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Part of my take isn't about Marshall sports.

Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, October 27, and the Bills are back, sort of.

Yeah, the first half Bills were back, sort of. So it's tough to say because the first half Bills were definitely back. And their defense played really well to the point where their offense didn't need to take the top off in the second half. Their main tarps on.

Unlike Fitzgering.

Unlike Fitz there.

Or us.

Or us. But it seemed like they were back. This win felt a lot better than their last couple games. You can say that if you're a Bills fan. Probably some things that you'd like to do different in the second half on offense, but you didn't need to. And the fact is, the Bucks only got close because that last drive, they got extended like, three times on fourth.

Bucks, the Bucks, if you look at that box score, you're like, OOH, the Bucks were in this game. They were not they covered the spread, which was a tragedy. Also shout out the Bills punter. What a night from him.

Beast.

I mean, that last one, he almost put on the 1 YD line.

He should have put it on the one.

Yeah. So not the best game.

Yeah, it was football.

It was football. It was football.

And it was nice to see Josh running around out there. It was good to see him.

So he hurt his shoulder. Hurt his right shoulder. And then they reported that he was giving low fives, not high fives. Yeah. Which is a very medical that's a medical term.

It is, yeah. It was supinated, not pronated at the end of it, which my medical degree tells me. He just fucked up his shoulder a little bit.

He's got a mini by now.

Yeah, mini by.

Mini by, yeah. The Bills, they look like they maybe fixed a little bit of what was ailing them. It did help that Vita Vea was out.

You know what they did? They stopped the bleeding.

They stopped the bleeding. Yeah. They got a win. Maybe this is what the Bills are. Maybe the Bills are just going to end up being like a eleven win team and they'll look hank, were you making a noise at that? I heard it. Maybe the Bills are going to be an eleven win team and they'll have at least two more times this season where they look like the worst team in football. Yeah.

I think the Bills right now are they're above average? They're above average team, but I don't think that they're the world beaters. How quickly do you recover from a torn ACL if you're trudeauous White? He needs to get on that Aaron Rodgers shit.

Is Matt Milano no chance of coming back?

I don't think he broke his leg, so maybe, I don't know.

It's better than a sprain. You know what better than a sprain?

A sprained leg is the worst the.

Worst thing you could get.

I'm going to say Matt Milano will be back for the playoffs and I've done zero research into it.

Okay. And yeah, the Bills have the Bengals next, which will be a great game at Sunday Night Football next week.

That'll be good.

That'll be a great game. As for the Bucks, they stink.

Yeah. They have no real running game to speak of, their defense. Minus vita vea. Also bad. Just bad. Baker Mayfield looks better than most thought he would this year. That's the best thing. Also, I have no idea what Tod Bowles is doing as a head coach.

Well, zero idea.

He's playing a chess match against Tod Bowles as a coach. The fake field goal or field goal or just run out the clock play they did at the end of the half was insane. You had the holder telling the kicker, no, no, we're not going to run this play. So that tells me either the kicker went out there and was like, fuck it. I know we're supposed to just run the clock out, but I can make this. And the holder was telling him no, or it was a look to see if they were going to fake it. And the kicker really wanted to fake it. And the holder was like, no, we're not snapping this ball.

I thought my Amazon stream was glitching because it was like a perfect loop of crowd noise, and everyone was standing still like, what's going on here?

It was a very weird end to the first half. Just tod Bowles continues to amaze me as a head coach.

He doesn't amaze me at all. He's just not good.

No, that's how he amazes me.

Tod Bowles, he's boring and not good, which is the worst combination.

But he does find creative ways to be bad. Whatever that was at the end of the yeah. Was a very creative way to be bad. And the craziest thing about this game is that the Bucks could have easily won on the last play, which is crazy credit to Baker Mayfield. He threw a perfect Hail Mary that.

Might really did you know what?

I think that is the number one incompletion of the season so far. That was a great Hail Mary that he threw.

That was an insane Hail Mary.

Godwin didn't turn around. Bucks fans are saying Mike Evans had illegal contact at the ten yard line. Yeah, they're never going to call that.

Would Al Michaels make any mistakes tonight? He did have a slight one when he was like, and it looks like the Bucks are going to punt. But he was actually retroactively correct because they came out in the field goal formation and then, like we described, took the delay game and punted. But he said, Looks like they're going to punt. And Kirk Herbscher is like, I think that might be a field goal, Al.

Yeah. I mean, Al probably really enjoys going to Buffalo because there's zero chance that somebody sneaks a vegetable on his plate.

Yeah, that's true. Absolutely. They don't allow those in the city walls.

Celery yes.

So get this off my garnish.

Jake, did you hear any Al Michaels mistakes tonight?

I didn't hear any mistakes, no.

He does seem bored with bad football, though.

I was going to say the energy definitely wasn't out with the Al Michaels I'm used to growing up.

All right, I'm going to look up real quick. I'm going to look up Al Michaels on Twitter and just play the first video. Here it is.

Under pressure. Look out.

Avoids a sack, takes off, turns a big loss into a nice game. Got away that time from yeah, there's no energy.

Well, that seems like a very, like, Matt play.

It was Baker Mayfield only almost getting sacked three times and then getting a twelve yard run. Okay.

Twelve yard run in the fourth quarter.

Yard run or no, third quarter. But I mean, still, I would say.

We'Ve had this debate on the stream. Is that a nice little chunk that he got? I would say that's like, okay, that's an exciting play.

Hail Mary to end the game. All right, let's listen to it. We're going to give an honest assessment. Mayfield dancing all around, throwing as far as he can throw it. Jump ball coming. Crazy stuff. Not this time.

Crazy stuff. Not this time.

Crazy stuff.

Not going to speak.

Not this time.

I don't think you can say crazy stuff in a more boring voice.

Also, what does not this time mean?

As in it didn't happen this time. Right. Compared to other times it's happened? Not this time. I love Al Michaels. He is part of many memories. But if last week I tried to defend him, this week I think I'm going to say let's just maybe hope we can shoot him up with some testosterone and have one last ride. Here some coke. Yeah.

You know, Street, Herb Street is a great friend to Lee Corso on game day, right.

To old people.

He loves Lee Corso. They seem to have a genuinely touching relationship.

Correct.

He needs to take that same energy to Al Michaels and bring cocaine into the booth to get Al going during games for America.

Kirk okay, well, so take that private.

Jet on one of those Thursday flights you take down to Columbia and then come back real quick to see Al drop a bag on his desk and let America have fun.

It's just I love Al, and I don't want to see him go out this think what I mean?

He's a legend. And I'd be surprised if he got back on the playoff game. The NBC second playoff game.

Remember he did the oh, Chico.

No. NBC had two wild card playoff games and they put Al Michaels with Tony Dungey for the Chargers.

Jags, we can't have that game. We got to get Jack Collinsworth out there.

Or Jason Garrett.

Yeah.

Somebody with some energy. It would be bad for this nation if it was Al Michaels and Tony Dungey calling a playoff game.

Well, it happened last year.

Can he, like Jonathan Henderson, just get slapped in the face before the game and just be like, whoa, let's go old school Al.

That'd be nice. It'd be an improvement.

Do you think it's a situation where no one just wants to say, hey, because he is a legend. He's a legend.

It's that no one wants to be the guy that has that conversation. And honestly, I think that if it's good football, al Michaels can still get the job done.

And they paid him so much money.

Not this time.

You know what? I'm actually going to defend Al Michaels. I am, too, as a football fan.

He's the goat.

We owe it to Al to just suck it up and let Al continue. Think of all the joy that he's brought us over the years, I'm going to suck it up. I'm going to acknowledge that maybe he doesn't have the right energy, that he turns exciting plays into downers sometimes. But as a football fan, this is what I've trained for. I will absorb all of Al Michael's negative energy, and I will not complain about it.

Here, I'll one up you PFT. Thursday Night Football, we always get excited for it because it is football. It's Thursday night. It's kind of the start of the weekend. Kick off the weekend, Hank. Don't say anything. It usually is a bad game. Maybe Al Michaels is the perfect guy for Thursday Night Football. Yeah. Because you don't want to peak too early. No. You want to kind of ease your way into the weekend.

Yeah, no, that's a good spend zone. Yeah, I like that, but that's perfect. I think we should just all agree to just take this shit.

I'm going to take it. Yeah, I'm going to take it.

NFL fans, they're just turning their backs on him.

No, they're not turning so many great memories with him. Oh.

Malcolm Butler. Interception. Now we hate this.

No, they're not turning their backs. Why would you use a Patriots?

They're just saying because it's one of the more iconic plays and calls by him an NBC game.

No, that was a compliment. I don't think anyone's turning their back on him. I think it's just simply they're pointing out the fact that it might be time.

There are some people that are clowning him.

What have you done for me lately, Lee?

That's facts, Hank.

I'm not going to clown Al. It's like Al Michaels and Bill Belichick kind of at the same stage in their careers right now.

Well, Bill Belichick signed a three year.

Deal and Bill Belichick's coming off a win.

Yeah, I mean, Al Michaels signed a.

Massive contract with Amazon unrelated to any of this. Get excited because Bears play the Panthers in two weeks on Thursday Night Football.

Can't wait.

Al might just snore.

I love the TNF on prime jingle.

I don't like how you say TNF.

Yeah, Jake, I noticed how you remember that Patriots Seahawks game? Was an NBC game.

Yeah.

Do you remember what all Super Bowls like, the network they were broadcast on.

The last, like, ten to twelve.

Okay. Rams Patriots, CBS Broncos Panthers.

Fox.

Who was on it? Who was on it?

It's been the same cruise.

Steelers, Cardinals.

I think that was NBC.

This is disgusting.

Who was on it?

Jake has.

I would guess Alan Chris, but maybe not wrong.

Madden.

Yeah, I think it was Madden's last whole game.

Yeah, but I know the 28 three.

Was Fox, Seahawks, Broncos.

That was fox. I think you just said that.

Did I?

Yeah.

No.

I said panthers, broncos.

Oh, panthers, broncos. The CBS Super Bowl 50. That was the year that they had the gold 50 at every 50 yard line.

Duh.

I think ESPN is in the mix in 2027. I think they entered the cycle okay. But yeah, I didn't realize I could do that until now. Pretty sick.

Wait, what was seahawks? Broncos? Seahawks?

Broncos. Was Fox.

Okay. I don't know what to do with this information.

He just knows all of them.

Yeah. I don't know what to do.

Jake is a massive fan of networks. Huge. We got to get you a jacket like the network one with all the NFL logos.

Jake loves booths.

Yeah, you do. He loves booths and trucks.

My new office power rank them.

Jake, booths, trucks.

How is your booth compared to, like, NBC's booth?

It's great. Don't have a cough button. The only thing that I don't have.

We got improvements.

Yeah.

We can always get I would say PFT. Nothing in the booth can happen without the truck. But the truck comes first.

But would the truck ever be there without what's that? Would the truck ever show up if there wasn't a booth?

You could technically broadcast a game with no broadcasters.

What? Oh, that's true.

I'm pretty sure WWE didn't jerry The King Lawler have, like, a health scare. They just went silent the rest of the broadcast out of respect for him.

They did that, I think, unintentionally at some NFL game in the last ten years where there was, like, a quarter with no announcers.

Yeah.

Where, like, the second and the announcers got very scared because they realized how much ass football still kicks without their voice.

Yeah, we don't need no, no, we.

Shouldn'T go back to that.

We shouldn't go back.

No. Get rid of their jobs. Okay, let's get into the week eight picks and preview, and then we have Kyle Long in studio and finish up with Firefest. Okay, let's get to picks and preview. And it's brought to you by our friends at Uber Eats. It's football season, and you can now get almost anything you need for game day delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a win in game seven for Max's teams delivered. That is literally in the ad. Damn. But you can get wings delivered. A strong defense, that's a no. But strong deodorant, that's a yes. Pet supplies for Blake and Stella? Yes. A six pack of ABS hank, definitely no. But a six pack of beer Uber Eats can get you that. There you have it. Get almost anything for game day deliver with Uber Eats official on demand food delivery partner, the NFL. Order now alcohol in select markets and 21 plus to order. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Get almost anything with Uber eats. Okay, boys, week eight no by weeks. So much football.

It's very weird that there's no bye week this week, right?

I kind of like it just because this is almost it would be impossible for the witching hour not to be electric this week with eight no, seven.

Games seven games every year that I've played fantasy football, which, by the way, I gave up on my fantasy teams in record time this year. It's so liberating. I think it was week five. I looked at all three of my rosters and I was like, no, just.

Not going to do it.

Just not going to do anymore. I already stink and now I don't care about it. I get the notifications, I ignore them. That might make me the asshole in the fantasy league, but it's so nice.

To not have to worry about it. I agree with you. And I actually had an idea the other day because I have two fantasy leagues with people I've been friends with for a very long time. There needs to be a service, like a divorce attorney where I don't have to tell them I'm going to stop playing fantasy, but some third party can intervene and be like, listen, he's dead, so he's not playing fantasy anymore, or like, some excuse. So it's the awkward. The only thing that's keeping me in there is like, these are my friends and I understand friendship and all that stuff, but I do not care at all about fantasy. So much so that one of my friends texted me during week seven. He's like, I'm kicking your ass right now. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? And then I looked at my team. I had forgotten to start, like, half the team.

You know what it was for me? I'm in, like, a suicide eliminator pool. And I just forgot to do it one week. And when I forgot to do that, then I was I'm just I'm not going to open up the Yahoo app anymore. But now that you say it out loud, we can learn from ourselves. We can admit mistakes. We can grow. I think I'm going to have to at least try because I do feel like a bad friend right now.

No, I exactly.

I'm not doing it. So I'd like to immediately retract that. I fucked up. I took who did I take? They're not bad.

They're not. Ryan Gold, 265 pounds, 260 in high school.

They're not bad. Ameka okafor is not bad I can't offer everyone admitted my mistake. I'm going to fix it. I'm going to try to play, but I'm not going to have any fun doing it.

Who.

Ameka Okofor. And karam?

No, they were very good. Yeah. Not a dime back.

I'm going to survive before that consumes most of my brain.

We got to get one Calhoun back on the show.

We should.

When the reporter said to him, we have a report here that you make $2 million and the state is losing this, and he just goes, I make a hell of a lot more than that.

It's so great.

Not a dime back. It's so great, but not a dime.

To my original point, I feel like every year that I played fantasy football, I would always just ignore the by weeks and just not think about that. And it was always week eight. I always had players that were on bye weeks. Week eight, no buys, but no buys this week.

No buys. So let's get into it. We will be in the new gambling cave watching all the games. I think the idea is on Sunday night because the Bears play Sunday night. We're going to watch that in here while we do the podcast. So you get live reactions that way. But let's start with the best games. Noon slate, 01:00 slate. People get mad when I say noon. I think the best game is Jaguar. Steelers in the noon slate. Let's talk about Jaguar steelers. Jaguars about to go on their buy. Steelers off a big win. Mike Tomlin is a home dog. We keep hammering it 18 five and three against the spread. Maybe even an Alan Robinson revenge game.

I guess so.

He had a revenge game last week.

I guess so. All I know, the Jaguars are going for five straight right now, which is the Jags haven't had a lot of good winning streaks over the course of their franchise. This would be nice for them to get. They're spraying down footballs in Jacksonville. They're getting ready for the water. So they're having a guy with a hose out on the practice field. Urban Meyer had some hose out there, too. But this is different. They're spraying it down and then they're simulating the rain. The steelers. However, you mentioned Mike Tomlin. Easiest coach to bet on as the underdog. Feels like a hammer. Mike tomlin game. Also, this is maybe the biggest thing going to this game. It's a terrible towel statement game because Trevor Lawrence opened his mouth and referred to the terrible towel as those little yellow towels. Now he was saying it. He was like, giving them respect. And it got quoted. Pittsburgh took it personal. This is a personal game for the towel.

Double Renegade.

It might be a Double Renegade game, but he called out the towels.

The jaguars kind of own. The Steelers.

Well, we remember 2017.

Blake yeah. Went in there and put up like 44.

It was incredible.

So I lean Steelers here because of the Tomlin home dog. I also have a stat, George Pickens, really good receiver, starting to kind of blossom into he's one of our favorite receivers to watch. Deontay Johnson. Being back is huge for George Pickens. And I actually think maybe Matt Canada's offense won't be as bad when Deontay Johnson's on the field. This is a stat that I don't even know really what it means, but it sounds really impressive. So they have a stat, yards per route run. So essentially, just how many routes you're running and how many yards you got pretty easy to understand with Deontay Johnson on the field. George Pickens is averaging 4.0 yards per route run, which is actually like it would be the second in the NFL only behind Tyree kill without he's averaging 2.7. So George Pickens, Deontay Johnson matters for George Pickens. And we saw it in the second half against the Rams. Yeah.

That's interesting. I know that Tyreek Hill had that one stat where Kaderius Tony had the craziest one where every time they threw him the ball, the Chiefs lost a point. In week one.

Yeah, in week one.

But yeah, I would like to see those stats for our general lives. Just like per step per mile walked. How many desserts do I have?

What's the ratio on that farts per step walked? Yeah, also 1.2.

I agree with you. I think that it matters not just like Deontay. Deontay is obviously like a very good guy to have complimenting George Pickens, but just in general, having two good options to go to helps the other guy.

And they do complement each other well. And I think the Steelers are finally realizing that Jalen Warren is really fucking good. I also was watching some Jalen Warren highlights, and people are saying he might be one of the best running backs in terms of blitz, pickup and blocking. So Jalen Warren, give Jalen Warren the ball more, maybe make Najee Harris like a junior tight end.

I want to know what his war is. His wins above Najee. His wand. What's his wand? Because when he touches the ball, it's hard to believe that he is like NFL running back caliber speed. Yeah, he just looks like he's running through snow.

And for the Jaguars, like you said, going for five straight. Trevor Lawrence looks awesome. Their defense looks better than people thought it was going to be this year. Calvin Ridley, is he getting iced out? I don't know.

You think he's getting iced out?

That was weird that he got no targets on Thursday Night Football and he was open sometimes and Trevor Lawrence wasn't even looking at him. Do we have an ice out?

Maybe dog house alert.

That's more doghouse iced. Yeah. Yeah. Running back is a fumble. And then you get into dog house, you get in a guy's dog, but you can get iced out.

