Noah. Cyrus, her 24 year old daughter, was seeing Dominic before Tish and him got together. Messy. This is messy. He was apparently dating Noah, the daughter, but now he is married to Tish.

Yeah. Their mother, Miley and Noah's mother.

Well, we're back in the saddle. Oh, Chandler, it has been too long. Has it? It honestly know it has. I genuinely love this podcast.

I love recording with you. I actually had a big come to Jesus moment with myself about this podcast on my trip. I feel like it's personal, though. Wait, maybe we can. I want to hear it.

You kidding me? Debrief. Okay. I'm not sure that it's very interesting to people when we get meta about this show. No pun intended, miss.

I think it's interesting to people. I mean, not to speak for our audience, but I think it's relatively interesting. I'll tell you if you get boring. How about that? And you can just shut up.

Perfect. You can be my barometer. So I think I do this song and dance. Like, I was out at dinner the other week with some friends, and they all have very serious jobs. They're, like, fundraising for businesses, and they do things that are more serious.

And I think I do this little tap dance routine where, oh, you know, just me shaking it for tips on Instagram. And I'm always, like. I feel like I always kind of say the greatest luxury is being. Just say, I'm sort of distracted by what you're wearing right now. Did you get dressed in a garten's closet?

Okay, let me just, first of all, say, I guess I'll come back to my tail. Is this not a gorgeous linen set? It's very pretty. I think it's just. Oh, it's really pretty.

Oh, wow. She just hopped up on her chair so I could see the full length. Kick your leg up in the air for me. Gorgeous. Gorgeous.

No, it is very pretty. I think I was distracted by how beautiful it was, frankly. Oh, thank you. Okay. One of my favorite parts of India was the shopping.

I got some incredible clothing. I found some really good brands. Yes. Such fun, good stuff. And also, I will say the price points are very good.

You would pay close to double, I think, if this set was on Goop or was on Netaporter, you could easily be like, that's a 425 price completely. No, exactly. And I found these brands, and you can still get them from the US, and it's like $150 for the full set. $100 for the full set. Why didn't you get me a souvenir?

You didn't give me any souvenir. I'm entering a new era of frugality as I prepare for my summer, and so you are the first person to hit the chopping block. You do often get me gifts that I don't deserve. It's true. I was actually expecting a little something from India, and especially if I wanted to stay in my apartment for free.

Something, anything. I wanted to get you something. Wanted to get Courtney something. I wanted to get McCall and Ashley something, but I'm trying to be less generous. It's one of my New Year's resolutions that means nothing.

But thanks. I'm glad that you thought of us and then decided against it. Okay, back did come to Jesus moment. Anyway, I just had this moment with Kagan where I was talking to him, and I'm like, I don't know why I always say that, why I always downplay the podcast and talk about it. I'm just so embarrassing.

And whatever I was like, because I don't think that's true. I was like, I think that even if I got to a certain position, I just don't think that I would want to quit. I think I would literally double down and just pour money, more money into it. Honestly, it's too much fun to quit. It's literally so much fun.

It is so much fun to have an opportunity to talk about things that I deeply care about, that you deeply care about, that matter to us, that I think we need to raise awareness about. Right. Like, are Jackson, Brittany actually splitting up? Right. What is going on with Kristen Cavalier's 24 year old boyfriend?

These are the types of things I want to talk about, regardless, Chandler, of whether I need to shake it for tips or not. No. Unfortunately, this is what we are naturally good at. Somehow, when God was forming both you and know, he or she, they decided that we were going to be experts at celebrity gossip, not at Stem, nothing math or science related, nothing of the sort. No.

When we were being formed in the pre mortal existence, 100%, it was not, this is going to be a great violinist. This is going to be a great cellular biologist. It was. This is going to be a great shit talker. This is going to be a really great shit talker.

And that was us. And here we are. Anyway, I guess my point is I love it so much, and I'm literally. I never want to stop. I'm glad you had this moment, because this brings me to something I wasn't sure if I was going to share because I wasn't sure how relevant it was.

Going to be, but I think it's actually very relevant to this moment. I was on Reddit last night scrolling before I went to sleep, and I came across like an ask Reddit thread that was particularly relevant to this podcast. Let me just read it to you for a second. Okay? Please.

This is a quick little moment. The ask Reddit thread is what is something you will never give an f about. Okay. Okay. And can I just tell you what 99% of the responses were, please?

Celebrities. Of course. Oh, my God. Every single person. And the Kardashians, any celebrity, whatever is happening with any given celebrity.

And I had this moment where I was like, wow, I am really concerning myself with something people do not care about or people pride themselves on not caring about. And it's very annoying to me. Here's the thing. I actually think everyone deep down does care and does want to talk about it. It's just how seriously do you take yourself and how in denial are you about the things you actually want to discuss?

Right? How much are you living for the idea of who you are and how much are you just enjoying your authentic self? Anyway, that's a question for other people to internalize, ponder, and discuss with their. Yeah, yeah, agreed. Anyway, I will share the deeds of my set and the great India finds on close friends on Instagram, and that's going to be a big drop coming at you.

And I don't know, I'm just going to give it to the close friends. Wow, look at the charity work you're doing. It's amazing. It's amazing. So we're back recording for the first time in weeks.

