Let Let the cars just run. They keep saying, Oh, the cars will do this anyway.

So this is her husband?

No, that's Eric Marktonovich. Now, what you're seeing here is, to get her dream, so what did he do? He was like, Baby, you know what? If you want your horse dreams to come true, I'm your fucking Santa Claus. I'm going to make this happen for you. So they went and hired that guy, Eric Marktonovich, who was the... He is a horseman. He is from Kavalia. They sniped him. They took him from cirque de Soleil. Wow. They said, We're going to pay you 100 grand. We're also going to give you 20% ownership of this entire horse-led experience. He was like, That's fucking my language. Loving horse. Super excited. We're good together. Much of horse noise. Yeah.

That's good.

They came up with the name, but they said it was close to the Roman word for I believe, or it was, I forget what the word was for. They said, What do we do? We're going to name it Vallata. This is the show we're going to create. This is according to Tatiana. She said to a television reporter, It's like Cirque de Soleil with horses, but it's own type of show. Now, there's a lot of people going to be like, Well, Cavalia, the Cirque de Soleil show with horses has been around for 25 years. She don't want to hear any of that.

Where is that show? It's in Vegas. Okay.

I think it travels. I think, have you It's great. It's jumping on horses, jumping off of horses. The horses jump. They jump off of the... The horses jump off the acrobats. The horses, they take a bath. All the horses and the acrobats take a big bath.

That's so sweet.

They go on a horse roller coaster where the horses go in a little thing. Great show. Four horses die a night. Yeah. Great show. I actually don't know, but I do think it does a lot of people running around, right? But according to Eric Marktonovich, as soon as he met these people, he was like, These guys have no fucking clue what they're doing. The word was. His terms were, They weren't horse people, and they weren't show people. What am I going to do with these guys? They hemorrhage millions of dollars buying a giant tent, buying all these horses, getting all the horse people to show up. Getting a horse.

You're going to buy the land to put the tent on.

But guess who's getting more and more- Popcorn for the people. Guess who's getting jealous? Watching all these trained actors and performers with these trained horses to all this trained-out stuff. They're completely untrained. Tatiana Remley was looking at this being like, Where the fuck am I in this? All right? She's in charge. She said that, but she wanted more. She wanted to be the lead. She started going out, and they would do these horse runs.

I wish they'd do that with Jerry Jones. Strap him up, put him in the... You do it. The cowboy's.

Yeah, you get in there. She said, The way they did one pre-show... Long story short, it does go up. The show actually goes up for five shows in San Diego.

She's the lead.

They say the way they put it was at a hole of horse dancing, horse jumping, pyrotechnics. They said that was the worst part was that. They said the thing that made their show different than everybody else is that they had fire.

I know horses don't normally like fire.

That's why you got to blind them. That's to make sure they stay in the pocket. They said all this stuff would happen. The audience would go, and then they'd be like, and then this blonde lady would come out the horse at the very end, do a full circle, do a figure eight, and the whole audience is waiting for it, and then she'd go into the center of all the performers and bow. The audience just go like, Everyone's like, Flipping off the horses and having a good time. People like, I think they're classier than that. Oh, you're talking about flipping off of the horses, not just giving them the middle finger. Yes. No, they're trying.

The The audience is like, Fuck you.

Fuck this.

I thought I came here for a dog show.

Fuck. I hate these. Where's the chickens?

Ain't one donkey in the whole goddamn show.

So me to tell me, don't these guys have a fuck on these acrobats? I They were like, We talked about this. It's got to be in the pamphlet. This is not your traditional horse show. No one's blowing a horse tonight. And so this whole thing goes, not only does it go south, but it goes south because of everything that they did. They have a bunch of money. They lost everything. They then started, horses were dying. They just cut out everybody. They stopped paying all their bills. They just canceled the show over an email. Don't tell anybody. They then stiff every single vendor, all the people running them. They made two $22,000 custom-made VIP bars that they were supposed to go to in this venue where they just left them out to rot. They didn't pay for them. Now they're getting sued from every angle. This is in 2012. So cut to 2023, where now she's trying to kill the last dude. The guy that tried to make your horse dream.

That's very fucked up.

