On today's part of my take, Kirk Cousins, yes, Kirk Cousins is on the show, it was essentially a 30 minute roast, you know, had a lot of questions. We actually said it during the interview. But I think Kirk Cousins is the guest that we had the most questions that were totally weird, probably have never been asked of him, of any guests we could ever have.

He handled it well. You'll see. You'll see how he handled himself admirably. And it pisses me off. No, I'm still make fun of him. Well, of course I'm going to make fun of them. But it pisses me off that I.

I don't have the same level of hatred that I want. He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.

We have Monday Night Football cleanup. We have Wednesday Night Football coming up. We have guys on ChiX hotsy cool thrown embrace debate.

We have it all. It is Wednesday. And we brought you, as always, by our friends at the cash app. We're in the cash app studio.

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No street violence, I'm not having an abortion and all of this. Oh, oh, oh, oh, do you like sports?

Welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app. Go download it right now. Use code, bar stool. You get ten dollars for free. Ten dollars to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, December 2nd and the Philadelphia Eagles fucking sock are dead. They're dead. It was a bird alert last night. The Seahawks crushed him, but the Eagles did cover in the last second and which which stunk. For some of you out there, that was brutal.

D.K. dropped another touchdown catch and we're beginning to think he might have a problem, that maybe his muscles are too big and they push the shoulder pads out, the ball hits the shoulder pads. You can't make body catches. Billy was saying these muscle bound and can't even cross his arms and from his body.

But he did have a pretty good game.

Darius Slay got the two point conversion to cover the spread. It was bad beat. But as math guys, we respect it because everyone knows we are math guys. We are probably the most advanced sabermetrics. We advanced podcast out. There you go for two when you're down.

Fourteen, in my opinion, you just always go for two because two is twice as big as one. And so you'd rather have more points and fewer points. In fact, I was thinking about the whole Cam Newton situation last night because obviously the Patriots are going to have a decision to make. I don't think that they're going to resign, Cam. Yeah, I don't think they have a decision. They don't really. I mean, maybe if he comes back and plays for another like million dollars a year and they don't have anybody in the draft, they can get whatever.

But would a smart team should do is they should just hire Cam Newton to be there all time. Two point conversion, go to guy, go four to every single time, snap the ball directly to him and he either runs, he does that little power run or he does like a jump pass or he can even, you know, to figure out a way to score like Cam Newton is probably the best short yardage football player of all time.

Statistically, Tebow would be the guy. Tebow would be a great guy. Tebow would be the guy for passing. He's the one who could be cheap. He's going to make the match this. No, but he could throw you know, he could throw a little law passed. But so the big story, though, coming out of Monday Night Football is Doug Peterson has officially started the process of getting fired. And I say that because Doug Peterson said afterwards he prides himself on calling plays.

But for the first time, he's mentioned that a change in play caller could be on the table. And we've gone through this many times before. But if you have a flow chart of a head coach being fired, it is always it always starts. Well, actually, it starts with a long, hard look in the mirror.

Sometimes that look in the mirror can last for a year and a half. Christine Quinn. Correct. And then it goes to play calling duties, shuffling the deck or shuffling the chairs on the deck of the Titanic.

He's passing the talking. Stick around. Yeah, this is actually it's actually kind of nice that Matt Nagy and Doug Peterson, who are friends, are essentially in lock step with their, you know, death, the death walk for the end of their coaching career, because they both have taken that long, hard look in the mirror they both now are thinking about or in Matt Nagy's case, giving up play, calling duty. Yeah, this is the next step.

It's like the end of the Titanic where those two old people hold each other's hands as it's going down, they're sitting in bed and everybody cries. But, yeah, I don't think that Doug Peterson's getting fired. I still don't think that he is because he's got the ace in the hole to play and the ace in the hole is going to be we're going to bench Carson Wentz, Jalen Hurts is going to come in. And then if you show a little bit of progress with Jalen hurts, then going into next year, you try to build something.

Right. So I don't I don't think Doug's getting fired. I don't think he's getting this might just be my brain going reverting to the fact that he's a recent Super Bowl champion. He wrote a book called Fearless. So I don't see I don't see him being fired. But it is a desperation move. I don't think he's going to get fired. But this is this is the first step when you have to do this, if you're not long for it, you know what I mean?

Like, there's never been a coach who's willingly said especially an offensive, you know, genius who's been like, hey, you know what? I'ma let someone else call the plays, even though that's the reason why I'm here. And then for some reason, they just coach for another fifteen years for that franchise like that doesn't that doesn't usually happen. So Doug Peterson and then the Myles Sanders thing that this is a similar to a Matt Nagy, they really are just like doing the exact same thing where I imagine Doug Peterson got off the field last night.

They handed him the box score to do his interview and he looked at it and just panic and his face went red. And he's like, fuck. I knew I was supposed to do something, maybe give it to my most dynamic offensive player more than six times, we got to figure out a way to get the ball to Myles Sanders.

That's my favorite coach excuse of all time when they can't figure out how to get the ball to their best running back. Literally, the easiest thing to do in the sport besides beat the Jets is just hand the ball off to your you're like horse of a running back. It's so easy. Miles Sanders, I, I don't think his job is in jeopardy, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I wouldn't be. Carson Wentz On the other hand, he if I were Carson Wentz, I would just fake an injury. Right now I take I take the coward's way out and that's OK to say I take the coward's way out and been like, oh, my knee, it hurts. Oh, I have covered oh. I got to sit out and just be like next next year we'll start fresh. We'll hope it's different. Yeah. Let's just take an extended break here.

Forget everything that happened this year. It was the season from how it's been the season for for a couple of years. But just just do a full flush, fake knee injury. Let Jalen hurts go out there because you're going to because here's the thing with Carson. Wentz won his contract. He's he's probably going to keep his job. And even if he doesn't keep his job, there's a lot of teams that would still be like, hey, let's let's let's let's roll the dice.

And Wentz. Yeah, if you sign him and see what happens, I take him on the bench. If you're. Yeah, if your team like the Bears, it's going to be in purgatory that doesn't have a starting quarterback. That also is not going to get like a top ten pick then. Yes. Carson Wentz is your ideal solution next year. I disagree with you. I like where your head's at when it comes to faking an injury.

It's the coward's way out. I love it. I love that. But it can't be a knee injury.

You can't like faking in-game knee injury. The easiest thing to do right now say that you've had a sports hernia for the last like eight weeks, that you're that you finally need to get surgery on or going for a shoulder scope for every every quarterback that's played at a high level has like some small amount.

Yes. Basically, every every American male that has been jacking off for longer than two years has some long term shoulder damage just from that. So just go to the doctor, have them do like a minor little reconstruction of your rotator cuff. That's going to be five months, six months recovery time and say that it's been nagging you all season long. Therefore, you get to go back and blame all your bad plays on that shoulder. Yes.

Or call Drew Brees and be like, hey, Drew, how exactly did you break all those ribs?

Tell me tell me step by step how you keep breaking ribs even though you haven't been on the field for three weeks.

Try to do the self suck on yourself until you shot yourself down the stairs. Yeah.

And hope that something breaks. So, yeah, that's that game. The Eagles are done there. The Eagles at this point with the NFC East, we've made our jokes. I think that I would be totally fine with any three teams of the Giants, the Washington football team, the Cowboys winning the division, because I can get myself somewhat excited for a playoff game with those three teams. I cannot with the Eagles. I have done it long enough.

I painted on them long enough I didn't bet on last night, which actually end up fucking me.

But I've thought that they were going to turn a corner for so many weeks and it just didn't happen that I am officially giving up and not not expecting anything else.

I mean, it was against the Seahawks, the Seahawks defense last night, right. Where they had their Jamal Adams just straight up blitzing almost every all they do with them. So and you know what they were they turning a corner. Here's the weird thing. They've turned the game. My corner might be turned. Thought I told you a couple of weeks ago they flipped the switch. But Jamal Adams, he's not mind my mother turn a corner. I said that they flipped a switch.

Yeah, they're they're turning the corner, though, like I saw. I tried. I called it a little too early because then what game do they have was the bills game that they got torched.

But this happened. It was a nice corner. I think it was. Turn the corner. You know what it was against the Cardinals. Yeah, that was when they flipped the switch. Yeah, they've turned the corner. They flipped the switch.

They turned a corner and flipped a switch. But Jamal Adams isn't even that good at blitzing. They just blitz them a lot. Yeah, like, yes. If he's not blocked, he can occasionally get to the quarterback.

He wears too many too much tape on his arms. Agreed. It's one too many. Agreed. I don't know. Personal preference.

All right. Other NFL news. We have Wednesday night football, Wednesday afternoon football, because we had to watch a tree get lit up, which is so ridiculous that that's actually the the reason why it got pushed, which is also what RG three is doing to practice this week. Yes. Yes. The palm trees Hagana.

