Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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Okay, let's go.

And then I love the soft work to be done no place to hang out on washing and then I can name all on the sun oh, no, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher. It's hard.

In my take presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Download the DraftKings app use code take to play free for a shot at the $1 million top prize on the Millie maker DraftKings contest coming up next week. So go check it out and use code take. Today is Friday, April 5, and the NCAA is trying to screw the Connecticut Huskies.

They're doing everything they can. The Huskies were delayed on the tarmac. They had a plane issue or not on the tarmac. There was a plane that was coming in from Kansas City. Yes, it got delayed. UConn didn't get out to Arizona until early this morning.

Three, four in the morning.

Yeah.

So they're doing it. Mayor Pete, he's an Indiana guy. Maybe he's thinking, throw the huskies off Purdue. They beat him in the championship. I don't know. There's a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff going on with the NCAA going after UConn, but fortunately for Danny Hurley, he now has the fuel. It wouldn't shock me if Danny Hurley actually delayed that flight. Yeah, false flag. So therefore, he could complain about this. But whatever it is, they've got motivation.

They fucked with the huskies. I know people like, oh, well, that's two days ahead. That's when that's the most important sleep.

This is the sleep before the most important sleep, isn't it?

I think it's. I think it's. So Jack Mac, our colleague, talked to a sleep expert and said that when you go through time zones, it's a day per time zone. So three days to get feeling good. And they got there Thursday morning, so they won't feel good until probably Sunday.

Okay. Cause Jim Harbaugh's stance is that it's the night before the night before.

Right, right.

So this would be the night before the night before the night before. But you can't get a good night's sleep the night before the night before. If you got all fucked up in your head the night before. The night before the night before.

It's.

It's messed up.

Yeah, it's messed up.

They're trying to take down the Huskies, but, yeah, we're getting ready for the final four. We're gonna be there in Arizona. So we will be on location. We'll be at the game on Saturday night. We're gonna be doing a watch party on Monday night. Excited, Hank?

Super excited.

How many golf games you got planned? Just one.

Just playing tomorrow?

Just one.

We're going to Topgolf.

Two.

That's for work, though.

Yep.

Have to do that.

Have to do that.

And we were talking about maybe squeezing in the Tiger woods putt putt thing that he has out there.

That's more like location scout.

Yeah.

Or maybe something in the future. Who knows?

Oh, and we're also talking. I was invited to that when we.

Haven'T locked it in. Jeff D. Low.

Hit me up.

Okay.

We were also talking about maybe doing a par three. But that's not golf.

No.

And it's not locked in.

Well, neither is topgolf. It's golf, but it's not.

It's not golf, but it is golf.

It is golf. Yeah.

So we're gonna be excited. We'll be out there.

We'll get.

We'll get to our picks in a minute. Let's talk about some other things. The Oakland Athletics have officially announced that they are moving to Sacramento temporarily.

Yeah.

For, I think, what is it, three years and then a fourth year option? Something like that.

Yeah.

So we got. We got all types of scumbags we got to go through for this. We. You guys have heard us talk about how much we hate John Fisher. That fucking idiot. John Fisher got in front of the people of Sacramento and said that he is very excited to be able to watch some of the greatest players in baseball, whether they be athletics players or Aaron Judge and others. This fucking dude doesn't know anyone on his team.

No, he doesn't. He just wants.

He's.

He's selling the idea of good baseball players will play here also. The athletics that I own will.

Yeah.

And it's, what, a 10,000 seat stadium?

15, I think he said it's the.

Most intimate environment in baseball.

Yeah.

So it's. It's official.

The.

The grounds crew, I think, in. In the coliseum didn't find. They found out via Twitter. This was obviously, like, it felt like it was going to happen. And then it happened officially on Thursday. We also had Vivek, the owner of the Kings, total scumbag as well, because he bought the Kings to keep the Kings in Sacramento, which was admirable move. And now he's just basically laundering the a's for them and being like, yeah, we'll take you for a few years.

To halfway home before you go to Vegas.

He also had a quote, Vivek, when I bought the Kings, I said that Sacramento would never play second fiddle to any other city. That makes no sense. You're literally playing second fiddle to Las Vegas.

And Oakland.

And Oakland.

He's playing.

You're getting a temporary fiddle. Yeah. You're just. It's just a who's who cast of characters, of people that you should all hate.

And it's ridiculous the way this has been handled from start to finish. Obviously, it's been a clusterfuck, but the. The fact that they have to find a stadium to move to before they move to their new stadium is absurd.

Right?

So, like, just find a place that you can crash at, essentially, for. And it's not just for a season. That's what's crazy, is like, they're going to be doing. They're going to be doing this for multiple years. Staying in Sacramento, all the while trying to design a stadium which actually hasn't been designed yet.

Correct.

In Las Vegas.

It's.

It's a bad look for baseball.

I'm gonna.

I'm gonna say it. Bad look for baseball. Bad look for Rob Manfred.

Bad look for Rob Manfred. Bad look for Vivek, the owner of the Kings, who, again, like, the hypocrisy of being like, we're not gonna let someone come in and take the Kings. And then just being the handoff for the a's.

Yeah.

Total bullshit. So, unfortunately, it feels like this is all going to happen, whether we make a stink. I mean, we're small. A small, small piece of all this. It's obviously the city of Oakland. Our goal should just be for the rest of time is just to remind people that John Fisher is a fucking coward, scumbag, loser.

Yeah, I'm okay with doing that.

And they also, they have locked their. Their tweets, so you can't reply. They did that a while ago. Yeah, but to tweet out being like, we're going to Sacramento, and no one can reply. You're cowards. You're cowards, and you're losers. And you know what, John Fisher? You're rich, dude. Why don't you have hair?

That's a good point.

You fucking idiot.

Is very, very, like, this is where.

We got to take it. I think we just got to take it to the personal level and just be like, John Fisher, bro, you. You can't fucking.

You.

You can't get money for a new stadium, and you can't get hair.

Yeah.

John Fisher, your family owned the gap then. It looks like your. Your teeth own the gap right now, bro.

Get dentist. Shit. Aaron judges favorite player.

Seeing ortho the.

I also didn't realize I was reading up more about John Fisher. He was. He bought a piece of the Giants back in the nineties to keep the Giants in San Francisco.

Yeah, he bought the Giants. And then he said, you know what? I'm going to buy the a's so that I can make money.

It's a.

It's a classic case of a guy wanting to prove that he can make money, but the only way he knows how to make money on his own without mom and dad holding his hand is to take mom and dad's money and then buy a guaranteed asset that's going to increase no matter how bad you fuck it up.

Yeah.

And then you can say, look, I did, so I made something of myself. It's a classic field fucking loser.

And I guarantee you, like, he should. He should have to be quizzed on his entire roster, because there's no way he knows his entire roster. And I wouldn't be shocked if he also thinks Brad Pitt works at his. In his facility.

Yeah.

Where's Jonah Hill? I haven't seen him in a while.

Yeah, it's.

It's a sad state of affairs, major league baseball right now, and there's nothing.

You can do about it except say, john Fisher's a fucking loser and has no hair.

From now until the end of time, you can remind him that he's bald.

Yeah.

Guess what? That ain't coming back.

Come on the podcast, though. We won't ask any bald questions.

I'll ask one.

Actually, you know what, John Fisher? Because you're such a broke boy. I will pay for your hair restoration.

Mmm.

If you come on the podcast. So make that a quote card. John Fisher. It should say John Fisher because you're a bald fuck. Big cat will pay for your hair restoration for one appearance on part of my take.

I think that's a fair deal. That's a fair deal.

Because he's bald.

Take it.

Because he's bald, you bald bitch.

You alopecia. No hair having bitch.

How much does that cost? A lot.

Like 50 grand.

Really bald. So probably a lot.

Yeah.

But all that money's tied up and.

His suit wasn't even that good. You own the gas guy.

Do a security deposit.

It's kind of like baggy look like shit.

The collar was bad.

Yeah, the collar was bad.

All time collar color was bad.

That's not just the sound of that.

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Okay. Other things we got to talk about. Stefan Diggs was traded from Buffalo.

Yeah.

I think that this probably something that had to happen.

I would say so.

He was not happy at the end last season. He was not happy during last season or really ever. It feels like.

I think he started not being happy. It was like the playoff loss to the Bengals.

Yeah.

It was like basically an entire year of not being happy.

Yeah.

So he's unhappy. He had to leave town. He's making a bunch of money. So they traded him to the Texans. The Texans gave up a second round pick in next year's draft.

Yup.

But they also took three years off his contract, I believe.

Yup.

So he's going to be a free agent. It's a one year rental.

Maybe.

Maybe it's coming home.

I do love this move for the Texans. I think it's genius move for the Texans. They are basically going all in under CJ Stroud's rookie contract. This is what a team should do. Like, if you're Texans fans, you should be really pumped, especially because CD Shroud's not. Like if. If they were drafting a quarterback. Like, do you really want Stefan Diggs with a rookie quarterback? That feels like a problem because let's just be honest. Stefan Diggs is an awesome football player, but if you get traded twice in your prime, there might be, it might be you, it might be you.

This is also a great business move on Stefan Diggs part, because he's going to get to be a free agent again. He's going to get paid again. And it's good if you're a Texans fan, too, because going to this offseason, you were probably thinking, like, best case scenario, we get maybe t Higgins. Yeah, if he doesn't get tagged, t Higgins gets tagged and you're like, well, fuck. That was kind of the big name that was out there. Now you get a better player than.

T. Higgins, and they have an awesome receiving court. They're all in. I mean, the, I just love that a team is being proactive with the fact that, like, CJ Stroud, outside of Mahomes, is probably the most valuable quarterback in the NFL next year.

The guy that you would want to.

Build around the most, well, not even, not even, like, talent wise, Mahomes is Mahomes because he's like, you can just win with Mahomes no matter what. But I'm saying, like, CJ Stroud, talent plus contract.

Yeah.

Is, is probably number two. If you had to pick a quarterback and all contracts matter, you'd still take Mahomes one, even though he's getting a lot of money. I think he probably takes shroud, too, because you're like, oh, I can build everything else up. And we have three years, four years here where he's not going to get paid this max money.

It also marks a very big change in the, the Houston Texans philosophy. For years, they were great at drafting. They've always drafted great players, but then they trade their players or they let them go. They never really bring in big name outside free agents. This is now like a complete 180 turnaround from what the Texans have done, it feels like, for the last ten years.

Yeah.

So they're actually going out there. They are being proactive. They got mixed net running back, right?

Yep.

Who, I guess that's fine. Yeah, I think he's a pretty good running back. And then you got Nico Collins. Nico Collins. Tank Dell.

Dell and digs a defense that's young and getting better credit to coach Nick Casario.

Good job, Nick.

I'm talking myself into the Texans.

Yeah, well, that's the other thing is now we have, we know who the team is going to be this offseason.

Yeah.

Where it's the trendy pick of a team that they're going to say like, who's your dark horse? The Texans. They shouldn't be a dark horse.

They should be.

They should be a pale horse. They should be like the team that everybody should be focusing. But everyone's going to talk this offseason. Like, my surprise pick for next year is the Houston, Texas.

Yeah.

And now for the bills. Um, the Bills are not better without Stefan Diggs. That's just a fact. Like, they're not a better football team when Stefan Diggs is not on their team. But they had to do something, not only because Stefan Diggs, but they've been in a cap hell where they went all in the last few years. And, you know, even that chief, like the Chiefs have rebuilt on the fly with Mahomes and got younger. The Bills were very old. Roster had to make some tough decisions, had to cut, some players had to trade Stefan Diggs. I know people will get upset about this, but I still think that if you have Josh Allen, you still have a shot. Yeah, I know. And people like this is so stupid, but like, that, they, when you have a franchise quarterback, you have to reset and overturn your roster a couple times over. The Bills should be criticized for going all in with this older team that wasn't able to win a Super bowl, but now this is a reality. They have to, they have to hit their hard reset. They have to make some tough decisions.

They can't miss on the draft. But that's just the reality of it. And even still, if you're a Bills fan, as doom and gloom as it might seem to trade Stefan Diggs, you have Josh Allen. And if you draft well, you'll still have a shot.

Yeah.

So with Josh Allen, he's probably going to be running the ball a lot at the start of next year until he can, like, establish who his receivers are, who he trusts. Maybe Gabe Davis, maybe he plays every game. Like, he.

Not on the Bills.

Not on the Bills anymore.

Fuck.

Okay, so I did know that, but he basically wasn't on the Bills for 75% of the game. Yeah, that's true, too.

Yeah, I think it's, Shakira is their number one right now. Okay, so they, well, they also have, they still have Dalton Kincaid and Dawson Knox.

That's true.

They've got a Samuel and Matt Collins. Curtis Samuel's nice. If you like doing pop passes and reverses and shit like that. They draft 28th, so I don't know if they're going to look to add a wide receiver.

It is deep wide receiver class.

Yeah.

Polk from Washington. He'll be there I don't know.

It's just like, it's one of those. It's a hard reality. It sucks if you're a Bills fan because Stefan Diggs didn't work out, but I think you had to move on because it was not tenable. And now you have to be like, all right, here comes the hard reset. Here comes a couple of years where Josh is going to have to be superhero, and hopefully they're able to nail some draft picks and get a young roster around Josh Allen, who will still play for a long time.

And getting a second round pick next year is not bad.

No.

Like, that's a decent haul.

There's.

There's not very many players outside of quarterbacks that would be worth a first, like, first round pick.

The.

The only issue is they probably waited to a point where it was clear that they needed to get rid of Stefan Diggs. So their hands were tied a little bit. Like, it was clear they had, like, you never want to be in a negotiating spot where everyone's like, oh, they really don't want him on the team anymore.

Maybe.

Maybe a deal that should have been done last year.

Yeah.

One year too late when you still had a Gabe Davis on your team.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe bring Cole bees, Beasley back.

I don't know. I feel like Bills fans understand the reality of it, that, like, you just. This is what happens when you have to pay your all world quarterback.

Yep.

And now you. Now you got to start making some good moves and some cheap moves, and hopefully guys step up.

I'd say it's a. It's a win win for both teams.

I did, too. I just think Stefan Diggs was like.

He was.

Cause, like, we talked about the diva receivers. He's number one right now.

Yeah.

The Instagram king. Instagram complete. There's so many players. I'd never understand why players do this, why they, like, post something extremely inflammatory on social media, on Instagram, on, like, their story, and then they delete it after, like, an hour.

Yeah.

And then they act like it didn't happen.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

I didn't know my phone got hacked.

Yeah.

It was good, though, to see a big NFL trade.

Yeah.

Never happens. Flowing.

Never happened.

They did. They did.

The Bills did sign Lael Collins. So that was nice.

Okay, cool, cool.

