Transcribe your podcast
[00:00:00]

Guys, today, we're very excited to be sharing the network premiere episode of Lady to Lady, the newest podcast that we're adding to our exactly right family. Lady to Lady is hosted by three stand up comics and real life best friends, Babs Grey, Tess Parker and Brandy Posey. And each week they invite a special guest to play sleepover games, answer advice and delve into ridiculous tangents.

[00:00:22]

Upcoming guests include best selling Annaleigh, Ashford and Seona Obsession. The Exactly Right Premiere episode features Karen Kilgariff. New episodes are every Wednesday, plus they have three hundred back episodes with tons of amazing artists. Enjoy the Exactly Right Network premiere episode here and then head over to Lady to Lady for a brand new episode out today. Subscribe to Lady to Lady on Stitcher Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. If you like what you hear right. The latest review and follow them on Instagram at Lady to Lady Comedy on Twitter at Lady, the number two lady comedy and on Facebook at Lady The Word to Lady Comedy.

[00:01:01]

Goodbye erm Babs Grey.

[00:01:04]

And it's a good day when you find out it isn't your Backstreet Boy that's in the Q and on.

[00:01:11]

I'm Brandy Posey and I can assure you these skeleton gloves are strictly professional. I'm Tess Barker and if food is bad for you it should taste good. And this is lady to lady. Can you keep a secret? Neither can we. Sure, for every one. That's the fucking best. Come on, baby, it's time. Oh, my gosh, you guys, we're here. We get it. My God. We made it through the road trip, we got all the snacks we have arrived.

[00:02:01]

We are on exactly right. Absolutely so excited. The last episode of the podcast, we did it. We're at the very end. We're all doing one episode on. Exactly right.

[00:02:12]

And that's why we're so excited to be on the network and we're so excited to have our first guest co-host of the my favorite murder podcast, Karen Kilgariff.

[00:02:25]

Oh, hi, everybody. Oh, my God. You guys shipped in children for me? Yeah, absolutely.

[00:02:33]

Yeah, we have a tiny drawer of them. It's a subscription service. The cutest little children cheering for me. Yeah.

[00:02:40]

When we checked, we checked there. We did the COVA test up their noses before recording to her every single time.

[00:02:45]

Good. That wasn't cheering. He's crying. Yeah. You're just like got your nose and then that means you tested it, you know, the whole nasal cavity. Yeah.

[00:02:55]

If you took if you took their nose away, could you get covid. You know what I mean. Oh I think so, yeah.

[00:03:00]

Because all the what do they call those things.

[00:03:02]

The droplets, all the droplets would go further without the nasal right. We don't need. All right. Top flight doctors trying to figure it out. That's fair. That's valid. I just we're getting to the bottom of it. Thanks for sitting through our theme song.

[00:03:20]

We decided to bring back on Zoome. We're playing the theme songs in person again. And it's really fun because we're really just holding the guests hostage while they listen to bad songs that we've made.

[00:03:28]

It's kind of it's my favorite part of podcasting is when the guest doesn't know when to come in and makes weird noises or says one word or fucks up the intro. I do it every time where I'm just like, well, you just said a thing. I need to say the thing I don't care if anyone said my name before. Totally well.

[00:03:44]

And the songs and zoom really out another special level because it's also it's just like all kind of dancing, but not looking at the screen because it would be weird to make time for you to each other.

[00:03:53]

Dead in the Silence of the Lambs were just like dancing. Right.

[00:03:59]

And I say that as a person who's been to both the silent disco and one of those like seven AM dance parties that we went to.

[00:04:06]

So I actually can't believe I've only been to half of that with you. I listen to both.

[00:04:12]

I've been to both because the silent disco was at a Taco Bell influencer house.

[00:04:18]

But what did it smell like?

[00:04:19]

They're bad. Pretty bad. You you know you know what it's like.

[00:04:23]

It's gotta be a combination of beef, cheese and, you know, lettuce supreme and and some kind of like G.O. for men like some kind of bad cologne. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:04:38]

There was a Mountain Dew blast cologne for men. Yeah. Oh God I. Oh my gosh. A Baja blast. It's the only thing that takes me to Taco Bell. I love it. It's my favorite soda.

[00:04:46]

It was like they rented this house in Silverlake to, like, roll out the grillers.

[00:04:52]

The grillers are now off the menu.

[00:04:54]

I just love the idea. You know, that was like a two year project. There was a project manager about the grillers roll out like there were so many serious meetings, I'm sure, about this party.

[00:05:03]

They had a meeting at a Taco Bell where there were like, how can we compete with 7-Eleven? They've got those rollers. We need to go up against the rollers. We need a food that's circular and that can get stuck on some kind of round grill all day long.

[00:05:19]

Yeah, exactly. But can have it like coagulated grease kind of showcase by the later above. Said rolling. Yes.

[00:05:26]

I mean, that's the thing about 7-Eleven is I guess you don't get that as much because the other when you're going to a fast food place, it's all hidden back there. But 7-Eleven, they're like, no, we're displaying it. You want you to see every inch of this shiny hotdog.

[00:05:39]

Look at what I can look at.

[00:05:41]

Frankly, frankly, I respect their transparency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to know that pizza has been there for hours. Thank you so much. I will stop by anyway because I have depression.

[00:05:52]

Thank you. I remember when I went to buy a pizza there once and the guy like didn't even tell me not to, he just did this little like shake of the head.

[00:06:01]

Like he was almost like he knows the camera's on him and he can't say the words out loud. He's just like it was like someone had a gun to his back.

[00:06:11]

He was just like, I don't do.

[00:06:14]

What if you. Did you do it? I did, of course. Yes. She can't be told. I cannot be told. I can do anything.

[00:06:24]

I am a garbage disposal. I was like, You think this is going to take me down? Absolutely not.

[00:06:29]

But what if he was trying to tell you he's the one he's like, I keep rubbing that on the front of my pants, like he's trying to tell you.

[00:06:36]

He was like, it's not a deal breaker, only a clean uniform.

[00:06:42]

Yeah, I really think he was trying to, like, be kind to me and be like as a person who's been here for the past eight hours, you don't think you should do this? And I was just like. This is ageism, I will eat this pizza, I don't care because honestly, frankly, I'm impressed that your seven a 7-Eleven worker cared that much. Our 7-Eleven and I live near each other. It changed over to new owners about a year ago, and now it's just run by there goes the neighborhood.

[00:07:11]

Apathetic teenagers are running our stuff. And we used to have a great staff.

[00:07:15]

We used to have a really solid team over there. And now that teens are on their phone, they don't care.

[00:07:23]

I love it when, like, a big a big chain says under new management because you're like, what happened to work?

[00:07:31]

It's a 7-Eleven. How come I don't come here for the customer service? It's never been a part of it. You make me serve myself in almost every capacity. Don't worry about the management.

[00:07:44]

Yeah, you'll see those big banners outside one.

[00:07:46]

It's like what was happening before. Oh, God, I don't want to know. You're still go to the bathroom, right? So who cares exactly.

[00:07:55]

Are you going to change the way you hand me back my change for my five Gatorade's three string cheese this in a candy bar or whatever.

[00:08:02]

I will say I've talked about this before, but I have a huge I love 7-Eleven. It's honestly one of my favorite stores, period. It makes me feel so safe. Like wherever you are in this great nation, like if you can find a savvy, you're going to be all right. It has what it's like a first aid kit for America, true?

[00:08:19]

Yes. Yes.

[00:08:20]

It's like a Starbucks went like did a lot of Molly is what 7-Eleven is going.

[00:08:25]

It feels like I mean, I feel like 7-Eleven has been around before Starbucks, right? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. So because we had a 7-Eleven near my grammar school and we weren't it was a school rule. You were not allowed to go to 7-Eleven.

