On today's part, my take, we have the return of Tim Wood's Dungeons and Dragons is back, very excited to talk to Tim.

We pick up our adventure.

That's the campaign everyone's been talking about. OK, we got a little bit of a recap as well to start. So everyone, if you missed it or if you forget what's happened, he recaps it and then we get into it.

We also have Goldburg wrestling legend on the show a little Monday Night Football clean up, a little NFL free agency. Nothing happened, hotsy cool thrown and guys on chicks. Before we get to all that part, my take is brought to you by the cash. Not only is the easiest place to send money to your friends, it's the safest.

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Decision twenty twenty. W w w. Some election.

Well, we started CNN where Don, Mr. Unlimited couldn't see the future coming amigos and Chris chat, he said Booyah shot Donald Trump, Jamaican me crazy boy. Me No. One. No, make a go. Joe Biden go seek, took an afternoon catnap, closed his eyes and try to count to 270. Meanwhile, Mike, the artist formerly known as Prince, had enough of these red states and blue states said it's time for a purple rain, purple rain and water.

Malani is used to spreading seeds, but she sure took a big win and proved she wasn't. And Donald had his daughters on stage singing My Trump match up. My truck, my truck, my truck, my lovely lady Trump's. Check it out. All right. Trump was awesome. All right.

We weren't actually going to talk about the election, but it is actually four. Twenty two. Yes. So if you hear biased, you actually are making it up because we have no idea what happened. We figured this show will be like it always is kind of an escape for everyone.

We have Tim Woods. It's truly an escape. We're going to Dungeons and Dragons. We're going to a different world.

Imagine that she lives in a fantasy land. Yes, we are fighting against dragons. We're we're sexually assaulting Billy's skull. Yeah.

So could it be father from planet Earth or America right now? But we have a regular show. Yeah. Whatever happened, happened. And we're going to instead talk some sports, talk some guys on chicks, hotsy cool throne fantasy land. Golberg packed show. Let's start with Monday Night Football. Little clean up Daniel Jones loves, loves, loves.

Throwing interceptions is actually the verbal meme. Old girlfriend fumbling the ball, new girlfriend throwing picks when like whenever he can.

Oh, distracted boyfriend distracting down the street. Yeah he's so distracted.

Boyfriend is Daniel Jones and actually I think it might be Daniel Jones, the model in that meme. Now think about it is where it's Brooks Brothers.

He's looking over his shoulder and it says Real Swag. And then the former girlfriend is no swag.

Yeah, the the Giants. And this is kind of they're the perfect NFC East team that in the first half on Monday night, I legitimately said to myself, I'm going to bet on the New York Giants to win the NFC East because they looked great and their defense is frisky.

If they wore those uniforms every single week, I would. Absolutely, absolutely. And then the second half happened because they do play two halves.

And I wouldn't say the Bucs won the game as much as the Giants lost the game. And I'm not going to put like the Bucs, I still think are very, very good team.

They're up there in the contenders category. I'm not going to, like, ding them for that because that felt you could feel it almost from the beginning, that it was one of those games where the Bucs thought they could just roll it out, roll the ball out there and win. So you didn't get a A plus effort from the Bucs and they still won with their game, which actually is a better sign for a team that's like very good.

It was a trap game. This was a perfect trap game. It was a primetime spot. Billy likes coming up next Sunday.

I like that phrase trap game when one team shows up way more physical than a better team.

Yeah, sure. Joe Judge, he's got the boys ready to go out there and hit somebody. They're not they're not necessarily going to make all the plays. But towards the end of the game, I was definitely getting major flashbacks to Tom Brady against the Giants in years past. Yeah. When Daniel Jones is running around on fourth and long, making those crazy passes almost helmet like catches, he was throwing the ball like seven yards short and then his receiver would find a little hole, get the first down.

And then at the end, it came down to that that last two point conversion that was close.

Well, it's hilarious. It's hilarious because Daniel Jones is so bad that his passes are so bad. It was pass interference, but the pass was so bad. You're like, but it can't be pass interference because his pass was so bad.

Right. It's like a quarterback that throws such uncatchable balls that it's impossible to call pass interference on them.

They really did. It was like, wait, that should have been passed first. But no, because he actually threw such a bad spot that it was going to look like pass interference no matter what.

Right, exactly. Like, can you imagine deeming a pass by Dwayne Haskins to be uncatchable? It's like. Well, they all are. Yeah, that's what they all look like. And at the end, it did prove Jason Garrett correct. He said that Daniel Jones, his biggest weakness is his biggest strength, actually, which is the most Jason Garrett quote of all time. And I guess his biggest weakness is he's not accurate. So he threw the past behind his running back and almost got a pass interference based off that.

Yeah. And it almost ended up working out for him.

I'm a little concerned with Bruce Arians, just with his with his health, I don't know, face his elbow glasses.

He has he's like a chameleon. He's. He turns into the color of whatever uniform that he's wearing at the time. Yes. And he turned bright beet red. His double glasses look great. Maybe it's maybe it's a matter of just the the face shield that he wears magnifies the sun whenever he's standing on it. So it gives him like a natural sunburn every time that he's out. Yeah.

And he's, you know, the hat the look was incredible. I'm trying to think whatever. Like it was a decent Monday night game. It was the going into it. You thought it was not going to be a good game. But the Giants did their best to make it a fun game. And yet that was week eight fully in the books.

Now I feel like we're turning the corner. We had the NFL trade deadline today, which is the most boring trade deadline of all sports socks. There was like pretty much the best or the most interesting part of the trade deadline was Will Fuller started trending and then he tweeted, like waiting, you know, like, see where I'm going to go? And everyone said he was going to go to the Packers. And then nothing happened because the Packers. Well, what was it that I think I think this is the first time that the Texans are really feeling the the loss of Bill O'Brien, because from all reports, the Texans were asking for way too much, whereas if it were Bill O'Brien still as the GM, the Texans would have traded Will Fuller for like a six round pick.

What they were trying to do was they were trying to get the like the Brock Osweiler type thing where the money became an issue, where it's like we want you to pay all of his salary as a team that's getting Will Fuller and the Packers like, no, we want you to still pay for Woelfel or even though you're using it. So as a case of like Green Bay, expecting that the ghost of Bill O'Brien to still be around to take on that that terrible deal.

But it is the most Packers thing ever. I can't remember the last time the Packers either acquired a player in free agency, like a decent player, like a big name player or traded for. It just doesn't happen. I think that in Green Bay, they just they like players that don't know any better besides the Green Bay system, which is like we're going to draft you. Aaron Rodgers is going to make you look good or he's going to complain because his defense isn't good enough.

He's going to have to throw the ball. You're going to have to deal with that. You don't like players that have experienced life outside of green. Right.

And then the Patriots have going for it trade for Isaiah Ford. Are the Patriots all in? Is this a sign to the locker room that they're they're committed to winning this year? I think so.

I think it's the missing piece and it's gotten on the flip side, the dolphins.

Wow. So the dolphins are throwing throwing in the towel. Yeah. So they have forty eighteen catches, one hundred eighty four yards, zero touchdowns.

OK, that's, that's a solid team that season. Yeah. Yeah.

How, how much Kate Metcalf have, how much does he weigh. He weighs. I'm looking it up right now. Two hundred and one pound.

OK, so maybe they're just planning on fattening him up, turning them into a tight end. Six one to one.

Did you see Florio's article today. What about The Patriot Way has lost its way.

Oh yeah.

For Bill Belichick, excuse making could result in players making excuses.

See, Florida is not a football guy because he doesn't realize that Bill Belichick is actually doing his best coaching job this year. That's true. And also, he doesn't realize that that Bill Belichick said, I'm not making an excuse, but this is the excuse.

It is. It is. The Patriots are paying. They're paying Brady. They're playing Antonio Brown still. I think they're still paying Steven Keselowski. They're like in dead cap space. So he's not Belcher. It's not totally wrong. When he said that.

I don't know. I did. The NFL cap makes no sense. You contract in the NFL.

I don't know what's going to look like next year either. The cap is supposed to go up after you of even saying this right now. Look, I don't none of it makes there's a dead cap space. People who are cap ologist. I don't understand how their brains work, how they can understand all like the ramifications of cap hits, cap money that that is incurred via signing as opposed to like prorated cap hits.

And then there's offset capital salary cap, the the.

All right. Over the cap. The the one team that I actually is kind of interesting is I'm pretty sure the Saints are like wildly over the cap next year, which makes me think that they already know that Drew Brees might retire.

What happens if you're their saints next year? Ninety two million dollars over the cap. That's a lot.

How is that even how is that even real? How can you do that?

Well, what's to stop a team from just ignoring the cap entirely and being like, do something about it?

Well, looking at it right now, like ninety two million dollars over the cap next year, that is pretty much Drew Brees has already told us that he will retire. So don't worry about it.

This might be Sean Payton saying a big fuck you to the NFL, too, because if he just continues on, if they let's say they go into next year and there's still ninety million dollars of the cap, then the NFL tries to either find them or collect draft picks, take away draft picks, do whatever you want to him, then what happens if the Saints sue the NFL being like, hey, you're interfering with the free market? We should be able to pay people whatever we want, then that case goes to like the Supreme Court, NFL loses its monopoly.

The Saints could blow up the NFL if they want your post packed court. Are they packing it? I don't know how many people are. I don't know.

That's and that's our politics. Suck. Yeah. The pictures of twenty eight million dollars in dead money, I don't know what that means. Seems significant. Dead money.

It's dead. I think it probably still spends handlers have 50 million dollars in debt money out.

I guess that that means my guess is that's players that are no longer on the roster. They're still paying. They're just dead or dead. Players are Aaron Hernandez, does he count? Is still dead, Monica.

All right. Should we do hotsy cool? Thrown me a nice, tight, tight show. Right. Hang.

Oh, I made one note. Yeah. On Monday night and it kind of bubbled over from the weekend. I think we're seeing a record high amount of of Chynn catches this year.

That's a rule that I wasn't I guess I had been aware of it in the past, but I was reminded of it.

Well, I think Shin counts as two feet. I think what happens is it's like when you buy a car and then all of a sudden you see the car, your car everywhere, and you're like, oh, my God, everyone has this car that there was one significant shin catch. It was either this week or last week. And then since then, it were so dumb as NFL fans that we know the rules, but we have to be reminded every now and then.

So when we're reminded, we pick up little nuggets and now we're walking around telling everyone, you know, if the shin goes down before the knee and the knees out of bounds, that's a catch. It's a catch.

The shin counts as part of the knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love to. Was around who we're smart. It was Dig's. It was the cornerback on the Cowboys. He had the interception. Yes. Where he caught it in the end zone and then his, his shin like Binte. Right. He had like a curved shin. Tony Romo was like I think it's just a cramp. But yeah it got down and then yeah I see it everywhere now.