Someone to protect. Yeah, cool, cool.

Yeah. Good, good.

But, you know, I'm saying, like, josh is probably over the course of last year, he started to run the ball more, and their offense, they started to win games when they kind of played into those strengths. I think he's going to go back to that at the start of next year, especially if he doesn't have these dynamic downfield receivers.

So it is funny, though, watching some fan bases be like, that's the death of the Bills. I think that it's as long as.

You have, if you have a top five quarterback, right team, you're never dead.

And I think that because Mahomes is so great, everyone behind Mahomes gets diminished to a point where I think a lot of teams would still want Josh Allen.

I want to start keeping track, too. Of all the teams that go all in and still end up losing to Mahomes.

Yeah, it's a thief of joy. He's the joy.

There are going to be so many teams that go all in. They're like, now is our chance.

That's the last.

Mahomes just keeps beating them.

Yeah, that's the last level of greatness. Like, being great is one thing, but then when you get to that last level of greatness, Brady Mahomes, you know, MJ in the nineties where it's like you can actually point and be like, he took at least a couple Super Bowls from this guy.

Yeah.

Like, Peyton Manning would probably have three Super Bowls if it wasn't for Super Bowls. If it wasn't for Tom Brady.

Yeah.

The Niners, they were all in.

Yeah.

Stole their joy. Texans are going to try to go all in. Seems like there's a lot of teams out there. The Ravens, Dolphins. The Ravens have been all in, although.

They lost a lot in free agencies.

Yeah.

They'll go all in again.

Yeah.

They'll figure out a way to go all in.

The Chargers all in.

The Bears are gonna go all in. Do you see Caleb Williams was in Chicago?

Bears are kind of all in. He went out to dinner.

He went out to dinner with some players.

He stopped by the facility, I heard.

Yep.

So be funny if they didn't draft him, if they're like, we didn't like his order.

I mean, I'm gonna paint my nails for draft night. So if he doesn't, if we don't draft him, that's gonna be a problem.

Yeah.

No, you guys are gonna draft him.

It's gonna be a real problem for your boy.

It's gonna go Williams number one. And then, who knows? Now we're in the thick of mock draft season, where people are doing new mock drafts just so that they can have a different quarterback going at number two.

Yeah.

So people will click on it, and then they'll change it again right before the draft.

Are you a little worried about Jayden Daniels elbow? It's.

He's got a freaky fucking elbow.

That thing is weird.

He's got it.

He's got, like, a three inch protrusion on his elbow. My elbow is not fine.

Is elbow important for a quarterback?

No, not the bursitis that he has. So obviously, I did a deep dive on what the fuck is on his elbow?

Because if that.

If I'm going to be rooting for that elbow, I want to know what's going on.

You're going to have to get intimate with that elbow.

I might have to just hit my elbow like you're painting your nails. Yeah, I might just bash my elbow against a.

Take a hammer to your elbow until.

I get a dick that grows out of the arm.

No, you can't. You can't be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

He's fine.

Yeah, everyone says it's fine. It's fine. It's completely normal elbow.

It's fine. It's a fine looking elbow.

It's a good elbow, Hank.

So it's a coincidence that it's his.

Throwing arm if you might end up with Jaden Daniel?

Yeah, it's bursitis.

I'm trying to find out more. I didn't understand, like it seems.

Read a book, Hank.

It's bursitis, dude.

How does one acquire besides by being.

Too good at quarterback and winning a.

High, throwing too much?

But it's not a concern.

By dominating people?

Yeah, you got to get rid of it by throwing less.

What happens if it gets worse?

Oh, wait.

So wait, Hank, so the other quarterbacks in this draft, the one that you're looking at right now, we're looking at Drake May. Do they have bursitis? No, it sounds like they don't throw footballs that much. Jen Daniels has bursitis because he practices so hard. Yeah, that's a guy. I wanted my team back.

Yeah.

I'm not going to bash him. I hope we get him.

So the new money ball is drafting a quarterback with a fucked up elbow that looks like a modern art sculpture.

Mm hmm. Did you guys see Harbaugh strength and conditioning coach who is a badger? Ben Herbert.

Yeah.

See his. His pre or introductory press conference?

No.

Oh, my God. I'll just play one little clip from it because it made me want. I actually think that we should hire a strength and conditioning coach here. Like, I kind of want someone to come and, like, kick my ass, but let me. Let me play this one clip and.

Get back guy that just holds Mincy off from stepping in front of cameras.

Yeah.

All right, here it is.

This is philosophy, stopping them from having conversations in the office.

This fire you up training is that. I don't know if there's two people that view it the same. There are concepts that different people believe in that may match up, but I view training in this way, and this is how I told it to the guys. My first goal is to make you harder to break. Yep, that's it. People often just make you harder to break.

This was also a great quote from. From Harbaugh today. So he said the back is just an untapped gold mine of lean muscle mass.

Ooh, I like that.

I love that, too. It does sound like he's looking at players like he wants to eat them. Like he's evaluating a cut of venison.

Yeah, like, that's.

That's such a goldmine. I'd like to see sink my teeth into that. But his whole point is that if you have a strong back, it supports your neck.

That's what.

And then your neck supports your brain.

Yeah.

Ben Herbert said that we're, like, the first thing I showed them was trap exercises to support their brain. He also talked about emotional, like, intelligence. And I just love. This is the most, like, intense dude ever. Here's what he said. Coach Herb got the juice today. He's feeling good, he's happy, he's excited. Well, then it rains, and I feel a certain type of way. Or, like I told the guys, I have a wife, two boys, two dogs. I have a car with four tires. If I get a flat tire, I'm not going to take it out on you. If something happens, I don't change emotionally when I walk in the facility. Who you know me to be is who I am. Same guy all the time.

All the time, yeah. Doesn't matter if his wife's mad at him.

Yeah.

And just so we're clear, he's got two dogs, two kids, wife, four tires.

Mm hmm.

Right.

The same level.

All those matter. Just the same exact. And he's also tougher than the weather.

Yeah.

He's like, if it rains, I'm not gonna. I don't know anyone who's tougher than the weather. If it's. If it's shitty out, you're. You feel shitty. He's tougher than the weather.

I like that. He's gonna be a force. I can't wait for Harbaugh to just do his press conferences just, we get all Harbaugh NFL content all the time.

Cuz he doesn't have to be as careful too.

He doesn't. I hope he cheats too. I hope he brings some of that extra spy shit to the NFL.

Yeah.

All right. Last thing I had was Tiger woods and having sex.

Isn't that what you'd say if you were having a lot of sex?

Well, at first the headline was like, tiger. What was the actual headline?

Because it looks like from his friend.

It looked like Tiger woods penis actually wrote the story.

So he's focusing on winning the Masters by not having sex.

Tiger woods has eliminated sex while training for the Masters.

But until only recently that golfers have even started having sex. Back in the nineties, golfers were nerds.

Isn't this. But didn't Tiger win when he was having sex? That was when he was Tiger.

Tiger was at his best when his.

When he hurt his back.

Yeah, well, that was also cause he tried to be a Navy SEAL.

But he also got his back blown out.

That too.

But Tiger was winning championships. He was winning majors when his. When, like, the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands.

Perkins waitresses.

The dirtier tiger was, the better he was getting it in the hole.

Now he's gonna not do. Maybe he just can't have sex because he, like, he can't walk.

Maybe there's always, like, before the World cup, there's always one like, brazilian soccer manager that says, like, I've had my guys not having sex for three months now. Yeah, they're ready to go. I feel like I don't know if Tiger. I want Tiger to be competitive, but if he doesn't play well after he spent the entire, like, month not having sex, he's gonna have so much sex.

Yeah.

Next. Masters eliminating sex.

So it just feels like the wrong thing for Tiger to do. He needs to. He needs to be having sex. I had the tiger.

I want my tiger fucking.

Yeah. I want him just loose.

Yeah.

And the more he fucks, the more Charlie woods as we have.

Who's next up? Next up, next up. All right, do we have anything else before we talk? Maybe little picks on final four? Any other. Any other stories going around?

Congrats to the Celtics for winning the Eastern Conference that officially happened now that the Knicks have.

Yeah, we clinch the best record in the NBA.

Nice. Yeah.

Julius Randall not going to play anymore this year. So I think they were about 50. They were about 500 with him out of the lineup. But people were saying if he comes back, they could be the ones that could threaten the Celtics in the east.

So who is this exactly?

Julius Randall? Maybe also just was like, I don't want to. Like, last year went so bad. Yeah, maybe I just don't want to deal with this.

Yeah, there's just nobody in the east at all. Am I. Am I somebody getting back?

Oh, somebody else came back.

What do you think about Joel Embiid wearing sketchers? Max, who cares?

Are sneakers.

Oh, okay. All right.

You want your guy wearing the best gear.

I want my guy well supported from whatever company will support him.

The best.

Okay.

Skechers just doesn't seem like that's a skateboarding brand.

No.

Yeah, you can think that.

I will.

You can think that. Yeah.

You're entitled to your own opinion. He came back. Sixers without Maxi beat the thunder. They were just Alexander. But Sixers are back.

Okay. By the way, Max, I forgot to say congratulations to the Villanova women for finishing third in the second.

No. WBIT.

WB. So what? It actually doesn't count as a real second, because it was not even the second tournament.

That is, we had a debate. There's a wnit and a wbit is. Yes, we do. The wbit is better.

So in the second place turn.

Yes.

You finished second in the second place tournament.

Correct.

Wow.

Like, this is what.

Yes.

You're just a walk. Yeah, you're just. It's kind of like when you buy a car, and then all of a sudden you see your car everywhere. You're like, oh, man, I didn't know how many people had this car. As soon as Max finished second once, we just started noticing. It's like he finishes second everywhere.

All the time.

Everywhere.

But that.

Anywhere you look, he's finishing second.

That's about example. Because when you buy a car and you notice that car everywhere, it's not like there's a ton of those cars.

We.

It's just that you notice some more. It's like the. Whatever kind of bias that is with Max, it really just opened our eyes to it.

Yeah.

And then people were all like, the little League video I. We put out the other day. I finished second in that.

Oh, no. I didn't know.

So people were reminding me of that the other day.

Yeah.

Oh, Dave and Buster's commercial.

We did finish second.

Yeah.

Science fair finished second.

Hey, memes, do we have excited for that second? Do we have an update on Mister Pear? People want the mister. We want Mister Pear bad. Yeah, I'm gonna try to get it next week.

Okay.

They're get him. Mister pair. Not it. I'm either getting a tortoise that we're just gonna call a turtle.

Here's what I'm worried about with the tortoise, though, memes. I'm told that tortoises can live, like, 2030 years.

Yeah.

I would feel bad if a turtle tortoise, excuse me, died after, like, six months, if its lifespan was supposed to be 30.

That was my number one worry about this from the start.

Yeah.

Now, if it's just a turtle and it does bad, we'll rip that shit up. Like, what was the turtle that was at Florida State? Turtle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll tear that turtle in half if he stinks.

Turtle got ripped in half by. What was it?

Aguayo.

Aguayo brothers.

Yeah, yeah.

One of the aguiles. So you're gonna get it next week?

I'm gonna try to get it next.

Week, maybe make a mess. That means we're not gonna get it next week, but, yeah. Wait, so you're gonna get a tortoise, or what's the other option? I was speaking to a zookeeper. He said, get a box turtle. They're easier to take care of. And will he. Will a box turtle actually make pics for us? Think so. Eats pears. It does eat pear.

That's good.

Mister Pear. Oh, Mister Pear. Mister Pear.

We could just make the longest videos of him, like, walking around the studio.

Yeah.

Where are you going?

Mister Pear.

He's gonna be a superstar.

Yeah.

I just love the idea of us just doing the entire weekend preview, and Mister Pears, like, oh, he just made his second pick after 45 minutes. That's what we should do, too, with Mister Pears. We shouldn't. We shouldn't be like, Mister Pear has to do five pick. Mister Pear should just get to do as many picks as he can do.

Uh huh. You know what I mean?

Let's not put so much pressure on Mister.

Maybe he just likes one game.

Yeah, we'll just give him the option.

Yeah.

We.

Mister Pears game of the week.

Yeah.

Mister Pear. Oh, and what are we gonna put? We're gonna put pears out for him to eat or remotes, I think pairs. Okay.

No chewing gum, Mister Pear.

No.

Okay, wait for Mister pair. All right, let's. Let's do some pics for final four. So, Uber eats, when turning into. When tuning into every final four game all weekend long, turn to Uber Eats all for all your delivery needs. Uber Eats is more than just food from your favorite restaurant. I'm talking groceries, convenience items, and alcohol. Whether you need dog treats, chips and dip, paper towels or beer. Or maybe all four Uber eats can deliver almost almost anything. Get grocery alcohol and everyday essentials in addition to the restaurant food you love. So in other words, get almost almost anything with Uber Eats. Order now for alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region C app for details. What are we guys feeling? What are we guys feeling?

I love. I love Uconn.

I already.

I. There.

There will be no bet on that game for me because I have UConn.

And I want so much. I want to elect to abstain from. From betting on Purdue. NC State.

Mmm.

I'll put it that way.

The DJ burns shirts we just put on sale are so fire that I have to bet NC state moneyline. I have no choice.

You know what?

Fuck.

And rooting for Purdue is just so.

So.

It's so fun to root against them. I just have to do it.

So the reason why I wanted to abstain, look at these. Because I am so convinced that Zack Ed is just going to have his way with NC State. But I'm also very stupid. So since I'm so sure that Purdue is going to dominate, I should just bet on NC State.

Yeah.

I just don't know how you can't, like, if you're impartial, if you don't have a team or bet on these. This final four, the answer has to be NC state. Like, you have to. And I. They're perfect because the 83 title run is so similar to this run where you're like, maybe it just is destined. Yeah, maybe this is just what's going to happen, and they're going to shock the world and this is going to be the craziest three week, four week run in history.

That's what I said before the Duke emerging. Are you a little worried if NC state wins, that they're.

No, you can't smash them, but smash them.

They can be purdue.

I am a little worried about Alabama, though, because Alabama could just go nuclear from three.

You want to bet in that game?

What? Alabama Batman money line. Oh, of course he is.

No, not you can. To win by one to two.

Oh.

Oh.

Exactly.

Just for chaos.

Crazy.

That would.

We're going.

We're gonna be with. With Dave and big cat who have huge, huge futures bets on Yukon Rico. Diehard Alabama fan. That would be the best content if it ended up with that scenario. Yeah, because if it's a blowout, it would. It would lose its luster. But if it's close to the end, be it be quite a. Quite a scene.

I am enjoying watching Alabama fans, like, game plan for this game. And I saw one guy was like, they're like, we got to just force the ball to cling in and Caravan and let Caravan shoot threes. Caravan's shooting 40% from three.

