Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game, dude. Do I know you guys?

I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.

Not a big deal. Pink Whitney?

That's what I thought.

See you, fellows.

I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments. This episode is brought to you by Body Armor Zero Sugar. The brand Zero Sugar Sports Drink from our friends at Body Armor provides real hydration with no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or dyes. And whether you're looking to stay hydrated or recovering from a long weekend, Body Armor Zero Sugar has got you covered with great tasting flavors like Fruit Punch and Lemon Lime. Available in stores nationwide, head on over to Body Armor store on Amazon and get yours today. On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Todd McShay. It is draft week. We're going to break down the draft with him. We're doing our draft analysis. We're going to have some more on Wednesday, but we start it off, kick it off with our good friend Todd McShea. We're going to talk some playoffs. It is playoff time. We got NBA playoffs. We got Stanley Cup playoffs. We got some overreaction to do to game one. Nothing better than having a game one and being like, Well, that's how the rest of the series is going to go.Series over.Series over.

Home teams will win every game.

Yeah, we're going to do some Who's Back of the Week We got Mr. Per who is now 0-2. Terrible, terrible turtle.

He's awful.

He's a fucking piece of shit.

He's a mush.

He's a goddamn piece of shit. But he will have a pick, and we'll wrap up the show with some other stuff. Before we get to all that, DraftKings, the '82 game preseason is in the books. It's finally time for the real season. Don't miss out on any of the NBA playoff action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner, the NBA, from the play-in tournament through the finals. From every opening tip to every buzzer beater. Draftkings Sportsbook has you covered with same game parlays, live betting odds, odds boosts, and so much more. If you're new to this whole sports betting thing, it's super easy to get started. Try betting on something simple like a team to win. Go to the app, select your team, and place your first bet. It's that simple. Monday night, there's a lot of action in the NBA. We got Knicks, Sixers, Game 2. Knicks are five and a half point favorites. Cavs are also five and a half point favorites over the Magic. The Nuggets, game 2 against the Lakers. It should be a great game. Seven and a half point favorites against the Lakers. Here's something else to sweeten the deal for all the new customers.

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Com. B-b-b-b-a-l for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Okay, let's go. Now in the street, there is violence, and then a lot of work to be done. No place to hang a low washing, and then I can't lay all on the sun. Oh, no. We're going to rock down to electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're going to rock down to electric avenue. It's part of My Take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings Sportsbook. New customers download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use code take. That's code take to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. It is playoff season. Hank put it perfectly. He said there's no better couple of weeks here where we have game after game after game. Nba playoffs have kicked off. Stanley Cup playoffs have started. Pft. Yes. You want to overreact?

Yeah. The Los Angeles Clippers are going to win the West.

Oh.

Not. They're going to compete. Hey, I said that mostly just to get Hank's hopes up because Hank is grasping at all the straws. If you throw any team out there, any one individual player that you think can shut Jokić down, Hank's like, Yep, because he just doesn't want to see the nuggets.

Hank has gotten to the point where he admitted to us that he looked already at the NBA final schedule and was saying it's going to be a tough schedule for him. He was like, Game 4 is on a Friday in Denver. Going through it like that where it's just set.

He was looking at how it lined up with the show, so he'd have to record.

Yeah, he wants to go on the wood.

He wants to Or he would have to record, I think, at least a couple of pods right after games, right?

Yeah, on the wood.

Well, no, I don't want to. I'm only trying to go to the wood on non-recording nights, but game one and two, which would be home games because Celtics have the best record in the NBA, are on a Thursday and Sunday.

Well, Hank, you did fire me the fuck up with your tweet being like, This is it, the two weeks, my favorite two weeks. I'm happy you took that because I feel like I am guilty of having way too many favorites.

Yeah, what are your favorite weeks? I know that your conference Championship Week is your Feast Week is your favorite week. Yeah.

Wild Car Weekend, Super Wild Car Weekend.

I like Divisional Weekend.

I also sneaky like Conference Championship Sunday.

Yeah.

I just like the variety because it's... Obviously, it's also The first two weeks of the year, I'm really getting into hockey, but it's every single night.

This is the start of hockey. Yeah, you get to have your one seed Celtics play and also the start of hockey season at the same time.

Every hockey playoff game is It's just the best. The crowds are crazy. Never over. It's way different than the regular season.

We should do Mount Rushmore of weeks for this Mount Rushmore. There's a lot of meat on that. World Cup Week, great week right when it kicks off.

I just like the two different sports. That's where it's tough to beat this two weeks.

If you do have two teams in the playoffs, in the NBA and the NHL, it's a great time. You really can't get anything done at work. Yeah.

All right. Well, so let's overreact some games. You want to just go chronological order in the games this and then we'll do hockey? Because by the way, you saying that every second is a heart attack, I feel like the Bruins just spank the Leaps every year. That might just be a memory of just... Maybe it happened twice, but it feels like it happens all the time.

No, more than twice. The Bruins, the Maple Leaps are the 76ers of the NHL.

That's a good point. To your specific team.

Yeah, they're always regular season, crazy fan base, and then they play the Boston team and get smoked.

And their fans caused them to lose. Without fail.

Yeah. Okay. Then they say it's because of a matchup, and it's like they haven't got out of the first round.

Well, their matchup is Sansona off against a hockey puck, and the puck is going to win that one. Yeah.

All right, so let's go through some games. Let's talk some games. They are game one, so let's not totally overreact, but let's overreact. The first game, which was perfect, it was the Saturday noon game is just a perfect analogy for the Texans game on Saturday for Wild Card Weekend. But Cavs Magic, the Cavs and Magic doing throwback basketball. They should actually play this. They should play this series in grainy footage because it is '90s basketball. Defense, both teams are really good defensively. I'm just going to throw this out here. Bad strategy if you do Orlando Magic to have your three point guards go combined over 17.

Yeah, not good. Not a good one to have. But I think this is going to be one of those series that the Cavs are going to win. I think they'll win both at home. Then the Magic will win a couple at their home. The series hasn't even started yet.

They do have to put the ball in the basket, though, because the Cavs shot 27% from three, and they won by 14. It was tough. Again, the Magic have statistically one of the best, or if not the best, defenses in the NBA, and the Cavs are also very good defensively when they ratchet it up. But it was tough to watch. It was hard for them to put the ball in the basket. Did you also see in this game We had the first two minutes. Jake, maybe take off your headphones. Don't listen to this part. We had the first two minutes of the game. There was technical difficulties, no announcers, and it was so nice.

It matched up perfectly with this game.

It was so nice.

Because it was like you're going back in time a little bit. With the announcers, sometimes this happens. Once a year, it'll happen in a football game where you get, usually like college football, maybe like the third-rate Big Ten game, the sound audio issues cut out for 10 minutes, and you're like, It's nice just hearing the sounds. It's nice. Let the game talk.

We don't need anyone telling us.

In fact, some of the best things that we ever said to Joe Buck, you nailed that call because you didn't talk. You let the moment breathe. Maybe they should just not talk all the time. I would love to hear Tony Romo not talk. I could listen to Tony Romo not talk for hours.

Jake, do you think there was an emergency text message with Iron Eagle, Kevin Harland, Jim Nance? They figured out that they don't need us.

No, that'll never happen. People say that, and after 10 minutes, they'll be like, All right, it's nice to have. We just spent 10 minutes last week on this show talking about how much Verne Lundquist means to the game of golf.

That's the vibe. Golf is different. Golf is different. And also, Verne is a legend.

Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying, you guys trash the influencers.

No, but it was nice. It was just nice. Maybe it was because just hearing the crowd all juiced up.

Because no one talks about when influencers are good. People just love to trash them.

I'll tell you what. You just said Verne Lundquist.

No, I'm just saying the The casual fan is just... They're only saying bad things about broadcasters.

Jake, are you concerned at all that one day they'll just come up with AI and they'll have AI, Brent Musburger announcing a game, and we'll be like, This is awesome. Yeah.

Maybe they'll give an alternate version.

Oh, AI, John Maddon would be great.

Sign me up right now.

An alternate version with Nat Sounds, but no. I think within sports media, there will always be a need for a playback.

You know what it is? It's way more easy to tolerate if it's at a home game. You get the crowd vibe. If this was in Orlando and the match was playing that poorly and get the shit kicked out of him, it would feel awkward. It would be like, This is cringe. I need to hear something just to make me feel not weird.

Yeah, and it was also the way the game started, the 90 seconds that there was no announcement. I think it was Max Struis hit a three, and then Donovan Mitchell hit a three, and it was like the place was just fucking going nuts.

Yeah. I don't know what it says about me, but every time I watch the heat play, I'm like, Max Struis is definitely still on that team somewhere.

I'm hoping Cleveland can win a series because, fun fact, little fun fact, the Cleveland Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, has never won a playoff series without LeBron James.

But he wrote that comic sans letter that told me that they were going to win a title before LeBron did.

Yeah, he's never won a playoff series.

Interesting.

Actually, maybe the playoffs haven't started for him. They haven't started. He's never won a playoff series.

Yeah. Cleveland's fun. And honestly, I think the Magic are fun. They're a little bit young. They just can't score the basketball. They need to make a couple of additions here or there. You know what? They need- Point card. They need Mo Wagner. Yeah.

Point card. 0 for 17 point cards. Tough. That's not great. I'm just excited to watch a series where the total just keeps ticking lower and lower. I think it was like 208. Now, game 2 is 202. I wouldn't be shocked if we get to the low 190s because they're, again, a lot of great defense, but also some not great shooting. Yeah. Okay. Next game we had on Saturday, Suns and T-Wolves. Just a general thought before When we talk basketball, the T-Wolves should just stick with their throwbacks. Those are so clean. The center court, the home Whites, they're so clean.

Yeah, we go through this. It's cyclical with a lot of teams where you long for their throwbacks, and then they are the last team to change up their old uniforms. You're like, These look corny as hell, and you desperately want to change. Then 10 years goes by, you're like, Damn, those were way better than these.

Right, because I think the regular ones are just like new age with the font, the blue and the lime green thing.

It just- Like Seahawks. Great throwback. They're like Seahawks vibes. The old ones with the solid green, the green that's like Ninja turtle green in your face. Yeah.

I like that. But this game, Passing the Torch.

Anthony Edwards is a legit superstar now.

That was so awesome. That was such a great moment because if people missed it, Anthony Edwards played great. The T-Woles were awesome, and he was talking so much shit to KD, and KD was laughing about it.

He couldn't do anything about it. He was like, Yeah, you're right. You're dunking on me right now.

It wasn't KD's fault. Kd played well. I think the Timberwolves were basically like, Let's just let KD play Isobal and eliminate Booker, who was a no-show. But it was a cool moment. Here's my fun stat. I have some fun stats for every game. Here's my fun stat for this game. Rudy Gobert had 16 rebounds. The Suns as a team had 28.

It's pretty bad.

It No toughness. It was crazy how many second shots the T-Wolves got and just were so much more physical. Why don't the Suns get more shit?

Well, here's the thing about the Suns. They're missing Chris Paul. They are missing Chris Paul. They're missing Chris Paul big time. That's one. Then you've got a bunch of teams in the West that are now playing to determine who the real problem, who was the guy that was responsible for fucking up the entire Nets experiment. Yeah, but it- KD He's just not tough.

But doesn't it feel... Well, he did play well. His teammates did not... That's the point. If you go down the list, if the Bucks go out early, that's a big story. Giannis goes out early. If the Clippers, oh, my God, another failed year. The Lakers, all these teams, the Celtics, they lose before the finals. I feel like if the Suns lose, everyone's like, Oh, okay. Even though that they are another big three, quote, unquote, with Biel, Booker, and Kevin Grant, I feel like they escape by. Again, this is an overreaction. They easily can win this series, although I don't know how they're going to rebound if Rudy Gober is going to do that every game.

Just two years ago, we had the Suns and four guy. Yeah. Suns were looking good.

Remember him?

Future looked bright. Yeah, that guy.

He came on the show.

Yeah, he came on the show. That was quite a moment. The guy was awesome.

The guy was awesome, yeah.

But yeah, they were punishing the nuggets, right? Yeah. And how quickly things have changed. Obviously, injuries have a lot to do with that. You're right. Katie, he's not the problem. But building a big three out of Booker, Katie, and Beel, it's a soft big three. Right.

It's the soft. They don't get in a lot of shit. I don't know. If they get bounced in the first round, I don't know. People are just like, Oh, Katie's old.

They need somebody that can light a fire on them. They would actually-Tiburows with a higher seed.

I understand, but the sons are, when they were constructed, everyone's like, They're a problem.

Yeah. They need to get a psycho on that team.

Booker needs to go up a That's all you got to say whenever you have disappointments.

I guess Grayson Allen is a psycho, though.

Grayson Allen is a good basketball. He just got paid a lot of money. All he does is hit threes, and he still wears those weird Forest Gump ankle braces, which always make me laugh. He turned his ankle in this game. Okay, T-Wolves in four. Whoever wins game one is four.

Five.

That'll go six or seven.

Yeah, I do, too. I know five as well. Booker has to play What did he end up? I think he ended up with 17 points, which the way they're built- He had 18. The way they're built, KD, Booker, Beal have to score 70 points at least. I'm putting that one on him. I'm not putting that one on Katie. I'm putting that one on Booker. So maybe I'm the one who's soft and giving him a pass. Nick Sixers. What a game. Garden was rocking. I was actually going I was going to give Max... If the Sixers had won this game, I was going to give Max a big compliment because it felt like this was the dawning of a new Max because Embiid goes down on an awesome dunk, looks like the season is over yet again. Then Max, I went to look and see if he was spiraling, and he just had Sixers' second half game of the year. Now, they ended up losing the game, but they did cover the second half. Max, I think it honestly just comes out of the fact that the Knicks role players are better than the Sixers role players.

Yeah, I mean, it's game one. This is- Overreactions, though.

Yeah. If you were to look at- Deuce McBride in your face. Yeah. 21 points.

Is Deuce McBride going to do that every game?

I mean, if you were to say that about- You know he's not going to... Tobias Harris is never going to do it.

No, he's terrible. But I mean, we had nick Patum go for 25 the day before. They didn't show up yesterday.

Yeah. How many points did he have? I think he had three. Like three points?

Yeah. And role players do play better at home in the play-off. Yeah, for sure. So that's definitely part of it where Josh Hart scored more than he usually does.

In the end of the game, Josh Hart made every single shot. You're going to have games like that, and they won by seven points.

I'm interested in mentally where you're at when you're watching this game. When Jalen Brunson does something awesome, is there a quarter of a second where you're pumped up and then you have to be like, Oh, shit.

Well, Brunson played like shit.

Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

He gave all the credit to you, so you're surprised.

When any of those Nova guys, when they do something cool for Just a second, just a second, are you like, Oh, that was awesome?

Josh Hart, no. Brunson. There's just a special place in my heart for Jalen Brunson, so it's tough. But he's the enemy right now.

He's the enemy.

Dante, good Italian boy. I know. I love Dante, too. Dante. Valet in his car when I was in college.

Did you scratch it up? Whoa. I was joking.

No, I was just thinking about it because I don't think he tipped, and I remember I was like…

Well, college kid. College kid. College kid. Before NIL.

Before NIL.

Nil, he would have given you like 100 grand.

Well, he was going to a really nice steakhouse.

Interesting. Oh, so Jay Wright maybe paying the players off the books? How is he affording that? What car?

It was the shittiest car ever.

What did it smell like? I don't know.

Probably smelled like a college kid's car.

What does that smell like? Like weed. It smelled like weed. Jay Wright had players getting free meals left and right and just hot-boxing their cars.

Not true.

