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On today's part of my take, the 2024 NFL draft. We're going to talk about a wild first round, our new quarterbacks, the Michael Pennex to Falcons decision. We also have some NBA and NHL playoffs to get to. Had some big, big games on Wednesday and Thursday. We have an awesome interview with Dan Soter. Incredible interview. He came into the studio. Very, very funny guy. Talked some sports with him. Then we will finish with Firefest and the Lottery Ball. It's all brought to you by our at DraftKings. Nba fans, listen up. You got to try Picks 6, the newest real money fantasy app from DraftKings, an official partner of the NBA. Getting started is simple. Select if a player will have more or less of a stat. For example, will a player have more than one rebound or will a player have less than three and a half assists? Pick your favorite players and compete for huge cash prizes. Download the new DraftKings PIX6 app now. Get started with code take. New customers can get up to two $100 back in Picksets credits if your first Pickset loses only on Pickset from DraftKings with code take.

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Draftkings. Com/promos. Okay, let's go. Now in the street there is violence and I'm not allowed to start work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't name all on the sun. Oh, no. We're going to rock down to electric avenue.

And then we'll take It's Part of My Take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Download the new DraftKings Picks 6 app now and get started with code Taked. New customers can get up to $200 back in Picks 6 credits if your first pick set loses only on Picks 6 from DraftKings with code Taked. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, April 26th, and you're listening to a podcast full of winners.

I'm a winner now.

We are winners.

Everything about me is different right now. The old me, the loser me, off a cliff with that guy. This new guy, this new guy doesn't take shit. He has a winning mentality. I was saying earlier, if I'm at a restaurant, the waiter brings out the wrong dish, guess what? I'm going to say, Excuse me, sir, I didn't order this. Can I have the dish that I ordered? No more just accepting stuff, no more waving people in in traffic. We have quarterbacks.

We have quarterbacks. It's rare to have a moment in time that you can point to and be like, Bam, that's where my whole life changed. That's where everything changed for the better. And PFT-Different guys. We are different guys. We are winners. Now, the only question I have is there's three of us sitting in this room, Caleb Williams to the bears, Jaden Daniels to the commanders, Drake made of the Patriots. You and I are very excited. Super excited. Will you join us, Hank, in being winners? Because you are are not as excited?

It's a long way to go. To win a Super Bowl, you got to be more than just a QB. You got to be a complete team. The Patriots, despite getting a great quarterback, are still four and a half as they're over under win total. Is he a great quarterback?

Do you think he is a great quarterback?

Because you did your list of quarterbacks last week.

He's a top five quarterback on my list.

I like Drake May. I don't know why you're so down on him.

I'm not down on him. I just- You're down on him.

Yeah, you are. You're down on My people that I listen to for my Patriots sourcing and knowledge, Julian Edelman, recurring guest of the show, one of the smartest dudes on Earth. That's a fact.

Yeah.

And Bill Belichick both didn't have the highest praise or It seemed to give me a lot of excitement for Drick May.

Yeah, I get that. I understand that, but you got to be excited. I know you're still too new at being a loser to understand what you just did tonight.

I haven't accepted being a loser.

You're a loser.

I know, but I don't... You guys...

I don't want to. I'm sorry.

You guys sound like getting this excited for a draft night is loser.

Yeah, yes.

Yes. Welcome, buddy.

I'm not that excited. But you know what? I can't do it.

Hey, go back watch Drake May highlights tonight. I'm going to spend all night, all day, all weekend.

He's throwing a yoga ball.

See, he's so negative.

All weekend. I like Drake. You're the kid of Scott.

I like Drake.

I'm going to be watching Jaden Daniels all weekend long. I'm going to be I'm watching him all summer long. I'm going to be zooming in on his elbow, and I'm going to be like, Look how cool that elbow looks. Nobody else on planet Earth has an elbow like that. That's awesome. I'm going to be so pumped. I'm going to be watching all the games from last year, reliving the Heisman campaign. Big K, you have a Heisman, too. I have a Heisman. He has a Heisman, too. Hank was very upset. He's shown me a couple of very mean memes.

Oh, he's doing nasty work on Twitter right now. Retweeting me saying, I like Drake May. I do like Drake May. Also, it's called a smokes Screen. I never said Drake May was bad.

Memes are meant to be shared. I laughed at a meme. It was a picture of the 2003 NBA draft with LeBron Darko and then Carmelo Anthony. Oh, no. Hey. Caleb Williams, Jane Daniels, Drake May. I laughed. Wait. And then PFT was sitting next to me and I was like, Oh, look, PFT.

Remind me, who won the NBA Championship the very next season?

The Pistons.

That's nice. Interesting.

So Jacobi Rouset might be taking the Patriots to the promised land?

No, no. Darko was me. Oh, you were Darko. Jay, who was number Darko. I was Darko.

It was one, two, three.

Hank was Carmelo.

You're in on Drake May then? Yeah.

No, it's just a funny meme. I'm in on Drake May. I just, again.

Yeah, he's being nasty. He's been nasty all night. Yeah, listen- He's trying to drag us down with them. You can't do that.

I mean, let's be honest. I think you can look at the draft right now. If you're reading the grades, which we definitely are, read all the grades. That's a lie. I typed in the search function on Twitter, Commanders A, and then I read all those. Those are the graph grades that I read. I read all of them. But the bears, their offense is going to be completely different next year.

Getting wrong paper.

You know what this is? This is the ultimate test of how much the uniforms truly matter. Because on paper, it looks like they should be explosive. Nothing like any bear's offense that we've seen in probably ever. Ever.

Dude, DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, Roma Dunzé, DeAndre Swift. It's insane. I don't even know. It's going to be the most foreign experience in my life watching the bears being like, They have dudes everywhere that can beat you. I can't believe Roma Dunzé. I guess people were saying he was going to fall in nine, but still, when it happened, I was just like, holy fuck, this is incredible. I'll say it a million. Ryan Polls, what he did to the Panthers, I actually feel bad for the Panthers. It's gross because they posted now that it's like... Well, it's actually not actually official because we still have a pick in next year's draft from the Panthers, second rounder. But DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tarek Stevenson, Caleb Williams, and a 2025 second rounder, and they got Bryce Young.

Yes.

Ryan Polls. And now Roma Dunes. David Tepper. I love the fact that the bears… Ryan Polls is like, Listen, we know what the history is. We know what's happened with the bears in the past. Basically, every quarterback that's ever put on a bear's uniform has been not put in a situation to succeed. He's doing everything to make sure the Kea Williams succeeds. That's getting Roma Dunes, getting Keenan Allen, a veteran receiver. I was elated all day. I was just happy all day, ear to ear. Then I see Hank just dragging me down.

Hank, you said- No, I'm excited. I'm excited for Drick May. I'm excited for Chicago. I always say it. I want to live in a city where teams are good. The city's excited. I'm excited for the bears and the city.

You were pumped the other day when you were talking about Drick May because you gave him the most beautiful nickname I've ever heard for a quarterback, the Mayflower.

The Mayflower. We were doing some T-shirt brainstorming. We will have to figure out. It might have to be a number that we have to get on Spotify subscribers to at least one of the T-shirts that we had mocked up.

It's worse than the Harambe shirt.

It's 10 million times worse than the Harambe shirt.

It's worse than Harambe lying dead with bloody bullet holes and Sean McFay standing next to him.

No, nick Trigg is the artist that does all the cover art. He's the best. He's a Boston guy. He was the best. I've never felt more betrayed than what he did to me.

It's a wonderful design.

Everyone, go hit the subscribe on Spotify because they do have those numbers now. Just keep boosting up. If we get to a certain point, we might have to release this shirt. We might have to put it on sale. Let's just say it's Drake May, Hank, and a Lighthouse. That's all we'll say. Yes, it is. You can figure out what it might look like.

It's such a bad shirt for Hank that we might have to just do a charity with the shirt where it's like all the proceeds go to Hank for his therapy bills. Hank, I got- What a draft.

What a draft. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm excited. We should all be happy.

Yeah. Optimism.

This is the best part of the football scene.

Hope.

Right after Drake May got drafted, I was about to text our good friend Chris Bermon and give him a boomer, but I want to give it to you instead, Hank, and you can use this one.

Just say it back to us. We'll forget.

Do you want option one or option two? Two.

Okay. May the odds be ever in your favor.

No, I was going to say, Drake May up. I can't Drake up.

Okay, let's hear one.

Or, Drake may up before you go, go.

Okay.

It's not bad. Yeah. Okay. We've had better.

Drain me up when September ends. Drain me up when September ends.

That works.

Okay.

That was the best one. That's the best one. Drain me up when September ends. That was the best one.

Definitely a boomer.

Drake may I kill myself because I don't believe in my quarterback, Henry Lockwood?

No, I believe in him. I believe in him.

Yeah, sure. You sound- It's the organization as a whole that it's going to be a different time.

We're in a different era. I just got to get used to it. That's why you also can't- I'm not there yet.

You can't take what Belichick said after is like, yes, he was probably giving his honest opinion, but you have to believe there's a little bit of bias.

Edelman was way worse. Okay. Way, way, way worse.

I'll read I'm so excited. Because I agree with the culture.

It was like, if everything's perfect around this guy- If you build the right ecosystem around this kid, he's got a chance, lots of room to grow as a player. I think he's still attached to Belichick.

Which read says, if he has a Perfect line and the great receiver, he's got a chance, and he's terrible now, but he's got room to be okay.

Listen, the good-Not exactly a ringing endorse. The good news is there were so many quarterbacks taken at the top of the first round that there's a lot of potential busts out there. You just have to not be in last place in that group. You just have to beat Michael Penis, you have to beat JJ McCarthy, and you have to beat Bo Nicks. Can you do that?

Yeah, you could do that. We should talk about the rest of the draft. I mean, PFT, I'm just so excited.

I'd like to say I give the bears an A+.

I give the commanders an A+. Hank, what do you give the Patriots?

A+.

Oh, man.

Excitement.

It was a crazy draft, though, because we saw a couple of things we'd never seen before. There was the first 14 picks were offense, so you didn't get a defensive player until number 15. You also had five quarterbacks in the first 12 picks, which has never been done. It was insane. So it really started… I feel like the draft went pretty much true to form the first… Four picks were scripted, essentially. Marvin Harrison Jr. I love that there was even It was even an idea that they weren't going to take him. People were trying to say, Oh, Marvin Harrison Jr, Malik Nabors, actually better. Marvin Harrison Jr. Has been the best wide receiver in this class since he was 12 years old.

Yeah, Malik Nabors is awesome. He's really, really good. In fact, I was thinking about just Coming out with a take that Malik Nabors. Who's the other wide receiver from LSU? Drafted top 10. Brian Thomas. Brian Thomas.Not top 10.Not top 10. But close to it. That they were only good in college because of Jaden Daniels, but I couldn't even bring myself to type that out. But it might be something I go back to. Yeah.

Why not? Try it on. Then we had Joe Alt at five to the chargers. People were saying, Oh, the chargers need a wide receiver because they've traded Keenan Allen, cut Mike Williams. Justin Herbert has no one to throw to. Well, Jim Harbaugh had the quote of the night when he said, I know the question is going to come up about weapons. We look at offensive linemen as weapons. He likes big bodies.

He likes big dudes to wrestle with. He likes physical people.

Shout out Joe Alt in that picture of him in his living room. He's just massive.

Joe Alt looks like the world's biggest eight-year-old.

Yeah, just massive human being.

Just a perfect offensive lineman. I'm sure that Harbaugh will be creative with how he uses them.

So then we had Malik Nabors go to the Giants, which Daniel Jones is throwing to him? Yep. Okay. J. C. Latham going to the Titans. They're beefing up their offensive line back to back years because they got Skransky last year.

I think that was a pick made by... Maybe the first pick ever made by a head coach's dad. Yeah, true. Where Callahan was like, Give me this guy.

Yeah, I want this guy. And then everything went crazy because the Atlanta Falcons, who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal, what, like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Pennix Jr. With the eighth pick, and we had their GM look It worked live, looking like he was trying to explain to Arthur Smith or Arthur Blank what exactly was happening. Yeah. Crazy. It makes... Even if you wanted to get... Even if you're the Falcon, you're like, You know what? Let's do the packers type of situation where we draft a guy behind a guy, and we're like, We're going to let him sit for a couple of years. Michael Pennix Jr. Is old, and JJ McCarthy is young. If you sit him for two years, he's going to be Brandon Whedon.

Then, quarterback rookie deals, first-round deals are four years. There's a fifth-year option on there. Kurt Cousins, his deal is currently four years. Here's the thing about that move, is that there's about eight reasons why it doesn't make sense. It makes zero sense to do it. Now, if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But when is he going to start? Is he going to sit for two years and then he's going to play? Why use such a high pick for this? You could have probably got him in the second round.

It was so baffling for them to do that.

Well, they had an all-time spin zone. So our friend Diana Rossini contacted the Falcons, and their spin zone was, Kirk Cousins is such a good quarterback that they're not going to be in a position to draft a good quarterback over the next four years. That's smart. Kirk Cousins is almost too good at playing quarterback because he's so good that he's going to ruin your team forever.

So you had to get your QB2 now.

That's exactly what happened with Hank's Patriots, where Tom braided was so good at playing quarterback that they weren't able to ever draft good quarterbacks.

Yeah. And they did draft quarterbacks. They didn't draft them with the eighth pick.

They didn't draft them with the eighth pick. It was Mac Jones.

It's very funny. Mac Jones. No, that was after Tom braided, though. Yeah. I'm saying the Patriors did draft Jimmy Garoppolo as an heir apparent, but it wasn't with the eighth pick. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Even Jordan Love, he was in the '20s.

He was in the '20s, and also Aaron Rodgers was trying to break up.

He did probably just sign a contract extension because he would just break up and then sign a contract. Either way, it makes no sense. It's crazy. Kirk Cousins was blindsided. The report came out that the Falcons called him two minutes before the pick. I actually feel bad for Kirk Cousins. Not so, so bad because he still gets $180 million or whatever it's going to be guaranteed because if Michael Pennix turns out to be good in practice and all these things and wows him, I would imagine he's going to start either next year or two years from now or three years. They'll cut Kirk Cousins.

It's over 100 mil guaranteed. The full contract is 180.

I don't feel bad for him because he still got that money. But that does suck to sign with somewhere and then have them draft someone with the eighth pick I just don't understand what the Falcons are thinking. They have gone the last four years. They went Drake London, they went Kyle Pitz, they went Béjan, and they went a backup quarterback with all in the top 10. That's crazy. It's It's weird. It's nuts.

Every Falcons fan out there was like, What the fuck are we doing right now? It makes no sense to do. But if he ends up being a good quarterback, then no one's going to care, and they'll be like, Great job by the Falcons.

I still think you could have probably traded down.

Probably could have traded down a lot for him.

Probably could have waited a little bit, but it was a crazy run on quarterbacks because then we had-I think it got started, though, because of the Falcons.

I don't know that he would have been off the board if you had traded back until the mid-teens, early '20s.

I agree. Then Roma Dunes to the bears, which I couldn't be more excited about. They're already best friends, which is awesome. J. J. Mccarthy then goes to… Vikings traded 10 times, it felt like. Yeah. J. J. Mccarthy goes to the Vikings. It seemed like they were eyeing him for a while. They only had to trade up one spot in that trade. Then they traded up again with the Jaguars later on in the draft. Then you had Fashanu and then Bo Nix, which I think Bo Nix is also one where I'm scratching my head being like, why would the Broncos take him at 12?

Maybe they were worried that the Raiders were going to get him, but also since it's Bo Nix, maybe you want the Raiders to have him.

Well, here's a good sign of is a team maybe reaching on their draft pick. Diana Rossini did some good reporting about the spin zone for the Falcons. Adam Schefter went into a full spin zone for the Broncos. He fired off some tweets. I'm going to read them to you, but it It was essentially like, Hey, Adam, we're going to get killed for taking Bo Nicks at 12. Can you do us a solid, please? He started it with, Sean Payton wanted and intended to draft Patrick Mahomes in the 2017 draft. When he held the 11th overall pick, He was ready to turn in the card. But before he could, the Chiefs trade up to the Bill spot at number 10, took Mahomes one spot before Payton got him, leaving the Saints to draft Ohio State cornerback Marshawn Latamor. Payton feels as strongly about Bo Nicks as he did Patrick Mahomes.

It's wild that so many teams were going to draft Patrick Mahomes. There's six different head coaches that are saying, I had his name written down on the card. We're ready to go with Mahomes. But apparently, Sean Payton was actually going to do it, and Schefter made sure to include that little nugget in there.