That's what I think is. He went and said, All right, Tatiana.

Anything you need, You want to be a horse, Lord.

I'll help you.

He could have said, Nay. He could have, but he said, Ye.

He said, Aye. But it's fucked, man. Everybody's made because the guy Because they fired the guy last minute. The guy that was in this picture, they fired him last minute because literally Tatiana was like, Why am I not more in the center of this? He's like, Because you have no training, and it's extremely dangerous, actually, for you to be in the center of all of this. She was like, No, you're fired. They got somebody else in there just hemorrhaging money. Then when they needed $1,500 to heal a horse, to fix a horse that got hurt. The guy was like, Fuck it. No, absolutely not. They had to go take the horse and be fucking euthanized or whatever. $1,500? Yes.

They wouldn't fix a horse for that much? They're buying a whole goddamn $2,000 bar?

It is just one of my... I just love this story because there's not a much to it, but just the idea of you wake up one day and you're like, I want to be in charge.

The craziest thing.

A horse-led circus, which is a type of confidence I just don't have.

Yeah.

I guess we do it like this.

I mean, she got anything she wanted her entire life, it seems like.

She did marry once before for money, and then she did She got out of that, made a lot of money, and did this. But she's going to be going to jail, so we'll find out. We'll see how she does in there. She might become a better conwoman while she's in jail.

Oh, of course. That's great, though. I'm real happy. She's dry. That is true dry.

She's more American than most.

No school for her either, probably. No.

Oh, none. She would not go to school.

Did the guy be able... Did he get his Cavali job back? That's what I'm worried about.

Oh, no. He had already been in and out of Kavalia, and then he was just like, Fuck him. He's just fucking... He's fine. I hope so. Yeah, he's like, he is a horse Lord. Yeah, he is very good with horses.

Where are they now? Working on Yellowstone?

You know, maybe, hopefully, they weren't working on that luck show.

Oh, man, they killed a lot of horses.

A lot of horses died on that show.

Dustin Hoffman's got a lot of horse blood on his hands.

They just kept shooting that show. They stopped in the middle of the season.

In the middle of the season, six horses, I believe, died when they were making that. I was excited because that was David Milch, who I love, the Deadwood.

Anyone ever asked Dustin Hoffman straight up. You killing these horses?

No, he barely showed up. I kill no horses.

Did you just do a Dustin Hoffman impression? Wapner. Wapner, four o'clock. That's my Rain Man impression. It's also very bad. All right. Next story.

What's going on here? What's next?

Now, this is a little bit of mystery.

All right.

Because we look a bit of mystery. We look it. I'm ready to perform. I don't care what anybody says.

You are, man.

This is going to be the best I'm going to be all year.

I'm very excited for whatever the story is. I'm not sloppy. No, you look great.

I'm not sloppy today.

I don't think. You were actually firing on all cylinders. I'm barely awake.

Good. No, because you're fighting from a corner. Now, this story we covered a little bit inside stories before, but it has since popped up with a vengeance. Now, there is an area, and I believe I'm saying this correct, which is the The Skuchel County River, which is right outside of Philly.

Sounds disgusting.

It is.

They have a horrible way with words around there.

Just don't eat any clams from there. That's what I would say. Philly.

They just don't know how to talk yours and Yinz.

Yinz is a very... I love Jinn's. I got into the Jinn's because, again, my wife is a beautiful Pittsburgh strong woman.

She's a wonderful person. It doesn't make any sense.

That's their identity.

They could have it.

I don't want nothing to do They must have it. They must have it. It is their birthday.

Did you see the mayor of Easttown? Yeah, but that's how you know he's...

I wouldn't trust it. Look at John Federman. It's Shrek. You have a senator who is Shrek. That's incredible. That's what I love. I love that about Pennsylvania.

They passed the law for making sure that he had to wear a suit, but they can't pass the law for anything else.

It's called Congress. That's my political commentary. We covered a little bit in this area of the country, there have been a little bit last year of people finding conspiratorial notes hidden inside of cereal boxes. There's a bingo It's a controversy because it's inside sealed boxes, and it's not inside of the bags. We know that it's somewhere within this factory process, some guy, I assume a man.

