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The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed, Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only.


So the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? You're coming back.


All right. We've got those and we're going to give advice and your. Laughter It is a common sight and say it's time to start, it's. Travie, I don't know that I have questions, I had emailed them to Christina, but I can email them again. I was just going to say I'm sorry. No, that's all right. No, I didn't have ads in it. Right.


No, OK. You can just save a little time to just I fucked up, wow, I fucked up.


And I didn't anticipate your incompetence and that was my fault.


No, no, no, it's not my comments because, you know, you do definitely fuck this up.


I know I fucked up because I forgot the both of you don't know how to search in your email.


That's fine. Then the ads aren't you didn't put the ads in, so you did. Oh, right. Right.


I fucked up by not spoon feeding you the ads like that. I'm glad we decided to start doing these, Koldo, but I feel I get lends a real air of excitement and intimacy to the program.


Hello everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me. And advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.


I'm your Middle East brother, Travis McElroy, and I'm a dog. My my name is Griffin McCrohan. I'm the youngest brother.


I have the intro. That's what I'm trying to tell you. That was that was a completely separate thing. Yeah. I simply am a dog.


That's consistency, Justin, with that. And we got to respect that.


Look, completely different thing in normally my my kind of behavior gets a little bit longer, but it's because I have an important presentation. Hope for you guys. And I, I appreciate you taking this time to hear their presentation and we're out of our hands now.


I think, Travis, I need to sink sink up into the Google Buzz. Thank you. Reading room that you've set up here and I know.


OK, well, hold on. I got to download flash update in order to see the slides.


OK, these slides as I supposed to do slides. Oh, then what am I up virus. So here's the thing.


I think I'll leave a space here for you guys to answer why. What is so hot right now? Breakfast, fast food breakfast, and I'm that game.


That's right, cryptocurrency, and so I have been thinking that now here at the very start of the very idea of cryptocurrency that their macros should get in on the ground floor. And that is why I have created Mackle bucks. Macko bucks. Finally, how much is it trap? What. Give me a number. Just give me a number. Don't give me this. Let me tell you, that is point one of two points that separate Mackle bucks from all of the cryptocurrency.


One Macko bucks will always equal one dollar. So be one MacCulloch to one dollar all the time. It will want change.


And two it is paper currency.


Oh so it's just like, it's just like you just call them bucks. Then they looked. Do they look different. They look slightly different. How slight. Because there are pictures on to dollar bills that is noticeable enough.


I feel like we're not going to get we're not going to get dinged.


It's different and they are where I actually they're back. They're worth one dollar and one cent because of the paper that I have taped onto there.


So each MacBook, if you can trade if you can trade one regular dollar with a MacBook with a friend, you have made a penny.


OK, I think you've actually lost a penny in that exchange. Someone has someone to think we can agree on. The penny has been abandoned.


I said I'm looking at there's a Udemy course twelve ninety nine to learn how to make your own cryptocurrency just like bitcoin is what it says.


Actually it says right here create your own cryptocurrency just like bitcoin.


So it's totally not going to be a sunk cost into this.


And does that need to be amortized into the cryptocurrency, the twelve ninety nine. I'm going to need to split to say nothing of the time.


I mean obviously. Are you just talking about like funding macrobiotics?


I'm saying there's a sunk cost. Well box of twelve ninety nine.


I Xerox all the pictures of us like it wasn't free. I had to go down to Kinko's.


Yeah. Trev, I'm afraid you've forgotten one important facet of cryptocurrency, and that is the block chain.


And what the block chain is, is math puzzles that computers work on and that gets you money. So for this but listen, we don't got to toss all this out. I'll tell you why. Because I'm a write down a math problem right now, OK?


It's a scrap of paper, OK? And then once they once there's enough megabucks bucks out there, maybe we can solve this bad boy.


Can I just say this is kind of getting away from me a little bit. And I was wondering if it would be OK if I just made it real quick and I called my friend. I don't want to say his name, so let's just call him Melen Usque.


Yeah, let me call Melen.




I up and I'm just not calling the person whose name it sounds like that and is has some hugely, hugely terrible ideas about life.


And that guy I'm calling Melen Right is a different guy. Hold on. Hold on. I'm now Elon Musk is kind of.


Yeah that's I mean hey Jeff Bezos. Yeah.


Yeah I try. I tried the. Yeah, well, yeah, no, it was a I told them I taped our faces on the dollars and they weren't with that. I mean, I can try. OK, I mean, this way, if he's getting advice like money advice from Carlebach business, this might actually be good.


Justin Unneighborly, if you don't buy into this, I'll kill you. OK, well, that's not true.


I love the idea. The problem is you're not thinking big enough, OK? A million Mackle bucks isn't cool. You know what's cool? Well, it's not a billion Mackle bucks. That's not cool either, OK? There's not an amount of Mackle bucks. That's cool. Well, a trillion. That's still not OK. No picture. Justin. Yeah. You have a trillion Macko bucks. That's not cool. A trillion of anything that's going to be a storage issue.


And where am I putting this stuff out there?


Very small. OK, that wasn't clear. Oh, yes, sorry.


People hide their wallets, knives and dollar bills into tiny strips and each one has a MacBook in.


Oh, in the meantime. That's great travel. Yeah, it's like confetti. That was funny. Maybe there's just one MacBook book and that's what makes it so valuable.


Yeah, but I don't have to keep track of how much it's worth at any given time. That seems like a lot of work for me.


That's true. That's true. That's what this show got. So corporate when we started doing ads probably. Yeah.


So this is an advice show. And what we do is we help you to build your wealth.


That's the one thing. That's our thing.


Our thing is to help you get that dream of living, living on the beach and just raking in the dividends and help you build your wealth by yourself.


Can I give a piece of advice and advice if you can figure out time travel and that's going to be a big hurdle here. Want but go back and buy Bitcoin when everybody was like, oh, bitcoin been very good and then sell it before everybody was like, ha ha, bitcoin, how stupid again.


