How are you? I'm successful. You are, you're everywhere. How do I get to be everywhere? I guess I just have really good energy and tell people how you really feel about this.

OK, well, I think I think I'm ticking those boxes. I mean, I think about. Welcome to literally with me, Rob Lowe, my guest today is one of my newfound favorite people and the planet, one of the fun things about doing the podcast is sometimes you meet somebody new and you just fall in love.

And I'm just gonna come out and say I'm in love with Tiffany.

The last time we talked that something that I didn't realize has caused me to, by the way. Yeah, Jesus. I'm not sure. Well, I'm glad do with Hispanics because they had Dracul asked on TV and stuff because he was drinking and whatnot. So I figured I don't do that to white guys. So he must be Hispanic. Right. So you don't make somebody mad. I don't know who you pissed off, but you pick somebody up.

Yeah. And then we had that conversation. I was like, oh, thank you. What was he hears?

I'm glad you brought this up. I want to. I want to. I want to do a deeper dive into this. Right.

Because my so when my big fear was that you thought it was John Stamos like that was keeping me up at night and who is also not Hispanic is he's apparently Greek. I know that from the Greek yogurt commercials.

So you were just all right. So then I think she was blue eyed Mexican. That's what I thought she was brown. Dude, there's a lot of it from Mexico City. I've done bar mitzvahs for them, can I tell you have just given me a I wasn't going to write a third book, but you've given me a title. Blue eyed Mexican is definitely going to be the title of my I'm writing a third book now.

That's what I thought. So it wasn't based on somebody else who thought I was like Freddie Prinze Jr. or somebody.

Hell no. I know you, Rob Lowe. I know who Rob Lowe is. See, I didn't time I went out drinking and all this and partying. You're making this up now.

You're I'm not making this up. I brought this review to tape.

You have Googled me since we spoke. That's that's happened.

No, I have not. No, I have not. But you used to have a Robert Downey Jr., right?

We were in in high school together. And then we had run up and down Sunset Strip. Right.

And I thought I thought he was Mexican. Wait, wait. This is unbelievable.

This high school. No, Santa Monica High School, but you're right. Anybody forget the same? No, no, you're right. You know what? You are right. That is true.

I used to get. But I guess. OK, but wait a second.

Are you insinuating in our sensitive cultural times that only blue eyed Mexicans get fucked up?

No, that is not what I'm insinuating. I'm in. Seems OK that the media will expose any type of minority that is a pocket that is popular, then it's doing some sort of drugs or alcohol or whatever.

And I'm not capable or what they consider to be a risk for their income or their empire that they're building. And they will drag your ass and wanted to get rid of you. Well, then how am I the only idiot white person that got dragged? What?

I don't know. I think you fucked somebody's bitch.

I don't know. You fuck the wrong one, bro.

Thank you for that. I mean it. But saying you got the cut that you've got to come back. See, Todd Bridges didn't get a combat. No, he did not. Todd Bridges, I love that that that was the reference you went for just now. Boy, I like it. It's securer and genius. And I but I ran with my bridges, too.

I know that's what they've got in a whole click. Todd Bridges told me, no, he did not. Yes.

Office lost because I was lost. And I think it was Brian Way. He was kicking and smoking some weed. He told me about all this shit.

I never made it to Slosson the Slosson flophouse with Todd Bridges, but I would have liked it.

But it wasn't a flophouse, which was like sitting outside this like business, a little like taco truck situation. And we was just talking shit, smoking weed like it was a group of us. And I had to be like twenty five, twenty six years old. And he was talking about all the people that he ran with who, whose careers got basically smashed because of all the shit job was doing, and then all of us able to make a comeback.

But he couldn't make no comeback and he he was trying to figure out how to make a comeback. But because he black, that's why he can make that comeback. That's what he was saying.

Interesting's he said, but this is what he kept saying. This is why I think that's why this is part of why I think he was I kept saying, Rob Lowe, that Mexican he got a total free pass. No, he said, but the Mexicans and minorities that look white get to get passed. They get passed because they can pass. So when I talk to you point, it was like as a white man, I'm like you, why can't I think of me when I thought, like Robert Downey Jr.

is like white and something else? Right. But it's still like pretty much white. But I thought he was. Well, the minute you put the minute you put Junior on your name, you're likely not white, I think.

Yeah. You're likely to be Hispanic or something like you trying to create some your family trying to create some kind of legacy.

Yeah. Yeah. So so that's what I assumed. And that's and that's my dad. And I want to apologize. Oh, there's no need to take your power away from you and put you in another kind of box. I want to apologize. Thank you.

Thank you. I mean, I am the look. I'm the whitest whitey white person that like I'm from Ohio. And, you know, my dad was my grandpa was the Rotary. And I was just in Dayton, Ohio. And that's where I'm from.

That's where I'm from. Like, why are you not the whitest white white. I mean, the funkadelic came from there, right? That's folk music. Ohio players. Ohio players. Excuse me, Ohio players. My banjo love roller-coaster.

Come on, let's go of life. But that's where folk music came from is Dayton. Oh yeah. Yeah right. That's one of bands of all time. Came from Dayton, Ohio. The Wright brothers limpia to travel on airplanes, came from Ohio. So I'm not like you. I know shit. I'm not the body midget theater. OK, I'm about to go ahead and just buy a major theater in Ohio. Let's go. You want to go in on a whim?

I do this now. I made my my I made my theatrical bones in Dayton, Ohio today to go back to the midget theater.

Right. And Dayton, Dayton was poppin with, you know, that kind of energy big time now. And I was dilapidated because you left. Yeah, meet me and me and industry and just got everybody, you know, who's still there, my dad is still there at 80 years old, practicing law.

Chuck Lowe, if you need a divorce, he's your guy, OK? He's been through enough of them.

He is an expert, but he practices what he preaches.

Does he have any partners that work on land? Because I want to buy land there. Well, you know who has land there in Yellow Springs? Yeah, Dave. Yeah, Dave's I mean, and I used to go get my ice creams in Yellow Springs and and go hiking at the Little Glen there. And I'm trying to get Dave on the show because I love him. He makes me he's just the greatest. And I just want to do a deep dive with Ohio trivia with him.

What you're going to have to go there. You know, he doesn't like doing Zoom's and all that stuff. He's not any of that. You're going to have to go to Yellow Springs and actually interview him like and I think the last show that they're having is next weekend. So that's when you're going to have to go.

I would do it in a minute. I mean, Yellow Springs is gorgeous. What's why is everybody going to Ohio again or I mean, I get it. I love Ohio. I totally understand it. But what why is that in the ether, do you think?