I really did miss you as well. I found myself that first week that you were gone and off the grid and really hard to get in contact with, like yearning to talk to you. And that usually doesn't happen. In fact, I would say typically when you call me, I sort of get a little bit of tension in my shoulders and neck. Dread, for sure is a word I would come to mind because it's typically a business related thing.

It's 745 and Lauren's. Like, I got a few podcast ideas I want to tell you. Call me when you can. Exactly. But I missed you.

I missed chatting with you. I missed you, too. And I felt like a lot went on and so it was tough to not have this podcast as an outlet to discuss it all. I know, it's true. Okay.

But before we get to. Actually, I have a few things I want to discuss before we get to the pop culture content of the episode. The first is a quick little New York tale. So, everyone, Chandler generously lent me her Manhattan home for when I was stopping through. We had a very long day of travel.

I'm almost traumatized by the leaving India experience. I almost said escape. That story is going to be on Patreon this week. But anyway, I was traumatized by this travel, and so you very kindly allowed us to stay at your place. It's true.

Which was heavenly. Go like this. You messed up your hair.

How long am I going to let this go on for? I think that looks good. It's like you took the comb, like when mom used to comb back comb her hair. Okay. Thank you.

Anyway, so long story short, Kagan and I were there for one night and we went to daily provisions for breakfast. Okay, ready for that? Love it. And I needed to finish out the roll of film in my camera because I dropped my camera film off at a lab in New York. Okay.

And we were in daily provisions, and it was raining outside, so there was, like, nowhere really for me to take pictures except for inside daily provisions. So anyway, I just had so glad I wasn't there. My big film camera out, like, taking pictures in the mirror. Taking a picture of cake with the bag. Taking pictures of full blown hipster 2012 photo adventure photo shoot.

Pictures of me eating the croissant just because I'm trying to get through 15 frames. You should have just wasted the film. And nobody wants to see those images. What's hilarious about I don't even want to see them? I think what's hilarious about it, too, is like, daily provisions is a chain.

It's like. It's not even like, that rare in New York. No. Yeah, exactly. It's like taking pictures out of Dunkin donuts at this point.

Anyway. I can't wait to see those photos. Did Kaden love us? The photo shoot? I mean, I'm sure he request did it.

I'm sure he was like, can you take some photos of me? Hey, when we go out to breakfast this morning, I would love it if you could just get a few shots of me. No, he was looking at me with death eyes. Absolutely not. Anyway, but you enjoyed your lodgings, you enjoyed your stay.

I enjoyed my stay. I did run into a high school friend, which is crazy in your build up. Yeah. You're lying. You're absolutely.

No, I'm lying. I'm not lying. I can tell when you're lying. Do the corners of your mouth, like, turn up a little bit? I'm not lying.

I'm just laughing because you think this is so far fetched that I have no friends in high school. No, it was just, like, in my building. In your building? Yeah. This is Hugh Janus.

Oh, my gosh. I feel like we should quit this podcast because the content is just not good enough anyway. Wow. Okay. I thought that would be a good segue to Kate Middleton's gastrointestinal issue.

How long have you been on that joke for? Well, it was a joke my friends played on me in India. My friend was like, oh, I just ran into my high school know. It's so crazy. Ran into him, yada yada.

And she's like, yeah, Hugh Janus. And that was like, the know. Well, it's funny because I was like, Lauren would have a friend named Hugh Janus.

Sounds like some philosopher king noise. Exactly. Person Quartz. Hugh Janus is her friend. Oh, my gosh.

I'm excited for you to give us the tales of your travels on the, you know, enough about you. I have now switched coasts with you. I am back at mom and dad's house. Deborah had surgery. She is fine.

She is healthy, but I am just helping her recover. And this past week, I got my very first Botox appointment, got my very first round of Botox. Can I tell you a sisterly act of charity that I did for you? Barely respond to my text messages. I did not turn you onto the new account I found called never Talks, which came across my screen.

And basically, it's like stories of people's lives being ruined by Botox. Anyway, I was like, something you would love. She's going to be fine. I don't need to. So far, so good.

Yeah. Although I got it done and I don't know. When does it kick in? Kicks in about a week later. Because I was like, I'm still moving.

I can still pretty much move my face completely. No, you'll have relaxed movements in about a week. He's not going to completely freeze you. Can I say as well, on this day that I went to go get Botox, I also decided to take myself on a little shopping. Know, I'd been busy all week taking care of mom, and so I decided to go to one of my favorite stores, which is Brandy Melville.

Brandy Melville is definitely. It's time to grow up. It's not the most politically correct store I know. It only sells one size. In a lot of things, that is upsetting.

I'm a work in progress, people. I'm a work in progress. But as I was in, you know, freshly out of my Botox appointment, my very first Botox appointment. I just had a little bit of an age cris. Okay.

That's what I'm going to say. I feel like if you're getting Botox, maybe it's time to keep walking past Brandy Melville. No, because the basics are so good there. The shirts. I'm not going there for, like, a shirt that says Venice beach.

Okay. I'm going there for basics. I got a gorgeous set of pointel pajama pants that are gorgeous, that were very well priced. Anyway, as I'm standing in line, there's just teeny boppers everywhere. Nobody there is buying stuff with their hard earned money.

