What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show, For the realest, Say Goodbye to the Lies, the Faintness and Delusions of Modern Society. Welcome to Motherfucking Reality, guys. Today we have Q-N-A-F. That's where we answer the questions that you submit. Now, you can submit your questions a couple of different ways.

The first way is, guys, you can email those questions into askandy@andyfrisella.

Com, or you can go on YouTube in the comment section and drop your questions there as well. Now, if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. We have Q&AF, that's what you're going to hear today. Then we have CTI, that stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we talk about the topics of the day. We speculate on what's true, what's not true. Then we talk about how we, the people have a duty to solving these problems that exist in our society. Other times we have real talk. Real talk is 5 to 20 minutes or so of just some real talk, just some shit that I think you need to hear. Then we have 75 hard verses. We have people who come on. We talk about how their life was a dumpster fire and how they extinguish that dumpster fire using the 75 Hard program, which you can find for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most widely known mental transformation program in history, and it is free, and you can get it episode 208.

There is a book on this called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get on the website, andyfricella. Com, which will explain the entire Live Hard program in detail, plus 10 chapters on mental toughness, why you need it, how to build it, what it's going to do for along with some case studies on some very famous people who have used mental toughness to make themselves famous. We also have a fee for the show.It is a fee. Yeah. The fee is very simple. Pay us money. Yeah.

Send it.

Venmo DJ.

Even that blue car.

Yeah. No, we don't ask for any money, all right? It is nice when you guys support the companies, but you're going to notice I don't take ads for the show. I don't take ad money. I don't want to answer to anybody that's going to try to tell me what I can and can't say. And until this ridiculous shit ends and these motherfuckers stop trying to tell everybody what they can and can't say, I'm going to continue to not take ad money. So I have a very simple deal for you. We are constantly battling shadow bans, traffic bans, censorship, and we need you to share the show. So if the show is good, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if it gives you a new perspective, please pay the fee, which means share the show. So don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up, dude? Hey, hey. How's it going? Good. Yeah. Good. Before we get into the show, we have a big announcement that tonight at 07:00 PM, Central Standard Time, we will have a Real American Freedom Gear release. The previous two releases we've had have sold out in less than five minutes.

So if you want to get on that release, I'd be online when drops at seven o'clock. What is the URL? Realamericanfreedomgear. Com. So be on there at seven. Get what you got to get. We got a little more inventory this time, so hopefully, you guys will be able to get what you want. Yeah, seven o'clock tonight.

I know a lot of people are fucking excited about that.

Are they?

Oh, yeah.

We'll see.

Well, people get pissed.

I know. Bro, we can't get enough shit. They get pissed. Yeah, I can't get enough shit. It's awesome. Everybody is I'm supporting it, but don't get pissed at me, man. Where we're getting this, Fuck you, I'm not even going to hit. Yeah, no shit. All right, anyway, that's the announcement.

Yeah, that's the announcement, man. Guys, make sure you jump that.

The other announcement is we have come to I would say, based off of yesterday's conversation, we have come to a very solid decision that Black people do not pay more for their phone bill than Bullshit, bro. This is bullshit.

People on the YouTube comment it.

They're all liars.

It's a 100% fact.

They're all liars.

100% fact. Liars. Call them Black people liars?

I'm calling those Black people liars.

Those niggas.

Lying. You know what I'm saying? I didn't say that.

No, man. Yeah. It's true. All right. It is true.

I listen, and I'm sure there's very- It is not true. It is falonious. People spoke. Three people. Three people. You all fucking liars.

That's what it is, man. All right. Let's make some people better today. Let's do that. We got some great questions lined up here. Guys, Andy. Question number one. Andy, I have a friend who just met his girlfriend's parents. He feels like he completely screwed it up. What advice can you give him on how to recover that? How do I fix a bad first First impression.

Dude, I just quit. Just move on. You're screwed, dude. Dad's never going to like you. Mom's going to hate you forever. You're going to get probably beat up by the dad, harassed. I just quit. Yeah, just stop. Fuck it.

Dumper. Dumper ass.

