The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only, so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up? You call? Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother mean advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

I'm your middle brother, Travis McElroy.

Chattering Bernz I'm Grif. I'm Griffin McElroy.

And it's are you guys in the spirit of spirits?

What do you mean? Are you guys in it? Are you guys feeling these jack and vibes? Baby, what are you feeling?

You don't look right at the full moon or else you'll turn right into a werewolf. Here they come. I think that's how that works. The dead, the dead are coming and they're going. What, they're going to fucking kill us?

Oh, yeah, Manesh fucking skeletons and zombies. And they're going to climb out of their graves and they're going to beat us down, baby.

Can I stop you real quick? Yeah, please. I don't see what this has to do with war with grandpa.

We're we're doing a quick delay on talking about war with grandpa any more than we have already.

Put it back to it, though, right.

We'll file that one in with the Star Wars live show in a folder that is called The McElroy Brothers. Continue to forget to not talk about one film or film franchise for a whole episode because some people don't like that.

Can I say let's go?

Yeah, I want to get back in the spirit of spirits. For how long will we.

Well, I just want to say, OK, we got a friend forwarded us a review.

They call an interview like that where they offer an interview basically with one of the producers of the film.

But I did want to share this one line from this thing.

It said it'll be one of the first family films to go into theaters this fall following the pandemic. Imagine my relief that this fall will be following the pandemic. Yeah, yeah. It's that are right. The fuck in the middle of it. Yeah.

OK, so anyway, the skeleton that has two knives and there's actually did I say one skeleton because there's many skeletons.

I'm trying to get everybody scared. Is this OK? I roll perception to see that we're not doing that we're not doing but but they are coming and they do have knives. And I want everyone to get scared because I feel like it's late September and I'm not even feeling the same. You're not feeling scare and I'm not.

Whoa, whoa. Well, OK. I feel very, very scared about everything but Halloween, OK?

And I have been I've been getting in the mood. Yeah. However, Talma's one might say the bood.

Yeah, one might say that one could say anything. Yeah, I, I have been drinking that hot apple cider that's enjoying a pumpkin spice latte under a warm Afghan blanket. Yeah, and I have just been sitting by the fire and reading Chaucer, just of the scariest in Chaucer.

His classic is classic tales about Canterbury.

And by and by Chaucer. Do you mean to sir, like a werewolf chewing on your bones?

No. I mean, I think the guy from Knight's Tale, I love him.

I've been going to the park and yelling.

Somebody chased me and waiting to get chased in the night time.

Now, I've been chased by a werewolf before and it's not funny. It's not fun or funny.

Well, no, but yours was a real werewolf attack mine for Halloween fun. Just how have you been getting scared and really scared.

I just put up our inflatables. Fuck yeah. Who we give. Give us the give us the rundown baby.

What are we working with in the macaroni front yard. This I don't want. I'm telling you I want to get ducks. But that's fair. That's fair.

I did buy a you know the little kid Sam from Trick or Treat. Yeah. Pumpkinhead boy. Yeah. Oh sure. I got, I got, I got a mask of him. Fuck. Yeah. So that has been on a lot of fun with the kids. Just kind of keep it them on their fucking it.

Yeah.

You want to keep your kids off the iPad, make them have one eye, always on the lookout for Sam to come up again. Yeah.

Now what, what I have done get really intimate is I've been setting up kind of scary, like cardboard cutouts around the house. Mostly they're all Robert De Niro for mom. With Grandpa, there's a guy.

Just stop what's right now you can't talk about it anymore.

That cannot be a shorthand for for comedy. That's fair.

I made chocolate pumpkins with peanut butter in them. Not scary.

Well, why is it be scary? You know, I enjoy I don't like the scary movies. My the scariest movies I like to watch at Halloween. Maybe maybe hocus pocus of them feeling brave.

Hocus-Pocus fucked up. Hocus-Pocus is fucked up.

That cat suffers a fate worse than death. So does the snow. Right. The zombie man for the first five minutes little girl dies.

Yes, five minutes. This is the price of admission.

I think it is the Disney movie isn't it.

Family member. Got to die. Got to die. I've been struggling even with my costume and usually I have that ironed out. And by fucking April. Yeah, but this year it's like what sort of topical?

Like, you know, punch a play on words or funny irreverent thing like can you even do for twenty twenty.

I do want to make an announcement along these lines. We had a press release come out two days ago from Yandi to get if you don't know Yandi.

They have in the past couple of years gotten a little hot water, but with no there they do a sexy fake news costume, OK, and a sexy Handmaid's Tale costume, which was less that one was tough.

Misses the mark a bit.

Yeah. So we're going to miss that one was controversial, but they have announced that they will not not be making a sexy covid again.

So this this one's off the table, huh?

This one. No sexy covid just straight down the middle covid. No, no, no, covid in this one.

Let me just I'm just going to say covid to Coveny. A representative for the company, for you, and he said, quote, I don't think there's anything sexy about it.

Yeah, no problem. There's probably. Yeah, yeah. I'm still trick or treating. That's all I know. I love them. Tiny, Milky Ways, you know what I mean?

Like, now you're actually not going to do that. Well, but I but I love those tiny milky ways. Justin, he has to get them. Where am I supposed to get my tiny milky ways from if he doesn't get on?

Just he turns into a big cartoon.

Wolf, you you've seen that I chased you. You've seen him mask out like the mask. You freaks the fuck out. If he does. I didn't have my tiny milky Ways. Yeah.

Oh, they don't try to give me big Milky Ways chopped up. I go right through that. They call them they call them fun size. But for Travis, they should call them like necessary like medicine size.

Yeah. I don't think there's anything sexy about covid. I agree. I received an email invitation for an event yesterday called Dinner at Danz.