It's not in the bag of cereal.

No, but it's in the box that contains the bag and the box is- It could only be a certain amount of people. But it's hard to pin that down because you have to prove it. A lot of these notes, they're a little bit intense. Here's an example, one that just says, Chaos/riots, terror, R, lied to secret, societies, JFK, Lincoln, warned of secret service, assigned symbol, word says, Unless SS, it's tied to Saturn, Lord of the Rings, Audi Rings, MBC, NRA, Bird. It's this long That's one of them? If you just see the way it looks, it looks like this. They've been now calling the Scoo kill notes. There's a whole subreddit on them. The people have been obsessed with the story. But since around Christmas time, this year, well, last year, they have been blowing up. They are people finding them on trees, pinned to things on hikes, all in this Pennsylvania area, the Eastern Pennsylvania area. It's fucked up to the trees. I mean, it's not actually. It's just a little, look at that.

What I'm just saying, you put paper on a tree, it's like, that's upsetting.

You ever have a chicken- That could have been his cousin. You ever have a chicken in an omelet? That's my favorite. Yeah. That's called the life cycle meal.

You really put chicken in an omelet? Yeah. I do a chicken sausage. I would never put chicken breasts.

I put full on chicken breasts in an omelet if it's there.

What are you, trying to become a bodybuilder?

No, man. Well, yeah, I'm trying to get my protein up. You know what we're supposed to get? I believe it's our weight plus 50.

Your cholesterol is a mess. You're eating all these eggs?

No, I eat a lot of eggs. My My cholesterol is nowhere near as bad as your fucking cholesterol.

I got the Sebastian. I'm doing great.

No, my cholesterol is actually fine. My triglycerides were big because that was during, but mostly that was really after quarantine because you guys, my family got me a smoker. You got me on the butcher box. Yeah, we We're not going to eat nothing but red meat.

We're not going to eat nothing but red meat. We're not going to eat nothing but red meat all the time. We had so much meat in our freezer.

We were being like, Life's going to be over soon. All of a sudden, I'm just like, yeah. I literally would get a pound of chicken wings. I would smoke them and eat them.

I mean, well, that's okay.

It wasn't.

No, smoking's bad, Yes, because it gets all the stuff in there.

Then it was a lot. It's a lot of fat. It's still animal. Get me off. I'm like, I'm proud of you. But now it's popped back up. It's just crazy because no one knows what the living fuck is going on, and it's hit the news. Now it's really starting to... It used to just be on the internet and live as this weird conspiracy theory, but now one of these stations, I believe it is the- But it's nonsense. It is gobbledygook, yes. It is like when you do a video, you're like, You don't know what's going on. But old people, it freaks them out. Once you get old people flicked out, they're calling the news station because they're the last people who do that. You have this guy where he was the ABC news affiliate in Pennsylvania. There was a WBR, W-Y-O-U, is like, spiriting this, being like, We're going to figure out who the fuck is doing this. And so far, nothing. We're going to see what comes out. But I like it. There was a thing that is, I want to say it's cross country, but the thing called the Toynbee Tiles. Have you ever heard of the Toynbee Tiles?

No. The Toynbee Tiles are another example of someone... It's way more of a... I view this as more of an art.

It is art. Yeah, no. In a way. It's very banksy.

But it freaks people out. It's like, Toynbee idea in movie 2001, Resurrect Dead on Planet Jupiter. This idea of people saying, These Toyme Tiles are these little things that have been showing up in various areas. I guess I say two dozen major cities in the United States, and they are like outsidery art, mosaic style. A bunch of smashed up tiles may dispel various messaging. Some of it makes sense, some of it doesn't. A lot of it refers to the movie 2001 and the concept that the dead will be resurrected in the planet Jupiter.

I mean, that does look cool, though, at least.

All he knows is it just sounds like an album track from the Andre 3000.

I like this more than I like the cereal box guy. Well, that's scary. This takes talent.