He felt as strongly about Bo Nix as he did Patrick Mahomes. Then we had this one. That was just the first one to set it up like, Hey, listen, guys, Bo Nix and Patrick Mahomes are actually in the same sentence here. The next one was Bronco center Alex Forcet, who played with Nix Oregon before Denver, drafted him in the seventh round last year, raved to Denver's coaches about his former college quarterback. For us, it told the Bronco's coaches that Nix is smart, knows every protection, handles it all at the line of scrimage, and had the universal respect of the entire team. So Sean Payton taking draft strategy from his center.

Did you hear about the fact that they brought Bo Nix in for a workout? They gave him some plays.

Oh, this is the last tweet. This is Schefter. He literally just spent like a thousand characters on the Bronco.

This one That might be my favorite one. Yeah.

So he said, Denver held a private workout with Bo Nicks the day after his pro day. The night before the workout, the Broncos sent Nicks three packets of offensive play installation. And the next morning, as they worked in the classroom with Nicks, he crushed it, per a Bronco source. This is all just coming from Sean Payton. The Broncos then took Nicks from the classroom to the field, watched him throw for an hour, and were convinced they had a quarterback they wanted.

So what happened was they gave him all the information, and then he stayed up all night being like, All I have to do is make one team fall in love with me. Correct. And then he just memorized that, came in. They're like, Wow, I can't believe that this guy is able to absorb all this stuff. It's the best cram session ever.

If you need that many tweets and that many words to say, We took a quarterback at 12 that seems like a big reach. Bo'nicks is, I know the lines don't really matter. Bo Nix's over-under was 32.5 to be drafted. It was a real conversation. Would he dip into the second round?

They took him 12. Yeah, Schefter was laying on pretty thick there. I wonder if that was a favorite called in by Sean Payton or not, or if that's just Schefter trying to get some scoops in the future. But that's pretty far for even Adam to go in terms of running PR for somebody. And Bo Nix, I think it was earlier this season we were talking about him, and we said some team is going to fall in love with him, and they're going to take him in the first or second round, and they're just not going to be teams that watched him play that much throughout college. Obviously, he had a good year this year, a really good year. But it's just teams got desperate. Maybe teams are thinking ahead to next season, too. Maybe they're looking at the at the quarterback class next year and they're like, Well, we might as well get one this year.

I don't know. It was just weird. It felt like a reach. It just felt like teams were like, We need a quarterback. I mean, it happens every year. I've watched my team do it where it's like, You need a quarterback. We got to take a quarterback. Let's get a quarterback right now.

Yeah, and it does make you feel excited.

Oh, of course. Well, I don't know. I have one of my good friends. Oh, yeah, Hank, you feel excited. He's a Broncos fan, and he's not excited.Not happy about this?I would say not excited.

The side-by-side pictures of Zack and Boehnicks are also very funny. Sean Payton has a type. Yes.

He's got a type. He does. Then, which was crazy, so because of the flurry of quarterbacks, Brock Bowers, who is an incredible tight end and should have probably been a top 10 pick, goes 13 to the Raiders. Brock Bowers is going to have a great career. Brock Bowers has to figure out something with that hair.

Got to figure out something with the hair. Also, he pulled a max. Did you see that? No. When he got drafted, the cameras in the living room hit a dog right in front of him. Wouldn't pet his dog.

Oh, no.

I dinged him a little bit for that.

Also, if we're talking about draft living rooms, Olu Fashan, who's girlfriend, getting boxed out was so funny.

Yeah, she was reaching over. She got- She was reaching over mom.

Mom was just... It was textbook just getting the leverage on the girlfriend being like, You're not getting any of this right now.

Yeah, you got to have rules for the girlfriend. There's always one or two that end up going viral because they're trying to be too involved in the family. Or sometimes, there's a screenshot that lives on, Russell Wilson. You got to have rules for a girlfriend, a college girlfriend. Unless there's a ring on it, you need to have at least two people in between you and that person. Family members, close family members.

Yeah. I mean, those living rooms are always so funny. I always just respect. There's always one guy in the back who just knows his role perfectly, just whipping it up, usually gets the hat on faster than anyone else. He's not trying to get close. He's not trying to do a hug. He's there knowing exactly. He's like, Look, I'm number 14 on the depth chart. He's a hype man. I'm good. I'm good to be in the room.

We're a clock around your neck. Yeah.

All right. And then what else in the first round do we think was remarkable? Congrats on Quinian Mitchell, Max. You were very excited about him.

A plus great in my book. Toledo?

Toledo.

Toledo, best corner in the draft. I've only heard great things. I have great tape watching M action about him. He's a great guy.

I mean, nick Saban said it best. He's like, I wanted to get that guy out of the transfer portal, but we couldn't get him to to go into the transfer portal to get out of the transfer portal.

It doesn't sound like tampering to me.

Pretty much saying we told him to come to Alabama, we would take him, and he was like, No, I want to be a Mac guy. Respect. Yeah. I feel like it's good value, right?

That's what you were saying earlier. I mean, that's what everyone was saying.

You had him very high on your board.

Yeah, most people did. I think most people thought he was the best corner in the draft. The report was the Eagles were going to trade up to 12 with the Broncos because the Broncos thought that they could have got Bo Nicks at the Eagles spot, but we didn't even have to. They took Bo Nicks there. We took Quinian Mitchell at our spot, and everyone got what they wanted.

First time taking a corner in the draft since 2002 in the first round for the Eagles. Is that right? Sure.

That makes sense to me.

How he must have liked him.

Yeah, no, definitely.

Howie's cooking. Position of need. The other head scratching move in the first round came at the very end with the Chiefs trading with the Bills. The Bills traded their pick to the Chiefs who moved up, and everyone knew it was going to happen. We knew weeks in advance, some bullshittery like this was going to happen. The Chiefs move up. In my opinion, that's worse than trading inside the division is the Bill is trading with the Chiefs. It's way worse. They're the ones after you get out of your division that are stopping you from getting to the Super Bowl. They need a receiver. They got not only a receiver, they got the fastest receiver in the history of the NFL combine. Yeah.

Xavier worthy is... I mean, him with Mahomes, why did you let them do that?

Congratulations to the Chiefs on winning the Super Bowl next year.

They won another Super Bowl. They did.

They did, yeah.

It's okay to say that. It's okay to admit it. They just won another Super Bowl. He's probably going to be like, he's probably going to go for 120 in a countdown in the Super Bowl. Is that even worthy? Yeah. I'm thinking maybe like a 60-yard bomb.

Second half, 60-yard bomb. They're down by three.

Yeah, down by three and a half.

Yeah, down by three and a half and four minutes left in the third quarter. Fuck. Sixty-four-yard shutdown pass.

What was the reason for this draft anyway?

With a flag, and the flag doesn't matter. It's going to be the Chiefs again. This was such a crazy, crazy thing to happen that everybody knew it was going to happen, but it still did. And credit to the Chiefs. What else can you say? They worked the Tyreek Hill situation out pretty well, I'd say. You had the best receiver in the NFL, arguably, in Tyreek Hill. Instead of paying them, you let them walk, and you're like, We'll find somebody else. Yeah, you found a faster version of Tyreek Hill.

It's crazy. Also, I thought the Lion's Pick because they traded up to get Terian Arnold. It's just very cool to have a guy drafted in front of the entire city he's going to play in, and they were hype for that. They were very hype for it. It was a good first round. I loved this first round. This is the first round. I'm hoping that I can look back on and be like, I'll be watching a 30 for 30 in 40 years and be like, remember that draft night? That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, I really haven't been this excited about a quarterback since RG3's rookie year.

In the next three years, will all five teams, including the Eagles and Jets, make the playoffs, have made the playoffs? No.

Next three years?

How many out of five?

Four out of five. I don't know which four. I'm leaning the Jets not making.

I think the bears will.

The bears are going to make the playoffs this year.

I don't know if the Patriots will.

Don't quote me on that.

Yeah, I don't know why you're saying Patriots over Jets.

I'm trying to boost up Hank because he's such a dick. I think Hank himself would say- I've had one of the best days of my life.

I'm going based off- And Hank is just looking at him just trying to drag me down.

No. Yeah. He's doing nasty work. This is gaslighting. He's doing nasty work.

No, I think Hank is being self-aware about the Patriots right now.

He is, but he walked in, when Drake May got drafted, he walked in, he just had a frown, and I was just like, What's up? Aren't you excited? He's like, Whatever.

Based on his analysis of Drake May, that's what I'm going off of. I'm trying to gas up Hank, the draft nick.

I'm not used to being a loser in these situations. I'm not a draft person. I trust the process. I trust the crafts. If it were me, if I was a GM, I'm taking the best player at a position, not the third best player at a position.

Would you rather have JJ?

No, he wanted Marvin Harrison. Yeah.

No, but it would rather have JJ than Drake?

If they traded down and took JJ, I'd be cool with that. Yeah. That's the same thing to me.

Drake may could be good. Yeah. He's got a fucking big arm.

He can make all the throws. He can make all the throws.

Let me boost you up a little here, Hank. He was playing on a very bad team this past year. Like, very, very bad.

I don't want to sound like a Drake hit or I'm not. You're just not excited. I'm not optimistic about this.

Where I'm counting I'm counting Super Bowl.

The bears are going to get the stadium, get a Super Bowl, and play in it.

Oh, I like that. What would that be? Because the stadium won't be until 2030, so it'll be what? 2030? Yeah, I think so.

Takes a while to build a stadium.

It will be third or fourth Super Bowl for Caleb Williams.

Swansong.

What? He's retiring in 2030?

Well, they're going to get the first year at stadium.

Oh, yeah, true. All right, so like- 2034? I would like him to play longer than that. I'm hoping this is a 15, 20-year marriage that I just entered into. I'm hoping my entire life changes. I'm hoping literally I look at this point and I'm like, Dude, remember that day? Everything after that day was incredible.

Can you imagine we're going to be... You could be 55 and Caleb might be retiring.

Listen, I'm hoping that it's just my kids are like, This is... Caleb Williams just They grew up with Caleb Williams in our household. It's just Caleb Williams all the time, and Roma Duncey, and Keenan Allen. Well, he's going to be older, and DJ Moore, and Cole Komet.

I'm super excited. I'm so excited, TFT. We got RG4. Also, another thing that Schefter did. Another thing Schefter did. He tweeted out a link to buy Jaden Daniels' jersey, like a direct link to the store. Does he get paid to do that?

Yeah, he probably gets a little.

Are the commanders paying Adam Schefter to promote their team's merch? That's a weird dynamic for a reporter to have, but it worked. I clicked on it. I ordered Jaden Daniels' jersey right off the bat. I don't know what's going to happen with... So the bad news is, good news, bad news, Trustway is going to have to change his number from number 5.

What number is your QE is going to be?

Mine is going to be number 5. Trustway, my Trustway number 5 jersey will have to be retired. I'll have to get a new one, but that's fine. That's the price I'll pay as a fan for that. But he's going to be number 5 just like he was in college.

Yeah. Kael Williams is going to Kyle Orton's jersey number 18 because Keenan Allen is 13. He said actually on the red carpet, he was like, Keenan Allen has been in the league for a very long time. Respect. That's a great teammate move. He was 13 his entire college career. Just remember that number.

Kael Williams is 18.

He's 18 now. Remember 13, that number for some random reason at the end of the show. We tape Firefest in the afternoon at 2:00, just so we're clear. Hank trying to bring me down yet again.

Wait, wait. Yeah, he is. We're talking QVs.

It will all come together at the end, folks. You'll all understand it.

Big Cat, did you take your nail polish off?

There were press-ons. Okay. It was so hard to type. I don't know. I don't know how women do it.

No, there's a lot of stuff they do.

What was that girl's name we had to shout out? Mcculky.

Mcculky. Mcculky?

Fuck, it was a unique name. Malika She came up to us in Detroit. She was like, Can you guys talk more? Every now and then, some more girls stuff. We're like, Yes, we will. Next time we do, we'll shout out your name. It's been 24 hours we forgot her name. Milky?

Yeah, it's Milky.

Anyway, Milky, I don't know how you guys wear nails like that. It is so hard. All my respect to shout out all the women out there who have the nails because I couldn't do anything. I was trying to eat, I was trying to wipe my ass, I was trying to type.

I couldn't do anything. It's because women use a lot of cocaine, so they have the long nails for that.

That is exactly what it is. But yeah, shout out Maculke.

That's why they're so skinny.

So hopefully she's doing the Leo meme in the car right now. She's like, What the fuck? Yeah, she's-This guy's butchered my name.

It's so bad. It's Leo except with extended nails. Yeah.

And it's like, But that's not actually my name?

Yeah.

All right. Any other draft stuff? Oh, Memes. How are you feeling? Jets. Feeling good.

We got a big boy, and as Max said, he's the best lineman in the draft.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

According to who's grades? Max. Okay, nice. That's the thing, though. That's the beauty. All you got to do is find one grade. Find one person who liked him more than everyone else. And you're like, boom.

Memes, just search for a New York Jets A grade. And then you'll be happy all night. You'll get to read all that stuff.

He's a massive human.

He is big.

He just adds to the offensive line.

And you know what? Even if you're not happy with your draft, anybody out there that might be questioning who they took, who they could have taken, at least you're not the Falcons. Yeah. And if you are a Falcons fan, I apologize because you are very much the Falcons. You're the Falcons. I would actually say this is the most Falcons move of all time. It really is. In a long history of being the Falcons, this is the tops.

How do you think it feels right now to be Arthur Blank and just thinking like, Man, I wish I hadn't picked up that phone call from Robert Kraft? Yeah. If I had hired Bill Belichick, there's zero % chance he would have taken Michael Pennix on the eighth pick.

The Falcons, let me get this straight. They have an old, injury-prone quarterback, which makes total sense that they would pair him with a guy like Kirk Cousins.

Yes, exactly. Got it. Also, there were some funny memes going around. I saw one. It was a dog just pissing all over the kitchen, and it was like the Falcons drafting a left-handed quarterback named Michael, all the dogs in Atlanta right now. That's That was a funny meme.

I don't- That's all it was. We have no evidence that Michael Pennex beats dogs and fights them, recreation.

Does not.

I've not heard- Honestly, right now, does not. On all the red flags, all the weaknesses that I've seen on the pre-draft scouting reports, I didn't see that Michael Pennex has electrocuted a Pitbull.

This does suck for Michael Pennex. I know that it's great because of the money, and he's the eighth pick. But when you become the... The Falcons are the laughing stock of round one, and he gets lumped into it. I I say this all the time. These guys don't get to decide where they're drafted. They don't get to decide which team picks them. I'm rooting for Michael Pennix. I want him to do well because it would be great if he was great and the Falcons would be like, See, we did the right thing, even though they didn't because they could have traded down and got him later. But we did the right thing. We got our guy.

Yeah, it is funny, though, seeing everybody's so concerned about Kirk Cousins. I hope Kirk's doing okay.

Oh, the NFL Network, our guy DJ and Rapport were essentially like Kirk Cousins' life just shattered.

This It's tragic for Kirk Cousins. I think Kirk's going to be okay. I think he's going to be fine. Maybe they tried to call his agent. Maybe diamond-encrusted cell phones get bad reception because his agent is rich as fuck and probably doesn't even need to pick up the phone anymore.

He's going to be 36 sixth of August, Kirk Cousins. He signed a four-year deal. It sucks that you were maybe not lied to, but told that they weren't going to draft someone in the first round, a quarterback, but that also is the NFL.

I'm looking forward to seeing the postmortem on how this all happened because you would think that in the free agent process, when they're talking to Kirk, they wouldn't have been so all in on him if they knew all along that their plan was to draft a quarterback with their top 10 pick. I think it's probably going to end up being something like, We didn't see this coming, but we just fell in love.

We don't know how Michael Pennix fell all the way to eight.

Yeah. I think they're just going to say, We truly fell in love with this person.

Honestly, if I were the Atlanta Falcon's PR I would just come out with the most ridiculous story and just be like, believe it or don't. No one would believe it. We got confused. We thought we were picking 18.

Yeah, even still. Even if this was the 18th pick and they had taken Pennex, that would be a wild move.

It was crazy. It was a crazy draft first round.

Rg3 is probably pretty psyched to see Kirk Cousins having a backup drafted on draft night in front of his face.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he's seen it. I was thinking he might call Mike Glenn. Mike Glenn famously left the Bear's draft party when they drafted Trubisky. Now, Mike Glenn is a little different than Kirk Cousins in the fact that if an organization says, Mike Glenn, you're our starter, Mike Glenn should be like, What's the catch? Kirk Cousins actually is a really good player.

The funny thing is, Kirk is probably the best equipped starting quarterback to handle something like this. Yeah. He's going to say very nice things, and he's going to say, I'm looking forward to working with this guy. The more good talent you can have in the in the back room. He's going to say all the right things. He might even mean all the right things. But there's some deep, deep down inside part of him that's going to be like, Well, this fucking sucks.