I saw it on Monday Night Football. I'm going to be seeing it all year long.

It's like the little rules that are so much fun to to like try to mansplaining to know one. My favorite is the first at a bar.

If you're watching with your friends then you're smart as shit. The best one is on a punt when the punting team touches it and then you, the receiving team can't fumble. And everyone loves because you see a guy like Run in streak in and grabbed the ball last second. But why would he do that? Well, let me tell you, it's a free play essentially.

Or my favorite. What about you can't advance a punt that's been blocked. Yes, I like that one too, because everyone is like that should be a first down, which I do kind of agree with. But it's fun to tell her it should be on. I'm right.

Yeah, but it is it is fun to to do that with rules every now and then to try to tell everyone, Billy, you got any rules.

You think about making a football move. Yeah.

Making everyone talks about what counts as a football move. Did Gronk make a football move in the end zone. Yeah. Oh, when they switched when they you know, it was a great moment in time when they switched it so that you could push out of bounds.

Yes. And everyone's like, wow.

Like all that's pushing out about. No, no, no, no. Change the rule. They change the rules.

You're thinking of college, my friend. Yes. Sorry that you're too dumb to figure it out. They should make it. Could you imagine how many points would be scored in the NFL if if it was one foot inbound?

Obama's like because the body control in the NFL is already so insane. And to have just one foot. Oh, give it to me.

When I'm watching the college game, I always look for players like it doesn't matter how spectacular the catches.

If a player only gets one foot down in bounds. Yup. I'm like, I'm going to knock that guy in my predraft rankings. I'm not going to work in the big league. Listen, that stuff doesn't play once you get out there on Sunday, not on Sundays.

Yeah. All right.

Let's do hotsy culture on high school terms brought to you by Bud Light seltzer on the cool stroner, ugly sweaters, specifically the sweaters becloud with Bud Light seltzer available now at the barstool shop.

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Available for a limited time with delicious peppermint patty, apple, crisp, ginger snap and classic cranberry mix that all together.

It sounds like an ugly sweater. I love that. Some holiday punch. They said some of it. So they're going to send us some in the office. It's going to be great. I'm going to be drinking some. I'm going to go with the gingersnap.

I like I like cranberry around that. That's for Billy. Yeah. Billy's the cranberry guy gets rid of the you teperman patty. So we'll be drinking them on Cyber Monday, the BASTABLE Cyber Monday telethon presented by Bud Light Seltzer. So tune into that.

I think we have something fun planned for that. Maybe an escape room.

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I think we should have you remake the dreams Tic-Tac except with the cranberry Bud Light seltzer.

Well done. Especially those would be like two months later. That's perfect. Go viral. All right, Hank. Hotseat cool.

Thrown a hotseat is the warriors of the Golden State kind. Yes.

The San Francisco Warriors they move from. A San Francisco crew, but yesterday they released jerseys for this year that say Oakland on them. And in the tweet said Oakland is and always will be part of our team's identity. And like it's like the Oakland Forever jerseys. And it got Warriors fans really mad because they left Oakland. And apparently there's like a lawsuit going on that the Warriors lost and they still Oakland like forty dollars million for renovations.

They should be kind of like a dumb PR move to be like, oh, yeah, you know, we're going to leave town and then be like Oakland forever.

It's like that's it's kind of crazy. It's not talked about enough that Oakland lost two sports franchises in two years. It is heartbreaking.

I mean, they obviously the Warriors are right across the bay. So you can make the argument like, oh, they're still right there. But still, it should say Frisco on the jerseys, right?

Yeah, that's it is messed up that they did that. Yeah. I just thought of a really bad Kate Upton boobs joke. I'm trying to go there. Yeah. Yeah. Hank, you're right. That is fucked up that they did that even though they move kind of like the nets, even though they're in Brooklyn. They unveiled a New Jersey the other day. Oh, nice.

Nice get it. New Jersey. Although I do like the Nets. New Jersey. Oh yeah. It's also they're they're very sick.

All right. Khuza'a, I'm a couturiers. Rock, paper, scissors. Yeah. I own. And Hofstra, they're having their mascots play rock, paper, scissors, shoot to determine who gets a home game this year.

I love it. That's all they televising it. They are doing it on social media. It's just one of my favorite things to argue about. Oh, I thought you were going to say.

I think I know. My only question is how. Coach, I was not making jokes.

We don't make my only question because we are you know, we have talked about developing a rock, paper, scissors shoot for the play Basel app. I'm just wondering what the format is going to be like. Do you do? First of all, I think it's three Ross appendixes. First, attend believer's Billy versus Jake right now, Pessah three.

But Paper Scissors says, oh, there's no draft. It really was late and he still lost. I said, say, shoot, it's OK. Shoot. Yeah, I would rock star.

Don't say stop saying rocks. It's I don't know. That's New York scissors. Shoot. I'm no good. All right.

So go rock, paper, scissors, shoot. OK, all right. Necessary rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh, I want to know why.

One one rubber match scissors every time she says every time says scissors every time.

Oh I sure Sharon she just do rock. Billy did scissors six times in a row.

It doesn't know how to say rock, paper, scissors shoot. That's true.

I still one. All right. So yeah. Billy is officially the winner of that. Who's the better. You guys aren't either interns anymore are you.

I don't know. I think you are. Yeah, I got graduate. OK, all right.

PFG you're hot psychotronic. My hot seat is slutting it up. Light it up is firmly on the hot seat. Halloween is over Buki season spooky season's done and Roger Goodell find James Connor and Juju Smith Schuster for wearing socks that were too low.

They exposed their gambs. Their Cavs were out. Yep.

Victorian Goodell and the NFL says no, no, no, no, no. You got to keep those cabs cover it up. And so he levied a big fine. That's where my favorite finds that the NFL does is like when you're when your socks are not at the correct level.

Yeah. And if you go to high heel fighting for that, too. Yeah.

It's got to be right in the Goldilocks zone. Yes. And my other hot seat is Darren Rovell, because Nate Silver called him disqualifying only stupid today.

Oh, he got Terryville good. Or he got disqualified from Twitter today.

That's how do you have stupid waiting to be to get disqualified from Twitter. It's like everybody should. Everyone is an idiot on Twitter. Right. Do you want to be on Twitter? Yes. Yes. OK, you're disqualified from Twitter.

It's in the terms of service. Yeah. And so, yeah, Turnersville got put into a locker by the locker, but Dorival got pulled into a locker by Nate Silver, who lives his life.

And a lot like, get over here. You're in here with me, huh?

My cool throne. Is baseball staying relevant? Baseball is relevancy. So big cat tonight is the presidential election.

Maybe, but maybe the biggest presidential election in terms of viewership and voter turnout in the last like fifty years. You know what baseball is doing tonight? Baseball is announcing their Golden Globe awards to the election.

Way to go. Baseball. I could not make that up that well. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't surprise. Yeah, baseball's staying relevant in the past. I'm pretty sure we made a joke about them doing something like this on election night. They did it last year on something very significant, too. I think they are doing this on purpose.

It might have been like the all star announcement during NBA free agency.

I don't know why they're doing this. One hundred percent of it is. It's insane. Yeah. I can't like. What the fuck? What are you doing?

Unbelieve My other cool throne is dynasties. Texas Tech. Texas Tech continues the dynasty. Texas Tech won its fifteenth national well meat judging champ.

Oh, they are. The world's best meatpaper shout out to Texas, judging the judges, no, they actually have a huge agricultural school where they judge like butchers.

So we send them a pic of Norman. Yep, yep. We should have the boner judging competition. It's done with no Loyn.

I'm happy you guys remember when I did the I did all those neach podcast's. One of them was a Texas Tech grad who is like a champion meat judger.

He's basically like Billi for steroids. Yup. But just for animals, you not to be Bill, you'd be a great misjudges.

I you know, I've looked into it actually. You should, you should pursue the Texas Tech is the Harvard of judging me. I like it. Yeah.

I like I just don't get who is judging the judges. Oh good question. They have to have judges. Maybe that's what you should do. You got to judge to meet you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That person went to Texas Tech.

Right. Right. And so good point. It's right.

This business stinks to high house isn't good meat. Think about where's the beef.

Mm hmm. Texas used to be no, but you understand what I'm saying. Right, yeah, Texas Tech one for me, judging, but who's judging Texas Tech to win more than 15 titles? Who's judging the judges, the panel of the best judges and for where they go to Texas Tech?

What has that most prestigious. Yeah, the best meat program in America. Bullshit. I feel like Oklahoma has good meat judging. Oklahoma probably hates Texas.

It's like Desmond Howard on game day saying Michigan is back. Yeah. Like it's what are we doing here?

They should recuse themselves, like Herb Street and and Chris Fowler to that night's game. Yes.

Yes.

I mean, you get a scholarship for it. For me. Yeah. For like looking at a cow and being like that animal would be good to eat.

You know, it's once they're in the meat locker. Oh. So after they're dead. Yeah. They're judging them then.

I mean how hard is that like that. That looks good. I like.

No, no but I mean you're on the scene in Rocky. Yeah. You know, the scene working the meat locker was punching it. Well yeah.

I read an article like it was like in Sports Illustrated, like ordering on white lab coats kind of, but like punching meat there.

Look, checking out the meat slabs, I don't know. I feel like it's an agricultural thing where you look at it in a live cow and you try to figure out which one would be the you look in their eyes.

You're like, what would you be like your typical Belgian blue cattle?

OK, well, actually, something about meat judging. You would know that the most tasty cow of all time is heat wave and heat waves. Bloodline lives on to this very day. And if you buy you heat wave is the most billy cow of all.

Just Google, Belgian blue cow, Belgian blue cattle, cattle. It's the jacked up one. Yeah, yeah. It's the one on steroids.

But selective breeding for high muscle.

Who wants to eat the muscle? Texas Tech dubbed this spring by Sports Illustrated as the Alabama football of the meat judging world.

Yeah, this guy's a fucking beast. I am not going to say what I was going to say. Say it go off. I mean, this this cow is like, what, 2000 pounds? Probably like a tonne. Norman still has a bigger cow.

Well, it's not even close. I mean, that's a fact. It's a fact. Like Heynckes, little 10 pound dog has one of your dick pound.

Now, I should know. Yeah.

No penis to body ratio than actual mass ratio. I think his dog's dick is as big as Leroy's dick and Leroy is 20 times bigger and Leroy's got a decent hog, too.

But I should in the spirit of getting this story right with the capital J journalism, it was an abbreviated season due to covid.

So tricks on this. Important to note. Important to note.

All right. My hotseat is all other college football conferences because the Mac is back. You're listening to this right now. The Mac is officially back in action. Six games tonight. We have maybe my favorite bet we've ever created in the Basel sports book app. It is Lights, Camera, Action, where you can bet on the total number of missed kicks and extra points and turnovers in one game.

