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Love it or leave it is brought to you by noone ever gotten questionable food advice that was questionable Johnnys to tell me not to eat carbs. And then he stopped eating carbs. Never thought about him again.


I'm not new Neum. It can be very helpful.


Yeah, you're not Neum, you know.


And in the movie Gremlins, they said that that you shouldn't feed Gismo food after midnight, which was good advice for Gismo. I will say it was always confusing to me because it's always in some sense after midnight.


So I never really understood how that works.


But Neum knows the answers to all of your food questions is the same psychology. Why Neum? It's not about what you just ate, but about how you eat. In general, New teaches you about eating your cravings and how to build new habits so you can ditch your misconceptions and get smart about food and the choices you make based in psychology. And it teaches you how to eat so you can accomplish your personal health goals and stick with them long term because you don't need rules to lose weight.


You need knowledge. You pick the health goals that are right for you and you personalize as a weight loss program to help your aspirations become reality pneumo, help you feel less stress about food. One thing that I've learned about myself is that I am a creature of routine and I need to have those like routines locked or otherwise I'd start to make very bad mistakes.


For example, right now, one thing that's been really helpful for me is my morning routine of an Egg McMuffin.


Is that going to be right for everybody? Probably not.


It's probably not right for me that well, let's take that decision right to neum and see what their cognitive behavioral approach says about that.


Well, it means you're not just losing weight. You're building the habits you need to keep it off is forgiving because you're human. If you go off track today, you'll be back on track tomorrow. There's a science to getting healthier. It's called Noom. Sign up for your child today at noon a.m. dot com slash. Love it. Learn how to eat again with Neum. Sign up for your child today at Neum A.M. Dotcom love you. Learn how to live healthier numerously is helpful.


Helps you think about your eating habits in a new way. love it.


Welcome to love it or leave it back to the future. That incredible song, truly one of my favorites was by Charlie Phillips, is awesome, really like I just love that song. It's cool and we feel good and be excited. If you want to make it back to the future theme, please send it to us and leave it at crooked dotcom. A couple of things where we get to the show. First, writer Roxane Gay joins the Keepit crew this week to talk about her new masterclass writing for social change and why smart people love pop culture.


And second, our friend Ana Marie Cox is releasing her 200 episodes with friends like these this Friday. If you haven't checked out these shows already or haven't listened in a while, now is a great time to get back into it. Subscribe to keep it. And with friends like these on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. One more thing I wanted to say before we start the show. It has been three years since the Parkland shooting and in recent days we've seen relatives of the victims of that shooting, not just fighting for gun safety, but fighting against conspiracy theories.


Two of the people doing it are Scott Beagle's parents. And I grew up with Scott Biegel. We went to camp together for years. He was a wonderful person. He was a teacher. He was a counselor. And his parents have done an incredible amount of work fighting for his legacy, for his memory, fighting for gun safety, fighting against conspiracy theories. And one thing they do in his memory is something called the Scott Jeggle Memorial Fund, which sends disadvantaged children who have been touched by gun violence to summer sleep away camp.


It's a worthy cause. And if you want to support it, you can go to Scott Jeggle Memorial Fund Dotcom and support a really nice way of celebrating the memory of somebody who did so much for kids.


This week, I talked to returning champion Shay Sorano about everything from what's been happening in Texas to whatever these top shot things are. I talked to Fran Lebowitz who tolerated me. I think the reasonable amount and who stuck around to do a version of the rant, we'll we'll call the front we all and we play a game with our listeners about the Golden Globes. But first, he's an actor, comedian, writer, and his new film, Moxie premieres on March 3rd.


Welcome back. Returning champion Mike Barenholtz.


I have come to reclaim my title. A best guess I'm taking you down Guy Branum.


He'll hear this better. I know. I'm ready for you, I'm ready for you.


All right, let's get into it. What a week.


All right. We're going to start with the worst jokes submitted by our writers. That's what we do. Hasbro announced that Mr. Potato Head will now be gender neutral, changing the toys name to just Potato Head. This infuriated conservatives who say that there are only two genders, potato and potato.


Well, listen, I think that's a good joke. If you like jokes, if you think this is a funny thing, why do you think this is a funny situation? I don't think this is funny. OK, I can tell you this. I can tell you in my house we call it Mr. Potato Head and we hold him every time we say the Pledge of Allegiance before every meal. We don't cave to this liberal media pressure like we believe what we believe, it's Mr.


Potato Head, it's a man and that man is Don Rickles. And I can tell you this, much of Joe Biden wants my vote in twenty twenty four. He will address this real live unscripted. I want him to discuss this.


I don't televi I think that's generous of you to think you should wait till tomorrow. There's a reason that we have an Oval Office. It's for two nights like tonight.


John, where does it where does it end? What's next for Transcom Voltron? Are you going to tell me the little robots that came together to build Voltron where women listen, I'm an I'm a normal man in his 40s, and this is important to me. And I just hope I think it frankly deserves more coverage. So I get it. You have to make jokes. It's a comedy show, but I take it very seriously.


It's very honestly, you're you're the emotion that you're expressing. It's really powerful.


You know, the thing is, though, like the original potato head didn't even come with a potato. You just got the you had to bring your own potato. They gave you the bits to stick. And the idea is it's like make a toy out of a potato. It's from a different time. It's from an atom. It feels like it's from another era where, you know, you had, you know, every Nintendo, you had a potato and he had some toothpicks.


And you said, this is a toy. This is a toy for you. Your mom sat there. She smoked a pack of merits and said, now build a man, build a man out of this potato and shut up. That was my childhood. I had a Mr. Potato Head.


My sister had a Mrs. Potato Head.


And the thing about any household that had two potatoes, had they all become gender nonconforming because you're mixing things together. Yes. And especially when, you know, my sister has a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. I am a gay child unbeknownst to me. And and, you know, she's saying to yourself, hey, where's Mrs. Potato Heads purse? I'll tell you where it is. It's on Mr. Potato Head. Tom, who amongst us hasn't put the masculine hat on the body, but the breasts come amongst us?


Who hasn't had that fun?


I also want to understand when eyelashes became something only female cartoons could have.


I don't understand, David. I've had David Bowie solve this in nineteen seventy three. I don't know why we're still fighting this battle. It's crazy. It's crazy.


On Monday, Spotify announced the launch of Renegades Born in the USA, a new podcast in which former President Obama and Bruce Springsteen engage in personal, in-depth discussion. Looks like Father's Day came early this year.


I don't believe that I hear him in the ads.


I don't believe he's using those markets. I don't actually think he's I mean, he sounds so convincing. Obviously very persuasive as a figure is very charismatic. But do we really think he's making that stir-fry? I don't know. Before we get started, I want to talk about Melchett now. Now, this is a service that Michelle and I use it all the time. Let me be clear. Let me be clear. There is a better way to have an email provide for yourself from the chance of big tech melchor.


Amazing. That's was amazing for those listening. Barack Obama just wandered in and delivered an ad at the perfect moment. It was amazing. Do you think it's a problem that Barack Obama and I have the same job?


Like I like I don't like that for him. No, it's good. It shows that, you know, he's just like a regular guy, you know, you guys podcast the same from the same type of room, I imagine. And and I think it just it brings him down to earth a little bit and and quite frankly, raises you up to a higher level. So I think this is I think it's it's good that he, you know, is occupying the same space as Joe Rogan as Joe.


I think, though, I mean, one thing that does, I think, make it feel like it makes sense is that we are both doing this from different rooms on Richard Branson's yacht.


You're on Brenton's. I'm on David Geffen's yacht right now. That's crazy. I just got my on different yachts right now. Celebrity vaccine.


I just got it. That's cool. Pretty exciting school. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you. Thank you.


The right wing conference, CPAC, which announced this year's theme is America and canceled canceled. A guest speaker, Seabag said, this is real. This is the quote. We have just learned that someone we invited to CPAC has expressed reprehensible views that have no home with our conference or organization and that everyone said, can you be more specific? And then CPAC said the views were anti-Semitic. And then everyone said, can you be more specific? And then it turns out to be Young Pharaoh who said very anti-Semitic things but forgot to create just enough plausible deniability to get away with it.


You got to call them global financiers, dude, said Margery Taylor Green. You got to put some space. You've got to create some distance.


First of all, the fact they disinvited young pharaohs from. He was a fantastic SNL cast member, so funny does an amazing Denzel, so that was a wrong be.


I'm a little conflicted and I don't really want to go there just because I am speaking at CPAC this year. I'm that I am.


I mean, I was going to ask to plug it at the end of the show, but we'll just get out of the way now during the panel. Yeah. During a panel with, you know, Sebastian Gorka.


Yeah. Big, big, big, big head, big guy.


And doing a panel with him and the Kuhnen Viking.


Hmm. Yeah, that's great. That's a hot ticket. We're slated for three hours, but I think we'll be done in like a half hour. It's all about how Colin Kaepernick created council culture and it will be moderated by Tiffany Trump. Wow. And tickets are still the email I got was readily available. We're going to be streaming it.


It's going to be pretty off the wall. So I would love you guys to check that out.


Like the Kuhnen shaman said Gorka and Tiffany Trump, who will believe she's at a gay rights event for some reason and a bit tipsy still from that event.


They're doing a panel at CPAC. It's just catching up. It's they blocked out three hours. I a little concerned they only have 30 hours of 30 minutes worth of conversation in them.