Actually, that's a good spin zone for the Ravens. Lamar is not playing. RG three is taking the start. They haven't been allowed in the facility to practice. All Robert Griffin needs to practice is like a barratry tree. And his wife and Rita Gret just go out there and just fucking drill some palm trees watching him.

Yeah. So that game, I don't know what to make of it. I actually it's weird that they they should have just went with the three forty game and not said, oh it's because of the tree lighting ceremony, because initially when they said it was three forty I was like, oh that's smart. They get the Ravens home at a reasonable time, you know, like it's good for player safety. They get to get back to the facility. No, no.

It had nothing to do with that. It was literally just because there's a tree ceremony, we got to watch the fucking tree get lit, people want to watch a tree. Who cares?

But bonus football. Yeah, it's great. Listen, Wednesday afternoon football, we wrote an entire song about it that's going to make its debut at the end of this episode. Yes. What a treat. The most exciting part of this year is just like getting random days of football. It's like a surprise from the good Lord. But we're not having Thursday Night Football this week.

But we have much double Monday and Tuesday next. We have Tuesday next week. And I'm scared. I'm scared for next Tuesday. I was fine going into it thinking that we were going to play the Steelers on Sunday off a short week, not in primetime. The Washington football team has not had, shall we say, the best record, isn't it, Tuesday night in primetime games? OK, yeah. Yeah. So choose it.

So double Monday, Tuesday night bonus football, even though it's not bonus, but that's how our brains work. We will we will be upset come witching hour. We're like, hey, where are the other games now going to be Monday?

They're going to double the Steelers and the football team Monday at five pm.

Yeah, but then there's a Tuesday night game was a Tuesday night game.

Tuesday night game, I believe is the 49ers in the Bills, Niners the original Monday night game. So then what's the reason? Cowboys. Ravens, cowboys. That's OK. That's right. They're giving the Ravens more time. Yes. So and then the other thing we had from the NFL is like the ultimate. Oh, you think? No duh.

The Texans had two D suspensions with Wil Fuller and Bradley Roby. The Texans strength and conditioning coach is Brian Cushing.

Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. And how bad must those steroids be? Yeah. Right.

To get popular steroids in twenty twenty. Seems so ridiculous. Yeah. Especially if you're a wide receiver. It's actually I don't, I don't poor Shane but it's a poor move.

Billy, let's go to our our steroids analyst. Fuller said he was prescribed by a doctor for them.

So it's not it's no, no it's not 100 percent certain if it's a PD in the way of like a body like a like a head high body or even a you know, we've seen like blood doping.

Red blood cell. Yeah. Oxygen increase.

We have seen that verbal meme live. Look at his doctor. And it's that kid wearing the white lab coat. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So what do you think? You still trying to figure out what I get on TopT for. Yeah. Can you get us make sure you buy the Today Show. I want a report. All right. Let's do hotsy culture. And then we have Kirk Cousins. You know what?

It actually all makes sense. Like the only season that Will Fuller hasn't had his hamstring fall off.

Yeah, he's got to be taking some right. Of course, this is absolutely why he wasn't injured. He just got busted for he got like a horse's hamstring attached to his leg. And that's the. Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense. I think it might be a like HGH peptide injections.

Yeah. Like what's the difference between the peptide injection, the standard HGH?

The peptides are the building blocks of the HGH as opposed to just injecting HGH. So HGH without peptides are basically like you're putting like 93 octane gas into a Chevy Astro.

Got it. Amino acids versus proteins on it. Right. Perfect science class.

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My hotseat is Bill Walton. Yeah. So, I mean, this is kind of a yearly thing with Bill, but I feel like the. Tides turning a little bit on him where he is kind of so he started doing college basketball games. He spent the entire time not talking about the games, talking about random stuff, Asheville.

And like, I don't even know the stuff he was talking about. Asheville Mushroom Club.

Yeah, well, so here's the problem with Bill Walton.

But he doesn't the problem is he's getting to the point where he's not even talking about the basketball games at all.

No, that's not the problem. He's not been talking about basketball games for a very long time. The problem is it's in the middle of the day, Bill Walton is exposed when he's in the middle of the day. There are too many people who are who are watching Bill Walton right now and don't like when Bill Walton is not talking about basketball and he's going off on tangents. It's usually 11 o'clock at night. And you're watching Oregon State versus Washington on a on a Thursday night.

And you shouldn't be up and you're watching it. And it's pretty much just you and Bill Walton right now. The whole world's kind of watching because it's sports during the day and everyone's like, dude, is this guy high? Yeah, he's been high for, like, his whole entire life. It's just now people are paying attention. So we got to get him off of this primetime urd, this daytime.

I think it's partially that. And also partially people are expecting craziness from Bill one.

You know, like he's become too much of a thing where it's for a lot of people, their enjoyment of Bill Walton isn't as pure as other people's enjoyment, which is like he's just a creation of nature that is to be admired.

You don't sit there like you don't go to the Grand Canyon and say, like, tell me are regaling anecdote Bigfoot on the ground.

You just observe it for the beauty that it is already. That's how we need to treat Bill Walton and don't like don't try to make a judgment on him one way or another if he's giving a good performance or bad, he's just Bill Walton. And that should be enough to be thankful for.

This was a clip that yesterday I didn't read out because I didn't want people to start hitting Bill Walton, but it was ridiculous.

And this is a guy who. Jamie, the problem, it was Andrew Johns, yeah, he's been through a lot. And he just goes on, it's like the leukemia problem you get when you get an addiction to leukemia. It's like, yeah, he had cancer. Yeah, like it's not a leukemia like I followed up with you. Ever have any hope around yourself today? Someone to my prostate sucks.

Yeah, I had a couple had to take a couple of zeppos back in the day, get rid of the drip. Jason Binetti, by the way, is a pro's pro. He he actually might be better than Dave Pash with dealing with Byone. He sells his jokes so well today Bill Walton said, Have you ever been inside a sonic boom?

But I said, I have not. And ones that I highly recommend it.

OK, well, I mean, that actually sounds like great advice to me. Yeah. He also had yesterday it was he was talking about a player on, I think, Texas. He's like, this is the best game I've ever seen him play in Japan.

And he was like, well, it's his second career game tells no lies. Yeah. So, yeah, he it's more that and you and if he's usually Billis is calling the mãe so I don't know why.

Yeah. I feel like it's just daytime. Bill Walton. You can't do it.

I have a theory because usually Maui's during feast week, right. Yeah. We have the Champions Classic tonight. He's probably on the call for that.

Got us God to go. So yeah that is why. But it's just we need to get Walton, we need to protect Bill Walton. We can't have him on daytime television where everyone's like, who's this fucking guy? He's been doing the same thing forever.

It's a treat when it's eleven o'clock at night. It's not. It's basically like someone walking into your office and being like, you want to hit this bong versus someone walking into your living room at like 10:00 p.m. being like you want to hit this bottom. There's a big difference there.

And then my cool throne is the Paul brothers. Yeah, everyone hates the Paul brothers.

I feel like it's one of those things where it's kind of like I'm so sick of the Paul brothers, like the Paul brothers. But the Paul brothers could not be hotter in the streets right now. Everyone's talking about him after the fight. And then Jose Canseco, he chirped, Logan, Paul is like, I want to fight one of these Paul brothers, Logan. Paul used to date Jose Canseco daughter. And he replied, It was like, no problem.

I love Smash and Korsakoff's.

Oh, the great response is a great response. And so it's just like, you know, the Paul brothers are as much as people hate them, it's like you can't deny that they're just everywhere.

What I love about the Paul brothers in this particular circumstance is that, like Jose Canseco is a 55 year old version of the Paul brothers, like he tries to do everything that they do and they're much better at everything that he does than he is.

Like he'll do anything for publicity right now.

It doesn't really know why. He just likes having a camera in his face and people retweeting his lies. But like the Paul brothers, at least have an end goal to all their, like, attention during. So, yeah, I mean, that's that's doubly bad if you're Jose Canseco, that the person you want to be also was fucking your daughter.

It's also tough because we we do the rundown yesterday and the comment was made that like it's hot in the streets, everyone is coming out of the woodwork saying they want to fight the Paul brothers.

Yeah. Do the most fishable people in America.

I think Philly big. I think he wants to fight the ball brothers. I think Philly is the best option you could have. He's going to fight Conor McGregor.

No, he's not Connor. Yeah, he is. If there's enough money, why wouldn't Conor McGregor do that, beat his ass and make ten million dollars? Because he does want to train. I, I think listen, at a boxer's fighters, you put enough zeros therein. I think I think McGregor will do it. But you're right. It is like it's the most lucrative industry in America is challenging a brother to a fight. If you can't code, just challenge one of these guys to a boxer.

I mean, you don't hear the realistic situation. Yeah, sure. Let me hear the realistic situation. We weren't fighting, Jake.

We might have to cut this because it's like it's going to sound too smart. OK, but we are right. We don't let that get your finger on the button. Get ready for court. This is the classic. Billy is always a smart.