Are all games combined for that night? Yes. Twenty eight and a half is on the line. If you beat it, you get a free shirt even if you lose.

What I really like about the match this year is that big cat has adopted the action as that whole conference is now his team. So because Wisconsin I don't know if Wisconsin going to play another game this season.

So now you're just officially back is always I know you've always loved it, but now you're playing another game. They're going to play another game. Don't covid shame. I'm not saying memories of the city.

Yeah, Toledo. That's true. I got to pick up that Kansas City. All right. So yeah. Bet it if you. Yeah. Responsively bet one 800 Gambhir if you got a problem. But the Mac is back and I'm very, very excited for the Mac and also Cuba Rush might be playing for the Cowboys from central Michigan. Fire up chips and one of the greatest action games of all time.

It wasn't fully matching the Bahamas Bahamas bowl when they scored thirty four points in the fourth quarter.

You've got to give the new guy another chance. Yeah, maybe so. My cool throne is actually the Cowboys. The Cowboys are on my cool throne and here's why cowboy fans rest easy. Everything's going to be OK. Stephen A. Smith has declared that it's not even fun to make fun of the Cowboys anymore.

I disagree, Stephen Smith said. Marcus Spears, let me say this to you. This is on First Take. You know how I like to troll Cowboys fans because I can't stand those noisy and disgusting people. I like how he's taking. He's like, these people are the worst. I can't stand Cowboys fans. They're the worst. But I didn't joke around this past weekend because it's not funny to me. It was so bad. It was so bad.

What I saw from them, it was just a national embarrassment. I'm serious about that. So there you go. You, the number one cowboy hater, is officially laying down his sword and saying, rest easy, cowboy.

Well, it's because he didn't do his video that he normally does. After Cowboys loss, he said that he decided to throw out a mercy rule. It wasn't in my heart to do that to them because they're so pathetic. I actually felt sorry for them. But Stephen Smith is such a genius that by saying this, this is the most yeah. This is the most you could ever make fun of. He knows going into it that saying you're not even worthy to be made fun of.

I feel so bad for you. I can't even make fun of you. That's the most that you can make fun of a Cowboys fan, because really over the past 30 years, not 30 years, over the past 25 years, you've that's all you've been doing is been making fun of Cowboys fans for not being that good. Correct. It's not like they've been awesome and you get to make fun of them when they finally fail. He is just trolling him by being like, I'm taking away the very last thing, the very last, like smidge of relevancy that you have is me making fun of you when you lose.

This is this is meanest thing that we could ever do. Yes. On ESPN is ignore you entirely.

Yes. Yes. So Cowboys fans. Sorry, but that's. Yeah. I mean, it's I guess it's a good thing that you don't get made fun of anymore by Stephen Smith. Billy, your hotsy cool throned.

Before we get to Tim Woods and Goldburg Hotseat, Wisconsin don't covid shame because if they have one more game cancelled, they're not eligible for the Big Ten championship game.

I still bowl eligible because everybody was supposed. Yes, everyone is bowl eligible. I don't know what's going to happen. I whatever it sucks. But you know what?

I'm I'm worried about player safety.

Least you guys didn't have a, you know, husband, husband level quarterback this year. Oh, thank you for saying that about grandmas. He's a sophomore. So we'll have him for the and I don't think this year should count.

So I'm for the next three. He red shirted. So this well, I'm for four more years. Perfect.

At least the New England Patriots didn't have an MVP quarterback this year, but they had to give up on him and they cool through the Patriots.

So making the playoffs, they do play the Jets on Monday night.

So there you go to go to that. Yes. With a GoPro.

Yep. I think about that guy on the cat.

You've got to I mean, you can justify this exterminator. Yeah. You know, you don't have to go to the game or go to the Meadowlands and just find a cat, so like once you get the cat, you got to show up with, like, a bunch of tuna fish cans.

Yeah, open it up in the park. A black cat. Yes. To black. Yeah. OK, my cool throne is humans.

Wal-Mart has stopped using robots to use to do inventory because they realize that humans were actually just as effective and cheaper.

So cool around humans, which were cheaper than robots reaches all the way that they're just as effective human robots.

Yeah, the robots were human error, just as effective robots.

So make computer error.

No, but the robots were like six foot wheeling around like Dr. Who type who programs the robots humans do. So there's human error and the robots as well.

But anyway, the human this is like a meat grater.

Judger. Yes. Well, the humans beat robots. So, you know, what do you think on humans?

Do you think that the robots are just going to sit there and take that humans coming and taking their jobs, huh? Hmm. And interesting to find out. Employment. Yeah. Employment in general. All right. Good job, Billy. Yeah. Good job. Good job.

Jake, Jake, Jake, Amy. Yes. Good job all around. Good teamwork, guys.

Good job. All right. Let's get it. When we're nice to Billy, he gets so confused. He did a great job.

He did a great job. And I want you to dress up today. Yeah. On Election Day.

All right.

Let's get to our interview. We got Tim Woods, Dungeons Dragons Den.

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OK, we now welcome on our good, good friend, it is Tim Woods, it's been a little bit of a break because we had football season to attend to. But Tim regulations.

Yes. Thank you. Glad they all came back.

I like that there's the congratulations of football being played. I really appreciate that. So so we have I absolutely like the tweet I get the most is like, so when's Dungeons and Dragons coming back?

And we figure this is a perfect time. So, Tim, we need a refresher because.

Absolutely. Yeah, just give us everything exactly where we are and then we can hop right back into it for sure.

It's been a while since our last game, so a recap is definitely an order. I will give us the summarized version of our adventure so far, which is we came rolling into the village of Greenest, completely save the town, despite the betrayal of our ally bezerk Billy, who turned the dragon kind of against us. We did save the village of Greenest from the attack of the cult of the Dragon, then kind of went after the cult to their home turf, where we discovered that there were some prisoners to be freed.

We did save a Griffin whose name was Blake. We also fought a revived version of Bezerk, or Billy, who had been summoned by the Dragon cult against us, made short work of him at the end of the day, and then more of like a long, torturous project that we had.

And we certainly took our time disposing of his corpse.

It was the battle was short. The disassembly of his her did take some time. And actually, I did want to get a confirmation on this unless I made a mistake. I believe it was the Griffin who devoured Berserker Billy's head. If you're wrong about that. Yeah, correct me.

And did he did he pass the head out to the poop to head out yet, or is he still digesting that?

It's interesting you should say that, because one thing I would note, as it were starting today, is that we are starting to hear a muffled sound from out of Blake, the Griffin's stomach area. And depending on what actions we were to take, who knows what that sound might develop into. But it sounds like a muffled voice kind of coming from inside the Griffin, for sure. And in theory, we had managed to escape not just with a new Griffin friend and a disassembled Berserker Billy pieces we did manage to grab from a creature known as the Roper who is guarding these this hatchery.

We had managed to grab not one, not two, not three, but a total of eight dragon eggs as various characters ran through grabbing eggs on the way out.

We have escaped from this dragon hatchery with a total of eight different multicolored eggs, eggs of all different scaled hues. And at the very least, we know this, that we are escaping with a small fortune worth of eggs if we were to decide to sell these items. Otherwise, there is many other uses that we could make out of these particular items that we have just acquired. But we are high tailing it into the woods out of this kind of back exit, out of the cult's hatchery.

And by all accounts, we think that they have not. When we set the guard drakes, the minions that we had turned to our side after them, they were busy fighting those guard while we made good on our escape. And I would kind of start ups today camping, as it were. After a long day of running from the Dragon cult, we are now definitely safe from any pursuit with the dragon eggs in tow. And we're going to have to make a tough decision as we sit around the campfire.

This is where our adventure would start. We've got Norm the Barbarian, Wayne the Bard, Urlich, the Warlock and Kick the Wizard all gathered around with these dragon eggs near the fire. And I will say that we're all No. One, no longer level three. We've just bumped up from level three to level four, which gave us a few more hit points and a few more little powers that I'll highlight along the way. I would start by letting us know that we're also hearing some noise south of our campsite.

There's kind of a crashing noise. We're also hearing a rustling from a very much closer Bush directly to the west of us.

Who are we would ask, what would people want to be doing right now or what would you be discussing around the campfire?

Might not be a bad idea to to crack open one of those dragon eggs, make an omelet. Yes. Yeah. Can gain power. Can we do that?

You absolutely could go to one of the dragon eggs. Now, I want to highlight there's eight different dragon eggs. I want I want to point out that one of them is the color red.

One is blue and one is green. Two are black, two are white and one is a rainbow, a prismatic colored egg with all the green taste.

I know. I think what we do is to put in effort of fairness and equality. I think we crack one of the white eggs in one of the black eggs because we have two of both. So we're not losing now. We have all the colors in the rainbow and we've eaten the black and white egg.

Those are the two that you have. Extra. There we go. Yeah. Can I just say that I so dearly missed you saying the word? Absolutely, yes, it's music to my ears. It's always a pleasure.

I tell people all the time it's a fun game where we just affirm everything we're going to do. Never a wrong answer. There just might be interesting consequences. And in this particular case, as you are approaching these eggs and picking them up and then carrying them over to the campfire, with all intents of you're either going to just crack these open right now or maybe cook them or something, suddenly you do hear more crashing distantly from the south and then from that Bush to the west, there's actually a voice calling out of the bush crying out, no, no, no, the egg, please, please don't, don't.

And it's a it's a female voice. A human woman is emerging from out of the bush. She is wearing these whitish silver ish robes. It doesn't look like she's been traveling through the woods for a long time. Her robes have really nice and trees. I said, please, please don't don't just break them. Don't just destroy them. They're valuable. They're precious.

Can she hatch them? But Khaleesi. Oh, oh, good question, Hank. So can we can she sit on these eggs for us?

She when you ask her that, this woman laughs and says, no, you don't. Well, you don't sit on them here. Watch watch the the white egg.

You should place far away from the fire if you want it to hatch. It's a coal dragon. It's not going to like those flames and that black dragon egg. I can I can help you with that. She reaches for the egg. Are you offering up the egg?

Yeah. Are we are we just giving it to her. Do you trust trust her. Is she seems pretty down to clown. Is she like the coolest chick.

If anyone is not sure whether they trust her, you are free to roll a twenty to make an insight.

I want you to in the bottom right hand side. Wow. I want to just be like pfft is trying to kill the vibe. Care enough to.

Yeah. Ten. I got a ten. Jesus man. And wait the police like your insight. Skill is plus zero I'm sorry to say. Yeah. You just got a flat ten on that as far as you can tell. She just cares about these eggs. She seems, she seems cool.

Hmm. Yeah. Here's the egg. OK, also she's attractive on track record that I would like to tell her sorry that pfft the barge just bothered you.

I just want to say that to her. Absolutely.