I think it's in the ether because of a few things. It's kind of safe. They're safer than most places. It's got a lot of history. There's very rich soil. So you can grow a lot of food and a lot of things can be grown and distributed. Distributed. That's the word. Yes, that's it.

And I feel like it's a very beautiful place. I have never been there in the winter, so I don't know. I don't know about that wintertime life. I feel like from what I see, that is probably not that pleasant in the winter. But I feel like the people are so creative and kind and open and like beautiful that it would be OK to be there in the winter because the people are pretty awesome. I love Yellow Springs personally. Get Dave took me on a full blown tour of the show me all this farmland, all the buildings he owns.

He's basically he basically owns that town. That's amazing. It's a few buildings that he doesn't own there. I feel like he's going to end up buying those too. And it's really like, you know, it's hipster and like makes this a very liberal place. Now, outside of Yellow Springs, there are some very conservative I see truck signs everywhere. I'm not hating on that because the land is beautiful and the people aren't. They haven't been rueter mean to me.

I've been like, get your black ass out of here. And I'm like that. Like, I'm walking down the street. They're like, hello? And I'm like, and it's all good. And, you know, when I went to Dayton, ah, some people never found like, oh, that one building that used to be the Chevrolet dealership. I want to get that one. But then one of my friends said that his friend owns it, but he doesn't know what to do with it.

And I'm like, turn it around. It's going to be the dopiest rollerskating. It used to be a car dealership where they brought the cars in like they didn't even have cars outside. Everything was inside the building. Even the auto parts. Yes, because the winters believe you don't even you sell a car in the winter outside. No, no.

But roller skating was such a thing when I moved to to California was a Wednesday night roller skating. OK, you know what else? Like, you know, on La Cienega Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.

It was called Flippers Flipper's. And Wednesday nights was the night and you would see everybody. I remember it was always like Dyan Cannon in her height.

She would like I mean, bustin out of her like this is like, oh, and Cher, Dyan Cannon, Cher, who else would be there? And I'd be all fifteen years old, staggering around on my roller skates.

We should bring those. You and I should bring that back.

Well you know, world on wheels right. On Venice. And is that in Center City. Yeah, it's opened back up but it's not open right now but it's beautiful. They redid the whole thing and the floor like glows and there's a bar there which I'm like, that's dumb as hell because I've been intoxicated on wheels before and it's just as bad as driving, if not worse and worse. It's worse. Like where you where you eat shit is where you go over backwards and try to put your hand down and you're just done.

Man, I got drunk one time, rollerskate, OK. And I thought I was going to get drunk. I have one drink and I was running over so many children and I had so many bruises on my ass and my legs broke three fingernails. OK, and I on the other fifteen minutes. So I would suggest that they don't have if if they're going to let the bar continue to be open because I went there because I was like some hip hop night, like I saw L.L. Cool J.

Grandmas playing like Audie's. Brad Pitt. Yeah, it was super cool, it was super cool, and I had to press the colonel, I was taking it back to the old school, you know, because I'm hopeful who so cool. And we did it quick, was there and there was drinks at this bar, but there was a full arcade. They had like a restaurant set up. And the lockers for you're like shoes and stuff for your roller skates.

And it was super cool. It was just beautiful. That's good.

What what what are the kind of weird stuff are you into? I would never have picked you as a roller skater.

I would pictures a lot of cool shit. I'm a surfer now. I'm talking I'm a surfer. I like to consider myself a black you. How did you get into surfing men smart. I love men and women are doing. I'm trying to do it too. I like that as long as they do me in the press.

Yeah, baby, you're like out in the lineup. I'm looking over. It's going to be. No, honestly, honestly, I went to Hawaii and Mama and it's a client. We thought we were going to go pick up guys. It turns out it's is like a honeymoon place. And there was some cute guys at the bar and they're like, hey, we're going surfing like a surfer. And I was like, yeah, I got surfing.

And so the locals were like, showing me how to surf. I was like twenty one. And then so I got the basic stuff it there. And then I came back to L.A. and I started working at this youth center and at the youth center we started a surfing program and I thought this would be a great way for me to get a husband. So we started and we had. Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.

It's gone. Wait, I got to stop you right there. It's gone from hooking up to a husband. Yeah, that's a huge jump in what you're looking for.

Yeah, because by the time that I was twenty three, so I'm looking for a husband at that point, like, you know, OK, so we started a surfing program and and we got like HBO and I think it was Warner Brothers, a bunch of studios to be mentors that were into surfing and like different surfer, you know, cliques and groups and started to mentor. And we got surfboards and wetsuits and stuff for the kids and so and instructors.

And yes, I met you guys. So what's the what's the. And I did something good for the kids. It no, it's a great and surfing.

I grew up in Malibu when I moved from Dayton and I only learned how to surf in my forties because when I moved to Malibu, if you were a 12 year old kid, they wouldn't let you be out there learning they'd beat the living shit out of you. Surfers in those days were really gnarly, and so it took me years to learn how to surf. But I.

I love it. What's the biggest wave you think you've surfed or are you just more like chill?

Probably like a more chill. I mean, yeah, I've definitely been in a tube before Norway where I've been in a tube before and in Hawaii went on my back. But I love. Oh no, no. I'm like Huntington Beach. Yeah, it's a beach. You can drink and surf too. You can try to do anything. You know, you can't you cannot drink and roller skate, but you can drink and surf and get in Huntington Beach because we were like drinking and that's when I was dating.

That white guy now is super cool.

I was going to say, you're not meeting any brothers out there surfing. No. Yes, but I did, though. He was like number two in the world. His name was Carlos. Shit. I dated two black teens named Carlos. I can't remember. But anyway, the surfer havens from Minnesota and he was a surfer. Wait until you find a black guy in Minnesota from a surfer who is a surfer because his mom married a white lawyer who would take them on trips all around the world.

And so he learned how to surf and he became like number two in the country. He was so handsome and he has too much debt, too much debt, too much debt. You can't I don't even know I love too much, too much, too much. And it was quite it was too much. And he was a. I'm like, decide what you know, you want this brown sugar or you want the white shit. What do you want?

Because I'm not going to be walking around here with Michael Jordan all day and sleep with everybody.

No, no. I think that's a good plan. I mean, I can't really relate, but I know you can't. But I mean, but I like I like the planning behind it. I like the project.

Do guys get thought bonuses? Like if you don't like the coochie type stuff, like does your penis ever get thought mine was iron plated during the 80s.