I'm the only person there who's buying things with money that I've earned. The girls behind me, can I just tell you the snippet of a conversation with the girls behind me that really sent me into the stratosphere? Yeah. The girl goes, I think I want to work at Sephora when I'm 16. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. That is embarrassing that you're shopping in the same place as people who aren't of legal age to work. It was terrible. It was terrible. There was something really sad about, okay, I just paid all this money to go have stuff shot into my face to look younger.

And then these bitches are, like, dreaming about where they're going to work when they turn 16, when they can get a worker's permit. Did you turn around and say, me too? I've been scheming. I was thinking about golden spoon, where my sister worked. Jamba juice.

Because I have connections at Jamba juice and golden spoon. My sister actually used to work here. She can put in a good word for me. That reminds me. I'm, like, over babysitting.

That reminds me of my favorite tale of working when I was in high school, when I was working at Golden Spoon, I was like, 14 behind the counter and yogurt shop. You ordered a soft serve from me, and before I gave it to you, I licked the top. Do you remember this? I don't. And then I handed it to you, and then I didn't think anything of it.

So then you left. And anyway, and then I ate it. The lady behind you was like, looked with horrified eyes, of course. And then something happened. I was like, oh, that's my sister.

She's like, oh, good. I thought. I didn't know you did that for everyone. Anyway, just sisterly love. Sisterly hijinks.

Should we get into today's hot Topics? Let's get if people are like, enough of. It's a yogurt shop.

Enough walks down memory lane. Okay, let's talk about Kate Middleton, because everyone. The palace announced. Kensington palace announced that Kate Middleton would be out. Okay.

But she was having gastrointestinal. Well, they said she was having abdominal surgery. Surgery beneath her abdomen. Could be a tummy. Could.

Who knows what it could be? It could be endometriosis. Could be. Who knows? But they said she was having abdominal surgery and she would be out till after Easter.

Right. That would not be her first public appearance. So people at first were, like, a little bit weirded out and concerned, like, what could require two weeks in the hospital? People were like, two weeks is a long time to be in the hospital. It's a long time.

Yeah. Especially when you're Kate Middleton and I'm sure you have private nurses and could have complete. So you. If you need to be where the hospital is. That's a little.

Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. Also, people are very up in arms about it because there was no photos of her leaving the hospital, and there really has been nothing. No photos, no evidence of her existence since she entered the hospital.

And so I think people are also really concerned, like, what is going on? Why is she on such lockdown and rumors? Additionally. Yeah, additionally, we always get pictures of the royal family in front of the hospital. They love a little know step and repeat.

They love a hospital moment. They love a hospital moment. So it really is kind of suspicious. Yeah. I mean, for someone who was on the steps, I think that's at St.

Mary's with all her pregnancies, doing the step and repeat, it was very concerning. And so rumors are really swirling. I personally predicted that she either got a facelift or she got a hysterectomy. I read that that can take a long time to recover from. Wow.

But there's new rumors swirling that we're going to, I guess, help spread. You ready? Okay. This is what God put us on this earth to do. It's true.

So right now, the prevailing theory is that she has, unfortunately, horribly, Crohn's disease and actually has a colostomy bag. I think that's how you. Oh, my gosh. A colostomy bag right now. And that's why she is not in public view at all.

Yeah. And if you don't know, a colostomy bag. I mean, also, by the way, this is just what they're saying on the dark corners of the underworld and the Internet. Okay? This is not reported by people and confirmed by sources.

This is just what we've uncovered. Internet theories, gossip. Exactly. But on the dark web. This is what they're saying.

They're saying that she has Crohn's disease. She had a procedure for that, and she has a clostomy bag right now. A colostomy bag is basically what. It's something that's inserted. They insert, basically a tube into your abdomen.

And so instead of emptying your waist through your anus, you empty it through this bag.

I think it can be smelly. It's just a very tricky situation. Yeah. I think it's like a pretty involved affliction. Yes.

And some people have them permanently. Some people only have them as they're recovering. So obviously, if this is even true, we hope that it's a temporary thing for her. But, yeah, I think that it also might explain why she kind of seems like she has a hard time keeping weight on. It's very thin.

They're saying that being underweight is a symptom of Crohn's disease. Wow. That is allegedly what's going on with Kate Middleton, everyone? I also saw something about a bunch of emergency cars rushing to one of the palaces. Like, not the main, not Buckingham, but I think one of the other palaces, like right before Christmas.

Okay. There was like, a bunch of emergency vehicles that rushed to Sandringham, I want to say, or, I don't know, one of the palaces that they were staying at over the holidays. And that's also what has led to this maybe being a more intense moment that maybe was brought on by maybe something bad happened. Maybe there was something that kicked us all off. I guess this is a moment when maybe we should have our research more together.

But there was something off about the initial schedule where she had something scheduled and it was canceled. And so people are thinking that this is just a little something. It's more serious. And I think the palace said it was a plan, procedure or something, which made it seem like routine, not something that was unforeseen or whatever. And then the schedule was cut or something.

And. Yeah. Anyway, not up to us to know all the facts, but just up to us to spread the rumors. That's where our responsibility really begins. That's really what God wanted us to do here on this earth.

He says. So he or she know, these gals, they don't know the facts. They're not going to know the facts ever, but they're going to help spread the. Exactly. Exactly.

So I would say check. Deed done. Check. Good job, Chan. What else is going on in royal world?

