You set up your WiFi in your garage?

That's where the attachment point is.

But you could have said, put it somewhere else.

I just haven't changed it yet.

That's such an Ed Kelsi move. I'll get around to it. It's like that second floor bathroom. That's still not done. We had to watch dad take shit with his newspaper because he took the door off the hinges.

Somebody bought a second floor bathroom in Cleveland Heights that a twelve-year-old soldered the pipes. 90% sure I didn't know how to sold or anything properly. This is so good.

It's like, Why the fuck is the pipes jacked up up here on the second floor?

Every week, something's wrong with that bathroom. What could be the problem? It's like a twelve-year-old soldered this thing together. Welcome back to New Heights, ladies and gentlemen, presented by Wave Sports and Entertainment, and brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings.

Let's go, sports bar. A true, true American sports fan. We would know how to react to that just by hearing the intro. We are your host. I'm Travis Kelsi. This is my big brother Jason Kelsi out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio. New episodes come to you guys every Wednesday. Subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcast, follow the show on all social media at newheights. Show. With one S, and check out our official fan club at newheightshow. Com. We've got a very, very special episode for you guys today. Jason, why don't you do the honors and let the people know what they got coming up? That's right. We We got an amazing episode for you, 92 Percenters. We got the one and only stand-up comedian actor and podcaster out of Naperville, North High School. Yeah, Naperville. You might know him from his stand-up hit specials, Homefield Advantage and Cheeseburger, or his acting roles on Dave, I'm Dying Up Here, and Ricky Stanecki. He is also the host of the hit podcast, Whisky Ginger and Bad Friends with Bobby Lee.

And he finally stopped dodging our calls and agreed to stop by on our podcast this week, please everyone, welcome Andrew Chido Santino. You. You. You. Hell, yeah. My motherfucking dog. The B-Dubs intro. Great, man. Dude, you were right on cue. Let's go. You were right on cue. Didn't even miss a beat. We should go right after this. Can I say the first time I met Jay, by the way? Can I say this real fast?

Yeah. That was burned into my memory when you were like, Yeah, my brother's going to be there. You're going to meet my brother. It was at your house, and we were partying, we were hanging out in the basement.

We were kicking it, having a great night.

I wanted to go upstairs to go make a phone call so I wasn't near the noise. I see you. Jason was outside. It was snowing. I remember that. He was laying outside on one of your deck chairs, sleeping in the snow as it was snowing in a T-shirt and shorts, sleeping in the snow. I was like, Hey, brother, you good? He was like, blah, blah, blah, like that. I I go, Trev, your brother is sleeping in the snow, and he goes, Oh, yeah. That's where he belongs. It's like, no big deal. He's like, Yeah, leave him alone. Leave the bear alone. That's what you said. Leave the bear alone, man. Don't wake the bear. Whatever you do, don't wake the bear right now. You were passed out in the snow, but you were just catching a break from the party. You just wanted to break off, cool off a little bit. I was overheaten. He was overheaten. It was snowing.

It was snowing. Pouring snow.

He was heating up too much. I had to go back in the bear's elements, get in here and mini-hibernation.

That was a great intro to you, though.

I was like, I know exactly who he is now. I get it. He leaves the party to sit in the snow. I get it. He had to regroup, man. That's how it's, Kelsey's regroup. Just take a step outside and just fall asleep.

I do love that. Oh, good Dude, I'm sorry we had to call you out with Dave on the other week.

I don't know if you caught that. Well, I got tagged.

We had some fun with it, but it worked. Yeah, I got tagged. I got tagged through it.

Dave, you had my old boy on the show.

He did a good job. I listened. I listened. Also, him being a Philly guy, I know he was amped to come see you guys and kiss the ring a little bit.

He was pumped. It was so cool having him on here. I really enjoyed that. One of the best conversations we've had. I have a bunch about him. Some I can't even share, but off camera. That's the best.

Yeah. Those are the best. Well, before we get going, we talked about this on last week's show.

Jason wants to know about the meaning of your nickname, Chido. It originated...

People call me Cheto Santino. Cheto, I hear more often than anything now. I'm bad I don't know what timeline, but I think 15 or 16 years ago, I moved to LA in '06, at the end of '06.

And then I was playing basketball. I would play these pickup games. We go to these elementary schools, which always is great on the weekends, or go to these local spots in Culver City that were pretty nasty. At the time. It was great pickup ball. But I played with a bunch of guys, a couple of guys from the East Side, some Mexican dudes from East LA. Boyo Heights. Shout out Boyo Heights. Shout out Boyo. Boyo Heights. One day, this kid, Pavi, was looking down at my legs when we were done, and I had short shorts on, way above the knee, old school. You know what I mean? Old school gym teacher style, yeah. In my bird era. Yeah, in my bird era. You got to be able to move. I want to pivot quick. He looked down and he's like, Damn, dog. I never really seen your legs up close. I was like, What do you mean? He's like, It looks like you ate a bag of Cheetos, and then you rubbed Cheeto dust all over your legs from your fingers. They look like Cheetos, dog. For real. Everybody was losing it. At first, I was annoyed and embarrassed.

Then when I looked down, I was like, Yeah, they do look like Cheetos. They do look like Cheetos. Cheeto, I'm born from that. Then I I raced it, and then it stuck. Then it just traveled with me, and I liked it. Then I turned my social into all that, but it never left. It was funny. At first, I was annoyed, and then I thought, No, you got to walk. If you don't walk into this, it's worse. You already know I'm on board with that. If you don't walk into it, they're going to cook you even harder.

It's going to get you way worse.

Yeah, absolutely. That's playground mentality 101. Yeah, embrace it. It's playground mentality 101.

I just love that both you and Travis got your nickname James from playing pickup ball.

Yeah, pickup ball, baby. Mine was the big yetty.

That's how Travis got the big yetty. He ran from it for a little bit.Shirts of skin.He's embraced it now. You can't run away from that, dude.

No way. Embrace it. Dude, it's just a fucking sweat of ours.

It's just a jersey. That's right. It's just a jersey, man.

I got to own it.

Travis, we said skin. Exactly. Sorry, I'll make sure I shave next time. Speaking of sweaters, Trab is the only guy that I know that will play golf when it's 94 in a multi-layered shirt with a vest.

Dude, it's insane. You are the only dude I know that can do that. And he wasn't sweating at all. I was dredged. Underneath, I was-Sticky? Yeah. It was a little sticky? It was real hot. I don't know how you do that. You just had to be multiple days of drinking Bender, so you're just so dehydrated.

There's no sweat to come out of the pores.

Yeah, nothing can come out. That is true. And that was definitely where we were at every time. A little liver pain.

A little bit of liver pain.

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Because we cannot participate. Well, I guess I could, but I'm choosing not to. But you know who can? Enter Brandon.

Enter Brandon. Come on now. Big boy. Been here the whole time. How have your price pics been going? His price pics must be going well because look at those biceps. Okay. I'll give some pics for tonight.

Palo Banchero points.

I'm going to go more. I'm going to take Jokich points, more. I'm going to do LeBron James points, more. I'm going to get out of here. Travis, you can come back. Well, hopefully, Brandon did good.

If you want to start making your own pics, download the app today and use the code, you guessed it, New Heights for a first deposit match up to $100.

Again, download the app today and use code, New Heights for a first deposit match up to $100. Pick more, pick less. It's that easy. Like I said last week, Jason, I love Tommy John Underwear. It's so soft and comfortable and so light.

I can't even feel them on right now. Jason, it's obvious I love this underwear, but you said you were going to give them a go last week.

I got to ask, have you tried it yet? Have you tried Tommy John yet? I tried them out. I did. Can you give us a It's a review? I tried them out at the Chris Long golf meeting. What I really like about them is that it's standard spandex on the legs. Good for no chafing. The rear end, I don't know if you can see this, but it's mesh.

So very breathable in the rear end and frontal area. It's tight on the package, which if it's tight on me, it's going to be tight on nearly everybody. I brought this. I have a Buffalo testicle scrotum sac that somebody sent me. I thought I'd show you just how tight it is. Yeah, there's just not any bulge. It's just you need it to be able to rest into it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I'm just saying, outside of that, it was fantastic. Did you chaf? No, zero chafing. Just a little snug? Just a little snug on that region. But outside of that, good. And also, they packed in some sleep shorts. Love the sleep shorts. Very good. All right. Sounds like you're starting to realize Tommy John has changed the game. With a few tweaks here and there, they could be perfect for your nut sack. With their perfect fit and great support, I'm not surprised.

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Com and use the code, you guessed it, New Heights for 20% off your first order.

Again, that's tommyjohn. Com/newheights, and use code newheights for 20% off that first order. Jason, are you loving your new Lazy Boy? Yeah. Nice. All right. It's really the Cadillac of chairs, isn't It sure is. But I've been wondering something this whole time. If the chair was meant for my retirement, how did you get one? I don't know. Our friends over at Lazy Boy offered me one, so I said, You know what?

How can I turn that down? That was the one that came up with the idea.

You know who else they're giving Are you calling them away to? Two lucky people who enter the New Heights Lazy Boy Giveaway.

No way. How about that? Hear that 92%ers? You have a chance to win a custom-made Lazy Boy recliner. As we said before, you don't need to be an athlete to enjoy some well-deserved recline time.

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Enter the New Heights Lazy Boy Giveaway now through May first. While you're at it, check out lazyboy. Com or stop into a local Lazy Boi retailer to test one of these bad boys out and all their other great furniture, too.

We've always been Lazy Boi fans, and now you will be as well. Welcome aboard. Long live the Lazy. Let's get to Vegas, though, man. You just wrapped up Bad Friends in Vegas?

Yeah, we did our last. Fucking awesome, man. Me and Bobby Lee were touring our podcast, Bad Friends Live Show.

Bobby Lee. My boy. Legend. We're done. I think we did 50. The number is off, but we've been touring for just over a year. Just a calendar year passed a couple of weeks ago, and Vegas was our last show. Fifty-some-od shows. It has been an incredible run, man. It was just... It was insane.

We had a proposal. That's so cool, man. We had a proposal on stage. Hell, yeah. Yeah, a guy proposed. That was actually our fourth proposal of the tour. The guy proposed to you? He proposed to his wife, but I would have taken it. Well, his soon-to-be wife. I was thinking that Bobby was going to propose to you. Bobby would propose to me, but I don't know if I could be married to him. I just don't know. I could hook up. He'd be a fun hookup. In Fuck, Marry, Kill, he would be just, Fuck, not Mary.

Sometimes kill. Yeah.

No, but we finish a long tour. Probably Fuck, then Kill.

Yeah, Fuck, then Kill.

But if it's Bobby on the show, he'd be like, Kill, then Fuck.

Yeah, that's what he would say. He's lunatic. Yeah, the tour was incredible, man. It was so fun. It was like, not to be corny, but seeing the fans, connecting with the fans on that level, it brings you a new level of appreciation. I know you guys feel it in sports. It's just so wild these live events. There's something that happens when you get to see their faces and feel their energy. I don't know. It's unbelievable. And for people to tell you things like, Dude, you make my work commute so much easier, or, Dude, I'm going through a divorce, or, Dude, I'm going through a breakup, or something tragic happened. I lost my mom. And when they tell you that you're the thing that gives them a little bit of peace during the week and happiness, it really truly does do something to you. I don't know what it is, but you're like, Man, it's totally worth it to change people's shitty day. It's awesome. It's great. I love to I love that, man. I'm glad you're in it for the right reasons, too, because that's how you know you do this shit for the right reasons, man.

Yeah, I want to make... My only goal when I was a kid was I wanted to be a professional comedic personality. I wanted to be an actor in a stand-up, and I didn't know if either of them would even work. All I wanted to do was make people laugh. I wanted to make people laugh and feel good because the world is dark and weird.