No, no, seriously, hypothetically, we need to promote the barstool sports mocap in a new state where it's launching. We do this event sponsored by the bar sports sportsbook. We have plenty of sponsors that how we create a bar.

Exactly. OK, we have you sponsor video series, new training.

Here's we have biosecure.

OK, fueling it. Oh. Can I interject real quick. Yeah. So yeah it's for, for your side. It makes sense. Right. But how did Jake pull side.

No, no, no. Actually I think I'm going to watch because of sponsorship money. Tatum pay great.

All that sponsorship money pays for Jake Paul to make the fight worth it dude. Like there's like he's pay.

Paul is going to make a lot of money on his next fight. Right.

You know obviously it's like a giant contribution and media network to actually distribute the fight. But he just fought an NBA like a well-known NBA player. Now, every time I saw that's the thing, every time I saw the Nate Robinson like hype, I was never. It was never.

No, on Nate Roddy. I know what I'm being Bill. I want you to say I look. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm sure we would sell more fights than they did for Nate Robinson.

Basically think we had a little. Yeah, we could not. That's not going to happen because I'm so confused by conversations happening be Jake Paul fighting barstool sports, not me. I'm just, you know, just the tip of the spear.

You know what? You're right. That was to say on the tip of the spear. Can I can I can I throw one last? I'm trying to be positive. I'm good because I just throw a lot of money to be made.

I will pursue this for you. I will work to try to get this done. And by that I mean do not unlike what you could pay me.

Nothing to do it. It would make more money for the company.

I need you free. I need you. I wouldn't fight for free. I was negotiating wizard, you know, like I fight for like a contract.

How much?

You know, like you lose like 20 bucks. Well, I actually have a contract with Loser leaves town like no, I fight for like a car like that.

I like a technical feel about this fight for health benefits. I really I fight for health benefits. How about the fight? Every well, you'll fight for health insurance and if you beat him, then he has to be your replacement. Internal part of my take.

Yeah. And you get to go live the life of a Paul brother. I don't want to live his life. If I won that fight, I would legitimately sushila here. Like, I don't want to live the Jake jackpot. Here's my concern. Billions of dollars doing nothing in L.A. That's like everyone like I don't know, he just he's like he's I don't like his moral compass.

I do think you should go to the suicide force at Logan and go there and be like I'm here to avenge you for being forsaken by the Paul.

I know the same thing he did, you know, but on their side, like getting revenge for the fall against the possibility. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. But here's my problem. Here's the only here's the only last thing I'll say. I feel like we would actually get this done. Like if we if we got this done, you would then send a text on like a Monday afternoon.

We'd be like, hey, bro, sorry, but my parents really want me to graduate, so I'm going to have to be out on this Jake Paul fight.

I mean, by the time you get settled, I'd probably be graduated already.

We have in 2012, we could make the best rocky style montage of you training in your barn, chasing the chickens around.

I mean, like, I can try getting your strength going with frog frog. I have a frog on every finger, but then we'll get reaching into the stream, catching fish with your bare hands, which I believe that you can do. Billie. You can.

Anyone can. I mean. All right, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. Say no more. I'm it. Let's try to do it. I got I used to build one thing you need to learn a lot more about is when to stop talking, when you're going to negotiate himself.

The liar over the last five minutes after Big Cat has said yes.

I mean you've just been continually weakening your case. I don't want to rebuild.

Where are you going to talk about your bet on your high school throne? I forgot you already have a hot school. Oh, yeah. Well, last night we were we were playing war zone. Those guys get all the better back.

I thought they were hibernating, so I sealed up. I don't eat. I don't eat the bats, don't eat the bats. We don't we can eat. We've been through enough already as a society.

But I really I mean, I may be right. I mean, I just like I think like. Yeah, for me we stop fucking talking. We already we talk about six minutes ago.

My hot seat is Zimmers Zumiez are firmly on the hot seat. Forbes came out with a 30 under 30 list today and they put football players on it.

So basically rendering the entire list moot. Here's my here's my thirty under thirty. Patrick Mahomes. Jubera, not Taysom Hill is too old. Lamar Jackson on there. Darren Rovell still. Yeah, that's about it. So people understand like the thirty four thirty lesser essentially like whoever you basically hit up the person who's writing the list like hey I nominate myself.

Yeah.

Anyone that, that is actually truly on a 30 under 30 list that isn't a professional athlete is probably a huge loser. That's not going to be on the under forty. Yes. And we count ourselves.

We are a couple. Yeah. And they all suck. What's up Billy? We have some breaking news.

Oh, breaking news. I did this on the 30 under 30, actually. Sick news actually.

No, this will resonate with the Zimmers trace. McSorley has been activated for the game tomorrow.

Hellyeah and Trades McSorley's one of those famous quarterbacks on Ticktock. Can you sing a song?

There's a very of my sources, Jake, pointing, poking me and saying, look at my Twitter. And can you talk about the show?

I can't do the math right now. How much is Purdue up? Thirty two. Yeah. All right. Can you sing a song?

It's a really good song to sing it to fall and throw it on a dime like I even try. And name is Tracy Sorley.

Anyway, it's a great song. All right. Yeah, the electric is breaking down. Breaking news we're talking about. Oh, Trace McSorley can trace.

McSorley is going to back up RG three he's going to get on Wednesday.

Well, that's the thing. Like RG three. We talked about this before the show. RG Three's absolutely going to get injured. I hope that he doesn't. But I mean, I've never been so confident people out of my.

We need to get some headphones so he knows when when he's talking that the microphone cool through. My concern is Christmas trees, Christmas trees back on the throne big time it is Christmas tree week in America. Always happens a week after Thanksgiving. I used to be a Christmas tree salesman.

I'll put out a Christmas tree buying guide this year. I feel like that's that's something that America could use right now.

All the dos and don'ts when it comes to finding the perfect holiday tree. But bottom line is, get yourself a fraizer for don't go for Douglas fir. Don't let them talk you into a fucking spruce. Worst of all is go with a Fraizer for as a form of Christmas tree salesman. I can tell you actually you're not. No one's ever former Christmas tree salesman.

I'm right in between selling Christmas ornaments at the moment, but I'll put out a buying guide for you because it is it's the most magical time of the year.

All right. My hotseat is 20-20 because we were finally in the last month and it's starting Boice. It is starting. We're back to this is the last month. And once we get to 2021, all of our problems are solved.

I'm so ready for this. Objectively, 20/20 has been a shitty year. Yep. But once it turns January 1st gets what s.a. We are living high on the hog.

Dude, I just love the treats of being like last month. We've almost made it to what the minute it turns January 1st we're still going mean it's hell skippable world positive.

Yeah. Positive vibes, positive vibes. We are one day closer to a vaccine and being back to normal.

There we go. There we go.

We did see one day closer to Billy football getting his skull caved in by Jake. Paul Foushee said it's possible we could have full NFL stadiums by September.

So, yeah. So when he said that my heart sank because it dawned on me how we've completely fucked this entire season.

Like my mind, I was still in the mindset, like maybe in the playoffs we'll have full stadiums and things will be rock and, you know, a massive crede halftime show at the Super Bowl. No, nope.

Not going to happen that quote. It's possible by September, according to. OK, all right, let's go. Positive only. Oh, my cool drone is Tyler Hero Jersey, the city, Jersey, Miami, Miami just keeps the heat. Just keep releasing city jerseys because I think they're like these colors are so cool. We'll just do a new one every year.

But that Tyler Hero city, Jersey is going to be the most worn jersey at Lollapalooza whenever Lollapalooza comes back or all the EDM festival, it's pretty safe. It is a jersey. And then also Bob Stoops, all my cool thrown because he's back. Lincoln Riley has mentioned that Bob Stoops is actually helping out with practice because the coaching staff in Oklahoma has been hit with covid.

I love that. I want there's I love old coaches coming back. It's a Barry Alvarez move coming back for a game, just filling in. It's a great I hope he coaches I hope he's the head coach on Saturday Iblis. I love it when they just they go back to practice and just stand on the sidelines for a while just to observe practice.

We welcome back our our old coach.

Remember, he was in the back of any Woodhead not too long ago. Huge balls. Yes. Massive balls, huge balls, ball sack.

Four days. All right, let's do. Jake, why don't you give us hotsy cutrona.

Thank you. My hotseat is he always comes prepared, folks. Yeah. My Hotsy is Jim Schwartz. Yes.

Good. We surely met Schwartz on the hot seat. He mentioned the recurring guest, Dick Metcalf, and him, I guess, got a little postgame comments pregame pre game. Sorry. Yeah. And Dick responded with the Jordan meme. Me that personally. Any Baldwin? Yeah. Ten for one. Seventy seven. Yeah.

Well, what he took personally was Jim Schwartz saying you're kind of like Calvin Johnson, you're not quite there yet, but you're on your way, which he took his disrespect. I like that from Dick. I don't he's not. He's Pegatron because well, fuck you in the ass. This also reminds me of I. I feel like this is Jim Schwartz. Now, Jim Schwartz is a dickhead, but I feel like he didn't say that.

