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All right, bang, bang, what's up, everybody, it's Eddie, we got to let the people know that St. Patrick's Day is now available in the barstool store, all you got to do is go to store, barstool, sports, dotcom, go get your green, get ready for St. Patrick's Day and yeah, go do it and enjoy your podcast, whatever you listen to. Sure. It's a great show. Hop into it.
Now, on today's part of my take, we have a very special guest. It is Donnie Brasco, the real Donnie Brasco. Joe Pistone, if you don't know the story, if you hadn't seen the movie, Joe Pistone went undercover in the New York Mafia in a crime family for five years in the late 70s, early 80s, ended up like 200 indictments just based on his investigation. He lived the life he's in witness protection. Still fascinating interview, something a little different.
So make sure you listen to that.
We also have Russell Wilson maybe demanding a trade, but also not a very weird Russell Wilson Day. John Watson adamantly demanding a trade fire fest of the week. Hank has a new idea to get us rich, which I think he's going to share. Are you going to share? Fuck, yeah. You're going to share Paak Friday show. Let's get it going.
And it's brought to you by our friends at Verizon 5G. You've heard us talk a lot about how Verizon 5G ultra wide band makes gaming better, ultralow lag console quality gaming on the go. Well, we're not just talking gaming, Verizon design. They're 5G to make the things we do every day better with the coverage of 5G nationwide, millions of people can now do what they love in Verizon, 5G quality and in parts of many cities where people can use massive capacity in ultra low lag.
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Global claim based on open signal, independent analysis. OK, let's go.
Right. The present violence, I'm not looking and I'm like, oh, I don't do that and I don't want to be like you.
And I welcome the part of my take by Verizon 5G today is Friday, February 26. PFG Your Mind.
It's your greatest weapon. Agreed. Always persevere, always have a great perspective and always have a great purpose in your life.
Agreed. Even though we don't get to play today, we always win. Fact winning is the only option. Hashtag grateful. The best is ahead.
Also fact cross training made easier with my hashtag Bozz from Team Beau's hashtag Boese also correct.
These are the quotes I will live by if Russell Wilson becomes a bear.
There you go. There you go. Your mind is your greatest weapon. Your mind is your greatest weapon. What about my ass? Nope, you're mine. OK, all right. Mine is.
You're Russell Wilson has demanded kind of the most passive aggressive trade request in the history of sports.
Well, it's kind of like he's entering the transfer portal. It's not really a full demand. He's he says, I'm not requesting a trade unless it's to a team that I would want to be traded to.
Do you know what he's asking? He's basically in a marriage and he's asking for a hall pass. And then he listed like six different women that he would like to have sex.
Like, hey, actually, our neighbor, he knows the hall. Yeah, right. It's not it's not Jennifer Aniston. It's Bethany who lives next door.
That's your friend from the PTA, right? She'd be on my past. Yeah. You talk you toss in a couple like Scarlett Johansson. John, there are Halle Berry, your mom, and then we'll go with Megan Fox.
OK, so he has he has said to the Seahawks he doesn't want to be traded. But if they were to treat him, hypothetically speaking, he would want to go to one of four teams, the Raiders, the Bears, the Saints and the Jets.
No, the Dolphins, the Dolphins, the Jets as well. Not yet.
OK, not the Jets. Just the fact that Russell Wilson has put the bears in this list is like maybe the biggest when the bears have had this huge six or seven years. Actually, our our friend Robert Meiwes, had a tweet that was that sums up the bears perfectly. He listed the best bears of all time cubs, number one, seed Luckman, number two, Jay Cutler, number three, Eric Cramer, number for Russell Wilson, saying he'd play for the Bears.
I put him at five and put sexy Rexy ahead of him. The original RG three. Yes. And now this is something that JJ, what I don't think would ever do something like what Russell is pulling. He would JJ what would demand a trade. He would. He would or excuse me, he would demand his release so that he wouldn't become a burden on the team and he would go out and not be a distraction. Karakoram Russell Wilson on the totally wet milk, his free agency, period.
You can't you can't on right now, Mr. Unlimited.
Without me, the league at league year hasn't started. Hank, we want to tamper. Well, listen, if Russell Wilson somehow, someway I. Now let me take a step.
Well, let me let me let me can I let me let me just say, though, that if you went to the Bears, something terrible would happen. Of course. Of course. But I still would love to to have that terrible thing happen for the day that he signed. For me to be that you want you know what the future may be. Get in off season where Russell Wilson is your quarterback would be the best period of time in Bears history, right?
Exactly. It'd be incredible. Yeah.
I think that he threw the bears in here because he was like, OK, I want to go to the Saints because Sean Payton, I want to go the Dolphins. I want to live in Miami. I want to go to the Raiders because I want to live in Las Vegas. I want to go to Chicago because there's a chance that Ryan Pace will pay me seven hundred million dollars.
And so that is where the bears you know, and guess what?
I don't think Russell Wilson is worth 700 million dollars, but I also never got an MVP vote. I would love to just have a competent quarterback and so be a very fun experience.
I think that he threw the Bears in there as like kind of throwing a bone for the Seahawks because he knows that the Bears on the discussion, his trade value goes up. And so that means that other teams would be able to give a little bit more money. I think he said Dallas, too. It's basically all cities that Sierra would want to live in. Yes. It's like where where where is a little bit sunnier? Where can you be outdoors for eight months of the year?
Our all I'm going to say is that if Russell Wilson somehow some way becomes a bear, I will buy into, I might I might actually I might just become the most religious person in the world. I'm I'm limited. Yeah. Just praise Jesus every single day.
Like, I will I will tweet about the corniest sayings, everything. I'll be a Mr. Unlimited. I'll do post game videos in black and white to Kobie thinking about Kobe when Russell Wilson plays for the bears like the Bears beat the Lions in week three.
I mean those for Kobe, you and Russell do have similar fashion senses. Hawaiian shirts, Hawaiian shirts, jeans, jeans. They're both dads ads. Yeah. Then that's really where it's both drink water. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, I'm I'm ready. I'm ready to get hurt. I'm ready to just. This is you know what, though? I don't really care. Just the fact that he mentioned it is really like he it could be a total throw in, but he put us in the sentence that said that he would consider being a Chicago bear.
And I'm like, all right, great. Someone wants us. That's cool.
I don't think he's going to go anywhere. I no, I think he's going to stay in Seattle. But it's nice to dream he's his biggest qualm with the organization. Appears to be like, oh, I didn't realize that playing in the NFL that my coach would have his sons also on the staff and they wouldn't be held to the same standard. It's like, you know, that you play in the NFL, right? Like that's kind of signing as part of what you're signing up for.
It's like you're going to be busy most Sundays and your coach is going to have a couple of his shithead sons running around fucking everything up.
And so the the other story that came out about Russell Wilson was that he apparently stormed out of a meeting before the Thursday night football game against the Cardinals because he was basically giving a presentation on how the offense could be fixed, which that was probably the lamest. Well, let me do two things.
If he's not a bear, that was the lamest presentation ever where Russell Wilson was like, I want to throw the ball 75 times a game.
Let me be Mr. Unlimited.
Now, bear Russell Wilson, how do the Seahawks not listen to Russell Wilson, the franchise quarterback?
Shame on them. If if he came to Chicago, Matt Nagy would listen to everything he says.
Great leadership. Yeah, that's exactly what you want out of your signal, caller. You want a guy that's not afraid to take a lot to to coach his coaches up.
But I just it's I mean, every time I read a story like this, why couldn't I fucking known about this before? I bet on that game.
Which one story which Mike McCarthy watermelons again. Yeah, I'm sick of reading stories in February where I can actually point to be like, oh yeah. Lost that bet. That makes sense.
Can we all stop for a second though, and just imagine Russell Wilson in Las Vegas, just what a waste of real estate that would be for him.