I was like, How can I break this up and make a living having fun and making people forget about all the nonsense of the world?

We did it. Look at us. Look at us. We did it, baby. We're doing it. We're doing it. Did you have anybody looking up to or that you were young that you looked up to What were the comedic people that you thought like, Man, that guy's where I want to be? When I was a kid, my first answer is so... I mean, Eddie Murphy was like... Everyone will say that, most likely in my generation. I'm 40. The '90s, Eddie Murphy. Yeah, it was just he was unbelievable. He was everything to me. Jim Carrey, I would say, was from the acting side, was my guy that I wanted to emulate or be like, even though he was a stand-up.

But as a kid, I only knew him as an actor.

I was too young to know him as a stand-up. But Eddie was that guy to me that was so wild and free. I wanted to have that energy. I knew I could never be that, but I was like, Whatever that is, I love Because he always looked like he was having fun, which that turned me on the most. That stand-up that looked like they were also having fun was what I wanted it. They were in with you on it. Hell, yeah. That's what turned me on the most. But him and Jim Carrey, I think, were the two dudes that I was like, God, I want to be that so bad. I want to be that, have that energy with people and have that influence in comedy. You definitely do, brother. You definitely do. Thank you, bro. I'm trying. I remember the first time I saw you live, and it was in Kansas City at the Ample Theater. That's right. It was when you were on tour with Rogan, right? With Rogan, yeah. Paul, that's me calling you, probably. Hello. Travis Chanpey. How about that? Are you kidding me?Is it? We should pick it up, Rof.

Pick it up, pick it up, Hey, Chandler. I'm sitting here on the podcast with a Cheeto Santino right now. You're with that little stick of big red gum? What's up, CP?

So spicy. You already know. We were just about to get into how you won the tournament this weekend. Yeah, let's talk about it. Too many strokes I got, whatever else. You did.

You did get too many strokes. You got nine.

No, I got five. I got five.

Five aside. You went in with... What'd you go in with?

I played as a fucking 12. It's not my fault. Zantino thinks he's a scratch. He gives me five aside. You should see this guy swing. It's unbelievable.

It's magical. It's as It's as if there's a hinge point at all parts of his body, and it's snapping into place as he goes back.

It's like doing the robot as he's swinging the globe.

Not only did I get the champion since Zantino, I got most approved player, too. So eat dicks. I love you, bud. I'm going to hit you as soon as I get out of here. One of the greatest.

Chan P. Fuck, yeah. Damn, I forgot what we were talking about.

When I was opening for Rogan and KC. Dude.

But I can attest for you being able to give that energy and that feeling. I had Mahomes join me. This was like a training camp, like getaway. It was like a one day just happened to be on the off day, a training camp out in KC.

Me and Mahomes were like, Let's fucking go and do it.

We got front row seats to see you just absolutely rip it, dude.

It was so fun, man.

It was so fucking fun. You did the one Waffle joke.Oh.

Yeah.oh.

My God. I still fucking love that joke. Well, it's wild because Rogan... Joe, I was at the time I was touring.

That's five years ago or how many years ago?

It's got to be at least maybe six or seven. At least, seven. Yeah. I was touring with Rogan, and Joe loves MMA. He loves everything in the martial art world. But traditional sports, he's cool with, but it's not like his thing. So I was amped. I was like, Dude, the Kansas City Chiefs are coming to see us. I linked up with these guys.

They're coming to see us.

And he was like, Oh, cool. Which team are they?

I was like, The football team. And he was like, All right. Word. Cool. It just doesn't mean anything to him. I was amped because They're coming to see us, dude. The boy, we're in their city. This is perfect timing. And then after that, I was in Dallas, and Pat came out with the crew. With the crew, yeah. With the crew to come see me in Dallas. And then after that, tour has been going on, and life has changed for the better. It's been amazing, man. Dude, I remember that show forever, man. You absolutely killed it. It was so fun. That amphitheater is beautiful in KC. Everybody fucking fired up. And shout out to Philly. We love Philly. I said that before the show. But every time I play Philly, we get so much love. We were in the Met Last year, beautiful, beautiful theater, man.Beautiful thing. It was unbelievable. Sometimes I'm shocked that they let us into those theaters. I'm like, We're telling dick jokes inside of an ornately designed, beautiful theater. I'm like, This is so inappropriate for how gorgeous this thing is. It was constructed with such care.

You know what I mean?

Some dude carving the ceiling. He's like, One day, a ginger man will tell a disgusting penis joke in this very room. It's ridiculous. It will erupt. Yeah. And the laughs will sound so lovely. And they will bounce off these beautiful walls. They will project perfectly right to this specific point. Yeah, it's been amazing. And now I'm touring around, getting ready for my hour. I'm going to shoot another hour in a bit, but I'm getting the hour honed in and all that. So I'm touring again. That's awesome, man. Yeah, man. I cannot fucking wait just yet. Dude, the last cheeseburger was a fucking banger. Thank you. Yeah, Cheeseburger on Netflix. It was so much fun, man.

That It was like, what a fun thing to do.

I shot that in Denver. That's the same thing. We coin up an hour over a couple of years, and you peel it apart.

Some guys back in the day would do two or three years.

Then for Chapelle and Louis, it was every year. And now people are back to a couple of years to pace it out, I think. For a minute, those guys were competing over who could do it, who could do it, who could do it.

Then the younger guys, we were like, I'll chill out a little bit. I'm good.

I need to break myself. I love how you brought it full circle with the cheeseburger, though. Oh, yeah. You just want to be enjoyed. I just want to be enjoyed. I named that the Cheeseburger because it was a real conversation I had with my wife about having a tough time mentally, which we all go through. I was like, I just want to be a cheeseburger. I just want people to enjoy me right now while they have me. I don't need some great stamp by the world. I just want you to have fun right now because life should be, to me, living right now.

It's tough to live for any other time.

That's what that whole thing was about. It's like, just have fun right now. You have no idea when it's going to go or how you go. You can't be looking so far in the future. The whole thing was when you eat a cheeseburger, you're just enjoying it now. You're not thinking about anything other than that. I don't want the trophies or the statues, especially if the statue looks like Allen Iris's statue. The statues can go one way or the other, man. Some of them are so Very good. Some of them, you're like, All right, they love you. They love you. If they made a statue of you guys, don't you want pre-approval? Doesn't that? Don't you want to go, Can I take a look at the drawings? It's like getting a tattoo without them putting the stemel on. I'm always like, Freehand? Are we freehand the statue? You're going to freehand the statue? I think we should lay it out first. We don't have a machine that can make this. We can 3D print. Yeah.

Well, like Jordan's statue, when they put that up outside the United Center, I remember was mixed reviews because I'm from Chicago, and that was like, some people loved it, some people didn't like it, but they're never going to look that much like you.

Do you know what I mean? It'll be close, but it can't be... So don't expect anything. Jason, don't expect your statue to look anything like you out there. No, if they ever do, I hope it looks much better looking. But shout out to Allen Iverson. He's the man.

But it was a strange statue.

Let's be real. It was like a mini me version. It was a little wild. You were just about to talk about you're building out a new special. You're getting ready to do another hour, right? What's that process? How long are these jokes being tested out before you've figured out what that run of show looks like? Everyone has a different process.

There is no like, We all do this. Uniform. Not at all.

Some guys, I'm doing a club run, and then I'm going to go play theaters when it's really cooked.

But right now, I'm doing clubs. To do four shows, two Friday, two Saturday. Sometimes I'll do six, depending on the city. Like Dallas, I sold out six quickly because Dallas is great.

I mean, that city I always do well in, and I like the club a lot. So I was like, I'll just do that. But I like to just peel it out, and it It makes me... This will have been almost a year, and I have the hour that I think I want to present, and then I'll go to the club and start to puzzle piece it together in terms of like, this should go here, I want this here, and then also doing a set that he already knows he has.

Everyone has a different process. But for me, I'm just going to my setback, write it down, and go back and forth, and then change it the next night, and the next night, maybe go back to the first one and see how my timing works and see how it pairs up. This is so fascinating. Yeah, it's weird. There's no You'll go back to the hometown? I don't know where I'm going to record this one, man. That's so funny. They asked me. I'm actually doing it with... I feel like I can say this. I'm doing it with Omaha Productions, with-Oh, nice. With Manning.. The Big Dog. We have a meeting coming up about where we want to shoot it, and I'm still lost in the sauce. I don't know. I haven't pinpointed where I want to do it, but I do think it's going to be in the Midwest. I will say that. I'm almost positive it's going to be in the Midwest. Midwest, guys. Keep it home. Yeah, baby. Keep it back home. Back to that process, do you enjoy working the clubs, trying new material in that smaller, intimate vibe more, or do you like the big, produced, big show stadium vibe?

Big shows are good when you have the thing to give them. It's almost like... I don't know if you're... When the kids put on a show during the holidays for the adults, when the kids are like, You guys want to watch us perform the thing. It's like, that's what it feels like when we go do theaters that you're like, I want to show them. I want to show mom and dad the thing now. We were in the cousin's room. We were preparing the speech and the song and the thing. That's what it feels like. And the clubs feel like to warm up. I mean, it's not like that's less of a show. It's just way more intimate and loose and it's more fun. It's like when you're drunk making a meal, when you're like, We'll see if this works. We'll see if this works. How does that taste? Then the theaters are more like a sit down dinner where you're like, This is prepared, it's tight, it's more concise.

For me, again, everyone's so different. No, it makes sense. But that's how I'd like to do it. You talked about doing the tour this past set of shows, you guys talked about going on a bus.

Oh, my God. Did you guys end up doing the tour bus? Yeah, we did the tour bus. We did it for the first half, and then that was it. I got to tell you, that was it. They were like, Do you want the bus for the second half? I was like, No, I think we're going to fly. I think we're going to fly. Everyone knows the rule of tour busses. There's no pooping on the bus. That is a fact. It's been that way since the '70s. Who abused that? Bobby. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee clearly was the first one to poop on the bus. I wish Vegas had a money line on it. I would have bet so big. He hammered that line. But the bus driver we had this dude, he was so funny, man. He was so wild. He's like, I'm just going to be real with you. If you all poop on the bus, you all are going to be smelling it for a long time. I was like, Let's not poop on the bus, please. Of course, Bobby pooped on the bus without a doubt.

He's like, We couldn't stop. It was 2:00 in the morning. He wasn't going to pull all these excuses, which I know wasn't true.

I know he pooped in the afternoon, and he just lied to me. It was 2:00 PM, not 2:00 AM. He was just switching his head. But the bus life is crazy because you live in these coffins, which actually are more comfortable than you think. They call them these coffins. They're like bunks. Yeah, they're not that bad. You feel like buritowed in a little bit. Interesting. I slept in the back for a bunch of it. There was a bedroom back there, but small, and I hated it. The bunks are a little bit nicer because there's a dump bunk where you put all your stuff in. Then you sleep in those little... They're little tiny comforting sleeping bags on my- Just little nooks. Little nooks. And then you can put your iPad up. They've got these clips. You could put your iPad on the ceiling and watch TV shows and movies. Yeah, it's actually nice. They have little speakers and fans, and it's cool. It's a little getaway. But the worst part is doing a show, doing the meet and greets and all that stuff. You got to eat fast, pack up, then get on the bus immediately because you have to drive to the next city.

