The sponsor of this episode is BetterHelp. Do you ever find that just as you're about to fall asleep, your brain won't stop talking? Just yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Dude, one way to quiet those thoughts is therapy, and we suggest BetterHelp.

Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp. Com/neds today to get 10 % off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/neds. Exciting news, guys. We are here to announceThat.

The Neds noodles have finally reached.

No, dude. We're doing NEDS PONLIVE! Hey!

Hey! Let's go!

No more of this screen action. We want to see you in person.

Hey, Space is limited at the Regent Theater in downtown.

Los Angeles. Monday, November 13th, we're bringing Neds Declassified, podcast, Survival God, and all its insanity. Monday, November 13th, in-person.

All the smells. All the nostalgia.

All.

The.

Realness. Come see us. Tickets are available now. Link in the description. Hey.

Hey. On the podcast. Oh, my. And a very special podcast because we have gifts. What? Oh, damn. What is this?

Damn.

I threw that at you.

Brought to you by one of our loyal supporters. Make sure there's no asses.

Showing on there.

Oh, is that a note? It's okay, buddy. Here, I'm going to get...

God, tank. Oh, I've ruined it. I'm so sorry. It was so cute.

Hey, Ned's pod. Please don't think I'm creepy. Lo. We don't. Daniel gave me the green light to send you all some goodies. Sending all of this to you, guys, is beyond my wildest dreams. My nine, ten-ish year old self would shit her pants if someonesays I told her this would be happening. Sounds like one of our fans. My name is Alyssa, and I created and owned my own Tubler business. Tublers are coffee, Begbridge cups. I make all kinds of things, but Tublers are my main item. Making designing them brings me so much joy, and it is my biggest dream to have everyone big and small own one of my Templars. So getting the chance to send my favorite childhood, adulthood, humans, means everything to me. I swear your podcast is on daily, and I rush to every new episode, TikTok and patron update. I hope you guys love your Templars, but even if you don't, just lie to me.

I would be honored to send you more for your personal pods, events, or even crew. Just let me know. You hear that? Crew? Crew, I don't know. I have so many ideas for designs for each of you, but I didn't want to look insane. I did, however, need to send Lindsay a custom design I had that reminded me of her. I promise you'll be next, Devon and Daniel. I have music themed Tumblers in the works for you, too. Feel free to reach out for any future Tumbler needs. I'm your girl. My website is still in the works, but you can find me on TikTok and Facebook at Tumbler Bay, B-A-Y, and your patron. Yeah. As Alyssa, this has been a dream for me. Please enjoy. Thank you, Alyssa. Patron sending gifts to the pot.

We love that. Let's see them. -holding my heart right in your hand. -crack them out, Daniel. -there's a lot of great tendonship. -hey, what is.

This from? -it's beautiful. -oh, all of them are down here. Oh, care instructions. -i feel like you're elected. -they're care instructions. I'll read those later. This is very.

Nice packaging though. -because we do have a rewatch to do.

Let's be quick. Oh, Chapstick for me. Are you saying I have dry lips?

Oh.

My gosh. Look, she put it on the thing.

That's super cool.

Oh, my gosh. She made us pop sockets for the back of the phone. We love that. And look at these Chapstick with the...

That.

One's yours. Oh, here's your chapstick. You crusty-lipped person. Oh, we're on them all. I thought it was just my face.

Yeah, it's all of us, Daniel.

This is great. Oh, my.

Gosh, these are so cute.

We have Ned's chapstick? We might need to hire you to do some of our merch here, Alyssa.

I am like, these are.

So cute. What is this thing, dude? A car coaster, it says.

This is a car coaster?

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, so your cup holder doesn't get all sweaty.

We got four. Dylan can have one now. That's great. Let's see the tumbles.

Okay, we're unveiling. For those just listening on audio.

Just a girl who loves wieners. Oh, that's perfect, Alyssa.

Dude. With a bunch of wiener dogs on it. Are you kidding me? Alyssa, you know Lindsay so well because literally every time I see a wiener dog out in the world, I try and get a video of it, and I send it to Lindsay.

So much joy, Alyssa. It's like you know me forever. Oh, my God, these.

Are so cute. Yeah, when I was in Amsterdam, I basically chased down this family to film their little wiener dog so I could send it to Lindsay.

Just.

Too much joy in the world. Alyssa, Slam dunk.

Thank you. Alyssa, thank you so much. This is so dope.

That's justOh, my gosh, you monochromed.

Oh, you get one of the regular ones, too. And that's.

Going to be yours.

This is so cool. Alyssa, thank you so much because honestly, we use cups when we're filming the pod and we're always drinking stuff, so we're going to use them. Should we just put Alyssa's-That's what I'm saying.

We might just use Alyssa's tumbler for the pod now.