As a wide receiver, you can also, fun stat, if I were to just ask you off the top of your head, what do you think the Steelers record is in their last 15 games?

Pretty good.

They're eleven and four.

Yeah, because they finished the season like, remember the whole talk at the first part of the season was, is Mike Tommy going to go under 500? And they ended up nine and eight. Yes.

So the Steelers have been just good. They've been winning weird games. They've been winning them in strange ways, but they just win.

They figure out a way kenny Pickett might be Mr. Fourth Quarter.

I like that.

He is jake, your nerd nugget.

Good timing we got because Pittsburgh leads the NFL with three wins this season when trailing after the third quarter. The Steelers have also won 14 games since 2020, trailing after the third quarter. That's also most in the league.

Mr. Fourth quarter.

He's Mr. Fourth quarter. I like that. He's Mr. Fourth quarter. Also.

Mike tomlin met Glorilla this week. Yeah, I'm big fan. Huge Glorilla fan.

I know.

Hank, you're a big fan too, right?

Huge. Hank, you look very corporate today.

Thank you.

Is it the vest?

No, Hank looks he got off the golf course today.

I wish I would golfed. I did not. This is the perfect vest weather today.

It is. It is. Beautiful vest weather.

And there's not a lot of time for vest weather. Like, it's about to be cold. Vest weather is over.

No, but you go vest under the coat because then you go coat off. Vest in the office.

I saw my opportunity.

I took it. Yeah, that's it right there. You just grabbed it. Vest weather. Yeah. What is it? Luck is no, luck is what happens.

When opportunity meets preparation.

Preparation. He was prepared for vest weather.

I'm woefully under prepared for vest. I don't think I own a single vest.

I have two, and I never wear them. I'm done saw my opportunity, and I.

Had a vest phase. And then when the entire Wall Street accounting bros. Took over vests, I ditched it. But I might get back in a vest.

I might be a vest guy this winter.

It's fun. Especially puffy vests. I don't really like Hank's look right now. He looks like trash. But a puffy vest. Oh, sorry. I forgot you were there. A puffy vest looks nice.

I like the ones that have the ribs on them. You know what I'm saying? The seams that go down the side.

Yeah, the puffy vest.

Yeah, that's good. They make you look jacked up, too. Who looks great in a vest is Vrabel.

Rable is a big time best guy. Okay, next game up, Rams at Cowboys. I have a theory that I would like to throw out there. The rams stink.

I don't know if they stink.

Okay? That's my theory, and I'll explain my theory.

Were they ever good?

I think well, no, they were never good. But here's what happened.

The rams are mid. They're decidedly mid.

I think they might stink. And here's what happened. Every year, there's, like, one or two teams that have a great week one, and it sticks in our head for a while, maybe too long. The Rams beat the Seahawks week one. They were like, maybe six point underdogs, because, remember, going into the season, the Rams I think their over under for wins was five and a half or something like that. They were not supposed to be good. They beat the Seahawks. Everyone's like, oh, shit. They might be good. Depuca, look at this. They're good. Since then. Their two wins after the Seahawks week one win was against the Colts in. Overtime. Colts, not that good. They're frisky not that good. And the Cardinals, in week six, Cardinals think their losses are niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers. So the question I ask is, are the Cowboys closer to the niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers or the Colts Cardinals? I think it's the former, not the latter. Yeah.

I'm not saying that they stink, though. I'd say that they're probably going to lose this game. I'm going to bet on them to lose this game, especially because McVeigh's got he had the baby.

The baby.

He can't score a touchdown. A head coach can't score a touchdown. Matt Stafford does have a homecoming game, kind of right in Dallas.

People forget how in park you went.

To high school with Clayton Kershaw. So I don't think that the Rams stink, though. I think that they're perfectly mid team. The Cowboys are capable of playing perfectly mid teams very well.

It's just a working theory that they might stink, because it is.

Keep an eye on them.

You know how we do do that, where it's like week one bad or good. I mean, when the Cardinals killed the Titans, week one, whatever it was a few years ago, titans, I think, ended up being okay. It's just week one always has one of those weird things that you're like.

Oh, fuck, that was the Taylor Luan game, right?

Yeah. I didn't want to bring that.

Yeah, well, yeah, it's a very important part of I do think I think that the Rams are perfectly average. I think the Cowboys are an above average team. And I am a believer in the triplets, though. That's what we're calling Matt Stafford. Puka Nakua. Puka and Cooper cup.

Cooper cup. Cooper cup would be cool.

Cooper cup is a good puka and puka. That's an event in Mario Kart koopa and puka.

I like that. That sounds like that could also be like a Disney movie with a fat animal and a small animal like pomona and timba. What is that? Timon and pimp.

Timon and pumbaa.

Yeah. Yeah, you got it. Thanks. Hank Stack. Correct. You mentioned it.

Put this in tickler Nakua matata.

OOH, I like that. Yes. That will be on. Boomers. You mentioned that the Cowboys can absolutely beat a mid or bad team. DAC versus bad teams. He is 20 713 and two against the spread versus teams under 517 and 26 against the spread versus teams above 500. Yeah.

I also think that McCarthy looks at an opportunity to coach against McVeigh. Like, if I beat this guy, I'll finally get that respect. Yeah. So I do like the Cowboys this week and the Rams. I actually think that having a baby during a week for a coach is probably way more impactful than if a player has a baby during the week and they miss a yeah, like, I think that he's probably not getting a lot of sleep. He's not spending as much time just grinding film.

Good point. We'll see points. Jake, your nerd Nugget Cowboys rookie kicker.

Brandon Aubrey is one of six kickers in NFL history to begin a career with at least 16 straight field goal makes and is closing in on the NFL record.

There's the jinx straight.

He's 16 of 16 on field goals and twelve of 13 on extra points.

Can we bet on him to miss a kick? We should be able to because that was the jinxiest jinx of all credit to the Cowboys. Well, you said it out loud.

Yeah, but they wrote it down.

I don't think a written jinx in a media playbook versus a spoken jinx.

The percentage of announcer jinxes is probably so low because they say it every time.

You always remember them.

Jake, you're bringing stats into an equation that absolutely does not need we just need to go with our balls on this one. Anytime an announcer says that a kicker is good, right? He's the worst.

He's like, all announcers lives matter. This is bullshit.

Didn't the Rams had mar, right?

Yeah.

They had the former kicker of the Cowboys missed the revenge game that missed nine field goals or whatever, and they cut them this week. That's tough. I wanted to see a mar revenge game.

Yeah. Okay. Next up vikings at packers. I only have one stat for this game, and I have a feel the stat is how many touchdowns, rushing touchdowns the Vikings have this year. Zero is correct. That's pretty crazy. It is zero rushing touchdowns. My feel is I think the packers stink. I think Jordan love's not good. But the Vikings just beat the Niners on Monday Night Football in front of the world. They're going to play at Lambeau against a very stinky packers team. You have to bet the packers.

I don't know about that because the Vikings seem like they're kind of rolling into form right now.

Why would you say that?

Monday Night Football against a really good team that was kind of banged up and injured? Yeah, but I'm big cat. Come on. I saw Monday Night Football.

I did. Look. I was like, oh, my God. The Vikings are what, a one point favorite against the packers and Lambeau? Like, this is a hammer time on the Vikings. It's like, nope. Dan, you do this to yourself all the time. You watched one awesome game and you're like, the Vikings are awesome.

I have a hot tip.

Okay.

And by hot tip, I mean I was walking around the halls earlier and just heard someone in a room. I don't know who it was, and I didn't listen to the full conversation, but as I walked by, overheard someone saying 78% of the money is on the Vikings.

Yeah.

Don't know if that's true.

I believe it, but it's a hot tip.

It does sound like it would be true.

It's a hold your nose pick. The packers stink.

They do stink. And I think I'm going to ride with Creed, though, because before the last game so we talked about Kirk Cousins loving Creed, the Texas Rangers loving Creed. I didn't realize this at the time. Kirk Cousins has replaced the team prayer, which means a lot to Kirk Cousins with everybody listening to Creed in the locker room.

That's nice.

So for the last two games they've been on their Creed shit. I might wait to find out how much Scott Stapp is being played in that locker room before I make my but I am right now. I'm currently square as fuck, and I'm.

Going to ride with the I just it's a total feel because I really do think the packers are not good. But any given Sunday, jake packers quarterback.

Jordan Love leads the NFL in second half passing yards per game, is tied for number one in the league in second half passing touchdowns per game, and number two in the league in second half offensive touchdowns this season.

Yeah. Because they're behind second half. Mr. Second. Yeah. Yeah. When you play from behind mr. Second Half. Mr. Second Half. Okay. All right. Next up, next game up, patriots Dolphins.

All right.

Patriots. Tyree. Dolphins. Tyreek is going to play. Yeah. It was just announced. That was the weirdest thing ever when tua's like, hope we get Tyreek back soon, and everyone's just is.

It does feel like a get right game for Miami, doesn't it?

Okay. I agree. But I feel like and we talk about this with Kyle Long coming up. Great interview with him. I do think the Dolphins, if there is ever a look ahead, it is the Chiefs next week. And maybe it's not like look ahead. They come out flat, but maybe look ahead. We pack it in as quickly as we know this game is good and the back door is wide open.

It's also a super look ahead because that's a lot of travel they have to do.

Yeah, that's a lot of travel. Yeah. There's nothing worse than having, like, a really long trip ahead of.

You that's hanging over there.

That's what I'm at my lowest.

Do you think they've packed all their shit getting ready to go over to Germany?

Wait, do we know their plans?

We don't know yet. We got to find out.

We're only betting it on that because whoever goes later yes. Fade them.

That's what we've learned. Germany is a long ways away, but I feel like they probably already have their shit packed going to this game if they're leaving on Monday.

Yeah.

You don't have time know. Go home. That's a big suitcase you got to bring over there if you're going on do like, I like Miami in this game, and maybe it's just me reacting to the Patriots looking decent against the Bills Mac Jones and winning the Super Bowl.

Wait you hear this one. Congrats to Hank and Mac Jones for winning the week seven Super Bowl.

Oh, yeah. Congrats. I had heard that it was big.

You guys, you loved doing that to everyone. You needed the last 20 years.

You needed one big time.

The bill.

And it's the fucking Bills if we beat the Chiefs, that's Super Bowl.

You bet on the Bills last week.

You did? Yeah, I did.

I lost.

I'm doing bad in my picks.

No longer hungover, though.

No.

Okay.

Just a little foggy.

Yeah.

We got to have some debuts on Friday.

Yeah.

We got Halloween coming up. We're going to Madison. This is a week I'm giving myself till next, like, Tuesday.

Okay. To the get right spot. Yeah. That's your get right spot.

Tuesday back in the gym Tuesday.

Everyone tweet Hank next Tuesday. Be like, get right.

Welcome back.

Let's go.

Yes. You feel confident?

No.

Oh, okay.

What's the weather forecast? Do we know?

Hot.

It's going to be hot in Miami, I'm sure.

Yeah.

Two sidelines.

It's not the heat. It's the humidity.

That's true.

Yeah. They always say that. I don't know. Rain.

Rain. Oh, potential.

That would maybe probably help the Patriots. Help the pats. Yeah. Junk a little bit. Mac Jones is owing five against the spread in his career versus the Dolphins. Yeah.

We never beat Tua.

You've never beaten Tua? No.

Damn surprising.

That's tough.

I think that's a good sign, though, because, you know, Belichick is like, we got to beat Tua.

Yeah. Got to beat Tua.

So are you going to bet on moneyline?

Yes. Oh, wow. Have to. Okay.

I like we've talked about don't I don't feel good going into the game, but then before the game, I'm like, why won't we just win this are.

You really are a Tanking team. Welcome to the welcome that's exactly that's every single Bears game. Yeah.

This is a great opportunity to play spoiler.

It really is.

Yeah.

If we beat the Bills and Dolphins, I will have been you're bad. Accurate about.

And guess who's next?

And the jets, too.

And guess who's next?

Jets.

No commies. Oh, nice.

That'll be good. Good luck spoiling that one.

Jake. Your nerd nugget.

Well, first off, Tyree Kill, when he faced the media today regarding his hip, he said, I just wanted some attention, man, because my mom wouldn't talk to me, so I needed some attention from somebody.

Okay. Respect that.

Yeah, I get it.

Miami has had a player record multiple sacked in four straight games by four different players. Week four at Buffalo. Andrew Van Ginkle. Week five against the Giants. Zach sealer. Week six against the Panthers. Christian Wilkins. Week seven at Philadelphia, bradley Chubb, they're all eating.

You remember Bradley Chubb? Yeah. Last week we stopped talking about old Chubb for a while, didn't we?

Yeah, he's good.

He is good.

He's good.

So with Tyreek Hill, it's funny that's like a dog that pretends to have an injury. I had a dog that for about two years would only have a hip injury when it was at home with my parents, and then I took it to college a couple of times. It was able to walk everywhere, go up and down steps, go back home where there was another dog, be like, oh, no, my hip hurts. Come scratch me.

Yeah, that's what Tyreek Hill needs some attention. Yeah. Okay. So tyreek Hill's playing Next up eagles at Commanders. The little boy off.

Little boy was never that was never anything said by anybody, that game.

Oh, it was little. You small.

You little. Small is what was said.

Little, you small. Little you small.

Yeah, I think little boy was set off.

Yeah. Because you were saying big boy. Little boy.

I was saying we were doing big boy plays on you.

Yeah, that was a little boy play.

Correct.

There was definitely that thrown around. There's a lot of boys.

This is bigger than a little boy game. This is a perm game. Oh, yeah. Max and I agreed to bet a perm oh, beautiful. On this game.

God. About that.

So one of us is going to have to go to sport clips and get our hair permed up.

I love it.

So, Max, what are we going to do? Because you can't do it straight up, right? Because the Eagles are, what, six and a half point favorites?

Should we just do the mean? Max, that would suck for you. Like, if you win by three, you won the game and you got to get a perm.

Yeah, no, that's true.

I think you almost got him. What about three?

What about three even?

Deal.

Fine.

Okay.

That's a great negotiation.

He just 2 seconds. You should have just said and then should have just said straight up.

So Max is going to buy a car soon, and he's like, I suck at negotiating. Can somebody help me out? I told him I'd negotiate for him because I love doing I just I just ran circles around you.

That was so bad.

I'm not a negotiator.

Jesus Christ. How you how you doing, Max? Good.

This game's must win for the Eagles.

No, I meant in general. How are you doing?

It's fine.

It's fine. Okay, fine.

The episode popped off.

Popped off. I told Max, too. Max, I think with this last recent tragic loss and clips and everything collapse, I think Max has actually crossed the threshold and that if the Eagles win the Super Bowl, people would be legitimately happy for him.

I don't think so.

I do.

Well, right?

Some no, some not you, Hank. You fucking hate him right now.

You're right. If the Eagles won the Super Bowl tomorrow, people would be like, okay, good for Max. He deserves one. But you're forgetting that to get to a Super Bowl, they'll have to endure, like, three months of Max being obnoxious, and then they'll want so you need a team.

You need a team to just start the first game being yeah, that's a lie. You need a team to start their first game in the Super Bowl?

I guess.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I'm a different man. I'm a different man right now.

I think you've developed a big fan base of people that really enjoy seeing this content. So it's like that market now exists. Yeah, you created the market.

No, the sadness market is booming.

It's also a market that really dislikes it.

Yeah, but you know what? Those guys, that's jealousy and they also just completely over exaggerate everything. It's the guys who are like, max is on the show for 2 hours. It's crazy.

That's just anyone that's on the show that's not named big Cat or PFT market.

Correct.

Everyone's had their fair share of the ire there. And Max. Also, the fact that Philly keeps losing in these big moments is the reason why you're in these prominent positions on the show. So it's not like the entire show is just Max all the time. He can't help it. But his teams are losers, so we have to feature.

Yeah, you've been in big moments and Max, my brain kind of switched a couple of years ago when I realized people are going to complain about everything. And it's actually a compliment because it's what we do with our sports teams, where it's like, you root for your sports team and you're like, fire that guy. That guy sucks. That's no different than people who are like, I listen to every PMT. I fucking hate Max. Well, yeah, you're going to find something to complain about and it's okay. You can complain about everything. You can complain about go, go do. It means you care. We want people to yeah, fuck it. Has your mom said anything to you? My mom was good.

My dad thought it was really funny. My mom's also a huge Phillies fan. That's her number one team. She said that it was nice to hear how sad I was after the game because it made her feel better.

About so you're providing useful service to dejected Phillies fans.

I feel like your parents had to have loved the movie clips.

I love ridiculous right now.

I don't know anyone can watch that and find humor in them.

I haven't watched any last thing. Max, any word on people throwing out the idea that you might have early onset Fleming? Yeah, so people were saying this online that Max's hand motions, the fist, the.

Screaming when he was tinting his tinting.

His fingers, that was just like people are saying, Max like, hey, Max, are you looking in your closet and being like, oh, that's a good shirt. Want you on?

Yeah, that's that's really the biggest worry.

For me is you have early onset Fleming.

The biggest worry for me with early onset Fleming is I do like to.

Chew on water bottles, which is the.

Biggest red flag of anything.

Well, Frank is. We love Frank. Frank is the absolute best. So it wouldn't be the worst if you got full Bled. Full blown.

Maybe someday.

Someday. Okay. Yeah.

I got a question for you, Big Cat.

Yeah.

Do you think that the Eagles Commanders series? Is that becoming a throw out the record books? It might be series, because the Commanders are always way worse than the Eagles. Except going back to what was it? 2020?

Yes.

When Doug Peterson pulled all the starters in Week 17. They are always worse, but they always play them very tough. I feel like this is a throw.

Out the record book. I agree with you. I agree with you. I also think, oh, by the way, sack watch sam Howell, 40 sacks on pace for 97. He went the other direction.

It's insane how many sacks he's taking. David Carr, when he was in the league, it was nuts. His 1st, 76, people were like, Will somebody please step in and help him? Sam Howell is on pace to just dust dust him.

And it's not even the 17 game schedule, because he's on pace for 21 more sacks. Max, last question for you. Are you worried about Jalen hurts knee? No.

They said it's like a pain thing. He's just going to play through it. He's a warrior.

Pain thing. He's an absolute I think you should.

Be why does the human body experience pain, Max? Is it because everything's fine?

Yeah, he's fine.