The email was likely not meant for me, as I know there is someone else in my state who has the exact same emails me but with a at Yahoo! Instead at Gmail.

You are, you are the superior.

Dan, I'll say the invitation contained a Zoome link to the event next week. The only other guest on the invitation is Dan and what I assume to be his spouse. I know the invite wasn't meant for me, but it's hard to make new friends these days. No, and I don't want to pass up an opportunity for human contact.

How do I show up at this dinner without making it weird or immediately getting kicked out of the car?

Can't well bring a virtual gift. That's from Lonely in Chicago.

The event is from three to eight p.m. So it's a five hour dinner.

But hey, Wolf, cool. Hang cool.

Hang wouldn't do that even if it was said to me, but not five hours on the phone book watching the other person show for at least Dan you Dan would immediately kick them off the Zune call.

That has to be some.

I wouldn't just be like boop boop boop. No, right. Like there would be someone got hacked. Hello? And you'd be like, hey, don't hang up. I'm friend. You couldn't even, like, worm your way in, you say a gift, but you can't be like, oh, don't kick me out, I've got bruschetta, just it.

You get to watch me eat all this sloppy bruschetta.

Here's here's what you do, OK? Oh, my camera. That's not working, but it is me and your friends ask me anything that only Dan would know.

Oh, fuck. Why is that? No, I don't tell. Fuck, I don't know anything that Dan knows now as something Dan wouldn't know.

I well, I probably know it. Let me prove to you I'm not their partner. You can't do this. Your partner partner you need to sell for from out of town for. You can't you can't do this one.

There's no way to do this one. Good. I do a weekly Zoome hang out with my with my friends here in town. Been doing it since March. It's a very great event for me. Lights up my life. And also last week during the call I was like, oh man, this is too much human contact for me.

The idea of entertaining a stranger is an online conference call. Hitchhiker is just completely non-viable for any living human being.

Could you ask? I have one way it could work. This is one way it could possibly work.

OK, you forwarded it. You forward it to proper Dan Yahud.

And I think the parties at Dan's, are they both seeing what is happening here?

I don't understand what is happening in this question. Dan is the host of the dinner. It's dinner at Tannen's. So Dan sent the invite to question Óscar. So the only other people on the invite are Dan, Dan and Dan spouse.

OK, the other person you send it to the the the correct you you're not Dan the Lonely in Chicago at Yahoo dot com.

Yeah. You send it to them and you're like, hey, I got this. I think it was might have been meant for you.

I got some some of your mail before and this is going to sound a little weird, but would you be willing to ask you.

I could also come along.

There you go. Do you get a plus one? Do you get a plus? Do you get a plus me?

Is that because we have the same name?

So we're kind of the same I, I was technically if you want to get like super and I hate to be this guy, but if you really want I was invited here and said to me so and I'll be your wingman if you're trying to hook up with Dan, I'm just telling you.

Hey, is this a great idea? Let me know if this is a great and profitable idea, because I mentioned using watch me eat bruschetta as a gift.

But would it be cool if there were, like entertainers you could hire for your Zoome hang to just like do some magic or play like a mariachi band or something like that while you while you and your friends played like Jack Box games or whatever, the Fort Griffin, you're a very innovative thinker, but there's no way that doesn't exist.

We're six months into quarantine. You don't think someone thought of I will play music or do magic during your resume call?

Not as a surprise.

I mean, we've had we on this call have had a party with a princess death, that's for sure. We have mostly our children. Let's be clear. Family fun princesses hooked us up with with a delightful princess encounter. Yeah.

And still is like, hey, can we can we call Rapunzel back? And I'm like, oh, I think this is very busy.

But she had such a good time with us. But I, I do like the idea, though, if it's not an entertainer, but rather like just a bon vivant, somebody who like, cool.

Just somebody who's there to keep conversations sparkling, you know what I mean. Just said to you, if there's a lull in it that you just have them sort of that's spice it up a little French.

Michael, Michelle, you know, your your trip to Target reminds me of my trip to Monaco.

Then I admitted that he's not going to make it all about him. Oh, Michelle.

Michelle is going to make it all about the party guests. He's making it special for them.

Yeah, he's he's been fascinated by their tails. Everyone, come listen.

Peter is telling me the most fascinating story. Yeah. Tell me, why did they do one family guy last evening? Oh, gather. Gather round. We're all in the same computer, Michelle.

I don't know how. Susan has the most wonderful Balraj in didn't. You all must hear this, I've secretly asked. Go ahead, Susan, do it.

My wife, I've secretly asked all of you to tell me your heart's darkest desires.

I held them on flash cards in front of me.

I'm going to hold up each desire and I will ask you to guess which of our party guests gathered here tonight is the one with the most perverse, perverse urging.

Also, shall I'd like you to go ahead. Go ahead. Tonight, one of you will be murdered. Why? It's not my thing is not part of this. I'm just warning one of you is just statistically speaking, one of you is going to be murdered tonight. That's that. That's the fucking thing, right?

This is the day that. Oh, my God, this is a billion dollar business. Zoome call. With all your friends, yeah, and a new friend of yours who they don't know, OK, you guys have got to meet my friend Michelle and Michelle gets murdered ten minutes in and then someone the murderer is like sneaking around in the back and leaving clues and everything.

And you got to, like, solve the murder.

Oh, that would be cool if you saw someone get murdered in your Zoome and then you watched the criminal just kind of poke around and bumble around and maybe check out like there Madden Ultimate Team on their Xbox and back, hey, put that down.

That would be the fucking coolest use of me and my eight friends, the only eight friends.

I have watched someone get murdered and then yelled at the screen over and like, stuck.

