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On today's part of My Take, we have NFL Week Six recap fastest two minutes down. Go the undefeated teams. We get some interesting things coming out of an NFL Sunday, and we're going to do who's back of the week as well. And it's all brought to you by our friends at Max get into the game with Bleacher Reports sports Add on on Max stream, select live games from the MLB, postseason, NBA, NHL, US men's and women's soccer, and NCAA Men's March Madness. It's a front row seat to every thrilling moment, every amazing play, and every unbelievable highlight. Max is the one to watch for the best in entertainment streaming, 24/7 live news, and now live sports. Bleacher reports. Sports Add on included for a limited time with any Max subscription after the promotional period, add BR sports starting at 999 a month. Base subscription required. Max is the best. You got to go sign up right now. Don't clip that Max and say that I said that about you. Max is the one to watch for the best in entertainment streaming, 24/7 live news and now live sports with the BR sports add on included.

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Boy. Now in the street there is violence and a lot of work to be done no place to hang out or washing and then I can't blame all on the sun oh, no we got a rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher oh, we gonna rock down to Electric it's pardon.

My Take isn't about Marshall sport.

Welcome to pardon my take. Today is monday, October 16 week six.

That one felt good.

Brian Dable.

Tick, tick, tick. We start in London where the Ravens made the reverse pilgrimage over to England on the Zay flower as he scored a touchdown in the first half. The lads were playing so Muriel hogo bonito. Is that how you say it, teach?

It is the beautiful game.

The beautiful game. As Justin Tuckingham palace wiped a smile off Ryan Nottinghill's face on the way to six field goals. Patrick Queen Elizabeth wasn't dead after all, as he had nine tackles and a sack. Current Tottenham star Harry Kane was confused with the cheers as nine kicks went over the crossbar on purpose. The Ravens 24, the Titans 16.

Harry came my favorite spur back stateside where Ritter me this, Ritter me that. When you throw three interceptions, your coach's chins look fat. Sam Haliban made his triumphant return to Atlanta stand as Brian David Robinson performed Admiral LB in the backfield all Sunday. Kendall Roy Fuller looked like the eldest boy with his interception. And Logan Roy Thomas told Falcons fans, fuck off.

Fuck off.

You're not a serious quarterback. Come on, Desmond.

Fuck off.

Commanders 24, Falcons 16.

To the windy City, where Tyson it's badgeant, you know, came in relief of Justin Fields hey, teach.

Tyson badgent from German Shepherd university because he's got that dog in him.

Boom.

The Bears, driving late to try and.

Win met Byron Murphy's law as everything can go wrong will go wrong for these Chicago Bears. Hope you enjoyed last week's win. Matt Dweeber fluce, back to the locker for you. Vikings 19, Bears 13. You see, his name is Eberflus and we called him Dweeber flu.

He's a tweet.

Boom.

He's a dweeb. In sunny, sunny Florida where Andrew Price.

Clay was little boy blue he needed the money.

Oh, raheem toaster was making a lot.

Of bread cooking for the Panthers defense on the way to a couple touchdowns. After a slow start to a fast to a furious got the Dolphins offense rolling. And in a touching tribute to my good friend Paul Walker, tyreek Hill went so fast he hurt himself too soon. Broom chewbacca Hubbard summed up all Panthers fans feelings this season when he said dolphins 42, Patrick 21.

To Cincinnati, where Joe Burrow started out Ben Savage mode on the Seahawks defense, hitting Tyler Boyd meets world for an early touchdown. The second half was all defense as Mike one night in Paris Hilton used his night vision to pick off Gino Smith. And Trey, what can Brown do for you?

Return the favor with Burrow as time ticked.

Tick, tick, tick down. Gino Smith and Wesson wasn't able to pull the trigger on the comeback.

And the Bengals take down the Seahawks 1713 over to believeland where Brock Turdy laid a massive, massive sticker as the Browns did their best Taylor Swift impression and hopped in their PJ. Walker. That is Christian theology. McCaffrey left, miraculously returned, and then left again after moving the rock just a little bit, leaving everyone to argue pointlessly for years to come about what he would have done if he were still around. Campari cooper had some of his best receptions, leaving the 40 whiners with a bitter taste in their mouths. Jake Moody Blues had a wreck of the Edmund Miss Gerald, and that beautiful popping sound you hear is a 1972 Dolphins opening their champagne bottles. Or it could be Deshaun Watson's penis enjoying another week off playing football on Sundays. The Niners lows the Niners Lowe's in.

The Meadowlands, where if I had a million salas, I'd buy a real grass field as a turf monster captured a few more players today. The jets are zack in the saddle again as the young quarterback grows in confidence. Ray J. Brown was going deep, but Jalen Flirtz was being too friendly with the jets secondary, giving them the ball three times, the last time being the game changer as Breeze Lightning go. Breeze Lightning ran in untouched for the winning score. The jets win is a shot in the arm for their season, as injured quarterback Aaron Rogers was in attendance, making his millions of dollars a year to appear on podcasts and nothing else. Jets 20, Eagles 14. The jets eagles.

We head down to Tampa Bay where Amen Bra st brown contained a big TD as the Lions often said, take it golf, take it all, golf. Tampa should put the creamsicles back in the freezer because they're melting down. Once again. The Lions sealed the win when they took a very whiskey shot down field of Jameson and Baker. Mayfield of Dreams had a very costnery interception. Don't look now, but the Detroit Lions are five and one. The Lions are five and one.

The Lions won five games, and they only lost one game.

The lions 20 LeVox six.

For the first time this year, we're doing a Raiders recap, and we bring in our correspondence, Henry Lockwood, to give us the game.

Up to Sin City, where it was.

Master versus apprentice as Bill Belichekum faced off against Posh McDaniels. In the house that Mark Davis built. Jimmy Guappolo was balling like it was.

His first day out the feds as.

He iced out Jacoby Myers for a.

First quarter score before getting hurt.

Brian Sawyer anchored the Raiders offense for the rest of the 60 minutes and outlasted Max Spike Jones, who played like a real jackass all game, including a.

Fourth quarter safety that cost the Patriots.

The game and the COVID The 21, Patriots, 17.

That safety hurt you real bad.

Real bad.

Boom.

Standing on the corner, James Winston down in nola such a fine sight to see. It's that dude CJ. Throwing balls away. It's his first career int. Come on, Blake groupy, your kicks are loopy. And the Saints got sent home. Sorry. Just like blue pea. That fat fuck. Texans 20, Saints 13. And that is week six. Brought to you by our friends at Chevy. There's a new family with unstoppable grit, and they are the official partners of the Pardon My Take family, and that is the Chevy Silverado ZR Two family. The first ever Silverado heavy duty ZR Two, joins the franchise to make Chevy ZR Two the only truck brand with a full lineup of trucks ready for wherever your offroad adventures take you. With exclusive multimatic DSSV dampers, rugged, mud terrain tires, and up to 14 available camera views, the Chevy Silverado ZR Two and Silverado HD ZR Two, a family with commanding and unstoppable grit head to Chevy.com. Check out the Chevy Silverado and the family of Chevy ZR two S. The official trucks of pardon my take. Thank you to Chevy, our wonderful sponsor. The official trucks of pardon my take. Okay, week six in the books.

We are watching the fourth quarter of the Bills Giants. The Bills struggle mightily with the Giants. We will talk about this game after it concludes. But they have the Giants are playing, like, literally, Justin Pew off his couch. He said that as he started recurring guest Justin Pew. Good friend Justin Pew.

I would be so upset if I was a Giants fan and you know that your offensive line stinks going in this game. And then they do the starting lineups and one guy's like, yeah, I literally.

Wasn'T playing football, but I followed him for a long time. Awls. They remember. We did an exit interview with him as well.

We gave the first guest in New York.

Yeah.

We gave him an ant trap, a live ant trap. Great dude. And I think he was working in real estate in Arizona. He was tweeting about it. I think he had a podcast and they called him up. And he is on the Giants.

Yeah.

And doing an okay.

They're playing well tonight. The Giants are giving the bills. They're winning right now. They're up nine to seven. The Bills have the ball going in, but the Be, I think they're going to be kicking themselves over the end of the half. How that first half ended. Brian Dable forgot how time works.

Yeah.

And Tyrod, I think, also was part of the blame.

Yeah. So Brian Dable made it very clear to the cameras that it was not his fault that Tyrod ran the ball. I think he checked into a run, and unfortunately, the clock keeps running if you don't get in the end zone. But if you have a beast of an offensive line like the Giants, you have to try to run the ball, right?

Yes.

You got to play to your strengths. Just shove it down their throat. Okay. So we will recap once this game does go final. Let's talk some football, boys. It was a wild week in the NFL. We had our last two undefeated teams go down. But we will start with the London game. Ravens 24, Titans 16. It's not often that we're smart and we get things right, but goddamn, did we nail this game. The Titans came out and were absolutely asleep for the entire first half. The Ravens go up 15 at halftime. Titans mount a little bit of a comeback in the second half and the Ravens win the game. After the abysmal game against Pittsburgh last week, kind of right the ship and the Titans are left wondering, one Ryan Tannel gets hurt. So they're wondering, okay, is it going to be maybe Will levis time? They brought in Malik Willis. Had one of the dumbest plays I've ever seen in terms of situational awareness, where with a minute left on first and goal with no timeouts, they were down, what, two scores, and he actually tried to stay in bounds. He could have stepped out of bounds.

He tried to stay in bounds. Clock keeps running. He also got sacked four times. He was in for like a quarter and a half. And what the future of the Titans look like? Because they're at a crossroads now.

They also had like nine flags on that last possession, on that goal line. The series kept getting extended and extended. And then Willis made the dumbest play ever, drew penalty because his guy tried to throw a block in the back on that. They backed it up and then Variable was just like, fuck it, this isn't getting better. I'm just going to kick a field goal right now and hope for the had. I'm actually not ready to declare the Titans dead yet.

No, because Vrabel always will, finds a way.

The last time they started two and four, you know what they did? I think they made it all the way to the AFC Championship.

Yes.

So the Titans have a not unfavorable schedule coming up. They could still do something crazy. But I do think that Mike Frable's strategy of trying to pretend that time zones don't exist and just saying, fuck it, we're men, we're football players. We're not going to let the clock beat us. Well, the clock did kind of beat them. And the time zones also easily soundly defeated the Titans today. There was a very smart play that happened towards the end of the game by it was Roquan Smith. It was like, you see the compilations on YouTube of like 1000 IQ plays in the NFL that no one talks about. Roquan could have tackled their receiver that caught a pass in the middle of the field. He let him get up not to punch the ball out, but to let him tick like three or four more seconds off the clock so that after he tackled him, it ran down to the two minute warning.

I wish he was a true Raven. He's not.

He's not a Raven yet because he hasn't.

But he is a fucking really good football.

Baltimore football player Roquan Smith had the smartest player that day.

As for the am, I feel like the Ravens are in the Good have Not Figured Out how to be great category yet because this is as weird as it sounds. It was kind of similar to last week against Pittsburgh, where a lot of decent drives ending in field goals, not being able to step on a team's throat. Like, they were up 15 at half. They should have been up 25 plus.

Yeah, they're kicking a lot of field goals.

Yeah, they're kicking field goals. They're not finishing drives, and they're not stepping on letting teams just kind of linger around. So they're obviously a very good team, but they still have that killer instinct they need to find where they can just say, all right, we're going to step on your throat. Make sure that this game is a no doubter we win this game.

Yeah, they've got a tough schedule coming up, too. Ravens play a lot of good teams. But I want to make something very clear because a report came out this morning that the NFL is, quote, mulling over the idea of having a Super Bowl in London.

This is bullshit.

If that happens, we riot. If that happens, we riot. It's simple as that. If we have to play a Super Bowl in England, we get all of England back as part of the United States.

It's the Super Bowl. It's not the International Bowl. Super is for America. That's what we are. We are super. We made the only country that's able to make a league that is confined by our borders and call ourselves world champions.

Yeah.

That wasn't an invite to do the Super Bowl somewhere else. This made me we said it on Friday. They're trying to sneak us. I won't let them sneak us. I will let them sneak us because there's literally nothing we can do. And Roger Goodell could be like, hey, we're playing the Super Bowl. Like, the Saudis are now hosting the Super Bowl. Be like, Cool, we'll be there. Like, Media Row is going to probably be weird, but we'll fucking Washington Post.

Will not have a table over there.

Yeah, Hank, I just don't think they'll.

Do it because of the time.

They would adjust for the time.

They would figure it out.

They would play the game at like, I will protest.

They would play the game at, like.

09:00 p.m. 09:00 p.m. London time PFT.

What we got to do if they do this, we will protest by never changing our internal clock away from Central Time.

Agreed.

Because we will go to London. We'll probably have a great time, probably enjoy ourselves very much, but we will protest.

It's disgusting that they're even thinking about doing. At the very least, if you're going to put it in a different country, do it someplace warm that we can all go in February. That would be nice. But for Americans that watch football in their own time zones and like, the idea of a Super Bowl taking place here in the United States, which is all of us. Why are we going to let Europe just take that from us?

So I think this is a classic Roger Goodell bait and switch. We've seen it many times. He's actually an incredible negotiator when it comes to this stuff. You can say whatever you want about Roger Goodell, but very similar to Dickhead, the time when he banned touchdown celebrations and then gave them back to the players in negotiations, or was like, hey, you guys can smoke weed, but we're making sure that the franchise tag stays in place and all the owners get all the money. But yeah, you guys can smoke weed. We'll give that up. I think what he's doing here is he's floating it. It's a trial balloon. So then he can be like, all right, no Super Bowl in London. But the jaguars are in London. Yeah, that's what he's doing.

That sounds right to me. The weed one was so funny because I think it was actually we'll let you guys smoke pot. You just have to play one more game of football per year, right?

How's that?

Does I care about safety?

He puts something out there bad, then he just says, oh, you know what? I won't do that, but we are going to do this other bad thing.

Yeah, it's terrible.

Gotcha. And we're like, oh, thank God. No Super Bowl in London. Now we have to wake up every.

You know what deal he'll do? Two teams in sick.

I'm so sick of the morning, the London game, because it just isn't the same. Just I'm happy we get a break. I just want a break. You know what it does? It doesn't feel special.

It takes away all the excitement and the specialness of the 01:00 P.m. Kickoff.

Correct.

Because at 01:00 P.m., when they kick off, it's like, okay, football is happening right now, and you're so excited, you take a couple of seconds to soak it all in. But then if you're like, I've been watching football all morning in bed. It's just not the same. I hate it.

I hate it.

And goodell. If you put the Super Bowl over in London, I will boycott. I'm going to boycot the Pro Bowl. I'm going to boycot the Pro Bowl, and so should everybody else. That's as far as I can go.

I'm not going to go that far.

That's as far as I'm going to boycot.

Let's just boycott preseason week three.

The second half of preseason, week three.

Done. Okay, so you might lose. It is we we are the most helpless fans in the world because whatever they decide to do, we will consume. And we if they put the game on Mars at fucking three in the morning, I will be setting alarm to watch the Martian Bowl.

And aren't there some other challenges that go along with having a Super Bowl overseas? Like, some people don't have a passport. You remember Passport Day?

Yeah.

Remember that old argument that we had? Some players aren't allowed to travel internationally because of maybe a DUI on their record. That's a heads up, by the way, if you're doing, like, a bachelor party in Canada, make sure nobody in your crew has a DUI because they won't let you into Canada.

Yes.

