On today's part of my take, we have NFL week two, I almost said three, my brain is melting. Don't do that. Don't skip ahead. It was an incredible, incredible Sunday, incredible weekend of football, incredible weekend of sports, sports, soul back. Holy shit. It was wall to wall when to talk about all of it. We are actually in Philadelphia right now for the new barstool sports book apps we do not have done on this week.

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Today is Monday, September 21st, week two.

There's some stores in this house. This, of course, in this house.

We start in Dallas where Big D stands for big demeanor. The Falcons want to gag, want to choke is the Dirty Birds did their best to crash and burn in the fourth quarter and can't Calvin Ridley themselves from the curse of Arthur Blank. Jerry Jones said, When I ride this Dak, I'ma spell my name on his paychecks as Prescott led the boys back for an unbelievable win. And the Falcons season is no now riding dirty in a hadyn hearse that's right there.

Dead teenage cowboys 40, Falcons 39.

There are some scores in this house.

This scores in this house, apparently, where Jonathan Taylor Thomas laid the hammer on the Vikings defense. And Kirk Cousins, number eight, my ass, he's a bottom feeder. Minnesota said if I don't hang, then he can't back. You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain. And the Vikings were a glutton for punishment. On Sunday, the deforestation of the Amazon Bucknor had a few strips, sacks, Brazilian waxes and generous. I closed the ceiling on Minnesota season courts.

Twenty five Vikings.

I love it. There's some scores in this house.

This scores in this house in Chicago where giant Khalil Mack truck got all up in Daniel Jones garage. Orange haired Jason Garrett's head game was fire, making it clap on the sidelines, but not much else. The Bears offense said to Joe Judge, Your Honor, I'm a freak, Mitch. Handcuffs, leashes, spank the Giants defense. Hold on. Is that a dog? Massee What's wrong? Masae, you just caught a ball on third down to seal the win in the Giants season stuck in a well.

Oh, the Bears are no longer the doormat naggy of the NFC North winning 1713.

Here's some scores in this house of scores in this house. We head south to Tampa Bay, where Tom Brady is a certified free seven days a week and the Bucks are making that pull out game week because reports of Tom Fanfics demise came way too quick.

Yeah, yeah. You bucket with someone as pussy. Leonard Nimoy Fernet made the live long and prosper sign and put two in the pink and two in the sticky end zone. Bruce Springsteen Arians. We'll have the media back on his side this week as the offense looks. Bogerud buck thirty one. I think there's some scores, solstices scores in the south, in the frozen tundra where the cheese heads are stirring up things in the NFC like macaroni in a pot.

Aaron the stallion Jones said the lions pushy defense is wild.

Come, let me run a dive balling out for one hundred and sixty eight yards and two touchdowns. Matt Patricia Arquette is officially flirting with disaster as his head coaching career may not make it out of boyhood packers. Forty two Lions twenty one. There's some scores in this house. The deaths of scores in this house in Nashville, where Mike Vrabel is not afraid to let her hop on top to a keg. Oh, he's inside. And break it off for a chance on a Super Bowl.

Cordner Two and a half. Minshew has that tiger blood coursing through his veins, leading the Jaguars to a second half comeback, only to see it go up in smoke with our Late Game by Harold and Kumar Landry. The Titans are Gostkowski in the first place.

Thirty three thirty does some scores in this house of scores in the South to the City of Brotherly Love, where Sean McVay said, I need a heavy drinker, I need a weed smoker. But sorry, Rams and Eagles fans, Chris Long isn't walking through that door. Daryl Hall and Oates Henderson had the Eagles defense out of touch, man, eating his way to eighty one yards and a touchdown. Johnny Carson Wentz used to look good in prime time, but now he's dead.

Too soon. Boom Rams they roll in thirty seven nineteen. Yes, scores in this. There's some scores in this state of Pennsylvania where TJ Webb put that pressure on Drew lock down as the Broncos tried to win by grinding on that Vic Fangio defense the motorcycle by Man Bend but don't break. Roethlisberger kept his foot on the gas as the Steelers don't have a lot guard blunt in their backfield anymore. But I do have a LeBron. James Connor Jr. to smoke the opposing defenses, Steller's, 26, the Broncos 21, some Simshauser in this house, this in this out to L.A., where Mahomes may love catch up.

But Andy Reid likes to pussy with a one just like Pat's credit Boldon spicy boom. Justin Timberlake herbut got dressed up after suit and Tyrod Taylor was ruled out MILF Hunter. Henry tried to take it to the housewife, but it was Harrison. You could put it in my bucker who ended up splitting the uprights and winning the game. Twenty three, twenty six goals and a goal in this house.

And we finish in Houston where JJ WOF and Deshaun Watson were no match for opera singer Justin Tucker, who had the dangly thing in the back of his throat wiggling around all afternoon. Ingram the second baby mark to toe doctor to do talk to Titans then and put them to bed with a fourth quarter Schapper. People are starting to wonder if below Bryan Cranston is getting high on his own supply after training DeAndre Hopkins and losing to the Baltimore Ravens to go to.

I went to the Ravens. Thirty three. The Texans six seven.

Oh right. And week two is in the box. We still actually have the Raiders opening their new stadium, the big what is called the big rumor. You know, the bay looks like a Roomba. Yes. Fixing a Roomba from hell. It does look sweet on a little. It does little the desert.

Drew Brees probably breaks sixteen new records on Monday night, but week two in the books. Unbelievable. This last week, we were back.

But this week is when it was like, holy shit, chaos everywhere, some insane endings and the beginning of new narratives.

You never know what the narrative is going to be after week one. Now we are starting to get clued in and we have some takes.

OK, so we'll have some new narrative alerts. We, by the way, we have so we're in Philadelphia right now. New barstool sports book app. If you didn't see, we invented a new bet called the HANDSON, which was just betting the over of all the points scored on Sunday. It won. It crushed. So we're in Philly. That's right. We don't have Deonna on this week. When we're in Philly, we're not going to have Deonna on because it's hard to Skype and do all that will have him on next week.

But we will be recapping every game. And of course, we're going to start with the Sunday night game, which was a classic Patriots lose the Seahawks. Thirty five thirty.

So, Hank, you walked upstairs because because you were you were watching downstairs on a live stream and you were like, I'm not so upset about that loss because we were in that game and losing to Russell Wilson at home. It's not like something that you can be ashamed of where we are also down to scores in the fourth quarter.

Like it didn't really seem like it was it wasn't a game that they blew. Like they came back. They fought. Russell Wilson's unbelievable. Cam Newton played well. Patriots defense is banged up and like half their players opted out. Yeah, they didn't play well, but I thought the game was good. I thought the like the Patriots were very promising.

Yeah, I was very I would watch the game. I would watch these two teams play every single week.

Yes. Just the matchup in general, just like the names that you have on either side of the game, like delivered on all that hype. It was an awesome game.

And yeah, Cam Newton looks good. He looks healthy well.

But he also looks he he threw the ball. He had to throw the ball like, you know, week one. He ran it fifteen times this. And everyone was saying, well, what happens if they're down?

That kind of answer that question. Julian Edelman, certified deep threat still gets open to Julian Edelman was exhausted at the game, just like picking himself up off the ground.

He looked like he was ready to puke on the field. Yeah, but yeah, he played really well.

Is Cam Newton too healthy? Might be the question you might want to ask yourself, because everyone knew was coming on that last play, right. And you knew that Cam was going to run it and they were able to stop and get into the backfield on it.

Cam Newton, if he maybe has like a little he has absolutely no hesitation.

Running the ball or passing the shoulder looks really, really good right now.

They should have run the Tebow. They should have also just run a straight ahead, I don't know, like, you know, running it to the side like that with that little delay. I know worked a few times. But like he said, everyone in the world knew that was coming. And I mean, yeah, I guess I see what you're saying. Like, Russell Wilson is fucking insane. He's insane. Five touchdowns. And he does.

We said last week put the prettiest ball in all sports is when Russell Wilson throws the drop in the bucket touchdown. And he had a couple of them tonight, Dick, Dick, and then the other one to the pylon, which was like insane footwork. Like he's playing on a different level right now.

And the Seahawks have I'm convinced they have four lockets. Yakut is everywhere. Yeah, but no, but Lockett in particular, like he's everywhere. They have to have multiple.

Jamal Adams is also everywhere to Jamal Adams is insane. And we also have to we can't just not mention the fact that Bill Belichick tast Ernie Adams all week with cutting up. New mask for him, he looked like Birdman, it was it was it was he looked like the penguin. He had to be maybe is the penguin the new guy in the new Batman?

Yes. Ah, the Riddler. Oh, what just happened. Go. We have a ghost in the room. OK, what's going on. I just turn my volume a little.

He looked like the penguin. Unbelievable. He looked like when I wear that stupid high altitude mask and convinced myself I sit on my couch and play video games in high altitude. I'll lose weight.

Yeah, that was him. It was. But it was tiny though. It's like really small.

It was like Russell Wilson, if he were a G-string, a covered up, barely like the spot between his nostrils and the top of his upper lip.

Yes. So, yeah, Belichick looked awesome. Steve Belichick looked great on the sidelines. That mullet is flowing. Great hair, absolutely great hair. Great. Just great game.

So can Norton. He's the defensive coordinator for the for the Seahawks. Right. Big time football guy. He had his fingers taped up. Yeah. Like he was going to go out there and play defense line.

I like very intimidating. Like Harbaugh wearing his cleats.

Yes. I absolutely love that. Yeah. It was a great game. There's nothing better. It's just I don't know. You can't you can't plan it because it's obviously random and it's the world's greatest, you know, reality shows, sports. But there's something about a great Sunday Night Football game that just puts a beautiful cherry on top of Sunday. Like when you have a shitty clunker for Sunday night, you go to bed and you're kind of like, OK, well, it was fun moments, but a instant classic Sunday night just has you buzzing in your head.

Yeah.

After injuries like that was awesome because wait for next Sunday.

It makes you feel like you definitely didn't waste your day by sitting on the couch all day watching NFL football.

You know what? It's never a waste to sit on your couch, obviously watching NFL football. But I did have a realization this morning because, like I said, we are in Philly. So I was walking around today trying to get trying to suck in as much fresh air, knowing that I was not going to get off the couch for fourteen hours, I think the two hours before kickoff.

They're not better than the football, but they're pretty damn good.

You haven't watched the bad boys and you also when there's something about walking around before an NFL Sunday seeing like people in their jerseys or their sweatshirts and given that nod, like, you know, it's on the fucking it's pretty football, sometimes you think it's more potent than the actual football.

It's just there's something about it that I just we need to come up with with a phrase for it, because it's those it's those like three. I wake up early on Sunday just so I can have as much football as possible.

That's what it is. It's pretty fun. Yes.

And the second cousin of that would be when you go out to like Las Vegas and you walk through the casino on a Saturday and all the dealers are already wearing their NFL jerseys.

Yeah, Saturday. Yeah. Just reminding you, hey, it's come it's football time.

Maybe it is football time. OK, next game, we have Packers at Lions'. I want to say this as respectfully as possible. I think that Patricia is eating his losses. He looks large and those losses are piling up because they've lost now 11 in a row the lines of loss, 11 games in a row. They've also lost. Why are you look at me like that. They've lost four straight losses, four straight losses where they've had double digit lead.