Check it out. We really need to move tickets, guys. Matt Schlapp is a family friend and he gave me this slot and I don't want to let him down. Our family has been friends for years. We met at a conference for people whose last names sound like diarrhea.


And and I'll just say that, like, you can't see this, obviously. But he has a what seems to be something from a bachelor party, says The Bachelor Lappers. That's what his t shirt says right now. That's what I heard. Says it seems really like a friendly some sort of inside joke since I have a Barenholtz SLAPP inside joke.


That was a little that was like his fiftieth birthday party. We all went to Tahoe. We took a time. He's a great guy, actually.


Russia's Hermitage Museum is involved in a growing scandal after the authenticity of some Faberge eggs was called into question. Evidence has come to light that these so-called eggs were not laid by magical birds at all, but instead crafted by skilled Russian artisans.


That's it. I don't. Do you know anything about Faberge eggs? You know anything about them? Yeah, I know. I know what they are, you know, but that's it.


They're like beautiful. They're beautiful. How many of them do you think there are in the world?


How many Faberge eggs total in the world? I'm going to say three thousand. It's like fifty fifty. Yeah, yeah. I as a kid, like Faberge eggs and quicksand are something that are part of the childhood imagination. Yeah. In a way that disappears into adulthood. I didn't realize there was only a couple dozen of the things everyone's always like. It's as fancy as a Faberge egg in the content that I imbibed as a child.


You were raised in the 80s. You watched Risky Business and Three Amigos, and those were the two highest stakes, most terrifying things. It makes perfect sense, makes perfect sense. Quicksand is not a real thing. It literally doesn't exist.


That's what that's what you quicksand. Are you are you are you work for quicksand? I don't work for quicksand. I'm just here to tell parents it's totally safe. There's never been an occurrence that your kids can play it and you shouldn't be fearful that you're going to get sucked into some vortex. It's fine.


Brought to you by the crooks on console. That's what that's all right. This is dark, but Lady Gaga is French bulldogs were kidnapped at gunpoint and her dog walker was shot.


Gaga announced that she is willing to offer five hundred thousand dollars, no questions asked in return for the dogs. Obviously awful not making light of it, but I saw that. And I just want to say no questions.


Ask your dog walker was shot. We should get to the bottom of that. I want to throw in a thousand dollars on top of it. But my caveat is I have a few questions. Like I want to get to the bottom of it a little bit. It's terrible. Who the heck does that? It's insane. But I have questions.


We have questions. We have questions. Questions, I have questions. And I'll just. Mel Gibson. Yes, I know he's a personal friend of yours. I don't have good friends that work together in The Passion.


I played the elder. The elder who was like, it is him. That was me.


You said, I'm a Jew. Kill him, get him. That's what you. That's the one. He is the betrayer. That was my exact line.


That's wow. Really good. Chilling. Yeah. Chilling puts you in. It puts you in. It makes it feel real. Thank you for not doing it in the Aramaic for not it. But anyway, look, I have problems. We have problems with Mel Gibson. But I draw your memory to to the film The Ransom, where Mel Gibson goes on the news with all the money the kidnappers demanded and says, fuck you, kidnappers. This money is for anyone who wants you down.


That's the energy I directed.


Dog thieves. Oh, my God. I want them to be as nervous as Gary Sinise and Act two. I want them to be sweating bullets. And worried that a unhinged person is coming for that one hundred percent. That's right. The Wisconsin based defense contractor Oshkosh has won a contest to design and build the next generation of USPS mail trucks. Oshkosh is best known for their heavy duty military equipment and baby rompers. That's what they do.


Do they change it from Oshkosh B'Gosh? I don't know. Or is it a separate company? There can't be a company called Oshkosh and then a company called Oshkosh B'Gosh.


I think that Oshkosh B'Gosh is the baby clothes subsidiary of Raytheon owned Oshkosh.


And I don't know whatever happened. Overalls, they seem great. I never I've never worn overalls in my whole life ever that I caught the tail end of it in the 90s.


I didn't have enough confidence to really kind of pull it off in high school. But there were a couple of guys who did and they looked awesome. I've seen a lot of women where it's a little more standard, but for a guy to pull it off, you got to really, really have like, great parents who, like, really instilled in you and be confident, be true to who wear some overalls. And if you really have if you really are cool, you won't wear a shirt under that.


Wow, that is cool. That's like if you can pull that off, you're like a god.


Yeah I know. I don't have that in me. Me either.


There are some guys that just look extra naked without a shirt like, you know, like some people don't look naked so people look super naked. You know, I don't know why no one wants to see that sort of jogging.


It's not and it's not like it has nothing to do with body type like there are oh, super fit guys that just they take their shirt off and it's no big deal other super because they look super naked. Yes. Yes.


Actress Shailene Woodley confirmed her engagement to Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers this week, revealing in an interview that not only has she never seen Rodgers play, she's never been to a football game. It's like Ronan has never listened to an episode of Love It or Leave It, not even once. So we can basically say anything we want here. So I will say to you, the anonymous source he's currently talking to in the living room right now, right now is.


Not amazing, not crazy, like that's a wild like what I've just shared with you. It is crazy. The shocking thing is that Ronan's never he's been on the show like I've heard him on there. That's that's maniacal. I think it's I think it's almost passive aggressive. And he's trying to power play you in your own home. It's messed up. Maybe I write a little exposé on him.


Yeah. Who watches the watchers? You know. You know who watches the watchmen.


Whatever wrote it. I love you. You'll never hear. This is fine. Keep enough of this that I won't get in trouble. Please.


An Army vet got an 80 year sentence for killing a person after a two hour argument over which branch of the military was the best. Obviously a sad day and the first official death of a member of the space force. He'll be ejected out of the side of the space shuttle in a giant sunglasses case, as is the custom established in the canonical film Star Trek to Wrath.


Of course. Of course. And by the way, the coolest branch of the military, everyone knows is good old army, maybe the army.


That's listen, I think he settled the not settled the matter with the original and the best. I'm an Army guy. Navy, fuck off. Air Force, not even a thing, part of the Navy, Marines, you seem like nice guys, please don't kick my ass when I go to Comic-Con and I'll say I don't agree.


I have equal respect for the branches and your service.


No, pit them against each other. Let's see who wins. That's how we do it, baby. Oh, man, a Florida official who set up a VIP list for coronavirus vaccines is under investigation. This is disgusting and abhorrent behavior. And Ronan, fire your fucking agent. Why are we on this list?


What what what vaccine do you guys want? What are you going to do? I get Moderna. You're going to get Johnson and Johnson. What are you aiming for?


That's a great question. There's been a lot of, I think, deeply misleading reporting about Johnson and Johnson. This isn't even I know this is like the what the public health honchos want people to think, but I actually, you know, those honcho's I really like give I don't give a fuck. Yes. Johnson and Johnson put it right here. Moderna put it over here. I don't care. Pfizer great. Any of them. Any of them.


I'm holding out for the Tesla. Elon is a friend and I was working on it. And, you know, he's actually really like down to earth humble guy. Actually, a lot of people think like, oh, super villain. He's a super villain. He's not his regular regular dude. He gets his Adreno Chrome infusions every two hours like you or I do him like a regular guy. And I'm sick of people making fun of them. And I'm going to take his vaccine and it's going to be awesome.


He puts on his Adreno groom one leg at a time, just like everybody else. Just a normal person, and I'm really excited. I think you're right, that Tesla vaccine is going to be great, he says. Delivery expected mid 2023, but I'm all for it now.


I'm paying for it now. I'm holding out. It's going to be so cool. Oh, my God. He's going to be so jealous when I grab me getting the Tesla vaccine in my Tesla. I'm kidding.


I don't have a Tesla. One hundred. And I do. One hundred and five year old. How do I know this could happen? Very clever. Very cool. Very cool. I was get gas go.


I wasn't I didn't know he's going to go on Joe Rogan when I bought the fucking thing. Nobody out of the.


I had no idea that he was going to be like some like shit poster, OK? Yeah.


I like the idea of plugging it in for my kitchen. I didn't I didn't I didn't know all of a sudden he was going to become like J.K. Rowling, like nobody told me. Seemed like a smart guy. Make spaceships. That's cool. Was that not cool all of a sudden? It's like two seconds after I decided to do it too. And then, by the way, joke's on me. What's it like to drive? I have no fucking idea.


I don't go anywhere.


You gave him money to sit at home? Yeah.


A hundred and five year old woman beat Coronavirus and said she did so with prayer and gin soaked raisins. When news broke, Big Pharma said gin soaked raisins now cost twenty thousand dollars.


I'm laughing at that. But I'm a family member of Big Pharma. Both my parents now work for Big Pharma, so I don't particularly think it's funny to make fun of a sector of the economy that's doing so much critical work right now. So I laughed at it because I thought it was funny. But I don't know. I just think sometimes jokes you have to think that there's people on the other end of that joke. And sometimes those people, you know, are big pharma science.


Yeah. I mean, I just think like I think. Thank you. First of all, thank you for sharing that. No, thank you. Thank you for letting me be sharing that.


And I'll say, like, sometimes you don't realize till it's too late that, like, you're kind of punching down.