So if you can figure out how to split that up right, you'll win or go into the future when bitcoin crashes and buy it then and bring it back to now and sell it. That's another story. If you can know what's going to happen, you could just.


I don't know if you can put out like a put order on on a cryptocurrency.


It's me, it's me. Travis for the future is going to be huge. Everybody buying tobacco products now.


Now, wait, maybe this is what Jeff actually told him to do. Don't miss buying tobacco books down before it's too late because this in the squares.


Hmm. That's not what I expect. I think it's effective. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's why he got to be where he is, is with that kind of lateral thinking.


This is an advice show. Oh my God. It's an advice show. All right, people, I wish I loved to have one episode in the past five years where I didn't have to say that line defensively.


You know, it was like Uncle Uncle Jimmy up like that, that kind of vibe. Every time I'm like, this is an advice, I promise you, savvy advice.


I mean, we're doing our best. I'm not are are we nice? Quiet. Yeah. So this is my show. I'd like to help a lot of people today. I feel like we have it help. Yeah, I know. I feel like we haven't been particularly helpful lately.


The everybody the votes are the votes are in not not helpful. Say the say that it's interviews. So I'd like to be a little bit more helpful. So I've got some questions here. I'm going to get right down to them. I've been talking to this girl for a little over a year.


Oh la la la la.


That's a long that's a long time to be talking to someone.


I feel like, oh, folks, it looks like we got a Romeo.


A little over a month ago, we got into an argument that ended with don't call me in her hanging up. I tried to text her a couple of times and haven't received a response. So I'm assuming we're done. Yes. My problem is my drill is at her house and I really like it back. How soon is too soon to call her for my drill back without her assuming I'm using it as a way to reach out to her? That's from sick of screwing around in Charlotte.


Don't call me I. I won't. But I do need to call you. Oh, but I do. Oh.


If I could just get my wallet back there is you know this situation better than we do. But like Dr. Strange, I do not see that many scenarios where this pans out. Good for you. And most of those scenarios you are the drill is the drill is gone and you need to be OK. Yeah.


I want to talk to you about sunk costs. Yeah. I want to help you build your wealth.


And here's how we're going to start your portfolio. Negative one drill. Yeah. Yep. That is the beginning of your portfolio. And let's build from there.


Do you have anything of hers that you could organize a neutral party swap seas situation, maybe on a long bridge?


Yeah, yeah, yeah. They send out their representative. You send out your representative, your representative is walking halfway there and back.


Maybe it's time to upgrade the NBC Universal and to upgrade your drill, maybe treat yourself to a nice Milwaukie or a nice Lakita. No, Dalts, the way to go. Don't want you got you got to go to the wall.


I'm already sunk so deep into the battery system for Milwaukee. I don't have a choice in cordless tool. That's why you lost the battery to Justin. Do you think that question asker took over a battery of this drill?


If the word was one of the.


That was one. Yeah. Wait for me. If you're not if you don't have two batteries, you don't own a drill.


But now they have a battery. Nobody says I want to drill later, you know, I mean, nobody's ever thought later. I hope to do some drilling.


I better charge what I want to drill now and then, not drill for an hour while it recharges and then start drilling again.


That is a good way to get out. I like to excuse yourself from a job you gave yourself that was like, oh, I was going to put together this cabinet, but who doesn't want to get some drilling done?


I would love to. I mean, sometimes you're tired, you know, sometimes you have a headache. Never too tired to drill.


The drill is gone. Gobind, you drill. I'm so sorry. It's expensive. That's what it looks like. Gramp's drill. It's not.


I mean, if it's your fucking Gramp's drill, you need to dump that garbage because drill technology has come a long way since your. Oh, yes. Time.


This is a this is a hand crank like drill that grandpappy used to cross the plains.


It's been in our family for twenty years, burrowed through the plains like dug dug the train holes with this.


That's that may be true. Trapped, but now it is in her family for a couple of weeks. And that's just another chapter in its incredible story. Yeah, no one saw this coming, but the drill is gone.


I think for me, if that happened to me, the greatest, the greatest, like, fart in the face would be that if I had left like a drill bit in there, that was part of a set.


I thought that would be worse than anything, because then it's like, am I going to buy a whole new set just to replace the quarter inch bit or am I going to try to find just a quarter inch bit that matches that set and fits in the. Oh, don't get me started.


Nightmare scenario. Have we ostracized, do you think? That was the question we ostracized the rest of our listeners.


Well, yeah, we had a cryptocurrency and then business and ostracise.


I just don't know that there's a big market for people who listen to our shows who are like mega into hard hardware. And you do not you have no concept of the restraint that I just brought to that question.


I find it so disheartening that you think that was me chatting about tools like you can go so much.


I brought a light dusting of expertise.


I said, I'll make you a deal. You can have two minutes unfettered if I can have two minutes to talk about my new favorite show, Forged in fire.


No, I don't want to do that.


I, I'm, I'm responsible, you know. No, I'm not. No.


And have the passion for tools that I do and not bring it to me to to a show like this after ten years of doing it. Yeah. When I think I've earned it, you know what I mean. In the words of Chris Fleming, that's grace.


That's poise. I mean, just the only thing that eclipses Justin's love for tools is his love for the Bantul. That's the only thing greater.


And my passion for the fabric tool. That's true. Yeah.


He's called twiddles. Yeah.


And a pair of the letter L so. Yes. Tools.




Oh we just got canceled. Got canceled for a podcast. Yeah. Just right there. It just it came through the wire.


This was sent by the wizard. Ben can't thank you Ben. Yahoo answers. They're anonymous Yahoo answers user.


So I'm I'll call them Patrick with a G at the end. So yeah. It's not your name. Patrick asks.


I don't like my dad's song. So I recently started playing guitar and I've shared the few I've learned with my parents. I'm in college and still live with them. So my dad had the idea to write lyrics and for me to play I thought he was joking at first, but we just now spent an hour dragging through his very depressing song. I don't like it, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?


