Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Listen up. We've got some tea, and you all are going to be obsessed.

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On today's part in my take, it is March Madness time. We're going to talk about what we watch, Conference Championship Week. We got a crazy bears trade at the end of the night, Aaron Rodgers, Conspiracy Theory Hour. What else do we got? We have Andrew Santino. Incredible interview with Andrew Santino, our good friend. Second time on. Great talking to him. We're going to do Firefest, and it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. The thrill and excitement of March Mania is here. Draftkings Sportsbook, one of America's top-rated sportsbooks apps, is giving new customers a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. That's right. To celebrate college basketball's most frenzied time of the year, DraftKings is giving new customers a shot to rack up some bonus bets. We got everything tomorrow. There's so many, so many games tomorrow. I'm going to look real quick. I'm going to look real quick and give you guys something that I'm just looking at. It's not advice because we're not doing advice. Yukon St. John's over. That looks nice, 146.5. If you're not in Illinois, my Badgers are hot again, so watch out for them.

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Okay, let's go. Now in the street there is violence, and a lot of work to be done. No place to hang a low washing and then I can't lay all on the sun. Oh, no. We're going to wrap down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're going to wrap down to It's Part of My Take, presented by Marshall Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings Sportsbook. Use code take at the DraftKings Sportsbook right now. You can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code take. Today is Friday, March 15th, and some bubbles have been burst.

Duke, Duke's, Duke Luke's bubble has been burst.

They lose to North Carolina State. No, this is full disclosure for the AWLs. We could get a little loopy here because we just watched 12 hours of basketball nonstop. My eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my head. I love every second of it. That's not a complaint. It is more of an explanation if my words don't work correctly.

We could do without overtime, though. Those are the seconds I could do without. Overtime is a sword to the stomach if you have any action. Because you never win an overtime bet. No. Never. It's It's always on the wrong side. Dogs go to die. Dogs die there. Unders go to die there. We should probably talk about- Listen, that Villanova game was tough to watch for our guy, Max.

We went through the DePaul game last night Great. Let's all just go around the room and say something nice about Max.

He's powerful.

I am proud of how Max fought in that game. Best hair on the podcast. Nice, Jake.

He makes watching March March Basketball is so much more entertaining.

You can say March Madness. Well, it's not March Madness. Okay, well, it is March Madness. It's March, and we got Madness. Well, that's next week. Champ Week. Okay. Memes.

He's strong.

Yeah. Max, say something nice about yourself.

Pass.

Okay. What is Pug? Ask Pug for something nice. Pugs on in here. Yeah, just text him, though. Yeah. I mean, send him a text. Max, I also admired how you fought tonight. We You had subdued Max. What did you call yourself? Mundane Max? Mundane Max. Tried to tone it down a little bit. The fire escaped, but that's fine. Some of the fire is good, I think. But I'm proud of the way that you held your own against Rico.

Yeah, you did a good job. You fought hard, Max. Here's something else, Max. This is almost Saturday. This is actually Saturday. This is Saturday. Okay, all right. Here's something else, Max, that I'm going to say. Do you know the movie What About Bob? Have you ever seen the classic What About Bob? No. Bill Bill Murray. Bill Murray. Classic movie.

'70s?

'80s. Shut the fuck up, Hank.

Thank you.

Here's just the premise. Forget about what about Bob. But it's essentially like when you walk around and everyone is like, That guy's crazy, that guy's crazy. And finally, you have something happen where everyone's like, no, maybe he's not crazy. Max, Kyle Neptune sucks at coaching basketball. You are not crazy. He got absolutely worked by Shaka Smart. The fact that he didn't call a timeout with 30 seconds left in the game when his team... Eliminate the fact that maybe you say, Hey, let's let the boys play. We have something drawn up. His team was staring at him, looking for direction. The point guard brought it to where they usually call the timeout, and he was like, No, just keep playing. That guy is not a good basketball coach. Jay Wright would have won that game. It was disgusting. In Shaka Smart, I know it didn't count, but the play that he called, the fact that he had the ball inbounded past half-court, timeout to a perfectly drawn-up play for the buzzer beater that didn't count. But still, that was the disparity in coaching. So you're not crazy, Max. Kyle Neptune's got to go. Yeah.

Did that feel good?

I watched it all year. We lost five games by one possession.

Every time we had a chance to win a game, we didn't do it unless it's against De Paul.

It was- Which that was tough. That was a tough fight.

I'm not going to say that Cal Neptune was looking at the spread, but I will say the way he reacted when that shot was waived off, when they spent three minutes reviewing the last second shot by Marquette, turns out it was maybe on his pinkie. I don't know. I still don't know whether it was on his pinkie or not.

I think he's- He's gone to the over-turn that one.

I think his salary is going to cost a lot more than whatever bet he must have had on that. Which is why I'm not saying that he bet on it. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that he acted like a man who did After they waved that off, the look on his face when he found out it was going to overtime, utter disappointment. He did not call a timeout on their last attempt in regulation to win the game. He did, however, call a timeout in overtime down six points with an opportunity to cover the spread. He called that time out, but he didn't call the first. I'm just saying. I'm not saying, but I'm saying. Does that make sense? Not going to say it. Yes, Hank. His facial hair is impressive, Pug.

Oh, nice. Max, here's another spin zone for you. I think with what happened against DePaul and the fact that we've had a few bid stealers going down, I think you would have probably been out no matter what, and it would have sucked to have to get your hopes up after a win and then watch on Sunday, and they don't announce Villanova's name. We've dominated Providence this year. Okay, but I'm still saying-We beat them by 25 and then 15. Yeah, that actually It does suck because Providence was incredible against Creighton.

If we beat Providence and go to the biggest final, you can't keep us out.

Yeah, that was a big upset.

The good news is you had low expectations. You didn't get hurt that bad. Yeah.

Providence played very, very well, beat Creighton. We also had NC State taking down Duke, John Shier, Hotsey.

Maybe. He was sweating on the sidelines.

Well, it's classic Duke fans. They were immediately just talking about how awesome their recruiting class is.

It was also classic Duke because after the game, they did post the final score on Twitter, but they locked the comments. Classic college, shutting down free speech in America. A little bit of that going on these days.

They ended up unlocking the comments.

You can unlock a comment?

Yeah. Well, everyone was, I mean, myself included, I just quote you and said, Turn the replies back on, cowards.

Yeah, I wish that they just left it locked so that we could continue to roast them for it. Yeah, no, it's way worse to unlock. When you If they post the final score without opening up the comments, that's worse than not posting the final score. That's saying, I know you're about to make fun of me. Please don't do this.

I'm soft and I need a safe space away. Just don't even post the final... Well, no, that would be a problem, too.

I think it's better that they just don't post the final score than if they post it and then shut it down.

I think we're going to get to a point with social media that teams are going to start doing final score graphics. You know how there sometimes will be sponsors attached?

Yeah.

They're going to be final score graphic, sponsor attached. Here's this child's GoFundMe. They have cancer.

And they'll tag the child in. So the child gets all the replies.

Because for some reason, it's such a hilarious thing that these social media accounts, whether or not they don't post a score or they turn off the replies, who the fuck cares? If you run the Duke account, you don't have to read the replies. Just post it and just go on with yourself.

What is the issue with it? They just don't want people seeing. They don't want their fans to have to read those replies.

It's crazy. It's like the softest thing ever. I don't understand it. It's like, why not just post it? It happened. We had some great basketball. We had some crazy finishes. I'm trying to think of what else. I mean, Kansas lost last night. Kansas is down bad. It's weird seeing Kansas and Duke eliminated in the first round of their tournaments because usually, Kansas is like, that is the Bill Self invitation in most years in the Big 12.

Yeah, we had St. John's advancing. I saw several times during the game, Rick Pitino does, in fact, talk to the referees. I think he may have pulled the wool over eyes on that one. But yeah, good for St. John's. Big East tournament has been very fun so far.

Big East tournament has been a lot of fun. Johnny Fanta texted me. He was, by the way, great job by John Fanta pumping up Red Panda. That was great. Just two of the best people in the world in one clip. But Rick Pitino said after the game, We have to play a different style in March, and it's called Racehorse Basketball. It takes the pressure off of you and allows you to play freely.

They also asked him how he can beat Yukon, and he said, Well, I need six of their guys to get COVID. Yeah. Makes sense.

We also had a very weird encounter after the Providence game. A reporter asked if Kim English is married because he's hot. So that was weird. What else? My Badgers might be back. They look good today. That was crazy. They didn't miss. They hit every single three.

They didn't miss. The Badgers were on fire.

They did the one thing- You don't want to play these Badgers. They did the one thing that's going to get me back in. They started hitting threes again. Because I think in the month of February, they were like 15% from three points. And today, they just hit everything. There was one point, it was 80 to 40 against Scott Van Pelt's Maryland Terrapins. And yeah, I'm going to fall back in love, which sucks.

Yeah, Maryland looked awful. They've looked pretty bad. They look bad even when they won against Rutgers, but they managed to pull it off. Maryland, bad team. Wisconsin, good team. Ohio State, good team. Ohio State is hot. Ohio State is real good right now.

This is Indiana. Yeah, they do it big. Indiana is starting to reel off some wins. Get some teams peaking at the right time. What else?

The Atlantic 10 was nuts.

Yeah, so all four top seeds are out.

Wow. It's nine versus five and six versus seven in the semis.

Yeah, Dayton loses.

So that's where you would have been maybe screwed, Max, because that whole conference just got fun.

You get to the Big East tournament, you're in the dance. You mean the final?

The biggest final year in the day. Paul would win.

Yeah, they also- They also- They were crazy.

They robbed from us the moment that we would have had on Sunday, where we had a live camera on Max as they announced the bracket. Then if Nova hadn't made, then we would have gotten to see Max.

There's going to be a small part of them that's still- Maybe. Yeah, if I were- I'm retired from March. Oh, okay. Retired from March. Hank, what do you think about Duke losing? You didn't really chime in. Are you going to be a Duke fan this year or no? This year, it's main event time.

It's main event time.

It's March Madness. No, Cooper Flag. Cooper Flag? Yeah.

They didn't even try to take a three.

Is that his nickname, Main Event?

Yeah.

It's Main Event time. It is. Yeah. Fuck, I love this week so much, and it's just such a blur. It is so long. It's so starting and just chaos everywhere.

I do feel beaten down by March already. March won the first round against me. That's a 10-7 round. Yeah. That's A rare, rare 10-7.

My body feels already broken, and we're two days in. Yeah, tomorrow, we get to do it all again, and it's even better matchups and better games because you have all the teams in the SEC who had buys, double buys, Big Ten had double buys. We're getting everyone involved. We got some semifinal games. We're getting everyone involved tomorrow. It's going to be great.

Yeah. We also had some NFL news. Yeah. The bears are back, right?

Keenan Allen.

I think Keenan Allen is a really good player.

All All right.

He has a hard time staying healthy. You have to say that whenever you talk about Keenan Allen. But when he's playing, he's been consistently one of the better receivers in the league for, it feels like 10 years.

I can't be upset by people doing the same thing I do, where if someone else, if you don't root for the bears and they sign and they trade for Keenan Allen, you can easily be like, he's 32, he's old, he's injured. That's fine. Ryan Polls is setting up Caleb Williams. He's going to have the best setup for any quarterback that's ever stepped onto a bears role.

Yeah, I got a question for you, Big Cat. This is maybe the first time I remember a team being all in when they're about to draft a rookie quarterback. They're not, though. You don't think the bears are all in?

No, because they still have a shitload of cap space. They didn't use it all.

So they're not all in yet. They're partially. Are they all in your ass?

No, I think they're a year away from being all in. I think next year, I think the way that Ryan Polz is structuring this roster, he didn't go nuts in free agency. You want a nice cliché, best free agent signing by the bears.

The one that you don't make?

Jalen Johnson.

Okay, yeah.

Keeping him on your team.

He's a turning guy.

Yeah, keeping him on your team. But yeah, I think they're setting up for Caleb Williams, and I think they'll probably trade the ninth pick now so they can get more picks. We don't have a ton of picks, but yeah, I like Keenan Allen. Keenan Allen is really good He's very good when he's healthy. He's very, very good. I know he's injured a lot, but he's very good when he's healthy. Now, he doesn't have to be number one. He can be number two to DJ more.