So, you know, no plated with it too much like it was like the SS Merrimack in the Civil War. It was like the. So it's too much sex, didn't like make you saw. Yeah, I mean, I just wanted to I want to guys, because, like, I just rough sex are just too much sex. It makes me sore. And I wonder if that's a problem for me. But I talk to the women. Every woman experiences this.

But I wonder, do guys get four penises?

Look, everything hurts and every bring her. And as you get and listen as you get older. Everything hurts, not just your dick, and it's like your your your you want to put a pillow on your knees now. This was my 20s. This was my 20s. And it was just too big. And it tilted tilted my uterus. I got into the doctor. Like your uterus is tilted. Mean. I was like I thought so because it hurts like that then.

But now I have to work on getting my line of my uterus and stuff because it was too big and it was tilting. I think that might be the best, the best sort of sex talk. You're tilting my uterus. I think that would really work.

You knock in my uterus out of alignment with all that dick you got. I got to go to a uterus chiropractor FIRREA.

Hold that thought. We'll be right back. Hello there, I'm Rory Scovel, I'm a comedian, I'm an actor, but most importantly, I'm a dad. And I'll tell you what, as a father, it is my sworn duty to tell you about my new show with Team Coco called Dads, the podcast.

On each episode, me and my co-host, Ruthie Wyatt, are joined by a hilarious guest to talk about the mysteries of fatherhood and parenting, people like David Cross, Conan O'Brien, Sabrina Gelis and Roy Wood Jr..

Even if you're not a dad or a parent, I think you're really going to like this show. So please check us out. Find Dads the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss it. Hey, everybody, Conan O'Brien here to let you know about Team Koko's virtual comedy show hosted by my good friend, the very funny comedian Moses Storm, Moses Storeman, Friends Dreams. Every other Thursday on Team Koko's YouTube Twitch and Facebook pages, past guests have been Chris Read, Joakim Booster, Rachel Bloom, bestselling Kal Penn, Run Frenches, Angela Johnson and so many more.

It's really a fantastic comedy show, Jampacked, featuring some of my favorite people, and I'd like you to check it out. If you get a chance. Follow Team Coco live on Instagram for the latest show dates and guest lineups. How did you get into Sirte? We mentioned Gidget, how do you even know Gidget what Gidget is first? How the hell? I was born in 1979 and I was born to a mother who was very nostalgic and my grandmother, too, very nostalgic and like they would buy lots of VHS tapes of all their favorite shows, everything that they loved.

And we didn't have cable. And when when we had regular TV, the TV was always fuzzy. You know, it's always cloudy because the signal's not good and we have really bad antennas. So you plug the VCR up and you watch all the videotapes that your mother and grandmother have purchased. So I'm watching Red Skeleton. I'm watching Charlie Chaplin, I'm watching Gidgee. I'm watching my three things. I'm watching you. No way. Leave It to Beaver.

The The Brady Bunch. We're watching all these shows. And I'm like, where? The black TV shows right there. So then my mom got I think it was cloudy and she got some good times stuff because we were because we kept asking, like, where do people that look like us? And that's and this is the part that was so crazy as I was watching all this stuff. And I used to think that all white people lived in TV or like in Hollywood.

Right. I lived in Hollywood even though I lived in South Central L.A. and that's not far from Hollywood. But we didn't go on the other side of Wilshire often. So and any time I saw somebody, why I thought they were like from chips, like I saw the police at the time, I thought they were from chips. We had a few white teachers at my school. I thought they worked for PBS. You know what I'm saying?

This is the great you should I want to do a TV show idea with you where it is. It's real life. But when the white people leave, whenever a certain area they go and live in a TV set, that's what I thought.

I thought a lot was like and so we moved to permanent when we moved to Pomona was like eight, seven and we moved to permanent and it was so many white kids, but Hispanic kids to summer school with the Hispanic kids. And it was only like four black kids. And I was trying to be friends with the black kids and they were trying to get away because you're too black males, too black. And then I had this one white friend, Amber.

She was the only one that was nice to me only that was that was cool. Her dad was totally a redneck, totally didn't want me in the house. And then one day she said, Daddy, I wanted to be my friend. So she's got to be my friend. And he was like, all right, whatever you want, but you got to play outside because I couldn't come in the house, but I played she had a dog like a big old dog house that you can walk into in a backyard like a play.

So we played in there. We play with our dogs and stuff. And I remember my stepdad, sister in law came to visit us and she was she was definitely white and she was married to my black uncle, step uncle. And she brought me a black Barbie doll. And I was furious. I know the serious with her. What I think I'm opposed to picture because I just came across a picture of it. My sister gave me the pictures like, do you remember this day?

I said, Oh my God, I was crying through the door on the ground.

I thought she was trying to make fun of me and try to be mean to me because she asked me before she came, What did you want? What do you want?

I said, I want to Malibu Barbie. I really want to Malibu party as she came. That's not a man with a Barbie. No, she had a blast.

And I was like I thought that I was so ungrateful, so disrespectful. I threw it on the ground. I thought, why would you do that as well? Malibu party.

Like, I was something I got I got the worst whipping of my life because my mom was like, you can't be doing that to you can't be disrespected. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This lady brought you a gift. I was like, I don't want it if I say I'm ugly.

And then it was this whole conversation about how you know, that everyone's beautiful. And just because you're brown doesn't mean you're ugly as I get.

But the brown Barbies never on the commercial side think it's always the right but the beautiful.

When I look at it, it's true, particularly in those days they were there's there's no people of color in any of those shows.

So much so that like I grew up in in Dayton in a place called Oakwood, it's very Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, white. And then I moved into the inner city and then all of a sudden I was sort of all kinds of people with color. And the only time I'd ever seen people of color was on Sesame Street. So I thought the people of color only live on Sesame Street, like with fucking Big Bird and shit.

I was like, I had this. So you thought the white people lived in TV? I thought the people of color lived in TV.

I'm telling you, this is a television show. So people live inside their televisions.

Right, right. Because I'm telling you and I'm so jealous of kids today because they have access to so much information, like we had encyclopedias broke and we have to just believe what that said. And you have to be smart enough to read the encyclopedia. I could you can read everything was visual for me. Everything was, you know, audio visual, like whatever happens on TV, what you tell me, that's what I know. Like, I was that and we were we talked about this.

I'm sorry to interrupt you, because it's really fascinating, though, when you your lack of ability to read early on, you feel was had nothing to do with education, lack of education, role models, any of that cultural socioeconomic stuff. It was purely based that you have some that you like. My son had a visual processing disorder or something.