I see something else you wanted to talk about on the I came across this headline that I thought was particularly funny. A lot of royal headlines that we see are full blown nothing burgers, and this is very much so the case. But I just thought the headline was funny. And the headline reads, okay, Meghan Markle was, quote, noticeably more tactile than other royals when she joined the family. This is claimed by a photographer.

Can you give us the date on this article? This is in 2024. Lauren. This is a 2024 Daily Mail article. I don't know who is approving or green lighting these articles from the Daily Mail.

I was like, yeah. Anyway, I'm like, are they trying to say that she was more human? She was less, like, lizard person feeling? This is coming from an award winning photographer, Samir Hussein, who captured the famous photo of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex linking arms under an umbrella at the Endeavor Awards in 2020. And he himself described the picture as unusual.

Wow. Chandler, thank you so much for bringing this hard hitting news for our listeners. I mean, I think we're good. Do we need more details? I think where this begins and ends is that.

I think that what he was trying to say is touchy, but maybe tactile is, like, the word that he was choosing to use. I think Meghan and Harry are more comfortable with PDA. And this is really encapsulated in this famous, famous photograph, Lauren, of them under the umbrella. The umbrella. I actually have it framed in mine in Kagan's bedroom.

Did you know that there's going to be a gallery opening displaying this photo? That's what this whole article, I think, was actually like. That's the culmination of this article. Okay. We're not trying to provide an ambient adjacent.

This. I think this is us providing a positive story about Meghan Markle. I'm happy that she. I'm a PDA girl. I'm glad she's the same way.

I feel the same way. Also, the thing I will say about it is when you look at the Mountbatten Windsors and that family, there's famous footage of the queen stepping down after doing her tour somewhere. She was gone for months, and this was when Charles and Anne were, like, two and four, basically very young. Anyways, she gets off the plane. She's been gone for several months, and she literally shakes their hands.

This is their mother. This is their. Is. The children would be presented to her in the morning. And exactly like, here, look.

They have grown one more day. One more day as children attracts, attracts. And I do think that, yes, Meghan is noticeably more tactile. Than the other royals. But let's move on to other wholesome news.

Can we quickly discuss some breaking news on the rules slash the valley front? So first and foremost, Jax and Brittany have hit the skids. Okay. Yeah. So rumors hit the Internet three weeks ago, it looked like that she had moved out and Jax and Brittany announced that they are going through a rough patch and they are working through things.

But yes, they have hit a time in their marriage where things are uncertain. Here's my initial thought. Is this just trying to drum up some press for the valley so that people watch the valley? Chandler, this is 100% a PR stunt. Yeah.

There's just no chance it's not. I'm sorry. You and your husband are breaking up and it just happens to be three weeks before your show premieres and you have not been on the air for years. And I've just seen a lot of press since then where Jack says Brittany's, blah, blah, blah. This is happening.

There's been several updates to this story almost every other day, which makes me just feel like this is being curated. They somehow stumbled upon Jax leaving the gym. TMZ did. Did a full interview leaving the gym. They just happened to know where he was.

Jax is not a good actor. Jax is not great at pretending know, he doesn't have a canned answer. No, exactly. He does not look at the camera or at the person at all. When he's talking, he's looking away.

It is such bullshit. It is such lies. And it is truly just to strum up, I think, interest in the valley. And you cannot convince me otherwise because the valley looks pretty boring. I'm sorry.

The valley looks very boring. And especially if it comes out that Jax and Brittany's marital woes are being unpacked on the valley, that will also. It'll be so clear that this is what this is, right. Heather McDonald said on her pod or her Patreon, she was like, I don't think you would actually move out of your house for publicity for a show. I completely disagree.

I think that this is literally all these people have. This is their paycheck. You do what you do for a check. This is their livelihood. There is no other career.

Right. It completely makes sense to me. Especially. Also, their kid is so young. The kid's never going to remember this.

I just think it's completely made up. Yeah. And I think that is pretty sad. Yeah. Oh, for sure.

Absolutely. I will not be watching the valley. Ditto. I mean, I will if it turns out that people say it's good in other news, though, another Vanderpump rules news. Lala Kent is pregnant with baby number two.

So she had said on a recent season of Vanderpump rules that she wanted to get pregnant with the sperm donor because she basically never wanted to deal with custody issues again and wanted to know that 100% her baby would be hers, her next baby, and she is pregnant with baby number two. I'm excited for her. You are a wonderful mom. Yeah, I'm excited for her. Are you not?

I don't know. Okay. I have mixed feelings about it. I think. I feel like she talked about on her podcast, like, one time on her podcast, her brother was on, and her brother was kind of saying that the mom had a breakdown and was saying that she was raising ocean because it's, like, helping all the time.

Because the mom is helping all the time. Right. And so I guess I have two minds where I'm so happy for her, of course. And I don't mean to shame a working mom whatsoever, but it did kind of seem like she had a lot on her plate to begin with. Maybe her mom was like, hey, I'm happy to help raise both kids.

I noticed this on the show, like, how much her mom is around, how much her mom takes care of ocean. That's just a lot for a person. That's just a lot to be full time childcare. That's just. Especially if maybe things she is paid or.

I don't know. I just think that's a lot. That is just a lot for a person who maybe wants to be retired and living in Boca. Yeah. And I don't know why.

I think it's different for when it's your parents versus professional childcare. I guess if this was professional childcare, I would have zero. Right? Yeah, of course. Because I think that would mean that they were being paid.