It's similar. I mean, Jalen Hertz was a second-round pick, but it was the same thing that Philly went through.

Yeah, it happens. This is what happens in the NFL.

It sucks. We paid... Carson Wentz a shit ton of money, got a backup quarterback, spent a lot of draft capital on him. I think Kirk Cousins is better than Carson Wentz.

I would agree. I mean, even Russ going to Pittsburgh, team friendly deal, quote, unquote. But then Justin Fields gets traded there. A month later, that is going to be an option for them pretty quickly. Is there any chance that- Zack Wilson.

Any chance that- Zack Wilson gets traded. Could we hear the, It's truly going to be an open competition line?

No, I doubt it. I feel like there's no way they can do that.

They have to tell Kirk that it's his job. Yeah, they have to. They have to. But it's a first-round pick. It's a top 10 pick. At some point in the next couple of years, you're going to want to see what you have there.

Right. Also now, Kirk Cousins has to deal with the fact that if he gets injured or misses a game, that could be it.

Yeah, every time.

Every single time.

Michael Pennex isn't getting younger. Yeah.

No, he's not. None of us are. All right, let's talk some NBA and Well, before we do that, Pepsi. You see it in the front here, Pepsi. We love Pepsi. Everything is better with Pepsi. We were in Detroit on Wednesday with Pardon My Cheesesteak food truck. We had Pepsi-infused Pardon My Cheesesteaks. Thank you to everyone who came out. It It was awesome to see all the people. Detroit rocks. We ate some cheesecakes. We had some Pepsi, and everything is better with Pepsi. If you're thinking about your favorite meal, maybe a cheesecake, maybe a slice of pizza, maybe some Buffalo wings, everything is better with Pepsi. The refreshing pop of sweet fizzy Pepsi bubbles makes even the best food taste even better. I'll give you a little tip. The Wild Cherry is my favorite. It's so, so good. So grab a Pepsi, zero sugar for your next meal as as every craveworthy bite is better with Pepsi. That's a fact. That is a fact. Okay. Celtics heat, one, one.

Oh, I thought that they weren't going to lose any games this round.

Yeah, I got to- We were maybe looking ahead to the Nuggets, trying to find a way to stop the Nuggets. After the game one of the Bruins in the Celtics, I made a mistake, and I'm here to admit and moving forward, say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky. What?

Wait, Max. It's the play-off.

It's the play-off.

Yeah, Hank's happy weekend. I think it set you back, actually.

Yeah, I got way too ahead of myself. It's an absolute grind just to make it to the finals, just to make it to the next round of the playoffs. It's a grind. You got to earn every win. I was way too cocky.

So are we stopping thinking about how to stop the Nuggets?

I No.

But- Oh, you're not?

Hank has an advanced scouts department.

I'm watching all the Western Conference games, and I'm zeroed in the Nuggets. They're a problem, too. The Nuggets are a serious, serious, serious, serious problem.

It's almost like they won last year.

Championship or Bust is no longer. It's just win this series. It's win this series. Then let's win the next series. Let's win the next series. I'm not focused on the Nuggets. I'm not focused on the Western Conference. I'm just focused on Saturday against the You can't change Championship or Bust.

That's a Bust.

It's Series or Bust. Then it's Series or Bust, and then it's Series or Bust. Every series is a Series or Bust.

But Championship or Bust was said many times leading into these playoffs.

That was old me, and now that was cocky me. Okay, all right.

So guys can change.

I'm no longer cocky.

What do we think about the Celtics just not guarding anyone shooting three pointers?

Yeah, it was a weird defensive strategy. I mean, the heat were obviously they blacked out. They hit the most three in franchise history.

But they do that.

That was the most three they've ever hit. They don't do that every game. They're not going to do that every game.

But last year, the same thing happened in that series. We were like, They're not going to shoot this well again, and then they shot that well again. By the way, Max, you missed it. You missed it. Hank has retired cocky Hank.

I don't believe that.

He's retired Hockey Hank.

No, that's who he is as a person.

No, he claims that he's been momentarily humbled by the heat. Momentarily. By heat culture. And so he's going back. Max, listen to this. As much shit as- Why are we- Wait, Max, maybe don't fucking miss the podcast.

Maybe pay attention and do your job. You wouldn't miss it. We're not doing... This isn't a show catered to Max. He should have been here the first time.

You slept in six hours last week. Hank.

I was checking an ad thing.

Here's the thing, Hank. No, wait, but, Max, I wanted to just inform you of another- He's going to listen to it in 20 minutes. That Hank was on. Okay, fine. Yeah, listen to it later and then tell me what you think of what Hank's saying about this entire turning of a new leaf. Because you've been a guy, Max, that we've said, Is this a must-win game? And we've jumped down your throat when you say that it isn't, and then you lose. With Hank, he's taking that. He's rescinding Championship or Bust.

You can't do that. He cannot do that.

We're not in the Championship. We're in a Series.

The Series is a Series or Bust. No, but you said Championship or Bust before the playoff started.

When we get to the... If we are lucky enough- Haki Hank came out for a second. And less enough to make it to the Championship Series, that Series will also be a Series or Bust. Okay, now- But right now, it's just Series or Bust. And then the next Series, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, will be Series or Bust.

I have a question for you, Hank. Dan. Yes. Okay, so- No. You did say just now, the Heat can't shoot that well again. Correct. I have a stat for you. Miami has four playoff games in the past seasons with 50% shooting from three all against Boston. No other team has more than one against anyone. When you say it can't happen again, it's literally just keeps happening.

Yeah, maybe it is. The heat are a good team, and we just got to come out and play good defense. Hopefully, Coach Mizzoula is going to make some adjustments. Do you see what I'm saying? Porzingas played horrible. He played like dog shit. Tatum didn't have the best second half. Defense got to pick it up. We have the tools necessary. We adjustments. Game three is a must win. Game three, I am hoping that they blow them out. Otherwise, I will be pulling, not pressing it, but I will The panic button will appear.

It's going to be so funny if they win the series, the Celtics.

We can't be in a spot where we're fighting the heat. Again, if I was cocky and I was thinking about the finals, you got to just get through the heat with with no Rozier and no Butler. It's just got to be a 3, 1, 4, 0.

They can't keep shooting 50% from three.

They can't hit a franchise record for threes every game.

It's not going to happen. They've done it four times in the last- But only once this year. Right, but last year, if we went back- They had Jimmy Butler last year. You would have been like the Jimmy Butler known three-point sniper.

If you guys win four games to one, you're going to get back to cocky Hank so fast.

Hank, what do you think about this?

I think you still should be cocky Hank.

Yeah.

What do you think? It is You're going to claim that Hank abandoned this at the very first sign of the series. It's the fucking first sign. He lost one game.

You're going to win this series four. You're going to win this series four.

You guys lost in a historic shooting performance by the heat. Well, no. Something-fte, hold on. It'll never happen again.

They said a franchise record, Big E. You're not understanding. That's what I was talking about, a fucking franchise record, not the 50% your little stat.

But Hank, they keep shooting great from three against you.

Hank, I need you to stand up for yourself a little bit more, Hank. I need you to stand up for yourself. You spent six months saying it was a championship or bust, and at the very first sign where you're slightly uncomfortable, you're like, Oh, I have to reevaluate my whole line of thinking. Is that line of thinking what got you this far?

No, it just you realize it's This is the regular season. The postseason is the start of the season, and now we got to focus. We got to lock in. You can't assume a putt's going in. You got to see it through. You got to see the ball go through the hoop. You got to just one game at a time, one series at a time. Series or bust, series or bust, series or Bust, Series or Bust equals championship.

What was the franchise record? The amount of threes they hit?

Yeah, they had 24 threes.

23 threes.

They did shoot really well. But they shot really well. That's all I'm saying.

Four times 50% of the war. They made 23 threes, and the Celtics shot 20 less threes than they did the first game. They got to shoot more threes.

They got out, outcoached Missoula in game two.

Yeah. Heat culture.

I don't know why you're worried. Because it's the heat. It's by PTSD.

Get back to cocky hang.

They don't have their two best players. But last year was the same thing. Big Cat's right. Last year, I said every single game, that's not going to happen.

They're not going to shoot that well again.

That's not going to happen again. Then they were down 3-0, and then we lost.

Are you worried that you're 11-13 at home since the 2022 playoffs?

Yeah, I didn't know that.

That's It is a beautiful moment, though, because Max is gassing Hank up. Come on, Hank.

You guys are really good. You got this, Hank. You're not a loser.

I don't know. It's just this is crazy. The Sixers had no problem with the heat.

You played one game. I mean, the Celtics had no problem with them in one game.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm on your side here. The heat aren't good. They had one good game. The Celtics are the best team of all time. That's anything anyone's been saying.

Who?

Everyone. Everyone is the NBA. It's like, this is the most deep NBA team of all time.

Everyone's been saying, Championship or bust for these guys.

You lose one game to the heat without fucking Jimmy Butler or Terry Rozier. All of a sudden, it's like, we just got to take it one game. It's the fucking team.

I agree. You're going to win by 20 on Friday night. You're going to win this series on Friday.

Honestly, it's pissing me off.

You're being a bitch. You know what this is?

This is, again, Hank being a product of having such a winning childhood and youth, where it's like he can't separate his teams. When one team does bad, then he takes it out. He goes home to the Patriots and takes it out on his family.

I didn't know how this was going to go. I did not expect this.

No, I did not expect this.

This is the craziest turn of events.

This is why you don't like the Drake Mays because Hank doesn't like the Jake May pick because the Celtics lost last night.

I sounded more cocky about the Sixers when we were down 0-2 to the Knicks.

I don't care about you, Max. I have nothing to do with you. Get fucking up off the mat, Hank.

I'm off the mat. I'm focused on the next game. Then I'll be focused on the next game and the next game. Then if we win those games, I'll be focused on the next series, and then that will be a series or bust. That's how you win championships. Just game at a time focused.

Statistically speaking, they're only going to shoot 50% from three, three more times in this series.

You're talking about focus and taking-We just have to shoot more threes. Hank, what are you personally going to do differently?

I'm not going to get ahead of myself. I'm not going to worry about the nuggets.

I'm just going to-What happens if you win by 40 on Saturday?

Then we're going to have to win by 40 again on Monday. Oh, come on.

But, Hank, you already admitted that you're paying close attention to the nuggets. Old me. No, but you said that you did that tonight.

Yeah, but That series is already over.

It doesn't matter. The Nuggets played the day after you lost that game. So when did you make this change?

It was last night.

I think it was Bill Belichick talking badly about- Yeah. Drake Mays, what made you turn into a loser.

No, it was the heat. Honestly, it was Jalen Brown missed two free throws in the first quarter. Then Jason Tatum missed two free throws in the fourth quarter. I just got flashbacks to the Warriors series. I got flashbacks to the heat series from last year. I was like, Fuck, this team has free throws. They're free throws. You can't focus on being the best team in the world. They're free for a reason. Make your free throws, win the game, do what you're supposed to do, don't overcomplicate it. That's it.

Okay, so we mentioned Nuggets there. I mean, this is the funniest thing ever now. It's just every single game. The Lakers came out and were up 10 after the first quarter, and the Nuggets won. It doesn't matter. Jokuj almost had a triple-double.

It doesn't matter.

I think he had like 24, 15, and 9. Yes. It's so funny. People are going to still be like, The Lakers are a really tough team. The Nuggets ran into... They played a really competitive sweep.

They had four guys with over 20 points.

It's so fucking funny. I don't understand. Will anyone who picked the Lakers stand up and be like, Hey, maybe the Nuggets are really good?

Yeah, they're so good. Aaron Gordon had 29 tonight. He was all over the place.

So, yeah, that series. You know what? I hope the Lakers win one game.

Just so we could be like, Look, they're making progress.

In 10 years from now, they'll get to a game seven.

They He even had a good game from the role player that we said they needed to step up was Austin Reeves. He had 22. Well, D'Angelo Russell was terrible. D'angelo Russell had zero points. He didn't have a point. He looked like something was actually wrong with him because he missed his first two shots.

They were as close to an airball as you could get.

Yeah, they were bad. He looked like he had Bell's palsy.

Yeah. Who? Joel Embiid. So we got to talk about the Knicks.

Actually, no, he looked like he definitely didn't have Bell's palsy because that might be a PED.

Yeah, that's So the Knicks, Sixers. Sixers win game three. Joel Embiid was incredible. How many did he score? Did he score 50? Fifty. Fifty. He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball court.

We've watched Draymond Green.

Okay. Well, Joel Embiid basically did Draymon Green's-Finishing move. Yeah, career highlights in one game. The play on Mitchell Robinson when he tried to grab him by the legs, that should have been an ejection. Then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts. He needed Isaiah Hardenstein in the nuts. What was up with him?

The Hardenstein one, people were... That wasn't bad.

Dude, He elevated his knee into his nuts.

He was trying to get around him to get to the... That one was a basketball play. The other two were not. Okay. That I...

What did you say? I mean, look, you won the game. You don't have to apologize for winning a game. You don't have to apologize for him scoring If you were Adam Silver, what would you do?

They're not going to do anything.

You don't think so?

That was a really dirty point.

The grabbing of the leg was pretty bad.

I don't know if you saw his explanation for it. It wasn't great, his explanation. What was it? He said that the way he was positioned was that he was going to take out Mitchell Robinson's leg and he was going to fall, and that if he didn't push him away from his body, he was going to fall on it. Mitchell Robinson was going to fall on his knee.

He said he was trying to make sure that Robinson doesn't land on me because obviously, we know the history that I have with Kominga landing on my knee. I had flashbacks. When he came down to it, it was unfortunate. I didn't mean to hurt anybody. In those situations, I got to protect myself because I've been in way too many situations. I'm always the recipient of the bad end of it. So he wanted to make somebody else the bad end.

Yeah, he wanted to injure someone else.

He should just blame everything on Bell's palsy. Yeah. And we'd be like, okay. Correct.

So he just can't blink?

Is that a side of his face? That's one side of his face, correct.

Jesus Christ.

Remember when he went down? It was like, what's going on with his eyeball?

Is that like when LeBron said that he saw three baskets and aim for the one in the middle. Is that the opposite of that where he's got one eye, so it's closing your eye to shoot something? He's better at shooting?

He's a sharp shooter. I like that take. Today, his shooting was incredible.

Yeah, no, he had an incredible game. It It sucks that he also added that part because we should be talking only about his 50-point game, but you can't just ignore him going like Wwe on the Knicks. The one part I do love about this, this series, it had bad blood going in just because it's Philly in New York. But I love when a series gets to insane levels of bad blood this quickly. It's game three, and everyone hates everyone so much.

This could be It's like an actual brawl situation because next game, someone's going to go after Embiid's knee. If he goes out of the game and actually tears his ACL or re-injures his menisket, it's going to be like actual war.

Who's your dog on the team that you need to step up and protect him?

I don't know. We don't have PJ Tucker anymore, which is tough.

Yeah, Neang's not on the team, right?

Campaign could get a little feisty.

Oh, campaign, definitely. He could do a dance move on someone. Campaign could get feisty. He could do a little like- Lowry will be like little dog. He'll jump in someone's knees. With big bark. Yeah, like campaign could do a little West Side story.

Jets versus Shards. Campaign was also awesome the night. Campaign was a situation. Who was right. Role players play better at home.

I said campaign is awesome.

Campaign was awesome. He was awesome today.

The key with campaign is you got to just somehow memory flash him to be like, You weren't awesome. Because the next game, he'll be like, I'm on campaign. B-ball Paul maybe could get in the mud.

B-b-b-b-b- After the game when they asked him about the Embiid play, he's like, I honestly haven't seen it.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, no, I like that, too. That's how I wish I could go about this.

Yeah, he's never going to watch that play. He should purposely avoid watching it so he can just keep saying, I haven't seen it. I'm going to leave that up to the league. They're the ones that watch it. I don't watch it. Yeah.

So Sunday must win?

Yeah, 100%. Nice.

Are you cocky?

I think we win the series.

I like that.

The Garden is tough. It was just like watching the game in Philly, just so much more comfortable. Because when the garden gets rocking, it's scary.

It's scary.

Do you have your defense ready against the Knicks fans that will ask for you to apologize for Embiid's behavior?

Yeah, no. I'm sorry that that happened. Mitchell Robinson didn't get hurt on that play. He did get hurt later in the game. I wish he didn't do that, but I'm really happy with what I saw from Joel Embiid the rest of that game.

Because a lot of Knicks fans are like, Well, he should have been out of the game. He should have had the opportunity to drop 50.

But that's also a pussy shit because they're like, Oh, we would have won that game if Embi got ejected. So are you saying you don't want to play a team at full strength?

Oh, I never do.