Yeah. Where's your head at for this series? Embiid.

Made a glass.

Hank, I would like to get your take on Embiid. What do you mean?

You came back in the game.

But again, I don't want to be a hater, but it's like- This isn't even about you.

Why? I asked for his thoughts because there's nothing better than when Hank can smirk and just be right about this.

Well, the playoffs, if you make it to the finals, it's a long run. How many games do you think Embiid has in him?

One came in, he's already- Seven?

I don't think they're going to win the fucking finals. I'm just trying to take it one game at a time.

When he falls, you think he's hurt- That's the new Max. Every single time he falls down, you're like, That's the end for Embiid. Yeah. Eight months. That's a problem.

Go ahead, Max. What do you think the allegations that Embiid made a glass? Learned how to fall better. Remember when Max said that for three months?

No, that was the thing because everyone's like, he falls, he falls. But he was told to fall because it's better for injury than trying to brace the impact.

But he also gets injured more than anyone in the world.

That's not true. Anthony Davis gets injured all the time.

Yeah, Max is stealing my tape. Max was saying, Yeah, he gets injured, and then five minutes later, he's going to be back in. I was like, Oh, it could be worse. It could be Anthony Davis. Every time he gets injured, he leaves the game for 15 minutes and goes to the locker room, and then he comes back. You're like, Oh, shit. I thought he was dead. Somehow he's out here playing. I respect that.

If you're boxed in as a fan, you got to just find someone else and be like, No, that guy.

He's way worse. You're correct about that take, Max.

Zion, too. Always heard.

Zion. Good point.

Glass.

Good point. Zion.

Joe came back and had a good game.

Jontay Porter is not even playing anymore.

You could be gambling on games, get a lifetime ban. Didn't do that.

Yeah, what about Hank? What about Gitty? How come we're not talking about Gitty? He's in the playoffs, too.

Yeah, he shouldn't be playing.

What the fuck? That was... Shout out our guy, Michael Malone, giving Gitty a compliment. Unprompted. Yeah, it was all strictly on the court.

Yeah. He said he dealt with some stuff off. Between the lines. Yeah.

All right. So not made of glass. Okay, I have another question for you, Max. But he healed.

He's a streaky shooter.

Okay. Why doesn't he shoot?

There is something out there. He doesn't shoot. When Embiid is on the court, he's scared to shoot.

It's crazy. He's there to shoot the basketball, and he doesn't shoot.

At the end of that, there was one possession at the end of that game where he It was just an in-rhythm shot that we needed to go down. Then I think we ended up getting a shot clock because we just didn't get a shot.

He doesn't shoot. I don't get it. His whole reason for being there is to shoot, and then he just won't shoot. It's crazy.

Where are the fans in Philly going to chant? You can't chant MVP this year, obviously. When Maxi's shooting free throws, are they going to chant for Most Improved Player?

Mip.

Mip?

Mip. Yeah. That would be cool. He was awesome.

He was good.

Maxi is great.

He was good last year, though. Why does he win the MIP?

Well, he wasn't as good last year.

No, I know, but he was good.

Yeah, it's really just going from the number three.

It's all relative. Yeah.

Last year, you said build around Maxi, and I made fun of you for that, and I would like to rescind that take. He's very good. He is very good. But actually, no, I don't rescind that take because he's very good now. He's the most improved player for a reason. Back when I said it, I was right. Now I'm right for acknowledging that he is good.Credit to me.Credit.

To you. Yeah, credit to you.

Huge credit to you.

Do you think that the Sixers coaching staff and players goes over end-of-game situations? If you're down five with 45 seconds left, the only The way to win is to foul.

Yeah, but teams don't foul in the NBA. It's crazy. They just don't. You get distorted watching college basketball where it's like they'll start fouling with three minutes left. I don't understand it.

It was mathematically impossible.

I agree with you. They don't.

They were playing defense to hope to get the ball back with seven seconds left to then have to hit a three to then have to get the ball back.

Don't worry. Don't do it. Because nick Ners says that he has some tricks ready to go. He's got some tricks. I don't know what nick Ners' tricks are going to be, but reports are out there that he has established tricks and discussed some tricks.

The quote, nick Batum hinting potential tricky stuff. Tricky stuff for game 2 adjustments for nick Ners. Last night, we know what we did wrong, and we found a way, I think this morning to do something special with us. I won't tell you what.

Tricky stuff. Doing tricks, finding tricks, is that one step before the panic button?

I'd say if you're finding that's a panic move. Yeah, right.

To have to go game 2, we need the tricks.

Yeah, you can't beat them straight up.

We got to throw some sand in their eyes.

Okay, Joel, you're going to get on your hands and knees and bark like a dog, and then they'll look at you, and then Max will just drive to the hole and dunk you.

See if we had a ladder underneath the arena we can hit him with. Yeah.

He's going to get the tricks. He's watching Globetrotters take tonight.

It's a panic move. Tricks. It's one game. If it's early to go to the tricks.

Yeah, but what if the tricks are awesome?

We won't say panic button. Where are you on the tricks meter?

You need all the tricks right now?

This is a must-trick, Sam.

You must-trick?

Six are going to win the series. I think it was plus 250.

Soulpatch?

No. No, I'm already really invested, so I don't think that I have to do any bets.

Okay. I did want to commend you, though. I feel like it's a dawning of a new match. You were way more...

Yeah. No, it's something about the Knicks. I don't know. Knicks fans are annoying, and they get it so cocky, and I'm like...

Now, you want to talk about the cocky?

They also have it one shit. It's like the Spider-Man.

Hank is just loving every second of this. Hank shouldn't be able to talk all this. He's literally scheduling his trips to Denver.

The New York Knicks are the absolute-You're in the booth. They're legendary. They're incredible. Their fan base is awesome at winning a playoff game and then getting way ahead of themselves. And I love it. So they started the We Want Boston chant after this game.

That's not even next round.

No. Rint free, Hank.

I mean, they shut down seventh Ave after they won one game against the Hawks and lost the series in five.

Yeah, but it was sick. Those videos. Also, a big bomb.

That was their first playoff win in 10 years.

Also, that was the crowning of future superstar Trey Young in that series. That's a fact.

Okay, the night game, Lakers Nuggets. I fucking love the Lakers Nuggets because it's literally the same thing every time. Lakers come out to a lead. Lebron has a great first quarter. If you look at just the stats, you could tell yourself that Anthony Davis and Jokić were played to a stalemate. But if you watch the game, Jokuj controlled everything and the Nuggets. As soon as the Lakers need someone other than Anthony Davis or LeBron James to do something, the Nuggets just kick their ass, and they win by what they end up winning by. They went by 11, and everyone's like, Lakers are so close.

Yeah, well, the first half- But that's what happens in every one of these games. The first half was really close. Then if you no ball at all, you load up on the Nuggets in the second half because it's not sustainable what they're doing. The Nuggets, they can just beat you in too many ways. And Jokuj is just too smart of a guy to let you do the exact same thing for two haves and get away with it.

It's actually really nice that the Nuggets do this for the discourse because everyone just gets to go on their shows and be like, Lakers are right there.

They're so close. Which I like. No, I love it, actually, because it allows us to then be very disappointed in LeBron when it doesn't happen. They trick you into thinking that they're good enough to compete and good enough to beat the Nuggets. The Nuggets are just on a completely different level from them. They played probably like a B, B minus game, and one by 11.

Look, we like nick right. He's a friend of ours, but he does his first quarter. He's like, No one's ever going to see this again with LeBron James. It's insane what LeBron is doing at 39. He does not have the stamina to do it for four quarters. You saw it. He scored, I think, maybe two or four points in garbage time with under a minute left in the fourth quarter. He runs out of gas, and no one else The other guys have to do stuff, and they're not able to. D'angelo Russell was terrible. Also, the Lakers just stopped running plays. As soon as Jokić starts taking over the game, they're like, All right, let's just go start chucking some threes and hope this works. And it doesn't work.

We just get hot. We turn into just one half. If we're up by any point or if we're tied at halftime, let's just try to get to the second. And all we have to do is win one half, and anyone get hot for a half. So everyone just keeps shooting it. Somebody's going to be hot. Hopefully, that'll work its way out. It's not going to work its way out against the Nuggets.

I love these two teams playing against each other because it's the same game every single time. Did you see I got to find it. Jamel Hill's tweet from last year has become a meme that people were using and were copying, and everyone was like, people were confused with. She said this last year, A win is a win. I think it was after game one. But if I'm Denver, I treat this It's like a loss. Lakers figured out something by putting Hachimura on Jokich. That's one of those somewhat small adjustments to win a series. No, it's not. No, it's not. The Nuggets are better than the Lakers.

Yeah, Hachimura is not... Sorry, Hank, he's not the Jokich stopper. You have to keep looking for somebody else. Because it's not going to be anybody on this Lakers team.

I don't know, LeBron and Anthony Davis. But you know what I mean? Little magic.

You know what I mean? If you look at the box score, you're like, Anthony Davis, he was very good. And you're like, Oh, okay. He went toe for toe. He ended up with 32, 14, and five. And Jokić was 32, 12, and seven. So you're like, Oh, that's what you got. Anthony Davis played Jokić to it. But that's just not... If you watch the game, Jokić just controls everything. The game is in the palm of his hands.

The series, frankly, was over when Jokuj stepped out of his car wearing the outfit from Despicable Me. Dude. He was dressed up as Gru before the game.

I love him so much. The fact that he doesn't really do that much advertising, and then he was like, You know what? Yeah, I'm going to be the main advertiser for Despicable Me 4.

Yeah, it was great. It was fucking awesome. It was awesome. I actually like his commercial where he's talking about saving up miles to go to Serbia. Yeah.

But the Despicable Me promo was awesome. All the... What do they call them? Minions. The Minions. I've watched it. It's actually a very funny movie.

Trust me, I've never seen it.

I watched it with my kids, and it's a great-They're massively, massively successful.

Yeah.

It's a perfect I've never seen it. Kids movie because the Minions fall, and they bump their heads, and they make the sweet gibberish. It's a lot of like...

Michael Scott.

Kids' laughs.

Yeah. Would I be totally lost if I just watched Minions without watching Despicable Me?

Wait, no.

No, Minions have their own movie.

Oh, okay. They have their own movie, yeah.

I think I might have watched that.

Dressed up to.

They have their own ride at Universal.

See, I just want to- Minions is the most recent one.

I just want to jump... I think there's four?

I think there's multiple Minions.

Which one did I watch?

You might have watched just Minions.

Minions is the one everyone dressed up in tuxedos to.

I think I just watched Minions.

I might just hop right in, just cold turkey right into Minions without any of the lore or the backstory.

I watched Minions.

Memes is raising his hand. Yes, Memes, you may talk.

Minions is a prequel to Despicable Me. Yeah, because is Minions the one where they show the history of time with the Minions? Yeah. I saw Minions. Great movie. In England, and then they meet Little Brew. They do a Forest Gump Minions thing.

So Max pulled up the official timeline. So there was the original Despicable Me in 2010, and then there were two Minions versions that are prequels, but they were filmed out of order.

Filmed?

Well, they were released out of order.

It's based on a true story.

It's true, yeah. It's a documentary. The second one. Wait, so you're implying that there's an entire Minionverse that exists just like the normal universe does, where everything that happens in our life also happens to the Minions?

Yeah.

So 9/11 happened to the Minions?

No, they went through it all.

Like JFK, a Minion JFK.

There were many good Minions.

Yeah, on all sides.

Lahrenan just scored his eighth point.

He turns into Squidward.

I love this Lakers Nuggets series. Do you think the Lakers can do it, Hank?

I want to believe.

I mean, I look really stupid, but I just think the Nuggets... I think the Nuggets We do it all the time in sports where a team won a title, and then they maybe aren't as dominant the next year, and everyone's trying to poke holes. It's like, Nuggets, when they're all healthy and it's those five guys, they're just really fucking good.

Yeah, they're a problem. I'll be just rooting best case or at the very least, just for some six, seven-game series.

To get tired. Yeah.

You want to see-You're already doing the rest. You want to wear down. We're two months away from the NBA Finals.

Yeah, hopefully it's two months of war. Yeah.

Hank wants Jokić after three games to be talking about going back to his horses already.

Some are saying you're scared because Why wouldn't you- Nuggets are good. No, but if you're so good, why wouldn't you say, Hey, we're so good. We don't care however we get there, whoever we play, however much rest they have. It doesn't matter. We're the best team. You're already trying to do... You're actually on... You're one step away from Panic Button. You're trying to do tricks. You're doing tricks on it, little bro.

No, I'm giving the nuggets the respect they deserve.

They're low-key glazing them. Yeah.

They're fucking good.

Yeah, they are. They're really good. The thing about... We talked about this with Mike Michael Malone, excuse me, when we interviewed him last week. But I don't think they've reached the point where anybody really hates the nuggets, right? On a national level. No. We're still like, this is-Definitely not. This is beautiful basketball to watch.

They're unhateable.

They're fun. I think they got two more chips in them before they become I hateable.

I don't even know how you would hate. Where would you start with Jokuj to hate him?

The Jokuj brothers, a little shady. No. Michael Porter Jr, a little shady. No.

Family, a little shady.

Actually, Michael Porter Jr.

He's a great guy. Shout out Michael Porter Jr. Because him having... I would not stand in front of the media and take that question where they were like, Hey, so one of your brothers is going to jail, and the other one just got the MBA. How are you feeling? And he answered it very well, very eloquently. He gets my MVP of the weekend.

I think he said, I have 12 brothers in this locker room with me.

I think he said 15. He was doing the math in his head, being like, Wait, we got G League two-way guys.

Yeah, the trainers. Yeah, no, they're not even close to being hateable. The only way that Jokić will become hateable is in the Patrick Mahomes vein, where you don't hate him because he's a bad guy. You hate him because he just prevents you from winning championships.

Hank, can I do a True Serum Hank segment? Sure.

I'll also quickly say before, if the Lakers are going to play in the next game, LeBron will not finish the series. Oh, okay. He'll pull an injury. He did it Saturday night. I think him and Anthony Davis missed four layups in a row at the end of the game. I said it out loud. I was like, LeBron's going to... This is fake injury territory. And the next play, he fell, held his arm, and was on the ground doing the thing where he was looking around to see if people bought how injured he was acting, and then got up. It was fine.

All right. Truth Serum, Hank. You have to answer this as truthfully as you can. How many injuries are you rooting for? None.

I don't want to win like that.

It can't be zero.

No, I don't want to... You can't put that into the world. You truly can't.

You basically were just saying that you wanted Embiid to get hurt.

No, I was pointing out that he's- That's like saying, the sun will rise. Yeah, no. I don't want Embiid to get hurt. I can just look at data and history and acknowledge that he is made of glass. The stats and the fact every playoff series, he's out of gas, hurt, whatever it may be.

He just doesn't- Bring up those stats.

Yeah, Hank. All right, Hank. Wednesday. Give us a report. Wednesday, he'll give us a report.

The playoff injury stats.

Just to put a little above- What about just when he was out of shape?

You said injury. Out of shape is in class.

Mental injury.

To put a bow on what Hank said earlier regarding the NHL, the Maple Leaps-Bruins. Max sent this over. This is a very funny stat. In the postseason, the Maple Leaps and the Bruins, Toronto has won 40 games, Boston has won 42. So Boston just barely edges the Leaps out. They're tied with eight series wins each. And then at the bottom of the screen, you look at it, the last time the Maple Leaps beat the Bruins in a series was 1959. Wow.

So domination.

Domination.