Well well, let's let's give credit where credit's due. Matt, Patricia is also the architect of that interception in the Super Bowl from the two yard line. Correct. Put some respect on his name because so they've had four straight losses. Eleven I'm sorry, Lions fans, 11 or sorry, 11 straight losses, four straight losses where they've had a double digit lead. Weak one, they're up. Twenty three six. They lose twenty seven. Twenty three week two, they're up fourteen three on the Packers.

They lose forty two. Twenty one. This is the guy who they hired for Jim Caldwell after firing Jim Caldwell, a nine and seven season, which again, I'm sorry, Lions fans, but there is a level of you have to know what you are. It's I mean, it's similar. I can speak about it because it's when the Bears fired Lovie Smith for Marc Trestman, it was like, wait, why? Right. Because what are we doing, Matt?

Patricia, though, he's doing the Brett Pillemer where the losses pile up and the losses equal cheeseburgers and the cheeseburgers pile up and then they go to your belly.

He was certainly getting into last season a little bit early. He was all seven layer dip on Matt Patricia's body.

He looked like, you know, the kid in the Christmas story where they just bundle them up and every single, like, warm winter piece of clothing that they have and he can't really walk anymore.

Matt is getting less cold. It's not. It's not. But he's layering up.

He's just it's and this is also I think if you could script like the perfect head coaching resume, never be a guru on either side, like B, B, John Harbaugh, B, the special teams coach. B, the quality controls coach, because then people can't like you can control special teams. You could have great special teams by finding the right guys. Matt, Patricia, his defense fucking stinks. And he's a defensive guru. Yeah. So I don't know what like I feel bad for the guy because I think it's over here.

But man, the lions got absolutely gashed like gashed on the run and Aaron Jones was all over the place. Aaron Rodgers, the fuck you is happening this year. I've come to accept it and I'm very, very scared.

But they were just running all over.

It's always weird to see the Packers with a competent run game. It always looks like a glitch because we haven't really seen that from from them really in the last like fifteen years. But they do need to figure out how to keep Aaron Rodgers pissed off for an entire season.

Yeah, they have to have a strategy because right now they're STREAT. They're toasting off their master class of draft drafting. Jordan Love. Jordan loves going to start dating Danica Patrick. So they need to set him up.

They need to absolutely get under her skin somehow like that or just like hire a bully to hang out next to bring Brett Favre back in, make his make his brother, who he doesn't speak to.

Offensive coordinator. Yeah. That any quarterback coach, anything to get a rise out of.

Just smash all the crystals that Dannica left behind. You need to keep him pissed off over the course of the season because Aaron Rodgers, he does play better when he has that chip on his shoulder.

But if wasn't even him today, though, he was he was good. Put the running the basket for two hundred fifty nine in the running game.

Second, again, it looks weird when the Packers are running the ball. So very well put.

The Lions are just I'm sorry, Lions fans. This is like and you have to restart all over again. Everything's got to be washed away. I don't even like. What do you even do with Matt Stafford? Do you just say, Hey, Matt, like, sorry man.

Like never really worked out. Yeah. You should retired five years ago.

I don't know. Maybe just go away. Yeah.

You can't restart with them. You can't bring in like a new guy like that stuff. Yeah.

I think I'm the one who's on the hook is calling him is a Hall of Fame future all fame quarterback just based off his ridiculous stats. Yeah.

No, he's absolutely going to be in the Hall of Fame. But yeah, his his future like Matt. Patricia, let's let's get real. He's probably not going to win more than five or six games this year and there's no chance that might be that might be too much.

There's no Chelsea to play the Vikings twice.

But listen, it's so they got Cardinals and Saints in the next two weeks. How does he survive that? He survived to week five because then they start 014 for like that might be tough. Is it is it in New Orleans? It is not in New Orleans. And then they play the Falcons in weeks or five, which will be hilarious. Week six don't notoriously not fire coaches.

No, they'll I mean, he'll he'll be fired. But like just in this case, it's charging that he have fire herself.

Yeah. It's shocking that they haven't fired my punch yet.

The Falcons Lions game in week six is going to be hilarious. Like who? You almost. It's like Mario Kart. You don't want to eat. Yeah, because whoever's behind is definitely going to win.

No, I think at all time I think play hot potato.

I think 60 Minutes the Falcons are I would put the house on the Falcons in that game. Yeah.

But then the foul will get they can foul. Yes I can. All right. So that was that game. Yeah. Just Matt. Patricia, like you don't have to eat your losses.

That's all I'm saying. Respectfully, respectfully. All right.

Titans, Jaguars, Garner Minshew is our my two biggest takeaways was guardsman's you. Maybe he's just going to be the guy who we always say, like, he's playing for a job, but he's always good enough to have the job because he's good enough to have the job. But he's like he's the line he's playing for his job. And then Ryan Tannehill. So is Ryan Tannehill officially just good?

Ryan Tannehill took the next step when nobody was watching. Yeah, he's he is very good, right?

Tantalizingly. There's there's no one that I think I've been wrong about in the last five years, don't know you don't.

We were all wrong about Ryan Tannehill because he I don't think we I don't think you counted is wrong, do you, when you were right.

Right. Right. We were all right for so long. He just finally we made so many jokes about taking the next step. He finally was like, fuck it. You guys want to keep making fun of me for taking that step. I'm to take the next step. He went ahead and did it. I don't know if it's just that Titans offense or he likes the air in Tennessee better. Whatever it is, Ryan Tannehill is just like a top ten quarterback right now.

He's so starts and so we're just forty four out of sixty four hundred sixty yards, six touchdowns, zero interceptions.

And also Ryan, I don't know what it is specifically, but he throws a really tall ball.

I feel like all his passes are always high up.

You know what, he's got good shoulder height. Yeah. I feel like if you measure just from from the cleats to the shoulders, he his shoulders are that of like a six foot eight first.

Doesn't it feel like every time they go to Red Zone it's Ryan Tannehill, like in the red zone running a play action, where then he throws a perfectly placed tall ball to a really tall guy.

He's got a lot of tall guys. Yeah. And I mean, it helps a lot having Derrick Henry. Yes.

I think that's which we're not even in Choctaw C2C. Derrick Henry's not even going yet. He's not. He will be get going later, but he's not going yet.

And Vrabel, I guess, trust his kickers now. Well, Koski is now the bizarro world vintage Terry. So Gostkowski missed another extra point today and then hit a 50 yard fifty one yard to go into halftime in a forty nine yarder to win it.

So he he missed it. We know Ventry missed all of them.

Never mind. Yeah, I serviced all Vinny. Terry was just bad luck. Yeah. He was just bad.

But Gostkowski is a future Hall of Famer like Adam Pinetree.

Yes. He Stotsky is essentially like a three pointer who can't shoot free throws. Yeah. Three point specialist.

You can't shoot free throws at this point. Yeah. I mean he's very good for longest and in general this week prove that kickers are back. Yeah. A big rebound week for anyone. I feel like we didn't there was maybe were Nick Foles had a bad miss I think. OK, well that makes sense. Yeah right. He's been around for like thirty years.

Either way, credit to the Titans. The Jaguars were playing a fun game.

You can see that one coming. Yeah. I mean, I'm always shocked when I see the Titans score more than thirty points. Yes.

For some reason like Titans to me I think it's their colors. They just they scream like nineteen to thirteen.

Well it's also what was his name a few years ago. What was the football that he decided to install. Fuck my brother. Oh it was Mike Mularkey.

Exotic, smashmouth, exotic serratia. Which meant that like they're going to run play action occasionally on third down.

We're going to run the ball but we're going to make it look sexy. Yeah. All right. Next up, bears, giants.

I mean, the bears to that's all say the bears are Tuno hasn't been pretty. We had the two different worlds of Mitch today. We had good Mitch in the first half and then bad Mitch in the second half.

I think he only had like 30 yards in the second half.

It was perfect, Mitch, whether though it was six six degrees. Yes. Which as we've heard, is that's where he has like the highest quarterback because he had that one game against the Bucs.

Mitch. OK, say something nice about Mitch. Well, first of all, there's two the second. It's not always pretty, but it's starting to get there more, so he's throwing ducks, but they're actually going to the right guys. So I'm cool with.

I saw him throw one pass today that looked like it was it was kicked off. It was like spiraling. It looked like the onside kick. Yeah. I was going over there. Yeah. And it got caught. Right. So, yeah.

And we're not getting any screenshot matches where we're like, oh he should throw at this guy or like any of the, any of the passes that are thrown, you know, more than five yards either overthrown or thrown.

We didn't have any of those. Maybe this is the key to match.

Maybe he's like a great knuckleball pitcher. Yeah. Where the defense can't catch up with whatever he's throwing.

Do you think he's missing some ligaments like R.A. Dickey?

In a sense, it's I mean, again, it doesn't look pretty. It's not going to make NFL films right. You know, when they do the spiral that's going over and you can see the top level of the stadium and the cool soundtrack hits, it's not that, but it got there in the first half.

And credit to Matt Nagy, I have been a very vocal hater of Matt Nagy, especially last year, but he is starting to figure out the formula run, run, run, play defense because the bears committed to the run and they ran the ball a lot and it got fucking hairy. But there are two. And yes, you could tell me I look, I'm a realist. Juneau's to. But I also understand Tuno probably against two of the bottom five teams in the NFL between the Giants and Lions.

I understand that. So I'm not going to go around parading myself, but I'd rather be Tuno than own to.

Yeah. You're in the captaincy right now with the Giants. I think we can officially say that Daniel Jones is not Eli Manning.

And so there was all last season there was like this little I want to believe that Daniel Jones is a good quarterback one because he got that sweet win against Tampa Bay that we all bet on one money off of him.

And then second, everything that he does just looks exactly like Eli Manning Version 2.0. I think we've seen enough to know that he is not Eli Manning.

You don't like him? He's no, I don't like oh, I like Daniel Jones. And he's not as fun as, you know, I like him. I OK, maybe I'm just intercepted by the Giants fans in the office. But he has no talent around him, I mean, Saken got hurt, Sterling Shepard got hurt, he he's probably going to be one of those guys who in year 10, you're going to be saying if Daniel Jones can just just limit the turnovers, he'll be great.

But I think I like him. Like I actually think he's a good quarterback. I think there's a good quarterback in there.

It's just going to you got to figure out a way for him to stop fumbling all the time and throwing, you know, stupid interceptions. But I was given what he has around him. Like, if you put him on a talented team, you you can go far with him. I really think that.

I don't think so. Oh, I think that I like herbut better than I like Daniel Jones already. I think herbut is a better I mean someone you saw herbut. Yeah.

Play one game where the defense didn't plan for him and and that's why I like Daniel Jones last year when he played against the Bucs defense, that wasn't really planned for him, but they put the Bears have a good defense and didn't I mean he kept him kind of in it.

He had no one. He literally has no one. I mean, Auburn had guys throw to Herbert has actually got talent.

He's got a great offense. He has a lot of talent around him. Dana Jones has no one around him at this point. So I haven't seen anything from Daniel Jones that makes me feel like, oh, that guy is good.

Besides, like he looks good when he's walking into the locker room. But that could be what about Monday night, that nineteen play drive that he had?