Right. I believe and I was told that I was stupid. Like like it's your words is so important when you talk to children because their children are like usually way more intelligent than you are like, but still naive and ignorant in so many ways. So what I learned was stupid means stupid means you are not capable, you are not smart enough or intelligent enough to accomplish something. Right. So when I'm learning how to read an improvement in, you know, six, seven years old, I could spell three letter words easy if I saw something.

McDonald's boom. I know what that is like by the shape of the word. I know what it is. But tell me to write it. Tell me to write out a word that has more than three letters. Can't do it. Tell me to write if can't do it f because that's what makes sense to me. Right. So my step dad with time I'm stupid. My mom would tell me I'm stupid. Grandma with everybody, the teachers, everybody, the students, everybody tell me I'm stupid.

And so I believed that I was not capable of learning because when I heard stupid, it's mostly when it came to reading stuff. So I believed I was. Done, I believed it. Stupid, I'm not capable, and then I had a drama teacher who noticed that I couldn't read at this point I'm like 14, you know, she realized I couldn't read. She made me come to her class every day and read to her. And then I was able to read.

And then I lost my dad like a slowly diminished my ability of memory. But I'm working on it because I had a power like anything someone said, I can memorize it. I would like manipulate people into reading to reading things for me or to me, and I would memorize it and I could like make it work. But I knew all my alphabet. I know letters, I know the shapes of them and stuff is just was hard for me to put that shit together when it was in a sentence or a paragraph.

I have I have it with numbers. I was I'm horrible, horrible with with numbers. And I honestly, even at this stage of my life, I have to remind myself that, like, no, no, you're not you're not incapable of quote unquote business and all of those things you like, you just numbers don't work for you. The way letters didn't work for you, Michael. Just how to work. What do we do to identify kids like you and me like and and and help help them because we didn't want them?

Like, you're one of the least stupid people I've ever had on the show.

I could talk to you for a thousand hours about not just because of your personality. You're hilarious and stuff, but your knowledge is really, really interesting to me.

Well, I got super thirsty for knowledge once I learned how to read and comprehend. And I think the way to identify those kids is really just to pay attention to children. Like, I feel like people don't pay attention to them. They just look at them, but they don't really pay attention or communicate with them. And especially now that we got these cell phones and kids can kind of like just date for information themselves. They don't even have to ask you why.

They can ask Google why. And then they're getting information that may not even be correct. They don't even know how to use discernment, you know, so there they can be misinformed. It miseducated in just being able to we should talk to our kids more like my drama teacher. She would talk to me every day. She would ask me questions about, well, what did you eat for dinner last night? How are you doing? What's going on with you?

She would communicate with me to the point where she could tell when I was uncomfortable with something. She could tell that like every time it was time for us to read a paragraph or do a thing. And I didn't have if I didn't have that scene beforehand to get somebody to read it to me so I could know it like it would, I would become so my body language, everything, I would get an attitude. I would be like, I got to go to the bathroom.

Like, I see. It's like coming up to me. And I was like, get the fuck out of here. It's like if I had the sights already or whatever, I would find somebody while I'm on my way to the bathroom. I'll go to the dean's office and like I would talk to Dean into reading. I mean, like I was super mastermind manipulator, but I thought I was stupid. And that's a lot turned 18 and I was working at the airlines and it's girls like it took me, you stupid.

I was like, call me stupid again and see what happens. I'm speechless that this damn ticket can't call me stupid again. She was like I was just saying it was funny. And then it hit me. Like all these years people been trying to tell me I'm funny how black people, they thought black people tell each other like, fuck if you think. I will not be blocking myself thinking I'm not smart enough to learn these things.

But I'm a chief. Yeah, you what? One hundred percent. I'm just realizing that at 40 that I'm watching because of all the things that when you sit back and look at all the things I've done like that, even the world doesn't know about some of the things I've done in my life, the way that I was able to pull that off. The greatest hoax ever that I feel like I'm a hoax. I don't know. I mean, have you ever, ever gotten in a situation where you had to be on some award show or somewhere and read a teleprompter?

Yeah, I'm yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. And I just start making shit up.

Amazing. Just make it. Yeah, or I just stumble, I stumble through the words and I go, Hey guys, I'm off to L.A. Unified School District. I can't read that. Great, I just tell the truth. Just tell. Yeah. L.A. Unified School District is is not it's not an a factory of academia, I can tell you.

No, that's for sure.

I mean, what I teach you how to be an employee and how to kind of pass through. It's like, oh, 100 percent pass by. Don't be excellent.

That's what I think the problem with one hundred percent American education, when I was at Santa Monica High School, Salmo, or as you like to call it, the Mexican high school. That was when I was growing up.

Yes, but that's yeah. No, I had seen my problem was I had the audacity to get really good grades and have a job. And when I went to them and said, look, I have the ability to go to a movie with Francis Ford Coppola, I'm in my senior year. I've already been accepted to college.

They were like, well, then you're not graduating. And I never did graduate from Santa Monica High School. Never did that because I wasn't. They just want to move you and move you out. You know, it's either you get to college and God bless you or you go work at 7-Eleven and that's it. And you fit a mold and move on. Of course, now they you know, I'm in the Hall of Fame and they want me to do a bunch of shit for them.

But they never I never graduated. Never. I have no high school education. I tried to take the GED to have it because they wouldn't they wouldn't do it like crazy.

So messed up. And it just reiterates my point about like it's about creating employees and the body. They need the bodies. They're right. And I get a check for every single student that's there for how many days you show up and if you're not physically at that school, but you're still a student and you've accomplished all these things that they won't give you your high school diploma because you're not physically there, because they don't get that check that I've never known that they give every single student that they are.

So it's like it's they don't care if you're learning. It's not about if you're educated. It's about do you show up on time or is your body here, which teaches you how to be a fucked up employee. And that's why America, I think, is in the situation it's in because we don't really value education like they say. They value education, but really they value your body being there. Now, if it was look, everyone has to have this type of of an IQ in order to graduate.

Right. And in order for this school to get paid, everyone has to be and they have to be visionaries if they demand that every single person has a vision which creates entrepreneurial shit. Right. And because that's what America is supposed to be about, the American dream, being able to create any kind of job, any kind of thing that you want. Right. So if they demanded that you come up with a vision for a business and if they demanded that you have a certain IQ level in order to graduate, then we would have smarter Americans and you would have better employees and we would have a stronger industry here and we probably wouldn't treat each other.