Don't matter if you tried to make it clear he was in the middle of a Madden game, but then the murderer would have the flash cards.

Now we're back to the perverse desire. No, no, it's all connected to murder. Now has the flash card that you gave Michelle.

So now you have the murderer that someone has the fucking guts to kill this guy. She knows you're you're risking covid and you're here to murder a human being to protect everyone's dark secrets.

How about this close to me? Keep on talking and keep talking. I'm a good guy.

Not fuck that. Watch this. I give him a thumbs down emoji reaction.

That's what got him. I feel like I have. I always say that I don't have any great ideas or stories. I think it's because I waste them turning him into jokes. If I had said everything I said with a different tone of voice, I have a hit film on my hands.

I don't know.

Yeah, I think it's and also, by the way, this is, I understand, similar to the Shutter original host, but that there's no flash cards and nobody named Michelle for you and we're not in it and we're not in it and we're not profiting from it.

We would be in this as the three murderers.

OK, yeah. Michelle is very powerful and knows many martial arts. He's able to defend himself and I'm willing to be the one that Michelle takes out before we can take him out.

That would be cool to just watch two guys fight in and all and one of them die. No.

OK, so here's a here's a guy who was sent in by several people.

Thank you. It's asked by Yahoo! Answers user Robert and Robert has this question.

What would you do if someone offered you blueberries from their wicker basket, but when you looked inside, they were stones instead, would you be mad Hong?

Well, seems abstract and abstract idea, but really close your eyes and OK, I'm imagining, OK, what we say while you're walking down a rural road and why is it got to be rural? Because I don't think people are selling basketful as farmers market asshole. I like a mobile farmers market where somebody is just like, hey, got blueberries here? Well, they can shut off the they shut off the ends of the street there at the farmer's market.

They bought the blueberries.

Now they're walking home from the farmer's market and they're going to give them OK, in my fucking scene, it's a rural countryside that makes more sense.

You're walking down and let's say, let me face cast this person, Teri Hatcher is walking down the road with a wicker basket full of blueberries.

It's not really, Terry, like if you saw Terry Hatch, you'd be like, oh, fuck, is that Teri Hatcher? But this is not this is not Lois Lane.

This is so it's not Teri Hatcher just looks like looks like her.

And she has a shawl. That is covering her and she comes up and says that, how do I know it's Teri Hatcher? It's not. You don't know. This is a blueberry vendor. That's all that you know, because she walks up to you and says, buying my blueberry buy mine balloon. That's hard to say.

Buy mine blueberries for.

They have antioxidants. And then you are like, fuck, yeah, I could use some antioxidants. My blood is rotting and you look inside of it and it's stones and I wouldn't them.

Yeah, I wouldn't buy this one.

How sincere is she in her belief that they're blueberries also weight.

Is she escaping in a hot air balloon? No question. Not yet. Thank you. But that is going to happen at the end.

How serious is she about the issue? Like I got you? Are you fucking serious?

Listen, unless you guys have psychic mind reading abilities, you don't really know firmly how much she believes in her own little game here.

OK, well, then let's play it out. Teri Hatcher, these aren't blueberries.

I'm not Teri Hatcher White.

I thought you were Teri Hatcher and these were blueberries. But you're not Teri Hatcher on the rocks. What's going on? I am. I hadn't Vanilla Sky.

She no longer looks like Teri Hatcher, who she looks like now.

Her face morphs into a mask of pain.

Teri Hatcher can feel that way. You're right.

I feel like if someone walked up to you guys on the street and said, hey, got some blueberries chock a block full of antioxidants, you guys would.

And then you look down and there were stones in the basket, you would do something, but you're really fucking leaving me out. You're really hanging me out to dry, right? I would if it wasn't me, I would actually probably take one from the basket convinced I was wrong with stance and probably attempt to be. That's right.

That is literally what I just got his right. I would not be interested because if a human being walked up to me out of nowhere and offered me any kind of food, I would not be interested.

Yeah, that's fair in these times. I mean, it's just a fit, right? There is like, hey, take some of this food I like. I come from a generation where I was told that people put razor blades in apples and shit, not going to eat your stone blueberries.

I wouldn't even need them to get that far. So all consuming my anxiety.

If I see somebody on the street with a wicker basket and they look at me and they start to raise their hand and get through like, hey, I'm like, God, I assume that basketball thinks I know it could be full of blueberries for all I care. But having to talk to a stranger about their wonderful produce is a little bit more than this guy can handle.

But if they were stones, there's a story there. Are they pretty stones? They are blue. They are all.

I will give this to Teri Hatcher. They are perfectly blueberry sized. And are they blueberry colored? Good question. Um, no. Huh?

They are. They're just like gray. Grayish. Yeah, but they're are they round like blueberries.

I'm saying these things are fucking perfect replicas of blueberries.

And so they're like 3D printed. Yet also this Teri Hatcher would be fucking jacked because this big basket full of stones would be heavy.

I bet I would actually rather take a rock from someone than food. That's good, because then I'm lightening their load, you know what I mean?

Are you going.

What if we take a load off Terry below, take a blue for free?

Because it think about it, it's like we're all carrying around wicker baskets of blueberries shapes and everybody would just take one stone from each other.

We could all share a picture. Ten people, Griffin nine of them are Teri Hatcher and one of them isn't the one that's not has a wicker basket full of stones. And the other nine who are Teri Hatcher don't have any stones. Now, imagine how much easier it would be for non Teri Hatcher if those other nine people also carry some of.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, and that is communism. I'm I I'll be honest, I have I've always wondered what that word means. Yeah, that's it. When nine Teri Hatcher help out one nontariff how to carry their.