Of course, the interception was horrendous, but that was an awesome drive against a really good Steelers won one drive.

Yeah, but I mean, that's a that's a that's one of the best defense in the league. I don't know. I'm I'm a Jones naysayer. I think Daniel Jones does not. He has no one around him. I'm not saying he's like incredible, but I absolutely think if you're a Giants fan, he's he all right.

Dana Jones is a guy who you will you will give him his fifth year option.

I think it's too early to say that I would. I mean, I think he will be that guy. Like, I don't think he's going to be a guy after four years and like, go ahead, get out of it.

Well, yeah, I mean, the Giants won't because the Giants, they're right. No, I don't think I think most teams I liked in Jones, I do. All right. So that.

Yeah, I mean, the Bears play the Falcons next week. We'll see what happens there, but. Good Mitch, bad match, whatever to those two. Now, speaking of Falcons, let's talk about that game. So this was a doozy. This was a doozy because there's so one team started the game three and out fumble fumble, failed fake punt fumble. And that team won the game. The Falcons. This is the most Falcons stat of all time.

And I really do feel bad because Falcons fans, I don't even know how you can just like do you even Falcons fans, I would assume, just wake up tomorrow and they just sigh.

And then the Charlie Brown, like the sad trombone, the boom boom room, they just have just followed him around all day. They have miserable falls. It's like a little ornament is a bad season for them. Yeah. If you're a Falcons fan, you should get like a like a vest that you can wear to work on Monday. Like when you see a service dog says do not put like one that says Falcons fan, do not approach, do not make small talk with breaking news giants.

Second, Barkley just tweeted every giants' post from his Instagram. What's this league? What is he blaming the Giants for?

Getting hurt by the Giants are mess. They're terrible and they're a mess. And this is going to go bad for Joe Judge very quickly, because you can't be the hard ass coach and have things being Masad.

We can judge. He didn't just delete Giants pictures. He deleted everything except for one picture.

OK, maybe it's like including pictures, including giants. OK, so the headline stands.

He he deleted everything that had anything to do with the New York Giants from his Instagram.

Yes. All right. So back to Falcons Cowboys game, which was insane, probably game of the day in terms of entertainment. So here's the stat. This is Falcons fans trigger warning. The Falcons had thirty nine points and zero turnovers, teams are four hundred and forty four hundred forty and zero with thirty nine points and zero turnovers, and that since nineteen thirty three, which goes all the way back to when they started tracking turnovers in the history of football, they didn't track turnovers before nineteen thirty three.

So from nineteen thirty three until today team to score at least thirty nine points and have zero turnovers. Four hundred and forty times they won the game zero times they lost. And the Atlanta Falcons are now the singular loser in that scenario.

Congratulations. I mean it's a very Phalcon stat and the way that they lost this game, you're right. They did everything perfectly like they, they did a lot of stuff really well.

But the stuff that they screwed up on was the weirdest part of the game. So they screwed up on that.

There was like a fifty yard touchdown pass to Julio Jones from the wide receiver Russell Gage, who threw a dime.

Yeah. And Jewel and Julio dropped it. And then the onside kick. And when they put the ball down, Bob asked me, he's like, Have you ever seen the onside kick get recovered when they do the thing where they kick it from its side? It was like, no, it never happened, never it never happens.

And then just kind of trickled forward, trickled forward. It was like a snake charmer.

Everyone just standing around, like, what do we do? It looked like the field was going downhill. It was crazy. It was crazy, crazy, crazy.

That must have really fucked with Skip Bayless knowing that there were like these weird kicks that just happened to bounce the Cowboys way, not only on that onside kick, but then on the field goal that was set to win the game. It was a classic Mason crossbar that started to the left and then the mysterious gust or a Chris Christie fault or whatever blew it back dead center. So Skip Bayless, the stadium giveth and it taketh away.

Twenty nine to ten and half up fifteen with five minutes left. The Falcons have found a new low like that is just absolutely incredible that they lost this game and found a way to lose this game when the the Cowboys couldn't stop shit like the Cowboys defense is a dumpster fire. Their offensive lines hurt. Dak was incredible in the second half. But holy shit, man. Like, how do you lose that game?

How does Dan Quinn have a job? And you know, what really pissed me off is so I wanted the Calloway's swink said they can't lose polite, but I also wanted the Cowboys to lose because I really wanted to do a rant about how Mike McCarthy people forget. Mike McCarthy spent an entire offseason telling everyone that he got a subscription to pro football focus and then in his introductory press conference was like, just kidding. I'm lying about all that. I just want another job.

I don't do stats.

I change anything about how dumb I am. I'm going to show you how little I do stats.

I'm going to run this fake punt on my own twenty yard line this whole weekend.

A lot of really shitty fake punts, not only in terms of circumstance when they're running it, but also like the designs of them. Yes, it was a lot of just snap it to the upper back and have them fall forward and try not to kill himself.

Yes, that was that was basically what he did. Also. McCarthy, a lot of people, they lose their jobs.

They need to reinvent themselves in their next career. And a big part of that process is they take some time to exercise, get in shape. No, Mike McCarthy got fatter. That's his that's his Wisconsin revenge body that he's got going on.

It's so you robbed me of that.

Mike McCarthy, the fact that the Cowboys are now one and one in an NFC East that looks like it. I feel like this happened in the last few years. We say this every year.

But the NFC East, I think you might be able when it was seven games, Washington's football team still tied. However, Mike.

And you know what I've seen, that's what really pissed me off is because I did not think that Washington was necessarily going to win against the Cardinals today.

But I just wanted that moment where I would know that no matter how badly we lost to the cardinals, we were still going to be in sole possession of first place.

Now we're tied with the Cowboys. The Cowboys. Yes, that's OK. But we talked about this game going into the weekend.

This was going to be the battle of which team is the Cowboys in which team is the Falcons, because they're so similar.

It turns out that the Falcons are still the Falcons. They started their falcons dominant in this game.

Yes, they they put up they planted their flag into that into the Michael Vick Deion Sanders style black helmet and said, we are the Falcons. They are just and cannot take our Falcons. They found a stat since 1933. Yeah, they are the first team to do this. It's insane how they find ways to lose the Falcons are the Falcons and Cowboys are going to be hilarious this year because the Cowboys I love this version of the Cowboys. I love my cowboys to be just flashy enough that everyone buys into it, including myself, but so many holes that they're just going to have terrible prime time loss after terrible primetime.

Yeah, like that is that is Jerry Jones wants to think his legacy is the 90s. No. Jerry Jones, this is your legacy. Your legacy is your cowboys just have enough sizzle to just get. Everyone in love with the team and being like the Cowboys are back only to fall flat on your face whenever you have a big time game.

I think Jerry Jones wants to pay back money. I think he wants to pay him all the money in the world. I think he doesn't want to leave a single cent that he doesn't have to to his son.

I think that Jerry is like for every touchdown pass to run. Been stealing. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Like, I don't know, I feel like Jerry Jones doesn't exactly keep like a watchful eye on his bank account. He probably has a bunch of cash just underneath his mat in the walls. Yeah. Yeah.

When you bulldoze that house, it's just going to be like a cash grab machine. But he wants to give as much of his money as possible to Dak Prescott, which is why you saw him like he was flipping out when Dak scored touchdowns. Today, he's like, yes, this is more money that I don't have to leave to my shithead son after guess.

And Dak was awesome. Dak is awesome. You should probably be paid. Piddock We'll see.

Also, any time we saw any dome for a place, that's when the game turned around and Don game in there. He also I think he called his own play. Yep. Because there's no possible explanation when they were I think it was second and goal Dak gets knocked out of the game for a play and Andy Dalton threw a pass or had a pass play called for him, which I can't imagine. They were like, yeah, let's do it.

Let's have a pass play here for Andy. Yeah.

Let's give the keys to this offense to Andy Dalton to really unlock things.

I think Andy, probably he's got one of those escalator's contracts, right, for for his touchdown pass attempt on the pass attempts. Yeah. One completion. Yeah. How many incompletions. If you can limit it to under two and completions on the year then you go one single pass them either way.

That was an awesome game. Awesome, awesome game. And the Cowboys, they're not good. The Falcons. The Bears have to play the Falcons next week I feel like. I feel like I fell back in love with the Falcons, even in a loss with just how good their offenses, they scored so many points so far and Julio Jones didn't even have that good of a game. I think you only had like 30 yards. That really was awesome.

That one should have been a touchdown. Yeah.

We got to actually ask, who's the who's the one who's mans who's the one on the Falcons? Who's Batman? Who's Robin? Yeah.

Who is who's wide receiver one at this point I would say wide receiver one on the Falcons is actually the one that puts up the more disappointing game.

Whoever throws the pass that doesn't get completed on big play. Do you think that it's different to try to catch a 50 yard bomb from your wide receiver as opposed to catching one from Matt Ryan? Probably. Probably, yeah.

It's like overthinking it. Different spin rate maybe. Yeah, they're overthinking it. But ten. Quinn, Godlove, you.

I think Team Quinn actually, Quinn cries enough he might be able to keep his job.

Still, I, I don't think that you can fire Dan Quinn after a game like this or like multiple games like this, because you look at the scoreboard, you're like, well we scored thirty nine points. Yeah.

And we had no turnovers. Yeah. Which I mean that's got to be pretty good stat. Yeah. You can't fire a coach. He put them in a position to play. Yeah. All right.

Next up, we have Colts, Vikings, the Vikings suck. I would like to say I'm going to don't change the Vikings again after week two.

They're totally Vikings are done. Well, not only are they done, but Kirk Cousins had a very UNCAC cousins like game.

Oh, yeah, he was horrendous. He should have thrown two touchdowns in the fourth quarter in garbage time just to make this a true Kirk Cousins game. But they are stinky. They're stinky trash. I'm done chasing them right now. I'll what am I going to do if the Vikings if the Vikings win the Super Bowl, I'll get Crede lyrics tattooed on my body.

There you go. I'm so waiting for my pinky team. I got to go. Week three, week three.

I'll come up with a week or two is like that's I think that's my annual tradition. I'm just going to pencil in the Vikings every single year week to them and their ever won a Super Bowl.

But they they're bad. They're very bad.

They had a safety in back to back weeks, which is kind of cool because I always like how it like throws off the whole score of the game when you get a two pointer and fucks everything up.

Yeah, but it's impossible to celebrate a safety in a masculine way because the guys in defense end up doing the safety side. Oh, I think it's all in the hips. If you have a little hip wiggle with it, it's kind of sexy.

Yeah, well, you really do need to throw the lower body into it because just going like that. Yeah, that's not cool. And I actually think that the safety should be worth five points. Two points is not enough for safety. It's hard to do. It's, it's a change of momentum type play. They should, it should be five points and then you also get the ball.

I so I'm not into five points.

But I would like a change in the safety rule where Ford progress doesn't count because that's the most disappointing thing. When a guy runs out of the end zone and barely gets the ball at the end zone and then gets fucking demolished ten yards deep in the end zone, that should be a safe.

I would say that if any part of your body throw the ball out of the equation, if any part of your body gets tackled and lands in the paint and part of the end zone, that's a safety. Yes.