To me, the big question is, who is Justin Herbert going to throw the ball to? Do we feel bad for Justin Herbert?

No, I think it's Mem's Meme. It's Adam Silver, but it's Jim Harbaugh's face. Get ready to learn handoff, buddy. They're going to play some man football and just hand it off, hand it off, hand it off. The charters need to reset everything. They do. They were in Cap Hell, so they lost. They traded Keenan Allen. They cut Mike Williams, right?

Yeah, Mike Williams got signed by who?

I don't know. Bosa- No one yet? Restructured his contract.

Yeah, Austin Eckler, gone.

So, yeah, they're going to look totally different.

It's going to be weird seeing the chargers next year. Totally different. But I still think they'll be good. Patrick Mahomes, congratulations. You have a good wide receiver again. Got Hollywood Brown.

Yeah, he's going to have the best year ever.

Him teaming up with Kaderius Tony, Thunder and Lightning. Actually, two lightnings.

He's going to be incredible. Also, shout out Patrick Mahomes. He's reached the final step of a franchise quarterback, Super Bowl-winning quarterback. He's opening up a steakhouse. Oh, good for him. That's really it. When you finally have made it, you have to- You have to- Reno's Elwis, you got to have it.

Is he going to have a signature dish, which is like swimming in ketchup, a ketchup-poked steak? Yeah.

K ketchup comes as a side.

Yeah. A bottle of ketchup at every table.

Do you want the sauteed mushrooms or do you just want the Heinz? Yeah. They're naming it 1587 Prime. It's Kelsey and Mahomes together.

That's good.

Yeah, but that feels like the Actually, I should say the final, final step is the steakhouse failing in three years.

Car dealership next.

Yeah, and car dealership. But yeah, congrats to him. Then we had Aaron Rodgers. Found out really quickly that there's a between being hated by NFL fans and then hated in the political space. Because almost instantly after the news came out that was reported first by PFT-by Leroy.by Leroy, there was a story that he's a Sandy Hook a Sandy Hook truther, which I don't know if it's true or not, but if you are a Sandy Hook truther and you don't think it happened, you're the biggest scumbag piece of shit on Earth.

Yes. I agree with that. Here's Aaron Rodgers' statement because he did post on Twitter. He said, As I'm on the record saying in the past, what happened in Sandy Hook was an absolute tragedy. I am not and have never been of the opinion that the events did not take place. Again, I hope that we learn from this and other tragedies to identify the signs that will allow us to prevent unnecessary loss of life. My thoughts and prayers continue to remain with the families affected along with the entire Sandy Hook community. Heart emoji and then hashtag. Hashtag nothing. Makes you think, right? That does make sense. I like how he include his little signature hashtag nothing at the end of this very serious post. He's saying that it didn't happen, that He's never said that. It was like a CNN reporter that claimed that he said that to her and that there was another person that he said that to. I don't know what the truth is. Aaron says he didn't say. But one thing Aaron Rodgers has not denied yet is that he's running for vice president. So he went out of His way to make a statement denying that he said this about Sandy Hook has not denied that he's considering being RFK Junior's running mate.

And they're announcing the vice president for that ticket, I think next week in Oakland, California, in Northern California, which is where Aaron Rodgers is from, not from Oakland, but the area. I think he's going to do it. I think he's going to run for vice president. It's going to be hilarious. I don't know if he's going... Is he going to retire or is he going to try to do both? That's the real question.

I still don't think he's going to do it. No way.

You don't think so?

No, I think that Aaron Rodgers likes attention.

He's doing a lot of attention. I thought about this. The ultimate out for Aaron Rodgers right now, he has the best opportunity in his mind presented in front of him on a silver plateau right now, which is to come out say, once again, the New York Times got it wrong, fake news media. I'm not running for vice president. I think he would love to take that win.

Yeah. I don't understand it. I wonder if the Jets are quietly freaking out or they're like, This is ridiculous. There's no way. It would be so- I have a feeling that Aaron Rodgers has probably texted the Jets front, Joe Douglas and Robert Salah, and been like, Hey, don't worry about it. There's just news, and I love being talked about.

I don't know.

I mean, he loves being talked about. We spent all season when he was injured talking about him.

Yeah. Again, like we said on Wednesday's episode- If you were signing up to be the vice president, you would have to have run that by the Jets at some point already.

You can't just announce that and then talk to your organization. You'd only do it. If he was running for vice president with Trump, I would actually think there would be a chance because you wouldn't do it if you had no chance of winning.

Have you seen record in the postseason?

I'm just saying.

It would be like a... What's the word I'm looking for? You just want the takes, which is fair. No, I want the takes. I'm also thinking, we were talking about the Jets history of quarterbacks. It would be like, You can't get any worse than this. You finally think you have your guy after all these years. You go out, you spend a full calendar year being like, next year we're going to get Aaron Rodgers. You put on a full-court press. You give in to all the packers' trade demands. You finally get them. You're like, We got our guy. Finally, the Jets have our quarterback, the missing piece, Super Bowl. He comes in, you get his wishlist of players, his former teammates, you bring all of them in, you go out of your way, you pretty much make him the head coach of your franchise. And then he gets injured after four snaps, five snaps. And then the entire season, he's like, I'm going to come back. I'm going to come back. And you're like, Well, maybe we can do it this year. Maybe we can do it this year. And then he just strings you along and he never comes back.

And then that next offseason, you're Well, next year, we've got everything in order. This is the year that we win a Super Bowl. We have a quarterback. And then he leaves you to run for vice president and gets 3% of the popular vote. That would be the ultimate Jets quarterback storyline. It would. It's sad to say, and I say this as a fan of a team that has our own long history of having shitty quarterback news. We have a very sad tradition, Washington, of quarterbacks since I feel like 1991. But this can't be toped. If this If it actually happens, that would be the worst.

Memes would be done. It'd be done as a human being. Justice conversation is making me uncomfortable. Justice conversation. Okay.

Sam Howell is gone.

Yeah, Sam Howell is gone. Hold on. Let me do the Uber Eats ad read real quick. Uber Eats, when tuning into all the conference tournaments this weekend, turn to Uber Eats for all your delivery needs. Uber Eats is more than just food from your favorite restaurant. I'm talking groceries, convenience items, and alcohol. Whether you need dog treats, peanut butter, St. Patrick's Day, Decorations or Bier, or maybe all four, Uber Eats can deliver almost, almost anything. What are you guys going to order this weekend? Uber Eats.

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Sam Howell, gone. I realized- Seahawks. Yeah, he's a Seahawks. I can picture him in a Seahawks uniform. I think it's actually a good trade for both sides because we got a third rounder and a fifth rounder for Sam Howell. We did give up a fourth and a six, I believe. We just moved up in the draft. But I think it's a good trade for the Seahawks, too. He fills their Drew Lock backup position very nicely. Yes. I I realized right after we traded him, I just recently purchased a Sam Howe jersey, the most expensive one that you can get. Why would you do that? Because I'm a moron.

Yeah, you're going to draft a quarterback.

Then you start doing the math and reading the tea leaves Does that make it more likely that the commanders end up drafting Jaden Daniels?

My instant knee-jerk reaction was it was a Jaden Daniels move because-If they were getting Drake. If they were getting Drake, Sam Howell and Drake may are good friends. That would make sense. Like, oh, yeah, you want him to be comfortable.

You have an emotional support quarterback.

Right, exactly. You have a set up. So, yeah, I think Jaden Daniels.

I think it might be Jaden, especially because we got Marcus Mariota. I feel like his style of play run the same offense. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I can talk myself into Jane Daniels very easily.

He's very exciting.

One thing about Jane Daniels, he has no desire to run for public office.

Yet.

Yet.

That you know of. That you know of.

Is that going to Is that a question that GM start asking prospective quarterbacks at the Combine? Do you think Sandy Hook actually happened?

Yeah. Do you have any ideas or imaginations of power?

Yeah. Delusions of grandeour.

Delusions of Grandeur. Delusions of Grandeur would be a good way to put it. I don't think he's going to run. I think somehow that was a good trade. I agree. I think you'll actually get to play a little.

He might. He might. Also, he's a fine young quarterback.

Also, Mason Rudolf got traded to the Titans, so it is now firmly Russ versus Kenny.

Yep.

Which at least it's a little bit more clear.

The Titans got a receiver, so who did they get?

Oh, they got What's his name? Calvin Ridley. Yep. Yeah. So good job, Titans. Putting a little something around Will Levis.

I heard a theory today on ESP in Chicago, Big Cat. I'm curious to hear your take of this. The fact that Justin Fields hasn't been traded yet, there's some speculation that Ryan Polls last year made a mistake in trading too early, making move too early. When you can wait till closer to the draft, or maybe a little bit after the draft in some cases, if you're in training camp, and he thinks that Justin Field's value is going to get higher as you get closer to the draft.

Maybe.

If you package him with one of the picks. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Sure. Maybe he's playing chess.

Yeah. Listen, this is a tough time right now Just trying to wrap your head around. There's a lot of factions in Bear Fantoms. There's a lot of people who think that Justin Field is staying. They have a lot of people who think that Caleb Williams is bad, that you got to trade, all this stuff. There's theories that Ryan Polls and Justin Fields have put this whole thing together. They sat down and he was like, Hey, first thing you're going to do is unfollow the bears on Instagram, and then we're going to get everyone talking about it.

Then I've got a real nice puff piece coming out from Caleb Williams saying how much he wants to play for the bears.

Oh, Caleb Williams is at the He was at the golf game today, so people are like, Oh, he doesn't care. Golf game, I said.Yeah. I told you I was going to be a little loopy. My words weren't going to work.

The golf match.

He was at the golf game today, and people were freaking out about that.

There was an ace on 17.

Not impressive.

Did he see it?

He's also wearing a T-shirt.

Oh, is that a problem? He was wearing a T-shirt?

Was he wearing a backwards hat? Jake has a problem with it.

What's the problem with him wearing a T-shirt?

At a golf tournament?

Who the fuck cares?

It does go against the decorum of Sawgrass. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Think about the decorum, Big Cat. What's he going to wear behind the podium? Is he going to show up in a dress again?

I want my quarterbacks to stop sticking out and start sticking-No wait.

Sticking it in.

What was it? What was LeBron's?

Stop fitting out, start fitting in. Fitting in, yeah.

I'm fine with crying, but you have to wear a golf shirt to a golf man.

That's where you draw the line. That's the line right there. Until I heard Jake say it, I was getting ready to just go all in on Caleb Williams being a classless piece of shit, but hearing the words come out of his mouth, I'm like, You know what? I don't care.

There's a lot of T-shirts at a golf match. I don't think so.

Yeah.

Not Masters, but it's TPC, TPC, Sawgrass? Come on.

Let's see. I'll tell you this, I didn't dream of wearing a non-colored shirt when I played there. I didn't dream of it. If you're inside the ropes.

People got to be comfortable. Let's see. All right. I'm looking up Caleb Williams.

Yeah, PFT is wearing a comfortable golf shirt. It's rowback.

That's true.

This is crazy. This is where you draw the line. This is how you're in.

I hit a hole in one.

Rowback. Facts. Is it...

You were playing golf?

Yeah.

That's different. Out of golf course. All right. I'm counting. In the picture with Caleb Williams, there is one, there's There's three sweatshirts, three T-shirts, and it looks like... Actually, four T-shirts. I mean, this guy is fitting... No one's dressed up nice at this fucking event. I'm literally looking at a picture right now. There's three guys in sweatshirts, and there's four T-shirts I'm looking at. That's crazy. Come on, Jake. Even sweat pants. Come on.

You know what?

It's Friday, too. If it was Sunday, maybe you'd have an argument. It's Friday at TPC.

Tpc. That's not on Caleb. That's on the tournament. If you have a dress code, you have to enforce it for everyone. It's a stupid tournament.

That's not my fault. Excitement is rising. He's saying he's walking. Wait, I'm pausing. I'm going to count the T-shirts. I got one, I got two, I got three T-shirts in this screen grab. There's T-shirts everywhere at this thing. Get out of here. You guys, you golf guys are just too many rules. Too many rules. This is all going to suck if they somehow don't draft Caleb Williams, and I spent two months just defending him just nonstop.

Yeah, some franchise is going to get some run off defense from you.

Yeah, they're definitely... I'll write a report for whoever draughts him. I'll be like, Here's how you defend him against people like Jake who are mad about... Jordan Spee is not even wearing a golf shirt.