[00:08:36]

So I was just like breaking this rule in five, four, three and I'm going in there.

[00:08:42]

Was it it was like because it was forbidden. It was like every every sense was heightened and every like every item you had, every item memorized.

[00:08:52]

What I love is since, you know, say, I was in junior high, they have really developed the jerky style and the jerky gummy I'll wear that used to almost not exist.

[00:09:05]

Like maybe you got some at the end of the aisle is like the specialty, you know, Slim Jims hanging down in a row.

[00:09:10]

But now it's almost like they're trying to say, oh, for all of you kids or all of you people, but like care about your carbs, come around the corner from, like, all the different kinds of snickers and you can get, you know, I don't know, peanuts and manja like do you like to chew?

[00:09:27]

But you're tired of gum.

[00:09:28]

Well, have you come to aisle three?

[00:09:32]

I have to say, I my boyfriend, I was talking to him about gummy candies and I was like, you know, peach gummies.

[00:09:39]

And he didn't know what they were. And it was like a weird moment. Yeah. Where's he from? Oh, yeah. Where's he. He's from upstate New York. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:48]

Oh they for sure have peaches in Rochester. They said it was one of those things where you're like, do we grow up in like an alternate universe? How do you not know what peach gummies are?

[00:09:56]

Do you prefer the the O's are like the solid ones that are like little rocks you could skip across the pond.

[00:10:02]

Solid, solid ones. All better. I like you know, I grew up on OS. Oh, this is a West Coast. East Coast Chad.

[00:10:09]

OK, this is you know what it is. There's a tactile I do love both because Peach is kind of my favorite gummy candy flavor.

[00:10:17]

The the Haribo kind, which are the solid ones are just like the first time I had that, I was just like, may I speak to the chef?

[00:10:25]

But but those rings, it really it's like you're eating a truly like you're eating plastic, which is part of what I'm in it for in the whole area.

[00:10:37]

Because when I was sorry about when I was in sixth grade, I got a Hello Kitty pen and pencil set with these erasers that smelled like fruit, but it was like they smelled so good that I would just hold them under my nose, like all day, like the weirdest girl in class and my fanis.

[00:10:53]

And then sometimes I would bite on them if nobody was around.

[00:10:57]

And my fantasy was, why doesn't Hello Kitty come out with erasers you can eat and then truly like that you're gummy.

[00:11:04]

Gummy candy was shipped to America as to where it was like, oh my God, my dreams I'm manifesting.

[00:11:13]

So I feel like gummy rings are really going into that area of like you're probably not supposed to eat this, but you can they feel very plastic because you're just just the flat part.

[00:11:24]

You could at least kind of operate under the assumption that it's a dried fruit, you know, a circular. Oh, that resembles a binder sticker your brains that your brain has. No no illusions about it. Yeah. Yeah, it has the mouthfeel of a keychain. Yeah.

[00:11:41]

It's like Florida. Eighty six. But you're eating it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

[00:11:46]

Well OK, while we're on the topic of this in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate and the Chocolate Factory, is that the name of the movie Charlie.

[00:11:54]

Whatever you know, you're talking about the movie, yeah, which what did you guys want to eat the most? Oh, the wallpaper. The wallpaper. But you only look at the wallpaper. You just wanted to taste the wallpaper. Yeah, well, I think it's kind of what you were talking about, Karen, of like I always like scratch and sniff stuff was like that for me.

[00:12:11]

Like I always wanted to eat my scratch and sniff markers and stuff like that. So to me, the wallpaper was like the closest the closest thing to that. Yeah, that makes sense.

[00:12:20]

I think I always when he has that buttercup, when they're in the chocolate room, he drinks out of that, he drinks it and then he bites it and then he bites it. That's it. That was totally it for me.

[00:12:30]

Barb, to where the first time I saw him do that and the look on his face, I was just like, could you imagine if you could eat just like in the weirdest, like as if that was what I'd been dreaming of all my life. Or you didn't even drink tea.

[00:12:44]

What do you why are you this excited?

[00:12:46]

Sometimes something seems to click for you and you're like, I didn't even know I wanted that. Now it's all I want.

[00:12:51]

And now I buy things I don't want or need all the time. Oh, Ray, your imagination. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:00]

The Chocolate Lazy River was like a constant thought in my head at all times. I was like, oh, if I could just toub through that and just I guess it up and then have like straws on either side.

[00:13:11]

If you guys want to go in a river that looks like that, just go up to central California. Very fair. Yeah. Stockton, Sacramento. They have a lot of rivers that look like that.

[00:13:21]

I remember watching that, though, and being like when Augustus Gloop goes into that river and he's like splashing around and gets sucked in the tube, I'm like, that's not chocolate, that's water.

[00:13:30]

That's like it's very watery.

[00:13:32]

It's so sorry that I was just like, that's not even a good chocolate river where it's like I, I think just to abate my jealousy a little bit, I was just like, it's not what you're dreaming. It is. So don't be that jealous of it. Augustus Gloop dying in chocolate.

[00:13:47]

All right. Like, I like the fact that this kid ends up getting suctioned up into a tube and you still had to quell your jealous.

[00:13:53]

I was just like, you know, there's another weird fantasy fetish.

[00:13:57]

I didn't know I had come down on down in that movie.

[00:14:03]

Unlocked a lot for a lot of people. Oh, yeah. Can I just say, well, let's talk about every scene.

[00:14:10]

But yes, there was something that really happened to me when I saw the four grandparents in one bed. And I don't know I don't know what if it was discussed?

[00:14:23]

I don't know. Like attraction, repulsion, I'm not sure. But it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. It was also like, please tell me what happened.

[00:14:31]

Did it happen to all of them at once? Like, was it a terrible car accident? Are they fucking lazy as hell? Like how our grandparents just laying in bed all day, facing each other, then it's like they're also married to each other, but then in the same bed with another couple, like everything about that was titillating.

[00:14:49]

Horrifying like what?

[00:14:52]

This is a fantasy world that's gone wrong. You don't think about that often. But they were their in-laws.

[00:14:58]

They were very Kanakis. Very easy. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:15:02]

It wasn't that big of a bed. I was just like, do they sleep? Is this just like a they don't have a couch every I had a thousand.

[00:15:09]

I think it was just that that's all they could that's all they could afford. But then there is a whole there's a really like a.. Grandpa Joe.

[00:15:15]

Movement online because there is there's a down a notch. Yes.

[00:15:22]

People have tried to cancel Grandpa Joe because when I fucking rolls don't carry them, you fucking assholes.

[00:15:36]

Because when he like when Charlie shows up with the chocolates, all of a sudden Joe can fucking walk for the first time in like thirty years.

[00:15:44]

I was like, this guy could have worked. Fuck them. They're making him and his mom work all the time. In the meanwhile, he could obviously get out of that bed any time he wanted. So it's a whole thing.

[00:15:53]

And also he's the one who, like, fucks up for them in the factory when he going to to go into the you know, the. Yeah, sorry.

[00:16:00]

I'm sorry. Grandpa Joe is human. A big you know, anything about inspiration where if you have if you're depressed and you have no inspiration, then suddenly an eight year old comes in and he's like, I want to fucking contest. You're like, oh my God, I'm digging it out of somewhere like he's a human being.

[00:16:15]

Everybody.

[00:16:16]

Exactly that. I'll be like, oh, I'm going to back in the before time. And I'm like, I'm going to stay in tonight and just watch reality TV. And then I find out about an event that has like open bar or free food.

[00:16:24]

Yeah, but only guess who can get dressed guys who can dig it out.