I'm a very new song, boy. I've written I've written lyrics. The is called My Disappointing Son.


There's a very well thought out, I would say heartfelt answer. That is the only answer that has been left on is this this Yahoo! Answers question.


But the first two words, if this answer are they very much sum up how I'm feeling about it and it's just a tough one, I say, yes, it is.


That should have been the name of this podcast.


Tough one, but I think it is a parent's greatest wish is to be eclipsed by their. Miles, I mean, like to say good parents, great not mine. I know that's not my thing, but I think that if you come back and say, Dad, a few notes on this song you've written and you've changed every lyric and it's better, but you still make him feel like he's part of it.


That's really all he's looking for. Huge. Huge for dads. What do you think this depressing songs about?


Um, I mean, it could be about anything, you know, with dads, you know, how do I know how dads get to know that I have a solution to this?


Well, to say you say to your dad, you say, dad, I love this track.


And the thing is, we've got to get it at lives. We got to get it out there.


And so you go with your dad and you get him on guitar, lead vocals. And this part is important. You're on drums.


So you get upstairs and then the announcer guys like ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage where you wait and wait.


Wait, what about somebody announcing your show about to start? You're in your hot. What we're know is your show. I just said you've got to play that live. Please try to. But you said they go upstairs.


They made it sound like they went into the bedroom where the room was downstairs. You said they go upstairs.


It's a second floor stage travel. Shut up. I didn't say you said you said upstairs that Rachel, please, way back, whatever I played, it will move forward.


OK. And this part is important aerodromes, so you get upstairs and. No matter what just happened there, I think we got there on stage and the announcer says, Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage, the YMCA dating him.


And then you get up and you get out your sticks and you put on your shades and you're like Jim to you and you're picking up the pace. Your dad is looking back at you like it's too it's too fast. And you're like, Sorry, Dad, this sounds a banger. And we have songs like Let's roll with it, let's roll with it, let's go with that.


I love it when you mean Snowy Sunday, thinking about the friends we lost like that on zet. Reverend shut the war.


But that is a broken promises and broken dreams to and all the kids are like, well yeah, yeah, yeah.


I guess it sounds like your ex-wife really is a piece of work. You got, you got me. Everybody do.


The ex-wife had just said everybody already has kids take from.


No, yikes. I'm canceled.


We had a short career bird. Better to burn brighter than the fade away. How about another question.


OK, I love this. I just I love the synergies. Manitoulin so helpful. I have a question here.


You do. Yeah.


I'll see when I interrupt myself. I want to squad squad.


I want to munch. What.


I'm not barbet but that wasn't. You didn't interrupt yourself Justin. You possessed yourself. Yes.


And also I'm not I'm not I don't know that I'm ready for the Monch the money squad is a little post ads like Foothold that I get.


Well, Klein, we got other stuff. We got exciting stuff for folks. I want to get it out.


It wouldn't feel weird, though, if you were like in the middle of a fancy dinner party and they said, yeah, we're going to have the main course out in a second. But first, here's some brandy and cigars.


You're like, oh, no, OK, you guys know those parties, right? Sure, sure, sure.


This is a bunch quaters podcast with the podcast, only slightly much called related because my money is not related to this. But I did want to say.


It's wild. We didn't talk about the big game. I can't remember the last time a big game rolled around. Oh, I just assumed they canceled it because it wouldn't be safe to play sports and stuff in the current period. Yeah. How are they doing that, because I am watching football this season, but I just assumed they were doing their resume in it. Well, what it is, is from six foot away a like a one of the you know, the defensemen will say, like, I tackled you and the rules, man, you go, yeah, maybe they all have Lantz's like six foot lancets that Nerf Nerf guns.


That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Can I just say paintball football will be amazing. I have a few sort of jaws.


I just want to hit you all with it. The first is just the beginning of this story on QSR, which is one of my quick service restaurants.


One of my sources, main sources is your fucking home page. It's my basically my home page they have.


The headline is How Wendy's Got People Talking About Breakfast in a Pandemic, huh?


Subhead One of the biggest launches of twenty twenty was derailed by covid-19 or was it.


I don't know, dude, you're writing the story. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to do your work for you. And I did want to say that Handsome Ass Co. is in this one.


Everybody knows CMO of Wendy's. It's a breakfast. He said it was a competitive landscape that Carl right now in classic Carl Arato style, referred to as the world of frozen arches.


Oh, boy.


It says here it's a not so veiled reference to McDonald's, just like fucking McDonald's.


Carl at that point, Carl does it, then it wouldn't be a Lorraine own. It would just be a regular burn if if he if he didn't have a little spin on it.


Real poetic how you know how Carl is so there. Wild out there. Taco Bell's got a new five dollar bill, your own cravings box for the people.


OK, you take a boring burger bundle. You had a celebrity in the mix. You put it online. You've got the perfect recipe for, well, eating someone else's favorites. Why Taco Bell wonders why not just eat like you.


A lot of people watching the fucking throne right now, a lot of people not making a run at the King. So wait, wait. I'm not the king.


That's going to be is this is this is the statement here, the accusation of like, you don't want to eat some famous person's favorite meal, you want to eat yours.


And only with our help will you be able to do that.


That's exactly right. You're going to be able to rewarding their most passionate fans.


First, the new Build Your Own Cravings box will be exclusively available exclusively to talk about rewards beta members, the Taco Bell.


As a beta member myself, I have to say this is fair. And they got me stretching customers dollars further than ever before to build your own cravings.


Box is the ultimate Taco Bell eating experience. So basically you tell them what you want to put this big box of garbage. They're going to serve it up to you, right? No problem. And no questions asked. No judgment.


Nikki Lawson, who sort of like the Carl Laredo of Taco Bell. Right.


Says in honestly one of the most inscrutable quotes that we've had in this segment, and that is saying something as we see it.


There aren't a lot of choices out there when it comes to value, forcing customers to play by others rules.


Yeah, but when your fans have different favorites on the menu, why not celebrate that?


