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The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed, Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only.


So the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? You're coming back.


All right. We've got jokes and we're going to give advice. Laughter It is a common sight and say it's time to start. It's my. Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother and me and adviser for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.


I am Travis McElroy. Hey, this is your youngest brother, Griffin McElroy.


And let me get my axe out and chunk chunk kick all the doors to the movie theaters is open again.


Oh, Ryan, it's time. Let me get these cobwebs out.


I got a torch to blow out these cobwebs like Indiana Jones, another movie and pop soda, soda, soda, everybody pile on in because we're going back to the movie theaters because folks, they're still making these things and we're going to and it's pretty much basically time to go ahead, get back, get your ticket for the new for the new space jam movie that is coming out.


We do have new details coming in like literally this hour. Hot off the presses about plot details on the new Space Jam movie, which I don't know the title of, but I am going to call it Space Jam two thousand now unless I do very much want to hear about this.


But first, I do want to say it's a bold move for movie theaters to say, like now we know that people have now hoped through the veneer and they realize that they could sit at home and watch these movies. It's all B.S.. Right.


But we're still going to charge you movie like money to drive here. Yeah. Hey, eight hundred dollars for a box of nerds. Yeah, right.


And watch a movie in this big butter, slick warehouse. Yes. That we call that we called the cinema. Well, it's going to be worth it when we all sit down to see Space Jam. Two thousand because here's some plot details. Just not read this verbatim straight from Entertainment Weekly. This is a weekly publication that covers everything that you need to know in in the cinema and television, music and I guess games. Oh, yes.


The story the paragraph starts playing a heightened version of himself. James that's LeBron LeBron James.


I knew it struggles to relate to Joe's Dom who much more. Why it's don't worry about it. I think Joe's Dom, that's that's the character who is LeBron James movie? LeBron James. His son maybe. Got it. OK, he's much more interested in creating games than playing them when Dom's tech skills draw the attention of a CGI humanoid named Algorithm Parentheses Don Cheadle. Yes, the father son duo gets sucked into the water. Three thousand entertainment quote server verse with the OK I kidnapping Dom in the hopes of stealing some of the king's followers ARRL He has about eighty million on Instagram Cheatle.


Doesn't it consider Algy a bad guy what bad guy does but rather an A.I. with a chip on his shoulder says the MCU with a microchip on his shoulder.


Come on, guys, it was right there. I know you're wondering, will they play basketball with the Looney Tunes at some point, this film?


Because so far they've left me kind of dangling. I don't be kind of bold. If they didn't honestly, if they called it like space jam, too. And then at the very end, like just before credits, LeBron James, like, picked up a basket and said, so do you guys want to play or what?


And then credits roll to be a power move.


Well, don't worry. Next paragraph as being a space jam movie, a baseball, a baseball game, a passing.


Now it's a baseball. Hey, what's up?


A basketball game settles things once and for all.


To save his son and escape this virtual reality, James must round up the tunes, including a banished bugs OK to defeat the formidable goon squad. He got caught embezzling, I guess so much of the early discussion on new legacy.


Oh, that's the name of a movie centered on the reintroduction of Bugs Little Bunny, Daffy Duck tweeting the rest of the tunes got kids like YouTube something.


What are they playing?


Monsters. Are they like different bad guys? It's the it's the goon squad, the Taliban.


I know it's still the Taliban. They're playing this one.


They're playing the idea of classism. What? Whoa.


They're fighting income inequality. I guess the goon squad is that is King Kong. Batman is in it because it's like all Worner now. OK, anyway, we can't get too deep into that.


What it bugs do what you spoke Spanish. And why is Don Cheadle algorithm and a guy who kidnapped fucking LeBron James, his son is algorithm a bit like his that and like names was to be a play on words of something.


Am I missing it?


Algae, Algeria, Algeria, Al Gore, Grigoriev.


Glad we all got we got you back. Hey, last ten seconds.


And here I sort of figure always a good sign when it takes three men in their early thirties to figure it out and join the kids.


Kids love, love chasing the. Fucking Al, he can't what are you bugs do bugs, considering that he has decades and at least for half a century worth of evidence of doing violent crimes against other Looney Tunes, but that wasn't it.


We're talking about it through the lens of law and order. But is it possible bugs bug bulgogi cancelled.


He got cancelled, is canceled things. I bet you don't have to go fucking Disney can't put up any programming from before nineteen eighty seven.


That doesn't mean it's like it's eighty seven is quite liberal. End of the day it was.


So that's true because even Aladdin has the one that's like mid 90s like Disney just said. Was it. I'm sorry. They still have Brer Rabbit in the parks.


It's why they're getting updates south of the new. I've heard that it's going to be a Tianna thing anyway, Princess.


Yeah, we can't.


Yeah, I'm not going to go down that that particular rabbit hole.


Yeah. It's what Disney plus everything. When you sign up where you have to check a box is like, listen, I hope you're ready for the best in family entertainment. Also, can you keep a fucking secret because you're a piece of shit. You're going to get into some things on here that I'm not sure what you're going to feel comfortable letting people know there's a box at next door just as.


Right clicking this box. You admit that it was a different time. It was a different time.


Also on your credit card statement, it's just going to say DPE X, X, 1713.


So you're your wife or kids don't know that you subscribe to Disney.


Plus, don't worry, we didn't. Discrete solutions.


Scott says that you've got a gut to say, but it just says dildoes.


Don't worry, guys.


Yeah, I'm a I'm about to have another son, a second son here and a few.


And here in a few weeks, there's going to be another rowdy boy child. Why are these parts didn't you say something before that?