All right, what's the next question? Hey, look, man, everybody understands what it's like to fuck up a first impression, dude. You got to understand, man. Sometimes it takes five, six, seven times to actually warm up to people. People have different temperatures about social relationships. I'm one of those people that it's going to take me four, five, six times. When you're dating some dude's daughter, I'm sure it's going to take more than once. Oftentimes, these little goof-ups that we have that are awkward in the beginning become the jokes, and they become part of the glue that makes the relationship actually work. A lot of my friends that I'm really good friends with, bro, I didn't like I first met them at all. It's interesting because the reason I didn't like them is because they were like me. I don't like me. But look, for real, dude, I think that's normal, especially when you're a young man. There's a lot of pressure on that. You want to do a good job. But, bro, everybody's awkward in those situations. It's just awkward. Hey, dude, I'm here to bang your daughter. It's just fucking weird, man. It is weird.

Yeah. So I wouldn't worry about it, dude. I would just keep going and do better next time. I'm sure you will. These little these little goof-ups will be funny stories one day, man. We're going to mess up first impressions all kinds of times. But I would also say this. I think a lot of people put a lot of effort into creating a good first impression that is very out of line with how they really are. And that's equally, maybe even more negative than having a mess up in the first meeting that you have with someone. Yeah, because here's what happens. You pretend to be really good, and we see this in relationships a lot, right? Each person is trying to be the best version of themselves and put on the best front, and they start to like each other, and they start to get along. And then six months later, the fucking pretending stops, and you realize, holy shit, this person is not anything like what I thought they were, and they're realizing the same about you because you guys are both trying to trick each other into liking each other. That's damaging as well.

I think a good mix of good manners, treating people with respect and authenticity about what your thoughts are, who you are, and just keeping it real is the best way to create a good impression over the course of a short amount of time.

Yeah. Are the fundamentals, I guess, to first impressions, are they the with any relationship, specifically? I mean, again, you're an entrepreneur. You've been in business for two and a half decades. Are first impressions in business, are the fundamentals the same?

Yeah, especially in the beginning, dude. When you get established and you've done enough things, your reputation precedes the actual meeting. When you're established and you're doing well, people have a preconceived notion of what you're going to be like. So really, what happens is when you meet them, it usually either solidifies what that is or it disrupts what that image is. And either way, it works in your favor because these people already know about you. And so it's them trying to endure themselves to you, not you trying to endure themselves to them. And it allows you to be more authentic, more real, which creates a faster bond with people. In the beginning, it's not like that. Nobody knows who you are. Nobody gives a fuck. You're just another name, another face. It's important to figure out how to make a good impression. That's going to come simply in this day and age, simply from doing some old-school things very effectively. When you shake someone's hand, shake it firmly, not overly firm, don't try to crush their hand, but a firm, manly handshake, not some dead fish. Dead noodles. Look them in the fucking eye and say, Nice to meet you.

You know what I'm saying? Try to remember their name. Some people are not good with names, and they have to figure out name associations. If you go read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, it's a really good book for this situation, and it's basic. But society has eroded so far in terms of interpersonal skills, because Everybody has their face glued to a screen, that to stand out and make a good impression is actually pretty easy nowadays. It's just called being a normal human being. So don't be afraid. You have no reason to be afraid of anybody. Shake your hands, say, nice to meet you. And here's another When your intent is good inside of your heart and you have good intent, you have nothing to be afraid of, man. If you have good intent for people, what are you fucking afraid of them finding out? You see what I'm saying? So if you're afraid and you're nervous, what are you afraid and nervous for? What are you hiding? Yeah, what are you hiding? Or are you just not comfortable with the skill set of talking to people? And if that's the case, then that's going to come down to reps.

That's where you bring out that trick that I tell you guys all the time about going to the grocery store and meeting three people as a game, as just reps, having a conversation with three random strangers, and then leaving and doing that on a daily basis. Bro, I did that day after day after day after day for years on top of a retail business model where I was meeting people I didn't know all the time. And if you're young and you can get into a retail situation where you're going to talk to 30 people, 40 people a day, it's worth taking that job, even if it's not your main thing because of the skills that you're going to learn. So a lot of people won't do that. They're too good for that. I'm not going to work retail. Motherfucker, dude, let me tell you something. The reason I am who I am is because I spent all that time on that retail floor talking to people, getting to know people, spending time with people, shaking hands, having conversations with very limited amounts of information and connecting with people. That's an invaluable skillset that supersedes any other tool or any other hack or any other type of income strategy that you might have.