Jordan Spee is stuck. Yeah, he was.

That would be sick, though.

He stunk today. Max played really well. Max is in the thick of it. Three back, right?

She got our guy, Max. I'm just focused on hoops. Golf can wait. Golf has a time, and it's right after March Madness and going to Augusta. That's when golf season starts. Okay, anything else before we kick it to Andrew Santino? Awesome interview with him. And then Firefest, we did record earlier in the day, so I was able to use my words. Yes.

Firefest is good this week. Promise.

Okay, let's kick it to ourselves. Okay, before we get to Andrew Santino, a quick word from our friends at Morgan & Morgan. It's 2024 now, so let's talk about something important. If you get injured by a person, place, or thing, you deserve to get paid. Life can be crazy sometimes, and one person's negligence can result in another settlement. If you're in an accident, not calling a lawyer means you could be leaving money on the table when you're seriously hurt. Your injury could be worth millions. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Do it right now. We know the guys at Morgan & Morgan, they're great guys. They're there to defend you. Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers with over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is so easy. Beating DePaul is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy. Eating 24 pancakes is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy.

If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go for the people, forthepeople. Com/pn PMT or dial poundla, pound529 from your cell phone. That's f-O-R-thepeople. Com/pmt, or poundla, pound529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Okay, here he is, Andrew Santino. All right, we now welcome on a recurring guest.

Yeah, baby.

Right in the show, it is Andrew Santino, stand-up comedian, actor. Got a new movie out.

Thesbian. What did you say?

Yeah, number one.

Chiefs fan. You didn't do that. That's not true. He knows that. All right. I support them.

You're just best friends with Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey.

The best of friends.

Have you asked Patrick Mahomes? Like, Hey. Well, after I talk- Wouldn't Have you been crazy if you were on the bears?

Yeah. He goes, I just want to be on a winning team, was his response, which I thought was rude.

I mean, I've always been when people are like, Oh, you could have Patrick Mahomes. It hurt for three or four years. Then I had the realization, If we had Patrick Mahomes, he would have just been hit by a bus.

Something bad would have happened to him. Yeah. Injury year one, probably.

Crossing Michigan Ave, just being like, Bus hit him. Patrick Mahomes is dead.

That's something weird. Something would have fallen from the L and hit him in the head. You know what I mean? Something would have broken his neck somehow in a weird way. We would have not gotten lucky with him either. They're good dudes, man. Happy for them. I'm a Chicago guy, Chicago sports through and through, but I support those guys because it's so much fun to watch a team win sometimes. It It sucks.

It's hard. Yeah. We struggle with this because when you become true friends with some of these guys, you're rooting for them because they're your friends.

Yeah. I want to see them. Also, they're not competing against me. Right. That's the same thing I talk about in standup when someone gets mad that someone's career takes off. All this internet hype about Matt Ryfe, all these people mad at him. It's like, he's not taking your fans. What do you care? I never understood that. It's like, this is not a competition, man. That guy's got a separate thing. The The bears and the chiefs have no beef. None. So it just doesn't mean anything to me. I like watching them succeed. I'm happy for those guys because they're legit. They've always been cool to me, so I like them. Do I wish the bears were better? Yeah. I wish we got our shit together and could do something. Might be next year. Caleb Williams. I think Caleb Williams is the man. I do, too. But I don't know if this is just a crush, just like everything else where I'm like-Don't care. I know. I'll just fall for it. I'm going to do it again. I did it with Fields. I'm going to do it again.

I did with Mitch.Do it all.

This is just like relationships where you're like, She's great, dude. Lawless. All your friends are like, I don't know, man.

With Caleb, I think a lot of people want to find reasons to hate him, but recently, as interviews he's been doing, he seems like just a good dude.

I don't see any reason to hate the dude. I just think when you're the top, everyone wants to shoot at you. Everyone's going to want to criticize everything. That comes with the territory. But I'm a fan. I'm in on the dude. I think he's the man.

Here's the thing, too, is that I explain it when everyone's like, What if Caleb Williams sucks? What do you mean? I'll just be back to where I've been everywhere. It's like getting into a warm bath. I know the feeling.

It's fine. It's like a new stepdad coming in. You're like, Maybe this one doesn't suck. I don't know, dude. We'll find out.

And what if he does suck? We'll just get another one.

Fine.

We'll just reset the clock.

Another Bill coming through the house. I think he could be a great answer, so we'll find out. I'm still rooting for the Bulls right now, too. I'm still on my Bulls train. Oh, shit. I still love them, dude.

Yeah. Wait, so have you met Taylor Swift? No. You're not that close of friends?

No, I just don't impose.

Yeah, it always is tough to be in like, I want to hang out with them. I don't really...

I mean, this sounds rude. It's just I don't care. I don't know how to say that without sounding mean. It's just Travis came out to LA a week ago. We played golf, and I don't know, it's old school with me. It feels like when we first met. It's the same Same guy, which is the only thing I ever cared about. When people become super famous or super successful or something big, the same thing with Gillis. I've known Shane for a minute, and I'm so proud for his success, and he's the same cat. To me, that's all that matters. If you're the same guy, you don't compromise the people that you really still have relationship with from the past. That's all that matters. Travis is the same way. I'm not going to be like, Hey, can I come to the game and sit in? I don't want to do that Yeah. I have no business doing that.

The big question is, how quickly did you hit them up after they won the Super Bowl?

I'm trying to think of a real answer and a comedy answer at the same time. Okay. I actually think I hit them three days later, two or three days later.

That's a good time.

I think a half week is an appropriate congratulations. Before the parade? Yeah, I think three days is probably what it was. I can actually look.

It's seven days for a bad loss is what I always go off.

Funny, dude. I don't I don't say anything. Really? Never. No way. Nothing. I don't want to even acknowledge it happened.

I'll wait a week and just be like, Hey, sorry, man.

No, see, it's like my buddy runs, a good buddy of mine runs Steph Curry's entertainment company. He runs their television and film division. And he's got two little boys. They're like my god sons. And they were like, We're going to go watch Steph play when they come to LA. And I said, Oh, this is going to be great. So we're up in the box and the Warriors lose. And one of the sons was like, Is Steph going to come say hi? And his dad was like, I don't think so, buddy. He's like, Can we go say hi to him? He's like, I don't think so, bud. I think we'll talk to Steph another time.

Do you go to Chief's games?

I've been to a few, yeah.

The playoff one this year seemed like it would have been a crazy scene.

Yeah, I've been to a few. I went to... Aerohead's awesome. We were in Denver, and I took my wife's family to a game, and Pat was nice enough to set us up in his box with his family. It's the first time my wife's parents have ever been in a suite or anything, it was just to see him. They were so excited. It was awesome. They were so stoked about it. I don't know. It was a nice little family moment. But we watched them play the Broncos, and then one more game, and that's all. But over the years, I've gone to a few games.

That is the best, though, having other people get to share in the cool perks.

Yeah, it is. You take kids to Disneyland, and it's like you see the parents smiling because they're watching the kids. It's like they're living through them again. It's so cool. But when adults are there alone without kids, no bueno. Yeah. Dude, I have a hard, steadfast rule. I don't get that thing.

The Disney adults?

It's weird.

Dude, I live in Southern California. When I see all these people that have yearly passes, and I'm like, You guys have kids? Yeah. They're like, No. I'm like, Okay. I don't think we I can't talk anymore.

Isn't there a Pleasantville neighborhood in Florida that they built a Disney community?

Just for Disney adults?

I haven't heard about that, but it wouldn't shock me because the Disney adults, they're real freaks.

I'm pretty sure there is.

It just scares me.

They care so much about Disney World, too. They'll write detailed reviews. Who was that one guy? That one dude, there was a columnist that wrote an article about how... What was the one that they changed? Was it Splash Mountain? They changed it because it had some racist shit from the south in there. They changed some of the characters, and this guy wrote this long long op-ed piece about how it ruined the immersive experience that he loves as a Disney adult. The picture of the guy was this big fat 350-pound guy wearing Hawaiian shirt, the prototypical Disney adult. But I do love the fact that... But I do love the fact that... But I do love the fact that the Any tent pole cultural phenomenon like Disney World or whether it's a big, massive show, you get people that are the biggest nerds that care about it so much, but they actually end up protecting whatever that piece of art is. Sure. They're the watchful guardians of Disney World, making sure that it remains pure and fine.

Well, it's like they would say the same. And to give them credit for Devil's Advocate, they say the same thing about you guys in this world. You're Disney nerds for sports.

That's true. No, every time- It's the same thing. Every time I'm like, Oh, the Swifties are psychos. And I'm like, Wait, I do that literally every Sunday. My happiness is dependent on another group of guys.

Except my thing is made for grownups, and Disney is made just for children. That's true. Sports are made for adults. Kids can love them, but entertainment on that high level of professional sports, that's for adults to enjoy. For kids to be there, too. You're making me feel better.

Yeah.

Kind of. Yeah, but also sports are also made for kids. And so when I get worked up, if they change a mascot, I'm like, what Fuck, bring back the old-Oh, you get mad about that?Pring back the old piggly mascot. Yeah.

Well, because what? Like the Commander?

Like the Commander, they change their name every couple of years. I'm like, This new name sucks. Bring back the Redskins. I missed that. I think we're going to go full loop in society.

We're going to go back to... It'll be even more racist than the Redskins. Yeah. Somehow they'll find a way. You know what I mean? We've gone so far away, we'll just loop right back.

I don't know. Chief Wahu, the Indian's logo, that one lasted for a very long time. Because he was awesome. Yeah, but you saw it, you're just like, Oh, yeah. When someone pointed out, you're like, Oh, yeah, I guess.

Yeah, it was embarrassing.

I guess that is true.

Yeah, but you know what? I think it's like our teams. It's like Blackhawks. They've got the okay to keep being Blackhawks. The Illini got the okay. I think if you get the okay, then it doesn't really It doesn't matter what anybody says. Obviously, Cleveland didn't want to fight hard enough to keep Wahu their guy, and that's on them. That's a reflection of the city. You got to fight.

Bad sports town.

Yeah, dude. What can I say? That's on you guys, man.

All right, so You're in a new movie, too.

I am. We're the number one movie on Amazon Prime Video. I kept trolling when we were doing press because they don't want you to say Amazon. They just wanted you to say Prime Video. But I would have constantly be like, when we were doing foreign press, I was just talking. I would talk about my relationship with Bezos and all that stuff. And you could tell the PR people were like, Please don't do that. Please stop doing that. Because I was like, I'll call them now. I'll ring up the B right now. But no, it's on Prime Video. It's me, John Sina, Zack Efron, Jermaine Fowler. Me, Efron and Jermaine Fowler, play best friends as childhood best friends. And we cause trouble as kids like we do when you break stuff, light stuff on fire, ruin stuff. And then we use an alibi. We make up a Ricky Steenicke. That's the name of the movie. Then we've used him as an alibi our whole life to get out of shit, to go to World Series games, to go golf trips. Finally, our wives and girlfriends are like, Where is this guy? Who is this? We have to hire an actor, John Seena, to play this fake character.Oh, I like it.It's cool.

Zack Everison, man.

Yeah, he's a good dude, man. Everybody on it was cool. It was actually an easy shoot. We shot in Melbourne, Australia. Pete Fairly directed it, the guy that did Dumb & Dumber, something about Mary.

How long were you for?

This is about two months, I think. Oh, wow. Then my mom, my family came out, which was rad because I was like, When are we ever going to be back? I took them down there and we traveled around a little bit. I had a blast. The movie's Come on, man. It's cool.

Do you think that you're inching towards maybe being the lead role in a big movie? Because that would be big for Gingers.

Not if I still have red hair. Yeah.

Would you dye your hair?

You'd be up there with Andy Dalton, just He's the king of-He's pretty good looking. Yeah.

I just think they're never going to make a Ginger a lead. Even when I see people buy our merch, me and Bobby Lee's, our podcast, when people buy our merch and they have my face on there, I'm still like, They're not going to wear that outside, though, right? Because my head's on it. It's an orange head on it. You know what I mean? I always get a self-conscient. I'm like, They don't want to wear my shit with my head on it. Orange guys, something about orange men, it's hard to lead a movie.

Yeah, but I feel like you might be the guy.