Why did you want the the reveal here? Yeah. After we talked about space jam too. You're saying that doesn't sort of that doesn't make sense in the sort of like not.


I'm just saying why did we not tell us privately.


Yeah, I knew that you guys wouldn't be cool about it this year.


And and so far I been I would if I wanted to talk about it and blow up your spot for sure. Yeah.


I mean, it's just like having two kids is kind of my thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of people like when they talk about the macro brothers and they're like, you know, Justin's the carpenter, Travis has two kids and Griffin is kind of a bad boy, right, with one kid.


Well, no, I'm about to have two. And that does that now double my opportunities for for cyber cheatle to come and take the take my boys. And so then I have to ask him.


Basketball, this one. You want this one? Let me have one. Let me get some more.


If Don Cheadle came to Cyber Cheatle, I mean, if Don Cheadle came to me, I'd be like, what's up, Don Cheadle? Let's let's get a good fucking hang going. But if it was Cyber Cheatle coming at me and he was like, I got one of your boys, and if you want him back, you're going to have to give me your Twitter followers at that. I want Cyber Cheatle to know preemptively. That would not be a difficult choice for me.


You may have you may have them. I am not doing anything with them right now. I need you. Mine is not my children.


Yeah, no, I would prefer to keep them around, but for them they're going to get bigger and do stuff to help around the house.


I'm just going to say I'm just going to sign off my Twitter account to the real, to the real Don Cheadle and have that be the sort of sunsetting of that particular sort of social media facet of my brand. And then that way, I think I will be able to get some sleep at night.


So you're going to just kind of put your Twitter followers in escrow with Don Cheadle for Cyber Cheatle? Yeah, we get him when he's ready. The benefit would be I mean, listen, there's no benefit to cyber child kidnapping your child, of course. But I would say the outside is chances are now real. Don Cheadle is going to show up to help you fight cyber cheatle because like, that's the only thing, because here's the thing. Cyber Cheatle sure has a lot of cyber abilities, but you can't be the original Don Dongseo.


He's crafty. He's going to find a way to beat cyber cheat all night and a basketball game he can't plug in to the Internet. I download math homework and stuff like that. He would be say and let's let's be honest, cyber cheatle would be a better father than I could could ever be with my human meat brain and body. And that's something I just got to kind of live with.


Can Cyber Cheatle love? Do they address that in the Entertainment Weekly article? Let me scroll through here and see if the Cyber Cheatle can love can you control F can love love his real name.


These are CGI to Looney Tunes. So that's one thing. So it's going to look weird. Does M.J. show up in the movie?


Mm. Um, yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely.


You know what, I am decisive about the fact it was stupid for me to have any indecision or 100 percent chance Bill Murray to Bill Murray.


Murray is not well, Bill Murray is one hundred percent. They would want Bill Murray not. Thirty eight percent chance Bill Murray actually wanders onto the set.


The day of filming seems so weird that Wayne Night Wayne nine would be a weird pull for the kids. I feel like they don't. He was a weird pull is weird, but it was something for the grown ups.


You know, you love Dennis Nedry. Who's the pole now? Do you think it's like a young Shelden. You get a young Shelden in there, the character young Sheldon Whitehouse.


I won't name who all is owned by Warner Brothers, Warner Bros. IP. I'm going to search Warner Bros.


IP and just see like who we can get supernatural speaking. It's supernatural in there about young Shelden. Sidney looked at me three nights ago or sitting watching is actually this Buckwild YouTube show called Armchair Detectives from the UK. That's like a murder mystery TV game show. That laser from the double click hooked me into Buckwild. Anyway, we're watching it and she looks over at me while I'm trying to calculate, you know, who done it. You can read for starters.


She looks at me and she says, Did you hear that young Sheldon introduced a plot point that messed up Big Bang Theory continuity? Why?


I looked at her. I like her.


And I just I had this thought, like, what did you do with my fucking wife?


Because neither of us have ever watched either of these shows. It is so insane that she can bring that to me like a dead bird that she caught out in the street, but also that she saw that headline is like, tell me more. I don't care about either of these things. I'm but I'm hooked on this this topic.


There's layers about that. Right. Because, of course, there's the layers of like, why why would she think you would care? Why did she care? Why did it register with her? But then the deeper level of who cares, who cares. Like what? I'm not even saying that there aren't people out there who love Big Bang Theory. Of course they are. But who loves Big Bang Theory for the continuity? Who's who's watching Big Bang Theory?


There's always somebody.


I'm just going through the list. Is everybody all the Lego Movie, that whole that whole squad is in there. But let's I mean, we could tap in a little bit deeper and we could go osmosis. Jones shows up to fight the basketball like some of the characters from Police Academy could do it. The Hangover guys, we love them and their barf and their dicks.


Oh, you know, Zach Galifianakis could fail the late night roll.


Yes. Yeah, that could do it. They have they have tapped him. I think Willy Wonka, there's there's a lot of options.


But anyway, this is. Should we start doing the show?


Yeah, I've, I have something else I want to do first, and this is it. Apologize to me because for. I'm sorry.


For what.


Well, just a lot of people pointed out that last episode, the two of you were a little bit mean to yours truly about my wonderful goofs and about all this slam jam.


Yeah. All the three pointers that I was just swishing left and right.


Nothing but net. Interesting. Yeah.


And you guys are being a little mean about that. I think you'll see in retrospect. Oh, I retrospect, when we go back to that episode. Yeah. I'm prepared to accept your apology unconditionally.


OK, well you'll get that, get that off the air. Yeah. Wow.