He's fine.

Okay. Yeah, he's fine.

But I will say Kevin byard game.

Yeah.

Dream Team.

Yeah. Howie dream team.

Not Dream team. But you love having guys talking about guys.

Kevin Byrd is a guy. I think that Jalen Hurts knee is a problem.

He's wearing a brace on it.

And he also was asked about it, and they're like, Is it a concern? Would it affect you going forward? He said, I hope not.

Yeah, it's going to affect that was.

On Sunday and then the next no, that was his press conference. He said, I hope not.

Yeah, that was after the game on Sunday.

Oh, okay.

And then going forward, they're like, yes, it won't be an issue for that.

But the fact that we're even talking about it is kind of an issue.

Yeah, but some guys are built different.

He's a dog, okay.

He might be wearing it just in case the stadium collapses on him again.

Just to be just he's throwing a lot of picks, fumbles.

But the knee he doesn't look like himself. Can we admit that?

Max, the fact or fiction?

The pick in the last question was a tip. Answer the question.

Does Jalen Hurts look like himself?

I didn't like how in unison you.

Guys, that was beautiful.

It was great.

The last game, yes, I will say in the Dolphins game, yes, he looked like himself. I don't care what you say.

Yes.

I don't think he looks like himself.

He threw one pick that got tipped, and he played a flawless football game after that.

Who would you rather have fumble? Who would you rather have jalen Hurts this season or Jalen Hurts from last season?

Who was better in totality last season?

Okay, so he doesn't look like himself.

But it's a week by week league.

Okay.

On Sunday night, he looked really right.

I'm just listen, I'm grasping at straws here. I'm trying to find reasons to think that the Commanders can win this game, so I'll take whatever I can. Also, the Commanders have hired a nerd this week. We got a nerd. So it's Eugene Shen. He is now, like, the senior vice president of analytics. We didn't have a guy like that before that, so we got him. He was on the Jaguars for a while. He was on the Ravens. Then he went off to manage a trust fund or a hedge fund. Now he's I just it's a good hire. I think Josh Harris made a good hire. We needed a guy like that. But also I'm putting myself in Ron Rivera's shoes, who is not a heavy analytics guy, shall we say. He's not really a big anything guy. But now we hired a nerd. Rivera is probably not going to coach after the season's over. I don't know if he's going to be fired midseason, but he's definitely not coming back this year. So if you have a nerd in place right now telling Ron Rivera what to do with his team, how is Rivera going to react to that?

Is he going to be like, yeah, do whatever you want with my team, or is he going to actually take this guy's advice, put it into just I feel like giving a guy who's on his deathbed nerd to tell him how to fix things is just going to kill him faster.

Yes.

If you gave Jimmy Carter a social media manager right now, yeah, okay. This guy's going to run your Instagram account.

It's over.

He's like, okay, just pull the it's over.

Yeah, it's over. All right.

Nerd nugget eagles wide receiver AJ. Browns had an NFL record last week when he posted his fifth straight game with 125 plus receiving yards, joining Calvin Johnson in 2012 and Pat Studsill in 1966. He's also the third player in Eagles history to register five straight 100 plus yard receiving performances, joining to and Harold Jackson.

He's very good.

He's awesome.

He's very good.

Terry McLaurin's, NFC East lead might be Dwindling in trouble.

Yeah. Okay. Next game. Jets. Giants MetLife the MetLife bowl.

Jets going on the road.

Jets going on the road. Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones.

I think so. I think he is.

It's so crazy how much the Giants fuck that up. Like, you had Daniel Jones for four years, and he was, what, somewhere between the 15th and 20th best quarterback. Okay.

He played pretty good in spurts last year.

Well, no, so I'm saying the previous four years. Yeah. Last year he played good. Yeah. Why didn't the Giants say, hey, is this the outlier? Maybe we should franchise tag him.

They were just hoping that this is who he is.

Yeah, right. Like, hey, let's franchise tag him. See if he's that guy again instead of being no, that's that's him.

We only use the does he look at himself? If a player is playing worse than they did the year before with Daniel Jones last year, they should have been like, Daniel Jones. Is he really playing like himself right now? The answer would be no. But still, if you're in that position as a team, you think that this is just the brand new Daniel.

Yeah. It's like if I see myself, I see a good picture of myself, and I look skinny. I'm like, am I skinny now? No.

Fun stat. The Giants winning last week against the Commanders, that was their first home win since the boat picture.

Really?

No, I just made that up. I could believe anything that sounds like it would be. My favorite thing in terms of storylines going into this week is on WFAN.

Don Legka.

Was it Don LeGreca that was talking about Zach Wilson?

Oh, no. I was thinking Don LeGreca talking about Chris Russo, which was great. No, this is called him a weakling, which is an all time insult because.

Russo needs to retire, right?

Yeah, he does. He's a you're a weakling. Yeah.

That's a great insult.

It really is.

It's an insult that you only get on sports talk radio. You get bum, and you get fraud and weakling.

Weakling.

Those are the big three. But there was another guy I don't have his name in front of me, but he went in on Zach Wilson because Zach Wilson, during the bye week, went to Utah with his girlfriend.

He went apple picking.

Well, this guy was like, this guy's going apple picking. You're supposed to be the quarterback. You should be in the film room the entire week. You should be at the facility the entire week, studying in the meeting room by yourself. He's like any other position, you can leave but the quarterback. I don't want my quarterback traveling with his family during the by week. I want my quarterback to be an incel. That's what I want.

Also, Zach Wilson is definitely in the category of too much information. Could be dangerous for, like you don't want to just have him overloaded with ideas.

Well, the entire premise of the jets offense being good is just minimize the amount of time that Zach Wilson has with the ball in his hand.

Yeah. Figure out a way to get Garrett Wilson on slants that Zach Wilson can hit. Yeah.

Just play on defense more.

Yeah. Punt the ball on first. All right. Nerd Nugget.

The jets defense has an active streak of 24 straight games without allowing a 300 yard passer, the second longest in the NFL behind New Orleans.

Whoa. Okay, good. Segue. Saints and Colts next. Here's a fun fact. Do you know that we're in week eight? The Colts are the only team to score 20 points in every game this season?

I did not know.

20 points or more.

That is a very fun that's pretty fun. Also, the NFL apologized to Jim Ursay personally.

Yes, I saw that.

So Jim Ursay put out a tweet saying, like, just a heads up, the NFL has admitted to us that they screwed up the calls at the end of the game. So hang the banner, Colts fans. You guys should have won that game. We actually do think that you should.

Have won that game. Yes, you should have.

That was bullshit the way that it came down. So maybe Jim Ursay just hallucinated Roger Goodell coming end and apologizing to him. Yeah, that's probably just as likely. But yeah, the Colts, I mean, their offense is fun. They are fun. With Gardner Minshew, you're either going to get a crappy, weird, awful performance where he takes some shots and they don't pan out, or he could actually step in and win you a game.

I think Gardner Minshew I'm going to bet some Gardner Minshew props this week because the Saints do play a lot of man coverage, and that's usually what he does well. So I don't know if they to win this game, but I am going to bet some Gardner Minshew props and have some fun.

He does stink against the zone.

Yeah, he does.

He doesn't understand the concept.

He's just like, wait, I want to throw it there. What the fuck? He's probably like two guys there.

I think he sees his own defense and, like, if you're playing basketball against the zone and pickup, you're like these pussies. He probably sees his own defense. He's like, these guys are a bunch of pussies.

Yeah, they won't call me man on.

Man and tries to make crazy throws right. Because he's like, I'm a man. These guys are bitches.

And he's perfect for man coverage because he's like, fuck it. I'm going to throw it there. Yeah, give my guy a chance. I like that dennis Allen is so bad and so dumb. He's now into his coach speak where he's like, fuck everyone. You guys don't know what you're talking about. He said this week, you get in the middle of the season, and there's generally not a lot of people from outside your building that are coming in that are going to make significant changes. We've got our guys, and we're going to be hard at work trying to fix some issues. You got this, Dennis.

You actually have Sean Payton's guys.

Yeah, you got this. But I just like that being no, no, you guys don't know this building.

I also like the fact that by saying that, he's justifying his entire employment. Yeah, he's like, that's why I'm here, is because I'm a guy that's been in the building for a while, and I'm. Going to fix this and I'm going to fix everything. We are on coin alert with the Saints. Remember the jets coin?

Yeah.

There's a saints coin.

Oh, hell yes.

And it's undefeated right now. So this week they are predicting a win against the Colts. The coin is they're predicting the Saints to go eleven and six on the season. So they're predicting a win against the Colts, then a win against the Bears, win against the Vikings, win against the Falcons, and then they're going to beat the Lions. So we're going to find out in short order whether or not this coin is legit or if it's a fraud.

So they have a win this week.

They have a win this week.

Okay.

But it's early in the coin's history. Week eight is when you start separating, you start paying attention, like, is this counterfeit or is it legit?

Yes. Okay. Nerd nugget.

You got it.

20 points. Colts only team. However, Indianapolis.

Don't however me, big cat.

Do you feel good about the fact.

That oh, I love it.

You get me, like, once a week.

You like stealing the nerd nuggets, but then you also have to look at yourself in the mirror and being like.

I'm a nerd, I'm casually well, he just dropped. He dropped.

However, I have a little context.

Go ahead.

However, and it'll be tougher this week because the Saints only allow 18 points per game. However also, however, shout out to Blake who won the Colts tickets.

Oh, yeah.

He says he will be dressing up as Gardner Minshew going to the game.

Oh, love it.

Looking forward to seeing that.

Love.

I hope to see some people dressing up as Mr. Ursay for Halloween in the SADS, too.

Would be nice. It would be nice. Okay, next up, falcons. Titans. Titans. Throwback jersey. Will Levis. Maybe Malik Willis. I hope it's I bravel, like, hinted at a two quarterback. Don't don't do that. Don't do that.

Braves.

Yeah.

So it's going to be tough to erase the stink, much like how we were talking about with the Steelers week one when they got dominated by the niners. It's hard to move on past that. Malik Willis's first game was an all time bad performance. Really, really bad. And I think he got better.

I hope he got better. Wait, you're saying his first game last year?

No, his first game ever.

Yeah, because he came in, remember, in the London game. And that was very bad.

But somehow I don't think it was as bad running.

Remember the staying in?

I do remember that. That was a brain fart. That was a brain fart.

Yeah.

I'm hoping for Will Levis just because I'd like to see him play. I do think that the Titans have a leg up because they spent more time preparing for the throwback helmets than they did for travel plans to London. Yes, they've been practicing with the throwback helmets for, like, two weeks. Now they're ready to go, they're ready to roll. And who knows more? Who has the advantage? Does Arthur Smith have more of an advantage having coached with Vrabel, or does Vrable have more of an advantage working with Arthur Smith for all those years?

I think Arthur Smith I think the person who's learning from someone learns it's like the student in the pupil and the master and the pupil. Was that right? Is it pupil student?

Pupil student.

Yeah, I got it.

Whatever.

I haven't slept all week. I think that the person learning from someone learns all their tricks and then adds new tricks okay.

That Variel doesn't know, unless you're Belichick, in which case you just don't teach them certain things. So when you have to beat them as a head coach later you've got that correct.

And Arthur Smith maybe my favorite battle going on right now in football is Arthur Smith versus fantasy football players and prop betters because they are pissed?

I think he intentionally does.

I love it. I'm pretty sure I want to see Tyler Algier and running 40 times and Corderelle Patterson being the only one who catches the ball.

Yeah, he's being openly antagonistic to it's.

Great players. It's great.

I do like that a lot. But actually, we haven't had this conversation about Bijean because Bijean has looked really good when he's played. And then last week, he only got one carry, right?

Yeah.

And that one carry seemed like a fuck you to people. Because if he had an illness, if he had a migraine or whatever, you'd think that he would have just not given him the ball at all, right? But giving him the ball one time seems like a fuck you. Is Bijon Robinson somehow in Arthur Smith's dog house?

Okay.

We might be on doghouse watch with him.

I thought about this, and then another thing I thought about with this situation is could Arthur Smith be a sneaky genius? Could he be saying, we just spent a lot of money on this first round pick, running back. Don't put too many miles on him early in the season. Bijean is going to look that much faster late in the year.

He might be doing like a Derek Henry Tracker sito type. Let him get cooking later.

They won the game without Bijean. Guess what? That's 15 carries. He doesn't have it on his legs when you get to December.

Yeah, but you would have liked to win some of those close games you were in early season.

True.

I actually don't think he's in the doghouse, but it is something that we should pay attention to.

Yeah, I heard there was a report that he vaped in his face.

There was a report that he is in the doghouse. In fact, in terms of dog houses, Belichick's doghouse is the worst.

Right? Saban got to suck really bad.

Mike Vicks.

Yeah. Yep.

I bet Sean Payton's probably pretty bad, too.

Yeah. Sean Payton's. Dog house. Yeah, for sure. Nerd Campbell. Dan Campbell's dog. Dan Campbell. I feel like he would put you in the doghouse. He'd still come give you a pet.

Yeah, come in and sneak you some food.

You know I love you. I don't want to put you in this doghouse. Look what you made me do, babe.

His wife's asleep at night.

That kind of guy.

He sneaks back, he's like, hey, he's going to be our little secret. Supposed to feed you, but you know.

You'Re a good boy. The only reason you're in the dog house. I love you so much. Yeah, basically. Pimp. Dan Campbell's a pimp.

Titans running back Derek Henry can record his 39th total 100 yard rushing game this week, including regular season in playoffs. He would surpass Eddie George, who has 38 for second most, and Earl Campbell has 40. Derek henry.

Wow. Titans have a really good history of running backs. Yeah. Chris Johnson. The Oilers do too. Yeah, but chris Johnson, Eddie George, Derek Henry. Yeah. You want to go Earl Campbell? It's pretty crazy. Yeah, they do. We should put this in for July. July 27.

July 27 is a Saturday.

Okay, so July 25, Thursday. Let's do all time rankings of position groups.

I also have Hank teaches us an econ.

You like that?

Yeah, I do like that.

I like that.

That's a big day for the show.

Oh, that's huge. Okay, great. We'll double up, but yeah, all time rankings for position groups franchise wise. Niners quarterbacks, would you go niners quarterbacks? You could go packers quarterbacks, unfortunately. Yeah. It'll be good. It'll be good. That's going to be a lot of fun. That's going to be a lot of fun because I do think running backs for Titans, they might be number one. Okay, let's go to the next game. Texans, Panthers, Frank Wright giving up play, calling duty.

Major cuck have.

This is probably going to sound stupid when we play the game and the Texans beat the Panthers because the Panthers stink. I think Bryce Young is going to look good today. I think the Panthers might win their first game of the season.

So the Panthers off a buy. They are desperate for a win right now. They're trying something new on the offensive play calling side. And it does seem like this is a big, big week. If you're a Panthers fan, to just have Bryce go out there and not get blown off the field by CJ. Stroud for your own mental future, for your own well being, you want to see Bryce Young look like he belongs on the same field as CJ.

Stroud. Yes. And Thomas Brown, the new offensive coordinator. I think so. He's McVeigh tree. He was with the Rams. He also was with Georgia, with Nick Chubb, running backs coach. He was with Wisconsin when Melvin Gordon had 2500 yards. Running backs coach. I feel like he's going to run the ball and get wide receivers open. Yeah.

And who's the running back? Is it Miles Sanders?

Sure is. It Chubba?

Miles Sanders and Chubba Hubbard.

Remember Miles Sanders?

Yeah. He was pretty good. So maybe give him the ball. I think this might be the first time. It's also the fourth time this might be a nerd nugget. I'm stealing the fourth time. The number one and number two pick in the draft played in that same season. Oh, I'm not stealing it. Some of the stats are very funny. The jets and Jaguars played actually, the jets won even though Zach Wilson, he had a 91 yards rushing. Memes probably remembers that. Titans beat the Bucks with Mariota and Winston. Titans beat him 40 214. And then one of the funniest stat lines, the Colts beat the Chargers in 90 817 to twelve. Both quarterbacks were exactly twelve for 23 in that game. Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf. And yeah, so I don't know, that doesn't mean anything for here. It's just kind of cool, number one. Number two.

We're going to watch this game, though, and then immediately we're going to be like one guy's.

A bust. Yeah. So according to this, Trevor Lawrence was a bust, james Winston was a bust, and Ryan Leaf was a bust. And the right pick was zach Wilson, marcus Mariota and Peyton Manning.

Great players.

Yes. Nerd.

Panthers wide receiver Adam Thielen has 49 receptions this season, which is 33 more than any other of his teammates. He also has 59 targets, 30 more than any other teammate.

Okay.

He's just getting every catch on that team.

He's still good. Like the Panthers are talking about going out there and getting another wide receiver. He's one of the best wide receiver at home.

Yeah, you got one at home. Okay, before we get to the late slate, we're going to take a quick break for a very special ad. Make sure you're watching the YouTube because this is Paparoni brought to you by PFT. And Blake.

Yeah, that's right. I got Blake right here. Blake is ice cold against the spread. He's one four and when he took the Bucks tonight, plus nine and a half. So we'll know if he is on a little hot streak or if he's still the worst gambler in football. But he's brought to you by Pepperoni. I got some Pepperoni and Blake's going to blake, give me a wave. Good boy.

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Tune into the YouTube to watch Blake do all his tricks. Come here, Blake.

Come here, buddy.

Or you can go to Puparoni.com and find some more information about these great treats for your dog. Blake loves it. Blake's doing great. He's a football dog. He's here in the studio. Everyone loves him and he's growing up nice, big and strong. He's about 60 pounds right now, thanks to Pepperoni and all the treats and all the good food that he's having. We love Blake very much and I love football. Do you love football, blake, wave.

You love football.

Give me a big wave, Blake. Give me a big wave.

Big wave. Big wave. That's a good big wave. Good boy.

All right. Come here. Show your cute face to the camera. Come here.

Come here, big guy. There you go.

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He's huge.

And there's Blake. He's a big boy.

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Thank you, Blake. Give me kiss. Thank you. Good kiss, Paparoni.

Okay, we are back. That ad was brought to you by Blake and PFT. Blake is here. And Hank went to check on Blake and memes, said, what's Hank going to do? Give him a bad attitude?

Takes one to no one.

Connor, did you give my dog a bad attitude?

It was a good line. It was a really good line. Yeah.

