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[00:00:00]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, August 30 first. 2020. This is it. It's the last day of summer.

[00:00:13]

Not really, but it is I always felt that way as a kid. If it was the last day of August, September meant only two things.

[00:00:23]

You had to go back to school and what happened to the football came back, even though there was a little bit of exhibition football that they would show very. Very little of you know, when I was a kid, they didn't show that bullshit, you know, it wasn't a bunch of people playing fantasy football, trying to break down who the fucking top three running backs are, who you want to add to your team. I'm actually thinking about playing it this year.

[00:00:52]

You know, I know a disturbingly few names in the NFL where I used to know a all back in my football card collecting days, so I don't know.

[00:01:05]

It's, you know, I don't know if it's because I'm old or whatever. I keep talking about this on podcast. The names have just gotten so fucking difficult. You know, in hockey, I mean, he always had the French guy names, but the pure Jack, you know, Claude wasn't too hard.

[00:01:21]

Those Russian Finnish fucking name. Oh my God. The four fucking consonants in a row. And then a letter Y that I guess is sometimes a vowel. I've just never been able to get caught up with that and. You know, and then. I don't know, just black and white dudes, they just got they got all different names, so when I was a kid. You know, white guys were Mike, John, Bill, Bob, you know, black dudes.

[00:01:51]

They were old school, Leon, Hank, you know, simple Mel Miles. Now, I don't know. And it's like fucking it's like you take nine names, you put them all together. And then white kids are like they're all named after like either attitudes or like obscure cities or states, you know.

[00:02:13]

Or descriptions, you know, Hunter DeCota. I don't know, are they really named that? I don't fucking know. Maybe it's probably because I'm just told I have no idea.

[00:02:23]

But, you know, there was something exciting about going back to school, though, when I was a kid, because you got new clothes. And I know that's probably weird to all you younger people, but like when when my generation your mother shopped for clothes once, once a year. All right, then you got something on Christmas and on your birthday, but usually not clothes on your birthday Christmas. You get some fucking, you know, awful sweater or a shirt button down shirt from your grandmother that had, like, fucking flowers on it.

[00:02:55]

Yeah, you got once she went out and she by like fucking two or three pairs of corduroys. You know, and then a couple of shirts and then you'd have a pair of sneakers, and that was you, and then she buy him a little bit bigger and those of your sneakers for the year. That was it.

[00:03:16]

That was fucking at the overhead. That was it. You got some pencils and some pens. You got some notebooks. And then you took the the brown paper bags from the grocery store and you covered your books and you had to have a cover on it, if it didn't have a cover on it, then I don't know. You got some sort of demerit. You got detention. I remember there was this fucking country teacher that if you had a little tear in your book cover, he would walk by a desk.

[00:03:42]

Oh, look, look what's happening. And he'd stick his finger in there and rip your cover off. And you had to have a new one. Such a cunt.

[00:03:50]

Such a country, and I remember. Having crushes on some of the girls in my grade and all the like, the prettiest girls like they had, like their book covers were like perfect. You know, there was a way to fold it over. God, it's all coming back to me where you taped the cover to the actual bag and all the guys were like animals. We just, like, cut them. And then you take the fucking brown paper bag to the book.

[00:04:19]

And then when it came off, you would be tearing off the inside pages of the book or whatever parts of the paper, the inside book.

[00:04:25]

Oh, that was a long fucking time ago. Long time ago.

[00:04:29]

And every year I had hope this is the year I'm going to break out and going to get back to getting good grades. And I would do all right.

[00:04:37]

And somewhere in October, I don't know. I just didn't have I couldn't stick with it.

[00:04:42]

I didn't have the fight in me.

[00:04:45]

I got a lot of shitty grades that I should not have gotten, you know, fucking one of the worst fucking things I ever did was fuck up in school like that, because then I didn't get to go to like some a buddy of mine just dropped off his kid. It like Indiana University of Indiana, and I'm just thinking for four years, that kid's going to get to go to college basketball in that amazing arena that I went to a long time ago.

[00:05:13]

And Bobby Knight was still there and and he earned it.

[00:05:18]

You know, and I remember after my fuckin college, my high school career, the shit that I had, I had to like. Apply to colleges like this, like, listen, can I just give you money to take two classes?

[00:05:31]

Sorry, got my phone on here. Can I just give you money to take two courses to just demonstrate that I can work at a college level and I had to like strike a deal where they would gradually work me and, you know, like a non Italian trying to work his way into the mob. And I could only get so far back in the day. Right. So anyway. Yeah, that's what I did, and I gradually. Worked my way into the University of Massachusetts, Boston, and eventually transferred to Emerson College after that and even that one, I had to kind of do the same thing.

[00:06:11]

How many credits are we going to take? Took me forever. You know, if I just buckle down and apply myself. I could have been out I actually, to this day still think, like, what if I fucking actually did well in school? But then even then, I still want to rush through college just so I can become a comedian. So I start thinking, well, what if I picked up a semester over the summer before I was supposed to go?

[00:06:35]

And then I'd be done with my freshman year, December. Of the year, I graduated high school, and I just I just keep blowing through the fucking. The summer's picking up a semester each time I'd be done in like two and a half years or something, and then I'd finally be not only caught up, I'd be ahead because I stayed back in first grade. And I always just felt like my whole life I've just felt like I've been behind.

[00:07:04]

And the reality is, is there's nothing I can do about it, but that doesn't stop me in my 50 years of still thinking about this shit, what the fuck is wrong with me? So anyway, guess what, guess what I find I got a Phuket I got some social distance tour dates coming up, you know, everybody else is back to work. I have to work. I have a mortgage just like you. So you guys you guys are just regular people.

[00:07:28]

You put your pant legs on, you know, one leg at a time.

[00:07:31]

I'm in show business. I jump into my slacks, both legs, same time. I'm going to be doing Twilight comedy on the farm at South Farms, just 15 miles outside of Bristol, Connecticut.

[00:07:52]

The September twenty third shows, The Early Show in the late shows are sold out. Thank God. Thank you guys so much. So we added two shows, September 24th. Tickets are live.

[00:08:04]

Now you can go to Bellbird Dotcom for the ticket links and then we're going to try to just watch it and see where this goes, how many shows I can add, and then I'll be back. So then we might get the ticket sales go well. There then maybe, I don't know, maybe I do something else, maybe I don't I'd have no idea. All I know is. Yeah, I have to get back out and I have to go back to work because I got a wife and two kids and a fucking mortgage and all of this shit, you know, we downsized a little bit.

