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Let's be legends, as always, on today's Pardon my take week for NFL Recap, week four, fastest two minutes. Deon Sanders will give away our our first quarter of the year awards. Yeah, we probably won't, but that's something that we have to say that will do. We absolutely will. We have an updated ranking on Drew Brees. Washed or not? He's not. Fuck, I just ruined it.
Yeah, we'll get to every single game, recap every game, little NBA finals, maybe a fine. Maybe we got a finals on our hands. Or maybe we have what we've been looking for Friday night clincher for the Lakers that we don't have to talk about next Monday.
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Yep. Yep. Oh. We start in Cincinnati, where Paul Blart Mall Security Guard Nermin Shoe took the one in two Jaguars to meet the two and one Bengals playing Whitey Higgins said, Hey there, Maroney. What's it like in Cincinnati? Your seat is getting hotter because the chili makes your butt splatter. Yes, it does. Joe Wheelbarrow put his nuts in his wagon and brought the Bengals to the win column. Bengals thirty three. Jaguars twenty five.
Yep, yep, yep.
I went to the big D where Jarvis Land is your Landry hit the reform blue guy Matthew Dellavedova back them for six and the Browns were up and running KD Wham bam Thank you I am trying to keep the Cowboys in it went to its course but Dhanush goes to jail. Johnson led that Cleveland rushing attack which was Stefanski in downhill all afternoon, forcing Jerry Jones to hit a different kind of slump tonight, if you know what I'm saying. Teach talking cocaine boom the Browns victory in one oh forty nine thirty eight in Miami where decoy Metcalf hauled in a bunch of wounded ducks.
And Chris Carson City, Nevada, made the Seahawks a good gamble on Sunday. DeVonté McCoy, no matter what, Parker lit up the secondary and it may be time for the Dolphins to tag Leveaux their draft day CU quarterback in shark killing in the name of Rage Against the Machine and said some of those workforces are the same that kill porpoises. Birds on parade Seahawks. Thirty two dolphins.
Twenty four Totaro pirates on parade downtown Houston, where the Johnson and Johnson backfield try to watch the only three off the Texans. But David and Duke were canceled by the Internet, only to be taken over by the Twitter trend. Let Dalvin Cook Justin Thomas Jefferson help the Vikings offense declared their independence from Hunter, Great Britain Colquitt The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of below. Laborites Vikings thirty one. Toxteth twenty three. It really smart.
Boom. I took classes at Brown University. It's not an Ivy Bridge Brown University in Tampa Bay where, in the words of my good friend Belinda Carlisle, who Brady got receivers at work, Mike Evans is finally on her. Scottie doesn't know that Tom Brady must be getting away with cheating again. Miller was one of five touchdown passes for Tom. Terrific. And Justin Sherbert was pretty chill, but melted down late in the fourth, giving the Bucs the victory.
Thirty eight. Thirty one. Yep.
Left in the house of Dwayne Haskins, the QB said, pack it up, Papillon. Let me begin. Lamar came to win. We picked off Bob Griffin verbal mainstage Washington. Mark Ingram, Baltimore. Derrick Henry, Lamar Odom. Jackson was running like he was on some gas station boner pills fucking his way through the Washington defense like a long weekend at the runni ranch. Gravens Thirty one, the Washington football team. Seventeen. Hey, hey, hey, boom.
What's that? Huge, big, big levels to levels on levels level. Trust, trust, trust that in Chicago where they're playing the Nick Folsom Prison Blues as the Bears wide receivers haven't seen Sunshine and I don't know when and Johnny Cash Taylor was dressed in black for Matt Nagy's funeral. Ron Rebo Blankenship totin for field goals as the Bears took in pounding 1911.
Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston Dowman, no such a fine sight to see, it's a Coach Malone wasting Matt Stafford. Matt, Patricia, coaches like a. Come on, Trey. Quong cooking like bacon and your old ones making pancakes is front page. Don ST's, thirty five, twenty nine, and we finished in Vegas, where Big Sean McDermott said, Little Grutness bitch, I'm fucking with you, Jockstrap. Baron Cohen said the Raiders defense is good, not as a satire of the secondary late Sunday.
Daryn, I wish I was a little bit Wohler. My Curie's hands can get much smaller, put up eighty eight yards in a losing effort and knock on wood if you lost two in a row because no one's circling the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.
So starting the year. I heard your voice, you're going to lose your voice. Good, I got a great throat, big cat. Oh, is that when we do the fur?
I always do the real and I feel it like two days later, I'm like, Yeah, what is that, Coco?
You know, I started smoking when I got the coco. No, I just said Raider's on Sunday night. Do you have the Coco at 1:00 in the morning.
I confirmed not Coco. I'm so mad that we finally came up with Coco.
Someone came. Someone tweeted me. Trump got the coco. And I was like, how have we not been calling it the Coco? So much better than Roen when you're angry is the Cocoa Puffs.
Yeah. Let me get some of that cocoa. Yeah, it's probably good that we don't call it that because then I would want to get it. Yeah. It sounds just would be like would stop showing up with the cocoa.
I'm about 14 days. Got the cocoa stealer's Titans aren't playing this week. Cocoa contact. Trace this. All right. Week for week for almost almost like we got a bonus Monday night bonus.
Monday night game.
Because of the cocoa, the chiefs and patriots going to play at seven o'clock and then the Falcons in the Packers playing at eight fifty. Very excited for the bonus Monday night game week for. We'll start with Sunday night. I didn't think this wasn't that great of a week, like the first three weeks it felt, oh my God, football's back. This was amazing. Like, we had some amazing games in the first three weeks. This one was kind of like, hey, it won't be the most memorable still football, but it was the most memorable because the afternoon games are stuck.
So I wanted to hibernate. When I was watching the afternoon games, there were all all all three of them. Well, I guess the Raiders Bills game was pretty chilling. It was Josh there was the Josh factor. But the the other two games, the Rams, Giants and the Bears going up against Philip Rivers, that was it. Put me to sleep. I will get to the Bears. But I actually walked away from it being like, I don't like football.
I don't I just don't like it. And then the Eagles and 49ers played and I liked it again. So it was like it was like watching preseason week two. It was terrible. It was terrible. So we'll start with Sunday night, the the first place, one, two and one. Philadelphia Eagles I love at the end of the broadcast when Al Michaels, like you all laughed at Doug Peterson last week playing for the tie, that tie came in handy.
He's back like Doug Peterson playing chess. Well, everyone else is playing checkers. The eyes get you to first play the football team, even though they're point five games behind, they still have a game in hand against the Eagles. There you go. So I think that Washington probably still has the advantage down the stretch.
All right. So that game I mean, the Eagles save their season, they save their season.
And it's because Carson Wentz doesn't listen to the radio. Yeah, he doesn't. The funniest part was when they were doing the intros at the beginning, they were talking about the storylines going into it and they said how Al Michaels absolutely loves Carson Wentz because he does not listen to sports talk radio.
So I usually think it's full of shit when a player says that. But the minute I saw that picture of Carson Wentz the The Duck massacre, when he killed, like 700 ducks and shingled his his barn with it, huh. That's not a guy that listens to sports talk radio.
No, he's probably a caller to sports talk radio. Oh, that. He's probably the guy that that calls in. It's him and eat that pussy on lines one and two. And they're both bitching about how the Eagles don't have any weapons. I see.
I think if you're if you're a big hunter, you're a country music guy and also just drive in silence, guy, maybe listen to the traffic guys. Yeah, just right. You put the scanner on and you wait until it gets to the traffic and weather reports. You figure out how long it's going to take you to get to your hunting cabin.
Big hunters, they definitely will just drive out. They'll just start driving west and never turn on the radio and just be with their thoughts and think of, like the elk they're about to kill.
I'm gonna go follow the sun on the open road. Right. Chase the sun.
So biggest winner, Eagles second biggest winner, Jimmy Garoppolo, because there was a lot of talk about possibly Nick Vollans running the offense the same or better the most from us.
Yeah, I think we found out that's not true. And we love Nick Mullins. He's listening to the show. So we're not going to say anything bad about him except for the fact what the fuck were you doing, dude, with that pick six and then our guy, Greg Kittel.
Holy fucking shit he is.
Do you want to know? Stolen. He had fifteen catches. Right. Fifteen targets. Fifteen catches. One hundred eighty three yards and a touchdown. Pretty good. Every single ball that came to him. And my favorite Kittel thing is when he'll catch the ball going like towards the sideline and the defender will always bite and he'll just stop and stiff arm the fuck out of them and get like an extra five yards. Yeah. Because you know that he's not going out of bounds back.
Why do you ever think that he's he's not Ted Ginn. I know he's on the team last year, but this is not a man that enjoys a sideline this. He would rather get tackled by six guys than walk out of bounds and calmly jog back to the huddle. Right. And what I like about quarterbacks that play with them, they are the same way that we are his fans. I think quarterbacks throw the ball so much to Greg Kittle because they want to see him run with the ball because it's awesome.
Yes. Like Nickman sees him and he's kind of open or he could take a long shot. He's like, you know what, I'd rather throw it to Greg and then watch Greg go punch six people's molas out. Right.
And then he did he did the thing tonight where he's he's it's becoming the Kittel where he throws, like three guys off of him. It takes five guys to tackle him and he gets a face mask on top. So like they have to they have to cheat to try to bring him down. That's how much of a man he is. Yeah, but Carson Wentz, we should talk about the Eagles because Carson Wentz did save their season. He still doesn't look great, but he looked good.
He made the big plays and he made big plays. He threw that in very Eagles fashion. This like iteration of the Eagles.
That guy form Fulgham, Fulgham, Fulgham, who the fuck is a very slow name? Everyone is like, who is that? And how did he just catch the biggest touchdown to save our season? Old Dominion round six, pick one eighty four. There you go.
That's a guy that Al Michaels, you know, he just he was dying to say that guy's name tonight. That's an Al Michaels last name. Fogel. Yeah.
Also, he was picked he was drafted in to. 19, he's 25 years old. OK, so he was like he was a super senior, he did a victory lap in college while the Van Wilder of Old Dominion University.
Yeah, he was a BYU wide receiver who didn't play for BYU, but that that guy saved the season. The Eagles, you know, obviously it's still only four games in, but that's such a huge win for the Eagles that you thought was like they were dead men walking going out west. And they have to play the Steelers next week, which ain't going to be so easy, especially because the Steelers are on their kokabee.
That's right. Yeah. The Niners were also they're missing a lot of people. So, of course, head injuries. Yes. Like a depleted team.
But I mean, that's that's the most Eagles way to frame this of all time. Like, you know, there were two teams that were both dealing with depleted rosters. They had to win this one. So, yeah, the Eagles, I guess they're technically in first place right now.
The Eagles probably hate to hear that the Niners were injured because being down in Philadelphia the last few weeks, the Eagles fans, maybe most passionate fans in all football, like in terms of just like piss and vinegar, that means drunk the drunkest fans.
Yeah, they and this is confirmed by our friend Smitty and Roanne, our colleagues, the Eagles fans think that the Philadelphia Eagles are the only team that ever gets injured. Yes. Like there's no other injuries in the NFL except to the Eagles.
Yeah, they do have a hilarious roster make up, though, where like, either they're only good wide receivers are either hurt or just they completely forgot to learn how to catch the ball in the off season. And having those two things go hand in hand for Eagles fans, it just makes them the most exasperated, which is why I was looking for a little something to get the blood going with Eagles fans. Now they're going to be all like, you know, sunshine and roses going to this.
We got yeah, everything's fine.
Doug, Doug Peterson is a genius because he taught him. All right. Next game, Browns. Cowboys, do you want to start with the Browns? The Cowboys. Let's start with the Browns. OK, nice for the Browns, Browns three and one start, which feels like forever that they've been three and one. They have a distinct identity that works for some reason. Freddy Kitchens couldn't figure this out last year. Kevin Stefanski has. If you run the ball with the Browns and you have Baker move the pocket and not have to throw fifty times a game, you're going to be a good football team.
They ran it for three hundred and seven yards and oh yeah, they, they remembered that Odell Beckham, when right is, I don't know, top three most electric guys in the NFL that that touchdown that he had, I would say maybe Tyreek Hill.
I'm trying to think of the list of guys that would get that touchdown and then the ninety nine point nine percent of guys that would have that be like a ten year loss.
Hmm. Yeah. Tyreek Hill is definitely I'd say like probably two or three other chiefs, maybe likes to Shaun Jackson do Prime.
Yeah, but like Santana Moss in his prime, it's a very short list of guys that can do what Odell Beckham did on that play to take a play that looked like it was going to be, like I said, a ten yard loss to a fifty yard touchdown where he just ran past it.
Yeah, it goes back to the old the old Hue Jackson days in Cleveland where he was trying to figure out he was struggling, laboring all night, trying to figure out how to get the ball to Nick Chubb more to get him more involved. It's like, well, you just call handoffs. Yeah, that's one way that you can do it. But Stefanski learned obviously Chubb, I think he would have had he would have had quite a few more yards.