So you're sleeping through the night, and then you're waking up in Oklahoma, then you're waking up in KC, then you're waking up in Indianapolis. So that's a little tough on your body clock. It stinks. You got to wake up, I would try to get a workout in, then go to lunch, write and organize, do soundcheck, and then you're at the venue. There's not a ton of kick at time. It's tough. It's a little tough for you. That's why the planes are so much easier. It's more expensive to jump the whole crew on a plane and go, go, go. But it's worth it, man, because the busses are tough. They're tough. It's tough, dude. I can only imagine. Especially when you're going to the middle of the country, and this is you all night long on the bus. All night, dude. It's like being out at sea. All night, you're like this because the busses are so top-heavy. Any bit of wind, they shake the whole night. And if the road is a little bumpy, no bueno. It's not good. It's not good. They're hard to pee in the middle of the night. You're holding on to the wall.

Yeah, it's going everywhere, dude. Before we get out of Vegas, we got to give 8 AM golf a shout. They always have the funnest tournament. I was pissed. I couldn't make it this year. We were mad you didn't come back. The returning champions didn't return, which is a little strange. Well, yeah, Pat didn't do the past two years. I at least came back last year and tried to run it up with Chan P. I fell short to Timberlake and Fallon. For all of you that don't know, 8 AM golf is Timberlake's big deal that he has out in Vegas every single year. At the Wind. The Wind Golf Club. And man, is it a fucking good time. It was so fun, man. Looking at all the videos from over the weekend, I know I missed a good one. Yeah, Jimmy went off. He threw a drone in the water. It started, he threw one of the flags. I think He threw the flag on the 17th green in the water. Dude, he's- And then he threw the drone in the water.

You know that's my Lake. Lake Travis. That's Lake Travis. Yeah, I know. I saw the video. That's where he threw my putter. He's got a fucking... God damn it, Jimmy, control yourself.

He can't, dude. He was out of control. But we We played them the second round.

It was me and Cee Lee. Me and Courtney Lee played. In the second half, we played them, and we did great. It was just I was giving Chandler shit because him and Blake Griffin got 30 strokes. I was like, How can I beat the guys who stroke on every hole? But it was so much fun, man. We had a blast.

Yeah, and it keeps getting better.

There's more and more just good people that come every single year.

It was stacked. It was stacked with so many fun, cool, and good golfers. Surprisingly, more people that were good than I knew how good they were until they showed up.

And I was like, helps.

He's always out there.

We played him and Brian, and I can't remember his last name from the office.

Why can't I remember his last name? I always forget it, too. It's not Bam? Is it Bam Garner? Yeah, it's Bam Garner. Is it Bam Garner, right? Yeah, that's right. I think I still owe him from-Oh, you don't owe him anything. He went off gambling, by the way. He went... Dude, that guy goes off. I see him out in Tahoe always ripping it. Yeah, he's like, Do you want to come play with us? And I was like, I'm going to go to the $50 tables.

I don't think my residuals are as good as yours, buddy.

So I went over the little baby tables, but they were going... I mean, they were gambling, gambling. And then we played them in the second round. And on 18, there was a couple of fans or sponsors or whatever behind us. And the guy was like, How are you guys doing? I said, Good. And he goes, Do you know him? And I go, Yeah, he's a swimmer, I think. That guy's a swimmer.

About Phelps, he goes, No, I know that.

I go, Yeah, I think he was in the Olympic... I don't know I think he's an Olympic guy.

I think he's an Olympic guy.

And the guy got annoyed. He was like, No, I know that. I'm saying, Did you guys know each other before? Are you American? I said, Yeah, I think he's got a bunch of the neck danglies that they give you. The lanyards. Yeah, the A couple of lanyards to take home. It was fun. Overall, man, it was so much fun. It was a great time and a good group of people. I'm taking a break from drinking for a little while because... That'll be me Next week. Next week. 15 of them, my homies, Pat Mahomes has his golf foundation. Which I'm missing for the first time in four years. I'm not happy. Over in Shadow, man. Haven't played Shadow in a long time, so I'm pumped about that. No, you're going to kill it. And I'm pumped to see my dog. All right. Well, I at least have to give a shout out to 8 AM for always having a blast. Sorry, I couldn't make it this shit, guys. The best. Let's get to Ricky Steenicki, dude. Let's go. Are you kidding me? I was talking to you when you were filming this out in Australia, right?

Down and down. Down and down.

You were out there playing on the links out there. I was hitting the sticks. Available now on Amazon Prime.

Make sure you guys check it out. Please.

You start alongside Zac Efron, Jermaine Fowler, and John Cina. John Cina.

Yeah, he was great, man.

Cina is the best. We had so much fun down there. We shot in Melbourne, or Melbourne, as Americans say it. And Cina, Efron, William H.

Macy, and my boy Jermaine was played.

Me and Jermaine Fowler and Efron played three best friends who make up an imaginary friend as their alibi for all the trouble that they get into as kids. And then our wives and girlfriends are like, I want to meet this dude, so we have to hire a lunatic to play our best friend. And that's John Sina. John Sina.

So fun, man. Oh, my God. It was one of the One of the most fun times I've ever had, and shooting it in Australia was wild. I went out with Cina, and we had John likes Guinness, and I'm a whiskey and tequila. I'm a big whiskey guy. I'm not a huge beer guy. I'll have one with you, but he loves Guinness. The biggest guy in the room loves the most protein in his experience. A hundred %. You got to keep it. It's chicken and Guinness, my guy. He's stealing protein right now. He would say there would be nights where he'd shoot me a text and be like, Do you want to go have a Guinness? I think I've got a later start. And a later start for John would be like 9:30 AM. You know what I mean? He's so on top of it. It's unbelievable. I like professionalism through the roof with that guy.I keep hearing about this. Through the roof, dude.It's so cool to hear.He's early prepped beyond Unprepared, bright-eye, bushy-tailed. He's one of those guys.

He's ready to go at all times.

There is no excuses with him. That's a talent, man.

Yeah, it's a skill for sure.

And then he'd call me and be like, Hey, I have a late one in tomorrow. Do you want to go have a Guinness or two? But with him, it's like, I'm 6'1, 200 pounds. I'm not a tiny guy, but one or two is the first five minutes. Do you know what I mean? Every one Guinness I had, he'd have three. So I think we went out and ate a kangoo and We had Guinness at a bar. E ate kangoo? Yeah, we had kangoo. What are you eating on the kangoo? What did that taste like? Like the tail or the thigh? What are you eating? I think he eating the chin down here, just down under. I don't know what it... I think we're eating kangoo backstrap. I have no idea what part. I didn't even ask. I didn't ask. What did it taste like? What was the most similar taste? It's gamey. It's gamey. It's regular animals. It's gamey. You know how deer is? But if you marinated long enough, it's not... I liked it. I don't know.

John didn't like it. I I finished my steak salad.

Also, I was on 5 Guinnesses, so who knows? Who knows if it was the hunger or if it was the beautiful Irish beer. But at first, I was like, Do you eat this down here?

The guy was like, A kangoo? Someone has to look this up.

They outnumber humans in Australia. It's like five to one. Oh, wow. I thought, there can't be that many. Is this an endangered thing? They were like, No, mate, they're everywhere. They're too many kangareos. They can't wait for you to eat them. Yeah, they don't care. We ate them and had Guinness, and John hated it. I loved it. I thought it was so delicious. I would eat it again. But he's a good dude to go out and have one with. Then, again, in the morning, a pro. Doesn't miss a beat, a total pro. So dope.

Yeah.

Me, on the other hand, it was some tough mornings. That's king. Ru is killing me right now. Yeah, it was tough. It was tough, but we had so much fun. They were really good people, and they treated us well. That whole The city showed us so much love in Melbourne. Something about the Aussies, man. They're the best, dude. They are such cool people. Every single time, I fucking see one. I ran into Hounslow one night, and it was like I met my long lost brother. Within two minutes, I'm like, Dude, we got to rip it again.

We don't have enough time right now, but we got to do this again.

They're so chill and so down. I don't know. It is a great vibe down there. Then we went to Tasmania, which I couldn't recommend more. I thought that was one of the coolest things. We went to this place called the The Mona, M-O-N-A, the Museum of Old and New Art.

Oh, cool. This dude, the story is crazy. This dude was a billionaire gambler who was banned from gambling because he cracked the code. He was like Rain Man.

Then he took all this money and he bought this huge, beautiful house. You'd have to look this up. It's multiple floors. It's got to be three to five floors underground. Everything from Picasso's to brand new art. During the day, there's five or six nooks of musicians, artists, painters, performers working on their craft, and then they perform in the evening. So they're doing it during the day, and then you get to see it in the afternoon. It was one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. We watched a harpist write a new song, and then she was performing at 4:30 that night. That's cool as fuck. You watch them work it out, and then you get to chill, go have lunch, come back. We had so much fun down there. I can't wait to go back. Awesome. Whenever I hear a harp Going off. It just feels like I start to get floated and just start floating. Oh, wow. That is what I wanted. People say you see the lights when you pass away. I just want to hear a harp. Then I'll be like, All right, it's time. Hit the harp. See you guys next time.

Take me to the other place.

So good, man. Shout out to Australia for making it home for you guys.

Showing me a lot of love.

Let's move on to some No Dumb Questions. All right, now it's time to get to our segment No Dumb Questions because there's no such thing as dumb people.True.Just dumb questions. Wait, I had that There's no such... We'll just keep it going.

Well, no, there is no such thing as dumb people.

There's definitely dumb people.

Just no dumb questions.

That's right.

Until you hear some of these. No Dumb Questions is sponsored by Tommy John Underwear. You ever threw on some Tommy John?

Yeah, I usually free ball, but I'm going to start We're in Tommy John from now on.

We got something about the Midwest crew right here.

We just-Yeah, let it fly.

I don't, but you guys do. Tommy John makes the most comfortable underwear on the planet. No adjustment needed. Now, sometimes you got to No shifting.

Yeah, no shifting.

No shifting. All right, here, let's get to our first no dumb question from Michele Kintz with a Z on Instagram. Did Trab really forget his undergarments four years ago when he came on your podcast?

Let me tell you something. I got a call. Travis came on Whiskey Ginger when I used to shoot it out of my house, when we were moving studios. He was the best. Yeah. He came to the house. We set up at the crib because we were moving. It was a tight squeeze and the cameras and the angles, all this stuff. My editor The editor calls me, and he's like, Bro, I don't know how to tell you this, but Travis was falling out of his shorts. I was like, What are you saying, dude? Why are you being so... I was like, What do you mean, falling out of his shorts? His boys were sliding out, and I was like, Oh, no. And he goes, Do you want to call him and reshoot it? And I said, Just put a Kansas City Chiefs logo over his package whenever it falls out. Travis, his boys wanted to make an appearance on Whisky Ginger, and I get that. But sometimes they'd slide out, sometimes they'd go back in the cave. So I said, Dude, just throw a logo over it. It'll be really funny. Hey, what's that commotion? What's going on out there?

Hey, what are you guys laughing at?

Travis had a couple of fallout boys, and we cut it out. And by the way, that footage will be available. What's her name? Mckenzie or whatever? Yeah, McKenzie. Michelle. Michelle, that footage will be available on our Patreon. No, I'm kidding. We're going to hold off and sell that footage for a lot of money someday, Michelle. That one is in the vault for life. Travis had a little sideshow going on.

I didn't have my Tommy John's on.

No, he did not.

No wonder you wear underwear now. I've never had that issue. Mine can't fall anywhere. They're adhered.

Well, you tape it to your leg. Yeah. Keep it tight.

Sorry, I don't know. All right. Well, it was a fun-ass interview. You guys should check it out. So fun. On Whisky Ginger's page. Our sponsor, Tommy John, heard about this and has given us a care package just for you.

Hey, how about that?

Santino. It's under my seat.

Under your seat?

How about this? I didn't know we gave outOh, look at that, just for you.

Thank you, dude.

I know you do free ball and everything, but you got friends and cousins and shit.

The gold standard of underwear. There you go. Oh, nice.

Emergency box.