If you can handle people effectively, you are at a massive advantage because you understand psychology, you understand how people respond, you understand how people respond online because they're very similar to what they do in person. It just gives you a very deep understanding of how to relate to people, which is going to benefit you in every area of your life. It's going to benefit you at your job. It's going to benefit you in your business, it's going to benefit you with with the opposite sex. It's going to benefit you with-Same sex? Yeah, sure, dude. Whatever, man. It's going to benefit you in all your relationships, everywhere. So I would put the time into investing in to invest in that skill. And the reason it's... It's just like anything, bro. The scarier the shit, the more valuable it is because the less people that will do it. So when you think about being able to walk up to the woman of your dreams without hesitation, that's a valuable skill, bro, because that might be the one. You see what I'm saying? Otherwise, the people who don't have those skills, they just take what they get. They take the friendships they get.

They take the shit they get at their job. They take the relationships they get, and they don't actually go out and create them intentionally. And then they wonder why they're surrounded by all these people who aren't at the level that they want their friends and their relationships to be at. You have to be intentional about it because the people up here that you want to be around, they You have to be intentionally created and brought into your life. And that means you have to be comfortable. Hey, I'm Steve. Nice to meet you. This is what I do. What do you do? What are you into? You see what I'm saying? You have to be able to do these basic things, and most people just cannot do them. And if you could get yourself in a position to do them, bro, you're at a massive advantage over everybody else. I love it.

I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. When I saw this question at first, I was like, Okay, what the fuck is this? But then, this is a really good question here. Okay. All right. Hi, Andy. Andy, I am struggling with being too serious. I compete in dog sports.

In what?

Dog sports.

Okay. All right. Like where the dog runs through the tunnels and shit? I think so, yeah. There's some jumps? Mm-hmm. Okay.

At the level, And the level I am training to compete at would be the equivalent of a Super Bowl, the best of the best. All of my extra resources are dedicated to achieving this goal one way or another. I have had some success and wins, but I'm still paying my dues to get where I want to be. My coach has called me out a couple of times saying that I'm too serious and I need to let loose. I know she is right as my seriousness is starting to affect my newest teammate, my young upcoming dog, in a negative way. I am having a hard time knowing how to not be too serious while still keeping my foot on the gas. I usually have no problem laughing at myself or my dogs when we make mistakes, and I'm no stranger to learning from failure and pushing forward. But how do you balance being serious about a goal while still being able to let loose and enjoy the process?

Well, first of all, I would say this. The fact that you're too serious and that you need to bring it back a little bit in your mind, that's better than someone who's not serious at all that needs to up their game. So you're in a better spot than those people. When someone tells you... Dude, let me tell you something. I am an intense person. I don't think that's a surprise to many people. I want to win real fucking bad, and I take it real serious. When I go on stage and speak, I'm serious. I'm not fucking around. If you've ever seen me speak, you fucking know that's true. It's a completely different thing. I'm serious about success. I'm serious about winning. I'm serious about helping you win. I got a critique one time from someone I respected who told me that I was too serious and I needed to bring it down. For two years, I tried to listen to that advice because I respected that person. You know what happened? I fucking sucked. When we have people telling us we're too serious, we have to consider what the source is and why they're doing that.

It's not for everybody to be easy and relaxed and fun and care free. And I realize as a serious person that you may look at other people and you think, what's wrong with you? Well, some people are just built for the fucking fight, bro. Some people are built to win. Some people are built to go hard. And people that aren't don't understand that. They're never going to get that. They're always going to tell you, take it easy. Why are you so up tight? Why are you so aggressive? Why do you care so much? You need to laugh. You need to smile. You need to do this. Because they're not wired like you. They're never going to understand it. If you think that you need to be less serious, that's one thing. But if you're just listening to people around you, I wouldn't listen to them. I would do your game. I'd play your game. I'd be who you are, and I'd be comfortable being who you are. Because serious people change the fucking world. Serious people win championships. Serious people get inducted into the Hall of Fame. Serious people cure cancer. Serious people build innovation.