Spanking. Yes. Spanking. All right. Before we get to Sunday's games, quick word. If you're trying to go to an NBA playoff game, use game time Game Time is the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You can go to some baseball games. Cubs are home all week. I went to the game today. Beautiful. The weather is starting to turn. It's baseball weather. You can go to... Why don't you look up, Hank? Give me tickets to the Cubs this week. Prices. So game time. You shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts.

I'm seeing some flash deals for $3.

Whoa, okay. Yeah, weekday, still April. I like that. So you can go to game time right now. You go to a baseball game for three bucks. Zone deals when you're feeling flexible, and their lowest price guaranteed means that if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else. Game time will credit you 110% of the difference. Game time is best place for last minute seats with up to 60% off your favorite events. What are you waiting for? Hank's going to buy those tickets right now. So take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game time. Download the Game time app, create an account and use code PMT for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download the Game time app. Last minute tickets, the lowest price, guaranteed. Okay. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Celtics. Heat. Apologies. Well, Mr. Per and the Bulls choked on Friday night. Can I, since we didn't have a show after Friday night, permission I'm going to just see red for a minute here. It's a real quick minute. The Chicago Bulls are a joke of an organization. Jerry Reindsorff is one of the worst owners, if not the worst. In the NBA, he's a fucking clown, and I need people to understand because what happens with a franchise like the Bulls, because they have the history of Michael Jordan and the six titles, and they had Derrick Rose, who, that was just to remind you, it was a 1.7% chance to win that lottery.

It was the second longest odds ever. I think the Shaq lottery was the longest for the magic. They had Michael Jordan, and other than that, they liked to sell on nostalgia and nothing else and not put out a competent, competitive basketball team. I have some stats for you because I want people to realize that Jerry Reindsorff is so, so bad. Because of the history of the Bulls, you think that organization that bad, but they are that bad, and they are that pathetic. Jerry Reindsorff should be put on blast all the time on a national media basis everywhere because he's a joke. In a league where more than half the teams make the playoffs, that's not even counting the play-in. I'm saying it's more than half the teams make the playoffs because I think it was 30 teams and 16 teams make the playoffs. The Chicago Bulls have made the playoffs two times in the last nine season, two times. They're back to back, 9, 10 game champions, and that's it. So they made the playoffs two times in the last nine seasons. Since 2014, '15, which was the last Tibbs, Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler year, they have won three total payoff games, three playoff games.

They have more playoff wins in the last nine years than just two franchises in the NBA, the Magic and the Pistons. They have more playoff appearances in the last nine years than just two franchise, the Kings and the Hornets. If you told someone, Kings, Hornets, I know the Kings have turned around in the last two years, but Kings, Hornets, Magic Pistons. People don't put the Bulls in that group. The Bulls are in that group. They should actually be very much in that group. They're a fucking joke. I went through it. If you took out the two Boylen years, which Jim Boylen was one of the worst coaches ever. The Bulls were not trying. The last twelve seasons since Derrick Rose got hurt, the Bulls are averaging How many wins a year?

Thirty-five.

Forty-one, which is by design. That's exactly what they want. Here's a quote from Jerry Reinsdorff. You ready for this? Sports is a business of failure, but the fact that you finish second or third or fourth, it doesn't mean you had a bad year. I think the important thing to fans is, well, they want you to win championships. They want you to know that when they get down the last month of the season, you still have a shot. You're still playing meaningful games. If you can do that consistently, you'll make your fans happy. This is all by design.

Define meaningful. Yes.

It means get into the play.

You think the plan that qualifies the the box off for him as being a meaningful... Because essentially, you're playing a mini-playoff series.

He does not care about winning titles. He cares about winning 41 games, having some games down the stretch where people can tune in and be like, Will the Bulls make the playoffs? The reason why he does that is because nine out of the last 10 years, not counting the two COVID years, the Chicago Bulls have led the NBA in attendance. He does not give a fuck. He wants to build a team to never go over the luxury tax. The Bulls are the only team in the NBA who have not made a single move at the trade deadline in the last three years. That's the whole design. The whole design is to put out a team that is exceedingly mediocre to get people into the stands and to never actually try win a championship.

He's focusing all of his energy on the White Sox and building them up.

But he's a joke. I want people to realize because it does trick you when you think of the Bulls and you think of MJ. They are no different than the Pistons, than the Magic, who are in the playoffs, who've actually built it. Actually, those teams, the Pistons, the Magic, the Hornets, the Kings, they've actually at least been bad enough for stretches where they get top three picks. The Bulls' only chance of getting a top three pick is getting a 1.7 lottery shot where they get Derrick Rose, and then they blame his injury on the next 10 years. They are a joke of an organization. Jerry Reindsorff is the worst owner. He's a piece of shit. He does not care about winning. He just wants to take your money, have you sit in there and be like, Oh, they won 41 games. Maybe they have a shot. Fans are smarter than that now. They never had a shot. It was a joke what happened against the heat. They would have gotten killed by the Celtics. It doesn't matter. They suck. Jerry Reindsorff, fuck you, dude.

That's what I respect about European soccer fans is when the owners fuck with them like this. They're like, riot. They'll show up with flares. They'll throw eggs at the guy's car on the street. In America, we're just like, Yeah, this sucks.

He's literally admitting that he does not care. He just wants to sell tickets and be just good enough to be average.

To a certain extent for him, playoff series get in the way of his jet-setting lifestyle. Yeah. No, I mean- I'd rather not work.

Friday night, I was talking with a bunch of friends. Okay, I want them to win because I like some of these guys on the team. But also So Jerry Reindsorff wants nothing more than to have two more ticket gates for playoff games that he has no chance of winning that series. That's a dream for him. All right, that was my C-RED. Celtics, heat.

Sorry, hate. You know what sucks, too, is the fact that they They sometimes, occasionally, will win a play-in game. Everybody gets a momentary. They get gassed up by that. They're like, That was a really fun night of basketball. I can't believe that Kobe White did that. That was so much fun. It's fun to be a Bulls fan. You get this temporary fix. It's like little tiny hit. But then if you step back and you look at what that game was-It was nothing. It was the most inconsequent. The stats don't even count. That stat will never show up in NBA history. It was nothing. It was a fun night. You might have had fun watching the Bullets for that one night. But at the same time, it's like a bandaid that's on a grenade wound. Yeah, it's nothing.

They're probably going to... Here's what they're going to do. They're going to probably resign DeMar DeRosen, who I like DeMar deRosen, great guy, great player, 34 years old, whose game doesn't fit on the modern NBA. They're going to resign Demard Drozen and then be like, Lonzobal will fix everything, even though he hasn't played basketball in two and a half years.

He'll be okay.

That's what's going to happen.

Made out of glass.

Fix his shot. Then guess what they're going to do? They're going to win 38 games and lose in the playing game. It's going to be like... It is actually the worst place you can be as a franchise, what Jerry Reinsdorf has built, where it's like you're never actually competing, and you're also never tanking to the point where you can rebuild your roster.

Yeah, you want to have a plan because if you- There's no...

Well, the plan... His plan is- He does have a plan. He's working his plan perfectly.

But his plan doesn't make sense is the thing. If you have a crummy team, you want to be the worst. You want to be like with the Wizards. For me, it's like that's why I always call them the most inconsequential team in professional sports, because for the longest time, they were never relevant to really a playoff conversation at all, but they were also never really irrelevant enough to get that top pick. What you're describing now, All it takes is just sign Jordan pool for a season. Then next thing you know, you're in the lottery.

Guess what? The Wizards. I'm going to try to find where I found all the stats. The Wizards have won more series. End of the playoffs, more times.

John Wall. We had Paul pierce. That was a fun team then.

That's the whole point of this rant is that I want people to stop thinking of the Bulls. Maybe people already do, but I think if you ask 100 people the Bulls, they'd be like, Oh, they're not a bad franchise. No, they are. They're a bad franchise. Hank, Celtics. Sorry. They're so much better than the heat.

Seen green.

You don't have to worry about this series at all.

Yeah, unless they try and take out our best players.

Yeah. Is that...

They call the hit in? Got it.

That's why I was talking about the injuries. Got it.

That's why you said you're rooting for zero injuries. Got it. Correct. Got it. Okay. Yeah, now it makes sense.

The Celtics were up 16 with a minute and a half left. Heat call time out, weird move. Then a player or two later, Caleb Martin came in super low on Tatum getting a rebound.

Scared you?

Yeah. It was a scary fall.

Yeah.

Then it was Jalen that got in his face, right?

Yeah, weird timing with the timeout. A weird-looking play.

Appropriate response by the Celtics?

Yeah.

You need enough guys.

Missoula and Missoula after they asked him about it, and he was like, I was loving it.

Yeah. Oh, he said that. He was like, Yeah. Fucking Missoula. If you didn't listen to our interview with Missoula on Friday, go back and listen to it because he the man.

I was excited for him to choke me out. Yeah.

Please put that on a quote card, but don't say who he's talking about. That man to choke me out. That was one of those interviews where there were so many crazy things that he said that I absolutely loved that people didn't know what crazy thing to write an entire article about. Right.

Yeah, we had a bunch of articles written where it was just, and this, and this, the revolving door.

Yeah. But to Hank's point on that play, Jake, is this culture where you're sending in goons to try to tabletop somebody and get a neck injury? Sounds like it.

Well, if it was intentional, obviously, I disavowed. But if it wasn't intentional, then they're just pointing the finger for no reason. There's no proof.

What did you think when you saw the play?

It looked like a basketball play. He was looking at the hoop, looking for the rebound.

Jason's leg. Jason, I like Jason. His leg, his leg, his arm, pit?

Jason. Drew holiday may have pushed him into him.

That's what I'm talking That's what I was saying, too.

Hank, is it- Yeah, he pushed him. Is it weird that you spent the whole season, or at least the last two months of the season, being like, Get us to the playoffs because we already clinched the number one seed. We're the best team in the NBA. This is all father, and now you're in the playoffs, and it feels like it's the same thing where it's like, get you to the conference finals because the heat are just not... I don't know if they would win this series with Jimmy Butler, but without Jimmy Butler, they just do not have offense. No.

Yeah, I mean, again, I'm definitely thinking ahead. It does feel... It brings me back to the old Patriots days, not here anymore, but it is first series formality. Even if you lose in the conference finals, it's a failure of a season. Just get me to the big one.

You can't say Patriots when you haven't won yet.

No, I'm saying it's Max. It feels like how it felt-Max doesn't understand that.as a Patriots fan when every year they're the best team in the regular season, and you're not thinking about You're thinking about the Super Bowl. You're looking at the other conference thinking about Super Bowl matchups. You just bypass the Eastern conference.

I think that's completely fair, given the road that the Celtics will have to go through. You should just want to get through this more. I Can I actually say, what do you think the over-under is for Celtic's losses before the NBA final? 6.5? 7.5?

They'll have some wonky losses.

I would hammer that on. 6.5? I would hammer that on.

5.5?

No. Before the Bucks might give them a couple of games.

Yeah, through the final?

All the Eastern Conference.

I'd set it at four and a half.

Four and a half.

Because I don't think they're going to lose a game here. Maybe say one. I don't think they would lose more than one to the Cavs of the Magic.

I think the number is five and a half.

But if they lose, I think they'll lose maybe one here, one in the second round, and then they would just have to win in six in the Eastern Conference final. That'd be four.

I think they're going to lose one. They might lose two next I don't know.

I don't think so.

It's going to be easy for them. It should be. My point is-No injuries. You're actually right to think this way.

I know.

Yeah.

But then all you have to worry about is certainly hope that no one else gets injured on the Western side.

No, we need fucking LeBron and AD, two top five players in the world. He just wants them so bad.

Greatest player of all time. I know it's not going to happen, but I would love to have the Lakers.

I will wear a LeBron Lakers jersey on this show for a week.

If Chad Holmgren was just an all-time block there in a big moment We're watching the end of this game while it's going on. We'll talk about it in a second. Hank, so to go back to my question, you are like, this is... I know you're getting up for these games, but you're also just... It's just like, get to the next round.

Don't get hurt. You're watching these games like, I was ready for them to pull them. When they got up 30, the heat came back a little bit. But seeing a fall like that with a minute left in a meaningless game is terrifying.

Sga just had an incredible shot there.

Yeah, that was actually like a Thirty seconds of the Thunder's future flashing before our eyes, and it looks fucking awesome. Chad Holmgren with an enormous block, and then SGA with an awesome man one.

The team could beat them, I guess.

Yeah, he's already doing the... Hank was like, Chad Holmgren can lock down Jokić.

He needs to gain probably 60 pounds.

No one can lock down Jokić. That's the thing about Jokić. Stretch them out. But if you say Jokić, you can't score, he's just going to be like, Okay, I'll 25 assists. And they'll be like, Okay, you can score. He's like, Okay, then I'll score 30 points.

He's a problem.

He's a problem.

Okay, so good job. Good win. Thanks. Yeah, not worried about this series. No. Next game, Wednesday, that's the worst.

Then they have three games in four days. I've never seen a back-to-back in the NBA play-off. Have you?

That's crazy. Yeah, I think they've been doing it recently. There's like arena shit.

Yeah. Sorry that the Bulls suck because I know you wanted to go to... I would have gone to I had a game with you on Saturday. You would have spanked me.

Choked out.

We would have gotten choked out by Joe Mazzula. Okay, Mavs, Clippers. I got bamboozled.

By the Mavs?

Yeah, I mean, Kawhi out. Yeah. You know what I forgot? The goal was better without Kauai. Well, you know what I forgot? We need to just remind ourselves this. James Harden. I went through it. I didn't add up all the stats, but if you look at it, just perusing it. James Harden, when he has rest, basically Every game one, he's awesome. And he was awesome. He just has a lot of rest. He feels awesome. He scores a lot of points. He's awesome. And then game two happens two days later, and he's tired.

Paul George back on his bully shit. Yeah. Yeah, the Clippers look good. Steve Ballmer was having a great time on the courtside, too. Just fucking pumped for everything.

He was. We even had the fake Dallas comeback that made it look a little bit close for a minute there. Luka got his points. He got everything.

Luka did get his points.

Well, that's the thing, the comeback, where they were... They scored like... What did they score? 40 points in the first half? They were so, so bad.

Eight in the second quarter.

8 in the second quarter, yeah. Oh, yeah, 30 points. Sorry, 30 points in the first half. That's almost impossible to do if you're not the Cavs of the Magic.

I don't grind the film like you guys do, but it occurs to me when I'm watching Luca, when he's playing from a deficit, when his team's not leading, he seems to take a hell of a lot of time off the shot clock. Yeah.

Well, he's got to dribble.

He has to dribble, yeah.

He's got to dribble. They were screwed, too, when Daniel Gaffer got it, even though he's not... Daniel Gaffer is one of those guys. He's good. But when you're like, We need Daniel Gaffer to be awesome all the time, there might be a flaw. He is good, but it might be a flaw.

Yeah.

I got hurt by the mess. I did. I bought it. I'm an idiot. I feel stupid. I think the Clippers are underdogs again in game two.

And I like the Clippers again. I like the Clippers in the series. I don't know. I'm dumb for thinking that a team that's led by James Harden can do some damage in the playoffs, but I-Game once. But I do.

Game once, he can do it.

But even if it's later on in the series, if Kawhi is back, you get Paul George cooking. I don't know. I feel like this Clippers team could do something.

Me, too.

Game ones from Houston, James Harden on 20, 27, 24. This is Mike Francesa bit 20, 28, 17. Here we go. 37, 20, 44, 41, 41. The guy likes rest. 29, 35, 37, 36. Did he do it last year, too? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Guy likes rest. When he gets his rest, yeah, he scored 45 in game one against the Celtics. Then he did have one other big game, but all the other games, he was under 20 points.