Let's talk all this away for now.

Oh, my gosh. And a straw cleaner? You brought everything.

Let's get to our rewatch. Alyssa, you're.

The jam. Alyssa, you are the truth, man. I love how this is packaged. This is amazing. Is this here or will it be.

In the stuff? I'm going to literally make sure that all my goodies, I'm going to specifically get them, Alyssa.

Thank you so much. Thank you, Alyssa. You're the best.

Dude, this is so tight.

Wow, it's so joyous.

Our fans are- Did you just smell it? Yeah. They're the best. Yeah, like a new cup.

You love that new Tubbler smell?

These are Tubblers from Alyssa. I mean, and look at that. It's not just stuck on.

It's nice quality, dude. Yeah, how did you... That monogram stuff is sexy.

Thank you so much. And thanks for being a patron. If any listeners or viewers would like to become a patron, patreon. Com/nedspod. We put a bunch of crazy-Even.

Weirder shit up on there.

-behind-the-scenes content on there, more raw stuff, and we do live streams with just the patrons, and it's a good time.

Wow, I am so joyous. That was lovely.

Yeah, we've been gifted. Hey, guys.

Oh, I thought.

You were doing this. I wasn't. Okay. Today, we're rewatching Notes. Notes, yes. Season 1, episode 10-ish, 10-A. Here's the recap. Get ready, it's long. Ned gets caught passing a note for Bitsy, the pre-missy, meany, blonde, bitchy girl.

Susie Crabbrass is in on.

It, too. Yes. Ned gets caught passing a note for Bitsy and takes the heat for it from Sweeney, and Sweeney makes him write a big report, and he has a choice to make. Is he going to be a snitch? Is he going to be a rat? Or is he going to take the heat for this Bitsy? And Ned ain't no snitch. Bitsy is a little asshole about it. Okay, Cookie plays Mop-Bucket-Chicken with Lumur and is late to Derga's class, and he has to get Derga a note from a teacher saying why he was late, which brings us to Lé Forger. Lé Forger. Lé Forger. Tyler Chase, who plays Martin Quirley. Mohs is getting love notes in calligraphy, and she starts off foolishly assuming that it's Seth who's writing them.

Who's an actual idiot?

Seth Powers, who's an actual idiot. Orange.

Orange.

Orange. Seth trying to come up with a rhyme for Orange for his basketball, and Orange is a word that has no rhyme.

Unless you're Eminem.

Facts. Facts. So then she thinks it's Lumer who's writing them. We do a little spit take gag.

Oh, that was hilarious.

I love that. That was awesome. You nailed that.

That was so seamless. He grabs some water from a passerby.

Yeah, that was so fun. Moses is like, I think it's Lumer who's writing these notes. I'm like, Hold on one second and grab some water from a passerby just to do a spit taste.

But it was a perfect spit taste. You did a good one. I love.

The slapstick comedy. Man, that's one of the joys of Ned.

But then the sequence, I was so surprised we didn't smile during that sequence because it was so funny. We were all three doing something so funny in that scene, and I just feel like, yeah, it took a second.

Yeah, we got it.

Before that, can I just mention this hilarious moment for Lumur was when you received the note and you're telling Ned about it, you're telling and I think, and you're like, Dude, I just got this note. I think it's from some cute boy. Lumer leans over and he's like, Oh, you got a note? Who wrote you a note or whatever? You're about to tell him who you think it is. Then you're like.

You.

Would never understand. He looks so heartbroken right there.

I thought that was-It was precious. Yeah, it was really precious. He's like, What's this love note about? Then you just crush his heart and soul. But then you do think it's Lumer who's writing it, so you start following him around to try and find out if it's him. While that's going on, CookieCuki.

Is abusing his newfound towards.

Yeah, he befriends Le Forger with coconut Macaroons and starts using the Forge notes for everything. Everything.

Getting massages. I'm having a shellfish dinner because I have a shellfish diet in the middle of class, massages.

Yeah, so Cookie is abusing La Forger. Ned finds out that... Oh, yeah, Moes follows Lumer around. Ned finds out that everyone is getting screwed by Bitsy passing notes. Everyone is writing this report, and everyone's like, I was passing a note for Bitsy. I was passing a note for Bitsy. They come up with a plan to get her in trouble. Meanwhile, Moes confronts Lumer. I loved that scene. You confront Lumer about, was this you writing the notes? He's like, I'm a complicated guy. But then his bully friends come up and are like, Is this a sappy love note?

Who wrote this?

And you call him out immediately. Moes snitches him immediately. They're like, Who wrote this? Moses is like, Him? Then they're like, What?

No.

Then he eats it? Then he eats it and you cover for him. I loved that scene. Yes, meanwhile, the teachers have used Cookie to get to Lay Forgeron and become full-on bond villain.