And I'm sorry, like I always think, you know, punch up. Right, punch up. That's a joke. Punch down. You're a bully and like, just kind of pummeling pharmaceuticals executives. Yeah. Who's who's that for? You know, I just think the best jokes are ones that challenge power structures. And I don't think Big Pharma has a lot of sway or power. They're just kind of like this mom and pop industry. It's trying to help people.


So the jokes, I get them. I get it.


Having fun. I know. You know, you're thank you for telling me. I don't I don't ever want you to feel like you can't because we're having fun. We're having fun. But like you had you wanted to share that. And I'm glad I know that. And that'll make me better, that's all. Because I want to become one of those people that's like, oh, you don't can't take a joke. You know, I want to think I want to grow.


Also, we learn this week that Republican lawmakers have introduced two hundred and fifty three bills to restrict voting access in 42 states this year, according to a new analysis by the Brennan Center for Justice. One state that sees no changes. Kyrsten Sinema, state of denial about the filibuster. How about that sophisticated joke?


You know, it's a very sophisticated you've got to know a lot. First of all, Neal Brennan has his own policy center.


That's yes, bread. It's the Neal Brennan Center for Justice Kagan. Does it all, doesn't it? It's Neal Brennan, Center for Justice in Twitter arguments. Here's the deal, man. Like I can just say what you feel. And also, let's not forget voting rights, OK? That was good bye. Irish. It's Irish Seinfeld. That's why that's I mean, just eight plus impressions. Thank you. And I got all the huge ones Barack Obama and Neil Brennan recovered.




Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, that's the one thing like obviously I think at this point Neil Bernhardt impressions are pretty cliche.


It's like Christopher Walken. Everyone's got one. Yeah, everyone does their Neil Brennan.


You know, you've got to Neil Brennan do.


On Thursday, the Manhattan district attorney's office took possession of a bank, his father's tax returns and other financial data. This was a long time coming and of course, it could go either way. But I'm glad there's a chance he'll finally be exonerated.


I'm I mean, I'm program now to believe that nothing will happen. But every time something like this does happen, we inch closer and closer to the funniest possible end to all this, which is Donald Trump having to live in another country because I don't think he would ever go to jail. But like, if the heat ever got really bad, I feel like he would just move to, like, Saudi Arabia or, I don't know, like Turkmenistan or or somewhere.


And that would be like really, really funny to me if he had to be the first U.S. president to to live in exile, like if he lived in Turkmenistan, that became like a mega hot spot. Like people would be like, yeah, I'm going to go to ask about this year, see Mr. Trump. It would be like, you know, it would be so fun.


I get the guy's like, Yeah, man, I'm from Staten Island. I'm a border patrol on my boat is running out Caspian Sea, baby. I'm the best in the world. I can truly feel that shit from from New York City. We love the truck 20 for a world with repercussions, what a thing came in the first Senate hearing over the January six attack. It happened this week in the Capitol. Police blamed poor intelligence for the riot, which is no way to talk about Josh Hawley.


So insulting. And a lawyer whose pants caught on fire during an arson trial was arrested on a cocaine charge, Rudy Giuliani cannot catch a break. It's been such a rough he's just having a rough go of it.


When asked when asked to comment, Rudy said far Rudy was the best man. Rudy had like a five week run where like in the space of five weeks, he was in Baratta getting ready to get a blow job. Possibly he had four seasons total landscaping. He had a press conference where, like hair dye was just seeping out of his head. And then he was in court and he looked and he shaved his pants and caught like that happened in court thinking, what the fuck?


What are we doing here? Was a bayard's.


It was quite a dignity's having run.


But he had so much going into it that it's just like he has plenty left in reserves. And again, also podcast host yet another person with whom I share a job. But don't you feel like his podcast? It's a miracle if it's ever recorded like he's totally forgot hit record. It turns out I didn't hit record.


China's Foreign Ministry denied on Thursday that U.S. diplomats in the country had been required to take anal swabs for covid-19 following media reports that some had complained about the procedure. This is disgusting and abhorrent behavior. And Ronan, what is up with that agent? What is going on? Is there a list we can't get on? Come on.


I'm just confused. It's the nature of this job. Why is it strange that you test for Cauvin with an anal swab? Because I just wrapped a TV show and I've been taking tests every day since October. So and let's just say, Gloria, the nurse and I have become close and I've multiple times went to my team and said, are we sure this is the right way? I sure.


I see be at six a.m. in the morning in Santa Clarita.


And they said, yeah, so either it's a big joke on me or the that I will say, I think you're being I think it's nice that you're pretending you objected because I think the conversation in fact went more like this. Hey, Ike, we're going to have to go ahead and give you an anal swab. Yes. For four for covid. Do you not want a reason? Oh, right. Right. No, no, no. Yeah, no, I don't want to get that.


Definitely want you to tell me why you're doing it.


The streaming service Paramount Plus has ordered a reboot of the TV series Frasier and Kelsey Grammer has agreed to return to the title role, a reboot of Frasier. I'm listening. Here's some questions I have about the Frasier reboot. One, how much Niles donate to the Lincoln project, too? Did Martin die before he had a chance to tell Frasier that it wasn't racist to like Trump and to put a blue lives matter flag outside the balcony?


Three. What do you mean? Wilson's coming over for dinner. Rick Wilson, oh, I'd be funny sitting there with Niles, what are they going to talk about and Lillard is in town. It's a little of that, yes. Love a little of that. Get Lilith in here. She's hilarious. Bebe Neuwirth. She'll definitely be in this. Oh my God.


She's a national treasure baby. No question.


Three Does Niles get to be gay now and fall in love with the ski instructor from the ski lodge episode or are we going to stick with this whole Daphne thing? I was thinking that Daphne is still it's a different time before Niles. I'm not I believe the character is straight, but the energy that is a gay energy and today would be a gay character.


OK, yes. Yes. And what happened to Eddie? Is Eddie still with us? Oh, that's that's going to be hard to explain. Hi, this is the oldest dog in human history and they should do the Bob Kardashian hologram for Eddie, so he's perpetually running around. OK, I'm coming. I'm going to film this now. All right. All right. I think they need to turn the Frazier said do what the NBA did and build a bubble where no one can leave.


The David Crane has complete control over where Kelsey just is just driven from his mansion to set. And that's it. That's that's it.


That's it. Sorry to covid thing. It's called Bitcoin protocol. Sorry. I know you guys. I need your phone. Sorry.


You can get it from the Internet. You get it from five G. You can't have it in it. My final question about the reboot of Frazier. Did Roz end up getting a seven figure settlement from KCL after years of harassment by Bob Bulldog? Briscoe And honestly, a lot of truly unacceptable comments from Frasier Crane. All right. About the personal life of Roz. All right. Roz took a lot of shit. Roz, you should be on that station.


I should really be. Yeah, that's the movies to have her come back and be like the hard core boss who doesn't suffer fools.


That's a great lesson. I had lots of grit. Here's we have two pitches because that's your pitch. I love that Ross runs the fucking network. You have the eight plus pitch. That's that's got to do that. Let's go. Here's my other pitch, Freddy. All right. Little Freddy, who is quite the effete Frazier nails type in the show. Yeah, he's grown up. Wait a second. Is he the spitting image of his grandfather?


Have we replicated that dynamic between Frazier and Martin with Frazier and his son Freddy?


Is Freddy streetwise and not book smart like the a little sour little sour sometimes. Still sounds like a said yes. Little obstreperous steppers snippers.


There's three things she raises the boss. The grandson is his grandfather. Hologram dog. Let's go.


And now is gay. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me buddy. That was awesome. We come back. I talked to Shay Serrano. This was so fun. So good to see you, Kate.


Don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up.


Love it or leave it is brought to you by Express VPN. You know, it's not fair what I'll tell you, John, it's thousands of shows and movies from you based on your location and then has the nerve to increase their prices on you. That's right. They've just raise their prices once again.


Really like we're going up we're going to go hard against this. I said, yeah, apparently.


OK, apparently that's what you can do. That's an expensive expense. Yeah. I mean, express VPN, you've chosen a powerful enemy.


That's crazy. Also, you're protecting people's Internet security. There seems like there's plenty of dastardly villains out there.


Make sure you get your money's worth from your streaming provider.


But using Express VPN like we do see, you might not know that what's on in your country is different from what someone in the UK or Japan has in there, because get this, the studios negotiate different deals for different places and you can sneak around those walls.


You know who else like walls? Last president, he sucked. Wow.


That's a that was a hard turn.


That was quite a Segway Express VPN using Express VPN. You can control which country you want to think you're in. So, for example, use express depends on can't track you down where you could be anywhere you could be in Nese in France you could be in Sydney, Australia.


This is a great feature that they're trying to tell us here, because if you've been in another country and you want to watch, you can't because you're in another country, it makes you pretty annoyed. You're pretty annoyed that you can't watch your favorite show, Express DPN, let you watch your favorite show, because it's going to trick me into thinking you're right.


Right, right. Back in the US of A.. Yeah.


You're tricking left and right. You know, it's cool. Like, I remember I went to Mexico before the pandemic and I didn't have to cancel my trip last minute because there was a disaster.


I was I was it was fine that I was there and I was like, wow, that's cool stuff in Mexico.


It's a real eye opening experience. Anyway, we can express be.