I don't understand memes of beef with me.

I like it, though. I like the beef.

For the record, when I brought Blake into the studio, max was on the floor. Blake went right up to Max's cheek, started sniffing him. Max ignored him about 10 seconds until I was like, max, are you going to bullshit my dog? And then finally you turn around. You're like, oh, hey. Oh, it's a dog. Good.

Because he walked out of the studio and he goes, if I see that dog again, I'm an open hand slap. That fucking lie. I said, Max, it's not a girl dog.

This is a lie.

Okay.

Did you factor fiction? You ignored the dog for the first 10 seconds.

10 seconds.

Fiction.

10 seconds is fiction.

Longer.

It was significantly shorter. We were in the middle of the conversation, and then I've been the one watching Blake this whole time you've been in the studio. But if I hear him crying, I've been the one going out and making sure he's all right.

All right.

Okay.

Probably because you love to see dogs cry. Let me take a look. Dog in pain.

Wrong. Back to the games. Bengals at niners. Maybe a game of the day.

I would say this game is actually can't lose for both teams.

Well, Sam Darnold starting most likely is I think that you can't really get out of concussion protocol that quickly. Right.

Tua did.

Tua did. Well, he watched Gruber.

Yeah. What mid 2000s comedies brock Purdy has been watching? He did practice today, though.

Oh, okay. Maybe he's out of the protocol.

I'm hoping for a Sam Donald game.

I would like to see I am as well. I am as well. I bengals off a buy. T higgins back. Little healthy Joe Burrow got that pep in his step. Trent Williams. Is he playing Debo's?

Not Debo's out. And Debo makes a big difference.

Both those guys make a huge difference.

Because Debo's, he's the guy that Brock Purdy looks to when they blitz.

Right, right. And Trent Williams is a guy who blocks everyone when they blitz. Yeah.

And I feel like if it's a blitz and you're looking at the hot route. Having a guy that you trust, that you've got good rapport with is pretty important in terms of timing, as opposed to a guy that maybe you haven't worked with that much, where you might throw a ball too quickly.

These are good points, Page.

It might get picked off at the end of the game, hypothetically.

These are good points.

Yeah. They've got Ayuk who's a great receiver on the other side in his own right, but also, is Debo the most.

Important player on the offense? I think Trent Williams is.

Trent Williams is.

I think Trent Williams is for also, Christian McCaffrey is playing through an oblique injury, and I don't think he's exactly the same.

I'll say that the two touchdowns covered up a lot of stuff for him.

Yeah. Last two games, 15 carries, 45 yards. Eleven carries, 43 yards. Obviously, he catches the ball as well, but, yeah, maybe just like christian McCaffrey, at 85%, is still one of the best running backs in the world. But Christopher McCaffrey at 85%. Without Debo Salmon, without Trent Williams, things look different.

This is going to sound horny, but it's not.

Okay. Get the bunk list ready.

If you have a hip injury or an oblique injury going home to Olivia Munn every night, it must be tough to have that injury fully healed.

Wait, he's dating Olivia Munn, isn't he? No. Is it different?

Olivia Colpo? I was going to say that's what I meant.

Yeah.

Let me rephrase that. It applies to both, though. I don't know who's dating Olivia Munn, but if you have an oblique injury going home to Olivia harry's Tiles.

No, olivia Munn is married to oh, they're comedians.

They're engaged.

Yeah.

They have a kid together.

They're divorced.

Sudeikis.

No. Fuck. Why can't I even think of his name right now?

John Mulaney.

John Mulaney. Yes. Thank you. Lives. June 20. Yeah.

Week. Hips, probably on that.

This has been a fun week. We got it all. We connected it. Thanks for tuning in to pop culture.

Who's married to Pmtis and Olivia Munn broke up?

No. Olivia. Rodrigo. Yes. Rodrigo Blankenship. No. Who did snacus wild. Right. Olivia wilde wild. This is fucking crazy.

It's funny because we cannot keep track of the Olivia's, but I know, like, 20 different Jalens.

Yeah.

And I know exactly who they are. How many deshauns do I know? A fuckload.

Yeah. Fuck. All right.

But the point stands, which is, when you're married to her, it must be tough to rehab from anything involving your.

To any of the Olivia's.

Any of the olivia's.

Yeah. If you're married to a woman named Olivia and Olivia, you're good. Okay. So, yeah, I kind of lean the Bengals here. I kind of lean the Bengals here.

I don't know.

I don't know who's Joe Burrow dating.

We don't know. And we were going to respect his private life.

Come on.

It's up to Joe. Whoever he wants Olivia holzmacker.

What?

Or I don't know how to pronounce it.

That's actually who he's dating.

Yeah, he's dating an Olivia. Am I the only person that hasn't fucked an Olivia?

I haven't.

I have not.

Okay, good.

Me neither.

Max just raised his eyebrows. Hanks doing a little Jerry wink.

That's nuts.

Too many Olivia's.

Holy shit. They just do. They just make Olivia's hotter.

I think maybe if you date Olivia, you reach the top.

There's got to be a pick in here somewhere for you, big cat.

I'm also thinking of I have a couple friends whose daughter's name is Olivia, and they listen to this show, and they're going to text me and be like, what the fuck, dude? Olivia's are hot.

Well, they marry quite well.

Yeah. Okay.

All right.

Shout out Olivia's everywhere.

Do we have any listeners named Olivia?

Oh, for sure. They're the hottest. They are the hottest. Hit up the YouTube comments. Your name's olivia SUP nerd nugget. This is the best analysis of a game ever. It's crazy.

That was nuts.

I feel like you knew that.

I promise you I did not.

Okay.

The 49 Ers are the only team in the NFL to have four different players with two or more interceptions this year. Talanoa Hufunga Diamador Lenore Charvere Sword and Fred Warner.

You just did that because you want to say the name. What? You did that nerd nugget because you want to say the name. You crushed it.

I practice it.

Yeah, but you wanted to say the name. You wanted to flex. You flex. Say it again. Jeff. You flex with the nerd nugget.

Diamador Lenore.

No, no. Shut up. What the other guy?

Tarvarius Ward.

No.

What are you doing right now?

Diamondor Lenore. Talanoa Hufunga.

Yeah.

And Fred Warner.

He just flexed again. Yeah. Because he was like, oh, you want me to do the hard name? And he said he didn't do yeah. Fred Warner is the only funga is the hard who are easy. Yeah, but a funga is the hard name if you have a crazy name.

And you can play defense. You're on the 49 ers.

Yeah. Okay. Browns and Seahawks. I'm high on the Seahawks.

I am too. I think we've reached a good point in the does Deshaun Watson really love football? Discourse, and I think the waters have been mudied successfully enough to now that I'm at the point where I'm like, yeah, I don't think he really does no football.

No, I also I'm so high on the Seahawks. PFD. Would you like to ride on a bet with me?

Well, I do like the Seahawks this week.

No, I know. Would you like to on a bet.

With it depends on what the bet is.

You have to say yes before, and then you have to bet it with me. Yeah. Seahawks plus 400 to win the NFC West. Both their games against 49 Ers are ahead of them.

You love betting against our friends.

Listen, we have some friends on the Seahawks. DK yeah, it's true.

More like a frenemy.

It's not a bet against the Fortniters. Can win. Fortnites actually might be better at winning the Super Bowl as a wild card. I don't think how about that take?

I don't think DK can do it.

Well, you already said yes. You have to do it.

Yeah, I will do it, but I just also want to fire up DK a little bit. DK, he's a hothead right now. He's been injured. I don't think this guy's got together. It seems like all the pre draft analysis was right on him, where it's like, why is he falling so low? Because he can't turn. I think he has learned how to turn, but he forgot his bread and butter. He's very tough at going straight now.

Cancel the bet. Just looked at their schedule. Hadn't looked at their schedule.

I already said yes, though.

Okay, we'll do a little bet. I'll sprinkle a little friendship.

Sprinkle a little bit.

Oh, can we do I don't know if you could parlay the Seahawks to win the west and the 49 ers to win the Super Bowl. Well, what you can do that would be a while.

Here's what we should do. There are some bets because I was looking at exact order of division bets.

Yeah.

We can bet on the Seahawks to win the division. 49 ers coming second, rams come in Rd, cardinals coming fourth. I would ride on that. You probably get some good.

Yeah, yeah. They have a tough schedule. And all my Seahawks love, as crazy as it sounds, is because I bet on the Bengals versus Seahawks, and I had no business winning that game, and I walked away from it being like, respect.

Yeah, they're tough team.

That was a respect loss.

The Seahawks. They're tough out.

Yeah, no, they're a good team. And the browns. PJ Walker on the road. Nah.

Yeah, PJ. Walker is a nice player.

He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. Nice guy.

Jake the Seahawks defense currently has a three game streak of keeping opponents under 250 yards of offense. The last time that occurred was the last three games of the 2015 season.

Legion of Spoon.

Was that Legion of Boomer right after? I don't know, but they won it in 2030.

This is a Legion of Spoon, and I do believe in Seahawks defense. I feel like they're for real. I'm going to say Seahawks defense for real.

Kyle called them when we were driving over here. He called them in the middle period, the Legion of oh, okay. I had never heard that. That was good.

That's good when they're having a bad season.

Yeah, no, that's what in the it was Legion of Boom. Then it was Legion of whom now it's Legion of Spoon. Okay. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like that. Okay, next up, raven. Cardinals. Cardinals stink.

Yeah, they stink. But they hit in the first half. Again, this is the playbook for the Cardinals. You go out there, you might even win the first half. You compete. You have a good game plan going.

Into it, must compete.

Then you compete. And then at halftime, their coach is like, okay, remember, we're tanking right now. So we're going to make zero adjustments or maybe make a bunch of wrong adjustments at halftime. Then we're going to get our teeth kicked in in the second half and everybody's going to be happy afterwards because this is the game plan. This is what we're going to do. I want to keep that formula going because I'm a very bad gambler. But when I find something that works, I stick with those. So they keep me afloat to support all my other terrible bets.

Yeah.

So I've been making money on this one. But now the Cardinals are missing Zach Ertz big part of their offense. And they're missing James Connor, who's actually been good this year.

Yeah.

So this is going to be the make or break moment for me. I'm going to do it again this week. And if they burn me, then I'm off the Cardinals. But they're going to get their shit kicked in in the second half at least against Ravens.

Yes. Nerd Nugget.

The Ravens seven overall touchdowns allowed this season ties their 2000 Super Bowl team for fewest permitted by Baltimore through the first seven games of a season in franchise history.

That's pretty impressive.

The ravens are good. Yeah, they're very good.

Seven touchdowns in seven weeks.

If the Todd Monkin offense, if that was the game against the Lions, the launching pad for that offense, we could look back and be like, oh, shit. The Ravens are really good. They also just love this is another Lamar playing the NFC. Yeah, that's true.

A good point. 16 and one.

They just love playing anyone but the AFC North.

Yeah.

Whenever the ravens play the AFC North, it's trouble. Whenever they can get out of the division, they can beat people.

Is Kyler Murray playing this week?

No. Are we sure? Not sure.

I think he participated in practice fully.

Oh, so maybe Joshab needs him to play.

The Cardinals have all the short. Kings.

Hollywood rondell Moore.

Moore is so fun to watch explosives.

He's back soon.

Kyler Murray. He's back soon. Okay. Last afternoon game, Chiefs at Broncos, I thought we were going to get our first snow game of the year. It's going to snow in Denver on Saturday.

So is it going to be cold on Sunday?

I don't know.

They'll get it off the field.

Yeah, they'll get it off the field. So I was excited because I was like, OOH, first snow game pretty early. But it would have been cool. Did you know and this is a fucked up stat because the Chiefs are really good and probably the best team in the NFL. Did you know that the Chiefs lead the league in passes dropped.

I did not know.

That such bullshit.

Yeah.

18. That's such bullshit.

It is bull.

Half.

Those are Cadarius.

Tony yeah, that's bullshit. Also, here's a little woe stat for everyone out there. Patrick Mahomes, in his career, has lost 17 games in the regular season. Russell Wilson, in his Broncos career, has lost 16. So if Russell Wilson loses this game, he will have the same amount of losses in his one and a half years with the Broncos as Patrick Mahomes has his entire career.

So everything about this game tells you take the Chiefs, including that stat right there.

Yeah.

And they've been historically dominant over the Broncos, who have just had a sad recent history against the Chiefs. But I was thinking to myself, because I'm looking for an excuse to not bet on the Chiefs in this game, do you think Broncos players are going to play harder knowing that they're playing for the right to possibly not be on the Broncos anymore? Like you get out of jail, could get traded.

Yeah. Play your way out of a possible.

Just something that I thought about. I probably very dumb in using that analysis to try to bet on the Broncos this week.

Yeah.

But it's something that crossed my mind and I'm not totally convinced that it's wrong.

Yeah. Just work it out. You got 48 hours to work it out. Yeah. All right. Last game, Bears, Chargers. Oh, nerd nugget. Sorry.

This one's actually crazy. I do this once a week where it's my favorite.

One of the you're calling your shot. Yeah.

Last week it worked.

Yeah. All right, I'm unbiased.

Okay. This is from Curtis Siebel on Twitter. Since the beginning of 2017, the Chiefs have either led or have been tied for the lead in the AFC West in 102 of 111 regular season weeks. They've led the AFC West for nearly six consecutive years.

Well, they've won the AFC West for seven consecutive years.

Week one through week 1718. 102 out of 111.

I'm going to say B minus.

Crazy.

I'm sorry. Because the Chiefs, even the Chiefs are 33 or Patrick Holmes is 29.

I feel like they lost a game between weeks one and four where they didn't lead every week, where they lost.

Well, the Chiefs haven't let it.

Yeah, the Chiefs haven't led every 102 out of 111. If you had said 110 out of 111, I would have been like crazy. Well, okay, I'm being unbiased. It's a good stat.

Like, the Patriots have a longer run.

The Patriots had eleven years in a row, so the Chiefs are tied for the second most with seven years in a row winning the division.

So of those nine weeks, eight of them came in 2021. So most of them they have okay, that's interesting.

You're working towards something that's how you.

Got to frame the stat now is like, besides this one, besides year, that completely.

Disrupt week nine of 2021 and then week one of this year when they lost to the Lions. They've led the AFC West since 2017.

Every week. They're really good.

I think that's fairly impressive.

I'll go up to a B. Fine. I'm going to give you a B. That's good.

Yeah.

I convinced myself now that I think about, I would sell a kidney to even have the weeks that they didn't lead the division, to have the Commanders in the last seven years, how many.

Years they've led the crazy that's yeah. Eight weeks. Yeah. Eight weeks. Oh, my God.

Eight weeks. Sounds awesome.

All right, Bears Chargers, Tyson Pageant. Let's see what you got. Yeah.

The only note I had for Bears Chargers, I literally just wrote, why? Question mark. Why?

I think it's just they didn't want to burn one of their flexes. Chicago is obviously a big market and yeah.

Why?

That's it.

Why are you doing this?

So I am going to take the Bears against the spread because Brandon Staley just lives to fuck up games and make him a three point win or three point loss. That's what he loves to I think.

I think that's fair to say.

They all find a way.

They seem to be playing. It's like going back to Philip Rivers. Justin Herbert with the ball in his hands, driving down a score fourth quarter.

Right. Exactly.

Has to happen.

Exactly.

Nerd Nugget chargers running back Austin Eckler needs one touchdown to reach 30 for his career. That would set the record for most receiving touchdowns in the Super Bowl Era by a running back with a single team. They would break a tie with Brian Westbrook, who has 29 with the Eagles.

Okay.

I would put the Chargers up there with the Titans in terms of good running backs on a team for a long time. Yeah, they've got a good history.

Yeah. Daniel carries a lot.

Lorenzo Neil.

Natron means natron means. Natron means business. Michael Turner.

Darren Sprouls.

Yeah, they had some good ones.

Melvin Gordon.

Melvin Gordon. All right.

Ryan Matthews.

Ryan Matthews. Picks and standings. I feel like I'm taking on Water.

Standings for the warm up opening act of our show in Las Vegas. I am nine, four and one. Max is eight and six. Memes is six and eight.

Oh, no. Memes.

And for the main event between you guys, big Cat, seven, five and two. PFT. Eight and six. So I guess you guys are technically tied.

Yeah, I'm not wins that.

Yeah, we're tied points.

Yeah. Hank? Six, seven and one. That would be an electric show.

Got you. All right, who's up?

You're up first.

I'm up first. Fuck yes. Can I pass?

No.

Can't pass?

No.

Being up first.

No.

Fuck. I don't want to be up first. I'll go with talking a lot about the packers. I'll do a stupid one. Saints Colts over 43 and a half. All right, who's up next?

That would be memes. I'm stalling.

Should we just start a new cycle.

Now that we have yeah, let's start a new cycle. PFT. Now, these are our yeah, because we're.

Going from the old studio and it's.

All yeah, it's all jumbled. So you go PFT. We'll go around next week.

This feels like we're switching up methods in midstream.

No, this is fine. You want to go Hank second?

I just think it's easier for us.

I agree with Jake. Okay. We're going to be in this circle. Exactly. This.

Stillers game. Stillers plus two and a half.

Two and a half.

Okay, Jake?

I'm going to go with Rams plus six against the Cowboys.

Okay.

Sean McVeigh, baby game.

Okay, Max.

Jake, did you listen to what we said about that?

Yeah, I know.

Maybe can't score a touchdown.

McVeigh can't score more time away from.

His max big cat. What did you say? I said the over in the Saints Colts.

I'll say packers plus one and a half.

Great. Against the smart move. You're an idiot. I laid that trap perfectly. I don't think that the packers are so bad. They're never going to win that game. You fell for the trap, idiot. Shut up. You shut up. It's actually my mortal lock and advisor, so I really do like them. All right, memes, Jaguars, minus two and a half. Oh, head to head with PFT.

Hank double Bears plus eight and a half. Tyson bajant moneyline. Love it, love it. And then I'm going to go in honor of Olivia Bengals, 49, ers over 43 and a half.

Okay. Memes.

Vikings packers over 42.

Okay.

When Olivia Soprano died.

Do you know the Vikings are actually AI? It's like six and one to the under. I think this year makes no sense.

They miss it by, like, a couple of points.

Yeah, by a half a point every time.

Crazy.

All right, Max.

I will go.

Falcons.

Titans.

Under.

