How should one deal with teenagers? I think you're a little too old to deal with teenagers. The. Every age is a problem. No, no, I'm talking about the age is Stone Age was a problem. I ran into the problem. Bronze Age is a problem. Computer age, serious problem.

Isn't the Middle Ages the serious problems, the modern age is an immense problem, teenage another problem.

Uh, I hope you had a normal birth and you were born normally, so if you were born normally, you were born like this and slowly grew up and somebody counted your age and you also passed through 13, 14, 15, which you are referring to as teen.

This is as just a certain developmental stage, like an infancy, like childhood, like adult, like adolescence, adulthood, old age, middle age or whatever. These are all different.

We're trying to segment it. But essentially this is a physical journey of a body.

Tell me one phase of your life, which is not really a problem.

Some are suffering infancy problems. Some are suffering toddler problems. Some are suffering childhood problems.

Some are suffering teenage problems. Some are going through middle age problems. Some are going through all these problems. Some have transcended all problems.

Yes, if you look at it in this context, every phase of life is a problem and that is the only solution.

If you look at every aspect of life as a problem, what is the solution? That is the only solution.

Now, the moment you identify every phase of life as a problem, unconsciously, you start seeking that, please.

And all this for yourself and those around you.

You do not know this, but you are creating an ecosystem in your mind where the solution is to be free from all this.

You came here to experience life instead of calling these different facets of life.

You're calling it different problems that you have. If you die, you will have funeral problems because it's not easy to have a funeral in Mumbai, a city no more dignified funeral, isn't it?

Yes, there is no for people carrying you, your whole family and friends walking behind you with the drum, no more letter bomb being being stuck in the traffic, even dead.

You're stuck in the traffic. I want you to understand this, there are various types of situations in your life situations, some you know how to handle, some you yet to know how to handle whatever you do not know how to handle.

You call it a problem the moment you call something a problem, the moment to identify a situation. It's a simple situation because you have not equipped yourself to handle the situation.

You call it a problem the moment you call it a problem. Unpleasant is a natural consequence of that.

Your children are growing up. It should be a joyful moment.

Yes, they become teenagers means they're growing rapidly. Yes.

Or in other words, unfortunately, they're beginning to become like you. And you're distressed because you can see them becoming like you, I can understand. And also, the group that is not the problem, the beginning to become something different, they don't even look like my children anymore.

We have we have the largest we have, unfortunately, energized, helpless states of life, when you say infancy and childhood, what you're talking about is a certain phase of our life when we are pretty helpless without outside help, we cannot survive or be anything.

So we have energized this. Even so-called spiritual teachers are going about saying, I am a child.

I don't want to meet an adult who's a child.

It's another way of saying I'm retarded.

If you're stuck for your life in a six year old's body, you're called dwarfed if I'm using bad words.

I know it's not politically correct words. OK, your height impact.

Vertical improvement has happened.

If you are stuck in the in a six year old mind, you are mentally retarded.

No, you are what?

Huh? Differently abled you become. They are pretty words, all right, we don't want to insult people who are in such situations. We appreciate that.

But if you are energizing that state of a helpless face in our lives, which is childhood, where without somebody else's support, we cannot exist if you are lajeunesse, that you will remain that way forever.

And that is what has happened. I cannot live without you do not understand this is some kind of a love affair. It is just like saying I cannot walk without a crutch.

I am fine the way I am. But still I am willing to include you on in all my life with you. This is of great value.

I cannot live without you is not of any great value.

I can live without anybody's attention, but I'm willing to throw myself with absolute involvement with whoever is here right now.

This is of value because your eulogising helplessness or helpless faces of our life when you were a little baby, you can't even be by yourself.

Somebody has to take you.

I'm saying I'm like a child means then I'm looking where the diapers. Please, let's give him one, you know.

No. Now, what's happening with the so-called teenagers, you got used to your child as a helpless creature.

Now he is finding his own feet. You don't like it. You want to condense him into boo boo, boo, boo boo.

What you need is a toy or a doll to play with or maybe a dog, a couple were struggling, not able to make a decision whether to have children or not.

The debate between the husband and wife was the husband wants to have children.

The wife says it's not necessary.

We can get a dog instead because they couldn't settle it. They went to a marriage counsellor.

So they said, we're not able to make up our mind whether to have children or to get a dog.