Yeah.

Force the ball to 40% to two. Great players.

Yeah.

Like, they have just great players everywhere. And I don't really know what the answer is to UConn other than the stretch. Sleeping schedule is fucked up.

The strategy in this game for Alabama is just be Alabama and then hope you have the best Alabama night that you can. If they do play their best basketball, they definitely can win this game.

Shoot 60% from three.

Yeah.

Like, that's the thing is I'm not, I don't give, I'm not saying that Alabama has zero chance. They definitely have a chance because of the style they play. If they hit all their threes, anyone could lose to them on any night. But UConn is just a kind of a. There's levels and they're just at a different level right now. If they come out and play, like, UConn would have to play, what, a c minus game to give Alabama chance. Like, if I think about if UConn plays a b game, they beat everyone.

Yeah.

I'm going to take Connecticut minus eleven and a half, and then I'm going to take NC State moneyline and we'll let the chips fall where they may.

I. I want to just shout out the women's game, too, real quick. I kind of like UConn on Sunday.

Okay.

I scouted. I scouted that UConn USC game. They had a very good plan for juju Watkins. I think they'll have a very good plan for Caitlin Clark. Let everyone else beat them except Kate and Clark.

So.

Yeah, I think that's. I think that's what my plan is for Sunday.

I think that.

That the powers that be, or, no, Friday. That's Friday. Sorry, that's Friday. Sunday is the championship game.

I think the powers that be really want Caitlin Clark South Carolina championship.

Yeah.

They really want that star player against a perfect team that would. Ratings higher or lower than what then? LSU Iowa. Lower in that championship game?

Yeah.

You think so?

Yeah, I just think LSU, I always can always have the highest ratings of the tournament just because of last year.

It was the highest rated women's college basketball game ever, I think. Highest rated women's game ever. Yeah.

ABC.

Yeah, that's true.

I think it'd be higher noon. I think. I think Clark against undefeated USC would be higher.

Yeah. You mean. Yeah. Yep.

And they got, what, twelve point, what, 4,000,012.4 million?

Something like that.

Yeah.

And we're still only watched a half.

The funniest was whenever everybody was talking about the. The LSU Iowa game. And then Racillo tweeted something out about, like, some NBA player not getting rebounds.

He gets people so angry.

I like.

Because it breaks up the timeline.

Yeah.

And he gets. He does that every now and then where there'll be, like, a big football game and. And he'll just randomly tweet, like, yeah, blue jays. Like. Like, manoa shouldn't have left that one hanging.

Nah.

People should be able to tweet about.

What they want to tweet about during that game. And every comment was like, read the room.

It's.

Everyone's talking about.

Agreed. We're defending Racil. He just makes everyone so mad.

I know.

Like, he had. He makes people so mad. It's like. Like what you like. Who cares? But he only watched half.

Yeah.

Who scored 50 points in the NBA yesterday? Was it Malachi?

Yeah.

Malachi Flynn.

Malachi Flynn scored fit. That might be the. The moment where we all realize, like, scoring is. Is out of control in the NBA right now.

Scoring is pretty crazy. It is. Congratulations, Hank.

You. You feel.

You were saying before that there's a 0% chance you don't make it to the finals?

I don't know that I said 0% chance, but it would be. It would be heartbreaking if they don't. Big cap put a future on the Nuggets. And I was like, that's a little.

Well, no, I won't stiffer. Hold on. I put a future on Scottie Scheffler in the Nuggets, so it might not even be a thing.

Yeah, it was.

I put on Brooks in the Celtics. It was me.

I also put a future on Brooks, but they was a Scottie Scheffler and Nuggets. I put. You left that part out. You left that part out.

So he's not even gonna be rooting for the Nuggets unless Scotty wins.

Correct. But I don't want Scotty to win. I want someone else to win. But I think Scotty's playing so well that he's going to win. But I don't want him to win.

I'm only.

That makes sense.

Yeah, but you could have just done Scottie and Celtics.

Why?

Everything you've done, he doesn't think the.

Celtics and everything you've done. No, I think they absolutely could win. But you want you, like, done to me.

Let's get a reason to root against the Celtics. Boom.

Got it.

Oh, my God.

I got Uconn. This is why nuggets. Why I should have seen one formatted mvp fucking baby. So I. Fair warning, Hank. But again, I am a longtime Nuggets podcast.

Is.

That's fun.

He's a nugs guy.

Been through before. I'll go through it again.

We can say, Max, I'll be rooting.

Against the Celtics for sure. I won't feel bad about it, and I want your pain, like, bad.

Taste it on your lips.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm not pretending.

You're not fake. You're not fake.

You're a real one.

I mean, this is. This is setting up for Hank to defeat Max.

Wait, how am I fake for not betting on your team?

No, you just like to be like, oh, it's a coincidence. I bet on the Nuggets.

No, I think they're gonna win the. Why would I bet on something I don't think is gonna happen?

How do you solve the Yokich riddle?

Yeah. What? I think that's going to happen. So that's what I bet.

That's fine.

Let's go. What?

You want me to it? I'm looking forward to it.

I don't know how that's. That's what I think is gonna happen. You do that all the time.

I also don't think you're looking forward to it. I think you're scared of the Nuggets.

No, nuggets are good. The Nuggets will be. Nuggets will be a worthy test if the Celtics can make it that far, and the Nuggets do as well. But I'm super excited. I think it's. What is April 22. Playoff start. Can't wait.

Yeah. Mm hmm. Very excited.

Don't sleep on the Sixers.

Sixers.

No.

Sleep on the heat.

Maybe not.

Yeah, maybe not.

Also be at the Sixers game next week.

Oh, yeah.

What are you doing?

If we'll talk about that next week.

Okay.

I was.

I was thinking about setting it up as my fire fest, but, yeah, next week.

All right, well, let's talk more NBA. We got Alex Crusoe on the show in studio. Awesome interview. It's brought to you by our friends, of course.

Light.

Oh, do you have the chill calendar? From day to day annoyances to the big stuff life throws your way, it's easy to get worked up, but there's a better way. A chill away. Turn that canceled concert into a parking lot dance party. Too cold for an ocean swim. Play volleyball and light a bonfire instead. That's choosing chill. When you choose chill, reach for a Coors light. When the mountains turn blue, it's as cold as the Rockies. When you choose to rise above it all, choose chill. Choose Coors. Like, get Coors light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to coorslight.com. Take celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado what day do we have?

13.

All right.

Lucky 13.

And he nailed it.

So easy.

He nailed it.

Look at this.

It's day 13. You could probably use some exercise by now. Hoop it up from the comfort of your bar stool. Work off bracket. Induce stress. Regain confidence. Because nothing makes you feel like a big man more than a two foot hoop. Got a little mini basketball hoop here with a ball.

That's sick. Love it. Coors light. Best beer out there. Choose Coors light. Choose chill. Get Coors light delivered straight to your door at the instacart by going to Coors light.com. Take celebrate responsibly. Coors brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Okay, here he is, Alex Crusoe. Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest. Long time coming. It is the man, the myth legend, Alex Crusoe. Chicago Bull. Should we do the hard part first?

Yeah, sure.

Okay. Cuz I was gonna say NBA champion, but we don't think that. Yeah, we don't recognize. Let's just do the hard part first. Let's just get out of the way. Bubble championship didn't count.

Labubble.

How do you do? What do you say to that?

Guys still play the games. Gotta still show up and win the game. So, I mean, there's something to play for, you know, like the NCAA tournament.

Yeah.

I mean, happened.

I'll say this.

It did happen.

It's a. What's.

What's. What's the argument for the.

The argument is that LeBron Braun won a championship.

And so.

Okay, so actually, we're fine with letting you my.

Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Yes.

He's got a couple that, you know.

Yeah.

Real. So the fake one.

Three.

Also, are you the first Italian American all defensive player in the NBA? Is that what we declared last year?

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think. I don't think the other white guy that was a guard that made all defense was italian. So I think that has to be.

It has to be you.

Yeah.

So wait, so talking about the bubble championship, because obviously we're joking, but not really because we don't really count it for LeBron. Do you think back and you're like, man, I kind of wish that we had won that in like, regular setting because it feels. Felt a little different, I would say.

Just for the, just for, like the, like, all the extra stuff that comes with it.

Right.

You know, like being able to celebrate with fans afterwards, being able to have a parade, having the energy of like the final second countdown, you know, like, yeah. Like, it would have been different having, yeah, 16,000 people. It's in the arena regardless of home or away, just.

Yeah.

To have that kind of atmosphere, I.

Mean, it still is, like, incredible that you guys did it because it was very hard circumstances.

Oh, yeah. Three, three and a half months, basically a summer, and then you come back and just start playing again.

Yeah. Yes.

Were you, were you ever at any point being like, I really just want to go home, I'm sick of living in Disney world?

Yes.

But no, you know, like, it was kind of like, I've seen, like multiple takes, right. There's like both sides of the spectrum. Some people, like, it's the hardest thing ever. And then some people are just like, yeah. Like, it was, you know, a hotel and we stayed there. I don't have kids, you know, at the time, I wasn't in a relationship, so, like, for me it was like college again. Like, I was just like, going to practice. I would go play golf. I go back, get some food, play Call of Duty and then wake up and go play basketball the next day. Like, for me it was like, this is not, not terrible.

Good life.

Yeah.

Like, I think people would. Some people would, would take playing Call of Duty golf and then going to play in NBA playoffs. The people would like that, but, yeah.

What was the vibe like in there? Like, were you guys hanging out with other teams or did you guys mostly just keep to yourself?

No. Yeah, it was like, it was like clicks. Like, everyone was with their own team. Some people, like, turned their meeting rooms into, like, players lounges. Like had ping pong tables and stuff. But for the most part, we were a pretty close group all year. Like, we, we hung out, you know, one through 15 on the roster. So it was easy for us to hang out once we got there.

Yeah.

Were you allowed to buy coffee from Jimmy Butler or was that just for his teammates?

I don't know. That's a good question. I never tried. I didn't. I'm a little bit of a coffee drinker now, but this has really come on in the last, like, year.

Good.

Yeah.

No, I'm always, like, to just take a shower and go, yeah.

Kind of guy.

But recently, coffee? I don't know. I don't think he would have sold it to us.

You would have poisoned it, probably.

Yeah.

He would have done something to it. He would have, like, put some eye drops, the little.

Yeah.

Dumb and.

Yeah.

Easier question. Do you think the Suns would have let you hang out with them?

No, probably not. Still.

Yeah.

Would you have wanted to hang out with the sun?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm pumped that you're here. Like I said, it'd been a long time coming. Got a million questions. But I. I was just going back through, like, your career, and it's incredible, like, seeing that you, you know, four years of college and then the G League and then getting to a point where you sign a huge deal, win a championship, sign a huge deal, become, like, a very impactful part of, like, an NBA roster. Was there any part of, like, that journey where you're like, fuck. I was pretty close to, like, not making it to where I wanted to do because not a lot of guys do that journey, you know? I mean, a lot of guys are on that same path.

Yeah. I don't know if there was any point in time where I was like, oh, man. Like, this might be it, but at the same time, like, that's kind of what kept me, you know, on my p's and Q's and, like, on, like, top of my game to, like, make sure that when I got the opportunity, I took advantage of it, because I was like, all right, if I don't play good, like, I'm done.

Right.

You know? If I don't play in the G league, I'm not gonna be able to get to an NBA team. If I don't play good in college, I'm not gonna be able to go to the G league, so. Or professional. So it was always kind of like I was. I was almost like a. Like a racehorse. Like, I had blinders on. But at the same time, like, understood, you know, what. What the stakes were.

Yeah.

I was playing.

Yeah.

Is it like that still now where it's like, you. You have in the back your mind, if I don't work hard enough, this all could be over?

Yeah.

I mean, that's. That's. That's probably the cool thing about, is, like, at first, it was like, all right, I got to work hard, and I got to play my ass off so I can get into the league or get into this spot. To get into the league. And then, you know, like you said, like, now I've kind of established myself and it's to the point to where, like, I'm a coveted asset and it's, it's now the point to where it's like, alright, that's the standard I have for myself. Like, I can't drop below that, you know, and water down, you know, everything that I've worked for or, you know, throw away the, the work that I've put in. I just, I just really enjoy being competitive with myself and that's kind of like the best part about it. Like, I'm just constantly chasing, what, what.

Was the moment where you're like, oh, shit. I am a coveted aspect because it's crazy that not only did you obviously sign a great contract, but when you left the Lakers, I feel like Lakers fans were so upset.

Yeah, you were not.

Yeah.

They're like, I tweeted the other day, I blew out a pair of shoes in a game against the Timberwolves a couple days ago. Even, even, just not even that tweet. But, like, I'll tweet something and at least two to ten responses will always be like, come back to LA. Like, can't wait to see in a Lakers uniform next year. Like they, they're either just like, drinking the Kool Aid or they just really are trying to convince me to come back. Every time I post something, they respond.

That's got to feel good, though, to be loved.

Yeah, no, that's cool. I mean, because like you said, there's a time where, you know, people didn't know who I was at all. And then, you know, we're to the point now where he's talked about being an asset probably just over the last couple years.

Yeah.

Once I signed the contract in Chicago, that was kind of like, all right, cool. Like, this one team really believes in me and that was, that was a, that was a big step for me just to be able to, like, like you said, keep taking another step, keep chasing something. And then the last couple years, you know, every year at the trade deadline, there's rumors of, you know, yeah, one to two to ten teams that are interested in me. So I know some type of, yeah. And I know there's some type of, like you said, want for me to be on their team. And I think that, I mean, that's, that's the goal. You know, that's, that's leverage, that's power in the league is, you know, being able to say that multiple teams want, you on their team.

Yeah.

That's a double sided coin because you, yeah, you're wanted. But then also every time there's a trade deadline you're like am I going to have to move again?

You know?

Yeah, was. Well that, you know, knock on wood. I've never been involved in a trade. Really been a part of one. We didn't have one I don't think in la maybe besides picking up, you know, some free agents and haven't had one really in Chicago. So I don't know about the whole, the whole moving thing but there is, you know, this year we were at home I think last or no, no, this year we were in Memphis. I was on the road the last two trade deadlines and it's like I'm getting ready. Like we have a, we have a game both days. I'm like getting ready to lay down for my nap at like 1230 or one and it's like deadlines at three. Is it? I'm just. Alright, text my agent like hey, I'm just gonna leave my phone on loud. Like if you need me just call me. Yeah, but I'm gonna go take a nap. Like I gotta take a nap so I can get ready for the game tonight.

But it is nice to be wanted. How does that work for most players when they get traded? I know you haven't been traded but from what you know, do you, do you get a call from your agent first or do you get. Do you have woj notifications on.