[00:08:39]

We pulled back. We've tightened the fucking boot straps that you pull yourself up while you have since your belt a little closer around your waist, whatever the fuck that expression is. No, know, I have to yeah, I got to stop dipping into the rainy day fund here and I got to go out, go make some fucking money, that's basically it. I can't I can't fucking sit around doing nothing. All right. It was a great it really wasn't a great five months.

[00:09:06]

It really wasn't because it was always the frustration in the fear of the unknown. But, you know, whatever, I took off some weight, I put it back on and I took it off. Took it back off again, all that weight that I gained when I was out in Yellow Springs, one of my new favorite parts of the fucking world. I've thought about that milkshake that I got at the Jersey Dairy Farm out there. I got to get the right name for that place.

[00:09:32]

Let me see here. It's my internetworking, is the internetworking. Jersey Farm, Yellow Springs, Ohio. Come on. Come on, Bessie. Come on, buddy, here we go. Oh, Young's Jersey Dairy, homemade ice cream and family fun.

[00:09:55]

It's just fucking tremendous. I'm telling you, for the rest of my stand up career, if I'm ever in Cincinnati, if I'm ever in Dayton, I'm driving over there like a fucking crack fiend there.

[00:10:06]

It was like heroin. It was that fucking good. Tremendous old Billy, sweet tooth.

[00:10:14]

So I came back, I was a bloated I was filled with salt and sugar. Speaking of back to school, I was eating like I was still in grade school. And like I said, I went to the local juice place. They had a really cool T-shirt. I still got it in a medium. And I put that fucker on and I was like a fucking, you know, you know, when you cook a hot dog right before it splits, that's what the fuck I looked like in this goddamn thing.

[00:10:40]

One of those things, if I reach forward like my this separation between my lower back where the shirt is in my pants was like at least I was probably a full foot.

[00:10:53]

And that's all because, you know, it's all in my arms and my fuckin man tits and all of that shit, so I've eaten like a saint since I got back. And now, like I said, and I felt bad for seven days, I need to be a saint for 18 days. That's kind of how it works. It's almost a three to one ratio.

[00:11:14]

Good to bad, bad to go to, however that fucking works out. So I've just been eating perfectly and. You know, occasionally, once a week is supposed to have like a high calorie day just so your metabolism doesn't get used to eating perfect because that's the worst, because then you're eating perfect. You're not seeing the results. So last night I had a little steak dinner with corn on the cob. My favorite I only corn on the cob in August.

[00:11:40]

That's it. Back in the day. That's when my mother would go out and get it.

[00:11:45]

My mother, she was like, it's fresh. They got corn in the cab. Right.

[00:11:50]

The rest of it was frozen corn, which absolutely sucked. And I've had an ongoing debate with my great friend Paul VASI, where he has two things that he says no use for in his diet. It's corn and peas. And I just, you know. He's he's Sicilian and Greek and I'm basically German, Irish with some Scottish in me, so, you know, in my world there's nothing better than mashed potatoes with some peace. Even better if you put them in one of those fucking little pies there and they're both mixed it together.

[00:12:24]

I love peas and I also.

[00:12:28]

I love corn, but it's got to be corn on the cob, you know, that fucking frozen corn where they had like the back in the day where they had, like, the butter inside of it, too, was just there. Was there something wrong about that? Like, you just didn't feel right after you?

[00:12:43]

After eight, but I know there's going to be a lot of people going like, you know, how you koeneke, Paul is right about corn is because you shit it out and it still looks like corn. Your body has no use to it use for it has not used it at all. Although I saw this documentary on food one time and it said that basically everything was made out of corn.

[00:13:01]

So I don't know what to tell you. Oh, man, I went down a fucking amazing rabbit hole last night. I just, you know, from watching that. It's fucking hilarious, whatever the hell that guy's name was, that fucking documentary, I was making fun of that music producer who's like Ron if Ron Burgundy was a real person. David Foster, so I got it, got me back into early Chicago, which is something that I always wanted to kind of get into, I just never got around to it.

[00:13:39]

Because I was too busy into my metal band and. You know, Nia loves that is funny, Nia is into all of that early 70s, like she likes the band America, she likes Chicago, she's really into that. She has, like, these different. Errors of music that she's like totally into, like, I know she's into like. I don't if it's like RB or whatever, something from the early 90s, she absolutely loves it. So I started watching this documentary that Terri Kath's daughter made.

[00:14:21]

And I didn't get any sleep the night before, so I can't remember the name of it. I mean, it was a Terry experience. And. Basically, this fucking guitarist I've told you about him before, he was so good, I didn't know Jimi Hendrix saw those guys and saw Terry Kath and was so blown away by them that he took them on tour.

[00:14:43]

He had them open up for them. And he was telling everybody going, you know, Terry's a better guitarist than I am. And that is why Jimi Hendrix was so great. Because there's a lot of fucking people in show business that when they see a beast coming up, they want to get away from them and have some cupcake open forum. But the true greats. Who even when they're they're considered the greatest out there, are not afraid to be challenged and want to be pushed because their passion is not that stupid list that they're on, it's about continuing to get better at what it is that they do so.

[00:15:21]

It made me love Jimi Hendrix even more. And and Terry Kath even more, and you got to watch it. It's called the Terry Kath experience and. You know, they get into all of a lot of stuff that I didn't know, I didn't know where the band was at and how Terry was looking to do a solo album. And at the time that he left and I also, David Foster, a little bit of an apology because I was saying he took the balls out of the band, but, you know, while Terry was still in the band, they had that number one hit in 1976.

[00:15:55]

If you leave me now, remember that song. If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me.

[00:16:07]

Now, baby, please go in the horns, bump up, up, up, up, up, up, up. That song when I was a kid.

[00:16:16]

Even when I was a kid, it kind of used to depress me, and I'll be honest with you, a lot of Chicago's music, there was something about, I don't know what kids in or whatever, but it kind of I don't know.

[00:16:29]

Would bring me down a little bit, this certain music that I totally respect, but if I listen to it because of the way I'm wired and prone to depression, like it fucking drags me down. John Legend, another one my wife loves John Legend.