I feel like he probably went up to Dick Metcalf and was like you. You remind me more than anyone I've ever seen of Megatron.

Oh, is a million percent accomplished? Yes. Yes. But they all he heard was like he heard this guy. He heard, like, what's his name, La Bradford. Yeah. Being like, I think I can score points against my defense.

All right. And then you could throw on him and then my cool throw. Not not meant to be political walking boots. Yeah. Joe Biden's in walking boot and anytime someone with big stature is in a walking boot, just the picture is interesting.

It is. Yeah, it is. It is just he's OK. Celebrities get injured too. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Nice job, Billy. Do you have anything that you miss on your hearts? You know what I need? You know what I need. We'll know. You're fine.

I need Dr. David Chow, pro football doc, replying to like Joe Biden tweets with his diagnosis that you have to pay extra money for how long it's going to take.

Yeah, that was that was the worst thing that I've seen when he was, like, replying to Joe Burrow. Yes. Joe Brorby like, I'll be back. And he's like, here's a replay of Joe Buhrow getting his knee broken behind, way behind a paywall. And here's my diagnosis. Yes. Yes. Billy, what was your Hotsy going to be real quick? You know, it was a good one. You were talking about basketball.

It's OK to mobilize Hotsy no more beliz hotsy. It was going to be.

Mormons and why were Mormons on your hotsy, BYU is playing in the Roman SWIP classic against the Trojans and I didn't think that would really be good for their celibacy, no use protection.

So they smoked. And you know what smoking is? I did not know smoking was, but now you do. I don't hear about the just lay in it. Yeah.

You just put it in and then you just you stand perfectly still and it's not considered fucking if there's no friction where in it and inside of in the hole dude into getting that hole.

Great to know you have the billion to topple. Yeah, you get it, John. John Smith is a revolutionary. There we go. All right. Good job. You didn't talk too much. All right. Let's get Kirk Cousins, Kirk Cousins before we do that. No, what makes this time of year wonderful? The music. And I'm getting my holiday music fix with Amazon music simply having a wonderful Christmas time. You're going to hear that all the time.

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Oh OK. We now welcome on. A very special guest is quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, Kirk Cousins. He has a cereal out Cinnamon Lake, Minnesota. Snaps You can get him at five grocery store online at BSEE Dotcom, Kirk Cousins Foundation. We actually are in the cereal game, too. So now we're competitors. We just released our own pardon my flakes, Kirk. So thank you very much for joining us. Just so that we're put all of our cards on the table.

I'm a Bears fan. Also Wisconsin grad is a Washington football team fan. So we've said some things. Do you want to do the hard questions first or the easy questions your call?

Well, I grew up a Bear fan, so I grew up in Chicago. So I'm with you. You know, I know what that life is like and it's not good. Let's go. Let's go hard first. I can be flexible.

OK, all right. What the hell were you doing with your grill when you put the tinfoil down with the steaks?

You know, I like my steaks to stay juicy. I don't like when the juice just drips into the grill and the grill absorbs it. So I figured I like to keep my steaks as juicy as possible. Now, I've since been told that I need to sacrifice that to be able to get that true grill flavor. Yes, sir. Yeah, that was the last day I used aluminum foil ever, but that was my thought. But apparently it was a flawed, flawed thinking.

OK, yeah, yeah. You're coachable. You don't get the taste, the fire if you've got the aluminum foil boat down there, because we might have said that you are in a franchise quarterback solely based on that.

Yeah, and rightfully so. Right. I mean, that was my fault. But the good news is that I was able to fix it. You can pivot. Yeah. From the steak. And since then we've been doing just fine on the grill. Yeah, that was probably my hardest question. I've got a couple, I've got a couple of hard ones.

I did say on yesterday's show that you were a perfectly nice quarterback. You're a fine young quarterback, I think is what I said. So I've come around a little bit, but I have said some bad stuff, so I'll get this off my chest. I said the worst part about Kirk Cousins making eighty four million dollars a year is that he's going to spend it on lame stuff. He's probably just going to stuff it and mayonnaise jars and bury it in his side yard.

So is that true? How much do you use mayonnaise.

Ah like ah like mustard jars.

You know what, you got to diversify so as many different jars as possible. You know, you want to spread your assets out, cast a wide net.

Yeah. You know I'm probably not the biggest spender. I'm not going to blow all my money if that's what you want to see me do. I'm happy to entertain some ideas of how I could blow it.

But yeah, I'm probably going to try to save more than I'm going to spend. Yeah, you got me pegged correctly there.

Well, you did have the story and I would love for you to retell it for our listeners that you once inquired about getting Creed to play a private party, creed, the band to play a private party for you. Now, that is a good use of money, I would say.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that being understanding. Yeah, not even Creed. Creed would probably be too pricey, but Scott's just the lead singer, huh? I was interested in getting him to come in and do a private concert just with an acoustic guitar for just my. Private customer, audience and customer set list, and he would have to do it. I just wanted to know, you know, is that possible? And they told me, yeah, for for a price, anything's possible.

So they got my wheels turning, but it could still happen, you know, down the road, maybe. I think maybe you'll be invited. Who knows? Yeah.

It's going to happen to be there for that. I mean, they're going on a reunion tour right now. I think there's talk. Are they a band getting back together? Yeah.

And I saw you that you knew there. No, I just didn't know that. I know my dream is even more likely, but I've been on it to bring it to my house. I may be able to go see them in a town near me backstage.

Or even better, I saw your high school seeing clips that went viral on Twitter the other day.

Maybe we can get you on stage singing backup for hire or arms. Which song would you want to sing with Creed on stage?

That's a tremendous question. It's like try to pick your favorite kid. Yeah, I'd say harder. You know, I have two boys. It's hard for me to say that I like one more than the other and create songs are kind of a similar similar thing. But yeah, with arms wide open, higher, one last breath. I mean my sacrifice. I mean how do you pick. You can't. But, you know, going back to those singing videos from high school, if you thought I was embarrassed about having aluminum foil on my grill, that's nothing to seeing yourself.

Fifteen years later, singing songs from high school and having to relive that. And then every few years it comes back up on social media and gets recycled. That's far worse than aluminum foil on your grill.

Well, I was actually surprised that you weren't bad when you were singing. So when you started singing, I was like, yeah, that's embarrassing. But I wish he was worse so that I could laugh at it more.

You know, that was the line all my teammates said, you know, they brought up they laugh and then they're like, you're actually OK. So it's hard to tell them. Maybe I'll be good enough where Scott Stapp will see it. Yes. And when he comes in does the private concert, he'll let me duet on a few of the hits.

Well, so speaking of embarrassing things, what about the sandals with the toe sandals? With socks?

Yeah. I mean, again, that one I'm not gonna feel as badly about because I got up that morning. I put on socks. I was in a hurry. I couldn't find my shoes. So I throw on sandals and I said, that's it's going to be that way, you know, I'm not going to care too much. Still wasn't my best fashion choice, but it was functional and got me through it.

How are you to go?

We got a job. You got to get you some crocs. Put those in sports. You definitely actually got a lot of Vikings quarterbacks in history. Yes. Big time Crocs.

At one point, I did accuse you of running an illegal dogfighting operation out of your house in Virginia because you put up a bunch of pictures of you holding the dogs that you were fostering at the time. And in one, it looked like you were threatening to just spray it with a hose. I guess you were giving it a bath or taking care of it or whatever, but it looked like you were waterboarding it. So I wanted to give you a chance on the record to refute the fact or confirm it.

If it is true that you were fighting dogs in Ashland, Virginia.

We were definitely fostering dogs. We had more with you, as you said, fighting or foster, I heard.

And then we were definitely fostering, OK, fostering covid. And that was it. Pet supplies plus. And they had a little dog washing area where we could go with the hose. So the dog didn't enjoy getting a bath, but it was far from far from waterboarding.

Here's one. So we don't have to get into, you know, the pandemic. But if I die die thing, I did reply if I can't mock Kirk Cousins and I also do not care if I die. So I said that to on that one I did a little better. Glad I'm glad I've given you guys so much material. This is a roast now. I don't know if you want you realize you walked into a roast chicken to talk for a second.

We're getting it all out of our system. Yeah, it's only fair.

The last thing I want is for you to do this interview and for you to somehow like us. And then everyone sends you all the bad stuff. We've said writes, wait, these guys wouldn't say that's my nightmare. No, we'll say what you're saying is. Yeah, face.

Are you are you a daddy guy? Are you a stats guy?

And my stats. Yeah. I pay attention to like data.

Oh yes and no. I mean at the end of the day, not really. But at times if you have a discerning eye, OK, I ran some data, I did a little no visualization thing.