Serious people create all the real shit in society. Now, that's not saying you can't have an unserious side. When I'm not competing, when I'm not in business and I'm not on stage and I'm not doing things that, in my opinion, are very important, I am pretty relaxed. I'm pretty much a guy that fucks around a lot and talks a lot of shit and jokes around. That's the yin and the yang of my personality. Over here, when it's game time and we're on the field, I'm going to fucking kill you, dude. Okay? Right after the game, we could be I'm joking around having fun. It's not a personal thing. I just want to win. My advice to you would be to consider if you really feel this way or if people are just telling you that you are this way and decide If that's true, if you feel that you are this way and you think you need to change a little bit, I would consider compartmentalizing where you're serious and where you're not, and then also realizing that, dude, we're all going to die. These people that you're doing the sport with, that you're around, these are your fucking friends.

Even my competitors, people that I compete with that own other companies, I talk to these motherfuckers on the phone. We talk shit. We goof around. Last night, I spent two hours on the phone with two different owners of big supplement brands that you guys would know. And the whole time, it was just talking shit, being cool, being friends. And it's okay to compete with someone and still be friends with them. In fact, real winners want to be friends with the most competitive people that drive them because they understand that when those guys win big, it drives you to push harder and win more. For me, when I was younger and less mature, it was a personal thing. I wanted to burn your fucking house down, bro. I was offended that you even thought you could compete with me. I would be pissed off that you even showed up to fucking compete. The fact that you think you could compete with me fucking pissed me off, okay? And that's how I thought about it for a long time, and I ran really hot. And the problem with that is, is nobody wanted to be cool with me.

Nobody wanted to fucking invite me to the parties, and for good reason, right? And what I started to realize as I got older is that it's cool when other people win. And it's cool when they do big things because it inspires me to go out and compete with them. And I don't have to hate them. I don't have to dislike them. In fact, I value them very much because of the inspiration that they provide. Okay, so When you get into the upper circles of success in business, people are supportive but also competitive. I know that's hard for younger people to grasp. To comprehend. But my point here is that maybe you need a perspective realignment around the people that you're competing with and realize that you're spending all this time in this community. These are your friends. Yes, you're competing. So there's no reason not to enjoy it and laugh. When you fuck up, you could say, well, I fucked up. And I think that in itself is a point that people need to be comfortable with, too. It's like, hey, when you don't play good, you just say, Hey, I didn't fucking play good.

Hey, when you lose, hey, I had to take an L there. I didn't plan on that. And if you just own your shit, there's less pressure. You know what I mean? So I would consider those perspectives. And if you want to be happy and you want to win and be happy, you have to be inspired by the people you compete against. And if you want to win and you want to be miserable, you could just stomp on everybody's throat all the time and fucking have no respect for them whatsoever. But the problem with that is that when you get ahead of them, they don't inspire you. So you get complacent and they end up passing you. So it's very, very important, in my opinion, to be inspired by winning and also be competitive with people who win. And I think that's what creates a symbiotic relationship amongst people who are competing. Like all my friends, dude, people I'm friends with, I'm trying to beat them.They all know it.They know it.They know it.They know it. Yeah. And they're trying to beat me. And I know it.And.

You know it.

And the cool thing is when they do something that beats me, I could say, Hey, which, by the way, ain't very often. But I could say, Hey, what did you do there? When I do something good, they could say, Hey, what did you do there? It's probably like jiu-jitsu, bro. How you guys all help each other get better. It's the same thing. That's one thing I'm thankful for. All my friends, the people I talk to who are in my industry or just other entrepreneurs, that's how they all operate. It's not this cut off your head mentality. It's the mindset, yeah. Yes, we want to win. But it's not personal. It's nobility.

There's nobility in it.