[00:16:42]

When I when he fuck, we're just ordinary people. Ordinary people song. I want to go put a fucking gun in my mouth.

[00:16:51]

Not literally. Everybody relax.

[00:16:52]

I don't need a fucking phone. A friend here. I'm just saying I just did something about that like. I don't know what it is about the song, I can't even name any more lyrics after this. I like I like fight in my head.

[00:17:05]

You're not ordinary people. You're special. You just got yourself and found your thing yet? Yeah, but now I think that I'm older, more mature and more fucking chilled out and have a better feeling about myself, now I go back and I listen to that early Chicago, including that that song that was that they won their first Grammy on Baby, please don't Go.

[00:17:29]

And I absolutely love it. And. I'm fascinated with the band, especially the drummer, Danny Seraphin, I think his name is the size of his bass drum. Because it looks like he's only playing like a 20 inch bass drum. And you got that hold that horn section you got Terry. You got Peter Satara, I got all of these monsters on stage. They're killing it, and you would think that he would need at least a 20 to.

[00:18:06]

I was kind of surprised, but yet not surprised because all of those guys who were such great drummers back then, they all kind of grew up listening to jazz because that was more like mainstream, I think. So they all kind of had that swing pulse in their playing, and that's why I just think the drum is back, then we're. A lot of it was a lot more interesting as far as like the white drum as I feel, because because they did listen to jazz, they had more of a swing in what they were playing, where the white drummers that came after that kind of started with this real heavy Sabbath, Zeppelin and all of that.

[00:18:41]

And they kind of missed out on. The swing music, and if you just sort of started with that. I don't know, I have this weird theory about why people clapping on the downbeat, because if you if you watch some old jazz shit in old jazz clubs or whatever, maybe Dave Brubeck was really white crowd. You see them clapping on two and four. And then somewhere when rock music got really fucking heavy because even rock and roll still kind of had that swing pulse to it.

[00:19:10]

But when you get into the 60s where you know.

[00:19:14]

Zeppelin, the Who, Black Sabbath and music started getting like really heavy all of a sudden there was the clapping on either one in three or on all four beats, because I think it was just I don't know.

[00:19:30]

It was. The phrasing of it, I think, just doesn't take much to throw us off, but I don't think we've ever recovered speaking speaking of not recovering.

[00:19:46]

Let's go through the NHL playoffs, my beloved Boston Bruins are down three games to one. To the Tampa Bay Lightning. Is there anything worse than losing? Ta ta ta, a fucking team that's named after a goddamn weather report. You know. We're just all out of animals, all out of ferocious things to name teams after, and then you just got to be like the the hurricanes, the lightning.

[00:20:21]

The irony, Noah, what the fuck else could you be named after? What the fuck do they call that a. What does that inversion where all of a sudden just air comes crashing down like a fuckin skyscraper, microburst, the microbursts, you can't say that because then everybody will talk about dick size.

[00:20:45]

Yeah, we are down to the Tampa Bay Lightning who had just playing great. And, you know, we've taken a couple of stupid penalties. Took a five minute major boarding penalty in the last one, you know, not arguing the call. That's exactly what it was. And then they scored the third goal, which just really put us in a hole.

[00:21:06]

And considering that we got a and that were the way he's been thrown in there. We need to be playing with the lead and we're not in and on top of that with then taking down penalties and that right there is a recipe for being dumb three to one now. I think my Bruins have too much. I don't think they're going to lose today. Then it becomes three, two, then it's interesting.

[00:21:29]

Then it's interesting, your number one seed in the East Philadelphia Flyers, the Craig circles, kind of saw this one coming down three to one. To the very quiet and dangerous New York Islanders. Vancouver Canucks down three games to one. To the fuck in the Vegas nights, we're looking strong as shit, and then the Colorado Avalanche, who I believe they lost their goaltender for the series, at least for a couple of games, he split his fucking taint the first or is nuts.

[00:22:07]

Something happened there, down three game, also down three games to one to the Dallas stars. So. I was talking to a buddy of mine, he said before this round he goes, it's going to be Tampa versus Vancouver. I'm sorry, Tampa versus Vegas in the finals. That was his prediction. And my prediction, of course, was the Bruins versus Vegas and the Bruins win a cup. I mean, I thought that that was a lock.

[00:22:35]

Can we you know, we were behind the eight ball gardam goaltender left. What are we supposed to do? OK. Respect the fact I expect to respect the reasons why he left, but that definitely left us kind of. In a bit of a pickle, as they say so. I don't know, just as a fan of hockey, I don't like that everybody's down three games to one because I want to see as much hockey as possible. Although when this thing ends, don't they just start right back up again in October, Kitty?

[00:23:09]

Oh, how the fuck are they going to get everything lined back up again? Well, if these playoffs are going to go into October, I mean, not at this rate, if everybody wins and like fuckin five games.

[00:23:23]

My question then is. Is if if you delay the start of the do you play a shortened season? Or do you? I don't know, just fix it over two seasons, I have no idea on the only thing I know is that it's the NHL, so God knows they're going to do something fucking weird that makes no sense, which is why I love and also get super frustrated with with the NHL. Lewis Hamilton wins again in Belgium. It's funny, EF1, it's just the same fucking shit every week, but it's still exciting to watch.

[00:24:01]

But it's just Lewis Hamilton wins pole gets out of the first tentative first place in the fucking race is over. And the most excitement of this past race was watching Daniel Ricardo. He had a great race, just a great driver. And I just thought she was on a better team. It's just every race, though, it just seems to be, you know, Lewis, and that's it's either Max Verstappen or fucking BOTUS. And then maybe Vetle.

[00:24:32]

Every race just seems to be the same fucking thing. They think they got to do something. I don't know what they have to do.

[00:24:38]

You know, maybe other teams can fucking step it up, peek into the Mercedes. We'll sit there and see what the fuck it is there doing, try to stay, I don't get it. Step up your game something. And I also finally, I'm too racist behind AMOLED. I finally saw that multichip race where they had that horrific fucking crash, which I saw the replay of the day it happened. But like to watch it sort of with the race going on.

[00:25:03]

I mean, I can't believe somebody didn't get killed if he didn't see it. Basically, they were coming down a straightaway, going close to 200 miles an hour, two bikes touched. And at the end of the end of the straightaway, you know, you get a break card and then make a right turn. And these guys collided on the right hand side of the tracks, so their bikes got twisted up, one of them like, you know.