He probably would have gone over one hundred if he stayed in. But he's hurt. That's going to be bad for the Browns if it's more serious than than they're thinking it might be. But, yeah, the rushing attack is awesome. Odell has got he's got the blond hair back. Yeah. Which is nice. You know, he's feeling himself a little bit too earnest. Johnson.
Yeah. Great name, amazing name. Awesome name.
Jarvis Landry through look like he was throwing it from center field. Yeah. With the full body wind up for a dime to Odell Beckham. How wide receiver. Wide receiver touchdowns to the best. Yeah. And the power was the king of those.
It looks like they're having fun, which is something that you hardly ever see in the city of Cleveland. So it's going to go back. It's going to go well. I think this is the year for the Browns. It's going to be. Yeah, this is the year. Get the tattoo already. I'm sure that somebody out there has a Cleveland Browns twenty twenty NFL championship or winter tattoo on their forearm.
Well, good news for the Browns as they get the Colts in the Steelers. Next, who are two of the top five defenses in the NFL?
So do you have to add Jarvis Landry's name to the back of that jersey? What, that you cross?
Oh, yeah. Who's fantastic? Who's one for one? So he's so it's him and Baker. Yeah. On like the small, the back, the the money shot area.
I'm excited for the Browns though, because that was what they did. Like when you run for that many yards, it's hard to be like we're not the better team and their defense has holes in their defense. Look back.
Well, especially on the end around that Odell had there were like five or six guys that probably should have tackled.
Yes, well, no, no, I'm talking about the Browns. Defense has the Browns. Yeah, no, no, we haven't got the Cowboys yet. The Browns defense. You know, Myles Garrett is great, but it's clear that they have some issues at times. Hopefully they can. Fix that, because the Browns being good would be awesome for football, so their safety sendejo is the one that Browns fans hate right now. And every time you hear him talk like Jeff, dilo is screaming, God damn it, send to hell on just about every play.
It's great when you have a defensive back like that that has a cool sounding name. Yeah. That you can always remember. OK, everything that just happened that's bad is this guy's fault until proven otherwise.
He's never been on part of my take. We interviewed him at the Super Bowl. Courageous. Very nice guy. Yes, there's a reason why it did great. That's a part of my take. But yeah, it's great. Great guy, great guy. Even better off the field than on the field. Firecracker of a person. Yeah.
All right. Let's talk about the Cowboys. Let's talk about the let's talk about the Cowboys. So. Let's go small we go, let's go big, no small picture that I have of some big picture thoughts, OK? All right, small picture there. Defense is is a joke. It's very bad. It's very bad. Dak Prescott has to basically throw for five, 500 yards just to keep them in the game.
It's interesting you bring that up again because I've got my tinfoil hat on. I think Dak Prescott is paying off the defense to be shitty so that he can put up these huge numbers and he's like, hey, trust me, I'll pay you guys back when I get that contract. Right now, he's on pace. I think he's on pace to throw like fifty five hundred yards. Yeah. This year, which would break Peyton Manning's. No, no.
Peyton Manning's record is 5500. Prescott's on pace for sixty seven hundred yards. One and three. Yeah well not his fault. We're not his fault.
His, his defense. I don't. The only thing I could think of to fix is Mike Nolan has put the suit back on. Absolutely. He's got to put it for people who are maybe this actually might date us here. That was like mid mid 2000s. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, but that might date us. Like, if you're twenty years old, you were probably five years old.
Right. One more. The Suso might. Nolan's dad was a coach in the NFL. It was a combo's.
Him and Jack Del Rio. Yep. Both wanted to give like a little hot tip to the old days, like the Vince Lombardi, the Tom Landry suit wearing coaches.
And they did it. And it looks ridiculous.
I thought it looked awesome like Nolan. He wore like a three piece suit. You were on the side more than Mike Pereira in the booth, like he had the vest going and everything. That's going to be worth at least two points. A game on defense. Yes, absolutely. Like, any time I see a guy in a suit, I automatically think that there's a chance that that person could fire me. Yes, it just speaks authority.
All right. So Mike Nolan, it was he they had to change the rule. Twenty six. So we are dating her. So this fourteen years ago, Mike, knowing they had to change the rule and basically be like, no, this is ridiculous. You can't you have to wear like the game issued, you know, gear.
But he and Jack del Rio, I thought I was like, they could do it like once or twice, twice a game. Took two home games a year. And Jack Del Rio, that's the famous picture, Jack Del Rio and the fucking sweet ass leatherjacket on the sidelines. That was tight. But yeah, Mike, no one's got to bring back the suit. That's all I have to bring it back, because otherwise I don't I don't know what you do.
If you're the only way you can get in a tie now is to punt the ball at the end overtime. Yeah, that's what they're saying. Yes. All right. So big picture. Big picture.
Oh, one playing with a heavy heart for Chris Christie. Yes. Yes. Super fan.
Terry Jones was was struggling. One of the things Mike McCarthy just needs to be repeated one more time that he spent the entire off season, Earth's entire season when he didn't coach telling everyone that he got a subscription to pro football focus and then he learned analytics and then.
No, none of that. I think Mike McCarthy, I think there's a chance that he's been using some of those analytics now. He's just he's got to be totally out on computers.
But Mike McCarthy, I don't know what Myles Garrett, his player grade is off the top, my head on pro football focus, but I do know you probably shouldn't single block him and not with a tight end or a rookie.
Yep. Which he did or might have been a backup. But either way, I don't think that that's probably that's probably not in the analytics. Mike McCarthy, so big picture cowboys. We still in the NFC East is a shit show, so they're not like dead, but. I'm starting to think that, like, this will go down as one of the worst uses of like a championship window that any team has ever had.
You could say that about the Cowboys for the last 20 years, but this especially because they struck gold with Dak Prescott, his contract in his contract. And they essentially Jerry Jones. And I love it because it's wildly entertaining. If you ever ask yourself, like, how would I do as a GM? Well, I've been playing fantasy football for the last 15 years. You would be Jerry Jones because Jerry Jones essentially in the last few years has said, I want to pay my quarterback, pay my running back, pay my wide receiver, get another wide receiver.
He's building a fantasy football team and then nothing on the defense and hope it works out.
He's doing the opposite of what the Eagles are doing, right. That's that's what he's going for. And then he even though he has like a stock set of offensive weapons, he's still going into the draft. And he's like, I want you to bring me the fastest receiver in the big 12. And the fat, his his binder is just like the fastest player from from Georgia. Yeah.
And the fastest player like Oklahoma Baylor to you. And he just looks at those is like, yeah, these are my guys. I can win with these guys.
Jerry Jones was mad that they lost, but he also went to sleep tonight being like, if we get a top 10 pick, I'm going to take Jalen Wadle from Alabama and we're going to be the fastest. We're going to marry Cooper, Jalen Wadle and Keadilan.
So in Jerry's mind, the fastest way to win is to score a bunch of points. Right now, all he has to do is just decrease the amount of points. He's got his team on offense, exactly where he wants them to be. Yes. But he doesn't realize the steps that he needs to take to make the defense any better at all. Right.
Which you could make the argument that it's not a terrible strategy in today's NFL where offense is king, but it is just hilarious. You're going to look back and be like, so they got Dak Prescott, who's a top ten quarterback in the fourth round, paying him nothing. And they won nothing. They won. Did they want a playoff game? Yeah, they won one. Yeah, right. They beat the Lions. No, it wasn't Lions, I don't think.
No, that was one that that was the Dez didn't catch it year.
Oh shit. Who did they beat. The Seahawks. Was it the Seattle Seahawks ran the ball. That's right. That was, that was the start of the day loss to the Rams.
I think I might be getting that right. You're Meyssan. Hold on. Hold on. So JSW versus Seahawks win twenty eighteen and then lost that. Rams thirty twenty two. There you go.
So they got one so they struck gold like every team would give their fucking left not to get a quarterback in the fourth round.
That's a franchise quarterback.
This is probably a game that Jerry Jones wakes up to though, because in his mind, like the Browns are always going to be the worst team in the NFL. Right. He's he's been around the NFL for long enough where, like, he does not accept the fact that the Browns might be decent this year. So he's losing at home to the Browns in front of my quarter filled stadium. That is that might be like a big enough embarrassment that he might get down on the sidelines next game.
Yeah, he might start peson.
Yes. They're just floating. I don't think he walks anymore. I think you just kind of like hovers.
I think Mike Nolan is going to get fired just because he's going to be like, look up the analytics, not know. He's going to try to log on to pro football, focus, realize he never got a new subscription and be like, well, I got to fire Mike Nolan.
He probably got the free trial. Yeah. And now it's like he can't access any of the good stuff. And then he's like, Mike, what's my password to Mike's like, well, you never paid for. He's like, you're fired.
He just followed it on Twitter. Yeah, that's all he did Instagram and seems like the player Grace. That's all he did. All right.
Next up, ST's lines, who I guess that kind of stat from my own brain that I went looked up the lions stink.
If every single Lions game was ten minutes long, they'd be Forno with a point differential of thirty four to zero.
Yeah, the Ravens need to schedule the Lions. That would be the perfect medicine for him right now.
The the lions coming out and going up fourteen nothing and being like damn, look at the lions. Here they come like they won last week in Arizona can go back and then it felt like a zero zero game when the Lions were up by 14 points.
Yeah. So, so the Saints then ripped off five straight touchdowns to go up 35 2014. And you say to yourself, well, that must have been a disaster for the Lions. Like pick six, fumble everything. No, the the Saints went seventy five yards, 80 yards, 80 yards. Forty nine yards. Seventy five yards. Those are their five touchdown drives. They just, they just fucking crushed the Lions defense like they it was no fluke play.
It was. No like we're giving the game away. The Lions defense is pathetic. The Saints went ten for fourteen on third down.
Well offensive guru Matt Patricia can't be blamed for all that. I mean, he did he did have that playing in the Super Bowl. We need to mention that. Yeah, he did. He prepared. I think so, yes. He's single handedly won the Patriots, the Super Bowl.
Ernie Adams is probably reads that quote was like you mother, like that was all me.
Yet he was probably like. Quality control and defense, given the title of defensive coordinator. But it's really just Ernie Adams with an earpiece talking to him down in the side. Yes, tell him exactly what to do. We talked about the same stat that they have not they have not failed to cover spread. They've covered every spread in October in the last four years, not since 2015, 15, 20 weeks since 2000.
Continues is the last time they didn't cover. They are now 17 and one straight up in the month of October since twenty fifteen weeks. That's insane. It makes sense to me.
I mean, they start slow, start a little bit slow. Sean Payton seems like a big Halloween guy, but he seems a guy that goes to seven or eight costume parties again. No, not Candy.
That that would be post Halloween. I'm talking about like he seems like a guy that makes his wife dress up is like seven different cats for every party that he goes. Yes. He's like, yeah, he probably makes her dress up as Taysom Hill. So I love that you have that look on your face.
He seems like a like a 1920s mobster guy. Yes. Or his Halloween party with a Tommy gun in a in a pinstripe suit.
Yeah. He's like, who are you? Yeah.
I'm Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy Siegel or Al Capone or fill in the blanks blank. Brees, Scarface. Yeah, whatever may be. So my Drew Brees is he washed or not. Update not washed. Not he's clean. Clean, not washed anymore because he played the lines. Defense. OK, I still think like Drew Brees and I guess you can say this for pretty much every quarterback.
So I'm probably being hard on him, but I have different expectations when there's no pass rush and guys are running open. Clean, right? Yeah. It's my whether that happens in the in the playoffs, I don't know my Matt.
Patricia washed or not washed up. It is not washed certainly from a hygiene standpoint. Yeah.
So is you going to be the first one fired. I don't know. Whatever happened to Jimbo Khutor. Remember him. Yeah. Like Jim Bob Cooter. He came in as an interim coach. He was hot. And then I think he he went probably like two and two went five hundred. He was the hot new name. Can we just get him back? I feel like Jimbo Cooter was was the future for the Lions.
The the my prediction for the Lions. So they're going to fire Matt. Patricia, I think Matt Stafford is going to go somewhere else and win a playoff game when one playoff game. Playoff game. Hmmm.
Where would where would Matt Stafford go? I don't know, but it would seem that's like not great, but close your eyes and just think about it like there will be in maybe two years, three years, whatever it may be, a Sunday Night football game. And at halftime they'll have like a sit down piece, Michelle Tafoya with Matt Stafford, and he's talking about how he's so happy in his new city and everything's going so well. And it's just great in, like, subtle shots at like, hey, the Lions organization really fucked me because they're lions.
I would say he would seem like a an Arizona cardinal that they bring in, but they got Kyler Murray. So it's probably not going to be them Washington football team. Maybe they're I take them.
Yeah, I would take them and we'd run them, but yeah. I'd take them. Why not.
Yeah. And you know what I can say that it's not I feel really I do feel bad for Lions fans. They, they don't deserve this. Our friend Isaac said he would like to call in to a show and just fart into the mike and that will be the Lions recap.
