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Have you ever wondered if Will Ferrell likes to wear his I voted sticker, I'll even wear it until the next day, or what makes Stephanie Rule so passionate about voting? It's about what kind of country what kind of world do you want to live in? Hi, I'm Holly Fahri and I'm hosting a new podcast called Why I'm Voting. I realized my father had never participated in any election. That's how democracy fails everyone assuming somebody else. Why I'm voting.


A new podcast from my heart radio available on the I Heart radio app and Apple podcasts or wherever it is you listen. I want to know if my brother was dead.


It was an unimaginable crime, we couldn't believe something like that would happen here. Eight people dead, all from the same family. This is the PYKEN massacre. Listen to the pectin massacre on the I Heart radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Pay fan, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the Red Tablecloth podcast, all your favorite episodes from the Facebook Watch show in audio produced by Westbrooke Audio and I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to write and review on Apple podcasts.


I think she's leaning more towards rollerskating.


You know, what I would be doing on a day off is going to be sleep at night night time for me. Oh, no. Am I going to do the.


Mia. Are you freaking kidding me? I've been sounds good. Well, can you just find out? When she passed and what might be needed and. Was a Jerry. Who cares? She was so lovely, but she had brain cancer and I thought she was in remission.


We just got word that she. Wow. I'm so sorry that I'm wrong. So can we I just need a second and then we'll just come to the table. Let's roll cameras. All right, this is pictures. We're doing a show about surviving loss, but what was so.


Crazy was that. As I was getting. Prepared for the show today, I get a phone call and I lost a friend. Remember? Yeah, what happened?


She had brain cancer, so I had been thinking about her and I was like, Oh man, I should just check up on her just on the right, because she was in remission.


Absolutely known her for like as long as I can remember. Yeah.


Like she was coming over here when I was like six.


I was going to give our red table talk viewers just an understanding of who she was.


She used to braid our hair, but she was a real, very intimate experience. Right. Just sitting there for hours. And she's yeah.


We've known her for so long and she just became like a family and, you know, you would thinking about her and you feel like I should have picked up the phone and called her and now I can write. I was thinking about her and now she doesn't know that. Yeah, I always try to look at it lately, as you know. It's just it's just part of life circle. Yeah. You know, but you're right, it still doesn't make it much easier to bear.


That's why I always try to you know, you always have to reach out and tell people you love them. You do. Well, what's been your biggest loss to. I would have to say I honestly feel like I lost my sanity at one point. OK. Really? Yeah, it was after that whole with my hair thing and I had just, like, stopped doing singing lessons and I was kind of like just in this gray area of like.


Who am I like, is there like do I have a purpose, like is there anything like that I can do besides this? So here was how long ago?


Like she was like nine years old and that with my hair was the hit record that you had. Yes. Yeah.


Like after the tour and the promotion and all of that. And it was like they wanted me to finish my album and I was just like, no, I'm not going to do that.


And then after all of that kind of settled down and it was like a kind of lull.


Like I was just listening to a lot of dark music and like it was just so crazy. And I was just like plunged into this, like, black hole. And I was like cutting myself wet.


Yeah, and doing crazy things, really. When were you cutting yourself up, like a long time ago, cutting yourself wear on my wrist, I mean, you can't even see it, but, like, there's still a little something there, but, like, totally lost my sanity for a moment there.


Wow. I had no idea your brothers didn't know, no. Friends. Is one one friend that I never talk about it because it was such a short, weird point in my life, but you have to pull yourself, so why would you not why were you doing so out of it?


You know, I honestly felt like. I was experiencing so much emotional pain. But my physical circumstances were reflecting that. Oh, God, and so so would you say that was part of the reason that the self-harm makes makes the pain more tangible was actually visible, something you can put your finger on, your finger on, literally feel and it becomes real.


Exactly. Instead of. Like a ghost, like in your mind. But one night I was just like, this is actually psychotic. And after that, I just stopped. That's good to know.


It's been like five years. Well, I had no idea. Yeah, I never saw I never saw any signs of that. It's crazy. It's crazy. A lot of adolescent girls struggle with self-harm. Why do you think that is? Because I don't think a lot of that was going on when I was growing up. And I don't think I remember. I mean, it was definitely happening. It was happening. But it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't always like where it there's more awareness now.