You might have heard the story came out a couple of years ago. How James Harden, when he plays on the road in cities that have the biggest strip clubs, he has worse games. And I don't know if there's a correlation, but somebody did like some research on that. I actually did some research that said that when Kirk Cousins plays on the road in cities with the largest megachurches, you're 10 and 15 as a starter as opposed to thirty one and twenty five in cities without the mega churches.

So do you think that's a problem? Do you go do you sip too much communion? Do you like do you get exhausted spiritually from spending too much time on the road in these churches before you play games?

You know, I like that stat. I mean that talk about having a discerning I know that's a stat you could really draw something from. Yeah, you know, the megachurch beats you to know which cities are considered to have them in which cities aren't, and maybe with that information I'll be able to try to write that that alone.

Yeah, it was like it was Charlotte, Chicago, Dallas. And then put a lot of those games were the primetime games that people have given you grief for over the years. So there's like a little bit of there's some overlap between prime time mega church games.

Do you hear that, by the way? Do you hear the prime time stats like does that ever is there anything different or is it just, you know, it hasn't worked out sometimes and it happens during primetime. Yeah.

I mean, you get asked the question. So that's when you hear it is when they ask you. But I think it's more of just, you know, didn't get the win. And, you know, it's a stat I wish was different, but it is what it is. And hopefully going forward, you know, we can start to win those games consistently and start to kind of change that narrative.

I think you actually are trending in the right direction because you obviously you beat the bears in primetime this year, the Seahawks game last year. I want to say we're early this year where you guys that wasn't like on Kirk Cousins. That was just Russell Wilson at the end. So I think it's trending trending in the right direction about this Vikings team, though. You guys had a tough start. Does it feel like we can make a push here for the playoffs?

And that was actually a great we're taping this on Monday, a great game winning drive against the Panthers on Sunday. But how does it feel knowing like you guys can't really lose any more games and he got to keep the momentum going forward?

Yeah, we don't have a lot of room for error. I mean, we started one in five. So even if, you know, you have a great month in November, you're only back to and we're not even five hundred yet. So we have five games left. You know, we're going to have to play our best football in these last five. But it's nice to be in the hunt, you know, because when we were one in five and going into our bye week, we weren't in the hunt.

And so it's it's exciting to know that we're going to be playing meaningful football in December, but we are going to be playing our best football team.

When you played the Cowboys, no, not to, like, knock you, but I lost the Chevy Silverado on that game. You you guys lost the game to the Cowboys. Did you know could you feel playing that game that Mike McCarthy had smashed a watermelon the night before in a pregame meeting with his team?

You know what? I didn't know that until you just told me, but I did think they played with a lot of energy. I thought it was just because they were coming off a bye. We don't even know. But maybe it was the watermelons, the smash watermelon.

It absolutely was. You should see. You should have like someone should have figured that out and told you guys beforehand be like, hey, listen, they smashed a watermelon last night.

We're going to get their best effort.

That's the kind of scouting report that would have made a huge difference. And I am disappointed that our scouts didn't get that information back to us before kickoff.

Yeah, your coach, Mike Zimmer, is an all time football guy. We love them. We got to meet him. Just real briefly, more than anything, we just saw his truck in the parking lot, which is just filled to the brim with with Redman pouches in the center console. Yes, he's a big football guy. What does he do that's kind of along those lines of, you know, a pregame meeting that he has and he needs to get you guys fired up?

Has he ever, like, pulled out a prop or do anything crazy to get you guys amped up?

You know, that's not really his style. I don't think he's about the theatrics. I think he's about ball. And so he's a man of few words. It's about just, you know, few words, you know, let you play, do the talking. And but he wants you to be physical. He wants to run the ball and impose your will on people. And you feel that from him, you know, and I think you guys know him.

You know, he's a no nonsense guy. And, you know, if you have red man in your center console, you probably are a no nonsense guy. So, yes, that's who he is.

I've always had this theory that with Mike Zimmer, he doesn't really like any quarterback. And so his quarterbacks always want to play hard to kind of like gain his approval, because if it were up to him, he just played defense the entire game and that's what he loves. Do you feel that same way that it's like I really need to show out to make Zimmer appreciate when I'm able to do because I know he just hates my position.

You know, I've never heard it put that way. But there's no doubt that, you know, you want to keep Coach Zimmer happy and and he's a defensive coach. So it's going to be hard to keep him happy. But it also doesn't help, you know, because one of the best ways to keep a defensive minded coach happy is just protect the football, you know, just don't screw it up. And so earlier in the year, I was leading the league in interceptions.

That's not where you want to be. So you thankfully, you know, the last few weeks we've been a little bit better start to get on the right track. But, you know, hopefully I can get back in his good graces.

This is a weird one, but we have a theory that you look shorter in purple. Have you noticed that when you're in, you're all purple, you look shorter?

Well, I'll tell you what, guys, I'm learning all kinds of stuff right now. So thank you. Thank you for all this information coming at me. I'm having a hard time digesting it all at once. But, you know, they say white, you know, all white. If you were against your bears on Monday night, they say makes you look fatter.

You know, I thought all purple might make you look a little slimmer. Obviously, I'm actually trying to look fatter with how skinny I am. The linemen have a different opinion.

Yeah. If I look a little shorter, OK, you know, as long as I still am what I am height wise, I'm OK with that.

Just look, just check it out. Next time you guys play at home, just check it out. Like look at yourself in the mirror as you go out there and be like, wait, I do look a little maybe it's a helmet to helmet. So, like, I feel like your helmet doesn't fit all the time.

Yeah. Because you're always you're always sprinting up to the line of scrimmage. You have a lot of energy on the field. So every time you get a first down, I always see you moving quickly up there.

It always bobbles a little bit. Does it does it fit.

It actually is pretty snug. Maybe it's not the helmet because the helmet is what it is, you know, for everybody. Maybe it's my face. Maybe that's the problem. Yeah.

It just might that in my face, like this guy around here. Yeah. I think my my head in my face in a problem which harder to change.

You have a great jawline. Say something nice about Kirk Cousins. Great job. Yeah.

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Now we're cousins.

I'll also say something else. Nice. I love whenever professional athletes bet on themselves. So when you're going through that and you're betting on yourself and you're playing, you know, on the franchise tag, was there an element of like nervousness like, hey, if I get a really bad injury or something bad happens, I'm kind of screwed, not screwed because you're still making a lot of money, but screwed in the long term. You don't have the security of a long term deal.

You know, there's always risk. You understand that. But there's risk even if you have a contract in place for long term that, you know, things can change. And so, you know, I didn't feel like a long term deal is suddenly going to just make everything better. And I didn't mind playing year to year. Didn't bother me a whole lot. Purchased an insurance policy, you know, just to be smart. And then you go play.

And, you know, I had talked to to players, even in other sports who had done a similar approach. And they kind of, you know, helped me understand how the best way to go about it.

Yeah, I do. I do love it. And obviously, when you became a free agent, you were heavily courted. We actually had Von Miller on this show and he called you Reanna. So he loved you.

And I know you guys there in that off season, you know, they say, you know, find somebody who who appreciates you the way Von Miller appreciates Kirk Cousins, you know, back he was in my corner. And when you have one of the best players in football in your corner, it's a good feeling.

And in the New York sports media hated your guts. So you like. They did. They were like, oh, he used the jets, which I don't understand that argument of how, like, you can. That's what negotiating is. They just were upset that you negotiated. But that had to feel good going into free agency and having multiple teams be like, yo, we want Kirk Cousins right now.

You know, it was it was just a great thing to have a fit here in Minnesota where you felt like you were going to a team with a great locker room, great coaching staff, great facility, great fan base. I mean, I can go on and on. It was just the right fit. You know, we were hoping that you could find a great fit, but you didn't know until you really got to free agency. And then you see that, boy, this this is a home run.

You know, I'm just thrilled that it all worked out.

How many steak dinners did you make people take you out for during that whole process? Was there a team where you were like, you know what, I already know I'm going to the Vikings, but I could use a night out at Ruth's Chris like the Tomahawk sounds pretty good to me tonight.

Did you like just one of those on at the end when you talk about, you know, being courted, it would have been fun to kind of have it be drawn out for two weeks and everybody tell you how good you are for two weeks, whether they believe it or not. But honestly, it happened so fast. I mean, free agency now in the NFL is a quick turnaround and the news breaks seemingly right when free agency starts. And that was, you know, pretty close to my experience.

So I only visited the Vikings. You know, the deal was pretty much done before I even touched down in Minnesota and then the next day signed the contract to make it official. So it was a quick, quick process. But but honestly, that was a good thing to just, you know, be right the business, get it over with and then go get to work on building your team. Yeah.

When you got there, how excited were you that you had a general manager that knew what your first name was?

You know, I'll just I'll punt on that question if I can get one on top.

It's fine. I listen, I've got family and McClain. We do have that accent where sometimes you say Kurt instead of Kirk, it happens.

It's a difficult it's a difficult first name to say. And I'll I'll agree with that. One hundred percent.

