Wndyri Plus subscribers can listen to Morbid early and ad-free. Join WNDYRI Plus in the WNDYRI app or on Apple podcasts. You're listening to a Morbid Network podcast. Hey, weirdos.

I'm Ash. And I'm Elaina.

And this is Morbid.

Listener tales.

That's the new Listener tales song. That's it. It's like the mini morbid song, but it's not better.

It's not better. Oh, you just brought that back up.

I saw somebody... You can download that as I don't know who, I don't know from who, but somebody tagged me in an Insta pic that... It's like a cell phone ringtone. Honestly, that haunt me. I remember that, I feel like. That's a different time in my life.

That's a different time in all of our lives.

People ask me to sing that sometimes. I'm like, I love you so much.

That was from a different era. Yeah.

She was disturbed. Yeah.

Like Taylor Swift has eras, we also have eras. Yeah. She likes to be in her eras, but we leave ours behind. Yeah.

And you know what? We grow. That's a good one to leave in the dust, in my personal opinion. I think I'm hurting a lot of people's feelings right now because people got really emotionally attached to that song.

It's true. And that's the thing. It's fine. That's a great nostalgia bomb of like, yes, that was a wonderful moment in time. We just don't.

We grew from that. I don't know her. We grew out of that.

That was a seed. We are some flowering plant now.

We're like a snap dragon. Yeah. That's what came to me. Yeah. But I said that's what my first thought was, actually, Venus flytrap. But then I was like, I'm not eating flies.

No, I don't want to I don't care that either, to be quite honest.

I think snapdragons.

Oh, smart on your part.

I think they're pretty, aren't they?

They sound pretty.

Oh, they're fucking beautiful. I can't have them because I have cats.

Oh, hell, yeah. That's what we are.

Yes.

Look at us. I was going to say I was the corpse flower, and I only bloom them once every 10 years. You better get here because then I go to sleep. Let me see a corpse flower. But I don't. And also it smells like a rotting corpse.

So that's what I was like, Don't those smell bad?

No, they literally... They get their name because they smell like decomposition.

Oh, mama, they're all so heinous-looking.

And they're huge.

Damn. What the fuck flower is this? Yeah, it's gnarly.

Where do these grow? Yeah, there's only a few around. There's a few around here. Like at places. For real? I shouldn't say few. There's like, really, you have to travel to see one. They have them at a place. But around here? There is. I don't know where, though, but I wanted to see it the last time, and I didn't get to. I would like to see it this time.

I want to see I don't want to smell it.

Yeah. I want to smell it. I want to see if it's the same. Good for you.

How far away can you... You can smell one half a mile away.

It's gnarly.

I'm wearing a mask.

I'm excited about it. That's going to be our next. I don't know when the next one is booming.

Wow. And they bloom only for 24 to 36 hours.

Oh, yeah. You have to get like, it's a big deal. That's why it's so amazing to see because it's just this thing. Corpseflower near me. I just suddenly were like, Corpseflower near me.

Let Let me find one.

They're usually at botanical gardens, very fancy places.

There's one at the Franklin Zoo. That's a drive. That's a drive.

But you know what?

It's worth it. Yeah.

Take a whole last day trip.

Oh, this was four years ago.

Just kidding. It might still be there, though.

Well, no, it probably died, right?

But I think they re-bloom.

They'd be doing that. You're right. Okay, well, we'll look into this later. Sorry, that was a live look into our place.

That's a live look how we have a conversation. It just trails into, where can we find this thing and go for the whole day?

I'm about to do some steady research after this. Hell, yeah. Wait, one more thing. This one is 4 feet tall.

They're huge. That's what I mean. They're big.

It almost looks like an oversize aloe plant before it grows.

Yeah, it does.

You're right. Yeah. Okay.

I got to get out of here. It's Listener tales, which are- Brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you.

Exactly.

And I had to make that happen. Yeah, of course. We can't go into it without that.

Nay, may, I say.

Happy to serve. The first one that we found just looks iconic.

Oh, yeah. Because Deb, Deb, as we all know, helps us organize the listener tales. I said, Deb, Deb, really put a folder together, and she found the perfect listener tale.

She sure did. It is entitled A priest stole my great grandmother's godmother's grimoire? A priest is in this? A grimoire? I looked really briefly. There's witches.

Witches, of course. If there's a grimoire, there's witches.

What are we doing here? And it's from Sarah, which is a very witch name.

Immediately, I was like, Of course, it's from Sarah.

Come on. Sarah said it's okay to use Sarah's name. Hi, Sarah. Hey. This says, Attached is a... You wrote a long email as well that was very kind, and we appreciated it. It's just very... It seemed like there might have been some personal moments that I just didn't want to... Yeah, we didn't know if we were- We didn't want to assume that you wanted it all on the pod. I'll just read, Attached is a double-space pudipha typed up on my phone, so I hope it comes through okay. It did. It's perfect. With some of the weird tales that string through the generations of women on my maternal side. Approximately 10-minute Indeed. Enjoy. Let's get into this. Growing up, I always heard the stories of premonitions, ghosts, and curses, and they all started with my great grandmother's godmother. I'm already in. I'm so in. In 1906, my great grandmother Alma. Oh, cool name. Was born into a farming family on the outskirts of the city. For Wisconsin, this is the typical story, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, aside from the fact that Alma's mother, Annie, named a very peculiar friend as godmother. That friend, let's call her Jenny, was known to be a witch.

Can I just say you should always name a very peculiar friend as your child's godmother. You should. And that's how you know you're doing it right.

Yeah, don't ever go out of those guidelines. A very peculiar friend. A very peculiar friend. Who you can't actually name. That's what you should do. Now, I'm choosing the name Jenny because I cannot remember what my Nana Dolores, daughter of Alma, told me her name was. Dolor. Curse little me for not writing that shit down. Jenny had been labeled as a witch her whole life since being a small girl when she put a curse on a nasty little brat who was a terror and bully to everyone in school. Iconic behavior.

Jenny's the baddest bitch.

Jenny told the girl that she would experience the pain that she inflicted on others and that it would, quote, unquote, bind her. Oh, my God. Jenny.

Jenny is Sarah from The Craft.

She's everything. Allegedly, that girl was unable to go to the bathroom for three weeks, and when she did find some relief, it was accidental. She had simultaneously become constipated and incontinent at the same time. Whoa. Wow. Damn. And this is with Jenny just going, not saying, I'm going to inflict this pain on you. You're going to receive what you are putting out. Yeah. That's all she said was, You are going to get it And she done.

