Today we're going to focus on the components of a million dollar morning routine. And these are all based on research.

And the thing I want you to.

Think about is this.

I really believe in something called behavioral activation therapy. And said very simply, behavioral activation therapy.

Is the concept that if you want.

To change, if you want to be a better, you just start acting like the person that you want to be in the future, right now, in your today to day life.

That the actions that you take today are what will turn you into the.

Person that you want to become. And look, I know you have a vision for yourself. There is a version of you that you hold in your heart and in your mind that you see that is a better version of the person than.

You are right now.

The you that has a better, more fulfilling job or career, the you that is truly enjoying a deeper connection in your relationship or marriage, the you that has better eating habits, better physical habits, the you that really is experiencing a better connection to the meaning and purpose in your life, that life that you envision, you're capable of achieving it.

You can do the work to make.

That version of yourself a reality, but.

It'S not going to happen out of thin air. You got to put in the work.

And I personally believe that that work.

Begins first thing in the morning. That every single morning you can wake up and experience a clean slate. You can wake up and you can create a morning routine.

Not that the you right now likes, but the morning routine that the future you needs.

And the bottom line is, whether you.

Consider yourself to be a morning person.

Or not, a morning routine is essential. A morning routine is like the first domino. Let's just agree that every single day of your life, you wake up and you have the opportunity to create a new experience in your life.

And that first series of decisions that.

You make, which are basically your morning routine, it's like the beginning domino that falls.

And if your morning routine sucks, like.

My morning routine used to suck, the.

First domino that falls in your day is procrastination, stress, anxiety, depression, suckiness. And that tends to trigger a lot more of that.

Now, let's talk about the other option. Have you ever had a morning where.

You rolled out of bed because you.

Had to be somewhere?

You actually met a friend at the.

Gym, and the exercise class was not only not that bad, it was kind of fun.

And you felt really energized and proud.

Of yourself for going, and you were.

Set up for the meeting that you had.

You were prepared. What's it like when that domino falls it feels good, doesn't it? It makes you feel confident and alive and proud of yourself. It kind of creates this energy and this motion in your life. And that brings me to a simple statement.

The solution to almost all the problems.

In your life is your morning routine. If you were to get serious about creating a morning routine that makes you feel like a million bucks, that sets.

You up with the structure and momentum and positive choices, that act like a domino, that send you into your day feeling like you have started the day off with a bang. Checking the right boxes, getting it done, feeling proud, putting yourself first.

Imagine how the rest of your day flows. You see, how you set your day up is how it ends up. Say it again. How you set your day up is how it ends up. And if you are serious about making more money or making change stick or.

Getting things done or just feeling happier or finally learning how to put yourself on the list, let's get laser focused.

On your morning routine. Because when you get laser focused on.

Your morning routine and setting yourself up.

For success from the get go, it's pretty amazing what flows from there. And so, before we get into the.

Components of my million dollar morning, I.

Want to tell you about the old mill.

And for those of you that listen to the episode that we did about.

How to create an evening routine that.

Truly sets you up for success in.

The morning, you have heard part of this, but the old Mel was a complete flipping disaster.

I don't even recognize the sad sack of a human being that I used to be. I was addicted to my excuses. I was addicted to my alcohol at night. I was addicted to feeling miserable and to complaining about my problems. In fact, you want to know the.

First decision I made every single day for years, decades, in fact, the very first decision that the old Mel Robbins used to make? I'd hit the snooze button. Now let's just stop and unpack that, okay? You wake up, the alarm goes off, the sun is out, you have a brand new day in front of you.

There are people around the world that died in the middle of their sleep last night. They didn't get another day.

But you, my friend, you got another day. And instead of waking up, getting up.

Making the most of the next 24.

Hours of your life, you know what the old Mel Robbins used to do? Hitting the snooze button is procrastination in its biggest form. But you're not procrastinating on a paper.

You're not procrastinating on a project. You're not procrastinating on a call or a chore.

You're procrastinating on your fucking life. You're basically going, the first decision I'm.

Going to make today in this miraculous.

Thing called life is to not do it. I'm just going to avoid it altogether.

I have the option to make the most of this time. I have the option to put myself first. I have the option to move my body, to practice mindfulness, to go outside and listen to the birds. But you know what I think I'm going to do? I think I'm going to procrastinate. I think I'm going to avoid it. I think I'm going to roll over. I think I'm going to just opt out. And for me, I can now see that since the first decision I made.

Was to avoid doing what I needed to do, it's so fucking obvious why I was a chronic procrastinator. Because I began every day like that.

And as you hit the snooze button and you avoid facing your life, and.

You avoid facing the day, you're not feeling confident, you're not feeling energized, you're.

Not feeling in control and empowered. You are basically embodying your excuses, your fears, your anxiety, your frustration, your fatigue.

It all begins with the decision you make first thing in the morning.

I believe that.

And the reason why I'm being overly dramatic about this is because one of.

My biggest problems in life is that I avoided the hard stuff.

I had a million reasons why I couldn't fix things or get a new job or pay off my bills, or why I couldn't make things better or.

Why my husband was to blame. And so, if you're sick of your excuses, if you're sick of snoozing on.

Your dreams, if you are sick and tired of letting procrastination and doubt and overthinking and anxiety run your life, let's.

Talk about your fucking morning routine.

Because let me tell you what the.

Life of a chronic snooze button person looks like. It begins in the morning. You hit the snooze button four, five times.