And I was like, yeah, that's I would allow that. Yeah.
We have so much more cogent recap than we could do because it's bad. I mean, Lions fans are passionate, put man.
And this this game was also almost not played. Yeah. Because the Saints had a fullback that gave a false positive test for covid like the night before. So Sean Payton had the entire team staying up until 3:00 a.m. doing these checks that will clear him and make sure that they can all play the next day, which sounds if you're one of his players, it sounds like, oh, here goes another one of Sean Penn's weird motivational techniques where they're going to send a nurse into my room and swab my nose is tell me.
Oh, it's it's it's symbolic of keeping your nose clean right in.
And Matt Stafford is too thick for them playing this game. He had the false positive over the summer that made the Matt Stafford rule worse. Like, it's insane that if we have one test and he takes another one, he's negative. They have to sit out.
So I just look probably is pissed that that happened because then the Saints came in.
They did that.
I just looked it up. Right now, the the Ravens do not play the Lions. They could play in the Super Bowl this year. But that would be the ultimate team for the Ravens to play. They would get that jinx off their back immediately. Yes. Come back by the end of the first quarter. They will have they will have righted that ship. Yes.
So good news is for your Lions fans, Jaguars, Falcons, next to that Falcons Lions game is going to be like hot potato.
Who wants to have the lead last? Yeah, I don't use this.
You just you do it. The Falcons in the Cowboys should play every single week. It would be great to see track meet. Yeah, I love that phrase. It's a track. Meet up this a track.
Meet Cooter, the running backs coach of the New York Jets. Oh, he's going, oh, yeah, that's fucking, I think, hyperdrive baby Le'Veon Bell up this year. All right.
Next up, Seahawks, Dolphins, Seahawks, this was I thought this game was going to get weird. It did for a second the Seahawks who were like insane. I think there were ten for ten in the red zone leading up this four touchdowns. They had a little problems. I think they had, I think, rush through a pick in the end zone. So did get weird for a second. But ultimately, that's one of those wins where it wasn't pretty.
But who the fuck cares? Because you just went all the way across country and played Fitz Magic, who can always be scrappy. Yeah, but I think it might be done for our guy.
It's yeah. At the end of Fitzpatrick is here. It's so it's not he can go somewhere. Yeah. He did enough to give the NFC East teams, they make another team.
He had planned the Patriots Jokic would absolutely love to have he.
I just love everything that makes him like the reason why. And I know people will joke like oh this guy can't get a job. Cavanaugh can't carry like Fitzpatricks the perfect backup quarterback because one he's just like he seems like a fun guy to be around in two he is like so volatile.
That's kind of what you want.
Like I'd rather have that than a guy come in and be like, all right, well, he's going to throw I don't know, you know, eleven for twenty four, one hundred and ten yards. And we're going to lose twenty to thirteen. Yeah.
I mean this would be the last frontier for Belichick, right. If he for whatever reason, like Cam Newton doesn't work out in New England, Belichick can be like, OK, well, I had Brady for a while. He was my nice stable one that that I that I committed my life to. Then I got to try running quarterback. I've always wanted to try that position. That was fun.
And then after Cam, it's like the wild stallion of the AFC East. Can I tame him? Yes.
Like, will I be able to win a Super Bowl with a quarterback? I that throws four interceptions. Yes.
And gets his helmet knocked off six times a game. Let's do it. I mean, he's greatest coach of all time. If he's able to go if he's able to go nine and seven with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yeah, that's more impressive than going eighteen and one I love. I love Ryan Fitzpatrick.
When he does the I'm going to put like you can see it on his face, he puts every single last piece of energy into a throw and it's usually a guy who's like triple covered. He's like, I can just get it there. And you can just see on his face it like his whole body is strained, everything he's putting, everything that he has into it. And then he needs like a breather for a little bit. But there's something about it's magic, even when the magic isn't going that you just got to tip your hat.
It's still fun to watch. And he's switched up. I've been watching it this year. I don't think he's run over any tiny defensive backs anymore. Now he's running over linebackers. Yeah, he's getting bored in his old age. He's I want to I want to hit some of the heavies out there, mano a mano.
And and when he runs them over, he always he is the first one to get up. Yeah. That's that's what he's really good at is Ryan Fitzpatrick will always stand up on his two feet before the person that tackled him gets up.
He lets them know, you know, he has like a deal with his wife. Like I always get up. Yeah, I get when you're watching it with the kids, like I always get, like, you know, what do you think you always get.
What do you think it was like when he was in college at at Harvard? I don't know if you know that, but he went there. I feel like the one the one in Cambridge, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston.
Got it. He doesn't strike me at all as a Harvard guy beyond the fact that he's really smart, can do Rubik's cubes and his son knows his timetables. And he's two years old. Right.
But I don't know, like he doesn't seem like a Harvard man, you know. Do you think he was the alpha of all the Alphas?
I think if you put him on a big H sweat sweater, you'd be like, OK, I get it. Like like this. Yeah. In the way the right way. He looks like a philosophy professor. Yeah.
I, like any definity, didn't have the beard when he was there. Yeah.
Which is something that I'm sure if you saw him not the beard big. Oh right. Right. Kind of a nerd. Yeah. He's got a little like if he got rid of the beard Heynckes right. If you got rid of the beard he's got a little like school ties. Brendan Frazier vibe. A little bit of that. Yeah. But I figured out watching Ryan Fitzpatrick plays football like he's a hockey player. Yeah.
Yes. I'd agree. He's just going full bore bore all the time.
Yes. The name, the, the entire reason that he plays football is just to prove that he's tougher than the people that are trying to hit him. I love it.
I love them also. DK Metcalf, where are we ranking him? Top wide receivers because he's awesome.
I'd say top top three. That's big. That's a crazy draft pick for the Seahawks, the way that it's worked out.
Yeah, he figured out the secret to not dropping the ball on the one on his way to the end zone. That's just not score. He's just get tackled before you get to the end zone. If he was half a step quicker than I think he would have had a touchdown today. But he's he's as he's learned to turn, he's lost that straight ahead. Speed. Yeah.
Do you see Russell Wilson? He did throw an interception. So I'm officially taking away my MVP vote.
OK, I'm giving it I'm giving mine to Josh Allen. I'm not giving him one.
OK, so sorry. Also next year, fun one fun note. The Seahawks had zero penalties. Oh, that is fun.
Yeah, a little fun stuff. Very fun. All right, next up, Charger's bucks, Tom Brady throwing it back, Tom Brady not only throwing it back with the five touchdowns, but the fact that he threw it to five different guys, which is the ultimate Tom Brady in a duel with Justin Herbert, who look good.
I'm going to just stay biased and say I don't like him. That's fine. I'll also admit he looked good until that last point.
He looked good at times. He's he's on a fast track to getting he's not going to get any of the poise notes. No one is going to be like, oh, this guy has tremendous poise in the pocket when when the chips are down because he is liable to make those wildcat throws and just like, absolutely fuck everything up because he thinks he can throw past any defender. He's going to start getting the Brett Favre comparisons the way too early comparisons.
Yeah. So all says he looks good. Chargers fans should be happy, but oh, and three is a starter. So QB wins when I count.
Jubera had a win today. Yeah. Justin Herbert did not did not just our Jubera Alpha. Can we just can we just say that Tom Brady definitely had Korona at some point that summer and so did probably all his wide receivers. He just drink he drink water through it?
Yes, that's probably I think that's pretty clear.
Justin Herbert is he's got to he's got to clean up his skin. Oh, OK.
Yeah, that's all. Noxzema French franchise quarterback. That's all.
Like I said, not to be calling coward, but I think he will know I've had pimples. We all had jump. Right. He's young. But once he does that, I'll be like, you know what, I like this guy, OK? It's just kind of a franchise quarterback thing. Just clean up the face a little bit more for Washington sponsors.
I actually think it already is. It's easy. I think it's the easiest like six figure sponsorship. Right, ever. Right.
It's like the it's like looking at Renaldo Arocena, old picture Renaldo, all those teeth his he's all fucked up is like is everything's fucked up.
When you get a little money you start getting hotter. Yeah. Maybe just go to the trainer and be like, hey, can you give me an injection of something. Brady, you get some Accutron Brady and then he just gets stabbed in the brain through here by the trainer Tom Brady.
Looks like a different guy. Totally different guy. I don't know. I just think that, like, once you become a franchise quarterback, you just start, you know, looking a little hotter.
What are those ads that are all over TV where it's always celebrities and it's like, here's my before here's my app? Yeah, I think he's going to do it.
I'm not trying to hate on him because we've all dealt with J.G. Wentworth like there's no. Oh yeah. By the way, shut out. That's very sad. Solino and Barnes are upset. Happy moments. Silence half which one Solino or Barnes Solino know now Barnes. I thought no, I think it was Solino pressure Solino get a fact. Leavesley No, no I think Salerno's dead said died deader than dead very dead heat eight eight eight eight eight. Yeah.
Which one died. Solino Steve Barnes.
Barnes. Oh sorry.
No apologies to the Solino family. If you're listening to this and you didn't know Barnes has passed away. Yes.
They had like a big falling out too. Yeah I know. That's and it's sad that it happened. Right. Like it's fucking bad. Did tragic. Did Solino kill him?
No. He died in a plane crash. Those can be. Yeah, that's very sad.
Yeah. Barnes very sad. I don't know how we got here. Oh, Danny. That had nothing to do with it. Yeah. Everyone in the world, there's no one who is like in the world who has not had Proactiv. That's what it is.
Yeah. They're fucking like there's a couple of people who have perfect skin and fuck them. Like everyone has had to deal with pimples. Everyone has had to deal with acne. It fucking sucks. I'm just saying that, you know, eventually when you become a franchise quarterback, that's the next step I want to see. Forget throwing interceptions, breaking interception of the game. That's my next step.
In fact, in Act Tough got athlete's foot.
It should be Justin Herbert and LeBron James is back. And then they do a proactive commercial together. Right. And then LeBron James is back and he doesn't go away. Right. Right. Because there's other reasons. Yes. That HGH, that's what we're talking about.
But yeah, I'm going to stop hating on Justin Herbert. He was he was doing with with Tom Brady today. He looked good. He was throwing to No. One. Undrafted free agents, I think scored and getting through for touchdowns. Nobody threw four touchdowns. All four were undrafted free agents.
That's fucking impressive. He has looked good. He's gone toe to toe with Tom Brady, toe to toe with Patrick Mahomes.
So, you know, he'll I if I were a Chargers fan, I'd be like, this is something this feels good.
Anthony Lynn loves his balls. Yeah. There's a lot of positive news coming out there. I don't think the Chargers get enough credit for just always having good running back. Yeah. When was last time the Chargers had a bad running back?
Never. It's never happened. Yeah, not in the history of the franchise.
Hey, Sean means business all the time. Name, all time name. So yeah, I think I will. I'm starting to adjust my take on Justin Herbert. I still mad about the Rose Bowl, whatever. I think he's a very good quarterback.
I think he's promising and everything I've seen, although that that I don't know if it was on on him or the running back, but that was the end of the game at the end of the first half, when they're up twenty four to seven and they fumble in their own five yard line and the Bucs turn score with like forty seconds left was on the handoff.
Yeah. We saw it right there in. That's it, you can't you can't make that mistake when you're playing against Tom Brady because it just you won't come back for my own analytics tells me that some quarterbacks are better than others at handoffs. And it's true. Baker Mayfield is a great handoff.
Quarterback Justin Herbert. I don't think he has it. Jimmy Garoppolo Great hand pretty good.
Blake Bortles exceptional handoff. Incredible Yes is one of the fake. Well Jake Plummer Unbelievable. Sells a fake really well. All right so that's Chargers bucks. Are we going to are we going to talk about Tom Brady's pick sixes.
Yeah he's got a little bit of the matchup in him right now so he's thrown I think it's a ten for pick six is in six games.
Well, two of them were in New England. To two of them in New England, where he says four of his last six games to four, so half of those were in New England.
I'm talking about this year, OK, this year, two out of his actually statistically throwing less pick six is these four games he did in the last. Yeah, he's turned the corner.
Is it is it a Tom. What do we talk about. Is it of buccaneer. Is it Tom versus Tom thing. No I father time is undefeated. Hey the weird thing with Tom Brady is he it's like he's not he is aging. You can tell he's different. Threw five touchdowns. Right. Right. That's what I'm saying. Like he's he still has everything. But then he'll have the one or two throws. We're like, what was that.
Yeah. He he needs to stop throwing to the flat across the field.
That's pretty much I think Bruce Arians keeps that in there. What's Yeah. Humble. Yeah. To humble him and to have something so he can rip them in front of the press over the course of the next week.
Doesn't have grit. I'm going to keep making you I'm going to keep making my 43 year old quarterback throw across his body to an out.
I'm going to seven yard out with the cornerback biting Bruce Arians lives his entire life trying to prove a point to somebody about something other times. And this is the point that he's going to hammer home to Tom is you ain't that good.