I highly doubt it. They can make an all Ginger cast. Like Willow except for Ginger.

That's disgusting, dude. Who wants to watch that?

Has anyone in Hollywood been like, Listen, you're very talented, but there's a ceiling to what you got because of-I think I had somebody tell me one time that they tested me on a pilot, and they asked about toning down my hair because they were like, It's just way too much.

Just nerf it. But it is, dude, on camera, when you see, when you go watch these movies-It's memorable.I'm so bright. I'm the brightest dude in the room.

You know what makes you stand out?

Yeah, but that's bad, dude. You want to blend in a little bit, especially... Imagine if I'm doing a murder scene or a death scene, and the orange bobblehead comes in. Who did it? No, I think I'm just going to continue where I'm at right now and keep making stuff. I don't really have the drive to be... I don't need the star of the film. Also, that's dead.

Yeah, it is a little bit.

Movies stars are gone, man.

It's basically just Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise.

That's it. We're working on I'm working on something right now that is a buddy-comedy thing. That I can do, a duo thing. That I'm totally into. But a single, the movies about me type of shit? No way. I don't even want that, really. I want it now. You do? Yeah. Dude, ever since you guys left and came to Chicago, it's just you really need that Fame bump again, right?

No, for you.

I want it for you. I thought you said for you.

No, I want it for you. I want it for the Ginger community. I want to be like, Hey, yeah, we know Santana Santino, friend of ours. He is the king of an entire generation.

If Bill Burk can't do it, I don't think I've got a shot.

Yeah, although you're right because once he shaved his head, he started to get more rolls.

That's right, dude. You got to shave your head. Then he gets old dads and all this stuff.

Yeah, you're right. They're like, Santino, we want you as the star of a romantic comedy, and we're going to pay you $40 million, but we want you to dye your hair.

Let me stop you right there.

Yeah.

You had me at $40 million. Yeah. You got your head off. Yeah, whatever you want. I'll lose a limb for $40 million. Bill called me a couple of months ago. I don't even know how long ago it was, but it was a very bur phone call because he was like... I picked up him like, Hey, man, what's up? He goes, Hey, how old are you? Didn't even say hi, nothing. How old are you? I go, I was 39 at the time. It was right before my birth. It was actually months ago now because I said, 39? I'll be 40 in October. And he goes, 40. You could play my son. I was like, I think so. And he goes, Okay. And then he hangs up. It was straight up just like, I need this information. I don't want to chit chat. That's all I need to know.

I don't want to look it up online.

Yeah. So I think he's joked about it before in the past. It would be rad if we did something where he played an older brother. And I was like, That we could do. A two-hander with that I would probably be able to get away with in Hollywood as leads. You know what I mean? And then you'd have to have the love interest and all that stuff be actually attractive people to stare at. Yeah.

He's the best on the phone. He calls me maybe be twice a year just to bitch about a play in a football game. I'm like, why are you calling me? He's like, None of my friends are watching this game. I know you are. He'll just be like, I literally will pick up and he'll just be like, I fucking hate when cornerbacks The ball's thrown 10 yards out there, and they're doing a celebration. Then they'll just be like, That'll be it.

He's like, All right, cool. He's good at... I love Bill. He's an interesting creature, man. He's like his own little enigma. He's like a guy I can't put my finger on. I don't really know how he moves. When I see him, it's always good to see him, but I don't know if it's always good to see me. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah, he keeps you on your toes. Yeah, he does. Always. But that's what makes him brilliant.

Yeah. I think he also is just such a busy, consumed dude. You know what I mean? That he's doing something. Right.

I love his podcast, though. His podcast is... It's very hard to do what he does. Yeah. Would you just sit down and just scream into a microphone? Just ramble like an hour and a half.

Dude, guys like us, we need someone else. You know what I mean? I someone else to bounce with. I don't want to just talk alone. I don't know. I'd lose myself.

Yeah. He's like the definition of dudes will literally start a podcast and say, go on a therapy. I'm going to use all of America as my therapist.

But it's great because it'll make himself laugh and it'll stop and it'll just be like, you're just in a room by yourself right now, and it fucking rocks.

I think that's his writing, too. I bet you that's got to be his process for writing and creating. I would imagine is talking it out, talking it out, talking it out, and then putting it down on paper. Writer. That seems like his rhythm anyway, because he's not a guy who's going to have a crew of writers. You know what I mean? There's a lot of famous guys that we know that have teams of writers, or they have a click of dudes that are always around taking notes, writing, and there's nothing wrong with it, whatever your process is. But I feel like he is such a lone eagle. He's out doing his thing, and then that's how he probably put shit together.

About that writing, you had a great special on Netflix, Cheeseburger. That's right. Thank you. That came out in the fall. Was awesome. Everyone should go watch it. When you finish a special, is there a little bit of like, All right, I was done with that material, or is there a feeling like, Fuck, now I got to go back and I got to reinvent an entire hour?

Yeah, you do. You have to throw that away. There's no rules to it, but we all adhere to the same thing. I mean, it's an unwritten, you dump it. It's like that. Not everyone. There's dudes that still do their stuff, and that's whatever you want to do. I mean, there's no rule to it, but culturally, I think most standups throw it away, start on a new hour, and you slowly piece it together. Now I'm doing... At the end of the month, I start Houston, and I'm doing just clubs. I'm going to get away from theaters for six dates, six, seven dates, just to massage this new hour that I've got before I go into theaters in the fall or anything like that. I'm doing just six cities, just trying to feel it out. Totally different markets. It's Houston, Tampa, San Francisco. I just want the polar opposite market. I was talking to my agent. I was like, Put me in places I'm not going to get the exact same crowd every time. Right. These were the best that we came up with to be like, I want different cultural, socioeconomic vibes, different parts of cities.

Yeah, I just think about it. If I was a comedian, I did it in a sick hour and put out a special. I'd be like, I don't want to do it. Everyone watched that forever. Remember when I put that out? It was sick. I did it. It was so awesome.

You want to be done, but also it's hard. Starting again, you'll You'll have little nuggets of stuff, and then you start to massage those, and then you slowly but surely peel chunks from that and that. But it's daunting. There's tons of moments in between where you're... It sucks. It sucks, dude. It's got to be in my mind how if an athlete is injured and they're training again because they know they're better than what's happening, they're like, Dude, I'm so much better than this. I don't know why I can't put it together. It's just the restrictiveness is there. Then slowly but surely after time, you're like, Okay, great. Now I've got 15. Great. Now I've got 25. Now I've got 30 that I like. You shave down and add. It's a great process. I think the beginning is the most painful when you're building, but also when it starts to click, when the jokes are new. That's my best feeling. Well, when they're still new to us, when they're new to you, they're phenomenal.

You get that pop.

Do you try to have a theme for your new standup when you're working on it? Is there one thing that you think about and you're like, I'm going to build my set around this one topic?

I think it happens organically. But this one's going to be all about Hamas. No, I'm kidding. No, this one, honestly, is probably going to be a lot about health, my health and stuff that's going on with me. I'm just having such a weird chunk of time in my life where people in my family who got sick or stuff that happened to people I know. Then I had this weird herniated disk that led to this MRI that showed this hip impingement and all this other shit that was going on. And then I had to go through all… Then I had to get… My heart murmur was messing up, and then I had to go get on medication. It was like everything happened at once. It was like I was cruising along, and then everything happened once. And then so I put away booze, I put away certain foods for a little while. I'm back on the booze.

This is scaring me because we're the same age.

Well, it's like-Yeah, 40.

We're both 39.

It happened out of nowhere, man.

Fuck. Your late 30s happened, and then you just accumulate injuries for the rest of your life. Where it's like you wake up one day, your knee hurts, and I was like, Well, I guess my knee is going to hurt until I die. Yeah.

Oh, I feel like we just golfed on the sim a little bit, and my back is killing me. I was like, I shouldn't have done that. Why am I doing this? Because when I play golf, I stretch a lot. I get ready for it. This was dumb. This was me sitting on planes, coming here, and then that was the dumbest thing I could have done. But you do get... Yeah, your body starts to slowly tell you this is no good anymore. You don't really get to do this anymore.

But you have a good swing, though.

It's okay. It's not bad. I've been playing some good golf. I like that people go sometimes online, they find my handicap, and then they just get online to talk shit.

What's your handicap?

I'll tell you what I am. When everyone says what their handicap is, get the gain out. Give me the app. Yeah. Give me the app whenever someone... I'm a 2-2 index. So that's pretty good.

That's pretty damn good.

2-2 is pretty good. Yeah, I'm all right. But it's like people talk shit online. They love to talk shit. Oh, that's all golf. Golf is the worst talk shit because it's impossible to prove it because you're like, When am I going to play you, guy in West Virginia? You come to my club, I'll bet a grand straight up. But you're like, Dude, get out. I'm not playing some lunatic from the internet.

We got a guy here, Riggs, who foreplay podcasts, and they do great golf stuff. But he started a series where he's just calling out haters, and he's golfing with them. Smart.

Yeah. That's the move. I wanted to do. I actually thought because of all that nonsense, I thought about creating a charity event where it's like, Come play guys that you talk shit about, and the money that we earn from it will be donated to a charity of my choice. I like that. That, for me, was a way to justify doing any of that dance, like putting up with their bullshit. So film it, have a crew of celebrities who golf, take on dickheads that just want to play them, and then donate all that money to charity.

It's to be a charity that the guy hates.

100%, yeah.

Something that he's really not going to want to get to.

Something easy to get, like kid cancer. Something that guy really He wants cancer to win every time. That's how we propose it. It's like, you should do that. I just started talking about it not too long ago because I'm doing this. I can talk about it a little bit, but I'm in the middle of negotiating with to go start a network with them. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you were out there. We missed you when you were in the Pro-am.

We won, dude. I won the Pro-am. You did? Yeah, we won it. Me, Pat Perez, Eugenio Chicara was the two. You do one pro on nine and the other pro on the back nine. Yeah. Then Titus O'Neill, who's an ex-wrestler. Then I'm drawing a big blank. You won the whole thing? Yeah, we won. We got the plaques sent to us not too long ago. I'm just pretty proud. It's in my office.

Were you a little bit nervous? Because we played in that same, but it wasn't on Pro-am day, right? It was before the Pro-am.

You guys played the day before.

Yeah, the day before.

Yes, that's right. It was a scramble all of us against Brooks Skepka, which was...

That was a lot of fun. Thanks for the invite on that. Would have rather that, but that's all right.

You can come next time. I want to. They're going to do another one here. I love that, dude. I think they're in here in September.

But we were nervous because we all stink at golf, and we thought we were playing the Proam day, and we thought there would be people that would be lined up for our shots. We were actually thinking we were going to kill somebody because they stand really close to the tee off. Were you nervous at all?

Not really. Honestly, it's also you're with pros. So ironically enough, it takes the heat off of you. It's like it takes the... You don't feel pressure. I felt pressure on the first tee. Then after that, I didn't even think about it because the pros are doing their thing, and you're really watching the pro. It's almost like you're just getting to hang with them. And if you did hit a bad shot, nobody gives a shit. No one's thinking about it. You're really just everyone's just watching what the pro is doing.

I wasn't worried about hitting a bad shot. I was worried about hitting a shot that would kill someone. Yeah, kill someone. Like, shank it so bad that it goes to the side. What are you going to do?

You know what I mean? It happens. People do get hit by, Don't stand there.

Yeah, especially when an amateur is going.

Yeah, that's your fault. Have you seen that clip of that girl online? That woman, she hits a girl off the tee, and she tease it up again, and she hits it to the exact same spot. A little kid is like, Make it stop. Oh, yeah. That's why we went to Riv. I just went and was following Homa around Riv when he was out there. It is funny how people lean their heads over the T-box. They'll lean their heads over the rope, literally. I was watching this guy do it, and I thought, Well, I'm not going to stop him, and Homa's not going to hit him. But how annoying is some dummy's head right in your sight line? He's leaning over the rope. That's why they have to put the rope. If they didn't put ropes, those savages would hug them while they're swinging.

We got a very important question about this. You're walking with Max home the whole time.

Not all of it. I did walk nine. Some of it.

Did anyone call him a pervert? No.

Okay, why?

Why? Is that happening? We had a problem. We started... Max is a good friend of ours. We started calling him a pervert on this podcast.

Because he's Italian.