So shit. Where did you get what I said?

Where did you get your drive and work ethic from?

Watching my grandmother work and my grandma always felt like nobody's going to put food on your table without you having to compromise your body. You know, my grandmother, my grandmother didn't tell me that that's interesting experience, I look different.

I mean, she had five kids for baby daddies. She had to figure it out. She had to figure it out. Right. And her whole thing was like, earn your own money. Don't depend on no man to put anything in your bank account or anything like you can want that. But just know you're going to be opening your legs. You're going to be giving up every time you have sex. That's a piece of your soul giving up your vagina.

It's like a house. You don't want everybody in your house. You don't want to tear it down. You want to have value has meaning. Once they put that, when you get married, a man is buying your home. He's buying your houses, but he takes your name off, he puts his name on. Now you're his property. And just because you're his property doesn't mean he's going to take good care of you. Doesn't mean he's going to provide for you.

Doesn't mean he's going to be good to your children. Doesn't mean you don't know you have to be strong enough to provide. Doesn't mean he's going to live it. You could be at a disadvantage at any time. So be prepared and should kick my ass at the house that made me really fall. She's still alive. I spend thousands and thousands of dollars every month. She has Alzheimer's now and dementia or dementia. They just think about them saying to me, and she's deteriorating slowly but surely she's not walking when she sees me now she lights up, she hears my voice.

She like that, you know, I know she loves me. She always tells me I'm a pretty girl. But she just recently seen me with my haircut and she's like, yeah, most pretty man girl.

Oh, you know what?

I love my my my my dad's mother had had the same thing. And my dad tells a story about going to visit her and having the most wonderful lunch. And they laughed and they cried and they just bonded in ways. He said he hadn't spoken to his mom like that in years and years and years. You got up to leave, she said. I just need to tell you, you're such a wonderful person and you remind me so much of my son, but he's so much younger than you are.

Oh, how about them apples? Right.

Heavy and crazy, right?

Yeah, but my grandmother thinks that my brother is her first boyfriend. And she keeps chasing him, when are we going back to the river? The river, and she keeps winking at them, when are we going back to the river? Oh, don't you just want to come on to the river? Yeah, and I'm like, what happened at the river, Grandma? Yeah. None of your business. Who's grandma? And if she keeps grabbing my brother's but he's like, this is getting inappropriate.

Is like screaming at like. It's too good that I'm trying to change a diaper. It's the kids flirting with them every time a man comes around, she flirts with the man now and I'm like, Oh, that's where I get it from.

And we'll be right back after this. Hey, I'm Christine, and I'm Caroline, and we're back with brand new episodes of Unladylike, the show that finds out what happens when women break the rules. This season, we're breaking the rules around sexting, Botox, even twerking, where you bounce and you are working it out.

You are twerking, shaking, wiggling, wobbling, Peter Pan and hustlin. You are working it out, girlfriend. And it's so ladylike.

And we're kicking off the season with one of our unladylike Hall of Fame heroes, Samantha Bee, and really monologuing here today.

This is OK. No, it's awesome. OK, I had did have a chocolate covered pretzels before I got to this. Oh my God. Why super. Why not?

Stay tuned, y'all. We're dropping new episodes every Tuesday. Don't miss a single one. Subscribe to Unladylike Institue Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

You're a big movie star now, have you learned any any acting tricks to upstage people yet? No, no. What would you like to know? Some. Would you like me to teach you some? Fuck, yeah. I've only been working on acting tricks to memorize lines because I've lost my ability to memorize things because I can read now. Well, you got to learn.

Listen, this dog eat dog world, you think it's tough in the streets of L.A. you're now in the streets of Rodeo Drive and you you got to get it. You come on.

You got to see what Nicolas Cage in three weeks can have all the fucking way. What I can do. You're fucked. You're going up against the master of scene stealing.

Really, I hope. And I'm dead serious here. I hope you are availing yourself to the amazing oeuvre of Mr. Nicolas Cage. Teach me, my man, because I knew him when his name was Nick Coppola. And and yeah, he because he's Francis Ford Coppola, his nephew. Rechanged. Yeah.

And he changed his name to Nicolas Cage because, you know, he wanted to make it on his own and all that stuff. And so I've known Nick a long time. And he was he in that crew.

Just what the heck with you guys? In fact, that was it.

He was in the crew with Johnny Depp. Carie Elway's and Charlie Sheen, and they all have matching. Stingray, they're called the stingrays, and they had a matching tattoos of a stingray in a bathtub. Don't ask me why. By the way, I wasn't invited. I was not in the stingray's on the stingrays have I think the stingrays disbanded around 1989, but yes, absolutely.

And and if you actually look at interviews of wait a minute, you were in The Princess Bride, it's all coming full circle. This is fantastic.

So you were in The Princess Bride, a zoom benefit this week. You played Buttercup Caraways of Stingray.

Nicolas Cage fame was the original. What was the original prince? Yes, it was.

So yeah. So he's in the stingray's with Nick Cage.

And and when you work with Nick Cage, you must ask him about it, about this thing with stingrays tattoo and watch him because he's a master of of scene stealing. He's he just he's the best whoever ever was. But here's the thing. Here's the one thing I might give you. So when they're. When they're like, let's say you're doing a driving scene, OK, and the camp, there's a camera on each window right there, shooting your profiles, raking two shot like my faces is in on this level.

And just slightly forward will be the other the driver. He'll be slightly more, but they'll be in the same thing, right? Mm hmm. So when it's when it's when they're talking, get something out of the glove compartment. You. Thank you. Thank you. Because guess what they have to do then. Look at me. They have to cut to your side. They have to cut to the other side. And it's you. And there's all kinds of people who do that, that kind of great stuff.

But I think it would be great if you tried to pull every one of those trick runes on Čunek.

It'd be, you know, I probably do that naturally anyways. Because you to you just you just know how to do that stuff. Well, I don't know how to do that stuff, but just like I think in a way it's like, oh, this person's talking. How would I respond to that? What do you do when it's like, I'm the best I'm the worst, best listener?

Like I'm listening to you. But at the same time, I'm going to be moving, if you like.

You just say, like the professor said, I'll turn my head and like, try to get you to profile, like, you know. Yes. I'm like, if you tell me, like, you got to. Yeah, I was telling you how you got to use both hands. You like what if I do with one hand and I'm like, I'm showing you like I'm showing you both. It's like I can't help but in a conversation to physically respond to what you're saying and I just can't be still.