Yeah, you ain't that good. All right. Before we get to our next game, a quick word from our friends at HBO's.
You got to have your boss. You got to be listening with your boss. I got those right here.
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Speaking of both Joe Burrow, Joe Burrow gets a win. Bengals thirty three. Jaguars twenty five. Joe Mixon is good. They they remember that. Yeah. So that was nice that they actually took some pressure off. Joe, I think that we all as a nation forgot about Joe Mixon.
Yeah, well, I just I filed Joe Mixon away in that little place in my brain that said, I think he's good, but I'm going to wait until he's a running back on the Patriots on the downside of his career to actually pay attention to. Right. But he's he's actually really, really good.
One hundred fifty one yards, two touchdowns. And he changed like Gilberto's been getting the shit kicked out of them. Joe Mixon made it a balance offense. They looked good. Fat Randy is perfect that Randy's perfect. Always we call them fat. He's always been perfect. Yes. Perfect to us. But now he's great.
He's I want to say, like credit to us. We probably are the reason why Randy Bullock has not missed since, because he's like, I don't want to be the topic of conversation on part of my take on a Monday.
I ruined it for Randy's everywhere. So thank you for that. Randy down. No, he's back very buoyant. He and now I'm at the point where when I see Fat Randy getting out there, we shouldn't call him Fat Randy. When I see Randy getting out there like Randall. Yeah, Randall, I'm like, he's got this. Yeah, no problem. He's got everybody's confidence. Yes. Yeah.
I think some of Joe swag is just like slowly dripping on to Fat Randy. Absolutely.
On the whole team. And Joe Brown will get to the football guys a week. But Joe Brown refused the game ball from his first win, which is.
No, he took it. Oh, he took it. And they just put it back in the back.
OK, so perfect.
Who is it that had to was a Harbaugh that Tabone said, I don't want to. Shay Patterson did like the they kept on trying to give it to each other. I think. Look that up, Jake. There was a I want to say it was Harbaugh and Shea Patterson last year.
They basically were like sneaking into each other's backs and like, no, you take it. No, you take it. No, you take that.
One person was like, cut it in half. And then the person who said, no, I love football too much for you to cut it and the game ball belong to that person, I'm pretty sure it was that.
Is that the so we have this every single year and I think we can definitively say it this year. We always have a week one game that we look back and we're like, how did that happen? And I think officially. Jaguars being the Colts is going to be that game. Yeah, like that. No, no, no, no one knows how it we all thought like, oh the Jags might be frisky.
The Colts might be worse than we you know, like they might not be up to the. No, it's the exact opposite. The Colts are legit. And the Jags, they're back to to, you know, Trevor Lawrence.
Well, they just you have to start every single season out with a game that absolutely fucks up everybody. Suicide pool.
Right. And that's what that was like. Wait, that happened in retrospect. That was right. Play. I would do it again. Yeah. Like the Colts are going to win eleven games. The Jags are going to win three. You're going to be like, guess what, the Jags beat the Colts week one. Oh, another guy that we forgot about in addition to Joe Mixon on that Bengals team. Tee Higgins. Yeah. Tee Higgins.
Well because he's wearing eighty five. Yeah. And I like that. Not a fast number but also you took out those number extremely fast.
Name. Yes. Tee Higgins. I would say like him. KD Lamb, Hollywood Brown Jerry Judy Cooper Kupp is a very fast name. Yeah. We're just naming fast guys. Blake Martinez is fast name. Tyreek Hill. Yeah. Trey Flowers. Oh don't back those same bolts. Yeah.
Max Crosby is a fast name. Was Oscar Pistorius extremely fast name.
We didn't need a documentary about Oscar Pistorius. I don't want to go to the side here, but like we didn't need that. Where's that.
It's on like ESPN plus and they're showing pictures and videos of like his girlfriend's like it's like it's four part.
I think that was when they got they got an Oscar, probably O.J. Simpson. And they're like, you know what, we're going to murder. We're going to do some more murder. Yeah.
Some more, you know, girlfriend, spouse, murder. I saw like the preview for us.
No one asked for four parts about Oscar Pistorius.
That was maybe a eight minute 60 Minutes check in like ten years.
I think that we could do with two fewer parts of Oscar Pistorius than that.
Fifteen. I'll give you 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes, tops. I'll watch. Tell us, how about Oscar Pistorius murdered his girl. I watch it. Tick tock about the Oscar Pistorius.
Don't need don't need the four parter. Thank you, ESPN plus. But I'm good. Put it on Kibbie. Yeah, we'll never find it. That's totally free. I do put it on tick tock. Mm hmm. We'll have there November 16th.
Twenty nineteen. Before the final nail, Jim Harbaugh told Shea Patterson he deserved the game ball. Patterson chose to give it the ball once the game ended. And now it's back in Patterson's possession after Harbaugh says he put it in his book back.
I love it. I remember it correctly. That's such a great story. Pass it back and forth. All right. Next up, the Ravens versus the Washington football team. The Ravens are back. They pumped an inferior opponent. Yep. Like they were supposed to. Yep. Ron Rivera actually gave me a great spin zone because they asked him about how he was using his timeouts in the Cardinals game and then in the Cleveland Browns game when he didn't take his time out.
Well, the clock was ticking down when they could have made it, you know, a one score game. The game wasn't over. But Rivera said that he's just in evaluation mode. Right. Which is perfect because he's just he's just watching. He's, like taking the team out for a test drive this year. Yeah. It takes all expectations off them whatsoever. You just seen what they can do on the open road, maybe like pulling up next to Amir, look at it himself, see how he looks in the car.
Really like taking a feel of the entire franchise. So that to me just tells me I don't I should have zero expectation for the season. And that's extremely freeing. Yes.
I'm also as a fan, I'm in evaluation mode. Yeah. You're in today. I'm a I'm evaluating what happened today. We had one of the best teams in the NFL come to our place. We held them to covering the spread, pushing it. And then when the game was over, we were in first place in the NFC East. That's true. No longer. But yes, we did all that we could do to maintain that. I like that.
It is free. You are free. You had to the week, you had it perfectly that you got the week one high. Yeah. Where you're like this team is better than people are giving credit for. And then you were able to within three weeks be like, nope, we're good, we're going to evaluate.
I still think they're going to be in the hunt in the NFC East is so bad that you guys are going to be in the hunt no matter what your record is. Yeah, you're going to be better off.
You're going to have five wins. And I'm like, well, we're we're one game out as I see.
RG three. Yeah. RG three got in there at the end. Ruin the spread for everybody who had the Ravens, their punter's throwing first downs and their quarterback is throwing punches. Yeah, it was a nice little gym.
It was classic John Harbaugh special teams, SIM coach, the punter for the Ravens, seven for seven in his career as a passer.
Damn that's pretty damn good. That is really that's pretty damn good.
So the interesting thing in this game, because I feel like we're on we mentioned on Friday, like, are we going to be seeing Alex Smith, Kyle Allen soon? Is Ron Rivera getting fed up with Dwayne Haskins? I feel like we were a drive away. We were drive away today because it started he went punt turnover, punt missed field goal. And I think that if the next.
Rajiv had been bad, that would have been at 4pm, he went on 75 yard touchdown drive and saves his job, which it's it's thrilling for me to think about, like how close you were to. That's it. That's how the quarterback position is in the NFL, that if you have a shot and you lose your first shot, it's very hard to come back and like, be a starter again, be a good you know what I mean? Like, it's crazy.
It is. And it's unfair as it is that can happen where it could be. He could have literally been a drive away from the career that he thought he was going to have being completely over. And he saved a lot of people.
Forget about Alex Smith when he was on the 49ers and he almost got benched. Mike Singletary wanted to bench tried to bench him during a game and they had an all time moment where they just stood on the sidelines just staring into each other's eyes. And Samurai Mike was just like trying to get, like, figure out like, what's in your what's your mom? Are you are you competitor? And he got stared down by Alex Smith on the sidelines. He's like, OK, get back in there.
And he was like one stare down away from him getting benched. And then the entire history, like, who knows right at that point is Patrick Mahomes the chief, right?
We don't know. It's it's it's you can go through the list of quarterbacks, the NFL, where if they flamed out, it's like, did they have if they had one more shot, if they had one more, you know, if the coach was a little bit different.
But there's also like what could happen with Sam Donald, who I've been harsh on Sam Darnell.
There should be a less harsh because he is playing with nothing but like he could very well. You know, the Jets can be like we're moving on. He goes in his back up somewhere and he never becomes what he would have been anywhere else.
There's also something very frustrating about having a quarterback that's always on that cusp, but always seems to rise to the level of greatness when their job is on the line. Right. For like a couple of drives and then they still lose, like, OK, I guess we're going to keep doing this. We're going to that's the Jason Campbell transition. OK, we're going to we're going to give Jason another shot here to see if he can get us a seven and nine this year.
Yeah, but yeah, Dwayne look good. Dwayne look pretty good. And in the I guess it was after the second quarter for the rest of the game, he looked he looked like an average quarterback. Yeah. He say the job four saved his job, save his job for a week.
But I, I don't want to see Alex Smith out there. No, I don't either. I think it's scary. Yeah.
It's like watching a bomb technician walk away with the suitcases and like, slip and fall.
It's yeah. I don't no one wants to see that. No one wants to see that nice story, but no one wants for his own good because Alex Smith seems like the nicest guy in the world.
All right. Next up, Panthers, Cardinals. Speaking of quarterbacks, I don't give Teddy Bridgewater enough credit. Teddy Bridgewater deserves more credit for being he's another one if he doesn't tear his knee. Remember that Vikings team was starting to build everything around him and it felt like they were you know, they went to that playoff game. Obviously, the Blair Walsh, Blair Walsh in those like zero degrees outdoor game. And then everything changes for weighbridge. Then he's going and being back up here and back up there now, you know, getting a starting job for rebuilding Panthers team that are probably seeing themselves.
He's off the answer, but he is this year. So that tells you exactly what we're saying, that everything could change. But Teddy Bridgewater, like all he does is win. And like I know there are only two and two, but everyone thought that no one gave the Panthers any shot this year. They thought they were going to be one of the worst teams in the league because they're you know, they got rid of Cam. They paid Christian McCaffrey, Luksik League retires, all the stuff.
They're two and two. And Teddy Bridgewater, like he was awesome today.
Yeah. He's a very above average quarterback. Yeah.
I just I need to remind myself to give Teddy Bridgewater more credit. I need to like, put in a weekly because he's not Google Calendar.
I think we talked about this on Friday, but he's got a great personality and he's always like he is a glue guy. Right. He was that way when he was in New Orleans. And he's definitely still that way when he leads this team. He's got an awesome personality. His teammates like him a lot. He's just not his on field play doesn't match the fiery personality and the fun guy that happens. It's like if if you were to go to salt based restaurant and he comes out cold and he comes out and he just gives you a hamburger and you're like, well, that's pretty good hamburger, but it's salty.
And then I shake my ass and he gives me the tiboni.
Yeah. And then he really gives you the bone.
You know, I'm saying like there's something that doesn't match up with that. So it's always a little you expect him to be like a little more dynamic on the field than he actually is. Well, which isn't his fault. He doesn't make mistakes. He slides, he slides.
It slides where he looks like he's gonna break his leg every time he slides.
But he's like always the guy that everybody's joking around with and having a good time with. And then he gets on the field. It's like, OK, we got serious study.
I just I there's some guys that we just don't appreciate in Teddy Bridgewater falls into that category. I think he needs more appreciation.
I like Teddy Bridgewater. I'm a Teddy Bridgewater guy.
What do you call him on Friday? What did I call my Friday? Tyrod Taylor? No, I said better Tyrod Taylor, which I still like. He's not. Yeah, no, that's not a knockdown. Retailers like the the most like average teddy bears are obviously better. I should appreciate him more. This is my note to myself, like, hey. Lose a little weight, spend more time with your son. Appreciate Teddy Bridgewater. Those are my goals.
OK, not bad.
I think I did predict the Panthers to be in the hunt for a playoff spot. We said they were going to be frisky. Yeah, he did say they're definitely frisky. There they are. The definition of success. Every time you have a new coach, it's like you never know what's going to happen.
Right. Right. So good job, Teddy Bridgewater.
Matt Rule doesn't get enough credit for being just a sexy dude on the sidelines. A slob, just a sexy slob. Honey, I shrunk Richard Jewell.
He is he is he is top three coach that I would guess would just like awful kiss spill stuff on himself if you if you gave it enough time.
If you, if you got that rule, Freeview release that rule into the wild at a wedding during the appetizer hour. He's coming back with some stains he's got. Yeah.
He goes like raw dog on the meatballs and you know his face. He's got a little mustard on his tie.
How many job interviews do you think it took for that rule to realize that he shouldn't eat soup for he just didn't get all these jobs.
He's Matt Rule. Yeah. Good coach. Big time mouth breather. Matt, you want a loaded baked potato, get you started? No, thanks. I'm good. I got a dairy issue.
I'll just stick to the stick to the steak. Yeah, that rule rules. Definitely the type of guy who tells you every single time he's got diarrhea. Yeah.
