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Hello.

You're listening to Chakma annoyed with me. Rosie Ramsay on my seventh husband. He just doesn't know it. Chris Ramsey.

Well he does know about six of the bad. Just two episodes in and he finds out.

Can you imagine if that was true?

And then the rest of this podcast was just you listen like fucking Henry the eighth just listed all of you.

I've got a right to remember them by kill them all. Kill them all. It would make a lot of sense why I like to crime stuff. Yeah. Yeah. The true crime things getting silly. Oh it is getting silly every time I walk for new listeners. If you don't know Rosie just listens to true crime just.

Well you've got a thing of no where you can't, you can't have silence. You just need to listen to something.

I've told you it's I Googled this years ago. It's a sign of it's like depression. I can't have silence. Oh, that makes sense for the current climate. Well, yes, exactly. Why do you think I'm bingeing? Well, the other day. Right.

And then you listen to a true crime podcast and then it finished and like it immediately finished.

I was outside. I'm in the hallway and immediately finished. And then you put Survivor by Destiny's Child on. Yeah.

And I didn't know if it was the end of the podcast. I mean, if it was like and he didn't catch her and she survived. Hit it guys.

I must have like I was like a stop and then it cleared for the whole song and I was like, Kanada the don't play the whole song at the end. No.

I've had to make a Spotify playlist of like inspirational songs to me that year or so after year one of them.

Just in general, Chris, just everyday I need to we'll get into this more. I don't blame you.

It was just I walk in a walk, like to bring some clean washing or something up your dressing room.

And literally as I walk in, there's just a broken and the body was mutilated and I'm like, fucking well, it's 9:00 in the morning. What the hell's going on? I wanted to have sex before.

Chris Jesus. To this baby's. Yes, I'm going to be solving crimes. Headphones, headphones. Oh, that baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what, though? I'm thinking when the baby's here, if I go, if it's a bit quiet, I'm going to like get on some forums and start solving crimes with all of that true crime. Like celebs like don't fuck with cops.

Yes. Yeah, yeah sure. You'll make of it. It's going to be me. God I think I'll be good at be good detective. I think, you know, I've changed my note, you know, just as funny as you.

Well everyone here, everyone else can I just say that I think if Rosie's mysteries has proved anything, it's that you'd be a fucking terrible investigator considering you got most of them wrong. Oh, I mean, no, nothing to do today's is it.

Is it. But that's right. That's by the by. Come on. That's got Geisa is episode 82, as always.

Thank you so much for like subscribe and and please continue to and thank you for coming back and keep continuing to email us. And we love you so much. And you genuinely we get emails saying that we've held people and tweets not saying that we've helped people through lockdown. You guys have helped us through this situation. Yeah. Thank you so much. And please continue to keep doing that. And without further, you know what else has helped Rosie?

Lucrative sponsors.

Now, listen, because I've had I've had to as counsel left, right and center look at the sponsors have helped immensely.

The sponsor sponsor the real sponsors.

I'm really contractually well, you could say the real sponsors have done is pay our mortgage. This right now. This what happens now? This does nothing. This is just Eric to me. Well, this is absolutely no secret.

I'm not free to tell anyone that any other year this has happened at all. Me, has it gone on the podcast?

I'd be to probably sell cars and I'd be destroyed, but the lucrative sponsors of scorn and really come through for it. So this week sponsor is.

Yeah. Garlic sauce. Oh hey.

OK, we had a couple of pieces of pizza. I have some chips or something. Yeah. Yeah.

Well should you, should you get some or should you not. Or should I get some.

Go or get your pizza. Dip it in the. No. Oh yeah. Hey fast forward to I was late. Uh huh.

I wish you hadn't had that garlic sauce waking up the night stand in your mouth. Yeah it does it.

Yeah. Yeah. No saliva, just garlic. Just salt and garlic. Oh garlic. You have another dream. Oh yeah.

We have to drink so I'm gonna show you. You have a dream. You have a drink.

Tony, I once had a dream that a fireman was holding us down, not in a sexual way, genuinely. Just with a hose. Just the hose. Garlic sauce. Yeah, little pots of regret. It's always funny sometimes if the next is a bit hot, comes through your pores. Yes. You smell like garlic sauce. Yes. But not real garlic.

No garlic yogurt a. I don't know what they're doing in. Don't know is there any garlic in it, so I don't think so is why it looks like Tippex but it tastes like a member to heaven. I think tobacco is illegal now.

No, no, it's not. Sure. I'm sure you can't get it anymore. I remember the bandit and our school. You had to get the Tippex mice. They were good minds.

Well Medad got a tip asmus from an office where he was working as a mouse for you know, left in it though did go very quiet about it.

Gone oneword gone. Right.

Unbelievable. I mean Tippex was lovely but at the same time he's lovely. No it was, it was, it was a good invention. But sometimes I remember being very impatient and it would be very gloopy and you try to write over it and you'd make an absolute mess.

I mean, who the fuck we thought we were writing, you know. Oh, write about your trip to Penneshaw Monument in your Jota or even some Tippex.

Oh. Have you, though? Not really. Just wanted to use the one.

You just put a line through it. No one this when to put this in museums about me. Trip to Penneshaw Monument in Sundlun. They're going to need to know this.

I want Tippex a full pencil case. Wow. Oh yeah. Yeah. When I had a part time job I tippex the full tenison. Oh well good people to join me.

Pencil case systemis pencil case. And you don't have any graffiti on your pencil. One stitch.

Why am I not surprised. Nothing.

Ortner I had a gold pencil case. You know, the gold medal like swimsuit material. Not one little bit of not even a bit of like well I don't know now appears to steal it right on it.