Oh, God, I feel free for the first time. The Taco Bell. I'm proud to lead the Taco Bell.


I'm proud this is not Taco Bell. Talk about omeprazole.


He does it differently.


We put fans in the driver's seat and allow them to eat how they want to eat, not how someone, irrespective of how famous they may be, tells them to kind of say that.


That's a horrible kind of phrase. Here's because if I went to a NASCAR race and they put fans in the driver's seat, horrible things are going to happen, is not going to be is going there's going to be a bloody massacre.


I want experienced eating professionals in the driver's seat. Thank you very much. Like your Travis Scott's, I think Travis Scott to the McDonald's.


What's wild about that quote is that.


It's not rules, Travis, Travis Scott wasn't like you got this new McDonald's meal and it's all about me and it's a weird burger and a flurry and a lot of fucking fries and just a massive, unconscionable amount of brain dead stuff.


Those are the fucking rules.


That's it now. And it's the only thing they sell Taco Bell is this is the great part.


They've got a digital and social campaign for this initiative that includes some Taco Bell's most influential fans, including actor.


No, it's Centineo Tic-Tac Influencer, Navarros, K Pop Star, s.L, iconic drag queen, Onyx Black and BMX, or Brad Sims. I wonder if all of them agreed on BMX her way back in the day. I can't imagine, but the celebrities aren't going to be sharing their own order. Oh, OK.


They're going to be reminding consumers to never settle for someone else's taste buds and I'm going to make my own fucking tacos at home.


This is the weird thing. Don't listen to the celebrities when they tell you what to eat at Taco Bell, but do listen to the celebrities when they tell you to eat it out the opposite way.


Centineo will walk right up to the door and you'll turn around to thank him. And he's gone.


Yeah, you can do a passionate Tick-Tock duet with Noah Centineo, by the way, which I plan on doing right away.


How many items do I get to put in this box? Is it like you get four items to put in the box or is it how however much Griffin can be anything they have, it's whatever in the box.


It's like a yogurt place. It's by weight. Yeah. Yeah.


You didn't get a box full of hot loose hot sauce and that's it. And it still is five dollars. You could ask for the employees to put their wallets in the box when they have to do it because there are no fucking rules.


They have to choose from one of like four different categories, basically, which is like a signature item, like the Chalupa Supreme.


And then they have the charming, charming name starters.


And one of those starters is a beefy five layer burrito like just Boosh feeling a bit peckish coaching staff. What do you find here? Fariña for the table. I couldn't possibly six layers of five layer like five layers to begin.


I do want to do that. Tick tock tick. Look for that on my tick tock, my duet with Noah Griffin. When are you going to get on that tick tock. Soon.


Somebody tells me how it works out.


Real quick before we head into the break so quickly, I want to let everybody know that this is just kind of a public service announcement. The Shamrock Shake coming back February 15th.


Just in time. I hear you saying I don't. I hear you saying I don't give a shit. Well, that's not what McDonald's thinks. They're welcoming back not only this shamrock shake, but also the fan favorite Oreo shamrock. Big flurry. I always like when restaurants call something a fan favorite because the alternative is they're bringing back some of them that no one seemed to enjoy.


But it was, chief, we're bringing back great underdog. We're giving you one more chance to enjoy. This is an acquired taste. And one more time, please give it a try. We ordered so many of them, please.


This is if you learn to read between the lines in these things, they're actually pretty sinister. The Shamrock Shake features creamy vanilla, soft serve blended with our unmistakable shamrock shake flavor and finished with a whip topping. Hmm for a minty treat. Now, there's a lot of things that they said there. There's a lot of things they didn't say as well as like what is in this? Like, why is it like that? It's minty.


Not mint, though, is they explained the burning that you feel when you eat it because you you can justify that. That is that must be that they're mint that they mentioned. But everything else is is a puzzle box. Ilesha Chef Mike would not do a study like. Oh, no, no, no.


But I got I got allergies, you know, for more than 50 years I. It strains credulity at this point, some of these quotes from the marketing people and I this is this this cat, Chad Schaffer is the director of culinary disasters, a senior director.


OK, for more than 50 years, fans have eagerly awaited the annual return of the Shamrock Shake, counting on the arrival of Shamrock Shake season to mark the unofficial start to spring.


Huh? And we heard they especially enjoyed getting a taste of the one and only shamrock flavor and a new way last year with the Oreo shamrock flurry. We know this winter may feel longer than others, so we had to do it. Have they given it in there?


So we're thrilled to give customers something to look forward to by bringing both fan favorites back to the menu this month.


So hang in there, the shamrock shake. It's coming. I cannot wait for, like, the first hints of, like now everything's on the upswing. Fifty one percent of the population is vaccinated. Like, you know, we're seeing daylight because at this point, I feel like a quick service. Restaurants have run out of euphemisms for saying, like, I don't fucking know, man, give them some new material about hope on the horizon and just watch them fly out.


They're going way up on that for forever. You know, it's funny. You always see these announcements for like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, or bells on dipshits. Your favorite green shake is back. I thought they never have a press release. It's like a funeral for a friend saying goodbye once again.


Well, you know, you all look forward to it and fucking cling to it to get through these cold winter months. But I well, it's March 18th, so this shit's going right in the dumpster. I'm going to let you walk.


You miss it, assholes. It's gone. Anyway, this is my squad. Let's take a break first.


Some more positive commercialism in a segment we like to refer to as the money.


You know, when I was a young man. I was told quite often that I was something of an upstart upstart, they would say to me, you whippersnapper, they would say, but now upstarts are having their day, aren't they? Because if you have multiple credit cards, you know that tracking multiple balances, due dates and website logins can be stressful. Upstart makes things simple with one monthly payment in one place, unlike the premise of this.


Right. Like, why are there so many? I am not British. I'm just owed you British when you get all. I'm an old timey man. I'm from a time before when we lost our British accents here in America.


I'm so old that I still have a British accent. How, how. And a lot of credit cards. Yeah, no, that's for sure.