Did he have single digits for one game?

Yeah, he had nine in game seven. Yeah. Yeah. The guy likes rest. So just remember, James Harden, when he has rest, bet him.

If they take care of business, get the Mavericks, he'll have a bunch of time to rest before the next round. Yeah.

All right. Dame time. Dame time in Milwaukee. That was awesome.

He was on fire. He went off in the first half.

He had 19 points in the first quarter. He was incredible. Then it just felt like he finished with only 35. I say only 35, but he scored in the first quarter. 19 of their 30. It was just too late for the Pacers. They made a little run, and it was just not enough.

They got to within 10 or something down the stretch, but the game never really felt close. If Jonas comes back, Giannis back, that would concern him. That's the only way that I could see the Celtics losing seven games.

Is Giannis would be... Yeah. I mean, if he's fully healthy, he still would be the best player in a series against Celtics. Celtics would have the next four best players, but Giannis would be the best player.

Yeah, that's the only issue for the Sees, Hank. But yeah, the Bucks, it feels like it's going to be an easy series for him. Again, overreaction. Sweep.

Sweep.

By the Bucks? Belt to ass. Yeah.

When is Giannis coming back? Who comes back first, Giannis or Kua?

I feel like Kawhi plays every other day. It depends on how he feels getting out of bed that more.

The Clippers said they're like, Yeah, we knew he was out for the last week.

Yeah.

So they were prepared for it. But yeah.

If there's bad weather, his knee swells up, he's like, Can't go.

I'm going to say Giannis. I'm going to say Giannis comes back before Kua.

No, I don't know.

I feel always mysterious what happens to Kua, but he's just always out. He's like, All right, he's out.

It would be very, very frustrating if that was your favorite team. If you're a diehard Clippers fan and having a guy that's so good, like Kua, that just sometimes decides like, No, I'm not going to do it today.

But call him for the win. No.

Thunder take game one. Thunder take game one. We can talk about that game. It was a rock fight to start the game. But the fact that we got to see that Chet Holmer in SGA at the end. These young Thunder, watch out.

Yeah. They might just be too young to know they're not supposed to be this good.

It does suck so bad that the Zion's out because the Pelicans are a weird matchup for a lot of teams with their size, and it's just so frustrating to have him out of this series. I want to see him play in the playoffs.

Do people like watching C. J. Mccollum play? Because I do. Yeah. But I feel like- Has he haze? I feel like I see a lot of discourse about him being a super boring superstar. I don't know if he's a super boring star.

Yannis will definitely be back first.

Yeah? What are you reading?

Giannis is supposed to be back later in the series. Kua hasn't participated in contact practice or played since March 31st.

Okay. So yeah, that's going to be Giannis for sure. That's 100% Giannis. I like the Thunder. They're fun. That stadium actually is pretty awesome when it gets bumping. Yeah, they care. Yeah. I do think they lead the league in amount of fans that wear the T-shirt giveaways. They are number one in the NBA.

You see a lot of guys in the crowd wearing a dress shirt, a color dress shirt with the T-shirt that they just got over top of that dress shirt.

Yeah, it's not even a question. When they get that free T-shirt, it's on.

Yeah, you don't have to get dressed up to go. Look, there's seven of them.

It's crazy. They all just fall in line. They're like, free T-shirt. We got to wear it. I respect that.

I respect it, too. It's a good basketball town.

Seattle people are going to be mad.

Well, the reason why they got the team was because during Katrina, the Hornets at the time laid there, and David Stern was like, holy shit, this city actually cares about basketball. They're first on my list.

Well, and also because they bought-And then Seattle. Howard Schultz fucked that up so bad and sold the team to guys that were all from Oklahoma. They're like, Oh, yeah, we do want to move. Weird.

Seattle should have a team.

Yeah, Seattle should have a team. Okay, we want to talk some hockey. Hank punished the Maple Leaps. Yeah. Punished them.

Looking to take the all-time lead in that series.

Love the jerseys. I feel like I haven't seen those in the playoff.

Good hockey analysis. I like this.

Well, yeah, he turned the game on. All right, let's...Tucking Puck.Beastime. I was like, Oh, these are new. They probably worn them all year. But for me, they were new. Yeah, they were new.

They were sick. Who's the key to the series, Hank?

Swayman.

Swayman.

Got to be a hot goal Would you say Bergeron was a no-show? He wasn't no-show.

Yeah, you're not.

It's Marsh's team. He was handing out Pucks after the game.

How are you guys going to stop Austin Matthews?

They got a lot of chances.

Just put on the Bruin's jersey and watch them put on the Maple Leaves Jersey.Swing it.

I already answered that. Okay.

Memes. Can we talk about your game real quick? Because you lost the Hurricanes. But I thought the Islanders were... It wasn't a game where I was like, Oh, the Islanders have no chance in this series. Yeah, no. This was definitely the game they should have stole. Did you watch a game? I watched the second and third period, so I guess I missed the time when they were tied. Yeah, it was one-one pretty much the entire game. During the second- Or when the Islanders scored because the Islanders scored in the first. Islanders scoring in the first. Yeah, I didn't see an Islanders goal. It was like that the entire time. Then probably during the second period when nobody was scoring, I was like, Oh, fuck, we're in for a battle just like last year. It's going to be the exact same series.

I'm sorry.

So you're going to lose? I don't want to say it. Yeah, okay.

You're not optimistic about the- Sounds good.

Well, it's going to be a battle. We got to bounce back. Game two.

Anything can happen. It's hockey.

Anything could happen, but I think game one was the game we could have stole. We had a lot more opportunities. Refs fucked us right off the bat.

Yeah, I like that. Diving into it. No, you're right. You're right, they did. Refs fucked you that quick? They hate the Islanders.

That quick? Well, it was a flop. Instant flop. They go right to the power play score in 14 seconds. Man, that's tough. You have to do your caps?

Yeah, I've got a couple of keys to turn in this around for the cap. Okay, let's go. All right, so the Caps lose 4-1. That's what the official stats say. But if you take out three minutes in the second period, we actually tied this game 1-1. Okay. If you don't count those, and also we were pressing at the end to try to score. They probably wouldn't have scored that one either. If you take out that 10 seconds and the two and a half minutes in the second period, the Caps actually won this game 1-0 in a series where nobody thought that we could come within three goals of beating the Rangers. It turns out that we technically actually won that game.

Would the key to the game be allow the Capitals to eliminate any three minutes of their choosing?

Yeah, retroactively. Don't say it ahead of time, but after the game, I predict that if you give me those parameters, the Capitals might even sweep the range.

Okay, so we'll track that going forward that as long as PFT can eliminate three minutes of every game, you're going to win.

I'm going to win. Maybe not a sweep, but I think we'll get it done in five. Okay. My two keys to turning this around. Actually, I have three. One, start a fight. Whenever you're- Always. Whenever you're very clearly the less talented team, just try to get another skin. Send Tom Wilson out there, try to wreck the franchise for the second time in four years. Although they do have rimpy It scares me. I don't think that Tom could take him, but it would be a good fight. I'd like to see it. Either get into a fight, that's key number one. Key number two is, try not at any point in the game to allow your team to get outshot with 20 eight shots. Yes. Try to limit the New York Rangers from... I'd put it at like 18, 18 or fewer shots in a row for them before we get one shot on that. I like that. That would be a good one. Then my other key is- We should make that a rule, too.

Yeah. Anytime the Rangers have more than 10 consecutive shots, anything after that doesn't count.

Correct. Yeah. Although, I don't want to say it won't happen, but I don't think that they'll ever have a time in this series where they get 20 consecutive shots on that because that It's crazy.

Well, not under our new rules.

Not under our new rules. Yeah, right.

Ten is the match.

We're fixing the game of hockey. Then my third key to turning this series around is that Ovechkin should have at least one shot on goal.

Okay, that's a good idea. That's the third one. That's the third one. But he healed an Ovechkin.

If Ovej can get one shot at least on goal, I think that's going to go a long way to turning this around. But yeah, that was... After the first 10 minutes, I knew that we're not as good as the Rangers, but again, it's hockey. Anything can happen.

Anything can happen.

I was already telling myself, Well, they're not used to seeing a left-handed goalie.

Yep. You actually texted us that because we all bet on the Capitals to have your back.

Chuck, he was catching a lot of pucks out there with his right-hand. They're not used. They're trying to go stick-side. There's a big fat glove there. They're not used to that. They figured that out. They figured that out after the first period.

I should have known we were in trouble because I took my son to the Cubs game when you sent that text being Never seen a left-handed goal. I should have known that was a problem.

They haven't seen it too much this year, and it takes some adjusting. They were firing a lot of pucks right into that big fat glove. But yeah, listen, I'm happy to be in the playoffs. I'm happy to have some meaningful games to root for, and anything could happen. Hockey is a weird sport, but if it goes any way at all, similarly to how it went tonight, it's going to be a very short series.

Yeah. Okay.

But with the new rules, we'll monitor.

Yeah.

Caps are up 1-0. Yeah, okay.

Nice. Then the Avs, Jets win my game of the first games.

I'm going to give that- Game of the first games. I'm going to give that my period of the week. Yeah, period of the week. The first period goes to the first period in this game.

No, the third period, too.

The third period, yeah.

The third period was good. The third period might have... You sure you want to give it to the first period?

It's tough. Yeah, I do. I want to give it to the first period.

Also, remember, we have in the running when the Islanders got screwed.

Yeah, as the nominee for period of the Week. Period of the Week. I like the first period in this game better than the third because the third didn't really get cooking until the last 30 seconds. Yeah.

Okay, so we'll do period of the Week for the rest of the playoff. Our official... Memes, can you make this graphic? Official period of the week to close this week was the first period of the Avs Jets game. Yep. I like that. I feel good about that. Yeah, that's a good one. We'll be monitoring period of the week starting Monday.

You know what? If you don't like our period of the week, make your own. Yeah.

I have my own entry. The second period of the NYPDF, the NY Hero's Hockey Game. There was a brawl.

Okay.

That's all, I think.

Now you're making me feel like I'm not supporting heroes.

Just saying.

Yeah, but that Avjet's first period was awesome.

I'm going to give the heroes period of the week goes to the second period in the heroes game. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah. Okay. We will have Biz and Wit on probably next week after draft, have them on to talk some hockey in-depth. We don't know what we're talking about, but that's fine. I think we covered it pretty good.

We don't know what we're talking about with anything. We covered it pretty good.

These are my favorite when we get to this.

Also, the Panthers one.

Yeah, the Panthers did win.

The thing about hockey fans, though, if you're a diehard puck boy, you're probably also listening to Spitten Chicklets or a podcast that will make you smarter and know what they're talking about when it comes to hockey. Listen- They know they're not going to get that from us.

People know we're more football guys than anything else. We do love all the sports. We'll talk about all the sports. This is the time of year where people will just... We probably have said, I don't know, 10 things that have been wrong. Some magic fan will hit me up and be like, Dude, you're so off. I'm like, You know what? You're right. I am.

Hand up. I'm definitely a hockey casual. I'm coming out as a hockey casual.

You are right. You are right. I am wrong. But yeah, I thought that was a good recap of the weekend. All right, should we do Who's Back of the Week? We have more to talk about from the weekend. Some good stories, some good Who's Backs of the Week. Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. There are plenty of chances in life to make things better by choosing chill. Grab every opportunity to choose chill, then reach for a refreshing Coors Light. When you embrace a chill mindset, it's a good time to choose chill and crack open a Coors Light. Coors Light is mountain cold, refreshing, crisp, and refreshing as a Colorado Rockies. We love Coors Light. Hank was talking about how this is the best two weeks of the year. It's the best two weeks to go to a bar, watch all the games, crack open a Coors Light, enjoy some playoffs, NBA and NHL. So make the most out of the times you choose to chill. Choose Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to coorslight. Com/take. Celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado.

Coorslight. Com/take. Hank, your who's back of the week.

My who's back of the week is Tupac.

Oh.

Yeah, he is.

In the update of the Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Jay Cole wrap beef, which I'm sure you guys have been very locked in on.

Actually, I have.

I have not.

I don't like how you said that.

I think it was directed more to me.

No, I don't think so. He said you guys.

Well, I forgot you do the podcast with Arian, so he tells you. What does that mean? Well, the King Vawn thing last week. Why? I'm talking about King Vawn.

Why would you say that Arian would be able to teach me about rap?

Because when you brought up King Vawn and I was shocked about that, it turned out that that was because Arian was talking about King Vawn.

No, he wasn't.

That's what people were telling me.

No, that's not true.

You guys didn't talk about King Vawn and Macrodosin.

Maybe two years ago, three years ago.

Who brought him up?

I don't know. I don't recall, but no, that's just-That's what I was told. What is it specifically about Aaron that make you think that- Have you guys talked about this rat beef on Macrodosin?

Yes. That's what I'm talking about.

Okay, all right. But I understand- Just look at me when How do you say that we don't know?

Because I don't know.

Big Cat doesn't even know a black guy. No. You can just use him. Yeah. Uh-oh. Big Cat knows, too, now.

Anyway.

Where were we?

Kendrick Lamar, allegedly, there was a leaked song that was, Kendrick Lamar, a diss track of Drake, wasn't great. People shat on it, and then they went quiet. The rumor was that people were saying, Oh, it was AI. It wasn't really a Distract. Drake basically seems to think that it was actually Kendrick Lamar. In retaliation, he wrote a diss track and then got AI Tupac and Snoop Dogg to sing it. It's a Drake diss track, but it's like Tupac's voice dissing Kendrick Lamar and then Snoop Dogg's voice dissing Kendrick Lamar. That's cool.

I don't think it was that cool because- It was cool. Snoop Dogg is still alive, though.

Wait, so wait, hold on. You say it was cool. You say it wasn't that cool. Which one is it? Because I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on.

I don't think it was cool. I think you know who it is?

Hank, counterpoint?

It was basically like calling Kendrick Lamar out for trying to use AI as an excuse when it wasn't. So he used AI. He basically just used AI to his advantage. He did the M&M like Marshall Mather's. He dissed himself via Tupac. What the streets are saying?

The streets are saying that it's corny. The streets are saying that Drake is corny for this.

That's cool what he It's good, though.

And that all the Drake meat riders out there are just sucking it down, and they're corny, too.

Max, deciding vote. Cool. Oh, shit. That was cool?

Yeah. It was very cool. I don't know anything about that. It was funny.

Very cool. Now, very cool. Okay.

No, you can't take Tupac's voice. Now, it would be cool if Tupac was still actually alive, and Drake's the only guy that knows. That would be- Then he's like, This is AI Tupac. Then everybody out there was like, Drake, you're corny. But then in the back of his head, he's like, Yeah, but I know. I'm the only one that knows that that was real. I respect that.

I thought it was cool, but two blocks back.

Okay. Put up a poll.

Cool or not cool? We'll just tune in to Mac Dersy. I'm sure you guys will talk about it, and we'll find out once in for all.

Okay.

I'm going to go with cool.

My who's back the week being fat and winning. Oh. Fat winners. We're going to talk about the boxing a little bit.

Oh, awesome.

It was incredible because before the fight, they had to weigh in at 140 pounds or less? 140 pounds. Then Ryan Garcia said that he would pay... He weighed in at 143 pounds, which is really overweight for buyers. Very much. That's incredibly overweight. He did not give a fuck. Then he told Hanei that he would pay him $500,000 a pound over what he weighed in at.

While his dad was like, Don't do this.

Yeah. He ended up paying him 1.5 million to get into the ring. It couldn't be for a title belt, right? Because he was overweight. He was so fat.

But he still has the title.