This is very cool. But yeah, it definitely... They all read... Man, that flute album, I love that, dude. It's That's a great flute album. That Andre 2000. You still into it? The Andre 2000. You still into it? Oh, yeah, bro. Fuck you. I love that flute. That's a good stuff. No, man. It's tripio as all. Fuck, dude. But this is exactly what he's talking about. I think Andre 2000 was on this Toynbee fucking shit, and he understood what was going on, and that somehow got onto the flutes.

I mean, why not put zombies on Jupiter?

He makes crazy noises with the flute.

Yes.

They're all like little noises.

I was sitting there.

I got into it yesterday. I smoked the bowl. I had my health walk. I was like, get up. I do my health walk. Me with the other senior citizens that I see on health walks in the morning, and I walk around, I'm like, you're swinging the arms, getting them going, good and stone. I got to hear things in, sitting there thinking about the future. I'm thinking about my plans. Stacks on stacks on stacks on, stacks on, stacks, racks on racks. Then I'm listening to that flute album, and I know the thing's going to be all right.

Yeah, the flute album, but you're where you need to be.

I want to be where Andre 2000 was when he made that flute album.

I mean, he was doing nothing for years.

I know, but then I love that first The first track is like, I really wanted to make a rap album. Did you see that? Oh, yeah. The first track is super long. It's great.

He's the best.

All right, one more story.

One more story? We got time for more. Wait, what? Is there no conclusion to the cereal box?

No, they're just on the trip.

They're just putting them in the other... Tied them to trees? Yeah.

They're just out there.

It's a mystery. They're going to get caught soon.

It's just like, dude, you're being weird. Unless it's multiple people.

I would hope so. They're into it.

Then, again, I feel like it's about how far can these things Where can they travel to? How often are people going to talk about it? There are a lot of people. I mean, again, you're- It's not like kill people in the message.

They're not like...

But it's not kill people. But the problem is with all of these conspiratory edges is that when it gets really serious, it's not directly going to kill people, but it could drive somebody who wouldn't normally into a state where they believe that they are a... The way I picture it is that you can missionize somebody. You can basically have them see something. Let's say they're already teetering, and they've already been reading a bunch of weird shit. Then something like this pops up into their cereal box. They can literally be like, Oh, this is a sign. Now I got to go to the Water burger.

This is what you were trying to do with Bear Stearn's Bravo.

I wasn't trying to do it. That was Jake Bacula, the creator of Bear Stearn's Bravo.

You were very much a part of it.

I was, but He's going to bearsteernsbravo. Com. But that was not about... No, because that was all about the mortgage crisis, and there was no conspiracy theory in that. That was literally just trying to get... It was called an ARG.

It was a thing that people used to do for fun. It is upsetting if they called Secret Society's ZSS. Ss belongs to someone already.

I think that it does mean the SS from the Nazis. I think that it does mean... Because it's IMF, NASA, BMW, NSBA. Every acronym is in there. Musk, Locals. You see this here?

I got hit up by A guy over there wants us to come hang out. David.

It's a janitor? No, I think he- Are we just going to go and watch you got shit?

Even if it is a janitor, I'm down.

I hope it's not just like- But we should go look at some rockets. Noodles and ass, sucking Association. We show we think it's NASA. When we go, we're like, No, actually, this is where we eat a bunch of noodles and we fucking- Noodles and ass, sucking Association. We fuck ass. Like, what? You thought this was NASA? Hold on.

Before you sit down, let me put down some spaghetti. Yeah, if you would.

Yeah, good. Thank Because our other bowls have emptied. Whoa. Honestly, we'd love to come to NASA. Yeah, let's go to NASA. Never a fucking straight answer. I'll smoke you out. I'll fucking smoke you out. But at the very end of each one of these conspiracy theories, miss us, we It says, Watch Dark City. Then our number one enemy is our domestic. This is the problem.

It's the director of Dark City trying to sell DVDs. That would be incredible. He's sitting on a bunch of DVDs, and he wants to fucking get rid of them.

Let me see who that is. I would love to find out who that because maybe it is that person. It very much could be. I'm going to blame them. It has to be them.

That movie, no one thought about Dark City until you said it just now.

I don't think it has to be them, but I think that it could very well be. I think that we should think long hard about that. It was directed by Alex Proias, and I wanted to see where he is. He's still alive. Okay, good. He's still alive. The last movie he made was Gods of Egypt in 2016. It was nominated for several razzies.