What should we do? So marriage counselor said this is very simple. You want to ruin your carpets or your life, you must decide.

So you must understand this. If your life is a concrete block, then I see a concrete block, it has clear defined boundaries.

This is what I am like. There's no unemployment thing.

Even a, you know, a little child is this hour. That means I've become a concrete block because a certain amount of stupid information has come my way.

With this, I have formed a definition of what I am.

So once have formed a clear concrete block kind of definition to who I am.

You have two concrete blocks. Meet with great passion. What will happen?

If there is a loose boundary to you, if two people come with great passion, wonderful things of union may happen otherwise, do concrete blocks, glass, what happens?

You know, friction, friction and breaking of one of the concrete blocks are both will happen.

So once you become like a concrete block, you should not beget more concrete blocks because you are incapable of including another life as a part of yourself, because you have defined the boundaries of who you are.

So absolutely, you should not even get married if you ask me, because two concrete blocks living together already make a house.

It will not make a home for concrete blocks together will make a house.

Isn't nothing more beautiful than that will happen. We already too overbuilt in Mumbai.

We don't have to build more. OK, so children, when they come, when they're helpless and for everything, they look up to you.

You think your children are magical because they're helpless.

Suppose the baby popped out of you and stood up and said, hey, who the hell are you?

You won't like this baby. But he takes 14, 15 years to ask that question. In fact, that is all a teenage boy is asking, OK, who the hell are you?

So if you want to be somebody to start new, fresh life, which just come, you must not have defined boundaries of who you are.

Like when the child was an infant, when it crawled, you crawled with him. Now your teenager wants to swing. You must be able to swing with no. You still want to crawl with him. He's not interested. He's beginning as parents are looking ridiculous in the eyes of adolescents.

Yes or no.

Didn't your parents look ridiculous in your eyes unless you were old by the time you were 12, if you were young and energetic, your parents look ridiculous because they think you need to be crawling around to do that to you every day.

Life is changing within you because you're growing rapidly and the world around you not able to grasp that whoever they are usually grandparents become little more endearing than parents because they're looking for.

Well, look, you know, a little faraway look, because teen age means you're slowly getting poisoned by your hormones, although it means you're being released from that.

So they kind of understand. So those of you who admittedly have no clue where the hell you are. Even historically, the Middle Ages represent a confused state of mind.

So don't deal with your teenagers, please make them make yourself available to be dealt by them, make them responsible for everything.

One month, I'm telling you, one month you have the courage to hand over your monthly income to them and to manage the house, just give them responsibility, you will see dramatically that will change, you know, because you must understand, I am I have been a telephonic father, OK?

From the age of three and a half months, my girl traveled with me alone in the car.

We built the foundation in America, 800 traveling thousands of miles in one calendar year are actually in 14 months.

I did a hundred and thirty five thousand kilometers on my Maretti.

OK, so she was three and a half months old, one hand on her in the front seat strapped.

And my right leg doesn't go easy, you know, bone.

So she grew up in the car till she was four years of age. I thought I'll never send her to school because we had bonded. And she she had such wisdom because she has seen the road. She's seen the people. She's been in all kinds of families.

I thought I shouldn't mess this up by sending her to a school.

But you know, that age group, that company, unless you have a whole team of children at home, just one child doesn't work, just keeping them alone because they may become too old when they're young.

So I put her to school after that. After that, she's always continuously in one hostel to another. And but we kept a very active engagement thanks to the cell phones, a little bit of the black phone.

I would stop somewhere on the highway because I know only at a particular time you can call her in the school.

The school opens that phone time only one hour. So I am somewhere on a highway, find a black phone and get on. And for that one hour, I'm on the phone with her. That's hard for her. All the children outside are screaming at her here at the booth. All the people are banging on the booth.

So I always had this thing at that time. I'm driving on the highway. I have many, many phone calls to make. Local international came first. I would get down and go to that phone booth guy and give him one five thousand rupees.

He'll be surprised. Just hold it deposit and get into the phone booth. And now I am a valued customer.

The other people come and they want to make the call within three minutes and they are all standing in a queue and making faces at me and just gesticulating. But that guy says, no, don't disturb him.

Because they thought that it would be like making international calls, all calls, because no cell phones at that time.

So I find this time and speak and after that you want to call it. And then everything, whatever it has been pursuing, always on phone.