[00:16:27]

Yeah, I think my biggest, my biggest Grandpa Joe moment personally I can, I can recall was I was about to show my boyfriend Friday Night Lights like for the first episode, and then I got a text saying Tommy Wiseau was at a party that was for me.

[00:16:42]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I was telling me that Tommy was I was at a party and I had that moment where I was like, I have to I have to, grandpa. I know.

[00:16:49]

Like, I can't say it. But I think I just to be totally honest, like the reason this is making me laugh so hard is because for the past, like eight years, I've been Grandma Josephine so hard. I'm just like, nothing's getting me off of this couch bed. Weird sex thing with these other old people. I'm still staying in. Good luck, everybody. I hope you love it because I know we've regressed into Josephine. That's where we all go.

[00:17:23]

And I will say, I mean, I feel like there were entire years in my 20s where my friends and I were smoking so much pot that we grandpa and grandma jod by default on a couch. Yes. Like it was just the sectional that we just didn't leave. And we would just dominoes would bring us what we needed.

[00:17:37]

Right. I mean, that part of it is the fantasy part for me, where just like it would be just fun to lay in bed with your friends all day and just kind of let the world come to you if it chooses to.

[00:17:49]

And then if not, you're just kind of in this little shitty house, you know, chatting about the old days or whatever, like, I don't know, it didn't seem that bad. Can we get Postmus on the line to do a commercial for them about this?

[00:18:01]

Like, hey, what if Grandpa Joe didn't get the ticket and they just ordered food until they do know that that is a video?

[00:18:08]

Yeah, that's a commercial we're about to see for sure.

[00:18:10]

Were they somehow CGI them into something?

[00:18:14]

They're like, I'm really white, really one that day. It's actually Grandpa George and Grandma Georgina. Yeah.

[00:18:22]

I mean, just just to play devil's advocate, Grandpa Joe, he got up. He had to get dressed. That was like a long day at the factory. He had to deal with all those other asshole kids.

[00:18:30]

The other three, they got to nap. Yeah. Eat soup, hang out. Yeah.

[00:18:35]

And, you know, they shared the money when they came home, but yeah, they do. They still moved into the factory. They do everything right.

[00:18:43]

But that thrussell, they still earned it, which is super unfair.

[00:18:48]

But you know, life's not fair.

[00:18:51]

Karen, I would say this to the Grandpa Joe counselors is that although he did touch the side, the side of the Fizi burping machine or whatever it's called, and fucked things up, he did stand up to Willy Wonka.

[00:19:05]

And like you said, this is wrong of you.

[00:19:07]

I mean, that is such a great speech in that movie and such a great performance and such a great moment of like to break a little boy's heart, you know what I mean? Like, he really did.

[00:19:17]

He Grandpa dought himself throughout that tour and throughout that whole day.

[00:19:22]

It was pretty wonca, really. Is it Grandpa Joe's story?

[00:19:28]

Hey, we just been looking at it from the wrong perspective. I think it's fair. It's obviously Veruca Salt story, and it always has. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be very candid. I'm going to be very candid. That is absolutely the character I relate to the most.

[00:19:41]

Oh, yes. That's the most obvious statement I've ever heard. You've always been a Veruca Salt. Oh, like, yeah, I have no patience.

[00:19:51]

I yeah. I mean, and, you know, for the most part it's worked out pretty well. I don't like live in an era where I need to have a lot of patience, know quite the opposite.

[00:20:03]

All right. We have to take a break. But should we should we tell Karen what the special thing that we did to Joe for joining? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

[00:20:10]

Before the break, we did we found out that we could officially become ladies on the Internet somehow.

[00:20:17]

So what country? Scotland. So we get to a website.

[00:20:24]

We found this on Karen Scotland Goup.

[00:20:27]

It was a good put it on your head. Yeah, we bought we bought ourselves goup lady titles we own.

[00:20:33]

We each own three metres of land in Scotland and we were officially ladies.

[00:20:37]

Holy shit.

[00:20:40]

You guys are marketing geniuses. I wanted to come. Correct. So exactly. Oh yeah. You better come. Correct.

[00:20:49]

So someday we will go there and do a show on those nine metres of land in our own respective meter, our stand on a chair, and then someone gets on your shoulders and like I clearly have no idea how big a meter is. We're going to find out.

[00:21:07]

We we will find out how big our parcels of land actually are. OK, yeah, we'll figure out. Mazing.

[00:21:12]

Congratulations to all three of you ladies. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Karen. Thank you so right. We're taking a break, Bierschbach.

[00:21:38]

Hey, hey, everybody, welcome back to lady to lady, I'm Brandy. I'm I'm Tests, we're here with Karen Kilgariff. Hey. Oh, hey.

[00:21:48]

Mm hmm.

[00:21:52]

All right, Karen, this is very exciting because we've been doing the podcast for a very long time and we do like a fun little game with our guests in the second segment. And we decided to unveil a brand new game for you this episode. Great.

[00:22:05]

It's a serious new game, new theme song. Let's everybody.

[00:22:09]

Let's roll World Prunier Propre. This is.

[00:22:15]

Five by question, business questions, are we moving the needle? We've got some business pull up a chair, which like some water, is just I don't know about that.

[00:22:30]

Do you know we don't have business questions? Please. Thank you. Beautiful. That gets a bump.

[00:22:36]

I love Karen. You're like a legitimately really talented musician. And we're like, you know, just a little something we put together.

[00:22:44]

But, you know, I have a song called Business Situation.

[00:22:46]

So do you. Oh, my God. I'm right there with this whole theme. I'm about it, OK?

[00:22:52]

I think we sense that we were like here it'll be a good one to break the what if we had just completely ripped it off and you're like you're doing like a cappella four part harmony where I'm like, this sounds familiar.

[00:23:06]

OK, so yeah, we have some business related, you know, slash interview questions just to get to know our guests a little bit better. So.

[00:23:14]

Well, you just you know, how about you just tell us a little bit about yourself to start off with.

[00:23:18]

Great. Thanks so much for asking for some really. I'm really happy to be here. I'm glad we could all make this time work.

[00:23:26]

Let's you definitely went to grammar school and junior high and graduated and then I went to high school, graduated, which really delightful experience, went to Sacramento State University, flunked out after a year and a half. Thank you. I was really proud of that. Parents felt good about it. I wasted tons of their money.

[00:23:50]

I attempted to go to junior college after that many times and failed all all of those times.

[00:23:57]

And yeah. So then I basically kind of knew was a perfect fit to not go to school anymore for me.

[00:24:04]

And so what better way to celebrate my total inertia and laziness but to start stand up comedy. So I did that. And you know, through a series of amazing events and happenstances, I got myself into the position of being a professional broadcaster. So, you know, there's some stories in between, but we only have like three more hours in this interview.

[00:24:31]

So I think that you can save them for the second round.

[00:24:34]

OK, great there. And if she if she gets there. Yeah.

[00:24:41]

Tell me your biggest weakness.

[00:24:44]

I guess my biggest weakness is how strong I am and the strength. Yeah. Strength. I've never heard that answer before, but it's amazing. Wow.

[00:24:52]

I know we like what kind of strength because I think I, I can like squat, you know, a decent amount of pounds. I'm like what kind of strength.

[00:25:00]

I hate that word because it describes it perfectly squat.

[00:25:05]

It's so dead on and it's on of my strength comes in sheer volume of my voice, which is I'm starting to learn over the years, not in my control.

[00:25:19]

So I think that's great. If if, like, I'm ever lost in a parking structure, I can solve that really quickly.

[00:25:28]

And then just.

[00:25:29]

You see this fucking mosquito. Oh, yes. Oh, no, I didn't get it. Other than that, I think, uh, yeah.