And she got it back. She done did it.

Now, this was probably the late 1800s. My favorite time. So medicine obviously wasn't what it was now, but doctors could find nothing wrong with the girl. She just couldn't poop. The girl's mom finally went to Jenny and Jenny's mother, begging them to do something about it, pleading for her daughter's health to return as she had started throwing up, too.

Yeah, it's got to come out somehow.

It's coming out. Apparently, Jenny's mom just gave Jenny a look like, Come on, really? Jenny's side got up, placed a hand on the afflicted girl and said, I forgive you. Wow. I got chose.

I was just going to say I did too.

The way my Nana said it, that little girl had to run to the bathroom so fast, she almost created a gust through the room. She dropped us to That she croped herself. There were other youthful Jenny stories, but that one is the most clear in my head. I understand why. Of course. Jenny never went on to have kids of her own. So when her best friend had a daughter, oh, Jenny was smitten. Alma was supposed to learn from Jenny, be taught the ways in order to pass down the tradition. Now, I don't have much that stands out in my memory for stories directly involving Alma, other than the final story of Jenny, which Alma was present for. As magical as Jenny may have been, she was not immune to the effects of time. Jenny was on her deathbed in a hospital, all but gone, not conscious or communicating anymore. When her breathing became a death rattle, they called for the hospital's resident, Holy Man, a priest, to pray over her. The priest was caught off guard, shocked that he had been called into the room when he saw her like he knew she didn't subscribe to his beliefs, at least not in the way he deemed, quote, unquote, right.

He prayed in Latin quickly as he wanted to get out of there. He finished the prayer, and then before he left, noticed the book on her bedside table. No one can have this book, he said, before tossing his jacket over the book as to not touch it and picked it up, ready to leave with it. I can only assume that this book was a book of shadows of sorts, her grumoir, and he took it from her and those who I would have fought that, man. I would fuck that guy up. The moment he turned to leave, Jenny's final breath escaped her body. A sheer black shal was draped across her body while she was laying in bed. The shal was always with her, always worn like a security blanket or a favorite accessory. Oh my God, she's so cool. In that moment of Jenny's final breath, the shell rippled down from Jenny's body, down across her legs and towards the doorway where the priest was before cascading down the floor where it remained motionless. The movement was described as that of a light wind blowing through, but there was no wind, there was no draft, and there was no more Jenny.

My body is simply warming all the way through this.

Imagine your family telling you these tales.

Do you see my goosebumps? This is a tale. This is insane. I'm covered head to toe.

This is such a story.

Oh, my God. I can't get rid of these goosebumps.

We all believe this was the spirit of Jenny making a final attempt to get her book back. Oh, yeah. I like to think she haunted him till the he died for taking what didn't belong to him. I think we were all a little mad at that still. Yeah, of course. I don't blame you. Now onto my Nana Dolores. I absolutely idolize this woman. Even now, thinking of her, I have tears forming in my eyes. I still feel her warmth and love like she's still here. Dolores was a very strong woman, driven, independent, beautiful, and full of love. She was also incredibly gifted in gardening and animal care, always making some solve or medicinal herb blends, bringing animals back from the brink of death, and rescuing rescuing the injured creatures that no one else would consider. I fucking love Dolores. I love Dolores for life.

I love Dolores. I love Jenny. I love Alma.

I remember times of helping her in the garden when we would just stop what we were doing because there was a toad in the way, and we would talk to them until they moved. You guys are the most magical fucking beings. This is practical magic. This is. Or when we would be drinking tea at the kitchen table and a bird would crash into the window, Nana would race outside and hold the little bird, whispering to them and stroking their feathers until they would slowly come out of the stunned state. They would linger after just looking at her as she spoke. She would say, Okay, it's time, and off they would fly.

I'm going to start sobbing right now.

I'm screaming inside. Oh, my gosh. A favorite story of mine is when Dolores was driving the family's old crappy car into town. I think at this time she had her first three babies, no older than toddlers, in the back seat. The car broke down and it was the middle of a downpour, very heavy rain. She got out to see if she could tell what was wrong, but she wasn't exactly a mechanic, and cell phones obviously didn't exist. There There were no houses nearby, and she couldn't leave her babies alone in the car. As she was looking under the hood, a man approached asking what the trouble was. Nana said the man was odd, not scary, but strange. Yet she trusted him fully. He didn't even look at the car but asked, Do you have a Coke bottle in your car? She thought that was a weird question because why would she be driving around with an empty glass bottle? He encouraged her to check. She popped the trunk, and by some miracle, there was a glass Sprite bottle. He instructed her to tap a certain spot on the engine using the bottle and to try starting in the car.

It worked.

The weird random stranger was right. Dolores, not having much herself, was always the giver and insisted on giving the man money for his help. He smiled softily and said, That won't be necessary, but thank you. She turned to reach into her car for some cast, ready to shove it into the kind man's hands. When she turned back, he was gone, and there was no way he could have just vanished into the house because the nearest one was football field's distance away. What the fuck? Something else you need to know about the man is that he did not touch the car once. He did not touch her. He did not touch the bottle. And even though it was a heavy downpour, the man wasn't wet, not even a little. It's almost like he wasn't there at all.

I can't. I can't. The chills will not escape.

These are tales that just need to exist in the world. Yes. These are just, wow.

These are beautiful, beautiful tales.

These are so magical. I'm loving this. I love this tale. Other notable moments surrounding my Nana are the time she predicted what would come to be. When she told everyone a plane was going land in the field next to the house, and it happened because the plane ran out of gas. Little hobby plane. Or when she declared, Mary is in trouble right before the phone rang and it was indeed her daughter Mary crying on the other end in Texas. Or when she always used to tell me, Don't fall in love, which I now take as a warning of my previous abusive relationship.

Oh my gosh.

I'm so sorry you were in an abusive relationship.

I know. I'm sorry, too.

My Nana passed away in January 2019. I'm sorry. As happens with time and passing, she isn't part of a daily conversation or thoughts, even. It happens. Time moves on. And yet there have been occasions when I'll have a random dream of her. I'll see my mom and say, Hey, I had a dream about Nana on Tuesday. And mom will look at me with a serious expression and say, You're kidding. I had a dream of her on Tuesday. This is always out of the blue. It's not like we were just talking about her or something. Maybe she's visiting us in her dreams.

I suddenly just got this overwhelming feeling of like, I'm going to cry right now.

You have tears in your eyes. Ash literally has tears in her eyes. I'm telling you, breaking news. She has tears in her eyes.