But that's also how I learn. Like you should see me in a lecture sometimes given a lecture and I'm like, I'm Digna, I'm leaning forward. Then I'm like leaning back. And I do something like this.

Like when I say something that blows my mind, I'm like, oh, like they're going to see me to the directors ever say, Hey Tiffany.

So that takes good little active, maybe just a little bit less. Just, just a little baby. Mustn't ever give you that. Always just be still.

Just be still. Just use your eyes and be like OK, it's all right. I'm just using my eyes.

I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

I really like those Bugs Bunny eyes being but being still is actually the single hardest thing to do as an actor.

These were singing well, it's the most boring, hardest thing. I need the action. When we started saying I like even if there's like there's especially when we did Madam C.J. Walker. Right. There's hairbrushes and hot combs everywhere. And it's a start and they're like, OK, just just stand there. And I'm like, OK. Brush your hair slowly, just be still. It's like almost impossible, I think, about when I was in junior high and the lady from that played the maid on The Brady Bunch, she could must be Davis, Allen Davis.

Allen Davis came to one of the earliest closeted lesbian characters in television history, I'm convinced.

Yes. Oh, for sure. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Come on. She came to a junior high school and she talked to us and she told us how she was a mannequin in a window for years. For 20 years, she was a live mannequin. And then she couldn't blink. And I was like, that's impossible. You can't that's the only black girl in the class yelling at this white woman. That's impossible. You have to blink unless you're not human.

And then I leaned over to the black.

If the class touches white people like cotillions because I was trying to get him to fall in love with me, that's the only reason I even got in drama, because I thought if he's black and drama and black and drama, they're going to make us kiss. It's going to be great. And he's going to love me. Never worked out that way, but she showed us how she did it. She was just like posing. And our hands like my hands, the moves and stuff like my heartbeat.

She's like, you have to control your heartbeat. You have to focus on one thing and just. Breathe very new and B. Davis, I didn't know she had the depth. She was a model, a window mannequin. How does the weight how does the star of The Brady Bunch end up in your drama?

That's pretty impressive. I like loving that.

I was going to help middle school and Woodland Hills and my teacher, her name was Miss Young, and she used to I guess she's OK.

I don't know for sure. But she says she used to be a part of like these acting groups or whatever, and they do the community place. I actually think she was a part of a lesbian group.

Hence the NBA, Davis.

Exactly hands at issue was always so open minded, I used to be like, where is the segregation and the racism when you need it? Put me out here to stay together. Let us kick. But she always wants interracial relationships. Kind of. Or she screwed you over. She in the way of your master plan. Yes.

This bitch. The only thing worse than systematic racism is when it comes and goes and it fucks you out of when you thought you figured out a way to game the system.

Yeah, I figured out how to use the systematic racism. Yes. In a case, he's going to fall in love with me.

I'll be pregnant by tenth grade and know this bitch. Never interracial relationships. Now he's dating white girls and Spanish girls. Fuck.

Do you ever see people from from that era of your life? You ever get into, like, that guy or anything? But like, how do you like me now? Yes.

Oh, my God. Look, I used to send out Candy Grams from the time we were in eighth grade or eighth grade all the way till we were seniors in high school. I sent some candy every other week, every holiday, you know, the little candy bars with the notes on it. And I would tell them that, you know, I really like you a lot. I would love you if you would spend more time with me in like he would let me copy of homework and like, well, you know, we would crack jokes.

My favorite thing was to hear his laugh. He had the best laugh in the whole wide world. I wrote about him in my book and then he he went off to play for the Redskins. It's still their name. I don't know, the Washington Football Club now.

Oh, the way he went to play for the Washington Football Club. But back then it was the Redskins and he became like a great real estate guy, just commercial real estate. He has like five kids. And I knew I knew he was going to be a great has been a great guy. I knew when we were kids, I knew it. I knew it. And I was trying to like a man. Right. Could not like a man.

Could not make like he even lost his virginity to a girl named Tiffany.

I was so mad.

I was I was mad because I'm like, I'm the Tiffany is about the limit and cut to twenty one. He saw me. He's like, wow, Tiffany, you've really blossomed. You look amazing. I was like, yeah. And I got a boyfriend now and then just recently, like two years ago, I do a show at the at the Nokia. I sell out the shows over seven thousand seats, sell out the show packs and it was like a high school reunion.

Everybody that I went to school with came and he came and he was backstage with his wife is his wife is the first one to talk to me. She was like, I love you. I love everything you said in the book. And yes, you are right. His teeth right out. Those aren't even his teeth anymore. You ruined his teeth. And I was like, yes.

And then he's like, Tiffany. He looked exactly the same, except his teeth were bigger and wider. And he look, he's so beautiful and I still like my heart still like kind of melted a little bit like and then he's like, man, I'm just so proud of you. Tiffany, like everything you said you were going to do when we were kids, you did it. And I was like, yep, except for you. But it's OK.

I've got bigger and better things. And like, he gave me the best hug is the best. Like he's always give me the best hugs when we were kids. That's why I love them so much, because I was going through a lot, I was going through a lot. And so and he would give me a hug every time you saw me. So I thought that he was in love with me and that I should be in love with him and that we would have the most beautiful baby Super Bowl.

What a good story, I love. I love that you knew he was there in the audience, right? Did you know he was coming?

I did not. I knew. No way. Somebody told me he might come and tell me that for years. How do you tell him he's going to come like he never showed up. So they were saying he might be there. He might be there. And I'm like, oh, man, if he said I would be crazy. And I kept checking with my staff to see if he, like, checked in. Did he get his ticket?

Because I'm sure I put his tickets to the site like special tickets for and they're like, no, no, no.

And then when we get backstage, I get backstage where everybody is. There he is. But his wife is the one who gives me the big like, greets me first to let me know like this is my man. That's what I think. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

But I was the trip and I don't want him no more like I don't want to know more. I'm doing bigger, better things. But he really helped my heart.

He have my heart when when I went before covid and we all used to do meet and greets. I'm assuming you did those right. But yeah, when people come and say hi, say what's the craziest thing anyone's ever said to you? Because I've had crazy stuff said to me in the meet and greets crazy.

A lot of crazy things. OK, so one person asked if they could have somebody asked if they could have my underwear that I was wearing right then. There you go. Bingo. I said no because I'm not wearing any and I'm like, oh they're like that. But another person told me that they were going to name their child after me. That then was like, whether it's a boy or a girl when naming them Tiffany Haddish. And I was like, don't do that, don't do that.