I don't have notifications but I do follow Woj.

Are you shams or wojc guy?

I think, I think I'm woes but like I don't think I have a side. I think it's just that Woj was the first one I knew about.

Right.

So I think that's where the loyalty kind of lies. Yeah, but I mean, you know, it's a, it's a time game. Like shant shams. Eventually.

Yeah.

Just the years is gonna have to take over.

Yeah.

I just wonder if most players find out the right way or if they find.

Yeah, I, I don't think most do. Would, I would, I would be willing to bet that most find out, you know, through their agent or through, you know, you've heard social media like nightmares where like they see someone tweet that they've gotten traded or they something crazy like that. I don't think most of the time.

Yeah.

I just, you don't hear about it so maybe, maybe that's the thing is like when it happens, right? People just don't talk about it. Yeah, but, like, you always hear about the ones where it's like, the agent calls, he's like, hey, they just traded you. Or like, dude finds out on Twitter or one of their family members texts them. And that's probably not a good feeling.

And I also, I, at least from my perspective, I always like, obviously being on an NBA team, so different than everyone else's work. Like, day to day where you can't just walk up to AK and be like, hey, you thinking about trading me? Yeah, I would assume.

Right.

I don't think that dynamic day.

Yeah, right.

Like, he's not someone you could just be like, hey, can I just get a few minutes with you? Just wanting. Wondering what your plan is.

Hey, when you have a few.

Put you on my calendar.

Real.

Yeah, no, I don't think. Yeah, that's probably not the way. At least not that I've seen to go about it.

Yeah, that's.

I mean, that comes with the territory. You know, we make a lot of money to play children's game. You know, at the end of the day, it is what it is.

Yeah.

Do you remember the moment when you knew that LeBron trusted you?

Ooh, good question.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now you say thank you to me.

I know I was repeating after you because I would say, honestly, it's probably earlier than then. Maybe even he realized, or people realize. It was when I was on two way, my last year in LA, his first year, and they were. It was before they, year before they d trade. So, like, I was playing with him and a couple of other two ways and guys, you know, middle end of the bench because I don't think we were making the playoffs and it was before playing and we're playing at Toronto and I'm running a pick and roll with him on the side and they like, this is when I figured out that, oh, when I'm playing with him, people are just going to pay attention to him and I can just go shoot layups.

Yeah.

And I just go straight downhill and shoot the layup. And one.

Nice. And one.

Yeah, and one. And he comes over to me and he's like talking very intently and directly. And it was the first time, like within a game where I like, it was just like, oh, we're on the same team playing basketball. It's not like, oh, that's LeBron. I'm Alex, and we're just happened to be here. It was like he's talking to me like, teammate, like, hey, we got figures out to try and win this game, right? Yeah, yeah. Like Piers and, yeah, that was, that was probably the first time, looking back on it, where I was just like, okay, like, this guy's competitive. Like, that's what I do. This is gonna be, this is gonna be a good thing.

It's gotta be a good feeling to that. Did that like unlock something in you where you're like, oh, shit, LeBron believes me. Maybe. Maybe I believe in me too.

Yeah.

I think it freed me up just to know that, like, the stuff that I see on the court, he's also seeing if obviously, and then another level to that. But like, it, my instincts kicked in. Like, I was able to just kind of play free and play off my instincts and then from there learn what to do, what not to do. You know what I can get away with how I can be useful when playing with him. And from there I just, I'm a learner. So, like, the more opportunity, the more reps I get. Like, I use that, store it up here and then just take it to the next game.

Yeah.

Has Austin Reeves ever hit you up being like, how do I get LeBron to like me?

No, no, he hasn't. We do, we talked once. We need to try. He wants to try and play golf and I would love to play golf. I heard he's pretty good.

Yeah.

No, he has not hit me up for LeBron relationship advice.

Yeah, I mean, it is, it is crazy to think about that team too. I mean, I would assume Anthony Davis is one of those guys who I feel like gets forgotten at times of like, how dominant he is. When you would even practice with him, were you like, fuck, this is like when he controls the defense.

Yeah, I mean, the year we won the championship, we literally just, like, if he switched on to somebody, you just face guarded your guy and get ready to box out because, like, we're not helping him.

Right.

Don't need to help him. Like, if you try to take it to the rim, he's gonna block it.

Yeah.

Or he's, you're gonna throw it so far up, like, you know, you're gonna clank it off trying to, trying to get around him. And then, I mean, he's 610, 611, seven something, wingspan. Like, he's guarding guys with lengths, moving his feet on the perimeter. Like, literally when he, when people switched onto him late in the clock, we just, alright, find your guy. Like, we're going to get the ball back here.

Yeah.

And then for me, you know, I just pressure the hell out of everybody, send him into the rim when you got Dwight Gevale and then you got Anthony Davis, you know, two of the three of them are always on the court together.

Like, feed him that way.

Pretty easy for me. Yeah. Like, yeah, he was, he was a monster. He should have won DPO.

Why?

That year, I think they gave it to Giannis and he gave him mvp, too. But, like, literally, that was, that was, that was our defense.

Yeah.

We'd just be super aggressive, and then when ad got on somebody, it's like, just let him guard him.

Yeah.

When he, when he's on, it's just the whole, the whole defense just looks, like, unstoppable.

Yeah, I mean, well, that literally, what I told you, like, when he's on, you don't have to play defense anymore.

Yeah.

He's just going to do it.

Who, who have you pissed off the most by, like, being in their face defensively? Because you are a bulldog.

Yeah, no, I have to be.

Yeah.

I mean, you're all up in everyone's face.

I think that's the fun thing for me, too, is, like, people always get pissed off and, like, they think that I'm fouling and, like, everyone, you know, everyone's best two players in the league thinks that everyone fouls.

Right.

That's just how it goes. But it's just funny to me because I just have, like, no emotion attached to it, and they're just, you know, if they get mad, it's. It's almost amusing for me because I'm like, yeah, contact sport. What do you want me to do? Yeah, we're playing a sport, and I'll let you score.

Yeah.

I don't know if any one person comes to mind.

Is it like, though? Is it in the calendar year? Can you tell? Like, I've always thought, like, you know, February is that time when it cut, you have a lull, and guys are maybe looking for the all star break. There'll be games in February where some be like, dude, can you stop? You stop doing this?

Not, not directly, dude. I don't know. I mean, I can tell, though, you know, like, like, when I'm picking them up and they don't usually complain to me. They'll complain to the refs.

Yeah.

You know, like, I'll, I'll be super physical getting over screen, and then, like, I'm just trying super hard, like, getting deflection and, like, obviously, yeah, I'm trying to be all defense again, and I'm trying to make sure that I'm, like, creating more value for myself in the league. I'm not gonna just keep letting you score, right? Do things, and. And then they start, like, you know, they get mad. They get pissed off and start yelling at the ref or like that. That's when. That's when you know, you got them.

That's gonna feel, like the best feeling.

Yeah, that's the best.

Yeah.

Then you can kind of, like, you can kind of troll them in the moment, too. You know, like, you do the indirect, like, really aggressive clap or, like, you know, yell at the crowd. Right. With them next to you. That's when you can kind of, like, get under their skin.

Have you ever stopped before?

No, not without being, like. Not without being a troll, I don't think, in a game. I hate that.

Yes.

That's a dude. The five in unison.

Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. Speaking of college, though, you had a great career. Texas A and M. You went to the sweet 16 your senior year. Are you still, like. Do you still watch college ball, like, in a fan?

I watch a and m, yeah. Yeah, no, I can't watch. I can't watch too much college basketball.

Why?

It's just.

It's.

It's slow.

Yeah.

You know, it's a little too methodical, and it's just. I mean, once you played, like, night and night out, I'm playing. It's the best players in the world. Like, the talent level there is just so different. Like, the skill level in college varies. Yeah. You know, the good teams, you know, have a couple players that are really elite, that are going to be pros, but, you know, at the same time, it's. It's hard to watch. But, yeah, I'm still. I'm still, you know, Maroon Kool aid.

Yeah.

A and M, through and through.

They're buzz guys.

Yeah, we love buzz. Buzz is a good guy's our guy.

So, are there times when you're watching a college game and you're just frustrated being, like, all these wide open shots are not going in? Because that is when you watch the.

Shots, like, you know, like NBA guys. Like, you'll miss some open shots every now and then. Like, that's rarely.

Yeah.

I mean, it is. It is more rare, but it's. It's more just like, the basic understanding of basketball.

Yeah.

You know, like, understanding how to play, being able to make certain passes that should just be, like, elementary, that they, like, mess up, missing layups and stuff. Like, that's the stuff that, like, open layups. Like, wide open ones. Yeah, that's the stuff where just like.

How awesome was it, though, to play in the tournament, get to the sweet 16? Because, I mean, I love it.

Sweet.

Well, you remember. You remember our game against northern Iowa, the comeback, right? I mean, I get reminded of that by people just as much as, you know, winning the championship in LA. Like, random people will stop me. Like, oh, dude, I loved you. Da da. And then you. That game in college, we had to come back and I'm like, yep, we did. Like, it was, you know, crazy. And then we went to sweet 16, got smacked by Oklahoma. But that comeback was awesome.

Yeah, but it was also. That was the buddy healed year, right? So that was smacked. So you act even more because Villanova beat Oklahoma by, like, a thousand.

Yeah, that was. That was a weird year in college basketball, too, because there was, like. It was just so up and down. Like, we got up to number five in the country at one point that year, and then we lost, like, four in a row.

Yeah.

And it was. We beat every big twelve team. We played, like, four or five big twelve teams, but went, like, a couple games over 500 against everybody else, and that might have been the year before.

So. Texas A and M, you're from right around there.

From college.

Yeah. So you've never had a chance to be outside the culture?

No.

I mean, I've seen other stuff.

Yeah.

But, like, do you understand how weird it is?

Yeah, no, I do. I get it. I think. I think once I left college station, I was like. Because obviously, I'm still, like, that's the only team I really root for. Like, I have a professional sports team that I love outside of Premier League soccer. Oh, Manchester City.

Oh, your front runner.

Front runner, yeah.

Big front Ben fan for twelve years.

Oh.

What, when they, you know, won twelve years ago and won again?

Your championship merchant.

Yeah, that's fine. We can go with that. And once I left and went to LA, I was like, okay, I get it. Like, everyone is really aggressively pro a and M. Pro or anti a and m? Yeah, all right, that's fine. Like, we can go with that. Like, I will. I will admit to being able to recognize that it doesn't lower my level of fandom and love or appreciation.

But since you're from college Station and you never thought that it was weird, the whole yell eater thing, that was always normal to you.

Yeah, I don't. I don't. I still don't think it's weird.

But this is a cult.

The midnight yell is not weird.

What about when they, like, grab each other by the. By the cock and they like, no.

It'S not the cock.

It's.

It's the waist or the. It's the shoulder.

I went to the store and old.

Ned said, no, the. I mean, the. The midnight yell is just a pep rally.

That's.

Yeah, I guess in the same way that Jonestown was a pep rally, there's.

No drinks being passed around.

Yeah, it's strange. Are you. Are you allowed in college station?

Yeah. Okay, there you go. Here we go.

I mean, you are.

I really. Okay, so on the drive over here, I was thinking that somebody was gonna show up with the t shirt of my picture on it.

Yeah.

In the back of my mind, I was like, they won't do that. Like.

But no, I did.

It was cool. It made you cool.

It's literally like the best.

It was 90% positive p. Yeah.

Here's the best crime to get busted for.

You're the last person in America, I think, to get arrested for weed.

Yeah.

At least in Texas.

Yeah, yeah, it was just a grinder, right?

I am a trendsetter, you know, I pioneer.

Yeah.

I'm saving so many 18 to 21.

Yeah.

Two year olds from getting arrested.

That's facts.

Was.

It was just a grinder, right?

Yeah.

That's crazy. Yeah, that's like. Cuz I remember when it happened, I was like, wait, what? What? That's what it.

Yeah, dude, it was happening too. I was just like more annoyed than anything. Cuz I'm like, this is. Well, why I had to make sure because right before I was free agent, I was like, I hope this doesn't mess up, you know, anything with me. Sign a contract. Didn't nobody in the league care.

Right.

We know why.

Yeah, yeah.

And then while I was happening, it was just since since the airport is on, technically it's on Texas amp campus. It was campus police that came out.

They didn't give you what you did not.

It was too young. Like, up and comers, they were trying.

Yeah, dude, remember northern Iowa?

Fresh stashes. You know, they was one of those wanted their big. Northern Iowa.

Yeah.

1212 points and 44 seconds. That anything to you that would rock.

It might have let you go.

Yeah, that actually would have been it.

Like, they would be like, we're football fans.

The only time a do you know who I am would work is like, you think?

44 seconds, you think?

Yes, it was. It was kind of funny because at the time, me and big cat's reaction was the same, which was like, why?

Why are they getting.

Yeah, we were free Alex Crusoe.

And then there was a. It just always makes me think back to the Laramie Tunsil draft in the NFL.

Oh, yeah.

We're like four teams. Five teams passed on the.

That was the night of the draft.

It was like, minutes before the draft started.

Yeah.

And teams panicked and they're like, this guy smokes weed. He can't play in the NFL.

What year was that? That was like 20.

2016.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That would've been, like, the second month of part of my take. Yeah, the gas mask.

That was crazy.

So, Alex. I actually. I own a piece of Alex Caruso history. I'm not sure if you're familiar with this.

I don't know if I am.

He has the grinder. You remember I would buy the Revelle probably does. Revelle probably bumps.

You think so?

Yeah, I own.

I own an NBA top shot.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

The only one that I bought was your chase down block against James Harden.

Yeah, I've seen. There's quite a few of those, aren't there?

I don't know how many there are. No, they're very rare.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, super rare.

You know, it'd be even rare if you were to autograph my NBA top shot for me. And then I could try to sell that.

Can you do that?

I'll print out, like, a still frame.

Okay.

Have you sign it.

Okay. Yeah.

But do you remember that block?

I do, I do. I turned it over right before that.

Oh, so you were making up for your mistake.

Yeah, yeah. Classic Alex Caruso move.

It was a great block.

There was. It was. It was.

Yeah.

So I'm watching it right now, and there's. It's. It's in the bubble, and you can see the. The videos of the fans in the stands behind you.

Okay.

How weird was that?

Yeah, that was. It was. It was weird until the game started. Once the game started, you didn't really notice it. It was almost just like. You know how there's, like, the ribbon board in the NBA NBA arenas?

Yeah.

It's just kind of, like, there, but pregame and, like, warm ups, you're, like, looking and there's, like, people's faces and these fishbowls just, like, staring at you. It wasn't normal. It wasn't normal. But, like, once the game started, I think it was pretty normal.