He would probably try to have like a magic show on the strip. Yeah, probably he'd be front row at the I'd like to see Celine Dion look at your every night. Yeah, yeah, oh, I could totally see that, yeah. Hey, Dave Copperfield, I was thinking we had this great idea for a magic show that removes all the satanic imagery, though. So basically card tricks.
Yeah, I could absolutely see Russell Wilson doing that. So this is it's it's wild to think that, you know, Stafford obviously already got traded. Dak is still up in the air. Russell Wilson, passive aggressive trade request to Sean, to Sean, clearly not getting traded.
Jack, ECB, you don't want to fuck with Jackie. Well, that's a man that has red.
He lives are the deal every single day, apparently not getting traded, but also apparently refusing to play for the text. Yeah, like, so the story came out that he met with the new coach for the Texans Culley. Yep. That one's going to be that.
We're going to remind ourselves of that Culley. And then I'm having a hard time remembering Sirianni, Sirianni and Colly. So they had a meeting on Friday night. And and Deshaun Watson was like, absolutely not playing for the team. Sorry, just not going to happen. Yeah. So it is a game of chicken DaShawn. Just get fat. I would love to see a player just like I truly hate them so much. I will, I will retire.
Yeah. I mean if any franchise is able to do that to a person it would be the Houston Texans just get fat. Deshaun, I don't know if that would actually change things because you say that you're not going to play. They say that they're not going to trade you. But it would make my life a lot more fun if every time I saw a picture of Fat Tashaun, I got a giggle at it. Yeah.
And then the way out of town. Then there's JJ Watt. JJ was also doing his free agency tour.
Oh, and we have stigma on quarterbacks. Big Ben is is officially, officially back, which is the best thing ever.
I mean, now quantifier to my eyes. One more one more fucking, you know, trip around the sun. The last dance Big Ben version. Drew Brees is apparently not like he is retiring, but he hasn't said it yet, which makes no sense.
But he's going to be in the booth next year. But he hasn't said that he's retired. He's retiring. Yeah, but I'm putting Drew Brees at the what people are saying now is why has Drew Brees not retired?
I don't have a good answer for that, but I'm putting out to pasture.
I was going to make a joke that I'm not going to make because I'm not going to make the joke about his ribs.
No, what was about it was going to be something along the lines of he's probably still at the golf course waiting for Tiger.
OK, thank you for not taking that job. You can't make. I can't make. You can't make that. You can't make that. You cannot make that joke. So I didn't make a joke.
Right. I did not make thank God. Sure. We all agree. I did not know. But he's also one of the quarterbacks that had his legs broken. And those rumors. Yes, right. Exactly. Big Ben. So, yes, he's coming back. He's going to just basically loan money to the Steelers because the Steelers, they don't want to pay him because he's frankly not worth anything right now. Big Ben doesn't want to take money from the Steelers because we have to take something he knows.
So like how is that going to work? I think that Big Ben should start up his own TV twelve method. Yup. The BB seven method, which is really the way that, like people always say, Tom Brady. Well, your wife is a supermodel. She brings in hundreds of millions of dollars. It does make it easier for him to get paid less. But we also speculate that Tom Brady has that side cash coming in from the TV twelvemonth.
The BB seven method, the Big Ben seven method could be the answer to the Steelers health problems, where he starts selling like used medical equipment on eBay and gas station boner pills for form passwords to brazzers.
That he's not use anymore is not using him. Guy Yeah. Free password. Yeah. So and then one other news we have. Well NBA All-Star team was announced. Is anyone excited for the NBA all star game.
I feel like I don't even I don't even think that the players are excited for it.
I was just happy that Zach Levine got the credit because I'm all in on Zach Levine. He's been phenomenal what his dad is electric to.
They, like, had the video where they were surprised him and his dad was like, you ready for it? Zach Lavine was like, ready for Atlanta. And the dad was just like, are there casinos?
Yeah, he's a little question. Well, Zach Lavine had a quote a couple of weeks ago, was like the only two people I'm afraid of are God, my dad. And then if you've seen it, have you seen a picture of his dad?
Yeah, his dad is a not to be fucked with a guy, but. Yeah, the all star game, I don't know.
I just need to bring back the dunk contest. It's very simple. Just bring it back with you like the best players.
Yes, I agree. The dunk contest can solve everything. And then college basketball. We had a great Roy Williams quote last night, even though he shouldn't have. So the scheduled Marquette for an extra game, something Duke would never do because Duke is scared they lost to Marquette bad loss and terrible loss.
He basically said, this sucks y'all. Y'all when I schedule these games, I don't know what we're going to lose if we won the game. You say whatever schedule, Marquette dadgum it. I'm gonna go on schedule. Marquette and if we win, then I look you go are sitting up here saying you shouldn't schedule if I lose dadgum game and you tell me why you shoot, why schedule Marquette for so y'all I can't win with y'all. And then he storms out.
Jerry Jones, Roy Williams and Patrick Mahomes all together, yeah, I mean, that's pretty good. That averages out to to Roy Williams, so I'm OK with that. And all you haters out there that told me I was an idiot when I said Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K, he doesn't get the shine. This is just another market in my favor on this.
But hold on. What's going to happen here and why I just said this sucks is there's now a world where Duke's going to make the tournament this year and USC isn't. I don't care. I don't care.
OK, it's going to suck because I actually. Who wants Duke's remaining schedule? I mean, the ACC is not very good this year.
They might going to top four.
Do you think has a point was they just announced that they were going to be replacement teams with covid. The first four teams out are going to be on standby.
Oh, that sucks blue balls because God forbid, Gonzaga, Baylor, Michigan have covered outbreak. Duke replaces them at the Wannsee.
That's what's going to happen. They're not going to get the Duke. Could also be a sixteen seed.
Yeah, that would be awesome to see the if by good this again for like the second time exactly what happened to Harry Potter, the Goblet of Fire with the added another team. And just to make to make sure that the ratings went up.
That's true. Or whatever, whatever.
Yeah, that's a fantastic reference. I had no idea you. Thank you.
Well it happened with Tzion with the Pelicans and now they're doing it with another Duke squad.
Cedric so got the fucking joined. As I've been saying that for years, Duke has now moving towards a thank you NCAA tournament. Colpeper Stupefy. Yeah. Georgia Tech will actually access something I forgot about like since I was like twelve years old.
So the stones are just like I Sorcerer's Stone and I think that's on my iPod last night.
What about the pod Bachs. Lebensraum do George be. Oh hey watch. That's under review. Oh yeah. I forgot.
They're just one fucking Georgia Tech. That could very well be a loser. Leaves town game. Yes I know, but that is a lose lose lose. At least we didn't come up with loser at least.
No we didn't. That's kind of wrestling and no credit. OK, all right. I thought you did it. Sorry. Yeah. So yeah.
So Duke, they're going to make the tournament. I just know they will. Of course, if they make the tournament, you've got to get a cat.
Hank, know why you guys have to get a cat. All right. How about this, Hank? What if Duke makes the tournament as one of those replacement covid teams and then they end up losing?
If Duke wins the championship, you guys should get a cat. OK, yeah. If Duke wins a championship, I'll get a cat. Yep, done.
And if Duke will, you have to have a Caribbean outdoor cat make it to the championship and lose no final four. No sweet sixteen. Sweet sixteen and lose no because they're going to one side. It'll be a walk into the final four.
But that's a risk. You have to put something in this.
Yeah, they make it to the championship and. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's got to be. Come on. It's the same for the final No.
One, I think Elite eight. I think if they get to the Elite eight and lose, you have to get a cat. If they lose the sweet sixteen, no cat, no cat, they will. Yeah. Yeah.
But no what what's on your what. Well I think Final Four, if they get to the final four, you have to get a cat and they win the title. We have to get a cat. All right.
All right, OK. All right. One cat between us. Yes. We'll split it in half. It can be a barn cat bill.
There's actually a new litter. No. Oh, no. Billy, are you going to get that? What was the rebel plaster? Toxoplasmosis.