Like a lot of when I was a whippersnapper, I signed up for a lot of credit cards to get the free things that they offered at baseball games. Right. And how old are you? I am one hundred and seventy five. Upstart is a fast and easy way that gets you a personal loan to pay off your debt all online. You have credit cards or consolidating high interest at whatever upstart is going to find smarter rates because they say more than just your credit score.


There's a five minute online rate check. See your rate up front for loans from one thousand fifty thousand dollars so you can find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today.


When you go to upstart dotcom slash my brother, that's upstart dotcom slash my brother.


Don't forget to use our your URL to let them know that we sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application.


That's upstart dot com slash my brother. Brooklyn and sells very say I was a young man, people used to call me Brooklyn in Brooklyn and they'd say, get on this fuckin hours, do you know my bad Brooklyn?


And they'd say, I'm really getting clean. And they'd say, Get off me bad Brooklyn. And when I say this is very bad and they'd say, no, it's in my bed. And then we'd fight in the street with pistols.


Yeah, but we don't do that anymore. We just chill in our beds with our comfy sheets and stuff that Brooklyn and provides us because that they got they got the really good stuff. I shit on some, I sleep on Brooklyn in sheets and I sleep like an absolute baby. And whenever I used to travel. The I didn't sleep in Brooklyn and sheets that made me sad, sorry, I just I just realized that I've slept in my own bed every day for the last year and it got me it got me good.


But they got a bunch of different colors and patterns and materials to fit your needs and your tastes. And they got comforters, pillows and towels.


And if you want to just feel like you have a sheet on you all fucking day, they got loungewear. So that's great. Go to Brooklyn Dotcom and use the promo code.


My brother, all one word to get twenty five dollars off and you spend 100 hundred bucks or more plus you get free shipping. That's B-R. OK, Elai in ENCOM and intr promo code. My brother. All one word to get twenty five dollars off and you spend one hundred bucks or more plus free shipping Brooklyn and dotcom and use promo code. My brother at checkout. Welcome. Thank you. These are real podcast listeners, not actors. What do you look for in a podcast?


Reliability is big for me. Power. I take comfort. What do you think of this?


Oh, that's Jordan.


Jesse, go. Jordan. Jesse, go. They came out of the floor and down from the ceiling.


That can't be safe. I'm upset. Can we go down soon?


Jordan, Jesse, go a real podcast. Another question that I would like to shoot your way this summer, I moved into a new home, everything was good.


Apart from each Friday when allowed ice cream van would park right outside my house at eight p.m. and serve customers till late. However, it is now well into December and the van still shows up each week.


And we're really getting to this question pretty late, huh?


Yeah. What are you going to do? Well, we're well out of December and a music well after dark. No one is buying ice cream at night in winter. And at this point, I'm too nervous to go out and talk to the owner in case this is some front for illegal activity. How should I discover what they're up to? And do I even want to know?


That's from John in Norway UK. I've got no idea.


I don't I don't see us being capable of answering this, but I have very good news. Yeah. My friend Christine Aryal, who I recently did some game streaming with, she was telling me that there is a ice cream truck outside of her house all the time.


So I think we should call her and get her opinion on this.


Let me bring her up on the phone real quick. Boop, boop, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop.


No, you don't have to hit that many numbers. What are we hearing, the bells of Cristina's phone through the phone, I put I put a microphone in Christina's house so we could record her side of it.


Yeah, we will. Oh, my God. Hi, Christina. It's Travis. Travis, MacAvoy. Travis, Travis, MacRay.


We did. We did our Game Stream together where we played. We played that postapocalyptic game.


And you probably stream with a lot of people, though. So, like, if you don't remember him, let's just let's just clean slate it right now.


And that Travis McIlroy high high. There's another that's not important. We had a question here and I'm going to repeat it. So now we want to get your opinion on this, because I know that there's an ice cream truck that seemingly lives outside your house. So what should the what's going on here, do you think?


Well, I think if you want to know if this truck is actually up to something, actually have the perfect plan for you and this works in any case, if you suspect that an ice cream truck in your neighborhood is maybe not just selling ice cream. Go and order a Sonic the hedgehog ice cream with bubblegum ice or a little ice cream.


And how much frost is on top of it, apparently.


OK, if this truck actually sells ice.


So you're what you're suggesting because they have a freezer inside that freezer is one side like the hedgehog popsicle with gumball ice and one teenage ninja turtle with gumball ice and nothing else.


There might be an ice cream sandwich or a bomb bumper one of each item. There's one of each. And you got to be careful.


It's a yes and all ice cream pop. You got to be careful because one of them is also going to be the code word for the drugs that you are also selling today. So if you are going down the list of menu items and it says like and it's a Quddus is four hundred dollars, and you can assume that that is some sort of slang for a drug of some something.


I bet it's pretty frustrating if you have an ice cream truck that's a front for your drug selling business, but nobody knows it's a front for a drug selling business, just buying ice cream. And you're like, wow, me and nobody bought drugs from me today. I need to work on my branding.


Well, I mean, it's an interesting occupation, but it's a it's a. Entrepreneurial in turn. I don't know what it is, it's funny, though, you know, this happens in New York City. There are trucks that drive around and they have like pot leaves all over them and stuff. And like the candy will be called like hemp and honey or whatever. But like, there's no there's no actual marijuana in any of it. It's just implied.


But it's completely it would be completely illegal if it was actual if it was actual THC in these things.


But it just looks like it. And so tourists are like, oh, my God, big city. And then they just buy what is essentially regular candy for like twenty dollars an ounce.


So this the impropriety that the appearance of impropriety here is a feature and not a bug is what you're saying. Yes. And you know that if you go to this ice cream vendor who is selling in such a shady way, you know that this it's a Quddus.


He's going to fuck you up Färm. It's not a question about it. It is actually a KDC. Well, is there's no doubt about it. This one's a doozy. Christiane, how do you deal with your children constantly asking you to patronise the ice cream truck that has taken root outside your home?