My friends learned that the hard way. Not me personally.

Some people, like Hank are on the no fly list.

Yep. False.

I heard you're on the no fly.

I can fly anywhere.

You can?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Vacation. Either way, don't do it. NFL? Yeah, we don't want it.

You also don't want it. London also has a long way to go in terms of getting their sideline safety procedures set up and ready to go because Ryan Tannehill got hurt, and then he sat on the sidelines for, like, 20 minutes waiting for an injury card.

Yes.

They didn't have that going. That was very sad just watching him sit there and wait.

Do you agree with my assessment of the Ravens that I feel like they could be a potential Super Bowl contender, but they're not there yet? I need to see them step on some throats and not have what happened last week in Pittsburgh or even what the Titans flirted with this week. I need to see the Ravens start blowing some teams out that they're clearly better than that's always the Ravens.

Yeah. I was going to say, right now, where the Ravens are is exactly where the Ravens have been for, it feels like, the last ten years.

But they haven't won a Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Where they're good. They're a good team, the Ravens. It would not surprise me if the Ravens beat any team in the NFL, but it would shock me if they went to the Super Bowl.

Yeah.

I mean, their defense is very good. What? London, three and O. London, three and congratulations, you fucking thief of joy.

It's so funny watching British fans go nuts over field goals, too. They were having the time of their life over, like, every field goal. They're like, oh, I can't believe nine of them. It's incredible.

Nine of them.

Yeah.

Nine field goals.

So many fields.

You got your feel?

Yeah.

All right, next game. Bengals, Seahawks, bengals 17, Seahawks 13. Hank, don't shake your head. What are you shaking your head for? I just like to say, don't shake your head, like Jim Calhoun, but what are you shaking your head for?

I'm sure you get into it. The Seahawks choked this game away.

This was actually yeah, the Seahawks. So it's kind of which side you're looking at it from. Like, if you're the Seahawks, like, man, we should have won that game. And you could make the argument they should have. They had 24 to 15 1st downs. They had 381 yards to the Bengals 214. But the Bengals defense also stood up and won that game for them in the second half because it was basically the Bengals showed up, played great for two drives, they had a touchdown drive, 13 plays, 69 yards, touchdown, seven plays, 73 yards, touchdown. Then the rest of the game, they had 33 plays for a total of 87 yards. Yeah, they just completely like it went back to week one, Bengals on offense. But the Bengals defense was lights out at the end because the Seahawks went like they actually went very similar, where they had first and goal from the four field goal, first and goal from the five interception, first and goal from the seven turnover on downs, first and ten from the eleven turnover on downs. They were in the red zone five times, and they got one field goal out of it in the last five trips, they went down.

Yes, the red zone. That's the difference maker. Three points. Either you had five trips, they scored.

A touchdown, then their next four trips.

They had one in the second half, they were in there four times and got three points out of it, which Carol needs to start calling the red area. He calls it the red zone. As football guys, we know that if you're a football coach that knows what he's talking about, you just call it the red area, and it sounds a.

Lot cooler, and it sounds like something that you can attack lot better.

Yeah, attack the red area.

Yeah. Shout out to play in the red area.

Andre Yoshivash. Okay, he got his first career touchdown today. I saw that Joe Burrow ran, sprinted to the end zone. That's how you know that his calf is doing good. I haven't seen that kind of mobility out of Joe in a long time. Sprinted to the end zone, picked up the ball, ran it back to the sidelines, gave it to him. It was also his birthday. He got a birthday touchdown today. And then Burrow said the classic thing after the game, I'm not going to apologize for winning. Yeah, don't apologize for that.

Was I really do think that if you're a Bengals fan, it's a little bit disconcerting that the offense still looks as bad as it did for the last three quarters. But the good news is the defense looks like it's back to the defense that got you guys to a Super Bowl a couple of years ago, got you to the AFC Championship last year, and weirdly for the Seahawks, I just think the Seahawks are a really good team. They have to obviously fix their red zone offense, but they shut down the Bengals in the second half. Their defense is young and awesome, and I didn't walk away being like, man, the Seahawks, they're not that good. They should have won that game. But I really do think the Seahawks.

Are a very good, very, like, offensively they need to get the ball in the end zone, but if you just look at stats, they move the ball in offense. DK Metcalf was being a bully again today. I like it when DK does that. When he does something absolutely absurd and draws a personal foul penalty for it. I like that get him involved, because I feel like the secondary guy that just gets his shit pushed in is going to be thinking about that for the rest of the game.

It's also great because every time it happens, it will be the wide angle, like the all 22 angle, and it will zoom in, be like, and this happened after the play. It's like, oh, DK lost his mind again.

Yeah.

And DK, you know exactly what's going to happen.

DK looks so big on the all 22. Also, compared to everybody else, he's a monster. He's gotten bigger, I think.

I think so, too.

I think DK has put on, like, 20 pounds of muscle.

Jake Bobo is my favorite guy's name.

That's good guy, Jake Bobo. He had a great catch today where he got rocked and then he just stood up immediately. I would die. I actually think I would be dead if I took that hit.

It also is one of my favorite little things about football. It's like when you know, relationship for a really long time, like, oh, I like the smell, or this little cute thing you do whenever there's a big hit and all three flags come in simultaneously. I just kind of chuckle. I'm like, that was nice.

Refs all on the same page.

Yeah, right? And it just feels like a more significant flag when all three flags show up at the same time.

If you're a ref and you don't throw your flag when the three flags land at the same time, you got to get that sucker out and fire it in there, too. Just like, join the party.

Yeah.

It's like, I saw two guys. I saw two we should save that.

For Mount Rushmore next year. Just little quirks about football that we love, that we just think about in those long summer days.

I mean, the sound of a goalpost getting hit by football. That's a good sound.

Usually the touchback.

Oh, the touchback signback signal.

Yeah, that's always sick.

Shout out to the Legion of Spoon. They were out for blood today. Dream bet hit. So here's some stats about Jamar Chase. He had four catches, 60 yards on the first two drives, and then two catches for 20 yards for the rest of the game. And he also debuted a website today.

Really?

Yes, he did. He had this plan going into this game, so he thought he was going to have a big game. It's isjamaropen.com go to Isjamaropen.com right now. Check out what it says. It says yes.

I love it.

But today not that great of a game. He only had 80 yards, which is a lot of yards, but he did absolutely nothing in the.

Second half. Well, the entire offense did nothing. The 711 chain is awesome as well.

It was very cool.

He's wearing a 711 chain. But, yeah, if you're a Bengals fan, it's kind of crazy that you're sitting here three and three, and it feels like you have been through hell this year in terms of your team. Just never, like the Bengals have not submitted an A plus game. Not even close. And now they have their gauntlet of the 49 ers and Bills back to back. I think they get a by week here, but at least you're three and three. And these next two games, 49 ers Bills. Like, if you can split those, you'll feel good.

Yeah.

I think that's where you're at.

Yeah.

You got to just position yourself for a late season run. Just hope you're going to catch fire, get healthy.

Late season run. And I think that the Seahawks are going to be a team that is definitely in the mix season. All right, so the Bills look like they might have sealed this game.

Oh, no.

There's a fourth and eight. Anything else on this? Fun. It's a fun color game, too. I just like seeing the Seahawks in stadiums you don't really see them in very often. I don't know why.

Yeah.

Playing against the Bengals. You don't really I don't.

Dolphins and the Giants.

Yeah.

Conference math.

Never played.

Dolphins. Panthers.

Yeah. Fun.

It's just fun to see. That was crazy. Okay, next game. Browns, 1949, ers, 17. The first shocker of the day. The 49 ers have lost their first game. Brock Purdy has lost his first regular season game. The 49 ers look mortal for an afternoon. And the Browns, basically, with PJ walker playing, summon up enough defense Jim Schwartz. Shout out Jim Schwartz to stifle the 49 ers, make them look mortal. And you have their kicker that they drafted in the third round, miss a what was it, like a 40 yarder.

I think it's 40, 41.

Yeah.

So the Browns, their roller coaster season continues. They go, win, loss, win, loss, win. And every game is just like, what the fuck just happened? I don't know what to think of the Browns. But that was an insane defensive effort by the Browns, and they deserve that win.

I got a question for you, big cat. Do you think that the Cleveland Browns are better without Deshaun Watson, Nick Chubb, and Joel Batonio?

They might be.

They might be. And you had a lot of people talking about the 49 ers being super injured today. Well, the Browns, they got you beat when it comes to major injuries, I would say yes. Christian McCaffrey went out. I don't think it's serious. It was an oblique, which is like.

Your side, and so did Debo.

And Debo went out, too. There was a fight before the game, which I think that always favors the underdog.

Yes.

If there's a fight before the game and then there's a very funny video of Trent Williams stepping in and immediately the fight's over. It's like, okay, yeah, we don't want we can call this, right?

We're good, by the way. So this is an interesting twist that I want to take you guys on real quick. I don't think you're going to expect what I'm going to say next because I didn't expect to find out what I found out next. On Friday. I gave you guys the stat, Jim Schwartz versus Kyle Shanahan. Jim Schwartz gets the best of him every single time. Kyle Shanahan is now one in nine verse Jim Schwartz, and he has only scored over 20 points a single time. Now, if you remember, that stat came from a San Francisco 49 Ers beat writer named Jack Hammer. And we talked about how sick his name good names. I went to look up Jack Hammer because I thought he was maybe going to update it. I found something out that's very interesting that happened between Friday and today. I'll read this. This is from the Press Democrat to our readers. This morning I learned that Jack Hammer, whose work as a freelance blogger covering the San Francisco 49 Ers has appeared in the Press Democrats since July 2021, had pleaded no contest to a felony child sex charge 18 years ago and was sentenced to 60 days of work release.

We have terminated his service effective immediately. The incident, which involved a 17 year old girl, occurred when Hammer, whose real name is Jeff Patterson, was a high school football coach and math teacher in Morgan Hill in the South Bay. In addition to his work release sentence, he served five years of probation and had his teaching certificate permanently revoked. He was not required to register as a sex offender. As a freelancer, Patterson did not represent the Press Democrat in a professional capacity. As an independent contractor, he was not an employee and therefore was not subject to our employee background check process. So I went to look up this guy on Sunday night and he had deleted all his Twitter and it was basically all the news in the 49 Ers, like fan circles, being like, this guy is a fake guy who was a sex predator.

So a couple of things. One, I'm crazy. If you're going to try to fly under the radar, one, choose a different name besides Jack Hammer. Is that's going to make you stand out too hard? Also, this is a case of having a stat that was too good.

Yeah, his stat was too good.

His stat was so good that people found out that he was a sex offender.

Never make a stat that is so good that it catches the eyes of everyone and they're like, oh my God, this Jack Hammer guy.

No, if you're a sex offender, all your stats should be things that nobody cares about. Like Darren ravell.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. That's interesting.

No, I'm saying he's well, yeah, no.

I did not say that. I also didn't.

I'm just saying I did not say that.

I did not. But yeah, Jack Hammer, that would imply.

That he would have had to have.

Sex at some really an all time twist to basically doing our research on Sunday afternoon. And I look up to credit this guy and all I see is so I see that scumbag jack Hammer deleted his Twitter. His real name is Jeff Patterson is like, what the fuck is going on here? So, yeah, a twist on an incredible stat. One of the best stats we've had all year that basically says that Kyle Shanahan has a lot of trouble with Jim Schwartz defenses. And what did we see on Sunday? Jim Schwartz put Kyle Shanahan in a box like Brock Purdy looked bad. He looked bad.

It also says something about the newspaper's hiring practices where it just takes somebody submitting an obviously fake name and then they scoot by and nobody looks into their past.

Yeah, I mean, he was an independent contractor, but yeah, that was quite not what I expected when I went to look for that stat.

Again, I have a perfectly average stat that nobody will ever think that I'm hiding anything for, but it's an interesting stat nonetheless. The Browns have given up 1002 yards through five games this season. Five games. Just over 1000 yards. Hank, how many yards is that per game?

250.25.

200.25, right?

Yeah.

You were close. You were close. I actually was doing the same thing in my head as you were doing in your head. We're not smart.

You were doing four instead of five. I did that too. Yeah.

Because it's very fun when someone's like 1000 divided by four.

It's like 40, easy.

250.

Yeah.

Wait, so it's 1000 divided by five.

That's 200.

That's 200.

Yeah.

That's 200. Correct. That's the fewest any NFL team has given up through five games in over 50 years.

That's crazy.

So the Browns defense, like, the Browns are really good.

Yeah, their defense is really good.

With a defense like that, you don't need Deshaun to be deshaun from like, five years ago. You just need Deshaun to be slightly above average.

Yeah, they're really good. And their two losses, they did get killed by the Ravens. The Ravens did figure out the Browns defense because they put up 300 yards on them. But the Steelers game, remember the Steelers game? The Browns defense did everything they could. It was the fact that the Browns offense kept turning the ball over. Yeah, the Browns are really good. And if Deshaun Watson could come back and be decent. Yeah, they're a really good football team. I guess if you're the 49 ers, you're happy that you get the loss out of the way, kind of bring you back down to earth. And you're also happy that Jim Schwartz coaches in the AFC.

Yeah.

And you can also blame the refs for this one. Yeah, you always have that in your back pocket.

Insane amount of flags in this.

There were crazy flags.

There was, like, 200 plus yards of penalties.

There was a PJ. Walker fumble that was ruled an incomplete pass. That I still have no idea how they ruled that to be a fumble was crazy. It made zero sense. There was a chain measurement that people were complaining about, too, which every time this happens, when there's, like, a very close first down, they bring the chains out. People are like, Why are we using chains and sticks to measure first downs? I actually like the chains and sticks. I like the chains and sticks. I like that. This is a multibillion dollar organization that still brings out shit that you can buy at Home Depot for, like, $30 to do their official measurements.

It rules. And there's also a very fun feeling of, like, OOH, Willy Won't. He. That final extension. Yeah, it's drama. There was a total of 25 penalties for 224 yards. That's insane. The Bills are trying to kick a field goal and he missed it. So now a lot of missed kicks now. Yeah, that was his second missed kick. Now the Giants could go win this game. That's insane.

The Giants might be back for a game. Tyrod Taylor, baby. Revenge game cover.

Yeah.

Tyrod Taylor. Tigod. This is Jake Bass having a real tough night. Is there even wind?

Jake Bass?

Jake Bass is our coworker. Tyler. Oh, miles Garrett, by the way, is a monster. 15 snaps against Trent Williams. I think Trent Williams is a little banged up, but still, he had four QB pressures on 15 snaps.

That's pretty good.

Against Trent Williams.

Pretty good.

Also, Kareem Hunt is back for niners.

Good. You like to see good guys playing well to the Niners fans out there. You'll be fine. The niners will be fine. You don't have to play shorts again until the Super Bowl.

Well, you will be fine. But this is what we were talking about a couple of weeks ago. It's basically every game. You're just hoping you don't get injuries. Yeah, because Christopher McCaffrey got hurt and Debo got hurt and Trent Williams got banged up. Like, you're just hoping you don't get injured.

Let me ask you this. If the Niners make the Super Bowl and the Browns Browns don't, is there anything against the rules to a team hiring Jim Schwartz as, like, a consultant.

Just for the Super Bowl? If his team's not in the Super Bowl, wouldn't he be a free agent?

Probably.

I guess his contract is maybe you loan him out if you're the Browns for lateral moves. You couldn't yeah, you need to get Jim Schwartz. He's got, for some reason, Kyle Shanahan the best play caller in the NFL. Jim Schwartz got his fucking number.