And then it, it probably wrote you're a gimp Ramsey. Were you.

We would want to feel like it was I mean we might be breaking our record for the longest and or ever possibly. But who cares.

Garlic sauce, little pot of regret. Mm. Heaven heaven on the sauce flivver.

Tippex right is the jingle. We had a fight about the jingle jingle. We could sing along to jingle jingle. Yeah. So this is the jingle jingle.

We hope you like the judo team got Mamadou ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Chakma Adenoid, let's get out of the way. Now, you just reminded us before we start. Come on.

Yeah, me too. Twenty twenty dollar job 2020 has its final horrible Nobley long nield.

Dirty, vile bits of sharp bits sticking out finger. Yeah. Right up inside my anus. Yeah.

And had a little rummage around and it's finally pulled the last bit of hope for me to us out of the arse and rolled up the ball and flicked.

I don't know whether it's analogy's or listen.

My last two idiots have been shifted and the spring ones went first and then the shukman noise one went. Now the autumn ones have gone and saw the entire tour.

Anyone listening who's got tickets for my stand up to the autumn ones shout out to the people still tweeting us, asking if they're going ahead. By the way, that beautiful little optimist's that's half full.

I need a bit of that. Right.

Allami, life bless you so much. And the whole autum leg of me twenty, twenty two has been moved to.

I mean, the thing is, you can understand where they're coming from because all the pubs are open, all the restaurants are open.

Like for a lot of people, life is going back to normal. But, you know, I mean, theatres that that's where covid want to stay. You know, Corvet thinks, oh, I fancy seeing the short and I it's quite a cold shed virus.

Pardon me. I mean, of course it goes mental. Yeah. Just, you know, everybody, but it loves the pubs of the pubs.

But in a lovely way though.

Can't get it. You can't get it after seven.

It's a time off in the pub.

So that's annoying to her and seems to be the last fucking thing that's ever going to come back. Fuck knows when but twenty twenty one they are scheduled for. Let's keep everything crossed.

They've also been a shitload of new dates added because they said, hey, I've got a year off, get me the fuck out of this house. So there's been some new dates out.

It's going to look on my website. Anyone who's got tickets for the twenty twenty dates there will be valid for the next ones. And the ticket agent.

So that do you remember in January when we calculated the year with the two, as in everything when I get to listen to move house. Yeah. Hey, listen, let's celebrate.

So that's not happening. So yeah.

I'm glad you put extra because that would be nice next year, the year after. We'll see. We'll see what Ron has got a bit.

Steve, on that note, Robin is back at school today. He is. Yes. The Lord knows how long for.

Well, just want to take this moment. I haven't told you about this, but I just want to at this moment, just to see genuinely. We started doing this at the beginning lockdown. What we just want to check on you all that you're all OK, because at the minute it's it's really utterly shit. And it felt like it was getting a bit normal, but then it's gone back to just a bit shit. And just to let you know that we are struggling as well.

Yeah. And you're not alone in struggle. And it's been really hard with kids. Lockdown's been really hard. Schilens been hard this past six months have been extremely difficult.

And then the government turn around and go. Now we can only have six people in and whatever only spurious fucking rules are unless you're out fucking foxes or grouse in which. But let's you can get on that.

Yeah. We just want to see you guys. We have I mean, we had we had discussions this morning, Rosie, not obviously if you listen to some Friday, but the day we recorded it, we have discussions of when she would do it. Are we in the mood? We could do it tonight. We'll put it off. It's really hard to get in the zone.

And we would just want you to know that even if we come on on here and we'll have a laugh, only having a laugh because we're just thinking about you guys and reading the stories and taking the piss the rest of the time.

It's just fucking God.

It constantly there's local lockdown's lewman. The news and the media are just big piles of shit. It's just constant fucking negativity. You don't even watch it anymore. We all get locked down only and I don't even know I'll be.

The police will tell us about your age.

What a thought or how she couldn't. You told us not to tell you were actually locked out. Oh, no, no. We're on the watch list. Yeah, kids are good.

Kids are getting, you know, positive test of that at school and whole fourteen year groups are showing down. What the fuck? So, look, we're all in it together. We all think it's absolutely shite. Robin's back at school. Please, everyone keep everything crossed that he stays there as long as possible just for him, just for his mental health. Just not all of our kids mental health need it.

Let's try and get back on the positivity train and let's have a little laugh for the next hour.

Let's do it. Let's do it now.

I know it well. Might not be now with the little chat that we just did about Tippex old well Pictou earlier.

I know. So yeah. Just as well. Just a little warning to your listeners. Sandra's currently staying with us because she's getting a walnut through in a flat. So she's not a euphemism.

Well, like a like, you know, she's got a war knoxfield office. My mother you're talking about. So that's what my mother in law saw. And not your mom, though, when you start talking about euphemisms for your mom and dad can see you from his mom and dad. I know that he didn't say a struggle struggle to actually know what it meant to him.

Sorry about being dirty. Thank you. My apologies anyway. Yes, she is a douche like.

But she's not having a wall. Not through sex today. Not to the wall. And she's gone shopping for her. So she'll be back in a bit or she might interrupt. We've got an IKEA delivery coming. Yeah. And I've got something else. I forgot where it's coming anyway.

So if the phone rings, guys with sorry, big picture IKEA finally having Fokin wardrobes in Christ on a bike and it's been a long time coming.

Tequila's modu most dressed in this White House.

Tell you what. What happened, man. What's everyone been doing? Lockdown happened. People stayed at home so and sold out flour, sold out wardrobes, dogs and bikes.