You want to share some of the content? No, I think they had the dark night at the time. Cool. So be smart. Stop paying full price for streaming services and only getting access to a fraction of their content, get your money's worth at Express VPN dot com slash Lovette. Don't forget to use this link so you can get three extra months free. That's expressive. VPN dot com. Love express VPN dotcom. Love to learn more. And just just just for the record, I love it.


And we're back. He is an author, journalist and three time New York Times bestseller. Three of them.


That's a yeah. Maybe that's hat trick I suppose. Jay Sorano, what is up?


My beloved John Lovett, thank you for making the time to talk to us.


I wanted to talk to you first and foremost, because, look, I'm a huge fan of your tweets, all right?


Huge fan generally. Thanks.


But but, you know, you've you've tweeted through this historic storm and the power outage and the water problems that have followed. How has it been for you to be on the ground through this? And how is your family through this period of disaster about the Texas ice storm?


Talk about the oh, yeah, sorry, up the Texas ice storm. I just wanted to make sure because the Golden Globes have been talking about the nomination of Emily in Paris and the and the and the snub of I made a stir.


I just want I just wanted to make sure that we were both talking about the same terrible thing.


The storm was nuts, dude. Like they told us it might snow a little bit. Am I get cold or whatever. And then I went to sleep and Laramie woke me up the next morning and she's like, it snowed for real. For real. I looked out the window and there was like actual inches of snow in our backyard.


Never seen anything like that. It was cute for like ten hours. And then after that stuff started going real bad, it wasn't terrible for us.


We lost water for a couple of days, but we knew ahead of time I was going to happen. So we did like, you know, fill up the bathtubs, use that water to flush the toilets, boil some snow if you need, like, dishwater or whatever. But we didn't lose power and none of our pipes burst, which was great.


But like some of my homies, my buddy who lives downtown had a pipe burst in his house or in his apartment and just like flooded everything. Laramie's family there in Houston, they lost power and water for like four or five days. They're just it was awful. We we we just we're not built for that.


And that's like a philosophical statement. But also that's a practical statement. Like the houses are not built to withstand.


That's all it was. It was cool for that first day.


And then after that, it was like, all right, this could get pretty bad pretty quickly.


So obviously, part of this is that it was something Texas isn't built for in ways that makes sense. It also is a manufactured crisis in terms of, yes, what's happened with the energy grid in the way Republicans have managed the state.


There was this moment as even as the disaster was unfolding, that there was this quick propaganda campaign that popped up to blame basically AOC in the Green New Deal. Yeah.


Well, how much responsibility do you think people in Texas are putting on to their leaders? Like how much of this do you think will follow Abbott, follow Texas Republicans as this as you kind of deal with the aftermath?


I think it's going to follow them. Only the amount that the terrible things they've done so far have been following them, like the people who know are the people who know and maybe we won't get like a few more people and to understand how this happened because of these people in charge right here. But that's like a very hard thing to spread around.


Like, I only knew about it because whatever I listen to, talk shows like yours are on the Internet. Will they have a thing? And I'll read those because I'm on the Internet all day long. But like, my parents had no idea like that to talk to them about this or like other people in my family, like this is not a common knowledge thing. Who knows about the fucking electrical grid of any state? Like I didn't I didn't know until this happened, you know what I'm saying?


Yeah. It's one of the most important parts of our lives. And we don't talk about it. We don't pay attention. We don't know how any of it works.


And what one shocking thing for a lot of people who either are only lost power for a short time or didn't lose it at all is suddenly they were getting these wild electricity bills.


Yeah. So we're we're waiting to see what's going to happen there. They disabled in San Antonio, the one that we're under anyway. They disabled the auto pay. So they're like, you know, you're going to get the bill first and then they're like working their way through it. I guess. I assume on their side they're trying to figure out is it worth the money that will make to send these bills? Because, like, what can you do?


How can you fight that?


You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they just shut the power off and there's no way to win.


It reminds me a lot of what happens with the surprise medical bills, which Congress is hopefully I mean, you know, we've had these specific chairmen in one House committee whose seems very interested in protecting the insurance companies in his state.


But you're in a car wreck or you're in you have a heart attack. You're unconscious. You're brought in a. Ambulance to a hospital, you get treated there, not in your network. Yeah, as if you had any choice in the matter, you know, you're in the middle of a historic storm and you need electricity to live and suddenly you get these wild bills.


Yeah, and that's not even an exaggeration. Like people froze to death. There's a heartbreaking story of an 11 year old kid who froze to death and the like.


What are we doing?


Why is this? I think the medical thing happened to me and Larry when she had the when she had the twins and we got the bill and it was like twelve or thirteen thousand dollars that we were supposed to be responsible for. I was a teacher at the time.


I'm making eleven hundred dollars every two weeks that we can't even afford. I got normal bills and we got that bill and we were just like, well, there's a thing that's never going to get paid. I guess we just try not to get sick and go to that hospital and, you know, like what? What are we doing? What are we doing?


What are we doing? The one last question on this. Did you think it was possible to hate Ted Cruz even more? Did did you know? I did not say that it was possible. I did not.


I thought that I had dug to the bottom of that hole.


And it turns out there was 60 more feet of hate in there. Just every single bad thing you could do or say he has done in the last two weeks.


You think you've reached the bottom. But actually, that's that's just a piece of rock. We can blow that up. There's more Ted Cruz to hate underneath.


Have you ever seen a movie called Kube? I haven't. I haven't. It's a horror movie. These people wake up and in this room and whatever the quick summary is, there's a group of people in there and they're in a room and they're trying to like, escape. Each wall of the room has a door and some of the doors you go through lead to your death and other ones lead like to a safe, whatever.


And they're basically inside of a giant Rubik's cube that's moving around. And so they go for like two hours trying to figure out how to get to the beginning or the end of it. And at the end of the movie, they realize they're right back where they started. Like, that's the that's hate for Ted Cruz in my heart. I think I'm at the end of it. And it turns out we're just getting started.


Baby, any of the doors lead to Cancun? Yeah. In Cuba. Did you see that? You see him today making jokes like Orlando is great. It's not as good as what, what, what, what.


Now, look, we're ready to joke about it. I don't know that we are, Ted. No, I don't know the reading room. I don't know that you're reading the room. And then he's I do in mask material.


He's doing like mask bits. So unappealing, so unappealing.


I hate him. I hate him. So obviously, he's very serious. There's something much less serious I did want to ask you about because it's been baffling to me. So apparently people are spending a lot of their hard earned money on gifts, gifts, if you will.


Top shot, cop shot, baby. What the top shot. Let's go. So so you buy a picture, a moving picture of like a basketball player dunking or something of that nature. And it has a and it has like it's a cryptocurrency of some form. Correct. What is going on. Correct.


These are highlights basketball. Listen, I'm going to preface this. I'm probably going to explain a lot of this stuff wrong, but I'll get the general sentiment right.


OK, these are basketball highlights that live on a block chain. So they're like serialized. They've got they've got numbers. There's only a certain amount of them. And it is, in a sense, a digital version of collecting basketball cards.


That's what that's what it is. And it's a lot of fun to participate in.


Like, I just did it today. I just got in I got in a digital line today. They released they released, like new packs. Every so often you have to, like, click the button. As soon as they release a pack, you get in a line. John, there were 200000 people in line digital line to like try to get one of the packs that they put up for sale for one hundred dollars each.


This particular pack was one hundred dollars. It was like, you know, you get a chance to win a rare whatever, whatever.


But if you get one of the packs, you click the button, you get some cards that are in there, digital cards, a highlight.


And like you click the thing and it shows you what the highlight is. And then it's just like you store it on your on your phone or your crypto wallet, whatever, but it's fun to participate in.


So then you can share it. You can like send it to the group text, you can share your own.


I'm on a group text. One of the guys on our group text was able to get in early and he won one of the packs and then he's like sending videos and we're all celebrating and being excited about it.


And then it's like the luck of which ones are in your pack, how cool they are. Exactly. That's like and then you have a really good card. Exactly.


If you get a really good one, they're worth, you know, automatically tens of thousands of dollars. One hundred thousand dollars for a Zionist's cool highlight or whatever.


It's fun though. Like it's a silly thing. Obviously it's a silly thing. And obviously it's very quickly been turned into like an asset, a class asset or whatever.


But it like for those listening, for those listening, if anyone in your life is giving you. And their advice is to treat a an animated photo as an aside, you get a new person to talk about.


All right, I'm telling you, there's a better. Do you ever collect any, like, cards or anything? No, I don't have the discipline to collect anything. There have been no collectors around me. I have seen Beanie Baby collectors. My father collected baseball cards when I was a kid. There was a huge surge of baseball cards.


And I remember we had lots of them, lots of you know, you would buy, you could buy like it would be like a cardboard box, unmarked. I had, like, the full slate of earnings from that company and we had lots of those.


And then I remember for whatever reason, my father thought the baseball player, Jim Abbott, who was he was one handed pitcher. He thought he was the coolest thing. That was amazing. I do the one handed and it is amazing. It was incredible to watch this man pitch. He would he would pitch and then throw the glove in the air. And he was like a very it was it was awesome. But for whatever reason, I believe he decided to buy.


I want to say I don't want to exaggerate. It is certainly hundreds of Jim Abbott baseball cards as like an investment.


But I love you. May maybe thousands. I love there was a there were. So you would walk there was a there was a boiler in the basement and you would go through the boiler room and then there was a little closet. And in that room there were three things. There were suitcases for trips to Florida. There were winter coats and there were baseball cards.