She's like fix it off. She's just staring at the egg. She seems to be barely even paying attention to like anything people are saying to her. She just does this this poor baby. Oh well we need some kind of marsh gas or swamp water or somewhat best first class.

And her brought her over here.

If we can get some kind of swamp water, that's really the environment. This egg is going to want you. You weren't planning on eating this thing, were you?

Oh, no, no, no. Can I can I just tell her that I'll just say, like, out loud to to Wayne. You're Wayne right now. I'm Norm.

You know, I'm I guess I want to say out loud to Norm. Norm, it's so cool that you know how to handle, say, because you've got a baby at home and you've got to make sure that you're taking good care of it. I just want to let I want to let Norm know that in front of the girl.

Mm hmm.

That's that's really kind of she seems like she's focused on her eggs right now. In fact, moving on to number two, grabbing some of the others.

OK, so we need some swamp water. Is that we now I don't want to give all of our eggs. I will give I go outside with you a little bit. Let's let her try to hatch a couple of these. Let's not give up every egg that feels dangerous.

Absolutely.

She's going to she's going to hopefully try to take the white in the black egg that you were about to do something with. And she's moving the white egg far away from the fire right now. The black egg, you see her starting to, like, dig a trench almost. And it's obvious that she knows exactly how to hatch these different eggs. She's looking at the others making plans in her head. Wayne, the Bard would be able to tell that even with a ten right now, but with the ten, you can also tell this.

There's another crash to the south. And then she turns and looks in that direction and she says, did did you all hear that? And with a ten, you know, she's asking us if we heard that, but she heard it very clearly. And she knows something about that crashing that she's not saying.

It's it sounds like you remember in Jurassic Park when Raptors would hunt and there would be one to the side that distracts you. Well, the other one comes at you. I feel like this chick wanted this chick is bad news. Oh, OK. She's bad news. Any good?

Since you only got a ten on incite, anybody else could try to rule in sight as well and see how they do on that. Otherwise you could try to like persuade her or intimidate her if you want her to spill more info. Right now she seems like she's being honest with us.

OK, I'll roll. Very worried about that crash. Fifteen, fifteen if and with a fifteen.

I know you've got a little bit of bonus on that.

It looks like a plus two on this norm and no, only a plus one, but still a six is enough that yes, you can tell that she knows exactly what the crashing noise is to the south.

She's very worried about it.

You can tell sincerely you think she's worried about it, but she's not saying more about what the crashing noise is because she is hiding something from us.

You don't know what she's hiding a secret.

You want to you want to see me. She knows what that thing to S is.

You want that you want to send our journalists there to see if you can do some reporting for us. Yeah. Why don't you go in. There is jakks maicon.

Trust us. There we go. I will go into the field for the team. Yeah.

Let's listen to you. Let's embed you with this woman. Go find out. All right.

You start to head to the south where that crashing is coming from KAKE. Is that right. Yeah. If you're approaching cautiously, you could either use your stealth, which is only a plus three, or you could use your your perception is. Also plus three, my mistake. So either way, you can roll a 20 plus three to see if you can approach this noise without being seen or heard yourself by whatever it is.

Here we go. D 20 plus three. Eleven. OK, and that is that before the plus three. 14. So it's a 14 total with a 14.

You are moving into a clearing where you see some trees have been knocked over and there's a hazy green gas that is floating in the air. It seems it was not in other parts of the forest that you are moving through.

And then suddenly something pokes its head out from around a tree.

It is a dragon that is the size of a large horse spreading its wings, stepping out from around the tree. It has green scales all over its body and kind of a very dinosaur like fin kind of growing out of the top of its back. It is a very Jurassic Park type moment, as you realize that this dragon has you in its sights and it's starting to slither closer to you, moving on all four of its limbs.

What do you do, Kate? Do I have any powers? Hey, you got spotted. What powers do I have?

You have a lot of spells at your disposal. I want to warn you right now that if you start moving full speed, you'll move quicker. If you move and then also cast a spell, you'll move a little bit slower. But maybe you'll slow this dragon down and you do have ice magic spells that can slow creatures down, who have fire magic spells that usually deal the most damage. Also, since you've leveled up, you would have access to new spells, including a spell called Earth Bind, that anchors flying creatures to the ground that you can try to use that we're going for that.

Yeah, absolutely.

You know, some things starting to spread its wings and you think it's a lot faster flying than it is on the ground. So suddenly you start to cast your earth by and spell these yellowish tendrils, come leaping out of the ground and wrap up the wings of this creature. And now I need to roll a saving throw. As the dragon struggles, it is trying to break free of the earth bind spell.

I am sorry to say kac that I just rolled acritical hit a drawing on the die.

The Dragon with barely any efforts flexes its wings and there is a popping sound like rubber bands snapping and your earth spell is completely broken. The Dragon says in draconic which I know your character speaks well, that didn't go so well and starts laughing at you. You can tell that this is a female young dragon.

And if you want to know more facts about it, you do have very good Arkana. If there's if you feel like information right now is important, you still have a chance to roll in Arkana check before your turn is there.

Let's learn more about this. I just I wanted on the record, this is a time out real quick. Bill is in the room. He's obviously dead like six different times. But Tim, he has his headphones in. And when you said it's a very young female dragon, his head popped up.

He noticed that. I say we noticed from inside the Griffin's stomach, like there's a lump that's kind of turning into something inside of it.

Somebody gets his attention has been very short, little internal boner, depending on how much of what what exactly we feed.

The Griffin will determine whether or not the Griffin vomits up any any items. But so far it is only muffled noises we are hearing from the Griffin Cook.

You can try your Arkana check plus five. You have upgraded to a plus six on. Oh, now.

All right, that's a crazy five crazy toss a six.

I'll tell you the basic information with a plus six. Got an eleven. So the basic information is this. This is a young green dragon and you believe that green dragons are poison dragons. They are forest dragons, but their element is poison. And that means they breathe a poisonous breath. That is what these green, hazy fumes are in the air and they are immune to poison. So, you know, not to use poison damage against a green dragon.

But that is the only information, you know, so far about this dragon.

And since the dragon has spotted you, I'm going to need us to roll into initiative. Now, I'm happy to say the dragon roll bad on initiative, but each of us are going to need to roll a D twenty and I will tell us what bonus to add. Most of us, actually, all of us have a plus two bonus on this, except cake has a plus three bonus on this twenty and a D twenty one of your results. Oh Wayne was that you with that money.

You got a twenty two in Wayne. You almost definitely be leaping into action first.

OK, I got a ten six. A ten and that's a twelve total for Norm then that's good news.

And how did you do cake six. Out of this going straight up, and that's the name I'm literally using my life for you guys, and you're treating me, like I say, to just be better. It's a nine total.

The good news is you'll go ahead of the dragon, but not ahead of your teammates. And let me ask how Erlik, the warlock, did.

I got a four.

Oh, again, you're going ahead of the dragon. That's the good news. But right now, of the teammates, you are going to be the last to react. Now, good job being on your turn.

First you would be leaping into action. I would say that right now cake is kind of one move away from you so you could use your move to catch up to him. Then you have your action to cast a spell or do an attack, and you still have your bonus action to inspire somebody if you would like to inspire anybody in this situation.

So I think it's you. Is that right? Yeah, that's at the bar. So yeah. Roll the twenty. Actually, I think I would like to I really want to still impress this chick.

She seems like she's cool.

Can I get anything after you.

Can I tame the dragon in front of her and show her like you know, I'm like a wild stallion has been tamed underneath my my spells and then she'll get really impressed and want to go hang out with me, maybe get a couple of flagons ale later. Absolutely.

So I'll ask you, there's two ways you could do this. You could either try animal handling the skill, which would probably very much offend a dragon who is a talking sentient creature. You can try to persuade it with your very good deception skill or you have one spell called suggestion charm person. Your normal spell for hypnotizing people doesn't work against dragons, but suggestion would. And that's exactly like Jedi mind trick. Basically you go, I think you should do this.

And it's a long it's a reasonable course of action and the dragon fails at saving throw. Then it is going to obey whatever that suggestion.

You know what I want to do? I want to introduce this dragon to Blake Griffin. I want to introduce him and maybe try to set them up together. I feel like maybe maybe they would get along really well. All right.

Yeah. I mean, so far you can tell Kate did determine this is a female dragon. Blake is a male. Griffin, you're not sure how that works, but we'll find out if it is a reasonable suggestion in just a moment. And so you're trying to set the two of them up. Do you have a specific wording on what you're saying to this dragon?

Yeah, my friend over there thinks you're really cute. OK, that's great.

Like, excellent. All right. So let's see how this saving throw goes. And with a total of an eight on the saving throw, that is not a success against your spell. Saved the dragon looks and then does a double take. And then you see her raise one eyebrow and she doesn't say anything. But, you know, she is considering what wide is this?

Why is this Griffin like me and she starts to spread her wings to make them look more majestic. She's turning kind of like a cat showing off different like my my scales are quite gleaming, are they not? And it seems like she is more intrigue than definitely interested, but curious about why exactly this Griffin might be feeling this way. We've got the dragon very distracting, to say the least. And depending on what we do on our next turn, we could get this dragon more on our side or deeper into this relationship.

Perhaps what's interesting is Naum would be up next.

Now, Norm, you don't have to do anything in theory or maybe not the person to be leaping in to persuade the dragon. But you could try if you want to talk to this dragon and not make them put us back into a fight necessarily. But up to you, whatever you'd like to do.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm the if the dragon wants to eat us, I'm the first person in line, right?

Yeah.

In theory, Erlik, the warlock is very bite sized of all of our characters for sure. I'd also point out the Urlich is our other very persuasive character.

So I use my weight as a mother. Know whose turn is it?

Norm's sorry. You got you got your brain. Yeah. Pick out normalness. You should just smack him. Yeah.

Can I walk out of here like an open handed slap or Alex getting out of line right now.

No, I want to. I want to. I want to kill this dragon. You can definitely leap in to attack the dragon. I'm going to remain distracted by the Griffin still a little bit so you can still attack.

I mean, we have dragons. Yeah, but you see Block and Blake. Yeah, but I don't want I don't want Heynckes. Right. I'm trying to I'm being a good team player. Do you think is at risk. Your little bitch in the dragon could kill him in like he's bitts. He's like a little bite sized muffin.

He's an moose bush and Billy is inside Blake's stomach right now. I, I would almost like for Billy to see this new dragon get re horny again and then have the dragon just absolutely roast them and kill him again. I want to keep getting dead. Yeah. But he's inside Blake's stomach.

So what do you want me to do. That's fine. Kill it. No I'll do whatever you want to do is kill the dragon. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Do you want me to cut.

Can I cut Billy out of the the griffin. You're going to cut him out. No, I'll cut him out. I'll cut him out of the Griffin stomach and I'm killing the Griffin. Are we cool with the Griffin.