Yes. Danielewski is shuddering right now. Yeah. About this conversation.

So the Vikings suck. Kirk Cousins was horrendous. And the Colts, I don't know the culture. I mean, Jonathan Taylor's good divorce. Buckner was an unbelievable trade for them. The Colts are back to being Darkhorse Colts. Are we going to say their dark horse again?

They could be a dark horse right now. Yeah, I think that this was a classic game where the Vikings were worse than they looked in week one and the Colts were better than they look. Yeah.

And this also was our official first. We had our first first official red zone game that we forgot was happening.

Yes. Red Zone did not go to this game for a solid hour. And then it would and then it would flip to it. And it was like the Vikings did something stupid. Or the Phil Rivers through an incomplete wasn't was bad today.

Yeah, it was nice. Interception wasn't even his fault. He did have that hilarious one where they did the one time they gave him red zone shine. Phil Rivers threw the ball and it hit the crossbar. And that's right in the red zone.

Yeah, I think it was I don't think it was a crossover. It might have been an upright that he dunked it off of. Yeah. Yeah, that was funny. That was very funny. It was like he was passing to Antonio Gates again. Yeah.

So Colt's back. So narrative alert. Colt's back into the dark horse. Yeah. Because AFC South Side open. Well not not good but still the Colts are back into being a dark horse team.

Colts are good. I think they're officially they're officially good. I'm not ready to say that they're better than the Titans, but I think that they're right up there and the Vikings and the Lions suck stink trash.

All right.

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So thank you to Hooters, our wonderful sponsor. All right. Dolphins' twenty eight or sorry. Galvin's thirty one dollar twenty eight bills. Thirty one. All you, Josh Allen haters out there suck our fucking dicks. We called it this is this guy is so good. He last week he had his first three hundred yard game. This week he had his first four hundred yard game. Actually, I forgot to mention that the going back to the Vikings real quick because it relates to the Bills, the Vikings had the mini DeAndre Hopkins things going on where why did you trade Stefon Diggs?

Diggs is like you look so much different as an offensive. Stefon Diggs and the bills look so much different with Stefon Diggs because it's the perfect receiver for Josh Allen's rocking arm. So all you haters, they're getting silent. They're starting to get a little silent. I'm sure some nerd will fucking rank.

Josh Allen is like the worst quarterback because he he threw a pass that was completed for a touchdown, but he threw a kind of a little higher launch angle was.

Yeah, right. It wasn't catchable. It was a 50 percent catchable pass, not one hundred percent catchable. But fuck you haters. Josh Allen's awesome. Here's my stat for Josh Allen today. He kicks ass, he kicked ass and stop kicking ass. And you want to talk about getting the keys to the offense, huh?

I think we need to say the bills have officially turned over their offense to Josh Allen. He was throwing the ball on third down. He's done the ball on second down. He's on the ball on first down, second people.

Yeah. And a play is never over when Josh Powell is running with the ball and when I mean never over, he will run over like three or four people and then he'll fumbled the ball out of bounds. When he gets hit, like at the end of it, the play is not over until the whistle blows because he's equally parts liable to do something really cool, equally parts liable to, like, try to lateral it to his fullback.

Yes. So, yeah, Josh was awesome today. And I think that the haters are fuckheads and they can suck sucker dicks.

Yeah. Yeah. So suck it like literally suck it. I made a note during this game. I'm a write down on my deck and you suck. Keep sucking it right now.

I made a note during the game that Cole Beasley always has something fucked up with his uniform after.

Plus chinstrap usually is fucking the chinstrap. The helmet goes sideways, it's just gets like a sock that gets pulled down. He's a kid who has when he has a popsicle, he's just wearing it for the rest of the day.

Oh, yeah. Like Kool-Aid lips. Yes. Oh, forget who he is. The way the kid was seen.

He is the ukulele lip kid listening right now.

Dude, you deserve the ridicule. Yeah. Just fucking eat a popsicle and don't make a mess of it.

And I don't know what's going on with with his facial hair every single week, but it's different every day. He can grow like an entire full chinstrap because it's five days. Yes. He's the the Steve Belichick of Wes Welker's just like a little a little Janki. Yeah. It also like when he gets the ball in the open field, he's sick.

Yes. We have Hank Yon's, by the way, going on. Hank Yon's. Ah, well. Yeah, I know, but nobody could turn your mike there that time there that I want the people to know there's that loud that you can you can hear it. Also in the Dolphins game, there was a lightning break. But before that, people were mad.

The last time I. Yeah, but I'll do it if you want me to. Yeah.

Just do it once. You can't do it the whole time. But there was a lightning break, but before the lightning break they had just lightning interference with a TV signal. So there was a good like ten minutes of that game that we could watch.

Anything could happen during that game. We don't know how Josh Allen, Josh Allen threw during that time period. We couldn't see it.

Got no interception so far for Josh Allen this year. He had a couple of fumbles, week one. But I don't care. The Josh Allen haters can suck our dicks. MVP is awesome.

Josh Allen for MVP, people talking about it. Honestly, I'll accept an apology from anyone at this point.

I don't care because you're missing out like you are missing out on the fun.

So I will if anyone out there right now who was staunchly Josh Allen's bust, Josh Allen sucks. Josh Allen isn't good. If you say if you got a tweet part of my take, myself and Patti and Josh Allen say, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Josh Allen is good. Please don't make me suck your dick. Then you are now in the Josh enfin.

I'll consider not letting you suck my dick. Right.

I anatsui tomorrow I'm making. No, I'll let you enjoy the fun that is Josh on because guess what, it's fucking fun. Yeah.

We're offering Josh Allen buybacks and when they do a Jersey buyback program. Yes. If you had bad Josh Allen takes, you can bring them to us and we will give you a full refund on your shitty draft take. Yes. And all you have to do is just apologize.

Yeah, it's a gun swap. Yeah. Come on in. No questions asked. Yeah. Drop off your gun. We're not going to say what happened, who you shot, whatever happened. Just give us your gun. Get that gun off. Get the bad. Josh Allen takes off the streets.

OK, there was there is the that sound like that sound like Brawne Junior Hinsliff. That way we back we just we don't want we don't want Josh Allen takes to be out there harming any innocent people. Right.

Exactly. We, we can't have that anymore. So come traded in. No questions asked. Also dolphins just start to. Yeah. Just fucking play to a man like Fitzpatrick is he's Fitzpatrick. What are we doing. What are we doing?

Every time we see him out there, we're just like this should be too. I don't really I don't I want Fitz matters. And that would be a lot more fun. This would be one Fitzpatrick to stay in the league as long as possible.

But I want him as the backup. I want him to come in when the starter gets hurt or starter misses a game. It's like Fitz Magic. Yeah. Fitz Fitzpatrick is the day one starter. It doesn't feel the same, so we're just sad. Yeah. Surprise.

Fitzpatrick is the best, right. When when they cut to it in the middle of the red zone and they're like, hey, guess what, we have an injury. Look who's in. That's right. It is. It's Ryan Fitzpatrick from Harvard. Right. And yeah, he's a guy that could hang out for another couple of years. Just play. I hear he's really good at ping pong, so he keeps you guys in the locker room. You very good at Rubik's Cube.

Brian Flores, he might be doing the old. I'm going to hang on to this rookie quarterback for so going into next year, you have to give me a full season under two and then he gets good at the second half of the season. Then he can't fire him then, because, listen, we're gaining some momentum with two here. That's three years. So easy for Brian Flores on a three year plan. Right now, he's no dummy.

Yeah, you're really smart, Brian Flores. That is really smart.

But I want to. I want to. All right. Forty Niners jets. So I guess there's some turf controversy. Did you see this? Yes, yes. MetLife turf controversy. Turf is sticky. Apparently the turf is sticky. We've seen multiple knee injuries. We had one week one with the Steelers offensive lineman. And thank God Big Ben didn't get hurt. We had well, I would have liked bigger than Ben Part five, but Joey Bosa gets hurt.

I think he might be out for the year. Fucking sucks Garoppolo got hurt. Who else was his name. Solomon Thomas got hurt.

Oh Guy drafted right after Mr. Brisky. The 49ers. Yeah.

Down Stanford. He was he balled out in that holiday bowl against Mr. Besuki.

I remember joining me somehow perfectly healthy.

No more just no George stop. Yeah. I'd like to make a rule for Jordan Reed. You guys ask for it. For the record. Yeah, he did the Jordan.

I said do one. Also on the record, for the record, when Jordan Reed scored a touchdown, there needs to be a rule telling all of his teammates, do not go up to him and pat him on the head.

Ardo headbutts to him because he scored a touchdown today, which is great to see. He's working on like a baker's dozen amount of concussions for his career. Yes. And then all of his teammates, one by one, came up and gave him a headbutt afterwards. Yeah, I was.

It was like watching Teddy Bridgewater take a hit or slide. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. But yeah, he survived the turf monster in New York in the Four Corners just to play there again next week.

Do you think it's do you think it's all a cat piss on the floor? Do you think stop yawning? I think I think it's a cat piss in MetLife because they've got all the strays running. It's no. So it is new turf.

So it's brand new turf. That's what the controversy is about. That's how they installed it. This. Yeah.

Since it's new, that makes the cats want to piss on it even more. I mean this is bad. So the forty I wouldn't be shocked. They have to do something because the 49ers sounded like they don't even want to play on the turf.

The Jets, the Jets. Now the Jets are in the running for worst team in the league. I think it's pretty much now. I actually wouldn't put the Giants in in their running. I think it's the Lions and the Jets.

Right. Also, I would put the Giants in the running to I think the Giants are just frisky enough that they're not like the Jets gave up a third and thirty one. Run, play. They gave a bull run play that converted to third and thirty one, they actually went from fifty five yards. The Jets that this game looks a lot like doesn't even look close.

31, 16 or 31, 13. The Jets scored a touchdown with a minute and a half left to make that 13. So it was really thirty one to six. The Jets are really, really, really, really bad. Yeah.

At one point they were down by 21 points. I think it was late in the third quarter.

And Adam Gase kicked a sad field goal the week. Yeah. So that was I actually wrote that down, down twenty four, three fourths fourth and goal on the seven kicked a field goal. That right there tells you that's like the death rattle for a coach. That's the Pat Shurmur when he's punting for the box score. That's a box score move. That's not a football winning move. That's a I don't I just want to put up a few points so that when I'm going to look for another job I don't like, at least it doesn't fuck up my average.

Too bad. So here's how bad Adam Gas's is. Head coach. I don't think I've ever seen him smile as a head coach. He's never I don't think he's ever been happy as time head coach.

He's increased this part even time if they, like, squeak out a game. Thirteen to ten against the Dolphins. You never see Adam Gase enjoying his job. I don't think he likes being a head coach. No, I don't think he's good at being a head coach. I don't think that anyone likes seeing Adam Gase coaching their favorite football team. So it begs the question like, why? Why is Adam Gase doing this himself? He's got money to stop coaching.

You hate it, right? I don't know. No, he definitely doesn't have any pride. He coaches the Jets. Yeah, no, I mean, it's it's a disaster. It's an absolute disaster. I want to go back. Jake Marsh, here's a project for you this week. I want you to go back and find all the times that Adam gets was called an offensive genius.