Then he just proceeded to beat the shit out of him for, was it 12 rounds? Ten rounds? Yeah, 12 rounds. It was not particularly close. No one thought that García had a chance. I would count myself in with that group of people that thought he actually was insane.

Yeah, he was plus 600. He was acting very crazy. Turns out he just sold an awesome fight because I watched every second of it. It was a lot of clenching. Also, the ref essentially saved Devon Haynie because I think the ref was worried that Ryan Garcia was going to do something crazy. I think it was round seven where he knocked him down and the ref basically was just almost picking up Devon Haynie being like, You're good. But Garcia was awesome. He might be the new face of boxing because he's the perfect amount of crazy, fun to watch, was throwing bombs. Yeah, he's something else.

He is something else. I I actually go back and I look at all the weird stuff he's done the last couple of months, and now I don't know how much of it was an act and how much was like, he's really been crazy.

That's why he's the perfect boxer.

He went on 420, which is great for him because he was smoking the biggest blunt that I've ever seen afterwards. He might have just been the most high individual for the last two months and just allowed himself to have a schizophrenia break just from smoking too much pot.

We also had after the fight, one of my favorite encounters I've seen in a long time. Eddie Herns, our friend who's been this show, and Ryan Garcia's dad.

Hern.

Hern. Hern. Thanks, Hank. Good friend. Good friend, Eddie Herns. Ryan Garcia's dad. I think I had memes pull up the video. Did you guys see this? Yeah. It was so good. For people who don't see it, we can put this in. It is in the tunnel after the fight. Big respect to Ryan Garcia. He was amazing. Well done.

Oh, really? Fuck you. You, fuck you. You, son, you, piece of You know what I'm talking about. You might fuck you. You know you're a piece of shit.

And that's what you get.

Now, what are you going to say? Who came, bro? Who came? Fucking Devon Hady, fuck you.

Now, who you got? Who do you got?

You can't...

Who? Jaron Ennis.

How about Pitbull?

You know he's good. Jaron Ennis is good. It's a good performance. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's your fault.

When you win, I'll give you all the respect in the world.

Okay, get Ryan the respect.

I just told him. You did?

Absolutely. Thanks to you. That was so good because it was just the perfect male exchange where we went from, Fuck you, your piece of shit, grabbing the balls to, I'm sorry in 20 seconds.

And respect to Garcia's dad for just being a good dad. Yeah. It's like, Okay, you don't like my son while you're an enemy for life. Actually, you seem like a cool guy. Okay, now you like my son, now we're boys.

And respect to Eddie Hearn for not backing It was like, No, fuck you. You're a piece of shit. But yeah, it was an awesome fight. It was a very, very fun. Ryan Garcia is that perfect amount of crazy that makes boxing fun. And thank God he won because there was... Because Devin Haney in the first six... Ryan Garcia came out and was going crazy in the first round. Then for the next five rounds, Devin Haney did win those rounds. But then Garcia knocked him down three times.

Yeah, and one of them, he got points taken away, too.

He got points taken away because he did punch him after they were broken up.

Kind of, yeah.

Well, he did punch him. He didn't get warned. You could say he didn't get warned, which is fair, but he did punch him.

Haney was doing a lot of holding, too. Holding on for dear life. He did not get penalized for anything. But what concerns me is that García was so fucking crazy going up to this fight, and it worked. It worked out perfectly for him. What's he going to do in the next fight? I'm in. How's he going to get crazier?

I mean, he had that press conference on Thursday where he started it with saying, I love Jesus. I love and then ended it with Suck my dick, Devon Haynie.

Yeah. Did he say he broke into Bohemian Grove? Yeah. I forget all the stuff he was saying. He also said after the fight, Yeah, my prep for this fight was just drinking every day.

Yeah. No, he posted a meme that says, It's Devon Haynie, wakes up at 4:30 AM every morning to train, no drugs or alcohol, listens to his trainer, diet, sparring, trains five times a day, runs eight miles every day. Ryan Garcia, alcohol. Thank you, Jesus. Yeah. Obviously, he's a lot better that. He's a really good boxer.

No, he said in the press conference, Yeah, I drink every day. I know it's probably nothing to brag about, but I like to drink, and so that's what I did to train for this fight.

Yeah. Although then after, he drank a beer during the weigh-in, which people were like, Oh, of course. They do the weigh-in before they do the press conference weigh-in. But he was saying afterwards that it was just apple juice.

I like that.

Who knows what's real?

No one knows. No one knows what's real. I don't know what's the mark. Am I a mark? Yeah. I think I'm a mark.

It was a fun weekend, though. It was a fun Ryan Garcia. Very fun fight. Okay, I have two Who's Backs of the Week, both baseball-related. First one is terrible gifts because John Sterling retired from the Yankees, done what was like 45 years or something as the voice of the Yankees. The Yankees got him an 83-inch TV from Best Buy.

And then the ceremony- The picture was so funny. The ceremony of gifting him this TV was hilarious, too, because took it so seriously.

So seriously. They think he didn't have a TV?

He might not.

No, I think actually I read an article he has five TVs.

And they're all small?

I don't know if they're all small.

Yeah, listen, I would not turn away a TV. If somebody wanted to give me an 83-inch TV, I'd be okay with it.

They cost nothing now, though. They're like $400.

Those ones are tough to move, too. Yeah.

Do you think they got the warranty? They better have gotten the warranty.

Oh, he's not going to be able to set that thing up.

No one ever gets a warranty. I hope the Yankees at least sprung for the warranty.

It's going to If he's going to have motion smoothing on it. He's going to not be able to watch it. He's going to have four different remotes, and he's not going to remember which one goes to which TV. Oh, this is the new TV with the new remote that's not programmed correctly yet. That's going to be a nightmare for an old guy.

His sons are going to help him out. They're AWLs.

Okay.

Cool. All right. So they're getting him. So if they're listening right now- might have to get John Sterling on. Geek Squad, yeah. I'd like to have John Sterling on the show. Yeah. The 83-inch TV, though, the picture of that, 45 years. Here's a TV. Thank you for your service.

Appreciate it. Yeah.

People were like, Well, the Yankees only had a few days to figure out a gift. You couldn't think of anything other than a TV?

Also, his schedule dwindled down this year.

Do you think somebody in the Yankees front office had just purchased that TV? Yeah. And they're like, Oh, we have a ceremony. Fuck, what are we going to get them? Oh, I've got a TV in my car.

Yeah, that was definitely sitting in the AV room in the locker room where they're like, Well, we have an extra just in case someone takes a bat to a TV, let's give them this.

No one can fit it in their car.

Yeah, right. It's the worst gift you could give someone.

Spinzone, they're saving the money for Juan Soto's next contract.

83-inch TV? Yeah, they are like nothing now. This was a great gift 20 years ago. It's crazy. They'd be like, Holy shit, he got an 83-inch TV?

Inflation sucks. Everything is getting way more expensive except TVs. Tv's. Tv's are half as expensive as they used to be 10 years ago.

Do you remember the first nice TV that you got? It was like, We have to be so careful. Now it's TVs are nothing.

They're giving them away. All you have to do is quit your job and you get a TV. Let's see.

83-inch TV. Best Buy.

Remember when there wasn't HD? Hd was a big deal.

I remember the first year.

I did this last year. I went to Best Buy and I was getting a TV and I had a massive wall that I wasn't trying to put anything else on. I was like, I'm going to get a big TV. I was thinking 70-inch, and it was maybe like 80 bucks more for 83-inch. I was like, Oh, sure. Let me get the 83-inch. Like, fuck it.

I hope they got them the top of the line.

Then I couldn't put it in my car.

They did. I I think it was top of the line because when you get an 83-inch TV, if it's not super high quality, at that level, it starts to look like shit.

They did because I'm seeing right now, you can get an 85-inch TV for $900, but they did get them the OLED LG, which was $4,500. Curve screen? So pretty nice. I don't know if it's curved. I remember the first game I ever watched in the HGTV was with my dad, the Midge game. Oh, yeah? Unbelievable game to watch in HDR Teddy. That is When you have a good one.Jala's same room, yeah. Okay, my other Who's Back, I have another Who's Back, baseball-related, Who's Back the Week is the Philly fanatic because he held his birthday bash today, and he invited every mascot except Bloopy.Oh, no.

Yes.

Love it. That fat fuck would have... I mean, think about the budget for the food if you invite Bloopy.

Or you have to buy three plane tickets. Yeah.

And you can't have kids around. He could have denied an invitation because he scared of Philadelphia. That's true.

That's... I mean...

Now, if you invite every other... It's a cuck move for every other mascot to just... You've got games that day, too. Yeah, but Philly's- You go across the country to celebrate another mascot's birthday.

The fanatic is, well, mascots, I think, will do anything to get together. They do like getting together.

I know, but I like it so much better when it's rare. It's like at the All-Star Game.

But if there was one mascot that everyone would go to their birthday party, I think the Philly fanatic, not trying to glaze max here, he is the O. G.

He is one of the O-Gs, but still, I think you have to have a little bit more pride in yourself than these guys are having and just being like, Oh, yeah, I'm going to go tip my cap to another team's mascot.

Well, they probably did. They probably didn't just do a birthday party. They probably played a scrimmage against a Peewee football team and kicked their ass.

Just ran all over. Yeah.

Yeah. Breast Harper got him a gift. It was a cool glove.

Why did you get him? It was a cool glove? It was a massive glove. Probably better than John Sterling's gift.

Was it a mascot glove that he could put on over?

Yes, he put it on I'll pull it up.

That is pretty cool.

But no, I think Blueper got invited, but that bitch was too scared. I mean, he's terrified of Philly.

Oh, that is a great gift.

Wait.

Oh, no, he hasn't opened it yet.

Here it is.

A huge glove.

Oh, wait, what?

Oh, no. It was a shoe. Oh, wait.

This is 2019. Fuck me.

Oh, nice.

Oh, nice. Get some gifts every year for his birthday? Wow.

Price Harper loves the fanatic. He's got to be no, no.

I mean, no, no, no, no, thing. Here it is. He has an obsession with the fanatic.

Yeah, because he has the cleats, right? Yeah. That's cool.

Here it is.

The fanatic is hilarious, dude. He is what Blueby wants to be. Blueby is an imitation. That's a nice It's a good glove.

It's a good glove. Yeah, it's big. It's a big ass glove. You remember when Tommy Lesorty got into a fight with him?

Yeah, that's what I was saying. He is the standard. All right, Jake.

My Who's Back of the Week is the future of golf being in good hands. We had some crazy stories in the golf world this week. We can start off with the LPGA Tour. Nelly Korda, TaylorMade athlete. She won her fifth start in a row, and this was a major.

That's sick. What major?

The Chevy, I think.

That's a major?

Yeah, because it's Chevy. That's true. What a great brand that is. It is true.

Checking. Yeah, you know what? Let's start with the LPGA. If you win five weeks in a row, it's pretty good.

Yeah, the Chevron Championship.

Okay. We know It's a Chevy.

It's a Chevy Championship.

Chevron is not Chevy.

I know, but we're just going to call it.

I got my brands mixed up.

Okay. Also, you guys want to call Dibs on Miles Russell.

Okay.

15 years old. Dibbs. Youngest ever player to make the cut at the Corn Ferry Tour.

Okay, Dibbs.

I'm sick with Charlie.

I got two Dibbs. No, you can't double Dibs.

We have Brooks and Max.

No, but for the future. Yeah, you can do-For who's got next.

Yeah, We need to.

Yeah. And finally, it was rain delay right now, but Scottie is up by five with three holes left.

Yeah, Scottie is pretty. Which is insane. You know what? We can't have two next guys up because I think it'll be good for Charlie to have this type of competition where it'll be like Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus. Yeah, true. Winning all those majors between them. Yeah, it'll be good for the growth of the game.

Yeah. So the future is in good hands. Okay.

I like it. All right, let's do Tom McShay. And then after Tom McShay, we have Mr. Per's Picks, which we won't do Mr. Per on every episode, but we have to get him a win on an episode. Well, then he'll be more of a football turtle. We'll do some Instagram lives with him for other big NBA, NHL games. But we have to get this fucking stupid ass turtle a win.

I think we should fade the turtle.

I'm going to fade the turtle. If I fade the turtle, he's going to win.

I'm going to fade him. I'm going to fade whatever this pick is. That's a promise. Okay. Or I tossed this out here earlier, but if he continues to lose, we should punish him in some way.

Okay.

Or we can just We can blame Memes. Yeah.

Memes are already trying to give this turtle to my kids.

No punishing.

Okay, no punishing of the turtle, but we can blame Memes.

No, we can verbally punish him.

No, Pita, no punishing of the turtle.

You can't insult the animal. You can verbally berate an animal. I will get eye to eye with Mr. Per and tell him he's a fucking loser.

You know what, Mr. Per? I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed.

I got a problem in my house because my kids love Mr. Per. They met him today. They were so pumped.

Memes just keep saying it's turtle.

Yeah, he's trying to fawn off Mr. Per. That was the fastest thing. But is this... He's doing, too. He's got to win some games. This turtle is going to live for 50 years, and Memes already is trying to get rid of him four days in. He's got to win or lose them all. Yeah, it's true.

I hope he keeps losing.

Okay, let's get to Todd McShay. Pft, you got a quick add.

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Okay, it is draft Week. It is time. We welcome on our good, good friend, recurring guest, Todd McShay. Todd, first of all, how are you doing? Ready for draft? I'm doing great, man.

Ready for the draft. Yeah, I'm going to be sitting alone at home this year. A little bit different than normal, but I'm fired up. All right.

So there's nothing better than draft time. I know you've still been doing all the work, all the calls. Let's start at the top. Kael Williams is a bear, so we can just say that, right? It's 100 % slam dunk. Don't tell me that when I paint my fingernails on Thursday night, I'm going to look like a fool. And I know you will.

Now, that's a lock. I just find it interesting, right? We get to the end of the season, and you get all these anonymous scouts who are like, I wouldn't take him there. If I was making a decision for Chicago, I would be worried. I would be concerned about all these things, crying in the stands with his mom, and painting his his finger nails and do his teammates love him, and all that. And then you get to the combine, and it's like, all the media has time now to go out and have dinners and drinks and interact with all the people in the league. And then immediately, it's like two days into the combine, it was, Oh, yeah, Caleb's going to Chicago.

Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. Because he's been the first pick for two years now. So it's like- Yes. And he would have been the first pick last year. Right. So the fatigue is there where people are picking apart, and he's going to be a bear. So knowing that he's going to be a bear, let me ask you this, where does the draft start?

Well, before we pass on Caleb, because I know you care about this. You go back and look at some of the situations that the number one overall pick has been drafted into, and it's been ugly. Like, Bryce Young last year, I would argue, is the ugliest situation that any of these number one overall picks at quarterback have been drafted into. Two and 15 last year, traded Christian McCaffrey, staff fired, owner, all the issues with David Tepper that we know. No weapons, no protection. So everyone's like, Straub, you should have taken Straub, and maybe they should have, okay? But Maybe they should have had a better organization around him. Go back to Trevor Lawrence in 2021. Trevor hasn't become the guy that we thought he was going to be to this point. We're still waiting for him to make that third step, if you will. But as a rookie with Urban Meyer, that situation, disasters in terms of the organizational leadership, no protection, no weapons. He had 3-14 as a rookie. Doug Peterson comes in. They had a couple of weapons. They protect him a little better, and they make that huge jump that they made in his second year.