I won't have to shift ever again.

Look at that packaging.

These are great, man.Thank you so much.I already know.Thanks, DJ.I.

Know they're on your side.

Yeah, I mean. Size. Yeah, they might be my size. We'll find out. You know me.

If it's free, give me three.

I imagine I'm a little smaller than you. Underwear size-wise, just because of… Yeah, that's it.

There's no shifting.

Yeah, there's no shifting. No more shifting. Automatic underwear.

Yeah. So thanks, Tommy John, for passing those along.

Thanks, TJ.

We didn't know you didn't wear underwear.

Yeah, no. I do now. I will now. Honestly, it depends on the season. When it starts to get warmer, it depends on the pants I'm wearing. It's all like when I golf, I'll be wearing my Tommy John's. There you go. Yeah, you got it. I have to.

Yeah, exactly.

But when I'm around the house or when I'm at work or when I'm with friends and family, when I'm at a funeral, a wedding, free ball. But I'll be wearing my T-Js when I play sports.

Let the boys fly. All right, let's move on our next one from @emilyesuel on Instagram. Not for Andrew, but my husband and I constantly argue about this is Travis Ginger.

No, you're not. But you are accepted by the community. We had a meeting.Honorary? Yeah, we had a meeting in what? February this year? And we voted on you, and you did slide in. You're a brother. You're a part of the brotherhood. That's what I'm talking about. But you are your own animal. You're not one of us, but we do love you and accept you very much. Jason, you did get an honorary mention as well because we do know you'll have specs of red come in your beard a a little bit. The rumor is you pluck them, which we're not happy about. You have to let them stay. You got to let them stay, dude. That's so good. But you do get a little bit of a red beard. In the summertime, your beard gets a little red.

If it gets real long and then the sun hits it.

Yeah, I know.

Rides that thing. Real nice.

You look like me if God wasn't messing around with colors. You know what I mean? If he was like, All right, we'll stop playing. We'll make a good-looking version of it. He's just fucking around with you. I was the beta version of it. Yeah. He's like, Look at how funny this looks. All right, we'll make a good one. Look at his legs. We'll make a good one. We'll make a good one. But you're accepted by the Brotherhood. You know. Excepted by the Ginger crew. Thank you.

Gosh, I'm so fucking honored.

I know, man.

It's a big deal. I'm thinking of the community that I'm a part of right now. Is Scalibrini?

Scal is absolutely. Are you kidding me? That's one of our kings.

The white Mamba.

Yeah. He He's actually one of the leaders of the conference. Yeah, he's up top. Him, Ron Howard, although he's lost most of it, but we still recognize him. Cathy Griffin, Carrotop.

Carrotop swole as a son of a boy.

Yeah, well, he's our security. Carrotop works security.

I saw him at the Super Bowl.

Back to your Chicago roots.

What about Rodman? Yeah, Rodman got... He's definitely in when he wants to be, and we just can't argue with him. We're not allowed to say anything about that. I don't want him to come beat me up.

I had to ask because obviously, one of the best comedians, Shy Town, Bill Murray. The best? When Farley and wasn't Farrell at the Chicago Studio.

So a lot of those guys came through Second City in Chicago. Second City, that's where he was. A lot of guys would come to Chicago and perform there or start comedy there and then go back to New York or LA or whatever. But Second City has cultivated some of the greatest comics of all time. That place in particular. Same thing with I/O, Improv Olympic. Chicago became this improv hub, and it made some of the greatest of all time. Have you ever- That's why Farley loved Chicago so much. He went to school in Marquette, Wisconsin kid, and he loved Chicago. Unfortunately, lost him in Chicago, which stinks. But I think a lot of those guys... Chicago feels like a smaller New York. If you're not ready New York as a performer, maybe, it feels a little bit more homey. It's the Midwest. The culture was so thick and rich with comedy. Then people went on to... Those guys all went on to SNL, and then the rest is history.

Did you come straight West Did you go on the Coast?

I never started in Chicago. I started stand-up when I moved to California. I performed a little bit in Phoenix when I went to school at Arizona State, the Harvard of the West, baby. Yeah. I would-Shackers, baby. Yeah, shock them, shock them, put them up, shock them up. Yeah, the Harvard in the desert. I went out there and I did a little bit of stand-up. But then when I moved to LA is when I really... I would say I started in Los Angeles. I would never say I started. I'm not a Chicago comic. Chicago's home.

How long were you already in the scene out here before you got the role in I'm Dying Up Here? I was always curious about that.

I moved here in '06.

Because that was a fucking awesome role.

'06 '07. Thank you. '06, '07, and that show was... God, how long ago now? Again, my math is I have bad math. Who knows what year it was. I'm Dying Up Here started in-Come on. This is where our producers thrive. Yeah, they thrive the most. Come on, guys. What is I'm Dying Up Here? What year was that in?

They offer zero.

2017 or '16? 2017? I think we might have filmed it in 2016. So 10 years.

You had been grinding for quite a bit.

For a decade. And then I got that show, and that show lifted me because it was produced by Jim Carrey. Melissa Leo, an Oscar winner was in it. So it was just like-Dude, I got to ask. Alfred Molina. Man, what?

How was working with Jim fucking Kerry.

The man. The wildest story is Jim came to watch us at the Comedy Store perform. At first I thought, Is this a bad idea or a good idea that he's going to see us? Because the store is where we like, we call it working out our local club. We go to work out. That's the gym. We literally refer to it as the gym. It's like working out new bits and trying new stuff. You have off-nights and up-nights and up nights and down nights. But for the most part, as a professional, you're just working out. He wanted to come see I was a little, not nervous, but I was like, Is this the right venue for him to see us? Because this isn't... You know what I mean? We're doing our thing.

I'm nervous right now for you. Yeah.

Sure enough, he came and saw, and me and Eric Griffin and El Madrigal, who ended up being the three standups on the show. Everybody had really, really good sets. The room was hot. Things were really good. Then I think Jim wanted to go back, too, to feel the atmosphere. He was there. That was his club. It was awesome. Then speaking to Jim was amazing, learning his insight about comedy in the world and what that club meant to him and what it did to him and what Mitzy did for his life and his career. It was a dream come true. If the child and me who used to sit in my mom's basement, rewinding the VHS of Dumb & Dumber Until It Broke with my best friend, Sean, could be like, Dude, you're going to work with this dude one.It was mind-bending.That's insane. It was him and Farley, Kerry and Farley for me, man. Kings, yeah.

They were my absolute favorite. I still have all of them on VHS, actually. Yeah, I still got them. I went out and got a little 19-inch VHS TV.

The TV with the VHS in it? Vhs underneath. And I just fucking... By the way, those things, for people that don't know, the VHSs that were built on the TV, it might have weighed 156 pounds. It was the heaviest TV. It was a brick, dude.

It was always really awkward to grab. Yeah, you couldn't help it. You couldn't just pick it up. No.

You had to fucking get underneath it and fucking pick it up like a boulder. You know what it was? It was like a side-thigh. Like a side-thigh lift. You know what I mean? I hated that. I had one in my room at my mom's house for years and years and years. But yeah, that was a dream come true, man.

My favorite thing about those old-school TVs is you would literally slap them when they weren't working, and somehow It worked.

I still don't know why that fixed whenever it was happening. That was the on and off button. That was the on and off button when you were a kid. Just fucking smack it.

Well, that was our dad. I think that was-Hit the top of it or side of it. That was our dad's. They learned that they were like, I hit the TV, I hit the kids. I hit the thing. When the thing doesn't work, I hit it. It works. The kids, the coffee machine, the TV.

Whenever you go into bits about your dad, I feel like we grew up in the same household.

Well, Midwest dads have theOh, my gosh. The exact same mannerisms.

If he doesn't want to do it, just whack him in the head. You'll figure it out. Trust me, just one good whack. All right. He gave all of my friends' dads the thumbs up on... If he gets He's out of line. Permission. You just fucking whack him.

What did he say? What did he say? Oh, man. The fear that the Midwest father has put inside of him. I'd get cracked on this. The top of the head was the crack, and you felt it through your spine. It went into your toes. I used to hate it so much. I knew my dad was angry when he wouldn't say anything, when he would give me the face of like, You know what you did. You know exactly what you did. It ate me alive. When he yelled, I He was like, This is fine, I guess. He's going to be mad. But when he didn't say anything, I was like, Oh, man, this is not good.

Yeah, no.

Got to tighten up. I'm not upset with you.

I'm really disappointed in you guys. Yeah. That's your behavior.

I still remember, he had a spell where I would try to run away, and he was like, If you run away, it's going to get worse. Get over here right now. The spanking was like the Ring in Lord of the Rings, and I was Dobby, and I just couldn't get away. I have no idea where you just went.

I'm so fucking lost where you just went.

But what a great trick he pulled because if I run away, it's not going to be worse. You're not going to catch me. You're not going to catch me with those old knees. I'm out of here, bro.

He knew what was going to get him back.

Yeah, he knew. He knew. Good trick.

Let's do another one of these no dumb questions.

From @AaronRedish on Instagram, which comedian could get one yard in the NFL?

That's a good one. Which comedian could get one actual yard in the NFL, meaning as a running back? Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say. As a wide receiver or as a tight end, there could be a couple of people that are pretty… But as a back would be tough because who's got enough low to the ground energy to be able to do that? I would say got to be short and stocky. I mean, I would say Bobby Lee. It sounds like you're saying Bobby Lee. Well, here's why Bobby Lee would be able to get a yard in the NFL. They would hand him the ball, he would drop his pants, and everybody would run the opposite way. So he might get a first pound until somebody's ready to tackle him. That's the only trick he might be able to play.

Psychological advantage, Bobby.

Yeah, it's a psychological trick. But from a physical standpoint, literally nobody. Nobody would be. I mean, what are we even talking about right now? Nobody. Not one comic. Got That's how I would love to see it. The only guy that would be able to trick people would be Bobby with his... His penis? Yeah, or he would just run backwards with his butt spread open, and they just wobble backwards with the ball, and no one would tackle him.

That's such a Bobby move.

He could get away with that. Bobby just called me, by the way. He wants to know where I'm at and what I'm doing. I said, I'm here. You want me to call him real fast? Let's call Bob.

Hi, guys.

Bobby, we love you. Congrats on the tour, Bobby.

Hey, Bob, we said they asked in the NFL, in the comedy, who could maybe get one yard running the football in the NFL? And we said you because how would you get the ball and what would you do if you got the ball to run through the line? What do you think you'd be able to do to get a yard in the NFL? Can I put pool on my There you go. You can put a pool on your helmet. You could. Good trick. We said you would get naked. We said you'd show your penis and run through the line. I think people would want to tackle me. People would want to tackle you. Then you're more desirable. That would intrigue everyone. I'll call you when I'm out of here. Love you, bye. Love you, babe. Bye.

The last one from @indole on Instagram. Have you told Travis about the time you punked Taylor?

I have seen this.

I think he's probably seen the clip.

I watched punked.

I haven't seen this. You got to see the clip, but we Justin Bieber was hosting that episode. It was a celebrity punking a celebrity. We did this many, many years ago. I guess, Bieber had come back from Japan, and he told Taylor to come to his house to set off fireworks off the back of this house that we rented in Malibu. My favorite part about this, by the way, when this clip resurface, people were like, That's so mean. This is crazy. It's like, This is fake. It's a TV show. It's not us. You know what I Jesus, relax. But Taylor got a call from Justin and was like, Come to this new recording studio. She came down there at the beach in Malibu to just see his new studio and hang out. He was like, I have these fireworks from Japan. Man, let's set them off. Taylor, obviously, to her credit, who's always on point, was like, I don't know if I want to do that. We actually knew, ahead of time, as we wrote the bit, because I wrote this bit, I I was a performer on Punked, and I also was writing the show.