Throughout like the last 10 years, because I just want to laugh at it like this is I bet you it's a lot, that's how stupid we are in like the media fans, everything. We've called this guy an offensive genius.

It was like after that that one game where Peyton Manning threw seven touchdowns. This is Adam case. Do you think that a guy like Adam Case, I was thinking about this, like, what would I do if I was an Adam Gacy's shoes right now? And I think this kind of explains how we get to Adam Gase having his team prepared so poorly. If I were in his shoes, I'd be like, I'm kind of just going to give up and hope we get a miracle on something like Hope.

For some reason, everyone is. I'm in the same place. I know they don't work, but maybe, just maybe they will this time. And that's how you end up with Adam.

If I were Adam Gase, I would pull a full Tony Sparano and say, let's get weird with the offense. That's all the crazy shit that you've ever drawn up and had somebody say, no, that's too dumb. It will never work.

Let's run all those plays. Let's let's go Wildcat. Have Le'Veon Bell touch the ball every single time. Just have Sam Johnson take off his mask or take off his helmet. Try to kiss people. Yeah. There you go. Try to give him an away split.

Sam, don't hold that wide. Have him do the play where you get down on like a knee and start barking like a dog who the defense looks over. Yeah, yeah.

And then just throw the ball to the opposite side of the field or or install sticky turf and then just injure the entire team until they have no impact players left and try to win the game that way.

That that might be exactly what he's doing right now. Huh. Interesting what you're saying. You were yawning your face off. Yes, I mean, it's one o'clock in the morning. John's happened, I'd like to quickly note that we've been in New York for like four years and they have two major sports teams for every sport, and none of them are ever good.

That's that's a fact. Yankees. Islanders what? Division Island to play islanders made to the Eastern Conference Finals. Devils the devil still exists. Yeah, the devils are still around.

It's just it's just just a quick note. You need two teams delivered.

They'll trash. The liberty. What's their tennis team, Jay? They've got a tennis team. They try to make professional tennis. That was the dumbest idea, the New York football, you know, I think a really important sport and then just make it a team and then just hope people will watch it.

Just a quick little note. I just want to throw in the good note. Good note. That was a hacked note. All right. Next up, Rams, Eagles.

Wait, one more thing with 49ers Jets game. How many times did we need to see the replay of that moster touchdown run today?

That that was on the red zone channel, I think nine times?

Well, what happens is so you get you get replay interception. So what happens is they get like one or two big plays that they just run on loop on the fox. Yeah. And then on RedZone will be watching a game and they'll be running the replay on the local stadium. We're seeing it on RIENZO, but RedZone is not running it.

But it's never happened that many times in the game where we had to see it like every other game. Right. We jumped in on RedZone while they were doing a look in at what happened in the first quarter of the Jets Niners game.

It was. And then I love when Scott Hansen sees those come up and he's like, we already saw this play on Red Zone.

Schostak, an asshole disgusted. All right. Rams, Eagles, Rams thirty seven. Eagles nineteen. Eagles might just be bad and. No offense, Eagles fans, but Carson Wentz might just be bad, and I know he probably did a press conference because Carson Wentz might be the king of press conferences where he says, I got to get better.

He's always got to get better. He's very good at facing the music. Yeah, I hey, listen, this one's on me. I got to get better. And then next week comes out and he's worse. And week one, you could you could kind of understand it because he had no offensive line. And the Redskins have an incredible front flush and football team sorry, basketball team shit.

This week they did a pretty good job protecting him. He just misses guys. Yeah, he's just wrote we had that game on like the regular. We watch that entire game. He just misses guys and throws interceptions and kind of just isn't good right now. He's strong. He's strong.

Today it's time to push the panic button.

If you're the Eagles, it's got to be better. Got to be better. Got to be. And you know what?

He'll be the first to tell you that it starts with him up front. So you love to see accountability and a leader like that. If you suck, don't tell everybody that you're good. Jalen hurts.

You ever get in? He did. They showed it. They used him as a decoy. I don't know what kind of decoy they thought they were using. They split them out wide, didn't really have him run many routes whatsoever. I don't think he ever threw a pass or got he never took a snap.

He was there, but he was on the field, showed up. He was on the field. He was delivering plays out to Carson Wentz during the game.

That was such a I mean, there's and their defense that's the thing, too, is like I don't want to put it all in cars once their defense was not good and give credit to the Rams. I think the Rams are kind of we're getting the Rams from two years ago that they got their mojo back. Sean McVay, he's got his mojo back jirga's, got his mojo back probably all because of Cooper Kupp. Like, I love. I love what.

It's one guy. Yeah. Like the straw deserves a drink. I'm obviously being a little facetious, but Cooper Kupp got hurt last year and their offense kind of fell apart and then he's back this year and they're like Oh the Rams are back.

I can't wait to see the breakdowns. They have to have another Sunday Night football game coming up at some point where they show the the release that Jared Goff has and then compare it to what he had last year. He fixed it. They're really big on that. Jared Goff has fixed his release and he's just throwing mechanics split second, faster, split second, faster. And they do the like tracer that follows the ball down and then straight up, he was awesome.

Yes. His release looks good this year.

You know, like Ryan Tannehill throws a very tall ball. Yeah. Jared Goff also throws it extremely tall.

I'm like, listen, I don't want to go around parading, you know, this podcast too much, but our guys are starting to fucking look good. Yeah. Josh Allen, really good. Jared Goff, really good year. Goff was really good. This Guardsmen's you fun. Really fun.

Who else talks about it. Who else are in this Mahomes mahomes look.

Ditchley the worst. Yeah. We'll get some of Yeah. Sphynx compared to Jared Goff and Josh Allen. Yeah. I don't know what, what injury.

I just want to know for the record, what injury are we blaming this loss on for the Eagles. We have to be on the same page. I think offensive lineman got hurt, so the Eagles are my problem with the Eagles are is that if you win a Super Bowl this decade, I just kind of assume you're still the team for that decade.

Like, it's kind of kind of like when we talk about the Seahawks defense Seahawks don't have a good defense anymore. No legion of boom, right? Oh, man. They got guys out there.

They should bring back that guy that they kicked out for having sex during training camp. Yes, they absolutely should.

The Eagles are similar where I can't accept that the Eagles might just suck, but I think they suck. But I won't be able to. My brain can't work fast enough to really like the Eagles could just keep losing games like today, like now.

But Carson Wentz is something Carson Wentz and Doug Peters. Great coach. Yeah, as long as like those two are the same. And then the year after they won the Super Bowl, they still made it back to the playoffs. So their Super Bowl hangover wasn't even that bad of a hangover. So it is still Jim Schwartz. Yes, it's still Jim Schwartz, his nipples still poppin.

And Eagles fans, the the Super Bowl gravy period, the grace period is over because they we were around a bunch of them today. They are motherfucking their team. And I actually am like, good, you're back. Because I looked at Smitty, who you know, I've known Smitty for a decade now, and he was fucking screaming at the Eagles. I was like, you guys want to shoot like three years ago, said, I don't give a fuck.

These guys suck right now. It's like, OK, good.

Philly's got Philly back. They've accepted it. Yeah, I like that. I don't want my Philly to be happy. Yeah.

I want my family to have that edge. There's no better way to make Philadelphians realize that their teams are good. It's really one or two losses if you lose to the Dallas Cowboys. That's one great way of of like that. We'll throw the entire city into a panic. Right. Or if you lose to the worst team, one of the worst teams in the league that people thought coming into this year and Washington week one. But really, we need to wait until they play against the Cowboys, because if they lose that game at that point, they will be calling for Doug Peterson to be fired.

Yes, absolutely.

All right. Next game, we have Broncos, Steelers. Trouillot got hurt. I think he's out for a few weeks. I saw the chefs or tweet. Can you actually play the Fox Music underneath this? I these tweets pissed me off so much because everyone got hurt today. This is the Everyone got hurt day. Schefter tweeted today Nick Poza carted off with bad knee injury, sick Wambach Barkley carried off with knee injury. Parris Campbell carted off with knee injury to lock in locker room with shoulder injury man.

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Dan Adams, new to the NFL, Schefter Yeah, that really hits home, dude, every year. I feel like has one week like this where the injuries people remember. Oh, yeah. Football is actually pretty dangerous sport to play sometimes.

But it's also so funny to just that tweet. You're not you're not breaking any news. You're just looking for retreat's based solely off of guys getting injured. That's true. Man, look at look at look at how much I feel for these guys. I took at least twenty five seconds out of my day to craft this tweet.

Well, because he doesn't get to break injury news. Yes. So he has because the hip. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't want to do that anymore. Yeah. He's a felon. Yeah he's. Yeah. They took away is like when you lose your right to vote or weapons. Right. Adam Schefter is not allowed to come anywhere close to injury news. Right. He has to give you like a 30 minute grace period before he can comment on it to make sure that's all squared legal.

Yes. Yeah. Drooler, it sucks that he's hurt. But the funny thing is I could see John Elway falling in love with Jeff Trisk. Oh, yeah, that is. Oh, yeah. That is prime. Like Jeff Roorda is drooler without any of the flash. So that's perfect for John Elway. He could talk himself into giving him the start once to like itself.

Also, Jeff Driscoll has a big ass booty for booty guys. Yeah. Have you ever seen the picture where it looked like he was wearing a thong at Florida?

I have not seen that, no. Oh, my God, it's ridiculous. He had a thong ass like he's wearing a thong. That is thong. Yeah, I remember that. Jeff Driscoll's thong for a second.

I thought he was the guy that shit himself.

I don't we don't kill him. No, it's fine. But Jeff Driscol wears a thong while he's playing football.

Just never a good rule of thumb is never left a Florida quarterback.

Yeah, that's it's always worth dumpers. Fiscals, the thong wear on the football.

How is it possible that Florida never has a good quarterback to ever lose the last good quarterback that they had in the NFL? Rex Grossman. Yeah, Cam Newton. We could get Cam. Yeah. Tim Tebow won a playoff game. Tebow people forget that he won a playoff game.

I still think I mean, he wears a thong. It's crazy. He wears a fucking thong while he plays football. Do we have any pictures of him in the Broncos uniform? No, but he's probably wearing a thong, too. I just don't get it. How do you assess the message boards? Just like dudes in fucking Alabama and like South Carolina and Mississippi. They go to bed at night and they get down on their knees. They pray to God and they're like, please let one of my rivals quarterbacks get caught wearing a thong.

Well, playing football, it's just so I can I can escape this this this reality for a minute on the message board. Oh, I have a day.

I guarantee you, Steve Spurrier worthwhile coaching and playing.

Oh, fuck. Golf in a thong.

So Steelers, I don't know. Do we know if the Steelers are good? We don't know if the Steelers are good. Their defense very good. Their defense is awesome. Big Ben, I think it's fully back to being Big Ben. Yes. He had one of those boneheaded interceptions where you can tell on a play when Big Ben starts to think that's when everything goes awry, that Big Ben does his best work, when he's just he's naturally reacting to things are like when a chicken gets their head cut off and their body still keeps going.

Yeah, that's if you could figure out a way to shut down Ben's brain during a play, then you're going to have the best version of Big Ben. Yes, but he had one he had a little too much time to think. And he was like, I guess he got rid of it and like, threw it across his body, lobbed it up in the field, got easily picked off. But I think Big Ben is fully back to being Big Ben.