That was me. I'd stare at the ceiling, think about my problem. Snooze, snooze, snooze.

And the rest of the day, guess what else I was doing?

Snooze, snooze, snooze on the problems, avoiding the phone call I needed to make, that's hitting the snooze button on that, avoiding the networking I needed to do, that's hitting the snooze button there, avoiding the hard conversation I needed to have. That's hitting the snooze button there, blowing.

Off the gym, another snooze button. It's not just about how you wake up, it's how you wake up, how you set up the day, that's how it ends up. The snooze button. That is just one example of the.

Series of disastrous choices I would make for myself. Whether it was hitting the snooze button five or six times, waking up late, not giving myself enough time, skipping breakfast, never having time to exercise, never being organized about anything.

It was just honestly a nightmare. And I always say you are one decision away from a different life.

And one of the things that has changed my life is deciding that I.

Didn'T want to do that anymore. That hitting the snooze button every single morning was not going to help me change my life.

So when I finally got serious about.

First getting out of bed and then secondly, creating a small series of promises that I make and keep to myself every single morning, it was a game changer. Simple rules for a simple million dollar morning. Number one, when the alarm rings, get your ass out of bed. Look, it's your friend Mel. I know there's a million reasons not to get out of bed, but, Mel.

It'S 30 degrees, it's dark, it's raining, it's cold, it's depressing. I got a lot going on. I stayed up late, I'm exhausted, I'm hungover, I'm tired.

My stress is through the.

None of that matters. The only thing that matters is do.

You keep the promises that you make to yourself. And I know I'm getting philosophical here. We were just talking about the alarm ringing.

You know what the alarm is?

That alarm, when it goes off.

That is a promise that you made. You set that alarm, didn't you?

You set that alarm the night before.

And when that alarm goes off, now it's time to keep the promise. And how do you do that?

I'll tell you how do you do that?

You're going to use my five second rule. The alarm is going to ring and.

You are going to count backwards. 54321. And then you're just going to roll out of bed.

That's it.

It's not sexy, it's not fun. I have been getting out of bed.

This way for 14 years and I still have to count backwards every single morning. 54321, because I don't like getting out of bed. I do not have the discipline to get out of bed. If I have the choice any day of the week, to lay in a warm, cozy, amazing bed with bamboo, silky sheets and my husband sleeping next to me, or roll out of bed into the cold bedroom and start my day, I will choose the warm bed every.

Day of the week.

But that's not the conversation you and.

I are having, are we?

We're not talking about comfort. We're talking about simple discipline. We're talking about the promises that you need to start to make. We're talking about doing things that are hard and uncomfortable.

Why? Because you deserve to have the life that you want.

And sometimes feeling like a million bucks for the whole day means you got to feel like shit for about 5 seconds. And that's what it's going to take.

And this is also about keeping promises.

If you can't rely on yourself to get up when the alarm rings, how the hell are you going to rely on yourself to do the really hard stuff? To have the hard conversation? To blow off the party and work on your resume, to get serious about your songwriting career, or the second act that you want to create or finally meeting somebody who's not got so much childhood trauma that you're their therapist and not your lover? If you can't roll out of bed simply because you said you would, when the going gets really rough, you're going to bail on yourself.

Which is why getting up when the alarm ring matters. Now, there's a second reason why.

So the first reason is you're building.

A level of integrity. You're keeping that promise.

The second reason why I don't want you to sit there and lay in bed, and I want you to get your ass out of bed when the alarm rings is because. Let's just between friends, talk about what we're doing.

As we're laying there in bed. We're looking at social media, we're indulging our anxiety. We're experiencing trauma triggers. We are riding the wave of cortisol.

And stress hormones that are flooding through.

Our brain and body.

We're bemoaning the hangover.

We feel we're spinning negative thoughts about.

The day ahead or the stuff we didn't do or all the regrets we have because we can't remember what happened last night. That's what you're doing in bed.

Let's be honest with each other.

Is that what the new you wants to do?

Of course not.

That's the other reason why when the alarm rings, rule number one to the million dollar morning, get your ass out of bed.

Why?

Because you're a winner and you got no time to lay in bed like a loser like Mel Robbins used to be and listen to that bullshit and feel those awful feelings. Get your fucking ass out of bed and get on with your day and show your body who's boss. And don't indulge that bullshit in your mind because the longer you listen to it, the louder it's going to get.

And look, I get it.

Some days it's really hard.

I don't give a shit.

All that negative stuff is lying to you. 54321, shut it down and get your ass up. Because the fact is if you want.

A new life you're going to have.

To fight for it. If you want a million dollars in the bank and financial freedom, you're going to have to work for it.

This stuff isn't easy, but it's simple but you have to do it. So number one, alarm rings, ass out of bed.

And here's the final thing I want.

To talk about when it comes to this. Why are you doing this? You're doing it for you.

You see, I think for years and.

Years and years you were getting out of bed for other people.

Think about it.

When you were little, when would you get up?

You would get up because mom was yelling at you too or dad was yelling at you too. You were getting up because you had to get to school or make the bus or get to work or you get out of bed because you got to get the kids up or you got, you get your aging parents up.

That ends today.

Today when that alarm rings, it is a fucking wake up call.

Ding, ding, ding.

Your life is here and it's time.

For you to get up for you. So tomorrow morning, we're not waking up for somebody else.