[00:25:39]

Just kind of my my dedication to never changing my mind or listening to others I think is is really the shape of my strength.

[00:25:50]

I would say it is it is great, you know, as a as a fellow loud person, big voice person, it is a weird moment. I think that thing about yourself, where as I get older, where I'm like, oh, these are just things about myself that I know might be annoying to other people.

[00:26:07]

And I just have to be OK with because this is not yeah. This is who I am because you can't help it if you were just born a bit much.

[00:26:15]

Thank you. Thank you. That's you.

[00:26:19]

Lady Gaga song about ourselves. I was born a bit much. Five, six, seven, eight and one, two and three.

[00:26:29]

I you know what's funny is I remember being somewhere and everybody it was a job or some kind of thing where everybody else was very soft spoken and I don't know why I was fucking there, but I was trying to and I remember it it dawned on me and I was probably like in my mid to late thirties that there were people who weren't raised with people in their house yelling from four rooms away like there was never not somebody.

[00:26:53]

My dad was constantly like, turn off the bathroom light. Like there was always that vault.

[00:26:58]

Like I told this story a ton of times. But my dad used to answer the phone and when it would be for me, I'd be like, hello in my front. I'd be like, Oh, sorry, are you in trouble? And I'd be like, no, what are you talking about?

[00:27:10]

It's just that my dad's like, Hello, hold on a second. He's always yelling. Always, so it took me a long time to realize that, like as that my loud girl status, although there were times where I was like, I wish I was shy or whatever, and then it just kind of like, sorry. It's like the way I was raised. It feels necessary to me.

[00:27:29]

Yeah.

[00:27:30]

I have an interesting combination of both because my house was like a quiet house growing up, but my best friend across the street was a loud house like everyone yelled, Oh, so whenever I'd go to her home it was like a yelling home.

[00:27:41]

And then I'd come back to mine and it was quiet. All the lights are off and it's dark like nobody's here.

[00:27:48]

That's why it was adapt to any situation. Brandy, I'm a chameleon. I don't know who I am. That's why I have, like, everybody anybody gets in fights.

[00:27:58]

If I yell, it was very normal in my family because my there's a lot of bullshit going on. Yeah. So like, I'm like, oh, this is just something we come back from. But that's not how everyone acts, you know. So I didn't I don't know that. And I'm like for me this is just normal.

[00:28:12]

But for people I also on top of that, like I'm half deaf. So there's that.

[00:28:19]

And then also like my siblings and I are essentially a pack of hyenas, like we all have the same laugh and the same exact sense of humor. We laugh. It just becomes this chorus of jackals and we all just escalate each other. And I take that out to the real world with me.

[00:28:35]

That's just I love you and you don't adjust.

[00:28:38]

I mean, that is one of my first when I think back to the time where you guys asked me to do The Lady to Lady Live show, which is when I very first started doing standup again and I was like, well, this is exciting, like a live podcast. I had no idea what was going on or who you guys were, whatever.

[00:28:53]

And like I first of all, when I first met you, I was just like, cool girls.

[00:28:57]

OK, good, thank God, like, whatever. But then one of the first funny things that happened on stage and test started laughing and I was just like, holy shit, I was my favorite.

[00:29:08]

Because you don't the fact that you don't try to change it at all is my favorite thing. You're just like, no, this is what you're getting the end. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:19]

I don't I don't care if it's the senior citizen talent show. Like, I'm tap dancing and I'm bringing in jazz hands and there will be more Korean. Oh yeah. Yeah. Thank you. What made that show? Was that San Francisco or is that something that was that sketch fest.

[00:29:33]

Well, listen, the I thought the first one I did was at that like Wolfpack Theater. Whatever that one was. That's what I was.

[00:29:39]

It was. And then you did that one another one later. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:41]

That's Joe Wingert came on and did characters and there was all kinds of shit going on where I was just like, guys, I'm back guys.

[00:29:49]

Comedy, comedy friends, comedy feelings.

[00:29:53]

Mm.

[00:29:54]

Yeah, that was a good that was a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Well now I'm sad.

[00:30:02]

Karen can, can we now um let's get back to the interview.

[00:30:10]

Good. I agree. No, no it's great. It's really great getting to know you like this but what kind of work environment do you like best. I guess.

[00:30:18]

A cave. Oh that sounds nice. Do you like a little cavernous space.

[00:30:24]

I, I do like you know what's funny, if I'm actually really working and when I think of that it's usually writing or some something laptop based or I'm just kind of like focused in. My favorite thing is I know that I'm kind of like in the flow.

[00:30:40]

Please forgive me for using that term, but like I'm in it when the everything like all the lights go down, the sun goes down, everything gets dark. And I'm just like in the computer. That's my favorite feeling of like actual kind of creative, like the creative thing is happening.

[00:30:58]

And I'm in that trance and I don't really know how much time has passed. So yeah, I think if it's small and warm and there's like some carpet and it's not to like, I cannot stand fluorescent lights, I make me ill.

[00:31:12]

So yeah, I think like warmth. Earth tones are nice, small kind of smallness is nice and and I do like quiet for being a loud person. You know, there's there's so many contradictions in me, which I think is one of the more fascinating things about me.

[00:31:32]

I'm still doing the character, still trying to do the character. No, we're coming in and out of spurts.

[00:31:38]

Do you not do you write with silence or do you write with, like, white noise or classical music or something?

[00:31:43]

Sometimes I do classical music, but then if you get like, I'll try to do some kind of like a, you know, Sleepytime playlist type of thing, because if you get into the wrong classical music, it's like suddenly you're like, oh, I better turn this in. Like, you realize you're panicking because you're just acting along to the soundtrack in your head.

[00:32:00]

So I try to do like the other day I had something to do and I found a spa playlist on on Apple Music. And it was hilarious because there was no it was like that, you know, those kind of weird it sounds like just general keyboard noises. We're like.

[00:32:16]

Whatever, where there's nothing to focus on or distract you, but it's kind of definitely filling, filling the space, so things like that, but yeah, that or just nothing, I have to have that, too.

[00:32:29]

I can't like I can have like, some shitty TV going on in the background, but I cannot play when you're writing. You can have on not writing.

[00:32:36]

No, I'm doing work, graphics, work and stuff like that. No, no writing is for sure. I can't have any other words like around me.

[00:32:42]

Correct. Yeah. Same. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:32:44]

I think in a perfect world I'd have a theorem in player that you played but that's just for all your Halloween scripts.

[00:32:51]

Yeah. Yeah exactly. I'm just a little spooky all the time. This is Gustav. Might there have been a player.

[00:32:58]

Yeah. If you're just playing Halloween haunted house noises. My main stuff. Yeah that's my. Can I recommend to you guys I have this app called Ometer. This is like a legit recommendation and I think four or five bucks, but it plays like pretty music and it takes up your full screen with your word processor so you can't see anything else. And the sexiest part about it is when you type, it makes like an exaggerating type.

[00:33:24]

You sound so nice. Does it does the music with it.

[00:33:29]

It sounds like something. Yeah. You like hearing because it does have that kind of like, it's kind of like floaty like womb noise or whatever.

[00:33:36]

Yeah. It's almost like if it's filling up like the feeling of you having your ears filled up. So then you're not it just like yours.

[00:33:45]

It's the opposite of a TV on where you'd be distracted and start concentrating on something else.

[00:33:49]

It's like you can't concentrate on anything else. I love that feeling. Exactly. Yeah.

[00:33:55]

It's like putting like one of those dog cones around your brain. Yeah. Mm. OK, I like it.

[00:34:00]

I started getting into, I mean getting into, I went to like one sound bath or whatever before all this shit.