And Jim Abbott and Jim that have to have I wonder what happened.


I wonder what happened to those Jim Abbott baseball cards. I may ask. I may need to find out. Did you collect anything you should? Absolutely.


Yeah, I do collect the basketball cards I've done. I did when I was a kid. And then I got older and there's like a different version of them. Now where they are, they're graded basically like somebody looks at it to see how good it is and they give it a score. And then those are the ones that sell for a lot of money. But like I bought some basketball cards, there's been a big boom the last year and a half or so.


I bought them before the pandemic started. My buddy Josh Luber was like telling me, hey, you know, buy some of these, get these, get these, whatever. So like, I bought a Loukia Dance's rookie card at the time. It was a couple of hundred dollars.


And then during the playoffs, I like looked it up. It was nine thousand dollars.


I hope your collection is one card lighter. And it is not. It is not. I'm holding on to it. Kept it. I'm holding onto it in case who knows it. These are his early in his. He's early in his career.


But that's all that this is. It's a digital version of it's the nerdiest thing in the world.


It's just I love it. I have I will say I forgot there's a I have magic. The gathering cards. Oh, you got to do tons of them.


But those see, that's though because more magic cards helped you make a better deck and you were always looking, you know, you don't sound any different than I was just sounding.


Right. Well, no, no, no. So so the difference in fairness, in fairness, the difference is you're building if you get a deck that has like I remember it was called the Black Lotus, might have been called the Black Lotus.


Golden Lotus put it in the comments, but it was a special kind of mana that you could tap. It was three different kinds of mana and one. And if you tapped and if you had that, it was incredibly powerful. And so it was really valuable because you could buy it to build your deck.


Yeah, I don't know what I'm defending.


I don't know why am I defensive. I don't know. But that's what I'm saying.


Like, if you like a thing, lean into the thing you like, especially right now. Like especially right now what?


For 20 minutes we were all texting to see if he was going to get his pack, because in that line I was like, No, seventy five thousand or something. And he was eleven thousand. And I think they had like ten thousand eight hundred packs available. So we were all, you know, we pinned our hopes on, on Mike. Mike was the guy. We pinned their hopes on Mike, and then he got it and we celebrate it.


It's fun. That's awesome. That's awesome. Good, good stuff.


I need a gay version of this, like one of a one of a kind block chain verified gifts from Lisa Kudrow is the comeback.


There you go. That would work for me. Oh, work for forty thousand bucks automatically.


If you get the one where she's dressed up like a giant muffin, then you're going to buy a house goodbye house.


She Sorano. I'm glad you're doing OK. Thanks for talking to us. Thanks for giving us an update and talk to you again soon. Always, always.


Thank you so much for being here. When we come back, a listener join us for a game about the Golden Globes.


Don't go anywhere. Is love it or leave it and there's more on the way.


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Bergkamp love it and we're back. This weekend is the Golden Globes. And if you've been on the Internet at any time in the last month, you know that people are angry about it. When the Golden Globe nominees were announced, the lack of diversity among the nominees was clear with black Oscar frontrunners like one night in Miami and Judas in the Black Messiah passed over for Menck and something called the father. Emily in Paris snagged multiple nominations over shows like I May Destroy You, but anger at the Globes is nothing new.


It is a yearly tradition. Almost every year, people point out that the choices made by the Globes seem radically out of line with the general critical consensus. There are deeply weird picks in there and not like, hey, we discovered this like look like some odd choices, like, wait a second, I don't think anybody thought that was good.


You didn't think that was good. Golden Globes. And most of this has to do with the group of film journalists that run the Globes. It's a little bit shady. It's called the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. And the Golden Globes get a lot of attention, but it's very different than the other award shows.


And while, you know, look, do we have bigger fish to fry right now? Yeah, we do. We do. But I don't know. I want to talk about the Golden Globes. And here to play a game with us is far, far. Hi, nice to meet you as well. Thanks for being here.


Do you watch the Golden Globes? I watch them days later and I see the highlights clips on YouTube.


That's the right level. And you like cinema? I do. I do. Great. So we are going to quiz you because we don't think you'll be able to tell what's real and what's fake about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. And a game we're calling Mozart in the Jungle won best comedy in 2015 over VEP. Transparent Orange is the new black casual and Silicon Valley. What more do you need to know?


Here's outworks for. I'm going to read a fact about the EPA or Golden Globe winners, and you have to tell us whether it's true or false.


Are you ready? I'm ready. Almost 7000 people vote for the Oscars, while only 87 people vote for the Golden Globes.


I'm going to say true. Correct.


Of those 87 people in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, only two are black. I'm going to say true or false, zero oh zero members are black. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association frequently accepts bribes excuse me, gifts for movie studios and celebrities. According to a former studio publicist, they sometimes turn around and sell the stuff online.


It's absolutely true. It's a joke. In twenty seventeen, a member of the sculptor's Golden Globe tickets for thirty nine thousand dollars, I think.


True. Correct.


Despite being a non-profit organization, the FPA still pays its members roughly two million dollars just for serving on committees.


I'm going to say true. Got it.


One member of the HFA writes for the Swedish version of the children's magazine highlights.


It's true. It's about, well, we've got to keep you on your toes. One member of the EPA is a self-described expert in quantum DNA heeling.


True, true. One member of the HFA sells a DVD about the ancient art of face reading titled Your Face Tells All False Trail.


One member of the EPA writes for a magazine that does not appear to exist out here.


One member only has one article published online, and it's on Golden Globes dot com through.


One member hasn't been seen in public for 23 years.


True, that's false. In 1999, AIG-FP members received 400 dollar coach watches from a film company promoting Sharon Stone's latest movie, The Muse. Stone got the nomination. True?


It it's true. Have you ever seen but not worth this? Have you ever seen them use? I have. No, I have not. Should I. Controversial take. I like them is it's a good Albert Brooks movie. It's funny. Isn't bad. There's a there's a Martin Scorsese cameo.


That's all I'm sayin. Welcome. Oh, I'm just saying, do I think she should have nominated for Golden Globe? I'm not sure. Probably not.


The watch is probably help when Denzel Washington won the Cecil B. DeMille award from the Golden Globes, he said the following during his speech. Some of you may know Freddy Fields, the producer of Glory. He invited me to the first Hollywood foreign press luncheon. He said, they are going to watch the movie. We're going to feed them. They're going to come over. You're going to take pictures with everybody. You're going to hold the magazines, take the pictures, and you're going to win the award.


I won that year.


True. Yeah, I love that. I love it. Just tell that story. Jim Carrey has for best actor Golden Globe. Nominations for The Mask, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Truman Show and Liar, liar. Well deserved. All of them. True is good.


I think he deserves it for The Truman Show. I don't know what Travis's problem with The Truman Show is.


The Golden Globes has an award for best trans racial portrayal of a main or supporting character.


No, no, that's false. In 2013, the EPA settled the lawsuit with their publicist of 17 years who claimed he was fired after he tried to take on corruption in the organization. The lawsuit claimed, quote, EPA members abused their position and engage in unethical and potentially unlawful deals and arrangements which amount to a payola scheme.


True. True. Yeah, true. In 2014, Gary Oldman said this in an interview. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is fucking ridiculous. There's nothing going on at all. It's 90. Nobody's having a wank. Everybody is getting drunk and everybody's sucking up to everybody. Boycott the fucking thing. True?


Yes. And for a four years later, he won a Golden Globe for the darkest hour.


Well, let's see if it's 2014. He gave the interview. Twenty eighteen. That checks out now. That sounds right. That sounds right. You're shit.


I do listen to keep it. I do listen to keep it. Oh that's. Yeah keep it. Yeah. That's him. Lewis up to date some Lewis. That's up to date. Up to date. I love that. I love that.


And I see here in our chat from Travis. You're correct. It was the darkest hour. Let's get another ding. Barra has earned another ding.


In 1994, Arnold Schwarzenegger was nominated for his role as a pregnant man in the movie Junior who?


It is true. I haven't seen that film since it came out. I have a feeling that the gender politics of that film are very bad.


I hold out. I think they hold up. You think they hold up? I'm joking.


I'm in 2011, the movie The Tourist won best picture. Yes, that was wild. Yeah, that was amazing.


Sorry, let me interrupt with one correction, it turns out, no, the tourists did not win best musical or comedy. I remembered I was so sure that it won, but I think I was misremembering just the idea of it being nominated as being shocking.


The nominees for best musical or comedy that year were The Kids are all right, Alison Wonderland, Burlesque Red and the Tourist, a wild list of films. The Kids Are All Right won for best comedy. And that list tells you that regardless of who won, the Golden Globes chose violence.


In 2012, Kelsey Grammer won a Golden Globe for best performance in a drama for a TV show called Boss.


True, true. You got it. In 2000, Kenneth Branagh was nominated for best actor for his role in Wild, Wild West Falls.


He got it in 2019. Final question. Paramount paid for 30 HFA members to stay at the five Star Peninsula Paris Hotel, where rooms start at 4500 dollars per night while they were visiting the set of a new TV show that was recently nominated for a number of Golden Globes, a show called Emily in Paris.


I think it's true. It is. It is that you've got that one. And Farra, you know your shit. All right. I'm ashamed of Gary Oldman. He did great.