Yeah.

Like, if it's the Bills going up against the 49 ers, if I'm the Bills, like, swap 7th round picks with the Browns just to get Jim Schwartz on your staff for those two weeks.

Yeah, I agree. Why not? Why not? Okay. Did I have anything else? Oh, first win. Browns win against a team five and or better. That's kind of a cool stat. That is cool, but also makes sense because it is the Browns. Oh, I had one last thing. Kyle Shanahan. So the 49 Ers have been killing everyone, so we haven't had to have Kyle Shanahan late game coaching. Turns out he's still kind of dumb. So the two moments he did the opposites, he was aggressive, and then he wasn't aggressive. So with three minutes left and they were up 1716, they got the ball with three minutes left. They could have just run the ball, run clock. He passes it three times, three and out, has to punt it back for the Browns. And then when they're on their drive to win the game, he has first and ten at the 26 with a timeout in his pocket in about 50 seconds left. And he goes straight into kneel down to kick the field goal. Not trying to get any closer. Just insane. You were aggressive in one moment, and then you completely turtled in the other.

So if I were Kyle Shanahan, I would put myself into more close games in late game situations just to simulate just to simulate it. Yeah, I'd prepare for the playoffs.

I'd agree. Hank, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just trying to watch this game. I'm blocked.

You're blocked?

Yeah.

You keep moving your head, and I'm like, what's going on?

Trying to see the time.

It's a minute left, so, yeah, I don't know. Kyle Shanahan late games. He needs someone else.

You know what he needs? Kyle Shanahan needs to be in late game situations against Mike McCarthy. Then he's fine. Yeah, then he's fine. But when he's coaching against a smart coach, he's like I think he gets.

Flashbacks or just blow everyone out.

Bad flashbacks.

Blow everyone out and you don't have to worry about yep. Okay, we'll take a quick break, and then we'll get to some more games with our friends at the Official Beer. Pardon my take. You know that when you're in need of some chill fall vibes, there are so many great options, from college football games to Halloween costume parties to chilling on the deck and watching leaves fall. There's always a way to turn off and hit reset for those moments when you need to. Soak in the season, reach for a Coors Light. It's made to chill. There's only one beer that's out there that's literally made to chill, and that's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill. When you need to hit reset, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold. Refreshment. Made to chill. Coors Light is the one I choose when I need to unwind. So when you want to hit reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with drizzly or instacart by going to celebrate responsibly coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado coorslite.com take the best beer in the world.

The coldest beer in the world. Coors Light. Hank, did you bet the Giants?

No.

The way your head's moving. Can you zoom in on his head moving? Memes? He's just like you look like a cat going after a laser. Laser point.

Looking at the TV, I can't see.

The clock, so I'm just 28 seconds left.

Giants could use those three points right now.

I like some Sunday night excitement.

Yeah.

From the first half. Yeah, they absolutely could feel glory. They really could use those three points very much. Unbelievable. Great call.

Did Brian Dable have a party last night? Check and see.

I'm not going to report on that.

High rod and no. What? Memes love that.

No, we just zoomed in on, like, Hank's eyeballs.

Hank eyeballs? Yeah, he's going crazy. Like it's unsettling.

All right.

Sorry.

Chill. No, I want you to be able to see it. I'll call out the time for you. Okay, thank you. 22 seconds.

Fourth and game is what you're doing.

Fourth and game.

Fourth and game. Here we go.

Match.

Giants should always wear these uniforms, by the way.

They do look so much better.

And Tarad. Five down. Got a clock.

Much time. 1516.

Run it. Run it. 13.

I hope they do well. Hank eleven.

Hank. Ten.

Nine.

Clocked.

Two shots.

Two shots.

Hank two shots.

No timeout.

Just love football.

Oh, you love football again?

Yeah.

I thought you said what was the exact quote? I don't love football like that. I don't like ball like that. Okay, I guess we can watch this last play before we get well, let's just tee it up. The commanders are back. Commanders 24, Falcons 16. Congrats PFT soupy back on.

No, we won the mid off today.

Okay?

This was a mid off. You knew it was a mid off going into it, but we didn't have to win. Our defense looked okay, but when we blitz, it turns out that we create a lot of pressure and we pressure the opposing quarterback into making mistakes. It was nice to see Del Rio do that a little bit. The Commanders are officially the streak breakers of the NFL. Streak breaking kings of the NFL. This was a 31 game home winning streak for Desmond Ritter that was snapped. Today goes back actually even further than that, all the way till he was like a junior in high school. First team to beat him at home. We beat the Ravens when they had their 24 game playoff streak. Not playoff preseason streak. We beat them earlier this year. The Bears had a 14 game losing streak. They broke that. The Commanders broke that last week. And before this, the Bears broke that. The commanders broke the Bears losing streak.

Yeah, but we took that win.

Anyway.

Have one win.

It's all about perspective.

I cherish that win.

Yeah, you broke your own streak, you could say. But also, the Commanders helped Tyrod run.

Is out of bounds, 2 seconds. Okay.

Also, we broke the Eagles eight and o streak last year. They were undefeated till we played them. And then in 2020, the worst eleven and O team of all time, the Steelers. We broke that streak as well.

Wow.

The Commanders just seem like streak breakers.

Yeah, they are streak breakers.

Sam looked pretty good today. Now, Falcons fans, congratulations. You had, like, a decent offensive day, 402 yards. Washington had 193 yards. You guys had 43 minutes of possession. The Commanders had 17 minutes of possession, and The Commanders still won the game. So we won ugly today.

Turns out where you start the drives matters, because the Commanders three touchdown drives were started from the Atlanta Eleven. That was off the punt return, the Washington 48 and the Atlanta 27. But that also is because your defense balled out, and Desmond Ritter listen, we love our guy, Arthur Smith. He's been doing great in the face department. Desmond Ritter was so bad today, he brought back Arthur Smith's chins.

Well, Arthur Smith is an all time reaction guy. Yeah, that's what I've noticed. The mustache.

He helped one with his, like, fist in his face.

He did a fist to the face. He punched himself in the face. He had, like, some genuinely shocked moments when Ritter threw an interception.

Well, the interception in the end zone.

Was genuinely, like it was surprising.

The only way that pass made sense is if there was a pre snap penalty and they were whistling it and like that. You could see that happening. There was not. It was just one of the worst interceptions we've ever seen. All right, here. Let's play the game Tyrod.

This is game tyrod for game.

No flag. And the flag comes in.

Wow.

Wow.

So they're going to have one untimed down at the 1 YD line.

Run it.

Run it.

Do that same play you did in the first half. Do it. Big Cat, you were talking about the defense looking better. I have a reason why the defense looked better. Besides the blitzing, emmanuel Forbes didn't play at all today. First round pick, and he's been getting burned by everybody. So the defense did look better. This is like a sit and learn game for Emmanuel Forbes. It's like you're not ready yet. We're going to send you back down to the minors for a game. I am sick of seeing Ron Rivera on the sidelines. I'm sick of it. I saw him nine times today off of a win. Nine times today. He didn't say a word. He's like Jim Caldwell. He has this look on his face like he's a dad on the front. Porch. And there's a party across the street. And he's trying to figure out if you should call 911 on him. It's infuriating to watch. And this is off of a win. Touch rod incomplete pass. No flag.

No flag that time. You know what? That was smart by the defense because there was no way they were going to flag it again.

Yeah. Wow.

No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.

Don't apologize for winning.

I mean Ty. God gutsy performance. Like the Giants. Yeah, that was a gutsy performance.

It would have been nice to have those three points.

It would have been very nice to have those three points. But the bills escape. That was an ugly, ugly Sunday night football game.

Yeah.

Good for the Giants.

Yeah.

The Giants didn't roll over.

No, they played as tough as you can. And the Bills looked the Bills are so weird because it's almost instant where.

You can see, wait, Dable is claiming something. What are you.

I think I'm just going to reserve. I'm going to tell myself I'm just going to bet the Bills live now from now on. Because you can almost tell right away. Oh, wow. That was a big time pi. That was a lot of jersey.

Oh, yeah.

He couldn't even put his hand up. You can tell right away if the Bills like they have these games where they just look almost like the whole team is concussed.

The Bills can't fix themselves in the middle of a game.

Right.

That's the problem. Sometimes they get off the bus and they're ready to go. And then other times they can't adjust to it. What's Dable going to do? He held one finger up like, wait.

Yeah.

He was like, wait, just a minute here.

Hold on. I would like to have a word with the manager. That was a lot of that energy coming out of Dable. Please let me talk to someone who's in charge. That was a lot of jersey there.

But big Cat, have you ever been in a place where you're just sick of looking at your coach on the sidelines? Because that's where I'm at with Ron Rivera.

Yeah.

I don't know what he does during a game.

Yeah.

Matt Eberflus for the last year, he.

Hasn'T done anything during a game. I would like to see him yelling at somebody. I would like to see him cheering somebody on. I'd like to see him getting in the ref's face about something. He just kind of stands there stern. He just looks like a father figure on the sidelines. I don't know what else he does.

Yeah.

It's infuriating. And yeah, I think the commanders kind of fix themselves for one game. We'll see what happens next week. I don't even know who they, uh but the big oh, OK. So that should be another fix yourself game. Should be. The big story out of this is the Atlanta Falcons are good enough to go to the playoffs with any quarterback not named Desmond Ruder.

Have you seen their schedule? It's easy. Yeah, it's very easy.

Taylor Heinecke wins today's game, the Falcons.

Could legitimately still make the playoffs. I'm not writing the Falcons off.

Well, yeah, the south sucks. Everyone in the south lost.

The south stinks. And even their games that are against teams that aren't in the south are mostly winnable.

It's so bad because the interceptions were bad, but he also just missing guys. They had a timeout after a spike, which, I don't know if that's the play calling come in, but their defense is good. They have a lot of really good skill position players. Ritter just completely like you can't if you got a B minus today, the Falcons win that game.

I think the timeout after the spike was because they were trying to draw off sides.

Okay.

And they didn't get it. So they called a timeout, which is my second least favorite timeout in the world. My least favorite timeout is the think it over timeout. We're going to take a timeout here to think about whether or not we.

Should go for it or not.

And then you end up kicking it. Yeah, that's my least favorite timeout.

That is the worst timeout by far.

But yeah.

Desmond Ritter? I don't know. You got to change it. When's their bye week?

I don't know.

Taylor Heinecke wins that game today. Do you not agree?

Oh, yeah, 100%. Taylor heineckey would throw two interceptions for sure, but he would have gotten you.

In the end zone.

He'd also throw like two or three touchdown passes. Kyle Pitts was there today, week eleven. Kyle Pitts was alive today. Yeah, that was good.

Touchdown.

Kyle Pitts looked good. Drake London looked pretty good, too. So they're doing some good things on offense. The running game wasn't really cooking like it had been in the past, but still. Yeah, the Falcons are good enough. They're good enough to make the playoffs for sure.

Yeah.

And they're wasting it with Desmond Ritter. Got to fix that.

So I'm not thinking soup anymore, but yops are in the conversation.

Yeah, absolutely.

They should be.

Absolutely. The NFC is going to be wide open to me right now in the NFC. It's Eagles. It's eagles, niners lions. This isn't any order. Lions fans, we'll get to you later. You are the best team in the NFC right now. Seahawks, Cowboys, and then those last two spots, which one of them will be the NFC South? But like the 7th spot is going to be wide open. There are a lot of teams that could be in that conversation. Speaking of which, next game, vikings 19, Bears 13. I mean, the bears stink. I don't know what to say. Justin Fields took another step back, then got hurt. Vikings, I was looking at it, they might have saved their season today because they play the niners next week, which is going to be a tough game, but they have a nice little, like, seven game stretch where they can win any of those games. And two and four is just such a different feeling than one and five. They can string together a couple games, they're right back in that, hey, maybe we make the playoffs. Seven seed. I still don't think the Vikings are very good.

The Bears defense made them look average. I know Justin Jefferson changes everything, and the Bears defense deserves a lot of credit. But yeah, the Bears offense went back to same old ways. Justin Fields looked lost. Bad performance. Tyson Badgent. Who I know there's a lot of people who are like, who the fuck is that? He's been the talk of the town since preseason because he made the roster. He's from Shepherd University. Broke all types of records in Division Two. There's no one who's more popular in Chicago than the backup quarterback. So everyone knew who he was. He comes in fumble, fumble, score, nice touchdown drive, interception. That's the Tyson Badgen experience.

So he's a gamer. I can just tell by fast he's a gamer. And if you don't know what Shepherd University is I grew up not too far from Shepherd University. I had a lot of friends that went to Shepherd University. All of them went to Shepherd University after they failed out of West Virginia. So when you fail out of West Virginia, you stop at shepherd for like six months. You do one semester, and then you're like, yeah, fuck college. It's not really for me. It's a halfway home that transitions you from West Virginia to the real world. And this guy is playing in NFL games, and he didn't look bad when he was throwing those passes. Like, when he gets the ball out, it looks nice.

Gets the ball out fast.

It's good to see, like, Justin Fields. You watch his dropbacks long.

It's, uh this was the game. The Vikings defense. Stinks. You expected, hopefully, to have the last two games carry over to this game. Justin Fields looked, you know yeah, he got injured, but he was bad before he got injured.

Yeah, he was.

I'm going to call it like I see it. I'm still hoping I was having this conversation the other day. It's not that I'm trying to delude myself into being like Justin Fields. To say, I see the flashes, and life would be so much easier if he was just awesome.

It would rock.

Because, again, we're six weeks. We're a third of the way through the season. The Bears currently are sitting with number one and the number two pick. That is official right now. If the season ends today, they have the number one, number two pick. If you had your franchise quarterback, that would be like the greatest spot a franchise ever been in. So, yeah, I'm a little bit willing it to try to be into existence. And today it was another. Step back. Not good, especially if he's injured and he's out for a while.

Yeah, he had a dislocated thumb that he popped back into place himself, which I think that's the one injury in the NFL that happens pretty frequently that would make anybody else faint on the spot, happen to them. Like people dislocate their fingers and they pop them back into place. Then they keep playing in these games. And if I dislocate my finger, I would actually pass out.

I would just be standing going, hospital, hospital, someone hospital.

Yeah, I would go to the hospital and I would stay there for like, three extra days. I'd be like, just make sure it doesn't walk. Yeah, I'm not going to touch anything.

I'd be afraid you dislocated your thumb. It's not your feet.

I'd be afraid to pick anything up ever for the rest of my life.

I would be bedridden.

I can't write. No.

Can you please hold my phone in front of my face for me? I'm scared to scroll.

I wouldn't eat my own food. I'd be drinking smoothies because that way I can just use a straw and suck all my food down.

Yeah, I would be extra.

The real credit to this win should go to Creed, the band Creed because Kirk Cousins started listening to Creed with the team this week. It was like their theme song because the Rangers listen to a lot of Creed the baseball Rangers listen to, so so Kirk Cousins brought out the big guns and they were blasting higher on the stereo before practices, before today's game. And Cousins said they've got quite a catalog. We started with higher this week. We didn't want to overstep our bounds. So just higher next week, maybe we can see what we can go to from there. So Creed might be the key to turning around the season for the Vikings.

Also Danielle Hunter, who's still very good.

But mostly Creed. But mostly Scott STAP.

If they lose, I don't know what they're going to do if they lose the Niners, because they probably will lose the niners.

Right.

You would imagine.