I feel like oh I feel like there are people out there who would just really like to see the brand strengthened a little bit. Oh shit. Hello. But we did it in America. We tested the political asylum and we did it Fraizer baby, he's coming back.


We did it. This is our victory lap. Scram. Come on, come on, come on again. Where did you find this, this fucking ranch? Yeah, he is on YouTube. Pomegranate honey sauce, Grandma Frazier theme romance top. Right. I think they should license this.


Frazier is back.


Turn this down a little bit. I should ask for permission, but let's go listen to it on YouTube right now. See his so Fraziers back.


Baby, I got the press release right here. You know, let me tell you about it then we can talk about it deeper because I feel like this is really juicy stuff. And this is what the press this is the press release for it. And from from the the CBS company, from the Viacom honchos.


Frazier's back. Yeah, he's more exactly the same than ever.


Huh. Huh. Why do I like that. Right. It's kind of good. Is that good. It's kind of.


Well OK. Do I like it or is am I just so confused by it that I don't know if I like it or not.


Huh. Well, he's got they recently announced Kelsey Grammer will will reprise.


Oh, thank God. Celebrate his role as Dr. Frasier Crane in the new original comedy series.


They're calling it as Frasier.




OK, I'm kind of frustrated by that. I feel like that is that is the only bitter note of this particular symphony is like, come on, just call Crane.


Can we it is interesting, if you call it Crane, then I can put the box sets next to each other. Just complete the name, is it not?


I mean, are we married to that?


Can we not punch it up a little bit and like go with like Frasier Frasier unleashed earlier, like, oh, a game of Frasier, Frasier 2000 Frasier and is good Frasier. Twenty access to Frasier fast to Frasier as it's going to direct. I didn't think you would land it then.


You kind of did accidentally have a spill over twenty years of my creative life on the Paramount lot, both producing shows and performing in several.


This is the dog talking right now.


This is this is Frasier himself, having spent over twenty years of my creative life on the Paramount lot, both producing shows and performing in several, I'd like to congratulate Paramount Plus on its entry into the streaming world, this quote.


I came by Stu. He's so good because he's like, you know, he with three people and he's like, how can I definitely, definitely, definitely make it seem like I did not need this guy. Definitely make it seem like I've been doing lots of other things and do not mean Frazier.


I don't need Frazier said Frazier needs major needs.


He said grammar issues target the culturally right.


Frazier called me and asked me to come to the show. And who am I to say no to an old friend?


Frazier said he was ready to like that picture of Marty McFly is really all I can save him the culture. But apparently they give me about my brother, my brother B, and none of their listeners know what they're talking about. And rather than an increasing awareness of Frazier, was actually decreasing awareness of Frazier somehow.


And so Frazier and I have traded places inside of the giant dark mirror that resides in my basement.


And now I fell down the fucking man.


I gleefully anticipate sharing the next chapter of the continuing journey of Dr. Frasier Crane with Frasier himself.


Frasier is one of the most acclaimed comedies in modern television history and truly defines premium storytelling, said Daily Stop Primo Primo, president of CBS Studios.


There has been a long call from fans for its return, and that call was dimmed only by the fact that many of them died and then got a little quieter. But then it's streaming. So what can you do?


You know, sometimes you would just kind of walk outside, especially if you lived in the big city. You'd walk outside and you would just hear people just screaming, right?


Yeah. Yeah.


There has been a lot of coverage. And that call is now answered thanks to the amazing Kelsey Grammer reprising.


He's like kind of role of Dr. Frasier Crane and a brilliant creative player from Joe, Chris and Kelsey. That's the team that's bringing the show.


We can't wait to reveal its next chapter on Paramount. Plus, I'm assuming the pitch, meaning for that brilliant creative plan was they walked in and there was a chalkboard and somebody wrote Frasier and the other person walked up and put an S at the end of our pitch.


OK, OK. We don't have to spend too long on this, but I just want you guys to eat. Each of us is going to say one thing that you think that they are going to add to Frasier to make it new and quote unquote better.


It's not it's the it's more Frasier than we're talking about why this show is going to present the most fucking pure joy per minute of any program. Imagine the episode where they're like, Frasier, you have to join Twitter. Imagine the episode where we're by the thing we're making a ticktock to to promote your radio show or drug.


You are missing one sad but very true fact that that is that John Mahoney, a.k.a. Martin Crane, passed away in twenty eighteen.


Yeah, I am a little bit bummed about the absolutely obligatory cemetery visit that will be like or like. What do you think it'll be like a a champagne toast at some point. Hey for Dad.


Oh there's going to be a picture on the mantle that they will occasionally reference. Yeah, for sure.


And I mean it's it's such a shit that I can just go ahead and write this, but it's to Dad. To Dad Niles. And he drinks and he goes, it goes is this, is this Manischewitz.


And then the audience like laughs and claps and claps and claps.


Well they're going to sip beer. It'll be beer as a cheers. Oh beer for dad.


They open up perhaps and he drinks it and it's like all of those races and then they start kissing it off. What. Yeah. Yeah.


Now the question is though, because the whole structure was old dad, who seems to be down to earth, regular person moves in with elitist, classist right side and hilarity ensues. Now, is it just going to be elitist, crassest son?


Not everything about it. It's so good. Is it all right? It's going to send to me are you kidding me? I'm going to touch it. I think I think I'll touch it. Miles has got to come back right now. He's got to know.


David Hyde Pierce is too busy with the Vulcan Osmosis Jones TV show on the WB. He doesn't have the time for that.


I'm just saying, I don't think it's as much a slam dunk as you might think that he will be back.


He's got to come back then.