I said, If she doesn't want to do it, we have to make it so it's like a button or a thing where it's like an accidental easy, like did you press this or whatever? They set up a rig, a fake rig with buttons on it. She did touch one, slightly just goofing around. It set off a firework, and we had it on a rope line to throw it in the direction of this boat, a big boat out in the ocean. It set the boat on fire. There was a wedding party on the boat, and I was the groom. We were dingied to shore with our boat on fire, and we blamed her for ruining our wedding. That's great. You got to say it.

I will say this.

I love you. You got to say it. You could ask her the truth, but she bought it. I know she bought it because it was chaotic. I mean, the boat was on fire, but it was all professionally done. My favorite part is people on the internet were like, Oh, yeah, what a waste of money burning a boat. It's like, We didn't burn a boat. It's not a real rig. But yeah, she set a wedding party on fire, and we came to shore with the pastor, myself, the bride, and we were like, You ruined our wedding, Taylor Swift. Then my wife and Gregory was like, Maybe it's a sign. Maybe this is a sign I shouldn't marry him. Taylor was like, No, I don't think that's right. I don't know if that's right. It was so good.

I got to ask Taylor about that one.

It was so fun, man. It was just like such a... It was a perfect bit that worked. Some of the bits were so wild and they didn't work, but hers was specifically was great because it was so many moving pieces that came together. Sometimes they don't come together like that. But we did one with Drake. We punked Drake. He thought he was going to meet Vice President Joe Biden at the time. We put him in the basement of the Skirball Center, and we had secret service come, mirrors in the car and the dogs, and him and his boys were in the car, and I was a secret... I drove them. I was a secret service member. He was like, Yo, chill. He was so legit. He was on his good boy behavior. He's like, Don't fuck around with the secret service. No jokes. No, none that shit. He was prepping his boys, and then we had put a rig underneath his car. You know how a self-winding watch has a weight that when it flips, it spins so the weight goes. I don't even know what those things are called. I'm too stupid. But it put that motor underneath the car, and we put it all over on other cars in this garage.

We simulated a fake earthquake. The car was shaking. Other cars were shaking. We'd make smoke and noise, and meh, meh, meh. It was all this. He was sitting in the car. We just had to keep him in the car, so he would feel it shake like it's an earthquake the whole time. He had a full-on panic like, Drake. Shout out to Drake, being from Canada. He was like, Yo, yo, yo. He grabbed onto his boy, he held him real tight. It was hilarious, dude. Yeah, use that in the disk, Hendrick. Use that in the disk.

I would have fucking been shitting myself if something like that happened.

Dude, he was freaking out. Then we had My wife who played in the earlier sketch, and she was pregnant, and she came on. She's like, What's going on? You see this pregnant woman in the middle of an earthquake, and Drake was like, Stay away from the car. This is the secret service car. You can't come near the car. It was so funny, dude. Yeah, we had some wild But yeah, that one was good. You have to ask Taylor about it.

I'll see if she was trying to sell it or not.

Yeah, she might have been.

I don't know. When I saw it, I thought, I bought it.

I bought it, Taylor. Yeah, they did it right.

Well, that does it for No Dumb Questions. Brought to you Tommy John. Thank you, Tommy John, for the free draws.

Thank you, guys. All right, now Travis, time to talk about our next sponsor, Buffalo Wild Wings. Hey, Trev.

All right, now.

Let's go. And by that, I mean, let's go and get some takeout from Buffalo Wild Wings Go.

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I'll Probably go if it's free. I mean, honey barbecue. Or traditional barbecue. It's so hard. Traditional barbecue, I went on to. But honey barbecue.

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Let's move on to some more stand-up, man. All right. Let's talk about your stand-up career a little bit more. We'd like to ask the football guests what's your Welcome to the NFL moment. What would you say was your Welcome to stand-up moment?

That's a good question.

I think- Or Welcome to Comedy moment.

Yeah. I think a big moment in my comedy life, and there's been so many. Honestly, there's moments where you go, Wow, this is amazing. This is amazing. I can't believe that. But I think the earliest one would be the first club to pass me was the Hollywood Improv, the Historic Hollywood Improv. They passed me. This is wild. I can show you. This is the craziest thing. I was in Las Vegas visiting my friend Sean, that guy that used to watch Dumb & Dumber with me. He was living in Vegas for a stint because he took a job out there. I have it right here on 10. It's the oldest email I kept, 10:16, 2009 from the Hollywood Improv. Hello there. Let me know this is your first paid set as a regular. I was the first person on the list, and it was from 10:16, which is my birthday. Nice. I got this email on my birthday from Eric, the old Booker at the Improv. It was meant to be. It was meant to be. This was a moment. I was in Vegas, and my mom was there, and my best friend's mom was there.

They were visiting him. We were all having a family. I don't know. That was just a really amazing, important moment in my life that it was like, Wow, okay, I finally get to work at this club. It wasn't like, That was it. You know what I mean? That was just my end. You're in now. Now you get to try to come work and keep your spot and perform every week and see if we let you come back and see if we book you. It was like a testing ground. But they're saying, Yes to you, be getting in. That was a massive moment. Then the store passed me right after that, and then little moments like that. But that one was something special. That was really wild to receive that on my birthday. That's cool as fuck. Yeah, that it's like, you're now going to be accepted into the lineups. You can call in and request spots. It doesn't mean you would get them, but you'd say, Hey, I'm available. I'd love to work if I can work.

Yeah, so fucking dope.

That's the grind forever. That's what you had to do for years and years and years and try to keep your spots. It's just like what you guys had to do. It's like, if you don't perform, you may not play. You know what I mean?

It's in the big league, man.

Yeah, you have to perform. This is dope. Yeah, it was cool, man. That was my entry level to In sports terms. That was the Farm League. You know what I mean? I was in the Farm League. Getting brought up means you get to be on the big shows. And then sometimes you go back down to the Farm League for a little while. You just got to get good batting practice in.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to go That was the coolest because we used to have, I think it was a Triple A team, just outside of Cleveland called the Lake Erie captains. And whenever a guy was coming off of IR or just wanted to get a swing back or something. I remember Omar Vesquel playing for the captains for two games, and I just happened to be going out there because the tickets were $5, and it was a fun way to watch a baseball game and hang out. Honestly, just fuck around as a kid. I got to see Omar Vesquel play in the Lakehierry captains, and it was like, What the fuck? Even the big dogs still? So it's like, Yeah, you're going to get your swing right.

Going to get my swing in. When I was living in Long Beach When I first moved here, Conseco played for Long Beach's Minor League squad or something like that. They were in Long Beach. We went down there to see Jose Conseco play a couple of years. That was the weirdest thing ever because I was like-It was him playing against little kids? He was enormous. Yeah, basically, it was like Conseco playing against a local Minor League team or something like that. It was so weird. I was like, Why is he doing? I don't know what he doing. But we went down there and saw him when I was staying in Long Beach, and I was like, This is fun to see. And the difference is incredible. When you see it, you're like, Oh, yeah, that's why he was a pro. I think he pitched. I'm almost crazy, but I think he pitched. What? Look up Jose Canseco go pitching in Long Beach. I'm almost positive. There's no way. I'm telling you, it was nuts. It was like a minor league. He did, right? It's true? This is true.

What? God damn it, Jose.

So what was the name of the team? He pitched for- How do you pitch with lads? Yeah. Well, he threw underhand. Jay, it was it. He was tossing underhand. It was wild to watch him go do that. Yeah, that was nuts.

Well, in stand-up, constantly touring all over the country, man. Yes. You are the traveler. Is there any city where you feel like you consistently just absolutely kill it?

That's so tough. My favorite cities to perform probably would be Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, LA, San Diego, Phoenix, Nashville, Dallas, Chicago, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, New York, New Jersey, Philly, Baltimore, Washington, DC, Charleston, Nashville.Ladies and gentlemen, there's never a bad show. Just come on down. Everywhere. You know what? I really couldn't even... Truthfully, I couldn't even tell you. I would say hometown Chicago.Shot time. I have the most fun going home. Chicago. It means the most to me. It's like just, I don't know, going home. You know what it's like to go home. You're like, It's just something else. But Chicago and Philly, I'm a in Philly and Boston. They always have treated me so well. Kc does me real good. St. Louis does me a little dirty, I'm not going to lie. I know because I'm a Chicago kid, I get it. But KC has always been good to me. St. Louis has been all right. Dallas and the West Coast has always blessed me really well. The West Coast always does me well, but nothing like going home, dude. Chicago, to me, it's more like-Probably just have more fun. Just seeing family. Just because we have all of our family and friends come out, and they bring their friends, and This year, we had an after-party at the Chicago Theater, and it was, I don't know, 120 people or something.

Yeah, it was great. It was like, that's more what it's about, is getting the family and the friends to just go, goof off.

You know what I mean? I tell everybody, man, win, lose. Obviously love winning more, man. But I thoroughly enjoy going up to the suite after football games and seeing all the friends and family, man. Obviously, if we win, the energy is up. It's a fucking- Big time. Yeah, we get to party even more and have more fun. But being so grateful for getting to where you are in this world and being able to share that excitement and that success with the people that you grew up with, man, and the people that you're with now, man, it's just the absolute best hour.

That's the reason to do it. I said this in the car to my sister and her best friend are with me, and I said, I think the only thing that's cool about being an adult is that when you start to make money in your career, you get to enjoy it with your friends and your family, people that you love. The only reason for me to get more career success is I can have more fun with my parents and my family, my friends, and do more fun stuff. To me, that's the only... I don't know. There is no other reason to do it other than using that to be able to have more fun and more access for fun. Yeah.

And get a sports car. True.

There you go. What is the better comedy town, Philly or KC? You got to pick one.

What's a better comedy town, Philly or KC?

Yeah.

Don't look at me.

Bro, this is so mean.

There's just more people.

There's way more people in Philly. Yeah, that's a little unfair.

More people, more funny people, more comedy.

Yeah, you have to go toe to toe. You have to go cities of similar size, like Indianapolis, Kansas City. That would be similar in size, I bet, right?

Well, which one's better between Indianapolis and Kansas City?

Yeah, Kansas City. There's no doubt about that. Yeah, there's no doubt about that.

Per capita, Kansas City is crushing it. Let me ask you this. I've always been interested in... I've loved stand-up comedy my whole life. Travis and I used to watch Comedy Center presents. We've always been infatuated with stand-up. What would be the way you would recommend to me or anybody else that's never done it to go try it? Like an open mic?

Try a mic. Yeah.

Is there a strategy that you would recommend?

If somebody's really wanting to do it, I would highly suggest not doing it for everybody. That's my first piece of advice.

Are you sick of seeing this? It is a brutal grind. Yeah, I'm going to go up there and have some fun and do it.

Well, a lot of people are the funiest guy in their group of friends or the funniest dude at the office, but they don't understand the thing to do the thing. There's another gear. It's also, if it's your career, it becomes a lifestyle. It embodies everything that you like. It's everything. You've dedicated so many years. I started in '06, '07. It's like, you really I'm starting to get recognized now as a stand-up. It takes a long time to really do it. I think a lot of people think they can, but I would say if you want to just do it for the fun of it, yeah, go hit a local...

I'm not talking about making a career of it.

I'm not talking about making a career of it. I would say hit a local open mic and try. A lot of clubs will have open mics on Sundays or Mondays in your city, depending. I would say give it a whirl and see if it does something for you. It could just be therapeutic, you know what I mean? Where it's like, this is good to just get it out. If you can't afford therapy, go to your local open mic. That's free. You can always yell about your dad at a local open mic in Poughkeepsie. Whatever makes you feel good in the end of the day. But yeah, I would say go to a mic and try it. God, that's good. I would love to see you two cats come and do it. I would love to set something up for you guys to go do it. Jay, would you be down? Yeah.