What's everyone do so in a wardrobe making bread at the dog. Like washing your hands after a fucking stop fucking buying. Everyone stop buying all the shit I need pocketing I have.

I told my thing on here. What I told my.

Well I've been talking about this for a while and somebody mentioned it on social media. And I was like, I've been saying that for months, but I haven't said it publicly. And I thought, well, I've got Poca. So I'm going to say it just because this is what this is what I think should happen. Right. Sanitizing stuff is amazing. Totally agree with it. Let's keep sanitiser on trollies.

And when you go a trial.

Right, why can't the government make little water fountains. Right. And we all get Sentebale resource of the government. OK, you could pay like tenpence bar soap. Doesn't have to be nice. Everybody put your Barasso in a little freezer bag right in your bag and wash actually wash your hands instead of just sanitising because I like washing my hands.

OK, where are the water fountains in this in this Utah and this utopia.

You've all all about water fountains all over. Yeah, I've seen sanitizing stations have been fully blown.

Built is one of the nuke where there's like six sanitiser like on it on a rotation build a little water fountain doesn't have drinkable water.

You forget your soap. Why, why, why are they sending it. So the building water fountain. But they're not providing the sort the send in everyone sorp and you've got to in this world that you've created and you've got to carry it around in a fucking bag like a nut bar.

So it would be cheaper for the government to do it en masse. Right. Right now I'm trying to look after the economy.

If the economy in your world and you all know what you've just said, if you want a free bar of soap in the country, but that's cheaper than buying hand sanitizer and it's better for the environment, put it at the fucking station if you don't want to be using the same sort of liquid soap.

But liquid soaps.

Quite expensive, isn't it? Right.

I just thought about why are you ruining my breath? Because it's a breakthrough idea. It's mental.

It's a mental idea. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you I'll tell you the reason now why there is not water fountains everywhere for people. Why?

Because what pay? Oh, come on. I'm telling you right now. Would piss in them. That would hit. Everyone will pay them.

Then it would see in massive footprint signs above not drinking water. And some would go and fill a water bottle and drink over and then go to the council and go, I got ill drink in the water or was above the sign that said not drinking water.

Well, I didn't say that I love my glasses. Oh, I forgot my bar of soap. Was it me glasses case. Not me glasses.

Right. You've made us realize how utterly ridiculous people are and you've got to operate at the law. Flawed idea. OK, that's the sad thing about this whole thing. We've got to operate at the level of the person who will piss in the fountain and who will drink water that says not drinking water. That's why this whole thing has come about, because they have to operate at that level.

Fair enough. But anyway, if it goes ahead, I just want to say that it was my career, so take credit for it.

You know, I've got a really horrible feeling that it might and will start getting tweets and emails. And remember, when it's called for me, for me, I'll be just here.

Not not prime minister. I don't want to I don't want to be prime minister.

Do you honestly want to be prime minister who calls for a job in the government? Seriously, what's wrong with you? Can you imagine spending every day just arguing with people in that room? Oh, no.

Nonstop. What if so. Oh, just it would just drive me I'd be in a mental institute by the end of the year.

No way. Honestly, I'd come up with all these lovely ideas and then it would just be like nuts. Get me out here, you know, with no thank you. I mean, no thank you. Politics.

You're your bar of soap to every single house in Britain would last three seconds in the House of Commons that all did nothing.

Whether or not, Mr Speaker, who is this fucking idiot? Get her out of here. So the Right Honourable Lady. Oh, yeah.

I'm not a twat.

Anyway, now that we've offended everybody in politics, let's crack on because they don't in the daily briefings when they start saying not now for questions from the public and everyone's like tweeting us going to their idea, like, oh, I'm telling you, the soap thing's going to happen.

I'm going to get tweets that send insult to everyone. But it happens.

They should, though.

They should have sent soap to everyone because it's A, B, C, so called get my head around the fact that it just it just sort out the when it came on the news, wash your hands and everyone. OK, then and then it was everyone was very aware that no one had really bought soap bars of soap didn't sell out.

Oh not just liquid only liquids only sold out, not bars of soap bars of soap work the same store.

I love the so we've got a parcel upstairs.

It's a fucking grease pit is what Michael says. I don't know what it was I thought was a Christmas present. You had an open but it was posh paper. The biggest possible. And presumably you love it. Yeah. Yeah. Gets right in your arse. It's lovely. Cheap you do.

It's funny. It's funny. I tell you what, there's another flaw in the idea. Everyone be stick with are Rosie.

If you put on if you put fountains on street corners people will be watching the decks and that guy who washed his dick in a puddle and he'd be wasn't now we'd be like, well, they all laughed at us now. Oh, I can't believe they've read me emails that I've sent to the council for Dick Washing Stations.

If they could see me now, that guy got mine.

So happy to put Dick Handwash. It's not mine have been read me. I'm a dick Washington. Say why are you washing your hands and what is it I can do Bob. A Babalu. Babalu.

But now Rosie, this week I've got a little surprise for you because I know them every five minutes you think of a new feature for yourself, right? And yeah. You know, make up a theme tune and stuff like that. Very, very short sound theme tune.

Yeah. Yeah, all that stuff. Yeah. Very, very shoddy and very rushed together this week. I was on the social media today and a few individuals were trending and I've heard a blog called Winnipegger.

Does he only in gospel? I think he did only Niggaz Ball, I'm not 100 percent sure he's Goldfinger's his brother. Basically all the judicial guys know him and stuff because he's a big party guy. He's got like clubs and a beat and a beat that you could be. I think he's in Dubai is a big brother. Yes.