Is there a fruit that is more exciting to think about and see a big glistening basket of wet then then you eat one and you're like then blueberries. No.

Yeah, well I would include one I could think of would be all berries, no strawberries. You look at beautiful Raspberry Bay Meats and they have those the little tiny berries inside this little nubbins and you pop one in your mouth like, oh, it's vulgar.

Yeah, it's wrong with you.

It's not sweet. Not delicious. This is good. Strawberries is good.

Blackberries, too much work and figs. Come on. I need to stop. Don't know what figs do.

Yeah. Make people feel fancier about their bacon. Nah. I read this yesterday.

You fucked me up because I eat Fig Newtons like I on Fig Newtons.

I don't know that I've ever eaten a straight up fig and now I definitely won't because there's wasps that pollinate them on the inside. So these dumb ass wasps, they crawl inside the fig. And then if it's a boy fig, which I didn't know that that was a thing, then the WASP dies inside and their eggs come out and the I guess WASP babies are like cool to me to party often.

But then sometimes they'll climb inside of a of the girl fig and they can't pollinate that. And so they just die and the fig turns them into more fig.

So the fig wins in that fucked up.

This is. Are you saying Fig Newtons is WASPs? At some point in the process you're eating a bit of wasp and the wasp is the worst animal.

Huh? Huh. This is it.

I'm going to start calling figs wasp coffins and then we'll see what's coffin Newtons and then we'll see if anybody eats these things.

You know, I actually kind of would rather have a wasp got the coffin at Knewton.

Any other fruit jokes, any other fruit jokes?

Kiwis. Kiwis. What's up with Kiwis? Kiwis. They're furry. What's that about? They're furry.

They could they look they might look like a nut. Like a testicle.

So that's Griffin. That's vulgar apples. Granny Smith. No man my granny is named Donna who's nice.

Get them. Yeah.

So that could be good. That's something bananas. How bananas are pretty. There's a lot to work with.

There isn't that one Kirk Cameron to say.

Oh. However, the shape, Kirky, shape, but that is like what, like a smile? Oh, it's like a gnat looked like a people that you see about your penis.

Looks like a banana. Jesus Christ. Go to a doctor. No, we're all having fun here.

My penis does have a stem, though. Oh, God. Girvan, wait. At what end? Hold on.

Huh? What's the one? It's the end. Right above the candle.

Why didn't you order? And that was you. That was.

I don't think anybody's is confused about what's been a bit of your grapes.

I can do a fun thing with grapes. I put them up to my lips and makes it look like I'm like a buckteeth, like a beaver. But you obviously can't see that at home. I recently moved a lot of mileage out of watermelon. Maybe there's some meat left on the banana roll.

Here's the new rule.

If you're dangling and I try to hand you a whole or kind of a hanger or, you know, they give a listen, if I hand you a stool and you're dangling and you think that's the way I got one more thing to say. You don't give the stool good. You dangle.

Do you think that there was ever like somebody who went to a Gallagher show, no one listening to this has ever heard of Galica?

You would we would have more mileage talking about Frazier or the White House.

Gallagher hit Frazier with a mouth. I recently moved and transferred to a new branch of the company I work for. Aside from the usual adjustments, it's.

Aside from the usual adjustments, it's been a surprisingly smooth transition, however, one fellow employee constantly feels the need to throw fake punches accompanied by sound effects at me every time we run into each other.

Cool fuck. It's a restaurant says happens 20 to 30 times a day. Boy, I'm fine with the horseplay, but after he's finished, he'll stop and look at me directly in the eyes as if he expects me to have a unique reaction every time I've been doing fake grunts. Oh my God. And I pretended to wipe blood off my face a few times, but it's been over a month and I'm running out of steam.

Help me. Daunted in Dayton so we can we can we not make it harder than it has to be? We can happy the twenty twenty one slogan. Just stop making it harder.

It's so hard already. It's so hard already. Virtually every level.

And there's people who have a tremendous amount of power and influence and they're using every inch of it to make it bad.

They don't need our help to make it better with stuff like this. They they simply do not. I know it sounds like a fun little game to me now. OK, here's what you do. I'll solve it for if you want you want you want it fixed, I'll fix it. Just one time in oh, and for this person, forced this person to punch you in the face. Yeah. Huh.

At just when they're about to rear back for a big fake punch out, you lean in real hard and get decked square in the jaw. End of game.

Yeah. End of end of job for that person, I bet. No, you say I'm not going to press job charges, don't need to lose their job. I cannot go to jail. I know I'm not pressing job charges.

It's fine. Just don't pretend I love you. Don't get me wrong.

I love the game. You fucked. You fucked it up.

You fucked it up. You're in it. And now the boss of bosses on our case about it. What have they what have you complain to your boss? And there was a sign that the like hey, no one in particular but stop pretending to punch people.

Well, I think I'll tell you the problem. The problem is it's so very physical. What if you pretend to poison each other?

All right. All right. Or you pretend to die of old age trap bad and fucking hand in hand in on two cocks in the break room.

It's awesome to see. Here's him next time he's taking some fake slings that you don't react, you see sitting there stone faced.

And he's the kind of paused like what what has changed?

And you're going to point to your completely empty wrist and say, I got this force field generator and then you walk away.

That's cool. Game game's over. And then if he's like, what's that you say, like, I can't hear you do an incredibly potent forcefield. And also, I can't breathe through it. This is straight break through it, so but you have to free me. I'm going to pass away now and I don't want to do it in front of you because it's embarrassing to look like a real I heard you poop yourself a real boob, so I'm just going to climb in the dumpster.

So I don't inconvenience anybody around here with my dead body dumpster behind the Applebee's when I die.

I don't want to be a burden. I don't need to go through all that trouble.