So these number one overall picks are typically drafted into really bad situations. I don't think it's the case in Chicago. I think you're going to see a big jump. What Ryan Pols has done from last year to this year, also having the number nine overall pick, the general manager has seen the vision. Let's put things around the quarterback position so that when we do draft Caleb next year, we're going to put him in a better situation. Now, all of a sudden, Caleb comes in and you've got DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, DeAndre Swift, and depth behind him at running back, Cole Komet at tight end. This is as good a situation as we've seen in a long time. Going back to beyond Kyler Murray in 2019, beyond Baker Mayfield in 2018 with Cleveland. You have to go back a while to say which quarterback was in this good of a situation that Caleb Williams is entering into as the number one overall pick in the draft.

I love it. I love it. And it's why all the talk about him like, Oh, he's going to say he doesn't want to go to Chicago. When is a 7-10 team ever going to draft number one overall again? That's the other part, is the team, they weren't great, but they were not the worst. They weren't a two-win team, and their defense is good. I couldn't be more excited. I agree, obviously, that this is a perfect situation for him. I'm all in. I'm going all in. I don't care. People are going to say all this stuff. I think he's the first Gen Z quarterback that will piss people off. But everything else, he's going to be awesome, and I'm pumped for it. So knowing that he's going one, PFT is up on the clock at two, what's the pick going to be?

It's got to be Jaden Daniels. And I know that everyone is linking Drake May, and there's all sorts of conversations there. Drake May has tremendous upside. You better be ready, though, with Drake May to sit him for a year. When you look at the history of drafting quarterbacks, numbers of starts, then you look at Drake May, specifically, the inconsistency with his decision-making at times, with his footwork, which leads to erratic accuracy. I think Drake May could wind up being the second best quarterback in this draft, maybe, if put in the right situation and has time to develop. Patrick Mahomes had a full year. To me, I think in the right situation, he'll be great. Jaden Daniels. I got done with the tape at the end of the season, and I was like, damn, I don't know. If I'm just evaluating this past year, 2023, I don't see a huge difference between Caleb and Jaden. I don't. You got to remember, with Caleb, there was that Notre Dame game, and there were losses at the end of the year, and he's trying to do too much. He'll work that out of his system when he gets to the NFL and has more structure and a better defense and all those things.

But from just based off the tape, and then you had the mobility with Jaden, the fact that the improvement that he made over the last two years playing in a pro-style system, understanding and trusting his reads. I think he's got a chance to be special. When I'm done with the tape, I always try to rack my board, figure out who I like, and then I start making calls. I promise you, of the dozens of calls that I've made from January to now with guys in the league, general managers, personnel directors, scouts all over the league, there isn't one person I've spoken to that believes that May should be drafted number two over Jaden Daniels. I even talked to teams, going back to February, where teams were like, Yeah, we're still debating between Caleb and Jaden at number one. That first tier has been for teams has always been Caleb and Jaden. And then the second tier is Drake. And then the third tier is JJ McCarthy. And then you get to the fourth tier, where you can start talking about Michael Pennix and Bo Nix and those guys.

Yeah. I also think Cliff Kingsbury as the OC in DC, I feel like Jake and Daniels would be the guy that he would want easily over Drake May, right? With the system that he runs?

Yeah, I can see that. I think when you look at the system that Drake came from versus the system that Jaden came from, the two years that Jaden had at LSU, the mobility that he provides as an extra element, Cliff and what he was able to do with Tyler and what he's always wanted to do in his system, He didn't always in college have mobile quarterbacks, but that was it. I remember sitting in Cliff's office talking to him. The next evolution for him was finding more mobility at the quarterback position because everyone was like, Well, it's all air-rated. It's Mike Leach and all that stuff. Really, that all transformed from the Mike Leach system to what we've seen go on at Oklahoma and then USA recently. Lincoln-reilly adjusted it, where you had the guard tackle, backside pulling, and more physical, and then adding that element of the quarterback run. We saw a little bit with Baker, more so with Tyler. And that's what Cliff saw going to Arizona. He was like, Wait, I can run what we run. We could be more physical in the run game, but we got a quarterback that's going to give us numbers and get us out of trouble.

That, to me, is the pinnacle of where they want that system to be. And that's what Jaden provides. And Drake is mobile, but he's not Jaden.

Jaden is special. And you're right. I feel like if you're running the air raid system, it's great to have all those shots downfield, but it's also great to have a quarterback that if those are covered, you get an easy 10 yards. And Jaden Daniels was electric in college. We watched all these games. We sat down, we watched the tape, Todd. I know you did. We grind, right?

You guys have a ball. I remember. I don't think that Josh Allen here, you guys were studying the tape. You hit on it.

He watched the tape measure on his hands.

You guys felt like a highlight real organization. Now I see you guys with the coaches clinic.

Now we're different.

Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good with Josh Allen year.

So on the tape that I've studied with Jaden Daniels, I noticed his elbow is fucked up. Is that a problem at all? Is any team out there looking at his elbow and they're like, That elbow is too weird to be a quarterback?

It is weird, man.

Yeah. Have you ever seen a elbow like that?

It's a little different. My favorite, I don't know if you've been on Twitter, but do yourself a favor if you want 30 seconds of a laugh. Look up Jaden Daniels and Looney tunes.

Okay.

I forget who did it. I wish I had it on me. But someone put together a reel of all the plays where...

Because he gets for whatever-Oh, yeah. When he gets hit, he gets hit.

When he gets hit, he gets hit.

It's flailing arms, legs, limbs everywhere. It's awesome. It's not awesome if you're a general manager. You're like, We're going to have to learn to slide a little bit better or make better decisions. But it's worth a 30-second lap.

That's what some people in DC are a little bit gun-shy about. And I get it because we still remember the RG three years where he did not learn how to slide. And when he got hit, he would get hit. He was very, very bad at protecting himself. Actually, the wounds go a little bit deeper in DC. You can go all the way back to Jason Campbell, and he never learned how to slide either. And he was a first-round pick. So a lot of people in DC are a little bit afraid of getting a quarterback that doesn't know how to protect themselves.

Here's the difference between Jaden and RG3. Rg3 was a track sprinter. Everything was straight line. He was a 4-3 guy. His burst, when he caught a crease, he could go. But if you really studied him, he didn't have much of a wiggle. He wasn't the Twitch guy, the Snap guy. So to me, when you watch Jaden, He's both. He's fast and quick.

And that will allow him to protect himself.

There are a lot of guys in this draft that are declining workouts for whatever reason. They've got their own plan that they want to put forward. They're confident in their tape showing it to general managers. They want to let that speak for itself. My question is, how in-depth are GMs getting and front office is getting when they break down film of a guy where they don't have a 40 time on paper for him? Are they comparing him on the field to players where they know that guy's 40 speed and they can extrapolate what the true numbers for this prospect are? Or how important is it if a guy chooses not to do those specific drills?

To be honest with you, if you're going to be a top 10 pick and scouts and GMs around the league will hate me for saying this. If you know, if it's certain you're going to be top 5, 7, even top 10 pick, and you're not competing with one other guy to go… Marvin Harrison Jr, I think Malik Nabors has a chance to be more dynamic and explosive. But Marvin Harrison Jr. Is the most NFL-ready player at any position in this class. Marvin Harrison knows if he doesn't go number 4, he's going to go number 5. Overall, he's going to very likely be the first non-quarterback drafted in this class, right? So what would you rather? Let me ask you this. What would you rather? This guy who you're going to make a $30 plus million dollar investment on for the next five years and has to show up and be ready, not only for two years down the road in that five year investment, but right away, we need this guy to be ready. Would you rather him training in a facility in Arizona or Florida, working on his box jumps and his get off speeds, take off speeds in the in the 40-yard dash?

Or would you rather him, like Marvin Harrison Jr. Has been, working with NFL veterans to continue to polish his route running and work on certain aspects of his game, his flexibility, all those? So that he's ready for week one More so than all these rookies. Talk to rookies halfway through their rookie year, and they're like, I'm exhausted. I wasn't in the football shape that I'm always used to being in. It wasn't a year-round training for football. It was training for the Olympics, right? And so So to me, it only makes sense. And the other thing that people get mixed up on this, 40 Yard Dash is great for television, and absolutely, there's credence and value to it, especially in positions like wide receiver and cornerback. But today, it's so different today with the catapult system, the miles per hour that we have. They're wearing the thing on their body, the GPS tracker. I know if a guy is running at max speed, 21 miles or 24 miles per hour. And that translates to me. I'm not saying we're ever going to get rid of the 40. I don't think that that's where we're headed at all because it's another opportunity to see apples to apples comparison.

But I now not only know what top speed is, but how fast they get to top speed. I know how fast they practice. I know how many steps they... I know everything about the movement of every player that I'm getting ready to draft because you're not just doing it in the NFL College programs. You're doing it from the day they step on campus.

Yeah, Yeah, it makes sense. It does feel like we have more data than we've ever had. All right, so, Drake Bay is going to go to the Patriots, even though Hank, our draft expert here on PMT, says that he wants Marvin Harrison, and he doesn't care who's throwing to him, that it will work out. So after that, I think the intrigue in the top 10, and correct me if I'm wrong, is where is JJ McCarthy going to go? Give me your JJ McCarthy take and then tell me where he's going to go, because he is confusing in the fact that we saw him play. He was phenomenal when he was asked to throw. He was not asked to throw a lot. It's a typical guy who, if you ask four months ago, he's a second rounder. Now, he's being talked about as the fourth pick overall. Tell us the JJ McCarthy story and where you think he's going to end up.

Jj McCarthy has all the traits. Jj McCarthy is a winner. Jj McCarthy, a year ago, we were worried, is he big and physical and strong enough? He's put on 15 pounds in the last year. He's got the frame. He'll continue to get bigger and stronger, and he's been durable. Jj McCarthy can process quickly enough and will continue to get better. If you watch him throw it… Here's the big thing. Here's how I would break it down and try to simplify. Everything you need to see from him, you can see, especially now with the cut-ups and the third down and seven plus and all. You can find everything. But whereas for Caleb Williams, who's got more starts and was the ball more, and for Jaden Daniels, a lot more starts and was in an offense that asked him to carry the team more. You're going to see 40 clips of one thing over the course of his career. Jj, you might only see 10. So it's a volume thing. How much volume in that catalog are you able to see? So is there a risk in that? Absolutely. And the other thing, when I talk to teams in the league, I always ask, How's this guy going to succeed?

How's this guy going to fail? What would be your concern in drafting him? I always get the same thing. It's the lack of volume. I wish I could see more of these red zone, first down plan, like certain things that Michigan just was so committed to the run in their system. So it starts with the volume. And then the second thing that I always get is there wasn't a quarterback, no other quarterback in this class had the supporting cast that JJ had. And then the pushback is, well, wait a second. Jj has got two first-round wide receiver that he's throwing to me. Yeah, but look at the protection. You have the Joe Moore offensive line, the best offensive line in college football two years ago. They didn't win it this past year, but should have won it. We saw that against Washington, which wound up winning. How much more efficient and physical that offensive line was. So protection was there. System protected him. Defense was phenomenal the last two years for Michigan. So he was never put in a Caleb Williams situation where we go out and score 40, we might lose. Those are the two things that you debate there.

If you're looking at the big picture now, Caleb's going one. Jaden should absolutely go two. Drake May is most likely going to go three to New England. I think there's a big time outside the box scenario where New England tries to move down, move back up, gets crazy with it. But Robert Kraft is going to make sure that they get a quarterback that's exciting for New England moving forward in the future. So let's assume those three come off the board. Arizona is sitting at Monte Assa, the GM, has shown that he likes to move around. He did a lot of that last year, but they've got a bunch of picks. And so I don't know that moving back necessarily helps them. And when you get to know Monte and what he looks for in the physicality and looking the part and all those sorts of things, I just think that the Marvin Harrison Jr. Makes too much sense. They need a weapon. They've got their quarterback that they're going to ride with for a little while because of the contract situation and what we know he can do in a selfie. I think they stick it four unless they get a phenomenal offer.

I think Arizona is 6 to 4 and takes Marvin Harrison Jr. Five, though, is where the move is going to be made, in my opinion. The Chargers, one out. Jim Harbaugh wants offensive line. Joe Ortiz, the new general manager, came from the same tree as Joe Douglas did with the Jets. They were all in Baltimore with Ozie Newsom. Ozie's big thing is always, let's sit tight, trust our board. If we have to draft there, we don't get a good deal. We know that the player we're going to get there is a good player. But let's wait for a team to panic, and let's exploit them. Think about all the moves that Oasis did, moving back, exploiting teams that were in a panic in that 10, 15 minute clock. And that's What the Chargers are going to do. And Minnesota is the most likely team, as we know, sitting at 11. And obviously, the 23rd pick, the trade they already made with Houston. So they have the picks to package to move up. They'll have to probably give away at number two, worst case, number one next year. But I think Minnesota is the team that moves up and goes and gets JJ McCarthy.

And JJ has been tied to them for a long time. And by the way, I got news for you. With their play calling, with Justin Jefferson, with the protection they have, I would say, even though I think Caleb's better, and I think Jaden's better, I think Drake may have a higher upside, JJ McCarthy could have the best rookie year of all the quarterbacks if he lands in Minnesota. That's the most desirable spot for these rookie quarters. Oh, wow.

Interesting. So who's the first defensive player to get drafted?

I'm glad you asked that. You're welcome.

Because everyone- Good job asking that. Thank you.

I appreciate you. Thank you. Dallas Turner, the edge rusher from Alabama, is where... I've had more time this year to read all these mock draughts. It's comical, to be honest.

I love that. I love that McShay is like, Wow, this is what I've been doing?

Yeah.

And then also- It's fan fiction. It's fan fiction Guys, it's the best. I love it.

I love it. And I got news for you. Everyone, like NFL teams, this macho thing with mock drafts. Well, there hasn't been a general manager I've talked to that doesn't have some system where they take the three or four mock drafts that they trust the most, put it into some database and plug it out and utilize that to try to figure out what other teams are doing. So it is a tool used in the NFL. But what I'll say with the mock drafts is everyone has got Dallas Turner, the edge rusher from Alabama, going 8 to Atlanta. If you line up all the mock drafts, 8 to Atlanta. Maybe he is the first defensive player, and maybe that's where Atlanta goes. They certainly could use an edge. But the more people I've talked to in the league, the more I get the sense that Byron Murphy, defensive tackle from Texas, could be, and I don't want to say he's most likely, but if there's going to be a surprise in the top 10, it's Byron Murphy.

Teams are looking for interior pass rushers.

There's so few impact. Just thinking in the top of your head, how many elite impact interior defensive line and pass rushers are there?

Yeah, Aaron Donald was one.

Yeah, he retired.

You can get to five, six, seven, right? In that range where you're like, Yeah, that dude. We got to account for him. And so Byron, with his quickness and power and just the way he penetrates and disrupts, I think that he's going to be a major impact player. He's ready to play right away, and teams are looking for that. I don't know if it's Tennessee surprise at seven, Atlanta at eight, Chicago at nine, even though everyone's locking a wide receiver. What if MHJ, Malik Nabors, and Romo Junzey are off the board? We know Arizona. The Chargers could take a wide receiver, but I think they trade out. The Giants could take a receiver at six. The Titans could take a receiver at 7. So all three of those receivers could be off the board, and Byron Murphy could be the pick at number nine for the Chicago Bear.

Okay, what's crazy is we're talking about all these great Great players, and there are a lot of good ones. But to me, the guy that is going to maybe have the best career out of all of them, we haven't even said his name yet, Brock Bowers. And it feels like Brock Bowers is... People are pincling them into the Jets right now. Is that going to be a pick where he falls to number 10, and everybody's like, Shit, Brock Bowers. They got him. We should have taken him earlier.