Oh it's some Chile. Sorry I got that shit. Hey man, we don't need to know. We don't need to know. Yeah. I got halfway to the office today. Shit. My pants had to go back home. Sorry for being late guys.
I keep, I keep a spare pair of khakis in the back of the truck just in case there's some, there's some crazy. He's got his underwear like hanging out the back window with the window all rolled up to keep it in there, just driving on the highway, airing it out.
There are some crazy Matt Rule football guys stories. We got to get him on some time because he's I remember reading when he went and took over Temple and was trying to like maybe when he was an assistant coach at Temple and they were trying to get tougher. He just challenged everyone on the defensive line to bowl in the ring and like himself personally. Yes.
Yes, he did it. That's the coach, OK? Yes, yes. And he did it like that kind of shit.
So I could also I like that I could see him trying to do that and just getting his ass kicked by everyone. Yeah.
And then just getting up every time, like Charlie Brown shooting, like, why do I keep losing?
I'm not done yet. Yeah, he's the night. Stay down. Come on, coach. We don't want to hurt you. I'm fine. I just want to get everyone tougher.
You're foaming at the mouth, coach. Are we ready to hop off the Cardinals hype train? Yeah, I'm close to putting the F word on them. Oh, I. I'm ready to do.
The only thing that's holding me back from calling them the F word is the fact that, like, they were just the dark horse going into this year, there were one slip.
Yeah, you're right. They can't be expectation was enough. They can't be frauds. They have to be there. Bulmash Yeah. They would have to be like leading their division for a while for us to be like, no, you know what, they're frauds.
I think people struggle with that when they get mad at me for I say like the thirteen three Packers or the Ravens like their better teams than almost everyone else. Yeah. It's just it's not a championship team.
It's almost a good thing to be good enough to be able to be labeled a fraud.
Right. Like people keep telling me the bears are frauds like no, the bears never were supposed to be good.
If the bears are fraud, they're reverse fraudulent where it's like they're supposed to be really shitty.
Right. And they're three and one. What's going on? They're just bad. Yeah, there's a difference. So you're right, they're not frauds because I think they might just be bad and the kind of money. So I saw he's a fraud. Well, I saw this.
He's not five, ten. You've got to be careful, dude, because that's short. King. No, I can't play quarterback. We're going back in time where your quarterback has to be six three.
Know what I'm saying is that Kyler Murray, he did this to himself when he turned his back on the five not community by saying he was five. Ten. Yeah, he put it. He put the the little like Silly Putty on the bottom of his heels, losing the five nine community, the five nine community.
Are you. And that depends on what shoe I'm wearing.
But yeah, I mean, you've only been wearing your lifts. They're not lifts. Nike Zumaya 727 normal seven pairs. You can find them in any local foot locker or on, you know, your popular sneaker websites.
I got these on stock X. I don't sell lists on stock X, OK, party's got a bunch of different. I'm following the half right now and some of them are really good, but he's got one terrible pair.
I'm wearing Raiders on Sundays because no one's in the off. I'm wearing them right now. No. The first time you walked in with them, you knew you were like a dog with the cone of shame. Listen, like you beat us to it. You're like this. You suck, guys. Yeah. I just put my hand up and I was like, it looks like what a clown would wear to the bowling alley. And they've got every color known to man on them.
They are in shape. In shape. Yeah. I have no idea who designed this.
That's yeah. That's the the blue light or not the blue light where you called the bowling alley when they do the throw.
No the fucking the black like black white black like bowling alley. Yeah, yeah.
The galactic cosmic bowling my my cosmic polishers if. Sure was always these are yeah, they're they're bad shoes, but you're smart, you wear them on somewhere around here. And I also learned that I should not wear these if I'm wearing shorts. If you wear pants, it covers up some of the dog shit on them. So it looks a little bit nicer. Yeah, yeah. These are my Sunday shoes. Yeah, he did.
I remember when you walked in the first day before we could even say anything you like. These shoes are bad. Go back to Cuyler Murray. Yes, Cuyler Murray. It all started to go downhill for him when he said that he was five. Ten. Yeah, he's actually five nine.
We need to make a short lives matter of like, you know, like the blue lives matter with the police flag. Yep. There should be one for sure. Randy Newman. It should be. It should. Yeah. Just be like Randy Newman's face put on like the last stripe. Right. Like lower most straight. It's actually the American flag. Yeah. It's not even I think it's the same as the bottom one.
It's like if you, you must be this short to appreciate and honor this flag. Right.
So calamari four times in his career now they've had under one hundred yards offense in the first half. That's bad. That's slow starter. And I feel like. Now, Cliff, he might be getting into the conversation with fraud and the fraudulent conversation, Cliff, was a fraud. The minute we saw that fucking house, you know what he is?
He's just as stretched out. Kyle Shanahan. Yup. No, he's no, because he's a stretch out Kyle Shanahan. But he's also like he's like like the knock off junkyard.
Kyle Shanahan, like like Kyle Shanahan is a character in a show. And then Kyle Shannon, such good actor that he gets a big payday and he's like, I'm gonna be on the show anymore more. And they try to slip in. Kliff Kingsbury, he's on fifth. He's the new on the offensive. Yeah. They tried to slip in Kliff Kingsbury be like no no. It's the same as that guy thought was going to notice.
Nope. We noticed this guy stinks.
I was going to say like if Kyle Shanahan is the legitimate stockbroker, like a Fortune 500 firm or wherever stockbrokers work, then Kliff Kingsbury is like the Jordan Belfort. Yeah. And it comes up on Penny Bevilaqua business. Yeah. He's like, listen, you buy the stock, it cost you a cent. You make a lot of money right away. He gets that promotion next time. When you give him all your savings, this is going to flip you off.
Double birds go get addicted to Quaaludes.
Yeah, Tony killed Matthew Bevilaqua is a great fucking episode. Whacked them, he gave him a Fanta right before he thirsty. I know you like crazy. I'm so sorry. I don't remember.
Matthew Bevilaqua was mystic's. Yeah, it's been so long and those jokes don't even phase. All right, see, I. I don't know what it is every time I feel like someone out there is pissy right now.
Yeah, that's fine. That's someone on your part.
Someone every time we watch Cardinals game, it feels like calamari. It's either like a deep bomb or the offense doesn't work, like it's run, run, run, you know, scramble, deep bomb, but it doesn't feel like anything happens in the middle, like intermediate. Like, they don't they don't beat teams like that. Maybe I could be totally wrong. It could be a nerd like actually you're way off. But doesn't it feel like when you watch the Cardinals, they're not like going down the field in their home run hitters?
Yeah, right. In baseball, when the home runs not there, they become bad. Adam Dunn.
Oh, you know, really, the entire issue is just DeAndre Hopkins only had forty one yards today. Yeah. So who won that trade. Yeah. Yeah. Everything's coming up Bill today. Yeah.
All right. Speaking of which, Bill O'Brien, Vikings Texans Bill O'Brien has started threat level midnight in his office. He is officially decided that he's getting more involved in play calling. Now, this is for people who are long distance. This show we've gone through this many times, put a coach trying to save their job will oftentimes if their offense or defensive coach start calling the plays again to try to save their job, be like, you know what, you need to coach a coach more.
I need to do what I do best. Right. Thereby implying strongly that the reason you're not winning is because the coach who's already in charge of that. Right. Who becomes your scapegoat. Correct. Now, there's promising young offensive coordinator, offensive mind Bill O'Brien. Right. That he has appointed to be offensive coordinator. So in the event that he has to fire himself as Jim. Right. He elevates the offensive coordinator, which is also Bill O'Brien, to the full time head coaching position.
And the head coach goes to the gym. Yes. So Bill O'Brien now has three jobs and he can just move on. And what happens to Jim? Bill O'Brien, that's fired. So you fired the GM, the GMs fired because of the DeAndre Hop.
You can be like, yeah, you can point to that after a season like this was a mistake that the general manager made. Right. The coach can only work with the ingredients that he has right now.
The coach is like, but you know what? I would I have such a great mind. I would like to get go to the old Bill Parcells. I want to go buy the groceries. Yeah. So Bill O'Brien, the head coach, goes up to Bill O'Brien, the general managers seat after Bill O'Brien, the general manager, gets fired, and the Bill O'Brien, the offensive coordinator, takes over head coaching duties. Right.
And then the offense has a jump start to it, because if Bill O'Brien, the offensive coordinator, can work at all with this offense and this roster that has been decimated by the incompetence of General Manager Bill O'Brien, imagine what can happen if they have somebody who actually pays attention to the game. Right, head coach Bill O'Brien, that can come in and put the pieces together and work with that roster. I think future is bright for Bill O'Brien.
He's got he's got this all figured out. I'm actually thinking now, if I could pick one story out of left field crazy story to happen, it would be Bill O'Brien, head coach, last GM slash offensive coordinator, being like, hey, guys, I was actually a super early adopter of Bitcoin and I have like five billion dollars. I'm going to buy the Texas.
Yeah. Now he's the owner owner, Bill O'Brien. Eventually, commissioner.
Yeah, he so he takes over or he didn't take over. He's going to have more to do with the play calling and and the offensive scheme in the install.
Yeah. You know, it would actually make a lot of sense if Bill O'Brien was somehow independently ridiculously wealthy right now. Yeah.
And he got fired. He was like, oh OK, that's fine. I got like six billion dollars. Yeah. It would explain a lot about how he handles himself as a coach and general manager. Yeah. He's just like, whatever. This is a cool job.
I get to hang out on Sundays with NFL players.
The best part about him switching or announcing that he's going to have more to do with the offense is in reading it.
He's still not really calling the plays, so he's still giving himself that out. He's more involved. He's more involved.
Yeah, he's kind of he's helping them put together the concept of the game plan. Right. If that doesn't work, then he's going to have to become more hands on. Maybe he'll script the first fifteen players.
He's he's basically treating his team, his the offensive side of the ball, like his teammate, like a teenage son who's like acting out at school.
He's like, you know what, I got to be home for family dinner every night, like I got to be home, family dinner. And we're going to be here and we're sit here and I'm going to I'm going to have more. I'm going to be more hands on with the offense. Yeah, well, and then if you get too involved down that road, you can always flip it and be like, I think I'm putting in too much work and overthinking myself.
I need to remember what's important and what keeps me grounded. And that's spending some time with my family as well. Having that work life balance is actually healthy for you. Something that I didn't have when I was in New England and I got it drilled into me. You spend every minute of your life at the facility. Maybe be good if, you know, I go golfing with my son. Yeah, occasionally during a bye week. There we go.
Go help the wife out and help her vacuum like one rug in the living room, but then mess it up like you never know.
I don't need your help. Yeah, but that's Bill O'Brien. So the Texans think I think they officially stink. I don't think it's schedule fact. I think they're just bad.
It's a bad team. I am still having a hard time believing that the. Texans are that bad. They just played in only three Vikings team that was reeling at home and they lost by eight points and they needed that game is closer, like the Vikings were up 15, like they should have. The Vikings were in control of that game the entire time.
You've been through this with the Texans in the past. I think I think I'm going through now with Deshaun Watson. He's really good. And then other times he's just, you know, running for his life a lot. Right. And I want to believe that he is that next level of quarterback. So they can't be that bad if they have a great quarterback. Right. Well, I'm learning very quickly that, yes, you can, Bill O'Brien, as he's kind of a genius in a way, because he's figured out how to make a top 10 quarterback play on a team that sucks and have you not win a single game.
Right. And losing with a great quarterback is extremely tough to do right in the NFL.
And the worst news ever for the Texans and Texans fans is their own for and they look like shit. And Will Fuller hasn't even gotten hurt yet.
Like it's going to get worse. It's a time bomb. It's going to get worse. Vikings, congrats to the Vikings. That was actually they showed some resolve. Mike Zimmer Zimmer's too good of a coach for them to be so, so bad. I still think they're good.
And I also just wanted I noted this when we were watching. I love when teams have players and their backup look alike. And I love that Dalvin Cook and Alexander Madsen have both have dreads. So when they switch them in and out, it's just like the city. Yeah, yeah.
It covers up the the nameplate on the back to where she can never be too sure. It's great. Such a nice touch and just my brain just can't figure out otherwise. I don't like it when it's wide receivers. Yeah. When it's like wide receiver, one wide receiver to both have the same haircut, whatever that is. Yeah. I don't like that. I need to have like a little bit of difference. Yeah. So I can tell exactly who's racking up the yards in a given situation.
Yeah. But it's just, it's just nice wrinkle.
So good job by the, by the Vikings.
There was a time Gelson Jefferson's awesome. There was a time when it was, it was Edelmann Hogan, Danny Amendola on the. And Wes Welker was in the mix too for a little bit on the Patriots and hearing announcers screw up who just caught a touchdown pass. Yeah, well you could set your watch them making that massive release twice every time.
All right. Next game up in a second. Pfft. I have a quick question for you, though.