He's Italian. Then all of our listeners started calling him a pervert on the golf course. Then we had a moment where Max was like, Hey, it's not really me, but my cat is so sick of it. Can you tell everyone to please stop?

We had to make an order.

If you do it, you're a scumbag. It's good to know that it's actually worked. No one did it at risk. Because it got really bad for a while. He be in a big tournament and people be like, What's up, Max?

You pervert? It was more like... I don't think you'd want to say anything to him. He was not giving me the what's up at all because I think he was having a tougher day. I don't think you'd want to check him on that day. He looked pretty pissed. He wasn't doing any of the niceties. He was not in a good mood.

That's the worst part about golf. Even the professionals, they go out there and they have a day and there's like, What's going on?

They see you staring at them, and it's got to be annoying. Golf has got to be shit, too, in the regard where if you're the guy, if you're the guy, and the other dude you're playing with, he just knows that everyone's watching you or watching him and not looking at your shit. That always messes with my head where you're like, This poor dude, it's like no attention given to him. He makes you go put. No one cares. That sucks. They're only watching the other dude.

To me, the funniest guys at a golf tournament are the ones that... Well, first of all, they wear spikes. If you go to watch your My favorite golfer player. I'm going to put my shoes on so I get good traction on this course. Then if there's a ball that goes slightly off the fairway, seeing everybody sprint to that ball to get a good spot to watch the next swing. It's so funny watching these grown men just sprint down a golf course. Just to get as close.

The cop has to push them physically away to be like, Dude, chill out, please. Chill out. He needs to hit. It's more annoying to me when someone is hogging their space and their phone is right in their fucking face. I hate that, dude. What are you doing with that footage?

What are you going to do? Breaking down the swing. You can post it and be like, Hey, I noticed you dropped your hands a little bit too early.

It's like being in a concert. When people have their phone out of concert, it's like a concert video is the worst footage ever.

It's going to sound like…

Yeah, it sounds terrible. You watch it back and you're like, Why did I do this? Why did I just enjoy it?

You're taking it to post online to be like, Look where I was. So other people can see where you were. I get it.

Take a picture. Put your phone away. I never got that. I just didn't enjoy it. I'm not above it. You're with your kid, take a photo, video. That's cool. But there's an adult men that are there all day with it recording all day long.Shame on these men.If.

You're going to do that, just get a GoPro on your head.That's.

Cooler.seriously. To me, it's cooler. Way cooler. If you got a head and the body breaks one where you... Or the camera that's up, that looks up at people, so it's just their nose is all You see?

Yeah, it's all fucked up.

I'm cool with if you're trying to do something unique with it, but it's just the same dude on his phone following guys all day. I think it's creepy shit.

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Yeah, the scoop of optimum nutrition right after my workout.

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Have you guys done the Apple Vision product?

I actually have it right here. I'm going to take it back.

Oh, you hate it?

I don't necessarily hate it, but I'm going to take it back because it's the most antisocial thing that you can do. So when you wear it, you're in your own world, you're on your couch, your family, everybody around you is like, What are you doing? Can we just watch TV TV together. It's very cool. There's some cool stuff that you can do on it, but I also feel like it's probably two years ahead of its time where there's not enough stuff to do. Sure. You can watch the same four videos.

But the tech looks amazing. Somebody gave Me somebody, O'Connor, who opened for Gillis, he bought me an Oculus, the original Oculus or whatever. I loved it because it was the beginning of the pandemic, and we played golf together because he was in New York and I was in LA. So She'd get on at night. I'd tell my wife, I'd be like, I'm going to play golf in the front room. And she'd be like, Oh, God. Exactly. Yeah. She would take videos of me like an idiot, yelling and laughing into my Oculus, playing golf with those guys. But after that wore out, I was over it fast. I was like, Dude, I don't know anymore. It's a little like, it's just I don't need it. Yeah. I got over it.

There's nothing that this does so much better than my computer or my phone. I already have enough screens in my life.

You watch porn on it, though.

No, you can't watch porn. That's the thing. That's what he claimed.

They're all that thing in the trash. What does that work?

It is the ultimate porn guy thing.

Yeah, that's the first thing I did in the Oculus. I mean, literally, the first thing was like, I want to see what it looks like. I got one of the videos, the 3D videos or whatever, all immersive and amazing. Then the second or third time, completely over it. Then you start to get really picky about the details. You're like, That looks so stupid. She looks like her shoulder looks massive because the angles are so weird. So you get over it. It just I don't know.

Then you imagine yourself wearing the Oculus in a room just jacking off with this big helmet on. You're like, This is sad.

Well, I would take videos of myself and watch it back later, jerking off with the Oculus on. You have to.

Watch your game tape?

I'm taking my form. I just wanted to see my form, dude. You're all 22. You got to get shallow on that stroke, dude.

What's the dumbest thing you've bought now that you have some money?

I don't know that much. I just a couple of bucks. The dumbest thing I probably bought in the recent years was Well, these were dumb. This was a stupid. I bought these in New York. I got suckered into buying these Travis Scott shoes. How much are they? I don't even know. They were expensive as shit. They were more than they should be.

Every guy, I feel like, goes through an expensive shoe phase, and they're just like, Why did I do that?

I like shoes. I love shoes. I do, too. But I didn't mean to want... This is how dumb I am. I have the Travis Scott golf shoes of these. They make them in golf shoes, these ones, and I love the ones. That's my favorite shoe to walk in. I was like, Oh, Well, I want to get the regular ones that aren't the golf shoes. Then so I saw the ones that I have that aren't golf shoes. They're street shoes. Then the guy was like, Yo, you know what's really dope is these black ones. He was chatting with me, and he was a fan, and he was cool. I got a hammered with the conversation. Then he took me up to the front desk, and I think they were like, I don't even know, 700 bucks or something absurd.

That's crazy. Yeah, when I say expensive shoes, I would buy $400 shoes. I'd be like, Why? I'm not even wearing them.

This is the dumbest thing I bought in a long This is probably-They look good, though. They're good shoes. I'm wearing them every day now because I'm getting my work done. That's the thing.

It's like, I have all these shoes, and then I found out I would just wear the same shoes every day. I'd wear the same comfortable pairs every day. Just look at the other ones and be like, What?

I'm going to wear them because I paid too much for them. I haven't done something this dumb in a long time, overpaid for something so stupid. But I felt like if I didn't buy them, I would look lame in front of this cool dude. You know what I mean? It's reverted right back to junior high. Where it's like, well, if you don't jump, I mean, we're all jumping, but if you don't jump, it's not a big deal. I don't jump. I'm a bitch. I have to jump.

They tell you the price, and then you're like, No, thanks. And you take it back. That's a bad moment.I can't do it.Right? That happened to me with pillows when I was in New York. I was buying pillows, and I get up to the cashier, and she scans them, and they were $250 pillows. And I was just like, Fuck, I'm going to look like such an asshole if I just say, No, these pillows are too expensive. So I was like, Yeah, sure. I'll buy $500 with the pillows. Insane. On a win. Then the pillows sucked. And then I had to live with them for five years because they're $500 The pillows always suck at that price point.

They can't be good. There's no way they're good. They boosted it up to make you feel like they might be special. These are no special than the regular Jordan 1 Lowe's. It's the same shoe. There's literally no different. It's just Travis Scott put his name on it, and they're a little cooler looking. So suckers. Oh, I'll tell you. Actually, I'll tell you some dumb shit I did. When I was back here and we played the Chicago Theater, I wanted to take my wife and get her a purse, a bag. She wanted this color of a bag. We went down on Michigan Avenue. Just as a surprise, I was like, There's, I think, a color bag that you like at Gucci. She was like, Really? Seriously? I was like, Yeah. She's like, We're not buying a Gucci purse. I was like, It's a little bag. It's not a crazy. It's just the color you like. We go in there, same shit. This is how much of a loser I am. There's this really smooth, suave gay dude who's just like, he was like, Oh, I love your hair. Look at the color. The color goes good against this.

He's showing me Gucci shirts and jackets, and I'm like, Oh, man, that's not... I don't really... I'm good on all that. I just want to get it to the person. Then, sure enough, 20 minutes goes by. He's got me buying a Gucci shirt jacket. I've never owned anything by them. I bought this thing. I didn't look at the... I gave him the card. We were chatting. I didn't look at the receipt and how much it cost. We get back to the hotel immediately to my wife. I go, I'm going back tomorrow and returning it. But here's how much of a pussy I am. I wouldn't go back to the Michigan Avenue store.

No, you can't.

I went all the way out to Schaumberg. Yeah, you can't. Because I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch. I went to Schaumberg to return it because I felt so much weird guilt that I was like, he'll see me, he'll think I'm a loser. Yeah, no, you can't. But I had no intention on buying it. I got bullied into buying it. Immediately when I saw it, I think it was like five grand or something. I don't even know. But I literally was nervous and I felt so uncomfortable. I was like, I got to buy it. He's almost making you buy. He's putting on my shoulders. He's like, Oh, my God, Look at the way your shoulders sit in this. I was like, I got it. I bought the jacket. Then, of course, I returned it to Schaumbert. But the relief I felt when I returned it. Oh, yeah. It felt so good seeing it come off my credit card. I was panicking. I was like, I'm never going to wear that anyway.

You at least got a couple of people that see those shoes and they know what's up with the shoes, and they're like, Hey, I like your shoes.

Teenagers.

Yeah, but that's good.

I've had a couple-Yeah, stay young. 17-year-old boys, young dudes are always like, Yo, bro. I love those shoes. I'm like, Thank you so much. I I bought them on accident, and I'm 40 years old. I feel like a fucking moron. Stay young. I don't do much, though, in that regard. I won't buy too much crazy shit.

I have to ask because you're wearing the sweatshirt. I know you were in Curb a few years ago. You're not in the news season, are you?

No, I've watched some of it. This is actually from my good buddy's, Malvin, the golf company. You know Malvin? Yeah. They did a Curb collab for the new season, and I was up at the Preserve. I golfed at the Preserve with Malvin for their Bing Crosby, Adidas collab thing. My buddy was Hey, dude, we're putting out a curb collab, and it's pretty limited on who we're giving them to with the Larry stuff. The first thing when I got home, I was like, If I don't get that stuff, I'll kill you. Yeah.i want all the Curb shit.You need it. Yeah, it's so sick. No, I did call A couple of seasons ago. The new one's great. I watched it on the plane on the way to New York.

How fun was it doing when you did Curb? You made Larry break, right?

Yeah, dude. That was one of those moments of my life where it validates you as a comedian. Where you're like, That guy thought that was funny. I'm good. I can die a happy man. I made him break in the room, and then on set when we did it in the room, the audition is, he gives you a character, and they give you a little baby character breakdown. It's probably like, I don't know, four or five sentences. Then you take from that enough to make your own improv your own world. I improv the world. I was originally going to have the role of the… It's the episode where the guy has a dog named Adolf. I don't know if you've seen that? Yeah. The German shepherd named Adolf. Then as As soon as I read the character, he loved it. Then he goes, It's not going to work. I was like, Really? I thought we were having… We were laughing. He goes, Yeah, now, you don't look the part at all.It's the ginger.The ginger. Yeah. He's like, You don't look like a Nazi guy. He's like, I wanted to make him a little bit look with that blonde hair, blonde-haired thing.

He's like, It's just not going to work. The Ginger thing isn't going to play. I was bummed. Then he was like, No, we're going to get something else. Then he made me go back in the hallway and read the plumber who fixes the toilet at Latte Larry's. I came back in after 15 minutes, and we just rifted, and he broke a few times. It just like my heart grew four times.

That's incredible.

Yeah, it was like a comedy. On the way home, I vividly remember pulling out of his studio, driving, and I called my wife, and I was like, I've only done this maybe twice to her. I've been like, I'm so sure that I got this. If I don't, I have no idea about my career. Because it went so well. We were humming. That it'd be like, I don't know how he wouldn't want to give this to me. It was flawless. It was like the rhythm was great. He was bouncing. I was listening. I wasn't stepping on his retorts or improv. I was like, it was so smooth. Of course, that afternoon, they called. They were like, Okay, they want you in three days. That's incredible. Yeah, it was huge, man.

I would assume that you were a big fan of the show. Massive. As you were coming up, and now you're on the show.