And then do you start trying to trade? I don't know. Because Danielle Hunter is a guy who would get you some picks back, and he's still very good at football.

So Cousins apparently is not getting traded. That's the word.

Now.

He doesn't want to pack up and move, but we'll see. If the Vikings continue to just if they stink for the next four or five games, then you'll be getting some calls. Like teams are going to ask about.

Again, Kirk Cousins on the Falcons, like they would be a playoff team.

Can you imagine that? If they offered him, like, a massive extension, he'd have to say yes to that trade. Right.

I don't think they would offer him a massive extension.

Any way you slice it, I think Kirk Cousins is going to end up making over $300 million.

Yeah.

Which is wild. He's won at the game of football. Yeah, he has won at the game of football. The good news is for the Bears, I went into today's game being like, oh, if we win this game, raiders next week, who knows? Could be three and four. The minute that shit went south and Justin Fields got hurt and he looked like crap and they lost the game, just flip right back to Tank. That was great.

Yeah.

It's actually a really nice that crossroads. This is probably the last week I could have done it because now I can't pretend that next week if they win OOH two and five, who knows what's going to happen? This was the final where you can go into a game hoping to win, and then when you lose saying to yourself, actually, that's exactly what we want to do.

Ha.

It was all a bit so it was nice. It was the final game of that, which it's kind of nice to have that in your back pocket. It's fun. Football enjoying situation when you can essentially suck so bad they can be like, ha, jokes on you.

That was a bit it's good. Thank you for kicking my ass, idiot.

Yeah.

And then if we win, be like, Bears are back.

Yeah.

I can't believe you just lost to us, moron.

Right? It's a win win.

Yeah.

Can I give you something else for your little spank bank?

Yeah.

So Jim Harbaugh, this week he was asked about quarterbacks. The best quarterbacks in college football are he went out of his way to pay Caleb Williams a massive compliment. He said Caleb Williams and JJ. McCarthy are like MJ and Kobe to them. So he had to acknowledge his own guy, obviously. But then he threw in caleb Williams.

Name is Drake May LeBron.

I don't know. I don't know. But you might have your crack at MJ. I want like that's what like Harbaugh. I think it is in the back of Harbaugh's mind that if he wins a national championship, he wants to go back to the NFL, because there's one thing about Harbaugh that has been driving him insane and that's the fact that he lost the Super Bowl to his brother.

Yes.

And that has to eat him up all the like, you know, every time he has a family gathering, he's like this motherfucker. He can't stand the fact that he hasn't won a Super Bowl and his brother has one over him. So he's definitely thinking about going back to the NFL. And you would think that he would want to go back to a team that might be in a position to draft Caleb.

I like it. I want it. Just think about it, man.

Football.

I'm rooting for Michigan to win the national title. For that reason.

You should be.

Yeah.

Eberflus is now owing eight against the NFC North.

The Bears have not won a home game in almost 13 months.

God bless Chicago fans that go to Bears games. God bless them.

Listen, the tailgates are fun. If it's still nice weather. I mean, you will see at the end of this season there will not be many people. People will choose not to go and the McCasky will be like, what the hell happened? Why aren't people having pride in the you know, today was a nice day. They're fun time. Watch some NFL football right by the they take the McCaskies take the fandom for granted. They take the fact that there's loyalty to the Bears for granted because the product is not good and it hasn't been good for a long time.

Christmas Eve.

Cardinals at Bear, right?

You should get a medal, like an army medal. If you go you should be eligible for USAA. If you go to that game and sit through the entire thing at Silver.

I wonder if we could organize what if we organized a GoFundMe walkout where it's like if we did the GoFundMe to then buy everyone's tickets to not attend.

And then the next week, New Year's Eve, they're up against the Falcons.

That would be sick.

You should just send because if there's.

Actually, like, let's say 5000 people in the stands, that would be a huge story.

You know what it should be? You just do the GoFundMe and then make only Lori Lightfoot gets to attend the game. Yeah, that would be funny.

Yeah.

They'll retire her jersey.

Yeah, but it's bad. It's bad in Chicago right now. But it might get good. That's the thing. It might get good real soon.

First and second pick. First and second pick. I just wish Justin Fields was better because then you could trade the first and second pick for like 3000 picks.

I should also mention that they're eight against the NFC North after polls said we're going to take the north and we're never going to give it back. So it hasn't really worked out going long. Shanks on them.

I did do a draft simulation where I traded the first and second pick and I kept on trading them until I had literally every single pick in like the 2029 draft. In the first round, it ruled.

That is pretty cool.

It was pretty awesome. I just wheeled and dealed till I had every single pick. So maybe that's what they do. What fan base wouldn't be down for that?

Having all rookies?

If you had every single pick, an entire first round, that would be the coolest draft night ever.

Yeah, it'd be very interesting.

Yeah, you just pick a whole new team.

If you were smart, you would then draft would you draft your quarterback at the end of the first round?

Yeah.

Like a 32nd overall pick.

Oh, yeah.

It would be really interesting to see how that math would come into play to see where we stand with the rookie pay scale.

Well, what happened in reality, I would work my ass off to get every first round pick in a draft and then I would start trading those picks. So then I had like half of every first round next year for ever.

Yeah.

For the next ten years, I would become a draft merchant. I would hoard all the picks and I would just be holding on to them forever. Never actually using them, but just having them. Because you can always sell a draft pick. You can always sell hope.

It would be so funny watching teams do their draft prep for that game, too, or for that draft where, you know, the Bears have every pick, but you have to be ready just in case you get the 9th pick overall. Yeah, just in case you get the twelveTH pick overall.

Right.

Nobody knows what's going on.

I put them in a big bag. Oh, the Vikings let them pick out the trade me next year's, first rounder. And then you get to pick out a random draft pick. It could be the first, could be the 10th.

Yeah.

That would not be a bad idea if you made them give you like, okay, we're going to simulate this draft as if we're giving you the 16th overall pick. But here's we're playing Deal or no Deal where you get to see which pick is actually in the suitcase.

Right.

And you might have gotten the first for the price of the 16th, or you might have gotten the 32nd.

Right.

That'd be fun.

Yeah, would be a lot of fun. Okay, speaking of draft picks, dolphins 42, Panthers 21. The Panthers don't have their first round draft pick. Also, the Panthers were up 14 nothing in this game. That was funny because the Dolphins are so good that they were down 14 nothing and they covered a two touchdown spread with somewhat ease. I know that it became a 14 point game when Mike White threw a pick six, but the Dolphins are they essentially woke up today. The Panthers Bryce Young looked great. If I were the Panthers, I would have tried to find a way to forfeit after the first two drives. It can only go down from here. And it did because the Dolphins then went on five of their next six drives. They scored a touchdown, just absolutely fucked them up. And that was basically the first two drives for Bryce Young. Was the extent of his day looking good?

Yeah.

If you're a Panthers fan, you can at least be like, bryce Young looked pretty good at the start of this game. That's all that you need to see is like, Bryce doing Bryce things. That makes you realize, okay, maybe it was the right call to use the.

First overall pick on him, like a total cowards move, but I wish you could do this where you just like, okay, we've seen enough. We know we're not going to win this game. Let's just pack it up and go home.

Yeah.

Because it did start looking bad again.

Tyreek Hill had the best play ever where he scored a touchdown and then he ran through the end zone and he got a dude's camera that was filming him. And then he did a video selfie of him taking a backflip in the end zone. I'm pretty sure that's pretty cool.

His personal camera guy.

I think so, too.

Yeah, because there's going to be like you'll see the Instagram highlight video tomorrow.

Yeah, he was run no, I already saw the video. The video is awesome.

Video is cool.

The guy was recording the entire play because he knew that Tyreek was going to score a touchdown at some point. Then Hill found him in the back of the ends and was like, okay, yeah, you're my guy. Just let me get that phone real quick. That's worth 15 yards. I bet you Mike McDaniels is going to be like, you know what, it hurt the team, but we're playing against the Panthers. That was worth it. Very cool.

Yes. Tyree Kill, could we see the first 2000 yard receiver?

Well, he pulled a hammy today, right.

But he came back in.

It was like the classic Tyree Kill.

Thing where came back in.

The human body is not meant to run that fast. And so then the hamstring, the muscles just kind of rebel against him. And then he has to go hit the foam roller for a second yes. And come back in.

So the record is 1964. Megatron came very close to 2000. Obviously they have another game. But Tyree Kill right now has 814 yards through six games. He is averaging 135 yards a game and he's on pace for 2300 yards. Can we say he's just the best receiver in the NFL? I know that he might not be. I know Justin Jefferson is incredible. I know every time we do this conversation, there's different guys. Jamar Chase, there's a lot of really good receivers. Maybe I'll phrase it this way. He is the hardest guy to game plan for. He's the biggest mismatch just in terms of speed, because it really is like watching a different sport when he's running.

Yeah, he is.

He might not be the best receiver in terms of catching the ball high, pointing the ball, catching in traffic. He's impossible to game plan for. When he's healthy, I would say he's.

The most dynamic playmaker in the NFL. You can play your safeties 30, 40 yards deep and then the rest of your offense is going to or the rest of your defense is going to get shredded by like four other super fast guys.

But even when they're playing 30 yards deep, if you take one false step or one angle that isn't exactly perfect. He'll just run right by you.

He's like an incredibly fast gymnast. Yeah, that's kind of what he is. And there's nobody like him. Justin Jefferson is like, he's incredible, but there are also a lot of other receivers out there that have that type of skill set. Just none as good as his is. Yeah, but with Tyreek Hill, it's like nobody's as fast as him. Nobody can change direction like he can. Yeah, he's short. It'd be nice if he was, like, a little bit taller for some jump balls. That's one thing that he doesn't really have. But he's just so good at adjusting to the ball, too, when he's running a deep route that he doesn't need to be super tall to make these contested catches.

And you see a lot of the teams are playing very far off the line of scrimmage and playing deep. Two safeties deep, because I think he leads the league in in cutting routes for catches because that's really what keeps happening, is where the whole defense is trying to keep Tyree Kill in front of him, that he has all this space to just cut underneath the defense, catch the ball, and then burn them.

He does all these plays that you see in video games where you're cutting across the middle and then you stop and you cut back across and go all the way to the other side of the field. He's probably the fastest guy in terms of not losing any speed when he makes a cut. Or if he's, like, reaching behind his own body to make a catch and then continuing to run.

It's crazy.

It's like he's on a little golf cart.

It's really nuts. And the Dolphins offense is just out of this world. I know that it was the Panthers, but that's what good teams should do, is just kick the shit out of them. Do you see? Stephen Ross did the waddle. Kind of ruined the waddle.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, he should celebrate.

Yeah. Yeah.

Should he? The billionaires do their own fucking.

I'm not I don't know.

It's just ah, it does make it over. It's like when Adam Schefter did the gritty yeah. Killed the gritty.

And then he dressed up like Kirk.

Cousins, which he looked great, though, right? Yeah, Schefter looked he looked strong. That was the best.

I thought he and his wife and they were doing the Waddle and was like, all right, this might not be cool anymore. I mean, it's like if I did the Waddle, people be like, OOH, that's bad.

When Frank the Tank does it looks awesome. Yeah, really good.

Really stands in the stands. Awesome.

I don't know, the owner not so.

Like yeah, just like, okay. I feel like now the joke is not as funny anymore.

I'd like to call attention to a great stat line that we got out of this game. Mike White, he was, for one, with a pick six. That is a perfect game. That is a perfect quarterback game.

Incredible.

We had Stathole look it up here and he found a list. There's only eight quarterbacks that have ever done that over one with one pick six and no other attempted passes. The last one was Kellen Clemens back in 2007 for the New York Jets. I love it. I love it. Thank you, Mike Whiteford. That's just a nice little cherry on top of this game for the Dolphins who are feeling pretty good about themselves because they're at 498 yards per game right now. The second place team would be the Saints from 2011 with 467 yards per game. So this is like the best offense that we've ever seen. I would love to see what would happen if they played the Browns. I want to see the best defense against the best offense. But right now, you're pretty happy. If you're a Dolphins fan, sundays are so good. If you're a Dolphins fan, you're just like, I can't wait to see my team run unabetted through somebody's secondary for 60 minutes a day. Just rack up points.

Oh, we're down ten. Okay. Just give us, like three minutes.

Yeah, well, we have Tyreek Hill, so we're actually up 30.

We have some awesome Dolphins games coming up, too. Eagles, they play the Patriots and they play at home against the Chiefs. Those are going to be great.

That's Germany. That's your morning game.

Fuck that.

That ruins that.

I was looking at these two coaches. Do you think that there's ever been a bigger gap in amount of weed smoked by two opposing head coaches in NFL history than Mike McDaniel and Frank Reich?

Yeah, I mean, McDaniel goes up against.

Belichick goes up against I bet Belichick smoked weed.

Think I actually think the gap between McDaniel and all the AFC's coaches, not McDaniel is vast. McDermott's not a weed smoker. He might have salah is not a weed smoker.

I bet McDermot in college, he's experienced. I experimented with marijuana in college.

No, he was a wrestler.

Yeah.

No chance.

Can't get the munchies if you're a wrestler, you're making that.

McDaniel would not party with anyone. Belichick might actually be the answer is closest in the AFC East.

I would put McDermott over Frank Reich, though. Frank Reich looks like he would call the cops if he found a joint in the office.

I don't know.

I think McDermott, he might be the leader.

We should ask him. Like, have you ever smoked weed?

Trying to think of all the coaches. I bet you what's his name? Gannon for the cardinals. He probably smoked weed once and was like, I'm having a panic attack. Call the ambulance.

Yeah.

I can never do it again.

Too much anxiety.

What?

You did that, Jake.

Of course you did.

Oh, my God.

Tell us the story. Did you actually go to the hospital?

No. I'm already a paranoid person.

Are you paranoid?

You're paranoid.

What are your biggest paranoid fears? Tell them so we can exploit them.

No. Yeah.

I don't see you as a paranoid guy.

Yeah, I know this is new to you.

Guys.

You're with you guys for four and a half years?

No, but no. What's the word for hypochondriac? Germaphobe. You're a big xenophobe.

Yeah.

I don't think you're paranoid.

You might be paranoid like, oh, what if I get really high and accidentally tweet out the Ray Allen tweet?

Yeah. Are you actually don't you do not strike me as a paranoid person.

Do you think, like, the cops are coming when you smoke weed?

What do you think?

Well, like, in high school?

Yeah.

Who do you think is going to come get you?

I don't know.

Michaels?

The journalist police? You think someone just, like, tell us your biggest paranoia that you deal with getting canceled. Oh, okay.

Yeah, the Ray Allen tweet.

You heard someone who's been canceled a few times. It's not that, like, the YouTube numbers go crazy.

I don't really know what canceled would mean for you.

Jake can't call games. My future one shot.

Oh, Marv Albert calls games.

Oh, okay, so now I understand. Yeah. No, I get it. You're paranoid. Every yeah. Being around us actually just shooting the.

Shit on tape all the time.

This makes sense.

There's so many opportunities for you to.

Fuck up and say the wrong this this job is hell for you.

No, I love it.

Yeah, but you're paranoid. Like, were you a little worried when the Taylor Swift stuff happened?

No.

Can we make sure maximum memes anytime that PFT and I start going off a tangent, that could get us canceled. Make sure that we cut the camera to Jake intermediately so he's in the clip.