If you were Bill O'Brien, you were going to spend some more time at home, would you? When you decide to quit your job being a dad or being at home and taking care offense, you've got to make sure they're safe, right?
Well, yeah. If there's anything that Bill O'Brien knows about its security, its job security, and he would tell you that home security is just as important. And I bet you anything Bill O'Brien would use simply safe, simply safe has everything you need to protect your home. Maybe you have just a shitload of bitcoin laying around your house. Maybe your Bitcoin billionaire need to install a security system like Bill O'Brien. He would you simply say, if I would you simply say simply safe has everything that you need.
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Make sure that they know that our show sent you.
OK, Bears' Colts'. This game. The bears fucking saujani on cued up. Yeah, me too, bears fucking I would rather rather have Hank yawn directly into my mouth for three hours and watch this game. 12 punts, 12 punts.
I mean, Philip Rivers is still talking shit right now. That was he was on a hot mic. He's on a plane flying back to Indianapolis and he's just screaming out the window. Yasari Y'all Sari's bunch of team I ever seen. Got the corner on you got.
I do think that CBS not doing fake crowd is terrible. Like it does make it seem like it's just not exciting when there's no fake crowd.
It was the experiment week where they're like, we're going to let the crowd breathe, we're going to just give you the all natural.
And it was such a bad game and I will so follow at Skylight. McGee had the best take that I'm mad. I didn't think of it. The Bears were planning all week to play a noon local kickoff.
It's true body. He got pushed back.
That's not their fault. No, like that game goes differently if the Bears played at noon. So instead the Coco got in the way and they switch and become the game of the week. And let me tell you, that was the game of no week. Yeah. If they if they added a week to the calendar, I still don't want that game in there.
If you had signed Cam Newton this offseason, you wouldn't have had to play that. So that. Yeah, that's true. But that also I hate when people are like that. Matthew Berry had a tweet that was like just a reminder. Thirty teams pass on Cam Newton. Well, so the Patriots. Yeah, like four. Right.
Seven months. No, I'm shocked that the Chiefs pass on Cam Newton. I'm shocked the Seahawks pass on cam.
I'm shocked the Packers like you really going to say 31 teams are looking for a really means like five teams. Yeah, they're five.
Kumu want to be a starter. And and Ryan Paswan Robiskie to start the season. So Cam Newton was probably like, I'm not going in that fucking franchise. And he's smart for doing that.
He's smart for not coming back to the Bears. Kill all fun when it comes to offensive football.
This entire game was just it was painfully boring to watch even Nick Foles like the passing game. In this case, you always say, like the passing game is an extension of the running game. When you have a quarterback that throws like a lot of screens, all that stuff with the Bears, it's like the running game is an extension of their passing game. It was so bad.
I so I'm trying I know everyone wants me to apologize for three and one not going to do it. I know everyone says the bears are not good. I've if you've listened to the show and followed everything I said, have I not said that. Like I don't think they're as good as like their three and no record, but I'm not going to apologize. There's a difference. Not apologizing is basically saying I'm going enjoy the ride, the ride suck today.
I'm still going to enjoy the fact that they're three and one because their season is not over because of one loss. But every bad thing that I thought about the bears came to fruition when it comes to their defense is good, but not elite like it was two years ago. Their offensive line, they got a new offensive line coach hasn't really fixed it like they they suck at times. Their running game sucks. New tight ends, not so great.
Quarterback still fucking sucks. Guess what, all the shit that I'm talking about, all this changed, you know who's the constant here, Matt? So I don't know what to say. You. Yeah, me and but Matt Nagy, do you accept responsibility? No, I'm not going apologize.
No, I'm not I'm not saying to apologize. I'm saying. Do you accept responsibility for doing a better job consistently? I was negative very quickly. You guys saw me. I got negative very quickly.
But this like you hire an offensive guru and I get it. Nick Foles has you know, he's trying to get on the same page, these guys. But fuck, man, that was embarrassing. It was disgusting. And I can't for the life of me, understand, like, if you are so predictable sometimes if you watched starting, I think at the end of the second quarter and then the entire third quarter, the Bears, when they're in shock, when they passed and when they under center, they ran that third and one that pace the end of the game.
Cordarrelle Patterson got stuffed. Guess what? It was a run under center. That's like how I used to play Madden when I was nine. Right.
Like this is day one shit that Matt Nagy does that drives me fucking insane. Everyone insane. It's like, how are you doing things that are so predictable where the Colts have just figured out that if Nick Foles under center, they're going to run the ball.
I have a question for you, big cat. Does Nick Foles like football? Does he enjoy being a quarterback? Is that like what he wants to be doing with his life?
I think I honestly is crazy. It sounds like and everyone makes a joke, but I really do think you have to start Mr. Biscayan and bring Nick Foles in after the first drive.
Yeah, well, I don't even know that, like, he just gets excited for the moment.
He just he looks like he'd rather be anywhere but on a football field. All it's even got a little bit of wrestling jump in when things go bad. He he looks like if he looks like his dad is pressuring him to play football when he'd rather be off painting somewhere, you know, like a high school athlete that is just doing this because his mom is like, well, you need to have an after school activity and keep yourself occupied or else you're going to get in trouble.
Like he does not look like he wants to be on a football field.
It's even going to get no one look like they're having fun today. His face looks like the opposite of what someone's face looks like if they're having sex with Nick Foles. Hmm. Yes, that makes sense.
Yes, it makes perfect sense. I, I just they stink and they don't stink, but they do stink like they're three and one. So it's hard to I don't want to be the total downer when they're three and want to be like cancel everything because it's going to happen just a scoreboard three and one.
You're not going to apologize.
Bucs Thursday night cooking the books don't have a good defense. Yikes.
But the Bucs got Gache like that.
Defense got up. Not as my rookie, not as much thirty one point, but there was a pick six like that that wasn't as much as the defense threw. Two hundred ninety yards.
It's not Gache. The defense today was not nearly as good as it has been agreed with that.
I just I think their run the bucks run defense is very good. So that's going to be a problem. I just I'm not going to apologize for three and one, but I know in my heart of hearts of the bears fucking stink. OK, are you happy? Are you happy?
I'm saying I wish I thought that all along.
I just wish that you guys were a little bit more entertaining when you start because no, we can never win.
Nick Foles thinks it is he is the most Bears quarterback of all time.
Why do you think Devin Hester is like the greatest of all time in the last twenty years? Our point returner is because he's the most exciting. That's the most exciting. The only excitement that the Bears can have as a franchise is their punt returner. And if their defense is so out of this world good that it actually becomes like more fun to be on defense, an offense. That's when the bears are like, that's the peak bears is their defense is so fucking good that it makes like honestly, like, let's just punt, let's just get in and get back on defense.
That's the only excitement that that's their peak. Exciting.
Yeah. When they're best when the most exciting player on the field is a guy that's really good at making the other team fumble after they catch a pass for like 30 yards.
Yes, that's it. So, I mean, this is there are certain franchises that I will absolutely agree with you with that no matter who is the quarterback, they're just going to become that environment. Like if Patrick Mahomes was a bear, he might not be Patrick.
He would have gotten hit by a bus. Yeah, OK. He would have gotten hit by a bus walking across Michigan half. And that would have been. So just forget it. Like there's no quarterback that you could be like, oh, look at this. They got that.
No, it just doesn't work that Mitch Mitchell Robiskie much better at handoff to Nick Foles. Yeah, Nick Foles is slow. He's got slow arms fucking sucks.
Thursday night the all be pumped because if they go four and one, watch out, they're probably the best team in the NFC. All right. Pils Raiders Forno Bills Forno Bills.
Josh Allen, what can you say. He's fucking awesome even he got hurt warrior.
Yeah got hurt on such a Josh Allen play made some awesome throws, hit all the buttons on his way down, hit all the buttons on his way down.
Stefon Diggs is like the perfect guy for this offense. The bills need more credit for like getting that to unlock Josh Allen. I actually think Josh Allen haters are kind of there's kind of done. Dave admitted that they're wrong. Yeah. They're like, no, they actually haven't. They're like little. It's still like the 17 year locusts, they're just waiting underground for one bad game, then they're all the way back, but then they're all the way above ground.
Even though even that, though, I saw a couple of nerds today, like one guy was like, I never thought you could teach accuracy in a quarterback, but Josh Allen has proven me wrong.
There you go. Good. Yeah. Is and also like some of the stuff that they can't teach you, he had one pass that Cole Beasley caught it in midair. I like the three yard line. And just the sheer velocity of Josh Allen's pass carried him two yards into the end zone after he grabbed on to it. Yeah, it was like a like when you see in a movie, like somebody flying away in a windstorm because they open an umbrella.
Right. It was sick. It was up. Yeah, yeah. It was up. This is something that you don't get from every quarterback. Josh Allen is so much fun to watch it that that I don't understand how it wasn't a touchdown. John Brown, by the way. It was there was a touch that has to be touch.
What are we doing with replay if that's out of touch?
He caught the ball. The ball was at least halfway already into the end zone, not just over the line. I think the entire ball was at least over the line for that first step.
So for anyone who's keeping it, we're keeping real track of Josh Allen stats this year. So that's another touchdown that he gets. I think they ran the ball in after that. And so that's another touchdown he gets in. Reminder, he is not thrown a real valid interception.
Right. Because what happened on that one, that it was kind of bullshit. It was stupid. It was dumb.
It was just like a brain fart that you had.
And then Derek Carr. His hands are small, tiny hands we umble for days. I looked it up during the game, I was like, this guy has to have the smallest hands on the field right now. It's like nine and a quarter inches. But he played his hands play smaller than that. Yeah, we can all agree.
He he also had he he got the record today for all time Raiders touchdowns by a quarterback, which is always so funny that we're in this era now. We're like, whatever quarterback you have is going to be your record holder. So you beat out Ken Stabler, 151 touchdowns. And the only other note I had on this game, I still don't think the Raiders are bad. They just the bills are good. And Jonathan Abrams, he is now I got my eye on Jonathan Abrams every single game.
He has a catastrophic injury that he pops right up from like that. He's down. The cart's about to come out. He looks like he's dead. And then he's just like, yeah, I'm fine. I thought he's been out of like six games and there's only been four.
I'm trying to think why that might be for him. I don't know in particular. But remember, he ran into the the the he ran into the booger, whatever the bookmobile used to be. Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Yeah. And you thought he was dead and then he's popped up. Yeah. I only had one more note and that's fine. Rod Tidwell.
Nathan Peterman looked awesome on the sidelines. They need to stop showing Nathan Peterman because when they show him, I think we're all thinking the same thing, which is why are we watching Derek Carr right now in his tiny little hands? Yes, we could watch Nathan Peterman three six.
It is tempting, I mean, because the stadium looked awesome today. You notice that stadium look rated. She looked wonderful. She always does. My verbal meme is Allegiant Air is a folding table and then some drunk. Forty two year old Buffalonian and Bills Maffia jumping off an RV is my penis.
Oh, nice, nice. OK, still getting a little worried about smashing it. Yeah. All right.
ASCAME I was actually surprised Hank didn't make a Challenger joke when Josh Allen's rocket arm broke down. Is he OK?
Yeah, he's OK. I watched that that was fucked up, crazy documentary. Yeah, oh, Jason Witnesses', yeah, he should've said yeah.
Which Jason like I would like a formal apology for when you try to tell us all the adare. I was I was fucked up.
We all knew. But you really tried to let us know.
This is my real hair. Yeah. You have to be up front about it. Yeah. Just so it's guy code you get on TV, if you're on a football show and you have a hair transplant, you have to make at least three jokes at night about your faking.
Right. So I would like yeah, I'd like a retraction for all the times you just like your hair. Yeah.
And then he took his hair away. Yeah. Well he was going bald. Yeah. But then he. Shit. That's what you going to do. That's what you got to do.
All right. Last game, giants, rams, the Giants have scored three touchdowns this year.
You still on the Danny Dimes bandwagon?
No, I got off last week. I mean, he did actually play like he runs around and makes plays. He's got nothing with he's got nothing to work with. I don't know if they'll ever have anything to work with. He's one of those quarterbacks where it's like wrong time, where he'll never get it all together because he still makes plays where like there's something there, like he's throwing a nice ball.
He's running around my beard. They scored three touchdowns.
My beef with Daniel Jones is if you're going to stink, you have to at least be in that fight at the end of the game. At midfield. Yeah, you have to be ready to brawl.
Now, the move that he pulled, which was just like walking away from the fight, that's you have Eli Manning to get to that point.
Yeah, he is. He is. He has the demeanor. Veli, man, that's for I need you to I need you to throw a punch.
Was it heck, you were saying like Daniel Jones and Jared Goff both just like immediately walked directly away from that fight?
Yeah, I did not say that he Jalen Ramsey and Golden Tate being the ones who were got in the fight like, no, Doug, they're the most powerful combination of players, Golden Tate and Tate. He's just like a beef sprinkler. He just hates anyone that's around.
Yeah, he's got beef going everywhere. And see what Jalen Ramsey. I also shout out Nick Gates for the Giants who tried to fight Aaron Donald.