Does Daphne come back to work on some of these people? But I'm sure there have. Usually if someone disappears like this, you just you can assume they're having like a fucking great stage career over in England. Not now. Right. But like a great stage career angle, working with the fucking RISC or something. And like, oh, yeah, they're actually so talented and they want to leave that behind. And then Uncle Paramount shows up with a huge cheque and they're like, sorry, Heathers, shit the bed.


So now you guys are out. But if America still wants this so happy, do you think Kelsey's going to give.


Do you think Tim Allen has been giving Kelsey Grammer some tips on like here's how you cook it.


But but if he has their bad tips, GRIFFIN Tim. And it's not like it sucks that Cookie Cook says I'm a piece of shit and he waves it around. I'm like, yeah, like he's like, I don't know, like a fucking piece of shit magician whose reveal is I'm a piece of shit. Yeah.


We went, we really need to help people. But isn't it weird how Tim Allen, Tim Allen is allowed to keep sucking ass and America refuses to freak out about it if he gets to keep his TV show?


It's like America has this one weird deal with Tim Allen where it's like you knew what I was when you picked me up, like, oh, yeah, watch my show Home Improvement, where I was a sack of shit for ten years, like. Yeah, right. Correct. You got me. This is none of this is surprising. We like he made a deal with the devil, but instead of wishing for immortality, he wished for immortal fame and now he hates it and he's trying to get rid of it at every turn.


And he's peaceful.


Yeah. We all we all see him as we speak.


We spit on his feet. We spit on his face. We hate seeing him in the street in he's like, but I'm but I am still Buzz Lightyear. You do have to respect that.


I like you. Not anymore.


Chris Evans is Buzz Lightyear.


Now, that's they they they did it. They did make an entirely new Buzz Lightyear show just so they could get ready to rumble.


They killed old Buzz Lightyear and squished him and used his melted plastic to make a young cool Buzz Lightyear. But then they said, oh, but this breaks his famous cause of the devil. We're going to give him back a home improvement style game show. Costarring Richard Can't fuck are you talking about?


Yeah, dude, what are you talking about. Got another show. Yeah. Tim Allen and Richard Caan have a new home. It's a competition show is called Your Assembly Required.


Assembly required.


There it is for history DIY they done made the damned home improvement fake fake show. Yeah they made tooltip life.


God, it's good, everything. Hey, listen, everything's turning around, and I know it's been hard for a while, this has been a challenging time, but it's but it's turning on a different axis.


Yeah, that's what's it it's like it's not like things were getting very, very bad and now they've.


You turned to be good. No, it's like Dave. It's like they've sort of they've done almost like a four leaf clover turn into a different like now the turn it's it's the direction has a New York.


It's like missable, it's like in the rock in the suburbs of India where there's the knob that has like rock and such and things got turned to suck. But now instead of them being turned to rock, the knob is just sinking into the console side.


Yeah, right. It's there's the knob has depth now. It's like for a while everything was really bad and a little bit weird and and whoever's in control of the knobs said, OK, we get it, I'll fix it. And then they turned it. So it's a lot of bad and a lot of weird. And it's like, well now the weird is yeah, it is kind of distracting from the bad for sure, but it is still bad.


Pretty bad. But the weird is also very weird.


OK, this is not going to be one. Why is everything returning to twenty three. Why is there. It's like you know what we need back tool time, not even Home Improvement fucking Tool Time and Fraser.


What if the Fraizer reboot was him doing and advice radio program. It would basically be my brother, my brother and me and Frazier that would be so good.


And now watch this show. It's just a twenty four hour live stream from Central Park, a made up coffee shop. But now we've built it in real life and you can watch security cameras while people drink coffee.


If they made a real Central Park in New York, it would be the most profitable business ever. Yeah, yeah, I've done that. Get you to get it together. It's probably in Abu Dhabi or something.


You know, they made a whole park based off of it. They call it a Central Park.


OK, how's it go.


And your intro privileges have been returned. Yeah, it's this is not going to be one of those. This is going to be a regular episode with a long and drought.


Did you guys know that Kelsey Grammer did voice acting in one video game called Quest for the Code, which is an educational game about asthma in which you played a bad guy named Mucus?


Er gone, huh? That game had Cuba Gooding Jr. in it and Woofy Golberg and Funkmaster Flex and Jeff Goldblum and Shaquille O'Neal and Glenn Close and Gwyneth Paltrow all in this great game.


Yeah. Now I know what I'm going to stream on Twitter tonight. Yeah.


Damn. Well that actually now I don't have time to do anything.


We are going to get a break, but after the break afternoon we go the money zone.


It would be just like a regular episode where I won't even do much squat if you don't want me to just do questions and it'll be nice and chill out, ok? Yeah.


I love it. Let's go. I want to say that if you haven't tried to investigate yet, you are sincerely missing out. I am loving son back. You know, I have last night it was so good, Wyoming roast chicken with some like chili spices and a cabbage slaw with pizzas in there all stewed together for a long time.


It's dee licious. I got to. Hey, Justin, I'm getting recipes from the service of things I've never even heard of. Eggs in Purgatory. Don't mind if I do actually.


That's so while I've heard too much about them getting dinner on the table quickly doesn't have to mean sacrificing nutrition. Some basket is cool because it's mail delivery service, but you can get some recipes tailored to however you and your family like to eat. So it's not like a one size fits all thing. There's lots of recipes you can choose from.


It's fun to there's usually like twenty recipes or something more like that I encountered.


And and not only that Chaiman. Yeah. Not only is it a service that will send you ingredients, you make them yourself.


They now have fresh and ready meals, but they come freshly prepared, ready to heat up in as little as six minutes.