What are you guys a wild time, right? Yeah. Didn't you say. Oh, yes. Toxoplasmosis to attack the covid cells.
Yeah, it was more that in a bunch people in motorcycle accidents had toxoplasmosis because they have no fear.
By the way, we should just for the people who are listening and not watching, Billy has the most unwrinkled or wrinkled jeans or pants of all time.
It looks like his legs are in two scrotums. I just want you to listen to it, to audience. That's what he's doing. Yeah.
Chipotle rappers is can Jack put out there? Not all of us have advanced laundry. I believe you have like a laundry, like I support, you know, what you mean by advanced laundry techniques. You mean a dryer, an iron and iron.
But if I didn't support you, Billy, I would say I also don't have an iron, but I've never let my pants get to that point. But I do support you and I'm with you.
I actually saw you ball them up and you put them on your mattress. You've been sleeping on them for six months.
I have a solid laundry apparatus, technique thing I do where you put in. I actually do have a washer and dryer. I know what he's going to say. What you eat because you're 21. Are you 22? You. I'm trying to. Right. So you're trying to you're going to always be 21. But you do. And listen, this is actually the relatable part. So I'm going to have your back here. Thank you. You do your laundry, you do you wash it and you put it in the dryer.
And then instead of doing the extra step of folding everything and putting it away, you just take your clothes from the dryer all week. Yeah, it's great. That's actually an efficient system.
Then you put it in the washing machine, right, when you take it off for the shower, right. Yeah. So you basically you don't need a closet. Exactly. What do you like that. So here's a great way to just get rid of wrinkles. You just take like one sock or one shirt and you wet it down and then you put it in the dryer with the other thing you want to dry. And then the steam while it's in the dryer gets rid of the wrinkles.
How long until like ten minutes.
So do it while I shower. Yeah. Perfect.
That's actually that's actually are you hang the pants up in the shower. I'm a guy that knows how to take care of some big wrinkly pants. You just hanging up in there with you at the steam. Lets it all fall down. Yep.
That's actually it's not even if you said maybe put a towel under the door so you don't let any of the steam out. Hotbox it.
Yeah. Yeah. A little little steam room in your shower.
Oh I had a little bit of Profumo looking forward to this weekend.
Oh. Can you guys help me out maybe. Yeah. Are we going to, are we not going to have any Gooch this weekend. Because last weekend we had multiple gooch's.
Oh oh. The golfer. I think the golfer is probably Taylor Gooch. Yeah. And then there was Dusty Gooch. I can't go from two Goosh weekend to zero Googe weekend. Yeah.
I hope the Taylor is competing. I would assume he is. Yeah right. He's got to be. Jake, check that force. Hey by Brooks did just hit a thirty five footer.
He's one off Elliott. Of course he is. Oh wait but wait. That's not Puerto Rico is it. Nope, not other one concession in Bradenton, Florida.
Yeah. All right. Before Hank tells us who's on the leaderboard. OK, well, he's got to be there or he could be a Puerto Rican. Could be a Puerto Rico. All right. After taking a brief hiatus from outdoor activities and workout routines, it's time to get back to the grind with new spring essentials from Mack Welden. With body mapping technology and fabric mesh zones, McWorld and Stealth Boxer briefs deliver enhanced breathability and support perfect for everyday wear or to be layered underneath workout gear and for sweat pants you can wear outside without feeling like you're wearing sweat pants.
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What I thought you were going to say about this weekend was we're back guys. This is how the calendar works. We finally made it. We're fucking spring and ahead. So your clocks on Saturday night, finally we're going to get that extra hour of sunlight I like. There's nothing better than getting to that point where we finally reach it. We're going to change our clocks on Saturday night and then, boom, it's going to be six thirty before the sun set.
Well, for me, it's actually been the entire like four months because I never change. And so I've I've always got that to look forward. Yeah. If you've got a car that you drive every day, if you've made it, you drove Green Zone, you made it. That's the most accomplished I ever felt when I was driving my car when I was like you. What I didn't change my clock, finally, time caught up to me. Yes, you made it.
Don't be late for work on Monday. There's a spring forward. There's something just beautiful about that.
When you know, the first Monday after we spring forward, which is this Saturday. Change your clocks two o'clock in the morning. Is that right?
Yeah, 2:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m. Sunday morning. It becomes 2:00, 3:00 a.m.. Yeah.
So that that there's something about that extra hour where you get out of work and it's like, oh my God, it's still light out this great.
It feels great. Yeah. It's like if this had lasted one more week I was going to off myself. So thank God it's back this week. Yes.
So just a little shout out to everyone looking out for the AWOL. Spillett We don't want you to be late, Hank, your genius idea that's going to make us rich in a week where we have reached great financial independence by buying highlight's online.
That's we're just rich now, right.
Because of highlight's assets, their assets. Yeah. Did you write this one, though?
Punks. This one will require a little more work. I know you're old decapitator. You're getting old. I'm getting old. So it's my, you know, someone young that really has the time.
It also occurred. But there is a new sport that's blowing up. And I think we can get it on the ground floor and make a lot of money. This dude, Paul McBeath, today signed a ten year, ten million dollar contract extension to play disc golf.
Ten year, ten million.
So this guy was like, you know, he's the Michael Jordan of disc golf. His first contract was like a year like 250 grand. He sold so many fucking discs or whatever Frisbees from banging, changed his signature line, sold so many. There's such a huge market there. It's under a ten year, ten million dollar contract. And it's something I think if we just get our on, we can we can get in banging chains, banging chains and, you know, make millions.
Ten years, ten million. Doesn't seem like that much money to me, actually, for fucking disco. Yeah. It seems like kind of a Brookport fun sport.
It's actually really I, I aspire to be two things in my life. One is a car guy and the other is a proffer.
Right. Those are that if I could envision my perfect self it'd be know how to use, you know, how to like fix a car and have some antique cars and then take my antique car and bring some change.
How many times back in your life have you been like, I wish I could pursue my froth, you know, dreams, but I have everything. I have to make money for my family and literally every day now, you don't have to make a choice. Yeah, you can just do it to both. Yes.
OK, it. So who sponsors them. Describe it. So it's a Frisbee company. Yeah. Yeah. OK.
And they're actually I mean they're so sick. You wear your little satchel and you got your, your different from discs, you know, like their clubs. Yeah. I mean they don't just use the same disc an AWOL.
Email me this. His name was Cayman, which I thought was appropriate for a guy that's really on the you know, he worked for Siemens, maybe even has a rattail.
But but still, I read the article. I was I was like taken aback, like, wow, there's some real money to be you know, we're we're we're trying to get rich quick, right. Actually, you know, it's like the week where it's just like, what should we do?
Should we buy, like, some version? We can buy cards discount or should we buy some fucking chains?
PIN didn't train is what it is, because it's an outdoor sport. You're always socially distance. I just don't have any friends. It's perfect. I have to correct you, Hank, because if we're going to get in this, we have to by chance to set them.
Oh, hang them. We buy them. We change. That's why sounds cool when you say you want to go banging some chains, bro, or talking about froth. Yeah. You going to buy them to set them up and then you bang. OK, what. Why do we have to build our own bank chain.
No we don't. We're trained over the course and you bank some change. Yeah. I'm not going to bang my own change. Yeah. Crapware eat. Come on. Either way do I.
To do my junk editors. We say that that was good. You know, that's an investment that's like, that's like the strongest idea.
That's like if we were you know, if the microphones weren't here I would have sat you guys down in a boardroom and been like, let's do this presentation of the whole thing.
This is more of just like, you know, guys are like we sponsor a professional Frisbee golf. We make a T-shirt that says bang change. That would be great.
We actually Jake or not. Jake, can you get someone on that bang change saying change for you?
Do you bang change, bro? Do you learn banking? Do you even bank change, bro. And it's just so fucking froth going into set up Trig's. Yeah. Maybe it's a dude throwing a frog with that rat tail. I just talked about Kalki cargo shorts that are wrinkled.