I think they're saying that- I never want to play a team at full strength. If you had the choice to play against the guy that dropped 50 on you or not, they'd say, I'm going to take the net.

They're like, Yeah, we're a better team if the best... If top three player in the league is not playing. Yeah, sure.

And shout out to- Top three.

Top three, yeah. Top three.

He did win MVP last year. Shout out to Magic for scoring the basketball. They killed the Cavs, so it's good for them to get into the series, see where that goes. They scored 121 points. Don't waste them all.

Yeah, listen to- But again, it's role players at home. I I don't think the Magic are as bad as they looked in those first two games. Yeah.

No. Markel Fultz had 11, and Cole Anthony had 10. When you get home, get more comfortable, guys step up. Then the other game, which was another shit-kicking on Wednesday night, the Thunder got just like... Being a Thunder fan right now must be so much fun because first game, tough, nerves, young group in the playoffs, had to fight and win that game. This game, they killed the Pelicans, and SGA and Chet were awesome. It was very fun. They were incredible. And that's like, Oh, shit. We got those guys forever?

I feel like Chet smiles so much more in the NBA than he did at Gonzaga. I feel like he was all business when he was in college.

Well, in Gonzaga, his dad was the camcorder just following him around.

Yeah, now he's like, Okay, basketball is fun, and he's playing loose. He's way better than I thought that he would be. Yeah.

That had to be one of those moments where if you're a Thunder fan, you're like, Holy fuck. Even if we don't go to the finals, even if we don't go to the Western Conference finals, this is the future. We're just going to keep building on it.

Just imagine, just close your eyes and be like, But what if KD also?

Yeah. What if KD was doing some ISO ball in the corner?

Okay, close your eyes and imagine a future with KD and also with a giant building, a new giant building in downtown Oklahoma City.

And Russell Westbrook.

Incredible. Why not? Get the gang back together. Why not? Get Steven Adams.

Hockey. Should we talk a little hockey? Bruins are up to one Hank, cocky Hank?

No. Well, Hank knows Paul. That was a battle. That was a war. Swam and saved the day. They got to keep him in. They got to keep him in. Yeah.

I think the coach was even saying, you could tell that they're thinking about Swayman because they- He's the key to the series. They bump into him. They look different when they have to go up against him.

Yeah. They look nervous. Usually, the first round of the hockey plan is fun because all these series are close, but we now have the Canes up 3-0, the Panthers up 3-0, the Rangers maybe down 2-0.

Rangers are down 2-0. Down 2-0. Basically.

Yeah. And then I stayed up and watched that Kings' Oilers game. Oilers are going to kill me just staying up late. That was an awesome game. The period of the week for the Oilers would be the second period, even though they lost because they came out buzzing. And the Nites are just so good. They went into Dallas.

Tough look for the stars people out there because they were thinking Stanley Cup.

They were thinking Stanley Cup. They're down 2-0. They lost both games at home. The night's defense is so fucking good. I saw a stat. I got to try to find it. It was something like in the last five and a half minutes, the Dallas stars didn't even get a shot attempt. That's just what they're doing defensively. Yeah, it's very frustrating. It's not just like, Oh, they got a goalie standing on their head. They're just so defensively sound and stopping them. There's just nothing you can do.

That's the series where you have to get into a fight. If you're down, if you're the stars, come out, try to get into a fight, mix things up. Yeah, I'd agree. That's my solution to everything in hockey. Get in a fight. Just get in a fight. Change the whole momentum of the series.

Yeah. Okay. Anything else we got in the sports world? Oh, here it is. Goldenights did not allow a single shot on goal in the last 5:38 of the game, holding a one goal lead on the road in the playoffs against a team that averages three five, nine goals per game. That's insane. Yeah.

I do have one more thing in sports that we should talk about because we missed it. Reggie Bush got his Heisman. Oh, yeah. We did it. Congratulations, America. We bullied the Heisman Trust.

Did Johnny Manzell know? Johnny Manzell, no?

Johnny Manzell, I think he was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Or did he know?

Did he know that they were going to do it?

That's a great move by him.

To get out in front of him and be like, Yeah, I'm not going to be there. I don't think so. I feel like- Did he say we weren't going to be there?

So shouldn't we get some credit?

Yeah, we did. I think a lot of people bullied the Heisman Trophy. It's one of the best examples of bullying working in recent history, where people are just like, This is bullshit that Reggie Bush doesn't have it. But also, it's bullshit that Reggie Bush ever gave the Heisman Trophy back because they had to ask him. Yeah, he should have just kept it. Yeah, he should have just kept it. Possession is 9/10 of the law. Yeah, squatter's rights. Yeah, possession is important unless you're playing in the NCAA Championship game and you see a guy that you want a lateral to. Yes. That's what Reggie Bush should know.

We need to now focus all of our energy because I did say right after it happened, it's like a dog chasing a car. You catch it and you're like, What do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame.

Barry Bond's Hall of Fame, easy.

Barry Bond's Hall of Fame should be all the energy of the sports world. Write that wrong. Barry Bond, the best baseball player of all time, is not in the Hall of Fame.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Also, Jim Tresle should be retroactively rehired by Ohio State. I know the Heisman Trophy and the NCAA are two completely different entities, but the NCAA... Do you remember what a huge scandal that was at Ohio State, where players were taking their personal merchandise and then giving it to a tattoo shop for free tattoos? It was the leading story on ESPN for a month. Can you believe what these assholes are doing? Yeah, it was crazy.

I made a list. It was like, We need to get Rick Petito, Louisville banner back up. We need to get Pete Rose Hall of Fame, Barry Bond's Hall of Fame. Armando Galarago has got to get his perfect game. One of the craziest address is All time for the tigers. We'll think of some more. Dan Heron Hall of Fame.

Bruce Perl, Get His Hamburgers Back.

Bruce Perle, get his hamburgers back. Yeah, we got some more FAB 5. Did they ever get that banner back?

I don't know if they did. I don't know. Will Wade, rehired by LSU.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. We got to write these wrongs. Use all of our energy. Bullying worked. Barry Bond's Hall of Fame is number one on my list.

But the thing is, that's never going to happen.

But it should. It should. But we thought maybe Reggie Bush would never get his Heisman back. That's true. We can do anything. With mob mentality, we can do anything. Okay, let's do Dan Soter in studio, and then we'll finish with Firefest and Lottery Ball, which we tape to 2:00 today. Okay, before we get to our awesome interview with Dan Soter in person, our good friends from Pepsi are here. We love Pepsi. Everything tastes better with a Pepsi. Saussy, stretchy, crunchy, gooey, messy. Everything tastes better with a Pepsi. Pepsi is an essential part of the most undeniably delicious food moments. Let's face it, Pepsi just makes every bite better. We had our Pardon My Cheese Steaks in Detroit with Pepsis. It was Pepsi-infused, and it was so good. Pepsi is the best. I also will say the Cherry Pepsi, my personal favorite. Wild cherry Pepsi. Wild cherry Pepsi. The refreshing pop of sweet fizzy Pepsi bubbles makes even the best food taste even better. Slice of pizza with a Pepsi? You kidding me, man?

That's why I had for lunch today.

You kidding me? You kidding me? Pizza? I have a Chef Donnie, What's For Lunch Coming Out. We did a little Buffalo chicken wrap with Pepsi. Oh, so good. Grab a Pepsi Zero sugar for your next meal, and maybe make your next meal a part of my cheese steak. Like I said, we were eating part of my cheese steaks in Detroit. Great event.

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Yeah, thanks for having me, guys.

Thank you for coming by. We were talking about before. We love all comedians. We love comedy, but we have a special spot in our heart for comedians that like sports.

I love it.

I feel like there's a lot of comedians out there that either like sports and don't talk about it, or they're like, I don't even watch those things.

Yeah, the guys that don't like sports, they make you feel bad for liking sports. Where they're like, Oh, you just want to talk about sports. But then the camaraderie of like, I can call Bargetsy, Shane, Big Jay, and we can just talk sports. It's like when you're on the road, I know if Nate's calling me, he'll be like, There's a game on. Dude, the funniest Nate one, I was in San Diego doing a show, and I was just getting lunch, and I'm on the phone with Nate, and we're just talking, and he's like, Oh, did you see who the Colts drafted? I'm like, No, dude, I'm getting lunch. He's like, You're not watching the fifth round? I'm not going to watch the fifth round of the draft. It was like an insu-continent. I was like, No, dude, I'm out having lunch. He's like, I thought you liked sports, man. No.

So now you bumped you down his list of guys.

He's like, Oh, you're a But he really had that father that was disappointed. I thought you'd be watching late round draft pics. You're like, No, I wait for it to fill out online to see who, and then I go look up the guy.

I thought she was raised better than that.

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you cared. Yeah.

So who are your teams?

My dad's from the Bay Area, so I was born into the 49ers Giants. Then when I was about 10 years old, the Warriors broke up Run TMC. I chose the Nuggets because I lived in Denver with my mom. I was like, I need a Denver team, and I wasn't going to do Broncos. Rockies were in the NL West when they were created. I was like, Oh. So I'm Niners, Giants, Nuggets.

That must be pretty nice for you the last couple of years.

Well, except for the Niners.

I mean, it's been nice but not great. But Nuggets has been... After Melo left, it was so crushing that I was like, We're never going to get another superstar. I jokingly was like, What are we going to get? Like a crusty European. Then we got the coolest fun European.

Who's the best player in the world?

Best player in the world. One of the best big men of all time.

He's got to be the guy that was like, I knew he was different the second we got him.

I loved it. You got drafted during a taco Bell commercial. Yeah.

There's this-Cacerito.

Yeah, Big Cacerito. Yeah, Big Cacerito. He plays, I always say this, Jokić plays basketball like he's in the pool with his kids. Like he's waiting above the water and he's just putting it above him. That's the way he puts it back in his shot. He does.

He floats above everyone else.

Yeah, he plays pool basketball.

People are scratching at him. His kids are on his back.

Yeah. He gets out looking like he played pool basketball with his arms all fucking mangled. You could just see his wife going, Burgers are ready. Hold on one more shot.

He got a triple double.

Does he actually own cats? Because he looks like just with his arms. It's like he's always picking up a cat that doesn't want to be picked up.

Well, he's that pasty white. I bet you could just go like that, and then it'll show.

Yeah, he's got the marks and everything after every single game.

He's got chubby cousin arms.

Yeah, and he's got his brothers. His brothers rock, too.

Dude, let me tell you something about Jokey Jokić's brothers. They are my favorite fans in the audience because I don't know. Remember the year that the Sun swept the Nuggets? Yeah. Devon Booker got into it with Jokić, and his brothers were ready to go. They also harassed Mike Malone in a way where they shake him. Did you see him? The Jokić family, all they want to do is go race horses, and they just happen to be... Jokić just happens to be one of the greatest NBA players.

It is crazy. Jokić, he is one of those guys that if he was, obviously, His height made him... I'm going to go play basketball. But you could tell that he wishes he was shorter just so he could be a jockey. Yeah. He's like, I wish I could just ride horses.

The way jockeys are like, I want to be a regular-size man. Jokić is like, Why does it have to be shy?

I always see his horses and I'm like, God, I feel so bad for you. They're pulling him in this chariot. It's like 320 pounds.

He's the whole time. Fuck this. He's like, I wish I was smaller.

They're looking over at other people and they're like, You got such an easy job as a horse. My favorite was when they won the Championship and the press conference, and they're like, Are you going to go to the parade? He's like, When is parade? They're like, Tuesday. He goes, I want to go home. Then he got drunk at the parade, and he goes, I know I say I like parade. I fucking love parade. I have that clip on my phone because it makes me so happy. As a Nuggets fan, when you grew up a Nuggets fan, you're just like, Well, we're never going to win a championship. We had the '09 team with George Karl and the Thuggets that lost in the Western Conference Finals to Kobe's Lakers with Trevor Ariza. We were like, That's That's the closest we're going to get. Then this team, you're just like, We tied a franchise record this year of wins. I'm really hoping it. Lakers fans are doing a lot of this, and it's like, I hope we smack you.

That was the weirdest series ever last year where everyone was like, The Lakers, man, they took it to the Nuggets. You got swept.

Got swept. That's crazy. Also, as a Nuggets fan, it was poetic because the day we swept the Lakers was the day Carmelo retired. You're like, Yeah, bud. What's up? Oh, there ain't shit in Denver, huh? How does that feel? How's the breeze hitting your ring finger?

It's just nice because they're a fun team, too.

They're so easy to root for. I love Jamal Murray. I love Aaron Gordon. That Aaron Gordon trade changed everything for us. But I do miss Bruce Brown. I wish we still had Bruce Brown. I'm glad he He was not paid in Indiana, but he was a guy that would come off the bench and you're like, Oh, our starters can rest. He just energized the whole team.

I also like how he handled that after the Championship. He was like, Yeah, I'm coming back. Malone was like, Yeah, he's coming back. We're going to keep him together. Then he gets offer. He's like, Yeah, I'm not.

I can't turn down $80 million. Yeah, it was off. I don't think Nuggets fans, when he came back for his ring, it was like an emotional night. Denver fans were like, Yeah, we love you. Because we knew how important he was for that ring.

Then the other part of it is the patch for homes owns your life.

Dude.

He's a thief of joy. We talked about it many times.

He's so good at stealing joy.

He really is because that's- That was the best 49er team since 1994.

That was the complete 49er team. It It just hurt so much. Now, here's the thing. 2019, I got to go to both Super Bowl. I was very lucky. I got to go to both Super Bowl's. 2019, the reason that hurt so much was because McDaniel was the run game coordinator. It's just like, You just feel it's so insane that your middle school best friend is on... I grew up in Denver, a 49ers fan, so I'm an outsider already. But then my friend from middle school is on the Niners, creating this unbelievable offense, create this unbelievable offense. It's like, Oh, this is perfect. This is like heaven.

Your whole life is coming together in this moment.

Then they lost. Then Patrick Mahomes. Then Patrick Mahomes. This year, Michael Chey got us tickets, And so Shane, shout out Shane Gillis. Shane was like, You can crash in my hotel room, which is half the battle.

Yeah, especially in Vegas.

In Vegas. It's a nightmare to begin with. But he was like, Listen, he was out there with Bud Light. He had Super Bowl tickets. He's like, I got you. You could crash in my room, which It was huge. And then Shane was like, I got us tickets. So immediately I'm like, I'm lucky. All I have to pay for is plane tickets and dinner and drinks if we go out. Lose that game in overtime, which was just almost worse. You're dragging it out.Coin flip.It was the ups and downs, coin flip. There was a lot of problems. But what made it awesome, the saving Grace, was, as I was telling you on the act, leaving a Super Bowl when your team loses, you're just so beat up and defeated. Katie, has gone to a bunch of Super Bowl. She told me because she got me tickets to 2019. She said, It hurts more when your team loses. It's worse if your team wins. It's not as... It's not... It's like...

It's the traveling. I've gone to a couple of Rose Bulls and lost both of them. When you walk out of a stadium and you're like, I'm so far from home, and all I want to do is be home. Nailed it.

Yeah. We leave, and Che and I are leaving with all these sad 49ers fans. We're going back to the strip, and Che is like, I don't know, you want to get dinner? I'm like, Yeah, let's get dinner. He's like, I ate at this steakhouse at my hotel. You couldn't get dinner because it was like, it's Vegas, Super Bowl let out. No place is like, Yeah, we're not taking walk-ins. You have a reservation. We go to this steakhouse, and they're like, Oh, Michael Che. He had ate there earlier. They're like, Do you want to get a table? He's like, Yeah, sure. They put us in a table in the back next to Vince Vawn. Oh, hell, yes. Vince Vawn knows Che. We start talking to Vince Vawn, and he's like, Vince Vawning. He's like, Who are you guys? Like the Niners? They're great. Brock Purdy? You got to feel good about that. You got a quarterback that can do it? And I'm like, It was literally lifting my spirits where I was like, Okay, this is fucking phenomenal. I'm getting old-school Vince Vawn right now. I was like, Come on, baby. You guys had a good defense.

You guys might be back next year.

He does have an aura to him. We were lucky enough to stand just next to him in an LSU-Alabama game. And I think he turned us and asked us a question about something about a pass or something. We answered it and we were like, Fuck, we told Vince Vaunt. We know Ball. Yeah. We know Ball.

He didn't understand one of the rules.

I love that. We fucking know Ball. This fucking rock.

It must suck to be Vince Vaunt in Vegas, though, because everybody just comes up to you. Just say Vegas Baby to me?

Yeah. But, dude, I'm telling you, that was a gift from God just to be like, Here you go. Because then the rest of the trip was horrible.

Yeah, you had a place to sit down and decompress after the game. Okay, we can go have fun.

We commiserated, and I just went back to the hotel and packed and waited for my early flight.