Again, again, she's crying. I don't know. I'm just like, It's beautiful. I'm like, I miss your Nana for you.

I miss Dolores. Like, damn. So I'm not sure what it is we have. I don't know if I even fully buy into it. I do. But I don't have an explanation for these things either. Maybe it's all because of my great grandmother's godmother, or Maybe that just made us all more open to the possibilities. The regular feelings of deja vu and the lost or injured animals that always seem to find me remind me that this might just be the fate of women in my family, and I think I'm okay with that. I hope you enjoyed some of these weird little tales. I'm taking a trip to Boston with my boyfriend next month, and he's taking me on a day trip to Salem. Yes. Because he knows how fascinated I am by the witchy stuff in history. Half of me is hoping I feel something spooky, and the other half of me is hoping a ghosty doesn't follow me home. Anyway, keep it weird, but not so weird that you steal a Book of Shadows from a dying woman's bedside table because, bro, that's just fucked up. But do keep it so weird that when you die, you become a friendly roadside assistant who helps weary travelers.

Absolutely keep it that weird. Sarah. Wow. Those were beautiful in a I can't describe.

I can't even explain. And you told them beautifully.

I could picture all of that in my head.

You have a beautiful way with words. Write something. I was going to say I feel like- Sit down and write if you haven't already.

Yeah, you need to write a book about Dolores and Jenny and Alma, all of them.

Please write a beautiful children's book about the witchy women in your family. Please. Because I would read my kids that book. Sarah, please do it. I encourage you.

That whole story just It gave me such a feeling, a feeling I genuinely can't describe. But in a weird way, I feel like nostalgic for your Nana Dolores and for Jenny. Yes. I'm like, I feel like I knew them.

Me too. That filled me up. Yeah. You filled my cup, Sarah. You really did. I appreciate that.

Wow.

Damn. Damn, Sarah.

Honestly.

That story about Jenny just blew my fucking mind. I'm obsessed with the I don't know if we'll have to have Mikey to tell his story. He needs to tell. Of somebody who 100 % saved his life, I feel like. And it's a Guardian angel. And it's a Guardian angel. After a road incident as well. And it's definitely some type of spirit guide or some Guardian or some something that we can explain. And he will tell you this story, and it's beautiful and amazing. And it reminded me of that.

That's another tale that made me want to cry when Mikey told us that.

So we'll have to have Mikey on for a listen to in her tail and he can... Because you guys, I know you want to probably hear Mikey. Oh, yeah. And you should. He's wonderful. It'd be great. So thank you, Sarah, for that. Wow.

That was great. Okay, I'm going to read the one about cats next because I don't know if you know this about me, but I do love cats. What do you like cats? And if We've recently listened to the old episodes, I used to not like cats, so it's confusing. Oh, shit. Yeah, I guess I claimed once that I hated cats, which I used to. But then we really wanted an animal, and Drew was like, Let's get a cat. And I was like, I've never met a nice cat. And then you- I met three.

You met three nice cats.

And I'm now obsessed.

And I'm not a big cat person. I've always been not really a cat person. Same. But me and Franklin.

Oh, you have a vibe.

We have a bond.

So Franklin- They've turned me around. Franklin will kiss me. If I make He literally like, kiss me. He doesn't like, lick me, but like, he bops his mouth onto my mouth and it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And it's beautiful. Don't make it weird. He did that to Elaina the other day. And I'm not kidding. I'm the only person he does that to.

I was so excited.

He tries to... If anybody even so much as touches him, he's a little cranky and he tries to bite them.

That's why I love him. I think that's why we get along because I think we're both like cranky. A little cranky cats. Just cranky cats together.

I love my cats. But when he tried to kiss you, I was like, That is not your mother. I know. And I was like, Franklin, no. Franklin, we're pros. But I think it's also the witch in us. I think so. But so, yeah, this is about a cat. It's called Listenertale, haunted by Mr. Mayor, the Cat. Mr. Mayor, the Cat. I could say your name. This is from Carson. Says, Hello, weirdos, from the Dark Lagoon, known as the Bridgewater Triangle. Oh, shit. For your reading pleasure, I have provided this excellent double space, size 14 font putipha. Look at you. This story takes about XX minutes to read. I don't...

What's XX? I think maybe you meant to put in a story amount, but you didn't. Oh, that's okay. Like a time, and that's okay.

Xx is not a Roman numeral?

I mean, it is a Roman numeral, but I don't know if that's what they were meaning. That would be big, I think. That would be big time. I think it's 10, isn't it? No, that's V. No.

Hold on. I'm going to Google it.

No, V is five. Sorry, I'm not up on Roman numerals.

It's 20. I was going to say X, I think it's 10.

But we'll find out.

Yeah, it's okay. Anyways, hold It's not to your butts. Before we get into this, here are my accolades for you. Oh, my God. I love you. Are you ready? Okay, good. I've listened to your show since you covered Katherine Knight, and I was instantly like, Holy fucking balls. These humans are hilarious, and this show is so fucking gross. I'm in. Hurrah. On an honest note that I won't even try asking you to skip. Your show has helped me through some very hard times, and I'm so grateful for you both. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. You're beautiful. Now, on to my ghostly tale. I am a fellow Bridgewater Triangle dweller. Hell, yeah. But before I lived in the middle of no cell service, dial up Internet-ass Mountains of Ohio.

Oh, that's where I lived before.

Yes, exactly. Between creepy mountain hitchhikers that I used to pick up in my ill-guided youth, to strange UFO sightings that I noped the fuck away from, to spooky ghosties in my haunted ass Bridgewater Triangle apartments, I have a metric fuck ton of tales I could tell you. But alas, let's not focus on those tales and instead focus on these T-A-I-L-S tales.

I'm obsessed.

As I tell you the sweet story of being haunted by my beloved cat. Oh, I'm going to cry. I know I'm going to cry on this. I'm very weirdly emotional today.

My nephew was just born. Well, I mean, that set us off.

And that set us off. So when my then partner, now spouse... Now spouse. I don't know what happened to be that.

You're my spouse. That was a soul. It was like a villain trans-Atlantic accent. I'm my spouse. You're my spouse.

My then partner, now spouse. Quick sidebar. My spouse refers to be called my cowboy Because as they say, I upgraded from partner, and now I'm your cowboy. Howdy, hey. Stop.

I upgraded from partner.

Now I'm your cowboy.

Howdy, hey. I love you. I love both of you. I love love. This is beautiful. I love love.