Baggy green shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Baggy green shirt. Tev is a little overweight but not too overweight. Maybe a puca shell.
Maybe a puca shell and he's throwing a fucking perfect nine iron right at the chains and says, do you even bring chains bro. Who do you think's winning a chain being between this group.
I from probably not me I could from I've thought a lot about Rolfing so I'd say just my mind is sharper than everyone's here when it comes to froth. Yeah.
The whole like practicing Frisbee on the. The thing was never something I got into, so I feel like I feel like my discs are they're always flying like a 45, you're more or less. You know what I do? I think behind I throw like Barry Zito style. You're more of a lateral guy. Yeah. You know, yeah.
You got to get Hoso. They call it horizontal Hoso get Hoso get level up.
I don't know if I say that, but it sounds cool. All right. Now the trunk idea. OK, hang on. Wait what about.
Hey, flush that out of my brain hanging brain and bang in chains and this guy is pulling his dicks out while he's throwing the first line of this. All right.
I want that shirt, Jake. It's chopped. Are you have tricks?
No, I did not. Fuck, I can do everything around here. All right, fine.
I'm going to text them or listen to the show says, yeah, but I want it now, OK? I texted him last night at eleven. I said, give me a luchador dunking a skull.
It's job. Got it. But for building a bong but for booze.
Uh, OK, wait what.
You know show chopped. Yeah. It's I guess you get a few sometimes it's beer, you get a basket of ingredients, sometimes it could be food but that's shopped. But for booze you're making drinks.
OK, so you're making one drink. Give me an example of what's in my box. All right. You got fucking vanilla ice cream. OK, grass. Yeah, like something disgusting.
Like some spice or like something that's like, you know, really flavorful that Cincinnati chili and then, I don't know, shaved ice.
OK, asparagus. OK, and then you've got to make a drink.
I have to make a liquor out of that.
You have to make a cocktail, something that you can serve but there's no loose. You have the booze. Oh yeah.
And how drunk were you Hank. You just forgot the booze. Well, I just wanted to make a salad. No, no, no. I know.
I think what happened was Hank was out of booze and he was, you know, reading how can I get drunk out of the of these things?
I was like, you ferment the asparagus like, no, you.
That's my bad. All right. All you do is to blend it all together. And then you toss some whiskey in it.
You call it a milkshake boom, but someone else can make a better one. You know, there's plenty of bartenders in the world. All right. Well, let's try it.
Let's have I mean, we've already had an episode of Top Chef Believer's. Pfft, let's do it again. That should be great. Let's do it on our Twitter stream. I like I like to show through our YouTube. Let the chili talk. Yeah. Let's do it on our YouTube. Let's do it. Set it up for let's do it Sunday night. When we come in to do the show we'll do a ten minute chop for booze. All right.
OK, so you're going to I'll get the ingredients out of the box. Are boxes OK? And it should be the main ingredient. Should be Coors Light, of course. Like that's that's. Yes. OK, perfect. And then we'll taste test. Billy will let the meat talk. We should get steak should be part of this just so I'll, I'll, I'll take care.
All right. So maybe not. So we'll do it soon. Soon we'll do it on our YouTube channel, our good ideas.
Hey, thank you. Way to go. Appreciate it. I mean, we're what. I actually had a drink.
I did too. All right. Here we go. Let's go. His investment week. So sure. Let's pretend that they are Billy's ideas that there's going to be a peloton dating app. How did you I think you tweeted it out to be.
Yeah, well, all these people are so obsessed with peloton like it's like a jet and everyone's just simple for their instructors.
So, like, why don't you just make a dating app for all these dudes you get?
I'll do one better.
Billi, I think we've actually passed the people obsessed with Pelton's.
Now it's the people obsessed with people who are obsessed with their health, not get a dating app for them so they can stop complaining about people.
It's really being obsessed like everybody else is going. Yeah, because if you knew Olivia Model, you would not be talking shit, right?
Like six, six months ago, people were talking too much about their politics. Now we just have people talking too much about people who are talking too much about their politicians. So if we get them to date, then everyone will shut the fuck up.
Do you guys remember, like a year and a half ago when that commercial came out and like a slightly arguably sexist commercial about Yelton was the biggest problem that we had in the entire world. That was nice. That was pretty sweet. I was getting mad at like some husband buying his wife a three thousand dollar bike. That was a good time. Yep. And now we are. And now. Well, I mean, we're solving all the world.
You see, Mr. Potato Head is no longer just potato chips.
Potato Head just sits by Firefox. Save it for all right.
For forget you didn't hear that. Forget you didn't hear that. Let's get to our interview with Donnie Brasco. Joe Pistone, the real Donnie Brasco fascinating interview was in infiltrated the New York City mafia for like five years. Crazy story. I'm sure a lot of people have seen the movie, but really, really fascinating interview. Something a little different.
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OK, here he is, Joe Pistone, a.k.a. the real Donnie Brasco.
OK, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Joe Pistone. You know him as Donnie Brasco, former FBI agent. I guess you're an FBI agent for life. If you haven't seen Donnie Brasco, go watch it. First of all, go read the book. Joe's book. He was undercover in the mob in the New York City Mafia for of many years and went, you know, 200 indictments. One of the craziest stories out there, if you don't know what I think, everyone does know it.
But thank you for joining us, Joe. We appreciate it. Got a million questions. I guess the first one is, where are you right now?
I'm on the east coast of the U.S.. OK, I like this.
All right. You can't really tell us. We all saw the sunglasses off. What's the weather like where you're at? I'm old cold.
Oh, I'm wearing shorts right now. It's just a cold snap throughout the U.S., so, yeah, it is winter. Yeah, that's true.
So you also have a podcast that is called Deep Cover. What what are you guys talk about in the podcast? Is it basically stories from back in the day?
Yeah, it's deep cover to real Donnie Brasco and it's on Jamm Street. Media is our production is a production company. It's basically we we've got nineteen episodes in a can and it's basically about organized crime, the mafia, my days, undercover stories that weren't told in the movie or in my books regarding my undercover endeavors. And we're hopefully going to start up. Second season pretty soon, but I said, I really appreciate you guys having me on. When I told my.
My grandkids, they were like, no, come on, you love it. Oh, guys, got to have you. They were like you guys. I tell you what, you guys you guys are, I don't know, your rock star.
Well, you were made guys. Yeah. We actually look at you the same way because I don't know about Big Cat, but for me personally, Donnie Brasco is one of my favorite movies growing up. Loved it. It's it's one that I watch every five years or so. And the story behind it is just endlessly fascinating to me. I guess my first question for you would be like when you were growing up, did you actually want to be in the Mafia or did you want to be on the justice side of the law?
Well, growing up, I always wanted to be a cop. I always wanted to get into law enforcement, you know, and I grew up in Paterson, New Jersey. And I don't know if you guys are aware of any any. Towns are in Jersey, but Paterson was, you know, typical blue collar town and I grew up in an Italian neighborhood, so they were you know, there were white guys in the neighborhood.
I knew white guys growing up, went to school with, you know, some of the kids of the wise guys. But their life never attracted me, you know, and I think I take that back to my upbringing. You know, my father worked in bars, had bars, was a hard working guy. And, you know, although we we knew all that, you know, all the gangsters in the neighborhood, it was always a you know, that's not the way you want to go because, you know, you see the you see the the social clubs, see the guys, you know, nobody who works there hanging out all day.
They got the flash, the cash.
That sounds to me like that actually sounds pretty cool. Yeah. Like you see a bunch of guys in cash flash cash at a social club. That's that's the Triple Crown. Yeah.
It's it's it's it's cool if you're you know, if you lean that way, you know. But like I said, I had a I had a good upbringing. And, you know, look, I'm not going to I'm not going to lie to you, you know, growing up, you know, I gambled that, you know, shot craps in the streets, went to the racetracks, but it just wasn't something that attracted me. I always wanted to be a cop.