So you have an unreal rookie wide receiver and Justin Jefferson. How quickly did you know, like, this is a dude? Was it almost instant or did it take a little bit of time?

You know, that's a great question. And I'm disappointed to tell you that I didn't realize it as quickly as I wish I did in my defense. I don't know that we all realize that as quickly as we should, partly because we didn't have preseason games, we didn't have OTAs. We had him in the slot, you know, playing that slot position, which is really what he played most of his final year at LSU. And we moved him outside to the Exposition Week three.

And that's when I realized, oh, my goodness, he's he's the real deal. He made some plays in that game that were that were serious. So and he's never looked back. And, you know, we're lucky to have him thrilled to have him. You know, there were several other first round receivers in the draft and. I'm just thrilled that he's he's on our team. So when you when that moment happens, when the light bulb goes off, is it he makes an incredible play or is it you make a pass?

That wasn't a great pass and he makes you look good. All right.

I mean, if I make a pass is not a great pass and he catches it, that's an incredible play. So it was a go on third down that I threw to head versus man coverage. The ball was a little bit under thrown. He adjusted to it and he pointed it and came down with it for a conversion. I just said to myself, I'm talking to myself at this point out loud saying he's really good. And then later in the game, he caught a deep roll versus man coverage, separated, made the safety and scored a touchdown that was, you know, maybe 60, 70 yards.

And again, you say, you know, not everybody can do that. So, you know, and it was just great. We never looked back. Since then, he's been productive every week in and out since then.

So that was week three against two, Tennessee, Tennessee. All right. We're going to go find that. That's I mean, that's cool. It's it's cool to have, like, a moment where you can look back like, oh, that's exactly what he was talking about. We're going to find that.

Was there one of those moments this year? You know, you guys are one in five after that. Was there an instant where you realize, like, things might be clicking or things felt different where you got a little bit more optimistic about the rest of the season?

Well, you know, the way the games played out, I was pretty optimistic all the way through because we lost week one. We moved the football well, scored thirty four points. We got to we got it handed to us in Indianapolis. That was a disappointing effort, week three to play Tennessee. And it came down to final play. And so and you knew Tennessee was a good football team and we knew that we were one play away from having a win against them.

So we felt we're a lot closer than it feels at all in three. And then we went one to Houston and then we went to Seattle and played Seattle down in the final play. You knew that that game was was one play away from it go in a different way at several points in the game. So, you know, you started to say, boy, we've played some undefeated teams where we were right there on the final snap of the game and just didn't get it done.

And so at one in five, we felt like we were closer than the record would suggest. And we had a bye week. We had a chance to kind of regroup and evaluate and then have had to have had a much stronger November.

This is a really weird one. You probably don't even know this, but December 30th, twenty eighteen. Did you happen to look in your Instagram comments right around that time?

No, not that date or any before or any after.

OK, because there was I don't know how this happened. It was very, very strange. There was a bunch there was so a bunch of Brazilians were commenting on all your posts saying that this guy, Claudio Cardosa, who I guess is like some fat guy from Brazil, beat you in football, in college football, and you were literally getting like cyber bullied by these people saying free. Claudio Cardosa, do you know Claudio Cardosa? Do you know who?

I don't believe I do. I don't know him by the name there. And he beat me in like a throwing competition or like a video game or so I'm looking at it.

So it was I think this is free. Claudio Kardos is frags, Claudio Cardosa. And then someone said, what the hell is going on with this hashtag? And someone replied, Some guy in Brazilian AF group said that he beat Kirk Cousins while playing in the NCAA. But the guy is so unathletic, in short, that it's obvious that the story is fake. But Brazilians in the Internet are Zorro's and the Zucchero never ends. So we are mocking Kirk for losing to Claudio Cardoso, a.k.a. the Goat.

I am all about that hashtag free Claudio. I am off on that.

It was so strange and it just made me laugh so much that like some group of Brazilian people on the Internet were like, we're going to go after Kirk Cousins today and I'm totally OK with that.

And it's good.

It's it was one of my the funniest, like, weirdest random stories. And yeah, around late twenty eighteen, Claudio Cardosa was coming, the rent was due and he was coming for your ass.

I love that we're teaching you things about yourself that you might not have known because like this is our lives as a fan, like we observe everything around the game and as you're actually playing the game, you don't spend time worrying about stupid stuff like does my helmet make me look short on photos? Yeah. Yeah.

What you guys you guys got a lot more. I got a lot more swing thoughts now let's just put it that way. Yeah. Yeah. But who knows. Maybe they'll be helpful.

Swing thought how much do you actually because every, every quarterback says Oh yeah, I don't listen to that stuff, I tune it out and I do think that there is some truth to it. I do know we've talked to guys and it's clear that they are able to tune it out. But at some point you hear some of it. Right, like how does that work? Is that just the TV's on or somewhere you're throwing your friend says it?

Or do you have like a strict policy? Don't bring outside noise into my head.

Well, we have an. They felt mandated time to speak with the media every week, so it makes it hard to to not hear it if they're literally asking you about it. But outside of that time, I am pretty ignorant. And, you know, there was a moment last year where a player on another team and, you know, made a comment about me and I played the entire game and knew nothing about it. And after the game, it was the first question I was asked and I said I wasn't even aware that he said it.

So ignorance is bliss. I believe in that. And as a result, I try to stay as ignorant as possible. My wife and friends and family know that, too, so they're not updating me. But obviously, you know, there are certain things that you're going to hear it because you're talking to the media two, three times a week.

Well, here's here's how you can spend all your money. Instead of putting into mayonnaise jars, you could hire us to be your, like, security team. We will give you a briefing once a month like, hey, there's a fat Brazilian dude that's saying he kicked your ass in college. What do you want us to do about it? We could do that for you. You guys would be worth the money. And then you can go take care of the problem and make it go away so you can notify me and erase the problem.

Now, you're really worth the pain.

OK, that's actually easy because we're like the Mafia because half of the problems are us. We create them. So we could just silence ourselves and be like, we got to Kirch. We'll stop saying, you look short and your purple.

I would be basically I'm paying you to talk nicely to me about me on your show. You really ought to say that.

So I think that idea that way in today's daily briefing, there's a five foot eight weird looking guy with long hair that keeps saying that his dumb intern looks exactly like a stronger version of you. I'm going to make that stop a yelp. We got that taken care of Dodge.

You walk off your plate. Don't worry about that, guys. You're on the case. Yeah, I'm just curious, do you remember back when you obviously remember when you got married, but your wedding registry went public back in December and a bunch of people bought you presents? Do you remember getting a lunchpail from somebody? And do you still have said Lunchpail? Because they got a very nice thank you note back.

Yes, that I absolutely do remember. I'm sure my wife was the one that sent that thank you note.

I yeah, I said the handwriting was too. I said the handwriting was too good for it to be a franchise quarterback. Feminine.

Yeah, but I definitely appreciate that. I remember that, you know, the whole wedding registry, the fact that fans would do that is just awesome. And it says a lot about, you know, the NFL and fans like yourself who who do fun, things like that. So, yeah, we got some great gifts and we still have a lot of them.

Do you mean that, though, like, was it really awesome or was there a part of you that's like this is kind of strange that I'm just having boxes show up from strangers that just know me from watching me play on TV?

Well, it's strange, but I'm totally OK with it. And honestly, it's an honor to get something as a gift from somebody I've never met. So I appreciate your chance.

Yeah, I don't like this. You're too nice. You know, he's doing this to us. He's doing this to us on this. I don't like pay us to do it because.

Yeah. Doing it. Do you have a photographic memory? Not that I know of, I don't know how to test it, but, well, let's go viral. Week 12, last play before the touchdown to Chad Beebe. What was the coverage? This is going to be crazy because Kirk has a big 12.

So the last play before the touchdown, it was a five man rush. We got man coverage, right? Yeah.

Yeah. What about the touchdown play? Walk us through that touchdown play was, I believe, forty four man coverage and safety came downhill. I mean the game was pretty recent. So you guys are giving me layups. This is, that was incredible dude.

All right. All right. Here's one twenty eleven, four seconds left against Wisconsin. There's actually no question here.

He clearly didn't go across the line and you know that.

You know, I appreciate your biased fan approach, but I'll never forget when ESPN literally drew a red line vertically from the end zone up and the ball had crossed. No. So that was Brett.

Nope. Nope. Well, guess what, ball. Don't lie. The Big Ten championship game, which that had to be, even though you lost to Russell Wilson, that had to be a fun game to play. That was one of the best like college football games back and forth, just craziness. Did you like when you're in those games, do you do you feel it? Do you have a moment where you step back? You're like, fuck, this game is awesome.

Just like you said, it was a great game to great teams, great players all over the field. And it was the inaugural Big Ten championship game.

So to kind of kick off the first ever Big Ten championship game, the way that we did it was at Lucas Oil with a Super Bowl was going to be later that year. It was a game I remember the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I was also one of the most heartbreaking losses of my career, being that we had dreamed of going to the Rose Bowl and we were, you know, matter of yards away from going. But we obviously lost to a great, great team, great players.