But anyways, when my then partner, now cowboy, and I moved into our first apartment, we did what any young queer couple would do and high-tailed it to the animal shelter to adopt a fucking cat. That's what you did. That's exactly. We didn't even have a fucking couch yet, and we were like, Cat, cat, cat. I need a cat. We had a chair for the first three months we lived in our apartment. And also a cat. And a cat. We were determined to find our perfect fur baby who would happily give us cuddles, purrs, and love forevermore. Well, fuck us, because when we laid our eyes upon this scrumpliest, squishiest, angriest cat in the whole fucking place. We were instantly smitten and he was coming home with us. Now, this cat had been through it in his two years of life. He was rescued from a feral cat colony where the A shelter worker said, Other cats were grooming him, bringing him food and taking care of his every need. Therefore, he was deemed by shelter staff Mr. Mayor. He was like, Clean me, bring me food, go get me this. Take care of my every need.

Could you cut my fingernails? He's the Emperor. I love him. While the rest of Mr. Mayor's colony was sent away to be part of the shelter's Barn Cat program, where feral cats who cannot be domesticated are adopted to farmers who need to keep down the vermin population, our beautiful sack of fur was deemed unable to survive on his own and was not eligible. By this, I mean, he was missing two ribs. Oh my God. He was born with legs that were too short and a tail that was too short and therefore had difficulty with balance and also had asthma. Oh my God. But just like that, feral colony of cats, our feral self said, I'm going to take care of this on the chunk.

I'm going to take care of you. I love this.

So began the next three years of our life, which we fully and entirely dedicated to this cat. It took six months to let us pet him, a full year for him to sit with us on the couch. A year and a half before he would sleep on us at night, and two years before he would ever let another human besides my cowboy and me pet him. But with each of his milestones, we slowly learned that we were correct. We had adopted literally the best cat ever. He slowly showed us how silly and sweet he was. When we adopted two other cats, are we the same human?

I was going to say, wow.

Are we the same human? He was instantly in love with them and followed them everywhere. Franklin does not feel the same about his love, Franklin. I was going to say that was not Franklin. Although he was cuddling with Lux yesterday, and I was like, somebody call the local media. Call the authorities. Anyway, our three cats. Oh, my God. I love this so much. Our three cats and we became a fucking tight-knit family. Every person who owns more than one cat was always shocked at how much our cats loved each other. I am. We would always say, Mr. Mayor refused to be anything but loved.

Oh, Mr.

Mayor. By the time he was five, his favorite activities included playing with his siblings by flopping on the ground and bunny kicking in the air as they casually walked by, snuggling with me while making snorting pig sounds, and dragging his open mouth across our arms as we slept, making us wake up with an arm full of nasty slobber. I'm obsessed. It didn't matter to us that this cat couldn't clean his own butt or that he couldn't climb up a cat tower. He was happy as could be with us when he suddenly got very sick and within one day's time had passed away at the nearby emergency vet.

I'm That's so sudden.

I'm so sorry. They said his immune system hadn't been able to fend off whatever kiddy illness he had gotten. That's awful because that's not a long time with a cat at all. We were devastated and brought his body home so that the other cats could sniff him and know what happened. So that they wouldn't have to wonder where their brother went. I'm going to fucking cry right now. Oh my God.

You guys are doing it to us. Oh my God.

When I hear people say that animals don't have emotions, I always talk about how hard my other two cats took the passing of Mr. Mair. I'm going to start sobbing. One of them didn't sleep for three days, and we ended up having to take her to the vet where they said she had depression. The other began to pee outside the litter box and would spend weeks screaming at the door like he was waiting for his brother to come home. As somebody who has had a good amount of loss in my life, nothing has ever caused grief like the grief I felt losing that cat.

Okay, that is so valid. It is. I want you to know that because I have also had loss in my life. I can tell you right now, I have never felt what I felt holding Bayly while she died.

It's a different love.

I will never be able to describe or handle that feeling. I know we got two other dogs, so it's like we opened ourselves up for that eventually in life. But it's like, I'm telling you. I can't even think about it. I'm telling you, and John said the same. We were shocked at how that grief was like nothing I've ever felt.

Because I think in a lot of ways, having an animal is so similar to having a child.

Because they're with you all the People- And they rely on you.

Yeah. It's like losing a child. Yeah.

It's like it's similar. Because that was our first thing. That's your first baby. This first baby that me and John took care of together.

And dogs are so similar to babies. You get up with them in the night. You got to take care of them. We didn't sleep for weeks.

We couldn't take a shower without her crying because she wanted to be with us. You sleep treating them. Sleep treating them. It's wild. And even my kids, one of my kids the other night started to cry because she all of a sudden just missed Buba. Yeah, it's hard. It was just upset about it. It hit hard. It does. That is a very valid thing that you just said.

Absolutely. Everything you went through with this cat, you took so long to bond with Mr. Mayor.

You did so much. You put in the time, you put in the effort. It's a very valid thing to say. I just had to tell you that.

No, it's true. And it's a different bond entirely.

Some people aren't going to get it, and that's whatever. And it's not for them to get. Just know.

I get it. I get it, dude. So suffice It's to say we were all devastated. And so were all of the friends and family who had come to love and watched this little guy's journey of learning he was safe and loved. There were so many people who wanted to say their goodbyes to this cat that we had a Zoom funeral. It was COVID times, and 42 people came to tell their favorite Mr.

Mayor stories. Some people don't have that many people.

For real. As we stood with the iPad by where we had buried him under a flowering tree in the yard. That's beautiful. There he rested for four more years and the wheels of life kept on going until it came time for to move. We'd been renting from my in-law's old house, and they wanted to sell it, so we finally struck out on our own. We began packing and got a real estate agent to help us buy our first home. But as the days went on, something that had never happened for our entire time living in this house started to happen. We were being haunted. Holy shit. My spouse and I would feel like we were constantly being watched. We felt like we were seeing shadow figures constantly out of the corners of our eyes. Things were suddenly flying off shelves and tables. At one point, we were both standing in our living room and watched as all of a sudden a cup on the nearby table flung itself off the table and across the room. Wow, that's a cat. And if that's not a cat.

I was going to say, and we have cat.

And that's a cat. So we were both shitting our breaches, of course, and called up our witchy friend with a quick SOS ghost invasion. They came over the next day and we were like, The house is mad at us for leaving. And they smiled on us and said, It's not the house, it's the land. Like, something in the land doesn't want you to leave. I'm going to sob right now.

I hope you were able to remedy this. I know.

I really hope. Immediately and without warning, my spouse and I both began to cry, like a sobbing crying. Now, I'm a literal sprinkler, so this was no surprise for me. Relatable. A soft breeze on a gentle day can make me cry over the fucking beauty of nature.