Yes, I agree.

He also got assaulted when he just flopped. And it was so funny. Yeah. The only thing I wrote down for this game, we don't talk enough about Bud Dupree being a great football player and also having an unbelievable name like Buddy Prezant. Unbelievable man. That's a guy. But Dupree is is is Paul Bunyan's like best friend. But you pre. Yeah. Drives around in a Ford and is like the best shot this side of the Mississippi.

I was going to say it sounds like Bud Dupree could get you a great deal on any pre used Toyota. He's maybe in a Prius Chevy guy. Yeah, we used Chevy really a truck man. But Dupree is is a song like Johnny Cash writes a song about Bud Dupree, the toughest man he ever knew.

Like, we don't talk enough about how great of a name that is. He's going to get paid soon, by the way. He's fucking awesome. But Bud Dupree, we just the world needs to say more often, like Bud Dupree, there's a football player that's awesome at football named Bud.

Do come on down to Bud Dupre's preowned boat and F1 fifteen for him, a free trailer hitches and an on Sunday.

But Dupree, there's five of us sitting in this room right now. Billy's not here. There's five of us sitting in this room right now.

Bud Dupree has more like machismo just in his name than all five of us.

If we OK, cook, eat something and be like here you go. This is all our. Nobody makes Tom so sound like a bitch. Yeah, right, but Dupree would would bitch slap Tom's still alive for the purposes of this podcast.

Yes, OK, but Dupree would bitch slap Tom Selleck and Tom Selleck would say, thank you, sir. It has been an honor to get bitch slapped by you, buddy. Bud Dupre's pubes are the Tom Selleck mustache of pubes. Yes, exactly.

So but Dupree, we might become a Bud Dupree podcast. It's fun to say. Yeah, right. Isn't it? But Dupree just great. Like Shilpa Dupre's parents who are like we have last name Dupree, let's name them.

But I wonder if that's that's probably not his given name. I mean, if it is, that would be that would take this over the Tennessee.

See, Alvin, I anybody even be better. The fact his name is Alvin, but his name is Bud Alvin Dupree. Whatever. Bud Dupree. Let's go. And these are junior to party. You want to do the ad real quick. One, two, three. Yeah. And we'll get back to the games. You guys. First talk about three key in this podcast before three CHY. They are a leader in hip derived cannabinoid products, all their products formulated by a biochemist made with USA grown hemp here in the USA when they released their Delta eight products.

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All right. I had to stand up because my back's going to fucking die. All right. Buck thirty one panther seventeen. What by these shares are fucking joke. I don't know what we bought like there. Yeah, my back feels fine. What are these chairs. They're terrible for your posture, but they're great for chillax. I'm just like and I've been eating like shit.

I'm just, I'm, I'm just laid back right now.

I'm just nice and relaxed on a Sunday Night Football Times football season, you know.

And he's just like today I part of my walk that I was talking about at the start of the show, I was just trying to inhale as much fresh air as possible, knowing that, like, I like a caged animal, we should do on Sundays.

We should do our Philly shows from a dumpster. We should rent a dumpster. Yes. And then just go out in the street.

The water. Yeah, yeah.

Panthers, Bucs, Panthers would I really love is that every single time that the Patriots lose the Bucs win or win the Bucs lose the Patriots win, that would trade that way. We can always we can keep debating for the rest of eternity. Well, who won this off season?

I was mad because Rosillo came up with a great just power rankings every week. One to Tom Brady Belichick. I'm sure he has Belic Tom Brady one Pelchat two now this week. Yeah, that's how it's got to be. Yeah, it's got to be so but yeah I. Is my rule of thumb face. His glasses are too big.

That's the thing, he has glasses of someone who's 60 pounds heavier than his.

I'm starting to think he's got dumb face because, well, there's something special happening this year where coach football coach is getting mad that choose to wear the visor are so funny because they lift the visor to scream at their team, which.

The optics of the visor, I understand, like they're trying to send the right message, but when you lift it and scream at someone divisors not what's the point of wearing the visor? Right. And it also looks like a welder being like tapping on a welders shoulders, like, what will they lift up their visor like, would you say?

But Matt Rule, I first thought of this when he went for a fake punt on Fourth into his other dumdum fake punt on the 36 yard line. The 36 yard line. The only person who was speaking out and that in that scenario was David Shaw, the coach at Stanford, because he saw a punt from the opponent, 36. He was a good move, dude. Want to play the field position? That's the only person there's no one else in the world who thought NFL coach was punting from the opponents.

Thirty six yard line. And then that rule did it. And then he pulled up his visor, yell at his punter for fucking it up, even though it was Matt rules stupid decision.

Why don't you just keep your offense out there? And I said to myself, I think that rule might be dumb.

Well, he definitely has the look where his mouth is open more often than it's not. Yeah. So, yeah. And when he when he yells, he spits into the clear visor that's in front of him. And so that's always a weird look when you get the spittle from the inside on. Yes. But yeah, that rule I don't, I'm not ready to say that he's dumb just yet. Might have done. Why don't you. I'd like to see Coach try to take a punt on like first or second down, if that's going to be your offense.

If you're saying that we're at the thirty six yard line, we need, what, two yards. Yeah. And our best chance to get it is by having our punt team on the field to fake it. Why not just build the entire offense out of fake punch.

That's what Adam Gates should do. I like that but I just get fucking weird with it man. Fuck everyone up.

Leonard Fournette fits better in an offense. He's better. He doesn't fall down at the line of scrimmage.

Yeah, he had a nice big run. I mean, I don't really know. I thought, I thought because this is one of the games we had on. I thought Tom Brady looked good. He's definitely not dead like people were trying to bury him after week one. But it's also a very weird fit at times in that offense. And you could tell it was like there were moments where it worked and there was moments where it was clunky. I, I mean, I would imagine by week five, six, we can start grading.

By the way, just a heads up, the Bucs have like a super easy schedule coming up. So the Bucs are going to get some. Wow, look at the Bucs. They're fucking awesome. I don't think I'm going to go look at it right now, but I don't think they're getting, like, truly tested again for a while. So Tom Brady's going to get fat on some teams and everyone's going to be singing the praises of the Bucs.

And I just don't know. They play the Broncos next week. The Chargers. The Bears. I said the Packers, which would be a good game. Raiders, giants like those, they're going to end up being the same one here. Six, you know, five and two. Yeah, six and one. Six and two somewhere around there. So just get ready for that. I just don't know if we're going to fully know what they are.

I just. I miss Rob Gronkowski. Yeah. It's not Stoke. He's not he's totally not having a good time right now.

No. It's yeah, it's if you catch a pass, let me see, he's kind of like we have our own Rob Gronkowski, who's doing schoolwork. Mm hmm. And whatever. How much streaming do you think Billy did today? I think. What do you think, six to seven hours? How much video games do you play? Probably played a good amount. Yeah, to get out of the gulag, he's got to do school work, though.

Mike Evans is awesome, by the way. Rob Gronkowski zero catches one target, not stoked at all.

We're not stoked, we're not stoked about that. OK, yeah, that's all I had for Panthers bucks. I don't know what to make of the Panthers.

I feel like they might be one of the worst teams in the league now that depending on how bad Christian McCaffrey served.

Oh, yeah. Wait, Chasseur didn't even put that in the tweet in favor of that Christian man. Christian McCaffrey hurt classmates. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. All right. Cardinals versus your Washington football team? I'm going to I'm going to throw a flag on something you said earlier, you did think they were going to maybe win this game. You absolutely did.

You did the bird alert. Yeah. You're late. You took them. You beat them plus seven. You thought you thought that the Washington football team was actually a good football team. I bet them plus seven and a half. Right.

You thought there they are, the best football team in the NFL. I knew the name. Another football team. I know one better than the West Washington football.

When I get myself delusions of grandeur. I know I watched you watch that game. You were excited for it. You thought they were a good football team.

They are a good football team. They're the best football team in the league.

Just by name, name alone. Ron Rivera quit on this team.

That was sad. And that was very he didn't use any of his time outs there.

It was a two score game if they stop, which they did get to stop their defense. So good.

I just don't I don't think Dwayne Haskins, like every time I watch Dwayne Haskins, it feels like he's good whenever they're down and everything opens up a little bit and it gets a little easier in the beginning, a game doesn't look good.

So it doesn't matter how fast your defensive line is when you have a quarterback, that is at least half a second faster than all of them in the forty yard dash. Yes. Then it's just impossible.

Like, you can't, you can't get to him, you can't make him feel pressure because it will wiggle out of it.

There were times where it looked like, it looked like the TV was glitching because Kyler Murray would be here and then half a second later he'd go like behind a defender, his offensive linemen, and then he'd be like seven yards downfield right now.

You know what he's really good at doing? He's really good at wiggling.

Yeah, he's the best Wigler in the NFL right now. He's also doing he's also not like I can't really describe it, but he'll sometimes scramble. And he when he's clear that he's not going to get any yards out of it, he'll just slide and take like one yard. So it looks like a bad play, but it's just him not taking negative yards, him not taking sacks.

So I think he's starting to figure it out more. And I'm I'm a believer in Corey Murray. DeAndre Hopkins, still like Bill O'Brien. You're an idiot. You have the Browns next week. Are you going to sell yourself on that? Yeah, I think we got the Browns OK, I think. And then you're going to get pasted by the Ravens. Yeah. And then the Rams hurdler Purtle, the Rams number eight. Yeah, probably get.

Yeah. You also thought that because your butler was right, week one, you're like this might be a thing. Oh yeah.

It occurred to me I looked up their schedule and I saw they play every bird team in the NFL, the Falcons. So they might just be the bird hunters.

I don't know. You have to sell yourself. Oh yeah. No, I'm not I'm not blaming you. I just you know that the season's not going to go. You go. You got to have, like, little fun things that you figure out. The only thing I know is they're brought up is because earlier in the show you're like, yeah, I mean, they lost.

We knew they were going to lose. Like, Oh, no, I don't think you I think you thought they were going to win, which I agree.

You do. You have to set yourself on something you do. It's a fan being.

Well, you know, I'm excited for the first time in years to watch Washington football.

So it like also any glimpse that I get, I'm like, yeah, the defense is great. They got rid of Bruce Allen. So there are all these reasons why they got Ron Rivera and Jack Del Rio. So I'm I'm ready to be sucked in. I'm ready to.

Yeah, I'm ready to to be hurt again, as Michael Scott would put it. No, that's defense is good.

It's in there. Fun to watch. Young's awesome. But I don't know. You got to figure out the quarterback thing.

I also noticed that Kyla Murray, he sometimes just spins for fun. Yeah. When he's in the open field, nobody is just asking him to do it. He does it. Yeah. Like when you see a spectacularly, like, graceful gazelle running in the open across the open plain and just doing these dances that, you know, he's just doing for fun. That's what Tyler Murray does when he's in the open field. He's got people chasing him.

Yes.

All right. Next up, we have chiefs, chargers. OK, so Anthony Lynn, you're coaching losing football, dude, I don't know what that was, that was the Chargers played their fucking balls off. Justin Herbert was good. He made the one mistake. And I think we all kind of were expecting and it cost them because you just can't make mistakes against Pat Holmes. But the Chargers defense made Patrick Mahomes look totally ordinary, like he struggled all day.