We saved the Griffin.

We're pretty cool with him. He helped us in a fight in the hatchery.

Don't kill me. We could also potentially punch him in the stomach and see if the OK.

Yes, you got about. Yeah. Maybe gag him to add. Norm could gag him. Norm could definitely gag him to see if we can gag him and get Billy out.

You know the Griffin since this is what you're doing out your turn. The Griffin had been commenting. You know, I don't feel so well. One of those bites didn't go down so well.

So he actually appreciates when you kind of like, you know, give them give them the hand down the throat, as it were, and go ahead and roll with a plus six on athletics to see if you can do right in the stomach in the name sixteen.

That is enough that suddenly flying out of Blak, the Griffins beak, there is a round object that is still wearing a Hornet helmet, but it is the mostly digested skull of Berserker Billi which lands at your feet.

There is a single bit of flesh around the eye and one eyeball that then rotates around to look around at us and in theory it can speak.

I would like to just I would like to just poke it in the eye. Just one good thing. Yeah.

The eye immediately pokes back in through the skull and like ball through the eye sockets. So there are no no eyes and I can't see.

That's good, good, good, good. All right.

Do I have anything else in my turn as the next person in theory that that'll say you're actually probably unless you want to do another attack, you to have more than one of those is a frenzy. No. Someone else go. Yeah.

Excellent. Well, you certainly got the head in your hand if you want to grab it.

OK, yeah, I'll hold I'll hold Billy's skull in my hand. That that's kind of badass. Yeah.

Now, at this moment, you're holding the skull and that is from again, from out of the woods on another figure suddenly comes sprinting. They were watching apparently from further away. They are not quiet because they're wearing heavy plate armour. But it seems like they are rushing towards this green dragon as though they are trying to save us or rush to our aid.

And as he flips up the visor, we recognize the face of Sir O who has followed us from the village of Greenest, apparently to Let's get the Dragon.

We got to go now.

Now, if you want Naum at this point, since you all you did was grabbed his head and get the head out of the grip and you could shout to sir, oh no, we're not attacking the dragon right now.

If you wanted to, you could call them off if you wish. And then that would bring us to Cake's turn next. Or you could let, oh, do what he's doing. Which apparently involves jumping up on to the dragon and trying to put it in a headlock. Seems to be his plan. That seems pretty cool to me, though, because you get to determine what he wants her to do and then he goes to jail.

Yeah, yeah, I had Kocho Cook had Larkham headlocks, and I'm going to let you roll for Kocho, the number he needs to beat the dragon roll. The one that no need to beat is a total of like a six.

So please roll. Percoco, 14 14. Kocho has this dragon in a headlock and he's just flipping all around like someone trying to hold on to a loose fire hose. And this dragon is whipping him around back and forth. He is not letting go. He is riding the Bronco right now and he shouts go ligers as his grip upon the dragon.

And that would bring us to cake and cake. What would you like to do?

Just make sure no pictures of Kocho ride in that dragon, get on social media? Yeah, I am a team player, but am I hurt for my loston? You're always hurt.

You are not hurt. Actually, you have been attacked by the dragon yet.

All right, I'm going for him again. I'm silly.

Where were you going to use an attack against him with. Is that right. Yeah. You. Oh where are you going to try to use the earth buying spell upon him again.

Is that without it to do doubling down you go back to the earth. But. Or you could use a spell that deals damage or I would also point out that you also could have the spell suggestion potentially if you wanted to try to hypnotize this dragon.

Additionally, let's do that. Excellent.

What would so already we've got this dragon agreeing with the suggestion that that Griffin over there likes you and maybe you should do something about that. She's taken that suggestion. You can build on this. Now, what would your suggestion be?

Let's try to keep setting them up, like Mr. Commentor said, can you put some music on, like what's a good across the room song for somebody to, like, look at and, you know, the world stops and you just zoom in on them like a sexual healing.

Sexual dragons. Oh, thunder nice thunder by can he play thunder by Imagine Dragons. He starts to play thunder by Imagine Dragons to set the mood, as it were, the name of the spell is suggestion. I feel like that's enough. I feel like you have created a highly suggestive atmosphere. And so I'm going to roll a saving throw for this dragon. And the dragon has rolled a total of a 12, which is not enough at the very least to have the spell save DC of 13 and the Dragon.

You see, she had one raised eyebrow as he was trying to fight off, sir. Oh, she turns to the griffin again. She raised an eyebrow and then she raised her other eye ridge. And you see that her eyes start to get a little sparkly. And you're starting to think that to her this Griffin looks very heroic, is cutting a very impressive figure and that she would like to talk to this dragon.

And she says to you, KAC, who is that? Who is that? Griffin what is this creature? Who is he?

And she's asking you now, right now, you've still got your move. You could roll a persuasion check on her right now to convince her of whatever you want.

All right. Let's roll in regards, hopefully. Hi.

I'm due for a high role, so absolutely.

Your technique on role is so bad. So ever, ever rolled anything ever had to learn how to cast a dye scope for dramatic effect?

All right. All right. Go ahead. Don't tell me.

You know, I can roll twice you now to do the your way, too. Let's see. Which is better.

See. Well, OK. All right. I'm getting some better work from out. Stick with your way. Silly.

So we got out, we got a twelve on that one and unfortunately I'm sorry to say you only have a plus one on this with that thirteen. You are definitely getting her to admire the Griffin even more, but it is unclear what she is going to do to throw in just a moment. It still looks like she might take pressure off her neck and throw him in her efforts to go talk to that Griffin. Which brings us to Alex turn just before the dragon gets to do anything in Erlik, you're the most convincing of maybe any of our characters.

In some situations, you have high charisma, same as the Bard. What would you like to do right now?

But I'm also close to getting attacked. Right. You are kind of in theory.

Well, I also want to point out that while you're the most bite size, you don't have the least hit points. You have thirty one hit points and take the wizard has twenty six.

So it kind of like in theory, take the wizard might be in a little more danger than you. You're right.

I was thinking, I was thinking of using my turn to Dipset and just get out of Dodge but I guess I will use my. I tried to save you.

I remember this, I said I was thinking about it's called fight or flight. I think both things I'm going to fight. No, this I'm going to I guess I'm going to use my my powers to cast a convincing spell on the dragon.

Absolutely. Since you also have second level spell slots at this point, you would also have access to the spell suggestion. For argument's sake. Let's say you have that right now. And what suggestion would you like to make upon this dragon?

Well, I would like to know I have a sneaking suspicion that this woman that pfft is trying to smash is actually in cahoots with the drug.

I'm not trying to smash. I'm just I think the I think I'm a woman in the dragon. She's who wants to steal our dragon. I think she's a very interesting person.

So I would like to find out from the Dragon if her and the woman are in cahoots. Hmm, absolutely.

I will roll the saving gropers. A suggestion as you ask that you should tell us that information. The Dragon, the dragon roll of fourteen, which I believe against your spell, say ADC, which is just become fifteen. That is not quite enough.

And the Green Dragon turns to look at the human woman who is rushed into this battle after us watching this whole scene kind of hanging back behind us, that dragon says, working with her, a silver dragon who disguises herself as a human.

Oh, my God, I would never know the woman to try Dragon.

After all, I hate silver dragons, she says.

Yeah, OK, so you still can make a persuasion check up on her right now, Erlik, if you wish to. Yeah, let's do it.

I'm sorry. No, no. Use your move to get here. You just cast a suggestion spell. You still have your bonus action, which means you can command your little familiar, your imp. I'm trying to remember the name.

Of course Costus was the name. Yeah, well, Bob Costas was the name of your little Cobbold who is. Oh yeah. Around and he's one of our minions. I want to point out you had an imp that you had recently acquired. You had named it after your cat.

I remember Hank, but I brought on absolutely. Excellent. So you got your game, baby.

Brian Yeah. It's LeBron excellence.

You got your little little with a scorpion tail, if you would like to command the seem to do anything except. Turn invisible and do things just so you know. Yeah, it's called game seven. Oh. It was actually game five against the Mavs, so roll rolling and then decide what you love. They you give specific instructions.

If you want to do anything, it can fly over and sting somebody or whisper in somebody's ear or something. Or you could do nothing right now. You could keep it hanging back on your shoulder.

Yeah. I don't know really what it could do. Like, I don't think the app is going to be able to kill the dragon. Maybe if it whispers to the girl, like, let's fuck this dragon up together.

Absolutely. So you're having your why doesn't the girl just turn into a dragon?

That girl is a dragon, Hank. What is it, a girl or is it a dragon? It's a dragon disguised as a girl. Right. Right.

We should get the girl to turn into the dragon and then fight the other dragon. But it is a dragon, you're saying, to reveal yourself as a dragon. Yes. Yeah, I got you. OK, yeah.

I would let you roll a persuasion for your mom who has a pretty big bonus. I think it's at least a plus three. But you can roll for your game to see how persuasive your amp is when it whispers that Tornero money.

So you do it, Jake, your MP whispers and you're like, don't worry, I'm great at this. And when you're implies over, it starts gilding this human woman like, don't you feel like real bad for all this trickery? Trickery is not very nice. And the imp is of course a master of trickery, knows how to mess with people's psychology. And you see this human woman start to look bad. She lowers her head and then she, with a roar, suddenly begins to grow.

Her silver robes transform and suddenly before us is a silver scale, the dragon that is decidedly larger than the Green Dragon. It lets out a roar and the Green Dragon. Amelie starts cowering and says, This isn't fair. What are you doing here?

And back and forth they start to talk in draconic, which means that KAC, at the very least, you would be able to translate. And what you're able to pick up of the conversation is that that dragon, the Green Dragon, is highly confused by our suggestion spells and is explained to the Silver Dragon that, well, I was originally here looking for something. I was sniffing something out that I was searching for. I'm working under orders. I'm looking for something right now.

But now all I care about is that damn Griffin over there.

I need to know why are his feathers so golden and his crest so majestic?

Why does he like me? And the Silver Dragon just begins to laugh and chuckled yourself and then whispers to us, Well, well done. I think that this Green Dragon could follow us for quite a while without realizing that we have her under magical spells. Congratulations. It seems that she is well taken care of here. You this this green dragon is an evil creature, but you have tamed it most impressively. Yeah, I am sorry for my deception.

My name. Well you can call me Ellia, but the moment that I sensed your dragon eggs, I immediately had to seek you out before she was able to catch you. And she's kind of whispering this to us. While the Green Dragon cannot hear us. Do we have anything to say to Elliott of the Silver Dragon Holzmann?

It sounds like to me, I don't know. So it sounds like there's a little rivalry going on right here. Favorite. We're in the middle of this.