And I think that the lines are really blurry when it's your family. Yeah. How do you say no to watching your grandchild or say, I want a break. I need a break from watching my grandchild. I would never say that to Courtney.

I think, though, that grandparents say it all the time. I remember I was talking with a family friend of ours, and she was like, yeah, I told my daughter, when you have kids, I'm not here to raise your kids. I have already done that. I did that season of my life. I'm not here to be your free babysitter, essentially, all the time.

Yeah. Well, just know that that's the case for me, too, with you. I'm not here to be your free babysitter. Let me just draw my boundary now. Okay?

Well, that's very good to know because I was counting on you with your full time job time and also big side hustle to move in with me to be my nanny, unpaid. That's huge news for me. Chandler. Yeah. Sorry.

Sorry. Anyway, I think this is interesting, but I am happy for her. Of course. Yeah. I mean, there's a jaded part of me that's like, is she also having another kid to secure more interest with her on the show?

Like join the Valley or whatever? I don't know. That's probably a reason. I don't know. That might be, like, reason five or six that she wants to have another kid.

But, yeah, I think I am curious. I think that it would be naive to think that all major life decisions if for these people who are cast members on this show that some part of the show does not come into their minds when they're making those decisions for sure. So I'm assuming it'll be documented on Vanderpump rules. So I'm excited to watch it all unfold. For sure.

What else is going on, Chandler, that we need to get into? I mean, where do we begin? Do you want to talk about Kristen Cavallari? Let's get into Kristen Cavalieri because she has hit Instagram and TikTok with a hard launch of her 24 year old launch. She's hard launched her boyfriend, Mark Estes.

Okay, I'll say it. He's pretty hot. I mean, he's super hot. So this is what the article reads from page six. Yeah.

Can I just say, too, I'm glad that you can fully say that because there was a point in time where you were like, I won't comment on other men's hotness because it's disrespectful to Kagan. You said that one time to me.

I used to be so whipped. If Kagan said anything about another woman's hotness. Like jail, like electric chair. But we are fully allowed to. And so anyway, I'm glad you concur that Mark Estes is a snack.

But who do we get hot and heavy over on this podcast? A lot that Kagan has to overhear in his office. Tim McGraw, Brad Salchuk. I mean, I feel like he's just used to it at this point. He should be all my crushes.

But, yeah, here's the thing. So it's this 24 year old guy. I won't read the article snippet. The TLDR is that she's dating this 24 year old, essentially, TikTok content creator Montana boys. They're the Montana boys.

They lip sync and dance on TikTok. They're a very manicured looking trio. He for sure goes to the tanning beds. Oh, yeah. I want to talk to you about this because we have a listener who really feels like this is the future, or this is at least a sign of the patriarchy crumbling.

Did you see crumbling? I did see this. Okay, so our dear listener, Mary, she or Mary Beth, she reposted this and was like, this is incredible. Whenever I see basically an older woman with a younger girl, I just feel like I see the patriarchy crumbling. I hope a lot of rich, older or more mature women go this route.

And, yeah, that it's like a sign of changing times. I don't know that I necessarily think the age difference is, like, it's notable, but it's nothing to me. It's like, it's 13 years. It's not 23 years. Yeah.

I'm out of my depth here because, once again, my gift is in celebrity gossip and pop culture, if not in sociology or, like, women's studies. Also, I'm just going to be honest. I don't know if it sits right with me to give that much credit to Kristen Cavallari, a celebrity who I feel like gets way too many headlines. I feel like I don't know why we continue to talk about Kristen Cavalieri, but she's thrust upon us. Yes.

I swear, her PR person has some type of deal with major news outlets to just continue the news cycle about her, because she's just so not interesting to me at all. Yeah. And we've never been Kristen Cavalieri stance, but I guess my thought is I personally don't love the idea that the future is more transactional relationships. Not that I would say that this is necessarily a transactional relationship. I think that he is obviously attracted to her.

She's a hot girl, no doubt about that. But I don't know. I wouldn't say that. I think that the hope of the future for the patriarchy crumbling is more women dating younger men. I personally just think that, for me, this is super cringe.

Like, this guy himself. To me, I would never want to honestly date or date publicly. I would specially date publicly. Yeah. Can I send you a TikTok I want you to watch?

Yeah, please. Related to this, I don't want to date someone whose job is dancing on TikTok. I don't even care. I genuinely don't. I would just rather date a doctor.

I'd rather date a doctor. I don't care. You're so brave. You're so brave. If the guy has half a million followers on TikTok and makes a ton of money compared to the doctor, I'd rather date a more serious guy.

Honestly, I'd rather date someone who I could bring to a dinner party and not feel embarrassed about. This goes back to the central tenets of our theology of the Ten Commandments of papa paulogists, which is that we have to be the thirstier ones in the relationship. We cannot be with people who are more thirsty than us. And I'm going to say it. I think Mark Estes is just as thirsty as Kristen, if not more so.

And I feel like I always want to date someone whose brain operates in a way that I really respect and is much different than mine. And if we're both on our social media hustle, it's cringe to me. It doesn't slap for me. Please watch this video. Okay.

Oh, I saw this video. You saw this one? Yeah, of course. Me. This is part of the hard launch.