Where do you rank Brock Purdy? It's the funnest thing that we get to do. Every game-As far as what? Quarterbacks.

He's unbelievable.

So is he top five?

Yeah. I think he's top five. Here's the thing about Brock Purdy. I think talent-wise, I think actual arm, speed, all that, maybe not. He's just got this dog mentality. He's got this winner mentality. I I remember watching the game last season, the season that he went down against the Eagles, they were playing the Raiders.

You guys would have beaten the Eagles.

If he was healthy, yeah, he smoked them. That's turned into a sweet rivalry.

Yeah, I know. Our producer over there is a diehard Philly. He just shook his head violently.

Well, they just signed Devante. Yeah. Until 2028. He just went like this. But guess what? We still got Debo. Debo is what killed him. But Brock did this move against the Raiders Because I watched Jimmy. I was like a Jimmy guy. I was like, I'll turn around. It's all right. He over threw him, so what? But Jimmy would just take sacks. Then they were playing the Raiders, and Max Crosby just came through, and Brock just did this one move and side-armed it to CMC, and it was like a 45-yard gain. You're like, That was the one player where I was like, This guy can just do... It's what Russ used to do for Seattle. You would just extend that play three or four seconds, and someone gets open. But he throws dimes. I I mean, the Niners need to sign Ayuk. I know that they're like, Oh, there's Trey talk. You got a lot of guys you got to sign. This is it. I think this is the season. This is it? Because I think after this season, you're looking at six or seven guys that need to get resigned that are clutch for the team.

This is why You should take the strategy of the bears and the commanders just never get good players. Then you don't have to resign them.

You guys got Adam Peters. That guy's unbelievable. That guy was in New England with Belichick. He helped build that Broncos team that won the Super Bowl, and he was a sneaky weapon for the 49ers. I love Adam Peters, and he's already making moves that you're like, Commanders are going to start upsetting a lot of people in the NFC.

He's great in the draft. He helped build the courier team.

He's a good dude. Honestly, when I saw him go to Washington, I was like, damn, that's the effect of not having a Dan Snyder. Now you're going to start getting a good GM. You got an owner that gets out of the way that can fund them. Yeah.

Our strategy right now is just to collect guys. We're collecting dudes. We're hiring people that don't even in our office. Smart dudes. We're just like, Oh, that guy's smart. Okay, oh, that guy's an announcement for the NBA on TV. It doesn't matter. He's a smart guy. We're going to hire him.

That's actually the thing that I don't understand why more owners don't do.

I'm telling you, man, watching... And Jed York did that when he brought in Kyle and John Lynch, where he did this thing where he's like, Hey, I'm signing them to the same amount of deals, so they're tethered to each other. So they have to work together. Then you saw the Niners build up and be like, and get small pieces like Kittle. Then you start getting Fred Warner, and you start drafting right, and you're like, Oh, okay. These guys are building a locker room. Then you get a Bosa, and you get big guys. But you start building that base. And some of these guys turn into unbelievable superstars.

So you mentioned Mike McDaniel. You grew up with him. You were best friends with him in middle school.

Yeah, that was my guy, dude.

You know that he was going to be a coach? Was that always his thing?

No, I just knew he was going to be involved with the NFL somehow. He was good at football. He's just an undersized receiver. He went and played at Yale, but his football intelligence was off the charts, always. Always very smart. Always knew he would read the pressbooks of each team, especially the Broncos. He was super into the Broncos. I got to go to that Miami Broncos game, and that was-That was awesome.

That was incredible.

My friend Chad Chad. Me and my friend Chad go to every game. We go to Dolphins games together. We went to the KC game. We go to support McDaniel, and he's a seasoned ticket holder for the Broncos. As the ass-wooping is going on, Katie busts Chad's balls, and she He goes, Chad, how are you feeling? He goes, Something can be beautiful and tragic at the same time. They were just getting rocked.

It was insane. I wanted that game to get worse. I wanted 100 points on the scoreboard.

But he did the thing where he had the knife at their throat, and then he went, No, I'm not going to pull it. I love that. That just shows you Mike's like, No, we need good karma. We're going to move forward.

If it was 49ers Dolphins in the Super Bowl?

I'd have to play the fifth. Really? Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. It's a win-win. If you want my honest to God reaction, That's one of my oldest friends in the world. I'd want the Dolphins. I'd want him to win. But best case scenario, if they would lose, the Niners still win.

It's great if the Niners won a Super Bowl, and then you played the Dolphins in the Super Bowl, so you're like, Yeah, I got my strut on last year.

Exactly. That's exactly how I want. That's probably the dream scenario. Niners win the Super Bowl, Dolphins go. If they play the Niners, then they win.

You remember when he got caught vaping on the sidelines?

Dude, I was sitting next to his wife. That was awesome. I was in Buffalo, and I'm on Twitter, and I see I show it, and you see his wife go, I think you just vaped, and she goes, Damn it. Because he won't ever talk about it. You know the NFL, they block them from actually talking real or whatever. They're like, You got caught, dude. You got straight up caught. But who wouldn't want? Dude, you're coaching with your third- string quarterback taking on one of the best teams in the AFC. It's so cool. You're in the game. You're in the game. Whack a vape. Let them start smoking cigarettes. It was crazy that they were in that game. It was nuts. Skyler Thompson. Skyler Thompson. Skyler Thompson was the quarterback, and they were in it, dude.

Then Frank left early. Remember that?

The guy Frank left early, Frank.

I was on a flight with him on the way back. What was that like? I was on the same flight from him back to New York from Buffalo. Did you leave the game early? I had to. I had to catch my flight. Yeah, he left early. But here's the thing. I knew that was going to happen. What's cool about being friends with the head coaches, they can give you a staff member to be like, all right. Because I had to go to the van, I had to get my and my stuff, and then go to the thing, and you were like, Go, go, go, go, go, Frank, he goes hard at his team. Well, listen, man, if you're a sports fan, you know about bookmarking tweets. Yeah. He said some nasty shit about McDaniel after they lost that Chief's game. I was at that Chief's game, and he said some nasty shit, and I bookmarked it.

You bookmark Frank?

You don't come after my friend.

Yeah, but it's Frank.

I know it's Frank.

He's also like he's undefeated on the internet. If you go after him, you're going to lose.

Well, no, I also like Frank. Yeah, right. I would broker that I would broker that piece deal.

The unfortunate part is you can broker a piece, but it won't stick. I brokered a piece with him and Scott Van Pelt. It lasted maybe two days. Then he was like, Fuck, Scott Van Pelt.

But I know if McDaniel takes the Dolphins far, he'll forever have a piece of Frank's heart. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's what I mean. Even if they get to an AFC Championship, a Super Bowl, even if it doesn't complete it, I know Frank will be like… Because Dolphins fans want a playoff win. They want a playoff win, they want to run. I think McDaniel is going to do that.

How bad did that suck being at that game in Kansas City?

Dude, it was... How cold was it?

People died.

There was that house that five people got locked out of.

Did you figure out what happened with that?

Yeah, well, someone took drugs. I think that was fun. But then someone was like, My husband didn't take drugs. It was so cold, it was laughable. You went outside and you're like, This is nuts. What are we doing? Why? Don't let them do this. Don't let them do this. Also, what's crazy was it was like the Browns Houston game was the day game, and you're like, Flip it, NFL. Why are you letting the night... You're letting the night game be the warm weather city? Houston's inside, I think. So you're like, What are you doing?

The windshield was minus 40.

Dude, I have a picture with me and Mike father-in-law on the field at Arrowhead, and the thermometer was broken. It just was like doing that thing where time travel movies, where it's like... It was like that on the thermometer. It was nuts.

I saw the Dolphins uniform that night, and I was like, They're not winning this weather.

Dude, Mahomes' helmet cracked. It was insane. That's right. Let me just say something. I've been to a lot of playoff games where we've lost or whatever. Chiefs fans, they're not cool. Not cool after you lose. Oh, really? Bills fans. Bills fans. It's a division rival. They're the best. You If you lose, they go, Hey, it's good season or whatever. Chiefs fans, they pop champagne. They go like, Eh, Chief's Kingdom. You're the bad guys now. Just so you know that, Chiefs fans, you're the bad guys now. Mahomes has-And I am saying that because they lost two season.

Mahomes has changed an entire region. They walk around with the confidence because why wouldn't you?

It's my home. In Miami, when they beat the Niners in 2019, I was rocking my Niners hat at the airport the next day. And this old lady that was a Chief's fan was like, Come on, that was our first in 50 years. And you go like, true, I'll give you that. But then they keep going. It's the Duke curse. It's like you go to the finals too many times. People are like, We're sick of seeing you.

Hank, our producer, he walks around with this sense of entitlement because he's a Patriots fan.

That's changing now.

He didn't even understand the draft when we explained it to him.

He thinks Tom braided is a direct reflection of him.

Listen, I understand this because it's rich kid brain. It's like you grow up with servants and stuff, and you're like, Well, the servants bring me food. I grew up a Niners fan. Dude, up until 2002, my only thought every season was, Who are we going to play in the NFC Championship? It was like, We're winning the West. We're going to go to the NFC Championship game. Then that complete destruction of the franchise, you have this moment where you go like, What? Where you're going 2-14. It was like when we went 2-14 to draft Alex Smith, and you're like, We have the number one pick? That's disgusting. We usually pick 25 or later.

Do you miss Harba a little?

He's the best.

Harba is the best.

He is very fun for a couple of seasons. But then you see why he was a great college coach is because they leave. Yeah, I know. Because the 49ers, it started grinding the gears of people where they're like, All right, with the ra-ra shit. We're pros. I think that's why John is successful because he's like a dialed down.

Yeah, but I think the chargers will be good right away.

They're going to be good. They're going to be instant contenders in the AFC West.

We're going to get back to Dan in a second. He's being brought to you by our great friends over at Proper 12 Irish Whisky. Here's a Proper Springtime pick, Proper 12 Irish Apple. It's a delicious blend of Proper's award-winning Irish Whisky with crisp and fresh notes of Irish apple. It's perfect neat, maybe with a little ginger ale. There's no better springtime sip. Pour the Roar with Proper 12. Pick up a bottle, try it for yourself. Original, rich and smooth, Proper 12 Irish Whisky, or try crisp and fresh Irish apple. It's smooth to the core. Smooth, so smooth. Truth. It's a delicious drink, especially in the springtime. Check it out. And yeah, get some Irish apple going today. Pass the bottle around. You'll have a good time sipping it. The interview is also being brought to you by our wonderful friends at Pure Michigan. Emmy Award-winning actor Sam Richardson is back in pure Michigan and his hometown of Detroit, just in time for the 2024 draft. All of Detroit is on the clock, and Sam is so excited that he's doing a draft of his own. Detroit is a great sports town, four major pro sports teams, and tons of upcoming sporting events and unique teams.

They've got the Detroit City Football Club, DCFC is what we call it, the Footie Lads, the Detroit Roller Derby, Detroit Cricket League. They've got everything in Detroit. Join Sam as he takes you to some of his top picks in the city, showcasing that unmistakable Detroit swagger that you won't find anywhere else. Sam highlights the city's sports culture, old-school favorites, and some exciting new businesses that prove everything is possible in Detroit. Nfl legend and style icon Barry Sanders, even drops by to help Sam get suited up for the draft. Check out Sam's selects and to see why Michigan is such a great place to live, work, and play at Michigan. Org/2024draft. That's Michigan. Org/2024draft. Check it out today. And now, here's more Dan Soter.

All right, your special. I watched it this morning on the road. You did it on YouTube, which I love because I feel like-I was late to the party, man.

I should have been doing this. Really? I should have been doing this. I did an HBO special in 2019 before the pandemic. It It was like, I got to do the classic HBO special, and then I should have been putting stuff out since then on YouTube. Because I did it and I immediately was like, damn, all right.

Because it feels like everyone's doing that now. You don't have to have any notes. You can just put out your content.

It's direct to the fans, and people could share it.

Yeah, and it was very funny. The beginning of it, not to ruin it because I want people to go watch it, but talking about how you wish you were a little bit dumber, that, I can relate to you so much.

Yeah, I suffer from anxiety a lot, and I think it's because if my brain was a little bit dumb, or I would just be like, Oh, cool, man.

We talk about it because I think PFT and I, we're not dumb, but I always say that I'm in that spot where I know that Malcolm Gladwell is full of shit, but I can't tell you why. You know what I mean?

I'm just enough- You're bar-trivia. Yeah, right.

I'm smart enough to know what dumb looks like, but I'm not smart enough to explain what it is.

I can feel smart when I'm playing Trivia at a Bar. I can feel smart certain topics, but most stuff, classical stuff, I'm very stupid.

Yeah, and like a sweet category on Jeopardy, you're like, I look like a genius. Also, it sucks if you're smart enough to realize how dumb you are. That's where you run in a problem.

Yeah. I just know, man, if it was just a little bit more.

Just a little bit where I could just feel a little happier.

And then I would just be like, Oh, no worries. I say that in a special, really hot people are just like, It's going to work out. Then you're like, Damn, I'd love to be that.

You know what it is? It's appropriate for right now in time when it's like World War III happens every other week. It's like, I'm smart enough that I'm like, I should probably read up on this. Then my reading up on it is like a 10 tweet.

I'm like, All right, I got it. You find a good thread. You're like, I think I know what's going on in the world.

Where it's like, if I was just a little dumb, I'd be like, I don't care.

My opinions about sports are never ironclad. If they're like, No, that actually wasn't going to happen. I'd be like, Yeah, you're probably right. I'm very easy to go, Yeah, I'm wrong. I'll admit I'm wrong. That's the dumb I am where I'm like, It felt like I was right.

It felt good to me at the time. Or if you smoke just the right amount of weed, then you dumb yourself down a little bit and you're like, Oh, everything's cool. I'm not thinking about anything.

Yeah, you're just like... Then if you smoke too much weed, you're like, Oh, I'm thinking about everything. The weight of the world is crushing me. It's true. That's exactly how I feel.

I love you on Billion, Thanks, man. Great on Billions. Are you familiar that you and I shared a billing one episode? Did we really? Me and Cee C. Sabatia. Oh, yeah.

I remember. Yeah.

Holy shit. I think they added me in at the last second.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Did you have fun on set? Yeah, it was great. It was actually right at the start of the pandemic, which was weird.

Yeah, it was episode, I want to say, 505.

Yeah.

I might nail it on the-On the IMDb? On the IMDb, but I feel it was episode 5 of Season 5.

It was great, but it was so weird because it was right when it was starting. They had everybody sequestered with masks on, and you could only take your mask off while they were shooting.

Oh, damn. You were doing it when we... Did you do it when we came back from the pandemic?

I think it was one of the first episodes that you did back. It was directed by... Shit, what's his name? Played Gabe on Breaking Bad.

Oh, David Kostable. Yeah. Who plays Wags. Yeah. You were episode 6 or 7 because we were filming episode 5, the night Rudy Bear hit all the mics. Yeah, that was a crazy night. And they canceled. So I left. It was like a night shoot. We were shooting at the studio at night, and it was Nuggets Mavericks. I remember that. I was like, Oh, Nuggets Mavs. I'm mad. I'm going to miss this game. And then I got a text from Katie, and she's like, They canceled the Nuggets game. And I was like, What? And then it was Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks had COVID. And everyone's like, Oh, and dude, we were broke for dinner at midnight, and one of the crew guys goes, You know there's an old Chinese curse that says, may you live in interesting times? I was like, Oh, that's crazy. Then the world shut down. I was like, You son of a bitch. But when you came back, that was with the shields, the masks. You could only take it off for the shot and then put it back on.

Yeah, but everybody on the set was so nice. I think about, you mentioned you did a stand-up special in 2019. Yeah. Do you go back and watch that and you're like, My entire set is outdated now. Yeah.

It's just so much shit happened. Well, it's crazy. I lost my sense of smell because of COVID. I completely lost it, which I'm doing a joke about now. In that special, I talk about smelling people. I was like, Oh, that's crazy. I can't even do that. That was back in the day where the honker worked. Now it doesn't. But yeah, that was interesting to come back. Then as time went on and it relaxed, by the end, by the last season, it was back to what it was for the first five seasons.

Yeah. Did you study finance bros to figure out how to act?

I waited on them for five years, so I was in the shit with them. I worked at a Mexican restaurant in Midtown right by It was by Lehman Brothers, Blackstone, all those guys, and they would come in and just be dickheads. That was like, Oh, I know how they act.

You guys nailed the vest, by the way.

The Fleece vest. Dollar Bill's vest was unbelievable. Yeah, and that was Kelly O'Coyne, who plays Dollar Bill, huge sports guy. It's great. When we would be on set, he's a huge Trailblazers fan. That was when the Nuggets Trailblazers were having their rivalry, into the bubble and then out. It was be talking shit, being like, Oh, dude, we got it. We did a boxing episode where we boxed each other, and that was at the height of the Blazer's Nuggets rivalry, and it was fun.