We're not laying in bed and listening to that bullshit because you get to make a choice. You can choose to do what you've always done, which means you're going to.

Have what you've always had.

Or you can make a choice to.

Show up as the new you.

You can make a promise that you're.

Going to not only wake up, you're going to get up for yourself, that.

You, my friend, are going to become the driver of your life. And that bullshit story. I'm not a morning person. Fuck morning people. Who cares? This is not about whether or not you feel like it. This is about you building the discipline because you deserve to, because that's the kind of person that you are.

And let's also tell one more truth. If I needed you, you would get your ass out of bed for me, if somebody that you loved needed you.

To set that alarm an hour earlier because they needed a ride to the airport, or they needed somebody to go to a doctor's appointment, or heck, they just needed you to be there for.

Them, you would do it.

And so today, starting today, I want.

You to do it for yourself.

And if you can't do that, then.

Let me tell you the science.

Okay?

You want to know the scientific reason.

Why you should never hit the snooze button? Let me hit you with some neuroscience here.

Two words.

Sleep inertia. That's right, sleep inertia.

When you hit the snooze button, instead.

Of getting your ass out of bed.

You mistakenly create a condition in your.

Brain called sleep inertia. Sleep inertia is a state that your brain gets trapped in for 4 hours after you hit the snooze button. Because here's what happens when you hit the snooze button. When you hit the snooze button, you're awake. And as the alarm turns off, your brain then drifts back into sleep.

And here's the thing that researchers have figured out.

When you drift back to sleep after you've woken up, your brain starts a sleep cycle. And sleep cycles take 75 to 90 minutes to complete. So when that alarm goes off again in nine minutes, and you're like, oh.

My God, have you ever noticed you're.

Like in deep sleep when you drift back to sleep?

That's because you're nine minutes in to.

A 75 minutes sleep cycle.

That groggy, exhausted, heavy feeling that you have when you hit the snooze button several times and you can't quite get awake, and you complain that you didn't.

Get a good night's sleep. That's not a function of how well you slept. That's you and me being an idiot.

For hitting the snooze button and putting our brain in a state of sleep inertia. Because when you hit the snooze button, your brain is now freaking trapped in a sleep cycle. And it takes your brain, based on research, about 4 hours to get through that groggy ass feeling. So the most productive period of the day, which is the first 2 hours after you wake up, it's when your brain has the highest speed of processing. It's when you're the most alert. You just flushed the best 2 hours of brain power down the freaking toilet because you hit the snooze button. Why am I so passionate about this? Because I wasted years of my life doing this.

I was a chronic snooze button alarm hitter.

I was also a chronic all nighter puller in college. I was chronically late with deadlines. This was prolific in my life. I would always complain about not getting enough sleep. The truth is, I lived in a state of sleep inertia. So take your power back, whether you're inspired by the science, because it's just kind of stupid to do this to yourself. Once you realize that this is what happens or you're inspired by this idea.

That wouldn't it be fucking awesome if.

Instead of waking up feeling obligated to.

The rest of the world, I took my life back?

And I started waking up for myself. I started seizing the day. I started seeing that alarm as more than alarm. It is a wake up call for the rest of my life. So rule number one for a million dollar morning, 54321, get your ass out of bed because you, my friend, have a lot of cool stuff to do.

And that brings me to rule number two. Rule number two of the million dollar morning.

You ready? Because you deserve to feel like a million bucks.

You're going to make your bed. That's right. Make your bed. Why, Mel?

Why are you making your bed? I'll tell you why you're making your bed. Because your morning routine is a series.

Of dominoes that fall, okay? And so by seeing the alarm as a wake up call to claim the day, to keep the promise to be the future you, the first domino that falls is integrity and discipline. How cool is that? The second domino that falls is making the bed, which is about completing things. See, normally, the old Mel would roll.

Out of bed after hitting the snooze.

Button, and the bed would look like a tsunami hit it.

And then for the rest of the day, whenever I walked into the bedroom.

You know what I saw? Something that was incomplete.

I saw a mess that needed to.

Be made that I had left for myself to clean up.

And so one of the reasons why I love this simple habit as part.

Of your morning routine, always make your bed. And I mean always. If I am traveling for work and.

I'm staying in a hotel, I make.

My bed, even though you know somebody's.

Going to come through and make it even nicer later.

I don't care.

Why?

Because your morning routine is a way.

For you to be you no matter where you are.

If I'm visiting my parents down in.

Florida or up in Michigan, I make my bed. Why?

Because I'm myself.

No matter where I am.

That's the power of your morning routine. This is about the promises you keep. It's about the rhythm in which you start your day. And this is a habit about completing something. Isn't it awesome to think that you start your day by checking a box.

That you make your bed because you.

Know it's a way to finish something. And there are mornings, not very often, but there are mornings where Chris might still be sleeping. Maybe I got up a little earlier and he's sleeping in. For whatever reason, I just make my.

Side of the bed. I might even tuck in the sheet around, know, kind of tuck him in.

A little bit as a little act of love. But there's another reason why to do this.

And I love this framing of it, too. Because making your bed is a way to give the future you a gift. Later on, you are going to walk into this bedroom and you are going to lay down and you're going to dream. And isn't it awesome to walk back into this bedroom tonight and there is.

A beautiful bed made for you. A beautiful place for you to lay.

Down tonight and dream. A little gift from the morning you.

To the evening you to say you deserve this. It's also a gift because if you walk back into your bedroom, you've already.