The Gods of Egypt, that was the Moses movie.

Yes, he was the several razzies, and he is Yeah, he did I, Robot as well. He directed The Crow? And he also did Knowing- He killed Brandon? The Crow was very good. He did not kill Brandon.

He was the director.

No, his father's curse killed Brandon.

Tell that to Alec Baldwin.

Well, Alec Baldwin has been trying to blame it on the curse for a long time. He keeps bringing it up, and it's not biting. Nobody's taking it. But that's what I'm saying. It's more so that's why. It's just the scare of a mysterious note inside of a place where there shouldn't be a next area. Nicolas Cage is in his next movie. No, this is in 2009. This is all fake. Yeah, he wasn't knowing. Nicolas's cage is knowing, which was not a good film. Oh, okay.

I didn't even know it existed. I love movies, too. It's not a good film.

But that's why it's bad. It's just because you never know who you're engaging with when you enter into the subject matter.

It's got to be this guy. I don't know if anyone's knocking on his door, but we got to look up Alex.

Can we get him for a Patreon interview?

Oh, I Robot. Horrible film. Really bad. Right from your grave.

All right, we got one more. Let me give you another one of these stories. This is another a follow-up to what we dealt with last year. We dealt with one of these stories. Chess is across the world. It's a high-stakes sport.

People love chess.

People take chess very seriously.

My best friend growing up was a chess master, and I used to go to his chess meet sometimes, and then I would fuck with the people he's playing against.

That's really angering. Yeah. He would do that because some of us were in the chess club.

I would just go next to him and just be like,.

I respected chess.

Yeah, I respect chess, too. I was trying to get my boy to win.

Yeah, but that's called not respecting the game because guess what? If you respected the game- Get in his head. If you respected the game, you know that the game would determine who wins and who loses.

Man, come on.

It's called kibitzing. Kibitzing? That's who we used to call it. That was when a guy used to come over and deal with you. Or say stuff about you playing or make comments about you playing. Bad move. Yeah, everyone gets mad. I wouldn't do that. But people take it really seriously. So last year, we covered this guy.

You know bishops fuck kids, right?

Yeah, you're like, Sir? Sir? Yes, it's the act of watching a game in progress and comment is going to thank you. Yes, it is kibitzing. That's what it is. This guy last year, this big grandmaster, he got into this huge controversy because they believed that he had figured out a cheat at a very high level using internet-connected anal beads. What they do, this is real.

Okay.

What they believe that they can do- Was he playing with his ass? Yes, technically. But using his hands. But the ass is making the shots. Okay. He, apparently, you can do a thing with some of these where you can clench. Clench him, right? Send signals to somebody on a computer watching you clench in a Morse code. Like a Morse code. You clench in a pattern.

That's what the gamblers do. The guy's reading the dealer's hand and shit like that.

This is with the. Yeah, this is with the same. This is with the same. This is with the same. They would do that, and then the person would analyze back to you. They would go and then have it buzz a certain amount of times, and then you make the move.

This guy- Why didn't that guy just play chess?

Because it takes a village. It takes a village because he's not the moves. Why did he play? I don't know. He's not the grandester.

Why did they need this guy to go in there? Because he's better with his ass.

But now this new guy, the name of Yon Like, Shang-Long, this is in China. He won this, apparently this big old prize. It was like $14,000 in American money. They had a huge party. They said, the Chinese government came forward and said that they don't think he was cheating, but there was some stuff that he went to this cover up or not because he was a big deal player. He shot the bathtub of the hotel that he was in that night after partying all night. And they found a digital set of anal beads inside of the shit that he shot inside of He shit in the bathtub. He did. He says, The reason why I sat in the bathtub was that due to my unfortunate overindulgence the evening before, I was in a bit of a rush to alleviate my bowels. In that panic, I chose the bathtub.

The tub's right next to the toilet.

But this is what they're trying to do. It is also very interesting.

Also, if you know you got shit up your ass and you're shitting in the tub, go get the shit. This guy? The other shit. I I'm using the word shit too much. The electronic buzzer.