No, no B.S. That's our plan for once the baby gets here is to have some of those in our in our refrigerator rock and roll.


Yeah, they're just eight ninety nine. And it includes meals like butter, chicken with basmati rice pilaf, beef chili with cheddar and Greek yogurt, creamy mushroom penname with baby spinach and almonds. It's amazing.


I'm so hungry right now. Son Baskin is offering thirty five dollars off your order when you go right now to send basket dotcom slash my brother and enter promo code my brother at checkout. That's sun basket dot com slash. My brother did a promo code my brother at checkout for thirty dollars off your order. Sun basket dot com slash my brother and enter promo code. My brother.


Can I tell you guys about clip. So it's a science fact that no one likes brushing their teeth. It's terrible. It's horrible. Yeah. I mean you'll do it right. You need to but I don't know anybody. It's like oh I can't wait before bed tonight. I'm gonna brush my teeth.


It's not like a thing you look forward to until now. And let me tell you why. Because of clip. Clip has revolutionized oral care for me. Because the toothbrush, it's easy to use.


It's got that two minute timer where it pulses every thirty seconds to tell you to switch.


So like, you know, you're getting the right brushing time. But also it Bluetooth connects to your phone so that you can get rewards for it. That's great. Then there's the flossing thing, which is really cool. Make sure you only use the flashing lights of course, and you feel cool doing it like some kind of a spaceman.


And now they've got gum that is good for your teeth. Clip has launched a new gum. It comes at a great dispenser that reminds you of those One-Click candies.


Check in, check it. Check it.


Oh oh oh oh.


Like that. I could actually have an oral cowboy. Little action, maybe not an oral cow.


OK, can we talk about can we talk about oral cowboy. And let's do a quick, just a quick meeting of the triumvirate.


Do you think we got to take our eyes out, oral cowboy? No, I think there's going to be some people I agree if some people aren't going to love it.


But you can't let that one thing share taught me with Twitter is you can't let other people take your shine.


And one thing I've learned about Tim Allen is that cancer culture doesn't exist. So I think you can say whatever you want. Tim can't get him all. He's quietly quipped, gum can help prevent cavities and fresh and Buratha when chewed for twenty minutes after eating it sugar free. As to the friendly xylitol with zero calories. And it's not a substitute for enforcing, but it is a great support for your oral health parent with that clip. Electric toothbrush, refillable floss.


You're good to go. And if you go to get clipped dotcoms, my brother, right now you can get a free plastic dispenser with any refill plan. That's a free dispenser. I get clipped dotcom, slash my brother, get QIP Dotcom, my brother quip that good habits company.


Hey, I'm Janet Varney, host of the J.V. Club podcast Oh, high school was at a time of adventure, romance and discovery about the fight with the.


Or a time of angst, disappointment and confusion. We're all tied together by four years of trauma at this place, but enjoy adulthood, I guess.


The truth is it was both.


So join me on the JV Club podcast, where I invite some great friends like Kristen Bell, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Neil Patrick Harris and Keegan Michael Key to talk about high school, the good, the bad and everything in between.


My teenage mood swings are getting harder to manage the JV club, find it on maximum fun. All right, so now we can have actual and the first question is so powerful and I need it in our lives this Valentine's Day, my partner and I were a bit adventurous in the bedroom. Oh, yeah. And I ended up injuring my leg.


I work in retail, which requires a lot of physical labor, and this new injury will stop me from doing as I normally do.


OK, is it gotten to be becoming like Wario or not having sex?


I didn't stretch properly that since your crib keeper Berwari or our lovers very close.


How do I explain this injury to my boss and co-workers without looking like a sex fiend?


That's from Love Second Summerset.


Why not now? Why now? OK, it's 20 21. Why do I do this?


Say, why do I think you know, I'm just. Thank you.


Listen, I wouldn't do it, but I'm saying maybe you're the one to start the revolution to kind of destigmatize love making this fucking workplace harassment.


How do you how do you love. No, Gajanan love baking with my partner.


How long I need to turn off my headphones so I can hear that dumb shit you're saying.


OK, ok, you're wrong. OK, you can't go to the work imaginal. Like imagine you're a prisoner at work, you're a prisoner there. And so it's like, like if fucking Rick hose over from the car stereo department and he's like I guess you're wondering about my cast. I wasn't but yeah, I could tell what's happening.


Well, me and my old lady were well, you know, the vertical tango and then I fucking fell off the bed.


I sleep in fuckin we do. I have a bunk bed with my business partner. Kevin has the lower bunk.


They can be my lady. We're doing a little bit of the forbidden love battle and I roll clean out of it.


But like I had asked Kevin if I could use the bottom bunk that night, but it being Valentine's Day, he had already had it with his wife.


And so we were we were making a real rump roast up there.


When I did slip off my leg, got caught in the ladder, snapped like that's not even when it broke. I was hanging there for an hour, say, hey, Kevin, can you help me? He said, I'm almost done. But the thing is, Kevin is notoriously long and his love took him out.


He did watch a lot of YouTube videos from Sting. Really slow down.


No, no, no. You go ahead and ask me the question. I know you're dying. I'm not dying to ask you. Did I finish? Oh, yes, I did. Kevin did not did not finish. It's a problem with Kevin for me. Dangling upside down from a ladder with my leg broken in four places, tibia and fibula.


Yes, I did finish for the first time ever. So that's my thing. That's why then unfortunately, just my own burden to bear. What I need you to do is come over and Kathy Bates, me in Missouri and just right when I'm about to climb, tauntingly Shater, Matemwe in Macedonia, Qadam, just shatter them.