So basically the video is. Well, there was the one of them dancing in Cabo to the I should have kissed you song. And then this is the one where they're making a TikTok dance with, like, Mark and his two guy. Yeah, yeah. They're singing a country song.

Each person takes a line, and the last person is Kristen Cavallieri, right after the boy band, the boy dancers. So I guess this is what her Friday nights look like now, like, entertaining these young gentlemen and doing TikTok dances with. I just. I don't know what they talk about. That is not to me, that's not what I want to do on a Friday night.

You know what? It's giving. It's giving. Like when Northwest. When Kim stays in on a Friday night and does a TikTok video with Northwest, a million percent, what is she doing shotgunning beers with him and his frapboy friends on a Friday night?

I just feel like me, what turns me on is being with someone who I can converse with and really like Hugh Janus, who I do have a history with. No. Like, someone I can really look up to. And really, I hold their opinion to be very.

Yeah, I'm sure Mark knows a lot. I'm sure he knows a lot. He probably knows a lot. I don't know Chandler a lot about what? Anyway.

Oh, this is another thing. I got a quote from a source. Okay. The source says Kristen thinks Mark is super hot. He's very flirtatious, and she's loving it.

They were down in Mexico for just a few days, but had a lot of fun together. It's still new. It's still new. Yeah. If you're going to go younger, you got to go younger the way Miranda Kerr did dating Evan Spiegel.

Mary. Young tech. Yeah, young tech. Mogul, mogul, billionaire. That's my advice to Kristen, not young tech.

TikTok star. That's not it. It's not it. I want to talk about the drama or the alleged drama surrounding the Cyrus family, and specifically Tish. Cyrus, who is the mother of the Cyrus clan, who has married Dominic Purcell, who was the star in prison break.

And so the alleged drama is that Noah, Cyrus, her 24 year old daughter, was seeing Dominic before Tish and him got together. So Tish is 56. Dominic is 54. Noah, her daughter, is 24. And let's get into what sources say.

Okay, so Noah is currently estranged from her mother. She didn't go to her mother's wedding. And the day of her mother's wedding, she posted a photo of her and her other brother, who also didn't go and doing something. And she was wearing a Billy Ray Cyrus t shirt that day. Okay, messy.

This is messy. Messy. So an insider made shocking claims about what has sparked the fallout, which is that Noah was seeing Dominic when Tish started pursuing him. And Tish was, quote, aware of this when she began to get in contact with Dominic. So this is what Tish revealed on call her.

I just. I just want to outline this for people who are sometimes, when we were talking about Tish and Noah, these are kind of strange names. Aren't familiar. Just trying to recap this. I said, the Cyrus family.

No, I know, but I'm just saying I want to Tldr for people who. It was hard for me when reading this article because I was like, who is Tish? Who is Noah? Again, Tish is the mom. Is Miley Cyrus's mom.

And Noah is the female daughter of Curly Ray and Tish. Tish is a woman. Noah is a woman. Okay. Tish is the mother.

Noah is the 24 year old daughter and sister to Miley. Okay. And then Dominic is, like, 56, and he was 54. He was apparently dating Noah, the female daughter. But now he is married to Tish, their mother.

Miley and Noah's mother, sisters. Let me walk you through some of the reports. Okay, so basically, Noah and Dominic were seeing each other in a friends with benefits way off and on. They stopped seeing each other. And then Tish started something up, and Tish knew that he had been seeing Noah.

So Tish went on call her daddy and opened up about her relationship because she's very in love. They got married. She's very in love. And she explained that he had initially reached out to her in 2016. I was with an IG DM, and she says, I had followed him on Instagram, and he dmed me and said, hey, Tish just wanted to say, I think you're super cool and you're doing such a great job with your family.

Apparently, she didn't see that, though, at the. That was. That was the first message. And then later on, a year later, her daughter noticed that Tish was blocked on his account. And she said his ex had seen he hit me up and then blocked me from his Instagram.

I almost pewed my pants because I was like, why am I blocked? He doesn't even know I exist, and now I'm blocked. So then, years later, 2022, following her split from Billy Ray, Tish reached back out to Purcell, and he quickly responded back. She said the pair went on a. Or they went on a date, and the very next day, they said, I love you.

And then they said, I do a year later. Wait, I'm confused. She reached out even though she was blocked? Yeah. Somehow she was unblocked.

Somehow she got through. She got through. And then the rest is history. But her daughter, Noah was seeing him in a friends with benefits kind of didn't. I did not know that the Cyrus family was created in a.

I don't know, Maury hellscape. It's so messy. I mean, also, like a daytime show. Larry Springer. Jerry Springer.

Jerry Springer. Yeah. And what this source is saying, Lauren, is that dish never gave Noah the chance to talk about all of this before they got married. She never let her daughter sort of air her grievances with, hey, mom, you're marrying my friends with benefits X. Yeah.

And she needed to have that conversation. Just needed to have the combo. That's all. That's all. And Tish wouldn't give that to her.

I feel like Miley's had some ups and downs in, right? Sure, sure. She's had her moments. And I feel like the math is now mathing on Miley's moments. Yes.

Because this is clearly a very messy family. And, yeah, I feel like at least it's better for the family that it wasn't the other way. Right. Where it was mom's boyfriend, and then now he's married to the daughter. I feel like that would be much worse.

What a wonderful glass half full way to look at this, Lauren. I love that. Did you see that? The title of the article you sent me was, like, tish Cyrus bears all in, like, a mesh dress with no underwear underneath at, like, a fashion show or something. That was Noah.

