I was in Brussels last year doing shows. Something interesting happened when I was in Brussels, which you don't get to see every day.

They had a baby panda in Brussels Zoo and they told you on the news how they make baby pandas.

Yeah, it's not how you think. It's not a mummy panda and a daddy panda. Fucking pandas are not down to fuck. They're sort of like the opposite of girls from Dublin. Has the look of civic pride there from some of the ladies there, a look as if to say we do like the DE. Oh, so if you want to have a baby panda, what you do is you phone of the Chinese authorities, all pandas in the world are Chinese.

They'll lend you a panda. They're not giving away their pandas. So you're one of the Chinese authorities. They send over a panda fertility expert. Here's where it gets interesting. This panda fertility expert brings with him in his luggage a full size man size dress up, zip up panda outfit replete with enormous panda heads. Who knew that's not his name?

I'm saying I did not know the. So he flies to Brussels, he's got the outfit with him, he says hello to everyone in Brussels Zoo friendly enough as well he might be, and then it's right down to business. He dresses up from head to toe as a panda, pops on his big panda head, walks into Mr. Panda's enclosure dressed from head to toe as a panda. And he. He thinks of Mr. Amanda. Dressed as a panda.

So if anyone in here is thinking, oh, I've had a tough week at work. Have you? Have you, though, did you, Michael Fassbender, know you're fucking dead, so he wakes up and just incidentally, that is the day to visit the zoo. I'm all right. Come here, kids, you're not gonna believe this. I don't think that one's even a real Panya. So he wakes up to find a dress and they collect the panda semen, obviously, otherwise what just happened?

Who's our blogger? I thought he was with you. It's happened again. So they collect the panda semen and then they wait, they wait until the female panda is asleep in her enclosure, and then they creep into the female pandas enclosure as she sleeps and they artificially inseminated the female panda as she sleeps. I'm not sure who does that. I presume Bill Cosby. Watch Jimmy Carr for best of Ultimate Gold, Greatest Hits only on Netflix now.