I do believe that the man was lying. I do believe that he was cheating. But look, the US, the Chinese government came in- I don't find this to be cheating, by the way. It is cheating because you're having somebody else help you figure out moving something else.

If you jam something in your ass and you're able to count the beats and still move a chess piece, that's on the board.

You sound like a certain one-balled bicycletilist that was a national liar. Oh, I know.

He's a winner.

He isn't anymore because we changed winning for him because he is stupid lying in one nutded way. And Oprah knew. Oprah fucking knew. But according to the Chinese government, they are covering for him as well. This is a quote from the CXA. Based on our understanding of the situation, it is currently impossible to prove that Yon engaged in cheating via anal beads. Yon consumed alcohol with others in his room the night of the 17th, and then he defecated the bathtub of the room he was staying in in the 18th. In an act that damaged hotel property, violated public order and good morals, had a negative impact on the competition, and the event of Zang Kui, which I believe is how you pronounce Chinese word for chess, and was of extremely bad character, but that doesn't mean he cheated.

Yeah, if he shit out a Rook, that'd be one thing.

Honestly, if he did shit out a Rook, then I feel like we need to look at a lot of stuff.

I just hope they start checking the assholes of all the chess players. Let's go.

Before you see. Let's go. Let's see. Got a rip cord. But also, it's a part of where it's like, oh, God.

Okay, before we start the match, please pull down your pants.

Well, that's why I actually wanted to come clean, Eddie. Because even though you're here with me. Is someone sending you jokes? Someone has been sending me jokes this whole time. I'm holding a butt plug. For those of you who can't see, I'm holding a butt plug. This is my bet.

Oh, that's great. It's got your face on it. Yes, somewhere. Someone sent you that.

Carrot top has been revealed because he's been sending me a material for the last 10 years.

This is my favorite dreadle.

You can't see it. It's just a butt plug. It's got my face on. But it was a funny bit, and I fought for it.

Yeah, this bit? Yeah, you did because I wanted to do the dreadle bit, which I still was able to do.

But then I did mine.

So? Gimel.

Really great, great fucking episode. Let's get some listener emails.

Oh, my God.

I got to get the hell out of here. Are dreadles?

They would be great butt plugs. Yeah. I think there's someone has to make those.

They're lost inside of you. You think so? There's definitely dreadle butt plugs. There has to be, right? Yeah, of course.

Not kosher.

I actually don't know if that is true. I don't know. Is Poopoo not kosher?

Poopoo's not kosher. But you are allowed to wipe your ass. Dreadle butt plugs. Let's see them.

Immediately.

Oh, no. I bought that. That's not a Draelal butt plug. I bought that for my nephew. I totally bought that for my nephew.

We got to cut it out of the episode.

I thought a butt plug.

I got that on CVS.

I don't know.

Looking like a fucking butt plug. It's $3. How old's your nephew? Tell me he's 35.

There aren't enough dredo butt plugs, so please-Sidestories, lpotl@gmail.

Com.

I need one.

All right, here we go. We got a lot of these. I got a really interesting email about... So one that really fucked me up was a... It's just more of a paraphrase. We've been talking a little bit about the fact that it's come out quite a bit that people with colosomy bags-No one's used this, right? Oh, only in my mouth.

Okay.

No, that's my favorite place because I shit talk all day.

Just blowing butt plugs.

It's just something that's just, I'm training up. Yeah. The story of people talk to my thing It's rough, but we've had several stories coming about people reporting from ERs, people suffering from people having sexually transmitted diseases, SCDs, inside of colostomy bag holes. The one statement that came by, what I've heard that was Earth-shattering, was a young man in prison was found to have gonorrhia inside of his colostomy bag hole. That someone has to fuck it. Someone was having sex with it.

He knew that he was doing belly flops on a bunch of cum.

Even that's bad. The doctor was like, How did this happen? Why did you do this? He's like, I don't know how to put this. I'm young, barely handsome in prison. I got three holes. I need to make them work.

Whoa.

That's just fucking the circle of life.

So he got gonorrhia in his stomach. Yeah, it was bad. That's a bad story. Did he have it in his ass? No. Good for him.

He saved it for the... He's like, All right, at least put it in here. This is what I can get to. Hold on.