That was crazy. What the fuck were you doing, dude? Saying also turned down, just started trying to poke his eyes like he was Three Stooges. It was awesome.
Yeah. I'll be honest with you, I didn't watch much of this game because I was asleep from watching the Bears. Yeah, this was the it was the same game. It was the Bears game just on the West Coast. Yes.
And then a fun stat that everyone should remember going for. The Rams are now twenty eight and zero one leading at halftime under Sean McVay.
OK, that's pretty damn good. I didn't know that. Yeah. So shamefaced.
Pretty good coach. Yeah, pretty good coach. All right. That's the full recap. Let's do we have like ten minutes with Dion. Let's do that right now is to a quick add before we get to Dion. Will do, like I said, ten minutes with Dion coming up in a second. Yeah, I want to talk to you guys about 3G. I love 3G, had some 3G again this weekend. On Friday night when it's Friday night in my household, I break out the 3G gummies.
Had somebody DM me earlier today saying that they took three at once. Why didn't I warn them to not take three at once? I'm warning you right now. Take a half one.
The first time you do it, you'll feel great and then maybe level up to a full Gumee or maybe more if that's your speed.
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Hank made a cake. Did you dose the cake, Hank? No, I didn't. And Jay still need it. That's because you said that you dose the cake. To be fair.
No, I when I walked in, I said this is a perfectly fine cake.
You heavily implied that the cake was toast. I had a big shout out Syria for making the cake. Yeah.
Oh, good point. Thanks. Yeah. Shout out to RIA. Oh so Hank didn't dose the cake. Reia did. Got it. OK, now I understand where you go.
That's cheating on that. You should see what he was saying about Jake earlier. Oh yeah.
OK, would you say it's all right. Why aren't women's balls on my arm again. Why am I pulling a Paul George 3Com from a good point.
Five percent off and now Deon Sanders.
All right. We now welcome on our good friend, Prime Coach Prime Deon Sanders. Talk a little football, talk a little Sunday. I wanted to start with I love how we always have, like your former team because you had so many teams.
But the Dallas Cowboys. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Cleveland Browns running it down their throat. Three hundred and seven yards. What do you do if you're defense and you get like that's just you got manned up? How how can you give up forty to Cleveland with a straight face. So virtually. It had nothing to do with Jason Garrett, it has nothing to do with Jerry Jones. It has everything to do with all the people who are on the dirt field, is the type of players that's out there that's putting this pathetic effort up.
And what I watched today, what Cleveland Browns going to run up in your living room instead of your table and eat your food. You got a problem? Yeah. Yeah. The tackling was like some of the worst that I've seen in the last couple of years. I think it's like a league wide thing, but especially with the Dallas Cowboys. You were a big hitter, famously your day. Oh, my. What's going on?
Like, do they just not they don't know how to wrap up the over pursue. Is it the end like the physicality is the thought process is the attitude. But who gives up to trick plays four touchdowns in one game. Yeah. Who does that. Nobody does that. So, so from a defensive standpoint, is there any fixing something like that or is it just like this is kind of what we are, we're just a really bad defense? Or do you ever see a defense like that in the early parts of the season being like they can get better, they have some guys, they can get better scheme, whatever it may be.
Maybe Mike Nolan's on the hot seat, the defensive coordinator, like, is there a fix?
If I didn't know Mike Nolan, I could take unsolicited shot at him, but I know him. I played for him in Baltimore. Thank God. I know his stuff works. But what I'm seeing right now, just imagine if that Prescott wasn't Dak Prescott that's playing out of his head, doing for four hundred fifty four hundred yards and five hundred yards every week.
Could you imagine how bad it would be if he were doing what he's doing? The defense man, this is a this is atrocious. I don't even have a word for what I see is no what is no passion is no desire is no playmakers. Is none of that work then? They think they're ignorant, Dallas Cowboys defense is ignorant, is ignorant. I like it. I mean, yeah, how do you turn that around? They need, like, who's their leader on defense that's supposed to straighten this whole thing.
This is a good question. Is not just about leaders, leaders of one thing, but you need to Bogues. This is what we should do to dogs on the defense, because usually when is adversity, the dogs rise up and put a stop to the nonsense. And what we're seeing right now is nonsense.
Well, Andy is coming back soon or sorry, Shanly coming back soon. Yes. And then for at least a quarter, he'll be the dog and then he'll be out again. So they're going to get one good quarter defense and at some point this the season. But, yeah, just it's like it's embarrassing for the Cowboys. And it's not just it's not just like the tackling, but they're also getting most out there. That's kind of a week a league wide thing, though, like do they teach defensive backs how to jump anymore?
No. The thing about most of these guys that are getting in that situation, they already be in when the bulk of they hit the panic button. And it just makes it even worse. And you got the running was unbelievable today. It was crazy today. So it is my son. He went on a visit, unofficial visit to FSU. And we going back and forth right now. Breaking news. Yeah. Yeah. So what what Baker go for one hundred or some yards.
Yeah. It was like a hundred and sixty I think. Yeah. We had adequate day.
Not a great day, but he had a good day. He didn't need to throw for a thousand yards today because they ran four thousand yards today.
Yeah. Yeah. All right. So the bears think you actually want it. You wanted to switch your pick. I actually I'm going to do something else because in the beginning of the show, I talked about the bear's problems. I'm going to give credit to the Colts, the culture good. Like they have told you that, yeah, their defense is good. Their offensive line is great. Phil Rivers, when he has time like he made, you know, he's not the same guy as he was ten years ago, but he's more than adequate to be good for that offense.
Are are people, you think, sleeping on the Colts overall in the AFC? Kazantzakis all the talk is the Ravens, the Chiefs and the Patriots.
Yeah, the Colts can't win, but they're not on that elite level. They're like they're like a homecoming team for the playoffs. That's what they are. They'll make it they may make it there, but it's just going to be a homecoming game in the playoffs. But what the Colts do, they're not going to beat themselves in Philly. RIAB is not going to he's not going to beat you. He he he's not going to lose the game. I mean, he's not going to do that.
And defensively, what they did the data record the game they played last year with Nick Foles when he was the start of a Jacksonville. And yeah, it was horrible. And I was thinking about that all week and I should have taken him. I'm so mad at myself because I didn't have the guts to do it.
Yeah, yeah. Nick Foles, you're a big fan of his. You think that he's just got like he's got something. I didn't see much from him. Well, I'll take that back the two minute drive at the end. I thought he was a clinician. He was just dissecting them. Yeah, he does.
But you got to understand, when Nick is in the savior role, he's much better. But when he's that guy and I don't know if they know how to really use him yet when he comes in off the bench is a whole different feel for him. But I don't think they understand how to really utilize Nick Foles. And it wasn't just Nick the day. It was the whole darn team there was just adequate they was very nonchalant today. It was not a good look today for the Bears.
Yeah, no, it was it was a very, very it made me hate football. Watching that game made me hate football. It was that bad. A theme that we have every week. Are you ready to admit that Josh Allen is incredible because he got knocked out of the game, comes back in the game making big plays with his feet, with his arm? He didn't actually have a lot of rushing today because of probably because he was hurt.
But the bills are forno for the first time in like twenty five years. Are you ready to admit that Josh Allen is on that level?
Josh Allen is not top five, but Josh Allen is a bona fide baller. The bills were my preseason pick. In the AFC, probably about the third or fourth ranked team in the AFC. I picked them to win the division period. And Josh Allen, what he's doing right now, man, is simply unbelievable, the throw he made down by the goal line was I was like, oh my God. I mean, the kid is balling, he's leading.
He's making plays. He's he's he's propelling that team to the next level. And defensively, they just got to turn it up a little bit more. And that team could do some amazing things, but they really can't because they could beat anybody.
So you say he's not top five? He's probably top ten, I would imagine. But he's a bona fide pilot, I would imagine. You probably think you would agree.
Russell Wilson is probably playing the best out of just about any quarterback. So I'm going to read you some of the stats right now.
Does a guy in Kansas City that's pretty good? That's right. Yeah, that's true of Patrick Mahomes. But Russell Wilson, here's some of the stats. One hundred and five for one hundred forty eight. So he's passing out seventy point nine percent. Thirteen hundred passing yards, twelve touchdowns, one interception. Eighty three rushing yards, three rushing TDs, one hundred twenty two point eight passer rating. What does that bring back? He's got to be right.
I'm sorry, actually, that was that was Josh Allen's statue this year that I just read. Josh Allen, the top five quarterback in the NFL.
No, those are the top five guy. He's a tough guy. There's a guy from Green Bay that is pretty darn good. I'm sure his stats around there, Russell, is unbelievable. You do know that? Yeah. That grown man from Kansas City is a freak. That was a lot more exciting the day we didn't see him last week, but he really bowed out today, running and throwing football. He was back to himself. It's good.
We got some good quarterbacks. We really do, man. Yeah, Herbert. Herbert Herbert was OK today. He makes a heck of a throws today. Well, I think the young kids in our game has been up there for now.
So what's my last question was about that game, because we're just not mentioning the fact that Tom Brady threw five touchdowns today.
And that's my guy. He you know, that's my guy. How you played when you were 38 years old. He's 43. Are you just like I mean, how hard was it when you were 38 to play with guys that were 18 years younger?
It is different because my game was based off my legs. Tom Brady is Tom Brady is based on his arm and his intellect, his thought process. And he's very astute that he has a young man's mind when it comes to quarterback. And he is unbleached. He is the epitome of the quarterback. And the thing I love the most about Tom today, Tom, through a pick six, did it bother him? Did it ruffle feathers? Did it get him off his game, not admit it, quit to get it.
And he kept going. That's what I love about Tom Brady.
I like that he's done a lot of pick six. Is, though, is that a is that an area of concern? Because he's not going to enter the job territory.
That's timing. That's timing with him and the receivers. First of all, he got a guarantee after this week. They take that route right out of that out is a pick six. Yeah, because he's throwing it late is no timing between him and he and the receiver. They got to take that out of the playbook.
Wait, so admit it. Quit it. Forget it. Yeah. All right. So I thought the bears were going to win today. Admit it. Quit it. Forget it. So quit thinking. Yeah.
No, it's over. I was wrong. I'm let's stop talking about it. See, I like that about you if you will admit when you're wrong. Oh I was wrong. I really admire that. That's like a quality I really love about you very, very much.
Yeah. So even. Yeah. I mean some of your picks. Oh very very very wrong. If we look at the NFC beast, the beast is back to the vision that you played in. Cowboys look like trash. We've covered that eagles. Who knows what's going to happen here on Sunday Night Football. They don't look any better to Washington football team still in first place at one in three. And I'm not going to talk about the Giants who is coming out on top of that dumpster fire, his vision.
You think you still think the Cowboys, the Cowboys will the Cowboys will really think about Jerry Jones? Jerry Jones is the best advocate and salesman for hope. Do you understand only that cowboy fans, because of the great Jerry Jones, believes every year that they going to win it all in? That is not a great salesman. I don't know what he is.
Yeah, and they haven't won in, what? Twenty seven years? Twenty six years since Moby Dick was a kid. Well, here's the thing.
They have the Giants next week, so that should that should help them. That's the W. Yup. And then they have the Cardinals and the Washington football team in the Eagles.
So you're not gonna say anything about the Cardinals. Did the Cardinals trick all of us? Yes, yes. Yes.
They trick they they tricked us. But I also am an idiot. Admit it. Quit it. Forget it. Teddy Bridgewater. All he does is fucking play good football like he's not flashy, sweaty.
Bridgewater is Mr. Consistent. Yeah. He's the kind of guy that you let him take your daughter out on a date because he says he's going to beat her. He's there seven fifty five. He's going to have her home at ten thirty and he's there ten. Fifteen. Yeah. That's the kind of guy. Teddy Bridgewater.
Have you seen what he's packing. Yeah. Oh no. Diane doesn't like.
No I'm not I'm not a Packer watcher. Yeah. I mean you can't help but notice John's got a medium sized dick so he doesn't like I'm not a packer. Watch out. He's got like he's got a third of what you just said. I had so many gifts. I had so many gifts in life. God had to cut back somewhere.
You're a hard worker, though, right? Didn't do it. Oh, I love to cut back somewhere. Diane, I have one last last question. I saw your fucking toe, man. What is up with that? Did you see this picture? The surgery? No deal. Posted a picture like a châteaux a clip. This eye. It's like the it's like Goodfellows. One dog's looking this way. One dog's look in the eye. Oh, my God.
I know. And this one's saying what you want from me. Your toes, the Marriott. You say my dog was flipping everybody off.
I don't know if that's true, but that's what is that your toe looks like your second toe looks like it's trying to get away, like it's trying to escape.
It has three surgeries that need of another one. I can't even walk barefooted. I mean, the thing is done is that what does he. Yeah, no.
They had to shorten it and they had to get it was a hook. It was a hook toe. So they had to straighten it out. And there is no nothing inside of the soldier stays up, it won't even go down verbally. Deon Sanders in the locker room standing next to Nick Foles and Teddy Bridgewater.