But I know you're I know you're referencing the Jodi track propped me up beside the jukebox when I die. Jodi, if he did die this year and I wonder if there was a moment where his loved ones looked around at each other and were like, shit.

So we're not we're not going to I probably forced a hard conversation with Willie Nelson's family when they were like, so is this a living? Will do we really have to roll you up and smoke you?

Grandpa Green calling me Grandpa. I don't want to smoke you, Grandpa. I love you so much. I love you so much, Grandpa. Once you're dust and getting it all up in my lungs.

Oh. Anyway, are we just going to be very tired and tell the episode after the election? I'm not tired, all right?

I'm just I'm just getting warmed up. I just have a cold sore on my lip. It's making it difficult for me to bring some of my choice characters.

You know, Mr. F, the guy who only makes F sounds, I can't even do that character right now because it's called Sarcelles. That sucks. Anyway, you guys do the money zone because my lips are.

Travie, like to do this one, I'm not going to take that from you. Yeah, you do. You like them? OK, here we go, honey. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom. Shopping online is hard. I hate you are my.

Oh, you are my integrated Alpe, yeah. And you say browser bugs, browser extension. Honey, don't don't touch your browser extension.

Tenten Tanta there's the fucking deal. You have this browser coupons.

Yeah. And you say me lots of cash. I got I saved some cash over the weekend with this. That's it.

Maybe not like the most sort of earth shattering endorsement, but I was shopping and I was about to buy a thing that was like 80 bucks and then honey blipped in. Honey was like, oh, hold up, hold up, hold up 60. Thanks, honey.

Oh, thanks for. I literally did nothing to earn that. But you did it for me. Thank you so much. Just go to join Honeycombs Brother. And if you're ever checking out somewhere that has a coupon, it'll get it for you. Find it, put it in and you save money. You can get honey for free today. If you go to join honey dotcom brother do it.

Danto stamps that don't don't there at the post office. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't buy it.

Also at Stamps.com you can get to sixty two percent off and no residential surcharge.

That one doesn't work quite as good, not quite as bad. You can use any computer to print official US postage 24/7 for any letter, any package, any class of mail, anywhere. You want to send that once your mail is ready you just leave it for your mail carrier schedule, pick up or drop it in the mailbox. It's that simple. And what do you what do you want to send Griffin? Oh, what do you want to mail today?

I want to mail a letter.

Oh, no, no, that's fine. That's fine. It might be. Is it an important letter? It's from Justin to Kelly. Oh, OK. Well, let's stamps.com. You get great discounts to five cents of every stamp and up to sixty two percent off USPS and UPS shipping rates. Right now our listeners get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long term commitment. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and join and type in my brother.

All one word but stamps.com enter my brother. All one word.

It's Oh sorry. Do you want to do one for blue apron.

I love to eat and there's no better way to eat than food that you made yourself.

Uh. I mean, for instance, yes, last week, this previous week, enjoyed a sort of a ground beef with noodles and it sounded better when they put all the adjectives in there. I know I'm kind of making it sound like Chef Boyardee, but his blue apron and I made it myself.

Was it blue apron, steamy ground beef noodles? Oh, I love those.

That's my favorite, Justin, that I have some kind of sauce with it.

Or is it just dried, even dry noodles sometimes. It's Romanesco. Love that song.

Jimmy Cherry can't get enough good that come with any song. Charleson That I have a bit of vegetable with it. Some.

Oh there's always the vegetable which I love. I love that because I like to have a balanced balanced meal in September this month I've enjoyed so many delicious recipes.

Turkey burgers. Oh my God. I just remember turkey burgers with lemongrass and ginger in them.

Are you kidding me? Shut up and you can make it easily with just a few simple kitchen tools. You see pictures right there on the box and a recipe with photos.

You know exactly what you're doing if you want to start cooking for yourself more. If you're tired of the carry out options around you and you want to try something different, this is the place to start with.

Blue apron this fall. Don't settle for saneness. Change things up with plebeians variety of deliciousness and make recipes.

Check out this week's menu and get thirty dollars off across your first two deliveries. When you visit blue apron dot com slash my brother. That's Blue apron dot com slash. My brother also blueprinted. Dotcom does still work right.

Apron dun dun dun dun dun dun. They give you food. Dun dun dun dun dun. Oh that was Lady Gaga.

Cook yourself.

Hello there girls and gals. It is I April Wolf. I'm here to take you through the twisty, scary, heart pounding world of genre cinema on the exhilarating program known as Switchblade Sisters. The concept is simple. I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film. Listen closely to hear past guests like The Babadook director Jennifer Kent, Winter's Bone director Debra Granik and so many others. Every Thursday on Maximum Bunnag tuned in.

If you did, it's actually a very thought-Provoking show that deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process, while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze.

So like you should listen, Switchblade Sisters that did it, that I did it. My song wasn't done. It was dead did it and I did it, did it all.

La la la la la la la la la la la la. I want a mile wide. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. I want to mine.

Why should I sing? You might need to have a word with your guitarist.

He's, he's kind of riffing a little, they're stealing a little attention in the different.

He's in a different tuning he's doing trying to focus on that. Nick Drake is in the Drake Open DB beautiful drop de tuning.

So listen, I got to ask you, like just brief stories I want to share. This is nice. Yeah, just some brief stories.

Tim Horton's is giving away Pumpkin's with beverage orders.

If you're at a Tim Horton's in the US and you buy pumpkin spice beverage through the Tim Hortons app, when you go and pick it up, they're going to give you a pumpkin whether you want one or not, no matter what you do, if you get a pumpkin spice latte, a pumpkin spice, ice cap, whatever, they don't care.

They're going to put a pumpkin in your car.