Our next bit here is, Fans send us all sorts of crazy shit. What's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give you at a show?

This is where the distance. Yeah. He's on the TV and he's not...

He's not here.

Jason, would you want to open? Maybe give it just a run?

I purposely... You're not here.

You didn't hear him. I heard it.

I'll do it. If you do it with me, I'll do it.

No, this isn't a hand-in-hand thing.

We'll see who can make more laughs.

Don't make it a challenge. Challenge. Let's get it on.

Wait, what was the question? What was that second question, though?

Fans send us all sorts of crazy shit. What's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give you at a show?

What's the weirdest thing a fan has ever tried to give me at a show? I mean, look, I've gotten a lot of drugs. Drugs are definitely a gift that people give you. Nice. That's fun. But the wildest thing is there's always a guy that comes in. Well, a dude will come with a pill jar, and he's like, Hey, well, yeah. And I'm like, I'm not taking that.

It's like the guess your flavor jellybean? What is it?

It's a good rule of Don't take random pills from people.

They'll be like, This is DMT, or whatever. I'm always like, I'm not taking this, but I will give it to a friend that I don't like that much. I will give them. Let them have it.

You give it to Bobby, and all of a sudden, he's naked on stage. Yeah, exactly.

But Bobby and I have gotten on tour. I will say the fans are incredible. The art that they've given us is beautiful. Some of these artists make such incredible stuff. And that's why on Bad Friends, our studio is built with tons of art. Yeah. We put up all the art that people give us, and we cycle it out as often as we can. But we've gotten some really heartfelt gifts. Bobby got a ring that somebody's father had during the Korean War, and I thought that was such an amazing... We get a lot of sober chips because Bobby's sober. We get a lot of those chips. I get a lot of golf stuff, which I think is really all the fans know. They always get me golf hats or golf balls or cool little trinkets, but nothing ever like, Oh, we did get... That's not true. We did get ashes of somebody's passed away mother or father. I don't quite remember, unfortunately. We got a little bit of ashes, and we lost it. Our tour manager was like, I think we put the ashes on the thing. I was like, I don't know. Sorry to that person, your dad is in somewhere else.

It doesn't sound like they really...

Somewhere else. They didn't really care that much. I have no idea. No, it was a nice thought. They were like, I want you to have a little bit.

What do you do with?

I was going to put it on my eggs. I have no idea. I don't know what you're doing. A little salt pepper? A little salt pebble, a little daddy eggs.

Oh, my goodness.

We've gotten some weird, strange stuff, but nothing too dark.

Well, besides the ashes.

Yeah, but the ashes was a nice... It was like a nice... I get it. I get what they were trying to do. Yeah, sentimental.

All right, let's get to your Chicago Fandam. We got the NFL draft coming up, and you guys are sitting in the pole position. What are you hoping they do?

I will say, do we believe in my boy? Do we believe in Caleb? Do we believe in him?

Do you?

I do, yeah. I think he's the man.

He's got some gamer in him, man.

But also, I've said this pretty Adam and Lee. I like Justin Fields. I always supported the guy. I thought he was great. I enjoyed him. Look, the system maybe wasn't working. We have a lot of things going on in Chicago, as people know. Virginia McCasky, I think she's I think you guys can look that up. She's a little bit older. She's a little bit older.

She sought off pipes for the original-Yeah, she was the original. Yeah, she was the original.

The soldier stadium. Yeah, she built Soulja Field. It's a little tough. I think the bears need some fixing. I believe in Caleb. I think he's going to do some great stuff. I really genuinely do. I hope. You have to, unfortunately, because we've had... You guys know, the bears just have been beating up so much. Much. Even when we start sniffing over 500, we bring ourselves back down to reality every season.

I do think you guys got a good GM right now. I thought Ryan was a great... I think he was head of... I'm not sure what his position was in KC, but-He scouted for you guys? Oh, yeah. He helped us build a lot of what we got. Or at least he's been there the entire time I've been there, and I've seen him in the building really working. You don't get those jobs without a good resume build.

No. Look, I think we're really constructing what could be really great for the bears. The problem with Chicago teams, we always say that we're like, We're rebuilding. It's like, We've been rebuilding for a long time. We've been rebuilding since I was born on Earth. But it is what it is. I mean, look, and I'll support them forever. I do get a lot of shit online for supporting you. I get a lot of shit for that. Whenever I wear a KC, everyone's Oh, really? You're a Chiefs fan? Now that they're winning? I was like, That's for my boys are. I'm just supporting my friends. But people really clap at me about that. So I can't stand that because they're like- Maybe the bear should get some guys who just love to rip it on the golf course with Cheeto, man.

Yeah. That's what I'm I'm not even talking about it.

Yeah, come on. Come play golf with me. Then I'll support you. No. I'm a Chicago sports fan. Come on, Cole? Yeah, Cole is a local boy. He's a dog, too. We love him.

I love watching.

But I'm going to support the bears Again and again, it's hard. It's just really tough, particularly when you spoil me and I come see you guys, and that sucks. I was like, How come my team can't do that? I like that. That's what I like, the trophy. I like, Well, we want one of those.

Out of all the Chicago teams, which one's top dog? Bears, cubs, Bulls, Black Hawks?

For me, Cubs. I grew up... Obviously, I grew up... For me, as a kid, it was basketball and baseball. The bears were a little bit later in my life because I played basketball and baseball. I never played football. I did play football, and then I got a concussion, and my dad was like, No more? I was like, No more. That's it. I'm tapping out. Namas. Namas. What position? Well, this is funny. In junior high, I was a safety, and I love playing defense. And then our kicker got hurt. And the coach was like, Santino is athletic. He can kick. All you got to do is kick it away. And the kid snapped the ball over my head seven feet, and I jumped as high as I could. I used to be able to hop. We have pictures I can send you guys of me, Duncan in college. Daddy used to be able to hop. Now I have sciatica. He snapped the I had the ball seven feet over my head, and I remember looking up being like... As I jumped, I remember going, Shit. I knew it was way gone. So I ran back to grab the ball, and I'm looking over out of my peripheral.

The coach is like, Kick it. But I knew I couldn't kick on the run. You know what I mean? On that turn and run. You couldn't run the pun it anymore? No way, dude.

It wasn't taught that thing.

No way. That's so hard. And so then I just started sprinting up the line, and I was making way, and I see the first down, and then... And I woke up, and my dad was over me. He's like, You got your bell rung. That's what he kept saying. You got your bell rung. I was gone. I was... I want to see this so bad. And after that, I was like, No more football.

Do you remember Sean Taylor in the In the Pro Bowl game?

Oh, oh. He rocked that fucking kicker on the fake field goal.

Dirty. The punter. Dude, that's what this is taking me back to right now.

Oh, dude, the pain was unble... Because it blindsided me, too, because I'm running up the side. I don't see this dude coming out of this side. I got smoked. And it was helmet to helmet. Back then, in junior high, helmet to helmet, they like, cheered it on. They were like, Yeah, spear him. Spear him in the head with your head. So I stopped playing football, and then-Dude, Pernis O'Neill has a great bit about that, man.

Who does? Pernice O'Neill, R-I-P. I think he's passed. I'm not sure.

Patrice O'Neill? Patrice. Oh, yeah.

Dude, he has a good bit about how it was just back in the day. It was like, there wasn't a get on a knee and pray for him? Uh-uh. We were doing a tribal dance around this man.

They were dancing on top of him?

Yeah, I've seen that a bit.

Yeah. They're taking socks. I quit football. And then so Cubs and Jordan. I grew up in the Jordan era, so basketball was number one for me my whole life. And then now I still go Cubs games, Bulls, Hawks, if I can, and bears. But yeah, Cubs are number one for me. My dog's name is Cubs, is Cubby. That's 2015, man. I took my dad to the World Series. That was the greatest moment of my life. I know, dude. I loved it so much. I took my dad to the World Series, and I was shooting. I'm dying up here. We were shooting. I'll tell it quickly, but we were shooting over Dodger Stadium. We were in Chávez Ravine, and there was a kickout that's above the stadium that looks down. We were shooting this scene where, man, this is such a weird... On the show, I was mad at my father for not being a good dad, and he gifted me a car. I wanted to bash the car to pieces because I hated him so much. We were at night, we were shooting the scene where I was bashing this car over Dodger Stadium about my dad that I hated who did me wrong.

But I was trying to shoot the scene as fast as I could because I had to leave that night to get to the airport for a 5:00 AM flight to Chicago to make it to get to the World Series to take my dad. Yeah. So fucking cool. Got to the airport on time. I'm on the plane and the flight is delayed. I'm having a panic attack like, Oh, I'm going to miss the World Series. I remember I was in the galleyway and I called my dad and I was like, I think I'm going to miss the World Series. I started just bawling. I was bawling. My old man was like, It's okay. It's okay. I go, You can take someone. Just take someone in the game. He's like, No, I'm not going to go without you. Just sell the tickets. Just get on StubHub or Ticketmaster and sell the tickets.Dude, tell me you made it.Dude. Then I hung up the phone and the flight attendant was like, I think we're maybe going to take off in the next half an hour, praying to God. We take off, and I am like, Please, please, please make this.

Just let me get an ending. Please, please, please. Just let me get an ending. This is my hand to God. I landed and I jumped in a cab and I threw the guy all the money I had in my pocket. I said, Please get me to Wrigley Field as illegally as you can. He was driving on the shoulder of the highway. Just on the shoulder, we're driving. He was like, If I get a ticket, you're paying. I'm like, No, I don't care. No doubt. I get there and I met my dad in front of Wrigley. We have a picture of it. As they were singing the national anthem, he was waiting outside. Let's fucking go. Yeah. It was the wildest moment. You hear that, Chicago? It was the wildest moment.

All that shit you fucking talk about the Shai Town kid not loving the city?

You fucking kidding me? It was amazing. I got to go. And we still lost that game, but I had such a good time.

I got a similar... Not as fucking cool as that. That is awesome. Yeah, it was wild. But I did take... That's a tough on the top. I took Papa Kels to the World Series. Sat right behind Home Plate up there in progressive feel, but as me and Jason know, Jacob's field.

Jacob's field, right. You don't call it that.

Man, I'm telling you, those moments, they're the absolute best. I remember my dad throwing me on the-The rapid. The rapid. You get off right there at the Gateway district, man, and you just... It's like the times have changed. Like, dad would just go up and get in a fucking nosebleed seat, and we go and see the Indians. Then, of course, I'm taking them to the fucking World Series.

It's the coolest moment, man. It was the coolest moment ever, man. It was such a big special thing to do, and I'm stoked that I was able to do it. It was incredible. I'll never forget it. Your dad's a real one.

He's like, Just sell the tickets.

If it's not you, I don't want to go. I loved him for that. I said, Just take... His buddy John. I was like, Just take John. Just take John to the game. He'll appreciate it. Harvey will like the game. He was like, No, I'm not going without you. Just sell the tickets. And I literally was on one of the ticket apps, and I was contemplating hitting sell now. I held it open and I was like, Gosh, should I just sell these tickets? I should just sell them. I'm never going to make this. And luckily, she was like, Just sit down. I think we might be able to do it in 30 minutes. And I was like, Please God. And then, by the way, the whole flight, I was just chugging whiskey, double whiskies. But I was like, Please make it. Got to be primed. Got to be prepped and ready.

Can't enjoy Wrigley. How has that been? Seeing that entire community outside of Wrigley.