Yeah. Yeah.

I also pretty sure little Wayne was in one of them for somebody, too.

Yeah, I think I was in one for the heat. I think I chugged a beer.

Hell, yeah.

Might have been in the Eastern Conference in my, like, don't let this guy back on. Don't let him in the zoom again. Caruso is being brought to you by our great friends over at Topgolf. It's golf. It's not golf, it's topgolf. If you've never heard of them, they have all the stuff to make them legit golf. They've got balls, clubs, turf, even a ball picker upper car thing. But they're very much not golf, too. We're talking loud music, giant targets, climate controlled bays, and unbeatable food and drinks day or night. There are a lot of big sports moments coming up soon, so if you want to catch the games as you play, Topgolf is the place. Since they want everyone to play, they just launch half off golf Monday through Wednesday when you book in their app. All you have to do is book a Monday through Wednesday in their app and you'll get half off the golf. Of course, even they have some rules. Half off golf Monday through Wednesday applies to gameplay only, isn't offered at the Vegas venue, and it's only available when you book in the app. For full details on this offer, visit topgolf.com PMT for a limited time.

Get half off golf every Monday through Wednesday when you download and book in the app. For full details, visit topgolf.com pmt. That's topgolf.com pmt. Crusoe is also being brought to you by proper twelve. Pick up a bottle, try it for yourself. Original, rich and smooth. Proper twelve irish whiskey. Or try crisp and fresh irish apple. Smooth to the core. And now here's more. Alex Caruso I was, I was reading the other day that you're a big fan of Sandstorm by Darude.

No.

So I don't know why they picked that song, because I am, first of all, great song, you know, classic. But that wasn't the song the DJ was playing in warm ups before that game. Because that's the whole. The whole tweet was before the Minnesota. I had a really good shooting. I knew career high seven, made threes. And I was like, in the interview afterwards with Casey Johnson, one of our reporters, I was just like, yeah. I was like, vibes were great. Pregame. Like I was. I just coming out, I was bobbing my head, like, music was fine, phenomenal. I was making everything at warm up. So it's like, all right, probably gonna be a good night, sure enough. And then the guy tweeted and was like, make sure it's sandstorm. I was just like, okay.

Gave all the credit to Sandstorm.

Yeah, yeah.

Then Sandstorm didn't. Didn't deserve it. But, you know, shout out to the.

OG, how many points do you think you could score in a game because you did the seven threes. I don't know if you saw January 22 when Embiid went for 70 and Cat had 53. I did. I did. Note I was like, embiid just went for 70, Cat has 53, and Crusoe has nine in the first quarter. It's like, everyone's going off right now. It's one of those nights. I think 40 and you.

I think 40 is a. Is a number. It would have to be, like. It would have to be the right circumstance. Like, I'm only getting that many attempts up. If there's, like, a couple people out or it's, like, into the year, some. Some type of situation. I think that's my. My career right now is, like, 32, and it was when I was on two way, and it was, like, one of those things where it's like, all right, playing a game, like, for my. From my career here.

Right.

And I think I made five threes in that game and then had a bunch of layups and. But, like, it was me and a bunch of two a guys and then, like, KCP and Rondo. So who else is gonna take the shots?

Yeah, no, I can't wait for the 40. Alex Russo, 40 night.

I'll make sure fucking. Whenever I get the 40 ball, I'll give you the shout out for it.

Oh, yeah, that would rock. Just be like, they shout out part. My take.

Inspiration behind all of it.

You could do it. Yeah, just. Have you ever gotten the green light for an entire game?

I mean, I kind of do, but, like, I'm trying to win, too, so, like, I don't need to be out there just jacking up 25.

No, give.

Give Caruso the green light.

I don't see.

That's the thing. I don't think I have a. Like, a red light. Like, I don't have. Like, when I'm open, I'm allowed to shoot. Like, I'm allowed to be aggressive.

It's not like, yeah.

Billy d ever say, like, I want you to shoot more?

It's like a lime green.

Yeah.

Does he ever say, like, hey, you're hot, shoot more?

No, but, like, usually when I'm hot, like, I'm gonna shoot it anyway. Like, the other night, like, I was. You know, I made seven of eight, so, like, any tense I got. Yeah, that's what I did. But, like, you know, we got Kobe, we got Demar Vooch. Like, I'm not going to just run the offense through me if I'm going one.

Yeah.

What's.

What's Billy d like as a head coach?

Billy D's got, you know, y'all say y'all like buzz.

He's.

He's got a little bit of buzz charisma into him, you know, with the leadership and, like, making sure that, you know, the team's kind of focused on big storyteller guy. Big, big, big metaphor analogy guy. So that that's always fun because he'll come out of left field with some of these things, but then it, you know, somehow it always correlates back to basketball. I like playing for Billy. He's competitive. You know, he's got some of that. You know, he played in Providence back in the day. I don't know if they were big east or what they were, but he's got some of that.

Yeah.

I think he played one of Pitino's favorite players. He said he stunk.

That makes sense.

I think Pitino said he was fat when he came into college, and then he played his way and became great.

At the end of it.

I don't know.

The only picture I've seen, he looks pretty skinny.

Yeah, yeah.

So, same height.

What's a good Billy D metaphor?

Billy D metaphor, dude.

He just.

He'll come up with stories and, like, he knows at this point that, like, you know, whenever he tells a story, we, like, you know, eye roll. But it's just like, okay, here we go. Another story. So, like, he'll start it off and be like, vuj. I know you love stories. Here's another story. Like, go into it before, and it'll just, you know, whatever we need during the season, whether it's like, you know, refocus on. We talked about that, that using the old pictures from high school, like, yeah. Finding the love for the game and stop. They get out of your own head and thinking about circumstances presently, you know.

When you had hair.

Yeah.

Being. Being. Being more involved in your love for the game rather than focusing yourself kind of thing.

I have a hair question, but I want to go a question off of Billy D. When you got to the bulls, he obviously was hired as well. Were there any stories about Jim Boylan and. And what happened before you got there? I.

So I don't know him personally.

Yeah.

We'll just, you know, disclaimer.

Yeah, because that's got to be. I mean. But, yeah, Donovan's.

That guy was a unique character. I heard. I heard he was. I heard he was a unique character. Yeah.

He basically was like a Pop Warner coach playing. Coaching NBA basketball.

I love that.

Yeah.

But he's. I mean, credit to him, he keeps finding jobs.

Yeah, I know.

He's a basketball lifer coach.

He coach USA basketball, people, World cup qualifiers. He was head coach there. I think he's in indian. I think he's in Indiana right now with the Pacers.

Yeah.

So, like, maybe he's just a wizard in these meetings with the office guys, or he's just like. He. Or he's got blackmail on everybody.

Yeah.

I don't know.

He's.

He's. He. It was a ride. It was a ride when he was here in Chicago. It was something.

Yeah.

Special sound bites.

I heard it was unique.

Very unique. Art. It was unique, but.

All right, so the hair question. When did you know that you're going bald? Because I feel like you did a really good job. Like, we never really got full bald. Like, you. You got.

Yeah.

Switch fast enough that no one really caught on.

Well, it was. It was right after. It was right after the championship. It was right after we won the chip. And then I did a deal with manscaped. I signed, like, a hundred k deal with them to, like, promote their stuff, and this was, like, when they were first coming on, and, like, I ended up shooting a commercial with them, and it was on TNT or something. It was like, this cheesy little, like, me flying through the air and kind of, like, their whole, you know, their whole, like, kind of, like, goofy and sarcastic, and they were like, yeah, we'll give you a bunch of money and do this commercial and, like, shave your head. I was like, all right, sure. Like, I'm have to do this anyway. Like, yeah. As well. You know, get some. Get some fun money.

Actually, you did. You did have some bad hair.

I was gonna say. I remember there was forgotten.

There's a second band.

Dodgy. Yeah.

I was. I was so locked in on basketball that, like, I just didn't care. Like, I think it was bad. Like, I would see some of the photos after, like, games, and I'm like.

Ah, yeah, the headband was smart because you also rock the headband. That's like, did he have a traumatic brain injury or is he wearing a hair thick?

Yeah, well, dude, I have a. I have a small head in general, so, like, like, hats. Beanies. Like, I don't. I can't wear, like, flat bill hats. Like, I'm a big snapback.

Yeah.

Baseball cap. Like, I have to, like, find certain ones that I can fit. So, like, the headbands are.

They're crucial.

Yeah, it was. It was important.

Would you always, like, make sure to adjust it after a play if you got hit, like, real quick, pull it down to the right spot?

Yeah, I could feel it. But, like, even then, sometimes I've seen highlights of me where it's like, you know, like, kind of zigzagged. And it's like, sometimes I just lose. I lose control of it.

Yeah, that's.

It's smart. By manscaped, though, it was like, if we're gonna ask somebody to shave their head, let's ask somebody who's probably gonna shave their head soon.

Yeah.

It was very responsible.

Yeah.

Have you thought about going mustache only?

I do every now and then in the summer, like I did for 4 July last year. Yeah, I can show you.

Yeah, yeah, I want to see that also. You would drop 40 with mustache.

Easy.

That's a 40 stash, easy.

Yeah, I think. I think. I think that's probably the. I think that's probably the signal for.

Us is the night that you're gonna go off. Just roll out there with a mustache as a signal.

Now you're trying to get me. You're trying to get me in the Dante Porter away from that. Did you find it?

So remember the time you got drug tested because you did a Photoshop picture with muscles?

Yeah, no, I didn't do a photoshop.

You just posted a photoshop.

Somebody else did it to me. Yeah, I was just getting back into LA and we're. And I was working out, and this was like, this was a. This might have been before. After my two way. You're going into the year that we won the chip. The 2020 season, 1920 season. I was just working out. Like, that's what the young guys do. Like, you come back a couple weeks before in September and start working out, get in front of, like, everybody again. And, you know, our. The PR people just taking pictures, coming back, and this was, like, still after, like, you know, the hype was still building, and somebody just photo.

Excuse me.

They photoshopped it, made me look like Miles Garrett. And then all of a sudden, like, within a week, I got a drug test, and I was just like, well, welcome to the. Welcome to the big leagues.

Oh, that's so good.

Yeah, that's pretty good. So we had this debate last week on the show. We were talking about college versus the NBA. The shot making at the NBA is so much better. Players are so much better at that level. How many players do you think right now could go from the NBA if you were to take one guy, put them on the worst roster in college basketball. That's in the tournament. So, like, one of the 16 seeds. How many players are there in the NBA where they could take that roster and then win a championship with it.

Win the tournament when the team, like.

Put them on the. One of the worst teams? Like, I was saying that it would be more than we think.

Yeah, more than you think, for sure.

Yeah.

Like, if you.

But what's the number y'all are?

Y'all what?

Y'all said a few.

I said, like, 15. I thought about it.

I think my numbers probably around ten.

Oh, I was gonna go. I was gonna go, like, way more. Triple that, maybe.

Yeah, 40.

Yeah.

Cuz, I mean, anybody that's like.

Dude.

I mean, guys interview are so good, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, you got to automatically think bigs have an advantage because it's college. Like, the big is back, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, so, like, that brings in a whole nother couple group of people, I think probably 30 to 40. I'd say 30 30 safe. Because you never know. The last ten, they might not.

Yeah.

I was thinking, like, Dwayne Wade when he was on Marquette. They were a decent team, but then they also had Dwayne Wade, but they didn't even win the championship.

I'm comparing this right now to, I, like, every. Every player that I'm putting on the worst team, I'm making them play UConn in my head right now.

Yeah. Yeah.

And, like, Giannis playing on, like, a 16 seed. I think they would probably win.

You wouldn't even have to dribble. He just. He just goes. He's so strong.

Like, right.

You would. It doesn't matter. He would file out the whole team.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's dunking on grown men.

Yeah.

It wouldn't be fair. Yeah.

The. The best way.

I think we'll go with this. 27.

27.

Good answer.

Make a whole list.

It makes you sound like you really thought about.

I did.

The best way to, like, describe the difference. I think Windhorse said it a few years ago where he was, like, the worst shooter on an NBA team would be the best shooter on a college team. Like, that's. Even including big men.

Yeah.

Like, they better than, like, the three point sniper on a call.

I mean. Yeah, I mean, that's. I've seen Javan McGee and Dwight Howard go shot for shot from the three point line at five spots.

That's crazy.

Like, you know, like, first one to miss and they both make, like four or five in a row.

Yeah.

And y'all would never trust them to shoot, like, outside in the game. You'd be like, no, no, no, don't do that. Like, set the screen roll. We'll throw you the lobby. But I've seen.

Yeah.

Like, I've seen. I've seen a number of big men that just. They can shoot in practice, but, yeah.

They'Re not asked to do it in a game.

It's just. It's different.

Yeah.

How awesome of a teammate was Gervais?

Gevel is a great teammate, man. He's one of the guys I love seeing now because he's just so. He's so. He's so chill. Like, it doesn't, like, make it make any sense that, you know, when he first came in a league, he was on Shaq's in a fool.

Yeah.

Every other week.

Yeah.

And now he's playing, like, 17 years in the NBA. Like, that's what I will career. He should. He should get a lot of respect and in admiration for that because, like, he figured it out. Yeah, he figured it out. How to be a pro. Fun fact. Gervais, the one that convinced me to wear the headband.

Oh, really?

Yep.

So he was the head man.

He started doing. Yeah, yeah. He's an inspiration.

He was the nice friend. Yeah.

He's about to Ville was.

He would go out there.

He would.

He was a great player by the time he was done with his career, and. But he would still have, like, once a week, he'd have a throwback travail moment where he'd do something like put up a show.

Yeah.

I think he was just testing it out. Like, see if he still got it.

Yeah.

See if I can still get. See if I can still do this.

Speaking of the NBA to college, can you tell the story about how you ruined the basketball hopes of a tick tocker? Because I read that story.

Oh, I saw that. Yeah, that he was. It was high school.

Yeah.

We talked about this the other day in the locker room, randomly because we were talking about, like, you know, every now and then, guys will, like, no matter who it is at any level, they'd be like, oh, yeah, I played against that guy in high school, or I played inside college. And, like, we don't remember because we play against thousands of people.

Right.

My, I had a couple people send me that TikTok where this guy was, like, basically talking about, like, yeah, I thought I was good. Like, I thought our team was good. Coach comes in and he tells him like, hey, there's one guy on the other team you gotta worry about. Like, make sure that we're locked in and focus on him. And, like, we had some decent athletes, you know, in Texas. Five a five a school. So, like, big school, 3000 students, a couple football players, like, you know, first off the bus kind of guys. And then, like, I come in and the coach points at me is like, that's the guy you worry about. And this is when we talked about, like, I had the floppy hair, like, I had bangs.

Yeah.