Oh, I like that, Max. I like what you did there.

We've got 35 and a half.

Army Navy. Wow. Okay. Go ahead, Jake.

I'm going to go with Eagles commanders over 43 and a half. Wasn't it like 34, 31 the other time?

Exactly how we'll go again?

Fine, you little small part two.

All right, PFT.

I'm going to take the Ravens. Cardinals over 44 and a half.

Someone take the seahawks. No, I'll take the Seahawks minus three and a half. And those are our picks. We'll post them out on Sunday and let's do some fantasy fuck, boys. Bump bump, bump bum. What's up, fuckers? What's up, fuckers? It's.

Devil's diggle. My stardom is Chris DAP porsingus bo. Unbelievable debut for the seas.

The spacing on the floor was incredible.

30 points, game winning three. Clutch gene defense. If he stays healthy, this team's winning number 18.

Okay, my sit him.

Bella tricks.

Lestrange, of course. Oh, what?

She's a murderous whore.

What she doing?

Took out Sirius.

Took out the long bottoms. Someone's got to stop this bitch, right?

I've been saying that for years.

I know exactly who is that's a good point, is driving into poles. Oh, shit.

You fall asleep at the wheel or you're just blind as a bat, you just drive straight into a parking lot and into a pole.

You can suck my dick.

It happens to a lot of guys. The video is unbelievable. We're going to watch it. Yeah. All right. Suck my dick from the back. I'm starting.

Hey, what's up?

You cocksuckers? You cocksuckers?

This is buz.

Flaviano. Buz. Yeah. There we go.

They call me he's a B man. I'm starting. Sam halloween spooky. Spooky. Making scary throws to Scary Terry this weekend. Love, Sam. How I'm sitting giant poles in parking lots because some people pull it up on a fucking Google Maps and they say, oh, look at this day glow yellow that was wrapped around this pole. Telling you, don't hit me. And then all of a sudden, somebody took the day glow yellow off, and it's now a very hazardous pole that many people will be driving into, God forbid. My sleeper is carbon monoxide, because you should change your carbon monoxide batteries when you set your clocks back, which, as.

We know, this weekend good call. What's up? Fuckers it's. Santino fantino ASF my stardom this week is Barry Sanders and a special fuck you to LinkedIn because Barry Sanders couldn't get into his LinkedIn and he asked everyone to help him out. What fucking job is Barry Sanders looking for?

I don't know, but now I can't look up his resume. I have no idea what he did.

He said, LinkedIn has suspended my account as they don't believe it's me. It is him. It's Barry. My cinema is the Chicago Bulls. One game in? They got a players only meeting.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's sick. Oh, Bills had a players only meeting, too, earlier.

Pretty good.

They told Billy Donovan, take a hike. And then my sleeper is Connor Stallions with the Michigan manifesto. I want to read that manifesto. It's going to be great. 550 pages. Big ass book. You write a manifesto about something you fucked up.

You fucked up real quick with the manifesto.

Yeah.

This is new news. Today, the FBI has actually joined the investigation to Michigan football.

Well, that's how many FBI agents went to Ohio State.

Well, there already was an investment that's.

A separate yeah, but this is a new the FBI now is investigating because.

There was a staffer, I think Matt Weiss's name he got all of his computers taken over the summer.

Yeah.

Michigan.

What's the difference between a manifesto and a mission statement?

The manifesto is if you're going to murder somebody.

Yeah, typically, I'm more of a protocol.

Statement of a person's or group's beliefs, aims and policies.

Yeah. There's not their political beliefs. Yeah.

If you write a manifesto, you should be arrested.

It's bad. Stick with protocols.

There's a conspiracy theory that I am 100% on board with now about Connor Stallions.

Yeah.

So Big T brought this to my attention yesterday. I've been digging into it a little bit.

Okay.

There was some allegations that Michigan had also helped out future opponents of potential future playoff teams to get ahead of it so that Michigan would, in theory, have an easier time in the College Football Playoff. You go back and you look at South Carolina, who I think they scored zero points on offense the week before they played Tennessee, and then they dropped 60 points on Tennessee. And then the week after that, they go on the road against another top five team, clemson. And they beat Clemson. And they were a shitty team until those two weeks. And the game against Tennessee, that's the first time that South Carolina had been wearing wristbands on defense. The first time they've ever done that.

Wait, the Clemson thing doesn't make sense, though, because Clemson sucked last year.

No, Clemson, I think, at the time.

No, they weren't in the College Football Playoff. I'm pretty sure. Okay. But I like the other part.

Well, let's look it up.

Yeah, no, we just got to clean it up because I think I think the Clemson part might be big T should let go the Clemson part. Okay.

I asked Big T also to bring me a connection. What is the connection between Michigan and South Carolina? Because if there's a connection, then I'll continue pulling on this string. The defensive coordinator at South Carolina played defensive back at Stanford from 2007 to 2009 when Harbaugh was their head coach.

Interesting.

It is interesting to think about it's.

A lot of interesting things. Clemson had lost the previous week to Notre Dame. They got smoked okay. In November of 2022.

So I guess the theory on this so Clemson didn't stink at the time.

Right. They had taken a very bad one.

A bad one loss. So the theory is that Harbaugh was looking ahead, protecting himself in case he lost to Ohio State.

Got it.

To be like, we don't want to be the only yeah, we don't want to go up against another one lost team.

Got it.

And compete to see who's going to.

Get I don't hate it. I don't hate it.

I love this story so much. And there's two very funny possible outcomes to it. One, Michigan wins the national Championship, which would be hilarious, and then gets a lifetime ban, and then lifetime ban. Two, Michigan. If all this shit is real, then the Big Ten probably not the NCAA. The Big Ten might say, you're not playing in our championship game this year. And Michigan would I don't know, they might not be bowl eligible if there's enough shit going on behind the scenes.

The only problem is the NCAA works so slow.

They do.

Jim Harbaugh still open an investigation for the COVID violations.

That's true. They drag their feet so hard. I have had some very high level conversations with the highest of levels at barstool, sports about a potential national championship game. If Michigan is bowl ineligible between Michigan and James Madison. If James Madison is also undefeated.

I like that. We're not thinking about James Madison.

The conversations have started.

Yes. I like that. High level, high level, high level.

The highest of level conversations. I've had a couple sit downs with some big shot callers here. They're talking about it.

Okay, I like it. Hank, what's up?

Did you get to see PFT's video?

I haven't yet.

Have you seen it, PFT?

I have seen the video, yeah.

Can I see it?

Can we see it?

Oh, what do you mean?

My video great for the listeners out there.

We can see it.

The video of you crashing a new pole.

How did you see it? Because I was the one that got the security footage yesterday, Max.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I went into the office and I was like, hey, let me see the surveillance footage. And the guy started playing it for me and downloading it. I was the one that got it. You came in late.

I have not seen it. I would like to see it. Also, everyone subscribe to the YouTube because we now have the capabilities of playing videos for ourselves in studio.

Watch this poll come up.

So we might start doing this like a jamie, please pull up PFT crashing into a poll.

Okay, so there's the poll.

You said there's another car.

Actually, I can't even see the pole.

Oh, no, this is not I can't.

Even see the pole because it's yellow.

Good driver thing.

So what we're not seeing right now is the giant 18 wheeler that was coming at me from the left. You guys didn't even get all the angles. He said he was going to send you all the angles.

This is like awesome powers going back and forth.

Oh, no, PFT, this is a bad look.

Okay, there we go. There's my car. And then crunch, crunch right into it. And then I backed off and I'm.

Trying the sensors you know, the sensors are going crazy right now.

Every sensor was going and you just.

Were like, nah, I'm fine. And I'm trying to get out and you're scraping it more.

I can't even see that pole.

Oh, my God. This is not helping the I'm a good driver.

That's it, though, right?

You didn't even play it from the start. Then I get out of there. There's no 18 wheeler, no cars. See that car on the left?

On the far left, you have like 100ft away.

No, that's a FedEx 18 wheeler. That made me turn out of there.

Because I had which is a pretty routine turn that you're making.

The FedEx is on the street.

The FedEx is right here. This is a very regular turn.

I'm a perfect driver.

Yeah. Okay, well, Jake's not allowed to laugh. You hear that, Jake?

I'm not laughing.

You're not allowed to laugh.

Yeah, but if you thought about laughing, then cut it out.

Yeah, I'm not laughing.

Okay.

You rooted for Jim Beheim.

I just want to know.

You rooted.

For Dan Snyder's team for a very long time.

What you want about Dan Snyder, but I don't think he yeah, you're wrong.

He has a driver also.

Jake's. A big Stewart. Yeah, big Tony Stewart guy.

Play the head. I need to know what don't call it hits.

What the fuck?

It's not a game.

Jesus Christ. Now Jake's laughing.

That backfired.

I made a bad turn, but that pole came out of nowhere. And the fact remains that the pole used to be clearly marked as a safety hazard with yellow. And then Hank designs the parking lot, and all of a sudden, the safety yellow is completely gone.

You did this, Hank. You did this.

I'm going to fix it. I'm going to get a giant fathead of you there to kind of commemorate the moment and remind people not to drive into this pole.

So, like, two days ago, I was just looking at how awesome my car was before I ran into this pole. And then now it's just like I'm so disappointed myself. It's a sick car, though.

There's got to be a guy. Someone hit us up. Auto body shop. Give us a nice deal. No free ads.

No free ads.

All right, let's get to Kyle Long. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, long term, longtime friend of the show, recurring guest in person, first ever in person guest in the new Pardon My Take studios. It is Kyle Long, our guy. Three time pro bowler. No big deal. You can see him on CBS on Sundays. You can see him on the Greenlight Podcast. You can also see him on the Barstool pro Football football show on Friday nights and Sunday mornings. Rier. Kyle.

What's going on, boys?

Welcome.

It's great to see you. Awesome studio. Awesome building here. I'm so happy. I was just saying before we started, I'm secondhand proud of you guys. Like, your family and you are family.

Yes.

We've been nurturing this relationship for a while, so it's great to see y'all in studio.

I appreciate that.

Does that mean Howie's her dad, too?

Yeah, Howie's, you know, somewhere in know, you might get some kick down some kickbacks from the old to.

I want the ability to visit the Montana house for like, one week a year.

You got it. And there's nobody willing to invite more people to our summer home than my dad. He's so proud of it. Like, you guys are of the studio dad's. Like, have you been to you know.

You guys talked to yeah, no, we talked to was it was a great interview. I want to go to Montana, and I want PFT and I to go out on a boat and pretend that we're in trouble. So he has to rescue us to get those numbers up. Yeah.

Well, the thing is, if he does rescue you in the middle of the lake, dad always bring a biodegradable soap just in case in the emergency of you're really dirty.

Did you know you can bathe out here? It's a big bath.

Catch this soap.

I love that. That's such a dad thing, because he's going out there to save you. But also he's bringing a dad fact with him. He's like, did you know that this lake is so clean that it could actually be bathwater?

Yes.

This Mr. Keels, Dr. Keels soap actually benefit the fish population.

He was great. He was great on the show. And I didn't realize it before we interviewed him that he was in that Thing You do.

Yeah.

So when did you find out that your dad played a gay guy in that Thing you do?

That's a great question.

Great question.

I knew that he had a part, a small part, something like in the director's cut, I believe it was the scene with Tom Hanks and my dad leaving a nice hotel, going to a date night, and Dad's waiting in the car for Tom Hanks, who's trying to get his band members back to the hotel. They've been drunk all night. So he's like, I'm going on a date. But yeah, dad. Tom Hanks dating and a drop top Corvette. Probably 1960s Corvette. It was a good look for my dad.

Yeah, actually, it is a big come up if your dad, in theory, in, like, movie land, Hollywood world, if he is good looking enough, where he could conceivably play Tom Hanks boyfriend.

Yeah, he's a dual threat. Just like when you look at some of these quarterbacks, they can throw it. They can stand in the pocket.

Dad can do it all at a high level. Yes. All right, so I mentioned at the top, you analyze football for a living now, which actually, before we talk about the NFL right now and maybe some week eight picks, how do you like analyzing football for a living? Is it a little weird?

I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it honestly, every Sunday. Luckily, I just do. Pregame. I don't have to do post game. And I'm with CBS Sports and we tee up the NFL Today show with Phil Sims and Boomer and all those guys. But my job is give people my opinions before the game, what's going to happen, and I don't have to answer them after the game.

Right, great.

I don't have to come back in at halftime and say, well, I was way fucking off on Detroit, which is great. And that's fun. I get to talk from an O lineman's perspective, which there's not many of in TV. You get a lot of skill players, you get a lot of quarterbacks coaches. Cowboys get a lot of journalists. But I think the offensive line community is one that isn't able to speak up on a national level enough. And I love what Whitworth's done with Amazon. He does a really good job, and they let him lead some segments, which is great. I think he's an ass kicker and a great guy. But as far as I go, yeah, I watch what I watch, which is a line of scrimmage. And if you do something worth talking about outside of that, I'm probably going to talk about it. But it's hard. It's hard. You have to come up with fresh things to say every week. I can't just say their D line's better.

Yeah, you got a lot of tips.

You can just call people frauds.

I can call people frauds, which I've done. I called Daniel Jones, Daniel Loans a couple years ago, and that was my first step over the line.

I was like, Daniel loans.

And people were like, that wasn't that good.

Yeah. You can also just make stuff up.

You can make stuff up, which I have.

Yeah. If you're wrong, you'd be like, that was a bit. Yep, that's essentially the entirety of this show.

You have to check the injury reports, too, because, like, you and I and PFT, we know the teams, we know the rosters.

No, I oftentimes like to let it surprise me.

When you're asked about the day of like, somebody was like, what's going to happen in this game? I'm like, well, so and so is going to have a great game. They're like, So and so is on IR.

Yeah.

Who was going to tell me that before this?

I like to get to the games on Sunday and be like, wait, I haven't seen this guy. And someone's like, oh, well, he broke his leg last week. I'm like, oh, that's cool.

You know what else you get to do is, like, if a player, let's say Brock Purdy on Monday Night Football, brock Purdy doesn't didn't play well, then you go out and you absolutely crucify the guy the next day. Like, this guy sucks now. And then they announce, well, he actually had a concussion in the second half. Then you say, that's bullshit. They're making excuses for him. You get to say that injuries aren't real, too, which is a real fun.

Part of the oh, man. And that's one thing that's tough about being in the media is they say, like, if you're calling a game or something and you guys have called live events, they say if there's an injury, you're just supposed to say the guy's down. You're not supposed to take guess. We're not doctors. We're not any of that stuff. And that's a point of emphasis before the season when you have your seminar, your webinar or whatever, they're like, Guys, you're not doctors.

Like, when Romo speculated, he's like, I don't want to speculate here, but that looks like a sprained ankle for Dak Prescott. When his foot was turned back.

We did a rough and rowdy once when a guy had a seizure after getting knocked out. And I did the right thing of not talking about it, but I didn't realize the whole time they had the camera on us. And I was just like this. I had my hands over my head and everyone's like, did the guy die? Like, all we see is Dan just looking like he died. So yeah, I got to learn on that.

I asked Jim Nance for any advice. You get an opportunity to have a phone call with a guy like Jim Nance. It was a conference call. It wasn't like I called Jim nance, but Jim any advice? And he was know, it's important to remember that it's a visual medium. And I was like, before he could even continue, I was like, sometimes silence is golden.

Yes.

And he paused for 5 seconds and he was like, you don't have to fill up this space. He was like, people are watching the game. They happen to be listening to us.

That's good. That's good.

Well, I have some advice for CBS if you want to take this to the suits upstairs.

Great.

CBS, fantastic network. I love watching games on your TV station on Fox. One thing that I think CBS could maybe learn from a little bit that Fox does is when a player gets injured, they play the Fox NFL Sunday music, but they do the somber version of it a commercial break.

You need a somber CBS.

Yeah.

You need injury music to let people know like, hey, we're playing the buffer music. But also we're not happy about it. We're not excited. I think both me and Big Cat have said in the past that we want the Fox NFL injury music to be played at our funeral.

As you lower the cast, it's like.

Which stadium has the most disrespectful PA. Announcer? Like, if somebody goes down, what are they going to mean? It's always, what, another one bites the dust?

Yeah, I've heard it all.

A guy that's been injured in every stadium in America. I've heard all the songs.

That's a nice little trophy in your closet. Yeah, just a guy who's been injured in every stadium.

Just a stack of fucking bandaids and some dirt to rub on it.

Worst injury of the year. Could be an end of the year NFL award. They give you the golden crutch.

Yeah.

Hey, sorry.

Well, they give the Ed Block Courage Award, which I've won. I won it because I came back from a brutal injury. That's the award essentially like somebody who showed toughness and the ability to get back on the horse. And then I got injured again and they were like, yeah, he can't win the ward again.

He can't keep doing this.

They kept voting me in and they were like, no, it's got to be somebody else.

Yeah, he's getting injured on purpose getting injured.

This sucks.

Yeah. Let's actually go into that real quick because it is very fascinating when we hear guys talk about injuries, because we think, okay, you get an injury like, oh know, you're still around the team, you're still part of the thing, but that's not how it works. The NFL is that the worst part about the injury, the fact that you are essentially a ghost in the facility.

You took the word right out of my mouth.

If people don't talk to you, people don't even converse with you. Yeah.

I mean, not only are you not playing and not helping, but throughout the day, your schedule is different. You know what I mean? You may go to meetings with the office. Let's say I get an injury to my lower leg. I can't play for six weeks. For six weeks, I'm going to be lifting by myself with the training staff. I'm going to be in early with the training staff. I'm going to be in late with the training staff. I'm not going to be able to practice with my guys. They're going to eat lunch at a different time than I am. You become a ghost. You become a stranger to your own closest friends. And then when you get back in the building, after you've rehabbed and done all the things that they said, if you do this, you'll be able to come back. You get back, you don't feel like yourself on the field, and that's become your identity throughout the years. Then you say, yeah, this isn't me. I don't feel good. I don't feel good at all. And then you start to have the self doubt, and then that injury becomes your career.

Yeah.

You ever have coaches that blamed you for getting injured?

Yes.

That's the worst, isn't it?

Yes.

Why'd you step, dude?

So this guy's got pussy bones.

We went to Tampa Bay, and we were playing in my fourth year, I believe, and we had a fullback by the name of Paul Asike, who was he had a voice like an angel, like a songbird, but he was a rugby guy, I think he was Kiwi.