For a moment. Yeah, they're trying to get to the kingpin and they use me to.

Get to him. Yeah, they become like, slapstick.

You let us right to his lair.

Yes, but Cookie texts him and gets him out in time and they don't find... Cookie is no snitch either. Only Moses is a snitch. They're like, Who wrote this note? And Lindsay's like, This bitch. Yeah, and then Ned and the whole class cover bitsy and Nodes, get her in trouble, got her. And then at the end, we see that Martin Corly is La Forger.

What.

An episode. I'm sorry. Him breaking into those...

Like.

A little raccoon? Like a little grumpy? That was hilarious. That was hilarious.

So good.

The sponsor of this episode is Better Help.

Hey.

I'd like some therapy, please.

What are your symptoms? What are you feeling?

I feel depressed. It's really hard to get out of bed. Paranoid.

You don't look depressed.

Thanks.

Have you tried staying positive?

I've tried.

Are you on your period? No. Do you have insurance?

No.

Perfect. That'll be $700.

Don't let this happen to you. Betterhelp is designed to be convenient, all online, affordable, and makes it easy to find the right therapist for you. Betterhelp. Help. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp. Com/neds today to get 10 % off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P. Com/neds. This was a real fun one. A real, like silly, fun, good time.

That sequence was you do the spit take, then I say, do you think there's anything else that could be going on in Luber's brain and we're watching him from across the thing? Then he bites the flowers. It was one of the funniest because we were all just doing our own thing, but it flowed really... And then fucking yeah.

There was a funny moment at the beginning of the episode too, where you both come up to me with your situations with notes and wanting tips. I'm like, Okay, you go first, Moes. You're like, I was written this sappy love note in calligraphy. I just like, face you. I'm just like, Yeah, never mind. Cookie, go first. Just, Nope. Yeah, I love that. Then in the bloopers of this episode, we got to see Alex Black, who plays Seth Powers. Dude. Just hyming Orange with every syllabus, like putting every syllabus at the front of Orange. Orange. Orange.

Orange.

It's so fucking gold.

He's great. He's one of the greatest, man. Yeah.

God, his line reads.

Bro.

I really enjoyed this episode.

It was fun. It was a blast. It was absolutely a blast.

Did you guys ever enjoy the love note or two?

Sending a love note or two? No.

You never wrote your feelings for someone?

Never, and I never would.

But when you were a little kid, you wrote Devon that cute little note.

What are you talking about?

Fuck.

Off.

I mean, if we're going to write it off.

We're going to write it off. That jealous, projecting, passive-aggressive.

Headshot sign? Well, then that's probably the only love note I've.

Ever written. Dang.

Because Moes was real taken by.

This Love Note. Can I tell you? I am not a romantic person. Could you have a guest? No, actually. Are you serious? Yeah. Death does not equal romance.

Right.

I just feel that I had one very romantic boyfriend who would write me notes. In comparison to that, no, I am not a romantic at all. But it was really sweet to get the notes.

That's what I was going to ask. Do you like receiving romance or you're not into the conventions at all? The conventions of romance.

Receiving romance is nice. When it's in that nuanced style and it's really from the heart, just performative romance is like to me, but it was really from the heart and these notes meant a lot. I was like, Oh, that's really romantic. That's nice. But no, I never really returned to the gesture. When I was making money and actually had money, I used to connect with people with gifts and whatever, or just buy them something, right? Not a lot of thought went into the gift. Now that I have no money anymore, I'm a better.

Gift giver. That's cool. I think there can be a healthy asymmetry in a relationship where just because someone writes you a beautiful love note doesn't necessarily mean you need to return that love with a love note. Right. Yeah. As long as there's some giving take. Just a blow job. Yeah.

That's the quickest way to a.

Man's heart. Everybody wins.

Notes. Man, dang. I had one girlfriend, but this was back when there's puppy love going on. I think actually maybe two where I did the whole note-sharing thing. Actually, they were letters. I wouldn't call them notes. You wrote letters?

Love letters. Yeah, love letters.

We would put them in little envelopes and give them to each other. And this was in two of my relationships. One young lady, she just- I don't know who calls them.

Young ladies. I feel like just a southern thing. I've heard somebody.

Else say that. It's like a respectful southern thing. Love when he calls them a.

Young lady. One of them wasn't very great at... She expressed to me that she didn't like to express her feelings in person. Sometimes it feels better for her to just write things down and then hand something off. And she's such a skilled writer, too. She's such a skilled writer. That's beautiful. So really great stuff that made me feel awesome about myself and the fact that someone would share this with only me when it's like, Yo, you should be selling this, though. This is like, great. Wow. Yeah.