Oh, my God. I am your spouse.

And I am you. My spouse? No. This fucker is from Boston and therefore is repressed as fuck. I've only seen them cry maybe four times in our decade long relationship. And here, out of nowhere, was number five.

This was literally John with me. He was like, oh, my God, you're sobbing. It's so true.

We both looked at each other sobbing, and though a great deal of sad boy sobs, said, excuse me, through a great deal of sad boys, sobbed, said in perfect unison. It's Mr.

Mayor.

This cat had never moved in his life and was probably so scared seeing us pack up all his familiar and favorite things into boxes. And in typical cat fashion was letting us know his worry by knocking shit off the table. That That makes so much sense, our Goddess witch of a divine friend replied. I think he wants to know he can come with you, and he wants you to bring something, too, from his grave. Side note, don't worry, weirdos. We did not unbury the cat corpse. We follow Asha's advice in this house of, Don't be so weird, that'.

Honestly, I wouldn't have said a damn thing. I wouldn't.

I was going to be like, You know what? Go get him. ' Yeah, go get him. Go get Mr. Meyer. So don't worry. Immediately after this, we went out to the grave. And what do we find but a little metal bird that must have flown off something nearby hanging from the tree directly over his grave. It had never been there before, but there it was. We took the bird and told our baby boy he's always welcome to come with us, and we would never leave without him. Oh, my God. And oh, wow, this is really getting me. This is so sad. It's so sweet. I know. I'm just picturing my cats now. Oh, God. Jesus.

I was like, Don't picture your cat.

And all of a sudden, poof. No more heavy feeling, no more shit getting knocked over, no more shadowy figures. We moved into our new place with ease and up a small table with a framed picture of Mr. Mare'saw Prince.

We have that for Bumbo.

Yeah. And now the little metal bird. Now we light an incense for him every day and let him know how much we still love him.

You're such good animal people.

You are. Since then, the only hunting that happens from our Mr. Mare is every now and then we'll walk into our bedroom and see our cats cuddling. Oh my God. They can't walk. She's totally full crying. She's full crying. And for just... It's so personal because I'm like, I I have three cats, too.

I know.

And for just a moment, out of the corner of my eyes, I'll see a third Mr. Mare-shaped lump there snuggled in next to them like he always was in life. I love that. I'm sobbing. I love that. I love you and your cats. I love you and your cats. God. Unfortunately, this did not end our scary hunting experiences because the building that we moved into is next door to a graveyard. Across the street from a mortuary, the building I live in has creepy children's laughter on the staircase In the middle of the night.

That's not cute cat, ghost.

I'm not crying now. That's not cute cat, ghost. Shadow figures in the hallways and a ghost girl in the elevator who will scream at you and trap you inside, according to the old man who lives next door.

That's the greatest sentence I've ever heard uttered right there. Wow. According to the old man who lives next door.

And then the follow-up is, So fuck us, I guess. I guess I need to call my badass witch friend again with the SOS, I can't go downstairs without choosing between the ghostly gigglers or a demon woman. Help. But these are stories for another time. Send them in. I hope you enjoyed hearing about my beautiful Mr. Mayor and our happy hunting. If you read this on the podcast, I will probably shit my whole butt off. And then I'll have nothing left to hold when you tell these scary stories. So, whoops. Keep it weird. Carson. Carson. Carson, you fucking ruined me with that story.

You ruined us. And also, again, another great storyteller. Another beautifully told tale. And what beautiful animal people you two are.

Seriously, I'm sobbing out in these streets. You need to read something- Your animals are lucky. Please read something horrific next.

I was going to say, I'm going to find something gnarly.

Please. Oh my God. There's a harboring fugitive story. I don't think that will be good.

I literally just clicked that. All right, let's see.

That whole time, all I could picture was Frankie, Remi, and Luffy.

Oh.

Sobs.

All right, let's see. This one's called The Time My Family Was Harboring a Fugitive.

And there's pictures of a dog. Yeah, there's dogs. Named Mo. Named Mo. I'm obsessed.

Hey, beautiful ladies. I've attached a double space putipha as my weird ass tail. I hope you guys read it because it was fun to write. You two are the spoopiest, creepiest, most beautiful people around. I'm so happy that you two have each other in this life. Oh, wow. That was lovely. That was precious. I found myself listening to the podcast every Every day. It's comforting, relaxing, and overall just downright awesome. I recommend it to everyone that can. Thank you. Keep it weird. Ps, I've also attached some pics, some picky pics of my sweet rescue pup, one from the day I brought him home and the other to show how he's thriving. He is thriving. Oh, wow. And the difference.

I know. He looks so nervous.

He looks so nervous before. Oh, and then he's this very... He's beautiful.

I love his coloring.

You can tell he's so unsure and very nervous and scared. And then the picture now is him fully decked out for his birthday, happy as can be with a giant birthday cake bone in front of him with his name on it. I'm obsessed. So you know what? You're killing it. You're absolutely killing it. Another wonderful animal owner.

I love all the happy animal owners. Right?

Oh, okay. Christ on a crack. Some of my lovely, spoopy ladies. My name is Ellie. I love that name. It's so pretty. And yes, you can use it. Thank you. This will be a long story, although try to shorten it as much as I can. Lots of backstory, though. I'd love to spill my guts and tell you how incredible you two are, but you already know that we have shenanigans to get to. Off we go. I love that. I love you. Let's hop in our way back machine and travel to a time of Farmville, Jersey Shore, and Kate Gosselen being fed up with John's breathing. Oh, my God.

The fact that that's a literal thing. Do you remember the one where she was like, what is your breathing going on?

And didn't she yell at one of the kids for breathing too loud or something like that, too? And I was like, wow. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Calm down.

That show was wild.

The fact With that, I can't even go back there because I could not ever watch that show.

And then wait really quickly. John's Ed Hardy era.

Oh, the Ed Hardy era that everyone went through.

The Jersey shore of it all, too.

It says, I was 17 and a senior in high school, going to school with the same kids since fourth grade. It was a time of aim, chat rooms, and Facebook was a new up and coming site. I can't remember exactly how I meant the antagonist of our story, but I do know it was online. Let's call this guy Tyler. Tyler was from Illinois, and I lived in small, upper-middle-class Pennsylvania town. My family didn't exactly fit the mold of this town, with my single mother working diligently as an RN to raise three kids, what a badass. My mother is an angel, but she's quite naive, and I, being her daughter, am the same. Duh. Let's fast forward to when Tyler showed up to my door. My dumb ass 17-year-old self obviously must have given him my address at some point. So stupid. Let me add here that this could be used as a cautionary tale for kids today. Okay, so at At least he was who he said he was. Nip's help won't be needed at this point. He did it. Oh, man. The original Catfish movie, I watched that recently.