I like this guy. Checking all the boxes.

We ran the Andy Reed shovel pass in the low red area.

Okay.

I was on the Deuce block, so it's a double team with me and the right I guess I was playing guard, so it would have been the right tackle. We're double teaming a guy. Cutler flips the ball to La cke behind the know. They go with the shovel pass option, and the ball was fumbled. It landed on my legs, near the back of my legs while I'm driving into the end zone, and the pile falls on my legs, specifically my right ankle, which just got exploded. And I remember I went in after I got surgery, like, two days later, I went in to go meet with my coach, and he was. Like, if you just use that fucking technique that I told you, what a dickhead. And I remember looking at him like, you've got to be kidding.

Yeah.

In this moment here. That's what you chose to say?

Yeah, like, the entire pile just fell on my leg. What the fuck do you want me to do?

Yeah, so that does happen. And was it my fault? Maybe. Was it not my fault? Maybe. Football shit happens. There's bodies flying around on everywhere. Me and Will Compton were talking about it today. I said, there's some days I look at this game and I say, I could still play. And then he said, and there's some days I look at the game and I'm like, how did I play this right with all the bodies flying?

That's crazy. When it comes to coming back from injury, you just said it like the self doubt. How do you deal with that? Where you're like, I know I should be moving this guy in front of me, but I can't. There's like a 10% of my strength is not there, or I'm missing something. Because I would imagine that happens in literally every locker room. The NFL and teams that are going through that. Like, a bunch of guys who get injuries, you think, oh, they're back, but you don't realize that actually they're not back until they've overcome that self doubt.

There's different categories of players in the NFL as it pertains to response to injury. Like you go watch lane Johnson last week against Jalen Phillips. Lane Johnson is out there on one leg. Jalen Phillips is one of the premier rushers in the NFL. Lane Johnson is holding his own. Is he in pain? 100%. There's no self doubt in there, though. Yeah, some of these guys are just wired differently. Joe Burrow on a calf looked like shit the first few weeks, but he's like, Guys, I'm okay, right? Like, I'm Joe Burrow.

Right.

Patrick Mahomes. Every week seems as if he's limping. Yeah, people are always around his feet, but he's got mental toughness. I was gifted physically. I could do things that other guys can't do. I can roll out of bed and go jump over something or run through something. But when you get injured when I got injured, it was devastating mentally and from a confidence standpoint. And when you get back, before you even try to block somebody, you go through warm ups, you go through high knees, you go through side shuffles. And if you feel like shit during high knees, I promise you, you'll feel even worse during football. So if this is your return, like, I'm thinking about Kyler Murray, 21, practice day return window. Yeah, he probably feels good in indie and all that stuff when things crank up, when he has to avoid a rush, when he's got to put that leg in the ground a different way, it may not feel the same. Yeah, some guys just don't listen to that voice.

I was a guy that did.

And when it happened repeatedly four years in a row, you start to say, hey, man, let's just yeah, let's just get out of here alive.

Tell you something, though, that makes you normal.

Yeah.

What you're describing right now is not a deficiency that you have. I think that's what 99.9% of people have based off 500,000 years of evolution. Basically, it's like, hey, if you're injured, then protect that injury. And if it feels bad, then that shouldn't be something you continue to do. So it's like it's a normal thing that you have. But some guys are just like, okay, they can tune that out, and they're absolute psychos. Like, Tyreek Hill is another guy that I feel like he gets injured every week for like two plays and he gets back in the game.

Yeah, he puts his head down. He sulks a little bit, but he's walking at 9 miles an hour. And he gets back to the huddle and he's like, just throw it to me again.

Your brother told me the like he explained an injury in the NFL, and he said the worst part of getting injured in the NFL is that you get injured and then you go into the locker room and then you're sitting there in a ton of pain, and there's a dude who's like, 140 pounds wearing khakis and a team issued polo with his hands on his hips being like, you really not going to get back out there. And you just want to be like, dude, shut the fuck up. No.

Well, they don't even ask you that question, big cat. What they say is, so are we going to tape this or what do you want to cast? They didn't even ask you. They're like, So you are going to play. How are we going to get it right?

Right. And just being frustrated with like, fuck, I need a second here. Go ahead.

I was going to say as an analyst, like, welcome to the big leagues. You're big time CBS. Now your words carry weight behind them. I was actually looking at your rankings of America's teams that you put out.

Now.

This wasn't on CBS. This was with Greenlight. On Greenlight with your brother Chris. It says right here that you have the Houston Astros as America's team.

So I went second. So this thing is the America's team has taken on a life of its own, right? Every week we get to pick who we think America is going to hang their hat on as their favorite team. And I thought with Michigan cheating, with Houston's history of cheating, I saw the response to Michigan. It was a polarizing response, I would say. And I like altuve and I like to ruffle feathers. And Chris is a Phillies fan, so I picked the Phillies and the Astros to play in the World Series, and then I picked the Astros to beat the Phillies. It looks like we're all wrong.

Yes, you were right last year, but.

America's teams, they're fun.

Yeah.

I would say right now, America's team in terms of the NFL, if you had to say which team.

It'S the Lions.

The Lions are kind of there. You still got to go Chiefs, though, right?

Chiefs, yeah.

Eagles. Eagles. Yeah.

I would say Chiefs.

And now, more so than ever, the Niners, because Brock Purdy is being doubted. Sam Darnold's playing this week, but we think he is. Yeah, Brock Purdy's being doubted. Nobody roots for a team harder than a team with a guy that's being doubted. Brock Purdy is the guy. And, yeah, I would say the Niners are on my America's team. The Vikings, they were risky as a motherfucker.

They might be.

We're going to get back to Kyle Long in a second, but he's being brought to you by game time. I love game time. Easiest way to get into a game, easiest way to buy tickets for anything, any big event that you have coming up, game time is the fastest and easiest way to buy tickets. You can get into sports games. You can go to music shows, comedy shows, theater events. They've got everything going on. Game time is the one place to go for a great ticket buying experience, especially on last minute seats. If you're looking for deals, they've got you covered. If you're looking for an easy way to buy tickets to a game and transfer them to a friend family member, game time is the easiest. It is seamless. Browse through the gametime app and check it out for yourself. We've got some concerts coming town. I'm going to go see a few concerts in December that I already bought tickets to through game time. We've got college football, NFL. We've got World Series games. Game time has it all. They have last minute tickets, flash deals, zone deals. They've got easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area.

It's the only app that I will use to buy tickets because it's super easy and they show you your all in price up front so you know that you're getting a great deal without the hidden fees. They hooked it up. Game Time hooked it up for myself and memes at that Thursday night game in Landover, Maryland. Commanders Bears, we had some of the best seats in the entire house, if not the best seats. I've never seen football like that. It was all thanks to game time. They've got the best seats going. Check it out. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time. Download the gametime app, create an account, use promo code PMT. Get $20 off your first purchase. Here's $20. Okay, here's $20, courtesy of part of my take in game time. Just download the gametime app, create an account and use code PMT and you get $20 off your first purchase. Download game time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. And now here's more kyle Long.

Okay, I want to talk about some teams right now, and we just mentioned the Chiefs. You were in Kansas City for was a year. Two years. How the fuck is Andy Reid this good at? We we've been saying for the last few weeks, the Chiefs have reached their final form of the Dynasty Patriots, in that they brought back Mikole Hardman. They're also winning with defense now. And Patrick Mahomes isn't doing these shot plays. They've morphed into a different team, and they just keep winning like they didn't miss a beat. But if you look at these Chiefs, first Chiefs five years ago, they are playing completely different ball.

One thing that stands out to me about all successful coaches in this league is they all have that X factor. Whatever it is that they do, they do it very well. Andy Reid understands the offensive line position as well as anybody I've played around. He also gives the keys to the car to Andy Heck, who is the offensive line coach. And that's a name that doesn't get talked about enough for the Chiefs, but he's the run game coordinator as well. Andy Reed's in charge of screens. He talks to the lineman. He knows the lineman better than anybody. Better than anybody not named Andy Heck.

Right. Which most head coaches don't do that. They're not that involved with the offensive line.

The offensive line is the biggest group in numbers on the football field with the Chiefs. They're the most talented group on the football field. Tackle to tackle, the inside three. They're great. Andy Reid knows that's the strength of the football team. But in addition to that, they have Patrick Mahomes.

Yeah.

In addition to that, they have Travis Kelsey and to your point, Steve Spagnolo's defense, 21 points or less in each of the first seven games. They look patriots ish where they find new ways to win each year.

It's crazy.

You say, how are they going to do it? They don't have a receiver. Well, they got a great defense.

Right.

Okay, now, their defense, maybe their defense struggle. Well, watch Rashid Rice go put up 141 of these games, right? Nicole Hartman's back. That's great. Huge punt return. He's a guy that knows how to press the buttons on his team. He understands personalities. He lets you go. One thing he always said was, Monday through Saturday, those are my days. Sunday's your day.

Oh, I like that.

And I was, huh. It makes sense. His guys have fun. His guys have fun, and they win.

Do you think sometimes he gets too cute with it, especially in the red zone, or does he get bored, especially when he's playing? It's kind of the same thing when you're playing against the Broncos on a Thursday night game and then you're running.

Like, my question is that Andy Reed or is that Matt nagy calling the plays in Denver?

Well, because I feel like Andy did that before Matt Nagy was calling the plays.

Do you think that this recent game was a Matt Nagy special?

Which one are you talking about?

The three wasted opportunities in the red area.

That probably Matt Nagy special. Yeah, but I have seen a lot of Andy Reid doing that type of stuff, especially in the red zone where they're doing, like, a fake shovel pass to a tight end.

Look, there's a creative threshold, though, where it goes from creative to cute, and I think we can agree on that, where it's like, oh, wow, that was really creative.

I'll tell you what the threshold is because I know exactly where that line is. If it works, it's creative.

If it doesn't, it's 100%. And we saw that with Nags in Green Bay. There was too many cute plays that didn't work. And then obviously, they have the people and the installation right in Kansas City where they can say, the person making the decision on this cute play is number 15, Patrick Mahomes. The ball is in good hands.

I think it can actually not work and still be creative if it looked like it could have worked. Yeah, like if a guy's open and you just missed the pass, it's dumb and cute whenever you get like and.

The defense has to cover it.

Yeah. When you get tackled for a loss, it's instant, like you got too cute.

Also, if there's a pancake on the play, if somebody on the offensive line, like steamrolls somebody, then it's not cute anymore, even if it is like a double reverse pass back to Brown.

That was powerful. I love that. Offensive line is awesome. They should get all the kudos that they can because everybody else gets talked about on that team, whether it's Chris Jones or Mahomes or Kelsey or Taylor Swift. I mean, the reality of it is you got to beat people up front. And Creed Humphrey, trey Smith, joe tooney. And then Taylor and Smith. Their tackles. They've been great this year. And there was widely publicized all the penalties on Joanne Taylor at the right tackle spot, but they're figuring out what's legal in terms of alignment.

Okay.

So I like where we're going with this, because when we talk about offensive linemen on the usually we try to spread out a little bit, but like every other show, we'll talk about the left tackle or the right tackle. That's usually what we key on. Give us your top interior linemen on the offensive side of the ball in football.

I think if we're going to go group, I'm going to go Kansas City.

Okay.

Group is Kansas City because you're only as strong as the guy next to you. I truly believe in that. And you mentioned tackles. That's great. One group of guards that I really like, or at least the guard tackle combination is in Chicago, I love it. Yeah, I love it. They've got a guy named tevin jenkins who's an ass kicker. He is a mood setter.

If he can stay healthy, he's legit.

Darnell wright has been awesome, has been great for the Chicago bears. And you put a big tight end next to him, and now you have a three man wall where you can just wash the backside of a run play. And I think that's really underappreciated. I'm glad you asked about the inside guys.

Yeah. We need to pay more respect to the guards.

Bill Callahan's group, the OGS. Bill Callahan's group is great.

He's a great coach.

He is a great coach. Everywhere he's been. How'd you guys let him out of the building?

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how we let him. Like, it feels like everywhere that bill callahan goes, the running game improves instantaneously.

Wait, so I have a question, because bill callahan is a phenomenal coach, and we were making this argument the other day that Dante scarneckia might actually be the goat, not brady or belichick, because every time he coached patriots offensive line, they were incredible. How are those two guys better than everyone? Like, what is it, the technique or how they're teaching? Because you'd think a coach is a coach is a coach. Yeah, obviously a head coach. There's a lot involved. But all these coaches in the NFL, the offensive line coach, they clearly know what they're doing. But there's still a couple guys that are that much better than everyone else.

Can I tell you the difference?

Yeah. I'm very interested in this because I.

Had a visit with all these coaches.

Okay.

Pre draft scarneckia, it was like old school. It reminded me of, like, a scene from rudy where they're in there watching film. You know what? Like old, old school football. I mean, they still run hills after practice. They hit a heavy bag after practice. People hate going to work in new England because they work so hard. Bill callahan, I have my visit with him. And frank pollock, who is the o line coach in Cincinnati, I believe now. They were in dallas together with zach martin. This is right before zach martin got drafted. They had tyron smith and a few other guys. But bill callahan pulls up a play. He says, all right, we're running this know it's third down. This is the linebacker we're responsible for. Who are you blocking? He essentially said, this guy comes down. Who are you blocking? And he clapped like a second later, and he said, you can't play for me.

Damn. Because you didn't answer right away.

Right away. He said, quarterbacks hit. You can't play for me.

Oh, I love that.

He left. And I did the rest of the meeting with frank pollock. So to your question, I would say this. He doesn't have any room for bullshit.

Right? Yeah.

If you play for bill Callahan, just like if you play for Bill Belichick. You better know what you're doing, right?

Yeah. Big cat.

What's the promo code for Mugsy Tate? Yeah, no, he got it.

He can't play for me.

No, he got it. He got it.

He can play.

I actually was off such a that's so funny. Like, all right, my right hand guy's.

Going to handle this.

You're an idiot.

There's some coaches that work you to death. There's some coaches that expect you to have such a high football acumen. And I think Callahan's one of those guys. And I wish I got that question right.

Oh, man. Did you answer it, like, after he left the room? Like, costanza with the jerk?

I think I still don't know how to block. I think I just said the three. The three technique.

Yeah. All right. So another offensive line question related. Tyson bajant is obviously starting for the Bears right now. Justin Fields injured. I feel bad for Justin Fields because it feels like no matter what, it's not going to work out. But this guy on Twitter who I've mentioned before, Robert Schmidt's, he was the one who posted the initial video of Justin Fields taking a little bit slower in his dropbacks. Tyson badgent is a lot quicker in his dropbacks. How important is that for an offensive line? Even like a fraction of a second? Does that make you guys that much happier, where it's like he's getting to his spot so quickly. We're going to be okay.

It's not necessarily the getting to the spot quickly, which does mean you want to get to your spot quickly as a quarterback so that you can then what, step up or deliver the ball or get out of the pocket. And seeing bajant be on time, we always hear people say on schedule. Tyson bajant was on schedule. There was nothing that he saw that thwarted his focus away from the guys down the field. And, you know, one of my pet peeves is when people say he keeps his eyes downfield. It's like, where the fuck are you going to look?

You know what I mean?

He not only keeps his eyes downfield, he can make the throws when he's going outside the numbers. When he's forced off of his spot. He gets to his spot so quickly that he can see the danger coming if somebody gets beat and get off his spot quickly. Yeah, if you are oozing back to your spot, then it becomes a race to get out of there. He has his feet planted early. And the important thing is the ball's out. The ball's out, dude. And I remember when Russell Wilson was playing in Seattle and he was doing great, but he was running around like nobody's business. I would have hated to have played offensive line for Russell Wilson. I would have giving up a ton of you know, when I played for Cutler, I knew Cutler was going to stand in the pocket and throw the ball. It may have been to the other team, it may have been to our team, but at the end of the day, no sacks, all happy, right? So if I'm an offensive lineman, I'm happy to see what Tyson Bajan's done for Chicago. And I know the receivers like him.

And you can hear the guys on the sideline saying, man, this kid's got moxie.

Yeah, there's something about got some swag. I'm sure that he will have know shoe dropping moment where it's like, oh, yeah, this is why he's Division two and was undrafted. But it is crazy to watch the side by side video of him, just how quickly he gets back and how the offensive line can just look that much ability. I wish we had brains to do advanced stats to be able to discern exactly when it is the quarterback's fault because you guys get screwed. Like, Russell Wilson is a perfect example. He would get sacked a lot, but a lot of them weren't his offensive line's fault, it was him running into sacks.

I think after 5 seconds, it should be considered a tackle for loss.

Okay, I like that purely based on yeah, because there's no chance that you can block a guy from 5 seconds, right?

Yeah, I mean, it's like we watched Jalen Hurts or no, who was it? Lamar Jackson run around 10 seconds. He had 10 seconds. And then these DBS are supposed to cover for 10 seconds. That shouldn't be a completion against me.

You're right, we need to start doing this, seeing advanced analytics, our opinions on yeah, it's advanced analytics, but it's like.

The opinion it's just strictly the eye test that we give it, but we keep track of it. How many belong to the quarterback, how many belong to the O line.

Yeah, it's like the Sam Howe conversation we had this morning. I mean, Sam Howe is on record to be and everybody said this sam Howe is on record to break the sack record by a lot.

By a shitload.

But stick with me here. The Washington commanders, they are top five in the NFL with time before pressure, right? Which tells me that Sam Allen's just not fucking throwing the ball.

If you look at his sack numbers, the time in pocket before he gets sacked is astronomical. It's like one of the high. He spends more time in the pocket than any other quarterback in the NFL. All the other guys that are closely grouped in that position with him that spend like, I don't know, like three to 6 seconds before a sack occurs. They're some of the least sacked quarterbacks in the NFL because they're moving around, they're keeping their eyes down field. But Sam gets sacked a ton when he spends a long time in the pocket. So I kind of agree with you. It's not just the O line, it's the defense, too. The defense is can we talk about that the defense is not actually commanders might be America's team.

I'm thinking about it literally.

Yeah, they are. They are America's team. They used to be great a while ago, and everyone's lost faith in them. Guy named Harris, the guy that runs the show, is always asleep. Ron Rivera. Can we do something about Rivera? What is he doing? What is Rivera doing on the sidelines? Is he coaching?