And that's that's the way I've won.
So so 1976, you go undercover and it's supposed to be only a six month operation, but you take it takes six months right. Before you even get introduced to, like, guys in the Mafia that you can start doing some undercover investigation for. What was that process like? What was a six months trying to get known and have people be like, oh, this guy is just a guy around the streets. We see him, we know him.
He's not just a random guy who just showed up.
Yeah, well, I had I had just come off a year and a half undercover operation where I had infiltrated a a gang of thieves that were still in high priced automobiles. In other words, you came to us and said, hey, I want to I want a Mercedes Benz. Well, we take your order and then at night we go out to the Mercedes dealership and hook the car. So I did that for a year and a half. I get back to New York and my supervisor was an old time New Yorker who had done undercover in his day guy, Barata.
And he had this idea of. An undercover operation and the initial all undercover operations are funded for six months and then every six months you have to renew them. So that's why it was a six, six month deal. And the idea was to see if I can infiltrate fences. You guys know, offense's our guys that that broke or stolen stolen commodities, goods, swag. And the idea was to and you have to have a profession because nobody nobody is going to deal with you if you don't have a profession.
And so my profession was I was a jewel thief. Mm hmm. And the reason being is that you could do jobs without you don't need a gang to go do jobs. I can bring I can bring diamonds, precious gems around. So I went to school, learned all about diamonds, precious gems, learned about locks, alarms, safes, whatever. And then the idea was we had certain restaurants and bars targeted that we knew that these guys hung out in.
And the idea was to go in and. And hang out and hopefully get into conversation, well, if you know anything about the mob, you don't just walk in and say, hey, I'm Donnie Brasco, I'm a journalist. If I want to hook up with you guys, it doesn't work that way. So it took me about six months going into these different places, just hanging out, getting somebody having having a Heineken. And then finally, I got in a conversation with a bartender who was hooked into the mob.
And that's how I that's how I my actual first. Initiation was with these guys, was to his bartender, that was but was a guy that was hooked up at the Lucchese mafia family had added New York.
So in the movie you get introduced, I guess it's to lefter you help them out by spotting a fugazi, a fake dime. How do you tell if a diamond is Fugazi?
Well, back then, in a day when I was pretty good at it. I had to you know, I had the glass and you look and you see scratches.
You look at the you look at the color, you know, and can you really if it's really a bad fake, then you can tell. But this one this one didn't look really great. And I just took a shot that day. It's a fake, you know, and it was so not to glamorize guys in the Mafia because obviously they are criminals.
But did you have fun? Was it fun when you were hanging out with the guys? I imagine it was fun at times where you're like this is actually like we're hanging out with bossom balls. We're having a good time watching sports, playing pool, whatever it may be. Were there times when you almost had to remind yourself, like, hey, you're a cop, like you're not supposed to be having fun?
Yeah, well, you know, you have to remember you're dealing with human beings. So even though they're stone cold killers, you know, somebody has got a good side to them. You know, they they got kids. You know, they got wise, they got good models. They got kids that that are OK. Some of them got kids that are a pain in the ass like everybody else's kids. So some of them, you know, some of them are jokesters.
When I mean by jokesters, you know, they're they're natural comedians. Some of them are just stone cold. So, yes, you know, during the day when you're not doing anything, you know, you're hanging around the social club, you know, playing gin, BSN guys are cracking jokes, guys are talking politics, guys are talking whatever. And not that they're experts in anything, but you know that they're no normal people that way. So, yeah, you know, you do sometimes you do.
You know, you can bitch around with the guys. You have to because you have to. You have to fit in with them, right. Yeah.
Did you ever did you ever forget that your name wasn't Donny. Like if somebody called out for someone else, like, Hey Joey, did you ever turn your head?
No, actually I never did be honest with you. And that's my middle name. And that's why I took it, you know, but I was used to it. And the funny thing that the operation had just come off, I use the same name. So I was, you know, for a year and a half, I was used to being Donnie Brasco.
Yeah. What was the closest you ever got to to getting caught, having your your cover blown? Obviously we see it in the movie. But was was that true to form, you know, someone that you had worked with in the FBI, had seen you and didn't know that you were undercover?
Well, there were a couple of ones. If you're talking about the movie with the attorney. With the lawyer at the airport. Yeah. That that happened. He can call and call. And we were walking toward each other. And I was with Sunny Black, who was my capo in the Bonanno family. And when you got up close, I just clocked him because I didn't want him to keep calling me and everything. And, you know, Sunny says not what you do.
I said, Sunny, Sunny, do you see what the guy did? And I don't know, can you say anything on here or you see. Yeah, I said he grabbed my prick. You know, I got a clock him and we kept going.
You sort of both young on a movie.
Well, that was an FBI boat, and that boat was used in Abscam. I don't know if you guys ever heard of the big Abscam investigation, the undercover operation the FBI had against politicians. And of course, I was never to be surfaced. And the news media found out about the operation and they wanted to squash the. They were in it. If I'm pregnant, so when I came out in the paper, we were on that boat. I took the wise guys on that boat for a fishing trip and I was left at one time.
We were on an airplane and the picture of that boat was called a left hand. It was on the front cover, I think, of Newsweek or Time. And he looks at it and he looks at me and. He said that he had noticed both. I said, no, I said, I don't know that boat and it's, you know, big picture of it, the big picture, the left hand. And he said, we were on that boat.
I said now we were never on that boat left. He said, yes, we were. I said, How do you know? He said, What's my name? I said, Lefty. He said, What's the name of his boat? The left hand. I see. He said, You think I can forget that? So a few months before he and I have been out on California and. We were having dinner and there were two ladies there and he sent them over dinner.
He said to the waiter, you know, send them over dinner and drinks, whatever they want. And then when they were leaving, we got into a conversation and. I told him myself, remember those two those two ladies? I said, you know, one of them gave me a gave me a card. And she said, if you guys are ever in Miami, you want to go out on the boat. This is my brother's boat, huh?
I said, what the hell do I know? That's how we got you know, that's how I got in touch with him. So I skated on that one. But, you know, he was the you always brought it up to me. But, you know, I had been with him a few years now. So, you know, he kind of bought the story. But that was that was probably the closest. Yeah.
So when you get revealed or when the operation is over and they arrest everyone, did you I would imagine deep down you were like you kind of wanted to reach out to some of these guys and be like because there's an emotional bond that you make over these years.
How hard was that to deal with? Because they're criminals. But you also know them on a personal level and you've been living, you know, with them being friends with them for multiple years.
At this point, I had no no problem with these guys getting arrested, going to jail. I didn't want to reach out to any of them after that. Just the way I operated in all my undercover endeavors is that look. You chose to be a gangster. I chose to be in law enforcement. I'm coming after you. And once it's over, then I leave, I never the only the only way I would talk to anybody after if they wanted to talk to me, I you know, I didn't want to put the cuffs on anybody.
I had no problem. You going to jail now? Obviously, I didn't want to see guys get killed. You know, like I said, they killed Tony Mirah. They killed Sonny Black Napolitano because he was my captain and they killed another guy. Rogerio was due to get killed, but the bureau heard about it. They picked it up on a wire and they grabbed him while he was on his way to get killed. But as far as feeling sorry for these guys, no, you know, that's just the way I feel.
Yeah, that's that's also probably the Hollywood aspect. You know, in the actual movie Donnie Brasco, they definitely make Al Pacino a sympathetic character and kind of a sad character that you feel bad for at the end.
And I was told the reason why is because. They had to make me look like a good guy because. I was a bad guy. Work during the undercover operation, you know, for being with these guys, so they had to make make it like I had sympathy for these guys. Hmm. I don't know. You know, that's the way that's the way Hollywood operates. Yeah.