Yeah. I think he's… I don't know how to say this without sounding like a dick, but I'm a much bigger fan of him than Seinfeld. I think his line of what Seinfeld was, that's why Kerb was so great. It was like the version of Seinfeld that I wanted more was that, more so than the other thing that Jerry did. He's great, but it's like, Larry's Seinfeld is what Kerb is, and that's what I always wanted it to be.

Is it true that he just doesn't... Kerb, I feel like, maybe I read this somewhere, but he'll just decide, Oh, I'm ready to do a new season, out of the whim?

He took breaks. Yeah, He was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Obviously, he's a legend, so why would they say no? What executive in their right mind would be like, I don't think we're going to be able to do it anymore? Especially because HBO, it's like this. This is like fantasy land. It's like you're making what you love, and they get to decide. They're not answering as much to corporate sponsors like ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox. They've got sponsors. Hbo, they can do as they please. I think they were more apt to let him fly free. I don't know personally, but I imagine he just would get busy and tired and be like, I'm not ready to put something out. It's rad, dude.

That's the dream.

That's what we all want is to be able to go, I'm not going to give you something unless I really want to give it to you. Otherwise, it's going to be shit. Then you're all going to be bombed. You don't want to pump it out. The take a break thing is cool. I think more TV should either take... She should either just do a limited amount of seasons or just take a break and maybe revisit it or who knows? Whatever.

Not too long of a break, though, because there's some shows where they take such a long break. I forget they exist. I forgot there's a new Game of Thrones.

Oh, yeah.

It's that complicated, too. How am I going to know what's going on?

That's tough. Well, that also takes so long to shoot those shows. That's the other problem. Well, that'll be replaced by AI. They'll replace all of us and it'll be all AI anyway. You'll get it on.

Wait, were you on strike?

Yeah. Were you picketing? No, dude. No. I'm not even ashamed. The sun with you. Yeah, I can't be outside. That's actually fair.

You're probably the one guy in the Union who's like, Look, I'm not coming.

Me, Konan.

They're like, All right, that makes sense.

I I put sunscreen on when it rains. I swear to God. I'm like, Dude, you never know if it pokes through. No, I didn't go out and pick at the thing. Not to sound like a dick. I was like, I voted to strike. I did the thing. I wanted to... Yeah, let I said, Yes. I don't want to go out there every day. I just didn't feel like it was necessary for me to be out there every day.

It was crazy. The story about them cutting all those trees in the shade.

So funny, by the way. Yeah. Heavy props to how funny that was. They cut the tree so the picketers couldn't get shade every day. I thought that was so funny.

It was just like, yeah, just guerrilla warfeel.

Well, it was also a writer's strike, and I haven't been in the writer's union for a long time. I was in it for a little bit when I wrote this pilot, and then when the actor's strike happened, it was in solidarity already. So it was like they had already made the noise that they needed for justification for the strike. Actors were just being like, Yeah, let's get them what they want so we can work. Get these people everything they want. Let's go. Come on, man. Get over. And also, a lot of it was shit that was a little bit needed. The amount of money that some of these executives are getting versus what the residuals would pay out for these writers or actors, dude, it's a joke. I sent a screenshot yesterday to David Spade because you see what you're getting in your residuals. It sends you an email or whatever. It's literally one cent, and it's for his show, Lights Out on Comedy Central that we did. I was like, Thanks a lot, man. Really appreciate this. This is going to help us out this month. He was like, he has any control. But the fact that sometimes you'd get 26 cent checks is like, Give me a fucking break.

What am I going to do? And also that means to me, the executives that did the buyouts or the sell-throughs, I'm sure they got 50, 60 grand. And each little idiot like you got a shekel.

What was the AI thing that they were talking about, where if you showed up as a background actor, the studios would then have the rights to use your face? Is it AI to put them in different scenes or something like that?

They were trying to do... Yeah, they trying to dupe background actors to just reuse them in other backgrounds of other shows. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, they wanted to reuse background. Here was my thought on it. I said, Okay, background acting is a nightmare. It's super hard. You're treated like shit. They should be treated better. They cattle call these people in. They bully them around. It's in your 15-hour days or 12 to 14-hour day, so it's not fun. It sucks. It fucking sucks. You're getting to learn sometimes, but I I do think they're not treated great all the time. I'll be honest, I've been on sets where they are. But I said, if that's the case that they want to propose AI to them, we'll maybe give them a huge check to use their likeness for a limited amount of time just in the background, but then have subsidized a program where they can come to set and then learn and not have to be in the background, but shadow and follow and learn and watch, because a lot of people just want to learn. A lot of people that do background, they just want to know how everything works.

How the sausage is Yeah, they want to see the insides. I thought, who am I? But I just proposed in my own little stupid world of people I've talked to, I said, what if they paid them a big fat check and said, we'll use your likeness for six months. After that, there's a new contract, so you will be used AI background. But there's a subsidy program that the union would do to let them come to set, watch an entire series filmed so they can learn everything. Granted, I don't know if people would want to do it, but I thought that's a better use of their time than standing there for 12 hours a day being Where a lot of times you can't even see them, that they're filler. So it's almost like, I think you can service both worlds. But I get it. Once you enter the world of AI, you're fucked.

It's over. I read some of the AI scripts that people were trying to put out. They stink. Robots aren't funny yet.

No, they're not there.

Do you think robots can ever get to a point where it's like they can write new original comedy?

I don't know, man. I get scared about it. Well, I mean, people are always going to want people. I don't know. I mean, look at what's on your fucking desk. I mean, that's the looming future of like... He's returning it.

And I I don't like it.

But I think a lot of people that get it do love it, and it'll slowly catch on.

The thing is, the last two years have been Silicon Valley executives giving testimony, being like, We need to be very careful with AI. Ai is scary. Ai could end the world. It's like, Dude, you're the one that's making the... Can we just not do AI?

No, it's already there.

Can we just say, Bad idea?

Someone will do it.Put it in reverse.We.

Already have. Don't you know, though, if it's released to the public now, it means they've had it for a decade.

Yeah, that's true.

They've already had it. The government's not going to let something come out like this unless they've already been tooling with it and regulating it behind our backs, and then finally going, All right, give it to the idiots now. It's fine to give it to them now. You hear those stories from like, Dude, look at how long it took them to admit aliens. We actually have proof of unidentified objects. Now, after 30 years of them being like, Shut up, you idiot. There are no aliens. Stop it. Then now they're like, Yeah, what are you going to do?

They're there. Big deal. The craziest part of that story was that... This might be the biggest story ever that aliens exist, and that it was Tom DeLong from Blink 182 that got the government to admit it. Yeah, dude.

I know. He's big on pushing it. He's huge.

He's the one that got the Navy to release the videos of the UFOs.

There are aliens.

Yeah. Then everyone was like, Oh, Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend this week. That's pretty important.

Right. That was a plant. That wasn't actually real. They don't have a real relationship. That was just to get the focus away from Tom DeLong and the long and the alien. Yeah, he's too close. God bless, dude. Good. It was a good meet up, dude. That's a good distraction. It worked really well.

Yeah. Well, this has been great. I have one last question. Roback question, robackquestion, robackk. Com, promo code, take 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything, robackk. Com, promo code, take. Are you going to move to Austin like every other comedian in the world?

No, dude. No, that's not for me. If I was going to move anywhere, we were going to make a shift to New York. We couldn't. Family stuff, it just didn't work out. We couldn't. Then if I was going to go anywhere outside of LA, it would be Chicago or New York.

Come work in this office.

Yeah, dude. I know. But then I have to drag Bobby because our podcast is doing great, and it's like, he won't leave LA. Yeah. He refuses to leave LA because I told him, We can relocate to somewhere fun. Let's try something new. But the pod is doing better than it's ever done, so he doesn't want to leave. Yeah. Look at this. You have to physically make everyone agree on being in the same place. Yeah. Because the Zoom shit, wow.

No, it's not the It's whack.

It doesn't work. You need to be together. As long as me and the bobe are going to be doing our show, we'll be in Smellet.

Yeah, you guys have been doing a lot of live podcast tours, too.

Yeah, we have four left. We do Canada, we do Windsor and Niagara Falls, and then we end in Vegas on 420.

When you do those, do you do a whole different show, or is it just a live podcast?

We have an opener, and then we each do stand-up. We each do 20 to 30 minutes of stand-up. You get an hour and some change of stand-up up top, and then we do another hour some change of bits from the show. That's awesome. Audience involvement. It's so much fun, man. It's so stupid and free. They get involved, and we do trivia questions, and we do scene readings with them. The fans, it's been the coolest It's interesting to see this transition of they're stand-up fans, but then they also want to be interactive in that world of the Bad Friends. Yeah. We're going to Abu Dhabi in May. Oh, shit. We're doing Bad Friends in Abu Dhabi.

We've been offered to do live shows, but we We always struggle with what are we going to do? Do the podcast in front of everyone? That sucks. You got to give people more.

Smartlist does it, Bateman and those guys, but they bring out a big name guest. You'd have to just bring out a big athlete and play some game with them that people would want to see. Get Aaron Rodgers out there.

We also have consciously been like, Well, let's not do live tours. Then in 20 years, when we want to cash one big check, we'll be like, Reunion tour.Oh.

That's smart.Like.

Rolling Stones. Yeah, we're like, Hey, one time only.

We were going to do one in New York, but it was going to be at a James Dolan Arena. James Dolan has banned Barstool Sports from any place that That's real? Yeah. We had it set in everything. He closed it down. It was whatever Comedy Festival was, like the New York Comedy Festival.

But Dolan is the Knicks. Yeah. But he owns a lot of shit. But the Garden is a separate company. He doesn't own-I think he owns it all.

Yeah. He does? He can ban people from MSG.

I'm pretty sure he can ban anyone.

Because MSG owns a ton of other venues. I didn't know that he was the head of that.

All because we sold a sell the team shirt. Yeah. He got mad instantly, 20 minutes later.

How can we make it up to James Dillon?

I don't know, but I respect the fact that he has this big grudge against our entire company. That's a big grudge. Where he's like, I'm going to use my power and not let them perform at any venue that I own.

Does Portnoi and him have a thing? Did that happen? No.

We did sell the team shirt. Sure. Then he e-mailed the guy who bought our company in 2016. He e-mailed him within 20 minutes and was like, What is Then we also had one of our guys did hiss at him publicly. He was walking on the street and he went…

I got arrested at the dog show at MSG, so that put me on his radar a little bit.

Yeah, dude, but you get hissed at once in a while. Yeah, you get hissed at. That's going to happen.

I will say for everything that James He's stolen. He seems like not the best guy in the world. I would say that being a rich guy and then making a band and making people go see your band, that rule. Yeah. I would do that if I had his money.

Well, that's like Cory Feldman, right? He's back, but He's back with a band now. I think it's cool when you get rich and successful and then you just want to have a band. Right. Yeah. We should start a band.

Sure. Yeah. Let's do it.

If he has a band. I got a band. Actually, now that you say it, yeah, that's what I do. You have to come watch my band when I'm.

I would just It's like when an owner buys a team, it's like, I just fucking coach the team, too.

Yeah. Well, what do you do after that point when you own? I saw the woman that owns the Kings or is a partner in the Kings. She gave the Pope a King's jersey. Yeah, that's cool. Did you see that?

The Pope is probably like, thank you. The Pope probably has a closet It's filled with the stupidest shit.

I just think jerseys is so funny. At one night when he takes off the robe, he's sitting there and he's like, Maybe I'll put on the jersey. He pros on the Sacramento.

He's pretty good.

He's zero-stepping. He's doing the kid countdown where he's like, Three, two, one.

All right, well, everyone check out Santino when he's on the road. His new movie out, Bad Friends podcast.

I got a last question. I saw the video that you Bobby Atolf. How do you say your name?

Oh, yeah.

Bobby Altaf.

It was incredible. It was very funny. So fun. While you were shooting it, were you like, This is exactly the right way that I was hoping it was going to go? Because she's used to making people feel uncomfortable. You made her feel uncomfortable.