I think he's coaching. I think he's dealing with personalities, probably like you see last week, jonathan Allen's frustrated.

I love that, though.

I love it, too. And I love it, too. And I've been in Jonathan Allen's shoes, and I can empathize with what he's going through. But I look at this defense, and they're forged from steel up front. They're a group that has way too much talent to be doing the things that they're doing, giving up the points that they're giving up. And I think a lot of it falls on Jack del Rio. You can't just have four guys and expect those four guys to get home. In this iteration of the NFL, you need to manufacture pressure year. You need to dial up blitzes. You need to put the pressure on the offense.

Yeah.

When we were blitzing a couple of weeks ago, it was working. We're getting home, we were putting pressure on him. And there are some times when that front four will get pressure. Like, Chase Young has been better.

This year, you're going to get home with him.

Montez Sweat is a great player. Jonathan Allen Payne, I think those guys are all very good players. I don't put the blame on them for this. I think that in the schemes that they're running, they're asking their rookie cornerback, Emmanuel Forbes, who's been benched now, to stand out there and cover elite guys one on one. And he's too aggressive to do that. If pressure isn't getting home, if a guy's, like, trying to jump a route, but your defensive end isn't going to get to the quarterback for another second, that's going to result in giving up 150 yards to AJ. Brown every single time. Yeah, it's just bad. It's bad on the defense.

Okay, so off of this dumb question, very dumb question. And you don't have to name names, but you've obviously been in a lot of locker rooms. When a coach has lost the locker room, is it something that every player says to each other, like, yeah, I think he's lost it. I think he's lost the locker room. Do you guys send a message around?

Yeah, I mean, where's the locker room?

Yeah. Anyone in the locker room? Underneath the couch? Locker room's on a milk cart.

I just saw John Fox looking around, lifting up rugs. I think he's trying to find the.

Locker know, there was too many to remember. Too many locker rooms.

The are you a locker room thief? Were you taking you're like the Bermuda Triangle of locker room.

I was like, the toilet that gets passed down through a shitty house that gets sold to another owner. I'm just like, yeah, you can shit on me. I'll be here.

Cal's got seven locker rooms over the course of his career.

Sit down. Yeah. You always, as a player, feel like you can win football games. I mean, regardless of how bad your team is, that's why they made a movie any given Sunday. It's real. I mean, that's real, but you can also feel like you have a coach that's going to put you in bad. I mean, it's tough. Playing in the NFL is tough. You have to have so many things right, from quarterback to line play to defense to the staff, and we just didn't get it right in Chicago for a long time. We had some things right.

Yeah. Pieces.

We had pieces, right. There were years where we had a great defense. There were years where we had an explosive offense, but we couldn't get complimentary.

Yeah, all that. I love complimentary football. It's my favorite.

And to your point, when you do get to that point in the season where you're like, we're fucked, it's like, who are we going to get?

Yeah, right.

You kind of get excited.

Yeah, right. Like, new faces.

We don't want to be the number.

One pick, but who are we going to get? Who are we going to get?

Do you get a little boost towards the end of the season if you know that the coach isn't coming back, where it's like, okay, now it's time to play for my job. Now I've got to go out there and I have to perform there. Can you feel that difference when guys start thinking about their own futures with the team as opposed to the team?

Every day in the NFL is an opportunity to invest in your future. I remember when Akeem Hicks first showed up to Chicago, and I was like I was doing the math. Like, Akeem Hicks, okay, this guy's a monster. I played him when he was in New Orleans and he was alone. I had to ice my neck for, like, three weeks. But he came to the building, and it became evident to me that practice wasn't going to be as easy for me. And I said, there's two ways I can go about this. I can challenge this motherfucker every day, and we can both get better, or I can just be the guy that brother in laws it in practice, and we're not going to get any better, and our team's definitely not going to get any better. Akeem and I made a decision to go at it every day. Our lock were right next to each other. We hated each other in practice, but when we got to the locker room, we shared a can of dip. We were buddies. I think that's the decision that all these guys in all these locker rooms. Have to make, like, I think about Denver and all these great players that they're potentially going to ship out.

Yeah.

And that's what I said. This is going to be a showcase game for those against the Chiefs.

Yeah.

This is a free agency tryout. This is a trade tryout.

Combine.

That's what the end of the season is. But it weighs on you when it happens every year, year after year.

Yeah. How sweet is it when you sign a big contract, though?

It's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

When you're sitting there eating your oatmeal.

And they're like, It's done.

Six year, $50 million. And the guy sitting next to you.

Is like, hi, buddy. That's you, buddy.

It makes all the shitty days worth it. But then you get your money and you're like, but we still can't win.

Still feel bad in the morning sometimes.

When you got the contract, did you cry?

I don't know if I cried. I was just juiced. I was just juiced. It was funny because it was after my third year, and the Bears, they don't extend people early. And I remember that's a good way to do business.

Jalen Johnson's going through that right now.

Yeah, pay that guy.

Yes.

Pay Jalen Johnson. Lose the orange sleeves. Pay Jalen Johnson. But I remember I had made three straight Pro Bowls. They had just moved me to tackle in my third year. And I was like, so the fuckery is beginning, right? You know what I mean? And I had a five year deal with a club option for a fifth year because I was a first rounder. And I remember my dad said to me, he was like, things are going great. You're doing awesome. You're blocking your ass off, but you got to get your deal done now. He was like, It's not about the big number. It's about the guaranteed number. Get it done now. And I remember being like, they've never done a deal. And my agent at the time, Marvin Demoff, did a great job and made it happen. And I remember we went to joint practice and practiced against the Patriots, and they had Jamie Collins, who at the time was the Akeem Hicks of linebackers. He's an ass kicker. And I remember Joey, our cap guy, was on the sideline with Pace before practice, before the week of practice, I walked up to him, and this was right when we were opening contract talks.

I walked up to Joey, I said, how much does he make? And he told me, I said, Fucking watch this. And the whole week I was like, just trying to find Jamie Collins.

Oh, my God.

And I got signed soon after that.

That's awesome.

But the point of this is you sign early and then you get hurt. You're still taken care of. If you don't sign early, then I could be looking at three straight Pro Bowls and just living on a rookie deal the rest of my life.

Right.

So kudos to my dad, who had the foresight to be like, no, get it done.

He's a smart guy.

Do guys ever look sideways at a teammate that's holding out, that's making a big deal in the media about their contract? Or is it usually just like, hey, we understand the business we're in. We'll support a guy.

Yeah.

It'd be great to have him out.

Here practicing with us.

I don't really remember anybody holding out.

No. And it does seem like the one thing that all the players are aligned with every locker room is like, never talk about someone else's money. Leave.

Yes. Stay out of the it happened a.

Little bit in Kansas City, though, with Chris Jones this year.

Yeah. Remember that? Yeah.

Well, I wasn't there for that, but I think everybody in that locker room understands that Chris Jones is the reason for the season on defense. They're like, hey, whatever Sac Nation wants, Sac Nation gets, and he got it, and he's come back. He's had a sack in every game.

His name's sack Nation.

That's like he's the commander of oh.

I like Sack Nation.

I thought that was because his ball sack ruptured through.

It would be the team.

Yeah. Did you have a problem with that? With that, Kyle?

Mine doesn't hang.

Yours didn't never broke through a pair.

Of I hear the word flop a lot, and I'm like, where it was.

Cold in that locker room.

AC works in Washington. But I got to know it's frustrating. And we did the episode. I remember I called you, and I was like, guys, we got to do an episode.

I got to get in front of you.

Literally, I felt so proud that we had made it to a point where it's like, if a dick accidental dick pick comes out, we are the PR team. Was that what it was that I saw? All right, we got to get our crack our aces on this. We're going to call BFT and Big Cat.

I mean, that's awful. I mean, think about it, though. It's like you're one Google away from seeing a stack of nickels. I think about all the people that never wore compression shorts, never sweat through a pair of pants, never ran around for 4 hours.

Yeah, you had athlete dick.

I'm no world beater, but I will.

Say, yeah, that was bad angle poor. That's one thing I think a lot.

Of women don't understand is at any given moment of any given day, your penis can fluctuate wildly.

Yes. Right now, I'm a Tic TAC right now, sitting and talking to you.

I think I'm an indoor animal.

Can you just announce our dick sizes of the given moment?

I actually think I'm having a good dick moment right now.

I wore the wrong jeans for a good dick moment.

Bugsy jeans actually help with that.

Yeah, they do. They do.

They get a nice cradle on page.

Jeans needs to fix their cocksage.

I have a question about podcasting life, because obviously you and your brother doing a great job. Green Light PFT and I have both been on multiple times. Awesome podcast. Maybe not exactly about the podcast, but you guys are playing in a softball league. You won. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. If I was playing in, like, adult men's softball and the Long brothers show up and you're just ripping we're effort guys.

We're not athletes.

But you were ripping balls down the line. Big lefty hitter.

Didn't you get drafted by the MLB?

Yeah. White Sox.

You just said we're not athletes.

I was a pitcher.

You were a professional.

Baseball, the one thing they don't let me do in softball is throw hard. And I was a left handed through 97. So I'm like, I'm playing one handed out here.

Have there been moments where guys have been like, wait, this is not what I signed up for?

No, because if you're from an area like Virginia, you understand that baseball is one of those things that everybody plays. And if you're not playing lacrosse, you have a baseball bat in your hand. And there's a lot of skilled dudes, and I don't know if you know about this, about softball, but I mean, there's kind of a ceiling to the shit.

You can sure, it's true. The old guy who knows where to place the ball can be when you're.

Playing a team with a bunch of roofing shirts and baseball pants, you're like, we could be in trouble here today.

Right?

When six of the wives are behind the home plate smoking cigs, you're like, These guys are good dude.

It's always when the opposing team has, like, a whole posse there, and it's the biggest point of their week.

I remember prime time.

Yeah. When we would play and it would be like, oh, shit, they got a cooler. They got kids. There like, these people. This is their day.

09:00, 1st pitch. There's babies, right?

You're always in trouble. Yeah.

Some of the wives have just, like, a little bit of face paint underneath their eyes, like their mom's at the.

Little World Series when they show up. You don't invite your whole family out.

If you suck at my father in law came one time, and I was like, I can't wait to we went and played golf that day, and I was like, Well, I didn't hit it well at golf. I can't wait till you see me hit a softball. You know what I mean? It's way different. It's great. I hit it every time. I think I grounded out twice and had two infield pop flies. He was like, you guys aren't very good. I'm a firm believer in don't bring your fucking family because you lie about it.

Yeah, right. I crushed it today.

How is your golf game going? I've seen some did you quit?

I quit.

What made you quit.

I reached out to Frankie Borrelli about playing in the Barstool Classic, and it was just I got ghosted.

That's bullshit, Frank.

That's the pinnacle of my career will be potentially losing some balls in the Barstool Classic.

Would you make a comeback if Frankie, by the grace of God, permitted you to play?

Yeah, I might have to go through, like, rigs or yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, we're going to have a simulator here, and you're going to.

Be back, so I'm a simulator golfer. That's what I am. You're always ten steps from a refrigerator. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

There's a lot of things you can have in the SIM that'll make your day a lot more enjoyable.

Are you still race car driving?

I do. I do some of the simulator stuff on I racing.

It's a lot of fun.

I haven't done it as much. Dad life has taken some of those hours.

Yeah. You really feel like a shithead when you are playing video games as a dad, and you're like and I do.

Feel like a shithead.

Yeah, real shithead. Real shithead.

I feel bad in my airplane simulator when Blake is in the next room, just whining at me like he wants to play, and I'm like, I can't. I'm being a bad dog.

How is Blake?

He's huge. He's, like, 60 pounds now, almost six months old.

Your size.

That's nice. That's funny. It's funny. Actually, take that as a compliment, because I've been feeling kind of fat recently.

Really?

Yeah, I've been feeling you don't look fat. Thank you. I appreciate that. But the shirtless picture of us me, Big Cat, and Jersey Jerry behind Max on the couch came out. There's just a lot of unflattering angles. You know how the Internet is.

Yeah.

They're mean it happens.

It's vest season for guys with yeah.

Layers. Sweatshirt season. It's my favorite day of the year. When that temperature drops, you're like, oh.

You won't see even if I'm sweating.

Yeah.

I'll keep the vest.

Yeah. You won't see the contours of my body for six months.

Nope.

This rules. Yeah. All right, last question. This has been awesome. Kyle, you're the best. You will be back a few also. Well, I guess this is going to come out after, but when Kyle does come, he's going to stream with us as well. So we're going to watch Thursday Night Football together.

We should ask him that. So what's your official prediction for Thursday Night Football?

Oh, the Bills are going to I.

Mean, this is going out after.

Bills are going to win at home. The bills won.

If it's going out after they already.

Won, the Bills won dominated without Ed Oliver. I think Ed Oliver is not playing.

Okay.

As first reported by.

I mean yeah, the Bills are going to win.

Okay.

Josh and those guys can't look the way they've looked for a number of.

Three weeks in a row. No. Yeah.

Just can't happen.

All right, last question. Rowback question. Rho, Bac.com, promo code take. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything. Rowback.com, promo code take. So tell me if I'm stupid. The Dolphins have a game against the Patriots this week. They have a game against the Chiefs next week. The dolphins are on Fraud watch week. Put them on fraud watch. Is there such a thing as a look ahead game in the NFL? I know it exists in college if.

There ever was one. It's going to be this one for Miami, who's got to travel across an ocean and play against the best team in the world.

Right.

So I would say yes. But the issue with Dolphins is just be patient. Take what the defense has given you. Don't try to do too much because, you know, New England's going to be laying in.

I just I love those spots. I mean, college, it really does work every single time. If you just like, oh, they got a big game next week. Okay, cool. I'm going to fade them this week. Yeah, but it's too much buttoned up professionalism in the NFL. Then I'll have look ahead games.

Yeah. I mean, you're reminded too much of what the task is at hand.

Right. So that college coaches need to do that more. I also just love fading a college team after they have a big win because you just know they're going to party.

Colorado.

Yeah.

Did you ever go overseas?

Yeah, I did. I got fired on my way back from London.

What do you mean?

I played like shit. And I had to sit across from Nags and his wife and they were essentially like, is it the Raiders game? Yeah. Hey, I'm going to pee my pants. Can I go pee?

Really? Yeah. All right, well, we're ending the interview. Kyle Long, the best. Yeah, you started moving and I was like, the only problem is we don't know where the bathrooms are because this office oh, yeah.

You have to go, like, around.

Shane, get him to a bathroom. Kyle Long, everyone. Thank you. So. Yeah, Kyle.

Thanks, Kyle.

I think he's going to pee himself. Today's Fire Fest segment is sponsored by our friends at Morgan and Morgan. Did you know people aged 25 to 34 have the highest amount of drivers involved in car crashes? If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Covering a spread in the NFL is hard, but guess what? Using Morgan and Morgan isn't. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers, with over 15 billion recovered for over 300,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. Morgan and Morgan has been fighting for the people for over 35 years. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy. Entertaining clients can be hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. Big cat.

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I've been hungover since Monday. Although I did I went to a blackhawks game. I've been kind of weaning myself off and by weaning myself off, it's just like having a few beers every night. So I'm not just dead.

That's the right strategy. We're at the weekend.

Friday. We're at the weekend. That's why I was giving myself till.

Yeah, next week. So let's talk about it real quick, Hank, because I feel like you've had this before you turned 30 this summer. It's a bitch. Yeah, it's a bitch when you drink for a full weekend and then you don't feel normal until like thursday afternoon. Yeah.

I mean, these were my two best friends getting married. So they're late nights with the boys, travel mixed in the middle of it. And then obviously with the new offices and stuff, there's been a lot going all Monday. All just I was just in a still kind of a you do have.

The only cure for it.

Max cured me. I mean, there was a lot, a lot of good stuff happening, though, like Max and the Phillies losing. I was disappointed. Kind of like content wise. I was like, yes, this content's so good. I'm happy for us.

The maxiwana we got so high up.

The maxiwana. We hot box this.

This office is amazing. Being here finally is amazing. Obviously there's a lot to come but that's all exciting stuff.

We're going to come.

We're going to come hard.

It's come already.

A little bit. We come. It's like pre. It is really a dream.

It's unreal. We're so close and we're not going to say we're so close but so far. But once everything is fully done and.

Finished, we're going to be golf simulator going in on Monday.

Buzing.

Yeah.

Hank's going to be working so hard in the golf simulator.

So hard. I'm so excited.

So excited. Going to masson this weekend. Super excited about that.

What are you doing tomorrow, Hank?

Probably going to come here for a little bit.

And then what?

Maybe golf oh, yeah.

Wait, but what month are we in?

It's October.

It's September. September was a no golf month.

No, I know, but we were doing once the office opens, we're, like, working so that way we can golf on Fridays in the summer. Except for the one Friday you owe us for week seven.

Office isn't open.

Where are we sitting right now?

Half of the office isn't open. We can't produce content from the office.

Besides this podcast, except for this.

If you guys want to come record tomorrow, I'm down.

Okay, great. What time? 09:00. A.m. I was thinking more like 202:00.

Hank will be busy at that.

Good luck at your golf game.

Thank you.

Yeah. Good little golf game.

Don't be me.

Are you golfing with them? I did it. Yeah.

Hank and I are playing Quick 18.

Exactly.

We'll get some content out of it, and then yeah.

Wow.

My next fire fest. Just the sentence itself is what I realized is the true fire fest. As a 30 year old. I don't have a Halloween costume.

Yeah. Wait, where are you going? To Halloween.

I got invited to a Halloween party. Donnie's, I got invited to a Halloween party.

Shit. I got invited. Not really. Like, someone else told me about it.

But I kind of want to go. But you also can't go to a Halloween party without a Halloween costume. But also like, I don't want I.

Got an idea for Harry Potter. No, similar. Max, you still got those overalls? I could read it in your fucking face.

You were like, I have an idea.

I could see in the side of your eyes. A great idea. Great idea. That is a great max, we're going to need those overalls, buddy.

You're crazy if you don't think I.

Threw those out the second all right.

Can we get max, we're going to need your fucking big jumbo pants.

No, you're not getting shit.

I'm just going to look up.

You just showed up, and I look ridiculous.

Philly's, overalls, nothing is working.

I can get the wig. Throw some pigtails in there.