If you try to leave it in the restaurant, they will chase you through the parking lot with the pumpkin. Say, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Your pumpkin, they will find you if you go through the drive thru and don't stop to get your pumpkin. When you get home, you're going to open the back door and there's the pumpkin and pumpkin in the fire.

But then later tonight, when you go to bed, you're going to pull back the covers and there's the pumpkin brand new hole.

Once again, you're going to make it you're going to make a wish in. The pumpkin is going to rot before your very eyes in a matter of seconds.

But be careful what you wish for because the pumpkin is very literal. Yeah. Next story from Joseph requires a little bit of cultural education, do you know what Kraft, Mac and Cheese is called in Canada? No. Kraft dinner. Thank you, Travis. Pumpkin Spice Cady's come to Canada this fall. That's not my acronym, it's theirs and one of the more unlikely partnerships of 20 20 craft dinners announced they're unveiling Pumpkin Spice Kadeem.

What's the partnership craft and pumpkins crafted pumpkins hitting shelves in Canada this October.

Pumpkin Spice CD is made with the same classic CD cheese powder Canadians Know and Love, as well as the addition of fall flavors, including hints of cinnamon, nutmeg, all spice and ginger ale.

While some may feel the combination is not something they're interested in trying, others are, as Canadians have already begun signing up to try the new concoction.

You have to sign up yet. OK, Joseph, who sent this in to the Munch squad tip line, said the cowards are only making a thousand boxes of the stuff or someone from the company was on the radio saying they have a wait list, over 10000 people waiting to try it.

So I don't I don't know. People are dying for it.

Here's the quote. KDDI is always been heard for one of its kind, one of a kind cheesy taste.

And after years of watching Canadians get excited for pumpkin spice season, we felt that it was time to combine these two iconic flavors and create pumpkin spice cake day with time to cash in, cash in on the CD.

This this is good.

Canadians have always made KDDI their own way, and not many people would expect Cady's to be part of the conversation.

But that's the whole point. Why all we want? You hurt me. That's the whole point, because it's so wild. Only a thousand will be made to move over lattes and muffins. CD is the new must try flavor this fall.

This is vulgar. Maybe he will buy a box of it and they'll sell it on eBay for a lot of money. And then that song ever had a million dollars, we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner, but we would finally be able to eat dinner that season with the spice. So this next story is what a lot of people sit in, and I just wanted to do it, so it stopped getting emails about it. Red Lobster and PepsiCo have kicked off a new relationship with the Duke area, the first Mountain Dew cocktail.

Why is Red Lobster the one? Why wouldn't Red Lobster be the one?

Because Red Lobster and Pepsi have been dancing around each other for a while now and we're all thinking it time to just get to it and get to fuckin by which I mean create a Mountain Dew based cocktail that goes with any lobster based dish.

OK, I this is the first I sorry, I should be clear, this is the first official cocktail.

See, because I know at least for example, the first time I ever got drunk was on a cocktail I created, made a pop of vodka and Mountain Dew Code Red. So that might have been that was never adopted officially by the company Juice.

You called it fucking landfill baby.

You can call it Code Red Square. That's actually not bad. Red Lobster and PepsiCo are teaming to create exciting new ways to enjoy great seafood, a long way to bring that yourself to the Red Lobster with the great taste of variety of PepsiCo products.

The deal will leverage their iconic food and beverage brands to create a variety of capable new menu items, starting with the degree to the first Mountain Dew cocktail. God help me, friends. If you wake up in the morning craving a to go back to bed.

Try again tomorrow. Want something better? Not better. Bigger than the degree that pairs perfectly with Red Lobster's iconic cheddar, Bay City official told my friends.

It's a new official hoarder's degreed. Hey, I previs representative for Red Lobster for twenty twenty one this year. We just skipped all the trouble we. So to generate biscuits in the degree to you, just pick yourself up a soaking wet biscuit cause the whole thing down. Get the job done. Right.

If I was standing in an infinite warehouse with infinite typewriters man by infinite monkeys and I stood up front, I gave the OK you silly guys, what a beverage, what liquid, potable, liquid on earth would you pair with Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay biscuits.

Never never would be like Oh. I'm thinking the alcohol, so maybe a margarita, but instead of like the regular margarita stuff, a Mountain Dew mixed in there because that will contrast the notes of Cheddar and Bay and Biscuit.

It's fast coutry, it's what we call it made using a top secret recipe, this refreshingly fun.

I guess will begin rolling out to select Red Lobster restaurants in September and will be available nationwide by the end of twenty twenty, which is sounds more like a threat. The Red Lobster and PepsiCo innovation teams are quickly working together to leverage iconic PepsiCo brands across the Frito-Lay and Quaker range of products to create a tasty menu. Items look forward to Wilford Brimley, Quaker Oats Square's old fashions.

I like how you've dusted the rim. A free cosmopolitan that's a cosmopolitan, maybe afraid as if you guys have any others from the Frito-Lay family of products, please let me know. Free Cosmopolitan, that's a Frido Cosmopolitan. Sorry, you guys are wagging out. I'm not here.

Margaret Kirito. What's that? Oh, Mark Torito, OK, that's fine.

We've actually already done a margarita one Red Lobster guests will also be able to enjoy a broad range of beverages over broad range of beverages from PepsiCo, including Pepsi, Mountain Dew.

And stubborn craft soda, as well as bubbly sparkling water like water, Tropicana and noncarbonated options like lemonade and aqua Fresca.

Hey, so you're just saying that you'll still have some what they said this paragraph is that it's allowed gonna be the only. Don't you worry. If you choose to take the coward's way out, you don't have the day drink to do Garena sucking red lobsters.