Cardinals would be, you know, sort of almost along Yeadon Bulgarian kind of lines like a big Instagram guy, all the block, really rich, famous for being rich and famous, entrepeneur that their parents oppose and that are marginal and we like them.

Wow. Unbelievable. All right. And so he was trying to do dinner.

I wanted to know why. And basically is is 58, but he's written on his Instagram. So my family have decided I'll just turn the laptop around to just show you a photo of him, not tell you what.

If I looked like this one in 58, I'll be over the fuckin moon.

And he kind of inches tall. Quite nice. Yeah. He's in good neck, solid silver hair.

They're good tan. Yeah. But he smells nice.

Be from Dubai. It looks like he smells fantastic. Yeah. So my family have decided I need a girlfriend for my own sanity and health. Right. So here's my criteria and he's put a list of his criteria.

OK, so let's play. Is rules eligible for Werlin.

A guy is eligible for women. I think he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eligible for women. They go, oh is she too old and too old. Well, you never know.

We'll say, I do all the things, but I want to give too much finish. Or will he tell her to fuck off? Hey, hey, that was nice. That was nice. They were so no one ever done.

OK, so I've got. I mean, it was trendy because it's I mean, it's lunacy. The list. It's fantastic.

Oh, great. And I've also on the other page here, I've got the only thing I forgot do was count them up.

But I've got I've got a checklist of these criteria here. And so you'll get a point for each one. You get a point together to see if I'm eligible to see if you're eligible for Aleinikoff. Great.

And also, there might be a little surprise at the end if you don't try to possibly win yourself and not mine anyway despite it. Right.

I mean, at the end, are you selling? What if I don't want to have any chance? Did you see the photo if you heard what he owns. Right.

I mean, you don't want to fuck. Do you think this is. Of course you'd want to be fifty eight. Excuse me. He's a eligible bachelor.

Will go. Right. Didn't really know who he was. The ten minutes.

The option isn't, if you will or not, it's as if he will not. OK. Right.

This is The Bachelor I out with his brother and I imagine I imagine I don't know the guy, but I imagine he hates hearing that. And it's not funny. The listener would really like Crisp's. And you just kind of got your rights their way and if you listen to what but I mean his rhetoric by some critics, not only I mean the duties back when the free.

OK, so it's criteria is. Yeah. Strong nice loving personality. OK. Yeah absolutely. I've got them then.

He's brought now to more important things. You must like older men but only me. You have to be a worldy and above 30 Brackett's ok, 29 of 20.

It could work but not my age and that would just look weird.

You must like to travel and fly business class and stay in incredible hotels, be prepared, give up your career or job, or at least be able to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere. You will need to spend the summer in a beta and the winner in Dubai with two weeks in the UK for Christmas and New Year with family holidays in the Maldives, no baggage as mine are all grown up.

A dog is acceptable, but it will need a passport and you must be able to cook as I love cooking, especially with ready meals.

It's not cooking. You also don't need to be verified.

I can sort that out for you in your own W.T. criteria, which will go through it at the end. I will go through it in this particular house.

Music and ah and be lovers only. No heavy rock or pop music. You must like Netflix, especially money heist and also real crime.

Hello. Save it at the end. No chick flicks. Watch them with your mates.

You need to be confident enough to be able to go to the front of the queue in nightclubs and accept a table and free drinks from the owners. You will need a driving licence to share Bentley and a Lamborghini Jeep Brackett's pending. You must never have shed a teeth whitening post.

Well, I'm not on any dating sites.

You shouldn't be too. I'm not on only funds. You shouldn't be too. You must love the gym and healthy food and have body definition as I will have soon. Love soon laffoon accept and love my children and grandchildren and realize no more kids for me. Brackett's never say never though.

You must be able to let my playbook all of your flights and purchase items online for you. You just need to send him a link. You must be able accept my friends and I will accept yours and you have to accept that I will die. I will reply to girls DM's not just guys. One last thing. Your geography needs to be on point as girls who think Lincoln is in Wales is not could be intelligent but not boring. Outgoing suits and hot.

I mean hashtag wifi where you at hashtag hashtag real hashtag go in the bin Laden.

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life, is a ridiculous thought because it's time to play.

Is Rózsa eligible for Werlin? Great. OK, so strong.

Nice personality. Yes. Check you do Rosie. You doing really well.

Thank you really well thank you.

Like older men but only me know you don't like older men are not fifty eight years old if you like him. No not that. Not I don't. I looks good. No not that I know. I know in the photo. Looks all right for four fifty eight. I don't, I don't want to be with fifty eight year old man. Thank you.

Well my dad's only sixty two here just right across from the choice I've made in life. You're not doing great so far.

OK, ok. You must be a worldy.

No sorry.

Big KIPP's, I mean you know not worldy anymore.

Look, win win to me.

She's a world sport. I don't know if if I don't know she'd be a world leader.

You don't think I'm somebody's world worldly so they go above thirty.

Yes, you are above. I am doing well. You're doing well. OK, but not fifty eight or you.

Fifty eight. No, not today. Great. Excellent, good stuff.

Like the travel business class and stay in and I quote incredible hotels please.

Who in the world is going to say no, no, no, no.

I like standard lesson win if you want me right. World class and all you have to. I come with a Travelodge, I come with A, B and B I in Scarborough and that's that.

Don't you dare put me and anything above to stop and give up your career or job and work on a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere.

Well OK, all this and it's well to go through the back but you come on the back to tell what's going on. The front door maniac stupid.

So hang on, you're quitting or you quitting your job to give up your job or or be prepared to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere to do that. Will you work from home so you could absolutely do.