[00:34:04]

I love a sound but there they are. So good for that. And I'm going to Joshua Tree in a few weeks and I was like man I would love to do that. But covid is too crazy. So I'm like at that point where it's like, all right, are you going to invest a crystal ball? Or like, what's about that?

[00:34:20]

We barbel you explain to me what a sound bath is just because I'm not totally so it sounds like something you would like.

[00:34:26]

It's it's in a lot of those spot plays and stuff, but it's like a crystal ball that they kind of I don't know what they're using to make the sound, but they do move something around it. Various ones. They all have different tones and they do they kind of fill up the room. But if you're in person, it like makes your body vibrate.

[00:34:40]

It's really crazy. It kind of sounds like if a wind chime was really high.

[00:34:46]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:34:48]

I not really like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sound OK. I think I like to think I'm different.

[00:34:54]

Yeah. It's like this is really like hippy dippy but like you can do, you can like YouTube sound bass and those are cool too. But like when you do them in person you can feel the vibration of the sound in your body. Yeah.

[00:35:06]

The last time I did, I really felt like I was like floating afterwards. It was pretty crazy. That's very cool.

[00:35:12]

I went to one in Vegas like two years ago because I was performing at punk rock bowling and like I was there for four days and it was just like a festival all day festival thing. And like the third day I woke up and I was like, I need to be in a quiet place that is in the sun.

[00:35:27]

And then I found, like, a weird way, way, way, way, way off strip like hippie shop that was doing soundboards that day. And then I just like took a nap underneath of a brass pyramid and oh my God, that's a perfect Vegas.

[00:35:38]

Like, OK, it fits everybody say, what's your favorite public nap you've ever taken?

[00:35:46]

This is an interview question, Karen, OK.

[00:35:49]

Oh, I did fall asleep in a bowling alley once and that felt good. That's very loud.

[00:35:56]

It looks like you being an infant. We're like loud voices actually make you fall asleep. They kind of do.

[00:36:01]

I can definitely like I can go I can go out hard if I need to. Why did you fall asleep in a bowling alley?

[00:36:06]

I don't remember. I just remember the sensation of being like, this is weird and falling and falling asleep.

[00:36:11]

I know it's weird. I'm leaving and put your head down.

[00:36:16]

I have zero other context then I know it was OK.

[00:36:24]

I'm trying to think because I also I'm the same way where I can I can sleep whenever I want and if I'm tired I just go to sleep and I kind of don't have a ton of control over it. It's like, oh, so I've definitely slept in like I've slept through so many like movies at the new art kind of thing where I'm just like I wish I was smart enough to know kind of done that a lot.

[00:36:51]

God, I mean beach nap is for sure.

[00:36:54]

I think my favorite age nap is my favorite beach now except for I very much fear sunburn and that is like within twenty minutes I will be like I have to be rushed to the hospital for melanoma.

[00:37:11]

Yeah. You just got to get a pop up thing. You got to be a little shade. True. OK, that's solved. Now you're going to get the job instead of me because I was such a good idea.

[00:37:24]

I think that the one that I enjoy the most is when you fall asleep during a massage. Oh, yeah, that's the greatest. Like, you get past the point where like, oh, I'm so sore or whatever.

[00:37:34]

My the reason was that I booked this massage and then you get to the point where you kind of like it's the person putting their hand on your back knowing like, OK, that's it, you can get dressed and you're like, why?

[00:37:45]

That hasn't been like that's my favorite because, you know, then you're then I actually relax. Exactly. Yeah.

[00:37:52]

I've scheduled some relaxation and actually done it.

[00:37:55]

Yeah, I did a float tank once and I don't know if I fell asleep or not, but I also don't know if I was awake. Hmm.

[00:38:02]

Well you officially lost time. I think you got abducted. Yes. Well, where did you have your wallet at the end?

[00:38:10]

There was nothing in it, so I spent it all in the floating. Yeah. Obviously, I don't know if this is my favorite public now, but it's my most memorable.

[00:38:20]

When I was in high school, I used to take classes at the junior college, like after school and in the summer and stuff. And I was so tired studying for finals that I fell asleep on, you know, whatever piece of grass, the quad or whatever.

[00:38:30]

And I woke up because that junior college was doing a production of The Crucible that several cast members were dressed as pilgrims in the quad to promote the show. So I like woke up in the middle of the suddenly in public to a bunch of pilgrims swarming around me.

[00:38:58]

Did you think you time traveled for like half a second? We're like, oh, shit. It was so disorienting because I already I was like sleeping in broad sunlight and the pilgrims in the mix, it was a lot.

[00:39:10]

One year we went to Disneyland for like senior all night Disneyland bullshit that I don't I already don't like most of what I just was talking about.

[00:39:21]

And it was like, you get there at 11:00 and you and you leave at 6:00 in the morning or some insane shit like that.

[00:39:27]

Yeah, we did that too. Yeah. Uh, gridlocking I guess, or whatever. The crowd. Yeah.

[00:39:32]

And at around like one thirty a.m. I was just like, well I'm going to sleep on this bench cause I'm not like we've walked all around. I've already been here several times. Like this isn't new or fresh. All these like packs of seniors are walking around like I don't know if people were expected to like socialize. I don't know what the fucking point was, but I was just like, this sucks.

[00:39:55]

And I laid down and went to sleep. And I remember there was a couple of people who walked by like, oh, that's really fun.

[00:40:00]

Or I'd be like, compared to what I'm not going to pretend like I like big Miis. Like, what are you talking about? This is stupid.

[00:40:07]

As someone who went to that same I went to that same grad night at Disneyland and here's what you did wrong. Here's what you didn't do.

[00:40:14]

Drugs, cocaine, because, yeah, I did ecstasy that night and it was truly one of the happiest moments of my life. There is nothing like being on hard drugs on the Peter Pan. Right.

[00:40:26]

And I think that would be amazing. Yeah, I just took it at face value like a goddamn idiot. But that's the good thing about that is I am in an interview right now and I don't do drugs.

[00:40:39]

Oh, that's a great point. Which is, you know, you didn't do that. Wait, we're talking about the floating.

[00:40:47]

Did we ever talk about that update we got from the girl who runs one or not? Oh, no, we didn't. We should. We should. Where is that?

[00:40:55]

Let me find a real quick. We find a problem. Is it bad news about Flint?

[00:40:59]

We had been wondering about if a guy Jesus in the flow tank, if they can tell we had a little not in the right ones. There are someone who runs who runs them somewhere.

[00:41:12]

And she had let us know.

[00:41:15]

I mean, they must drain them, right. At least to clean that. They have to know they do. But she said it's very obvious basically when it happens and that, yeah, it's a different it's like oil and water.

[00:41:28]

Yeah.

[00:41:29]

Not to put too fine a point on it, but she basically said, yeah, it's very easy to tell.

[00:41:35]

Oh yeah. Here, here it is. OK, I love you all but couldn't help but mention I own a float tank in Louisville, Kentucky list. Kay. Why in case you live in Louisville. Fun float tank just float float.

[00:41:49]

FishTank fact Jews is not water soluble so it's easy to spot dudes who decide to ignore our liability waiver. And five hundred dollars a cleaning fee are immediately shamed, tarred and feathered on the way out the door.

[00:42:02]

Come to Louisville and we'll give you the VIP treatment.

[00:42:05]

So. So we solved that problem. Now we we know.

[00:42:09]

Yes, but not to worry about there. Yeah. So I say I'd say we can put a. And in that for later and we'll head of that Flotek when we're allowed to. Yeah, yeah, OK. OK, last question.

[00:42:22]

You know, we always like to end with this. Just. Yeah.

