Where could it be?

Ouh, that's not it. Come on, I just had it last night. Did you take it, Rufus?

Max, Molly's here. One sec.

Think, if I was the Windbreaker 5,000, where would I be? Found it. Oh, yeah. Nice and stinky. Max. Coming. Come on, Molly. We're late.

Hey, I was waiting for you.

Well, now I'm waiting for you.Hurry, Slowpoke.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Um, backpack, gym shorts, Fortnite pencil set. I'm good.

You're not going to say goodbye to your mom?

Oh, later, mom. Bye, son.

Thanks, Molly. Oof. What's that Mel, you forgot to change underwear again?

Very funny.

Seriously, something stinks. I know.

It's the legendary prank I'm about to pull on Brad Baxter. My aunt Murgetroid sent me a Windbreaker 5,000.

What's a Windbreaker 5,000?

A specially designed Whoopy cushion that not only makes fart sounds, it also releases a stink bomb. Brad is about to destroy his homeroom.

You know you're going to get caught, right?

I never get caught.

You always get caught. You're going to get to tension, miss soccer practice, and coach is going to bench you.

I'm not worried.

Whatever. 41, 42, 43.

Molly?

44, 45, 46.

What are you doing?

Counting steps.

Oh, another math test?

How do you know? 47, 48, 49.

You always count things when you have a math test.

Counting keeps me from freaking out.

You studied, right? Of course. Then you'll do Fine. You're good at math.

Not good enough. I've only got an A minus.

I'd do anything for an A minus.

Anything except study. 69, 70, 71. I need to get a better grade than Katrina. She's the worst.

Come on, Katrina's not that bad.

You only think that because she has a crush on you.

What can I say? She's got good taste.

Don't make me barf. Oh, no.

What?

I lost count. We got to go back and start over. No way. I can't be late. I got to get this Whoopy cushion onto Brad's seat before he sits down. Fine. I'll start again, but it won't be accurate.

You're such a nerd. But it may make you happy to know I once counted 1,224 steps from my front door to school.

So it's 1,224 steps.

1,224 max steps. My feet are bigger than yours.

What size are you? Nine. I'm a six, which means your foot's how much bigger than mine?

Are you trying to get me to do math?

Come on, you can figure this out. Nine minus six is three. Three is half of six. Another way to say half is 50%, which means your feet are 50% bigger than mine.

Oh, I see.

And if it takes you 1,224 steps to get to school, then it would take me.

Oh, that's easy. 1,224 times 2, which is 2,448. Bam.

Not quite. My foot is 50% smaller than yours, which means it takes one and a half or 1.5 of my feet to equal one of yours. The correct calculation is 1,224 times 1.5. Half of 1,224 is 612. 612 plus 1,224 equals... 1,836 steps.

Hey, did you know it takes 1,860 steps to reach the top of the Empire State Building?

Where'd you get that from? A book on tall buildings. Oh, Mg, you are so random. Thanks. Hey.

Hey.

Uh-oh. What happened?

I've got good news and bad news. The good news is my prank worked to perfection. Brad sat down and stuck up the whole room. Everyone cracked up.

What's the bad news?

I got caught. I have detention.

Who could have seen that coming?

How'd your math test go?

I worried for nothing. I aced it. The only thing I got wrong was the extra credit.

Whoa. The great Molly got something wrong? What was it?

The formula for making slime? I, of course, got it right.

Who asked you, Katrina?

Um, Max did. Hi, Max.

Hey.

I'll come cheer you on at soccer practice.

Um, I won't be at soccer practice today, but you can cheer for him in detention. Nice one, Maal. The orb. Grab the orb.

I'm grabbing, I'm grabbing. I missed it. You ever think of calling a truce with Brad?

A truce?

No Why do you hate him so much?

Because why do you hate Katrina so much?

That's different. Try again? Definitely. What's that?

A message from Aunt Murgatroid. I didn't know she knew my gamer tag. Are you kidding?

Aunt Murgatroid knows everything.

It says G-N-O-D-G-N-I-D. What's a gnognid?

No idea.

Must be a riddle. She loves puzzles and riddles.

Your aunt is so cool.

Another message. Reflection is key to understanding.

Definitely a riddle.

Yeah, but how do you reflect a ganadganid?

With a mirror?

Oh, look, in the mirror, ganadganid Reflected spells, ding-dong.

Whoa.

Relax, Rufus. It's just a package.

But I don't see a delivery truck.

No, with that black van speeding away. Hey, a package is addressed to me.

Max, wait. There's a note from Aunt Muggetroid. It says, Don't dare open it. Don't dare tell. Bury it deep. Bury it well.

Awesome. More riddles.

Don't dare open it. Don't dare tell. I guess that means don't open it and don't tell anyone about it. What's the point of sending me a package I can't open?

And what does bury it deep, bury it well mean?

I guess we're supposed to bury it in a deep well?

Auntie Murkertroid just texted a pin drop in Vernon woods.

Maybe that's where we're supposed to bury it. Can we finish our game first? No. Come on.

Are we really going to bury it without It's not opening it? Just a quick peek.

Wow. You are just allergic to following directions. I doubt your aunt would put us through all this trouble if it wasn't important.

You don't know my aunt. She's pretty cookey.

I think we're supposed to go through there. Where? That tunnel.

That's not a tunnel. That's a borough. For small animals. Are you saying we have to crawl through there?

I'm not. Aunt Murgatroid is.

I better not I'll get bit by an angry badger.

Come on, you big baby. I'll go first.