I'd like to discuss my thoughts on abortion right now. In America right now, you have people that serve on the Supreme Court that are going to die in their chairs. Never be you can't vote them. It's it's tricky. It's a weird situation. Right, Jake? It's like, you're a guy. You'll never have to get an abortion, but you get to rule on whether women will. What do you think about that, Jake?

Okay.

You can get Viagra in any drugstore right now as a man.

Next game, jake, how does it feel to be a Dolphins fan right now?

Feels fantastic. I'm excited for the battle next week against Max on Sunday Night Football. I'm going to be as loud as.

No, no, you can't do that. You can't get canceled.

Yeah, I'll lead the charge.

I think that's part of why get.

This guy out of here.

I think that's part of why, since I joined the show, I'm not as into my teams anymore, because if I was like, middle school Yankee Jake, I.

Would be like people would be upset. Well, people hate Max.

Yeah, exactly.

But Max is not I think you just got to be who you are.

Exactly.

Welcome me.

Max is himself.

What was middle school yankee.

Jake like, just, like, yelling at the TV? Yeah, like, middle school anyone fan is yelling, jerking off.

Are you saying that I'm in my 2009 World Series.

Wait, what was that little kid you were just talking about? 8th, 9th grade?

Hey, Jack.

Middle school once you discovered it?

No, but I'm not now talking about other boys jerking.

I was no FAP.

Was it like, middle school, anyone?

No, I was no FAP. I was eating clean.

Well, you probably didn't hit high school.

Oh, that's very funny, Hank. I was I peaked when I was in middle school athletically, because I was just as tall as everyone middle school.

I knew I wasn't going to get controlled by the Matrix. I was a top g. I didn't.

Even look at a woman. That's how straight I was.

Yeah.

Held all my semen in just for my boys.

Actually, Jake, you might be as loud as Max if Max was as quiet as he was today. Yeah, Max was so quiet.

We'll talk about that game later.

I was like, bitch, man.

Is he okay?

Max lost this game for his we'll.

Get to it later.

Eagles fan.

And you're looking for a finger to point at somebody, point it right at Max. Christopher de Linte.

We call this a tease in the business. Max lost the game today. We will get to it later. Jake, I'm sorry you're paranoid about getting canceled, but, yeah, you probably will. Everyone does.

Well, let's not hope that's the case.

Okay, fine.

We won't hope.

All right, fine. That was big of me. Can I get some credit for that? You can just say, no, no, I'm getting there. I don't want you to get canceled.

Thank you.

I do not want you to get canceled. Would it be funny if there was, like, a cancelation scare? Maybe, but I don't want you to actually get canceled.

What's? Steve Kerr's son's.

Sure. All right, let's take a break. We'll do a couple ads, and then we will do the rest. The last two afternoon games and then get to or sorry, the early games and then get to the afternoon games.

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Okay. Jags. Colts.

Jags.

37.

Colts.

20. Jags looked good.

Must win for the Jaguars.

The jags look good? Their defense looked good. This is now nine straight losses for the Colts in Jacksonville. We talked about that on Friday. But, yeah, the Jags look good. Their defense looked very good. Travis Etienne also scored two touchdowns in 17 seconds that ruled. And yeah. Do you know the Jags lead? I don't know if anything changed after tonight, probably not. But they, I believe, lead the league in takeaways right now through I didn't know that. 15 takeaways.

Josh Allen had another one today.

Yes. Oh, yeah. The other Josh Allen.

Yeah.

But, yeah, the Jags defense are the Jags good? They're three in a row now, and credit to the Jags, two games in London, one against the Bills, and then coming back home. They've won three in a row. They've rided the ship after that. Chiefs Texans, double loss in a row. The jags might be good.

I think we just we yeah, the Jags are good, and we should be respecting Doug Peterson as a head coach more.

Yes.

Let's make a note. Jake, can you make a note for, like, three weeks from now?

Now that's a guy who smokes weed.

Yeah.

Oh, for sure.

Just respect out of, like, a really cool Doug Peterson, old, like, Skull Bowl.

He's got a giant bong, for sure.

Yeah.

He's got a shitload of he's got different. He pulls out a whole cabinet where.

He'S like, yeah, he probably wakes up with a spliff.

Yeah.

Stays buzed all day.

Yeah.

They're on a buy in three weeks.

Jags. Oh, yeah.

That's a perfect time. Just remind us, respect Doug Peterson as a head coach.

Now, for the Colts. They played bad.

The good news is they get to play the Browns defense next.

Yeah.

Gardner Minshry did not look good. I know that we're not smart enough to be NFL head coaches. I think Shane Steichken is actually a very good head coach. It sucks that Anthony Richardson possibly could be out for the year with his shoulder surgery. I did hiccup just there. Would he think about potentially starting Sam Ellinger for one series and then putting.

A Gardner Minshew just to make Gardner Minshew come off the bench?

So I looked it up. Gardner Minshew in his last twelve starts is two and ten. In his last two relief appearances, he's.

Two and o. Yeah.

Just like you can't have a middle reliever start. A game as a closer. Start a game, let Gardner Minshew think he's not starting, and then put him in and let him just be himself. Because I think he might just put a little too much pressure on himself. They're definitely opener quarterbacks. Like starting quarterbacks.

There's relief pitcher quarterbacks and there's closer quarterbacks.

Right.

Like, I would actually have Tim Tebow in the last minute of any yep. Just because he does weird shit and he gets the job done.

Would I would actually not hate having Ryan Tannehill be an opener. Just a nice clean three and out.

Yeah.

Who's probably not going to throw a pick that early.

Josh Dobbs would not be a bad starting quarterback.

Yeah.

He's really good in the first half.

It is weird that with advanced analytics, wouldn't it be harder to I guess this really doesn't make sense because we are but and we're essentially just going back in time and doing like Lloyd Carr when he did like Drew Henson, Tom Brady. But if you had two quarterbacks or three quarterbacks that had all vastly different skills, like a lefty, a fast guy, and a big arm guy, have them.

All on the field at the same time.

The Saints.

Yeah.

But just go drive to drive and you don't know what's coming.

Yeah.

I think we might have just found the next edge in the NFL.

I think there are different skill sets for like they're showing the flip right now with Tyree Kill.

This also is a very dumb premise because we also spend the entire every single NFL season for the existence of this show and the existence of our lives being like there's only really like 20 good starting quarterbacks.

Well, I was going to say that.

We'Re now trying to find three.

You could probably piece together the best four quarterbacks by quarter and they would still be worse than Patrick Mahomes is all the time.

Yeah.

But it'd be tough to defend against. It would be if you did a Josh Dobbs, Gardner Minshew, maybe Malik Cunningham, see what he has and then jamis.

Yeah.

Need a lefty. I think the lefty thing would be very yeah. Like yeah, I think we might be onto something. So either way. Shane Steichen. Just think about it. Sam Ellinger is there. You can start him and then bring in Gardner Minshew after literally one play, I think would do the trick.

So it's crazy, because if you'd asked me what his record was as a starter, I wouldn't have said he was that good. I wouldn't have said that his record was solid. But if you told me he started twelve games, I would probably say he won five of them. Yeah, but no, two and ten.

He won a few more games. If you go farther back because he had the time where he was actually a starter in Jacksonville. Yeah, but two and ten and then yeah, he started two games for the eagles last year. Lost both those. He started this game. Lost this. He came in relief in the Ravens game. And what was the oh, the Titans game won both of those. So yeah. Gardner Minshew. What are you guys laughing about now?

Butts.

That's funny.

Okay. Butts. Yeah.

Whose butt?

It was just a reply. Oh, it was a reply, but it was an only fans Twitter reply.

Butt.

Oh, was it the thickest girl on Twitter? Something like that year old out here, girl.

Roxy, that replies to everybody.

Yeah.

I thought she just replied to me. Yeah, everyone.

It's everyone. Literally everyone.

It was butthole.

It was like actual I've seen that.

Very graphic.

My feet has just been butthole for.

The last, like, three days.

They get very graphic.

Yeah.

So the colts. I don't know. It sucks about Anthony Richardson.

It does. He might be out for the season. Did you see the one cool thing he did this week, though? Yeah, he went to a fan's house.

For his birthday and just hung out with him.

He just chilled with him for, like, hours.

Just hanging mean. We kind of do do that when we do grit. Like, if I were a professional athlete, I would do that.

I would show up.

Show?

Yeah.

Like when Joel Embiid used to be cool. When he would just show up to random parks and play.

Yeah.

That's that is something that that person will talk about for the rest of their go. You know what we should do?

No.

There's a future me. I'm not going to say it.

Who would be the worst NFL player to show up at your house randomly.

Agree that we shouldn't do it?

If Carson wentz showed up at my house, I would call the police.

You agree that we shouldn't?

I would be like, get the fuck off my property.

Stand your ground.

Yeah, I've got too many pigeons that hang out on my house. You're going to start firing a shot gun into my house?

I was going to say we should go to a wedding because we've been invited to a million weddings and we never would go, but maybe we'll go to a random one. You know what? We won't agree to do anything, but maybe yeah, we do get invited to a lot of weddings.

Open bar. If there's open bar, I will consider it.

Hank's so mad that I said that.

Out loud on a Saturday.

It would be awesome.

Good point.

It would be very cool the one.

Day we don't have any PMT obligations.

Maybe a Friday wedding. Maybe a Monday wedding. What do we do Thursday?

We record right after.

That would be cool if you have.

A Thursday wedding planned. Not during football season.

Oh, that would actually be we did.

A wedding episode where we just recorded at someone's wedding. Okay, that was a bad idea.

I'm sorry.

Hank.

It was smart of your instinct to say, don't say it out loud, but you know that once I say I'm not going to say it, I always say it.

The wedding episode would also stink because well, no, we get drunk at the wedding.

We would have to get drunk at the weding. Yeah, we would definitely get drunk at the wedding.

Yeah.

Carson wentz, if you heard that, don't get any ideas.

Don't even think about it.

Memes is saying that we wouldn't get drunk. I would get drunk at this wedding.

Yeah, we know.

Oh, you'd be tie around your head. You're a tie around your no, no, I'll stop you right here. Max was going to say, I'm an awesome time at weddings. And what he means by that is that he's the sweatiest fucking dude on the dance floor. And everyone's like, EW, get away from me, Max.

You take your shoes off.

Don't I've ripped, like, two pants at weddings.

I've done that, too.

Yeah, that happens. The suit pants are just it's not right what they do. No, and it's also not right that you don't wear a suit for eight months and then your body changes.

Yeah.

And then you put it on and it doesn't fit. Okay. Texans 20, Saints 13. CJ. Stroud threw a pick. Another thing we got right, we nailed it. We said he was going to throw a pick. And it was the best interception I've ever seen in my entire life because he threw a pick. And then the Saints fumbled right after, like, literally after the interception, so they didn't even have to take the offense off the field. And then he drove them down and scored a touchdown.

So, like, Josh Allen threw that one interception against the jets that everybody was like, great interception. Because it was a 40 yard arm punt.

Right.

What CJ. Stroud did on one play was he did an arm punt, and then he had them do an even worse punt back to him.

Yes.

He threw two punts on one interception that they then recovered and went in and scored a touchdown. Good for CJ.

Yeah. And the Texans are fun. They are verbal the is it SpongeBob when he's standing in the window looking out?

Yep.

Squidward. Squidward looking at SpongeBob and Patrick.

Yeah.

So I'm squidward, and I'm looking out at Demiko, Ryan's and CJ. Stroud and being like, I wish I had this fun, because they shouldn't be three and three, but they play tough defense.

CJ.

Stroud is the real deal. I like, yeah, they're very well coached. Damien Pierce is awesome. And, yeah, they got some studs, some young studs. They're everything I want. They're everything I want in life.

I've got a couple takes here. One, the Texans could make the playoffs.

Yeah.

Their schedule is very easy. They're a good team. They beat teams that they should beat for the most part.

Gonna be tough because the AFC AFC.

Is very it's not the dream is still alive. If you're a Texans fan.

Okay.

It's definitely still alive. And Damiko might be Coach of the Year. I think he gets our vote, right?

Yeah, he gets our vote.

If the Super Bowl were today, d'amiko Ryan's would be Coach of the year.

Yeah.

So the problem with the Texans making the playoffs, there's a lot there's a few problems, but no, it's actually not that crazy. You're basically saying that. No, it's actually not that crazy because it's between the jets, the Bengals, the whole entire AFC North could make the playoffs and then the jets and the Bills. You got to find a way in. Either way, they're fun. Yeah, they're very fun. The Saints are the biggest bummer of a team that has ever existed. Derek Carr went there to fix everything. Derek Carr had the most busy day with nothing to show for it. 50 attempts, 353 yards, 13 points.

He did all that work.

All that work, and they just kept on driving down the field and not scoring. They missed the field goal. The Saints are a bummer of a team.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree.

They're very boring to watch on offense. Even when Derek Carr is making good throws, they're still boring. Good throws?

Yeah.

They don't really accomplish much.

That's the thing.

He throws a lot of, like, 25 yard passes to the sidelines and then drives Stall out, and nothing happens after that. And everyone's mad at Pete Carmichael, as they should be. Their offensive coordinator. I'm just going to throw a name out there wild speculation if the Saints ever decide to move on from Pete Carmichael, but he might just have a job for life. There, like, a Supreme Court justice because he was there when Drew Brees was in town. So he has, like Sean Payton is like, Sean Payton. Drew Brees basically rebuilt New Orleans. That's what they like to remind us of whenever they have a primetime game. Carmichael has, like, 5% stake in that. He was part of that whole thing. Is there a coach out there that could be a pretty good offensive coordinator that is familiar with Derek Carr and Foster Moreau? The two of those guys? A guy named John Gruden. We know that the Saints organization hates Roger Goodell. What better way to get back at Roger Goodell than to hire the guy that led the Roger Goodell as a football pussy?

The only problem is, I don't think John Gruden would sign up to be an understudy of Dennis Allen.

Maybe not.

That seems like something he would just.

Like it would be shadow head coach.

I think his body would reject it. Yeah, I think he would be like, I cannot actually do this.

He would actually just do all the stuff that a head coach does.

Right.

And Dennis Allen would just have the title.

Yeah, but just think about the idea. I don't hate the idea how they're going to say Josh McDaniels.

Oh, God. Oh, God. No.

Yeah, but yeah. The Texans are very fun, and I like watching them and they play really hard and they're well coached and they're everything I want.

You know what the Saints are averaging? They're averaging 16 points per game. Yeah, pretty bad.

They're a bummer. And they just scored 34.

They got rid of all their points last week. Can you imagine how bad truth, how bad you'd be as a football team if you gave up 34 points to the New Orleans Saints?

Bad.

Real bad.

Pretty bad. Or like, 40 points to the Bears? Yeah, pretty bad.

Really bad. Okay, we tease this. Let's get to it. Jets 20, Eagles 14. The New York Jets have finally beaten the Philadelphia Eagles as a franchise. Owen 13 going into today. So it was the memes versus Max. Max, we're not allowed to talk.

Say that anymore.

Why? Because Memes is a coward. Memes did not come for the game. Coward move. And he texted us, he's like, holy shit. As the jets were running back that last interception. Coward move. You didn't come in face. You thought you were going to get killed. And then when you didn't get killed, you're like, oh, I want to partake with the guys front running memes. I was going to come in at halftime.

But you didn't.

But you didn't. But I didn't because the jets kicked field goal.

So I was like, I'm keeping the yeah.

So you still thought they were going to lose? Nope.

It was keeping the vibes.

Vibes were good. Interesting. Right on my couch.