And like you said, I guess Ball don't lie. They won the game and went on to the Rose Bowl.

I think you do have a photographic memory. How about how about this one? December 26, 2015, it was the Redskins and the Eagles. There's six seconds left in the second quarter. And, yeah, you're on the you're on the six yard line. What's the play call there?

Well, it's a fascinating question at Off-Air I could maybe talk to you about for a little bit as a Washington fan. But part of the problem was we didn't have a play call.

OK, yeah, you do. For Atlanta led to a lot of confusion and not my best moment as a player. Thankfully, the second half, we took care of business and won the game and they kind of disappeared into football history. But that was an all time, you know, not a good play on my part. This is crazier than either.

Yeah, you remember everything. I just pulled that one randomly. I'm surprised that you remembered it so quickly.

All right. I had one last question. The final questions brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage, America's crazy good mortgage company. Go to Scotlands dot com slash take to learn more about your future home buying experience or refinancing needs equal housing opportunity. So everyone go check out, like I said, cinnamon snaps. Kirk Cousins, serial. You can get it. Hi, grocery stores, Ghost.

Kirk Cousins Foundation. This one I don't understand. Rob Parker. And when you were in college, just decided to create a rumor that you beat up the Michigan State hockey team and then you came out. You're like, no, I was at church with my dad.

Why didn't you just say, yeah, I did. I fucked him up. Like I beat up the entire Michigan State hockey team.

Oh, what's the why? Obviously, I was probably at a mega church that day and wasn't able to make it to the hockey house for the party anyway. But I think I think what happened was one of the people involved in the fight was a part time quarterback on the team. It wasn't a starter. And so I'm sure through rumors, they just assumed it must have been the backup. That's Kurt. It was Kurt. But it was funny because my teammates thought it was so funny.

I mean, you guys are already getting to know me, like, probably not probably not going to be Kurt. That's probably not the best guess if you're guessing football players in the team. And so my teammates would go to class and, you know, a sophomore in college girl would look at them and say, I can't believe can't beat that guy up. Yeah. And started laughing like, you've got to be kidding me. And at one point, they were going to sell T-shirts on campus.

That said Kirk Cousins are I party with Kirk Cousins on the back. I was going to say late nights and hockey fights. Oh, love. Good.

Yeah, I mean, Rob Parker just totally made it up. So that's what the score does. I would let that just be like, yeah, that sounds vaguely familiar, Rob. Well, eat up the entire Michigan State hockey, if you remember that.

That was the same roster, had Brian Hoyer, Nick Foles on it. So I guess it was probably Brian Hoyer. If we're looking at between those three guys, can you confirm that it wasn't either of those names either?

But, yeah, it's crazy how loaded our quarterback room was back then, Drew. Had just graduated, went on to a 13 plus year pro career, then Brian is in year 12 now. Nick has been a Super Bowl MVP and and so it was a loaded room.

And you guys must have won several national championships and Big Ten championships. That's a great roster.

I got one last thing that we can let you go. This is probably my favorite Kirk Cousins tweet of all time. You said, in my opinion, the best movies do three things.

Oh, boy, oh, boy. Tickle your funny bone tug on your heartstrings. Blow your mind. Agreed. Do you stand by that? Because I think that I think great movies also make you think. And what movie was that about?

So my favorite movies of all time are the Ocean series. OK, you know, I kind of like how there's some intrigue or some mystery, but it's really a comedy. Mm hmm. And they probably don't talk on the heartstrings as much as they could to fit that criteria. But those are those are my favorite movies. And then, you know, I just think any time a movie kind of leaves you, you know, laughing and crying and kind of makes you think, too.

I mean, I don't how you beat that. So that's my criteria. And I'm sticking with that. Probably could have worn it in a little better than I did in that tweet.

Oh, you're going to be you're going to be you. Because this is actually I'm going to give you a ton of credit here. This is probably the most like loaded rapid-fire questions we've ever had for someone we've interviewed because we have so much Kirk Cousins history.

And you said you have given you so much and so much over so many years.

I mean, I'll say the quote again, if I can't make Kirk Cousins, I also want to die. So, yeah, you have.

You have you've given us a great service and we thank you for that. Yeah.

Really do it any time. Any time. I can be your doormat. I'm happy to do it. I'm an easy target and I don't do that.

I hate you that you're making me not hate you don't do that. This is the worst way that this interview could have gone. I like when we interviewed your brother. Yeah.

I would have rather you come on here and you just call me an asshole. You cut me off early and you're like, I'll go sell my cereal somewhere else. I don't need you clowns. Yeah, but instead now I kind of like you, which sucks. Yeah. We'll send an invoice though when we when we start bashing you again and then you can tell us to cut it out for month. Remember that if that happens, you guys now work for me.

So to million when true we're.

All right. That's fine with that. Thank you so much man. Really appreciate it. Good luck with the cereal Kirk Cousins Foundation and good luck with the rest of the season.

Man. Thanks, guys. Blessings to you. Have a great Christmas. Thank you, man.

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All right, let's wrap up. We got to embrace debate and guys on chicks. What was your embrace debate.

This is a hot one in the streets. You probably heard people talking about already big cat. But as we know, the Olympics are always in the process of figuring out whether or not to add new sports, what those new sports are going to be.

Well, one of the ones that's on the docket for the Paris Olympics is parkour camp parkour, the ancient art of trespassing, where you just kind of jump off things in the street.

Now, it's not so simple to just make the debate. Is parkour an Olympic sport because the parkour society is actually protesting it and asking the IOC not to allow parkour into the Olympics? Why, you might ask? Because there has been a hostile takeover of the sport from the International Gymnastics Federation.

So gymnastics is trying to make parkour a gymnastics sport in the Olympics gymnastics event, whereas traditional Trad. pakoras are trying to keep it more of like a street sport. Got it. So what's the debate? So embrace debate.

Should parkour be in a sport but that the the tag should be.

Tag like JJ Watch Tag, yeah, the Parker tag are part quartette, what's the difference between Parker tag and tag? I don't know like they have you ever watch those videos? Were there in like a box and there's a bunch of like rails and different things that can jump on and it's like a confined area and they just run around. It's like lava. You're talking about the flow. It's part it's basically parkour, but with an element of tag.

That's an Olympic sport. It sounds like a double decker because parkour I don't give a fuck.

I don't care about other sports where there's stupid judges telling you I want a sport where if you tell the guy you're there, you go where there's a winner and there's a loser.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I think I think it'd be hilarious to see parkour in the Olympics, though, just to get like the parkour athletes thinking that they're on the same level as like Olympic sprinters. Right.

World chase tag. This is it. OK, it's fucking sick. Yeah, that looks awesome. Yeah. It's basically parkour. They're just running around chasing each other in a box. That should be an Olympics.

Can you imagine a guy like having the national anthem played for for himself after winning first place in parkour? Yeah, it sounds so shitty.

This this sport, this tag sport is ten times the sport of handball. Ten times. What's the sport that's that's kind of like a combination of tag. But also you have to go across the other team's line and then make it back.

Red Rover. No flag. No, it's fuck. What is that called. Capture flag. You have to like get steal the bacon. Yeah, steal the bacon. That's what I'm thinking.

A steal bacon would be actually electric. What about hide the salami. Hide the salami would also be actually you know what.

That's just fucking back. Don't play gaga. Fucking should be in the Olympics soaking.

What. Gaga. Gaga. No it's fun. It's like dodgeball. You hit your hand if it's you're like you're out in your little in a little square.

Hmm. It's a sleep away camp game.

I think that fucking should be an Olympic sport. Prove me wrong. What what nationality do you think would have the best fuckers for France. Yeah, I don't know. Athletic sex. I don't know the answer to that question.

I think you get I think you got to go France or Italy.

Now that's I feel like like one of the Brazil old school USSR countries too. There is an old Trojan Maneer some Yugoslavia.

There's an old Trojan. There's like an old Trojan ad campaign. Where was that concept? Sex Olympics. Oh, really? Yeah. When you're like in middle school and you're like Googling stuff on YouTube, can you try to see boobs? That's what comes up. How do you get something on YouTube?

That's OK. It's early. It was fine. You're doing a great job. I actually think. I think we figured out the podium. I think it's Brazil and gold and then probably Italy silver and then France bronze. So much here in France.

Hank guys on ChiX. Some guys, especially dog dad of the century, pfft, he said, I need a lot of help on this one because I haven't looked at my boyfriend or our dog the same since hearing this. Oh, my boyfriend and his friends love to reminisce on their glory days in high school. This is a typical occurrence, which are just them saying that go, do you want if it wasn't for that one injury, etc.. I can probably relate while we're smoking, Billy can relate and eating a plethora of snacks.