That's going to be absolutely Reija when I turn up once a week on that beach and we do the podcast, you won't mind.

I've got from this. That is quite easy going. OK, so you can do that. OK.

Are you prepared to spend the summer in a Betha win in Dubai, two weeks in the UK for Christmas, plus holidays to the Maldives? I don't know where he's put them and he must have.

I mean, there's a lot going on there. Can we go anywhere else or is it just those three? I'm not I'm not to want to be fussy.

Very specific that a lot of see, so we can't go anywhere else, can squeeze in a little Greek island or a really want to go to Sardinia. Right.

OK, well and on behalf may I say how dare you.

Listen, no I'm fine with actually I can do that. Yeah. It's a bit sick of England, but you must have no kids.

Well I've got obviously one and then one on the way.

But you're here me. OK, I to have to, I'm going to have a market down for that. Right. So we take up a point.

You really let yourself take up to a point because it's going to be two. It will. Yeah. Yeah. That's a shame.

Do you have a dog. No I don't. You don't have a dog. Yeah well if I are mostly if you've got a dog, it does need a passport. That's fine.

OK, because we don't live far from Durham. Right. There's a passport office there to get it in the same day the doing so. OK, happy days. That's fantastic.

And must be able to cook especially Waitrose ready meals. I'm a good cook. Can you do it. Was ready meals.

I mean you are. I've done the Lasantha before but that's about it. When. Just just come into the show. Hello. Yes. Just to show to look at what is it like on the road on the other end of this microphone.

All of them there. We're doing it now.

It's all right man.

Fucking Charlie Chaplin we should set.

You are actually be mama hasn't got a chance in hell with them.

Oh, no. How are you then? No, Sandra. Oh, I know he's not going to go for that. What else you got? When was the last time he was ready meal?

Not long ago actually. Which is the Zenia, right? Yeah.

I'm going I'm put a point there, but I'll put it back. It's windy like lasagna.

But to make sure I don't want to be questioning him much, but I'm not being funny and you get a Waitrose meal and be there to buy, I imagine the mobile right.

Fair phone or he might take them with him. You might have one of the big freezer box.

I mean, that would be a pretty big bag, but that's fine. OK, OK.

And I imagine anybody he holds is a cupboard, right.

Just saying why are you honestly listen, you see these poor folk and you don't need to be verified on instr, but he can sort that out.

I am verified already. Yep. Not on Twitter though. OK, I don't know what this was on interest. I don't know. But you're also giving him a bit of job here. I mean, I'm not sure I understand that you're saving them. You're saving a phone call at least.

Yeah, right. House music and all Belova.

Oh I can leave house music rb.

I do do enjoy but house music I'm afraid. I'm afraid I could always wear earplugs.

I could know Chris. I know I could be in the club if I'm invested now. No one wants half a point. I love RMV though.

Let me ask you, what's the, what's going on.

I can't even think which in cream and what I mean. No what I mean peaches. Um yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

I do know win as a fan of that song so that's good.

But it's only a half a point on Netflix money. Highest real crime fan. Yes. Yeah. Yeah definitely. I mean that's definitely good point for that. OK, chick flicks watching we your mates.

Well but I who I love. No mate over there. Perfect spot. I'm not a big fan anyway.

I am confident. Are you confident of to go to the front of a nightclub to get a table from the owner and accept free drinks from the owner.

Let's do a little role play. Yeah. That you pushing the current. Excuse me. Excuse me to who I am. Oh you. I'm Linnik as right. OK, and I'd like a table and I'd like three bottles of Grey Goose, I'd like seven cans of Red Bull and I'd like to have them sparklers and I'd like three ladies in really little bikinis to come and bring them over to me. Table please.

Now, now I think you nailed it.

Wonderful. You know what? I'm to get an extra point for that. Thank you. Absolutely fantastic. Wonderful stuff. Do you have a driver's licence. Yes. Excellent.

Got to drive nice and clean and good. You're going to be sharing a Lamborghini and a Bentley. I'm going to mark down here that you did curb. I was on my car recently when you drove my car. OK, I am going to let we know about that.

And have you ever done a teeth whitening post? No, no. I mean, I've done loads of other shit, but I haven't done the teeth whitening post. OK, OK.

Oh, you want to be dating sites? No. Great. I want to own. Do you have an only funds page. Not currently not current. I won't go away and great. OK, not your husband but your wonderful way.

That's fantastic. Do you love the gym and health food and will you have a defined body like defined body like he soon will absolutely not kill.

No, sorry. I'm never going to happen. I mean, you know, I want to get into coaching for the person when I do want to get in touch with H.R., but I am sitting opposite you and I can't confirm can confirm that is a new.

You were think about how 10 minutes were you love his kids and grandkids?

I never met them. And you know what? By this and probably not. No, no, no. Hey, that's not bad. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Honestly, he's going to be really going to him. That's not cool, right? Do I have to love these kids? Got to accept. No, I have to get rid of me. Own that. I have to love him. Yes. I mean, it sounds logical. OK, fantastic. Let's go.

OK, so do you want more kids? No, I'm quite happy. We can't help unless you're actually pregnant.

So that's that's a lot. Yeah. OK, but I'm, I'm actually obnoxiously independent. I'm OK.

Listen, let's let's leave that one for now. Honestly, you're doing so well in the middle and this is a real problem here.

And all you are you prepared to let us pay book and buy all of your stuff?

Gladly. Gladly. Skinniness, I mean, is part of a pay.