You should do it and just scream and cry and say you're not crying, but cry. Yeah, that's a great idea. Great idea. That's fire fest cured. All right, great bullshit.

I knew.

Okay, PFD your fire. Look at what I do for you. My fire fest.

Well, we know one of them, which is a telephone pole hit my car. The other fire fest is similar in that I'm having a bad week in parking lots in general. So there was that incident that happened on Tuesday. On Monday, there's a McDonald's next to my house. I like to stop in sometimes, get a little MC cafe going in the morning, maybe get a McMuffin, get a steak, egg and cheese biscuit sometimes. Oh, I love the sauce of McGriddle. Yeah, really good. I'm like Jerry Jones. I pour extra salt on it. But I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car in what I thought was a McDonald's parking spot because it's in a McDonald's parking lot. Turns out the McDonald's parking lot is shared with, I think, another local business, and I was not allowed to park my car there. I went into the store, got my meal, came out, and there was a giant boot on my car. They booted my car in the, like, five minutes I was inside. Yes.

Shit.

Was this after the accident?

No, it's before the accident. So I see the boot on the car, right? And there's a security guy, or he's dressed in a uniform that looks like a police uniform, and he just hands me a slip of paper, and it says, like, do not move your car. Call this number. And the guy just turns around, gets into his car, and drives away. And I was like, hey, how do I get this boot off my car? Like, I got places to be. I'm a mover and a shaker, right? How do I get out of this parking lot right now? And he just looks at me, doesn't respond, chooses to not respond, gets in his car, and drives away. I get into an uber to go to the office, and I call the number, and the person on the other end says, yeah, there was supposed to be a second guy in that parking lot that you can pay to get your boot off, right?

What a scam.

And I'm like, Wait, what? Because the first guy just got into his car, and either he is unable to speak, or he just chose not to speak to me and left. And they're like, no, you can pay it on site. So I go back, and the second person came up, and I was like, what's going on here? Why can't I move my car? How'd you boot? He's like, yeah, you're not supposed to park here. There's a sign over there in the corner that says you're not supposed to park here.

In the space or in the corner?

The sign is in the corner. It's not on the space.

That's crazy.

The sign says, from this point to that point, you can't park here. And it's like, almost an intentionally small sign. So I asked the guy. I'm like, so how can I get this? And he's like, well, I can take your payment right now. And I thought the whole time that this was, like, chicago parking police, it's not. It's like a private company that does instead of doing a tow truck, it's a tow truck business that didn't want to have to pay money for a tow truck, right? They just got, like, one boot that they just put on people's cars. They're like, hey, you owe me $150 to take this boot off. So I pay the guy $150, get the boot off, and I'm able to drive away. I'm still, like, 50%, thinking it's just a scam. And these people weren't even supposed to be there, and they just show up to parking lots and do this. But they got my money. I need to make sure that they don't steal any more of my money, because I did pay. They also wanted to see my driver's license, and I don't know why not. The police needed to see my driver's license.

Sounds like a scam.

Sounds like I might have gotten hosed on this one.

Sounds like you might have gotten I just scanned.

I gave him your card information and all of your name and address.

I swiped my card. It's the New York address. I still haven't changed. It'll be a good eight years before I change my ID again. I just got a New York ID, so I probably got scammed. Either that or it's just a crock of shit and wasted entire morning trying.

To deal with shit.

But, yeah, I'm having a bad week in parking lots. I need to stay out of parking lots. Yeah, you do the rest probably of my entire life.

That sucks. Yeah.

Quite a fire fest.

Shit. Okay.

How are they allowed to do that? They're just allowed to scam walk up to your car and be like, sorry, you can't drive it anywhere.

Now.

I'm sure if you were, like, a lawyer and could hit him with some.

Information morgan and Morgan.

Yeah. You could probably get them to take it off for free, but you'd have to do a lot of haggling a lot of lawyering.

Yeah.

Am I insane to think that I could pass the bar exam?

Yes. Without studying? Yes.

That's probably irrational confidence thing because I'm good at taking tests. What type of questions?

Very hard.

Logic. It's not logic. Yeah, it's very hard. I did two sample questions, and I got them both right.

Is it just, like, multiple choice, like crime or no?

Yes.

Crime or no murder. Yeah.

Is it a crime?

Find $1,000 on the ground, get it, give it back. Yeah.

Good answer.

Yeah.

No, I think if I did a bar exam, I could pass all of it except for the essay part.

Your trigger.

Yeah, but it's so many PNP. I'm pretty sure what?

I'm pretty sure the test is 50 50.

No, it's like, four multiple choice answers.

No, I'm saying how it's weighted the scoring. Like, half of it is multiple choice, and half is essay, so essays.

Yeah. You'd very bad at the essay.

Yeah, I don't want to do the essay part because that requires a lot of detailed explanation of my thoughts, but.

I'm good at cite a bunch of cases.

I'm good at reading a test question and figuring out what they're trying to ask me, then answering it. Like, I'm good at not studying. People study for the bar.

Like, they lock themselves in a library.

For, like yeah, but they might be overthinking it. I think PFT is right.

Yeah.

People who go to law school don't.

Yeah, it's like a lot of people yeah, they waste their money. I could pass it right now.

I don't think so. I don't know, but I like the confidence. I mean, there's also no way to prove that you're wrong.

Do you become a lawyer if you pass the bar exam?

People don't go to medical school and they save lives all the time.

Yeah, that's true.

CPR.

CPR. You know CPR?

I know of it, yep.

Okay. That's a fact. Okay. My fire fest. Big Cat.

Could you coach an NFL game right now?

Not well.

Yeah, I could be a terrible lawyer, right?

No, but no, but you're saying passing a test, like, if I had to pass a test of coaching an NFL game, I would fail.

I've watched enough SVU, I think, to pass the bar exam. That's what I'm getting at here.

Okay. What are you guys shaking your heads at?

Max thought he was joking about the bar. I said no. PFD's been talking about this for weeks. He really thinks he can pass it.

He could.

The multiple choice part. So then take it. Okay, if you're talking about it for multiple weeks, then take it.

I'll do it.

I'm going to get signed up.

No, you won't.

It's also, like, two full days.

No.

Just going to be Morgan and Commentary soon enough.

No, you have to do the whole thing. You can't say only the multiple choice part.

That's what I just said, though. I could not pass the written part.

But that's part of the bar. Correct.

But I could pass the multiple choice part.

I could get 200 points on the SATS. Yeah, but that's not doing well on the SATS.

My entire argument is that I think I'm delusional. I understand that I'm probably wrong, but I have a rational confidence that I could pass the multiple choice part.

You're a good writer.

Don't sell yourself short.

But it's like open ended questions. I would just turn it back on them. I'd be like, this question is illegitimate. You have no authority to ask me these questions because I do not recognize you as the bar exam administrator.

Yeah, I don't have the slightest clue what type of questions could be asked.

I have no fucking idea.

I'm looking it up now. I think written is only 30%.

That's a passing grade.

But you would have to go perfect. It's 200 multiple choice questions.

Okay. Ready? A man is sitting on a beach chair peacefully and in a relaxed, meditative state when a truck racing on the sand ran down a sunbathing. Elderly person. The man said out loud, oh, God, look what the truck driver did. The man driving that truck was racing and going about 100 mph. Someone called 911. A woman who is sitting on the beach nearby but facing the other way heard the man's outcry.

See?

When the case comes to a trial, will the court allow both the. Man and the woman to testify about the man's utterances? Yes. Both the man and women. And man can testify because it is an excited, utterance exception to the hearsay rule that goes to the material issue of the case. Yes. Because this is not hearsay and it is not being entered for the truth of the statement by either witness. So they can both testify? No, neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed for his meditation. The woman cannot repeat the utterance of an impaired witness? No, neither can testify because the utterance do not fit any of the exceptions to the hearsay rule. Or no, neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed.

I want to say that one, but I don't think that's the right answer. Okay. I'm going to say, yeah, neither of them wrong.

Okay. See? A.

Okay.

PFC.

The last Tuesday and Wednesday.

But that's one of 70. Exactly.

I could go 69 for 70 the.

Last Tuesday and Wednesday in February and July.

Okay. All right.

Illinois bar exam.

All right. A small town police officer pulled over a driver for speeding. He believed that the driver was acting irritable and fidgety, but he had no articulable reason to think anything was wrong. He searched the car anyway and found two cartons of freshly canned peaches which were owned by the driver's neighbor and reported stolen off reports 24 hours earlier. Authorities charged him with theft under the state criminal code. His motion to suppress the evidence because of an unlawful search was denied on appeal with the appellate court. Likely reversed the lower court decision denying the motion to suppress. Yes, because a search warrant was unconstitutional constitutional. Due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car. Yes. Because when a car is pulled over for speeding, the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search. No, the stop and search were within the normal bounds of proprietary for a speeding stop. No, because driver being fidgety is enough for a probable cause full search of the vehicle.

How relaxed was this? This one's pretty easy. This is A or B. It's A or B. No, it's not, because the driver did not can you read me A and B again?

Yes, because the search was unconstitutional due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car. Yes, because when a car is pulled over for speeding, the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search.

It's A, because he can also search the car if the driver gives him consent to search the car. So I don't know if the guy gave him consent.

A?

I'm going to say A, but I don't recall any point in that question.

You're right about consent. Yeah.

There we go.

There we go.

I'm one for one in my last one.

You're one for two.

One for one in my last one.

All right, last one. Okay. A pet breeder is in the business of breeding calves at his cattle ranch, where he has a stable of prolific cows who are very fertile. The newborn calves need constant attention and care. One day, one of the employees inadvertently leaves the fence door open and a newly born calf breaks free and goes to his neighbor's land. The breeder went to the neighbor's land to retrieve the calf for its safety and to make sure it was unharmed. However, he was arrested on a trespass charge after entering the land. The breeder appealed. Will the court dismiss this charge? Yes. Because he had a limited privilege to enter the land to prevent harm to his cattle. Yes, because the tender pet doctrine allows temporary entry to retrieve baby animals. That's a pretty specific doctrine. No, because the neighbor had a right to keep any living chattels that crossed onto his it says Chattels. I don't know what that is.

Yeah, it's a livestock okay.

That crossed onto his land. No, because his status as a breeder made him unqualified for a limited license.

Okay, so I think this one is also A or B. I think you're within your rights to retrieve your wandering livestock. Might be A. Hesy hay with the it might be B because B was, I think, a very specific one.

Pet doctrine.

Yeah, I'm going to go with B A. Okay, well, that was a hesitant one for three.

One for three.

Well, I narrowed that one down to right.

One for three is not passing.

I was technically what do you have.

To get to pass.

Better than one for three?

Listen, I'm not here to be a farm lawyer. I'm here to be a cool lawyer.

I think we should actually what we should do is you should take it. We could see if we take it and I'll read all the answers on live stream and let people guess. Yeah, that sounds good. Let's just do a subathon PFT takes the Bar.

You can do it during the 24 hours.

Yeah, well, let's see.

The thing is, I want to be able to read the that's part of.

Yeah, no, you're right.

To deduce the test and what they're asking you're.

Right, but we could set it that people can see the question while you're reading it.

266 out of 400.

I'll take it during the 24 hours stream.

Wait, I only have to get 266 out of 400?

Right. That's so many questions.

Oh, I could do this, especially if I studied for it.

Yeah, but so many questions.

I took the SATS. I literally blacked out halfway through and just did CCCS. I could not sit still for that.

Wait, firm declaration is you could pass the bar. Multiple choice portion only.

Yeah, if I studied, I could definitely do it.

Okay.

And then I'd be all your lawyers.

Well, no, because you sue everybody.

I'd sue everyone.

The multiple choice. You could be a lawyer, but every piece of advice you give has to be in multiple choice.

Yeah, I'd ask the objection, Your Honor. Can you rephrase?

Why am I objecting? A, can the witness rephrase? Because I didn't pass the full bar.

Witness rephrase to ABCD or E? All the above.

Yeah.

This is the best Morgan and Morgan.

Segment we've ever done.

It is. It is. All right. My fire fest, I haven't been so we've been doing a shitload of stuff. Haven't been sleeping. Tuesday night, we got home after we all smoked that maxiwana, and it was fucking good. And I went to bed. So every time I get home, Stella is sleeping in my spot, and I put her in her dog bed next to me on the floor. And all of a sudden, four times, middle of night. So I went to sleep at one. I get up at 634 times in that time frame. The TV just turned on, and I couldn't figure it out. And I have a remote on my phone, so I kept on turning it off. So I literally, like, I'd fall asleep, get in deep sleep. TV would turn on. What the fuck?

You have ghost?

Well, no. I woke up the next morning and I was like, Stella, you're ready to go out? And she got up, and the remote was literally under her ass. So every time she moved. So I just didn't sleep that night. Not her fault. My fault. But that sucked.

That's the worst when you're behind on sleep and then you're expecting a particular night to be an awesome night of sleep.

Right. Full eight.

And then it just doesn't happen.

I don't know what a full eight means. I haven't gotten full eight. Long time.

You haven't been fullated?

I've not been fillated in a long time. My other fire fest is we're going to Madison this weekend. Oh, go. Anyone who wants to come to the live show, it's going to be an awesome time. It is 04:30 p.m.. Kickoff is at 630, so you got more than enough time. Ten North Charter Street. It is a ten minute walk to Camp Randall, so come out. It's going to be awesome. But, boys, I believe that the Badgers are going to upset and shock the world. And I know that this is how it happens to me, where there's no reason for me to believe this other than the fact that ready for this? Jake, 20 years ago this month, a freshman big cat stormed the field when Wisconsin, as I think a double digit underdog, beat number three, Ohio State. 20 years later, a double digit underdog is playing number three, Ohio State.

Wow.

Yeah. So I'm going to get crushed.

And what happened the last time you went to Madison for an athletic event?

We want to share the Big Ten Championship.

What did you do afterwards?

I stormed the field, one and only.

Your last one storms.

Yeah. So this is the problem, though, because I don't think they're actually going to win, but I'm going to work myself into a frenzy and being like, yeah, it's going to happen. What if it does? It's going to be incredible. Hank, do you want to get it's? Halloween night, game camp Randall vibes are great. Luke Fickle was on the other sideline that night telling Robert Reynolds to choke Jim Sorghi out. I don't know if Luke Fickle actually did that. Destiny. It's destiny. Hank, do you want to get a quick pump in when we get to Madison? Sure. Strength and conditioning coach asked us. Yeah. Okay.

I mean, I did test off till Tuesday, but I can break pump.

Yeah, quick pump. Let's get juiced up. It's squattober. Yeah, just do some squats. Yeah. Okay. Jake, your fire fest. Yeah.

This is pretty well documented, but we haven't talked about it on the show yet. When you guys took your shirts off the other day, I was very uncomfortable. It brought me back to my days of shirts versus skins where I prayed. I was on shirts, and it was jake, you had it in the corner.

You had the best visual out of all of us.

No, it was bad, too, for people don't know the picture. It's on our Twitter streams. Yeah, on our streams. I don't know if we could put it in the YouTube. Whatever. It's late, so I'm not going to make everyone do more editing. But Jake, I've never seen a person sitting while also running away. Yeah, and that's what he was doing. He was running away while sitting.

And the amount of tweets I got like, take your shirt off. You're the reason the Phillies lost.

You are.

I apologize to Max because the last two players to get out were named.

Jake and oh, yeah, that's right. My God.

So between that and the shirt, it really was my fault. I said he could blame me.

You made the right choice, though, because with those couches, there's no good angle.

You can possibly also, like, I didn't get sucked up into the peer pressure.

You didn't cave. Yeah. You're your own man getting sucked up in the peer pressure rules.

Especially when it's tarps.

Yeah. Like, whenever it's like, oh, if your friend tells you to jump off a bridge, we do it. Yeah. If everyone is what football game was.

That last year where just a couple of guys took their shirts off and by the end of the game, the entire section was filled? It was like Indiana deck with dudes with their shirts.

Yeah, indiana. Indiana. Yeah. I mean, peer pressure gets a bad rap. Like, peer pressure kind of rocks because it means, like, all your friends, peers probably having fun. Yeah. They're like, hey, do this fun thing with us. Drugs, whatever. And you're like, oh, no, I don't want to get sucked yeah, I do. And I'm going to have fun with you guys.

Normally I wouldn't, but since you asked yeah, right.

Peer pressure is a us thing. Rules.

I just kind of got caught up situation. It is cool getting caught up in yeah, yeah.

Getting peer pressured into something. Yeah. But you won't do it.

It's also nice. Like standing standing your ground.

No.

That is a law in Florida. Yes, it is.

Jake, you're back.

Castle doc. Lawyer okay, good show, boys. We will see everyone Sunday night. We watching the Bears beat the Chargers. Yeah, it could happen live while we record. Hank, have you ever gotten this? No.

Dan, have you?

Why do you do that? Just say no. Just say no and be all mad.

Lawyer one on one.

Objection. Redirect. Answer a question with the question numbers.

18 1727. Some guy gave it to me outside the Laugh factory last night. Eight. Memes. Just getting three. No. What was your number? Take 20.

But I wanted to take memes.

Shane.

Now I'm stuck. Is Shane picking fucked up? Yeah, Shane fucked up.

Shane and Evan are in the part of my balls category.

Okay. What'd? Shane, take ten. Memes.

I'm stuck.

69.

Okay, say your numbers again real quick.

817.

27.

69.

Three is going to hit 18. Max has 20. Shane is 1020. I can see 20 just from underneath.

Sequence.

Those balls are really flying.

Well, you have to press it so.

It'S like the tension rises. Here we go.

41. Let's do 140 plus. Let's do one more. Let's just do one more count.

Okay, but we have to count. But we have to stop doing two after tonight.

Okay, we'll do three.

I'm going to go eight again.

I'll go 27 again. Counts. Officially counts. We're working. The new ball changing.

Is anyone 20?

No.

69.

All right. Evan. Oh, yeah, we didn't have Evan. Evan. 28, 28, 28. All right. Ten. 827. 17. 1828. And then what was memes 69. Off meme. 70. So close. Okay, we'll see everyone Monday. Love you guys.

Talking away.

Today'S a my day to find you shine away I'll be coming for your lover for your love of love of I take me up I don't say I want it away say after me it's a better to be safe. It's all better to be safe. It's all to be safe on me. Take me out.