Yeah, a cat fight. Yeah. I mean, I said I feel like we just got of we lose our focus sometimes as a unit when there are female of any species involved. I feel like you're pointing the finger at yourself. We've got to get back to basics. We've got to get back to it. Broken out. Yeah. Go back to our man cave. We've got all these eggs. Yeah. We need to stop collectively by shaming.

Yes.

We need you. So you better. Yeah. We'll start by shaming you so much. Yeah.

OK, all right. So let's what should we let's figure out like one decisive action that we can then leave for the people. So like what's our next big decisive action.

I want to hatch, I want to hatch my own dragon like our group Dragon. So we have collectively a child that we're raising now.

Can we make them fight each other? Can we make them fight each other to death? Can we be like, yo, you sure you should have heard what she was saying about you before you showed up?

Dude, you could absolutely roll to make these dragons fight each other. Right now, Ellie is suggesting that she could probably convince this green dragon to maybe keep following us around.

That's such an alien thing to say. She only needs to have like one little hanger-on that tells her that everything that she does is great. Her hair always looks awesome. And meanwhile, it's all about L'Italia Elliot. That's what I want them to find. I want them I want them to be a blow up. And then I want to go back. I want to I want to hatch our own dragon and then we'll have a son or a daughter to look after.

Obviously.

Go ahead and roll then the check to see if you can convince Ellie to fight this green dragon. That's right. Absolutely, Ellis says, I am absolutely ready to show you that I can fight this dragon because I agree we shouldn't try recruiting a green dragon. They can't be trusted. Ultimately, magic sure can control them. But I don't trust that dragon. And I'm going to show you how we good dragons take care of the evil dragons. I am a silver dragon and we are one of the good dragons.

And when I defeat this dragon, I'm going to show you how it goes. And then I am going to explain to you why it is I among the silver dragons who should be helping you hatch all eight of the eggs that you have.

Because if we have me and get rid of this green dragon and then have all eight of those other eggs under our control, those hatchlings, then that means that we are only and she starts counting eight eggs plus me.

We just need two more dragons on our side and then we might have enough of a force to take on the enemy dragons. I sensed your eight eggs and that is why I came to seek you out, because I have never seen so many eggs clustered together that we could hatch. And together we need 11.

We need to have dragons to accomplish something again and state team of enemy dragons. And if we have your dragons on our side, then we can maybe offer a group of contenders in what we call the Dragon Wars.

But among humans and elves, you have a different name for it.

You call it the Dragon Bowl and get our eight dragons that you have plus me, plus two more dragons. She looks at the Green Dragon and says, No, I'm about to fight her. Then we might have a team that we can assemble to fight. OK, Dragon Boat.

OK, so now do we want to kill the screen dragon though now we probably say, hey, let's keep the Green Dragon for roster depth because it wouldn't be bad if we had twelve in case someone gets hurt. Yeah, I mean you can always you can always go next man up. Right if we have a dragon get hurt now. But is that going to mess with team chemistry. Is a locker room cancer. Can we just can we can we end maybe with that.

Can we like ask the Green Dragon like yo you're going to be chill about this. Like are you going to do your job? Are you going to buy in and be a team player?

You see, first of all, Elio, like, oh, this is good.

We're going to recruit this person just like we're recruiting the eggs and we see the green dragons start to look around confused and go, sure, yes.

And Coach, oh, he's shaking his head and offering some warnings that he does not see team chemistry really coming together.

If we go vata double to green drive minimum plus and centralise. And so it's a risk. I mean Kocho can recruit them to, to buy in. Right. Like we can get this guy to buy it.

Yeah. Yeah. Kogyo Circo says I'm going to need to talk to this green dragon.

I'm going to really need to convince it and get it working as a team unit. But I think I think you let me talk to that green dragon. I'll be able to take care of it.

We try I don't know if I like juco transfer or scribed, though.

I think we trust her to get this dragon to buy into the team and be like, hey, you come here, we can win some championships.

OK, tell you what, we'll, we'll give it a spot. Yeah. But we're going to keep it on a very short leash.

OK, can we have, can we have cake put like just one of those earth binds on it.

So it's actually on a short leash.

She says, if you let me talk to that Griffin, then I'll let you cast an Earth blind spell on me. OK, we'll keep her happy with the. Yes, Camp David with Daddy. Yeah, try. Try.

He's having a long talk with the Griffin all wrapped up in these yellow magic bands. OK.

OK. And then so. Yeah. So where, where do we leave this off. How do we leave this for next time.

So Ellie is going to let us know that it sounds like if we're recruiting this green dragon who introduces herself, she says her name is Nijole Apptio, our latest recruit. Then she says, we're only missing one dragon to fully flesh out our team. We've got to hatch these eggs and I'm going to help you with that. But then there's one other thing that we need. If we're going to be contenders in the Dragon Bowl, our team needs to go to dwarven mines where a certain crystal grows, by which the armour which the dragons wear are made.

We need our team uniforms and right now we don't have any uniforms. So we're going to need to go get our team some uniforms next time.

I like Arush. Yes, sure. Alternates throwbacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it all next time.

Let them decide uniforms. Are we getting our last team member or are we just going into Dragonball.

OK. Awesome. Awesome. Well Tim, thank you. We're excited also just just just to make sure that I understand I'm still holding Billy's skull. Right. You are still home.

I want to smash it. I want to smash smash mouth. Yeah. It explodes. There are noises coming out of the shattered skull. They are now muffled.

Yeah. With her. I'll take a little piece of it with me. That's it. I'm taking a little piece in case we want to reanimate them later. Later so we can kill them again. Yeah.

Like a necklace. Yeah. We'll take one of those a skull. Can I just crush up a little bit of a skull and just snore a little and then. Yes, on the rest. Yeah.

That's progress. Yeah.

OK. All right. Tim, thank you as always. We really appreciate it. We'll see you soon. All right. Such a pleasure to see you all soon. Thank you. Thank you. Tim, I.

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OK, we now welcome on a very special guest, one of the baddest man men alive. He's got the Georgia Bulldog Cup. It is actor wrestler podcast Bill Goldberg, former football player.

You know him as Golberg football player, football player. Let's talk actually about the most important part.

Yeah, let's talk football first, Goldburg, because we're football guys. There's a football podcast that's our bread and butter. Your Georgia Bulldogs, they just are so disappointing. Year in and year out. What's up with that man?

Yeah, it's amazing how they cover up to, you know, the top five or top ten. But I mean, obviously, it's a weird season, man. They didn't have the best showing last weekend. They pulled it out. But Auburn's a tough game. I mean, after playing them four different times throughout my tenure, let's see if they got some Hornets this weekend.

I like. But you like him. You like him against the Auburn Tigers. Breaking up, and I'd say the scariest thing in the world is to have a zom break up with Goldberg because I can feel the I can feel the frustration on your face. I'm terrified of you. I've always been terrified.

So I'll get up and I do this podcast in my sleep, you know. It's all good. It's all good. Get ready for the weekend, man.

I can get nothing else to do my most. Two hundred and twenty acres.

Oh, that sounds pretty awesome. That sounds incredibly relaxing.

Hold on. Do you have a playlist for that? I do not. I do not. I just like to listen to the to the great outdoors man.

OK, well we got we got a guy who's got a playlist so we could maybe get you on that one, get a little bit of everything on there.

So we'll hook you up with that. You got my most important question for you is I think that I think you're an all time Trappes guy. I think you have you have the best traps maybe in the history of the human race. I think that's fair to say. What's your trap secret?

I just have a horrible neck from the onset of your football career, and you have to do traps every day the rest of your life.

So it's like compensating for not being able to work out your neck. You just get the traps muscles to be become so big that they kind of blend into your neck.

Well, it's in addition to the neck. You know, you got to do one if you don't do one. You might as well not do the other. But, you know, it's it's a support system, you know, for those shoulder pads. Yeah, OK.

I mean, you do have incredible neck muscles. Your wrestling career. Fantastic. I was always a fan. The spear was electric. It was, you know, when you had the WWF wars going on, late 90s, early aughts, you started though. One hundred and seventy three. And oh, people are saying there should be an Asterix with that. Do you what do you say to those people.

Why should there be an asterisk to it. That would be my first question because I was a guy and did it as opposed to a girl doing it in the WWE.

No, they said that maybe it was a little like you got one hundred and seventy three wins so fast that, you know, it's almost impossible to go one hundred and seventy three and go and do it as quickly as you did. I mean I watched a lot of them. You speared guys quickly. But do you think sometimes maybe it was a little too much too fast.

Oh man. I was on the road two hundred and twenty days a year my first year. So, I mean, I don't think it's out of the out of the ordinary that it could have happened the way that it did.

But, you know, the street was a whole it was a creature in and of itself, you know, as good as it was coming down to its its demise. You know, it was it was a tough thing to get out. So as honored as I was for being that guy to go a hundred and seventy three and know it was a it was a huge burden every night at the same time.

Yeah. Like you said, you're a football guy first. You know, you played in college, you played you had a cup of coffee in the NFL. At what point did you realize that you could make the transition to becoming a wrestler?

And was that ever like a backup plan for, you know, never a backup plan? I mean, I had my older brothers had ties with the wrestling industry. You know, when I was three or four years old, my my oldest brother roomed with terror and my other brother had a house with Ric Flair. So ironically, it was in my life way before I actually even knew it. But you know what what got me to do it was the fact that my accountant called me one day and said, you know, you weren't an all pro.

You surely didn't bank a lot of money. You might want to get off your ass and go figure out what you want to do the rest of your life. And I had no plan. You know, I had zero plan. The only thing I aspired to be was an NFL football player. So when that got taken away from me because of an injury and mostly because of my lack of talent, you know, I hit a brick wall at one hundred and eighty miles an hour.

So I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I really didn't have a backup plan, even though I had was a psychology major. Doesn't mean that I was going to go out. Started telling people how to run their lives, that would actually be fantastic to watch you be like a therapist or have, you know, that's a television series right there.

Yes. Yes. And then you and then, like, if the person starts, you know, getting too emotional, you spear them and you're like, absolute, pick your life up, get back to work or I'll spare you again.

Yeah. I'll give you something to worry about. Yeah. I do love how your signature move was the spirit, which is essentially it's just a tackle. So you're demonstrating that you're a football guy through and through. You don't need like a fancy gimmick. You just you just hit the shit out of somebody. When you were starting your wrestling career, did anybody suggest to you, hey, you might want to come up with something that's not just a tackle or were they just straight up impress from the fact that, like, the perfect form tackle is always going to be something people want to see?

Well, I just remember the first time I was, you know, getting ready to go out, we were taping at Universal and the guy looks at me and before I went out and he goes, Wait, you're finished? And I said, What do you mean, what's my finish? And he goes, Whatever you do, it's got to be spectacular. And so I went out there, I told Manny Fernandez in the ring to tuck his head between his legs and kiss his ass goodbye.