The coward. If you're going to introduce a Doug Arena into your fucking lineup, make it mandatory. Damn it.

Hey, man, if you don't drink the dude, then you don't drink Red Lobster.

There's people out there who don't drink alcohol. There's people out there who don't drink Mountain Dew. And neither of those people are welcome at Red Lobster for the next couple of months.

So pull up to the trough, get yourself a drink. And over here, we just got a big pile of cheddar bay biscuits.

You are in.

You got to if you are willingly eating inside of a Red Lobster currently, you should be forced to drink a degree. That should be good. That's good, because it'll kill all the germs in your body. Red Lobster and PepsiCo, we found the vaccine.

But the bad news is it's it's do great. Save them. But at what cost?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Gosh, let me think about it. Red Lobster and PepsiCo both understand how much food and beverages enhance memorable moments from casual gathering during covid when we went and drank fucking degrees and got covid there, that was so weird.

But casually, Kassovitz, like, doesn't even count. With both our brands on deck to wow guests, we can't wait to dream up more phenomenal flavor pairings together to bring in some very special offerings and experiences to the table.

Red Red Lobster and PepsiCo also share a common passion for sustainability. Create sustainability, everything of the human race sensibly aiming to create a more environmentally friendly experiences for guests. Both companies are partners with the Ocean Conservancy and Trash Free Seas Alliance Trash Free Seas, trash for Red Lobster. That's my motto. We do it.

Every time we harvest a Mountain Dew, we plant two more.

Don't worry about any trash that we find in your oceans. We just bring straight in the restaurant, find out a way to make good margarita. Their relationship will leverage the goals of both companies to incorporate more sustainable packaging and distribution techniques in the future. I want my degree to add a little plastic pouch like they used put milk in an elementary school.

That was a jab with a straw.

That's how I want to just get big cut. Just put just get rid of the water in the tank with the lobsters in it that you pick, which one you want to eat and fill that would do Garita and then whatever you scoop out of there with two hands and put the lobsters back, lobsters back, they want to listen.

And also because we can't have water in this building at all or else people are going to be tempted to drink.

It is not a drop, not a drop.

Now, let me tell you, boys, I'm a simple man and I enjoy the simple pleasures. I've enjoyed shrimp, the red, the endless shrimp is one of life's great joys as far as I'm concerned. I've enjoyed a Red Lobster before.

My first first restaurant ever took Charlie to my first daughter was was at the shrimp vortex of English.

It's true. I attempted to consume one hundred. I think I made it to eighty five. It was the worst day of my life.

It was not great, but I enjoy watching my babies. It sure or this is not the year of our Lord. Twenty, twenty and perhaps any other time in existence would I be tempted to attend a feast at Red Lobster and indulge perhaps in a drug to.

Why are you taking a shot of a biscuit? Because I'm a classic boy who classic classy boy.

Tell what.

That's fine. You were just you were just speaking like an old English bard. Yep.

Character that character went for went so hard in the paint for so long.

Like any boy there is a it's so it's such a thin sliver that people are listening like this is your reference.

I it just one of those, those fancy lights that you see eating at Red Lobster any other time except now.

But there had to be a point when you were saying all that stuff when you were like, man, I've been doing this, this while voice for a long time and it doesn't make much sense, but I can't possibly stop now.

Can I tell you what we are, Griffin? Yeah, I didn't notice you didn't notice so much doing the voices the voice was doing me.

Wow. Yeah. Like I just blame the classic classy boy. Yeah. And like, I, I don't know what to tell you. I feel like the voice did all of us can. I recently made Chinaberry Biscuits at home. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Is that OK. I did that and I did that in cooking class. In high school. It was. Yeah they're easy.

I go I wonder can I guys some. Yeah. We're talking about if we weren't in I don't there's actually a year of our Lord 2020.

Yeah, I ordered on eBay, I ordered there's this new smart food popcorn that has Cap'n Crunch berries in it.

OK, and I really want to I really wanted to try it because Dan, my co-host of my serial podcast, The Empty Bowl, he had tried it. So I wanted to try it because I try everything that Dan tries to back home trying to jump off a bridge.

Would you jump off a bridge? I mean, if you needed to rescue or something, it's bridge thirt I couldn't find them in stores because I don't really go to stores looking for popcorn, so I got some off eBay for three bags.

I got some off eBay and they were shipped to my home and when I opened them there was and I just wanted to say there was a envelope and I opened the envelope and there was a handwritten thank you note inside that said, thank you for buying this popcorn.

I hope you find it delicious. And it inside.

There are four baseball cards that I fucking love. eBay bonuses. Yeah, just here's a here's one thing I always do is baseball cards.

So there's four baseball caps then. That's awesome. I'm yeah. I just I was a nice little story. I wanted to share a little bright spot. All right. Yeah.

I got I got the bottle caps and a toy that I found, I bought a toy and it came with bottle caps and that's cool. Yeah. You can do a lot with those. Turn them into pens or. Yeah. Yeah.

See I like them filling them. They kind of put them between your your thumb and you filling them.

Can I do a quick Yahoo please. I love that it's a synonym I am.

I can't think Sametz Yahoo answers user drishti asks Hey guys, can somebody suggest me names for some grand mansion like Thornhill of of Riverdale. Thanks. I'm now realizing that this is. The name of a building or a state from the TV show Riverdale, and that there's not a place in the earth called Thornhill of Riverdale, or is there? Yeah, you don't know.

That could be the thing that I love about this at some point.

All like there are some fancy ass houses out there, you guys with these fancy ass names. At some point, if you have a mansion called Thornhill, it didn't come with that. Like somebody built this house and said, my house gets a name now. And I like that. I think we should do that more.

I have I have a name for my house, OK?