Did you think you did a good job boxing? Did you have to train for it?

Yeah, we had to go. We went and learned how to do footwork, even though we were sloppy as hell.

Because there's nothing worse than watching a sports movie and being like, That guy's never shot a basketball.

We worked with the trainer who trained Hillary Swank for Million Dollar Baby. But the fun part was you read the script and you're like, Oh, we suck. So this is going to be easy. It's Then I accidentally broke Kelly's rib. Because they were like, throw punches, and I threw one and just pop.It's.

Got to feel good. Yeah, it does.

I just feel bad for the rest of the thing. But that episode was awesome because we had Rich Eisen and Bob Menthory, and you had Steepay Miotich and Deontay Wilder. It was all these cool people in one location. But with Billions, sometimes you don't know the famous people. They have finance people that are famous. I'm just chilling on that boxing episode talking to this old guy, just having a bullshit conversation. He walks away and David Levine, one of the creators, goes, You know it's the guy that shorted Enron. I was like, Oh, shit. I was just being like, Yeah, there's a pretty good dim sum down the street.

It's a idiot. No, the cameos in that show are always strong. You got Metallica was on there. Yeah, they did season one. Mark Cuban has been on there a few times, I think.

Cuban has done it a couple of times. There's been some really cool ones. Also, Koppelman is friendly with JJ Redik. Redik would come by set when we were filming in Brooklyn. That was cool because he's my age, and I went to Arizona, and he was at Duke, and it was like... I got to be like, Oh, Salim Stoudermier, I thought he should have been player of the Year. I thought he shouldn't have. He's talking shit back. I was like, That's awesome.

Jj probably gets it all the time. People that meet him, they're like, I fucking hate you. He's so cool. Yeah, I know.

We've had him on a few times. He actually was my neighbor in Brooklyn. Really?

Yeah. But he was like, it's awesome when you have an athlete that you cheer against and you meet and you're like, You're a good dude. I bet Mahomes is a great dude. Oh, he's the best.

It actually makes me mad. I know. I wish he was like, and it's crazy, too, because his family's had some things. Sure. But he rides with his family like, God damn it, you're a fucking great dude.

He's a winner. Yeah. It's like you meet those people and you're like, All right. Then you go back to sports and you're like, Fuck you, though. Put the uniform on.

Yeah, but we always talk about this. If one of us rooted for a team that had Patrick Mahomes, this show would suck because no one wants to listen to-You don't listen to winners. Once you win a lot, then you do become, like you said, you become the guy that is now looking down on everyone.

You're like, Oh, I wish you Honestly, I think, look what happened to the city of Boston. My in-laws are from Boston, and a lot of my close friends are from Boston. In '04, Boston was the most cheered for city from the outside in. Then they had the run of the greatest sports run a city probably has ever had with not only the Patriots, but the Red Sox, Celtics, and the Bruins. You're like, You guys are a Championship city. Then now they're starting to come back down to Earth where you're like, All right, I'm starting like Boston I can cheer for them now. The Celtics team, you're like, All right, I want to see them do something.

It is funny, yeah, watching Hank come to grips. I said he literally like... Because I have the first pick, he has a second pick, Hank has a third pick, and we were talking about the draft, and he thought he could trade up to one and not give up three.

Oh, you're like, No, dude.

We're like, No, that's not how it works.

You've never been up this high. Especially, Bear's fan. I think I would honestly put, Commanders, you guys are going to be coming back. I think you're a team that everyone's got to reset on. And realize that Snyder's not there. It's going to take a couple of years. I would say the bears are in a very similar position as the Browns and the Bills. Bills are starting to get good where you're like, All right, you guys are good and you have too much. But like, bears and browns, I could see myself if you guys go to the playoffs in the Niners get knocked out being like, Let's go, bears.

And Caleb Williams, I think, is going to piss everyone off. You think so? Oh, yeah. He's the first Gen Z quarterback.

Can I ask you a question? Yeah. What if Justin Fields goes to Pittsburgh?

Oh, it's going to happen.

And just rips.

Oh, he's going to be awesome. Are you serious?

Dude, One or two years after Russ?

Yeah, no, he's going to be sick.

Yeah, he's going to be so good. Of course, he's going to be sick. When the Niners drafted Trey Lance, I was like, McDaniel was still there. He was the OC. I was like, Who are you taking? And he's like, Who do you want? I was like, Justin Fields. He was like, Well, I'm not going to tell you who I'm. It was like a day before the draft. I was like, Oh, no, I want Justin Fields. I liked him. I thought he was so good. I didn't think he got a fair shake in Chicago.

He did not. People don't talk. The Mitch trade up. Solomon Thomas was a bust.

Yeah, we traded you guys.

I tried to do a whole thing where I was like, Why aren't we talking about Solomon Thomas? It just fucking sucked for the 49ers.

You guys gave away so much to get your been. Because I think we turned a couple of those pics into good shit. Oh, of course you did. Like the later pick. Oh, of course. Listen, she Shana Khan is dangerous. Third, fourth round. He's going to get somebody in the third or fourth round that you're like, Oh, shit. This guy turned out to be unbelievable. That's what I love about the front office of Lynch and Shana Khan, is they do really well in the draft. They pick up people. I think McDaniel is unbelievable at the draft.

Are you still real high on Kyle as a head coach?

I love Kyle. You know what I mean? He's starting to wear it, though. Oh, yeah, he's gray.

The picture is- He's got President face.

You know how they used to show Obama before and after?

Yeah, he's Abraham Lincoln after the Civil War. You're just like, Dude, you can't take anymore these losses.

But I love that Andy Reid said that to him where he goes, You just keep going and it'll go. Because I think Kyle is such a- That's nice, the guy who just just won three. He's like, Don't worry. He's like, Fuck you, dude. He's leaving with your girl, and he's like, You'll find true love. You'll get him a home. It gets better, Kyle. Yeah, it gets better. I think Kyle is an unbelievable coach. He's incredible. I think what he's done with the 49ers organization, I think we're like, I think this is it. I think it's like, this is the season or we have to enter a rebuilding phase. I just think it's like, win or die.

The thing is, if Kyle was on the open market as a head coach, there would be like 30 teams. You'd want him.

Yeah.

He makes the football sexy. It doesn't happen anymore.

Like the moves. What's fun is watching McDaniel get a chance now to implement that run game in Miami with A-Chain and guys like, he brought Fred Wilson Jr. And he had Raheem Mostert is unbelievable. Mostert was in San Francisco with him. It's just like, I'm excited to see McDaniel's influence bleed into the Dolphins because they have some high octane players. But McDaniel's talent is scouting. He's unbelievable. He loved When he went to the 49ers, there was this thing where he was like, I get one player in the offseason, he told me. He's like, I get to tell Kyle one guy that I'm like... That rock. And he came in the first year and got Kyle Uschek. Oh, wow. I love that. He's like, I want Uschek out of Baltimore. I would say he's one of the most important 49ers of the last 20 years. Kyle Uschek's unbelievable.

That's where they got ingled, down in Miami. Same thing.

Exactly. He loves a fullback because he was a ball boy with the Broncos and saw Howard Griffin blocking for Tharell Davis and all those thousand-yard backs.

Yeah, they ran the ball just like that.

And that downhill toss. Mcdaniel implementing a zone-blocking scheme for a lineman is, I think-It's so cool. Yeah. I'm excited, man. When I talk NFL, I just am like, Let it be September. I know.

I want it back. I just want it so bad. Run it back. This is right around the time where it's like... Because every time the football season ends, I'm like, All right, I need a break. This is nice. Then two months happen, I'm like, I'd like some football.

Yeah, I couldn't think of football. I was so heartbroken, Especially being like, The Chiefs again? Like, again?

Yeah, it was always going to be the Chiefs. Looking back on the season, the Taylor Swift getting involved.

Everyone had them written off.

Yeah, they get to play the whole We're Underdogs.

But it just sucked because I went and watched them beat the Dolphins, and I was like, Well, whatever. Then I had to watch them beat the Niners again, and I was like, I just can't. By the way, I'm done. 49ers fans, rest easy. I will never go to a 49ers Super Bowl again. I will watch it home. I'm 0-2. I'm not doing that to the fan base. That's huge, actually. If I'm the mush, I'm not going.

You got to do it. Yeah, you have to take one for the team.

I'm going to watch it home. I'll watch it home from now on. I'll go to regular season games. Hell, I'm pretty good with playoff games. I think I'm almost undefeated going to Niners' playoff games, but I will stay away from the Super Bowl.

It's better at home anyways. It is.

I've done it. And that loss, dude, the travel, you nailed it.

Yeah, it's when you just walk out of a stand, you're like, Just put me at home right now.

I was sitting next to this father and son who were Chiefs fans on the flight home, and they were like, gitty about it. I was like, Dude, I hate you guys. They were watching the highlights on their phone, and I was like, Fuck that.

When you were on that plane with Frank DeTan, could you hear him yelling about the Mets?

Oh, dude. He just was so sad after that Buffalo game when we were on that flight that I wanted to say something and be like, Hey, man. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know he was fired up against the Chiefs because it was like a game where he was like, A lot of calls get wrong or whatever. But I was fired up. That's when you become more of a friend than a fan, where you see that, where you go, Hey, that's my friend. When someone stops you, you go like, Hey, that's my guy.

Frank just blacks out during games.

That's that rage. I understand that range. We all have it.

You ready?

Showtime.

On May third, summer starts with The Fall guy. What are you doing later? Let's drink a spicy margarita. Make some bad decisions.

Yes.

Audiences are falling in love with the most entertaining film of the year. Fall guy. Fall guy.

It's what the poster said.

See Ryan Gusling and Emily Blunt in the movie Critics Say Exist to Make You Happy.

Do you want to make it out? No. Because I don't either. It's not what I'm into right now. What are you into? Talking.

The Fall Guys.

Only in Theaters made third. Readed PG 13. All right, so you mentioned waiting tables. How long were you trying to make it in comedy?

I love the stories of-I mean, dude, I still am. I've had some success, but I would say up until I moved to New York in 2007, and I spent about four years really grinding, waiting tables, doing shows at night.

Did you live in a shithole?

Oh, yeah. I lived in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, but I lived in a windowless room that we turned into a closet later. I was there for seven years.

You wake up at 2:00 PM and you have no idea what time it is.

Hold over. When I was drinking, it was brutal. No air conditioning, so I had to take fans and line it up from our air conditioner in the living room. It's like a science project. It blew cold air.

I mean, that has to make you appreciate everything. Everything. Because comedians, for some reason, you obviously see it with the actors, but it feels like actors, they just go to LA and the ones that make it or they go and they make it, but you see so many comedians like...

It happens overnight for actors. They just go like, boom. I guess the closest thing for comics would be getting SNL or something. But watching Shane get SNL and then get fired, but knowing that he had that momentum going, it's all about momentum. I've watched momentum happen I've watched it with Shane. I've watched it with a lot of my friends. I'm in this really great place right now where you're starting to sell out clubs, you're starting to move to theaters, and you're like, Oh, this feels great. It also just feels like, All right, I'm having fun doing stand-up. I never thought I'd be adding shows, making good money where you're like, Oh, this is fun. It's just a lot of fun.

Is there a small piece of you that misses the shittiness?

I miss my friends.

Because your friends get successful and they move away.

They move to Nashville, they move to Austin, they're gone. You miss being at the bar with them at one in the morning being like, All right, I got to get up for work, but we're having so much fun. You're just ball-busting. I think that's just natural with any... You guys have gone through it. You're super successful. You remember the days where you were just scratching for anything? Yeah. There's like, you miss that, but you don't want to go through it again. Yeah, exactly.

The climb is fun, but it's also when you're in the climb, it can have moments where you're scared. You're scared.

I remember I would open for Bobby Kelly, and I'd open for Colin Coin or whatever, and they'd be like, You're going to be fine. And I'd be like, Dude, you don't understand. I don't have money to pay my cell phone bill this month. And they're like, You're going to be fine. And as it happens, you're like, Oh, shit. All right.

Yeah, that moment where it clicks, you're like, Oh, this is a career.

That's a pretty fucking cool moment. And it's been fun trying to figure out different stuff. You're figuring out. Like, putting out the YouTube special, I'm like, Damn, I should have done this a while ago. But it was great now seeing the people be sharing it, people discovering you and being like, Oh, shit. And then What's fun about... I've been doing comedy about 20 years, so you're like, oh, there's a backlog. You can go watch my HBO special. You can go watch my Comedy Central hour. You can go watch stuff where you're like... It's like finding out about a band and realizing they have three albums. You're like, oh, I can go. I'm a huge Queens of the Stone Age fan. I love Queens of the Stone. Yeah, and I got into them, Songs for the Death. Yes. When I got into them, I was like, Oh, there's Rated R, Self Title, The Beaver Split. There's a bunch of stuff, Kias.

Have you seen them live?

Probably over 20 times.

Oh, wow. I've probably I've only seen them five or six. They're unbelievable. He puts on the best show. He also is like, he's had some run-ins with the law. I don't know how he hasn't had more because he just… It's unbelievable. He challenged some kid to a fight, stopped the whole show, Spotlight, and was like…

He picks on people that are picking on people.

Yeah, right. Someone threw a shoe, and he stopped the whole show, Spotlight. Maybe called him a word you can't say. It was like, Get up here and fight me right now, and the kid just ran away.

There's a clip. You can't find it anymore. But there's like, Queens of Stone is around songs for the deaf. They're performing at the Orlando House of Blues, and Josh turns around to talk to the drummer, and this finance bro goes and is like, dancing in the middle of the stage, and Josh just straight up 300 kicks him in the back. Then he grabs the mic and he goes, This is my fucking stage.

He's classic rock and roll. He's like the leather jacket, like fucking just shreds.

I could argue they're the best American rock band in the last 40 years. Yes, I would agree. I'll go album for album with anybody. Their album. Because they evolve. I mean, Times New Roman, their new album was unbelievable. I got to see them in New York when they came to Forest Hills and Queens. I'm going to go see them again on this tour because now they're warmed up.

Even his side projects.

Dude, I love the eels of Death Metal, Them Crooked Vultures, The Desert Sessions. You know what it is? It's the same with anything. It's the same as sports, comedy, music. It's just a dude that you see love doing it, and you're like, I love that you love doing it. It's funny. It's just like, that's my shit. Queens of the Stone Age. That's mine. The best. Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

What I like about them is you can listen to any of their albums, and they all sound totally different from each other.

They're always interesting. You want to see people evolve. You want to see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work, but then you get to see them try stuff that does work, and you're like, This shit rules.

They also pass the test, and it's a very simple test. When you put it on in a car on a highway, and then you look down, you're like, I'm going 120. Yeah.

I'm going to tell you right now. Fuck, this rocks. I know this isn't necessarily legal, but smoking weed and driving through the desert listening to the Queens of the Stone Age.

Yeah. We went to Detroit last summer, and I was like, Let's just put on some Queens. We listened to two straight albums, and it was just like, We got there fast.

You just be able to get out of a speeding ticket if you tell them.

If you're like, I was listening to songs of the Defra. Yeah, got to listen to songs of the Defna. Got it.

All right, got it.

Then you He writes you a ticket, next time, put on a podcast.

Yeah, put on something slow. I got into them when I was at U of A, at Arizona and Tucson. You'd be driving around the desert listening to Queens of the Stone Age, and you're like, That rocks. It fits perfect.

Yeah, it's made for me.

Yeah, it was unbelievable. It was mysterious and dangerous music.

I love it, dude. I love it. Like you said, it changes. Dude, every album is different. This new album is fucking awesome.

It is. Wait, Arizona. Cs in high school?

Close. C pluses, B minuses?

If I could do it over again, I'd go to Arizona. I don't think you would. No. You went to Wisconsin. Yeah, but Arizona state, when I've been to those campuses, and I'm like, Why does anyone go anywhere else?

Now, here's the thing. I went to Arizona, I would go to Arizona State and be like, Oh, this is crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. You guys are having blowout pool parties on a Wednesday. Arizona, Thursday nights were fun, Saturday nights were good. But again, I didn't have any money. I was dead broke. I wasn't in a frat. For me, Arizona wasn't that fun. I worked at a radio station, and I did stand up. That was where I would hang out with the people of Tucson. U of A was like, Oh, yeah, I'll go to a game if I can get tickets. But it wasn't like, I think Wisconsin is that classic college. It is. Five bucks for a cup and you're in a house party. Because I used to go hang out. Being from Colorado, I'd go to see you with my friends, older brothers and stuff. That was like- Boulders, awesome. Boulders. If If we could do it all over again, I would have gone to Austin. I would have worked hard and got into Texas.