That penis is disgusting.

It's sticking in my stomach. Put it in this way. Put it in the worst hole. This is what I call the worst hole. Also, I got several emails about people talking about prison-style surgeries where a guy goes, and I guess this is real, where they cut open the very bottom of their penis and they smooth out pieces of domino into various shapes and stick them up in the skin underneath their penis in order for it to be more pleasurable. For whom? I don't know.

For him.

I don't think it is built for him. Strong enough for a woman, definitely made for a man. It is not good.

It's bad for you. That's the thing about prison, man. It's so much time.

You just got nothing but thoughts.

Yeah.

I say that's why you write your book. It's your time. You sit there, you write your book. Can you write your book? Mm-hmm. Here's a My Struggle.

My Struggle.

Just take that and run with it. Now, we brought up last week, right before we left, about 9/11 parties. You like it?

You just go from topic to topic so fast. It's so funny. This is the show. I'm still thinking about fucking-We don't have time left. We don't have time left.

This is living with the audience that has to sit and think of this. It's how the burden is theirs. They have to go. It's yours.

It's ours.

We can't ruminate forever.

I'm with you, people. We got to hit these people.

We got to hit you up with it. Now you think about the domino pieces inside the beans.

If you got herpes in your claustomy bag, fucking good for you.

Hey, man, you were cool. You were cool last year. That's what that shows. Now, we brought this up. It's 9/11 parties.

Yeah. I haven't been invited to one.

It's not as popular in Solalcal as it will be eventually. This guy said here, I heard Henry talk about 9/11 parties, and I had to write in to know that they already exist. For some context. I looked down the road from this guy who has turned his property into a MAGA like Hellscape, right? American flags, Trump 2024 flags. These guys love merch. We know they love it. He's had multiple sports cars on display, one that has a full custom Trump '24 wrap. How many fucking guys have- It's a lot of stuff.

It's a lot of merch. Overdrawn their bank account on a Trump flag.

A lot of For us. Honestly, it's great because that means that it can't buy weaponry. All right, buy the merch. To top it off, he has a giant statue of liberty in the yard holding an AR 17 or whatever, AR 47, right? Which is great. She's blind. That's why, how you know. You gave me a fucking gun? Yeah, man. That's how you know you got your spread cover. This last September, I noticed there were flyers all around town for a two-day 9/11 party, boasting food, live music, camel rides, and a bar with a respectful moment of silence at midnight. Now, I almost thought it was a joke until I saw the address and I realized it was my neighbor.

It goes from the 10th to the 11th.

Yeah, all night. Okay. My buddy, he went- The moment of silence should be like 9:00 AM, whenever the fucking- Not. At midnight. He said that his friend actually just went because he wanted to experience. He wanted to see what the fuck was happening.

I'm curious.

He said five people were there.

I wouldn't pay admission.

No, don't pay a cover. But he said five people were there. Then he just hung out with the guy, and the guy was like, Yeah, just chilling up. You know what burger or whatever? Just totally just full militia gear, 9/11 poster in the back.

Cooler of beers. Was the camel there?

Yeah. That's funny.

That's It is funny. Yeah, but he didn't do well. I mean, I don't.

Sparsely attended. As it caught on. But it will eventually.

I don't know. There's no D-Day parties. Or like a Pearl Harbor, rather.

Well, because we won that war. I feel like there's a moment of feeling. There's a feeling of graffiti in that. We know all these stories. We all love saving Private Ryan. No one liked the nick Cage 9/11. No. If we had a couple of good ones of those, it'd be different because I feel like we'd be a little bit more culturally inspired by the story. But a lot of people are still just reeling for the fact because then we went into a 20-year-9/11 was so crazy. We went into a 20-year, quote, unquote, Forever War. It's been complicated. I feel like the 9/11 party is actually a good part of it. It's one of the aspects of the complicated issue of 9/11, which is some people are going to be super evil about it and some people are not. Everybody feels the same way about D-D.

If you don't have two towers fall, what's the point of the party?

Well, then, again, you just are not a good event planner. Yeah. Because then why are we here?

I can't believe you got camels.

Who knows? It might have just been a tan horse.