I don't have that old lady. I'm sorry I lied about that part. It was self pleasuring rolled right off the bed. I got it. I need to not pull so hard. I guess I'll be back. I got costarring. Damn it doesn't always happen just when things are going. You can't.


That's not what I was. I wasn't pitching volunteer. I'm saying if your boss is like how did you hurt yourself? I think you do a first deflection.


Like I don't really want to talk about it. And then they're going to push it. Because, of course, if you hear someone say, I don't really want to talk about it. They probably do know. Well, that's what everyone is, your point of view is so different from mine. No, I'm not saying that it's true. I'm saying that that's what everybody assumes they're going to say, like, oh, come on.


And then you're going to say, I injured myself making love with my partner this Valentine's Day where you've gone terribly fucking awry.


You can't you can't set a sexual harassment honeypot for people that lures them into asking innocent questions that are followed by a sexual rejoinder. You simply can't. OK, then let me pitch this. Not in this environment. Slightly different. Slightly. They ask how you hurt your leg. You tell them you went to see the big game. You're sitting in the stands. Quarterback got injured. They asked you to step in because they knew that you used to play in college.


You stepped in, you won the big game, but in the process shattered your leg. They can read all about it on your blog.


OK, but then you do have to start a blog. OK, that's the one. Catch that. And I don't see any way of working around it. Frankly, I don't know how to avoid the blog problem, but you do need to start a blog and you're going to have to backdate a lot of posts so that your first post isn't you winning the big game and you're going to have to keep up with it afterwards. So does it seem like you just wrote that for a life that is very important?


Yeah, I feel bad that it's taken us this long to say this, but nice dude.


Hey, dude, why is it not.


Hold on is the nice because they engaged in lovemaking with their partner or because they enjoyed themselves doing it.


Nice. You know, I get I guess Girvan.


I'm just confused and we all been there nice. We've all broken our leg. It's so sick that like somebody who's this cool listens to our show.


Yeah. It's so fucking rad.


Hey, I have the Yahoo here. And this one this one was sent in by Graham Grandma about. Thank you Graham. It's Yahoo! Answers. You see they're anonymous.


So I'll call them free for you sir. Just say freeze your ass. Yeah. Why don't break rooms have mechanical balls. Thank you.


I think I speak for all of us when I say every workplace needs a mechanical bull in their breakroom, it would really liven up another otherwise dull day at work.


Well, I guess it depends on how to speak for me on this particular subject. You do not reflect my needs and interests.


I mean, the ideal is always like a foosball table or an air hockey table. That's what you want in the break room. But of course, you're not going to put that in because then your employees are going to go over every break. Mechanical bull.


I will say the other side of this as now I'm a boss in the scenario I know at most are staying on that thing for like two minutes. Right. It's not going to be like I'll get back to work. I'm on a twenty minute run, boss. I just can't give up now. Like, that's not going to happen. I'm getting them back out there. Yeah. Know the turn around. It's quick.


Have you ever even had a little bit of interest.


Have you ever seen him. I first of all, I've never been to a place that has a mechanical bull in it. Really? Yeah, but I've never. You live in Texas, right? Well, sorry. I've been lots of places with real bulls in it.


Oh, OK. Yeah, but I don't think I've ever seen one. I've been like that seems like a fun adventure for Griffin. That seems like a fun adventure for you to go on.


It just feels like, you know, day to day. I'm a thirty seven year old now and as I look around in the world, even in my own home, I see things that could potentially destroy me. Right. And even just stepping on flat ground. Wrong. Right. The idea that then I would say I'm going to get on that thing. Fed is trying to bruise my Gooch so bad that it is literally its only purpose.


And again, a feature, not a bug. A feature of the mechanical bull is is Googe Brunsdon.


It's the design of the thing. It's like when they were doing R&D on it, they were like, do you think this is Brous, the Googe too much? And they said too much.


We want more, we want to design so that people can't stay on that risk of permanently injuring themselves.


Yeah, I don't know that there's a mechanical animal I would want to get to. Oh yeah.


I don't know if there was a mechanical man at a bar and he would give me a piggyback ride that seems like, oh, I take my back, I'm Mr. Robot to walk you around just like oh see I love that.


I would actually do.


You're welcome, Grace. Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, there's a bad ass answer here. There's a bad ass answer here. The only not bad ass thing about it is that anonymous users. So I'm going to call them Gmail and Gmail and respond to this question said it's a liability issue.


Some snowflake will end up. Cracking their head open and sue, how about a meat cone station break room should have a meat cone station and all of the fixings to whip up an awesome hero.


Wow. Fuck, yeah. How incredibly specific. Not like build your own sandwich station. I mean, cone euro station.


I don't think I don't know that meat cone is what that voice is called.


Not at all. But I it's but this person is clearly a fucking Rasta snowflake.


So they got us out of here. Yeah. Cause real tough people, non snowflakes, pebbles, if you will.


I'm just trying to think of something like opposite of a snowflake would ride on it and they'd fall off and crack their head open and stand up and be like, it's cool. They'd say, I'm cool. All my fault. Right. But then I walk into the H in our block breakroom and I'm like, Mizer mechanical bull here. And my boss is like, right it or you're old, you'll be fired. You write it and immediately bux me back into the wall.


That is sort of immediately adjacent to the ceiling because it's not that high, it's a drop ceiling but slight.


And I break every bone and then I'm if only I'd been more sort of outdoorsy and just kind of a weener at that point of view cry, you know what I mean.


Like imagine if oh, imagine if you were such like a little crybaby, you had to go to the hospital because of the bones you broke riding the mechanical bull and the H in our block breakroom. Can you imagine how would you ever live that down. Right.