[00:42:25]

What what questions do you have for us? Oh yeah. First of all, what's your pension plan look like.

[00:42:31]

Oh we give out free pens and that's it. So this is a pen based company. OK, well that's a huge bummer for me. Yeah. I mean, it's the gig economy.

[00:42:49]

Yeah. OK, pension plan. Here's our pension plan was bad. It was bad. I worked it. What's his fuck.

[00:43:02]

Oh my God. What's his fucking name. He's a singer.

[00:43:06]

Anyway, you said something different. He has that song 24 carat. What the fuck.

[00:43:17]

Kanye West. Bruno Mars.

[00:43:20]

Bruno Mars. Thank you. He has a really bad pun and one of his songs where he says, like, why don't you come to the penthouse? That's where I keep my pens.

[00:43:27]

So I'm just saying, wasn't it you that you stole the joke from you stole from Bruno Mars? Worse. And it took me too long to figure out who he was, really. All right. We're going to figure out Barbara's punishment. We'll be right back.

[00:43:57]

Hey, everybody, we're back in lady to lady and Babs, I'm Brandy, I'm deaf and we're here with care in pain. He OK, we're going to do a lady problem. Let's do the theme song and then we actually going to do one. We've got like three different themes to play.

[00:44:13]

Now I'm realizing. Wow, you're looking train, Stuart.

[00:44:24]

Data related problems, data? Yeah, it's pretty much a problem. We pretty much say the words over and over again. Those are do you have any problems? Do you have that?

[00:44:46]

It's like a horror movie. Yeah.

[00:44:52]

So we started doing voice mail.

[00:44:54]

You know, we're we're doing some from voicemail's now and this is the very first one from voice mail.

[00:44:58]

I'm going to let me let me do because it's too long. Hold on. Let me paste it in the chata because it's kind of a long one to, like, listen to sweet.

[00:45:06]

Um. Yeah. And if you want to email us lady problems, you can email anything to us lady to lady comedy at Gmail dot com if you want to give us a call.

[00:45:14]

Just so you guys know, here's the number three two three six thirty six point thirty somewhere.

[00:45:24]

That is three, two, three six but 30. Give us a call. The six but thirty two teeth six.

[00:45:40]

Beauty three zero.

[00:45:47]

Well done. Thank you.

[00:45:50]

Thank you for that. Yeah. Everybody, if you're listening, pop it in your phone. Hey just send us a voicemail whenever you're out and something crazy happen. Yeah.

[00:45:57]

It doesn't have to be a lady problem. Could also just be like a chicken, whatever you want. We're going to be using the third segment to kind of, you know, play those and all that stuff. So, yeah, here we go.

[00:46:06]

Hormonally these more. No friend of the pod here calling with I don't know if it's a problem or nightmare or what, but I got caught creeping on someone LinkedIn. I got rejected by exudate just passively swiping anything. But it took a harder than I should have and was just looking for clues on his Instagram of why why I shouldn't put him on a pedestal, which was what I was doing when he rejected me. And I quickly found a very prominently featured ex-girlfriend who was tagged, who had a public profile on Instagram.

[00:46:45]

And you could see very easily without you're to decide that they liked pretty much everything each other posted recently, which is a lot for exes, for even friends, in my opinion. And it helped me spin this narrative. It's like he's not available. This wasn't a thing you're trying to say. But all of her pictures are of her labradoodle and all of her tags were like her face was like weirdly obscured, like a child of a celebrity. It was very strange, but I didn't like what she look like.

[00:47:22]

And I go to his Facebook profile because they don't have her full name and she's tagged in a profile picture pretty far back. Again, I di I go to a profile, more labradoodle, but I have a name, I Google, I go to images, I click on my head shots and then I see what she looks like. It's fine. She's attractive. We don't look like she's making holes when I can move on with my life. And I don't feel good about this, but as far as me getting caught, I feel like I slim and then I get the text me then next day before coffee with a screenshot of her text and you have me looking at her profile.

[00:48:14]

Look, is there something I need to worry about? She's been stopped before and I apologize and own up to it. But like, how does she know without creeping on me too and everything that I followed him for a week. And like the few things, I'm pretty sure she's just as guilty as me.

[00:48:33]

Right. And also, I'm back from something like this because this whole thing just really rocked my sense of self. It was just like a huge show, like, is this mean is this just the lesson of not keeping how would you guys take all of this? Because I don't know. Thank you. I love you guys. Oh, my God.

[00:48:55]

The roller coaster of emotions took me on. My upper back is so clenched right now, the stress of what she went through and put herself through because you just never think you're going to get caught doing something like that.

[00:49:12]

Like we've all take I've gone down so many Robert rabbit holes that the rabbit hole is that we're not at the end of the day. Yeah.

[00:49:22]

And, you know, that's what you do. It's it's easy. It's accessible. It's there. I don't think you're going to get texted a screenshot that you looked at someone's LinkedIn account.

[00:49:31]

She says, The part that I get like a visceral pit in my stomach is when she got the text with the screenshot.

[00:49:36]

But can somebody clarify? This was a guy she was about to go meet for coffee. Was someone she. Kind of starting to see a tiny bit, and this was his ex, so she was just going like, oh, is this something I have to worry about? And having a private, you know, stalker area, but just in a in a kind of like or was it always already over with this guy?

[00:49:58]

It was already over. She had been like seeing this guy for a couple of weeks, nothing major. OK, broke it off.

[00:50:04]

And then in my opinion, she was well within the normal stalking time period.

[00:50:09]

Yes, for sure. Especially after a breakup or after a kind of this isn't working out right.

[00:50:15]

She yeah. Like she said, she still liked him. She put him on a pedestal. And it's kind of she was like looking through his stuff.

[00:50:20]

And I think that's normal to see this. And then especially if she saw, oh, they've interacted a bunch.

[00:50:25]

Like, I shouldn't, you know, who is a person. Yeah. Yeah. I don't answer that. Weird. But here's my question.

[00:50:33]

So I don't understand how. So LinkedIn will show you who looks at your profile. Yes. Yeah, well, that's that is a good fact.

[00:50:41]

Yeah. Everyone should be. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:50:42]

I think I feel so bad that Lauren went through this, but I think it's important that this information is out there for everyone.

[00:50:47]

And you have to have LinkedIn pro to see it. Right. Or you can you see anybody who looks at your profile?

[00:50:52]

I think you can see and I think you get sent a notification when someone looks at your profile on plain old LinkedIn, because I remember doing it after I did a show one time and one of the producers of the show, I just was like, oh, I wonder what else that guy's worked on.

[00:51:07]

And then and did it. And then like a day later someone was like, Oh yeah, they get notifications.

[00:51:13]

And I was just like, oh what? And it was like, I've never even gone near LinkedIn again because it is the it's that first of all, social media was invented so we can all stalk each other that we know that. So even acting like is it me, am I weird. No, no. It's the only reason people are on social media, married, 80 years old. Doesn't matter. Everyone's stalking everybody. That's what they're for.

[00:51:37]

It's just not fair because LinkedIn, it's like it's like going it's like as though you're being told someone's looking at your IMDB page. It's it's a fucking well, look, it's a real service. What's the purpose of that?

[00:51:48]

Just to be like, oh, they looked at me so I should follow up with them because maybe about it is it's like, what are you going to it's like a creepy guy finding like seeing a girl on Tinder and then finding her Instagram. You don't want the messaging you there. You don't want to be like, hey, I saw you looking at me. Can I have a job?

[00:52:03]

That's great. Oh, God.

[00:52:05]

Imagine it's it's it was clearly set up by someone who maybe is on the spectrum a tad or doesn't get the interacting in a way where it's like, no, no one would want that to happen.