And I hope you trust me. And that that was the birth of the spear. You know, the jackhammer came from from Sergej down at the at the power plant. You know, I guess Malenko done that overseas in Japan and he did it from the top turnbuckle. And so I obviously was never going to climb to the top turnbuckle. So I just put my own little flair to it, made sure I could do to everybody. Four hundred pounds.

And under all, though, there was an asterisk there with the giant or with the big show. But I thought it was a pretty good combination.

But, you know, it paid tribute to my football days. Yeah. And I and it was something I didn't have to learn. Yeah.

And you were I mean you were amazing at it. Was there one spear in particular that you look back on? And that was like that was the most electric one. That's the one that, you know, if they could remember me by. That's the one.

Oh, I'd say I mean, the Christian spirit has been played, you know, millions and millions of times. I'd say that one was picture perfect. There were a number of people that I did did it on that I was very appreciative of. So that might have given me, you know, positive feedback for myself other than the quality of the spirit.

But I'm watching the Christian spirit back right now. That is so fucking good. That's so electric. Just perfectly timed up every second of it.

I mean, that has everything to do with the success of the Spears. The guy taking it, too. Yeah. Yes, that's a good point. What's the trick to selling a spear? Just like letting your body go limp and just letting letting you just cut them in half?

Absolutely. I mean, it's all about relaxing. It's all. And, you know, one little trick is you get the guy to elevate. Steiner taught me that one. He's like, let me jump before I. I'm like, you know, that sounds kind of cool, but dangerous at the same time. But, you know, like I said, it was, you know, ten percent golberg and 90 percent the guy taking it.

Are you still vegetarian? I was never a vegetarian, I don't know where that came from. That was like the biggest rumor I remember back in the day being like, can you believe Goldberg's a vegetarian and he's this fucking jacked? So that's totally debunked because absolutely.

I got I got 20 Longhorns on my property, for God's sakes, I'm not a vegetarian.

What's the longest you've ever gone without eating meat? Probably at two hours.

So you were a vegetarian, you know, the number one vegetarian in the world. You're the most famous vegetarian for two hours at a time.

Exactly. So I am a vegetarian. Just the shifts between my cannibalised eating.

What, you humans. Oh, did you see any humans on on our on our podcast. I like that.

Yeah. I can throw me on the list of other wrestlers that during coroner making up stories about themselves.

It is, it is the new diet, the intermittent vegetarianism. I do it for several hours a day. Off and on. Off and on. Yes.

What did you hate Gilberg?

I did in the beginning, you know, I had no sense of humor. I didn't really in the beginning. I took the business way too seriously. I mean.

I mean, I did and I didn't the fact that the fact of the matter is I had to be Goldburg like twenty four, seven, you know, I had to psych myself up and I had to be that guy. And that guy didn't come with the the many niceties. But once I understood why people do the things that they do and looked at that more so as flattery than it was an insult. You know, I got it. I didn't want to rip his head off when I met him.

He was a good man. And I'm happy that I would say that they were able to provide him a job throughout, you know, making fun of me. Right?

Yeah. And you had you had a very long, obviously very successful career in terms of football. You know, your career usually peaks. I think you peak athletically in the NFL between like twenty five and twenty eight somewhere in that range. But in wrestling, even though you were you stopped playing football because, you know, you had an injury and make the team you go into wrestling and you speak a little bit later and you have a longer career.

At what point do you think wrestlers peak athletically?

It's all it's all relative. Man, I mean, I went through the wringer in football. I never thought that I'd be able to lift again. Once I retired, I tore my abdomen off of my pelvis. I never thought I'd squat again. I never thought I'd do anything. So it's all relative. You know, everybody's got a different story going in. A lot of the guys like myself that were beat up going into the business, you know, I was I was I was literally one of the luckiest people that ever lace up boots.

It wasn't a passion of mine. I wasn't obsessed with it. I looked at it as a business. I was successful, I was in the right place at the right time, the right package. I suppose we put together and, you know, I suppose I was worthy at the time by being there at the right time to have that streak. And the fact is that if I had to get beat up all the time and, you know, truly have year after year of two hundred and twenty days on the road, I wouldn't be in the physical condition I'm at now.

So it's all relative. It's hard to say who's going to peak when at what age because everyone has a different story coming in.

So how did that work with your recruiting to Georgia? Will you you know, did you go on a bunch of scholarship trips? Did you will you decide between a bunch of different schools?

Because that's kind of. Yes, I was I was the top defensive lineman out of Oklahoma. College was a completely different story. Right. You know, college. College was. Yeah, it was different. I mean, I yeah, I could have gone just about anywhere I wanted to. I wanted ironically, as I sit here in the state of Texas, I wanted to go to UT. But after my trip to Georgia and after meeting Coach Akers, the last place I wanted to be was in Austin.

So, you know, the lineage at the University of Georgia and Coach Dooley, you know, being recruited by Ray Goles. I mean, it was a wonderful experience that I couldn't have gone to a better place. You all I mean, I grew up in Oklahoma, right? Yeah. And I was right down the road from from OSU and they were within the top five. Switzer was the coach. If he would have been the coach anywhere else, I would have gone.

But there was no way I was going to grow up in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and go to go to college an hour and a half, two hours away. I just wasn't going to do.

Huh. That makes it easy. I mean, I've heard a ton of stories about how Barry Switzer was such a hell of a recruiter. I'd imagine he, you know, just his personality made you want to reconsider. But I understand not wanting to be like in your back yard.

I'm going to do it within five minutes of Switzer being at my house. He had his shoes off with the crown on the rocks in his hand laying on my couch. So, yeah, Switzer was the guy, no doubt. Yes.

Did he show up wearing his, like, one of those robes? You know, you have those like almost Cruella De Vil.

No, but I do remember that year. I do remember that year or a year before him recruiting a picture of him recruiting Troy Aikman on the sidelines of Troy's game, wearing a full length mink coat and having some of the cheerleaders with it.

Yes. Yes. And then he was yeah, he was. All I can say are those were the days. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Do you still hate the University of Florida? Oh, absolutely. It's all up till the day I die. No question about it. It's just one of those things that they enjoy them at Georgia Tech.

It's it's crazy. Looking back on your last year at Georgia, you were the only player on the team to be drafted in the NFL. That's got to be that can't happen many, many years for for the Georgia Bulldogs.

No, that just I mean, yeah, that's absolutely amazing to me. Yeah.

I mean, I just looked it up and I was kind of shocked. The final question is brought to you by CrossCountry Mortgage America's crazy good mortgage company. Go to Scotlands dot com slash take to learn more about your future home buying experience or refinancing needs equal housing opportunity.

I had one last question. So you do work with S.P.C.A.? We do as well. You're a big cat guy. Are you okay?

No, no, I'm a dog guy, OK? I mean, I'm cool. I'm cool. All domesticated animals, man. I went on, went on the hill and spoke about dogfighting and cockfighting about 20 years ago. And I'm a big, big, big, big advocate for the dog and cat. And I love dogs.

I love Engleberg cat guy and vegetarian guy vegetarian. I'm too scared to go to Oklahoma. Yeah, there's just a lot of things out there. You but you still have goat burger. Don't tell me. Go. No, man.

Unfortunately, Grosberg, he passed away and we gave him back to his Dommett to his his family. And literally the day we gave him back, some dogs broke in and. Oh yeah.

And you still love dogs on his day. Yeah, I still love dogs, but they weren't my dogs.

It wasn't my house. So I can't take control for poor Golberg.

God damn it. That's tragic. That sucks man sucks. But we, you know, we look at my Instagram, we had a three legged sheep here. We had a little bird that we saved. You know, we and I live in Texas now at a place called the Misfit Ranch. We've got we've got zebras, we've got tight, we've got donkeys, we've got Longhorn steer. We got we got all kinds of stuff out here, your tiger king.

So we'll take them all in. I love it. I love it.

What's what's next for Goldburg in the future? Like, obviously, we're going to do that sitcom where you just beat the shit out of a bunch of tech pros. But then after that's over, where do you see yourself like twenty years from now, or are you still going to like, get back in the ring every five years? Oh, no, man.

I have a I have an expiration date on my wrestling days and it's it's a couple of years from now because of the slow pace that I'm going at it right at this moment. But, you know, I got it. There's a movie on the horizon. There's a television show on the horizon. It's just, you know, when we get back to some sense of normalcy, when we're going to shoot it again.

Yeah. Do you how much you bench? Oh, who knows, I'm advanced in 30 years. Oh, so you're a vegetarian cat guy doesn't pitch that about, sums it up.

Just dumbbells, man, you don't need a bench. All right. How much how much do you curl?

How much do I girl like from Max or something? Yes, Max on Col's 30. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, I, I work out with forty fives on each side, so I work out with one thirty five. So I mean, you know, I'm weak man. I'm an old man. What about in your squad. 700 pounds. Oh OK.

How much you raise.

I don't do that. See. Never done that.

What about in your heyday. What, what could you bench or what could you curl. I did five twenty five for three reps when I benched, but I, I kind of dropped it on myself and would throw it back up, you know, that cheat stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Trampolines go back and I yeah, I could I could squat a little under 800 pounds. Other than that man, I never really did any big lifts. Yeah that's.

Yeah. Same with me. I don't do like other than like squatting under 800. Just I don't do the big stuff.

If I go above a hundred I get the bars that we have in my gym, they've been too much and so I'm afraid of my snap it when I do an outrageous thing to say.

Yeah. A little under 800 squatting but I never did the big stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. No man. I mean I wasn't that, I mean I was, I was a big weight lifter and I still am. I trained every night but I'm not a I'm not a numbers guy. I don't go in there to see how much I can lift as long as I can, you know, use two hundred pounds and I can crush that thing for ten to twenty reps. I'm good with it. I don't care about.

Will you still look like a beast. You're still a legend and we appreciate the time you're whenever you're back up to New York, whenever all the ends. We'd love to have you in studio soon. Have to deal with the zoom and maybe I would let you spare me.

He's soft, it feels like it actually feels very comfortable, like pillow massaging your traps, I think the zoom cut out again, guys, big time, but I'm in New York. I'd love to stop by. It was a pleasure. And you guys, Bewell, have a great week. All right.

Take care. Yes. Go dogs that bet on them. Thank you, Goldburg. Appreciate it, man.

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All right. Let's finish up with Guzan checks. Guys on chicks, hey, big dick, daddy, Hank put in Big Hat. That is true. I'm a big dick daddy.

I've been exclusive with the guy for five months, but don't know if he'll ever ask me to be his girlfriend. P.S. We live 350 feet apart from each other.

Please help is just like a stepdad situation.

Yeah. What's going on here? 350 feet of college.

So if you're exclusive with somebody for five months, help me help me translate that.

Does that make you feel like somebody is somebody else's boyfriend or girlfriend?