Is there any is there anything that you weren't allowed to do, like if they had asked you to participate in in like the most grisly crimes that you can imagine and you were in a car with these guys, like, is there something that you could not have gotten out of had you gone along for the ride?
Well, let me say this. The rule and the rule in undercover is you can't get involved in crimes of violence. OK, that that's the rule. However. There's an undercover rule. And that rule is you are your own security. Nobody is going to save your life in an undercover deal except you. All right, example, I was I was given a contract to kill somebody. All right, you saw the movie, the three guys that got whacked in the basement.
Yeah, well, one of it was supposed to be four guys. One one didn't show. I got the contract to kill him, so that means I'm responsible for killing him now. In reality, in the Mafia, you're given a contract, you don't say. The guys, my brother, the guys, my cousin, I know the guys since we were kids. You get the contract, you accept it, otherwise you'll get killed. Mm hmm.
You know, so I had to accept that. I had to go out looking for the guy. But the deal was if I found them by myself, I'd call it bureau. They would grab them and we'd stage a hit that hit and it would be the other way around. So I never found them. They never found them. We get a call one day we're at the club and we get a call. Sonny Black gets a call and he says, Donnie.
Bruno, is that such and such an address? I know I don't. So. The guys, you know, we jump in a car, we're going to go now if I get there and we get there, what am I going to say? Hey, guys, you know, I'm really an FBI agent.
Yeah, like time out. Yeah, Gameover. All right. Jig's up. Let me know. Let's go get some meatballs instead of killing this guy today.
Yeah, right. But I don't know. So in any operation, if it's me or a gangster, it's going to be the gangster. And like I say, I'll take my shot with the government charging me that.
That's crazy. So you had that mental thought like, all right, I'm going to have to go kill this guy.
Well, yeah, if that's the way it came down. Yeah, that's nuts.
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None at all, to be honest with you. Not at all. What I did was.
I went to RadioShack and bought a mini tape recorder. And I would keep it in my sport coat pocket and the jury or my cowboy boots, that that time I had it in my cowboy boots from a just like a logistical standpoint, I'm always curious about how the Mafia operates, how the different families operate. Do you have, like, set times that most people are expected to be working during the day because there's no office? Right. Is there like do some people come in nine to five?
When do when are people technically at work or is it just 24/7? Well, it's 20.
It's 24/7, actually. It's a 24/7 thing. They eat you meet, you meet at your social club, basically, or will you're where your crew hangs out. Everybody everybody's in a crew and a crew is headed by a capo or captain. All right. Who's appointed by the boss? And you have to you have to maintain contact with your capital every day. You know, most guys don't work if they don't if they work, they might own a bar or, you know, or or a business, but they're not out there doing physical labor.
You know, they might check in on their business. But you're main. Your main goal is is is the Mafia, that's that's who that's who you worship.
Yeah. What's what's the vacation like in the Mafia is their policy that they have or can they just like if they want to go away for a couple of weeks?
Well, you got to you got to tell your cappa what you're doing. In other words, if I wanted to go to Disneyland. Right. You got to go. There's Sunny. I want to take my my wife and kids away for, you know. All right. Just check in every day. I'm going to check in. You got to check in every day.
I'm interested I'm also curious about the tie ins with Major League Baseball, the NBA, things like that, because I know that some crews were involved in point shaving issues back then. Was there any, like athletic involved, any any sports that you saw, like having contact with the crew you were running with?
Uh, not the only contact that I know that my guys had was with horse racing. Um, horse racing.
Yeah. What's the state of the Mafia today like? What is it? Does it still exist? Does it I assume it still exists. But like where what is it like today? Do you have any any understanding of it.
Yeah. The state of the Mafia, because I keep up with it, you know, through through to law enforcement basically. They're down reduced to just another organized crime entity. I mean, they're involved, they still involved in drugs, they involved in gambling, you know, everything that that can make them money.
What what what was taken away from them and what they don't control anymore is back in the day. What did they don't control politicians anymore. They're they're out of the gambling business in Vegas and then in Atlantic City. What I mean by that is they they're not taking the takes from the from the county rooms anymore. They're out of the big unions running the big unions they're out of. Controlling judges, law enforcement, you know, and the major unions, but they're still involved in everything, all the other crimes again, but one when when we when I say we when law enforcement took away their ability to control the big unions, control politicians and judges.
And, you know, not that they may not be paying somebody here or there, but not on a major scale like they used to. I mean, back in the day when I was in it, there wasn't anything in the US that they didn't have their hand in making money. Mm hmm.
Did you well, what were the parts of Donnie Brasco that you think didn't get it right? Were they kind of missed the mark a little bit in terms of what your experience was like?
You know, overall, I think it was a good movie and not because it's not a Brasco, but, you know, it's. It's still got legs, I mean, there isn't there isn't a night or day that goes by that that movie's not playing somewhere. But I think I think what what they they they really missed was the real danger. I don't know how you guys feel, but, you know, when I watch it, you know, I kind of get the feeling, man, you know.
So a lot more danger than this movie show. Mm hmm. Well, maybe that's me because, you know, because I was there, I don't know.
This is a dumb question. I know it is. But whenever I watch a Mafia movie or The Sopranos or whatever it may be, is there ever an element where guys like, hey, I've made enough money, I can walk away?
I know that they can. But where did you ever get that feeling from? Guys in the crew like, hey, I kind of want to just stop doing this. You know, I understand the risk.
You know, I never did. I never got I never heard anybody say that they had enough.
That's crazy to me. Just just simply by the fact that, like, you know, if you make a big score, if you have a ton of money and a ton of cash like him, like, hey, you know what? I've had a great run. I know how this is going to end. If I stay here, maybe I'm going to go live my life somewhere else now.
And you know what's crazy is that, look, I was with these guys for six years. I lived with them. I stayed in the same apartment with them, slept with them. You wake up every morning thinking, is today the day I go to jail? Mm hmm. Or is it today the day I get whacked? Right. It's like it's like nuts, you know?
But that's that's that's their that's their mentality. That's their mindset. And if they if they made a five million dollar score today, then tomorrow, you know, they want it to be a ten million dollar score. Yeah. I never heard anybody. Never, never heard anybody say, man, I wish I never got into this life. Yeah, I just can't imagine the anxiety of being like today could be the day that a cop just shows up at hour at the social club or at the bar, and that's it.
Yeah. I mean, it's every day to them was, you know, was what are we going to score today? You know, what will get me killed. All right. No one.
Good. These are good things for an undercover agent to know because you're never going to be in in a deep cover situation where you're not going to get into a beef with somebody either verbally or physically. If I get into a beef with you. I can't insult you in front of other people. You and I have a verbal argument, I can't insult you in front of other people that could get me killed. Take it a step further. We're in this beef.
You give me a smack. If I lay my hands on you, I'm dead. You can't lay your hands on a bad guy, you know what a maid guy is, right? If your listeners don't know somebody has been officially inducted, indoctrinated into the Mafia, OK, never steal money from the family. That all these will get you killed. The other thing, I'll get your coat. You don't fool around with a wise guy's wife, daughter or girlfriend.
That'll get you killed. Mm hmm. So they have these rules and they live by them, they used to anyway, you know, the mob today, they got, you know, what the big downfall of the Mafia was, is. And I saw young kids using drugs. Instead, instead of dealing in it, making money of it, making money from it and let them use it like Christopher.
Yeah, and when he gets addicted to heroin, then citizen goes, kill them and then has to kill them on the side of the road. Yeah. No spoilers. No spoilers at all.
Here's a dumb question you mentioned like a wise guy's wife, daughter, girlfriend. What if you sleep with the wiseguys? Mom is dead.
And I thought maybe that was a loophole. Maybe she's lonely, you know. Yeah, well. Well, maybe if you're single, you're all right. But if you're married, then, you know. Yeah, I look too kindly on that. Yeah.
So I had one last question and you can go listen to deep cover of the podcast. So I was reading about it is they're still actively a hit out on your life. It's never been rescinded. But, you know, I don't think anybody gets up every morning and say, hey, I'm going to look for Donnie Brasco today, you know? Right.