Were you afraid of having to kiss Max?

No. Wait, do you have to? Max. Max, kiss him right now. Kiss him right now.

Give him a smooch, Max.

Kiss him.

Max, kiss.

Kiss him.

You could hear that, too.

That was wet.

It's a little smooch for the boys. I love kissing my boys.

That was wet. Max was what? You missed memes is. Max was the reason that the Eagles lost today. Not Jalen Hurts throwing three interceptions, which, by the way, Jalen Hurts now has seven interceptions on the year, more than all of last year.

One of them wasn't his fault.

Okay? Not Jalen Hurts, not the injuries, not the Eagles defense not being able to get that first down. It was Max. Max showed up today and he announced that he wasn't going to get angry today. He was going to be calm, cool Max. He sat crisscross applesauce on the couch like a little boy and didn't get upset at all during the was. At one point, Max was, like, asking everyone how their weekend was. And then he said, the vibes are weird here. And we all basically the whole room was like, because of you, dude, you're the one who's acting weird. He lost the game for the Eagles today. Max.

Yeah, I didn't have a good game. It was a stressful week of streams. High intensity 100%.

Go, go.

I thought it would be all right. Not all right. I thought it would be.

You thought you looked past the jets?

I thought it would be healthy.

Said you were looking forward to a relaxing weekend, I believe was your word.

Yes.

And then the weekend I looked past the jets, the players looked past the jets, the coaches looked past the Jets, I looked past the jets. And that's on me. I'm willing to take responsibility for. But I at that time, I mean, you told me I was going to get a heart attack last week.

No, that is incorrect.

Difference.

Big difference. I said it'd be funny if you had a minor heart incident.

Yeah.

And I went into it.

You're going to get one.

You you brought it up and it crossed your mind that it's a possibility.

This is deflection right now.

No.

There were some interesting visuals of you last week. You had a lot of moments last week, and I think all those moments, they dulled you where you're like, you know what? I can't go back to that. I need to save some more moments for the future. The fills are in another series, then maybe another World Series after that. And you're thinking to, can't you're conserving energy right now? And you needed that energy today because your team didn't have it. And when Lane Johnson got hurt lane Johnson gets hurt. Max is like, he'll be fine.

Just shrugged. It didn't even he honestly didn't even register to him.

I still do think he'll be fine.

That Lane Johnson got hurt and it was a big deal because the jets were defensive line was all over.

I mean, Driscoll was horrible. He was just getting eaten alive every I mean, Lane Johnson doesn't get hurt.

The Eagles probably win that game, but.

Is maybe if you showed up with a game face, the Eagles win. You came with zero energy. Zero.

Of there's a big week of energy in my household.

This.

What?

No. The Phillies play four games this week.

Hopefully only four.

During the week this week. They will be playing four games Monday.

You're expecting for a sweep?

I'm saying we don't need to get into weekend weekdays sort of situation here.

How many games do they play during the week? Four, including Friday.

Are you only rooting for one team?

I'm not.

Sounds like you should, Hank. I mean, Hank, you've had to root for multiple championship runs at the same time.

It was the jets. I thought it was the fucking jets.

Wow.

Hank, if you could look back at your career as a sports fan, is there like, one season that you remember where you're rooting for all these great teams and it was the best?

When did your life peak and you had to put your hard hat on every day?

Yeah, I mean, like 2010 to 2014, the Bruins and Celtics made deep runs every spring and summer.

You don't give a very about the Bruins?

Absolutely.

During the playoffs, dude, he was heartbroken.

Last year I was at game seven. Wait, were you when they lost to.

The wait, I thought the Bruins and.

I used to seek it in the.

Game, so I was like, I thought.

The Bruins had the best record of all time.

They did.

Locked in panthers.

So they lost, what, third round playoffs?

No, first round.

Oh, that's crazy.

But you look at Max, you're like, I mean, Max, it is disgusting what you're doing right now. I would die for you.

Did load management after three games, one.

Team to be good, and you're like, I got two.

I mean, every single thing that you guys said to me last week was, this is series one. What are you going to do next?

Yeah.

Where does it go from here?

Where does it go from?

I didn't expect to take a lull. I need for your birds.

Your birds needed you today.

Yes.

And you didn't show up at all.

I get it.

Deion Sanders would be disgusted that you couldn't handle two sports at once.

Yeah, no, it's true. You can't handle two sports at once. That's actually a fact. We've learned this today, that you don't have it in you.

I thought it was the fucking jets. Okay, well, next Sunday, Dolphins. Sunday Night Football wearing Kelly Green. I had that in my mind. I'm like, okay, that's a big game.

The jets were wearing Kelly green today.

The jets are fake.

Fake ass.

Kelly green Phillies wouldn't be playing next Sunday. So conveniently he can only root for the Eagles.

But the Phillies didn't play today and.

He wasn't able to root for the mindset. It's a mindset.

It was weird.

That isn't true.

You didn't wake up this morning in Bird.

That isn't true. Every time I would say anything, you guys would be like, oh, you wearing the Eagle shoes.

Lane Johnson going out and you from the airport. It was like, we asked you what you wanted for lunch. You're like, yeah, I don't care, order anything.

That's not true. That was more of me being in denial. It's an ankle. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. I'll be fine.

Are you wearing any Eagles clothes today?

Wow. No.

Can't handle it.

No, he can't.

I came from the fucking airport for.

Two teams at once.

Hank, are you wearing any Pat's gear today?

Fuck face.

I'm wearing navy blue Pats colors.

That is true, Hank. I like, basically dress up like a.

Sad clown every so yeah, Hank's a Tom Brady fan, not a Pats fan.

I'm like the Joker. I'm eventually going to just snap because Sunday comes and I was like, all right, here comes the bear shirt. This sucks.

Yeah.

There's nothing like putting on a shirt of a team that you know is going to lose.

That had it's very depressing.

I've done it many, many times. You look at yourself when you get ready to step out the door, and you're like, My day is already terrible.

I had that moment with Eddie. The other were I think it was actually before the Commanders game. It was Thursday, and we both had bear stuff on, and we just looked at each other. We're like, look at us. We're fucking losers.

Why?

Yeah, losers. Why am I so Max can't root for two teams at once?

Yes, I can, but I just don't have to go 100 for two.

You want to win? I think you do.

Yeah.

Now, I learned my lesson that I thought I didn't, but today I learned it's a learning experience for me, the guys it's a learning experience for them. There was a players only meeting after the game.

That's pretty early to be doing a players only meeting.

Yeah.

After one loss, players only meeting always is a positive.

I disagree. You can miss time. A players only meet. It's usually a pet.

When your season is on the line, it shows leadership.

No, it shows the guys just like you. You don't have anywhere to go up as a fan after coaches don't. As a Phillies fan, there's nothing that can top ripping your shirt off and spitting on me. So you're like, okay, I need to figure out what we're doing. With a players only meeting. You have nowhere to go after that. That's the last thing that you do.

You can only press that button so many times. You can't show players only meeting every week.

It wasn't a players only meeting. It was like the players spoke to the locker room.

Locker room?

You're talking about just being a normal locker room.

Well, the coach wasn't in the locker room yet, so they just started.

It sounds like they organized players in there.

It sounds like it's just hanging out with your friends.

So only the players were in there, and only the players were talking, but it wasn't a players only.

It sound like they organized or debate all over.

You're not getting it. It's not a players only. It's a no coaches meeting.

Got it?

Yeah. There you go.

A zero coaches meeting. All right, Max, you let down all Philadelphia today. I hope people understand that. I have a more important question, and we'll give it back to memes. Are the jets good?

I think they're back.

I think they might be good.

I think they're back.

They're three and three. And if you say to yourself, like, yes, they got killed by the Cowboys, but just put it in the totality of their season so far, they lost their starting quarterback. One drive in. The jets played the Bills, the Cowboys, the Eagles, the Chiefs. They're two and two against those teams. They played the Chiefs.

They got robbed against the Chiefs.

So the last drive, they obviously got killed by the Cowboys. But they beat the Bills and they beat the Eagles. Those are two teams with big time Super Bowl aspirations. I think the jets might be good. I think they might be good. Memes?

Yes.

I also think they're good.

They have the by week coming up.

And then they have a couple easy games after that.

I don't think there are easy games for easy games. This is old school.

Did you hear what we just said?

Yeah.

I'm really good teams.

Well, I also lost to the patriots. Yeah, it was raining. Zach Wilson does play good in Adversity. So they go by week, then they go Giants right after memes.

You know what changed? We talked about a little bit last week. No headband Zach Wilson.

Yeah. No.

Headband Zach Wilson is a different player than headband Zach Wilson. So by the numbers, he's got a 72.3% completion rate, as opposed to 54.9 when he wears the headband. Okay. That's a big difference. They were scoring 14 points per game when he was wearing the headband, and now they're scoring 22 points per game with no headband. His rating with the headband is 69.3. His rating without the headband this year is 85.8. He's a different player. You just got to keep the headband off him.

I think the jets might be good.

Yeah.

He's not turning all over either. Yeah, he's got two touchdowns, one interception, as opposed to before he had 17 touchdowns, 22 interceptions.

I think the jets might be good. It's crazy, but I think they might be good. Aaron Rogers is going to play this year. It's fucking insane.

He looks normal.

It's crazy. I don't know what happened, but he's going to play this year. Does he play this year? I hope so.

Playoffs, I think he plays.

So you're done with Zach Wilson?

Wow.

That's fucked up.

No, Zach Wilson's my guy right now, okay?

I think right now. Right now. Not Mr. Wright. Mr. Wright. Now, Salah said that if Zach Wilson gets us to the promised land, he'll get a tattoo of his face. And they asked where. He said, all over my body.

His entire body would become Zach Wilson's face.

That was going to take his face off, like Nick Cage and John Travolta. If Zach Wilson does it, I'll get.

A Zach Wilson tattoo.

If Zach Wilson wins a Super Bowl. Starting a Super Bowl and wins it, you'll get a Zach Wilson tattoo on your face? On my entire back. Okay.

I love that.

Like Steve oh, you get, like, the.

Entire I love that for you. Now I'm rooting for Robert.

Salash should actually just get Zach Wilson's face tatooed on his own face.

Yeah.

Has that ever happened?

No, but that would be very cool, I hope. Zach Wilson, they win a Super Bowl, and he's, like, the worst quarterback ever to win a Super Bowl. But then you have to get the whole tattoo. It'd be worth it.

That'd be a big come up for Trent Dilfer. Those conversations.

He would stop being so angry.

Yeah.

Zach wilson would start choking out kids.

I have something good for you, Hank. Robert Salah also said, first six weeks we've played a gauntlet of good quarterbacks. Haven't gotten all wins, but we've embarrassed all of them. Mac Jones is part of the gauntlet of good.

Great company.

That's huge. That's huge. They have it is pretty crazy. The jets have, like, if you're going BCS standings. I know they're three and three, but they have two really good wins, both at home, but still really good wins.

And a really good loss.

And a really good loss. The jets might be good. Can't play in the rain. The jets might be good. I might start having to respect the jets. Their defense played incredible. And all their cornerbacks were hurt.

Yeah, their defense.

Yeah.

Sauce didn't play today.

Right?

Sauce didn't play. DJ. Reid didn't play. Brandon Eccles also didn't play. Brought up practice squad. Guys, I cashed out of my jets future. I might have to buy back in from that ghost. Maybe this was the path that he chose for us.

It did rock that they had two brothers with turnovers.

Yeah. Yeah.

They credited that to their grandmother being in the I.

She should show up.

Yeah.

And Max not showing up. And Max not showing up.

Well, the Eagles, I mean, we're talking fucking injuries. Eagles were hurt all over the field.

Excuses only team with mean.

The jets were missing their, I think, two starting cornerbacks.

Yeah.

The jets were missing quarterback. The Eagles were missing the best defensive tackle in the game. The best offensive tackle in the game.

The jets were missing maybe the best top ten corner.

Wait, Jalen Carter is already better than.

They the jets were missing the best quarterback I've ever won. One Super Bowl.

Yeah, aaron Donald does play a lot.

Jalen Carter will be back next week.

Okay.

Will you?

His six games is a pro.

I'll be back next week for sure.

Oh, I don't know about that. You got four games.

Yeah.

You got four games. You got a full schedule.

Yeah.

Disgusting. I hope people are as disgusted as.

I would love to I was locked.

In football team and baseball team.

Well, this is the difference. You were coming off of what I was bringing to the Phillies this week. And it can't be, but it can't be the same.

I did notice that Max got reeled down on the 76 ers right when the Phillies started to get good.

He can't handle it.

Yeah.

The man, you were like, trade embiid, blow it all up. Right when the Phillies started.

Well, now James Harden's back, so I'm back in on the six.

We basically just asked Max to juggle and he just couldn't even get one.

Ball in the I can juggle.

No, you can't.

Like real juggling.

No, you can't.

Yeah, I can.

All right, juggle.

I don't have any things.

A real juggler always has things on him to.

Juggle.

Oh, here we go.

Give him max is going to try to juggle.

No way.

There's no way he can juggle.

That's pretty good.

If I had, like, baseballs, I could.

Do it for sure.

Okay.

All right.

What about footballs?

What about a football? Baseball and a football?

Yeah.

Could you do a baseball and a football?

I mean, that was pretty fucking just.

Max, could you juggle a baseball and a football at the same time?

Yeah.

No chance. I learned that today.

I'll be back.

Zero chance.

I'll be back.

I'll be back.

That's sad that you have to say.

I just watched the game like a normal person today.

Yeah.

And it was off putting.

You're not a normal person.

Yeah, right. I know when people are like, oh, Max does shtick. Like today you were because you were just being normal and it bothered me.

I'm not going to get mad today.

It got the vibes off and the jets might be good.

Are you okay, Max?

I'm great.

The fact that you weren't mad, it's.

Okay to not be. All right, before we get to the last three games, let's do a couple ads, and then we will get to the final three games before we get.

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Okay, next game, raiders 21, patriots, 17. Henry. Yeah. Henry.

Yes.

They should have covered. They should have let's start with that. The patriots should have covered. You almost covered a three point spread against the Raiders, who are a really good team. And Jimmy Garoppolo. And Jimmy Garoppolo is a great quarterback, so it makes sense why maybe you couldn't cover that spread, but you didn't.

Grapple got hurt.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot about oh, brian Hoyer beat us. It was a terrible game. Not fun to watch. Had zero enjoyment watching it. Still placed a big bet on the Patriots. Convinced myself that they were going to win this game. They're going to get up for it. Mac jones stunk again.

Yeah.

200 yards.

Is that an accomplishment? Is that what for him excited for?

Well, I mean, if you want me to go through his game logs.

Zeke scored. Finally.

Yeah.

That was nice.

Mac Jones.

Yeah.

He threw 200 yards last week. He threw 110 the week before, he threw 150.

Progress, baby.

Yeah.

Do you want to just read?

Also, he threw half the amount of interceptions he's thrown in the last two games. That's true.

He only had one interception today, so.

By next week, he'll have zero.

It was a really bad interception, though. Do you want to do the thing where we just read Hank Patriot stats?

Sure.

Okay, here's a patriot stat. Henry. This is the first time in Bill Belichick's head coaching career that his team has zero or fewer total yards in the first quarter I'm going to repeat that. Zero or fewer total yards in the first quarter of a football game. The Patriots are one in five. They're four games under 500 for the first time since 2000. But the good news is, at least in your next two games, you've got the Bills and the Dolphins.