Yeah, I think so. I would encourage you to maybe think about all those things. Maybe when you're in the competition, yeah, be serious. But when you're friends with these people, be cool with them and realize that you don't want to go through this whole process of your sport and get to a point where you don't have any friends afterwards. Eventually, your time is going to end. You're going to want to share memories and talk with these people, and they're all going to hate you if you're a dick. I don't know. Those are my thoughts.

Let me ask you this, too, because you said you did follow that advice, right? It took you two years, and You said in your words, you were shit during those two years. How did you, one, become aware that, Okay, all right, I've been off. And then two, what did you do to get back on?

What did you do to turn that switch off? I just decided. I just made a decision. I decided, You know what? This motherfucker don't know what he's talking about. I'm 10 times better when I do this. So fuck him. I'm going to do what I want. That's it. Dude, we got to be very careful how we take advice because people will give you advice for all sorts of reasons. And I know the reason I got that advice. The reason I got that fucking advice was because I'm so fucking good at what I do that when I tone it back a little bit, people appear to be better. So I'm not down with that. You get what I'm saying? Bro, if you're truly competing with someone, there are people that will give you bad feedback, and you got to be able to fucking determine, is this person giving me real feedback, or is this person trying to make me easier to beat for them? You see what I'm That's the game, though, bro. You got to be able to determine that. Yeah, fuck. Whether that person wanted me to pull back so that I was easier to compete with, or whether they thought that was genuine, I don't know.

But I know this. I know when I said, Hey, fuck that. I'm going to do what the fuck I want to do. I got way better. Zoltan, talking to Zoltan, he understands that very well. When he was When we were at the house, we were having this conversation about how victim culture has created this mentality where everybody has to tone it down. Everybody has to have balance, and everybody has this. We're talking about that, and he's like, Bro, but the world needs warriors, too, man. That's your feature. That's right. And that's what I'm built for. I am built for the fucking fight, and there's just nothing I can do about it. And every time I try to find peace somewhere else, it doesn't work. My peace is found in the battle. My peace is found in the process. My peace is found in all the other things that everybody else tries to avoid. I've just had to come to terms with that's how I'm built and how I'm wired. And when I'm in that fight, I'm much happier. And there's a lot of people that are wired like that that get told by society, it's too much, it's too intense.

Yeah, it is too much for those motherfuckers because those motherfuckers are drinking beer in their fucking driveway on a fucking Coleman cooler talking about the glory days. Now, of course, it's too much. It It reminds them that they're shit, and you're not. So fuck them.

I fucking love it, man. Let's get to our third and final question. Andy, question number three. Hey, Andy. I recently opened up a martial arts gym in the city. I've been practicing martial arts, specifically jiu-jitsu, for the past 20 years. Things are slow, and I haven't been able to attract too many people to the gym. My question is, how should I market my gym to increase and attract attention to my gym? Much love to Chicago. So we're talking about, I guess, on the ground marketing. How do you get the word out when you feel like you have something?

Look, man, it's so easy to get the word out now. Honestly, This question is a little embarrassing, dude, because back in my day, I had to walk to school uphill both ways in 5 feet of fucking snow. Right. Okay? All right, look, real talk. The thing is, guys, is that it is actually a a lot easier right now. You need to understand that the tools you have are some of the most valuable tools that have ever been created for building a small business. You have the ability to geo-target an actual area and do online ads for fucking basically nothing to attract people into your gym. You have the ability to do things that people have forgotten about, like mailers. Mailers work really well right now because nobody uses them. Okay? You also have, and by the way, I didn't I have this shit, just so we're clear. I didn't have the money to do mailers. I didn't have the money to do advertising. I spent the first three years of my fucking business going door to door saying, Hey, I'm Andy. We sell fucking vitamins. If you ever need vitamins, come down and see me.