I have a name for my house. I'm not going to dox myself.

Well, what's the White House? It wasn't registered anywhere. Justin, you can. OK, so you said you can name your house, it doesn't ever matter. You can always name your house. You should name me every name in the house. Right now, you don't live at an address. You live at an estate. Just name your site. It just just about naming it. You can do whatever you want. Let's just come up with some good like Riverdale Feather Tail.

Are we just going to rhyme things with Riverdale because we could do that all day. Heather Taling Stratford-Upon-Avon leather. Heather Weil who. Thistle Thistle Claw.

Hey, are we doing where your cat names. Justin, if you're Justin, if you're looking at a list of where you're legal, you have to tell us, are you saying the same thing, Grace Gray stripe of Huntington, that I think what you should do, you should have more fun with it than that because you could do an old stuffy name.

Right.

But you could also call it like party town. Right. Or just like you could just like termite damage, you know, like have a fun day.

No, it's got to be a compound word.

It does. OK, how about Batman? Batman, this is Batman the house. It's pretty moody in there.

I've no theme whatsoever. On the outside are the inside. This is my house, Batman.

It just has Batman energy, big back and energy. Just when I see it, I think Batman I see you know what sucks is a really cool name for a house is Brookstone, but that's already taken off IKEA.

Let me be straight with you. I'm having trouble focusing on this question because I was just thinking about Riverdale and how I used to watch that show, but then I quit watching it.

There was a there was an episode during this story arc where there is a murderer who is murdering people and in the town of Riverdale and like, killed a couple people.

And Archie got pretty good about that.

Oh, they're going to say Archie got killed, which would have been a really brave move. No, but what Archie did, because he didn't like that they're people getting murdered because he got a bunch of his friends and they put on red masks and were shirtless in his garage and they filmed themselves. And Archie was basically like. Hey, serial killer, if you don't stop, we are going to kill you, and I was like, I think I might be done watching this.

That's the wildest thing for a person to ever do that.

I don't think I can hang with this show's energy anymore. What is good, Griffin?

What is your criteria for watching a show then? Because that for me is where I am now for the first time, interested in watching Riverdale.

Apparently it's got real magic in it now. And I don't that's a good idea.

I want to I want to do magic. Exciting. I want a teen boy zanti murder club who goes out. And if there's people doing killing, we do killing on them first.

Well, it sounds like at least they give a warning and serial killers don't see that anywhere clearly shirtless. So you can see that our football bodies could hurt your body. Kill a person.

Yeah, unless the killer person, I don't know, maybe is more in shape or has more friends than our team. But that's not possible.

Archie has a lot of friends, very popular. Jug jug head alone could take down a murderer or two. Do you think. Did it. You didn't finish watching it. But do you think it turned out that Jughead was the murderer?

Is the murderer. Yeah. Murdering for hamburger money, I assume. I haven't watched the show, but I've read the comics.

The podcast is over, OK. Thanks for listening to my brother, my brother Maynard. I didn't know we could just do that. Yeah, I can do it.

I actually have the power. OK, next time, do it. 15 minutes in. No, we have to do enough comedy to keep this nation afloat.

That's a lot of pressure on us. Yeah. Don't be afraid. Embrace the challenge. OK, do you guys want to say.

I do. I have a couple in closing. I have a couple of things. First, there's going to be some really great new merch out this week over at Macaron, Match.com. We're bringing back the pin of the month and this month we're doing a tiger on the table pin of the month designed by Sam Schulz. And the proceeds for that are going to go to benefit the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, which defends and protects the human rights of black, transgender and gender nonconforming people.

And the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, which works to guarantee that all people are free to determine their gender identity and expression. Also, Imakura Match.com Candlelights Ornaments by Doyel Candlelights Wrapping Paper by Justin Gray. A new jump scare pen. That is very cute.

You can check that out.

So can we have a book coming out that is all about how to podcast, how to make it podcast that you are proud of called Everybody Has a podcast except you. It's available for preorder. Now, if you go to the McQuoid podcast book dot com, you can preorder in all sorts of forms, including an audio book. So go there. MacAvoy podcast, Bookham. That's going to come out in January. And one more thing. We're doing some panel, some stuff with New York Comic-Con, all, you know, digitally, not in person because we are responsible.

There is a Tazz graphic novel. First Look panel, Thursday the 8th, there's a free podcast, Q&A panel, Sunday the 11th. There's a workshop, which is a ticketed event, Sunday the 11th. And you can get all the information and ticket links and everything a bit. Alewife McElroy's NYC Twenty Twenty and the M, the E and the NYC C are capitalized.

Hey, thanks to John Roderick and Long Winter for the use for our theme song. It's a departure off the album, Putting the Days to Bed. It's very good and the song is getting. The album is good and thanks to maximum fun for having us on the network. Go to maximum fun outdoor. Check out all the great shows, their shows like Minority Corner and Story Break and a whole lot more maximum fun big. Y'all want that final.

Oh, oh yeah. One more thing.

Just a little thing. Yeah. Tyreese and I are doing a little watch along kind of podcast thing for Great British Bake Off. We're posting the episodes up on our YouTube YouTube channel, the macro family YouTube channel. It's called Back On. It's a video. Well, it's got a static image with audio on it. OK, yeah. So you can go and listen on YouTube. It's really cute and funny.

Hey, here comes up, man. I was going to read this final, but then like when you're looking at Yahoo! Answers, there's like stories that appear on top, like little news stories. And I don't know, one of them is even better than any final Yahoo I could do, because the headline of this story is Dennis Quaid is over canceled culture.

OK, think I stepped back on Travis.

My name is Griffin McElroy. This is my brother. My brother. Make sure to square our lives. Maximum fun dog comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.