That's beautiful. Yeah, I think it can be really beautiful. It's a different thing to write someone out your thoughts and feelings and acknowledgment of them or you both or whatever that is. I definitely wrote love letters in my day. Definitely shared in the love letter. It's a nice form of love. It's a nice thing to sit down and like... Because you can see my love in action or in person in different ways. But it's something to write out, Hey, here's how I really feel. Here's some deep shit I probably wouldn't say, but I'll say it here. I'll write it here.

Yeah, because it's thought out. I would feel corny in person trying to just riff and give you this. Exactly. But when I've given the paid attention and wrote down, Hey, you make me feel like this. I like it when you...

That's nice. Yeah, I've never had it.

Nope.

Nope. Dang.

No, because you know what? I don't think I was actually experiencing any genuine feeling. Hold on. No, all of my relationships up until this point have been an escape from where I'm coming from, you know what I'm saying? Or this thing where it wasn't fully meared, performative stuff. I never got down to a point where I felt that vulnerable or that comfortable or that anything. I always was a little too damaged with my own trauma to think of anybody else in a real feeling way. Now I feel like it's much different. Just like I feel like I've gotten friends in the last two years, I feel like I can hold a conversation and know how to get to know people again. Now I would really be able to write it down because it's coming from me, wanting this relationship, as opposed to wanting this thing that wasn't resolved in myself and another person.

Makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, makes sense. Because yeah, it's a really selfless, in a lot of ways, it's just not a self-centered act. Let me sit, think about the beauty of this person and the intimate ways I feel about them and communicate it to them so they know and they feel good. That's a different state than you trying to escape your pain with them or whatever that is. Exactly.

You act more as a hanger on, I think, than somebody who's actually instead of elevating their energy, you're just hanging onto it. That can feel like love. You can feel like you want to do everything for each other and always be around each other. But really, it was not, you know what I mean? Yeah. I didn't value myself, and I didn't value him at that moment. That's wild.

Did either of you ever have to forge a note in school or anything like that?

I was such a goodie two-shoes in school.

Yeah, you were.

So you were never. So you were never.

I was a goodie two-shoes as far as it came to academia. But there's no way I'm not going on that class field trip just because my momma didn't sign this paper. I'm going to the Planetarium. I don't care what nobody says. So yeah.

Wow.

Why didn't your mom...

Why wouldn't- No, it was me being a dummy and forgetting about those things. Then you're like, Oh, fuck. Yeah, school. I was just so immersed in all the things I was doing, playing football and da da da. Then just sometimes that day comes and it's like, Oh, I didn't get permission.

Wait, wasn't there a Neds episode? I was also like-I got to be somebody-Maybe in the field trip.

We might get to it in field trips. Yeah, I think it was- It's a classic thing where someone needs a fake signature. On the.

Final episode.

Of Devinton's- They had to stay home. I thought they had to stay at school.

But he couldn't go to the garden, right?

No, it wasn't him. I think it was somebody else. But why.

Couldn't he go to the garden in the field trip episode.

Right, because I'm hiding the whole episode.

I think.

It was that. I think it.

Was that. I mean.

We'll get to it. We'll get to that in three years.

That'll be in like three years when we get to season three.

It's going to.

Be a while. It's going to.

Be a while.

Holy shit.

How about you? I don't think so. I don't think I ever faked. I don't think I ever forged a signature.

Did you ever? Well, but you were just on time with your stuff. You turned everything in. That's good.

I.

Guess.

When it came to school work, dude, I was that classic fucking procrastiny or we're like, I could get a good grade if I did the work, but why would I always do this to myself? Even now it happens sometimes. I guess it's just my creative process. Okay, anyways. It's just like waiting until the last goddamn minute and then finishing it with no time and this hyper-stressed energy. That was my mood on big projects that I should have taken a week to do. All of a sudden the night before, I'm doing it and my mom's like, Why do you do this every time? Because then she has to pick up the slack or make sure I have the poster board I need or whatever. I did it every fucking time. -getting the poster board.

So remember that. You would get a little seven pack or whatever. Use one and never use the other one.

-use one and take the other one away forever.

Bro.

Yeah, dude, I still am that way where until that necessity is on me.

I.

Got.

Time.

Half the reason I didn't fully watch all of the episodes is truly because I finally got a hold of my tax person, so that my tax extension by the October 15th so that they can be done. But obviously, I do this every year. I've at least the last three, where in April I'm like, Oh, I'm going to get that extension. Then every month I swear I think it's October. October is here.

October is.

Fucking here. Anyway, it throws me out every time, but I agree. Unless there's an impetus to really do it. I'm a bare minimum person. The rest of the time I like to like...

I do. And when I try and take the judgment off myself for being that way, I really like to look at it as like, no, that's smart. Like, biologically, you're being efficient. Like, no extra. No extra. No. You're taking care of what needs to be taken.