Well, because it was like, I just... I don't even know how to explain it, but they wanted me to teach her stand-up. That was the bit. Then I said no. Then the producer was like, Well, what do you want to do? I was like, I want to go golf. I like golf. If I'm not working, I want to play golf. So I was like, Let's play golf. At least I can go hit balls because my days are so stacked. I'm like, It'd be nice to just go hit balls, and then she can do an interview like that if you want it somewhere. So they made a few phone calls and we went to the range. And I was there like 40 minutes before her because she was late. So immediately when she was late, as I was hitting balls, I thought, I'm going to puppeteer this whole interview. I'm going to drive this entire thing. I just was making up my mind as I was hitting balls. I didn't think about it before then. Until then, she was late. When she showed up late and I started giving her shit about it, her response immediately put me in gear.

It was like, I didn't really do it. The universe was like, This is how this has to go. Because as I thought about controlling the interview just to give her shit, she played into it very well. She played into it enough where I couldn't stop. Once I started, I was like, Dude, this is what I'm going to do the whole time. It was so good. It was so fun to do, man. We're trying to do something else because I think it's an interesting play the way she does it. She did a good job. She was mean to Bobby Lee.

Yeah, I saw that tennis.

I said, I'm going to get her back a little bit. I have to go there and defend you for her. Even though I talked shit about him to her. I still was just fucking with her a little bit. I felt like it was the necessary thing. We stand up for our partners, man.

Did you see the one comment afterwards? It made me laugh so hard. You said the funniest bit was when you were talking about your assistance and you're like, I pay the woman assistant less. She She's way better, but I pay her less because you have to. Someone commented, they're like, If women get paid less, they should have to pay less taxes. No, I didn't see that. Someone responded, They're like, Yeah, that's how taxes work.

By the way, it's just the IRS commenting. It's an IRS bot. Just so you know. That is exactly- But you crushed that, dude.

That was so fucking fun.

Yeah, that was awesome. We'll figure some other stuff out. I just want to make more golf content, fun stuff because to bring more fun to golf because of people's perception.

We have an idea that we've been floating around with that you might want to do with us. Me, PFT, and Hank are going to eat an eighth of mushrooms, and then we'll have someone dressed as Toad in the foursome, and we'll just see how it goes.Oh, shit.It's a big idea. If you don't want to eat the mushrooms, you could be Toad.

No, I'd be down for the mushrooms. Okay, all right. I'm more down for the mushrooms in golf than I am for Toad.

Yeah.

But I do think- But just watching it just unwrapping. I like that. I think to throw a wrench in that, you should have a lot of characters from- Just popping out of the wood?

Popping out of the woodwork. I think that's what we were saying initially was like, we all get dressed up, the caddies all get dressed up. You're somebody in the Mario universe.

I actually agree with this even more. I would love to do if all of us played a Mario character. Yeah. That would be more fun if we're all somebody because then you're going to embody the character. Yeah, you have to talk like Luigi.

Yeah. I know.

Triple bogey.

Good Mario playing golf.

All right, so you're in. I'm in for sure. You got you attached.

Let's do it. Perfect. I'll do it. That sounds rad.

All right. Thanks so much.

Thank you, boys.

Andrew Santino is brought to you by Proper 12. It's St. Patty's Day weekend. It's almost arrived. Proper number 12 is here to remind you Practice makes proper. Proper 12 is brought to you by a true Irishman, Dublin 12's own, the notorious Conor McGregor. Proper 12 pays homage to Conor's Irish hometown roots, a rich and smooth blend of golden grain and single malt aged four years in bourbon barrels. Anything else just wouldn't be proper. Pour the roar of the St. Patty's Day with a proper green tea shot made with smooth and rich, proper Irish whiskey. Tell them I want a proper green tea shot. That's how I'm starting my Saint Patty's Day this weekend. On Saturday morning, we're going to be out on a boat. Hank and I hitting the high seas of Chicago celebrating Saint Patty's Day. Love it. We Die in the river. Dying the River. We're going to start first drink of the day. What's it going to be, Hank? A proper green tea shot? Yep. Proper green tea for the boys. Celebrating Saint Patty's with the original Rich and smooth, proper number 12 or new crisp and fresh Irish apple.

Okay, Firefest of the Week. I want to hear from Memes, too, Firefest.

Yeah, Memes are struggling.

You know what, Memes? Why don't you start with your Firefest? We did the 24 Pancake Challenge. Memes, you were the big loser. By the way, I was thinking about this morning, it dawned on me that we had the joke like, no one cares about your fantasy team. Then we had Dingers Only, which was a lot of fun. Then we were like, Let's just do all of them. I don't know if we want to do Pancakes next year. I don't really know. I don't even know who was on my team.

I think you got to pick one guy. It was untrackable.

It was untrackable. We played ourselves with this Pancake League because I was like, Wait, can I even name one guy on my team? Yeah, I picked all tackles.

Yeah, I think Jake had the right idea, which was draft just people that we know from the show. But I think we do one person. One person. One person Pancake League.

Just get all the pancakes. All right, so Memes, I left at 11:30. You had seven pancakes left or hours. How did the rest of the night go? You just kept on saying, There's no room. There's no room. When we tried to get you to eat. Yeah, so there was no more room left.

Then 12:15 hit. I took a big bite, threw up.

Oh, made room.

Made room, and then finished the last two. Did you throw up on the live stream? No, I had to run to the bathroom. I told you you could pull trig at that point. Yeah, he kept getting up and everyone was like, Don't let him puke. I was like, I want to go home. Yeah.

Because puke is necessary. I think that was fair. The eating challenges are always the same. It's always in your head, you're like, That's not that hard. Then the minute you get into it, you're like, This fucking sucks.

Memes treated it the same way he treated the stand-up thing, which he was just like, It's going to be fine. But then he got there. There was no plan of attack. He ate, what, seven pancakes? Hit a wall? Mega wall. Mega wall. Hit eight. Do you want me to do a eating competition to prepare for next time?

Yeah, there is really no preparing for it. It's more the only preparation is to say this is going to suck and not, I'm going to eat it in three and a half hours and I'm going to go hamburger mode and dominate this.

Yeah, I think he also might have drank 400 bottles of water. Oh, that's good. Yeah, because it did make you thirsty. That was calling him the water boy. It did make you thirsty. I think the preparation next time is just getting mentally tough. Read the art of war. It was a banana. He kept just being like, The banana. The banana. The banana. It did everything. It was you and the strawberries. Yeah. You fucked him with the strawberries. I think the strawberries were delicious. No, I think he was really good.

He was trying everything. We're trying to get our boy back.

I was willing to baby bird it. At the end, I was willing to chew it and then spit it into your mouth if that would help, because I was sick of just sitting there watching memes, being like, Come on, memes. Do something. It's also tough when you're watching, I'm sure the viewers feel the same way, when you're watching someone with just one little pancake in front of them. Yeah, you're like, easy. Just eat it.

Eat it. But when you're on the inside, you're like, You can't.

My body is going to explode.

Just eat it.

But you're doing the It's like, what if you just ate it? Instead of shoot it, we were just like, Come on, it's right there. Just eat it. Mind over batter. You can do this, man.

We were sitting on the couch being like, I never would have fumbled that ball.

No, easy.

So much pride.

Hold on to the ball. Just eat it. What are you doing? Mims, did you think about eating it. I did think about eating it.

The only regret was initially stopping it after the eight. Yeah, that was tough. I like the... It was funny content, especially because we had Max freaking out next to him while Mims was in hell. But I do think for future fantasy league, we have to do it where we can actually track it and care about it. That was our mistake. The pancakes, we had no idea who won, how they were winning. The updates were just like, Okay, Jake did a great job updating, but it was like, Okay, I got six this week.

Okay, so a couple of other ones we could do. Touchdowns. Touchdowns, that's easy to track. That's pretty easy. Just punt yards. Just everyone gets a punter. An injury league. You draft one guy that you think is going to get injured.

We also already have a competition during football season.

That's true. Good point. We bet every Sunday. We don't need to replace this with anything. Yeah, I think Dinger's Only was an idea that's going to last because that idea is we want to learn more baseball players, and we don't have anything really going on during the summer. That one counts. But yeah, I agree. Pancakes Only might be It might be a thing of the past.

Hank. And stand up.

And stand up.

Hank. Firefest?

Yeah.

I, two Firefest, both mine, are nothing crazy.

What did you do with your tree?

I stored it in a closet. I made some space.

Oh, so you did have space? Yeah.

As you were saying that to me, a light bulb went off. I had to move some things around, but it was good. I had been putting off, basically completing my move into my condo, which I moved into in June. I got 85% in, and then I was like, All right, I'm good. Then I was like, Eventually, I'll finish this off. Finally, I moved the tree, and then I was like, I'm doing it. I ordered some stuff.

I ordered a chair, different rug, ordered those to my old apartment in Hoboken, which I realized today.

Then I lost the remote for my TV in my bedroom somewhere. Oh, you're fucked. Two nights in a row, I've just been like, Where the fuck is this thing? That's brutal. Where the fuck is this thing? It's funny to think that Hank might have a lady friend over at the apartment. She's looking for towels, looking to use a shower, and then she opens up a closet and a tree just falls on her.

Different closets, but yeah. Of all the Firefest, losing your remote might be number one. Yeah. It's just You feel so helpless and you're like, I can't. What am I going to do? I have all my TVs on an app now on my phone.

Yeah, it's like one TV. You think it's easy. Sometimes I'll just put on a golf it or something, fall asleep, and But last night, I got back at 2:30, and I was like, I'll just fall asleep. But then once you don't have the remote, you're like, I could just watch this, and I fall asleep. Then I was up to four.

That's brutal. It's tough. That's brutal.

You know what else is brutal? I'm going through this right now. My remote is out of batteries. And then I'm just too...

That one's easy.

I'm just too lazy to look for batteries. And then you do the thing. I've done the thing where I... You have an Xbox controller nearby? I don't, but you take the batteries out and then you rub them in your hands real quick. I sat on batteries like an egg the other I was like a bird trying to warm up the battery. You put it back in, it works again. Until I've lost all recourse, like trying to MacGyver my way into having electricity, I'm going to stay downstairs, I'm going to watch TV. And then once all other options have failed, then I'll go upstairs, find the batteries, and now new remote. Yeah.

What about the TV you could put on your head?

Oh, that's in the office right here. I'm taking that back. I have the same thing. I just keep going back and forth between my TV remote and my Xbox controller. Oh, yeah. It is the most infuriating thing ever.

It is.

Because whenever I want to do the other thing, the remote is never in there.

It's also extra infuriating when you realize that we live in 2024, and if you just went on Amazon, you could have batteries in four hours. You could have enough batteries to last your life.

Yeah, I could order- It's so easy. You can order so many batteries on Amazon that you would get put on a terrorism watch list. It's very easy to do. There's also something nice. I feel like I've gone out and hunted for my own dinner when I'm able to store electricity to the battery real quick.

Yeah, I'm out of the not having battery game just because with all the toys for kids, we just have a drawer that has 300 batteries. Yeah. You know what? Max, remind me tomorrow morning, I'll bring in some batteries for you. The battery drawer. Solve it easy.

Okay.

Yeah, I literally live above a grocery store that has a million batteries.

It's easier for me to bring them in for you. I got you, bro. I got you. No problem. Okay, PFT, your Firefest?

Yeah, my Firefest of the Week. This This is a weird one, but I've got a car filled with Yeramir Yager bobbleheads that I'm trying to get rid of. So if anybody out there has interest in getting some.I'll take one.You want one? Yeah. Okay, 500 bucks. What's the catch here? There's no catch.

There was a truck that got hijacked today. All the commemorative Yeramir Yager bobbleheads.

The Pittsburgh penguins were having Yeramir Yager bobblehead night tonight. For everybody that bought a ticket, you're going to get a bobblehead, and the truck got hijacked. Somebody is holding these bobbleheads high. Or I actually think, I allowed myself to wander a little bit on this one. I don't think the bobbleheads existed. I think that maybe there were no bobbleheads, and the penguins were like, Fuck, it's bobblehead night. We forgot to order these things. We forgot to order, yeah. It's Jesse Smalette. It's Jesse Smallablehead Night. They're like, Well, we don't have... Oh, yeah, the cops. We called the cops. They're looking into it right now.

Yeah, find those bobbleheads. If they were real, because I like your theory, but if they were It's real. I saw a lot of people saying, imagine the guy who goes and hijacks a truck and thinking he's getting a bunch of TVs and it's a bunch of bobbleheads. I completely disagree. Commembrative bobbleheads are pricey these days. People love that shit. I think that was a targeted truck to hijack. 1,000 %.