I think that was Noah at fashion week. I'm sorry. Noah. Noah. Yes.

Noah, the young daughter. Yeah. I was going to ask you, at what point do you think the ven diagram between psychological issues and naked dresser wear underneath? It just becomes a circle. At what point, I couldn't even tell you.

I think it is a circle 100% of the time. 100%? Yeah. I think the whole situation is sad. I think the fact that it's even out there in the public, that there's even articles that are kind of confirming this, is just kind of sad.

They're not trying to keep this more private. If this is true. Whole thing is sad to. And it's a sad, messed up Hollywood family. I think that's really what's going on here.

Do we need to do a deep dive on the Cyrus family? I think so. Troubles? I think that would be interesting, because Billy Ray and Tish basically almost got a divorce multiple times in the last 20 years or, like, early in the 2000s. They had a lot of marital issues before eventually fully divorcing.

Yeah. In case you were wondering, Billy Ray has remarried a woman named Fire Rose. That was my next thing I was going to say is that I was like, I know it. He's already married, and she's younger than me, and I was like, guaranteed. And so I looked it up, and actually, I was wrong.

She's fire Rose. She's 34. I'm 33. Three. So good for Billy Ray.

Good for Billy. Yeah. He's the only one. No, and I mean that family, honestly. And Noah, the 24 year old daughter, why aren't we talking about the fact that she was dating a 54 year old that was her.

Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits. This Dominic Purcell guy is so gross to me. Good question. Please tell me that for her $60 million payout from Spotify, Alex Cooper asked Tish about dating her daughter's friend.

No, of course she didn't. Of course. She was like, I think a Tish has a podcast now where she gets stoned with her daughter. She actually does. I read that as well.

And one of the headlines is that she opened up that she would have been a much better parent if she had started smoking weed earlier.

You know, Chandler, it's a farm. If she would have some early birth. And she was like, I'll never do that. The Venn diagram between Tish and Deb is two circles, wildly. Yeah.

They do not intersect. No. I will say, though, and I'm going to talk about this on the Patreon. Okay. I'm rewatching Grey's anatomy with mom during her recovery.

And she is loving it. This is a show. I will love it. She would have never let us watch as kids, and she never watched. And she never watched because it can be kind of raunchy, but she is loving it.

She's loving it, loving it. She said she woke up early this morning because dad woke up early and she watched two episodes. She told me, though, this morning as well, that she's not really liking Christina at the moment. Grey's Anatomy, I think, continues to be the best show that ever aired on television ever. I'm just going to say it.

Those first four seasons, I mean, incredible. I mean, pornography for straight up porn. Truly, in my personal opinion, I have some other learnings I'm going to get into on the Patreon or maybe next week. I would just love a TikTok challenge, you guys, where instead of basically the trending audio or, like, the trending challenge is getting your husband to recite a Patrick Dempsey speech to know a, you know, in front of an. Right, right.

Anyway, yeah, a lot of my romantic awakenings were to Grey's anatomy, so I'm excited to hear more about will. I'll keep you informed. Do you want to talk about the lavish indian wedding? Lauren, I didn't know if we would get to this and I don't want to be the one to break it to you. You thought you went to a nice wedding.

You thought you lived the high life on your trip. I thought I knew rich people. You were posting about it. Know I'm going to make everyone jealous at home. And the timing, frankly, couldn't have been worse because the richest man in Asia, like the 7th or 8th richest person in the world, his son is set to get married this summer.

And his son and his betrothed decided to have extremely lavish pre wedding celebrations this past weekend. Or I think, I believe it was this past weekend, or it's still going on potentially. I think it's still ongoing. Yeah. Yes, I saw the headlines, and you're absolutely correct.

This could not have stolen because this wedding was about me, obviously, weding. I attended. It. Could not have stolen my Instagram thunder at a worse time. No.

When I flew all the way to India to attend, I literally texted my friend. I'm like, I'm in crazy rich Asians, right? That's my friend. That's what I thought. Exactly.

Rihanna was not performing. No. Break it to my friends that they're not actually rich. That's going to be a tough conversation. Yeah, I mean, just send them this episode.

So the groom's name is Anad and Bonnie. And he is the son of billionaire Mukesh and Bonnie. And he is marrying radika merchant. And so he is the son of who is the 9th richest person in the world. He was the chair of Reliance Industries, which you probably haven't heard of, but somehow does business in oil, textiles, telecommunications, and entertainment.

So that all for sure checks out. But what's interesting, too, is that the girl, the woman isn't a commoner or she's also from a billionaire family. Chandler, let me just disabuse you of a certain, it seems like illusion you are currently operating under. I don't know. I'm just like, well, she marrying him for the money, which is that super rich people that are from very wealthy families ever marry common folk?

They just don't. It's true. They want to marry of their ill because they want to marry union of the families. It's uniting dynasties. It's how it works.

Men in those spheres, they don't want to date the bartender. They really. True. It's true. It's true.

Let me just give you a little bit more texture on these celebrations. These celebrations included all of the billionaires in the world, essentially, or at least a lot of them were invited. The people who actually showed up. The billionaires who actually showed up were Bill Gates, Google CEO, Sundars. Am I saying his name right?