Care of, right? And if it can be done the night before, then I'm going to do it then. Why do I need to take a whole.

Week to do it? Yeah. I don't know. It's sometimes like, gosh, all that time can really be a constraint.

I have been learning. I've done that enough times when it comes to booking flights or booking an Airbnb or a hotel for a trip that I know I'm going on. I've done it enough times where like, Oh, I could book this right now. Nah. And then when I go to actually book it, the price is tripled. There's less options. I'm like, no, dude, do things like that early. I'm getting better at that, at learning what things. Handle that, dude. Handle it early.

You got to have to, man, because it sucks because you'll come up with all these excuses for yourself, too. It's like, oh, well, I shouldn't be going on the trip if I can't spend $500 on it. But you could have gotten it for $250. But screw all that. Yeah, it's tough, man. But guys, please just do it now. When it pops in your head and you know that it's something where there's a finish line or a date that's going to start approaching a deadline, do it before that deadline. I mean, I guess that's the... Yeah. I mean, we should all know to do that. That's common sense, but sometimes common sense is not common, and we're all human.

I also think that while it can get done, how much quality are you actually sacrificing? What is the potential of that project that you're sacrificing, right? By not having put in any time into it to make it the best thing it can be. Just ripping something up overnight, I just feel like a lot is lost in creative potential.

Definitely. You're right. Yeah, I feel that with auditions, for sure. Sometimes you have no time anyway. You just don't have time and you have to throw it out the wall real quick. But there's definitely been times in my past where I'm like, Why did I do whatever the fuck the other night instead of giving myself more time with this material? Why would I not sit and explore this deeper? What am I doing? I had to learn that.

One too, anytime. That's a mix of procrastination and also prioritization. Just not having those ideals in the right place. Packing bags for traveling, I mess around and don't pack my bag until the morning of. I could have a flight at 5:00 AM. I'm like, Well, I got to be up at 3:00. Well, not even 2:00 AM. 2:00 AM in L.

A. No wonder you were late to our.

Fucking flight.

He's never going to let you forget that. No, he's never.

I love it. I love how late.

It was.

Like last person morning.

I believe I was the only person who could have made that flight in that being that late.

That was horrible. You tap dancing the thing that you thought you bought.

Yourself, and then having to just tap everybody on the shoulder. Dude, I think we talked about this on the phone. We could.

Talk about it again. That shit is so funny. It was horrible.

I thought that I bought this... Well, not thought that I bought, I did. I bought this- Skipped.

The line pass. -skipped the line pass.

Everybody's just like, Oh, go talk to that security guard. Then this security guard tells me, Oh, go talk to this person. My flight's leaving in like 20 minutes maybe, and I'm not even through security. Then I finally get to one of these yellow-jacketed security guards, and I show them my pass. Here's my front of the line pass. You're supposed to walk me to the front? He's like, Oh, yeah, just tap everybody on the shoulder. We got to catch a flight. What do you mean? What do you mean? I had to.

Pay you?

I had to pay you.

To do this myself? To do this. It was like 50 bucks.

Oh, my God. You got scammed. And it was just so cringey. I tapped everybody on their shoulder. Oh, I bet.

It's awful.

Yeah, Spirit Airlines, guys.

Don't do it. Yeah, I've beat that part of my... I've gotten so much better at packing. I wouldn't do it the morning of, but I would leave it until the night before. Then I'd be up really late rather than resting or feeling calm. I'd be like, up packing and my brain half working. I've started to get better at that where like, let me pack at least the day before, like morning before or two days before. Let me be done.

Two days.

Two.

Days.

Then airports, I try and get to. I'll be there early, dude. I'll fucking read. I'll fucking shop. Not really. I'll just look at shit. I'd rather be there an hour and a half early than feel those feelings.

It's so much stress, man. Dude, I'm sure I've taken years off my life from trying to force something that could have been so simple.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Notes. Yeah, notes. What else with notes?

Notes, I guess, marks, report cards. I don't know if that's really notes, but I just want to segue there. Did you guys ever have to have your parents sign your report card to let the teacher know?

Always. Yeah, I think through some.

Schooling, yeah. I got a huge spanking once because back in Mississippi, we had this garage, and there was this one section that none of us ever went to. My parents, they put all their old stuff there. I had been stashing report cards under there. And then one day or... Actually, one week I overhear my dad saying, Yeah, we got to clean out the garage. You got to clean up the garage. I never really paid attention to it, but this was maybe two years of report cards. Only the report cards that weren't so great. It was like if I had gotten a talking too much in class. It wasn't about the grades. Those were all As Bs, but talking too much.

What did you tell the teacher when you were supposed to have the thing signed?

I.

Laughed.

At that. You're just bullshit. I don't know. So maybe those teachers were just not on top of their stuff enough because they let me slide by. My parents never got calls or anything.