And he tells a story. He's like, yeah, I'm just like, stealing the ball, dunkin like doing a windmill and warm ups. I was like, yeah, that was me in high school. Like, I was. I was different in high school. I was dunking on people and basically just playing, like, you know how college players do at the wreck and. Yeah, in the offseason.

Yeah, I love it though. This kid, this kid told the whole story. He's like, yeah, I thought I was nice. And then house Crusoe showed up and I was like, oh, fuck, I stink. There are levels to this thing.

Yeah, that was. I remember the tournament, too. I remember we played a. It was a preseason tournament down in Houston. Our coach took us down there because he used to. He used to coach down in Houston a little bit and we just went out there and we just, like, destroyed people. We were just. We were a good team, though. My senior year, like, we lost like five or six games.

Does this still shock you every now and then? Like, because it is. We were talking about this. I was talking about with Titus, like, for some reason, the NBA is the one sport where, like, casual fans, like, oh, I could take him, like, like, scalabrine used to do the scout challenge where he would.

Yeah, he would just invite people one on one. You would invite anyone, like, eleven and he smokes 110.

Yeah, it's like, you don't understand how good we are to be in the NBA. You ever have, like, people who talk shit? You're like, you just don't have any idea.

Like, yeah, all the time. Every day.

You should do a crusoe challenge.

Yeah, maybe it hosted here. Maybe we should dominate people.

If I played you first, the 500.

That'S like, people that's like, people, like, random, like, like average, you know, your average joe on Twitter and he's just like, whenever I'm like, playing bad or something, it's just like, this guy sucks. And I'm like. I'm like. He's like, I was scoring him any day. I'm like, dude, I was first team all defense. Like, that is incredibly hard to do. Like, you understand the people that I have to guard every night, and you think that you can just walk in here and do this?

Yeah, I think we need to cruise.

That would be. That would be a good one.

Half court, me versus you, first to 500.

Would I score eventually? Yeah, I think I would. Just, like, once I get up to 500, I just catch my breath for five points and, yeah, go score the other hundred in a row, and I.

Would clip that video and that would be.

Yeah, that would be the.

Every day how stuff I vote. How often do you get people being like, damn, you're a lot taller than I thought?

Yeah, pretty often.

Cuz that's.

It's always so funny, cuz, like, even.

Steph, like, you know, he looks people.

Like, oh, he's so small. It's like, he's 6364. Like, that's a big.

And that's what I try to explain to people. It's like, you. You don't understand the monsters that play in the NBA.

Yeah.

Like, these dudes are genetic lottery winners.

Yeah.

And also athletic and coordinated. Like, you know, you can pick anybody in the world that you find a couple guys that are 610, can't chew gum and ride a bike at the same time.

Yeah.

Like, these dudes in here, like, they're monsters. Like, they fill up a room.

Yeah, and they're smart, too.

They're there, so they're coordinated every strong. Like, I'm a big human being. No, average, like, human being. Just on that scale. Once I get to the NBA, I'm a little guy.

Yeah.

Like, I'm small.

Yeah.

But even a dude like James Harden, he is. He's so smart when it comes to understanding the rules, how to use them to his advantage and take whatever the reps are gonna give him.

There's a bunch of people like that now.

Yeah.

So how do you adjust your defense plan against guys like that?

I mean, first you gotta learn what's a foul and what's not a foul based on how the league is gonna officiate it. Like, that's the key because, like, you can think you're playing really good defense, but, like, what they could do in the nineties and the early two thousands, you'd foul out in ten minutes trying to do that nowadays. So, I mean, a lot of it's just figuring it out and then, you know, just not getting upset when the refs call something that you think is bullshit.

Yeah.

Like, that's the biggest thing is like they're gonna call some bad fouls, that it's a product.

Right.

We want to score points. We want to entertain people. So, like, the offense is always going to have the advantage.

Yeah.

So at that point, it's just like, all right, don't. Don't get pissed when there's a bad one.

Is it like night to night in terms of how you adjust, how you play defense, depending on the refs? Or is it month to month, year to year? Because they do. They do put points of emphasis on different things at different times.

Yeah, sometimes the points of emphasis last for a couple weeks. Sometimes they last a whole year. That's neither here nor there.

Yeah.

You know, but no, the way that the game is called usually increases towards the end of the year. You know, like there's been. There's been an uptick, like, statistically and, like, the amount of free throws shot before all star break and after all star break. Well, I guess so downtick, like a regression. Less fouls are being called. You know, it's starting to get a little more playoff, like.

Yeah.

Where like, you know, you don't get the little bump head fake, throw it at the rim call anymore.

Yeah.

And that's always an interesting dynamic to see how, like, the guys who do get those calls during the year have to adjust. That's what we talked about earlier, where, like, guys get pissed and they start yelling at the refs. It's like, no, I know that I can get away with this now. Or. Yeah, vice versa.

My favorite is whenever Jokic tries to act like he was going to shoot a three from, like, the opposite, he's gonna get it.

He should.

They should go like, he's, you know.

In the act to shoot.

You know what's crazy about that is like, practically thinking, right? Why would that not be?

If he's.

If he's legitimately. Legitimately shooting the ball.

Yeah.

Right. From there. Like, it's like, though. It's like the. It's like the people who talk about, like, if it's a foul in the first minute game, it should be a foul in the 47th minute.

Yeah, yeah.

Kind of. Kind of true.

Yeah, like, swallow your whistle.

Like, if the dudes trying to shoot it, what? Like, what? At what distance does it become not an attempted shot?

Yeah.

Why can I not shoot it from here? Why, why is that?

Before steph, if somebody was trying to pull up like 5ft from half court, they'd be like, no, that's. That wasn't gonna go.

Yeah.

They'd be like, no, you weren't really trying to shoot it. Like, you don't. You don't get to judge my intent. Like, yeah, just take the facts what they are.

You could probably make that.

I hope it happens. He could playoff game like a con.

They what they want to be.

So it'll be great.

So season next year get. Would get one.

Yeah.

That's what they should actually do is tell the refs, okay, we got. We have to give him one so he stops trying it.

Yeah.

And give it to him.

Now, see, the problem is you get one now they're gonna do it.

Oh.

Now everyone.

They're gonna drop plays.

First time that happens, it'll happen three or four times the next night in the NBA.

Yeah.

Somebody will try it.

Well, I don't want to. I think you can guard anyone, so I don't want to disrespect you and asking who's the hardest to guard.

But thank you.

Has the most in their bag. Who has the most moves where you're like, damn. Like, they just do everything this year.

I mean, it's the two guys that are guards that are in the MVP conversations. Luca and Shea. Gildas Alexander. Yeah, there's.

There's careers over. Cuz that commercial we work, him and.

Chet singing, dude, that was so.

I actually saw so many times watching. They literally, like, they're a fun, young team, and those guys are so good.

Yeah.

That it's like, I don't like them.

R I P. Their career. Sad to see for them, you know, it was so promising.

Yeah.

So. So Luca, for example, like, I mean, watching him play is crazy, but when you're. When you're playing against him, I would assume it's more of like, we know he's going to score. We know he's going to get his shots. Just trying to make him work as hard as possible for it.

Yeah, no, that's.

I mean, that's. You could. You could use that line and sentence for 30 people in NBA.

Really?

Yeah.

There's nothing you can't stop.

I've said this before. It's like the dudes, like, the dudes in the league, like, the ones. They're gonna get their averages.

Yeah.

Too many possessions. The game's too open. Like, it's just there's 48 minutes, they're gonna play 40 of them. They're gonna get their numbers. You got to make sure the other guys don't get above their averages. You got to make sure this guy doesn't, you know, he's averaging 29, 30, 31. You gotta make sure he doesn't go 40. Yeah, she doesn't get 50.

Do you keep it in your head when someone scores on you? Like, all right, that was two.

No, no, I don't.

Okay.

I got. I'm. I got amnesia when I play basketball.

That's smart.

You have to, though. That's what we talked about. These guys are incredible athletes. Shot makers scores like they're going to make shots. Like, I could play the best defense in the world. Like, good offense beats good defense any day of the week.

Yeah.

Yokich hitting a 1ft. Timeline shot last year in the playoffs over ad. It's like, like, what do you. Like, you couldn't have guarded any better. Dude threw in a prayer. Like, that's gonna happen. Like, at that point, it's just like, all right, cool. Take it out. Let's go the other way.

Yeah.

How annoying was Pat Bev in practice?

Pepper wasn't annoying in practice. He.

He tells us that he's annoying in practice. He ended Jeremy Lin's career.

He's a hard worker.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Well, no, he just said that when he was trying to get in the league, he was like, I started guarding him the minute he got off the bus.

Like, yeah, no, that's fair. I mean, that. But that's. You got to do that. Stay in the league.

Yes.

You know, Pat recognized opportunity. Uh, no, he just. He just pisses people off because he's just so extra sometimes.

Yeah.

Which, I mean.

Yeah.

Gotta do to get to keep your job, bro. Like, you know, he's. He was first team all defense for a handful of years.

Yeah.

And now he understands the game. Now he knows how to think the game. And that's just his stick now. That's his mantra.

You had to have been when he was on the Bulls last year, and then now he's back off the Bulls. You're like, fuck, I really liked when he was on my team and I didn't have to deal with him.

Yeah.

It was funny seeing it from, like, the first person view every night and seeing how he would, like, just fuck with people.

Mm hmm.

He's the best.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's very good at getting inside your head and driving somebody off their game because now they're not thinking about the game. To think about Pat buff.

Yeah.

Like, he did that. He tried to do that to me a little bit. I can't remember when it was the game we played here. Yeah, the late game.

Yeah.

And he was messing with a couple of our guys, and he was like, talking to our bench in front of our bench after, like, the thing with Bobby and Damar, and so I was just, like, I was just, like, slowly escorting him, like, all right, come on, come on. And he, like, slapped my hand down and, like, I knew he was just like, you know, he's doing what he does, and so I just don't even give him a reaction, and he's, like, talking, and he just passed me the butt pat on the butt. All right, come on.

Yeah.

Ignore it.

Yeah.

We both know that we don't want to waste energy doing this. Yeah, keep going.

Yeah.

Who on the Bulls right now? Young guys, because there are a lot of young guys is, like, you can see, like, they're going to have a long, awesome career.

Honestly, I think, I mean, obviously the two are two guards right now. I own Kobe just because they, like, you can tell that they've, as an NBA player, the thing I respect the most about other NBA players is when you can tell that they got better because they worked hard.

Yeah.

You know, like, like, you can be good in the league, but if, like, if you leave one season, like, the end of this season, I come back next season and my game is exactly the same and I haven't changed anything, I wouldn't respect that as much as, like, I saw Kobe last year and I saw him come back this year and, like, oh, I could tell he's worked all summer and gotten better. I o same thing. I could tell all summer he worked, got better, and then, like, through the year, it shows, like, those are the things that, like, you, you can figure out who's going to be in the league for a long time based on who goes and gets better each summer.

Yeah.

You know, because that, that's what happens. Like, every year, there's 60 new players picked in the draft every year. That's 60 jobs that have to be replaced. And then you got free agents and you got people retiring. Like, the turnover is crazy in the NBA. So, like, if you're not getting better and you're staying the same place, you walk in a dangerous line of getting replaced.

Yeah.

So what are you working on this offseason?

I'm probably going to try and work on, like, a little, little touch shot mid range instead of trying to get all the way to the rim just because, you know, I'm, like, over the last couple weeks, I've been dealing with, like, an ankle sprain, and it's finally, like, feeling better. But, like, for those two weeks, I didn't have, like, the explosion that I usually do. And I didn't have, like, the ability to, like, jump up. Like, I missed a dunk one night against somebody. I barely made one last night. Like, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's like, oh, once I get old, like, I'm not gonna be able to use my athleticism. Like, I gotta be able to get here and be crafty and use. Use different shots. So probably that. Probably playing off pivots in the lane and then just working on little touch shots.

Yeah.

How embarrassing is that when you miss a dunk? I've never missed one.

I've never missed a dunk.

Oh, for. Oh, yeah.

Well, you'd have to say that.

Well, I just want to make sure.

Everyone knows I said, clearly, I've never missed a dunk.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. Is that 100%, then, or is that a 0%?

It's 100% because I've dunked on, like, the koosh ball.

Yeah.

I mean, I've. Yeah, yeah, you have.

You're right. Um, honestly, not too much. Embarrassing isn't a word. Like, I'm more disappointed myself. Like, I just wasted two points. Like, I could have just laid it in and got my lamb counts as two. Yeah. But not embarrassed. Like, I don't really hold fans opinions very high.

That's smart.

Very. Not. Not in a disrespectful way, but, like, a. You don't understand what's going on out here.

No, you can disrespect that. You can be like, yeah, we're idiot. You don't get it.

You know?

Yeah, no, it's like we talked about earlier, like, the people who think they can just, like, you know, go score an NBA game, or I saw something. It was somebody on tick tock, and it was like. It was like, you could give you $10 million right now, or. Or you. Or, like, I could give you, like, $10,000 right now, or you had to go get, like, five rebounds in NBA game for, like, $10 million. And people are like, I think I could do it. You couldn't, bro.

It's the Jayz dealer.

I'm six five and someone athletic and, like, pretty heady. Like, smart iq. Like, I can find the ball. I average, like, three and a half rebounds a night. Like, four rebounds. Like, you're not getting five.

Yeah.

Good rule of thumb is if somebody says, you can either have $10,000 right now, say yes.

Yeah, just say yes. Finish the sentence.

Tunnel of chaos.

Yeah.

We were talking about the in season tournament a few months ago and whether or not the players cared about it, I think it was smart having, you know, the NBA give setting aside, okay, here's cash, here's money if you end up winning. But some teams obviously cared about it. Some teams did not care about it as much. Did you find yourself caring about the tournament?

Yeah, I definitely cared about it. I don't think anybody didn't care. But I think some people had, like, a for sure plan and guideline of what they wanted to do with the in season tournament. And then some teams were just like, kind of figuring out their team still. You know, it was so early in the season that, like, a lot of people, like, if you look back at the games and looked at the box scores, like, I'm sure probably half the teams in the league don't have two or three of the players that played in those, like, started in those games for them playing right now. Like, that's one thing is like, it felt like it was a year ago, right? It was so long ago. So, like, maybe they, maybe they change it, make. Make it a little longer or push it a little a couple days back in the season. But no, I definitely cared. Did y'all, are y'all pro colored courts or.

I actually kind of liked the diff. Like, I liked they're tough to look at, but I did like that they tried to do something new.

I thought it fun.

Felt like it was different.

I enjoyed, like people said they hated looking at, you know, like, I think. I think Phoenix had a purple court. That was.

Charlotte was tough.

What was Charlotte's was like teal that. Yeah, yeah.