Yeah. No copy has confirmed that it's not because it's. I cannot accept is going to accept yours. He's going to accept your marriage. I don't think my mates would accept him. But listen, yes, I will accept his mate. OK, I've got a really good poker face, and it's the least I can do.

Yeah, it will be. Your partner, Gozde is not a problem.

I mean, why why would it be. I love to be cheated on. Yeah. No, it's my favorite thing. I love that love whenever in a relationship that bond I speak no other woman so I'm fine with that. Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good. Yeah.

Yeah that's fine. So you can say you know what that is. Actually that puts a tick in the confidence column.

Oh great. My confidence geography. You've got me shit out of geography. Yeah. Or you actually should all geography.

No I'm not, I'm, I'm really not. But I mean we're only going to three places.

What you expect and I'm sorry I don't know anywhere else is easily the hypocrites.

I will.

I will, I will learn where Dubai, Abeta and the Maldives are on the map. I know England is already. I'll be fine. I'll survive.

OK, out of twenty eight you've scored an incredible twenty one. Wow. OK, when you asked what I thought I'd done a lot with however. Yeah.

He's not a serious businessman. He's women for God's sake am anything less than a hundred percent is not going to work for him.

Right. So I'm not.

It's a no for now. However, it's time to end the all or nothing bonus round all this more.

As you know the geography has to be shit. All right. If you get this geography question right. Yeah. You can marry willing.

Right. And you can live happily can today to eat roses in the next room.

Can you could you not hear the R and B coming from son of anybody, OK?

OK, this is this is exciting. OK, you guys are all excited as I am. OK, here we go.

Possibly the last episode of the podcast because Rosie may now go live in and Dubai and the U.K. for two weeks on the Maldives. God knows why. Do one with him. I'll do one with him. Hmm.

Yeah, I'd look forward to that m. Your geography bonus question is all or nothing, the country of Hungary is landlocked in Europe and borders.

How many countries is it? Oh, I like it. I like an option. Is it one? Is it five or is it seven?

The country of Hungary is landlocked in Europe and borders, how many countries is it one, is it five or is it? I'm going to go with seven. You're going to go with. I'm going to go with seven. Yeah, if you'd said one or five, yeah. You'd still be living in Michigan and looking for would be congratulations. Oh, you're going to repeat that.

And the Maldives and Dubai. Oh yes, yes. Back to the island.

Graduation's honestly, genuinely, really, really. Congratulations.

I wish all in the world and with the Free Syrian freestylers, anyone listening who would like to be my new co-host on this podcast, please get in touch as Rosie will be busy from now on.

Forbidden. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Do barbecue, barbecue, but it's time for what you believe, your beef, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.

You may also notice there's no Roses mysteries this week because Chris's new segment took up too much of the show. You have sacrificed it this week, but we'll be back next week.

What are you're going to phone in from before you get a hold on one visit? You're going to call in from Dubai.

Are you unhappy going to leave in parties? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'll be none of them. And it picked a terrible year.

I'm telling you right now, if you are in your new circle of friends and you say leaving parties instead of Claus and parties is going to be on your face. Oh, you haven't used the wrong terminology.

If you say, oh, I'm going I'm going to the DC 10 leaving party, look at where. OK, you'll get where you put it, honestly.

So I don't need anything at all, but. What is your might be with you this week.

Now we have we've talked in the past about how I have to put this pen. I really enjoyed clicking my pen while I was quizzing you.

And we've talked in the past about how you were a terrible, terrible passenger, horrific passenger.

Yesterday, you took it to another level. Just in the car. Yeah, in a car. Yeah. Yes, I do. And when I'm driving specifically. Yes, they were driving back from IKEA. You're sitting on your phone as you do when I'm in the car, which was what I thought.

Meantime, you look up from your phone as we were coming off the more awareness slip road. Right. You looked up randomly and so a random slip brought trees and stuff and angrily went, what are you going this way for?

And I looked at you and went, What? What do you mean this is the right way? And he went, Oh, yeah.

So it is you basically locked up, didn't recognize the slip road in a in a in a split second and just had to go. What is that. I was going the wrong way and I wasn't going the wrong way.

You have on many occasions took us 45 minutes out of our way by taking the wrong turn and named one of those occasions right now.

Well, I don't know exactly where we were in the country, but you've done it so many times. You were terrible driver. No, you were great driver.

Honestly, do you want make someone told rather rosy someone sitting next to them constantly saying that they were a terrible driver and criticizing the driver and it puts you on edge. It makes you make mistakes.

Not if you were a good driver when. Well, why don't you try why don't you try not doing it? And so, you know, I have tried.

It's impossible. I really do try.

You know, I've held it, but I do hold it back with and you said, look before and it bubbles up and you just pop up like you popped out of a dream and going on this way. I did apologize for that, though. Yesterday I did see sorry. I thought it was a different what did I apologize again, officially. I just said it there.

What kind of. No, but I said it didn't that I'm not going to apologize for my beef with you this week. Christopher Ramsey. Yes. At the minute. Well, actually, this has been happening. Our whole relationship. It's to do with cause OK, OK. For some reason when we're in the car. Right.

If your friends ring near me, Jason Kook or Carl Hutchinson or your mom or any if anybody rings, you always make it really away that I'm in the car with you.

Yeah. You go out of your way to go here as well.

And I'm just wondering, how much do you like me?

I'm really good. I'm always single time because I could be you could have a really quick conversation with your mom or whoever. Right. Your manager or whatever. You can have a really quick conversation. And they don't even know that I'm there because it's not about anything in particular or whatever or if it's about work or if it's about something else. Right. I, I like to just be a bit anonymous if I'm honest and be like you carry on your conversation.