[00:25:24]

Continued on straight. They both did the wreckage of one and the other continue on straight in one of those air walls, but the other one. Which still had, like the I believe, the engine in it, the wheels were gone, was like going end over end as these guys were making a right turn. And in what was looking like I was going to just like broadside somebody on a bike and the bike had to be still going over 100 miles an hour, just going end over end.

[00:25:52]

And it literally threaded the needle between Valentino Rossi in front of his bike. And I forget who else was there. I forget who Zarkov was on one of the bikes, I forget if it was Viniar, I don't know who the hell it was, but like.

[00:26:11]

Literally, the shot that they have, the onboard camera of Valentino Rossi, you know, he's looking his way through the turn and then just all of a sudden, like right in front of him, this fuckin motorcycle cartwheels, nobody on it.

[00:26:27]

Parts just hanging off of it. You seem like, whoa, what the fuck? And then he just rolls back on the throttle like a fucking lunatic because I wish I could just pull over. I don't want to do this anymore.

[00:26:38]

And they actually had to stop the race. And these guys went into the pits, which was probably worse because then they had to really sit there and think about it, I would just go into the mindset of like, all right, well, what's the odds of that happening again in this race?

[00:26:52]

That's the only place you could go. And there was one of the one of the guys on the KTM bikes. I forget I forget the name of the guy. He was all fucking pissed because he was leading the race and was looking like he was going to win it. And then he went out there and I thought he went into a real bellbird mindset where he was fucking pissed. And he let his emotions get the best of them. And he ended up crashing because he was so trying to get back, you know, he seemed like a hothead.

[00:27:22]

I really like related to the guy and I felt bad when he crashed out of the race. So I would be watching the next race wherever the fuck that one is to get caught up. So this weekend, if they have another one this weekend, I will be all caught up.

[00:27:35]

All right. So that is it. Let's do a little bit of. Let's do a little bit of advertising here. Oh, look who it is. Everybody, it's all zip. Let's talk about how challenging hiring could be for business owners. Yeah, it could be. It's always, always was difficult. But now somebody could have the covid or some shit, you know?

[00:28:02]

Handheld, even meet people nowadays, you know, they got to be six feet away, you know, your desk is only three feet long, wide or some shit by. Sitting there shouting questions at him. I don't know. Wouldn't it be easier if you just fucking go online and have some? Why are you making me do all of this? I don't know what to do here. Monica Starks could relate. OK, anyways, especially with everything else they have to think about these days and forcing social distancing, supplying masks for their employees, et cetera.

[00:28:32]

That's what I was trying to get to.

[00:28:33]

Monica Starks. Everybody could relate. She needs to hire. I always like that name Monica. She needs to hire for a pivotal role. She needed sorry to hire for a pivotal role at a construction company, G.S. group, but was having a tough time finding the right person, especially with so many candidates out there. So she switched to zip. I grabbed a zip recruiter.

[00:28:55]

Doesn't depend on candidates finding you.

[00:28:57]

It finds them for you. Goes on the offensive, it's not acting like the hot chick at the bar waiting for somebody to buy a drink, right? It's out there on the dance floor shaking its ass, throwing out that personality. Like a strong six does at the club, its technology identifies people with the right experience for your job and actually invites them to apply, which is why you should try zip.

[00:29:23]

Well, for free, it's hypocritical. That's how Monica found Lamont Jenkins Lamont. Wow, I didn't know somebody named somebody like Lamont, you big dummy.

[00:29:35]

You've been hired. She said that ZIP recruiters sent Lamont's profile to her around five minutes after she posted a job because he was a great match for the role. Well, yeah, he had all that experience working for his dad in the junkyard. He'd be great at the construction company.

[00:29:52]

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[00:30:28]

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[00:31:01]

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[00:31:24]

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[00:33:01]

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[00:33:35]

You don't have no idea what. My head just went. When my head just went, I just because, you know, I don't want to fly commercial because. You know, I got a little kids at home and I can't risk and I want to fucking quarantine for goddamn 14 days. I was just thinking of flying to Hawaii private with my family and the plane goes down and rather than murse mercifully crashing, the pilot was able to land it where we still survive and there's no raft and we're just sitting there with our legs dangling in the water with life preservers on.

[00:34:09]

Jesus Christ, do I have a fear of the ocean? All right, Stamps.com, as we slowly adjust to the new normal, the new normal, we still need to be smart about how we do the business.

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First of all, we've already adjusted to the new normal.

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OK, I don't even remember going to work anymore, I don't know about the rest of you guys, this is just the fucking way it is. I don't remember being in comedy clubs. I vaguely remember that. I can imagine this. I can't even remember the sound of what a packed theater sounds like. All right.

[00:34:40]

At this point, I've done for parking lot shows and I've done three shows in a cornfield. And that's just what it sounds like to me now. So I don't know that it is normal.

[00:34:51]

I'm not adjusting anymore. I'm there. Um, anyway. Luckily, the Stamps.com, to make things easier, they've been able to keep their businesses running and avoid the crowds at the post office all from their own computers. That's that's phenomenal. I'll tell you, all of these people that have been advertising forever, who knew? We always knew they were convenient, but they are perfect for a pandemic hire from home. What have we done here? Hire from home, get your meat delivered to your home, and then ship out all the bullshit you got to ship out from home.

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[00:36:46]

Enter Berbee. You are all right. OK, we're on the back nine. All right, we're going to be doing a little bit of questions and answers, little column responses here. All right, Schoolhouse Rock, everybody. This is the first one I remember.

[00:37:04]

Schoolhouse Rock and chip up the block from your favorite school, Schoolhouse Rock.

[00:37:11]

Dear Bill, did you know Amazon Prime? Has all the episodes of Schoolhouse Rock. What do you fucking work for Amazon?

[00:37:18]

I still feel like I'm doing a read here is just to.

[00:37:24]

Here's just a few.

[00:37:26]

As a memory jogger, I actually I own all of this on a CD. On CD. I just don't have a CD player anymore. Just a bill. I'm just a bill. Yes. I'm only a in conjunction junction. What's your function. Int. So as you mentioned, how do you what about verb.

[00:37:48]

I do my thing and action.