It's just anytime we're such creatures of habit and when we watch a game on tv, if it's different world.

Yeah.

Sucks.

Bad.

Yeah, exactly.

On bad. Bad fun.

If they. If they reintroduce the first line or the first down line in football right now, people be like, oh, that sucks for a week.

Yeah, they always.

You can't live without it, but, yeah. Anything news?

No.

I thought, I thought it was. I thought it was good. Like, the intensity around the games was real. Like, I don't know if y'all could feel it through the tv watching or not, but, like, it felt, you know, people called it like, playoff atmosphere. Like, we're treating like playoff game kind of thing. It felt like that for, you know, majority of the games.

Yeah. What's.

What's the best jersey the Bulls have right now that make you feel like you're gonna play the best?

Because it is the black with the little pinstripe.

That's okay.

Yeah.

The classic.

Those ones are great.

Sick.

I love. I think black. I think black uniforms are the best.

Really?

Yeah.

The.

I do think the NBA has gone to uniform crazy. Like, there's. There's times they've. They've kind. It was. It was a couple years ago.

Yeah.

A couple years ago. The city editions first came out. It was rough. There's a couple bad ones.

There was a game where I think the Pacers might have been playing the heat, and it was like the. The heat was, like, color. Oh, yeah.

Throw up.

Yeah.

They were wearing, like, yellow, and the pacers were wearing, like, what the heat should be wearing. I was like, what is going on? Or in, like, the nuggets. It was the nuggets playing the blazers, and the nuggets were wearing, like, a maroon. And you're like, what's going on here?

Oh, yeah, they did. Well, they, like, changed their whole.

Yeah.

Logo and color scheme.

Yeah.

You know, I don't. I don't. I don't like that. What they. Man, what they need to do is bring back the old. The old jerseys.

Yeah.

The nuggets with the stripes.

Yeah.

The stripes. The raptors. The purple raptors. Uniform rules.

Grizzly.

Grizzlies ones.

You know, the balls are the only team in NBA history never change their logo.

Yeah.

It's the robot doing the DJ.

That's why the black ones didn't tell you.

It's.

Yeah, those are the night.

Those are.

Those are awesome ones.

When you first put on the Bulls jersey, were you like, I'm Michael Jordan?

Close, but no, I was more like, oh, John Pax. Shout out. Yeah, shout out to my guy pax.

But it's cool to be like, I'm wearing the same jersey that the greatest player of all time wore.

Yeah, I think. I think. Well, y'all are trying to give me in trouble.

You're a Kobe.

I. I think we'll come back to this. The jersey part is like. The cool part is like, y'all, I don't think I'll see the details, but any team that's won a championship, they have a crest.

Yeah.

Like a. I don't even know what it looks like, but, like, it's like a shield with. With the number of championships you won. And so, like, every time you put on your jersey. Right, you put it on, you know, your back. Caruso six. And then it has the same.

Yeah.

So, like, when I was in LA, it said, you know, 16 or however many it was. And then the next year, we want it 17. So, like, that part is when I put that on for the Bulls. Like, that was cool. And then, like, hearing, like, the.

Yeah, that's jacked up.

Yeah.

So, yeah, what it is, the, you know, you look up and you're like, man, I'm playing where the best player, bar none. I'm not even close.

He's played there a couple times. So you're LeBron?

No, I was way more than.

Oh, wait. I don't know who we talk about.

We're talking about the greatest player ever.

Yeah.

Who is that?

Oh, you still got a year on your contract with the Bulls, so.

Yeah, I know. Probably pitchforks.

You're setting the stage.

It's one a, one b. I don't know.

You don't know which one?

Yeah, I've got a really smart answer. I feel like. I feel like somebody else asked me this.

It is.

I wanted to say is you, but I don't know if it was like.

The new hot dog is a sandwich.

It's. It's.

Oh, it's not new. This has been going.

No, I know, but I'm saying, like, everyone asks this questions, it becomes like. Like first take when they just run out of stuff to talk about.

Yeah, well, they go, yeah, other. That's a whole nother conversation. Sports talk, tv.

Oh, would you change?

Oh, what would I change? Yeah, just the whole thing.

What about us?

Would you change us?

No, no, y'all are fine.

Okay.

Y'all are like 3rd, 3rd party. Kind of like omniscient, you know?

Yeah.

Everything.

Yeah.

I wouldn't. I would have, like, specific sports stuff. Like have to have former players talk about stuff.

I don't hate that. Cuz there are definitely.

I mean, we people that go through it.

Yeah.

The ones speaking on.

Yeah.

Well, the problem is, I think we try to do is we try to admit that we are really stupid before we say anything.

Great disclaimer, right?

A huge disclaimer that basically his liability gone higher career.

Except for MJ versus LeBron. We're very right about that.

But everyone else.

Historians of the.

Yeah.

People don't admit that they're dumb before they say dumb stuff. I could see how you'd be like, you have no idea.

Or after or at all, you know, in general.

Yeah.

There's nothing at stake if you're wrong.

Mad dog.

Mad Dog said he was going to retire if the. If the Diamondbacks made the World Series.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he's like, come on, I was joking about that.

Just kidding. I got three more years on my contract.

Yeah.

He would have high stepped around the studio if he was right about it.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's a fair point. I think having. Having somebody, at least in the conversation that's gone through it would probably be a good addition overall.

Yeah.

Are you a.

Are you a Cowboys fan?

No, I'm not. I got friends that. Are you talking about this earlier? I don't have a favorite pro sports team. Like, I grew up in a and M so, like, maroon Kool Aid from birth, and then I never caught on. I would always watch, like, the Texas teams, though, like, growing up with basketball. I had, you know, like, prime Texas basketball. Had T Mac.

Yow.

I had dirk.

Yeah.

Uh, you know, the. The hall of Fame trio in San Antonio. So, like, I was. I was a fan of theirs, but, like, I didn't follow the teams.

Did you just try to say, some of my friends are Cowboys fans, so you can relate to them. You're allowed to do that.

No, no, no.

I.

If they lose or win, I don't care.

Okay.

Yeah, no, it makes no difference to me.

Cowboys fan, you don't care.

You don't even take joy when they lose. That's the best part about not being Cowboys.

I take joy in my friends misery.

Yeah. Okay. That's fair. Yeah.

Yeah, that's me. Be. Being a good friend. Yeah, I didn't do that.

You'd be a bad friend.

Yeah.

If you're like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, that would be lame. All right, well, I got one last question. So, Roebuck question. Rho B a C K. Promo code, take 20% off your first purchase. Cuse ifs, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, robecam. Promo code take. This has been awesome. We. We actually. One. Once we get into playoff basketball, maybe when we have a question where we're the dumb people talking about it, we might have to hit you up and be like, hey, can you help us phone a friend? Yeah, phone a friend. My last question, though, is how many times you think LeBron has read the Godfather?

The book? Read the God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How many times?

Read it.

Twice.

Cover to cover.

Yeah.

Huh? Have you seen him? Right.

Cover to cover.

You mean the front cover and the back?

Have you, like, have you seen him reading?

No, I haven't.

Do you remember when he was photographed walking into the locker room and every time his bookmark was on the same.

Was that. Was that in the bubble when he had the book?

I don't know. It was then someone asked him like, who his favorite characters were, and he. He was like, uh, the italian guy. I don't know. But let's see.

LeBron asked what his favorite scene from the Godfather is. Let's see what he says. I'm probably gonna play a stupid ad before this.

They're definitely gonna.

It's like the one where they kill everybody.

How awesome was it to play with JR Smith?

Dude, swish is the best.

He's.

I play a lot of golf with him.

Really, really good.

Right?

He's good when he's on.

He's.

He's really good.

Yeah, yeah.

He was so chill, dude. That was. That was something. While we're filling this time, our. Our team in the bubble had, you know, whenever you don't play in the games, you do these things called stay ready runs. So, like, the guys that don't play will play pickup in the days, stay in shape in case they got to go in and play. And. And so, like, it would be, you know, Quinn Cook, Jared Dudley, Taylor Horton Tucker, junior Smith, Deon Waiters, Javalen. Dwight would get in there. Like, we had some, like, elite. Elite pickup runs in the bubble when they weren't playing in between days. So, like, every now and then, like, I'd go ahead and get my work in, then I just sit there and watch them play.

Yeah.

The shot making ability for Deon. And swish.

Yeah.

JR, when you get. When he would get hot and just, like, everything would go.

Yeah.

I mean, if he would have played, I mean, he did pretty well for himself. It's not like he had a bad career. Like, he had a very good career, but, like, if he would have played in this era, it would have been.

Yeah.

It would have been talked about.

Yeah.

So here's what he got on the godfather.

Let's see what he says.

Not related to the game, but since.

It'S been a lot of publicity yesterday and today about Godfather part two. Is that the godfather talking about the scene or the moment or the phrase or the quote?

You like more from the movie?

Oh, from the Godfather. It's too many different phrases and too many different lines in that movie to just. Fair answer.

Yeah.

Categorize one.

But which is the one one this guy double down on?

He was fucking going at him.

I've never seen this.

Each movie is 9 hours long. I mean, what do you want me to do?

So many.

I don't know that.

You pick one, and I roll what it is. It's a great trilogy.

That's.

That's actually the biggest proof. Information overload that he didn't watch him was that. He says a great trilogy. Yeah, it's a great one and two. Yeah, the third one stinks.

I'm gonna be. This is gonna be a hot. I've never seen the godfather or.

Or the second one as an italian.

Yeah, I know.

What the fuck?

I know. It's.

It's. Oh, I'll go home and watch it today.

Good fellows guy.

Not really. I don't watch a lot of tv. No, I've never seen that. Oh, I don't watch a lot of tv. Like, I watch sports. I watch YouTube.

Max, what do you. I mean, Max, this is italian discrimination by one of your own.

That's gonna be disappointed of me now.

It's all right.

Hell, yeah, man.

Stick together.

X doesn't mean that he's still trying.

To put in that fill.

I have. Godfather is, like, a thing that is on.

On.

In my house during thanksgiving, like, every year, but I don't know any. I don't, like, know it, like, bar.

For bar like that.

Like, I like. I don't, like, sit down and watch it all the time. It's just always kind of on.

It's like shooter.

Yeah, it's on.

It's like.

No, actually, every thanksgiving, like, my. Like, in between football games, it's godfather. Like, everything.

It's like the radio in your house.

Yeah.

It's just background noise.

Godfather. Yeah.

You leave your house, like. Oh, wait. You forgot to put off the godfather.

They used to run on AMC during every. During every thanksgiving. So it was an easy, like, flip back and forth, like, commercial. Go to the godfather. Go back to the football games, catching three minutes. But then they stopped putting it on AMC, so we just. We just run it. Like, if there's. If there's, like, a downtime in the.

Football, I think what you're doing smart, by the way. Alex, you're not. You're definitely not saying anything bad about LeBron today. Just in case.

Not great guy.

Yeah, just in case.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um.

All right, well, this has been awesome, man. Well overdue.

One question. Y'all are. Y'all are. Y'all made up after the change?

Yes. Yeah, it was.

I was a bitch.

There's a lot of build up to that. But then we didn't get to see.

Yeah, well, he was. He was at the game.

Yeah.

Yeah. That guy was a piece of shit.

Like, we made friends. I was also.

Well, it's like, have you ever had.

Classic tough guy falling back scene?

Yeah.

You sit down. Then I was.

He didn't think I was gonna stand up.

Yeah.

And then when I did, he kind of respected it. It's like, you know, sometimes you butt heads with somebody.

Yeah. Yeah.

Then you become friends.

I also was never mad at Pft. I was only mad at Hank.

No, that's fair.

Yeah.

I remember.

Hank is. And when his teams lose, he just doesn't talk well, so that was the.

Part I always been quiet today.

Yeah.

Right.

So, actually, that's.

That's a good question.

If you.

How many players are there in the NBA that you could put on Wisconsin and win the national championship because they got beat by need, like, 312?

See, I will say I. It might have been me because I didn't. I didn't watch Wisconsin play all year, and apparently you had pretty good year. Decent. And then I watched. The only game I watched all year was the worst. Yeah.

Didn't know how to play basketball.

Yeah.

It looked. It was not great.

No, it was not. That was probably the game that you're like, yeah, I can't watch college basketball.

It was. Yeah.

The first half was tough.

I mean, they didn't know how to play.

Basket was tough.

They were so bad. But, yeah, it was only Hank because he's just, like, when his teams lose, he, like, doesn't even watch.

Yeah.

No, I remember seeing some of the. Some of the live stream stuff from the first weekend. There's a lot of animosity in the.

Yeah, it gets tested worse.

The den, the better.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you probably also saw live streams this year in football season. You probably didn't see Hank.

Yeah.

Patriots sucked.

Mm hmm.

So he didn't watch.

It's nice, you know, a clip I stumbled upon the other day was. Was Hank jumping into the pool and then run it into the house.

Yeah.

Cowboys fan. Yeah.

Slamming.

Yeah. Huge decrease. That's weird.

He was a lot more lively when that team lost. For him. It was fun, you know, had to.

Make lemons out of eliminated lemons.

Yeah.

Cowboys fans were doing that for a while.

Yeah, that's true. All right, well, Caruso, thank you so much, man. Awesome having you on. We got to have you back on.

Oh, yeah.

Especially because you live not too far from here.

Yeah.

Long overdue. We also got a. I know. We're doing our court. We're doing a mini golf tournament next week, so they're changing it, but we have to come. Have you come in?

Those are electric, by the way. I've watched those on YouTube.

Yeah.

We're gonna do one all live next week, but we. We should have you come and have me.

You're doing it at the ear?

They're building it.

Oh, in here?

Yeah.

If you want to come do a practice round.

Yeah, you can. You're around. You can do a practice.

What's your game?

Like?

You get a pro.

Will do a pro am.

Yeah. Better.

I'm probably better at real golf than putt putt, but, like, I compete, you know?

Yeah.

So, yeah. Gauntlet he sees.

Yeah.

You have a good time.

Was it 242?

46.

That's pretty good.

Pretty damn good. He almost tripped over.

Yeah.

With the roughing the passer from the bags board.

If you had gotten hurt, it would have been.

Yeah, that would have been a tough sell.

Move back to New York.

Yeah.

All right, well, thanks so much, man.

Appreciate it, guys.

Thanks, man. Alex Caruso was brought to you by cars.

Calm.

Cars calm is a leading digital marketplace that connects car shoppers with a perfect car. Celebrating 25 years of helping shoppers research, find inventory, finance, and sell cars wherever life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be. There's a car for that on cars.com. Up to 50,000 cars added daily to cars.com. Shop over 2 million cars for 2 million possibilities. I'm getting an El Camino, and I'm getting it off cars.com. Dot cars.com has so many options. No matter what you're looking for, you'll be able to find something that you want. Check it out for your next possibility in cars.com. Where to next?