You know, what I do is, is where I live that the neighbors don't know who I am as I'm not really that friendly a guy with good neighbors anyway.
But and yeah, it hasn't been rescinded. But, you know, nobody's nobody's out.
You know, I don't think you have a podcast, so. Yeah, I would assume that you're OK with talking. Yeah. That's kind of like the question, when is the podcast bubble getting its fullest? It's like when guys who are hiding in undercover in fear for their lives have a very successful podcast. It's kind of saturated at that point.
Well, but I'm exhausted. I'm excited to listen to it.
I really am. Because you're your life guy. Yeah, I. Jamsheed hey, can I mention one other thing, too? Yeah. I mean, if it's OK. Yeah.
I have another podcast, it's not mine, it's called the Undercovers. All right, there's one season out already, and I'm going to be the second, second season. And my good friend Eddie follows, who is a retired DEA agent undercover. And you guys may have heard of Billy Queen. Hmm.
The alone and undercover to the ATF agent that spent time with the Mongols undercover. We got a podcast. We just did, I think nine episodes and it'll be out in a couple of months. And the exciting thing is that Ed O'Neill. Ed O'Neill is right, the. He he's he's one of the narrators, the main narrator and. Ray Liotta is the other narrator of it, very cool, that's that's TV out and I don't know, maybe another month or so, the Mongols, when that's the way it was that the motorcycle gang.
Yeah, the Mongols. Yeah. Yeah. Billy Queen. Yeah. But my my my main talk, as you know, is deep cover, real Donnie Brasco. That's what I'm doing with Leo Rossi and Jam Street Media. Of course, it's on other wherever you get your podcasts and. Jam Street Media. You got some got some wearing apparel that that they're selling off of that I'm not a good I'm not a good salesman.
No, no, this is a great plug. I honestly like I'm going to I'm going to listen to your podcast because this type of stuff is fascinating to me. I think I've read maybe seven books in the last 20 years, and five of them are about the Mafia.
I'll tell you, if you read the books, read Donnie Brasco, My Undercover Life in the Mafia, No. One, and then read Unfinished Business. Make that the second one, because that's the rub up and then I got another one out while it's been out a while, called away it a wise guy and that's kind of, you know, how guy how wise guys act and what they do, et cetera, et cetera.
OK. All right.
Tell us what this er probably in the next week or so or is that right. Yeah. OK, yeah.
I got one last question for you. Did you watch The Departed. Yeah. What do you think of the ending where they zoom in on the rat. Did you get that. The zoom in like the rat symbolized a rat at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey again, it is crazy because I told my grandkids, you know, and they're like, wow, you know those guys over the top and my one granddaughter who's she follows or Dave Point.
Yeah. Yeah, it's her boss. Yeah, that's her cat follows if those are honest.
Oh. Oh wow. Are we implicated now like are we implicated as being associates of yours. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
All right. You're under me now. All right. Well, that could be a problem for us. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you so much. Yeah.
Yep. Also have by my contact, if you ever need anything, call me. Great.
OK, I appreciate. It's great. Thank you so much, Joel. Appreciate it, guys.
Thank you very much for that interview.
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All right. I just have sent the I've sent the beta version of our new T-shirts.
I see it. Yeah. Looks sick and change bro. Yeah I like that. Yeah. And that's why you need to name that guy like it doesn't have to be on the shirt. But just that.
Trevor Tyler. Lance, Lance.
Come on Billy, get us something.
The big time Frisbee guys that used to be a concern. My campus name's Brody Smith.
Is Brody OK, guys? Is he. Yeah. You know, Brody Smith. I mean, haven't you seen his video? I was in eighth grade, but it's just one on the record. That is Brody, after all. But it's not the Brody. So no shot. No, no. It's a Brody that changes.
Gitanjali, you would remember the camp, of course. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that I remember. You tell your camera there.
Do you think he saw any future for offing in you? He created not this gulf, but he created ultimate Frisbee as an activity. He invented ultimate Frisbee.
Oh, I camp you like starting with me was saying, look, I know that's guy invented, although he started the league the ultimate frisbee, but that's the ultimate Frisbee is like saying, hey, I invented Zenga, the Mohicans invented all the professional. He did play basketball.
He brought it to is all I'm saying. Got it. Well, that's important. So it's like he introduced it to Jake. Yeah. He, like Europeans, brought football to America. Easy is Eli Whitney.
Yeah, sort of. He discovered he's more like. Yeah, sounds like he discovered ultimately he's more like Paul Raible.
Paul Vrabel Raible is a professional league. Right. But he didn't invent lacross. Right. OK, I see Roseby.
I love that name. OK, that's pretty Vanga change on the shirt dude.
Perfectly. Yes, he did cancel.
All right Hank Firefox's the week. My father as we alluded to it earlier, but. You know, everyone's got everyone's got their favorite, like toy they have as a kid, you stop. Mine was not Mr. Potato real? Yeah, of course it was like, you know, I started with friends and for a while I was like, he's, you know, he's my guy friends, my boy, you know, Mr. Potato Head, he's just like him because of Toy Story.
And then, of course, was like, I liked him. It was like, you know, like someone. And they go mainstream, you know? Yeah, I like them.
You were never a fan of his before school.
I a question, but they changed him today. They, they, they, they massacred my boy. Neutered him. Yeah. They're giving him a spud, a gender neutral name.
New name just is it are they, are they taking his dick. Isn't isn't it, isn't there a Mrs. Potato Head.
Yes. So what the hell's the problem. Right. And I don't know if they're changing her. My sister like the Mrs. Potato Head. I like the Mr.. And now it's like, would I ever even got into him in the first place?
So I would if, hypothetically, you had a stash of old Mr. Potato Head genitals, you stand to make a lot of money because they're about in that realm.
And I'm OK. I'm gonna empty my potato head dicks.
I would love to talk to the founder of Mr. Potato Head. Like what? How high were you, dude? That the dumbest toy ever know. They were originally just another letter like potato.
Potato. Right. So the accessories. Yeah, yeah. Pretty high there. Then when you just started sticking shit in a potato to keep his kids busy.
Yeah. I feel like it's like the fucking 1930s, you know. Yeah that's true.
They better play with like a circular wooden like in a stick. Yeah it was.
That's like taking a potato is better than Gameboy. Yeah. It's like I can take this with me wherever I go. I could take it in the horse to do to use it to be just throwing rocks at trains.
Yeah. All right. Good fire first so far. Is that pretty. What's your fun. Yeah.
It's been a tough week. Oh my gosh.
Oh my fire fest is I'm passing a kidney stone or I did pass a kidney stone like a couple hours ago. I don't know if it's still going through right now. And I've got more Wistow. I was stones. I went to the urologist today to check me out, which it's always weird because they, you know, they got to make you take your pants off you. They look at your dick, looked at my dick. Everything's normal, but they are.
You laugh. No, because I feel like urologists have to have a line for every person that they've got, like they think of what their Joe Klein is going to be when they look at your charts. So that's not super uncomfortable when they're just like moving your dick. And so mine was, hey, are you related to that pilot that landed the plane on the river? And he's like, because your name is similar.
And I was like, my my instinct was in my in my sick brain from five years of doing this podcast, the only thing I could say back to him was, you know, they named a drink after that guy and and he's like he's like, oh, really? And then I just didn't say the punchline to the joke. So I just I just set up the joke, didn't add in the gray goose and a splash of water. But that's the only thing that my warped brain could think to say as another man with a glove is touching my penis roughly.
I think it's fair. I think yeah, I'm lucky I got that out. Honestly, I felt like that was a great interaction after he left the room. Yes. But yeah, I was currently passing one a little bit ago, I think. I don't know. I can't tell if it's still going through my kidney or not right now. But you're looking at my inside is is like the Infinity Stones, the infinity gantlet.