You should not be ashamed. You did great. You've won the game. Phare think you did a great job. Thank you. Thank you for playing. Absolutely.


And I find all of this pretty reassuring because I think everybody kind of gets that it's all a bit silly. And the fact that Gary Oldman could shit on the Golden Globes so hard and then win one for years later tells me that the door is not closed for me, you know?


Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Because he's out the window. So you're fine as is mine as is mine. Because here's because here's the thing. Here's the thing.


All of what we've said may be true, but look, you and I both know it'd be pretty cool.


Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm in it for the trophy. That's all I want.


We're all in it for the trophy. When we come back, I talked to Fran Lebowitz. All right. And it went fine.


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You know, some breaking news on this break, Tommy. I went back and forth on on Peno agree.


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Technically, they're the same thing. Fascinating.


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I have his hand in and out, left and right. You can't get in Cancun. Here in Cancun. It was Heidi is just Heidi. I was just looking for a pal. So she's hiding.


The lovely's are just crunching.


Yeah. Heidi was like, oh, man, you know, people make fun of my husband, but we have a nice time talking about the book I'm reading and I can't talk to anybody about this book. Well, you talk to you about this book, and I said, no, Heidi, but I will give you this, Bev. I'm not looking to build a relationship here.


I just happened to be in Cancun at the same time as you. Oh, boy.


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That's drink bev dotcom slash of it and we're back. Thanks for taking the time to do this. You're welcome. I'm trying to bring back your welcome.


As opposed to what. No problem or thank you.


Believe it or not, as you jumped on the phone, my laptop crashed along with it when everything I was going to ask you. And so I'm reopening my document on a laptop that has no meaning to you.


Well, I understand you lost whatever you're going to ask me, and that is because these things don't work.


Give you one second. I apologize. I'm not going anywhere.


Fran Lebowitz, thank you so much for being here. I wanted to start with a question that's been on my mind. Why are you doing this show? Why are you talking to me?


Someone told me to someone said, no, this guy's really good because I figured there was three possibilities.


Either someone told you I was OK. You think I'm Jon Lovitz from Saturday Night Live or you're just saying yes to everything?


Well, no, I know you're not Jon Lovitz from Tel Aviv. I do not say yes to everything. And so someone told me you were really good. Who that person is, I actually cannot recall. But if I could, I would not call you Hallway's. OK, that's good.


I appreciate that. I wanted to ask you because, you know, you talk to Kara Swisher from The Times and you you talked about Toni Morrison and you said something that I thought was was quite sad that in the final days of her life, she was glued to MSNBC because of our collective obsession with the news over the last four years. Can you talk to us a little bit about your news consumption, your habits?


What to your mind is the the right level of crisis consumption, given everything that's going on in the world?


First of all, I wish that with Tony it had been just the last days of her life. It was like most of the Trump administration that she was alive for. To me, that was horrible. I think it is so stressful. I have definitely reduced my news consumption because Trump is not the president, you know, I mean, I have lived through and I'm with people now call older. But what I would call old and I'm telling you, there have been years in my life where I paid very little attention to politics because I'm not totally a political junkie.


And so there are periods that are more specific. Right. Don't have to keep monitoring the news. Of course, we don't have to market the news because we think if we keep watching, it will change in some way. But it doesn't, you know, so, you know, it's like if you keep asking the flight attendant, why don't we leave? If you're not in charge, it doesn't matter. But I think that I have been able to consume less news because Trump is not the president.


So I know there's a lot of horrible things going on. There always are. But at least he's not a president. And that was, to me, a tremendous relief. You know, what I'm really worried about is the media, you know, who invented Trump and who keep mentioning him, bringing him up, I think because it drives ratings, because now we have a whole generation of people, not me, maybe more than one generation now, like four months.


We think politics is endlessly exciting, kind of silently emotional, and that is not a good thing.


I feel conflicted about this. It'd be nice if politics were boring again. And I think we're seeing a little bit of that. I think there's some media withdrawal now. They don't have this big, dramatic, chaotic storm to cover every day. But at the same time, there was some good in it. I don't know if you agree that there was some good that all of a sudden. Everybody was paying attention. We had more people volunteering, more people caring about the role they could play in politics.


Do you agree with that?


No, because I'm sorry to say I agree that that is true, but it is not true because all of a sudden we had a million more altruistic people. It's because people were being attacked. The country was being attacked by the president. Every single, you know, group of people that were not Trump supporters were constantly being attacked, undermined. And so people were trying to defend the things that they cared about or things that, in fact, are essentially important to the country.


So it would be better if the citizens did not feel like the president was attacking the citizenry. So, you know, yes, it's good that people be involved in politics. It's especially good that, you know, people understand the politics, which some of it is just boring. Some of it used to be called civics, you know, so that, you know, people seem to have no idea at all what actually is in the Constitution. These people mainly seem to be Republican senators.


But, you know, I think it's very good when people act as opposed to just react. And it was incredibly reactive era.


One thing I've been thinking about this was from a review of your book in 1981. This is from a review of social studies. And it says, among other things, Fran Lebowitz doesn't like dogs, children, the rich, the poor. Los Angeles Nature Algebra's sportscasters, freedom of thought. The early 19th century nonfiction novels, airlines, Esperanto, just, by the way, hadn't heard Esperanto in a while and brunch. She obviously has gone too far.


First of all, I think it's amazing that you've been known for hating things for 40 years. I think sometimes you get tagged as a misanthrope, but you're more of a curmudgeon. Do you agree with that distinction? And do you agree that you're that you're a curmudgeon, not a misanthrope?


Well, I agree. I'm not a misanthrope. I was instantly called a curmudgeon. I mean, when my first book came out, I was 27, OK, I did. That's fairly young right away. People writing what we have here is a young curmudgeon. And this is a very startling thing because I guess curmudgeons are supposed to be old. But of course, this sort of thing you grow into, I really don't think of myself. You know, mostly what I'm accused of is being negative.


OK, so, you know, I've never thought of myself as being negative. I think of myself as being a realist during covid. Of course, I've had many prophetess and every time they call to tell me my results, they say, I've got news for you, you're negative. And I always say, I know that. I know that because my entire life people have been saying, friend, you're so negative. Some of these things in this list you read me, which luckily I don't remember, you know, reviews from 1981 and they're not true either way.


You know, I do not dislike children. In fact, I've written how I like children, but it doesn't fit into people's idea of what a curmudgeon is. Esperanto is something that comes up and frequently. I thank you for reminding me of it.


Well, I think it's a vicious circle, right? Because you become known for hating things. And so everybody loves to ask you what you hate. What is something you've discovered recently?


You can define recently on any timescale you'd like, that you love a new passion, something you're interested in.


You've stumped me. Well, see, that's the problem, Fran. First of all, I don't mean to criticize you. Advertising is a very lovely name, but the word passion is really overused. You know, I bet everyone is passionate about me. They have a passion. You know, people are describing things as their passion project. People are allowed now to have two separate careers. You know, very blatantly, I do this for money. And then on the other hand, I do this for art.


Well, I have bad news for you. You're one person or the other. So you're someone who does things for money. Nothing wrong with that. But on the other hand, I think right with it. So I don't know if I have any new passions. And if I do, I really none of them are springing to mind.


I just want to point out that that was an effort to see if we could find something positive. And you attacked the question and the concept of passion.


I don't think of this a tax. I'm just answering your questions. I'm not attacking them. I know.


So someone once said this to me about a famous musician who is trapped in a kind of permanent adolescence and his behavior that you stop maturing when you get famous, that however old you are when you become a celebrity, that's it. You're Bakht. Do you think that's been true of the celebrities you've dealt with in your life?


It depends what you become famous for when you say musician. And if you're talking about a popular musician, you know, that would definitely be true because popular music is young. Even if the people making it are old, you know, is young, the nature of it is young. You know what you see now that we have, you know, people who are rock stars, you know, for fifty or sixty years. And some of them keep trying to act like they're, you know, twenty when the facts are seventy.


That is not attractive. I agree, because popular music is. Largely about sex. You know, I don't care what people say it's about, but it's largely about sex. And so, you know, that's useful. That's what people should do when they're young. And I think that probably is true in professions where people's looks are paramount. That's definitely true because you're supposed to keep looking the same as you looked when you were 22. This is not possible.


We can all see that. You know, I think this would be less true of other kinds of artists. I hope you're not telling that people who are celebrities in this way, that has nothing to do with anything except a lot of people know who they are. I think that's true. I mean, but it's also true of people who are not celebrities. People, I think, get arrested at their moment of greatest success. This is why you have 50 year old men wearing high school baseball jackets or high school football sweaters.


You know, that was the zenith. I grew up in a small town. I can tell you that, you know, when I was in high school and I thought it was old men, like my parents' age at that point would have been maybe 40, you know, coming out to put gas in their car, which they used to do, you know, wearing a high school football jacket and guys their age with still tops in that remember that game.


You know, this is you know, to me, it's basically said, well, is that a problem for me?


Because I was deeply unpopular and unsuccessful in high school, which has given me nowhere to go but up.


Yeah, but I mean, I don't I obviously I've no idea what a high school is like now, except apparently they're all closed.


But I've had high school when I was in high school and in lots of ways I can see that still somewhat true for boys. It has to do with athletics. This was the upside of being a girl when I was young. Now girls have to also participate in sports, which to me does not really seem like that much progress. I know they want to do it. They should do it. But I'm very glad that was not the case when I was in high school.