My boyfriend's best friend brought up their first time smoking. To our surprise, he tells us how my boyfriend got so high he spread peanut butter on his balls and had his dog drop them off.

My boyfriend didn't deny it and actually found it enjoyable. Oh, I know this because I have done the same thing as the dog did to him.

Oh, I did five. She loves Peanut. How would you suggest I move forward with being somewhat Eskimo's sisters with my boyfriend's dog?

That sounds this whole thing sounds made up to me. Billy, do you ever rescue the dog? Just get the dog out of it. Both Yeah.

All the ASPCA. What? It could be like a Thelma and Louise situation. You just drive over and pick the dog up and you guys just leave town together.

I'd like to opt out of this conversation.

That's gross. All right. Well, here's one maybe that's really comfortable with. Here's one that's more up your alley. The cat sup, big cat, pout and honk. What are the rules for hooking up with the dude with man boobs? Oh, sock, you guys like nipple play.

But I feel like if you do that to someone. No, yes. They might get embarrassed. Don't hang up and listen. Thanks. Don't are they. I was thinking about it.

How funny would be if I got, if I got breast reduction. I mean Corindi over.

I don't think of you. I think the less funny funny funnier would be like to be like I need surgery.

That's like me saying like how funny guys do you think it would be if I got like shin implants and went up to six to be pretty hilarious?

I think it's funnier. You're shabbier. You're but you're I don't mind my breasts. I have no problem with them. You have a problem with your shortness? No, I have a problem.

I sounds like you from thinking about cutting much research. No joke. Yeah.

Just like a mastectomy would be fucking if I got my tits cut off just like that. Not be funny like me wearing the shoes as a joke to right. Where are they today. I don't, I don't wear them every day.

Why should I wear it every day is the first thing you have confidence in myself. Let me see those shoes of those special. These are running shoes. Let me see you. The running shoes go ok. Yeah. Next, hi, guys, on Chicks question, so my boyfriend and I were having sex and he started sucking on my ear when somehow he ended up swallowing one of my earrings, my favorite pair that my mom gave to me.

I actually believe this. Is it wrong that I'm considering wear it after, you know, shits. Oh, no.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Clean it up.

I don't think it is going to like I don't think it's going to come out solo, like you're going to have to like mine it out of the shit, correct.

Yeah. Yes. You'll have to get a metal detector. Well he's got to do that. He's got to start shitting on a paper plate and going to work on it. Oh I'm not.

It's his fault.

I'm kind of curious, like the makeup of this. Does he have teeth?

How was he able to, like, accidentally suck out an earring?

I would imagine he was probably drunk. I feel like you could do that if you're drunk enough. Yeah. Just kind of forget that you're sucking on an ear and then it's boom earring.

Hey, check under your bed. Here's here's a callback and it's a compliment to Billy. Hello, Patti. I formally wrote in asking how to track people like Big Cat and not like Billy. However, I realize I may be biased because Billy's younger than me. And after reading his blog today about boxing, Jake Paul, that was hilariously ridiculous. I want to let him know he's a catch.

You guys are gaslighting me. Don't worry, but you are guilty. I you are, I think, enough to make up guys on chicks.

I have it right here. It is real, Jake. I exercise on chicks, Billy.

It's fine. Billy. Billy, I must say two things. One, I love you. You know that. Two other people love you. Thank you.

I don't know who put someone else out there has to love you. Notice Hank and Patsy aren't speaking up. I can't speak for all.

You get the next question. You know what, Billy? I think you know what?

You get the next question. Why are we dwelling on this? You're a great friend. You're going to make somebody else so happy someday. You're a nice guy. You're going to be a really nice guy. You're just going to make you're going to be a great friend to someone else via the road.

Trace McSorley. Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus, Billy, you're trying to make fetch happen. Hey, you guys, you should figure. Hey, Patty, I met this guy that I'm currently talking to around three and a half years ago at work. We became pretty good friends and I started liking him right away. But he had a girlfriend, so we never went anywhere. We're both now recently single, but I think his breakup was a lot more recent than mine and they dated for about three years.

It doesn't feel like a rebound. We've been getting really close and I'm really starting to like him. How do I know if this is a rebound or if it could be something more? How soon is too soon to start getting serious with someone?

I think you don't know that it's a rebound until afterwards. Yeah, that's a good point. In the middle of a rebound, it just feels cool. Yeah, I agree with that.

That's a good take. You you can't be like, oh, this feels because even if it on the surface a rebound, a rebound could end up being something bigger.

So it's really got to it's got to almost go through the outlet pass. Well it needs to go through like you need to have that happen. And and then you look back and you're like, shit, I was a rebound. Yeah. So a rebound could always be just a putback dunk until you hit the ground. Correct. So you haven't hit the ground just yet.

So it's impossible know how to score it. I also think that anybody that goes into relationship right after getting out of one saying like this is going to be my rebound. That's just somebody that's trying too hard to have a rebound. Rice not even going to end up being a rebound.

Yeah, like, yo, bro, this is just a rebound. Don't worry about it. Yeah, don't worry.

I'm just going to hit it and quit it. Yeah. All right. Last one, little bit of a sentimental one. Hey, Busters, boys, any advice for getting a tattoo? I won't regret my brother. Twenty five recently passed away and I want to pay tribute to him, but I know he would hate the idea of a cliche. My brother's dead tattoo peace. Y'all are awesome. Especially Billy and Patty brighten my brother's life. He got me hooked a few years ago and it brightens my to rest easy Kyle and go Red Sox.

Wow. That's I mean that's kind of a serious question. Yeah, it is. I'm sorry to hear about your brother. First of all, that sucks. One thing that I've seen done that is not bad is if you, like, have something that's handwritten from him and you want to take a word that he wrote and then get that word in his handwriting like a love or something like that on your body, I think that that's a pretty cool thing to do sometimes.

In all seriousness, I saw that in this kind of in the same vein, if you brother ever drew a picture of you when he was a little kid and it was like a really bad picture and he wrote his name on it, that tattoo. Yeah.

I also think when you're getting a tattoo for a family member that, like, you're never going to regret that. It's always. Yeah, it's not like a dumb like. Oh, you know, Larry, I do regret that. Oh, do I regret the placement of it.

I actually oh first I regret the size of it. It's sorry for your loss also.

I'll just say it for the rest of us. Can you just if your brother's phone is still active, can you just make sure he's downloading the episode still?

What? No, it's a good point, I mean, he would have wanted that. Yeah, right. Like, that's kind of a nice thing that goes for everybody out there that dealt with somebody. Just make sure that it's auto download every now and then. You might have to go in and just be like, do you want to keep downloading? Yes.

Even if they were like a Bill Simmons fan after they die, steal their phone and then unsubscribe from him. Subscribe to us. Yes.

And two, I've been thinking about getting a tattoo. I really want one. I don't know what to do. I think I'm too old. No, you're not too old. You're too old. Yet. One thing I would caution with what Billy said, though, if you do end up getting like a picture that he drew when when he was like six years old, be prepared for a lot of awkward conversations, be like, what the hell is that?

And then you having to be like, my dead brother drew it and then them being like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

You got a mustache tattoo ooze that way when you shave it. No surprise that my first task will be a face to dive right in. No, I just I think I'm too old, but I do want I want a couple of tats.

What about you? What about the dolphin?

On the small of your back are angel wings, a tramp stamp that would be sick the if your brother had a sense of humor, would she listen to the show? So I'm sure assume he did. You should just get a skull emoji and then your brother's name. That would be cool to me because like that's not lame.

It's not cliche.

People like, what's this skull emoji for my brother?

He's dead thoughts. And then then you can be like, thanks for asking, asshole.

That's a like you basically have eliminated small talk for the rest of your life.

That's a that's a beautiful thing. So. All right. We got the song.

We got the song Wednesday Afternoon Football Hell CMT song featuring Frank the Tank. The Tank Coach Dogs. Yes.

All right, let's do a number and then we will play the song. Great song.

Eight going eight. Eighteen sixty nine.

I'll go forty three. Thirty nine million. Thirty three. WIP tail lizards are all girls and reproduce without dude. Sixty four nice no dudes 64 64.

We're never going to get it first time. How is this possible. How are you guys taking 69. Can someone do the math. Jake makes some sense. We should have hit by the six percent chance in here.

This is one percent each level but that doesn't feel the right. Why does that feel right? I don't know. Oh, Wednesday afternoon, Thanksgiving night wasn't a fight.

Everybody got to go to bed. It was quite a sight. It was a no go. Everyone at COPO Tuesday, we're in slo mo. Now it's time for the show. AFC North. There's no love lost when she gets to get a record book and talk. Antoine. It's Wednesday afternoon. Yeah, you know what that means. Tell your boss to shove it down the street today. Half day. What a day for football. I'm de de de de de for football with the afternoon book for the night.

The lights of the tree get lit. We had it moved a football game show. It could be that's why we're kicking off that for rape investigation on by TV. Oh, be much better. Ready are. Others got shot by Josh.