Yeah, it absolutely could be. It could be. Here's the tough part with Brock Bowers. The tape is phenomenal. He's one of the five or six best football players in this draft. Everyone would agree, right? But he looks like a tall banker who played in a fraternity, like basketball, like club league. He just doesn't look the part, didn't run the 40 because he had the injury, and did the recent Georgia make up Pro day and did all the position drills. So you don't have the 40 on him. He doesn't look the part. He's coming off the injury. And most importantly, all those things aside, because I think tape wins out on him, The tight-end position, this is an investment. And you're investing in quarterbacks, pass rushers, wide receivers now, which wasn't always the case, but wide receiver because the game has changed so much by makers. And then guys who can cover those playmakers a cornerback? Yeah. And so are you willing to take a tight end who's not going to ever be a great blocker, doesn't necessarily look the part, all the physical traits as he up there with everybody else? I think that's the question.

But then I look at the Jets at 10, right? I think for Joe Douglas, again, we talked about Joe Ortiz, the new GM of the Chargers with Jim Harbaugh, and how I would bet money that they move out of that number five spot. The Jets don't have a second-round pick, and that's not a comfortable neighborhood for Joe Douglas to be living in right now. He also needs offensive tackle. They brought in a couple 33-year-olds or whatever their ages are as bandaids. But what if one of those guys gets injured? And the history says that one, if I thought both of those guys are going to get injured. So they want to draft an offensive tackle there, but you're sitting at 10. You don't have a second-round pick because we traded away as part of the Aaron Rodgers deal, and we don't pick again until the third round. So I could see the Jets moving out of 10. Now, that doesn't mean that Brock Bowers won't still be there if they make a deal to move back. What if JJ starts to fall? And you've got the Raiders at 13. I don't know that they would want to move up, but certainly the Broncos at 12, even though they don't have a second-round pick as well.

What if they can move back two or three spots? I still think Bowers, if he doesn't go 10, the next place I would look at would maybe 15 to the Colts, 17, 14 to the Saints, 15 to the Colts, that range. So maybe the Jets move back and still are able to get Bowers, or maybe the Jets move back and get an offensive tackle. Because if it's not Joe Wall, not in Notre Dame, there's six or seven offensive linemen guys that are tackles that could move inside that are going to go in this first round. One of the best offensive tackle classes I can remember in the last decade.

I love to hear that. The mistake Brock Bowers made was taking that picture next to Gronk. If he didn't take that picture next to Gronk, I think everything- Everything would be fine. Everything would be fine. That one picture.

Wait, that guy was what he was in the lead. That's what it's supposed to look like. Who's that guy?

And he was wearing the black shoes, too, that made him look like he was a banker.

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All right, so you said something there, the wide receiver class. It used to not be something that teams would draft as high as they're drafting. Now, it's just every year, got to get one of these guys. From all I've read, One of the best wide receiver draughts. You have Marvin Harrison, Aduanze, and Nabors. Who, though, after that, is someone that you're very high on that might be in the late first round, early second round, that teams can be like, Look, if we don't get one of these three guys, we can wait and we can get a really good wide receiver going forward.

I think it's going to be another year. We've seen this historically. I think it's going to be another year where there are two or three guys in the second round that go that wind up being more productive than one or two in the first round. I really do. I believe strongly in Marvin Harrison Jr. Doesn't have the twitch and that after-the-catch ability that Malik Nabors has, but Malik doesn't have the size of Marvin Harrison Jr. But they're both going to be absolute stars in the NFL. Romo Junzey is going to be a damn good player. Devante Adams is probably the best. It is the best case, but he's that player, okay? After that, you've got AD Mitchell from Texas. I think Brian Thomas is Probably wind up being the other LSU receiver, probably being the fourth receiver off the board. Xavier Mitchell. Xavier Worvie, sorry, the other Texas wide receiver. Those are the guys that I think will wind up going in the first round. But I'm telling you right now, Lad McConkey from Georgia is so dynamic in terms of his route running ability, ability to separate, and after the catchability and the consistency with his hands.

Ricky Pearsall from Florida is the best route runner in this class, and everyone's like, Yeah, well, he's not overly fast. He's not dynamic and explosive. We ran a 4-4-1 in this 40-yard dash, right? And he had a 42-inch vertical. You can't tell me he's not explosive. And so Lad McConkey, Ricky Pearsall, Xavier Laguette. Xavier Laguette from South Carolina is a player that I look at. I can get him in the second round. So to me, here's how it's going to play out. All these receivers, the top three receiver is going to come off the board quickly. But there's a bunch of teams that have tackle and wide receiver as their top needs, if you will. If I look at it as a combination of the two, like combo picks, I call them, right? Arizona picks it four I think they're going to take Marvin Harrison Jr. But wouldn't you maybe rather have Joe Alt, the best left tackle in this class, and then get a Xavier or Laguette in the second round? Chargers, five and 37. Again, they could move out of that spot. But what if they take Joe Alt instead number five? And then at 37, you get a Lad McConkey.

The Giants at six and 47. They traded out. They gave their pick away to Carolina for 39, but they have the 47th pick, so in another trade. That's another team, tackle wide receiver. The Titans, seven and 38. So there are four teams there. It's going to be interesting to see, are we just going to get the best wide receiver and try to get tackle in the second round? Or do we realize there's a hell of a lot more depth? Because everyone's talking about how great this tackle class is, and it is. I mean, you've got Joel, Thalesa Fuaga from Oregon State, Oli Fusano from Penn State. You got J. C. Latham from Alabama, Amarius Mims from Georgia, Troy Fa'O'Tanu from Washington, Tyler Gaiton from Oklahoma. All those guys, though, were going in the first round. And then there's a significant drop off in the second round. So while we're all talking about wide receiver, it won't shock me if the tackles go faster than expected, and then there's a big run on receiver's late first or in the second.

Yeah. Got it. Xavier worthy to Las Vegas. That just seems like a great fit. If we're going based on history of teams, drafting based on specific traits, you can pin some- If Al Davis was still alive. I would just love to see that. I would love to see the Ouija board that they have set up in the draft room, tell them Xavier worthy no matter what. Yeah. Las Vegas. So what about Cooper Degen? We've taken an interest in Cooper Degen. Player comp in the NFL. I've got Jason Seahorn, and then those snaps where Julian Edelman played defense. So he's going to be a first rounder, right?

You guys are selling.

He's going in the first round.

He's going in the first round. He just had his make-up pro day, if you will, in Iowa, in the low 4-4, depending on the scope you talk to. He's a great player. He's a versatile player. He can play slot, he can play outside corner, he can play free He might be an all pro punt returner, too. He's a difference maker. I think you guys can do better with your comps. Okay. I think you can dig a little deeper.

Chris Conti?

I'm like almost a more mobile Reid Doughty.

Hey, what did teams think about the letter he sent? Kind of a try-hard move.

Yeah.

Did he actually write a letter, or was it an email?

That I don't know. I believe it was a letter and an email is what is my understanding.

Okay. All right. So I got another weird question. This draft is going to be significant in the fact that we could finally see Sean McVay take a first-round pick. Will that happen? It's crazy to say, but Sean McVay has never had a first-round pick in the draft. They've traded a million times. The last first-round pick the Rams had was Jared Goff. That was Jeff Fisher. Will they actually take a first-round pick this year? Will they actually select in the first round? And does Sean McVeigh even know what to do with that?

It's really more or less need. I mean, it's them together. Less need, the general manager is a good bud of mine. And I love the... What was it? F the draft? Yeah.

Fuck them pics. Fuck them pics.

Yeah, fuck them pics. I can see them packaging pics and going to move up. Oh. Get rid of some more pics, right? We don't care. But what about quarterback for the Raps?

Oh, interesting.

Are Bo Nicks and Michael Pennicks? It feels like one of the two of them is going to drop. Michael Pennicks, I think, Michael Pennicks is going to go in the first round, and I don't agree with it.

I have a second-round grade on him. I think he has starting caliber. He's the best pure passer in this class. That's what we said about C. J. Stroud last year. But C. J. Stroud didn't have the durability issues. C. J. Stroud, even though he didn't like to run, was more mobile. Like I said, with every general manager I talk to, it's how is this guy going to succeed? And we know he's going to succeed, Penix is, if he has great protection and good weapons and can throw down the field. That's where he excels. How's he going to fail, though. As a scout, you better be prepared to walk into the GM's office and say, Give me the reasons why he would fail and what we would have to do to prevent him from failing. What we got to see in a two-game span, in the CFP semifinal in the national championship, how he's going to succeed against Texas. Protection, deep ball. When everything's right, he's going to be able to pick you apart. And then we saw how he's going to fail. Mix up coverages, confuse him, make him stay in the pocket a quarter count longer than he's comfortable.

And it's not that he can't read. He can read as fast as any one of these guys, but it's the lack of mobility in the pocket and then the durability. And he's tough as nails. He fought through that game, but he took too He gets 20 hits, and I think that's going to happen in the league. I worry about him holding up, but he's had the multiple knee injuries in the past. But at the end of the day, it's interesting. When I talk to people in the league at the end of the season, let's go back to the beginning of the season. Coming into the year, day three got it. End of the season, third, fourth, that range. Then it was as the coaches got involved, it became absolutely second round. Now as we get close and everyone's looking at it, you're starting I'm going to hear somewhere in the first. I've even heard rumors maybe the Raiders at 13. That's too rich for me. But I think Michael Pennix goes in the first round. Bo Nix is fascinating to me. I was talking to Kiper about this the other day. Bo Nix, everyone puts him at 12 to the…

Again, I'm reading too many mock drafts this year because I'm bored at times. Bo Nix is going 12. And the Sean McVay… I'm sorry. Sean Payton, comparing him to Drew Brees and The running in college, the hand span. I've heard some of the most ridiculous things. But Bo Nicks, if he doesn't go 12 to Denver, it's a second-round pick, according to everybody. Well, I talk to people in the league, across the board, and it's the same thing as I see. He's a backup. He's a great guy. Unbelievable interview. Son of a former player at Auburn, the coach, all that. He's been around the game. He's tough. He's everything you look for from a character and leadership standpoint. But talent-wise, I don't see a first rounder. So to me, Bo Nicks belongs in the second round. I think there are five quarterbacks that are going to go. Caleb Williams, Jaden Daniels, Jake May, JJ McCarthy, and Michael Penix. And I think round two is where you'll see Bo Nix.

That makes sense. All right, so who's your favorite first round pick that no one's talking about? Because we've obviously heard all about the quarterbacks, we've heard all about the wide receivers, we've heard about the top-end offensive tackles. Who's the guy that you keep looking at? You're like, whoever gets this guy is going to be just so, so happy?

I mentioned him before, but I'll go back to Lad McConkey.

Okay. But he might not go in the first round. So who else?

I'm going to say he's going in the first round.

Okay.

Braden Fisk from Florida State, defensive tackle, short arms, no one likes him, might go early second, so it doesn't fit what you're saying. But I think he's going to outplay a lot of guys that go ahead of him. I think he's a star. I would say Guys that are definitely going to go in the first round that are overlooked. I gave you Cooper DeGene. I'm just looking down my list. Quinian Mitchell has got a lot of love. I mean, there's a lot. How about Nate Wiggins, cornerback Clemson?

Okay.

Berner. Everyone sees the 4-2-8. I think he ran a 4-2-8 at the combine, but he pulled a muscle when he did it. That's what you worry about, these quick twitch guys. But the thing is that he's He's not just a speed guy. He could play off coverage, press coverage. He could play zone and man. I think that Nate Wiggens is going to wind up being a really good cornerback. And this is a good classic. Terry and Arnold from Alabama. Kool-aid McKinster is going to be late first, early second round. Also the Alabama cornerback. Quinian Mitchell is at a phenomenal past couple of years. Great at the senior bowl, exceptional combine workout. He just nailed the whole process. Those guys are all going to come off the board in the first round with Cooper Dajine as well. But Nate Wiggens could wind up being what? The third, fourth cornerback taken. I think he could wind up being maybe, I don't want to say the best, but maybe the second best cornerback in this class. I think he's ready to start right away, even though he's only 173.

I like the answer because we just need one guy that when he gets picked, we can be like, Oh, that's actually an incredible pick. Great value. Yeah, we know Ball. I have a random name for you. I don't know if PFT knows this, but we have another Danny Woodhead who's going to get drafted. Dylan Lobb out of New Hampshire. You guys are really on this.

I've done my research.

Dylan Lob out of New Hampshire caught 68 balls in 10 games as a running back. Where's he going to get drafted? And is he the new Danny Woodhead?

He could be. And the only reason I say that, it's not because the color of his skin. You guys are really focusing on that.

No, that's about the catching pass. I didn't even know.

Is he a white guy?

I mean, look it up.

Okay, hang on. Wait, stand by. When I watched the tape- He does happen to be white.

He does happen to be white. I had no idea until he said that.

Dylan? Dylan. Yeah, Dylan's white. Out of New Hampshire.

All right, so we're off of that angle. No, it's because of the pass catching. He's like a receiver out of the running back spot. He had a great week in the Senior Bowl. Productive, tough. If you go back and study his take to some of his best production was in the biggest games against the best competition. I think he's going to be a... It's an interesting running back class. He's not going to be a first rounder. I think we could go late into the second round before a running back is taken. Jonathan Brooks should be the first running back off the board coming out of Texas. I think there's going to be a bunch of guys in the third, fourth, fifth-round range. I would say worst case, Love, is going to be sixth, but I honestly think he could go in the fifth.

Okay. And then sticking on running backs, where's my guy, Braille and Allen? I hope he does well as a pro. He needs to, obviously, he's not a great pass catcher, but I weirdly want him to go to the chargers because I feel like Jim Harbaugh would just be like, All right, we got this beast. We can just run the ball right down your throat.

Some teams will like him more than others. Yeah, Harbaugh. I think teams that are gap power scheme, want to run the ball north-south, give him 15 carries per game as a backup. It's rotating in and out. He makes sense. I I love him as much as some other guys do. I just think it's a league where you got to be able to catch. You got to have something dynamic to create on your own. I know he generates yards after initial contact with his power. I think, to me, he's a fourth-round draft pick. Best case, he goes in the third.

Okay. All right. I love this time of year because we get the anonymous scouts that are leaking things all over the map. We get stories of... I think it was Justin Blackman, where one team had a scout that spent a week in a bar just to see how many times Justin Blackman showed up to that bar. What's the weirdest story that you've heard of in terms of evaluating a player before the draft happens, where a team is thinking something really strange outside the box to figure out whether or not this is going to be the guy they want?

Oh, jeez. Yeah. I mean, I've talked to scouts that have had to spend a week in a small town. Here's the thing that always surprises me. Nfl teams have their security groups, right? And typically, they're former FBI guys. And the length in which they go and they send... It won't be the director of security, but they'll send out one of their guys and literally follow them. Like he's a suspect in a case. That, to me, it's pretty amazing that they will go to that. If they're considering first round, but we have concerns, let's follow them around and see what he's doing. Because there is this free time. We saw that with Sweat and defensive tackle from Texas. It's this free time where the pro days are done, some of the individual workouts, your schedule is done. And now this free time, you're not training for the combine anymore. We've seen year after year, players tend to get in trouble during this period, like two weeks, three weeks leading up to the draft, because they finally can go settle down and they're done with the pre-draft process. I think former FBI guys sending members of their staff to go literally follow like they're a criminal.

Like good fellows, like a helicopter following them around.

Yeah. I've only heard in cars, but maybe the helicopter has been.

That's crazy. So on that same note, if the Laramie Laramie Tunzel draft happened today, would any team drop him at all one or two spots off their board because he was smoking weed on camera?