[00:37:52]

All right. And so on. You know, what's funny is I listen to all of those. As a kid, I absolutely love them. And then after I stop watching cartoons and everything, I started playing drums, I tried playing guitar and all of that, and then I gained an appreciation for bands. And I got to tell you something. The drumming.

[00:38:13]

On like three's a magic number is just it is the perfect drum part. Incredible, incredible musicians that are on that thing. He said, I just sat and watched the ones I remembered and it was amazed at how well they put together the songs that had dry is held, topics like how a bill is put into a law. How catch how catchy. Yeah. And just shit you had to memorize.

[00:38:39]

We the people in order to form a more perfect union, I forgot to provide for common defense.

[00:38:50]

That they put the songs. OK, how catchy the tunes were and that I remember them like 30 years later, I could almost sing them word for word. It's also impressive how many there are, how many never aired that I saw. And finally, how many were super anti British.

[00:39:09]

Uh, thanks for your time. And go fuck yourself. Anti British.

[00:39:14]

I don't know. Well, maybe because that was put up around our bicentennial, so we were reliving some of that bullshit back then, by the way, the British kicked our fucking ass in the War of 1812.

[00:39:25]

They went to our state, our our country's capital burned the had dinner in the White House and then burned the fucker down.

[00:39:36]

Which, by the way, I got to tell you something, for all this shit the United States of America gets for what we did for native to Native Americans in slavery and all of that shit, which, you know, admittedly, you can't even it's just it is what it is. It's fucking horrible. The shit that England did. In India, it's just I mean, this just. This is like this is what it's like to be white.

[00:40:02]

Well, here are evil was really evil, but your evil was extra evil.

[00:40:08]

And what kills me is that they're out from underneath. The power of the oppression of England, yet they kept the caste system like, why would you do that? Is it because there's so many people from India right in man? What do you think about that shit? This shouldn't be somebody born into poverty and they have no hope of ever getting out of it the same way if you're born into riches and you can't fucking lose it all by being a fucking idiot.

[00:40:36]

Right. Are they just too many people to try and pull that out? It's kind of like over here, like we all knows it's a Ponzi scheme, but everybody's bought into it. So you've got to keep going with it, right?

[00:40:48]

I don't know. It's fascinates me. And also my one trip to India, I fell in love with the place in the people there. And I saw some of the most amazing things there. And then I also saw some of the most heartbreaking things there.

[00:41:01]

And it's just, you know, their fellow human beings. And if you have any sort of a heart, you don't want to see people suffering.

[00:41:08]

So people from India, right hand man, if you if you were if you were to fix your country.

[00:41:16]

Two things, how would you get rid of the caste system? If that is the solution, because I don't want to be the guy who went there one day for fucking, I was there for about 36 hours. And number two, how would you fix the population problem? Let me know. All right, Middle East, dear Bill, remember the Middle East?

[00:41:39]

Yeah. I'm still listening to hair metal, I'm we're still over there, remember the Middle East, it's this place that's far from us that has little impact on us here in America except when we need to blow them up for defensive reasons. What do you mean they have little impact?

[00:41:59]

They basically still provide the majority of our oil, right? That's our energy, we're still dealing with the fallout of 9/11 and those never ending wars that we had over there. Finally, they did end Afghanistan.

[00:42:16]

Which is not the Middle East, but I'm just saying the never ending wars that we ended up getting involved in over there and we bankrupted the country. Fighting that fuckin war over there. So they have a major impact on us. And also their fellow human beings, and if they're not getting along, that's that's eventually going to affect over here. Funny how we don't talk about that anymore.

[00:42:42]

How come liberals and Democrats don't talk about that anymore? I don't feel like anybody talks about it. I feel like people almost think we've been at war for so long. It just feels like we're not at war. They just approved military budgets and no one says a peep. I don't believe Republicans do either. And I I've been saying this forever. This is why I never vote for Democrat or Republican. And I'm always going with libertarians because they seem to be the only ones going.

[00:43:13]

Corporations own our politicians and are determining our foreign policy. I could you know, I might be wrong, I might be wrong, maybe the Democrats are the only ones not saying anything. Maybe the Republicans are the ones. I will give this up to Trump. He does talk about never ending wars and Afghanistan has ended on his watch, like it or not, liberals. That has happened. Not saying that I like the guy, not saying that he's shown any sort of fucking leadership during this difficult time.

[00:43:46]

My vote right now, the most leadership I've seen during the pandemic is Jerry Seinfeld in what he wrote in The New York Times. That's the first thing that I read about the pandemic that made me stand up straighter and make me feel positive. Anyways, he goes, it's almost like they tell us what to talk about and think about right now.

[00:44:08]

They show us violence every day, probably to normalize it so they can make an excuse.

[00:44:14]

To up the domestic military police and convince us we need more ruling over peace, check out Matt.

[00:44:23]

Tabes book Haitink Prunus pronounced. Tibey. OK, tehy dash e dash, Betty, you didn't capitalize any of it, so I don't know what to stress. It's all about that culture war being propped up by news outlets for money. All right. I love everything you wrote, but I don't like that it was basically aimed at liberals. And that's the problem right now is that all criticism of this country right now is aimed at either Democrats or Republicans and.

[00:45:00]

You got to step outside of all of that. And you just have to you know, it's like looking at the NBA and you have to understand that the NBA has sold its soul to the super team. And even if your team. Wins a championship with the pylon team, you still have to step back and say this isn't good for the league despite your your your team loyalty. And I feel the same way about politics that.

[00:45:28]

We're just we're on a runaway train, we just are on a runaway train and. You know, that Paris agreement where we were actually going to have to look at alternative sources, live a cleaner lifestyle to pull out of that, OK, great, saves us money. But what is the what is the end game if you're saving money and you're destroying the fucking planet, which is what the fuck we're doing, we are doing that. So California passed a law where all the trucks are going to have by 2025 or something, are going to have to be electric like stuff like that needs that needed to happen fucking 30 years ago.

[00:46:04]

We are so far behind. We're like a sixth year senior here. Trying to graduate, but I still because the only thing you can do is just believe in people, I believe that Democrats and Republicans at some point will come together and it just feels good to say it.

[00:46:24]

We got to come together and you know something, what it really is, is we have to, I think, as individuals. We have to be helping out the problems because to put it all on the cops, to put it all on your politicians, to put it all on your military, and then you just get to not deal with it, you know, outsourcing all of those problems.