Okay, let's wrap it up. We got fire fest of the week, hank.

Yeah, my fyre Fest is. Tried to, you know, do something fun for the company. Got a. Got a mini golf tournament built. Some are saying it's only a day.

I have.

That's fine.

Who said that?

Nick. He wrote an intro for it, and it's like mini golf. The only idea Henry Walker's ever had. I did the lawns of morning.

Kind of hurts.

Yeah, kind of true.

It's kind of true.

But now I'm just getting heat cuz there's a bunch of dick holes. Yeah, Dick.

Dick.

Yeah, I mean, you died in very foul.

I didn't do the individuals. And I'd probably maybe bit of an oversight, but there are probably five or six solid, like the outline of the.

Whole look like dicks. You should call that two men corner if they're docking each other.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah.

Hank also only get he's come up to me probably. What are you gonna say?

I know.

What do you think I'm gonna say about practicing?

Yeah.

So Hank has come up to me, probably it's true. I want to play ten times in the last four days, asking me the same question every single time. And I give him the same answer every time. And then he comes back to me, like, 2 hours later. He's like, but what? Like, maybe. What if I could, what if we could practice more? The issue is a bunch of people are flying in for this. They're flying in late Tuesday. They only have a chance to practice once. Hank is like, but can everyone else just practice before that? I'm like, no, if we're gonna do it, you know that people complain if everyone gets, if people get to practice more than others.

Well, Hank would never do that at a mini golf tournament. Get there early.

And he keeps coming up to me, asking me if, like, there's any way that other people, hank can practice more. And I'm like, we have to keep it consistent. And he just thinks that, like, I'm going to change my answer depending on the day.

Hank's definitely going to practice late at night. He's going to sneak back in. We need to, we need to check out the security.

Yeah. Speaker zero.

I won't know.

I play by the rules.

This.

If you really want to get a peek inside my mind, it's, I understand, and I respect the decision. I understand why it happened, but my going up against, it's going up against Dave Ryan Whitney, and Kirk minahan, who are impossible to argue with. My hope a little bit, maybe was like, maybe big cat will fight the fight for me. And then I can kind of get in his ear, like, you know, Draymond green. Yeah, but that, that, but I've tested the waters and pick up many times.

But many times he said, what motivation.

Do you think big cat would have.

To, like, go to be wants to practice? I I know, and that's my, I'm saying like that.

Oh, you thought I did.

Maybe no one.

This is more than enough.

Honestly, hank, the, the correct thought about this tournament is, I don't care if I practice before.

Right.

We're gonna go out there.

We're watching.

I don't want to practice to win. I just want, it's fun. Like, we have a mini golf course set up. Like, I want to play.

You practice. You want to practice, win.

I don't care as much about winning as much as, like, when we have a mini golf course in the office. Like, I am a child. I'm like, I want to play with, yes. Mini golf course.

Yeah, but it's fine.

I.

But it is. That might just be my firefight. Hank just keeps asking me the same question. I keep giving him the same answer. Then he comes back, and he's like, but what about, thankfully, we're gone.

I will say that to it. We're gone this weekend. Otherwise, intrusive thoughts.

Made it.

You would have been here practice for sure.

100%. You'd be here. But I think you've actually. I think you've already practiced. I haven't secretly.

No, I respect. I respect the rules. I've just been maybe lobbying.

Swear to God you haven't practiced yet.

Swear to God.

I haven't taken.

I'm not going to. I understand how much people are going to bitch about this, so I have not. I've just been trying to maybe change legislation, you know, in the court. Unsuccessfully.

Unsuccessfully.

You.

I still. I'm definitely getting asked that at least two more times.

No, it's all, we're not gonna be back by the time we're back. It's practice run day.

Yeah, but you're gonna be like, oh, I practice once, but can I practice again now?

It's over.

It's.

We've made it. Where our flights tonight.

We're good.

We're done practicing.

Yeah.

Did Hank design this entire tournament just so that he could practice mini golf?

Yes.

No, it's just. It was a good idea I had.

And mini golf, it's the mini golf button. Hank, what ideas you got? Mini golf, it's gonna be.

Or mega golf.

Mega goo.

I like Megan, which is just regular golf.

Oh, no, no. It's got to be bigger than regular.

With bigger holes.

Yeah.

Longer. Longer holes. Bigger holes.

Yeah.

Your clubs.

That would be fun. Yeah, I would play Mega golf.

Awesome. But, yeah, the. So next week is going to be great.

We're.

Wednesday will be. Wednesday morning will be round one, when Wednesday afternoon will be round two, then a cut. Wednesday night, prime time will be round three. And then we're saving the final round for Thursday night after the Masters so people don't have to choose between us and the Masters. I think we'd probably lose that fight if.

Speaking of changing legislation, Hank, my fyre fest of the week is that Billy football is running for congressional. So what started out as encouraging Billy to run for George Santos seat? Excuse me. Run against George Santos for Congress is turned into Billy seriously doing a campaign to get elected to New York's third district, to the point where today he was interviewed on Fox News. I thought he did well on Fox News. Yeah, I thought he did a pretty good job, all things considered. The lady came after him right off the start and said, like, you're not really running.

No.

I regret to inform you, Billy football is 100% legitimately running for this seat. And my fyre fest is that I feel like Oppenheimer that by putting this into motion, I've affected the course of the United States for the foreseeable future.

Yeah, it's scary.

It's a scary thought. It also. It would be the perfect ending to, like, a part of my take documentary where it shows, like, where are they now? Like, at the end of animal house, where it's like, oh, big cat. Pft, Hank are doing this. Billy football went on to serve eight terms in Congress and is now running for vice president. Yeah, like, I could see that. I could see that scenario panning out. He is taking it seriously. So if you want to read more about Billy running for Congress, go to Bill Cotter for congress.com. I guess I could see Billy.

Maybe the story ends, like, Billy gets elected to Congress and then creates a law that bans podcasting and shuts forever.

Oh, podcast libraries.

Yeah.

So he's like, you can only have your podcast live for. For 24 hours.

You're a podcast or you're a criminal.

Yeah, I would actually take it one step further, Hank. I would say that he could put us all in prison.

Yeah, I'm rooting.

Billy's ultimate revenge is just throwing us into a CIA black side.

I'm rooting for Billy to get to a point where he has to debate, and then I'm also rooting for Billy to win, and then some big scandal takes him down. Like, I want him to just live the George Santos story arc. Yeah, perfect.

Except he's stealing frogs because.

And then he would also just make us call him, like, Congressman Bill Cotter for the rest of his life.

Yeah, that'd be funny.

Yeah.

I also hope that this ends. It'd be awesome if, like, he lost, but then he did, like, election fraud and, like, campaign for, like, four years to try to get the results overturned. Yeah, because somebody screwed him over of his votes.

It's gonna. It's gonna be same.

We also found out his middle name is Biddle.

Yeah, that was a shocker.

I still can't believe.

I can't believe.

Bad job on our part, not uncovering that years ago, Biddle.

And, you know, the. Billy's gonna be like, don't make fun of it. It's my mom's, like, you know, name from some english old person. Like, but it's still Bill.

Yeah. That's in.

It's not like that's a weird name. It's the fact that it's Billy Biddle. Yeah, that's the weird part.

Yep.

It's not a normal name.

No, it's not.

No.

But, you know, you know, his answer would be that, like, english something or other.

Yeah.

I want him to win. I listen. He's running on common sense. Dudes can't buy houses anymore. Let's fix that. I think the article that was written about him, he's like, everyone can see there's problems, and I see these problems and face value.

That was it.

But he sees the problems.

So his website, which is, this is Bill Cotter for Congress 1.02.0 will be coming out later, where it kind of expands on his, his basic talking points for his campaign. But his campaign is. I like the good things.

Yeah.

So if you like good stuff, then I'm a good guy to vote into office.

Remember when life rocked?

Yeah.

So, I mean, I, I'm proud of Billy for taking it seriously, but at the same time, I'm like, dear God.

No, I mean, the craziest part, he's.

Worked more in three weeks on his campaign than he did his entire career.

He literally said that?

Yeah.

He said, I've never worked harder than I have over the past week.

It also is, it's a, it's a sad state of, like, american politics that, like, I saw Bill, I've read everything Billy's written, and I've saw, I saw him on, on tv, and I was like, he's actually not a bad option.

He isn't.

I honestly don't think he's that bad of an option.

He would not be the most incompetent con.

Right. Exactly.

That's that.

So I'm, without a doubt, I'm getting, I'm inching closer and closer to a full endorsement. I haven't gotten there yet because he's running up against a guy named Jim toes. So I want to see what Jim toes has to say. But we're getting closer to a full Billy endorsement for me.

Yep. Yeah.

It's a, it's something, it's something to take in.

I hope, I hope we also get to a point where it's like that. We have to, like, he gets the delegation of the riders and Jerry's army and the minifans. Like, he's got a, he's got to actually, like, pander for the endorsement.

The best part of the interview was today when they asked him if he would if he is supporting Donald Trump for president.

Yeah.

And he goes, yes, I would accept Donald support. Donald Trump's support if he gave it to me. Yeah, he flipped it on him.

Yeah.

Like, Billy, you can't teach that.

No, you can't. But, yeah, like, you know, when it used to be that, like, oh, the Washington Post has decided who their. They're backing. Yeah, I need that for, like, Jerry's army has come to their decision.

Yep.

The minute fans are ready to say who they are backing.

So this.

This concerns me a little bit. Max just brought up Jim toes, his website.

Yeah.

So Billy's running on the common sense platform. Jim toes platform is. Oh, no, it is hardcore common sense.

That's way more common sense.

Billy, how can you get more hardcore than hardcore?

You can't. Hardcore common sense.

The fact that he spells his name, like, actual toes. Yeah, I was just assuming it was, like, Jonathan taves.

No, his name, nose literally means athletes foot. So Billy's got to go mega hardcore common sense.

Yeah, hardcore common sense beats common sense every day.

Foot fetish.

What about hardcore common sense?

What about NSFW common sense?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's so common sense, you won't even be able to show your. Your colleagues.

Yeah.

His name translates to foot sex.

This guy also.

Does he part of gym? Is that.

Does he live in the district? He lives in the district. Problem.

Jimmy toes. I. Yeah, that or athlete's foot if it's gym.

True.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. My fyre fest.

Have you contributed to Billy football for Congress?

I haven't decided yet.

I haven't.

I haven't yet.

Yeah.

I also think that he probably doesn't have his, like, financial setup, that I would assume that I would just get robbed.

Yeah.

I think he probably would just get recurring payments from me.

Yeah.

This is. It is very similar to the plotline of Jonah and Veep.

Yeah. Yeah.

I also. I have to watch my finances because I don't know if, you know, it's hogs for the cause season. So I got hit up pretty hard.

I did know that.

Yeah.

I got hit up pretty hard.

Who hit you up this year, Ben?

Mints.

Okay.

Yeah.

So it's caught. It's costly being his friend. Very costly. My fyre fest. Oh, actually, I've had a pretty good week, but we have to. We have our wings date with Stanford. Steve, we don't have a wings place. So anyone who's in Arizona, tell me the best.

I got one.

Okay.

So then I don't know if I.

Got a really good one.

Yeah.

I don't say it.

Okay.

Also, I got an email from my daughter's school that said that there was a bout of diarrhea going around and if you have three diarrhea's, you're out for the day. And I was like, that would suck if we had that here. That's a lot of diarrhea.

I'd be out.

Yeah, we'd all be out. I saw that email, I was like, wait, they have a three strike diarrhea is policy.

That's wild.

Crazy. Wasn't my daughter, so. But still, like, just the idea of being anywhere where three diarrheas would get me kicked out, I. I would be scared to go anywhere.

Swimming pool. Swimming pool is like, if you.

Yeah.

If you've had diarrhea within the last year, you're not.

Oh, yeah, hot tubs. I don't. Listen, that's not.

Hot tub is pretty to much a bath.

Yeah. And that.

It does say don't. If you come in here, don't have diarrhea. It's like, bro, I always have diarrhea. So that's not. We're not doing that. All right. Jake finishes off.

Yeah.

On a similar note, the other day, I was in the bathroom and the.

Lights just went off.

Yeah, they do that when there's not enough movement.

So I was sitting too long and.

It just got pitch black. And I turn on my flashlight.

Oh, no.

Yeah, that's rough. That's rough. It's happened to me a couple times.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, we need to change those timers.

It's very quick.

That's just hanging out. You're hanging out too long. Yeah, pooping in here.

But it's nice when somebody walks in and you're just like, thank you.

Yeah, I kind of like pooping in the dark.

Yeah, you gotta clean up.

You want to unpack that real quick.

There's something about just like, you just.

Don'T want to see yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

Then you can focus.

Right?

Like, I've done it in my. My, like, apartment before. Just like it's dark.

I'll just.

I am poop.

You straight?

Yeah.

If you wake up in the middle of night, you have to shit. I never turn the light.

Exactly. Wake you up. Yes.

Seeing yourself does suck. I actually a real firefighter. I have not gotten the toenail polish off my toes from arch madness a month ago. And every morning I wake up and I'm like, fuck. And I'm just too lazy.

I just don't how much tote. Nail polish is still on there.

All of it.

Are you serious?

I.

That. Yeah, that's all.

I just assumed that it faded away.

No, you can use. I. My wife gave me the toenail polish remover, and I started to do it. It took fucking forever, and I just gave up, and I was like, I'll just. I don't know. I guess next time I go to a pool, it's gonna be. I guess we could. Yeah, I probably could. This could be a problem this weekend.

Yeah.

Max.

Well, maybe it's just kale Williams.

Max, you take your shirt off when you poop?

Never.

Never. You seem like a guy who would know.

I. I try to keep my shirt on as all the time, as often as possible.

It's. Yeah.

That's another thing. Sometimes I'll shower in the dark because I, you know, I don't want to see myself.

That's dangerous. That's not fully dark.

Shower in the dark.

Not fully.

It's kind of relaxing, actually.

Well, it's like if it's daytime and I don't have windows, but, like, I'll, like, open my door a little bit, and then the natural light will come through.

Yeah.

Like a tiny bit of light.

Yeah, tiny bit of light.

It's like a meditation.

It's like, relax. Yeah, it's relaxing.

All right, good show, boys. Numbers 83. 40.

18.

Almost. 77. 99.

Poke. Good luck to pug and Seton hall tonight.

Trying said it. That would have been brutal.

56. 56.

That's the first one I won on. You didn't win at the old office, I guess.

Doesn't count. I'll be coming for your love oh,

me? Take me out I'll be gone, donkey dokey. Okay. Take me out. I'll be.