Taken care of it. There's nothing to do. There's no mess that's been left for you to clean up. You have left this gift of getting it complete and that helps to build consistency.

And I also love it because it.

Doesn'T matter where you are, you can do it wherever you are.

Just amazing.

And that brings me to rule number three.

We're going to hit the pause button.

We're going to hit a word from our sponsors. I love our sponsors because they help me bring this show to you at zero cost.

And then I'm going to come back.

And we're going to talk about rule.

Number three of your million dollar morning.

Hey, it's Mel.

And we're talking about a million dollar morning routine.

And you deserve that, my friend. So rule number one. Alarm rings. It is a wake up call. Your life is waiting. Get your ass out of bed. You got stuff to do. Rule number two, we're going to make our bed because this is about a series of promises that create a positive domino ripple effect to start your day.

And rule number three, high five. Habit, baby, you got to get in.

That bathroom after you brush your teeth.

And high five yourself in the mirror.

Now, I did a whole episode about.

This, but I'm going to explain it.

For those of you that are brand new. Here's how we're going to do this. Right after you brush your teeth, and we're going to do it after you brush your teeth. Because this habit should be paired with something that you already do and you don't even think about. That's called habit stacking. And it's going to help you encode this habit, which is a habit of encouragement, a habit of optimism, a habit of momentum and motivation, a habit of self love, of self confidence.

This is an incredible science backed one.

Two punch that all comes down to simply high fiving yourself in the mirror.

So you brush your teeth.

You better brush your teeth. I don't even have to say that as part of your morning routines because please do not go out into the world with dragon breath or yellow carpet on your teeth. We're not doing that here on the Melrobin show.

All right?

I'm assuming that your million dollar morning includes scraping the crap off your teeth. So when you're done flossing, brushing, rinsing.

Spitting, put the toothbrush down.

Take a moment.

Look the human being in the eyes. You know who I want you to see? I want you to see the future you. I want you to see the million dollar you. I want you to see all your.

Hopes and dreams in the hands of.

The person in that mirror. And I'll tell you something, that person deserves your support. That person needs your support. And that person needs you to keep a simple promise every single day.

You are going to start your day.

And your million dollar morning with a little huddle with yourself.

You are going to set an intention with yourself as you stand there after brushing your teeth. This is so grounded in research.

You got to get your mind right.

You're going to stand there and decide.

Who am I going to be today?

Is today a day about peace?

About freedom? Is it a day about momentum? Courage?

How am I going to show up today for myself? Who am I going to be?

And then, when you're ready, just like a winning team does, you are going to raise that hand and you are.

Going to high five the future you in the mirror.

You are going to send yourself into.

The game of life knowing that no matter what happens today, you're a winner. You can do this. You can still win.

You are going to do your best. You are going to try. You're going to shake off the bullshit that comes your way, and you are going to get out there and you're.

Going to make it a great day. And the thing that I love about.

This and again, I have covered the science in this. In the episode that we released called the most important habit you can have this year. The first episode we released in January of 2023, it is a game changer. My husband is also on that episode, and it's crazy emotional because he describes what happened to him when he added the high five habit to his million dollar morning routine. The breakthrough that he experienced, because you deserve to feel like a million bucks. And you don't feel like a million bucks when you're beating the hell out of yourself.

And you don't feel like a million.

Bucks when you're dragging shame and regret and failure with you. And the high five habit is the science backed, fast tracked, research backed way to plow an entirely new neuropathway and relationship with yourself into your brain, body, mind and spirit. I'm so passionate about this, but we spent a whole episode on it. So just trust me when I tell.

You million dollar morning includes the high five habit.

You are going to add a high.

Five in the mirror to your future self and set an intention as part of your morning routine. All right, rule number four, move your body and move your mind. Now, I need to say something because I haven't said it yet. And I forget to say this because I just think it's, like something you need to do.

It's, like, so obvious.

And that is. Have you noticed what I haven't done yet? I haven't looked at my phone. And I want to be very clear about this.

You are to get your ass out.

Of bed without looking at your phone.

You are to get your ass out.

Of bed before you look at your phone. You are supposed to make your bed without looking at your phone.

And you are supposed to walk into.

The bathroom and wash your face and.

Brush your teeth and do all that stuff, and then do the high five.

Habit and send the future you into the day after this awesome huddle and not look at your phone. And I now want you to move your mind and your body without checking your texts and email. Why? Because the second you pick up that.

Phone and you look at a text.

Or an email, you have now put the entire world in front of you.

I want you to stop and think.

About how many people follow you online, even if it's just a couple hundred people on Facebook. Would you want them to walk into your bedroom every single morning?

No, of course not. Would you want them to walk into the bathroom as you're standing there without underpants on, brushing your teeth?

No.

Then why on earth are you letting them do that by looking at your phone, because that's what you're doing.

And more importantly, the second that you.

Look at your phone, you are giving your most important resource as part of.

Your million dollar morning, which is your.

Attention and your intention and your energy to other people.

We got to fucking conserve that shit for yourself. Like your dreams, your energy, your focus, your intention, your attention, you got to.

Fight to keep that yours.

And so, yes, you may listen to something as you move your body, or you may listen to a guided meditation as you move your mind. But do not under any circumstances, look at your freaking texts or your email.

Or you screw the whole thing up.