For real, dude, over and over and over and over again. When I got to the end, I started over at the beginning and I went through again. When I got to the end, I started over at the beginning and I went through again. You know what happened? People in the neighborhood started to know who I was. You know what they did when they needed vitamins? They came and saw me. Now, a lot of people don't like that story because they're like, Fuck, I don't want to do that. But what are we accomplishing by doing that? One, we're entrenching ourselves in the community. Two, we're getting reps with people, which brings it back to the skillset we talked about earlier in the show. Three, it's basically free because you're not missing out on any opportunity cost because you don't have any business yet. Okay? So between the ability to go door to door, which people don't like doing, but is a super It's a valuable thing to do because, dude, people don't do it anymore. So when you do it, it stands out, right?

Especially if you got cauliflower ears, you tell me, Come and do jiu-jitsu. I'm like, All right, I got a choice.

Dude, but you combine that with the technology we have on social media, the technology that we have through digital marketing, the technology that we have through techniques that don't necessarily get thought of right away. And then our ability to go door to door to door. Like, bro, there's There's no reason you can't build this not only into a successful jiu-jitsu gym, but there's no reason that you can't turn it into the best gym in your area. So we got to quit looking for the reasons we can't, and we got to start looking for the reasons we can. Anybody can make anything work, bro. It's just, what are you willing to do? And the answer needs to be fucking anything because it's that hard. That's how hard business is. Business is not a game. It's not something everybody can do. It's not something It's not a fucking side hustle. The Internet makes it seem like it's just this thing that it isn't. And you have to be willing to do whatever the fuck it takes to get what it is you're trying to create, and that means anything. So whatever you have to do to meet people, if you got to stand out on the corner in your fucking Gee doing fucking kicks and shit, I don't fucking know.

You know what I'm saying? Breaking boards, whatever the fuck you guys did. I do. Putting people and laying down and rubbing your balls on people. I don't fucking know.

You're going to have some black belt in the com, I'm going to beat his ass.

Yeah. Put a sign out on the corner and say, If you could take me down, I'll give you a free membership. I don't fucking know, dude. There's so many ways to do this. The question is, to me, it's like, Come on, man.

Well, let's talk about that, though, because I think this is an important part. I don't know if I'm using the proper definition or wording here, but I want to call it passion projects, passion companies, where this guy spent 20 years training jiu-jitsu, bro. That's zero years in business. And so thinking that just because you're really good in jiu-jitsu, that's right. You know what I'm saying? Can we just touch that?

Because I mean-Business has its own unique skillset.

It's a whole different skill, bro.

But, dude, we see this with doctors. We see this with lawyers. We see this with people who are passionate about a skillset but don't necessarily know business. Business. So yes, that's a great question, by the way. You have to understand that while you have expertise here, you don't have it here. And this kills a lot of entrepreneurs, not just because they realize they don't know business, but what happens is once they know business, they think they have what I call the Midas touch, which means if I'm in nutritional supplements, I think I can go be a restauranteur. I don't know shit about fucking opening a restaurant, bro. I know how to eat at a restaurant. I know I know how to drink at a restaurant, and I know how to have a good time at a restaurant, but I don't know how to run a restaurant. So what happens is people think because they get a little success with their jiu-jitsu gym, that they can go open a sandwich store and an ice cream place, and then a fucking bank.Diversified their ego. Whatever, dude. Yeah, right. Right. Dude, that really kills a lot of entrepreneurs, too.

I'd be weary of letting your brain convince you or letting your ego convince you that because you're an expert in one area, that you're automatically an expert in another area. That's just not true, and a lot of people get killed that way. Then just have an open mind. This is a skill set. Go out and read every single fucking book on entrepreneurship that you can find. I'd start with Seth Godin. Read every Seth Godin book because Seth Godin talks about how to guerrilla market. He gives awesome stories. There's a book by Andrew Cernowich called Word of Mouth Marketing, which is amazing. There's a book called Guerrilla Marketing that you can get. All of Seth Godan's, that one book by Cernowich and the Guerrilla Marketing book, those books right there will give you tons of ideas on how to create buzz and business. I think after you read those three books, you're going to have a clear direction on some things that you can do that are low cost, but very effective ways to bring people in.

I love it, man. I love it. Well, guys, Andy, that was three.

Yep. Don't forget about tonight's Apparel release, 07:00 PM, Central, Realgear. Com. Don't be a hoe.

Shut the show.