[00:46:48]

You know, if you don't like what's going on in inner cities, you should get involved in programs that give people a fucking chance.

[00:46:57]

And especially if you if you think that. You know, certain races of people choose to live that way, are prone to violence and all that, go down there and get involved, and then you'll actually meet people and you have a fucking frame of reference instead of some ignorant shit that somebody put in your head when you were a kid.

[00:47:21]

It's one of the great experiences that I've probably the greatest, greatest experience I've had. Getting into show business is traveling this whole country, every state. And then going across Canada and then into Europe, Australia, and went to Asia one time and just just that trip to Asia that one time. What that did, from my perspective on people in everything in a very positive way, you know, it helps.

[00:47:54]

It helps you to sift through all of this, just this fucking evil shit that they're spewing out trying to make us hate each other so. I don't know, and hating people, it's just it's just it's a lot of energy, it's a lot of fucking energy. There's no reason we're out. We're acting like a bunch of goddamn kids here.

[00:48:10]

We literally live. If you see nature not fucked with, we live in Eden. And we've fucked it all up, so it would be great. Can you imagine if we actually turn this bus around and we fix it? I mean, it won't happen in my lifetime, but just to see the bus turn around.

[00:48:30]

And he could go back to, like, being able to drink out of a river, the fact that we just accept the fact that our rivers and everything are all polluted by these fucking goddamn companies. And I always stay open minded, like, how do you keep seven billion people alive? Maybe that, you know, that you need manmade salmon, I'm coming around to that shit, you know. And you see some of these chefs, you know, they can take a foam and you drink it, you feel you just had a steak and cheese sandwich, I don't mind eating like an astronaut in the future.

[00:49:00]

I would just like, you know, clean air and all that stuff for kids, because, you know, we're sitting here selfishly doing all of this shit. We're fucking it up for future generations. All right. I'm. I'm off my fucking stump there. All right.

[00:49:11]

So one last thing. Yeah. In the future, like when you present arguments, like a great way for people to hear, what you're saying is not to say liberals or conservatives, you know, and kind of let go of all of that shit, which is a big ask.

[00:49:27]

I think it's almost like letting go of a fucking religion podcast response, Bill.

[00:49:35]

Oh, I have a feeling that this is just going to be somebody trashing me because they say it sounded to me from your last podcast that you've only read headlines in social media posts, about 17 year old kid who shot three people in Kenosha, but probably haven't watched the video yourself. No, I watched the video. If you've not watched the video, I'd like to hear if your perspective changes after seeing it yourself, it seems clear to me that Kyle Rittenhouse didn't take an assault rifle, as you said, just shoot unarmed, innocent fucking people.

[00:50:08]

It doesn't look to me like he just decides to take matters into his own hands and shoots them.

[00:50:14]

The first guy shot was charging at Kyle and throwing some unknown flaming object in his direction while he was trying to run away.

[00:50:24]

And hear a gunshot directly behind. All right, admittedly, I just I, I watched grainy footage of this shit. But here's here is the thing. Here is the thing about all of this shit, all right, a 17 year old kid should not be walking around with a fucking assault weapon. OK. And then secondly, why people are rioting and all of that stuff like is something else that white people have fucking ignored for hundreds of years, there is is also that now you should not run it somebody you should not fucking, you know, throw a flaming thing at somebody or anything like that.

[00:51:05]

But I do I do not sign off on fucking people. Like, I mean, I have to I would have to watch all of this fucking thing. Look, if somebody comes into your fucking house, I mean, yeah. But if you're outside going down there with a gun to confront people, then then I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But you are right, I haven't watched it. I guess to the level you have doesn't look to me like the first guy shot was charging a cow, throwing some unknown flaming object in his direction.

[00:51:38]

Well, I mean, obviously can't do that. The second guy was shot trying to grab his rifle. As he was being kicked in the face by another protester, the third guy shot was lunging towards him with the pistol in his hand before the first shooting, he can be seen on video running away from a group of people. My question, though, is why is he there?

[00:52:01]

OK, the cops can go down there and handle this shit. Why is he out there? That is my question and he's retreating. Someone behind him fires a gun into the air. Imagine running away from a mob of people hearing a gun shot from behind you, then turning around. OK, here's my question for you.

[00:52:18]

Imagine putting yourself in the perspective of those other people. Because the problem is, is that people just keep putting themselves into the perspective of the white person if they're white or the black person if they're black. The bottom line is you should not be rioting. And the other bottom line is you should not be going out there acting like you just deputized yourself. This is a 17 year old kid. What the fuck is he doing out there in the middle of a fucking riot?

[00:52:42]

There's also that question, isn't there? All right, at this point, he had to choose between using his rifle or getting into a fist fight with an angry mob.

[00:52:52]

Well, you're not addressing why he's out there. After this shooting, he does not flee the scene, he grabs his phone and stays with the victim. However, the mob quickly starts moving in his direction, begins yelling at him, so he runs away to avoid another confrontation. Once again, the mob does not allow him to flee.

[00:53:13]

Yeah, and he also inserted himself into this is the thing that you're ignoring and the second shooting, shooting about a minute later can be seen jogging down the street with a group of people chasing him with someone yelling, get him, get his ass. Yeah. Because he just shot two fucking people. There's also that. OK, what you're acting like is this guy was sitting inside doing his homework. He went out there to confront he went out there with the gun to join it.

[00:53:44]

OK, now, if you don't have any sympathy for people that went out to riot. How do you have sympathy for somebody that went out to confront it who's not a cop? That that is my question. All right, now I'm totally about I. One hundred percent get the self-defense thing you're saying here, but you're not addressing why he went out there. All right, I mean, what about that guy, that same thing, that guy in Florida where the cops are going, don't follow that kid, don't follow that kid.

[00:54:12]

He went out there to have a confrontation. Anyway, within two seconds of tripping, a person tries to kick him in the face while he's on the ground and a second person reaches down, grabs the barrel of his weapon and is shot in the chest. He immediately cites his rifle on a man running towards him with the handgun, the man with the handgun freezes and puts. Puts his hands up first up. For about a second, it appears, cow looks down at his weapon to clear a malfunction, at which point the man with the handgun lunges towards him and is shot in the arm.