When we get home, remind me to change my gamer tag.

That wasn't so bad. Seriously?

I've got mud in my eyebrows.

Where are we? This clearing is completely surrounded by foliage.

You mean bushes?

I guess your aunt didn't want anyone to see us bury this. Whatever it is.

Another message from our aunt Murgatroid. The hole must be two times deeper than the volume of the package. Oh, boy, that sounds complicated.

Actually, it's not hard as long as you know the formula for measuring the volume of something.

You know it?

You know it?

No, I don't.

No, I mean, you know it as in I know it.

Oh, of course.

To find the volume of something, you simply multiply its length times width times height. All we have to do is measure the package's dimensions, then multiply. Sweet.

Did Did you bring a ruler?

No. Did you?

No. Why do you think I asked? How can we measure a package without something to measure it with?

That I don't know.

Wait, I got it. It's just like this morning when we used our feet to count steps. All we need is a unit, any unit, to measure the package with. A ruler uses inches or centimeters, but we can use something else.

What?

Like my pencil. Check it out. First, I see how many pencils long this package is. One, two, three, four. Package length equals four pencils. Width, two, and we'll say a half pencil. Height, one pencil.

Awesome. Now all we have to do is multiply. 4 times 2.5 times 1. That equals... 10? Nice, Max. Cool.

So we just have to dig a hole that's 10 pencils deep?

20. Remember, Aunt Murgatroid said to dig a hole twice as deep as the volume of the package. Good catch.

Okay, let's start digging.

Did you bring a shovel?

No. Did you?

Why do you think I asked? Come on, we'll use our hands.

Morning, Mall.

Hey, Max. I could barely sleep last night. I couldn't stop thinking about what wild adventure your aunt's gotten us into.

Yeah, she's pretty out there. It took me an hour to get the mud out from under my finger nails.

Oh, poor Max. Have you heard from your aunt, Murgatroid, again?

Nope.

My locker's jammed.

Allow me.

Eew.

Why is your locker filled with green slime?

I didn't do it.

Then who did?

Katrina. This means war.

You sure you don't want to call a truth? It's aunt Murgatroid with another equation. Yay.

Let me see. Dig time equals 22 UTC. I'm guessing dig time means when we should dig up the package. But what's UTC? There isn't enough information to solve that equation.

Maybe it's an equation. Then what is it? A time. Utc stands for coordinated universal time. It's a standard used to set all the time zones around the world.

How did you know that, Aunt Murgatroid? Figures.

So let's see. 22 UTC is about 4:00 PM.

Whoa, how on Earth did you get that?

Because he taught me Wisconsin's UTC time minus 6 hours.

Okay, but 22 isn't a time.

Sure it is. It's military time.

Military time?

Yep, it's how they tell time in the army, so nobody gets confused between AM and PM. In military time 1 AM to 12:00 noon is represented as 1:00 through 12:00, just like normal. But then, instead of starting over with 1 PM, instead they call it 13 or 013:00 hours. 2 PM is 14, 3 PM is 15, and so on. Until you reach midnight, which is 24. 22 is actually 10:00 PM.

But because Wisconsin's time zone is UTC minus 6, you'd have to subtract 6 hours from the UTC time. 22 minus 6 equals 16, which equals 4:00 PM in military time.

Or 10:00 PM minus 6 hours equals 4:00 PM in standard time.

I got to say, it's amazing the things you do and don't know.

Thanks. Wait, I have soccer practice at 4:00 PM.

And I have banned. What should we do? I can't believe I ditch banned.

Oh, I'm sure they could find someone else to bang the bass drum once or twice. Coach is going to bend me for sure. But hey, I got to know what's in that package.

Same. At least we brought shovels this time.

4:00 PM. Dig time. I don't remember it being so deep.

Well, it is 20 cubic pencils.

Found it.

All right, let's see what all the fuss is about.

Wait, did she say to open it?

Why would she have us dig it up if we're not supposed to open it? Max. Fine. I'll wait. Sant Murgatroid. Open the package. Yes. What is it? What are all these dials?

It looks like an radio my mom keeps in the attic. Only these dials say date and time.

It's a video message from aunt Murgetroid.

Hi, Max. Hi, Molly. I don't have time to explain fully, but the device you dug up is capable of transporting you anywhere in time or space. You know, like a time machine.

Seriously?

Seriously. Whoa. You must promise to tell no one of its existence or even let it out of your possession. And never Never use it unless instructed by me. Max, what are you doing? How do you turn this thing on?

Max, don't. She said not to use it.

You're kidding, right? You actually believe this is a time machine?

Why would she make that up?

Because she loves playing pranks. It runs in the family. I don't think... It turned on. Max, relax. It's just an old radio. I wonder I wonder what this button does. We are definitely not in Hoshkosh, and this definitely isn't a radio.

This episode of mysteries About True Histories was written by Dan Gold and Adam Tex Davis. It was voiced by Dexter Dane Jermio, Molly Smith, Sheila Morris, Kaitlyn Gard, and Leslie Higgins. Original music by Brian Suarez. Our Associate producer is Max Kamaski. Technical Direction and Sound Design by Josh Han. The executive producers are Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Kolber from Atomic Entertainment. And Jed Baker and Agaranish A. Palmer from Starglow Media. Misteries About True Histories is a Starglow Media and Atomic Entertainment production. Grownups, looking for ad-free audio fun for the whole family? Subscribe to Starglow Plus on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more at starglowmedia. Com/subscribe. Catch you on the next Mysteries About True Histories.