It goes from the million dollar morning to bankruptcy 101 because you just let everybody bankrupt your attention and bankrupt your energy and stress you the hell out before you gave yourself the time. You're not going to find the rest of the day. And this is so important because I know a lot of you are like, but I like to do it at.

The end of the day. You can't count on that.

The only thing that you can count on is that first thing in the morning, if you get up early enough, you can put yourself first, you can move your body, and you can have a mindfulness practice before the rest of the world steps in and steals your time and energy. And so get serious about this. Yes, you can have a longer workout routine at night. Nobody's saying you can't do it twice. I'm just advocating for something based on the research and common sense. And so, rule number four of the million dollar morning, move your body and move your mind. And I'm talking ten minutes. There's a brand new study that's been.

Published in the Journal of the American.

Medical association that has found that just ten minutes of power walking every day.

Can add years to your life. And the best part is that walking is fast, it is free, and it.

Is a way for you to achieve better health, a better mood, and even better sleep. Now, what is a power walk?

Walk like you're late. That's all you need to do.

Based on the research, for ten lousy.

Minutes, get outside with your dog, your.

Kids, your spouse, get out on the porch, whatever you can do for ten lousy minutes. This is so important not only because ten minutes of walking like you're late.

Just briskly walking, it not only adds.

Years to your life, it improves your mood. Mood impacts focus all day. And also if you can get outside first thing in the morning and bang these ten minutes out by walking your dog or walking with your kids, or walking around the yard or whatever it may be. It resets your circadian rhythm when you see bright light or the outside first thing in the morning.

And based on research, that's one of the best ways for you to develop healthier sleep habits. So ten minutes physical exercise, ten minutes.

Of a mindset practice. Whether you're journaling, meditating, praying, listening to some sort of calming app, writing out prompts related to mindset that you're trying to develop. Just move your mind, move your body. All you got to commit with the mind is literally a minute.

That's it.

You're done.

And bada bing, bada boom, you have.

Put your mind and your body and your spirit first.

And don't look at the phone yet, don't turn it on the TV yet, don't check email yet. Because rule number five and this is.

What will make you a million dollars. This is what will help you pay off a million dollars in debt.

It's called the progress principle. The secret to getting big things done is making little progress every day.

You want to know how I have accomplished everything that I've accomplished?

I make little progress on things every day.

And so before you look at your phone, before you look at email, before you let the rest of the world.

In, take five minutes and move the.

Ball down the field on something that's important to you. This comes from research out of Harvard Business School. They call it the progress principle.

It is so simple.

People who feel like they've made progress.

On something that's important to them feel more fulfilled, period. It's not about getting things done. It's about making progress on things that actually matter.

So whether that thing that matters is getting the photo album assembled for mom.

And dad's anniversary, or it's getting the.

Paperwork in for financial aid for the degree that you want to go get or making progress is clearing out the.

Back bedroom now that your kids have.

Moved on so that you have a place for the future you to really work on that new book you've been writing. Or maybe it's progress on something like.

I've been working on, like launching a podcast, slowly chipping away at learning about it, studying it, moving it down the field.

510 15 minutes a day is all it takes.

Because those little moves add up to major change. And that, my friend, is the million dollar morning. It's really that simple.

It's based in profound research.

It checks all the boxes.

You can add anything you want to it. But what I love about it is no matter where I am, whether I'm.

Home in southern Vermont, or I'm visiting.

My parents, or I'm visiting a friend, or I'm sleeping on my daughter's couch in Southie, or I am staying in a hotel.

This simple series of five promises, it makes me feel like me. It makes me know that no matter.

Where I am and what's going on.

I know I can rely on me.

Because every single day when that alarm.

Rings, I keep that promise to myself. I wake up, I roll out of bed, I get started, I get my.

Ass out of bed. I do not look at my phone. I do not look at my emails. I do not check my texts. I do not look at social media.

I wouldn't dare do it because it's.

Not part of my million dollar morning. I then go and make the bed.

Why?

Because it makes me feel like a million bucks. I'm just that kind of person, you know?

And then I set the intention with the future. Mel. That's right, bitch. We're going to go get it today. High five to that. Get out there. Let's go. And that high five, it washes away the worry. It jacks me up. It makes me feel a little bit more like I'm up to something. Let's do this thing.

At 54, I feel kind of cool.

Not going to lie. Got to make time to move my body and my mind.

Ten minutes.

You got ten lousy minutes.

I still haven't looked at my messages or my emails. Not going to let it bankrupt me.

I am on a million dollar roll. And then I got to move the ball down the field.

That's it. That's it.

That is it.

And I'm serious about this. I want you to try this million.

Dollar morning, and I want to help you get started. So if you want some help, let.

Me kick your ass.

Well, I'll actually just encourage you. Join my free five day challenge.

I created this to help you put this into practice. I say this all the time.

We're not just here for listening. This is a doing podcast.

And so we created the no cost.

Wake up challenge for you.

Go to melrobbins.com wakeup start tomorrow. Tens of thousands of people have already completed it. And in the challenge, you learn more. Hacks, tips, science, research, all kinds of things that will not only motivate you.

It'S going to help you become the future you. That's what this is about. And you know why we're doing this?

Simple.

Because I love you and I believe in you. And I believe that you can do this. You can create a morning routine that makes you feel like a million dollars.

You can keep a set of simple.

Promises that helps you create the foundation to achieve your goals.

And trust me when I tell you, it will be worth it.