Then I say when we were both right. Coming up. Right.


I've had lots of applause. When I think about Poque passing away, I get mad at everybody. My name is Langston Karmin, and I love black people. I love them short, I love them tall. I love them thick. I forgive them when their bodies are small. The only thing I love more than black people are the conspiracies that black people come up with.


So I, along with the beautiful oppressors that I heart, radio and big money players have a brand new podcast called My Mama Told Me where each week me in a special guests will explore all of the deep and twisted conspiracies that the white man doesn't want us to know about. We'll talk silly conspiracies.


We'll talk crazy conspiracies. We'll talk conspiracies that you learned from that uncle who used to wear jean shorts when he went swimming at the public pool. Anything from baby urine as an acne treatment to lotion being a tool for government mind control and sterilization. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't want to be your president, but if you want to hear what the president is hiding, that AIDS vaccine and listen to my mama told me starting August 18th on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcasts or anywhere else that podcast.


And I heart radio, we bring you the best podcasts from the biggest names, Ron Burgundy, Jack Chelsea Handler. Yup, always love him, too. And the one thing these shows have in common, they all started with an idea and now we want yours. We're looking to you for the next great podcast. Do you have an idea for a podcast? Let's hear it. Any genre, any topic. We want your voice. Pitch us your show for a chance to share it with fellow podcast fans across the globe and become a part of the I Heart radio podcast family.


Simply go to next great podcast Dotcom to get the details and submit your pitch in partnership with the creative platform toggle I heart radio will select up to 10 semifinalists and give them a thousand dollars to produce a pilot episode that listeners will vote on. Their favorite to decide the next great podcast. The winning show will be made by our best in class production team and shared with listeners all around the world. Enter today, next. Great podcast, Dotcom. That's next.


Great podcast, Dotcom. Why shouldn't the next great podcast come from you? I met Tupac at the Baltimore School for the Arts and we had an instant connection. We became close friends very quickly. We were pretty much inseparable from the day that we met.


When I heard about Park passing away, I was actually in New York and I was supposed to be flying to see him. I remember my knees buckling and we'll having to catch me.


I was just in total shock.


I've had a lot of loss. Yeah. So many of my close friends got why didn't make it past. They didn't make it to 30. They didn't make it past twenty five. You know, a lot of people. You know, talk about my relationship with Pak and trying to figure that out, you know, and. That was a huge loss in my life. Yeah. Because he was one of those people that I expected to be here, my upset is more anger.


You know what I'm saying, because I feel that he left me. And I know that's not true and is a very selfish way to think about it, but. I really did believe that he was going to be here for the long run, right. And so when I think about it, I still get really mad. I get mad at God, I get mad at him. I get mad at everybody. Right.


You know, also knowing that it happened right. When a change was occurring in his life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


And so he didn't really get a chance to be all that he could. Right.


But he he played his role and, you know, he did what he was meant to do in the minds of the generation that came next.


He is a God. Yeah.


Still to this day, many generations he's an icon, you know. And so that was what he was meant to do. What about you? What was your biggest loss, ganster? I think I've had so many important people in my life that that I have lost most recently it was. Sondra, who happens to be your sister? My oldest sister, but amazingly enough. That loss actually brought me to my joy. Yeah, because when we lost Sondra, who was probably the kindest woman that I have ever known.


We're on our way to pick up the rest of the. Do you want to open our float? Yeah, but I just never felt like she was happy. Mm hmm. And it just made me decide, like I got to be happy in my life. Yeah, you know what I mean? You can't keep doing stuff that other people want me to do. And I'm miserable. Right.


You know, I had to leave some relationships and that gave me the freedom to just be authentically who I was, whoever that was. I mean, it's still a journey. I always feel like I'm still kind of looking for myself, trying to find myself. And at even at this age, what I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be somebody that I wasn't right.


I do believe that that's part of why pain exists. And I do believe that's part of why. Loss exists, is that. This is right that we didn't experience pain, would we really grow and we really appreciate we appreciate joy.


We appreciate, you know what I mean?


And it's also the idea that pain motivates you. Pain is a motivating factor for you to make a change in your life to do something different.