I guess maybe for the behavioral stuff, but maybe your grades were just good enough to where you really only require it from- But.

It was the talking too much, that class clown thing. I remember my dad waited for me to get out of the shower.

No, no.

Had the belt ready. No. I cleaned out the garage, Dan. What is this? All these report cards. You ain't... And then my mom just like, Dan. If my mom was a teacher, she was just so sad. Yes, we spanked in our household. Damn.

When you're coming out of the shower all fucking, like steamy, moisturized.

Yeah, it was. Subtle skin. Yes. I never hid another report card. I'll tell you that.

Wait, so they were just disappointed that you hid him. Not really what.

Was that? Also that I was talking in class.

They were still mad that you were talking to class.

Just enough. Just enough.

Wow. Now did your brother get the same report that you did? Like, theor did he talk in class? Was he good in class?

What did.

He get? Oh, Nate.

He.

Was good in school, but he was just combative with people. Shocking. Yeah, shocking. Nate? No, yes, I remember. And it was always, Yeah, my teacher, she's just mean. No, no, Rob. He takes the antagonistic position. Exactly. He will argue a point. No, you've just been playing Devil's advocate. Just don't play Devil's advocate. Forever, yeah. Wow. So he was argumentative, I think, with the teachers, and he would come up with great arguments, and they're like, I'm getting sick of it. He got mini a call, mini a call.

That's great. I'm getting sick.

Of this. You were a straight A kid, right? I was. Yeah, I was -too. -i -Bees were unacceptable.

Oh, my God. I would start crying. I was that really annoying kid, super annoying, who would cry anytime the teacher was upset. I would cry. I remember this one time we would have to go to church every day before school, and it was fucking 8:00 AM, right? I would rest my head back on the few just a little. But then I thought I had gotten away with it for this whole mass, and there was a couple of other kids doing this. I was like, they can't catch all of us, right? She dismisses everybody else for mass. The whole school was there so that everybody else is dismissed. She keeps us in there, and she freaking thrashes us about laying our heads back right in front of God.

How dare you rest.

In front of God. I mean, she is literally yelling at us in church, and I'm just like... It was the first day of fifth grade, and I just didn't want to be considered- A bad kid. -at all because I just wasn't. But I was tired and I was the only one crying. I knew everybody else was looking at me like, What a fucking loser. I was just like, because it was the cool kids who had also been and I was just like... I had to walk back to class with them and it was just so embarrassing.

Dang, but you were cool for that moment.

With the.

Cool kids. You're such a loser.

Yeah, I was a.

Straight-a boy. It was literally like, Please love me. For a teacher, it.

Was so deep. Yeah, some of them don't.

I.

Was a straight-A boy, but it was talking for me. I would get in trouble with that. Then I had a sleep thing in middle school. The period before lunch didn't matter how much fucking sleep I got. The period before lunch, I can't even keep my fucking eyes open. The teachers, the school literally called my mom and was like, Is he not getting enough sleep at night? She's like, He literally gets fucking 9, 10 hours of sleep at night. I don't know what to tell you. That period before lunch, dude, I was just out every time. Couldn't keep my fucking eyes open. No. I was just a little snoozer.

A little.

Snoozy boy. Did you have a recess or something before that class? No. So it wasn't like you were just running or something.

No, something like that. That was like my lapse in energy, my dip in energy. Just your circadian rhythm. Yeah, my rhythm was like 11:00 AM, time to go back to sleep. We've been up four hours. Should probably.

Take a nap. Wow.

Yeah, it was a fun one. And then here's the story that then that was funny. This is actually a round notes. I was a nice dude.

With some nice dreams.

I'm a nice.

Dude with.

Some nice dreams. This was in middle school and all the teachers had like, I had a good relationship with most of my teachers because I was just a pretty talkative kid. So even though I would get in trouble for that, they knew I was smart and got good grades, so whatever. Had a pretty good relationship. I was friends with pretty much everyone. I didn't have a group. I was friends with everyone. Cool people, not cool people, whatever. Guys, girls. I was just friendly with everyone. Let's call this girl Penelope. I was friends with Penelope. Penelope. That's not her name, but whatever. I was friends with Penalope. Penalope. Okay. We were being friendly for a while. Then one of the teachers one time, one of my favorite teachers, she was like, Hey, Devon, we got to talk after class. She was with me and I was like, Fuck. Like, what? She sat me down and she's like, I don't know how to say this, but she's like, Multiple teachers have found notes from girls talking about, if you like them or not or if you're leading them on or not. Basically, this drama of these girls, multiple writing about whatever.

Devon, what does that tell you?

I know I read a lot of this story, but I literally hadn't thought about this in so long until the notes episode. But the truth was I wasn't leading them on. I was.