That's a hard school to get into, though. It's very hard. It's so fun.

Austin. I mean, dude, you got the sports. It's like a cool music town. It's just got a lot going for it.

I would have gone to LSU, I I had a bunch of friends that went to LSU. I would go there for my spring break.

Mark Norman went there, and I ask him about it all the time. He was like, It was crazy. He's like, It's nuts.

You get a spring break, you also get a full week off from Mardi Gras. Yeah, no school, no class.

Just go party. Dude, speaking of Arizona, when I was a senior, '05, we were in the Elite 8 against Illinois, right?

Yeah, that's a famous game right here in Rosemont. Yeah.

Well, everyone's like, You know if they go to the final four, we get Monday off. Everyone's We get Monday off? People start planning these Sunday parties because our team that year was fucking unbelievable. We had Salim, Channing Fry, Igudala, Hassan Adams. We had ballers. We're like, Dude, we're about to go to the final four and get Monday off. We're up something like 15 with two minutes left. Then D. Brown and Theron Williams.

One of the craziest tournament games ever.

You know how I knew we were fucked? They kept showing Bill Murray. Bill Murray, yeah. I was like, Stop doing that. I love Bill Murray. Stop doing that. He had the Illinois eye on and he was like, Stop doing that. Then they came back and beat us in overtime, and that was one of the worst feelings of being like, Okay, well, that's it? Yeah. That's it? It was our senior year. You're like, That's it, huh?

Fuck. Just in a second.

We got class on Monday.

Yeah, class on Monday. I think everyone drank on Sundays out of protest.

All right, all right.

Civil disobedience.

We're still going to party like we won. Then we're going to get hung over on Monday.

Before we let you I have to ask you to do a little bit of Woke Rodney Dangerfield.

Oh, Woke Rodney Dangerfield?

Because this is my favorite thing that you do.

Yeah, he's like, I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? Women of color. I'm telling you. The joke, the only Rodney joke I ever wrote that sounded like that was when I was like, Hey, they say gender's fluid. If that's the case, I'm in love with a puddle. I was like, I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? The Native Americans. They're all their land. You know what I'm saying? It's just saying stuff? It's generational trauma.

It's real. Rodney was so fucking funny. Do you think he was like that when he was not on stage? Like same bravado?

No, I heard he was very low-key. If you want to watch a great... There's a Carson where Rodney's just fucking killing. And Carson's sweating, laughing. And Rodney goes, I got a lot of jokes. He just keeps going in. You know my doctor, Dr. Fitty Bumbats. Well, now I was doing Rodney doing basic bitch comedy. He's like, Hey, boys are weird. I'm telling you, they'll watch your stories, but they won't text you back. Rodney was the fucking man, dude. I love that guy. And he just used to smoke bats. They would just wear a linen robe and smoke fucking huge joints. Yeah, legend. That Eddie Murphy story, where he saw Eddie Murphy at the comic strip in Florida. He's like, Kid, you're cussing too much. Then Eddie Murphy blew up in there at an awards ceremony in Vegas, and Rodney's pissing. Eddie Murphy comes and stands next to him. He goes, Hey, I was wrong. He admits he fucked up. He goes, Who knew? I think he said something like that. You're like, Dude, that's awesome.

All right, I have one last question. Rowback question, roback question, robackk. Com. Promocode take 20% off for first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, robackk. Com, promo code take. This has been awesome. Everyone, go watch the special. It is very, very funny. Also perfect length.

I pulled it up this morning and I was like, 40 minutes? Fuck, yes. I ain't going to make you sit there.

Yeah, it's the dumbest thing we do with our brains where we're like, it's a two-hour movie. I don't want to watch this. Then you just watch four episodes.

I'm watching this Netflix show that was on Cinemax called Warrior. It's like a kung fu show. 45 minutes somewhere. But I'm in for the episode.

But it's so dumb because you will literally sit and watch a three-hour football game.

Yeah, and want more.

Yeah, I need more.

I see colors of the flower moon, and I'm like, I don't have time. Yeah, it's like, I don't want to. I'm a busy man.

It's Scorsese's masterpiece. You're like, I don't know. Shorten it, Martin.

All right, so you're a huge wrestling fan. I was a huge, huge wrestling fan growing up. I think I'm waiting for my kids to... I hope my son... I have two sons.

They'll get into it for a little bit.

Yeah, and I want to get back into it then. But I read a story that you had a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin in the works.

Yeah, actually, because of Barstool. Really? We caught some shit with the CFO, Nik Khan. Oh. He was like, We talked about it on KFC. And then Barstool, like, tweeted it out. We were still in development. We still have it. But we wrote a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Me and Dan St. Germain wrote an animated, which, by the way, the script is fucking phenomenal. And they have it. Peacock has it. We're waiting to get a pilot. Let's do it.

So wait, are we screwing it up again?

No, I think we're pushing them. Yeah, we're pushing them.

I don't want to push it because it's very funny. It's about Steve working at a black law firm, and it's called Stone Cold Law. It's like Steve's a lawyer, trying to help out the little man in Texas. I love that. It's very fun.Making it happen. It's very fun. It's weird. It's just a weird, funny show where we wrote a great pilot, and we're just waiting for them. We just want to get in the booth with Steve. We just want to be able for Steve to read some of our jokes because he rules. Yeah, he's the best. We've had phone calls with him, and he's the man. We haven't talked to him in a couple of years. This thing's been going on for four years.

All right, so we got to get it going.

Dude, I'm telling you, Stone Cold Law, if we could get a season of that, I guarantee we would make a fucking banger of a show. Let's fucking go. If Peacock gave us a full season, I have no doubt it would be great. Yeah. What are we doing?

I don't know.

That's a no-brainer.

He's my favorite boxer of all time. Probably the coolest thing I got to do was they asked me to be in the documentary. I had one line.

Yeah, I was in the Macho Man one. Yeah, it was the A&E. It was just like, yeah, I probably Stone Cold Sun.

I'm Four hundred people back in 1999.

When we sold the show originally, there was nothing cooler than my phone ringing and looking down and being like, Oh, Stone Cold Steve Austin's calling. It's just in my phone is Steve Austin, and he'd be like, Hey, what's going on, brother? You pick up and he's like, What are you guys doing? I was on the phone with him around Christmas at my mom's house, and I got off the phone, and my mom was like, You're beaming like your 12.

Yes. Dude, he has that aura. He came into the office five, six years ago, and he's like, I like your shirt. I just was like, Here, you can have it.

I took He's like, No, I don't want it. You're too on it, Steve. Damn, man, I didn't think you were going to do that. Yeah, he rules, dude. He's the coolest, and I really, really hope we get an opportunity to actually make something. Because now we're using that script for other projects to be like, Here's what we wrote in the animated space. That's how proud we are of that script. I hope they let us make it, at least. Let us animate. Come on. Dude, we had the guy. We got to push him. We had one of the guys from Archer that wanted to do the animation, and it was like, dude, it was It's a home run. It would be awesome.

Peacock, I will watch every episode a thousand times.

Yeah, dude.

I will just keep it on in my house.

It's silly, it's weird. You know what I mean? It's not poignant. It's just a real fun, let's throw shit at the wall and see whatever weird jokes there. I love it.

Who's your favorite tag team of all time?

Of all time, Legion of Doum. Okay. I mean, Legion of Doum, the Road Warriors were unbelievable. They were just like, those promos you can go back and watch them, they're great. But I also, I mean, I'm such a mark that I can go I can talk about this shit.

Yeah, I mean, I was a huge Dx guy.

Dx was unbelievable.

When it was Xbox and Cain, that was my favorite.

I saw a great tweet where they were like, If you think about it, The Rock is the biggest star in Hollywood. Dx took over the Wwe because Sean Michael's in Triple H wanted it. They did like, In Stone Cold's off on a ranch drinking beer. It was the perfect long-form storytelling. Yeah.

Xpok, when he would just get you up against the ropes and just start sitting on your face.

Yeah. Bronco Buster. I'm going to tell you right now, Sean Waltman's the fucking man. That That guy was in NWO. That guy was in Dx, and he's cool as hell. I believe it. Yeah, he's one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.

Yeah, I'm excited to get back into wrestling.

Dude, and I'm telling you right now, Triple H is fucking cooking. They are- I know.

I saw the videos. It's unbelievable. I saw this one video of this kid crying after Russellmania being like, They did it. They all came out and helped him. I was like, God damn it, that's what I want.

Dude, I'm telling you, man, this is as a wrestling fan, the WWE has never been better. It's so fun right now. I get hype. I was watching smackdown in the green room of Omaha, and they're like, You're about to go up. I'm like,. Tom and Tom just showed up. Bloodline shit. Give me a second. Dude, I'm putting my ones in the air. Acknowledge me? What a cool thing. Roman Reigns rules. It's the best.

All right, well, Dan, thank you so much. Anytime here in Chicago, we'd love to have you come by.

Yeah, absolutely, man. I'm excited. Maybe football. Yeah, come watch the football with us. I would fucking love to. We're trying to catch all Sunday.

We're trying to get Stavi to come do it.

I would do that with Stavi. Stavi's the man.

Dude, we had him on after the Ravens lost, and I think we were the first people he talked to, and it was bad.

One of the biggest smiles on my face was seeing when the Ravens started fucking with Stavi. I know.

I was like, That rules. You saw the look every time he do a video before the- Roni? Yeah, Roni Ronny, he'd be on the main account, and he'd stop because he wanted to go to that dark Ronny place. Yeah, I got my fucking daughter up in child protective services.

Yeah, dude.

It's a Nerf the Ronny takes.

Nerf the Ronny takes. It's hilarious. He's like, I can't say that right now because I'm with a pretty known organization.

But yeah, we got to do it. That is the best part of our job is that we walk in here at 11 AM.

Dude, you guys are like a successful foot clan. When they used to go down on the half ramp, you're like, Oh, this is awesome.

Yeah, we just sit and we sit on the couch for 12 hours and watch every game.Unbelievable.It's like, This is our life.Yeah, that really is. We'd love to have you come sometimes. Hell, yeah.

Absolutely.

All right. Well, thanks so much. Everyone, go check it out. It's an incredible special.Thanks, man.Dance Soda.Thanks so much.Yeah..

Welcome back to another Firefest of the Week brought to you by our friends at Morgan & Morgan. You know what really sucks? I guess maybe falling asleep and not making out two podcasts. That sucks. You know what else sucks? Wrapping your car around a telephone pole in the parking lot. There's a lot of things that suck. Can I throw one in? What else sucks?

Losing his 14-point favorites at home.

Losing his 14-point favorites at home absolutely sucks. You know what doesn't suck? Probably what happened to the Sixers earlier today, where they definitely probably won. Congrats to the Sixers. Congrats.

I need them to win really bad.

Probably. I said, Probably. Congrats on the must win-win. I'm sure you won. You know what else really sucks is getting injured. You know what doesn't suck? Calling Morgan & Morgan so they can help you get what you deserve. Well, they can't help any of that other stuff that we talked about. They can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you are injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople. Com/pmt or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone.

Okay, let's wrap up the show. We got Firefest of the Week. Henry. Yes. Give us your Firefest of the Week. Okay. Uh-oh. Is it bad?

I'm gone back and forth because I've gotten some second opinions, and I might be overreacting. Uh-oh.

How many second opinions have you gotten?

A lot. I've asked a lot.

That would be a third or fourth.

I've had- You got seven opinions? Probably seven-ish opinions. Okay.

Here's eight and nine.

I was in the editing lab working on the The Dunkuminary, which should be out now. It came out Thursday night.

Hell, yes.

Wait, can I just butt in real quick? Sure. The Dunkuminary is a documentary that you're making about you training and being able to dunk.

My Quest.

Is this one of those things on my journey to dunk?

But my question is, you just started and you haven't dunked yet. The Dunk Humana is coming out now?

Well, it's a progress. There's multiple episodes. This is basically a baseline. It's really for the haters. I've set it up. I mean, it's true.

You mean the haters to be right?

The haters have been on a heater.

Yeah, the haters are going to have a field day with this episode, probably. We basically did. We had a trainer come in, got a baseline of what my vertical leap is, where I'm at, and where I need to get to. Then the following episodes will hopefully be showing progress, progress, progress until I'm above the rim and dunking.

How many episodes of the Dunkumentary are there? Also, did you do this because someone said to you, Dunkumentary, and you're like, Fuck, I have to make this now?

No, it It was reverse. It was the videos. We have to figure out a video of me training a dunk, and PFT said, The Dunkumentary, which is a great name. But in that footage, there's- Wait, how many episodes is there going to be? There's going to be three, hopefully.

That's it. That's all it is, three episodes.

Episode one, when you were getting your baseline, did you make sure to make it so you didn't really try that hard in episode one, so it looks like you make a lot of progress?

I would like to say yes, I did try hard. It's going to look like it's still going to be, if you're watching, a long way away.

Okay. Is there a chance the Dunkumentary ever gets taken off air?

Why would it?

Someone just realizes they can't dunk.

No. Listen, I'm in it. The bet's out there. It's 20K.

It would be funny if you just got a Hank Doppelganger with Insane Hops to finish the dunkumentary.

We're going to all lengths. We're going to all lengths. I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm going to be able to do it. I know the haters and you guys and Everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I welcome that.

I don't think we're being haters. I think we're being realisticers.

Also, when you say that sentence, that's redundant. You could put us in with the haters. True. The haters and you guys makes it seem like we're not haters. We are. I just want that clear. All right, fair. Yeah.

I think we're just a much needed dose of reality. There are sometimes where we just hate, for sure. I think in this case, we're showing Hank tough love because we don't want him to get his little heart broken when he's not able to How do you do it?

Or his ACL or something like that.

That's the only way that's going to stop me is injury.

That's the only way you're not going to dunk? Yeah. His injury? Yeah.

Okay. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good.

You're really ashamed if you pulled a LeBron in faked an injury.

No, we'll see. Episode 2. Again, episode 1, Go watch it. Let me know what you think. Probably not the best because it was the first day. It's the baseline. It's the beginning stages. Then hopefully, as the episodes go, people are going to start to believe, and then I make it happen.

Hank told me that he was training at a trampoline gym a couple of weeks ago, and I thought for a second that he was just dunking like a slam ball. It turns out he's training in a building that's shared by a tree, so he's not actually using trampolines to dunk. But that made us think, maybe he should be using trampolines so he can get the confidence in himself and know that he's able to dunk and know what it feels like.

This is all relevant to my firefence. Okay, go on. In the footage, there's some training footage where I was super sweaty and I saw a shot and above my head shot where I was bent down.

Oh, no.

And there was a huge spot.

Yeah. Can I see?

So then I've been getting that. I got mad at everyone being like, How could you not tell me? How could you not tell me? They're like, It's not the case.

Can I see? Let's see. Been down further. I think it's the start.

It's going to be bald.

It's the start.

You are going to be bald.

But Hank, it's okay for now. What you saw is actually it's the same camera angle that coaches get on the sidelines all the time, especially in college football. You can spot a college coach going bald 10 years before it actually happens.

Yeah, no, you're good right now.

You're good for now. You're good for a couple of years. But if you wanted to, maybe we could take a flight over to Turkey together.

I'm going to start. Yeah, I'm going to start trying to do some preemptive. There's people that have things that I can do now to maybe try and prevent this from happening. I'm probably going to stop wearing a hat as much. It was scary. I just sat there and stared for 30 minutes.

Okay, what about your mom's father? Had a hair?

I'm not sure. He was not He passed away before I was born. I can find out, but I don't think so.

Text, yeah, that's it right there. That's the jeans. That's how it works.

But I have the exact same hair as... I look exactly like my dad and me and my dad and my uncles all have the same style of hair.

But it doesn't matter. Make the text. Send the text. Ask if pop-up had a head of hair before he died.

My pop-up was a cue ball from the time he was at 40.

I'm actually pretty sure he did.

Oh, no. That's bad, Hank.

Yeah.

You will be bald.

The good news is that you can do something about it. If you take the finsteride drops and you take the Minoxidil or whatever, I'm acting like, Oh, maybe that's the name of it. I'm just trying to guess. For a guy like you, you can make that runway like six, seven years if you want.

Yeah, I'm going to start. I'm going to do everything. I'm going to do some research to everything I can.I.

Did read a study.It was...

I read a study.I can't be bald. I'm already... Yeah.

I read a study that said that it's directly related, like if When you have facial hair, it increases your balding because all your hair follicles are going to your face. You should probably just shave your beard. Yeah.

No, it's science. It's true. All the chemicals are your waste.

Your body's just using all of its energy for your chin. You need to redirect that. Think about this.

Well, if the Celtics win the Championship, I am going to shave my head, so maybe I'll get a taste of what that looks like.

Okay, so let's go back to the beard shaving because...