The thing with Laramie Tunzel, it was when the information came out, right? And that was, obviously, we know the whole story now being a former handler, a guy who thought he was going to make some money off of him, got pissed off and leaked it purposely that day so that teams didn't have time to call their security group and to to go and get the answer. Basically, everyone in the top 10 was on the clock trying to figure it out. So they didn't have the time. If it happened today, first of all, I think we've come a long way with smoking pot, right? I think it's viewed very differently now, so I don't think it would be nearly... I don't think you would drop at all, just to give you a quick answer. It wasn't necessarily the quote, unquote, crime as much as it was the timing of the incident.

Yeah. All right. I got a couple of last questions. So in a war room on draft night, how does a good draft room work where the GM, he's got his big board. Is it so that a guy could stand up and be like, Look, I'm going to put my reputation on this guy? Do each of the scouts have a certain amount of guys where they will stand up and be like, I want this guy. I'm telling you it's a good pick.

So that's done before. None of this stuff is done. What's going on in the war room is the calls from other teams, figuring out who's coming off the board, moving the players with their magnets off the board and all that stuff. So at that point, everything's set. But the meetings before, Some of the stories I get, I can't share a whole lot, but some of the stories you get, you hear the pounding of the table. It's really just yelling and screaming across. Teams got to the point a couple of decades ago where It got so heated that teams were like, All right, listen, whether it's a red dot player or a star player, depending on the team, you get a sticker. And each scout gets to go up, and whether it's one, two, three guys, depending on the organization, and put a sticker on that one or two guys from his area or the positions that he did. Because the scouts, you got to remember, all these scouts get to know these players, almost like you're recruiting them in the house, know their parents, know who their agents are, know all the background. They've done so much work on them.

Personally, they get to really know the individual. And there are certain guys when you're done, and I've evaluated now, in my region, 500 players, and whittled it down to 100 guys that were presenting. Then the team only has 175 guys or 150 on our overall board. But once you set the board and there's less than a couple of hundred players on that board, who are the guys that you're going to red stamp or put a star on? That When you're on the board and all of a sudden, let's say you're in the pick 20 and 19 guys have come off the board, it's typically not a first rounder. It's much more like second, third, fourth round. But now we've got a cluster of five, six, seven guys with the same grade. And if position value, if they don't have such a need, and it's really about taking the best player, they'll look at that and say, You know what? Sammy, our Southeast Scout, swears by this guy. We'll put his reputation on the line. That's where that stuff happens, is like two weeks leading up to the draft.

Got it.

Interesting. What's the spread like in a draft room? Do they eat dinner before they get started? Do they order pizza? Good question.

Thanks. Listen, I've been working at ESPN. I know our spread, if I'm just going to be honest, was lacking. But we would order lunches and dinners, like sandwiches and stuff like that, and you just never want to eat anyway until it's done. If you're Kiper, you don't eat or take a sip of water for 72 hours. But in the draft, there's food outside of the war room, and then there's snacks. It's big. Snacks, everyone talks about what the snacks are, who has the best snacks. You lobby for what snacks you want. Obviously, there's a hierarchy.

You have a big board. Yeah, you have a draft.

You're in there.

It's three days. What else? You got your diet sodas, you got your coffee, and you got your snacks. It's just you and your snacks.

Yeah, I'd be standing on the table for Dots Pretzels. I'd be like, Bring in the Dots of Pretzels. Yeah.

Sweetish fish. Yeah. Give you a little change of pace.

It's all about relationships, right? You got to know who's pulling the trigger, who's making that decision. Am I talking to GM about this, or do we have a director of Ops? You've got to make sure you know to have a good relationship with the guy who's making that decision, because now you're looking at 72 hours of your life. And if you get shitty snacks, the snacks that you don't like, you're You're in a spot.

I have character concerns about Papa John's pizza, but I could work around those if the ceiling's high enough.

Exactly.

The breadsticks are better with the dipping.

Yes. All right, I got one last question. It's a rowback question. Robackquestion, rhoback. Com, promo code take. 20% off your first purchase, Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback. Com promo code take. We love having Todd on every year. He's the best. Mel Kiper is, every year, you find something new that just shocks you. So you can tell me if this is wrong or a little off. Mel Kiper doesn't own a cell phone, and he has five house phones?

Yes. So let's pull this up. You ready?

What?

Let's pull this up. What?

Kiper. All right. So I don't know if you can see.

You probably can't.

I don't know. I've got one, two, three, four different numbers for Mel. And if I want to text, I was just texting the other... If I want to it through to Mel. Look at all these texts.

What are they? They're just- It's to Kim. It's to Kim. Okay. All right. It's to his wife.

I asked him. I said, Any chance I could talk to Mel? I'm doing something with Mel next week. Let's just put it that way. I don't want to go into too much detail. And Kim writes back, Hey, Todd, how are you? Yeah, I'll ask him. I'm sure he'll get back to you today. I'm like, All right, great. I'm going to work through, and I always bust him on that. And the problem is you call the house and Kim will pick up and be like, Hey. I'll talk to Kim for 10 minutes before you get to Mel. And then Mel will pick up from a different landlord. It's not like a cell phone at home. It's like back in the '80s, where it's like you hear another phone, Hey, Todd, how are you? What's going on? It's definitely a throwback to my childhood. I don't even know what it was.

Yeah, no. Yeah, we had that. Housephones, for sure.

You guys had landlines and all that? Yeah, landlines, big time.

I just picture Kuiper pacing with the cord getting stuck around him. Yeah.

It's crazy to have no cell phone but five landlines.

Yeah, that's wild. I wonder if he even has wireless phones or if they're just cordless. I mean, cordless or has the cord that, like you said, gets wrapped around. Because I've been talking to Mel a lot recently.

It sounds like he's picking it. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

It's not like that clicking the beep. It sounds like he is- Picking it up. Yeah, I think I'll get to the bottom of it. I'll shoot you a text. I'm pretty sure his hand is going down, he's picking it up, and there's a cord coming.

I love that. That's incredible. Well, Todd, thank you as always, man. We really appreciate it. You're the best, and We're excited for draft.

Yeah, let's go. I appreciate you guys. All right. Thanks, Todd.

Todd McShay was brought to you by Part of My Cheesesteak.

Part of My Cheesesteak is awesome. It's delicious. I like to secret shop it about once a month now. I'll order Part of My Cheesesteak just to make sure it still tastes great. News flash, it still does. We've got a big week ahead, NFL Draft Week. We're headed to Detroit, and we're bringing the Part of My Cheesesteak food truck with us. Alongside our friends at Pepsi, we're going to be serving up new exclusive Inclusive, Pepsi-infused part of my cheesecake sandwiches, the Hot Seat and the PM beef. Those are the two names of the sandwiches that we're serving up. The Hot Seat and the PM beef. We'll be working the truck. We're going to give out March. We're going to enjoy the Eve of the NFL draft with you, the fans. If you're in town because your team has a great pick, if you're excited about who you're going to take, you're in Detroit, stop by. We want to see you on Wednesday from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM. Come to Reserved Lot, 2217 Woodward Ave in Detroit. That's 2217 Woodward Ave in Detroit. Come hang with us. Part of my cheese steak and Pepsi are on the menu because cheese steaks taste even better with a Pepsi or two, if you're max.

See you there. Okay, let's wrap up the show.

There's one other thing that we didn't talk about with McShea with the draft that I meant to mention last week. It's also related to Topgolf, which is a good sponsor. Did you hear about how the commanders did their visits with all the top prospects? Oh, in Topgolf? I think they had 20 different guys. I like this. But what they did was they took all of them to Topgolf at the same time, and they just watched them play Topgolf. I liked it. And watched them compete. I liked it. We had Jaden, Drake, JJ, all those guys, Just playing top golf and evaluating them. I'm going to wait to see all this plays out to determine whether or not I like that or not. Yeah. But it's still a-Watch them compete.

I guess it's-Jay Jay was there?

I think so. Shut the fuck up. Oh, no. Hank, you and your little smug face. He's feeling himself. Yeah, he is. I was just clarifying. We can't do a podcast when you have a double win weekend. Yeah. The double win weekends are just- Really talkative this week.

Yeah. You're feeling. Thanks. Max is nodding violently. Okay, Mr. Per, Try to win one pick challenge. That's all he's got to do is try to win one fucking pick. This stupid fucking turtle.

I thought we were talking about the- Yeah, the play-in game.

Technically, the stats don't count. So Mr. Per, you could say zero and zero.

Zero and zero. If you want to give him that excuse. I personally don't believe in excuses.

I think we got to switch to Puck.

Well, we're going to do Puck, too. So he's got the Knicks and Sixers out there right now. We're going to see what he does while we wait for Max to set it up. I had a hypothetical for you guys. Just a crazy hypothetical. You ready for it? If you could pick any decade that you could live in instead of this one, what would you pick?Hypothetically? Hypothetically.

I think there are a couple of spring to mind.

Wait, wait.

Any decade? Any decade. You want me to go first?

The 12, 15, would be pretty cool. The '60s?

I would go 18, 30s with no racism.

Okay.

I just think that would rock. Don't you guys?

What happened in the 18, 30s?

Just no racism, though. Going towards the '60s. It's going towards the '60s. Would you guys say that's profound by me? Would you say that's almost poetry?

I think it's... Yeah, this is very deep. Why? Who said that? Taylor Swift. Okay.

That's one of her lyrics. You know what? My friends used to play a game where we would a decade we wish we could live in. Instead of this, I'd say the 1830s, but without all the racist and getting married off for the highest bid.

Okay, so here's the thing about that.

Wolf and the lettuce down.

Oh, he went Sixers.

I want to... Sixers hard. I want to get back to Taylor, though, for just one second, if I could. Do the fuck.

Do the fuck. Get the fuck.

Why didn't she just say the entirety of-What about the sexism? The world without racism?

No, she mentioned sexism. Why is she only getting married off the highest-Why is she only getting rid of racism in the 1830s? Good question.

Some may say it was worse in the 1840s. Yeah. Then now that decade is just super racist?

Also, if you got rid of it earlier, maybe you get rid of a lot of other bad shit.

You know what? I would get rid of all the racists.

Yeah. Well, she did say, Yeah, I'd say the 1830s, but without all the racists.

Okay.

What That's a beautiful line.

Racist in the 1820s. Wiping the Brow. That was a close one.

What are you saying, Max? Why was that?

I was on to Hanks' Help.

Hanks' Help. I'm going to switch. Mr. Paris, pick the Sixers.

I did listen to the Taylor Swift album in its entirety. I listened to some of it.

I think you must have missed that banger of a line.

I did miss that one banger. Some of the songs sound the same.

Some people were saying, not me, that it was mid.

Some of the songs, I can't tell the difference. I'm like, Oh, did I already listen to this one? But that was three songs ago.

Well, if you have 30 songs, do you have an album?

I thought it was great.

Was the GTA line true?

It is very funny watching people just say... I saw some people just say, I'm a huge Swiftie. I love all her music. I did not think this was a great album. People just fucking ruining them. Just ruining them.

I am... Well, let's Listen, she's versatile, okay? She can do pop, she can do RnB, she can do country. Maple leaves. Name one other female singer that can do all three of those things.

She's an incredible artist. It's okay if she didn't have it. Mr. Paris is hungry tonight. Not everyone has the best albums all the time.

She said Should Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto.

Another poet. That's a poetry line. That's a poetry line.

Did she really say that?

That's poetry. Yeah.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Someone told me that last night, who I wasn't I don't know if I believed him or not.

Knux one.

Okay, I'm looking at- He came back. I'm checking this right now.

Mr. Per has the Maple Leaves and the Sixers. Oh, no.

Didn't Hank said they're the same team.

Yeah, they are. Oh, no. Mr.

Per might sink. Mr.

Per loves losers.

Might be a Mr. Per fade parlay.

Yeah, fade the turtle.

I'm going to give Mr. Per one more shot. This fucking idiot.

We can go back even Steven.

Look at him. He's fucking eating. Mr. Per, look at me, bitch. You got to win. He's got to win.

You know how to ball. I know Aristotle. Brand new, full throttle. Was Aristotle- Touch me while your bro's play Grand Theft Auto.

Was Aristotle a pedophile?

Probably.

All those guys were, right? Yeah. All those guys, they just hung out at the pool and just got sucked off by little kids? Mm-hmm. Damn. Those are the smartest guys?

The smartest guys ever.

Smartest guys ever? Yeah. Literally ever?

Yeah, that's what we're taught.

Okay. Makes sense. Mr. Per, I like that, that we're like, roasting Aristotle while we have a fucking turtle picked games for us. Aristotle's overrated.

Aristotle's overrated. Socrates. Now, that's a thinker.

Plato, he was pedophile?

Probably, yeah.

One of Plato's dialogs says, Socrates took a use question only to bet him later on. The age of the young man could be disputed.

Oh, man, this fucking guy.

Plato almost certainly didn't because we know from his writings that he thought only heterosexual sex is truly beneficial. Aristotle probably didn't.

Yeah, but you could be- What is ped-is pedistry, the act of being a pedophile?

I think it's, yeah.

This is actually around the time that pedistry is starting to be seen as unethical by most philosophers.

Yeah, you go get your degree in pedistry.

Oh, Stoic was a philosopher?

Yeah. That makes sense. It was a philosophy. Stoicism? I don't know. Maybe there was a guy named Stoic.

Epikurus and the Stoics. Yeah.

I'd love to get... Has anyone written about- Aristotle is a definite no.

He came from Macedonia and was appalled by that.

Macedonia.

There had to have been one dude in that crew who just wasn't smart enough to come up with something really awesome.

Well, I think that dude was Alexander the Great because they taught him, and then he tried to rephrase what they said and became a philosopher king. But everyone was just like, Oh, yeah, you're so smart because he would have killed him if they were.

I'm saying not even a king. There's probably a fat dude named Doug who was just like, What about this, Socrates? He's like, No, bro. He don't got it. I want to know his story. The guy that failed? Yeah. He was going to be next up, and he just could never quite get it all together.

Or like the class clown in there. How much Aristotle must have hated anybody that made jokes during his class. Somebody that was cooler than him.

Socrates and Plato were famously known for not cheating on their wives.

That sounds like they did.

That they cheated on their wives.

Who wrote that? Socrates? Well, they probably were like, It's not cheating on my wife if it's a kid.

Yeah.

They probably had stupid rules like that.

I spent the entire last summer not cheating on my wife.

Hank, maybe we need Hank to just give us philosophy 101.

If David Stern was in a class with Socrates and asked him, Have you stopped beating your wife yet? Socrates' brain would have exploded. I've not even thought of pondering such a question so smart.

Then Doug in the background would have been like, No, he beats her every fucking week. Shut up, Doug. The fuck, man. Trying to do some philosophy and diddle some kids.

All right, Was Socrates gay? Well, he gave me a B. J. At a gay club in Athens, close to 30 BC. Try your own conclusions.

8.

40. Did you say it? 20. I did say it. Okay. 20. What was the turtle number? Oh, 73. 93. 99. Put. 21. Hank, did you say it?

40.

What's 40, Hank?

Jordie, 40.

Okay, that didn't answer that. Thirty-six. Thirty-six.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away.

I don't know what to say, I'd say it anyway. Today is another day to find you. Shine away. I'll be coming for your love of king.

Shine away.

I'll be coming for your love of king.

Take I'm coming here, really late. Take on me. Take on me. Take on me. Take me. I'll be gone. Take on me. I'll be gone. You take on me. ♪ It's not better than the life is ever. ♪ Say up to me.

♪ It's no better to be safe than sorry.

♪ Say up to me.

♪ It's no better to be safe than sorry.

♪ Take me. ♪ Take me. ♪ Take me. ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.