Correct. It sounds like you you think you're under way for.

Yes, but he is like, hey, we're exclusive, but we're not dating. That makes no sense to me.

Move dorms next semester and see if it's just the ease of access. Move 500 feet away from him.

Mm hmm. Yes. Although this is the old Jeanie Buss. Phil Jackson, the key to love is to live close and visit often.

That's true. Maintains separate apartments. Yeah, there you go. Hey, guys. So I've been dating my boyfriend for about three months now, and so far everything has been going great. And he's amazing in every single way.

He's AWOL and recently got me into the show. I even get along great with his family and friends.

However, I have become slightly concerned about some of their guys being dudes behavior, specifically what they have slated as B jokes and with a capital T.. So be a capital T jokes, emphasis on the T.

I still don't totally understand that part, but it's what they say. Any time anyone mentions anything along the line of being something, they completely lose their shit and giggle like schoolchildren. It's gotten to the point where we'll be scrolling through Netflix and my boyfriend will replace the titles of the shows with beat related items.

Example Pirates of the Caribbean, Dallas Buyers Club, Law and Order, especially in theaters unit and so on.

It's even to the point where all their fancy football names in the league are beat jokes.

I, by the way, that's that's not a it's even to the point that has been the names of those teams for a very long time. It's Towser dynasties. It's the sport.

Now, those are franchise has been around for like a hundred years where he will send new jokes that he finds in his everyday life. Should I be concerned or is this just a phase that will pass with time, please, and help? It's increasingly difficult to have a normal conversation without him or his friends skipping a beat. Related jokes, it sounds like.

I mean, it sounds good to me. The joke has become the joke right now, like it's become one of those things where it's funnier to see the different places. How far how much time you can spend in making a beat joke is now funnier than the actual joke. And can I just I feel like there are a lot of people out there that are just as confused as I am right now. What is what is BB&T Capital? I mean, do we know?

Well, I mean, I think it's beating your meat, but is it something different? Is it. That's what I assumed it was. Billy, this is why you're here. Billy still beat, though.

It's like, oh, no.

I think it's like if you sleep with someone, I cheat and then they doesn't matter.

Had sex.

Yes, I can still beat though I they will also like every every face that a guy has ever been in, they will grow out of because that is it's like everything in life, like we're men are half brains until they're twenty five I think is when your brain fully develops.

And so yeah. Like you think back to anything that you thought was the funniest thing in the world ten years ago. Probably not doing it. You probably do callbacks.

That's why my Twitter name is Hanni's. Why. Because me and my friends used to do that with like like Nees. Were the knees like the body part, like it was a play off of. Yeah, I thought was a no alcohol? No, it was like it was like, you know, like like knee padding.

No, like like we would call each other like knee pads. It's like if you said anything that's like sucking up people like, oh you got knee pads on that it going up their knees like. Yeah. Knees. Yeah. No, no I think my Twitter I'll be like oh you know canthe Hanwood knees.

Yeah.

OK, God I know that's, that's vulgar and I just never, I just never change it.

Yeah. Billy Yeah sure. You if you want to figure out a way for him to stop doing. Yeah. I don't know, I didn't get a tone from the, from the text that she was sick of it just yet.

She's just kind of she's puzzled by a little bit. She's got to join in the fun. If you're, if you're sick of it and you want to stop, then you have to get in on it and then it'll be like, oh, you're making the joke correct. That's lame anymore. Chicks are talking to me about sex. That's gay. Yeah. Not going to do it.

Hey, big cat put enormous dick holder. My boyfriend has recently won a lot of money gambling during the restart of sports to keep me at ease. He tells me that it's going to towards my future ring. No. Should I believe him. No thanks. And take him to the vet. Oh no, no. I mean Johnny Sin's go to the vet.

No, I'm saying no because not there. No. Good point, Hank, but nope, it's not going to your Ron Jeremy has never been to the vet.

He's called the hedgehog, bro. I'm pretty sure he does not go to an M.D..

Hey, guys. Recently found out. Oh, this is a crazy one. All right. Hey, guys. Recently I found out the guy I've been dating doesn't call when we have sex. I figured it out because one day I was doing laundry and picked up the cum rag off the floor and it wasn't hard. I said something to him and he started freaking out and explaining how hard it is for him to come and that he's been faking it for a while.

He told me he used to throw the condom out the window with his ex-girlfriend, said she never found out. He then started crying and apologizing. It was a super awkward situation. And now we never have sex because I'm no longer interested, because he didn't really move the needle for me. And clearly nothing is happening for him. He now cries when I say I don't have sex with them. Is this normal or should I run and not crying like complaining.

Crying like actual tears come out of his eyes when I say I don't want to have sex.

Oh, first you're the dick. This sounds like the weirdest episode of CSI ever. She's like going through the hamper, extracting the the washcloth out, putting a UV light on it. And it's like, no, it's not, it's not crunchy enough yet.

There are some medications that do that. Well, I was going to say maybe flushes antidepressants down the tubes. Yeah. Too. I think like SSRI student and he might start coming. That's why he's crying is because, first of all, he's depressed. Second of all, he's not nutting and then you're making fun of him for not nothing and being depressed. Yeah, this is fucked up.

You're fucked up. You I stand with this guy who can't come home. Never been a problem for me. Yeah, Billy. Spit, if you're a guy who can't can't just spit, yeah, yeah. Oh yes. Oh, yes, fake it.

As everyone knows, the only place to come is on a woman's back on the just spit on the back. Aim for the dolphin tattoo. You'll never see it coming, baby.

Hey, guys. Sorry, big cat about the badgers. How can you tell if a guy is serious about having a relationship or is just trying to fuck me?

What's the difference?

I think if you're asking, then it's he's just trying to fuck me. Like, this is like the old like if if you're asked if you asked, you can't afford it. If you're asking if he's into a relationship or just trying to fuck, he's probably just trying to fuck because you probably would know if he's in for a relationship.

I think he got to fuck to find out. Just fuck around, find out.

I think it's like if if you keep fucking that's how 90 percent of relationships get started is you fucking off. And then eventually you start to like the person that you're sleeping with or if you want to have a relationship.

But he doesn't just get pregnant or fake a pregnancy. Yeah, grab that, grab that spit on on your back and put it up your pussy. OK, all right.

Last one. And this is this is real. It's one of the best ones I've ever gotten. OK, hey guys. Especially Bobcat, OK?

It's very natural. So it's from Big Cat.

When I was a baby, I was separated from my identical twin. We got in touch with each other about six years ago after I saw an exact look alike of myself in a picture on Facebook. We've been speaking ever since and even got a chance to meet in person about two and a half years ago. As you can imagine, I had a very rocky childhood and I don't talk about it much. I've been dating my boyfriend now for seven months and he has no clue about my sister.

I've never had the courage to tell him about the situation, but I do like him a lot enough to finally reveal her to him, me and my long lost sister. We're hoping to meet up this weekend in my apartment while my boyfriend is there and surprise him. Is it fair game to scare the crap out of him or way too early in the game? Oh, my God.

Identical to Lindsay Lohan in the Parent Trap. Yeah, but this freaky scarum full house scam, I think you got to scare him. And here's the thing. If you don't record it, then it's worthless. Then you're just like pulling a prank on him. That's mean. But if you tape it and get his reaction, I think the clout that will ensue after that, he'll he'll be willing to overlook that. Yeah. And then maybe just hint at the fact that maybe one day he could have a threesome and never give it to him.

Just keep him happy with that aspect.

You should also try and do that. If you're going to do it, you should try and do it like where your sister wears like the same thing but a different color. And then, like, you know, you leave the room and then she comes back and like, see if he notices type.

Yes, yes, yes. I, I want to see this video.

Even if you do want to share it virally, Texas, or you can ask your identical twin sister to bring her boyfriend over, have them hanging out like in the house when he gets home, and then she'll be making out with that guy and then get to see his reaction.

Then you walk out.

I mean, this has the opportunity to be like the a murder the all time.

Yeah. Yeah. Just scripted a murder, huh? I like it too much said man.

Do it though. Do Ashton Kutcher. Well, that and that I be forgiven.

I love that idea of having you making out with your sister, making out with her boyfriend and he walks in and then you walk in right behind him like what's your problem tape?

You got the tape. It's like a once in a lifetime opportunity shit. All right. Well, that's our show Friday, by the way.

We have fifty six NFL Preview. And we also have a great interview with Robert Iler, who you may know as AJ Soprano.

Fucking awesome interview.

Interview. All right. Numbers sticking with age 69. Are you sure you don't want to pick 45? I want to go a sixty 69 every time.

All right, pick because why? I was your favorite number.

And even when I'm not here, I'm still paying sixty nine because sixty nine is going to go. You don't get to pick what you're doing if you don't come to work. No. Sixteen fifty. No. Eight I'm sick. Eight.

I'm just stigma's sixty nine and if it hits on a Sunday I'm not here. I'll be so quick to pick fifty six.

I hate that everyone's picking the same numbers now. I don't like know how you got to float. We need a floater. We'll have 69 hits.

I know. Seventeen hits. I always bring it. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Eight Rex Grossman baby. Twenty five, six and still alive. Picture four on August 30th. Whoa. OK, all right. Well, fun fact. Oh, yes, go ahead.

Bats can actually see into the future because they predict where the insect everyone's going to have coronavirus.

They see the pandemic coming.

Wait, I want you to expand on that so bad to use echolocation to locate their prey, huh?

And bats have gotten so good at using echolocation, they can predict where an insect is going by processing the spatial ability.

As a quarterback, when you see a receiver running across the field, you don't throw to where he is. You throw it away, he's going to you do that.

To say that they're predicting the future, though I know I can predict the future, it doesn't mean I'm right.

So any good quarterback can predict the future. Daniel Jones? I not I think it's more like watching tape on like in basketball and like knowing that this is the move the guy's going to go go to like at the end of a game. Like LeBron is definitely going to go. Right. But so quick they'll throw his head back. Yeah.

So he sticks to the roof, but he's talking about like real time boy, like fast simulations in their brain that's using exact. You do that when you drive a car. That's what you're doing the entire time. Echolocation.

Yes, but you're just you know, I don't think you understand. I don't appreciate it. If I don't get it.

I read an article that's dangerous. I wasn't able to synthesize a smaller bit, you know, more articles. Two too many words. Yeah. I love you guys.

We're talking away. I don't know what to say. I'll say. Today is another day to find you shying away. I'll be coming for you, love talking to. For me. Take me out. I'll be going. So needless to say. More to this, but I'll be stumbling away.

Slowly learning that life is okay. Say, after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry, take on me.

Leo. I'll be going in a day or two.

Oh, things that you say. Survival, just a Peepli Worry Soueid.

You know, the things I've got to remember, you're saying the way. I'll be coming for you anyway. For me. Leo. Bago. But.