Just-sexy.

As hell. I was just hot and friendly.

Devon's a flirter, though.

You flirt. I am, but I flirt with Daniel. I flirt non... It's not about sex. You think that those.

Girls could have discerned that, or that you could have discerned that.

At that age?

Those little girls couldn't. All they knew is they were feeling something somewhere that they had never known before.

Damn.

That's the truth. Inhese all they knew is they were getting attention.

You're like, Do I rub it? Do I just think about it? What is it? You know what I'm saying? There's like that frustrating two weeks before you really know how to deal with it where you're just like, I'm frustrated. I'm mad at it when I get that feeling.

I guess they wrote notes and multiple girls had notes fallen to the hands of teachers that I literally had to have-Intervention.

Yeah, and she was just like, What's going on? Mind of like, Why is this happening with multiple? Are you leading them on?

I'm like-What does that even mean?

-they're just my friends. Dude, I was so not... I wasn't trying. There's no motive. I was just friendly.

Wow. Wow.

It's hard to.

Be beautiful. You're saying.

Basically everybody liked you. Everybody liked you.

Everyone.

Was.

Falling in love.

Wow. Once again, nobody fucking liked me in school. Didn't have a boyfriend, didn't have this, that, or other. I had a little one when I moved out here or whatever, but all the boys were like-Which is shocking because you had breasts. They were literally just like, Oh, they just treated me as the smart person, like a smart person. They weren't attractive.

Their eyes weren't.

Making their way down. No. You know what I mean? I was just like-They were missing that. Oh, man, I had such a crush on Robbie Karhoff, and of course, Emily Kreglo.

Still some feelings, huh? Yeah, be.

With him. I'll never forget how horrible I felt when he was moving away and he said goodbye to Emily. But not me with that Tinder look. I'm never Lindsay with that tender look.

He's just like, All right, then.

Until.

Me. Until you. I was like...

Yeah, I never had anything like that in school. Really just been asexual my whole life, and now I'm trying to jump into that sexual pool.

And-you were asexual with me.

Hey. Nice.

It's good stuff. Hey, Daniel. How did you get here?

Hey, Daniel. How did you get here? I've been here. I've been sitting.

Wow. I can give you guys some space if.

You.

Need.

Fuck it. No, I never was passing notes. I never got notes. Notes were never about me.

Even to your friend, girls, you all didn't do it. I felt like ladies did it more than guys.

What about those notes that were like, this is probably elementary school, the do you like me notes.

Oh, I remember those. Remember those?

I remember those. Sorry, nerd.

Sorry, nerd. They just had a.

Little box. Sorry, nerd. They just just get both of you. But this is like a thing. This was like part of elementary school communication. Do you like me in a little box for yes, no? I think people would often add a maybe, which is just like, Why give yourself that ambiguity?

All right, the only one of those notes that I ever did was actually it was in person, but that type of note. My friend asked a guy that I liked if he liked me while I was standing there putting my shoes on in front of him, and he just goes, Oh.

That's got to hurt.

How old? How old?

Twelve. -devastating. -dang, yeah. -heartbreaking.

-devastating. Then that was the next day I moved to California, and I was just like, Forget all that. I don't.

Need it. I'm an L. A.

Girl now. I'm getting my restart.

Fuck you, Nebraska, boys. And you know what? Kevin Farley, you know who you are? Kevin Farley? No, he's actually a good friend of.

My family. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

It was him? Farley's, yeah. It was him who said-He.

Literally just goes, I'll never. It's like a snapshot in my mind forever.

Well, that's why that note exists because doing it in front of someone, so harsh. The note, if the check is no, you can cry in private, right?

Yeah. Right? Yeah, that's great. I think I got a, Eew. No. Once before. No. I mean, but it's the easiest thing. I think then you've never experienced that. No, I for.

Sure have. Yeah, it's just the easiest thing. At that age, for sure there were times where I was like, Hello. They're like, Ew. I'm like, I'm a monster.

Dang, would you live to fight another day?

That's right, you do. That's great. That's right, you do.

Or either they ask them, Oh, do you like this person? They're like, Oh. Now, that one hurts.

That one hurts. No, when he's just like, Oh, no, I love him. No, no, no. One of the best friends. Oh, no, she's cool. She's cool as hell. But do you want to fuck? No.

That's my dog, right?

No, usually not. That's my buddy.

Yeah.

Little baby loves, too. Such a funny thing, man. Yeah. Do you like me? Yes. That nothing happens.

The human desire to be loved.

Yeah, to be appreciated. Dude, I ran through every Neds cast member before I landed on Devon. Remember that?

The chosen one. You take that one of two ways.

I just remember telling Theo that I liked him and we held hands at the movie. He's so mysterious. And Rob. Then Dev was like, Hey. I was like, Fuck you guys. Hey.