You could just shave it. I'm not doing that. And then leave it bald.

I probably won't be doing that either unless it's got overwhelmingly positive responses, which I don't think will-I'll be positive. You're a hater.

You already said you're a hater. Yeah, I am on some things. Not all things. I don't want you to go bald. Actually, That was a lie I do.

No, I don't. I absolutely do.

I really want you to go bald.

Once you get a taste of it, you don't want that on anybody else.

No. Yeah. Yeah, you know.

Well, I don't want you to go bald.

I mean, it's happening. It's a big difference. That's why I'm trying to-I'm rooting for you. I'm trying to recruit to get something done about it.

I'm down to go to Turkey.

That would be a fun voice trip.

We could just maybe hit up Erlacher.

What if I go with you guys and get a Brazilian butt lift?

Or you would be able to sit down.

Yeah. No, you got to take the plane back.

Yeah, you got to sit down face first in the seat on the way back.

Just get glowed up. That would be sick if we just got a shitload of plastic surgery.

Get our jaws chiseled. Oh, yeah. Get some Pec implants.

Okay. All right. New us. All right, PFT, your firefres. I don't think that's a firefres yet.

No, it is. See, Seeing that for the first time.

Everyone that I've talked to said it's not.

I wanted him to go bald. Do you fucking shut up? It is. You're fine, Hank. Just keep living your life how you're living it.

No hats. Don't even worry about it. No hats.

No cat.

It's a future you problem. That will never happen.

I don't buy the whole not wearing a baseball hat thing.

Do you think it's the steroids you're taking to try to dunk?

I have not got to that point yet. That would be a fall thing.

A great admission there.

Wait, Hank, you might have to stop golfing as much then if you're not wearing hats. Maybe you've golfed so that you've worn so many hats that it's rubbed your hair off.

I've just always been a hat guy.

Yeah, no more.

Okay. All right. My Firefest of the Week, I got a couple. Blake just turned one, so now I'm feeling old and nostalgic. I'm looking at a puppy picture and being like, Oh, damn, I really missed my puppy. I wish I had a puppy again. That's always sad, seeing your dog grow older. Obviously, he's not old at all. Yeah, he's one. He's one, but you missed the puppy.

I did your Instagram post you. I don't know if you did it intentionally or maybe had a moment of weakness, but you did the the journalist having a baby being like, new addition to the roster, thinking about giving him a second-year contract.

Second-year contract, yeah.

I don't know if it was a moment of weakness or was it- It was.

I was thinking, what would field Yates about the birthday of his child. So, yeah, intentionally do that. Actually, Blake's dealing with injury issues right now, so we're going to wait for his health reports to come back, and then there might be injury concerns, so we're holding on.

Yeah, you got to check the medicals.

Check the medicals first on him. He'll be fine. He'll actually be fine term. Not worried about it. My real Firefest of the Week, though, is... So I'm having a party at my house for the Kentucky Derby, and I sent an invite to the part of my take group chat last night. Silence. I replied. Silence from the group chat.

I replied about the other thing.

About the other thing. I think I was connected to the Kentucky Derby.

That counts as a reply.

Kentucky Derby. No one else replied. We have an unspoken bond, usually on this show, where we'll invite each other to do things. I know that Big Cat is going to be busy doing family stuff on weekends, but I'm still going to-I might try to pop by. I'm still going to invite him.

I might try to pop by, yeah.

Is it kids friendly? Yeah, kid friendly. Okay.

I might try to pop by.

Okay, but utter silence in the replies. Then I stared at my phone for two minutes afterwards. I can't see dots because it's a group chat and no replies. He's typing right now. If you guys don't want to come get hammered with me on Saturday, I understand.Rpod, what'd you say?

I'm off the sauce.

Did you just reply right now? Yeah. Okay, you just replied right now. Hank's off the sauce. Nobody wants to get drunk with me on Saturday, regrettably. But that's fine.

I'll try to defend everyone here. Usually, we're a week of guys. We got a whole other weekend before, so maybe that was what happened. Again, I did reply to the connected thing.

The connected thing, along with it.

I just counted as a reply.

That's fine. I guess I'm the- Everyone else is silent. I'm the only guy that likes to get drunk on this podcast. It's sad.

It's sad what it's been. I actually was thinking about it this morning, and I'm going to try to stop by. I just got to figure out which kid can handle it.

Yeah. Can my parents come?

Sure.

Do they have hair? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, bring them by.

Yeah, we'll check out your dad's hair.

Maybe we will.

Okay, Yeah, that's my fault.

Jake, Max, and Memes are still utterly silent.

I like beers.

Okay. Why didn't you reply?

It's not at P. F. E. E's.

I just missed that text.

Missed it. Got it.

I missed it, but I'm You're coming for some beers?

That's fine. There's a lot of other people coming. If you don't want to come, you don't have to.

No, don't shame me into this. I've gotten beers with you before.

You have gotten beers with me. So it's memes. I actually love getting drunk with memes. No, you don't. You hate it. No, I hate taking mushrooms. That's the worst. Getting drunk with memes is the best because he'll just sit there and he'll smile and he'll look at you. Just be memes. In my darkest 30 seconds after I sent that out and nothing came back, I was like, there's definitely a side chat where they're like, so we're all not going to PFT's house for this party, right?

Again, I did rely.

I'm not going to lie. I still don't know. I went back to try and look for this text. I don't remember this text. I thought I answered.

What time was-Meme thought he answered. Yeah, I answered.

This is the first I've heard of this. I have a bachelor party.

It might be next week or the weekend after. No, what? I might have a bachelor party, too, actually. You don't know when it is? It's one of the weekends of May.

Yeah, wait, which weekend is this again?

Next weekend.

Oh, no, I have a wedding. Okay. I I do have a wedding.

I'm going to try to come.

That's fine. It's going to be a hell of a party. Yeah.

I'll maybe try to dress up one of my kids. Would it be offensive to dress him up like a jockey?

As a horse?

No. I would think they would be the jockey. I'd be the horse.

Okay, yeah. Right? Or get a horse. Size difference? One's the front, one's the back.

We could do that. That'd be good, too. We could come up with something very fun. All right, My Firefest. Two, they're connected. It's similar to the passing of time. Pft, it's It's going to be May. It's actually after you sent that text, I was like, Oh, fuck, it's going to be May.

It's Justin Timberlake.

It's going to be May or Hank. We already taper the draft. We're going to be 40 really soon.

Yeah, it's true.

This year is flying by.

It's true. This is the last year that we have to get in shape.

Yeah, this is just a check-in. This is a check-in. We won't worry about it until maybe the fall, but it popped in my head and I was like, Shit.

Yeah. Do you have a list of things you want to do before your 40? We should make a list.

Yeah, Yeah, we should make a list. Let's do a bucket list this summer.

Get hair implants.

Shave Hank's beard.

Yeah, that's on there. Are you so obsessed with my beard?

Why are you so obsessed with your-You know why I'm so obsessed.

Hank, would you rather go completely bald or never be able to grow facial hair again? Because I know my answer.

Bold.

Yep, 100%.

I really want Max to go. I saw a picture of Max with the soul patch. I want to go back to that so bad.

I mean, just the look.

It's so fucking Oh, good.

Never again. Literally never again. The cheeks popped.

Max wearing a hat at softball is a strange visual. Oh, yeah.

Max, you say that you'd rather go bald as a guy that's got a full head of hair that will probably never go bald. You saying it doesn't really mean that much.

But I still mean it.

Yeah, I don't know.

My other Firefest is related to a passing of time, but we talked about Caleb Williams and the draft at the beginning of the show and how excited I am and how excited I am and how excited I am. A video interviewing my son today being like, You don't know how awesome everything's going to be, and that video could be bad for 10 years.

You could really be setting him up for failure.

Yeah, but it also could be sick. Imagine if Caleb wins five Super Bowl and I'm like, Hey, look, I have the video of the day he got drafted of us talking about it.

Yeah, he's always going to have that to look back on. He's going to blame you for getting him excited about this.

I might be getting ahead of myself.

No, it's fine. Everything's going to be so good for me and you.

I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's a player that he reminds me of.

Prince?

A little bit of a diva off the court, really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. It can't miss prospect. Travis Kelsey? No doubt, number one. Travis Kelsey? Ben Simmons.

Oh, no.

Ben Simmons was the next LeBron.

If Caleb Williams couldn't throw the ball, then yeah, that would be a direct correlation.

Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect.

No. No. Usc would have to the tournament if it was a 64-team tournament. Ben Simmons did not. That's fact or fiction. Ben Simmons did not make March Madness.

Caleb Williams did not make the final four.

Both teams missed the playoff. No. If there was expanded playoff, he would have made the playoff his first year at USC. That's a fact.

But he did it.

But that's because the playoff were just four teams, you idiot. You see what I'm saying? The March Madness could have been four teams, could have been 64 teams, could have been Five teams, Ben Simmons would have made it. Okay. What was that look to memes?

This is fine. What was that look to memes? I'm just saying, Ben Simmons. Think about it. Think about Ben Simmons.

I thought about it, and it bothers me. Okay? If I'm being honest with you, it bothered me very much.

Max, you're wearing your scars too deep, though. Not everyone's Philly.

No, yeah. I just remember the Sixers were so bad, and then it was like, Ben Simmons is coming, and I was like, Ben Simmons is going to be our Lord and savior, and he's... Cut his mic.

Did you just cut your own mic? No, I'm being honest with you, Max. If I thought it was a bad take, I wouldn't be bothered, but I'm bothered. So it's not the worst take.

I do like the Prince comparison, though. Yeah, because Prince was awesome. Because when I saw that, I was like, Prince is one of the greatest songwriters of my time.

It's like, Oh, yeah, he's Prince in a quarterback form. Okay, sign me up.

Pretty much just saying he's feminine.

Yeah. Okay, let's finish the show with numbers. We have special guests, Patrick and Mikaela, in the booth because they won the Coors Light. What did you guys win?

We won a chance to watch a taping with you guys.

Okay, but would you remember the contest? I got a Facebook or an Instagram ad.

I signed up one time.

Someone reached out, asked for my social security number.

I thought I was getting this I love it. All right, so this is good, though. It proves that when we run these contests, we actually do have winners. Patrick and Mikaela, thank you for being here. You guys, numbers, I'll let you guys start. Twenty-six. Twenty-six. Mikaela? You can pick a number. Any number. 17. 17. Oh, okay.

40.

That's a good number.

20. 3. 20.

I wish they had picked 20. I'll go 13 for Caleb Williams.

We should have texted him and been like, Hey, pick 20.

That was fine.

Where's Pug? No Pug?

Pug's at his desk. All right. He's in his crate.

He's already wanted 20. He's in his crate.

Thirteen for Caleb Williams. Patrick, you have what? 26. Kael has 17. Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Shut up, you Ben Simmons fat fuck. This is the best sign of all time on draft night.

What number is Oh, my God.

Bow to me. Bow to me.

What number is that?

That's number 13.

That's a lucky number. I thought it was a three.

I thought that was what showed it. That's 13. I mean, you guys are in shock and you're all so mad. Max is mad. Hank, you're mad. Are you mad?

I'm not mad. I'm mad.

You're mad because, Max, you said that you'd get it before me. Remember when you said you'd get it before me? I'm close. I'm close.

I got it before you. 20 might not be in there.

You fucking piece of shit.

20 might not be in there.

That's the second time I got it. Sad, Max took away my first time, and then he led me to this glorious moment on Kael Williams' draft day, 13 comes up.

That's huge.

That's a huge...

He's going to win a million Super Bowl. Are you at all concerned with the fact that you hit it on the most unlucky number of all time. No.

No, 13 is a lucky number. Thirteen is fucking a great number.

Listen, PFT, Hank, I have no beef with you guys here. I understand the stunt. This fucking fat fuck behind the glass who took away my first number because he's such a fucking baby and a cry baby loser.

That was me. I was just bringing to life what other people were saying.

What happened? I said, I will get the number before you do. And what did I do? What did I do, Max?

You got it. Yeah. Thank you.

Congrats. Congrats on 13.

I mean, Caleb Williams. That's the greatest sign of all time. That's the greatest sign of all time.

It was '76 when we did one with the Mr. Per live. Live pics this morning.

It doesn't count. So what is that?

Wait, you did it-It's good vibes for the Sixers tonight.

Did you get a good practice?

It was good vibes for the Sixers tonight. Did an extra ball?

No, we do one for the Mr. Per live streams.

Wait, so who- You should call the Paralympics.

Who has gotten it? Hank?

Me.

Me? Pug twice. Jake. Shane.

Is it just me and memes?

Max. I have not Max, have you ever gotten the number?

No. Why don't you ask PFT?

I was just asking you, Max, have you ever gotten the number?

No.

Just answer the question. No, I have not. Max, have you ever gotten this?

No.

Hank, do you want to ask him?

Why are you just asking me? This is not how this goes.

Yeah, this is how it goes. Pft is going to get it before you, too. Yeah, no, you're not allowed to just single me out.

Max, you have to understand the way this narrative is going right now. I'm definitely going to get it before you. Yes, you 100%. I know.

I don't think 20 is in there.

I got to check.

Yeah, that's loser talk. You're never going to get it.

This is exactly what Hank used to do. That's loser talk. He used to be like, Oh, that number's not in there.

Memes hasn't gotten in in either city yet.

Who cares? Ask the question.

You've gotten it, Max.

I got it in New York.

Not in Chicago.

No, you asked the question.

Have you ever gotten it here? No.

You sure? No, yeah, that's the answer.

Hank.

I mean, you're not even asking PFT.

He's going to get it.

He's going to get it. I'm not worried about it. For a fact, I'm going to get it, but I'm worried like, what if I don't get it? But I'm going to get it.

I'm sorry I react.

It would suck if I didn't, but I'm definitely going to get it before you.

I'm sorry I reacted that way. It was really 100% directed at Max. Just so you, PFT and Hank understand, that was not the bow to me was to Max because we can play back the tape when he said he's going to get it before me. I said, No way. I'm going to do it the hard way. What I do?

Fucking Caleb Williams.

What I do, Max? You got it. I already told you you got it. Have you gotten it? No.

Thank you. I already told you you got it. Thank you. We're just going in circles here.

Yeah, I know. I could do it forever. I would like to... Max, I have a meeting with you after. We need to talk.

Bfd, love you guys. Wait, wait, wait.

Bfd, you said- We have a meeting. You guys have a meeting in a second, and I'll let you guys get your meeting. Yeah. But before I say it, I just want to do a accounting of everybody in this room. Hank, you did get it.

I did get it. I was the first to get it. Okay.

You're not allowed to do this.

No, I'm He's dating Mark. Don't tell me that I'm not allowed.

He's allowed to do whatever he wants.

Jake's down here. He's got to update the list.

I'm putting it into the spreadsheet right now. Jake has got it. Okay, thank you. I was going to ask about that. Jake got it. Hank, you said that you have. I have. Big Cat, you have.

I have with Caleb Williams' number.

You got it with Caleb Williams' number. Okay, Pug, have you gotten it? Yes, Pug. Shane, have you gotten this? Shane got it. Max, have you gotten this? No.

Oh, so he's the only one.

I typed in yes. No, I have to. He's the only one. I thought you had, so I had to.

This isn't true.

This doesn't work when you lie.

Again, PFT will get it.

That's not how this works.

Yes, it is.

Max, ask me if I've got it.PFT, have you got it?Not yet. I'm about to. Yeah, not yet. No, Max, you said no nine times.

You want to do this again, Max? You want to do this again? Because I've already done it once with you. I told you I'd get it before you, and what happened? I got it. All right, so here's another one. Pft is going to get it before you. We'll see. Guaranteed. We'll see. Guaranteed. We'll see.

I don't know about memes, though.

No, memes doesn't count. I've already got to never get it. Yeah, memes doesn't count. It's going to be a Matt. Someone's going to have to fire up the Twitter account. Maybe repurpose the Hank. Has Hank gotten it? Has Max gotten it?

There's three people in here who haven't gotten it.

Pft will get it. I know. I said not yet. What about memes? This guy right here, my dear friend, long-time co-host, is one of the hardest working guys I know. He will get it. That's what he does.

I'm also not a loser anymore. Exactly.

Things have changed. He's probably We're going to get on Sunday night.

Yeah, I'm not a loser, okay? We're winners. We're not losers. On this side of the glass, we're fucking winners now. Everything about our lives is going to switch up in terms of a winning mentality, which you, sadly, do not understand.

Take your Ben Simmons shit and shove it up your ass.

Yeah, everybody reminds Max of a player that ended up not being as good as he thought. When you're a hammer, the entire world's a nail. Love you guys.

Patrick and Mikaela, did you enjoy that?

I'll be coming for your love, okay? I'll be coming for your love, okay? I'll be coming for your love, okay?