[00:54:52]

Now, OK, now imagine you're trying to get away from me. Yeah, I am. I get all of this stuff except why he was there. Why are you there? Why the fuck are you there? That's what I don't get. While someone is screaming for people to stop you, someone sprints up behind you and throws a haymaker at the back of your head. Yet what you're ignoring is that he went down there to confront, he got his confrontation.

[00:55:18]

He then got involved. Like, what would you think would happen if you went down and started shooting people in a mob? What would you think if you went down and faced a mob? You go down there with your gun. To face a fucking riot. And you were against the rioters, like what, put yourself. In that other position, what are you going to do? All right, put yourself in the position of the rioters who've been pulled over for years and years and years for no fucking reason at all other than for being black, and they could literally be driving home from a night course at college and end up dead.

[00:55:57]

And the and the people who do it have never gone to jail. Imagine how angry they are. Imagine if they're showing up and there's yet another white person with the fucking assault weapon walking around, and no one has a fucking problem with that because they're white. Imagine if you're a black guy and you're walking down the street, if you just shot a couple of people who are coming at you and not with your hands up and the cops just go, hey, get out of the way.

[00:56:25]

I mean, if you're going to do this, put yourself in the white dudes position. You have to do that on both sides. OK, now, from what you're saying, if it's if it went down the way you're saying it went down. Then a lot of that, all of that. On paper. Is self-defense, but what I don't understand is why he goes down there. Why does he show up with this fuckin gun? What is he doing?

[00:56:54]

He's not a cop. He's 17 fucking years old. He should be at home. Inside and he should be letting the people whose job it is to stop it, stop it. He doesn't he chooses to go down there, get involved and face the anger of of of hundreds of years of oppression inserts himself into that. And is staying there with a fucking gun. OK, I would think if I went down with a gun to a fucking riot, I'm eventually going to run into somebody with a fucking gun.

[00:57:30]

That's what's going to happen. So, I mean. I look, if that kid was fuckin sitting on his front porch, even trying to defend his house, because if they're going to come and burn down his house, you've got a gun, you got you have every fucking right. But you start walking down the you insert yourself and walk down the fucking street. You're looking for it, isn't he? I don't know, I don't know, and this is nothing to I am not condoning what people do in riots.

[00:58:02]

I think riots are wrong. I don't think that they they help. What people are trying to achieve. On the other side, I definitely believe that people get hired both in those new world order fuckin white peaceful protests. I definitely think that the government hires people to go down there and stir shit up. I've seen plenty of fucking videos where they just leave stacks of bricks, places, you know, acted like they're fucking built. It's like sitting in the middle of the fucking road.

[00:58:37]

This there's all kinds of variables here, so here's the thing, like I have no problem with gun owners, I have no problem with self-defense. I do have a fucking problem when you're a 17 year old kid and you decide to just go down there the same way that fucking asshole down in Florida murdered that kid. He went down. He was looking for a confrontation. He got one and then people died. I don't know, but having said that, I'm sure your version of what happened is what's going to happen because this kid's white and and he will he will get off.

[00:59:08]

I think that that's what's going to happen and that's not going to help things. You know, I don't know if that's just how that's just how I look at it. All right. And in, you know, in defense of what you're saying, I haven't watched it to the level that you have watched it. But I also I'm not going to watch this video. When I do watch it. I'm not going to watch it like this kid didn't have an option to not and be there.

[00:59:36]

All right, I don't know. Let me see something here, I make a total ass of myself. Where? Like where where did this kid live? Where did. Does Kyle. Slowly, slowly, Internet now, of course. I mean, didn't this guy, like, drive from a long way away? The reality is I should be weighing into this shit if I know this little about it, that I mean that is the truth, but I won't if this is another classic example of somebody who did not have to be involved, who was not a fucking cop and went down there with the fucking weapon and then gets themselves inserts themselves into a situation where they now have to defend themselves and then kill fucking a couple, two or three people.

[01:00:33]

It's like and then, well, you know, it was self-defense. It's just like. What the fuck are you doing? You know, I've always equated it to like, you know, I could fucking, you know, walk through Central Park back in the day at three o'clock in the morning dressed like Liberace, singing I'm in the money, waving my money around. And then when somebody comes up to me and starts attacking me, I think, you know, first of all, if I get my fuckin ass beat, the person who did it is still wrong.

[01:00:59]

But there's also an onus on me of like, what is your response? Like, why would you put yourself into that fucking situation? All right, I mean, I don't have time to read all of this. All right, 17 year old shadowed local law enforcement as a cadet. And filled his social media feed post, declaring that blue lives matter. I mean, he has all kinds of shit here that you were fucking. Ignore it, you're ignoring all of this, this type of shit, you're ignoring fucking racism, you're ignoring media hysteria, and what you're doing is you're going to just take this case and you're going to you're going to you're going to fucking act like history.

[01:01:46]

And there's nothing. Up in front of it and you're just going to press play. When these rioters are coming at him in self-defense and you're going to ignore all of that and do it, I just can't sign off on that. All right, I just I can't sign off on that, I can sign off on if this kid stayed home. And some fucking lunatic rioters start coming up his fucking driveway, then all day long, all day long, that's self-defense.

[01:02:15]

But when you fucking go out of your way to go down there and get in and get into it. With people. You know, and then, oh, and then he only checks to the victims, OK, and he put his fucking hands up. Well, what a fucking Boy Scout. I mean, I can't sign off on that. I just. I can't. All right, I mean, I easily in this state that I live in, could could buy a gun for fucking self-defense.

[01:02:41]

And when the riots were going on here, I easily could have gone down to where they were going on and I could have stood there with a fucking gun and been yet another white guy. In front of black people with a fucking gun, not on their side, and I could have gone down there and I could have got into it. And then when they came at me, I guess I could have shot them. I would have been in trouble because I want to had a license to carry, I guess.

[01:03:08]

But you could have watched the video have been like, you know, Bill was just defending himself. It's like Bill didn't need to be there. I didn't need to fucking be there. So. I don't know. I don't know, I have I have empathy for people on both sides, if all of a sudden. Because of the ills of society, you have thrust it into something, but when you go out of your fucking way. As a white person to go down there and confront it, I just that's that's the part that I have a problem with and I don't have a problem with black people protesting.

[01:03:51]

I hate to see the riots because I think it works against them, but, you know. Who am I as a fucking hothead who can't even go through airport security without losing his shit? To sit there and judge somebody that expresses their frustration of oppression that way, and I'm not saying that that that's only added I'm not saying that that's not some piece of shit that just want to go down there and get some free fuckin TVs and shit. There's always opportunists.