And then, you know, what's crazy is just recently I went to open up a bank account at a black owned bank and there was already a Tiffany had there. That's two years old.

Oh, that's amazing. So somebody did name their child Tiffany Haddish. That's I. I love like what I feel about that. I think it's great. Are you kidding? It's great. I feel like they trust them. I didn't know my mom had not been any bad at the last nine. That's good. That's a little odd. There was not there was just a me ad. That's the name of. Two years up, like you can give him, just like I feel like you said, nicer to steal my identity.

Well. That at the same bank, I'm first of all, what's a two year old doing having a bank account? Let's discuss that without saying, OK, I'm a little slower on the uptake.

It took me a minute to to process that factoid.

Two year olds don't need bank accounts with your name now. But you know what you can do, no matter how old you can buy a house as soon as you buy.

You can you know that you can buy a house as soon as you buy. Hmm. Hmm. You're doing a lot of deep digging and you're on on on all of this, and I think it's something you can buy a house like your parents could buy a house and they go ahead as soon as you born, like they have a trust for you or money for you. And that is what puts down the down payment. You can get a loan.

So you got Social Security number and they show that you have the trust, the money behind you. You can get a loan. Right. This is how parents get phone bills and your kids names the shit you fill up your credit boom about how to put the house in Yonath. You only to. And you're ahead of the world, ahead of the game. You're ahead, you're ahead of the curve. What else I want to ask you one of what?

So tell me tell me this. You to tell you, you know, we talk for hours.

You had just bought speaking, buying things you just bought in your old neighborhood where you grew up as a girl. Am I right about that? You told me that all the black people had left.

They did. They're all gone. It's like white people now. I'm like, where are the black people? And you told me that where did you say that they want to some really Lancaster? Right, right, right. They look at me where all the black people like they move to Section eight.

See, what happened was like, OK, so things start getting more expensive in. A lot of the land is owned by white people, right? In the black people are renting. And people started being like the grandkids are the the children of the people around, you know, they're like, well, we could continue to rent or we could just move back into our place. It would save us so much money. Right. So they take the Section eight off of it.

They redo the house a little bit and then move back in. They move in to their childhood home or their grandparents home or whatever. And so then that displaces the people that were renting there. And they're only renting because they don't understand how banking works to get a loan and buy. Or they're not able to get along because they don't make enough money or they're not or they never even tried because they just assume I'm black and they're not going to give me money.

Interesting. That would make perfect sense. So, like, I have a friend whose grandmother is you know, she's the oldest. I don't know how old she is, to be honest, but she's black. I don't know how old she is. I just know she looks exactly this thing from when we was like 18 and it's been 20 years. So she looks so anyways, she's lived in the same house, does not own that house. She's been in the house for over 40 years and has been renting that house all these years when her grandmother passes away.

There's no there's nothing for her to inherit except all the stuff that's in there, right. And her grandmother to her grandmother goes, well, that way you guys won't have anything to fight over, just this stuff inside. There's definitely a strategy, you've got to tell him about the bank where the two year old Tiffany Haddish is, who's getting ready to take the on established, who's already established. You need to have her investigated. I think when we're done with this podcast, the first order of business for you is get figure out this two year old Tiffany Haddish.

You know, it's funny, I already met somebody gets my girl.

Who is this? Tell me how this was their mother. Why did they think they can do this? Like, is this person all at all up for it? I want I want you to write.

I mean, you've already written a book. I know, but I want you just to do, you know, like those. I'm good friends with Maria Shriver and she always writes these like little pithy, tiny bite. You find them by the checkout thing, the little like Christmassy. And it's just like words of wisdom. I just I just I just need one or two sentences. I don't even need a whole book. But words of wisdom to figure out why you should surf, why you should get alone, why you should.

I want that book really badly. Not kidding. I'm sure you thought that book. Yes. I want to do the how to how to book. But if they had it. Yes. How to celebrate Father's Day when you don't know your dad.

Yeah, I like some deep how to that. Some some not so deep. How to apply for a loan? No, this is insane, and I'm thinking making an audio book. Right, and I pitched it to Audible and they're like, now, how about you just do a book about going to Africa and all the Hollywood shit that's gone down over the last three? Oh, God.

And I'm like, wow, wow, wow. How about a how to book?

And of course, let me tell you how I did this or how I think this should be done. Maybe some Hollywood shit comes out. Maybe not. But my. Exactly.

It's so it's so gross to me what what what people want doing. I mean, it's like it's like, oh God. Really. It's like could it be any more. We up all night trying to figure out that's what you wanted from me. Really, really.

Like I was hanging out with Sharon Stone. This was my favorite place to tell. Me to.

She's like, guess so. Like Sharon and I went do this movie with Billy Crystal Wright. She she tells them to put her in the same hotel I'm staying. So she's hitting the bell guy up every day. They tell Tiffany has to call me, tell her give me notes. Right. And I call the room. Nobody answers. So then I'm just like whatever. And then she gives them her cell phone numbers that tell her to call myself.

So not call them. Nobody answers whatever. So I leave a message. I'll leave a message. Right. So she called me at eleven o'clock at night and she's like, Honey, I'm sorry I missed you just like three days. Go. Hey, I'm sorry. Mr. Cutler went out to this bit where you just where we smoking weed your real mind.

Mind you, I never met her before. I amazing. Never met her before. Where are we smoking weed. My room or yours. I'm like you're what floor are you on? She's like, I'm on a penthouse level. I said, we're smoking in your room. I feel like it's our room. And she's like, so she just, you know, she gets like just washed off her makeup. But I like comfy cause I got her my little coffee stuff and she's like, do you want some tea?

I'm like, yes, I have lots of tea. And she pulls out this little were smoking weed stuff. Are we pretty good. The weed I brought better and I could be laughing. Right. We're sitting on the couch instead laughing, talking and she's just telling me how much we have in common, like how she's like read up on me. If she was just amazed how much we have in common.

And I'm looking at her life, really white lady. We got a lot of common really miss being rich your whole life. Really. You've been in foster care really. Now she's like, no, my mother has mental illness like you say your mother does. And I was struggling with that relationship, just like you were talking about you struggling with it. And in a month she was talking to mom like, this is going to be me when I get old.

Except I was like, this is going to be me. Like, we are two peas in a pod, like, oh, my God, I'm like falling in love with her. And the more she's talking, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there for it. Oh my gosh, I'm digging in. I'm like listening to every single word. It's just like passing the way back to and stuff. And then she's like you and me, we have to go.

You know, Jane Fonda is a good friend of mine.