Because that would be, I feel like a basically constant struggle between my children and.


Well, I think the best way to interfere with that is the fact that my husband is an ice cream junky, so there's always ice cream in my house and it's like, oh, let's go to the ice cream truck. But why would we do that when we've got good humor? Strawberry shortcake bars in the fridge. Oh, ice cream. Do you want a fat boy like that? They like bad boys with peanut butter.


You can't do that with your hard ice cream. You're going to get from the ice cream truck sitting in there for 14 years.


My wife calls the strawberry good humor varas scooter crunch bars. And I didn't know if I should divorce or not. What do you think?


I think that you should say, you know what, honey? You call it whatever you want to and I'll call it what I want to. You can be wrong, but we can continue on.


We don't talk about it that much, to be fair, actually. How does that come up? Organically.


To each their own. To each their own and all. It makes me think about, do you remember those commercials for Six Flags? And they had that old dude and he had like a bald head and a black tuxedo.


And you can't see me, but I'm doing like this little jig. But that's what I always think about because there was like a 90s commercial for good humor and.


Oh, good humor, man. Yeah. Yeah. Like, they would play that in those commercials. And I think the the long the short part of the story is I really like good humor.


Barzman Cristiana. So just to clarify, talking about ice cream truck made you think about the six fat guy which then made you think about the good humor guy and not the other way around. No, the good I'm good, I thought about the OK, so I said we have good humor bars in the fridge, which made me think about that song, which then made me think about the Six Flags commercial is doing the dance, which then brought me back to the good humor song.


Well, speaking of.


I'm the good humor man. I'm the only man with the ice cream, ice cream across the lens to strawberry shortcake, the chocolate so hard right now. It's the same with the chocolate you can make. You can put your. I wish to God I could be there when there's this ad exec pitch this, you know, the kids are so into right now is Scatman scavenge on.


That's the wildest thing about that, is it is a parody of Scatman, but not like the syllable count is so far Jianming to they are doubling the syllables of the term Scatman.


It's wild. It's hubris.


So strange that someone heard I'm the Scatman and thought, you know what? That makes me think of good humor, man.


That's why you know what's great about it is that it was like during that area, that area.


But during that era where it was like Alleycat Strike came out as a like a big boom and like, what are those guys called the little like the tubthumping dudes? But one band swing kind of like, oh, like that's all that's happened today.




Big Daddy, squirrel nut zippers every bit and had the worst days it was there or what made it seem like they drew their names syllable by syllable out of a hopper.


And yes, it was quite clear.


Why couldn't they have a cool name like Staind or bottle of mud puddle of mud, jars of clay jars learned blah creed.


You can't even tell.


You can even take me higher with that name.


I'm pretty sure most of the bands we just mentioned were undercover Christian rock bands. Sure, there were a subgenre. Yeah, OK.


Not just rock, not just Christian undercover Christian rock. You might listen to several of their albums before you figure out.


Gotcha, gotcha.


Didn't The Big End like Insane Clown Posse story come out with the most undercover undercover Christian group like the Juggalos were a Christian rock band all along.


They the Juggalos are like, if you like, if they were a plant and a criminal organization, but they were under so long they forgot how to live a clean life.


Anything like I think we start as a Christian band or we just decide what's happening here, guys.


They got they got they got departed. That's what. Man that's it. Now, the the Juggalos got raptured. Yep.


It's like the great philosopher once said fifty told me, go ahead and switch your salad. And if they hate then let them hate and watch the money pile up. Yeah.


That's from the Bible I think also from the Bible. Yeah. That fifty he was talking about was some.


But Jesus Christ sometimes, sometimes they called him fifty because he took the bread in the fish, he turned it into fifty bread and fish.


Well that's cool. Good job. Jesus. That's not enough for everybody. There were hundreds of not even close, not even close, but still it was more than one. So yeah.


That's true. That is true. Thousand oh oh. Oh my God.


This is so awkward. But you go ahead and ask your question and then I'll ask my different question.


OK, I just wanted to thank Christina for taking time out of her incredibly busy schedule of hosting the Star Wars Hirer public web series, the official Star Wars show discussing the Star Wars III Republic series. It must be so much more fun to do that than to record this show. I thought so. It means so much to us. But you took the time to come on our show to talk about dumb things.


Well, I like talking about dumb things, and I like you. I will. Thank you. When we talk about Star Wars sometimes on this show, but people weirdly don't like it.


We really don't really don't.


We think Star Wars is cool spaceships and laser blades and all that shit? Radical. But I guess our our we got a lot of just chocks distractors.


Just listening to our show, you know, you could talk about, though, and just changed all the discourse because it's one thing that everyone can agree on was that. Ivan Uzed is one of the greatest villains in all of cinema, and he deserves his flowers, the courage, the bravery required to come on our show and and and be a proponent of the issues.


It took my breath away.


Christina, some people actually have hope. Yeah, but some people say he's a bit much.


I prefer said I prefer Goldar, but.


No, no, no, no, no. The best part of this entire movie, I think of all the things I've missed. The Brady Bunch.


You kidding me? That is. I'm sorry. I have a lot of shit.


Do you think it's a more iconic movie villain, Ivan News or Raul Julia as Invisalign in the street?


And don't make me choose to make sure that those is that. I think I think the reason that popped in my head is I think they're both playing at the same level in like like just acting choice wise.


The same incredible level.


Yeah. I can't bend. It is a fine art and I think they're both incredible artists when it comes to the camp. And I had refused to make a choice on this. But I will continue to say Ivan as a villain had bars.


That's fair. That's fair. I think it's just that it's now that we're into the new year. Twenty, twenty one. I wanted to make sure that I could reference the best line in cinema ever and make sure we get it in before I have to worry about it, which is the day that Invisalign invaded your city is the worst day of your life. For me, it was a Tuesday and it's very good.