You got to stop and think of an idea just real quick. Tell me, am I am I an idiot for still thinking that the Houston Texans are the best 014 team maybe in the history of the NFL?
You're certified. Yeah. How about you? The grand know MacNicol bloody idiot. But you got to Sean. Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. It's over. They stink over. They stink. We all take the grandkids to pick the Vikings. They say they do stink.
All right. Well, Deon, thank you as always. Enjoy your Sunday night and take care of that man. I don't know what to fucking do with it.
Like, soak it, soak it every night. That thing is gross. I did see the.
All right, let's wrap up. We got Football Guy the week presented by Phillips Norelco.
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So our Phillips jarocho football guy, the week nominees are, Jake, starting things off in the big time with Nebraska head coach Scott Frost, who said if Nebraska has to play and get a game in Uzbekistan, it will.
I believe them. Yeah. Also, not much of a football guy move to know that Uzbekistan is a place. Mm hmm. I feel like like a real football guy would just say Russia. Yeah. Guess what? You a real football guy? I would say we'll play against the USSR if we have to. I, I like that.
Scott Frost said this, but unfortunately for Scott Frost, you got to play Columbus Week one. You'll probably lose by about forty.
So I also would have accepted Timbuctoo like I don't care any time. Bangkok. Yeah. These are some guy jokes. These are places that football guys know. Yeah. I think this is going to be our first ever official nominee. Yeah. We have Mike Kelly, an official in the North Carolina Boston College game, who, while waving his arm during the USC Boston College game, hit a coach in the nuts. It was awesome.
Jimmy tapped him. Did you watch it? I haven't seen it. I'm going to look it up right now.
I retweeted it was he was doing like the softball spin, like, to keep looking on the field and just perfectly knotted. This guy. It was so sick. Yeah. Look it up.
OK, next one. Yeah. Moving on to Seahawks safety, Jamal Adams, who wore his helmet at home watching his team.
The Dolphins love it. And I will pay pay. That's the pay pay in the when he's sitting in the tub. Yeah, with his foot in the tub. Look at an iPad. Yeah. Yeah.
That ending things you hinted at earlier, our friend Joe Buro said the game ball for his first ever win in his professional career is going back in the team's ball back. I love it. I like that.
Eventually there will be so many game balls that you've won with. Those are also the ones that you're practicing with. Yeah, that's when that's when the culture change expected to win.
All right, Phil Sirocco. So use that hashtag TriMet to win it for Phillips Norelco football guy the week.
OK, wrapping up NBA Finals DJ but the DJ but game forty 11 and 13. I'm happy that DJ but got this game. I still think the Heat are the Lakers will probably win in five. But it was good that Jimmy Butler reminded everyone like it's not a fluke that they're here and he's fucking awesome.
LeBron, I don't think he's ever had a forty 11 and 13 game in the history of the NBA finals.
Did you hear what LeBron said to Jay? But in the first quarter, he said to him, you guys are in trouble and pissed him off after Jay, but dropped forty 11 and 13, he said in the fourth quarter.
LeBron, you guys are in trouble in the court with ten seconds left. Oh that's classic brown guy. Classic Brown Brown. Now we get what I'm looking for though. Lakers in five Friday night champion NFL college football. Did it even happen?
What do you say when you when you left the court? I believe he just walked off. I think he's dribbled off, really hurting, he probably he probably walked off and whispered to Brian Windhorst start the trade rumors. She's got a pretty much a free agent from a pretty much broken spirit. Hey, remember, I'm a free agent next year.
Mm hmm. Get that going. All right.
Yeah. It's probably going to be a gentleman sweep. I think we agree.
That's fine, though. I'm happy that he had their moment.
Who knows? Jake gave me this look like no chance came in. And we talked we talked about this exactly like if they could have played, they would have. Yeah.
He's got like a torn planner.
I don't know what his turn plan planner muscle, but these guys are role players. They know their role and they can come together. But here's the problem, Jake. We're in a dangerous spot right now. The heat have to decide, like, can we win this series, OK, because I'm in I'm in it. If we want to get to seven and we want to see a Game seven and have the chance, like, I'll I'll I'll go to game seven to see the potential of LeBron losing.
But at this point, if the Heat win two games, it's going to be way worse because then people like the Heat were really awesome.
This is like a ring and a half for LeBron discounts. I've already seen the people being like this is actually the hardest thing to win.
That's what they said in the Stanley Cup. Heat and seven Daudier playing in fucking a U-turn, right?
Right. I think that's a glorified rising stars. It's a nice summer camp. Nobody in the crowd to boom. Yeah, right. Exactly. No one to yell. Hey, LeBron, would you call him little by little bitty word? Yeah. The Warriors. No, we should actually reminder to tweet that after one of the game pushes bitch.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, ma'am, the security guard turns around, we should be like, oh my God.
The people who live in this bubble is getting testy.
We retweeted that like three years in a row and people like do that.
So yeah, we know we're fucking with you. All right, let's finish up. Who's back. Oh, I it seems so long ago.
Put the cup stick to the side.
Yeah, that was last Friday. I knew though when we were sitting here as a couple of score today and guess what, they didn't score.
I don't, I don't like the, the format of the baseball playoffs.
I, I don't like it. I don't like it. I like to have series that get into little rhythms.
You know, I think now we are. But I kind of like I kind of liked it's weird.
It's not it doesn't feel real, but I kind of liked it just because, like, I'm almost happy that the Cubs lost the way they did in the two game series because now it's like, oh, they don't even make it. Who cares? Like they weren't about it exposes the frauds and the culture frauds and, you know, expose the fraud and flush them out. Are, you know, apologize for your World Series title? No, that was real.
OK, that was really that one. That one hangs forever.
Hank oh, I forgot to mention this in the Washington football team segment that we did, they had the coolest hats by far of crucial catch the tie dye. I immediately bought two. Yeah, they got me nice hang. Imagine that.
A mascot. How much more you'd buy. We don't need a mascot. Hey, dumb ass football team name. I like your cartoon. Try try corner hat guy, you little Johnny Tremaine guy that has to inspire you guys to play football. Well said that you guys even need that.
My who's back of the week is Fleetwood Mac. Mm. The song Dreams entered the top ten on the U.S. iTunes chart for the first time. And like ever this makes you feel so because of a tick tock from the user for twenty dogface to 08. Hmm.
Still hasn't been like no one has tried to cancel this guy. Not that I've seen. He posts a tick tock of himself while listening to dreams, riding on a longboard and drinking cranberry juice.
And people were like, oh my God, this band who is this new band like Vibes lately, Ray Eilish and their name?
Billy Ray. Yes, pretty much.
What's your name? Billy Eilish. What's Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray Cyrus. Miley Cyrus. Got it, Eilish.
Yeah, and but no, it's one of the greatest bands of all time. Maliana Grandi. What is her even got even got a fleet.
I know I flew Mack was named Fleetwood but he joined Ticktock. Yeah. He joined Tick-Tock himself and recreated it. The tick tock is going crazy. Yeah.
They're in the top ten iTunes charts which is crazy that like a tick tock can lead to actual like dude Fleetwood Mac is one of the best bands of all time, both on and off the court because they were real rock and roll like they all show. They all fucked each other. They all were addicted to cocaine. I think they broke up. They made up. They broke up. It's the best dreams.
She wrote this song about one of the band members after they broke up. Yeah. And the other band member wrote, Go your own way. Yes. Stevie Nicks.
Yes. So you Bangerz Taylor at all. It all works out for the band. That's great.
I swear to God, I saw three ladies on on Saturday walking around these bars. Just they were carrying to go things of cranberry juice with them, just sipping it as they walk down the sidewalk. I put two and two together. I thought they all had urinary tract infections. They were just doing it because of the tick tock of the dew that was sipping it on his longboard. Yeah, he's got great balance, too, by the way.
Yes, he does. Everyone go listen to rumors for my favorite album of all time. You pick one album, very hard to finish great driving. Silver Spring should have been on it. I have a shirt that says that. Wow. Yeah. Mm hmm. All right.
That's my who's back my who's back of the week is Doc Rivers. Yeah. Doc Rivers is back. And actually, you know what? I'm going to switch it up and said Doc Rivers just Kyrie Irving is back in general because they were asking him about the Nets coaching position that Steve Nash is that we call on the podcast.
Kevin Durant, we thought, come on the pass. Steve Nash got his own nose, the head coach.
But Kyrie Irving said, I don't really see us having a head coach. KD could be a head coach, I could be a head coach on some days. Jack Follain could be a head coach. He could do it one day. It's going to be a collaborative effort. So the Nets are going to be hilarious to watch because I love it. They're basically doing like a we work. Yeah, our entire basketball team is we work. One person can show up, we can all cross pollinate depending on whose day it is.
They're doing block scheduling for head coaches. I love it. I love it.
That's going to be so much fun to watch. By the way. We got the American Ninja Warrior. Oh, yeah. Officially it's officially Sunday night. Monday morning. That's that's the sign that we've been that we're the end of the week.
Who's the guy in the beginning? You know, who's the guy on the left? The answer on the left. Oh, he falls into his tweet me a few times. He looks he looks like Alex Jones and John Taffer had a baby.
He looks like Rob Regal's cousin. Yeah. Yeah. He's a guy they bring out. And Rob Riggle is doing like, literally anything else. Yes. Not eisenmann. There we go. Yeah, he was me. All right. My whose back is you know, it's how pretty it is. Pretty awesome. My whose back is my diet is officially back. I need everyone to help me, please. So I allotted myself.
You also didn't have any of my cake. I told you my dad.
So I thought of myself ten pounds said, look, I told myself I was going to game so disrespectful. Ten pounds through the course of the football season and I did it in one month, October 1st. OK, guys, I actually gained twelve pounds.
So efficient. Yeah. It was all in that first weekend at the game. Pretty much so I got to be back.
I'm going to be don't if you see me eating carb slop out of my hands. OK, salads. Oh the boy is ordering healthier as a group.
Yeah. There we go Jake. I don't know, I don't appreciate people. You are like skinny and I'm not skinny. Here you are. I'm like, you made me make a cake for you and they you eat any dude. Thank you. Yeah. No problem. Yeah. Ten pounds you've gained back. It was twelve but maybe, maybe now you're just going to plateau. It was forty. Maybe, maybe it's not going to get it was fourteen but it was a lot of water weight.
We'll see tomorrow. You know what, how many donuts did you eat on Saturday.
I usually eat so I get six.
I usually eat three and a half and then throw away the throw away one and then the rest of my house eats one and half.
The problem with Sundays is I right now I'm over four and waking up on Sunday morning telling myself I'm going to exercise before the game start.
It's just tough. You get carried away with oh yeah, no exercise out the window. There are too many things that you have to do on Sunday. You cannot exercise on a Sunday.
Can't ever. Yeah, no, not Sunday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. The gyms might be open. Yeah. Your body has a finite amount of beats like a battery. Yeah right. Your heart has only so many beats. Yeah. So you're just you're getting healthier now.
I gym just reopened and I've kind of felt some shame about not going because all of quarantine I was like well the gyms closed. Once it's open I'll go. But then after two weeks they instituted you have to wear a mask while you're working on policy. And I was like, that's strange.
I can't you're not, you know, live like that. No, no. I'm sure that gym in New Jersey is breaking into an opening up. You can't breathe in a mask, right? It's crazy. How can anyone live like that?
Literally. All right, Jake. My who's back of the week is all college football teams in the state of Florida except DCF. So the bragging rights is up for grabs. You see, I've just lost a total, so I think we can officially put that to that.
OK, OK, so, yeah, you gators three, look, gators number three.
Yeah, that's right.
They have, they have attained this this hour, then home against LSU next Saturday.
And that's not going to be easy. No.
Although after you play Alabama I feel like that's always got beat up a little bit. The lane drains looking good. Lane. Yeah, he looked awesome. The Egg Bowl is going to decide Lane Lane doing the pits during his press conference. Oh me. Just flush the toilet in the middle of answering a question. Yeah. Actually synthetic decay was like this makes me like a more. Yeah I was like he's got that from you know he's got. Yeah.
He started a long tradition of taking a piss on the field. Yeah.
Lynch is going so yeah. That's our show. We will see everyone on Tuesday.
Enjoy to Monday Night Football games. Anything else. I think that's it.
Great. Sunday we got to pick a number of love. You guys, I'm going to pick shout out that one guy pre picked thirty one. If that hits, I'm going to be fucking them.
I'm going to pick eight eight. Show me and a big catch. Show me Nate. All right. Here we go. Seventeen, eighteen.
You get an animal from here paralyzed. Seventeen actually I do. OK, it's the ability streams tomorrow 1:00 p.m. seventeenth really compared Tommy smokes. He said he looks like a goose.
So that's the animal. Fuck Tommy smokes. Looks like a goose. 73 nay nay geese mate for life. Yeah, yeah. 1818 two to two to happy hour to beer to love you guys to.
The Jason Model T to follow any show. So.