Yeah. Hi, I'm Heidi Murkoff, host of What to Expect, a new podcast from My Heart Radio when I first wrote What to Expect When You're Expecting my mission was simple to help parents know what to expect every step of the way on what to expect will answer your biggest pregnancy and parenting questions about everything from preconception planning to birth plan. Newborns sleep to toddler tantrums. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, but it can be overwhelming if you don't know what to expect.


Listen to what to expect on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Carlos Watson, I'm hosting a primetime talk show and guess what, I'm not a white guy named Jimmy. Hey, with a global pandemic, historic recession, racial justice, protest, 20 20 is not a joke. We need something more than late night comedians help make sense of this craziness. Welcome to the Carlos Watson Show. Look, it's going to be brand new deep conversations with everyone from Malcolm Gladwell to Paris Hilton and back again.


Join me, Carlos Watson on the Aussie YouTube channel or listen to the podcast version on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever else you listen.


When the producer first asked me, you know, what was the biggest loss I've had in my life, I said myself, Wow. And then when you realized that. You've lost yourself. That's like devastating because it's just like, how do I get myself there? In having. Children.


Being in a marriage and in this world of Hollywood and having being Elvis Ono's mother, having a persona of like whatever people were thinking, perfection, perfection, which was just like, how did that happen?




That's been my life for the past 20 some years, battling in and I'm giving up my career to raise my children.


You know, that was a battle. Thank you. No, let me tell you. Can I tell you something, Willow? I would not change it. I love my family. I don't get that wrong, but I got lost along the way.


Then literally one day I just woke up and I'm like, what makes you happy?


And literally had no idea to the point that I didn't even know how to, like, dress myself again. Fashion used to be my thing, but I just I'm just now starting pay attention to that again. Right. All these women out here on Xanax drink and, you know, like it is sad as me how a lot of women out here numbing themselves just to survive in a way that they've been told they need to be to have happy lives but be measurable.


The expectation, expectation. And that's well, that's a big loss.


That's what I mean in regards to. How we lose ourselves. Are your kids smiling OK? Yeah. Is your husband thriving good. Yeah. Everybody else around you thriving, then you're doing good. You're doing good. And guess what? One day I woke up and I was withered. Curled up in a ball, curled up in a ball to die. But to real. It makes me feel like what I need to keep doing is. Training my heart and my mind to accept and move with loss, you're absolutely correct, Willow, in the idea that loss is a part of life.


Yeah, and when we lose things. You know, it gives us an opportunity to be grateful, to have gratitude for that time that we have with that person of that time of life that we had like teenage hood and gently and willingly and openly, constantly moving on like water.


Yeah, well, exactly. That's it. Here's to new beginnings, he has two loving friends and family and loved ones that we've lost his to the journey.


Yeah. OK, so let me try it and you'll soon you'll tell me. Yeah, we can do it together. It's going to something I'll do. All I did when I learned a lot about you today that I did not know that was Firmage. In my mind, I feel fat on the next table talk, we are talking about body confessions. So what was it the dad said to you? He said, dudes, look at the mind of a skinny girl before they look at their body.


A lot of people have been asking about why I've been wearing turbans. Well, it's not easy to talk about, but I am about it. Please keep the conversation going beyond the red table.


Follow the official show page for new episodes and updates to join the red table talk family and become a part of the conversation. Follow us at Facebook. Dot com slash red tabletop. Thanks for listening to this episode of Red Tablecloth podcast produced by Facebook. Watch Westbrooke Audio and I Heart Radio.


What's up, everybody? We're L.A. comedy group, Obama's other daughters.


And on our podcast you download, we're discussing what's going on in the culture, everything from dating to therapy.


Look ya, I got dumped on FaceTime, so I had to hold it together.


Thank you. So come Kiki with us, enjoying the kinds of candid conversations you only have with your girls. Listen to you down on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Who?


Baby, love my baby. Oh, hi, I'm Heidi Murkoff, host of What to Expect, a new podcast from My Heart Radio. When I first wrote What to Expect When You're Expecting I was pregnant with my daughter Emma, and my mission was simple to help parents know what to expect every step of the way. That mission has grown a lot, but it hasn't changed. Fast forward now as a mom. Hey, guys, we're teaming up to answer your biggest pregnancy and parenting questions.


From breastfeeding to sleep to tackling tantrum. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, but it can be overwhelming if you don't know what to expect. Listen to what to expect on the I Heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Šamaš are you ready, Mom? I was born ready.