I went to the last stone. Huh.
I guess it's going to be you know, he said, I have at least six. How much longer do we have to live with? He's still a lot. I'm going to be I'm going to be milking it hard. I'm going to be talking about stones. So I've got a I've got an appointment up. Yeah, I got I got a name.
More of them. Yep. Yep. Rock Cartwright. Pardon my take your spikes. OK, I like that one. It's Michael Jordan. OK, bottom line is no Marcellus. I fucked up by eating solids for a week. Now look at me.
Yeah. Although they were PFG came back I was like, hey, how are you doing. He's like, yeah, they told me that sodium is really bad. And then as soon as he was saying that, as the words are coming out of his mouth, he had an order come in like like Enrique, who works the front desk, walked over to the tank and it was just wings and French fries.
Well, and and I, I realized how ridiculous it was because I looked at the receipt of my ordering on Seemless when I ordered the wings as lemon pepper wings. And my my request for additional notes on there was can you add an extra seasoning, please? So maybe, maybe it is some time to cut back occasionally on the soda.
Does this have anything to do with the hat. No, nothing to do with that. Yeah. Yeah. If anything has been helping. Yeah.
All right. My favorites. I have a zit on my nose. It's coming in and it's fucking pain. Doesn't look as bad in person.
Let me see it look bad on that video. I look like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer really bad. It's also just really painful. Yeah. I look like one of those guys who's been drinking for eighty years.
There's no it's going to fall. Yeah. Yeah, if you squeeze hard enough, you look like a clown face t shirt hasn't come out, it's like maybe it's ingrown hair, it just sucks. It's pretty much the worst things ever happen to anyone.
I'm sorry that you're going through that. Right. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know what, though? Yeah, I know. I came in and you know what? Yeah. Billy said all these comments about us seeming old. He did. You're getting you're getting an acne outbreak. Look at you. Are you basically 30? Are you doing a cycle over there? Yeah. Well, TRT, yeah.
Trying to keep up with the young buck over here.
One thing that we should all acknowledge is when Billy was having that conversation with our boss, Erica, he was talking about how old me and big cat were to somebody that's older, to a woman who's older than big. I mean, how do you think that made?
And also through a twenty seven year old tank, you basically called our CEO old to her face also in a way that made it seem like we all have the same job.
Yeah. Billy, I have one more day of motivation that I will stop.
I was just literally trying to show value. I just want that video to get to a million views so everyone knows who stabbed me in the back when I'm in Boston.
Oh, it is very good. So when I well, I'm still going to eat tomorrow, but when I'm laying dead in the gutter and they're like, how did he die?
Well, old age Philly football, Philly football game and fucking gutted him. No father time. What's your favorite recipe?
So last week there were. It's not your pants. No, this is so much more. This is these pants.
Look, they're keeping me warm their work pants covering my.
What are you in the basement? You're like, yeah, I'm wearing this thing. It's just keeping me alive. That's what I do. Their work pants. I'm at work. It's like, no, they're work pants for if you're on construction. Yeah. Yeah.
Anyway, um, last week there's reports out of Tasmania that they spotted the Tasmanian tiger, which went the last.
So humans suck, intend to kill large predators when they go into a new area. So the Tasmanian tiger, the last one died in captivity in 1936. The Tasmanian tiger is a large marsupial, that carnivorous marsupial that the only reason they say it's a tiger is because that striped on his back.
Imagine it's like a shark. It's just a name. It's not actually tiger. You post that picture. I saw a picture. It looks like Stella. Yeah. My dog. Yeah. Yeah.
So maybe someone maybe a brindle marsupial.
Yeah. Well, the stripes. Yeah. It's like half kangaroo though. Yeah. It's like imagine like a dingo with a pouch with stripes on its back in like a really big God was drunk when he made Australia the entire continent.
He was like he was celebrating after making these like I did a great job. We all look at this. This is an elephant. Look at this is an orchid flower. It's so beautiful and intricate. And then look, here's a fucked up duckbilled platypus that looks like it's a beaver that I stapled like a bill to its knees. Giant sharks and fucking.
Yeah, little like enlarge squirrels that crawl really slow up the trees.
You have syphilis now. I'm going to make an island where everything that you touch will kill you anyway.
So there is a trail cam footage of what looks like a family when all one more.
What else are there? Oh, there's a giant rock that I'm going to put out here that just looks like a chicken mound. Yeah.
The biggest spiders you've ever fucking seen that you have to kill with a shovel.
Otherwise they'll eat your babies and you're only allowed to live within two miles of the coast on the entire fucking island so that you're closer to the sharks, wombats, poop cubes.
So really. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I wish I'd like Wally Cubes if I have too many painkillers.
Oh, so there was a trail cam of what they thought was the family of this and everyone was freaking out because they're like nature's healing, like this extinct animal is actually not extinct and turns out was just a bunch of wild dogs.
Yeah. So I saw the biologist that was taking credit for it and I guess he's a pretty respected like he's a big name in the field of animal like zoology. And he was walking down the street. He looked like he was probably like halfway to being Johnny Damon levels a drunk and he just had like an open beer can in his hands. He was a great news. We discovered the tiger. The tiger is not dead. And he's like he's like a famous doctor in Australia.
Oh, he's just fucking hammered it down. This is like that is the most perfect Australian doctor that I've ever seen in my life. Like, he's probably like the fortieth, drunkest person in his was probably his life's work.
So I like dogs. Well, they looked like Tasmanian tiger. I see a picture of by the way, I'm looking at the cubes, the wombats poop. That's pretty crazy.
Anyway, turns out it wasn't and it was really disappointing because I got really fucking dog. I almost started drinking. Now I'm joking, Jake.
Try and take all our characters away. I present to you one of the biggest scams in America. Dropshot Chapstick.
I keep losing mine. It is impossible to finish as I've been on this for a while.
I'll read it in a different way. Go ahead. No, like I have to buy a new one every week. Do you get to fucking wear this necklace? You're also also addicted it you've gotten addicted to it. Yes. You don't even need it at all.
Our darling Jake is addicted to chapstick and nose spray. I'm over that now. Knock on wood. Yeah, but it's ridiculous how many days, Jake, you let's get you off my mind.
My lips don't ever get chapped. Remind me my gift shop. But you know what? Give him a kiss. It's because I use chapstick. Right. But to my point, you got the spike and maybe you should just buy one. It's cheap to three bucks, but then you've to buy one next week and the week after. Do you know anyone who finish a chopstick?
No. Yeah. Yeah. Chaps, his wife.
Oh, I get it. Damn, that's good. That's good. That's good. That is good. All right. That's a show everyone numbers. Ninety nine.
Twenty eighteen eight. Thirty two seventeen. I'm fucking.
Oh, shut up. Mike Greenberg. Mike Greenberg. They're just announced he's going to be doing the NFL draft. I'll get another show, more Greaney, all Greaney all the time. He seriously is has had a power play for every job. And yes, he wanted every he wanted it just to be ESPN, Greaney, 73, 73. They should do it. He should also do like over the top a premium timer. Yeah, like only fan style.
That was a first timer. Holy shit, Hank. Still nothing.
Williams said sometimes it's crazy that we have only had LIEM No. Billy Lierman. Jake Yeah. All right, Billy, you have animal fact for us.
Yes, well, I'm now, but I was I didn't blow my low too early on that one. Off the coast of Ireland, there is an island of feral wallabies that just live there.
That sounds pretty cool. Nice wallabies like smaller kangaroos. Love you guys. Let's go see you guys Monday. Love you guys. Jokingly, I don't know what else to say and say these days and days to find shiny. Coming for your love, OK, Shai. Another day, me. See about set in stone. It's OK. Sadly, it's the same, the same. It's the better to be safe. Some day on. I just love you, all the things I've got in the shop and I'll be coming for you anyway.
He shot it all the time for you anyway. They got me. Take me. I'll be gone. I will be gone.