When he just described it, that wasn't a coincidence. No. That was a Pittsburgh superfan trying to recreate the town. Yeah, it's the town. It's like two Jinders parked underneath the Heinz field with just a truck. They're like, Who's Kaui taking?

Yeah, and they just got it. Those will go for a lot of money. I think I saw a couple on eBay already.

Yeah. They were on eBay for like 300 bucks. Listen, if these are fucking stolen bobbleheads, that price should be 3,000.

This guy's going to make a lot of money off this.

It makes me want to buy one more knowing that it's stolen. Yeah.

A stolen Yammer Jagger bobblehead is something that I lust for.

Can you imagine if they did Instead of a bobblehead, it was just a bobble mullet, and just the mullet part of his hair bobbled back and forth, blown in the wind? That would be cool. That'd be sick. Maybe that's what it is. If they are real, we should purchase one. Yes, agreed. If you're a listener, and chances are, I think probably the person that would hijack a truck of Yammer Yager bobbleheads is probably an AWL.

It might even be the dude who's like, I'll hijack this truck and I'll offer it to the guys, and I'll get an internship.

Yeah, a free internship.

Let me say this, if you can produce a thousand Yammer Yager bobbleheads, we will give you an internship.

Absolutely. If you can give us one of them.

No, no, no.

Wait, wait. We'll bring in for an interview.

No, because that could be a lot of people could find it and buy one. We need a thousand.

But if you're the guy that did it.

Yeah, then you should be able to produce a thousand.

True.

Yeah, easy.

Okay.

Maybe even a picture of all of them. Definitely not the picture. No, we'll start the conversation. This is a disaster. We'll start It's a disaster. You start the conversation if you can get us the picture. You will not get a job or an interview if you get the picture. We start the conversation like, damn, that's a lot of bobbleheads. Boom, conversation over.

I want a picture of a thousand bobbleheads next to today's Pittsburgh Sun Times newspaper.Yup.Proof of life for these bobbleheads.Proof of life.

Okay. My Firefest, before we do Firefest, part of my cheese steak is delivery and pickup-only restaurant's brand, bringing your craveable cheese steaks and loaded fries. We're now live in all 50 states across 1,500 locations. Order now at pardonmycheessteak. Com. Also available on Uber Eats, GrubHub, DoorDash. We had to talk really quickly about the Africa Bowl and the Pardon My Cheese Steak getting put on everyone's helmet, the sticker. Shout out Billy, shout out Donnie.

That was incredible. It was Last Chance Uganda. It's a great series. It's some of the most compelling stuff I've ever seen. Credit to Donnie because everything that he does is awesome. But Billy was really the perfect person to bring on for this. If you haven't seen the clip yet, there's an all-time clip of Billy in the aftermath. Let's just say, Pete Prisca would not be happy with Billy in the way that he reacted to losing a football game. Yes. All Donnie series are great, and he always finds the side characters and random people that become the stars of the video. That was Billy in this one. As I saw the clip that PFT is talking about beforehand, it's unbelievable.

Then I watched the whole video, and there's 20 other moments from Billy in the video that are just jaw-dropping.

I don't even know how to describe it.

He was like, roi-raging on the sidelines, yelling at the refs, yelling at Donny.

The crowd was laughing at him. They didn't know what was going on.

His other players were scared of him.

Hank, he was passionate. He was passionate.

Caring about the guys.

No, it was great. It was Billy in his prime, prime form. He gave a great pump-up speech.

Yeah. So shout out Pardon My Cheesesteak and Billy and Donnie, the Pardon My Cheesesteak Africa Bowl. But yeah, I was watching it just as a fan.

Then obviously, I knew the Pardon My Cheesesteak, I got sucked up in it, and they were like, All right, we got ready. Then the boys started decaling all their helmets and cleats with Part of My Cheesesteak stickers. It was a very surreal, funny moment. The Part of My Cheesesteak sticker on the cleat, it was my cause, my cleats, but just for Part of My Cheesesteak. It was incredible. It was awesome to watch. I asked Billy about the clip of him crying yesterday. I asked him if he wanted to get in front of it, if there's any things that he'd like to comment. Ted Loso. Some additional context that he'd like to add to the clip. He thought about it and he started crying again thinking about the loss. He cried in the postgame interview, too. They were in the interview after the game, and he was like, It's not our fault. Billy's got his detractors out there for sure. He's got some people that love him, too. I personally love Billy, but There's no better Billy than when he actually cares about something. And he actually deeply, deeply cared about this game. He ended up making great content out of it.

Yes, he did.It was amazing.

He did. Okay, my Firefest is... This is the first St. Patrick's Day that I'm in Chicago since I retired from St. Patrick's Day, and I have the most FOMO possible.

You can just go out. Come out on the river.

I want to, but I just can't because then it's the time lost getting drunk because I know I won't be able to stop myself. There's games on, and then kids waking up early. What if you just say you're going to stream?

I'm going to throw a weird idea out there, Big Cat.

I'd end up doing drugs.

There's this place that has sports and beer, and it's a sports bar where you can do both.

Yeah, I know. But that's not it. It's not the I know I could watch games somewhere. It's the fact that if I was like, I'm going out for St. Patrick's Day, there's no stopping. The only stopping is not going out. I have FOMO because I used to love going out on St. Patrick's Day in Chicago. It was the best. I don't believe it. It was the best.

Also-i planned out my entire Saturday. Yeah, no. Going to hit the river early, and then I'm going to go to two bars, and then I'm going to go back to my house at 2:30 in the afternoon, order way too much food delivered to my house, and I'm going to watch basketball. It's the best.

Just do house parties in the morning, bars in the afternoon. Fucking best. Also, it's just March, and I just forgot because we stream all of NFL, and it's fun, and it's good vibe. March is war. It's war. It's just such a different feel to it than NFL Sunday streams. We will be streaming all the games so you can watch us basically nonstop the next three weeks. But I just forgot. We did the Pancake stream Wednesday night with the hoops, and I just forgot that it's like... I mean, Max had some moments where I thought he was going to kill himself or possibly quit. I had some moments where I was very upset. It's just a reminder that if you're watching us, just remember that anything that's said between the white lines, we don't count. Max was apologizing to us after. Like, dude, you don't have to apologize.

Immediately after the game.

This is a totally different beast. March brings out the worst in everyone in the moment. Once the game's over, there's no apologies necessary. We say shit we don't think or believe. We react.

My favorite was right after the Vilnova game, Max just put his hand out and started shaking everyone's hand in the room apologizing. The second the whistle blew. It's like, Max, this is not our first time watching you watch sports.

Yeah, and you left the room for a little bit, and he turned to me and he goes, Respectfully? Like, the most aggressive, respectfully everything. Respectfully? I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this tonight, respectfully. He stole my phone. Then you came in, PFT, and you're like, Who antagonized Max to get him to this point? Then Max just turned. He's like, Fuck you, PFT. I was like, PFT, you see? No one's doing anything. It's literally just he exists, and we exist in the same room as him.

Max looked at me. He was like, Why are you standing up? I was like, I just came back in the room. I just walked into the room, Max.

But it's fun.

You're getting to go back to where you came from at one point.

Yeah, they are my favorite streams. They produce just hilarious moments. I want to give a disclaimer to everyone watching that if you're like, Oh, these guys are assholes or mean to each other, yes, that might be true, but just know it's not actually deeper than that.

It's literally in the moment. You know what I love about March? It's like a series with all the different teams that you find yourself rooting for or getting, I don't want to say falling in love with. It's more like you have a bunch of one-night stands with a bunch of different teams that you deeply care about for two hours, and then you just move on to the next one. But a really special game in March will have you thinking about that one team, and it'll make a lasting memory for yourself. Yeah, Jolly Walker. Remember when I rooted so hard for Marquise Noelle? Yeah.

The best part is to further that analogy, you'll have an incredible one stand with the team, and then the next day, you'll bet them again, and they suck, and you'll be like, What? It's almost turning on the lights. You're like, What did I just do?

Yeah. We bet on Missouri first half yesterday. It looked like they didn't know how to play basketball. I wish that there was a plan B for me watching that game, where you just flush it out.

That was a tough one. I rode with you. That was a quintessential Wednesday night conference Championship week. We're betting just because it's on TV. Let's find something. Not realizing these teams are just the worst teams in the country. Yeah. They have not won. Missouri finished the season without winning a conference game.

Yeah.

But they almost got that 33 and a half. All right, Jake, finish us off.

Yeah, also very excited the next few weeks.

Best time of the year. When I was in Florida for the golf tournament, I went to the wrong hotel.

Oh, they didn't have a reservation. You minced it.

Kind of. They sent an updated email saying they changed hotel reservations for us, and I missed that email.

But it's all right.

Learning experience.

When you showed up, were they just like, this doesn't exist?

You just don't exist.

That's brutal.

Yeah.

It's all right. It's March.

That's tough.

Everything will be okay.

I keep telling myself that. It's March.

Max, we're taping this Firefest in the morning. Do you want to leave a We'll get a little nugget for the Villanova game? We'll obviously talk about it at the start of the show, so you already heard what happened, but let me just get your confidence level and maybe a prediction right now so that we can go back and laugh.

No, it was a disappointing year.

It was a disappointing year. Oh, it's over. Yes. Wow.

Didn't show up in the garden. It's a place where we have excelled so many times in the past.

Now I'm rooting for Villanova, so we can be like, Max never believed.

You know what, though? Max is slowly learning.

Yeah. Slowny. Slowny, He forgets it pretty quickly. He said last night afterwards, he's like, tomorrow, talking about Marquette versus Villanova, he's like, I'm not going to get angry.

Low expectations, low pain. That's what I keep telling myself.

Okay. We'll see what happens when the ball's tipped.

It's going to be 8-2, Marquette.

You're going to be yelling. Yeah.

I feel like you will have assaulted Rico.

Yeah, that's it.

The Rico factor is a real, real problem. Rico has reached the point where it's rent-free now, Max. Yeah. Rico is rent-free in your head.

It just bothers me that he just had-Your head is an open house.

No, What you say, Max, is correct. It does bother me as well because he just has every team. Max's head is a library. When it's your team, he roots for every team.

When it's your team that he's rooting against for no reason, it irritates you. He'll just text me out of the blue. You made a Twitter video at him this week. I did. Rico owns this whole podcast. He does. Listen, Rico, he's a content machine, and he's a guy that you either love or you hate.

Sometimes our full phone in Northeast.

It's one thing if me and PFT are going at it about the East as commanders, those are our teams.

But the fact that, Rico, if you were to look at our text messages, it's only Arizona Diamondbacks against the Phillies.

He's a diehard diamond diamondbacks fan. Yeah, you I never feel bad about needling you during bad games for your teams is because I've been in that seat many, many times. Game seven of the World Series Cubs Indians, Dave came dressed up as Steve Bartman. Oh, no. He had game 6, he was Steve Bartman. Game 7, he had a full Indian uniform. So it's like, I wouldn't do it if I hadn't been in there. Rico has not been in there. He doesn't have a team. He has every team.

Yeah. No, yes. He doesn't care about anything.

He cares about phone numbers. Okay.

Rico is definitely jacking off to this.

Yeah, we just did everything for him. All right. Numbers. Forty.

I'm going to call him. It's a great group of kids.

3. Max, what's your number?

20?

Oh, okay. 18. Max and I have been in a little war. Just 8. Going back and forth with our numbers.

Aaron Rodgers has denied being a Sandy Hook truither. That's good.

What was-Solute Aaron Rodgers. What was... All right, so eight. What's your number, Meems? Three. Okay. I will take... What was Jag? Are you 68? I'll take 68.

99, Pug.Oh.

There he is. Four. Fuck.

Fuck. What? What memes?

He's got three. He had three. But that really isn't- That's not closer than any other number. No, somebody told me to pick four. Oh, no.

I forgot about this.

Brutal. No memes.

It was a girl on a dating app. She matched with him and said, Hey, you don't have to match with me, but pick four.

Memes. I think I have to take her on a date now.

Yeah, she's her future wife.

This could This could be the start of the most beautiful relationship of all time, memes.

This could be the start of a script that PFT and I one day pitch to Hollywood that they laugh at and they're like, No.

Yeah. They have a stick a dime right off the rest.

Are you guys? Somebody made it. Yeah. Okay. See you everyone Monday.

Love you guys.