Where did he get all the money for this?

You'd be surprised.

What does these people do for a living?

Roofing. Hvac. You get them out there. You got them- You can't trust those HVAC guys for nothing. Don't you dare speak against our HVAC people. Don't you dare.

We need them. I worked in enough kitchens to know that these guys, they fucking sit on the roof for four hours. I will not let them do that to you, sir. The bell's ruined.

I know when I need you, you must arrive.

Yes.

Hvac people must be there.

Yeah.

You do damn a line, HVAC people. I already got a lot of pushback from my anti-polo stance.

Your anti-polo stance?

Yes. I came hard against people who wear wicking material.

You're telling me that people play Polo? Listen to this show.

No, Polo shirts.

Oh, well, those are horrible.

But some people are listeners. So I do understand that you need your wicking shirt.

Just have the courage to get buttons all the way down your shirt.

Just open up all the buttons of the polo. That's all I ask. Show some body.

Yeah, put it in the... What do you see You got buttons. It's really a pointless... How big is your head that you need these buttons to get your shirt on?

I actually do need to unbutton all the polos in order to wear it. I have a polo. I do have a polo.

You do? Yeah. Throw mine in the fucking trash.

He's allowed. I'm trying to create peace here. It's 2024. We can't start the day. I'm very peaceful. You already have attacked you. You attacked HVAC people.

I haven't attacked HVAC people.

They attacked me.

I tried to run a restaurant.

You called Gipsy Rose Blanchard a hero. They get up on the roof. I can't I need them to fucking work. They sit there, they go up there, they fucking play with each other. Extremely crucial members of society. They know it, too. We have to laud our HVAC people. Even if the poll of people I'm just saying, if you're going to be wearing a Wicking shirt, be doing an activity that requires the Wicking. You know what I mean? Be golfing. If you're just wearing Wicking and you're sitting in the mall- Is that the name of that? It's a material.

Oh, yes.

I'm just saying if you would know what it is. That requires sweat to be Wicked.

You know why I hate it so much, truthfully? I had to wear them at Catholic school.

That is why you- Cut to trauma. Uncovering 2024. It's Catholic school. We're flipping stones here. All right? And that's what Side Story is good for.

Am I allowed to say bad things about Catholic?

Of course. Yeah, fuck the Catholic.

Hell, yeah. Go fuck yourself.

No, they know. They're already fucked anyway. We all know. So next week we'll be back. Operating SunShines, everything's still in the stores. We got a lot of shit coming down the pipe. We have a lot of announcements we're going to make. I want you to make sure you check out all of our shows.

I'll put this fucking on your pipe. I'll tell you that much.

Hey, man, you let me do it. That's for me and my family. Go check out twitch. Tv/lpntv. We have a lot of stuff coming. I believe when this is released, I'm going to be in tears of a clown at 6:30.

I got brighter sided at five o'clock Pacific.

That's 8:00 PM.

Yeah.

Great on twitch. Tv/lpntv. If you want, go to Patreon. If you give... I forget what the amount is, but you can literally go. You can watch us do our last stream on the left live every Tuesday night 6:00 PM PST.

But also that's where the podcast video goes.

The full podcast goes there. Everything. All the last podcast full video is going there. You see the clips online?

The people love the clips.

On the Patreon.

The full things on the Patreon.

It's really nice, and it goes all for a fucking crew.

I feel like butt bugs would make great pens.

If you want, I honestly feel like- I like having it thick like this. Just think about this. Give it to me. Can you imagine? Click. Click. Now it's a pen.

Click, click.

Now you fucking stick in my ass.

Yeah, that's the thing. What are we doing there?

We can develop it. Why are you saying all these ideas into microphones? You shouldn't say these ideas because then- Copyright. We got to hold it close to the vent. Because that's our industry now. You could ride with it. You could fuck your friend with it. R in a circle. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I'm going to be Phoenix.

Oh, good. Yeah, good.

You're going to do that? January 12th and 13th. Is that the material? I'll be open to Jeff Ross to stand up live. Come check us out.

All right, go check it out. And we will see you this Friday. Bye, fuckers. He'll stay in. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork. Com.