And and as long as requoting street fighter adjacent things, I, I got to I mean, I can't let the opportunity pass me by to quote the interview that somebody did with Jean-Claude Van Damme when it was revealed that he had an affair with Kylie Minogue on the set. And he said, OK, yes, yes, yes, it happened. I was in Thailand. We had an affair.


Sweet kiss, the beautiful lovemaking.


To be fair, I hope Jean-Claude Van Damme says that about me someday.


Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking, beautiful lovemaking is all I can say is Jean-Claude Van D?


Yes. Do you guys know that the bad guy from Raila's Belak was played by the same guy who played Ivan is.


No, really has quite a trajectory, huh.


You must have had one moment where they were putting on the app. Look on your face. The blue, the purple tentacles are like this is where I'm at currently.


That's OK. I mean, Harrison Ford up to. Let's see.


Yeah I bet Harrison is maybe in the middle. You think he called Harrison Ford like, hey Harrison, are you in this maneuver?


I said you got the offer right alongside me. Got an opportunity for you.


This is a rocket baby going all the way to the top.


Harrison, can you put on your helmet? I'm not putting on my helmet. So you're the Black Ranger Harrison Blaze.


I'm not doing. But where can people watch your your program?


I mean, I guess the Internet, right? You get everything on the Internet these days. Yes, you can watch the higher public show on the Starwars, YouTube or on Star Wars dot com, and you can check out more information about the higher public in that little tab about said show. And other than that, you can find me on Mondays. I host a show called Improvised Champions with Mark Meer, who is with Commander Shepard in Mass Effect.


Oh, yeah. And we there's someone plays through the game Idol champions. We voice all the characters and we also commentate as two of our original characters. So it's really fun.


It's on the Sydney Games, which I also highly recommend. If you are subscribed to drop out, you can watch Dimensioned 20 and Christina just did a series there on Dimensioned 20 called Pirates of Leviathan.


And when she played Barbarella, it's very, very good.


I need to say it for you. OK, please. Her name is Bob Relicensed for the gangling that you can call it Bob. That's really good. Talented people may be so angry, it must be so stressful. They have talent.


I can't imagine you were in trouble early on.


They let us talk at the same time and then they put it through a bunch of computers.


You know, how is the music industry? We watched it the other day and watched it like my son's in a trance. So like my oldest comes in right at the part where it's the incredibly sad Kelly Clarkson song.


Yeah, and outcomes, the Tumbleweed song and everyone in my kitchen busted up busting up some debate amongst the trolls community and our community about which one of the three of us that credited in the books, in the IMDB books to the man daddy, to my boy, because it's absolutely griffeth.


It's I said no question, but I'm on the poster, so.


Hey, Christine, thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate you being here. So I think we've really helped this time.


This person we've helped by that ice cream in BREATHALYSE. Hey, Griff, how about a Yahoo!


Yeah, a very fast one here is going to be just a heads up call, like which way you're leaning on it.


It was sent in by a bunch of people. Thanks, everybody. It's an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user who I'm going to call. Dumpty's asks.


Oh, I'm challenging. Do you wish your bath could be the soup?


Imagine taking a warm, relaxing bath and you can drink the savory fragrant soup as you bathe and dip crackers in it.


Now, now, now, let's talk about doing it in the Japanese style, because there is a sort of usually you'll shower off and then you'll get in the bath right in the shower, gets all the particulate, the the gunk because you don't want to get in the bath and get your gunk all over the bath and then somebody else gets in the bath later.


No, no, no, no.


You shower offers. So I would need a free soup bath to even consider this and even would.


I'm sorry. You would never I mean, you would never we are all of us made of stardust and gunk. We are we are made of glass. If we clean off all the gunk, we'll make more gunk. Thank you.


But OK, but let me let me can I add an element here, which is to say how big a container before it would be dispersed enough.


That's what I'm saying, that you would be OK if you got into a lake of soup and you knew there were no fish here like rocks or anything. It's just you and the soup. Is that then dispersed enough? Because I would posit the issue comes down to the twist is or must you have like a super long spin, you're still eating the soup from immediately around your body?


Yeah, sure.


You would want to get you know, you would want to dive down deep into the depths, far from where you're buying stuff at your stuff might put in your foot stuff and armpit stuff like those are the worst parts.


Your body. Stop gravity, just say your human bodies. So, no, there's still some soup on my thigh. I'll eat that right off there. That's not a problem.


If I smell it on my if I gibes, I'll spoon it up there. But if I drop soup on my foot or my penis or my butt or my armpits, then that's going in the trash or your hair or your face or your ears.


If I of those I think, ok, ok. You've never gotten you've never been eaten soup excited and you get soup on your face and you just kind of lick it off.


No, no. I have a beard friend. I can't do that. OK, yeah but I got Travis really fucking knocked this one out of the park because the question is how big a body of soup do you need to be?


It because I would argue a bathtub is too small, too small because like at that point, so much of that soup has come in contact.


Can we just go OK, can I let me in the interests of are we all agree we're made of gunk? Yes. Undrinkable.


It's like Ralph Nader wrote under any sign.


No, no. But let's pretend in a world where, like we have we can divorce ourselves from, like, hygiene. Right.


What do you do? You get you get laminated before you go in. I don't I don't know.


But like, let's talk about all other elements of this question, because I feel like will you enjoy the sensation, you know, of floating in a lake of chunky chicken?


Hold on, boy. Now, that is the other question, because I would I would argue huge. I would fight so hard for tomato soup.


Yeah. Wait, I see. I go tomato, tomato, basil bisque, which I mean, sure.


As long as I can't see my own body in it. So no broth.


I want no chunks either. No chance. No chance.


I got too many Crannis and or Nook's in my human body to do Chungs. Yeah.


I want if I don't have chunks I'll be hungry.


Oh Justin we're not talking about Sussie. I assumed we were in a fear factor. Ask sitting here and not like, well, this is my life now. Yeah, but like I said, we can bring you bread like it doesn't make sense.