That's a horror film.

It's such a trip to watch now. It is. It is a trip to watch now. And it's scary. It is horrifying. It's scary.

When you watch it, it is horrifying.

Yeah. He didn't have anywhere to stay, and yes, he was planning on staying. So I begged my mom to let him stay with us in our house. She eventually said yes, although I don't think it took too much convincing. I knew that he and his dad had been having problems, so I assumed that's why he wanted to get away from home. I also knew that he had stolen a car before. Base palm to the fucking forehead emoji. Did I mention I was dumb? I thought I love this prick, so I fell for the whole, I'll never do it again. I've learned my lesson, spiel. I was fucking starry-eyed. I have fixed the bad boy. Fucking score. Am I right?

You know what? You were 17. And we've all been there.

We've all been there, the I'm going to fix him phase.

Oh, God. Also the amount of people you think you love before you realize what love truly is. And you're like, Oh, I didn't love that fucker.

And just that fix him phase that we all went through or like some of us went through, I won't blanket you all.

I think most of us, at least.

I definitely went through a giant fix him face and can confirm did not fix him. No. Don't know. Not fucking sure. Did not fix him.

Because you know what? It's not up to anybody else to fix someone else. You got to fix yourself. You got to fix yourself. You can't love yourself, RuPaul says. How in the hell are you going to love somebody else?

Exactly. Speaking of RuPaul, quick little side note just for the parents out there. Have you watched the Tiny Chef show? Rupaul is in it. I love. And also, please watch The Tiny Chef show. The Tiny Chef is so cute. You will be laughing your ass off. It's amazing. My kids thought it was hilarious.

I love it. So go watch that. Let's go. The Tiny Chef is so cute.

So cute. A couple of days of him moping around my poor innocent mom's house. And what's that? A new MySpace message. I'm hunched over our family desktop computer in the corner of our dining room reading this message. It says something like, Good afternoon, Ellie. My name is Officer So-and-so. I'm writing this to let you know that we are looking for Tyler, Liar Liar, Pants on Fire. We have reason to believe he's with you and want you to know if he is. That is considered harboring a fugitive, and your mother could be in serious legal trouble. She and/or you could be arrested. Please call me at blah, blah, blah number. Oh my God. Imagine getting that message.

At 17 years old.

What was my first thought after reading this? Obviously, I ignored the part that said fucking fugitive and instead yelled over my shoulder, Hey, Tyler, come look at this. If I could smack the crap out of my younger self, I was. He was reading the message over my shoulder on our monstrosity of a computer, looking nervous as H-E double hockey sticks. He played it off, though, saying it was probably his dad trying to get him to come home because the message came from a blank profile. Okay, shrug. On with life without another thought. Ignorance is bliss, I guess, but not for long. The next day was Friday. This is where our story gets juicy. Oh, no. He said he wanted to trade his Jeep in for a new truck. This struck me as odd, but I'm 17, okay? I'm dumb and live in a bubble. After school, yes, this stranger, a hem, fugitive, was in our home alone while we were at work in school. Jump scare. Oh my God. I happily rode with him in this car lot to this car lot about 20 minutes away. He, I mean, we, test drove a 90 something Chevy Silverado.

You know the one? The one that your grandpa probably drove? We pulled back into the lot and he went inside. When he came out, he said they told him he couldn't trade his vehicle with an out-of-state license. Did this make sense to me? Nope, sure didn't. But again, I'm dumb. I'm just a little 17-year-old baby who knows nothing about how the world works and believes everything that anyone tells me. We drove back to my house in his hunk of a junk Jeep. That night, he told me he was going back to the car lot tomorrow to, quote, sign papers for the trade. Wait, wait, wait. What happened to the out-of-state license debacle? Tyler said the salesperson called and it was all hunky-dory now. Okay, okay, I believe that. As the loving, caring, and most perfect girlfriend that I was. I asked if he wanted me to go with him. You would have thought that Pennywise jumped out of the closet to scare him when he yelled, No. He said, You probably got stuff to do here. I'll just go. Weird, but okay. What happened the next morning? He pulled into my mom's driveway in grandpa's truck in all its glory.

I went to greet him, and what did I see? Do they always leave the dealer plates on? I don't know. I'm just a baby. Just a baby. I'm just a baby. I do remember asking him about it, and he explained that he would have to go back again to, finish the paperwork and get the new plates. Dude, I thought that's what you were doing today. Whatever. Have I mentioned yet that my sister was in the hospital today ready to deliver my first nephew? I didn't? Well, she was. And we're on our way now in this weird ass truck. The hospital was in another town about an hour away, and we had to take almost all backroads to get there. We were driving up a hill because, this is Western Pennsylvania, when the truck runs out of gas. Another indication that I should have known what was going on. I don't think Carlott's filled the tanks for a test drive here, for any test drives here and there. I call my dad and he leaves the hospital to bring us some gogo juice. The bad feeling I had about stupid old Tyler and this whole situation was getting worse.

We get on the road again and finally join my family at the hospital. After hours in the waiting room, we hear a wretched scream from the delivery room and boom, the first grandbaby in our family was born. My incredible nephew, Nikolai. Nikolai. Welcome, Nikolai.

Also, the fact that the fugitive Tyler was just there for that. He was just there for that. What a great story. What a story. You're like, Hey, my first nephew, a fugitive is there.

A fugitive was there for that. It was around 10:00 PM before we all left. Did I mention that it's my older brother's birthday? I didn't. Well, it is. Oh, my God.

What is happening in your life?

In the excitement of the day, in the new baby, we didn't get to celebrate my brother. My mom asked Tyler and I to stop and pick up a cake on our way home. I quickly ran into the grocery store, and the only cake I could find was a Valentine's themed heartcake. Wow, that's weird.

I know. Today is Valentine's Day, and my nephew was just born.