[00:52:15]

So you should that should not be a feature. That should be a bug and you should fix it and get rid of it.

[00:52:20]

But and also, you should absolutely warn people that this is going to happen because it would keep people from just casually going, oh, where's that? That one guy that was in my French class in high school, I wonder what he's doing for a living these days. Totally.

[00:52:34]

Which like it's a pandemic. We've looked at all the French guys high school. Yeah, well, and also, like at that point, the Internet puts you in kind of a fugue state so you don't even realize until after you're already on high school. French guys page how you got there. Yes. Like how sometimes you don't remember driving home from place like you're in it. Yeah, it's true.

[00:52:54]

That's really true.

[00:52:55]

Well, and also sometimes if you have, like, an inquisitive mind to sometimes I'll see how far down the hole I can get not to do anything, but just to like it's exciting just to be a little tiny pie and just be like, oh, look how resourceful and like out of the box I'm thinking right now and finding all this stuff, like, I know it's just kind of a fun game.

[00:53:12]

Yeah. It's kind of just satisfying. Whatever curiosity comes up as you are sitting around also watching a Netflix series, also doing this, also doing that.

[00:53:22]

But I think the the extreme shame piece, which I'm totally relating to, is that idea that someone said no thanks, not interested, and then she got caught continuing to be interested, which no one wants to be known to be revealed as having been.

[00:53:40]

But guess what? It's what it's the truth. Like if you're the breakup e, then oftentimes you're left with this leftover. Oh, but I was kind of still interested in this.

[00:53:51]

I, I think we should circle around, though, to talk about who in the fuck sees somebody checking their LinkedIn and then is sending a picture to her ex to be like you.

[00:54:03]

Can you take this girl away from me?

[00:54:04]

Or it's like, you know what, you guys need to go off together to a sandals resort and you hit your labradoodle needs to fuck in a giant family of labradoodle is in Barbados or some shit. We don't need you here and we certainly don't need you on LinkedIn. And yeah, absolutely, because I feel like that that woman really violated, like, girl code, you know what I mean? Absolutely.

[00:54:24]

She obviously surmised that was going on. It was over between her and between Lauren and this guy. So like, why even some, even if you saw that, no need to send that screenshot. Also, if I were Lauren, I would text back.

[00:54:38]

It's not a problem on my end, but it looks like you're about to get back. Together with a total fucking psycho, enjoy your life, enjoy the joke. I think this is what you should do.

[00:54:50]

She should just be like, actually, I was interested in hiring her for this position.

[00:54:54]

Just so you're using it for has Hassabis. I have some pens that she could have made a nice retirement with.

[00:55:01]

Yeah, exactly. Do you see this ballpoint?

[00:55:03]

I think she would be interested that she no longer is qualified for this pen. No, I so I'm looking at it.

[00:55:11]

So you have to pay. You do have to pay to see who's seen you and you all you have to pay to to not let to blac other people privately and to let Lehman see that and to see who's been, you know, so by them trying to get paid for shit.

[00:55:26]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't like any of this.

[00:55:28]

So are you telling me that LinkedIn is blackmailing us just for having feelings and interests in others? I good.

[00:55:40]

I've been I don't know why, but this newest phase of quarantine has made me very oddly obsessed, like hour to hour with my horoscope.

[00:55:53]

In a way, I feel like I need to keep on checking it. But what about nighttime of this day is very strange.

[00:56:00]

But one of the things that I've picked up on that other people say that I absolutely love is that rejection is your protection.

[00:56:08]

Have you heard people say that word? No, but I like that it's like this idea that, like, don't get too caught up in this. You know, it's very easy to go in microscopically and be like, what did you say?

[00:56:18]

What did he do where the text did it in these these mistakes or whatever?

[00:56:22]

Overall, my my words to Lauren would just be pull back a little bit and know that this guy is like you can judge him based on his ex's. She seems crazy. He's probably way crazier than you even know. And this whole event. Yes. You got your hand burned on this stove, but you never wanted to be anywhere near this stove in the first place. It's a it's a really bad stove.

[00:56:48]

Yeah, really. Get out of the kitchen. Get out of the kitchen. Know not where your places. Yeah.

[00:56:55]

I mean, that's like her definitely her stirring some shit for sure. Like it's one thing if she pops up like five or six times but like one time look as normal for anybody.

[00:57:04]

And also again, that means she was also looking at launch its entire game.

[00:57:09]

She's. Yeah. Who is hunting and who is the who's the hunted. Lauren's not hiding behind any fucking labradoodle. All right.

[00:57:16]

So, yeah, your face is on full display. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:57:20]

So yeah, exactly. Can we I just want to shout out to the detail of saying that all of her pictures were weirdly obscured. Like the child of a celebrity is a perfect detail that we all got. And just kudos, Lauren, you're going to do great. That was because it was beautiful.

[00:57:36]

I really love the idea that you guys are doing voicemail's because it's one thing to read an email. But when someone gets to talk about their shame or their whatever in their own voice, I just love it in it.

[00:57:46]

It makes me empathize so much more.

[00:57:49]

We've all been there humiliating herself for saving something that's eight years old on Twitter, doing that deep dive shit, everything.

[00:57:57]

Just welcome to the Brotherhood of Man because, my God, everyone's done it and everyone has done it very badly.

[00:58:04]

We'll I'll just I'll get into my I did it very recently. I've just had an incident recently. I had an incident. I had an incident.

[00:58:13]

I had to reply.

[00:58:16]

I had to give some, like, criticism that made me feel a little weird to give because it was one of those things where I felt like I I've been sent something I need to give feedback on.

[00:58:24]

But it was so bad what was said to me. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, why do I even have to comment on this? So anyway, I had to, like, figure out how to say it as nicely as I could write. So I wrote the email like five times and was like and kept going back. OK. Oh wait. Over the weekend. All right, I'll send it. And, and then I sent it and then of course you go back a few minutes later and you read it and I read it and I read it and I was like, OK, I think I did pretty good.

[00:58:48]

And then I pasted some images. And then below those images was my old my old draft.

[00:58:55]

I know the last more harsh version of the email was underneath.

[00:59:03]

Yeah, I've done this. Yes.

[00:59:10]

That's the first and last time I wrote an email to someone that was like a fighting email where it was like somebody did something and I was really mad. And then they sent me an email of like, look, I'm sorry, but but but and I hit reply and started responding. And then I kept rewriting and rewriting. And at one point and I was so I was the first I had basically done a full vitriol pass and then there was lightening it up and lightening it up.

[00:59:34]

And I was halfway through I was almost done. But the back up was not nice and I hit, like, return. To go to the next paragraph and fucking sent it and then ring, ring, here comes a phone call of like, what the fuck? And I was just like, but the good the good thing was we ended up getting to a place where we could actually talk.

[00:59:56]

And it was for stuff like that, you should just be talking on the phone anyway.

[01:00:00]

But it was the kind of thing where I was like, don't ever you draft that in word. You get out of the email entirely. Like, I don't know how.

[01:00:09]

I didn't know that that's worse than mine.

[01:00:12]

So I feel OK. That sounds worse than mine. And you have to drop that and these that you have to learn from yourself and your friends like I. Now, whenever I'm really gossiping, I'll put my phone on airplane mode.

[01:00:23]

I guess I want to do a side a side version of this.

[01:00:31]

And this is someone else's story. I won't say her name. I think she would be fine with us saying it. You know her and love her too. But one time there was a guy she went out with and it was some it was like a Tinder date or whatever. And then the date was over, like it had just ended. And she took a picture of his profile picture and sent it to our friend and was just like, dude, this guy was just so fucking hot and blah, blah, blah.