[01:04:19]

I'm not saying that either, but I just I just I can't cosign on the. You know, going out of your way to stand in front of people with a gun and then, oh my God, I had to shoot people because I was being attacked.

[01:04:36]

I don't know. I mean, that's that's that's like the fucking chick walking around with the tits hanging out and then says, what are you looking at? I'm looking at your tits. They're hanging out of your shirt. I don't know. All right, Grandpa, help. That's going to start a big debate. But you know something? I do respect your opinion. I do respect your opinion and.

[01:05:02]

You know, and you watched way more of it than I did. I'll just be honest with you, the reason why I don't watch as much of it is because I just find it. So depressing to watch white people and black people acting that way because someone who came from an extremely white background, the life that I have lived.

[01:05:26]

And now seeing way more of it. Then I did when I was a kid, you just really see that there's no reason for any of this, so it becomes overwhelmingly depressing. To see two people that should have been hanging out, having a great time in an unpolluted world are then shooting at each other and then people just literally pick teams due to skin color. Or political ideologies in all of that, and I don't know, I just find I find the whole fucking thing overwhelmingly depressing and.

[01:06:07]

Yeah, that's it, I just that's that's just and I don't I don't want to watch this shit. I don't want to watch Fox News and watch them fucking race baiting. I don't want to watch CNN and watch these fucking assholes deliberately putting out misinformation to hurt the standing president because all they want is their corporate cunt to get in there. It's all just the whole fucking thing is depressing, overwhelmingly depressing. But all right, that's it. OK, Grandpa, help.

[01:06:37]

Hey, Billy. Bootlicker, 33 year old lady here.

[01:06:42]

I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to have a better relationship with my grandpa. I love them, of course, but he's the quiet, stoic type that occasionally adds a hilarious one liner to the conversation that goes back to watching whatever Western movie is on TV. We only see each other on holidays and other families get together. We might have more in common than I realize. We just never had many one on one conversations. I want to know him better, but I don't know where to start.

[01:07:13]

I've known him my whole life and want to get closer to him. My grandpa died a few years ago.

[01:07:20]

My grandma died a few years ago and we were both devastated. Now he's very lonely during the quarantine and I want to be able to call and chat, but I don't know what to say. Thanks for any advice you can give. And, of course, go fuck yourself. I just bring some food over to him. Just call them up one day, ask him if he wants to have lunch. They bring over his favorite sandwich and you guys sit there and you could start by saying, you know.

[01:07:47]

Talk about, you know, the fucking pandemic and ask him what's the closest thing he ever went through in his life that was like this, and then that'll get him talking about the old days. When he talks about the old days, you can ask him more questions. That can lead into what was your first car, you can get to know him better. Then you can talk about yourself, like I've always found that with with older people. If you just take an interest in what their life was and what they went through and you try to relate it to what you're going through, you ask for advice and shit and then there has to be something that activity that he's into, that maybe there's an overlap that you guys could do together and maybe it is just just having lunch with them.

[01:08:30]

Just start, you know. Afterwards, you know, I enjoyed this, maybe it would be cool if I come by every Tuesday or whatever day it is to have lunch with you and just start doing that and maybe next. So you coming over a couple of times a week. But, you know, if you work on it, you can definitely make it happen.

[01:08:48]

Anyway, a number six combo from Jack in the Box in two tacos. All right. Hey, Oberly, bag of bones, I was getting some late night munchies from my go to spot Taco Bell the other night, a other day when I pulled up, the drive thru was closed when I was supposed to be open for another two hours. I search for nearby fast food. By the way, the number six combo from Jack in the Box with the two tacos was my late friend Wayne Previti.

[01:09:18]

Favorite order. Anyways, I searched for a nearby fast food joints and Jack in the Box came up. I've never had Jack in the box before as I was not interested in a one stop shop for all your fast food needs kind of place. Fast food isn't all that great for you to begin with, but a joint that serves every type of food at all hours of the night. Can't be that good, however, after hearing about your friend Wayne and your failed Jack in the Box attempt, I thought I'd give it a shot.

[01:09:48]

Oh, that's cool. So I got the number six combo, which actually does have ketchup on it. I didn't know that because the one I used to get the ultimate cheeseburger and that had no ketchup and two tacos, the tacos were shit. I know it, unfortunately. But for Wayne, I enjoyed them. That cheeseburger, though, was actually pretty fucking good. I will definitely be visiting to give some more items a shot and have another ultimate cheeseburger in the future.

[01:10:18]

Back in the day, the ultimate cheeseburger did not have ketchup on it. Thanks for all the laughs and best wishes for the future.

[01:10:28]

I watched the documentary thread and it was fucking hilarious. I do. Don't go to the fucking Jack in the box. Don't don't start eating those goddamn places. That's why I'm losing friends.

[01:10:39]

Go to the heart, Doctor.

[01:10:40]

See what you've done to yourself, you know, so you can figure it out and they can hook you up. I'm going I got an appointment coming up because that's what it is, because I'm at that age now where all, all of we're all paying for our sins. So everybody I got friends. Now call me up. Doc says I can't drink anymore. Doc says I can't smoke anymore.

[01:10:59]

It's just it's a rap. So like I've said, I've told you guys, you know. Save up some funds and by the way, for everybody who's really going to react, because I know it was a really hot button fucking issue there, that that thing that I read.

[01:11:18]

OK, and about that kid, because that's the other thing, too, is you're watching a kid who just threw his fucking life away. You know, if. It goes down with, you know, he gets convicted like I if you want to be like this guy who wrote in, like I really appreciated the tone of this, like if you want to come at me like a fucking adult, but if you're going to come halib tarde and race traitor and all of that stupid shit the same way, I can't listen to fuckin woak signalmen signallers.

[01:11:50]

However the fuck you say that like I just always want to. All I want on this podcast, I don't give a fuck if you don't agree with me. I respect your opinion and I know that, I don't know, I could be 100 percent wrong on that Kyle Rittenhouse thing. OK, that's just my feeling on it and I'm entitled to it. You don't have to name call. I'm not going to do that because I just don't want to do that shit anymore.

[01:12:08]

I need to talk to adults.

[01:12:10]

All right. That is all that is a podcast. Go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday.

[01:12:18]

See you.