I am about to explain the simple three step process that you are going to use based on research in order to break the vicious cycle of procrastination and to take back your time and your life. I mean, this is big stuff. And I'm going to warn you, like a lot of things that I share, at first glance, it might sound kind of stupid. This one might even sound a little schmarmy.

But this is all research based.

And in fact, I have a copy of the five second rule book right here with me. I'm on page 145, which is where chapter eleven begins, which is all about the science of procrastination. Step number one to breaking this cycle. When you catch yourself procrastinating, forgive yourself. Step one. The next time you catch yourself procrastinating, step one is forgive yourself. And there's a really profound reason why. Procrastination is not about laziness. It's not about a lack of discipline. It's not something you do because you're dumb. Procrastination is a coping mechanism. You just have a desire to feel good right now, and you deserve that. You have a desire to lessen the stress in your life, and you deserve to lessen the stress in your life. I get it. And this first step to forgive yourself, this comes from research from Dr. Pikel. By the way, he has been studying procrastination for two decades. I mean, just imagine that studying procrastination for two, that is a dedicated person right there. And we thank you for your service to all of us. His research found that people who forgive themselves are less likely to procrastinate again. In fact, there was a study that he did.

I want to turn to the page. I got the book right here. He coauthored a paper about how students who forgive themselves for procrastinating were less likely to procrastinate on their next test. It sounds silly, but part of the problem that psychologists have uncovered is that when you're somebody that procrastinates, you're really hard on yourselves to begin with.

In fact, being hard on yourself is one of the major causes of why.

You'Re so damn stressed. And so taking a moment and forgiving yourself, and you've got to actually have a talk with yourself where you are sitting there like, oh my God, 2 hours just went by. Wow, I must be really stressed out. I forgive myself for just blowing off 2 hours on social media. And you know what? I can spend the next hour setting my day up tomorrow for success. Or maybe you see all your bills and you realize you haven't opened those suckers in two months. Just go, wow, I haven't opened my bills in two months. I must be really nervous about this. I forgive myself for not doing that. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to just do the best that I can. I'm going to face this head on. Because the next step that you're going to take, once you forgive yourself, you got to recognize that you're doing it. Why? Because patterns and habits repeat unless you replace them. And so noticing that it's a pattern, catching yourself, forgiving yourself, that is a way we're going to break this pattern. Because the step two, based on research, you must identify what you're stressed about.

So let's go back to the example of seeing bills piling up or getting the second notification that you didn't pay that parking ticket because you procrastinated and now you missed the deadline and now it's twice as expensive. Whoa, I really blew that off. I forgive myself. What am I stressed about? I'm really stressed about senior year of college ending. I'm really stressed about this presentation that's coming up. I'm really stressed that I'm behind on my sales quota. I'm really stressed that my spouse and I haven't really talked for the last couple of days and they're really mad at me. I'm really stressed about getting these test results back from my dad. I'm worried about him. When you identify what you're actually stressed about, it loosens its grip on you. It comes out of hiding. And see, I think that stress backpack is an important analogy or metaphor that you can visualize. It's behind you, so you're not, like, thinking about it. When you identify what it is, you bring it right in front of your face. And because you're now identifying the source of the stress, it loosens its grip. And now what you're going to do is you're going to ask yourself, well, what would the future me want to do right now?

Vidi, the artist in you that has already finished her portfolio, what does she want you to do right now? You've forgiven yourself. You've acknowledged what's stressing you out, which is the relentless pursuit of perfection. What does the future you want you to Mel? You know, you're zipping up your pants and that breadbasket is in there. And you forgive yourself for blowing this off for so long, and you acknowledge the stress that you feel because you are getting older, and this makes you.

Feel like you're not in control of what's going on.

What would the future Mel that had gone to see the doctor and has got this in place, what would she want you to do right now? And so that's what you're going to ask yourself. What does the future you want you to do right now? And it might just be the future you being the person that's waking up tomorrow morning if you're sitting on the couch, two glasses of wine in, and.

You realize you've procrastinated for the last.

5 hours and you've acknowledged it, you've forgiven yourself for doing it, you've acknowledged the stress that you feel because you.

Are in a fight with a friend.

Or a boyfriend or whatever, what is the you that's going to wake up tomorrow morning want you to do right now? I'll tell you what that you wants you to do. They want you to get off the couch. They want you to pack lunch for tomorrow. They want you to brush your teeth and turn off the TV in the phone and read ten pages of nonfiction.

And get a good night's sleep.

That's what the future you wants you to do. The future you does not want you to slip back into that vicious cycle and spend another 3 hours watching cat videos and memes and TikTok videos, which.

We both know is exactly what you.

Would do if you didn't break the cycle by forgiving yourself for doing it for 3 hours, acknowledging what you're stressed about, and then deciding what the future you wants you to do instead. And then finally, use the five second rule. Why? This is not just listening time, people. This is doing time. We always say that about the mel robbins podcast. Use the five second rule. It's one of the most effective science backed starting rituals on the planet for creating a new habit or pattern. And all you're going to do is you're just going to start. Because after you've forgiven yourself and you've validated what's stressing you out and you've tapped into the future, you, who is kicking ass and taking names and needs you right now, I just want you to start for 1 minute. So, viddi, when you sit down tomorrow morning and that self doubt is there and that procrastination kicks in, no problem. Use the steps and then 54321 start drawing for 1 minute. And here's what we know based on the research. Once you make that first cold call, you're likely to keep going. Once you start writing that first sentence on this chapter, you're going to keep writing.