[01:00:56]

And she said to him, you know, just to come here. Yeah.

[01:01:00]

She sent it right to fucking him and then was just staring at her phone like, oh, I really was excited about this guy. And this is officially over. Right.

[01:01:09]

This second thing she never heard from him again is bullshit. Oh, yeah. I think it would be like a nice compliment, but what a high comment. Yeah, but, you know, I think maybe that's a like he's just not that into a moment. Right. Because that wouldn't have. Yeah, of course.

[01:01:26]

But you don't want that news that fast. Do you want to be able to 48 hours be like what if man that guy or whatever and then you know, slowly get ghosted.

[01:01:35]

That's what we're all after that you had someone call you right after you did the email thing.

[01:01:39]

But I had to make that. I was like, okay, do I write back and be like, hey, sorry, that was it.

[01:01:45]

Did I meant I messed up or do I just I just left it because I was like, Yeah.

[01:01:48]

Coming back from there. Yeah.

[01:01:52]

Yeah. Because anything you do is only going to make it worse. It's like when you try to fix your own manicure you're just going to fuck it up. Yeah.

[01:01:58]

It's like it becomes like that painting where like they're trying to redo it.

[01:02:02]

It just becomes the horrible version of the face the middle that melted Jesus. Yeah. It just looks like a Rolo eventually. Yes, exactly. Smooth like chocolate. Yeah.

[01:02:13]

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody who I actually also want let the listener know. I know this for a fact. SoundCloud certain SoundCloud accounts. If you listen to songs, well let the person that put them up know that you have been listening by your email address if you are logged in at the same time. So keep that in mind.

[01:02:31]

I think that's OK. Right, because it's just like music.

[01:02:35]

It depends how creepy you're being.

[01:02:36]

I mean, there's a song written about you if you're not together anymore and, you know, it's 3:00 in the morning, you don't want that email to go out or if that's true, if you're super into a song and then you listen to it seventy two times in a row like that.

[01:02:51]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of thing. So just keep it in mind for everybody in the future.

[01:02:56]

These are great tips. We have a lot of good tips on this episode. Yeah. Just letting everybody know.

[01:03:01]

God, there's so many ways to humiliate yourself. Yeah.

[01:03:04]

So just float tank, don't creep on LinkedIn, don't create up. The most creepy thing I've ever done is when I was like when my play was in New York, I was like seeing a guy not like barely seeing him but like, you know, into him. And I went on my phone on Facebook to promote my play to get people to come see it hit send. I had accidentally posted on his wall a promotion for my place.

[01:03:36]

I feel like I've I've almost done that many times where I've been especially searching on Facebook when you're, like, trying to, like, stalk someone and like, almost posted the names.

[01:03:46]

Well, when Facebook first came out, there was a day where I was going back and forth with this guy that I went to high school with who I adore and is still a good friend of mine. And my other friend texted me and goes, Yeah, and this friend is like a married man, you know, that like we hadn't seen each other in a long time, but it was like that Facebook like Dehradun dead. Idun going back and forth.

[01:04:09]

And on my wall there was lots of other things and people talking on his wall.

[01:04:13]

It was all me. It literally was like twenty five messages from me. And my friend texted me and goes, it your your Facebook messages are like red lipstick written in a mirror. And I was like, wait, what am I like looked at it and was like, oh my God, I don't, I'm just old enough. Like I don't understand a lot of social media. This was, you know, like ten years ago or whatever. And I was just like, I got to get off.

[01:04:39]

Like, I can't be using this half knowing how. I would actually not know. Right, that's right, humiliatingly, OK, version of that is like the old people who leave review like like to leave weird messages on Sisler Facebook page and stuff.

[01:04:56]

That's where you like. All right, this is good. But the only version any of us want, right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[01:05:01]

I think I might just need to get all the way off the train because I'm in the same boat as you care and like I don't care for it, I'm not good at it. And mostly just embarrassing myself and like I'm not going to learn how to tick tock. I don't even know if that's how you say it.

[01:05:12]

And it's for the children.

[01:05:15]

It's not like you have to every new thing that comes out, you have to go, oh, I'm this much older. I'm an entire generation away. Like my niece sends me tock. She does. And I don't know how to stop them when they're over like you just start again.

[01:05:29]

It'll go into like the next tick tock that's waiting. And I'm like, God damn it, like the next it's like my knees dancing and being cute. And then immediately a tick tock starts where a girl is crying into her phone.

[01:05:39]

I'm like, I don't want to fucking watch some teenage girl crying and talking. So infuriating.

[01:05:45]

And I'm like, oh, now I'm this person that just like, can you turn this VCR off? Yeah, I'm like my mom who's like Teresa, I don't have Google Maps on this computer.

[01:05:54]

OK, yeah. That's what a beautiful evolution of the show.

[01:06:00]

OK, that lady, before we got you exactly right, this was like our you know, we're our late 20s and we're just like getting fucked up and figuring it out. And now we're ants who don't know how to do shit and we're just accepting it.

[01:06:12]

Welcome, guys, to the Ants Club. I've been here for a while. Yeah, it's pretty fun. We enjoy this together. I loved it. We're proud ants and the embarrassment is fun, too.

[01:06:23]

I think that's another thing Lauren has to remember is it's painful now. In three weeks, this will be the funniest story you have to tell.

[01:06:30]

Oh, yeah, it's already. Yeah, it's real good. Guys, I can't tell you enough how especially being one of the first podcast that I ever really like, interacted with when I came back to comedy, which was such a very difficult vulnerable.

[01:06:45]

And let's just just say a horrifying time in my life. And you guys meeting you, watching you do what you do. It was really inspiring. It was really welcoming. I felt like I got let in the side door of, like, your your comedy scene, which I didn't expect.

[01:07:04]

I was like, I'm going to do this by myself as the old lady.

[01:07:07]

And so it's it's it means the world to me that now you guys get to be on my podcast network.

[01:07:13]

It's like, oh, it took a long time. Fucking paperwork sucks. But ultimately, I'm so, so happy you're here.

[01:07:21]

Yeah.

[01:07:22]

Shout out to all the LinkedIn profiles that got us to this point for lawyers.

[01:07:29]

We're really excited and yeah, it's going to be great. Is a good time. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:07:35]

So yeah. Stitcher Premium and Patrón Peeps, we're going to go do the Beef of the Week, which is our new bonus segment that comes out on Fridays where we kind of talk about our complaint of the week.

[01:07:46]

It's like ten, fifteen minutes usually. So if you want to check out what that is, we have all the information on our I don't know, our shit. Go go find it somewhere.

[01:07:54]

Yeah, you'll figure it out. You figure it out. You're good at the Internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're proud of you.

[01:08:00]

Welcome. See you later. Bye bye.

[01:08:02]

They can't get enough of us. Subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content. Access to our first one hundred episodes and more, go to Patreon Dotcom lady to lady. Now to sign up as little as a dollar a month keeps a roof over the glam cave and keeps you laughing even when your co-workers stare. That's Patreon dotcom slash lady to lady. And don't forget to follow us on social media. We're on Twitter and Instagram at Lady to Lady Comedy.

[01:08:27]

Join our Facebook group Lady to Lady Podcast to chat with other fans about episodes or even post your old lady problems. Check out our website lady to lady comedy dot com for show notes, videos and merch and follow her individual accounts. Subscribe brand dazzle and testify Bacher for jokes and info and where you can see us perform live. And if you want to send us snack stickers or a lock of your own hair, I don't know whatever our P.O. Box is for one two seven nine four Los Angeles, California, nine zero zero four one.

[01:08:52]

And please leave us a review and iTunes, but only if you like us.

[01:08:55]

We love you. Love you. Bye bye.