You know, you are someone who has been well known now for decades.


And, you know, I read that review from 1981. I think you could there could be a similar review written today about you as a as a voice and not that you haven't adapted and changed, but that you kind of built a brand and you're sticking to it.


Well, this is a question that only someone younger would ask because and I know you're not gonna believe this because it doesn't seem believable to anyone. You know, this is actually just who I am. Very few people become other people, despite this constant idea that, you know, you keep changing like from a caterpillar into a butterfly and then to an angel or whatever people think now. But basically, this is who I am. I've been actually who I am my entire life, as are most people.


I would like to point out this is not a brand not oppose. This wasn't a plan. This is just who I am. I realize that it angers many people. I have to tell you, it surprises me the amount of time people were put into criticizing people they do not know. I mean, I'm not talking about the Internet, which I'm not on, which is one of the wonderful reasons I'm not on it. But since I started publishing, you know, I was like 21 years old.


I was running for Interview magazine. At that point, the number of readers I would be positive was like 2000 tops. Right away I start getting hate mail. I get a lot of attention and I'm not surprised that people don't like me. I'm surprised that let me assure you, you just pointed out there's numerous things I don't like. There's numerous books I don't like. There's movies I don't like, there's music I don't like the idea that I would waste my time writing to those people, telling them how much I don't like it.


To me, that seems shirt.


So my father won't eat sushi. He won't do it. He thinks raw fish is not food, it's bait. And I say, well, look, look, look at how many people love it. Every day all over the world, people eat raw fish.


No one gets sick. Not only that, it's healthy to fish. And he says it just doesn't appeal to me. I am sorry that I'm going to be the only the latest person to ask you about the Internet, but is there a possibility that the Internet is your version of sushi?


No, there's no possibility whatsoever. OK, I don't know how you even came up with that, but I keep explaining to people and no one seems to believe me because otherwise they would just believe me when they first invented computers that you would have in your own house. You know, before that, computers were like the size of the Pentagon. They were called word processors. And a friend of mine who is a screenwriter got one and she thought it was great.


Come and look at this thing is fantastic. So when I looked at it and I said, this is just a very fast kind of typewriter and that's all it was, I don't know how to type. I don't have a typewriter. I don't like machines. It's not the new machines. I don't like it. I didn't have the old machines. So, you know, I don't need this because I don't know how to type. And I'm also, you know, such a slow writer.


I could write in my own blood without hurting myself. So I do not need this. Of course, I did not know the entire world would go into these machines. How would I know that? So if you're asking me if I know that, would I have participate? Didn't wish I could say maybe, but I still don't know how to type, but which is what you do on those phones. That is true. So I know you.


I understand that that that that it got out of hand. You know, you thought it was a fast typewriter and all of a sudden the whole world's on the thing.


But here's the thing. You're not famous for being productive. You're actually famous for having writer's block.


What would be the harm in taking one month and saying for the next month I'm going to learn to use a computer and if I don't like it after a month, I'll give it to a passing stranger and say, here, have the Internet?


Well, first of all, I'm very flattered that you would think it would take me only one month to learn how to do this because I have the same car. Just 1979 and maybe five years ago, I learned how to open the hood. So rather than, you know, getting arrested at the moment of fame, I got arrested. Like, the last thing I can really think of that I learned how to do was drive. So, you know, and these new cars like which are basically computers, they can stump me.


So I don't think that I would learn to do it in a month. I don't really think about it. I concerns other people, you know, that I don't have it. It angers other people because they think it's something against them. It's not a stance. It's a preference. It's just that.


But it's not a preference, though, because it would be a preference if you tried it and gave it up.


What are you think? I don't know about this. People talk about it all the time.


It's not that I'm unaware of it, but of course, there's lots of things people talk about. If you know, somebody talks about a musical they've seen, you can say it's your preference not to have seen it. It's that you're aware of it. You know, the pros and cons. But like people could describe swimming to you. But until you go swimming, you can't say whether or not you like it.


No, but I could tell you without seeing any musical that I don't want to get. So you could describe it to me. You could not describe it to me. I already don't like it.


You didn't see Hamilton, I guess, except for I was going to say, except for Hamilton. You liked Hamilton. I loved Hamilton. OK, but I believe the reason that Hamilton acquired the position it has is because how unlike a musical it is, I don't mean it's not musical, but I mean it's really unlike any musical I've ever seen. I went the night before it opened on Broadway show. It was the last night of previews. And someone asked me, you know, after what I think.


And I said I was just shocked that it wasn't annoying. And it is fantastic. It's really fantastic. But, you know, are you going to compare any music to Hamilton? I guess not.


I guess not. But but but I.


I feel as though you've dodged my question, which is if your question is, am I going to spend a month of my life trying to learn how to work a machine that I'm never going to work? My answer is no. But I don't know why it matters. I don't know why it matters so much to other people what I do.


I don't know why it matters either. I don't know why I care. I don't give a shit what you do.


I mean, it upsets people that are friends of mine who say, I can't reach you. You know, if you're not home, I can't reach you. And I think so.


What have you felt at all during this pandemic? I mean, look, I think this pandemic is a little is a little bit like, you know, that episode of Twilight Zone where the guy who just wants time to be with his books.


Yes. And then it clashes break. Yes. The most tragic thing I've ever seen.


Does this pandemic at all like that, that you finally have all this time, but it's not the way you would have wanted it to go?


Of course, you know, I've always thought it wouldn't be great if I had to do was lie on the shelf and read, you know, but I didn't mean. And so that 400000 people would die, you know, I didn't mean. So the whole country would go broke, you know? No, it was not a good trade off. I have to agree.


It's interesting, though, I think some of the reason I think one reason people want to argue with you about the Internet is because they want to argue in defense of how much time they've spent on it. They want to make a case for themselves that the Internet is not a wholly bad thing, that there are good parts that go along with the Twitter meanness and influencers and celebrity culture. I think that's part of it. Do you think that's part of it?


It may be, but I really think essentially here's what it is. Everybody now thinks every single thing is some sort of ideological stance, you know, so everything has to be argued for or against when some things are really just preferences. You know, I was speaking at a high school, which I do like once every two years, and a kid in the audience asked me if I like science fiction. And I said, no, not really. This kid went crazy.


He was furious at me. And he was like, it was giving me the reasons why how we did it. And I finally said to him, I said, I don't really like science fiction. This is just a preference. I'm not saying you shouldn't like science fiction. I'm not saying I'm going to make a law against being science fiction. It's like asking someone, you know, which you prefer, you know, chocolate or vanilla. It doesn't matter, you know, but every thing is posed as if it is a matter of life and death, as if it's a matter of politics.


You know, things are just not that important. Whether or not I use the Internet should not be important to other people. I don't think people who use the Internet, which is everyone, I don't think they're wrong. Look, most people in this country watch the Super Bowl. I don't watch the Super Bowl.


That doesn't mean I think there shouldn't be a Super Bowl or you shouldn't watch the Super Bowl. It just means I don't watch the Super Bowl.


I am interested in this in an intellectual way because here's my reason for being interested, which is there's something that is so appealing about the way you know yourself and are unabashed in defending your opinions, your view of the world. But there is a possibility that you're wrong in the sense that while learning to use the Internet would be frustrating, while getting to know a computer and becoming part of this world would be frustrating, that on the other side of that, there'd be a moment where you realized that you liked it, that you realized that actually, you know what?


I like having this access to people. I like being connected in this way. And I have been resisting it based on assumptions that turned out to not be true.


That is totally possible. But the chances that I will find that out are not great. Before we get to we're going to do a rapid fire question, but before we get to that progress by Fran Lebowitz, Amazon says that the Kindle edition will be published on September six, 2022. How are you feeling, how you feel about that deadline?


First of all, I don't know who put that on the Internet. This is so holy. Not true that that book was due, at least I don't remember any more 15 years ago. So I don't know I don't know who puts up stuff about me on the Internet. But it is not me. It is not my publisher who I surely was not wasting your time sitting there waiting for the manuscript to come in. So, you know, I can't achieve this because I know a whole bunch of stuff up.


But it's not true. I can tell you that.


I will say that when I saw that your next book was called Progress, I did laugh. I do think that that is a very funny name for a book that has been stuck for as long as it has been stuck.


Yes, well, it wasn't about me. OK, Fran, thank you so much for your time.


Before we let you go on this show. Love it or leave it, we have a segment called The Rant Wheel.


I actually think you'd hate it, but there is a wheel and we spin it and wherever it lands, we rant about the topic. Because you are our special guest. We are introducing a new segment called The Front Wheel.


I have a list of topics here, and I'm going to give you the topic and you can just rant about it, see what comes to your mind. This week on the wheel, we have superhero movies, Wellness, Bill de Blasio, Star Wars Veganism Podcast, Ted Cruz and Starbucks. I'm going to throw them out. Here we go. Superhero movies.


I've never seen one. You've never seen one?


I don't think so. I mean, I only I would say is only a few years ago that in a conversation with a bunch of people, I said something about Batman flying. And everyone looked at me and apparently Batman doesn't fly. I never noticed.


No, no Batman. Batman doesn't fly, uses his wits. He's a detective with great wealth. I believe you. But I did not know that.