I'm just here, you make me part of that conversation and I don't want to be.

And also it's just got me it's just got the little thing turn.

And what is it that called. Want me to explain. I don't know anyway for is for and yes. So it's just got me thinking how much do you like me off. Well you have to specifically say that I'm there so that they don't just go whatever bitch.

Well yeah well my mom and Jason and call and anyone else and my manager and anyone who rings is I'll say hello there, say hello. And the first thing they normally see is, is that's like you're married with you. Right. Just like work at risk.

Is that why you don't have to get in there? For some reason?

I personally I hate it when I find someone and the talk way it was. And then in the conversation, someone like that wife of the kids, someone will come up and go, oh, yes.

This year you've been on speakerphone the whole time and I haven't been slacking off, but I feel fucking cheated. I'm like, well, why didn't you make me away? I want to know who was listening. So I just give them the courtesy of going, Oh yeah, oh, we're in the car. Rosie's here as well.

OK, OK, I'll get that. Fair enough. Fair enough. That's all it is. Well let's just going forward. Yeah. If it's just a really short conversation, I don't want to miss your conversation.

So what you want me to go. I call your roommate. Is this going to be a short conversation, a long conversation or quite long? I wanted to. All right. Well, Rosie's here if it was short.

Oh, if you just wondering what time you coming round or how much do you want to pick the best. I don't need a. Involved, I don't need to be introduced to that conversation, don't know what they're going to say, what you want me to know. So you in a perfect world, you want them to do a pretext or email or whatever? Yeah, this will solve it.

Don't answer the phone. Let's answer the phone. No, no, no.

Well, I'm just saying that we had to like it. I do it on my phone.

I don't tell anyone that either, because I just don't I don't stay on the phone for ages. I don't gossip and not like you and you, mate.

All right. That's me.

You're welcome. Well, it's very selfish and silly and stupid, and I don't accept it.

Go ahead. I'm a double bed.

Double time for questions from the public and the public public. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

I was going to say, go there, guys. As always, thank you so much for get in touch and shake my head annoyed at Gmail dot com if you want to send us anything. Dilemmas, arguments you have on stories, whatever you want, please send it in. We absolutely love that you're still sending stuff in. Thank you. I'm the kick off today. Yes.

Just a really short one in reference to last week's podcast. I'm sure if you haven't heard, go back and listen to that.

Someone just wrote Hi, Chris and Rosie. Thanks to last week's podcast. This week's update on my baby has been ruined. And she sent a screengrab of our up.

Hmmm. Right.

You know, and it just says 33 weeks pregnant.

Your baby is a butternut squash, a butternut squash in a similar place to where it would have been if it had been shelved.

That's all it says.

Let's oh, hope Rosie's pregnancy is going well, Emma.

That's all in my mind this week is the size of a large popcorn, a large fine that really owned specific popcorn that. Just have a look. Yeah. So I'm twenty three weeks. Why are corn. No, it says the size. It's a size. Oh hang on. No that was last week.

Large bucket of popcorn, a little bit of popcorn like twenty three weeks this week.

The size of a fruit pie.

Stupid. It's ridiculous. It doesn't make swing. How big is the tree that you had in the pie and where you get from the pie.

I know what fruit. Costco. Morrison's stupid but I'm an multis puppy. Well the babies multiples of multis probably. And fruit and woman aubergine. Well that's more specific.

That's fine. Yeah. Aubergine this week. So that's good. I'll save your little baby aubergine. I'm sorry.

My name's actually so that's quite good. Baby aubergine. Yeah. Wow.

I would probably do Babalu back. Hi Chris and Rosie.

I have a dog who I shared with my ex partner. Oh I know. He was my 21st birthday present and he's the best dog ever.

When I split with my partner, um, I let him keep the dog as I didn't want my ex to be alone. Oh, that's far too nice, isn't it?

Yeah, it's really nice, especially if you're the best dog I ever know.

At first he let me see the dog every so often. But gradually the visits decreased, not coincidentally, at the same time as I started dating someone you got. Yeah, funny that got you. And now my ex doesn't let me see the pooch at all. Oh, really sad. Obviously this is heartbreaking for me is my dog was my bestie, but I don't regret my decision as I think the dog helped him get through the breakup. This person is far too nice.

She also values herself in a relationship quite highly like, OK, so even though I'm so awesome, you're going to need a companion to get yourself through this champ.

Do you know what? You keep the dog, sweetheart.

You're going to need it because I will be boxing before you ask about the dog, which I don't please don't come into my question to you both is what's the worst thing you've ever let an ex partner keep?

And would you ask for it back? Oh, uh, follow up question.

What would you want to keep if you split up with each other now other than Robin and Baby Rúnar podcast?

Right. Next question. It has to be something you both like. Podcast want to ship. Next question.

Is that what you want from probably the living contract's been laid out for that. So is that the problem?

Has they actually had an economic management have probably discussed divorce?

There'll be a meeting, do you think? Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. It'll be like this is all good and they're doing well. What happens if they all go tits up? Like what do we do? Who keeps who? What happens to get rid of them both to get rid of one of them. Oh my gosh. We really, really awkward. Oh that'll be interesting. Let's not do that.

Let's talk about that. They said you said I'll be interested as if. Let's do that one day. Oh no. Just if it happens it'll be interesting to see that. But wouldn't it be awful. Why do you like to keep.

Oh what would I like to keep. First of all, if you got any exes things that kept anything.

No, I don't think so.