Once you hit record on that video, on the video, you're going to keep going. Once you fill out the first name last name line on the application you need to fill out, you're going to keep going.

Once you pull up your resume template.

And you start writing, you're going to keep going. Because the problem isn't your ability to do what you need to do. The problem is you've been trapped in this stress and trauma and nervous system triggered vicious procrastination cycle. And look, I know this sounds like really? Mel, come on. I was listening to this because I want to be more productive. I want to make more money. I want to get more shit done. I want to have more life balance. Now you're telling me productivity, it's about forgiving myself. It's about calling forth the future me? Why would I want to try that? Well, let's hear a word from our sponsors and when we come back, I will tell you why. YouTube.

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That for you back to the show.

So why would you want to try that? Let me tell you why. Because procrastination is a habit. And this habit becomes a very vicious cycle. And that's exactly where Vidya is trapped. So let me let her tell you what it feels like when you don't nip this in the bud. When the vicious cycle of procrastinating on her art and her work is now creeping into other areas of your life.

The worst part of all of this, whatever this is self doubt or whatever wanting to be perfect, whatever this is, the worst part is that this doubt, this fear is slowly seeping into all areas of my life. I know this is affecting all the relationships in my life and I am just worried that this will take over and destroy everything I love. So I think the question is rather how can I relearn to believe in myself? How can I relearn to believe that I deserve all the good things that come my way and that I am good enough? How can I learn that?

Vidi, I love that. I love that you reframed the question because that is what this is about. See, I told you procrastination was not about productivity. And I also told you that the thing that triggers it was going to surprise you. And that's why this topic is so important. I say every day that it is never too late to wake up and be the person you want to be and you deserve that. And here's the truth on how you do that. You have to act like you believe in yourself before you believe in yourself. I'm going to say that again. You want to learn how to stop doubting yourself.

You want to learn how to believe in yourself. Again.

You want to learn how to not be so afraid or full of doubt or full of perfectionism, which by the way, is something you learned in order to cope with crap that was going on in childhood. Perfectionism, everybody, is what you do in order to protect yourself from rejection. There's a huge connection between your desire to be perfect procrastinating and the fear of rejection. And so using these tools, you not only are going to break the pattern of procrastination, you have a roadmap for the actions that take you to the future you. Because again, you have to act like you believe in yourself before you do believe in yourself. So let me just make this super, super detailed for you, Vidi. When you wake up tomorrow morning and you sit down in that chair and you walk through these simple steps that I have just taught you based on the research, when you start drawing, you are acting like you believe in yourself and notice you started drawing before you did believe in yourself. That's why this is so powerful. When you see yourself acknowledging that you're procrastinating and labeling the stress and forgiving yourself for getting triggered by it and then 54321 doing it anyway because you're the kind of person that picks up the phone or picks up the pen or walks out the door or says that thing or does that thing and you keep doing that consistently, you know what's going to happen.

You're not only going to get the results that you want, you're going to believe in yourself because you're going to see yourself doing the work to get the results that you want. It begins with the action. And that's why I say the Mel Robbins podcast is not a listening podcast. It's a doing podcast. It's in the doing that you become someone new. You cannot wait to feel ready. You cannot wait to feel motivated. You cannot wait for procrastination to disappear. It doesn't work that way. You got to act before you feel ready. You got to act like you believe before you do. And that's why this topic is so important. It's why I believe this will be probably one of our most shared episodes, because everybody struggles with this. Whether you have kids in college or high school, share this episode with them. If there's somebody that you wish would change, this episode will be very eye opening. If you have somebody in your life, maybe it's you, or maybe it's somebody.

That you care deeply about that has.

Huge potential, and you're like, why won't they just start doing that thing? Why are they not writing their music? Why are they not starting their channel? Why are they not applying to nursing school? Why don't they believe in themselves? Why don't they just do that thing? I'll tell you why. They're stuck in a vicious cycle, and now you understand it. So send this episode to them so they can understand it, too, and tell them it's a message from their future. I think this is an area where tons of people struggle. And when people write in and say, I'm stuck, I don't know what to do with my life, first thing is.

You limit the options. You don't take the indecisive to 31 movies. You take them where there's only a couple. You don't bring them to a smorgage board buffet because they'll stand there and go, oh, my God, look at all the food you go eat. Okay. No, you limit the options for the indecisive. Do the math. As they say, there are pro and con lists, also not considered effective. But if you do this twist to pro and con list, it works. You create the pros and con list. And don't just look at which one's longer. Look at within that list. Which items do you value? What's more important, the pro list may be short, all right, but it has things that you value more than the con. And this may sound oD, but take your time, all right? In other words, make an informed decision. Don't stall, ponder, pause, but produce. If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat. If you want to succeed, you've got to take that risk. And so what would you fail? So what?

Okay, what happens in your brain when you procrastinate?

Why are you going there? Okay, we just said it's learned. Why are you looking for the physiological explanation? Because, first of all, we don't know.

Okay.

All right? And I don't mean to do that just because I'm a pompous butt. It's also the truth. Let's stop turning for the excuse that there's a brain thing going on, and therefore, that's why I procrastinate. If you're going to do that, then you're not going to change, and that's okay. I mean, you have a right to live in misery as one wants to.