Powered by rage. All right. Wellness.


Wellness strikes me as a kind of greed for extra health. You know, people use it when people we used as someone how they were and they said, I'm OK, you're not sick. Or if you're an athlete, it means you're not injured, you know, but basically what is wellness is like extra health. I'm not sick, but I could be more not sick. You know, I am in perfect condition, but I could be a more perfect condition.


Let me put it this way. I don't think wellness is a topic today in the Syrian refugee camp.


Right, right. Bill de Blasio. I have to say that Bill de Blasio is the great uniter of this political era because in New York City, everyone hates de Blasio. Everyone, rich people hate him. Poor people hate him. Black people hate him. White people hate him. Democrats and Republicans hate him. He is so incompetent that he has united the city against him.


You know, I I interviewed him and I asked him if he thought there might be something because he's because I think something quintessential about Bill de Blasio hate is how he seeks it out. That being a Red Sox fan who goes an hour or two away, far from his home to exercise, I asked him if he thought there was something psychologically wrong with him that made him want to be hated.


And the answer was unsatisfying.


Well, you know what? I liked him in the beginning. You know, the first time ever heard from I was very happy to vote for him. You know, I sort of last year and they're paying attention to ninety percent of the city as opposed to Bloomberg. I made mention to like a half of one percent of the city. And he did this great thing, universal pre-K. I thought he was terrific. So he should have gone out of office after, like, just for six months.


So it went downhill from there. What do you think, Star Wars?


I saw the first Star Wars by accident, chiefly because whenever it came out in the 70s and came out, I used to just go to every movie. So I went to Star Wars. I had no idea what it was about. About ten minutes into it, I said to my friend, This is a science fiction movie.


She said, it's called Star Wars. I don't know.


I thought maybe it was a fight between two movie stars. I don't know what I thought it was. I just went to every movie I was movie crazy. And so I did see the whole movie, but I don't remember it. And that's the last episode of Star Wars, which, as you know, is now like 20 science fiction movies.


It's an industry. It's an industry. What do you think of veganism? You know, I don't really care what other people eat. I have to tell you, you know, I don't care. I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's good. I don't think, you know, it depends how extreme people are, because sometimes it becomes very annoying. You know, as long as people don't talk to me about what they're eating, I don't really care.


You know, I'm sure it's nicer. It's certainly nicer. You know, if you're a cow, that's good. But, you know, I just don't care about spending podcast's. You know, I've never heard one. I've been on them. I know that they're to me, I could be wrong, but they seem like their radio shows on the Internet.


That's what they are. No, you're not wrong. They're just radio shows on the Internet. It's just the radio for you. Download it. Instead of turning on the channel, so I've nothing against them, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz is I mean, in an era where you could hardly decide who is the worst Republican in office, at least for the last few days, he's risen to the top, although there's so many horrible the competition for who is the most disgraceful person in American politics, you know, is so intense that I'm sure in a few days there'll be some other horrible day at the head of it.


I decided at the end of this that I was actually almost appreciative that at a time when where we can't go to restaurants, we can't go to the movies, that Ted Cruz gave us so much entertainment of doing something so profoundly stupid.


It's not just good, but I mean, I don't know very much about Ted Cruz's, you know, personal finances, but he's been in office a long time. Where do these senators get money to live like this?


Well, I think his wife works at Goldman, you know. Oh, I didn't know that. So. All right. So that's there's my answer, because this way of life is a way of life of rich people. You know, go to Cancun at the Ritz Carlton for the weekend, bring your kids. I mean, during this whole Texas thing, you know, which is horrendous. Of course, I was remembering that in the 70s there was tremendous oil shortage in this country.


And in Texas, there were people driving around bumper stickers that said things like New York, freeze in the dark subways from I remember that today and yesterday. And what do you think? Starbucks, you know, a cup of coffee used to cost, like in a coffee shop or it was like 50 years ago. Just an amazing thing that they get like zillions of people around the world to decide that a good price for a cup of coffee is five dollars.


I happen I don't want to brag, but I very rarely have the opportunity to brag about my culinary skills. I happen to make the best coffee in the entire world. So my coffee is so exquisite. That's the idea that I would drink that coffee is out of the question.


Now, I know that one of the challenges during this time has been cooking at home. What have you made for yourself to eat today?


A bowl of cereal of which also makes it a not thrilling but adequate dinner. I hate to do so. I mean, the great thing, you know, about pasta, rice or whatever I had I don't remember anymore is that you open the box.


If you don't know, do you have to worry about your friend? We need to send somebody. Do we need to send somebody to check on you?


You mean food wise? I have to say that, yeah. Several people have come to the fore, including Daniel blud, who sent me an email saying he is very worried about me. He he I, I said something about him or he read something I said about him and he would like to send me over some food. How many people do I live with? I said, tell him.


Well I have to tell you, I saw that interview. I saw that interview and I thought that is the smartest thing I have ever seen in my life. Casually mentioning a specific chef by name and how much you miss their food. I think that was diabolical. And I think I think he knew exactly what you were doing.


You're incorrect. Fran Lebowitz, thank you so much for your time. It's so good to talk to you. And everybody should watch pretend it's a city on Netflix.


It's funny and charming and at a time when there's not much of either. So enjoy it.


Thank you. Thank you so much to Fran for joining us.


And we come back we'll end on a high note. Don't go anywhere but love it or leave it and there's more on the way. Love it or leave it is brought to you by better help. 20/20 was interesting. OK, so let's do a mental health check in. How are you really and what do you need right now? Therapy can help. What is therapy exactly. It's whatever you want it to be. OK, get some tools to help with motivation, depression, anxiety, battling your temper, stress, dealing with insecurity in relationships or at work.


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I was I had friends that found going to remote therapy made it easier for them to make their appointments because, you know, one was in one part of the city and the other was at work at the other part of the city. And they could, you know, just sort of, you know, do their therapy appointment online and, you know, save their marriage, I guess.


I don't know. I'm checked in Jacinto's. They liked it and should text them. I wonder if they're still together. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help and Love It or Leave It, listeners get 10 percent off their first month at better help Dotcom Lova. They're my friends, Kim and her husband, who they're both pretty. I don't want to say they're just they're very famous, so I don't know what ended up happening. But I think I think the therapy did help.


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And we're back because we all needed this week. Here it is, the Hinode.


I love it. This is Whitney from Houston. I just wanted to let you know that my high note for I guess this whole crazy week is that we finally have power and water back at our house and we have fire back at our children's hospital. That's awesome. I know that everyone else is still struggling, but it's coming back constantly and we're all sticking together and helping each other out as neighbors here in Texas. What we struggle through this disaster. Thanks.


I love it. This is Betsy in West Hollywood. My Hinode is both my husband and I are fully vaccinated with both our shots, which means that we're ready to come back to the improvment. It's safe for the shows to finally leaving. But I've also helped at least twenty people find appointments that found the appointment process too confusing. So knowing that I've been able to help others get the shot also really feels good. Just hope to see you soon. Take care.


I love it. This is Toby from Davis, California. I know this week that I submitted my application to grad school in preparation to become a high school chemistry teacher. I'm excited to join that workforce and hopefully teach the next generation of Americans to be a little more curious and scientifically literate. Thanks for everything.


Hi, my name is Becca and I'm from Maryland and I'm a teacher. And my high note for this week is that I have been teaching in person since September in a hybrid model and we're about to go back with almost all of our students. And I just got my second vaccine on Tuesday, so I'm super excited to still be in the classroom, but actually going back and feeling more protected. Thank you for everything you all do. This makes my Saturday every single Saturday.


Thanks a lot.


My thanks to everybody who submitted a high note. Betsy, I want to be back doing live shows too. So good to hear from you. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at three two three five two one nine four five five. Thank you so much. You, Ike Barenholtz, Fran Lebowitz, Shay Serrano and everyone who called in.


There are six hundred and nineteen days until the 2022 midterm elections and said nope I don't care when Traviss birthday is. Have a great weekend.


Everybody would love it or leave. It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, Lee Eisenberg, our head writer, and the person whose gender reveal party started the fire, Travis Helwig, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gwendolyn and Peter Miller are the writers are assistant producer is Sidney Rabil. Lance is our editor and Kyle Segment is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shirker, thanks to our designers Jessie McClain and Jamie Skil for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast.


And to our digital producers, Naar Melkonian and Milo Kim for filming and editing video each week. So you can here's the thing about Hillary Clinton.


She's been first lady, secretary of state and a presidential candidate. And at this point, she can talk to pretty much anyone about anything. So really, it should come as no surprise that she makes a great podcast host.


So I just want to say something. This is it's a cross promo. Do you think that Hillary Clinton on her podcast is telling people to to listen to love it or leave it? You should see love face right now.


He's like it's like, wait a sec, kid.


At Christmas, can we make I don't want anybody else reading that cross pomo. I want it in the deal that Hillary's got to read that promo.


That'll be great.


She's like, please tune in to love it or leave it.


If somebody tells her, she'll remember the night that somebody jogs her memory and you and me both. Hillary brings a smart, funny, honest conversations on the topics they keep us up at night, like how do we strengthen our democracy or our friendships? And she's got great guests from Abby Wambach to Glenn and Doyle to youth poet laureate Amanda Gorman. See for yourself, listen to you and be both on the I Heart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.