Oh my God. I'd be so embarrassed. Yeah.


They should just be a meat station and spend some fat and then, you know, some vegetarians are going to be like, oh, you're right, some snowflake.


We should probably make it an impossible meat cone and then have maybe some gluten free bun options.


Yeah, not for me.


I mean, I'm lucky that ironically way I'm gonna get off that Boerma slice of some of that meat and I might eat it between two big Dr. Seuss books and possible meat count.


It is made of roast beef, but it's in non Euclidean spices.


And it's a swirl of me, a miasma of meat, I call it.


The meat has when I cut it, more meat shows up on it. Yes. And it's more meat than there was before. So cut it sparingly lest it take over our plane of existence.


Another question.


Yes. Yeah, I just got a job at a Midwest gas station. I just got a job at a Midwest gas station. Ba ba ba ba ba ba.


It sells great pizza, but I remember I'm trying to get into the blues.


Yeah. It sounds like you're halfway there.


I saw a thing recently where I was like, if you only sing every other line of the blues, it sounds like you're having a great day.


I got a great job, but na na na na na na na na.


And I love like you just leave out the bad parts.


It's a great time, ok.


I work in the kitchen or every hour on the hour.


Do we place it. Major pizza slices in the warmer. And the problem is any pizza left over from literally just an hour ago go straight into the garbage, which should be a crime.


I am, of course, going through a phase all 40 year old white man go through where they become says to the blues, I have it now.


Well, it doesn't have all the blues stuff. Come for us all. Travel, man. It happened to good.


It happened. The blues should happen. The blues should happen to Akroyd havig. And having the blues again, I think it probably came back around and hit the third secret blues which happens to all of us.


Should I steal these sweet slices from dying? Unfulfilled is so how, considering I'm not always alone in the kitchen, the pizza rack can be seen and access from the lobby and there are cameras. Any inside will be great. And that's from garbage pizza man, huh.


I mean, I'm, I'm sure there's lots of ways to get this pizza to hungry people that need it that you could I'm sure you can figure out some kind of some kind of pipeline pizza pipeline there.


Yeah, I'm willing to bet. OK, I'm assuming here I've had lots of jobs in my time. Right.


And across all of them, the the I would say the similar scenario is that the boss directly above you, not the higher boss, but I mean whoever's like shift manager or whatever, they barely care.


Yeah. They care enough to have gotten a job above you, but not so much that they want to be in charge. And so I would say. Not asking it and saying, hey, I'm going to take this leftover pizza and and give it to people who need it, and that person is going to say, OK, OK, go for it, whatever, man.


Now, if you say, can I? They'll say, I don't think you can. I don't think you're supposed to. But if you say it as though you already know you're supposed to, they won't question it.


Yeah, this is this isn't a tough one. I don't think anyone's going to come at you. Well, I say that, but they did have sort of a recent situation here where were they had armed guards protecting a dumpster that had food on it so that people couldn't take that free food, by which I mean that was the food that was in the dumpster.


So in this sort of like capitalist society that we all are sort of prisoners of, it is difficult to say what is silly and what isn't.


Really. I'm saying that you could be the gas station, pizza, Robin Hood, if Robin Hood went to carriages and said, hey, do you have any stuff you're about?


Are you are you done with that? I'll take it and give it to people who fucking need it. Yeah. And people are like this.


How long have you arrested? He's always a problem for us and for them. This is a crime. I mean, this is always a tricky thing, right, because if you are giving the food away after a certain period of time, then as a customer of the place, buying that pizza becomes an immoral act. Interesting. Interesting.


Major, does this right, Prettyman Share donates their food. Is that how it's pronounced? How to donate?


Don't say anything else. Traves the next door to hear out of your lips. Better be how you thought that was pronounced.


Well I've only heard it said two words point out of your mouth.


Prettyman ZHAY I. I mean probably your way sounds fucking highfalutin.


OK, I've only heard a song by James Castro frankly.


We're going to check, we're going to check YouTube real quick. Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. We are looking at how to pronounce the name of this international sandwich shop chain. Well, that's already a mouthful to say in a sandwich shop chain based in the United Kingdom, popularly referred to as simply print.


So how would you go about pronouncing seaways that literally comes from French, meaning ready to eat, ready to eat?


Well, there he goes. Travis Roy, the emoji.


But in English, it's normally referred to as Pritam Ray Great. Tom, Andre, Preetam, O.J. from French, Pritam Andre. I go.


There it is. Travis nailed it. I've been learning the French art babble. Thank you Julian Fredette's forget.


But that was, that was fucking hypnotic.


Yeah. If that had gone on for 20 minutes that would have been the best show.


Yeah. A very good episode. I think, I think of the latest.


My brother, my brother, me. I'm glad they finally added that French brother. Yeah. Got a lot better. Me, Michel.


The one brother that's like sonically appealing. Yeah. The one that I actually don't mind hearing talk right now.


Do we want another real quick Yahoo! Yeah. Can I just tell you guys, I don't I don't want to make this into a mod squad but can say some voice. So much content you can't finish it. I said I wasn't going to do it.


Yeah, but it's going to be this is like timely. And I just wanted to share it real quick.


You hear about did you hear what Mountain Dew is doing? What? Mountain Dew?


Hey, they're doing something on top of just their usual already pretty wild thing. Here's what they do. It ready.


Mountain Dew is making a mountain news, bringing Bob Ross back from the dead, why be fake to paint on YouTube to a YouTube video of him painting Mountain Dew bottle for continuity now?


But listen, if he is stayed alive, then he would he would have done this anyway.