I'm like, Oh, I love Jane. That's my little girl, too. I'm not talking to her. And, you know, smoking, she's the who is just like, yeah, you know, she's protest and we're protesting. I said, you guys are protesting. I did not protest. You say, yeah, we're going to front of the White House every Friday and we're getting arrested. I said, oh, that sounds like a protest before we get arrested every Friday and then we're out by Saturday, but we're protesting global warming.

I'm like, how can you protest? Like, you can't control that, but you can control people like people stuff. I think you should protest people such as Tiffany. They think you should come out and protest what I said would be really great and get it get a lot of attention.

And I'm like, well. Oh. I don't want to get arrested for standing. I don't want to I don't want to get arrested. I just don't want to do that. It's not something you'd like. Volunteer to go do it. Yeah. Let me go get arrested. And she's like Tiffany, but she'll be out by Saturday. I'm like, you guys are old white women. That can afford really great lawyers and I can afford a great lawyer, too, but I feel like as a black woman, they would try to make an example of me and I go, you know, so like, I was like, hey, hey, you guys are flying on private jets everywhere.

I get on that list for being arrested at the White House and I'm asked I'm wandered down and fingers up my orifices every goddamn time I try to fly to Des Moines every year.

Like it's like my last name is faddish already. That's the issue. OK, then you want me to get arrested? I'm a black woman. Take I'll keep me in a day. Don't let shine a light on Saturday night. Don't let my black ass out of jail probably two weeks later because they don't match my fingerprints up with some bullshit because I mean, it's I'd be involved in the situation.

Did did it ever occur to you that maybe Sharon Stone was in on the whole thing, that maybe Sharon Stone was setting you up from drop?

Oh, yeah.

See what I'm saying?

I want to say yes to that, but I can see her spirit that I don't think so. I think she's actually I think she's actually a good person. I think she actually cares more about the environment than she does about people. And she's a little delusional.

But would she sacrifice you. Yeah. For the environment?

Yeah, that's what I do believe. And I was telling her I was like, look, the environment is important. We are living. But if we treated each other a little better, maybe the earth would do better. Maybe we would. Maybe if we did it, like if we did this, like if we could, you know, maybe not enslave so many people in jail for sex slavery or, you know, maybe we could do little things like create more jobs.

It's like what hands on instead of factory type job, you know, more like doing. Yeah, we just help the homeless, like not sitting in the street. So it's not really like if we did stuff like that, maybe that's something of a protest, maybe systemic, the systemic racism movement. I will protest against that. But the environment, the ozone layer. I'm not I'm not I'm not there for it, I'm not there for I'm just not Tiffany Haddish, not down with the ozone headline.

I think so, yeah. First of all, yes, it is a headline that's going to be what's on the Google activity, had it not down the protests against the ozone.

You know, because I cannot control that. I have to ask yourself, what did the ozone ever do to you? Nothing but protect me.

Nothing protect me. So why am I not protesting the nothing but protect me from UV rays? Why am I protesting this?

From the girl who they used to say was not smart, the ozone and UV rays, I'm telling you, take that third grade teacher, put that up your ass, throwing down with knowledge that Miqdad mad at me because I can still teach what I could spell beach since I get so mad at me about that.

Is it gets one letter difference level. OK, I love you girl. This is you.

You I think we need it now.

Like when we first talk now we need to pretend that we want to talk again so you and I can talk about every four or five weeks because I'm cool with that.

I want to I'm here for I'm here and and you I please as you as you go forth into all your endeavors, please refer to me as the blue eyed Mexican Rob Lowe.

Please, please. It's so good. I'm sorry, but that's what I thought, man. And you know, that's the best. And that's because the time rages. So thank you.

Well, that that makes it just even more delicious. But I'll leave you with this. One of my first girlfriends was was his co-star in Diff'rent Strokes on this date.

Played. Yes, but a gentleman never kisses and tells you just did.

You are you're the best. I love you and your man. This is this is just been one of my favorite talks. And go take care of that two year old impostor, please.

I'm worried for you.

Yeah, well, you know, it's it's Yom Kippur now, so I'm really hungry and I'm thirsty. But I have to wait till the sun goes down before I can partake in any nourishment from my body. But this was excellent nourishment for my soul. Yes. But a spiritual meal I pray to to receive nothing but joy and happiness for the rest of the new year. And I want to apologize to you if I ever offended. You are hurting me.

Any kind of way, shape or form is never my intention. My intention is to learn and to express myself as best as possible and in the process of learning so that I can learn and vice versa. I would I would like you to just be my mouthpiece.

If I ever have to comment on anything publicly, I'm just going to go. Tiffany had issues for fucking more articulate and smarter than I am a ever. Do you?

I believe I'll be a good translator. I love you. I love you. Bye bye.

Bye bye. OK, so she's truly impressive, right? I mean. She gives no fucks, which I love. I'm still contemplating the big dicked surfer, maybe I'm not contemplating that. But she painted a pretty vivid. Picture of that, and she's so smart, I mean, the thing that I'm always struck with is like that there could be a world where somebody is telling somebody like that that they're dumb. It's unbelievable to me, it's just unbelievable.

We got a long way to go to figure some stuff out because that woman. I want my intellectual foxhole any day of the week anyway, I hope you had as much fun as I did in. You have been listening to literally with Rob Lowe, produced and engineered by me, Tory Bryant, executive produced by Rob Lowe for low profile Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Stitcher. The supervising producer is Aaron Blair's talent producer, Jennifer Sanders.

Please write and review the show on Apple podcast and remember to subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast. I'm so glad to have Atkins' joining us as partners on the show. I've been working with Atkins' now for a couple of years. I've been eating the Atkins way for many, many years, probably starting in my mid 30s when I looked at a photo of myself in US magazine is not a good day. It was they did one of those like where they put the, like, telestrator on you.

And I think I remember I was at the beach with my my great friend Bill Paxton that time, and I walked out of the water and Bill Paxon was like, God damn, buddy, you got a gun.

And he blew Atkins off. And one of the greatest things about having my relationship with Atkins is I get a big supply of their Atkins chocolate shakes. And I got to tell you, I hit those chocolate shakes instead of dessert, and if you try it, you're going to be like, what the hell? This has got to be B.S. because it tastes so good. They're rich in protein and really easy on the sugars and net carbs. And now when I thought it couldn't get any better.

Turns out they deliver on key nutrients that support healthy immune system so trans fat can shake. See if you like them as much as I do. This has been 18 cocoa production in association with Sketcher.