I think it's incredibly encouraging that it's learned, because I agree with you. That means you can change it. And I also heard you loud and clear. Forget the time management crap. Based on the research, none of that stuff is going to work for you if this is something that you're chronically doing. And you also said very clearly, there is no short list, there is no quick fix, there is no top ten tips when it comes to procrastination. Because this is about the story you've told yourself, the habits that you've formed, and that you avoid, avoid, avoid or seek pleasure instead of doing whatever the hell it is that you need to do. And it's become a habit. What's the link between perfectionism and procrastination?

There is a link, but they are separate concepts. It all goes down to that failure. You see, that perfectionistic person has to believe that I do well all the time. I've got to be perfect. It could be, as I said, others imposing this to me, society imposing this to me. Or it could be I'm concerned about my failures. So again, it's multidimensional. All right? Procrastination is also concerned about the failure, and so I want to avoid it. Avoidance strategy that society says is okay. It all has to do with failure and that public image.

I think a lot about the person listening and the ache that you live with when you can't get out of your own fucking way. We're in 194 countries. Most of the people listening either can't afford the PhD cognitive behavioral therapy program that you're talking about. And so for a person who really is aching because they are, in their own way, they see themselves sabotaging, what can somebody that doesn't have access to what you're talking about do in their own life? After hearing this, what are the baby steps?

Start small. First of all, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest, and you're missing that the forest is made up of trees.

Okay?

There's that old expression, don't miss the forest, because you're focused on the trees. That's not the procrastinator's problem. It's the other way around. They see the forest. Oh, my God. This is a huge task. Holy cow. I can't get all of this done. And they forget that the forest is made up of trees. So, listener, viewer. All right, it's made up of trees. And so what if you cut down one tree at a time? Oh, that's too much for you. Then let's give me three branches. You can't do three branches. I'll take a handful of leaves. Start small. Do something. And so what if you fail? So what? This is what cognitive therapists would ask you to do. What would be the worst scenario?

Let me give you some examples of things that people listening to me to do.

The street corner therapy.

No, I am not.

You just told us to look at the trees. That is a concept. And I am on a mission to break down intellectual topics and research and conceptual ideas into tactical takeaways so that somebody knows what the hell you're talking about when you say cures. I don't want the cures.

That's bullshit.

What I want is I want just one step, because I see people writing in every day, listening to conversations between PhDs or people that are talking at a level that is all academic. But when you finish listening to this podcast, Dr. Ferrari, I don't want somebody to feel worse because they don't know what a tree means in their life. And so if somebody writes in and says, I procrastinate on working out, and it's chronic, like, this is one thing that really bothers me. What would a tree be in that example?

Sure. I take exception. I'm known in 40 years of teaching to take the jargon and to make it the street wise.

I think you do. I'm taking it a step further because I don't have a PhD. I don't think it is either. You don't need to get offended. That's not what I'm talking about. I am the advocate for the person listening.

Absolutely. So am I.

Who?

Okay, I would say that person is giving us that 80%. I'd ask the person first, is this the only thing? Is working out the only thing you procrastinate on? Do you procrastinate in other areas of your life? And if they start telling me, well, yeah, I do that. Yeah, that's true too. And I don't like to do that. Then I say, okay, then you're moving from that procrastinator to procrastinating to the procrastinator state. And that's something different. And I understand that many of you can't afford a good professional to help you through that. I understand that. Don't look at a time management. I gave a number of takeaways, but I think one of them is, don't think. You just have to manage your time. That's not going to work for you. It's like dieting. You'll start in the beginning, but you'll give it up. The person who doesn't exercise. Can you make something you like to do? I said this before, something you like to do. Reinforce that you'll exercise. I don't like working on a treadmill. So when I'm on the treadmill, I'm reading my prayers. I know it'll take me about a good 20 minutes to do that.

And so I can get at least 20 minutes of exercise. Pair it with something you don't like to do. That would be my street corner answer to that one. Does that help?

I think it really helps when you take that beautiful analogy of you can see the big picture, but you can't focus every day on one freaking tree. Is there something, and I hear all of the advice. The parrot with something that you enjoy. Break it down.

Yeah. It's all part of self care. Show care to yourself, listener, please. All right. You've got to make time. Take time for yourself. Now, the next day, do a little bit more. Make love. A habit of the heart. Wow. Last week I only spent two minutes on it. This week I'm up to seven minutes. Now you could say only seven minutes. I say, wow, yahoo. That's seven minutes more than you did before.

How do you know if you're making an excuse or you have a valid reason?

That is such a wonderful question. Why are you shopping now instead of later? And that was fascinating because I found two categories of these. Procrastinators, excuse makers. Some of them attributed to themselves. Well, I'm shopping now because I can't decide on gifts. I really don't like shopping. It's really unpleasant for me. So it's my fault. Self reasons, so people will give external excuses. Not my fault, that cannot be verified, that cannot be judged by other people. So how do you judge? And so therefore these people will give us excuses that can't be judged by others to be true or false. So that's fascinating.

You know what I found fascinating about that?

Is that when you said, the excuse is aimed at you, it's my fault. That made my heart sink. Because when you always aim it at yourself, I would imagine that that makes you feel even more stuck or more ashamed or more beaten down.

Yes. Make a change. Yes, you're absolutely right. The self devaluing the self criticism can be paralyzing and demoralizing and is just not right.

People shouldn't be doing that.

It'll take you a while, but it can happen.

Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.