So it's like it's like not that big a deal, just in the sense that you said sounds like a bot was fed a bunch of wild headlines. Yeah. From the last 10 years.


And that's what I fucking spit out and lost. It's a lost episode is how it's being presented. The last episode will premiere on YouTube on March 6th and will feature a long form video tutorial for donation.


I declare myself president, by the way, of donation to tune in and pick up paintbrushes to create happy little droplets upon a dew inspired scenic canvas.


Alongside the video tutorial, fans will see this campaign come to life through 15 and second television 30 second television commercials or inspiring all to embrace their creativity and do it at their leisure.


I'm inspired here. I'm inspired to never die because this is what happened. The reality of this is a a Mountain Dew.


A Pepsi co executive had to approach a member of Bob Ross's family indeed. And say, we'd like to give you a couple sackfuls of money. Right. To take the ghost of Bob Ross and use him to promote our extreme soft drink, Mountain Dew.


And someone in the family had to be like, this is what dad this sounds exactly.


Oh, the old man love to do that, too. Now, I don't I don't begrudge the family on this. By the way, Bob Ross passed away. If I passed away, I want my kids to join me in a fucking Mountain Dew commercial we can get their hands on.


So, yes, if my kid wants to do it now, I'm ready.


If I take me kid, if the Mountain Dew cyber necromancers come to my house and they go to my two beautiful sons and they say, we do have to unfortunately we do have to generate a full 3D nude mesh of your father in order to get this commercial across the finish line. I want I want my two sons to say, like, yes, make us make a virtual nude version of my dead father so we can get that Mountain Dew money because I want my legacy to leave.


What I'm pointing out is the executive that there had to be a meeting where someone said, we're doing this right. We're going to approach them. We're going to ask them if we can use their dad.


Their dad asked father, their dad has decided to sell Mandu. We're doing it well because we all laughed about it when we first said it. And then we kind of stopped laughing. And then it started to seem like we were really going to do it. And I have to ask, are we really going to do this?


OK, it's funny because Bob Ross probably doesn't have anything to do with the Mountain Dew brand because the Mountain Dew brand is so antithetical to the Bob Ross brand. And that's what makes it so funny on Bob Ross.


Yes. Do it. See him in his.


Yeah, it's like I can imagine what if it ends with him? Like he's almost done painting and he just sighs deeply and his arm falls to his side. He's like, I can't do this. What the fuck is that really the really guys? I can't. And he just like, punches the canvas, then walks off. If Cyber Ross Hollow Bob Brass, an algorithm, had had to sort of battle for the future of Twitter, yeah, this I'm not kidding.


This conversation has made me want to lie down because it is it just did say it's twenty, twenty one. And this is this does feel like twenty, twenty one in then a very deeply Animatrix way.


That really makes me want to just sort of lay down on the ground and just think to recap some happy little droplets, OK, sometimes in life you get a little thirsty and want a refreshing opportunity. No, no, you can just. What is this? This tastes like piss the future does not pass. I'm glad I'm dead.


Just to recap, in this episode, Fraser's back. Yeah, the tool man Taylor.


Tim Tim is fine. Bugs is banished.


Bugs is out back. Yeah. Bob Ross is back. What year is it? Yeah, what year is it? What episode is it? Well, it was five fifty one but that is in the in the past and the rear-View, we've experienced it, we've done it, we've lived it together, we made it through together. But time is a flat circle.


So maybe one hundred episodes from now it will be episode five hundred fifty one again.


Hey, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you. You're the best. Yeah, that is true. I'm going to tell you about some exciting things before we wrap up this. A new theme song is not yet, is it?


No, I think next week. It's very good. It's very good. Good.


We have partnered with I need diverse games. I need Diverse Games is an organization that works to improve exclusivity in gaming, not just like in streamers and players, but in the industry side as well. So we've partnered with them to do a series of grants for equipment to help people improve or start a podcast. The grants are designed for people of color who are looking to improve their equipment or start a new podcast.


And you can check that out over at any diverse games and submit your application for that. We're really excited to you over there, does great work and they do great work. So even if you're not interested in signing up for the grant, if that sounds like a cool organization, you should go over there and show them a little support.


I speaking of gaming, I've started doing a twitch and it's a whole lot of fun. And the community that is building over there is very nice.


And I'm really here for Show Me a fortnight dance. I'm so happy right now. That's real good trap. You can find me at Twitch TV, the Travis Roy, thanks to everybody who joined us for the Virtual Ties Live show on Friday. That video, by the way, is available until the 19th. You can find that at Live Dot, the MacRay family. We got our merch up over an hour merch store McCrorie, our partner of the month.


It's sausage to me is benefiting feeding Texas, which is the largest hunger relief organization in Texas. Currently the network is supporting warming shelters for the UN housed as well as those without power and water. In addition to replacing perished food and feeding Texans in need. We've also got a really great empty bullpen. We got twenty big dog run Pankow. Check those out. You can preorder the adventures of Crystal Kingdome. That's our new graphic novel coming out July 13th.


Twenty twenty one. You can preorder that over at the Adventure Zone Comic-Con.


That's that's it. That's not going to take up anything else. Travis really banged it all out there. So I'm going to do the final Yahoo! It was sent in by Phaedra. Thank you.


It's a Yahoo! Answers user. Just questionmark.


They ask, is there a way to stop the apples on my tree from growing?


If I want to keep the tree and I'm inundated by the large apple amount? My name is just a macro on Travis Mac.


I'm Griffin Mac. Right. It's been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.


OK, that was the show. You had some fun talking for an hour, and now our job is done, go back into the world. Please don't tell our grandparents all the cuss words we said. Maximum fun dog comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.