What the Wreckes did to that whole thing is bananas. When I was a kid, it was just a little scumbag central for party animal. Now it's high-end. You can go get a nice meal before the game. It used to be just a shitty McDonald's and a bunch of sports bars. Now it's hotels and restaurants. It's beautiful, though. They really did make it look like an event. You know what I mean? You can bring your full family there and It really is like a whole to-do. You can spend a whole day down there having a good time, especially day games. Day games at Wrigley are the best.

They didn't start playing night games till fucking...

Yeah, it's like 10 days ago. We were too cheap for lights. We were too broke to throw lights up. That's cool, though.

Fuck it. This is how we play baseball in the sun.

But cooking in the sun and the bleacher bums with their shirts off, just blacked out, sunburn. It is like that is Wrigley personified. Beautiful, beautiful young women like young blonde women, and just blacked out dude, shirts off, fatted out right next to them. That's a Wrigley iconic image.

Now I'm sold. I've always been a diehard. Just want to go to every stadium there is, every sporting event there is. Wrigley has been at the top of the list for you, so we got to do it, dude. Let's go.

I'm down.

Whenever you're not touring.

We have to at least go out to the bleachers. I know you want to sit like-Oh, no. You want to sit like Travis, but we got to go out there. No, no, no, no, no.

When it comes to... I want to be in the shit.

We I want to go out there for a minute. I want to be in the shit. You won't last long, but we should go out there.

No, I promise you. I blend like the tree. I blend with the trees. I blend with the best of them.

Just one. Is that Travis Calci? Just one of those.

Jonas Valentunis.

Is that Valentunis? Oh, it is. That's what I thought it was. My doppelganger is, I keep getting tag with Spencer Turnbull. He's a Philly. He's a Philly boy, right?

Spencer Turnbull. He's a pitcher for the Philly.

Isn't he a pitcher for the Philly? I I haven't seen this one yet. The Spencer Turnbull? Yeah.

The name does ring a bell.

Dude, you got to see this guy. It's like people keep tagging me. They're like, You look exactly like this, dude.

It's almost creepy. Dude, when the Valenzunas got drafted, I immediately- I forgot.

I definitely was just talking to this guy in the field.

You know this guy?

Right before you threw out the first pitch. Full on 15 to 20 minute conversation.

I had a boy, Jason.

I was like, I could have sworn I met this guy.

Oh my gosh.

People tag me. People are like, This is you, bro?

That's so good.

Right away. He's ridiculous. He is very handsome, I'll say that. So shout out to Spencer Turb. Yeah, he's a Philly now. He was in Detroit before, and now he's in Philly.

Speaking of sitting in the stands, I love sitting in the stands as well. Kyly and I, one time, this is before Kyly got famous, but in Philly, it's always hard to go to the sporting events, but I got a full-on disguise. The old Mr. Potato head with glasses.

Which only makes you stand out more.

If For sure. But people don't know. They're like, Who the hell is that guy? Just to sit in the outfield. It lasted by four innings. But either way-It's the best.

It's so fun last.

Can I come with you guys?

You are more than welcome.

Legendary Cubs Sub pitcher, Rick Suckliff.

Yeah, Suckliff, baby.

Suckliff has been telling me to bring my ass out there for years now, and I owe it to him. He's a Kansas City guy. He grew up in KC, big Chiefs fan. But he's been telling me I got to hit Wrigley with him.

What are we waiting for, my guy?

Dude, honestly, I don't know at this point. It's going to happen now.

We're going. We're doing it. You'll see us, Wrigley. You'll see us. We'll be out there, baby.

Let's get to a little, We got to ask, but you don't have to answer. Okay, great. That's always a fun game. Jason, you want to tee it up? Love it.

Sure. Moving on to our last segment. We got to ask, You don't have to answer. This segment is sponsored by Lazy Boy. Join the movement. Take a moment on the most comfortable furniture out there. Long live the Lazy.

All right, you talked about the time Pat drank 23 Coors lights during the course of two of your shows. That's right. He stayed for not one, but two. Oh, yeah. He doubled down because that's how fucking funny Tito is. All right, were you surprised that he could drink like that?

Oh, my God. Well, first of all, people that know Pat know he loves them Coors, baby. He gets them Coors. He gets them Coors, man.

That mountain water.

That mountain are blue. I'm breaking. At the first show, the wild thing was, that was in Dallas, at the Addison Improf. The wild thing was, during the first show, I just assumed they were going to have a drink or two, watch the show and then leave. I was like, They got somewhere to be. When they told me he drank them out of Coors lights, I for real thought they were joking. But the club was like, No, we actually have to go buy more. We ran out of Coors lights. It was like, That's a legendary joke. I was like, That's not even a real thing. They were like, No, I mean, obviously people in the room were drinking them, but they were like, Your party drank a fair amount of Coors lights. Then when the second show came around, I thought, Well, he's probably only going to have a few. We're not going to You know what I mean? He'll probably have a few because then Daniel might want to go. But no, he smoked whatever they gave him there. He just bashed all of those. Easy. Then we went out and he was like, Let's go to this Mexican restaurant and get food and hang out.

We did Then he smashed another probably dozen. Then he's like, Who was at the club? Maybe he wanted to go to the club to go see somebody. Maybe it was Dez or something. I don't even remember who it was. He was like, Yeah, let's go meet them in the club. Then it was another dozen coolers. This dude, I was like, I see why you're sponsored, dude.

Surprisingly coherent the entire time.

Yeah, dude, he's functional. There's no like-Not a wobble. There's no like, Oh, Pat's gone. No, he was smashed into them cours, dude. Those silver bullets were going down easy, baby. Was a little surprised at first, then I got used to it. All right.

When Rob McAlaney came on the show, we talked about the time the two of you made fun of Travis for wearing a Rolex on the golf course. Do you remember this?

Oh, fuck, dude. On the Remember when I went to Lakeside?

Yeah, this guy had an all gold Rolex. He had all gold Rolex to come play golf.

I had just got it. I didn't know where to put it. I didn't want to throw it in the golf bag. It was hilarious. I just started ripping it with it on.

Did you get that? He just wanted one of those claw machines. I was like, Where did you get that from, dude? Why are you wearing that on the golf? It was so shiny. I'll tell you a good embarrassing story about Rob McEchelhane. He won't like this at all. We were playing on... You either just played with us or we were just about to play with you, and we were doing a round, and we were on a little par three. Mac put one over the fence into the river, and he took his club. I want to say it's like a wedge. There's bushes, but there's also one of those cross-linked fences behind the bush. He threw it so hard. It went through that fence, through the bushes, and the LA River sits below it, and it's all concrete. Most of the time, it's no water in it. You could hear bing, bing, bing, You heard his club bounce off of the concrete, and me and the two dudes were playing with silence. I didn't say a word. I was like, Oh, dude, I'm not going to talk to him for the rest of the day. And he goes, And now when I tell that story, I'm like, Dude, Mac threw a club one time, threw the fence, and he's like, I don't do that.

I don't do that anymore. That's not something I do anymore. I was like, Okay, man. But you did. You did it once. Yeah, you did it once. It happened.

So you sent the ball into the river again.

Yeah, he sent the ball and the club into the river. Yeah, but Trev, when he came out wearing a big, shiny Rolex, I was like, How are you going to swing this thing on? And we kept making fun of him the whole time. But he stayed his course.

Once it was on, you got to eat it.

Yeah, you have to. Again, that's playground rules. Did they take it off? No, you can't take it off. That's more embarrassing. A dream foursome. Okay. Golfers and non-golfers? That's tough. Tiger, for sure. 100%. Jordan, because I know he's a big golf dog. God, I'm trying to think of non-golfers, too, because my brain just goes, automatically to golfers. Tiger, Jordan, Kim Jong Un.

Most hole in one in the history of golf.

I know. I've heard he's so nasty. He's the best. How could I not? Yeah. Hole-in-one again, Mr. Un? This is a par five. Yeah. Larry David? Probably Larry would definitely be up there. I would say, Let's throw him in the mix. But that's what's tough, is there's so many dudes that I would kill to play with, but Tiger, for sure, and MJ. I would love to play just those two cats alone because-I mean, you get those two on the golf course. I just want to see the competition. Oh, my gosh. I know. That's all I want to see.

It has to be. They've had to have played together. It was just the most epic round of the time.

Yeah, absolutely.

Tiger, Tiger, and MJ, whenever you guys want to play. Give me a call.

You've been on a ton of TV shows. Which one, specifically, do people most recognize you on?

I mean, Dave is probably because it's the most recent. Dave, people see me the most on when we were shooting the show. I think that one a lot. I did my first sitcom that failed. It was called Mixology. It's weird. Sometimes I'll get an aunt, like your aunt Jeanine. When I'm out, it'll be like, Are you on a show called Mixology? I'll get that sometimes, which is wild. It lasted one season on ABC and got crushed. But I've done so many small little bit roles, too. The rest of development, no one really snuck on that. I did Curb, and people will see me from that sometimes because that was a couple of years ago, which was one of the best experiences of my entire life. It was wild, but mostly Dave. Almost always Dave now because it was such a big show on FX for a Hot Minute. Hopefully Ricky's to Nicki will be what more and more people see. Fuck, yeah. Then who knows what's next? I have a new show that we're working on now for me. Fingers crossed. All about whiskey, baby. That's what I'm going to go. All about whiskey, baby.

We need a big bearded guy in the barrel room, so Jason, if you're available.

I mean, yeah, I'm free. Okay.

Are you busy? Are you working? I'm jobless.

Actually, currently, I officially don't have a job.

Well, let's employ you, man. I would love to employ you. All right.

Perfect.

Well, Wikipedia has a list of myriad of reasons, myriad of things that they have on there, as you're known as. Slugger Santino, the Red Rocket.

I love that he is avoiding Time out. I got to bring this up. Orange. He's avoiding a word that's on this rundown because he doesn't know the word. What is the word?

But I used another good word. You did.

You navigated it well.

Wait, what's the word? Let me see. Can I see what the word is? Hold on, let me see.

I think it's %.

Hold on, hold on. Where are we looking? Wikipedia has an official list of your pseudonyms. Right, pseudonyms.

The silent P's always get me. The silent P's.

If it's a PS, that's tough. Yeah, PSs are tough.

But I use- It is.

That's Cincinnati. That's Cincinnati. Myriad.

That's a good- This is what we don't blame Travis for this.

This is whoever wrote that word in there. How dare you?

You can't say you're not proud of me.

But he said Myriad. Myriad was good. He was right. You have a litany. You could say litany. A litany of litany.

Another one.

A litany. You did use some big words there.

You nailed that. My pseudonyms on wiki, yeah. The Slugger Santino, that came from when I was a young lad in Chicago. We grew up in downtown Chicago, my mom and I, when she was still a single mother, and I would fight a lot. I like to fight often. Fuck, yeah. Yeah, it was one of my favorite things.

Oh, hell, yeah.

I was kicked out of a few different places for fighting. I think I got kicked out of preschool for fighting, which is bananas. Dude, welcome to the team. But they called me Slugger. Welcome to the team. Then I went to Moody Bible, which people know, and they asked me to leave politely. Because of my mom was like, You're kicking him out? They're like, We're asking him to no longer attend. Nobody wants to leave with a black eye. Very non-catholic of him to punch everyone in the face that he doesn't like. They called him... Slugger Santino was born from that. The Red Rocket was a natural... That was a great play on a dog's penis nickname for me because I'm the Red Rocket. He was a bit Red Rocket. What's the other one?

Agent Agent Orange?

Agent Orange is not me. I'd never heard of that, but I like that. I'll take it. That's a good one. I like Agent Orange.

Cheto Dust Cultivator?

Yeah, I think that's just someone playing with Cheto Santino. Yeah, I think that one. I think that one's just a rendition of it.

The Last of the Great Gingers.