Heartcake it is. We are all at the tail end of our drive. When I get a call from my mom, I answer, yellow. My mom, in the most serious tone I've ever heard come out of her mouth, where are you? Me joking Oh, we're in Ohio somewhere. My mom, Ellie, where are you? Me, I'm kidding. We're on the highway. Jeez, we're one exit away. Mom, come home right now. Okay. So that was weird, right? I told Tyler about the weird call, and he was strangely silent. We got them to the main intersection in town where you had two options to get to my house, either go straight and take the first right or take a right at the intersection and go around the block that way. We were sitting at the red light for a few long moments in silence, no traffic around, but a set of headlights in the post office parking lot. The post office was ahead of us where we would turn onto my road. All of a sudden, Tyler turned on his right turn signal and turned. That's odd. Why did you go this way? I asked because I wanted to go this way.

What a weirdo, I thought. As we pulled into the driveway, heart-shaped cake resting innocently on the floor, two sets of headlights pulling behind us. I said aloud, Wow, it's pretty late for Tom's friends to be coming over. My My brother was one of the popular kids, and his friends were always coming to pick him up to go to a party here or there. That's what it had to be, right? Wrong. Very wrong. Oh, no. The moment the truck was shifted into the park, about 100 police came out of everywhere. I mean, everywhere. I looked through the windshield and saw the barrels of two shotguns pointing at us. Oh, my God. On the driver's side of the truck was three officers with their handguns pointed at the truck, along with more officers on the passenger side. You poor thing. Cops came out from behind my beloved blue spruce pine tree in the yard, off our patio where they had been hiding and from all sides of the garage. Two men also came from both cop cars behind us. I froze. I was more terrified than I had ever been in my short little 17 years. When people say their lives flash before their eyes, I now know what you mean.

My only thought was, I'm going to jail because of this car stealing little twat. In an instant, the cops ripped open the driver's side door and yanked him to the ground, hitting his head on the corner of the door. Good, I thought, Fuck him up. Whoop, whoop. This bastard ruined my life. I was too afraid to move during this whole ordeal, so I didn't move a single muscle other than my super strong tear ducts. I was bawling in the middle seat of this stupid truck with the driver's door wide open, staring at the red and white frosted cake. Finally, a young cop, probably the newbie, unlucky enough to have to deal with the historical girl, opened the passenger door and she basically said, You can get out now. Through tears that I can only compare to Niagara Falls sourcing from my eyeballs, I asked, Can I bring the cake? Because evidence, man, I don't know. With an unimpressed look and a slight roll of his eyes, he said, Sure. So there I was, standing in my driveway with a morally tainted Valentine's Day birthday cake and 30 police standing around feeling more embarrassed and confused than I'd ever been in my life.

Why aren't I in handcuffs? Shouldn't they be calling me Bonnie and him Clyde? Is this It's a dream? Am I going to get tackled by an NFL linebacker-sized police officer if I head towards the side door of the house? So again, I didn't move until I was told to do so. Tyler was in the back of the police car. That definitely wasn't one of my brother's friends coming to pick him up for a birthday celebration in the woods somewhere. And I was finally told I could go inside. Inside to my safe, quiet home. My mom and brothers were in the kitchen where I set the precious cake on the counter. Without a word, I went to my room.

I need to be alone now.

We didn't speak a word about what happened for years. Years? How? From what I understand, Tyler's dad told the police I didn't know anything. Looking back, I should have listened to the uneasy feeling I had about the whole situation, and I definitely shouldn't have ever let him stay at my house, or, duh, given him my address in the first place. Teenagers are so stupid. I'm sure there's lots of police work that went into this as well, because before police hauled off the turd stain named Tyler, they told me that the US marshals were looking for him. What? The fucking US marshals. What/who did I get involved with? The world may never know.

I need to know.

He did write me several times from jail or maybe prison. He was saying how sorry he was and that he loved me, blah, blah, blah. Eventually, I received a letter addressing another girl. The envelope was addressed to me, but the letter inside said, Dear someone else's name. The letter was asking about their daughter and saying he loved his other girl and would marry her. Wicca, Wicca, Wicca, what? Oh, my God. I was told by a friend in law enforcement that the people monitoring prisoner's mail will sometimes accidentally switch letters when they see inmates writing to multiple women like that.

And that's why they're real ones. That's a real one right there. That is a real one. Let me let you know what's going on.

I was never considering continuing anything with this horrid man child. He was 19, so technically a man, but not really at all. But I wrote Fuck you, across that letter and mailed it back to him in jail/prison. I can't share. My only hope is that the same people were monitoring the mail that day and saw it. I didn't think to look him up online until quite recently, actually. He had many charges, including multiple burglary and burglary attempts. I forget what the others were, but they were all stupid, and it's very scary to think that this guy was in our home, and it was my fault. On the bright side, my younger brother has been a police officer for about eight years and said that the moment he was watching our patio door and saw 30 officers ambush us, mostly Tyler, he knew what he wanted to do when he grew up, crying, laughing, emoji. I hope you read this and your younger listeners remember not to let strangers into your home, and don't be as despicably ignorant as I was. Things could have turned out much, much worse. And that is true. It could have turned out a lot worse.

Thank you, ladies, so much for all your hard work. I love you tons.

You're BFF Ellie. Ellie. It's for me that you and your family didn't talk about for years.

I love that you just walked in. You placed that tainted Valentine's Day cake on the counter and then just wordlessly walked into your room.

And then you just said, I'm going to head out.

You said, I don't think we need to What is it, this? And they said, okay.

You guys just woke up the next morning and went about your lives.

That's a family right there that would be like, We know you're ashamed, so we're not going to talk about it. You don't want to talk about it? We're not going to talk about it. Just moving on. I was like, damn, those are real ones right there. Yeah. Like, damn. Wow. Ellie, what a tale.

That is wild. All right, we have our next listener tale, and I just have to say that I really love the ending of this one.

The ending of this This one, I got to read it ahead of time. It is phenomenal. It's great.

All right, so here it goes. Okay, this one is from Ben, by the way. So it says, Okay, here it goes. Of all my paranormal experiences, I've only had two that were undeniable. Thankfully, both were with another person to verify. My friend Kenny and I had met up for a hangout and sleepover. Whenever we got together, we would usually smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink some beers, and stay up late talking about cryptids, paranormal things, girls, and music. This night was no different. Me, Kenny, and our friend Adam were in a rap group called channel 3 AM.

Amazing. I love that.

Amazing. I'm not sure if we had formed the group at this point in our lives, though. We may have just been rapping together. We were just hanging out.

Maybe we were just rapping together.