They had no rhythm on offense. Their offensive line didn't look good. And then you get to the overtime fourth and one, you have a quarterback who's been running the ball pretty well that day. He's big, dude. And you punt and give it back to Patrick Mahomes, who, again, their offense wasn't good. They did a fifty eight yard field goal. They do it three times to win the game. But still, Anthony Lynn, your coaching, losing football, that was such a baffling thing to do to just give the ball back to Patrick Mahomes.

The chiefs found themselves in situations like I don't think I've ever seen the Chiefs more than once or twice in the game get to like third and six are third and seven. That just does not work. Does not compute to me that chiefs offense on the field and then seeing those numbers next to it, because it's like you should get I'm used to seeing them get eight yards every first down, right. At the minimum. But they're like scratching and clawing, getting these like five, six yard completions to Travis Kelce in traffic in the middle of the field.

And yeah, the Chiefs didn't look like the chiefs. It turns out maybe I don't know as much about the NFL as I thought I did. I think I said the chiefs are going to score one hundred points.

Well, this is less than one hundred is going to sound crazy because it was we're talking about the offense now, but I really do believe that Tyrod Taylor starts that game.

The Chiefs win by twenty five. Yeah. Because Justin Herbert, he had two things going for him. One, he actually was taking shots. And two, we've talked about this before, but you have rookie quarterbacks, young quarterbacks, when they when you can get it to that perfect level of they're just dumb enough to not realize they're bad and they're just like, I'ma go out and play. So he didn't fully realize the mistakes he might have been making.

And if you can bottle that up, you can do something with that.

And he was he was running for some first downs. He took a couple of shots. He actually concussed that chiefs defender William got knocked out. He had several. Welcome to the NFL rookie Steven Chaib moments of the day where he just. Yes. Was not used to getting hit that hard. And like you said, he's dumb enough to not know that that's not a bad thing or that that's a bad thing yet. Right. So he's still, like, putting his body out there and taking shots, like trying to try to get, like, meaningless a couple of yards at the ends of plays sometimes.

But, yeah, the chiefs, they didn't look like the chiefs, but they won. They won ugly. I guess we've seen the Chiefs win every other type of football. Yeah, except for Ugly. And Andy Reid has a mass that doesn't get foggy anymore.

It High-Technology. Yeah. Just had to the technology. No, we just I think it was NHL technology. OK, meaning I don't know, he probably rubbed it down with peanut oil so soaked it up like scuba gear.

He cleaned it. I have a stat for you. Justin Herbert was the first guy with a pass and rush touchdown in the first half of the NFL debut since Bob Clutterbuck. Who nineteen fifty four.

I know when Bob Clutterbuck. You don't make names like that anymore.

Bob Well, Bob Dupre's close. Yeah. No, Bob Clutterbuck is more like a vacuum salesman. Yeah but Bob Clutterbuck is that guy had a job. That guy had a job outside of football because the paycheck wasn't good enough and he would just he was just a regular like you lived next door to Bob Carter.

Bud Dupree has fired Bob Clutterbuck no less than six times over the course of his career. He's a Bob Clutterbuck was just a dude who just lived like, oh, yeah, I live next to Bob Clutterbuck, starter for the Giants.

Well, fortunately for the Chargers fans out there, Terrans coming back next week as a starter to Anthony Lynn said that after the game was over to Rogers or starter, even though I guess he hurt his chest in pregame warm ups.

Yeah, I don't think he's serious because he said that he went to the hospital, right. Oh, really? Yeah, but he said the Terada is going to be the starter next week, which is that is no one's ever gotten fired for starting Tyrod Taylor.

Well Saroja. So he insulin's doing the smart thing of keeping his job by keeping Justin Herbert on ice. But it's the dumping of Justin Herbert showed that he's clearly capable of being in the NFL and playing. And why wouldn't you play him right away. Tyrod Taylor is a great lesson in life, like if you're just a nice enough person, people won't really be ever very critical of you, because I saw it written a few times today where they're like Tyrod Taylor, like really nice guy, doesn't take a lot of shots.

He thinks it's OK to say things. We feel bad for him. You know, he never really got the he never he never kind of found his spot. He's a good backup. I'm sure he's a great teammate. He's not a good quarterback. He's a good starting quarterback.

To me, it's a red flag. When you say somebody as good as they are of a football player, an even better human psyche. So they're not that because football at this point, if you're a starting quarterback, you should be a way better football player than you are. Yes, you should be a shitty human. Yes, you are a great quarterback.

You pretty much have to have a Nobel Peace Prize to be a better human than you are a quarterback if you're if you're an NFL player. So, yeah, maybe he just needs to start being an asshole. Yeah. Maybe Tyrod needs to like, say, you know what, fuck it. I'm going to go back to the old me. I don't even know if he was ever nice to me.

I'm going to go back to the new me that has never existed before and just be a piece of shit. Maybe then will be better quarterback. Yeah.

All right, let's up Ravens. Texans. So the Ravens are just incredible. The Texans.

I actually I'm not ready to to shit on the Texans yet because they had to play the chiefs in the fucking Ravens. Like, you can't start harder than that. Yeah, it's a tough so I'm not going to like it's actually almost the reverse of like the Bears of the Steelers playing two terrible teams start. You can't sit here and say definitively the Texans stink. They don't look good, but they played the Chiefs in the Ravens. I think that this is no exaggeration.

I think I could be the punter for the Ravens this year and not cost them any games. Yeah, easily. They never go for dinner. They always go off. They always go for it and for it to go. He loves going for it. Ever since he realized that. Oh yeah. Fourth down is actually just another regular play and we get like six yards every play. Anyway, ever since the computer folks told him that stat he's been addicted to going for it.

I think I could punt for the Ravens and we'd still go. I'd say thirteen and three.

They the Ravens are Alabama there, Alabama football. They just run the ball down your fucking throat. They efficient passing game. But today they in that fourth quarter, they almost like we were all sitting here rooting for the over. And I felt more confident that the Ravens would maybe get it than a team that can pass because the Ravens just rip off these runs that they look like college football runs, like you're not in the NFL. You're not supposed to be able to run the ball like the Ravens run the ball, they run the ball and they'll just fucking like that.

Fourth and one. We're Ingram scores. That was I've seen that play in an Alabama game where I've covered a spread because Alabama wasn't even trying to run up the score there just so much better than you that they do it. When are we going to get the conversation going for? You should extend Lamar Jackson now. Now pay him now. Pay him pay Lamar yesterday right now. Because they're getting a hell of a deal out of him. Yes.

They've got to win, though. They're going to win. The time is short. So even as bad as the Texans were, that's the only the only second time that Deshaun Watson has lost by more than fourteen points last time ratings last year.

So the Ravens kind of just on the they have their numbers. They just kick the shit out of Texans. All right. Let's get to let's finish up. We got some really football guy we week to do who's back of the week and we'll do a little NBA talk. I don't think there was. Was there any other thing? I don't think there's any, like, tournaments or anything that happened today. No. OK, so perfect.

So that will be the rest of the show. Let's do football Guy of the Week presented by our friends at Phillips Norelco, football guy of the Week presented by Phillips Norelco. Like I said, you got to get Phillips to here. The one blade. The one blade shaver. It's the best. It trims edge shave any length. The Hair Football Guy The Week presented by Phillips Norelco one blade, the only tool that can trim, edge and shave any hair.

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They're the presenting sponsor for our football guy. The Week Your Style Made Simple Phillips Rothko One Blade. So the film Sirocco Football Guy, The Week Jake Marsh. You sent us the email. I'm looking for the email. You texted. Texted. Yeah, it's texted to. I got them right here. Get us get us going. All right. First one was Syracuse quarterback Rex Colpeper, great great quarterback named. He threw his first touchdown of his career, 69 yard score after being declared cancer free in twenty eighteen.

A little heartstrings for us. She went through one hundred hours of Halo, Italy's debt hanks' times.

He just seems just a poor boy here. He's just laid back. Yeah.

This is we're back to The Grinder. I miss American Ninja Warrior on Sunday nights. Suck.

I also have to listen to this back. So this is like, you know.

Yeah, but I can miss the first time for the second time. But if we're flipping if we're flipping it, we pfg I also had to work the last four. We had to work during Sunday Night Football.

That's true. Saying Well you had to watch the game. We had on a stream. True work, work, grind, work, work, work. I might even you can nap ok.

Yeah. Just for the podcast. You'll be good. We shall wake you up. We want to make fun of LeBron because CBDs team. Yeah. I'm ready for bed. Right. I'm listening.

I lost eyes a little bit then we had. The parents of high school quarterback Jake Garcia are nominated to legally separate from their son in order for him to be eligible to play after transferring. So it's like a reverse blindside. Incredible. They overfit, they orphan their own son and then send them out to L.A.. Yes, Sandra Bullock needs to make that.

And I love that move. I love that move.

And then Colts owner Jim Irsay gave a motivational speech on Twitter while standing over the bench press. He talked about that on fire. Yeah. Yeah.

And then Desmond Pulliam, he's a high school senior in Texas with Autism Spectrum Disorder who scored his first career touchdown in a rivalry game. I saw the replay of this. I saw the highlight of this. He's got wheels.

I would like to make a PSA to to anyone who's ever involved in one of these types of plays where they have somebody come on the field who's maybe been associated with the team for a while and want to get them in a game before they graduate, give them a good five yards worth of space as they're running the ball into the end zone.

His teammates came dangerously close to tackling him several times.

Yeah. On this run. Yes, I know you want to be on SportsCenter like high five and on the way to the end zone.

Don't trip him. Also, do you think anybody in the stands had the under on that game?

Yeah. And then that play has got to be tough and then you don't you just have to like bite your tongue and just be like, no, you can bitch about it after you bitch about it after. Yeah. You can do it in private. What are you geochronology today. Charmings cry. Fucking sad sob stories, what the hell, man, we want to do who are like who like, well, the guy who's got like cirrhosis of the liver and he's like, I'll play without a liver and I'll coach the football coach without a liver.

Not just actually. Sad story. That's Bruce Arians. Yeah. Fuck.

All right. So Phil Sirocco, football guy, the week vote. We'll put up the blog. Maybe we'll try to get in touch with them. I mean, I'm going to cry who's going to cry now? Yeah, we we should have a cry if it's not a part of my take.

Yeah, we would just cry. Yeah, but we just try to make each other cry.

We would watch Marlenee do don't even say. Yeah, I know. I just said it. Yeah. All right. Hey, hey no. Hey. So doggone it. Now you're see Normy.

You ever think about Normington old? Everything about and no stuff. I was I mean, he loves you so much and I love him, right? He's my best friend. Already there are boys down. How big is his dick? I don't know, you don't know? I would actually be so funny, Norman, because he's like he's a wiener dog, right? But he just had a fucking hog.

He doesn't you know, he doesn't really whip it out in front of me. We've got to get a real connection. Oh, really? He's really low to the ground, though, like she'll do. He'll just get started going like a chicken. Yeah.

Does he ever does it ever scrape against the ground when he's walking? Yes. Sometimes I feel like a little trail, like damn normal. Oh, so he does because he can try. Oh, it's so small to the ground.