OK, me if I'm already ok. OK, shut up. Shut up. If you waited so long and an hour later you tell your significant other I'm feeling a little peckish. They're going to look at you like did you just fucking brave and say OK, how are you? Just on the other side of that is like if you said I'm starving, what shall we do for dinner? And then you saw a lake of soup and you said never not.


Yeah, it's not that that would be that would be completely bonkers.


Here's me, though. I'm over here getting showers, showering off my my soup shower. Or maybe it's a burning like in Andromeda Strain where they just kind of blast you with hot light and and just compare the D herring herring.


You are a perfectly hairless, beautiful, just hardcore neo in the Matrix, right.


When you first comes out of the pod. And then I walk over to the kitchen real quick and I do whip myself up a grilled cheese samme, cut it in half one half and each fish run jump into the tomato basil bisque like, oh, now I'm having and now I'm having a fucking party.


I mean, the ideal is you have a sandwich big enough to float on God, that grilled cheese out there.


You're floating on the grill cheesiness, ripping tiny pieces off, dipping into the tomato soup. Like that's the idea. But admittedly, that is not the question. Right.


I understand that if I did enough deep grouting, I would get in a bathtub of tomato basil bisque and I would eat some of it. And I don't think that makes me nasty.


I mean, you can think whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. OK, listen, Graveman we can talk about if it's OK or not, but you know, the way you said it made it a passionate thing, like a thing you wanted to do actively.


And that since we got rid of the chunks, I feel like everybody is kind of lost the passion for this, you know, because it just doesn't make it's not appetizing now.


OK, I can I can I follow you down this path. And for a second when you're talking about these chunks.


Oh, you wait. Did you want me to list some of my favorite? Now we'll get there when you're talking about chunks or is for this.


OK, thank you.


Are you talking about a lake with now in the can as it exists on Earth size chunks or that this whole thing is scaled down?


Can you hear me out? I'm not bathing in. Can understand what I'm saying. What I'm saying is freshly manman has taken soup that now exists on earth and filled the lake with it. Or rather we're in. Honey, I shrunk the kids scenario right now. You're shrunk down the bowl is you sized it. All the chunks are gigantic, right?


Yes, I want that. Nobody wants that.


OK, OK, so you're just talking about small chunks now to open my mouth and let all that slip in.


You know, you're going to munch ranchlands around this lake? Well, no, I think Justin's talking about filtering or it through his teeth, like bailing out.


They at all actually. They have to filter out the Bailies too, because it's a very famous, very fancy's you.


Now, if you could give me a matzo ball perhaps to float on, that would be ideal.


That would be fucking great is if there was lake size matzo ball soup with one big fucking matzo ball right in the center that you had to sort of kind of style.


Yeah, you can't just make a soup wonderland for you to play it. And you're like inventing this chili Wonka style landscape where you're just slow to come with me.


Have a bit. Yes.


Like, you can't just make it a playground. It's just so fun. But why not, Justin? Why can't we dance on moonbeams and have big old chocolate? You're like you're like you're perverting the whole idea of a theoretical question. It would be like saying like, hey, imagine you could take a bath in soup and also your right arm becomes incredibly strong and powerful, able to lift anything.


It's like, well, yeah, I'd go ahead and do that. But you're not. You're just talking about taking a bath in soup. It's not hard.


It's just a question. I'm sorry. I apologize.


I thought that was going to be a quick one. Well, no dice. Thanks for listening to our program. We hope you feel like we, by the way, that we did that is unanswered. Still, I feel like we did not answer it.


I said, yeah, I just feel like what we answer to something more important, which is that we're three different people with different priorities.


Yeah, but I feel like this is the first time in like five hundred and forty some episodes that the three of us been so divided on an issue. Yeah.


That like I feel I don't I feel like I don't know you just that's an exciting new chapter to to end our show on. Thanks for listening to our program. We hope you enjoyed yourself. Thanks to Max. Fun having. Guess this is part of their extended podcasting family, thanks to you for listening, I think we got some new pneumo. Yeah, there is some me tell you about because it's very exciting. We've got a really great boy Karpin of the Month design by great design by Zachary Sterling that benefits no us without you L-A Noah.


So that is providing food security for undocumented back of house staff and their families in Los Angeles. We've also got the taste of luxury stimulus wineglass. We've got the taste of luxury shirt. Summercamp Budnick. So cute. The Candlelights video on demand is there from our virtual candlelights show. It's pay what you want and all proceeds are still going to Harmonie House. And hey, if you like books, you can get The Adventures Zone. Crystal Kingdome preorder now over at the Adventure Zone Comic-Con that comes out July 13th and everybody has a podcast except you is out now in ebook, in paper and audio.


All those go get it at Elsewise Flashback. Right, podcast book. But the main thing is our Adventure Zone Live, a virtual show happening February 19th at 9:00 p.m. It's a 9:00 p.m. Eastern, I should say. It's virtual and interactive. So there will come a major points where you the audience will get to vote on what the player characters will need to do. And we're going to be playing Honey Heist with special guest Erika Ishii, which is very exciting.


Erika is amazing. Tickets are only ten dollars and you can get them at live dot the McElroy dot family.


We're close on that new theme song. Also, watch watch this.


Watch this space.


So when I say we I mean the the people who are actually working on the song, but it's it's it's nearly finished.


It's we had input in it, like that's really good. So, yeah, you're doing great.


You do a good job. Maybe more, more drums or maybe less. Yeah.


Have you thought about adding a note here that's like bebop.


So here's that final. It was sent in also by the ones who'd been can't. Thank you, Ben. You crushed it.


That's from a Yahoo Answers user vich who asks if Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, who painted the first fifteen chapel.


Oh, bleep. Hey, thanks for listening. Our podcast has been my brother, my brother and me.


Kiss your dad square on the lips way. We supposed to say our names. Travis Oh, Travis. Back I fell off. It fell. Oh, Travis. My name is just the back of Travis.


I'm Griffin. I'm not saying it again. OK, that was the show.


You had some fun talking for an hour, and now our job is done, go back into the world. All the cuss words he said. Maximum fun dog comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.