Joe Rogan said that one time on his podcast, and that stuck. I think Joe introduced me on his podcast as The Last of the Great Gingers, and that made its way somehow onto Wikipedia. It's so funny. It's like someone said something once seven years ago, and then it landed.

Out of those ones right there where we just listened.

I think Agent Orange is I should start going by that. I think that's amazing. That's like my Men in Black code. You know what? On Men in Black, they make you look into that pen, but they just have to look into my hair. I just stare down as like…

Like Medusa, man.

Especially me in the winter, dude. Look at this, dude. Ghostly, you know what I mean? I can't wait for summertime to get burnt. I just get a little… Just one more shade of orange. That's all I get. I get a little… I turn into burnt orange.

Sounds like a Mountain Dew. Agent Orange. Agent Orange.

They did have Code Red. Code Red, I mean, it still is a thing at Taco Bell.

Code Red could be me, but Agent Orange sounds really good. Yeah, I do like it. I mean, the history of it is not good, but we'll take the current wordplay. Yeah. The history is not so good.

Our eyes are just a little different.

Whatever, man. We still drink Irish car bombs, and that's not cool. You know what I mean?

I still fucking...

Oh, yeah. That's not a cool... That's not a happy piece of history, but we're fine with that.

All righty. I'm not sure you saw this, but I talked about losing my Super Bowl ring last week in a pool of chili on our last episode.

Yeah. Zero. He has, what is it, remorse? He doesn't give a fuck that he just lost a Super Bowl right here?

Yeah, why? Because they'll just get you another one. I care.

It's not like I'm happy I lost it, but I'm not like...

How do you lose? I mean, that seems such a hard thing to lose.

You don't lose it. Somebody steals it.

We have some video evidence What's the most expensive thing that I've lost or sentimental thing that I've lost?

Because that thing's probably got to be more sentimental of a loss for you, right? Then pricey.

For sure. I mean, it's expensive, too, but it's definitely the sentimental The nature of it, which sucks, for sure.

I think what's the most expensive thing I've ever lost? I mean, you know what? This is not in price, but it's funny you say that that red rocket was a nickname I did for a tour. We had an artist draw this great piece of art, and they made me a custom red rocket hat, and I love that hat. It had two R's on it. I was racing out of my Uber to the airport, and I left that in the Uber. As I closed the door and I watched it drive away, I was going to miss my flight, and I was like, Should I call this dude to turn around? I slowly was like, Goodbye, sweet hat. It killed me because it was like one of one. It was the only one, and I was bummed. Whoever got in that Uber got my red rocket hat. Whoever's got that fucking double R, please. It broke my heart. It was a bummer because it was like-Get it back to its own. I love that hat, man. It was a one of one, and it was a cool gift from my buddy. That sucked, and that was only a couple of months ago.

But in the history of losing stuff, there's nothing that I've The amount of times I've left Airpods somewhere is comical.

Sure.

I've gifted the world seven Airpods. At least for me. Oh, my God, dude. What? I've left them so many places. Or they fall out of my pocket. My car key is down there. It's not even in my pocket. It's this. It fell out of my pocket.

Mine definitely did. That's me.

It happens all the time.

The company is genius.

Yeah, dude. I have an extra pair of brand new Airpods at my house right now just in case. Just in case. Just because I know I'm going to lose it.

Well, I learned this. I lost I lost my AirPod in a seat of the airplane, and the guy was like, We can try to get it for you. I got off of the plane. I waited. They're picking apart the seat. The technician was picking it apart, and then he goes, I see it right there. I was like, Oh, shit. Awesome. I go, Can you get it? He goes, No, no chance. I was like, Oh, okay. Why did we wait? What was the point of waiting? I don't know if you know this. Tip for everybody. If you lose one AirPod, you can order a single AirPod. You don't have to buy. Yes, I swear. Really? I went to the Apple Store. I asked him. He's like, No, we can do a single order for one because this happened so much. Because I assumed I just needed to buy a new. But he was like, No, you can get a singular AirPod. So I went to the Apple Store. So shout out to Apple for that. That was huge.

Do you remember how much the single one was?

Don't shout out Apple for anything. These assholes invented the most loosable earbud's of all time.

You're right, dude. Apple, you're the worst. You're the absolute worst. Unless, of course, you want to write me a check.

They have phones. They could have unbreakable phones. They could use glass that doesn't break, but they purposely put it in glass that does break.

But you know what? I I'll come back to that. I've never put a case on my phone.

Jason does the same thing.

And I've never broken them.

I'm not a case guy. I've broken it at least over 20 times.

Well, this has come from the guy that lost a Super Bowl ring, so this makes sense.

I think this makes-Yeah,I just want you to know you're plugging Apple right now.

Yeah, you're plugging them real hard.

I might go to Apple and get a new phone number. I won't leave it, though.

I'm not going to leave them.

Artito, you're one of the most famous gingers out there. Can you do a Mount Rushmore of famous gingers for us?

Oh, interesting.

Very good. You can put yourself on there.

Shout out to George Washington, the original ginger. People don't know that.

George Washington? He had...

What? My friend, my friend, my friend. You are remembering Mr. Washington in a wig. Yes, the wig was not his hair. That was a wig he was wearing.

Oh, look, it's George.

He was a redhead. You can look it up. George Washington was actually a redhead.

Is there photo evidence of this?

I don't know how many photographs were being snapped of GW. You can read up on it, I'm sure. I think you read some literature about it. I would say, who else makes the Mount Rushmore of Gingerleys? I probably put Roni Howard up there, OP Taylor, because I got called that a lot when I was a kid. The first school I went to in Chicago, all of the black kids called me Opie. I hated it because I didn't understand what it even meant. But then I thought, Oh, that kid was cute from Andy Griffith show. That's nobody on this, and nobody's listening to the show, knows what that is.

Unless you watch nick and Night.

Yeah, that's right. That's just right, baby. That's my dad's favorite show. My sister's over there. She can attest. My dad has watched more Andy Griffith episodes, right? That anything on Earth. It's disgusting. She confirmed it. It's absurd. I would say, let's give Roni Howard a shoutout. George Washington is on there. I don't know. Do you guys have any favorite gingers you like? It's pretty.

I mean, we got a list of them.

Oh, let me see.

Does Canelo Alvarez count?

Yeah, Canelo I get called... Yeah, Canelo. I get called Canelo sometimes. Prince Harry, he's in limbo with me right now. No, I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. Andy Dalton. Shout out to Andy Dalton.

Dude, he won me a free car, man. Did he really? Yeah, he threw the ball to me for a 15-yard countdown. And the game was so ass at the Pro Bowl that year that it won me a free car.

What car was it?

It was a Genesis.

And who has that?

I still have it. You do? Travis? Dude, yeah. Kumar is out here sliding around. It's a company Yeah, Bill Burr has got to be up there 100%.

Let's give the other one to... Let's say Lindsay Lohan, for sure. The O'G. The O'G Lindsay Lohan. We'll give it to her.

The Lady Ginger's love.

She's making her second round in the biz. She's coming back. She's making another pop in a big way. Yeah.

I think I saw her. She did an Irish movie, actually, not too long ago.

My wife likes Hallmark movies. She did one of those, and she liked it. She loves Hallmark movies, man. I love that. Loves that. Are you a Hallmark guy, Tre?

I dabble now. Yeah, you do. I dabble now.

Well, you like the cards, so you might as well like the movies. Big fan of the cards.

Huge fan of... Well, it's a Kansas City-based company.

Is it really? Hallmark? Yeah.

Shout out. I'm throwing that out there. I think it is, though.

A piece of me thinks that's not true at all. Is it? I know. They are?

Okay. I've been there for fucking 11 years. I see it all the time. You shouldn't know.

I know.

I know it's big.

Love their cards.

Nice. We've You mentioned on the show that, Conspiracy theories help bring NFL locker rooms together. Where are your conspiracy theories?

Oh, for stand-up?

Yeah. No, just period. You got to make it, Conspiracies?

Oh, my. Conspiracy theories? Oh, my God.

They bring NFL locker rooms together.

Like Kyrie's Flat-Earth? Yeah.

Well, he's not the only one that thinks that, but he's probably the most well known.

What percentage of the NFL believes in Flat-Earth, do you think?

Dude, honestly, there's at least 10 guys, 10 to 15 guys in every locker room, I would have imagined.

That are hardcore Flat-Earth.

I think if you took a truly anonymous poll, like nobody had to disclose their name or anything like that, I think you're over 15% of an NFL locker room.

It's crazy. What? I'm telling you.

That's insane.

Everyone gets hit in the head. It's unbelievable.

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Chito, I was telling this to his position coach about what percentage of guys in the position goes. There's nobody on the team that actually thinks that. Within your shot of this conversation, one of the guys said, I mean, how do you know it's not?

Yeah, man, right on. You got to let them fly with that. What are the other conspiracy theories I believe in? I mean, it's an endless list. I mean, which one? I mean, they're all real and true. The NFL is rigged. That one's really good. That one I love. That's a good one. I've seen the script. You've sent me one script. I got one script. It was pretty good.

It was the game you were coming to. I wanted to make sure you knew what the script was.

Yeah, because I was like, I'm going to have to leave early. Travis printed out like old MapQuest directions. He printed out exactly what That's what I needed to stay for.

Well, it was because he came to the Broncos game last year in Denver. It was the game we lost, and we had to lose a few more for it to really look unexpected that we were going to win the Super Bowl this year.

I even said to him, I said, I'm bringing my wife's family to the Broncos game. Can you take an L? This is the first time my wife's parents have ever sat in a suite.

Let me call Goodell.

So he called everyone up and said if they would take an L in Mile High.

Everybody was in. They were like, Yeah, if you lose to the Broncos.

And if you notice, guys, if you rewind the footage, Travis, when the game is over, points up to my suite and just does a little and walks off the field. That one was a bummer. I did not want to bother you. After the game was over, I was like, I will not be calling Travis. I will not get more ready.

I didn't even want to call you. I'm like, God damn it. I got him tickets to this fucking trash-ass game.

No, bro. It was such a good game. Well, my wife's dad, too, he had never been in a suite at Mile High, and he walked in the room, and he was like, Wow. And I go, Isn't this awesome? And he turns to his left, and he goes, So much food. Dude. I was like, Whatever you want, man, you can have anything you want.

I think if you clean that out, they'll actually bring another one.

They'll bring more, bro. It was awesome. Yeah, we had a great time. Fuck, yeah.

Before we wrap up, Andrew, floor's yours. Is there anything you wanted to ask us or say before we wrap this thing up?

I love you both, and I appreciate you both, and I'm happy that New Heights is New Heights. It's because we sat in my house and your penis fell out a couple of years ago, and not Now you're in the podcast game. I'm happy for it. I wish you were here, Jay, but next time, we'll do it again next time. But that's it. I got nothing else. Come see me on the road. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for the tickets and watch Bad Friends and Whisky Ginger, and I'll see you boys next time. You know it.

The absolute best, ladies and gentlemen. Awesome. Appreciate you. I appreciate you, bro. Wrapped this thing up, Jason.

All right. Thank you to Andrew Santino for coming on the show. This wraps up another episode of New Heights. Make sure you subscribe to the New Heights channel on YouTube so you know when all the new episodes are coming out. We'll be back next week to talk about the NFL draft and whatever else we feel like talking about. Listen, subscribe wherever we get your podcast.

All right now. All right now. Once again, New Heights presented by Wave Sports Entertainment. It brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings. Let's go, sports bar. Pro's pro right here. Jason's a little late. God damn it. Follow the show on all social media @New Heights Show. I got a delay. I fucking hate being up here. For fun clips throughout the week. Thank you to our production crew. Thank you to the 92%ers. We love you guys. And thank you, Tachito Santino for bringing the Jews. We love you, brother. Thank you.

Thank you, boys. Peace.