Spoiler.

Oh, spoiler. I have one here that they showed on the screen, which was pretty shocking. The Patriots scored their first points in this game today. It was their first points scored in 27 drives. 133 minutes of game time.

Yeah.

The Patriots 27 drives. They went without scoring. I think we were at like, I think it was eleven quarters without a touchdown.

I think it was twelve. I think it was an even twelve quarters. How many quick? I'm not that good at math. How many games of not scoring a touchdown? That's three games. They went three games without scoring a touchdown.

They almost covered, though.

They should have covered. They didn't. They could have won the game. They didn't. Mac Jones once again had the ball in his hands. Chance to go down the field, win the game, got a safety.

Well, Devante Parker also had the ball in his hands.

Right?

Right, Hank?

What do you mean? Oh, yeah, I mean, it was a.

Is it not Devante Parker? What's his name?

Who are you talking about?

Yeah, it's Devontae Parker. Parker, yeah. Devante Parker.

Yeah.

He dropped that ball. That was a nice pass by Mac Jones.

It was a good pass. Catchable ball. If you can touch, you can catch it. I've always said that you have it's just not fun. You just read the stats. It's a miserable team to watch. I still like, I convinced myself they're going to win bet a lot. And then I had even less fun watching the game.

Yeah, you didn't have any fun watching the game.

I saw that it's gotten so bad that me and Big Cat can't even really twist. The only the only arrow we have in our quiver is just to read factual statements to you.

They're not a good team. They did also say, I think pelice said, like, we're going to start a new slate. We're going to change everything. Here we go. And their first play was an offensive penalty.

Yeah.

False start. Not good.

The Raiders, though, the Raiders might be frisky. They're three and three. Max Crosby is a fucking monster. Here's a crazy Max Crosby stat. Since the start of last year, max Crosby has taken 90% of all Raiders defensive stats. That's an insane stat. He is an absolute like, his motor just doesn't stop. It's crazy. And he got the safety, didn't he?

That screwed the COVID And then the Patriots did say, though, patriots have revolutionized the game again. Never seen this before, ever. They tried to do an onside punt after the safety.

That was cool. Belichick's been waiting to do that for.

A while, I think is Jimmy Garoppolo hurt really bad.

So when he got hit, he took a shot right in his ribs on his side, and then they announced his back was hurt. And then they said he was going to the hospital. So I think they were checking to see if his organs were okay, if those guts got stirred up at all. So that's not a good sign. But Hoyer looked good, and then when he got in the game, the first thing they did just like, fuck it, let's go downfield with Hoyer. Let's see how his arm is. And Axel Hoyer came in and played pretty well.

Yeah.

So next week we might have Brian Hoyer versus Tyson badgett.

Fun.

What a game.

Congrats, America.

What a game, folks.

Flex that shit to primetime, dude.

What a game.

Yeah.

So anything else, Hank? I mean, you're are you starting to look at the draft picks?

Absolutely.

Oh, okay. So that flip has been made.

Flip has been made. And then again, like I said, in the beginning of the season, we're going to have a chance to play spoiler. We got the Bills and the Dolphins coming up. Just try and split there. Piss off those fan bases.

Oh, who do you want to beat more? Maybe the Dolphins, because that also would mean, like, Belichick still has yeah. If they stopped them defensively.

Yeah.

That would be a because the Bills the Dolphins I feel like even when the Patriots were like the Patriots, they would still every now and then lose to the Dolphins, whereas they would always beat the Bills.

Yeah.

And we already beat them spoiler the win game.

That was, like, three years ago.

Yeah, man, Hank, that's tough.

Is that your holding on to spoilers three years ago?

Is that your last happy moment?

Yes.

That actually probably was, because it was we were there.

It was so much fun. Weather wasn't real. We beat the Bills.

Mac Jones was ascending, and then it.

Was like, yeah, we can beat them in the playoffs.

We listen to that guy on the.

Radio after Build A.

This is this is they're Sean McDermott's, like Bill Belichick's playing Star Wars. Sean McDermott doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

It's kind of crazy to think that your last happy moment was a game in which they did not let Mac Jones throw the ball at all.

But it was fun.

That might have been a little foreshadowing.

It should have been a little signal to foreshadowing. Like, this is awesome. Cool football game.

It was great.

I have a question for you guys, and I don't know the answer to it. Do you remember Hunter Renfro?

Yeah.

Was he not good? Yeah, I thought he was pretty good.

I think he was just Derek Carr's pet.

So what's going on, beast at Clemson? What's the deal with Hunter Renfro?

I think he just got old. He got old fast.

Well, yeah.

Remember he was balding at Clemson?

Yeah.

But he still should be good, right?

Yeah.

I don't know. It's weird. Did he get injured? I think he got injured. It might have taken a little something. Maybe his wiggle. Took his wiggle out of him.

Might have, because he was, like, a legitimately good wide receiver.

Hunter Renfro is 27 years old. When did he get injured?

As old as Randall Cobb.

And what was his injury?

Hip.

Was it a hip?

Oh, that would be bad if he got hip rib injury. No, he didn't get that injured.

This might be McDaniels. Just like, I feel like he tries to be Belichick so hard that when he goes into a new environment, he might just pick one dude and be like, that guy's in my doghouse. As an example. Let that be a lesson to all of you. Like, Hunter Renfro probably didn't kiss his ass on day one. And McDaniel's like, I'm going to get control of this team. First thing to do, just completely alienate the one player that's been trying really hard for the last couple of years here.

Yeah, last year he only played ten games. That's like his started one.

That's his brandon Marshall.

New Brandon Marshall. Get 1000 yards in 2021.

Yeah, he was good.

He was good. Weird.

Just free hunter Renfro.

Free Hunter.

Let somebody else have him.

Yeah.

You know, Belichick would kill for a guy like that.

Yeah.

I don't even think no, he wasn't even on the field today, I don't think. Okay. Anything else?

Sink.

No, should have covered.

Should have covered.

That one was tough. And you did the thing where you were looking at your phone before and you knew that it was going to happen.

Yeah, I checked the live ODS and it said that the Raiders had 21 points. I was like, that doesn't make sense.

Unless and you're like, oh, here comes a safety. And then I was like, oh, shit. Credit to you, Hank. And you're like, no, I looked.

Pain. Zero fun, sir. I've just been saying that. Remember the Titans quote, zero fun, sir. Do you think football is fun? Yeah, zero fun, sir.

Listen, I could teach you. Do you go to the tankathon? NFL Tankathon? No, I'll teach you some things. Look at this. You go to NFL Tankathon and they have the updated I just feel like.

The Patriots do the thing where draft.

Order every single Sunday they update it, so right.

What do we have right now?

But it's fun. You just refresh it every time.

Yeah, but you got two hard games coming. Be you might climb up there a little bit.

Hank yeah. Games are weird because it's actually your strength of schedule is the tiebreaker. There will be if you play bad teams and you lose to bad teams, it's actually better for you.

There'll be like a jolt in the arm that you get when Malik Cunningham starts a game.

Yeah, that's what I'm just rooting I want to root for something. I want to get excited.

All right, so just get this website. I'm here every day. I refresh it every day. I'll start sending it to you. Check it out, dude. Here, let's see the I think they even do a little mock draft at the bottom right now, it's Caleb Williams and Marvin Harrison Jr. Oh, here you go, Hank. This is something to be excited about right now. It has you mocked at taking Joe Alt offensive tackle from Notre Dame. That would be classic. Six Ricky Jacob tackle. Listen, you got to build around the trenches. That's a fact.

Build around the lighthouse.

Build around the lighthouse. All right. Rams 26, Cardinals nine. We did stupidly bet tie and it looked like we had a chance for a second.

Yeah.

It was in play in the fourth quarter.

The Cardinals did their thing where the first half, they actually played really well. They just didn't score touchdowns. They were only getting field goals. And then the Rams in the second half were like, wait, we're better than them. Cooper cup looks like he's completely fine. He had 148 yards in a touchdown. And the Rams yeah, the Rams did what they should have done in the second half. They ran the ball down their throat, they passed off play action, and they wasted the Cardinals.

So fun stat about the Cardinals that we'll have to remember for next weekend. The Cardinals in the first half are one of the best teams in the NFL.

Yeah.

The Cardinals, in first half the season, they outscore their opponent 97 to 64 in the first half. That's a pretty big gap for the Cardinals in the second half, they get outscored 98 to 30.

That's like all that Giants game, though.

A lot of it's. But no, I think they lost every second half that they've been in.

Yeah, no.

I think they had six points second half. So they had seven points in the second half against the Cowboys and the Cowboys had six, I think.

Yeah.

But yeah, the Cardinals are just very good in the first half.

Yeah.

Good game plan.

Yeah.

And then no adjustments. And then if you're hypothetically trying to tank a season, you would just not make any adjustments going to the second half.

Smart.

You have fight in the first half and then you lose in the second half.

Yeah.

I mean, the Cardinals, they did do their thing in the first half. And fun fact in it, if the.

Season ended today, the Rams would be in the playoffs.

The Rams would be in the playoffs.

They'd be the 7th seed right now.

I believe that's crazy.

Unless no, nothing should have changed after.

I mean, they I wouldn't be shocked if they make it to the fucking they're a good team. And it goes back to my theory. We're going to talk about the Bucks and Lions, but if you win a Super Bowl, you still have Super Bowl players.

Yeah.

It's not five years ago, it's two years ago. Three years ago. Two years ago. Two years ago.

Two years ago.

Yeah. The Rams are, let's see yeah, I think they're in the playoffs.

I can't wait till the playoff machine gets fired up. That thing is awesome.

Yeah.

Well, Tankethon also has that.

Oh, yeah. That's really sad that I didn't know.

That means that I've just never been.

To that part of the site.

Yeah. God damn.

He shut the scroll down.

Yeah.

I had no idea.

Jake, give us the playoff standings today.

So the Chiefs would be getting the buy number two Dolphins against number seven Browns.

That'd be an awesome matchup. That's what we want.

Ready for this? Three Ravens, six Steelers throw out the record boat, and then four Jags, five Bills.

Wow.

Those would be fun games.

Yeah.

And the NFC Eagles get to buy niners Rams two seven.

Okay.

That'd be fun. Shanahan gets his revenge, maybe on McVeigh.

This is my Monday night prediction. Lions hosting the cowboys.

Yep.

And then Bucks hosting the Seahawks.

I like, it wild.

Yeah.

I didn't even know that existed.

Fuck.

That's really sad. I just scrolled by it to the draft.

Yikes.

Current week schedule.

Okay.

Lions, $20.06. The Lions are maybe the best team in the NFC. I know. That there's niners. I know. But the Lions didn't lose today, and the Eagles and the Niners lost, so we have to, by law, give the Lions their credit, which they are a very good team. They're the best team in the NFC.

They are. I would say the way things went today, they don't take games off. No, the Seahawks are a good team that went into Detroit and kind of had their way with them.

Off of Seahawks loss, right?

Yeah, off a Seahawks loss in week one. But it wasn't like the Giants laid.

Down for them or the Lions.

Yeah, it wasn't like the Lions laid down for the Seahawks in that game. We had an all time bad punt today by Tod Bowles. Todd Bowles was down by 14 points in the fourth quarter. Eleven minutes left, they were on the Tampa Bay 33, down by 14, and they punted on fourth and two.

Yikes.

And Tod Bowles has an addiction to punting on fourth and two late in the game. Not a good goal. They've done that before. In 2016. He punted on fourth and two from his own 46 when the jets were down 24 to 13 with seven minutes left. Both times, Tod Bowles said that he thought that there was too much time on the clock to go for it, and then both times, the other team just killed the game with a it's.

He's not a good coach. And I know that the same could be said about my theory, like, oh, yeah, you still have Super Bowl players. I don't think the Bucks are that good. I know that they're three and three, but their wins are against the Vikings, the Bears and the Saints, three and two. Their wins, though, against, like they've stepped up twice. They stepped up against the Eagles, stepped up against the Lions. Both home games, and they got outclassed.

But you don't have to be very good to win that division.

No, it's true. They could be a playoff team. But I just remind me, Jake, if the Bucks make the playoffs, bet against them, because if they have to play any of these other teams, there's a difference, and you see it when they played the Lions and the Eagles.

So I was thinking about this out loud earlier today. Is there any chance so Baker Mayfield right now playing he didn't play great today. He didn't play awful today. He had some nice throws.

The Lions defense is very good. Aaron Glenn's done an insane job with that defense.

Very, very good. They're a very good defense, and just their entire roster is awesome. And now they have Jameson Williams back, who is fast as it's it seems like the Lions truly are one of the top two or three teams in the NFC, and today they were the best team in the NFC. But is there any chance that Baker Mayfield could win comeback Player of the Year? Or is it just going to be DeMar no matter what? Probably just it's the it's the writers that vote on it.

Right.

So writers love a storyline, and they're going to vote for tomorrow. It should be.

Cooper cup.

Yeah, Cup's up there.

Cooper cup. If he puts up, like, over a thousand yards and starts racking up all these touchdowns, the Lions Nathaniel Hackett should.

Be eligible for coming back from coaching Russ Wilson.

Yeah.

Come back, coach of the yeah.

Yeah.

Anyone associated with Russ Wilson. Jared was awesome today, and he lost his so Jamir Gibbs got hurt, what, a couple weeks ago. David Montgomery got hurt in this game. They had to go to their third string, Craig Reynolds, who they didn't run the ball. That great. But Craig Reynolds gets Block of the Year nomination. Yeah, that block where he looked like he came off of the bench, he came out of nowhere to spring Amon RA for that touchdown. That was an awesome block, I'd say that.

And then George Pickens block that he had on Monday Night Football, those are the top two blocks of the year so far.

But that was an insane block. And that also just speaks to, like, the Lions have that vibe of next man up. Every guy can contribute in some way and yeah, Jared's fucking good. You want to know a crazy stat? The Lions have scored over 20 points in 15 straight games.

That is crazy.

Yeah.

So now that the 49 Ers didn't score 20 points, I think the 49 Ers were at, like, 13 or 14. The second team in the NFL to score 20 point streak is the Chargers at seven. The Lions have 15 straight 20 point games from their offense.

Yeah.

Their offense score and how their defense is good. Their defense has held, I think, four out of six games to 20 or less. Guess what? I'm not a mathematician but if you score more than 20 every game and you hold the opponent to 20 or less, I think that means you win.

It means you're good.

Yeah.

Means you're a good team. I'm so happy for Lions fans, too, that they get to go to these road trips and you'll see stadiums. Like, was it Raymond James? Yeah, Raymond James had a shitload of Lions fans. When they play against the Chargers in a couple weeks, that's going to be mostly Lions fans.

Oh, yeah.

In Los Angeles, you get to go to these warm weather destinations and you get to be excited about taking a football vacation.

Yeah.

Like Lions fans took a lot of sad football vacations in their past because they would still go to games. But now it's like you have an excuse to go to a game and you're probably going to win. I'm just pumped for them. I'm pumped for the city of Detroit. I'm pumped for everyone that had to get out of bed on Thanksgiving. The saddest thing ever must have been for Lions fans to wake up on Thanksgiving, put on their face paint, put on the Pilgrim outfit, the Pilgrim outfit, and then go to a Thanksgiving Day game instead of hanging out with their family just to get their teeth kicked in year after year. Now you get to go to fun football.

This think about this. There are a lot of people out there, a lot listening to the show right now who are Lions fans and Michigan fans.

Yeah.