Mark Zuckerberg was there. Priscilla Wachan was there. His wife, Bob Iger was also there. And yes, Rihanna was paid $9 million to perform. There was a nine page dress code.

Oh, my gosh. Heaven for me. So I had this thought when I was seeing this news break where I was like, so are all these billionaires friends? Rich people just know each other. Whatever.

They bump elbows on Jeff Bezos's yacht. And I think it makes a lot more sense that this is just literally a big party week pre the wedding this summer. It's just like summer. The weding's not even till this summer. This is just literally wedding celebrations.

Well, that makes still no sense to me. I mean, you got to send your money somehow, Lauren. No, it's true. But do you think that these people are all friends or they just are all on this elite guest. I think they just invited their favorite people.

Yeah. I was disappointed I wasn't invited. Here's the thing I will say now. I feel like having been to a few weddings that have truly blown my mind is I feel like at super exciting weddings, they should reserve 10% of the headcount to people who want to buy tickets to attend. And you should be able to buy tickets.

That should be a law. Totally. And that can go towards your honeymoon or something. It's going to go towards whatever. But it should be a law that if you're hosting a wedding, 10% of those tickets need to be available to the general public.

People want to go. Right. Because just spectator sport. I was looking at this, and I was like, I would have paid to go. I would have paid to been part of this.

I know this moment for. What are their names? Anad and I think Radika. Radika. For Anad and Radika.

I really wanted to celebrate that. Congratulations. Congratulations. We can be more happy for you. Let me just give you a few more contextual details.

Okay, Lauren. So when his sister got married in 2018, Beyonce performed. All right. And when his twin brother got married, coldplay performed. Wow.

So they all get these big performances. It's amazing. Anyone can be bought. Everyone has a price. And apparently 9 million for this weding.

9 million. And she had, like, crates shipped over with her luggage. What's our price, Chandler? If someone wants a live podcast at their wedding, literally $30.15 grand, it's low. Who would you.

$30 and 15. I want to know, what pop star would you have perform at your wedding? Tim McGraw. I would have. Does it have to be actual pop, or can it just be, like, any type of music?

I guess. Taylor. Yeah. You feel she can't be bopping at first? I know I do.

I do. Literally not even a real fan. Okay, one more question. Is Rihanna a billionaire with Fenty? I don't know if she's a billionaire.

I would be surprised. Can I give you one other detail from this, please? So just so you know, part of the invitation had specific instructions about if people wanted their clothes steamed. Okay. And it reads, any clothes given to steam press will be returned within 3 hours.

Expecting or requesting anything quicker than that may not be feasible. They had to set some boundaries. Set some boundaries. When we got to the hotel for our wedding, there's a lot of steaming that needs to happen, and very quickly, and it is a little bit of, like, an emergency. So I think that's a healthy boundary to set.

Anyway, sorry, you went to a poor person's weding recently. I am really going to have to break it to my friends that they're actually poor. That's going to be big news to them. That's huge. I don't want to be.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Finally, Chandler, before we depart today on this beautiful morning in March, as we're recording, I want to discuss Kate Hudson's new song. Chandler.

Okay. Did you know that Kate Hudson is launching a music. Yes, yes. And I've heard the song is pretty good. You didn't listen to talk about love in preparation for this episode.

I forgot. I forgot to listen to talk about love. Okay, you guys, Kate Hudson was flaunting her bare midriff in the music video for Talk about love, her new single on her forthcoming debut album, which Shamashi has written all the songs to herself. Really? Yeah.

I mean, I love Kate Hudson. That's what I'm going to say. It's a bop. Really? Absolutely a bop.

And I mean, I don't know that I'm going to turn to it in dark nights of the soul. Like I would clean. Sure. Is it like stars are blind kind of bop? Celebrity bop?

It's definitely a higher caliber. I mean, if she's actually singing in this, I will be so incredibly impressed. And I think she is. But I'm going to play a little snippet for you. The music video is a vibe.

That world behind the wild we're chasing all these butterflies just let them go now tell me, baby nothing but the truth will do. I like it. Her voice sounds good. Crazy. Because I know it's our time and you talking about love, talking about love.

I mean, wow, it's a pretty good plan B career. I agree. I agree. Having shared Jack and Jill bathroom with me growing up that I have a pretty decent singing voice. I'm looking at this right know if this podcast never really pans out, this could be a good backup plan for what a.

What a gorgeous episode. I'm so glad we're back. I'm glad we're back, too. I'm excited to give my little recap for everyone of my trip on Patreon. I'm excited to continue the conversation with you as always, Chandler.

Yes, agreed. Let's continue the conversation. It's a continuing conversation. You just went full archetypes on me.

That's what you say. Like in a business email. It's like a thing. Looking forward to continuing the conversation. Right.

Okay, everybody, we'll be back. Thank you guys for listening. And by the way, you can join close friends on Instagram up until this Friday. So we just forgot to remind people. So up until Friday, March eigth, you can join close friends.

And to do that, you just join the top tier on Patreon, the 1299 tier, and then message us there your Instagram name and we will add you. And if you are not seeing the close friends content and you have added that, just send us a message on Patreon so we can make sure you're added. And we love you guys. Thanks for being pop apostles. Love you.

Love you. Bye.

That's all for now, folks. Don't forget, give us a five star review. Hit us up on Instagram at pop apologist and we will see. See you next week live every Wednesday.