And we've kept a very active engagement and we've never really stayed home. If you come to our kitchen next day, will be traveling somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, but never really at home, but a very active relationship.

I kept with Tom largely on the phone, thanks to all the telephone waves that are going on.

So it was such an active engagement. Why? I'm saying this is and whenever I saw there's a certain intelligence in every child, I'm not trying to predict this is a special child. No, she's just normal. Brought up in a special way for sure.

The thing is just this.

If she comes home or if she's with me, I live all my important decisions in her hands.

She's only five, six People's Problems Foundation issues administration. I just put it to her. She comes up with her own wacky solutions.

But five out of 10 times she would have come out with something brilliant.

This is not I want you to understand, I'm not projecting this is a special child. It is just that most people never give that opportunity to a child's intelligence because they want to do boo boo boo boo.

Do do do do that.

And I never bought toys for her. If she wanted to play, I took her out for a walk in the jungle.

I put it up on a tree. She learned to climb trees and do things and stuff. Never bothered toys ever here and there. Somebody gifted, but she never was interested in them because there were more exciting things like what's next for her?

I got gardening lessons for her. Right? More exciting things like things to play with. You if you want to really do something with your children, you must allow them to expand because that's all they're trying to do. The body is not the only thing that's growing. The potential of being human being is growing. You must allow them to expand. Instead of that, you are seeing how to constrict them.

Then you have a huge problem whether if you have boys, you will have one kind of problem. If you have girls will have one of the kind of problem.

If you try to restrict you think restriction is a good way of controlling life, no responsibility will put them on the track, hand over your money to them and tell them this month you you're on vacation. You handle this whichever way you're afraid, maybe he'll go and blow it up.

What'll happen tomorrow if he blows it up? What happens to you will happen to him. Also, let him go through it for a matter.

Of course, you can keep some resolve, but let him understand. If he blows it up tomorrow morning, there'll be no breakfast and let him go through that. What's the problem? Let him understand that it is it's better to learn in a protected, caring atmosphere than out on the street tomorrow morning, isn't it?

And above all, a ball drop, this damn thing that your child belongs to you, if you think this child belongs to you when he is just becoming coming into teens, he's telling you, goddammit, I don't belong to you.

That's all he's trying to tell you, which you're not able to digest.

Another life does not belong to you. You've another life has chosen to be with you.

Please cherish that.

It's a tremendous thing. Whether it's your husband or your wife or your children, they don't belong to you, you don't own them in any sense.

If you don't get it, you will understand when you die or they die, they don't belong to you.

Another life has chosen to come through you or be with you to risk that while you that don't think you're the owner of this life, you're not.

So if you believe that you're the owner of your life, a teenager is beginning to make his own statements. Well, you don't go down on me.

He's just telling you that that's all in his own language.

Yes or no? They're just telling you you don't own me. But do they don't as another human being, you think they don't want to be included?

They definitely want to be included.

So teenage means there are many things, because one thing is your intelligence is being hijacked by your hormones.

So certain things are happening.

Suddenly, the world doesn't look the same as some scrawny little girl in your neighborhood who you are had nothing to do with.

Suddenly the little bumps on a body and your chemistry is poisoned.

You look at her, suddenly it's a new world. The whole world is looking different.

What was just people suddenly becoming male and female?

It's not a small change.

You know what? We're just people are suddenly becoming something else and something else. Suddenly you're interested in only half the humanity.

It's a huge change, you will see boys don't even look at their mothers directly because they still can't take their eyes off the body, but you must understand this, that it is new.

And here's like trying to come to terms with it.

If you were a good friend, if they had problems, if they had struggled, they would talk to you.

Because most parents are lousy friends, they make other friends and those friends give their own wacky advice because they are also in the same state.

It is best if your child has a problem, they come to you, isn't it?

Yes, but they will not come to you. If you are a boss, they will not come to you.

If you have ownership over that life, they will not come to you.

If you are that horrible father or mother, they will come to you if you are a good friend, because when they have problems, it is natural for them to seek a friend.

So make sure from an early age that you are their best friend till they reach 18 20. You are their best friend. Make it that way. And this you have to earn.

This will not drop because you delivered them, because you delivered them. You get the title of mother and father. You will not get the title of a friend. This has to be earned and every day responsible behavior from you.

I don't want to go too hard on you. We'll leave you here.