Yeah, you definitely had your pick for a minute there. Between Rob, Theo, and me. Any others?

No, Kyle scared me. Really? Because he had used that big dog. He had already lost his virginity.

You needed.

Someone who had - I said he had it. It was Afterness.

Well, all right, it was Afterness.

I know, Jesus. I don't know how to say that big dog. Just using that is like sound so factual. Jesus Christ. I'm using that big dog.

Holy hell. But yeah, you had reached that point where you were liked by all the boys.

Meaning she had breasts. Breasts will do that. They have that.

It got messy and complicated with old coconut head and you and me. It got messy and complicated with old Rob. Is there drama? Yeah, there was drama back in the day.

Oh, dear God. Let's invite him back on to talk.

About that. You know, it's in the past, but there was drama.

Between-but it happens. Yeah, it.

Gets messy. It's so far back there. There's not residual feelings, but that was.

A big mess, dude. I know it was big at that time. I can't.

Believe he.

I can't.

Believe he.

Yeah, it was a big mess, man. Oh, my God. Dude, that interaction set the course of my next 10 years. That was the moment. I can remember the moment in my car. I know the moment that the heart broke. Then it was like, I don't think that I'm... Am I still here? Am I okay? No. Then Alexa, which I will never fail to be so grateful for her because I needed her, and she really stood with me at a time when I was lost at sea. I didn't even know the amount of pain that was being triggered from our breakup. Then subsequently, just the whole friend group dissolved. Everybody that I had grown to love and trust, probably for the first time in my life was like, gone.

Yeah, it was such a hard time just because first love, which was so big, but at that age, you have no capacity. Where our loves were at the time, we're never going to stay together, and couldn't at that age. But loved each other so deeply, loved Ned so deeply, Ned's ends. That's already difficult, but we're still dating for a while. Then our shit just ended. It's so messy, really, and just shocking and quick and painful. It devastated me, too, and set just such a strange next journey. But that is growing up is like, Oh, fuck, this thing has crumbled. Now I'm finding my way into the unknown, and I have no skills yet to know what's good, what's bad. Yeah, that was a time, Lindsay.

That was a.

Fucking time. We had a time. That was a messy time. Honestly, truly so fucking grateful life has gone the way it's gone that we've gotten to stay in each other's lives and now be in each other's lives in this way, like in a real way, in an intimate way, in a way where we're building together. I value both your friendships so much now. I couldn't imagine my life without your friendships now. Right. But so much of our lives were apart for so long. It's so interesting, man. Life's so fucking weird and cool.

Yeah. Nice. Acquiring adult understanding enough to see eye to eye with people, even when there is that little bit of hurt.

Yeah, even with Rob, it's like now I'm like, we're all good. Fucking it's all good.

But damn, was that messy at the time.

Those moments can feel so real. I'd love to hear more about that one day.

Someday.

Let's get Dev back on it. What the fuck?

Say a Rob for me, you bitch.

You got to pick.

You got a pic. I'm doing this new season. I got around Rob and you again.

Cool, man. Do you guys got any tips?

Tip? Tip? Tip it a little. Snoops? Take notes on yourself before taking notes on anyone else, aka glass houses. I don't know what that means. It's like, don't ye without sin cast for a stone? Yeah. Right? So basically self-appraise yourself before you project your appraisal onto somebody else, aka notes, aka full circle.

Wow.

Jesus, don't tickle me. Jesus Christ, Lindsay.

Jesus.

Christ. I'm going to put this to the cross.

Do.

It.

There it is. That was juicy. There it is.

There it is. My tip, notes, thisconversation. My tip notes this conversation. Here's my tip. Write, if you're someone struggling with self-love, I want you to write a love letter to your self or younger self. Acknowledge your sofa the beautiful things you can see in yourself. And if that's hard for you, then that's a good exercise. Look for what would you want someone to write a love letter and tell you and acknowledge you for it and do it for yourself just as a practice in self-love and in acknowledging yourself, because sometimes it's very easy to forget about ourselves and actually that you need to know your value. And sometimes you actually have to spell that out for yourself. So literally, write yourself a love letter.

I.

Don't know. I just came up with it.

I love it. I love it.

It's so good. I just came up with it. That's really great. The notes.

To be able.

To solve.

That's litty. Notes. Notes. My tip would be so that we can avoid procrastination, let's take note of the things that we need to do, okay? Okay. Yeah, because that way you can have tabs on it and nothing will just come up on you and you got to stand there and be like, Oh, my God. How did this deadline? You knew it was.

Coming the whole time. Yep, you did. You are not a victim of your own procrastination. I mean, you are, but you're not a victim.

Stay prepared. Take note and take action.

I was talking to myself.

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