Your football weekends rock.

Yeah.

You just basically go to every weekend. Friday comes around, you're like, what am I going to do this weekend? I'm going to watch both my teams kick ass. So this is why the awesome this.

Is why the auto workers strike might actually last longer than you'd think because they're pumped. They get a whole fall. Their football teams are good.

You don't have to go to work.

Yeah.

You know how much that would rock if you just got off work for an entire fall and your football teams were like the best in their entire leagues, it would be the best.

I'm very excited for next week Lions at Ravens because I feel like that's a good test for both teams. Let's play Whose Line Is Anyway?

Lions at Ravens. I'm going to say I'm going to.

Say Ravens minus one. Two and a half.

One and a half. Ravens, one and a half.

Ravens minus two and a half.

Okay. Good call.

I feel like if that goes to three, people will bet the Lions, which I probably will be in that camp. Yeah, that's going to be a great game. And I also like the was this game. They've proven it. They've won three games on the road. They've beaten the Chiefs, the packers and the Bucks all on the road. They just beat anyone anywhere except the Seahawks. They haven't beaten them last two years. Okay, that is it. That's all of our games. Should we do the Rowback question? Rowback.com promo code, take 20% off your first purchase. Qzips, polos, hoodies, joggers shorts, rowback.com promo code, take go check it out right now. I'm wearing the Joggers right now. I wear them all weekend long. They're the best. Roback question hank, who's back of the week? My.

Who's back of the week is the future.

Oh, yeah. I think you have mine.

Yeah.

Go off.

We talk about how this is the best time of the year for sports. NHL is back. Season just started and the NBA preseason is going and they actually play players in the preseason. So get to see Conor Berdard, which is exciting being in Chicago.

The city's excited that's regular season.

Yeah, no, I know the NHL is back, but the NBA Victor Weigna victor we've been playing in the preseason. He looks like he's going to be the greatest player of all time.

I've never seen anybody, the way he plays defense, play basketball. Like he they can't shoot.

Yeah.

You just can't cover on the court. They were afraid to take three pointers and layups on the same possession because Wimbanyama with his giant arms and his gigantic hands, can cover. He puts like a dome over the rim. It's insane.

Yeah.

And then he took an alleyoup. He like, passed the ball to his teammate, took one step, pointed up in the air, and they just throw the ball to him and he dunks it without even jumping. He's breaking basketball.

Credit to us. We called it we called it credit.

To the media for accurately predicting that Wimbanyama was going to be good. He's so good. I did put a bet on the spurs to win their division. Just because you never know who's in the spurs. You never know. The Southwest, the Mavericks, all the Texas.

Teams, the Mavericks, the NBA divisions have to be the most pointless.

They're so pointless.

I think you get like a special seed if you win it, though.

I think you're guaranteed not anymore.

You used to I don't know if you still do it's.

The Rockets. The Thunder, right?

The rockets, the thunder, the mavs the mavs the spurs.

It is the three Texas teams, the Pelicans and the Grizzlies. So it's not the Thunder, the Thunder or the Northwest.

Northwest. Northwest. They were the Sonics.

That would confuse the shit out of Paul Biscuit.

Yeah, no, they're the dumbest. Those are the dumbest things. Like why?

Yeah, but think about that. So they basically have to be better than the Matter. Here's how dumb.

Kyrie is going to blow that team up.

I watched like a 45 2nd clip of Wimbanyama in a preseason game and I was like, well, he broke basketball. Yeah. No one can play basketball with him on the court against and so you never know.

Never know. Pop has got to be very excited at one point. I don't know.

If this is still accurate, but you're automatically given the top three seeds if you win, your division might be, I.

Don'T know, at one point?

Yes.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Not anymore.

We talked a little on the live.

Stream about this, but, yeah, that definitely can't be the case.

Yeah, I don't think it is not the case.

Do you think that right now, Wimanyama could put on a football uniform and go out there and fix the Seahawks red zone problems just by running into the end zone and jumping, like, a foot up into the air?

And we went down our football memory because I mentioned Joseph Fourier, who is from UCLA, who played for the Lions, and he had, like, these crazy games where I think the stat I read out loud was three catches, 34 yards, three touchdowns. They would literally just get down. I think it was only a league for, like, a year and a half, but he had eight touchdowns, and that's exactly what they do. You have a game, like, one catch, ten yards, touchdown, and think about how.

Much better Wimbanyama would be, even than that guy, because he's 74.

I know.

With huge hands.

I wouldn't fucking let him off the line.

Yeah, just jam him up. But that's the thing, is he's got arms like Dulceim from Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat or whatever.

Smack him.

Just hand right to your chest and then just throw the ball up in the air. You can't stop.

Great.

2015 and 16. Each division winner was guaranteed a top four seed.

Yeah, so it hasn't been there. So it was the dumbest thing in the world.

And then Badard. I liked how he scored a point.

That was fucked up, what you did the other night.

He scored a point in his first.

Fucked up what you did the other night.

I was watching the game.

It's hockey, it's not basketball. Hank texted the group saying, Badard's hurt.

He went down, he got injured, and they cut to commercial. I didn't have the sound on.

Still a bad.

But I liked how he scored a point his first game and they won. So in the picture afterwards, holding the puck, he was smiling, and he scored his first goal against the Bruins, which they lost in the picture they took with him after he wasn't smiling.

I like that.

That's a gamer.

Gamer.

Gamer.

Yeah.

No, he is a gamer.

I also like how whenever they do the pictures of the guys holding the pucks, they always look like just dip tins.

Yeah.

You think they're holy copenhagen.

We got to get my season tickets. We got to do a whole calendar. Everyone pick a game. Pick multiple games.

Hell yeah.

Split them up.

Yeah.

Hockey's back. We're going to get Wid on next week.

I saw WiFi. Wi Fi threw down with Revo the other night. Oh, really? Battle of the Titans.

We get that.

Wi Fi is so awesome. Yeah, I love them.

All right, PFC, who's your who's back?

I was gonna have Wimby. Wimby was gonna be my who's back. So the future also the future. The future's back again.

Nice.

Oh, brooks Kepka. Yeah, brooks had a nice little weekend, didn't he?

Yeah, he won. Second time he's won. I got a good laugh from the live account. He hold out from a hundred yards away or something in Friday or Saturday. And the top comment was just not as impressive as PFT's Eagle.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a fact. Kind of seeing that stuff in the.

Wild for the rest of my life, I will be able to say I beat a five time major champion, hopefully on one hole.

Hopefully more than that.

Yeah, at least five times. At least five times, Brooks. Also, I don't know if this is an accurate quote or not, because I can never tell online, like, which are the real live coverage accounts and which ones are fake.

What?

Just in general, I thought were going to say you can't tell what's real and what's fake.

Oh, that's fine, Hank.

Good call.

I'm sorry that you're taking your stinking patriots out on me and your fake lighthouse. You've been getting duped a lot. You don't know what a lighthouse is, Hank. You don't know what a lighthouse is. Bottom line. And you're lashing out. And I understand that and it's okay. Brooks said that they only have three guys on their team on Smash.

I think Chase got relegated.

He's like throwing them under the bus.

No, he got relegated.

Oh, so they lost.

They do relegation and he got relegated.

Fuck.

So, Brooks, I mean, looking to add, I've said, I will do anything for $100 million. Yeah, anything.

Do it. All right. My who's back of the week is a new trend. It's called silent walking.

Oh, I saw that.

Yeah.

So I don't know if you guys ever done this, but walking without your phone, this is a really cool new I don't understand how it's become like a TikTok trend, because you're not supposed to have your phone. That was my big question. But it's a new Gen Z trend. I'm going to hold myself back from just being like, grumpy old man, because when you read these articles, you're like, what the fuck? So they call it silent walking. That is, going for a walk without their phones or without listening to music, podcasts, or any sort of technology or technological distraction. Podcaster. Maddie Mayo takes credit for unintentionally starting a movement that she promises will change your life. So she in a video on TikTok again, don't really understand that part. She explains her boyfriend was the one who first challenged her to take walk without any distractions. No AirPods, no podcast, no music. Just me, myself and I, she said in the video, which has now gained almost 500,000 views. And at first I was like, Fuck, no. My anxiety could never which is probably what you're thinking, but something within me was like, let me just try it.

So she's like, this is very bold. She's like, Let me just try to walk without my phone. She said that in the first two minutes of her walk, there was mayhem until she hit a flow state when suddenly you can hear yourself. I fucking hate this so much.

Did she say that? I didn't think I could ever do this with my anxiety.

Yeah.

Wouldn't it be more calming? Her boyfriend's definitely cheating on her, by the way. Yeah. He's like, hey, I got a new challenge for you. Can you leave the house?

Yeah.

Without your phone?

Yeah, it's the go it's the go away challenge.

He said, look, the universe and your intuition comes to you through whispers. So if you've never alone with your thoughts and you never get quiet, you're going to miss the whispers. This person has never had an inner dialog?

No.

She's like, what's this strange feeling I'm experiencing? Oh, it's thinking.

I have an inner dialog every day.

To her defense, it does suck when you're, like, walking to work and your headphones die and you're like, Fuck, now I have to think about things.

Yeah.

Gen Z. I mean, it's not like.

A life changing experience, but you're not telling.

It didn't take with you.

Nothing takes with me. But all I'm saying is that you're telling me that you're not like that's.

Oh, yeah, of course it does. But it's more the fact that they are like, we have to go walk without our phones to actually think. I think a lot. Same. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of thinking.

I got multiple dialogs.

Like, right now, am I going to take the Chargers money line or the points? That's a lot of thinking.

There's some controversy around the silent walk thing.

Big Cat because she has her phone.

Well, there's that's one. She's documenting her silent walk somehow. But apparently someone else started the silent walk trend in January by New York City influencer Arielle Lore.

Ariel Lore. Someone else learned to walk?

Yeah, so she walked, and she talked about the action on her podcast in April. And she said, I feel like when I walk in silence, my senses are on high alert. Like a blind person can all of a sudden they can hear better. They can smell better. She says, I smell everything. I hear everything. I'm seeing everything, and it's so grounding for me.

Oh, that's beautiful.

So regardless of whoever started it, I'm in favor of people walking.

Yeah, we've remax walking.

I saw your five K. You're in favor of walking as well.

Go watch. It part of my take.

YouTube.

What are you doing? Memes? Memes. There's just a bunch of dogs humping the statues on this movie that Will Ferrell might have stole from you guys.

Yeah, it's okay.

Wait, what the fuck?

It's boner dogs. Is it really strays. They made Boner Dogs r rated movie about toss.

Well, that sucks. This is like, in what is it?

Fuck. What's?

The movie with Seth Rogen. Knocked up. Knocked up. When they spent all that time trying to invent, like, porn, they made Mr.

Skin skin. Yeah.

So we just been trying so hard with Boner Dogs, and Will Ferrell just made it.

Well, maybe putting out the entire plot of our genius comedy movie.

I think we had Will ferrell attached.

He was. He was attached. Maybe just talking about it constantly wasn't the greatest idea in terms of oh, the dogs are swearing operational security.

Damn it. What do they sound like? They sound cool.

If one sounds like look, they're all.

Peeing at the same get.

Very, very angry.

Oh, man, we got fucking swaggerjacked. This is what Maddie Mayo probably thinks. Now that there's the NYC influencer. Okay, we got to come up with a trend. Sleeping.

I like that. You can call it prolonged meditation. Prolonged nocturnal meditation.

Yeah.

You ever just sleep and then if you just shut off your brain, sometimes you can dream?

Not with my anxiety. I could not do that.

All right, Jake, finish us off.

My who's back is playing basketball on a football.

Yeah. Yeah.

Iowa women's basketball. Played DePaul in cancer fundraiser at Kinnick Stadium. It was really cool. They did the wave. That's always the attendance record. It was really cool to see.

Yeah, they did the wave.

Yeah.

Okay, well, the wave wave to the oh, that wave.

Yeah.

Cancer patient.

The other wave.

I was like, what? Who cares?

I saw the diagram of how they built that basketball court. Yeah, it's only really one side gets a view.

Right?

Because they build it in an end zone.

Yeah, that's how the Dome at Syracuse does it too. You don't realize it watching.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it's in an end zone.

Oh, that stinks.

And they bring out the bleachers.

Also, it's the Carrier Dome and doesn't have AC, and they change the name.

It's still the Carrier Dome, but yeah, really cool stuff.

How many points did Caitlin Clark have? I'm ready to declare her.

Oh, wow. You don't know. You don't know. This is a men's game.

Yeah, that's definitely Hank. You would definitely cancel.

Cancel him. He doesn't care about the women's game. He is actually the worst type of white knight. Yeah, right. Women's game.

30, 411, and ten. And you didn't triple double.

You just found out, so you can't pretend like that's shocking. Canceled.

Sorry.

Canceled.

Canceled. Learn women.

Learn women. One time. Name a woman.

Any woman.

Jake, name a woman.

Pat Summit College.

Like, name a current woman.

She's dead.

Okay, name a woman.

Name a woman.

Oh, wow.

Diana Tarazi.

Oh, okay.

Thinking of women. Notable women in basketball.

All right, name a non basketball woman.

Serena Williams.

Who's in the WNBA. Sports woman.

Michelle Obama.

Oh, we said a woman.

Oh, Jesus. Would it matter if Michelle Obama was not a woman?

Las Vegas aces versus New York Liberty. And the Liberty extended the series today. And Jason today.

All right, fine.

You only know it because there was a man on the sidelines.

Yeah, Sue Bird was on the sidelines, too. Okay, great show, boys.

Should have just said your mom.

Yeah.

Marlin's band taught us that.

I'm still, like, uncomfortable from that call.

Yeah. Okay. Numbers 318 69 have you ever gotten this? Memes? No. New lottery ball in a week.

Two.

New lottery ball machine. Where is it?

48.

20. Where is the new lottery ball machine? You don't know? Henry, it's out there. So it's not going to be in a week?

It exists.

Is it going to be here in a week?

Depends what you mean by here.

Okay.

27. Oh, fuck.

That's the one I did last.

Wait, he's more mad about this. The Eagles in the game.

That also isn't true. Big moments. I got mad and then you guys.

Would be like, oh, no, here he is for everyone. Max is getting game one. Game two, we can watch at home. Game three, we will, you know, game one.

Game two, little pallet cleanser.

Thursday Night Football. We'll stream with the Phillies. That will be what's your prediction, Max, before we let everyone go? Well, you already said sweep. What's? Everyone?

I didn't say sweep. I did not say sweep.

You said they're going to play four games this week. Phil's in four.

Phil's in six. I think it's Phil's in four.

Phillies in five.

Phil's in six.

Phillies.

I agree with Max.

Max knows the doesn't. You don't know anything about the Eagles right now, but you got your finger on the pulse of the Phil's.

Actually, you know what?

Phillies and six.

Fuck it. Diamondbacks in seven. I like Dan Heron. He's my friend. Diamondbacks in seven.

Yeah.

Memes.

Diamondbacks in six.

Oh, Shane, you want to go diamondbacks and five? Do we get a diamondbacks?

Five good.

I didn't want four dimebacks of four.

Good.

I didn't want a full room of Billy.

Okay. All right.

We'll see everyone on Wednesday.

Love you guys. I don't know what anyway today is on my day to find you shine away I'll be coming for your lover shine away I'll be coming for your lover

better to be taking the summer stay out to me I forgot to be taking the chomp. You little I just play my weathering way you all think I've got to remember shine away shine you take on me.