No, I couldn't, couldn't I couldn't part his fifth leg. All right. Enough about Henkes dogs. Dick who's back like. Hank, my who's back the week, you said we're going to do it later, but I'm just going to do it now. We're doing it. We're. This is the end of the show. We're going to end the show. Gordon Hayward. Yeah. And Anthony Davis. So go on. Gordon Hayward's back, Celltex beat the heat.

He's looking good, Saudis are looking good.

That locker room blog, by the way, was way bigger than I thought it was like I was reading some of the tweets. Seemed like they really were.

I told you. Yeah, yeah, I know the show. But they fought it out and they kept it in house. Yes.

As first reported by me on the show two days ago. Marcus Smart wedgie. Brad Stevens. Yeah.

I mean, he pretty much knew I was trying to give you guys the facts. You guys are trying to make jokes. Hungama Really listening to what I was saying, but I told you all this the other day. All for the all for the good. All for the. Yeah, I'm for the cause. They kept it in-house. You have down for the 18th banner to ring Gordon Hayward.

He's staying in the bubble though, right. He's staying in the bubble. He's having another child, yeah, a boy or still always say, this one's a boy, daddy. That is really, really actually happy this time. Yeah, for sure. I think he just realized, like, if you're in the bubble, you can play unlimited amounts of video games. Yeah.

Whereas if you go home, then you have to go to the hospital with your wife and hold her hand while she gives birth.

Still, it's a big thing. He's like, I just rather be on the stick. The best was when we got here. I think the bubble started right as dugs was ending. But we stream rated Gordon Hayward one night and everyone just told him that Doc Rivers died. And then he realized that, like, our chat just fucks with people. And he was like, why would you say that? That's like so fucked up.

I felt really bad. It was also really funny. Doc Rivers would be an excellent name for like for like an old bloodhound. You should name Normy Dog River. Dog Rivers. What's up?

Hey, why not chocker. Oh, wow.

Wow. That's why he's back. OK, OK. My husband ad it is his team. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to say it, but let's just say, you know, I've I've I've thought about some things this weekend.

Yeah. No, LeBron is going to win the title we have to get. Yeah. We have to like I'm not saying that, but I like what's the what's the company like.

And I ran some simulations, I ran a lot of simulations and they're all kind of coming out the same way you just thought.

I think the simulation is Hank thinking too long about. I think being a father should be the number one job that LeBron should have right now.

Yes. Trannie.

He should leave the bubbler. Let's just say that was public. That was not the first time LeBron James Jr has smoked.

He knew his way around the Philly knows what he is doing.

Great caption, by the way, too. That's the thing. Thing is like we are smoking that nuggets pack tonight right after the Lakers beat the Nuggets like that. I would I would say something like that. Yeah, the Nuggets. Yeah. And I was like smoking a celebratory blunt. It's like.

Yeah, smoking the Nuggets back. He's better than smoking weed than I am. Oh. He's only 17 years old is he. How old. He's he's sixteen.

He's great. It's like I love Brian. He's a fucking in the phase.

Clean smoking weed every day clearly is against his dad much like all of us. So it's like what part might be better.

Yeah, no, no. I mean LeBron James. Is that just like us. Yeah. Is rebelling against LeBron James, including Honey Open invites.

Come on the show whenever you want.

Yeah. You know, we should be a brony podcast. I prove them once and then I was like, wait, I'm down with a fifteen year old. That's weird. This is weird. But yeah, he is weird when he trends. That's kind of weird. Yeah. I was just like talking about him. He's like this sixteen year old. Yeah.

But then again they videos and stuff. Yeah that's weird.

But then again he also taped himself. Yeah. So he clearly wants everyone you know, I mean he's like smokes, that's the thing.

And so we know you're cool. Now he raises his fans. He's doing all this shit. Yeah.

He knows that he has to be in front of the camera. Also biggest climb of all time was LeBron James like just bitching and moaning about not winning MVP and not even graduating Giannis. Right, right. It was bullshit voting.

Yeah. What he said scum had to be better than you would normally be. Yeah.

If you worry less about MVP, you know I'm going to win finals if you no disrespect families. No disrespect to family.

Yeah. Also maybe if you didn't feed them whine all the time they wouldn't smoke weed. That's right.

It's actually healthier so they're probably just trying to get rid of the spin's. Yeah. The wine they're trying to counter.

This is this is Brawne actually like going on a health kick. This is like his version of becoming vegan too. It's just like, you know what, I'm not going to drink alcohol. It's better for you if I stay high all the time.

You know, honestly, it must suck. Like it's great to be running. James, you because you're awesome at basketball and your dad's LeBron James. But at the same time, it sucks because you're trending on Twitter after you do something that every fucking kid does, like every kid smokes weed, so don't post it.

Yeah, no, I say post harder, post through it. Yeah. Because if you stop posting now, then you're letting the haters win. If if Bronnie James Jr fucking if if LeBron James wins a title and Brian James Jr.. It's a gravity bong on a live stream. I might actually. I might become a LeBron James fan, smoking that brawny James Jr. is a portal, is a portal, I might I might be like if I ever met LeBron James of like, sir, I'm a big fan of your son.

Yeah, that's it. Straight up like I'm a I'm a big brawny.

And you know what? Whatever part you had in raising him. Good job. Yeah. You're even better father than a basketball player. Yes. You would be great if they won the championship.

And then Brawne was just hanging out with Javal and Jr. Smith just blazing it up. Oh, Joe Smith down the parade and just hot boxing hot boxing the Escalade at the front of the parade. Yes. This is like crack the window. A little smoke comes out. All you see is shirtless J.R. like cutting a milk gallon in half.

The states make that gravity.

No, J.R. Smith definitely doomed. Brawny James Junior is like you're cooler than that's what's up. Yeah, you're already cooler.

Well, your dad, you might have said to me, don't worry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he comes down on you, don't worry. Like it's all love.

You might want to read through it that LeBron James is not cool because my whose back was going to be LeBron thoughts. Wade, before you do that do the last that. But I want to hear this. Yeah. LeBron is back. Yeah.

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All right, IMO. LeBron, yes. LeBron thoughts are back this week. So he's he's doing geometry right now. Red alert. He's doing geometry. He said exactly why I have my close circle. Because as soon as you try to expand the square, the people who you thought were in your corner are the exact opposite. So you get. Do you get that? Yes. So that's what he has a circle, because if you open it up, then no one's in your corner anymore.

I thought that was about Brawne James Jr. And by opening up, he meant like having kids.

Oh, I thought you meant like circle like puff, puff, pass around the circle. Do you think LeBron didn't even understand the Brian James Jr thing? So he was like getting mad at the person who filmed Bronnie James. You you're not realizing it was Bronnie James Jr.. Yes. Somebody somebody went behind Brauneis back and posted this video of him on his own to Snakes in the Grass. Man, I tell you my thought. And then did you see the correction?

No, he just responded with an asterisk saying, ah, Ari, instead of OK, put the philosophy of the expanded circle into a square that still stands.

Right. We can all agree on that. Yes. LeBron James teaching geometry, but also imparting life lessons would be there'll be a TED talk I would be here for when he tweets like that, I just I giggle to myself endlessly, like, what do you think?

He got this thing from the three time NBA champion or fourteen year old girl going through a breakup? Yeah. You decide when when you go off on a tangent, no one will co-sign for you.

LeBron James, my thoughts and you want to tweet some tweets like super dramatic shit like this was the last recorded Orlovsky. What he was like. Remember those who lied to you?

I won't like what what who are you saying this to either? Just tell us. Tell us who doesn't the square that doesn't fit in the circle or whatever the fuck you're saying, LeBron or don't I always leave us hanging. I always assume it's Kyrie. It's still Kyrie still Kyrie. Yeah I like that. Or maybe add because it is, it's clearly his team. Yeah. I mean he got the shot, he did get the shot and LeBron James passed up on his shot.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. For poor nuggets. I like them. They're fun. All right, my my, whose back is the crisp air? It's all the way back. You guys get all the crisp air this weekend. Chris Burns back. I like it to a point I usually like this first week of the crispier this summer. It's a little bit different, though, because I spent the last six months inside air conditioning, you know, and that's always that's always a treat if it's really hot outside.

And you reinterred air conditioning. Yeah, that feels awesome. But I've had I've had more than my fair share of crispier like. So this is a day that's manufactured air.

This is the real crisp air is officially back. It feels like fall football is humming. I think I said it's like maybe the first year we did the podcast. But when you have when you're a bigger guy, it's like a big dog getting their life back. When the crisp air comes, the summers hard, the summer like slogs for anyone who's got breasts like I do. And then that first taste of crisp air and sweatshirt, whether I feel like I could just run, I have the Zumiez.

I just run like crazy. I don't actually I'm not saying I run.

But you don't feel like my brain could run. You feel like you could. Yeah. And I just put on a little luminaires feel like a poet. I feel like I walked around feeling this morning I must say. This morning was like a movie, you should start doing some IMO tweets. Yeah, it was like a rom com. And Judd Apatow. Yeah, you've got Taylor Swift coming in the background. Yeah.

And all that. The whole time I was just like farting and thinking about what bets I was going to make. But that's the new rom com. Yeah.

I got into a car the other day and it had heat on and it felt good to step into the heat.

I just thought, like, it's too soon for this. Yeah. See you soon.

I love the crispier I, I hope someday many years from now when I die, it's just sitting outside in the crisper. I did that this morning when I put I was like a real Philly scumbag. I took a chair and I sat it right in front of the apartment. We were like in in a townhouse.

I just sat on the sidewalk. I just sat in a chair on the sidewalk for an hour, just like looking at people passing by.

Yeah, all I needed was a hose, just like hose kids as they walk by, like, get out of here, scram. I felt great. I like the crispier at night, not a fan during the day. It should be hot and cold that way. When we watch, you want to watch, we watch Sunday Night Football. You get the steaming heads and you get the you get the steam coming out of the mouth when people exhale.

I love that. I don't like seeing hot air at night.

No, I need crisp air all the time. All right. That's our show.

I think we missed we didn't miss anything. Right. That's it. That's so when you think about the big major sports going on, we got basketball. We talked a little bit of hockey. We mentioned hockey at least.

Oh, yeah. All the stars stars look awesome and still seems Jenga today.

We're talking about today is playing sport, but people are playing me.

You and Jake are playing on Thursday rivalry week. OK, let's go every week. All right. So, yeah, that's our show.

We love you guys. Billy, do you have any fun facts about school? Thank you, Mr. Commentor, the 20 20 U.S. Open is in the books, and let's just say it was a huge few days for the course, 143 of the 144 players in the field failed to shoot under par at Winged Foot and only 29 players shot turnover or better.

Quick reminder that, quote, I root for the course and quote, Hats are available exclusively on stored up barstool sports larcombe right now.

Bryson DeChambeau, Hank Bleep that nayana name out emerge victorious to his first ever major. However, many are questioning the validity of this one, as two time U.S. Open champion Brooks Koepka did not participate due to injury. Get well soon. Blake, that's your PMC PGA Sunday night update.

We will see you all on Wednesday. Just recently. Do you remember? He. It's pardon my take presented by barstool sports.