Earlier in the night, we had wrapped over some live music my brother Nate and other roommates, Brittany and Ryan, were playing. They were on fire. It was an amazingly fun and creative time. It sounded like explosions in the sky mixed with weird dissonant chanting that came in and out of focus depending on what part of the Sonic wave they were riding. I love that. The music room was in our basement. Everyone was feeling really inspired that night. The run-on sentence of a song we were making lasted a couple hours and was so dynamic and full. I remember Adam saying some things that were so profound. It felt like he was literally possessed by a dead philosopher. After blessing us with his spooky wisdom, Adam walked home and everyone, other than Kenny and I, went to bed. I slept on a twin bed in a small bedroom sandwiched between Ryan's room and a large living room. I had set up Kenny on the ground with a blanket and pillow just because my bed was too small to fit us both. My laptop was sitting open on a coffee table next to my feet by my closet.

As I sat on my bed contemplating if another beer would help me sleep, Kenny turns and asks me if I want to channel an interdimensional being.

What an amazing question to ask.

Right before bed, too. You're just about to go to bed and you're like, On second thought, do you want to channel an interdimensional being? And you're like, Dude, I was going to say that. Yeah, weird. Jinks. I started him blankly where he sat on the floor in the glow of my laptop screen. He said that he'd done it before once using a YouTube video. I laughed but agreed to watch the video with him. You're like, Sure. Sure, why not? There's YouTube's for everything. Outside my room was a long hallway in a bathroom directly in front of the door. My brother's room was directly across from Ryan's at the end of the hall. Britain lived under the living room next to a set of stairs that led to the music room, our porch in the backyard. Although I had responded to Kenny like I was ready to make fun of him for the whole thing, the The truth was I was also scared. As soon as I said yes to allowing my consciousness to channel this being, I gulped like a cartoon mouse about to sneak past a sleeping cat. He navigated to the video that somehow wasn't buried in a corner of the web, or in a corner of the dark web.

It loaded up and started to play what I can only describe as a comfortingly corny brainwash tape. I love that. Strange images started to play on the screen. I remember there were depictions of scared geometry. Sacred. Oh, scared geometry.

Just terrified geometry. The geometry was like, Oh, I'm a terrifying rhombus.

Depictions of sacred geometry, although the terrifying rhombus would be so much better. Temples, maybe the all-seeing eye, that thing. A digitally disguised voice started to speak. The voice explained that the images and sounds would be used to help channel an interdimensional being called a neff into our living space. No.

Don't do that. Don't channel shit into your living space.

Don't bring a neff into your living space. Yeah, I don't know about that. There's already enough people in your living space. Yeah, don't do that. Unless they're going to pay rent, don't bring them.

Yeah, help out with the bill.

Yeah. The voice also explained that the being would dissipate or leave after about an hour. Oh, that's nice. Okay. All right.

All right.

So it's just a quick little visit. Just going to hang out. An hour could be a long time depending on the interdimensional being, though. That's true.

Depending on their disposition.

Yeah, like what's neff about? But the worrying electronic noises behind the video made me feel a bit entranced, but I still looked away and scoffed to show Kenny I still wasn't buying it. You're like, I don't give a shit. I don't know about that.

I don't know about that.

The voice on the video started to get mushier and less pronounced and repeated seemingly random words from earlier on. It seemed like the person who made the video wanted it to appear hokey, like a science fiction movie from the '80s. Love that. The video voice repeated, Enter, enter, enter now, now, now, now, and began to peter off as the electronic humming noises got louder. This is so intense. It really is. Suddenly, the high-pitch humming noise was the I could still hear other than a faint echo in my head of the voice, Enter, enter, enter. Silence filled the room as the video went dark. I turned the light on and was about to say something to crack a joke about the video to lighten the mood when I was abrupty cut off by the door knob thrashing back and forth, door knob being twisted left and right as fast as possible noises. Yeah, there you go. This went on for a good 10 seconds. I would have reacted quicker, but I was just so shocked. When I finally recovered, I ran to the door and flung it open. There was no one outside in in the hallway.

Neth was outside in that hallway.

Yeah, 100 %.

You couldn't perceive Neth. It's not no one.

It's Neth. See, you don't know about Neth. You don't know about Neth. There were no lights on, no sounds, no people. I quietly checked on my roommates, but they were all still asleep in their rooms. There was no possible human way anyone could have twisted the door knob and then hid that fast, even if they had ducked into the bathroom across the hall. Needless to say, I had a very, very hard time sleeping that night. I still feel shaken when I think about it, even though it happened well over a decade ago.

That's because you met Nath.

That's exactly why.

You know you met Nes. You absolutely know you did.

Ben, you have met Nes.

Ben, you perceived Nes. You did. Even for just an hour.

But with all of that being said, Hey, Ruby, Ben has something to ask you. I'm screaming.

We're giving a pause.

Yes, this is a pause.

This is a pause. Hopefully, something Some things are being put into place right now.

Okay. And then Ruby and Ben just got engaged. Happy engagement.

Happy engagement to Ben and Ruby. They are the most beautiful couple I've ever seen. I love you guys. You're art.

That is my favorite ending of a listener tale ever.

This is so cool to be able to do this and know what is happening right now. In the future.

My heart just started racing like I was getting a proposal.

I'm so excited for you guys.

I can't wait to see pictures and- Please send us pictures. Video. And I just love your love. And you guys are the cuteest couple ever.

And everybody, if you're listening to this right now, just raise your glass or raise whatever you got to Ruby and Ben.

To Ruby and Ben. To Ruby and Ben.

I have a very funky-looking coffee right now.

Mine is literally ice coffee water. But she was to Ruby and Ben. And you I got a drink, girls. It's bad luck.

Oh, I got a drink. Hold on. Sorry.

I don't want to drink. I really committed to taking a sip of that coffee ice for you guys. That's from cis. No, but that's okay.

But that's okay. Because Ruby and Ben for life.

Love you guys so much. It was so cool of you to involve us in that. I hope you're sobbing right now, Ruby and Ben.

I hope you have the loveliest, happiest lives together.

Chin-chin. Hell, yeah.

And you know what? Maybe Neth can come to the engagement party.

Please invite Neth to the wedding. Please play that interdimensional demon video at one of the wedding celebrations.

You can just stay for an hour. It'll be fine. Yeah. You know? Exactly. Just play single ladies for him and it'll be great.

Neth loves that dance. I just know it. He knows the whole thing. I know it. Well, guys, with all of that excitement, we hope that you keep listening.

And we hope you- Keep it weird.

But not so weird that you don't get engaged while listening to Listener tales because you should keep it so weird that you always get engaged while listening to Listener tales. Ben and Ruby for life. This is so precious. I love love. Follow Morbid on the WNDYRI app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to episodes early and ad-free by joining WNDYRI Plus in the WNDYRI app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wundery. Com/survey.