Now, I once went to pick a girl up on a date who I've been going out with me girl very long and I pulled up me, call them to pick her up and she got in the car. I knew nothing about what was happening. Right. I was just like, you know, pulled up textiles, like I'm outside and we're going out for the day somewhere. And she got into the car with all of the stuff outliner like like all just piled on like DVDs before I did film study and four or five DVDs, like a hoodie, like something else.

I don't like Tatia at all, just on a knee and just literally sat in the car when items like school and park, subway and tall.

And I was like, oh. And then just split up with you. And I went around the block and dropped off.

Oh, all that was. Oh don't.

I'm laughing because obviously. Yeah it's funny but it is very sad. It was just weird.

As she got in I was like I'm going to made a joke.

I was just like I watched all them already of you. Did you not have any idea?

Nah, not until she said, let's go and talk to you are just oblivious to this. I swear to God.

Well my first thought was just to wash that hoodie. You. That's nice of her. Well, she must have finished watching all of those DVD that I only gave her a couple of days ago. That's strange. And we have a split up.

I'm really going to have to lay it on thick with you on a like months in advance. I'm going to have to drop some big, big warnings.

Yeah, well, I mean, I imagine when I'll be kicked out of the house or maybe I'll be moved in by one, what would I want to take? Hmmm, sort of as, yeah, you're not going to lie, love this, all of us are probably all all of the furniture, all of the furnishings, because I've chose all of that. And that's probably about it. Half the house. Oh, I don't like this is a bit sad, isn't it.

So you settled on all them. That's all the stuff you take. Yeah. Good. Do you want more at home.

Got you back.

I know BP did it on the road again. And you know, you can live in this climate. You can live in there live now.

Well, shit. Abu Dhabi.

Dubai got another one here. Okeydoke. Dhiya the Ramsey knows. Yeah, I've just realized that. No idea. The Ramsay.

So do you want going to be to you to claim this one or whatever. Yeah, well no. You're the real Ramsay to be a winner at heart. Actually you are. You're a turncoat aren't you. What's that mean when you just like dropped your name all the way through your life?

When we got married, I thought my name. Yeah, that name disgraceful, isn't it, just because it was that region, wasn't it?

We know that. I know it's been a woman as well, Chris.

It's the women who have to drop the name. Didn't have to do that. You've got to accept it. I mean, I could have, but I couldn't be asked to love a lot more admin to keep your name than it is.

I like feminism, but you know what? I can't be asked.

You should be ashamed. I agree with you. Even though she was a bit of a dick start again. Rosie Ramsay is much nicer. Not as much of a slag. Oh, wow. Wow.

Well, I beg to differ. I hope you are.

Well, please keep me anonymous as some details of this may give away who it is about. OK, what do we know of these people?

I don't know what we have when people say that. Right. OK, I, I've just been listening to.

Now can I just say, well, bless you all out. There are a lot of emails started like this that I've read this week. I've been listening to some of the old episodes because I've because they've called up.

That's what loads of people do. Right.

So they've gone back to catch up and then they start listening again, which again, I did that a podcast back in the day. The fact that people are doing that always makes it very happy. So thank you very much, guys, and be some of the podcast.

And one episode sparked a memory that I think had been suppressed by my teenage self. Right. Namely, the episode of the groom breastfeeding from his mom on the day of the wedding, right?

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Back in the day that played true, you know. Yeah, I think that is true because everybody knows about that.

And it's like some of the level of stuff we got. I've told you my my barometer for what I think about now is changed massively because I'm like, look, I've heard multiple different people say similar things. Yeah. Yeah. And I agree. Listen to this, OK?

When I was 18, I had a boyfriend who had a very complicated family. Now I know you'll ask for details, so I shall try and explain before I read this. Can I just say I'm not judging this family set up. Things happen at different times. We're not saying this as we are strange.

But listen to this. All right. Well, I mean, I'll be the one your immediate thing is to think it's we are strange, but yeah, his brother was his dad.

Keep listening. OK, his brother. What happened? Yeah. And he had him at a young age. His grandparents adopted the boyfriend at the time and the father and son were brought up as brothers.

Yep. I'm just listening to the podcast at the moment with a similar situation. Yeah. Yeah. The driver Brocket with is it a true crime podcast.

Yes it is. It's about as nicely with a very large age gap.

Yes. OK, and the grandparents were referred to as mom and dad. Yeah. Huntelaar noxious idea which I think is fair. Not weird, just complicated. I'd agree with that. Just a be complicated.

Not weird. Yeah. No everything whatever.

My boyfriend was very close to his parents and grandparents and he could always confide in them. They were supportive and or very close.

When I used to go around to see him, we'd watch the TV whilst sat on the sofa and his mom in scare quotes would often sit with us last night.

Yeah, yeah.

After a few times of this happening, my eighteen year old boyfriend would often give his mom a cuddle, which to my naive self seemed affectionate until one day I go to the sofa to go for a week. And when I walk back in, there was my boyfriend cuddling up to his mom sucking on her earlobe. Wow. We had her in it. No, it's not I mean, it is, but it's not as it's not as gross is sitting on a boob, you sucking on a yellow.

Cotinine he's got his head like Ronak and he's just sucking at yellow right mouth.

That's horrible. OK, why is he doing this movie 18?

So she's. Yeah, he's 18. So she's what the actual fuck. After witnessing this, they both looked at me like nothing was going on. They proceeded to carry on watching shop together.

Incredible. Will, by the way, what is that you never seen show Sean Bean's finest outing?

I've never seen it. No. Oh, my God.

She's being played by Pete Postlethwaite.

Well, he played like the bad guy that was like and he was always like after him.

I've never seen it made. It's like the material is a bit tense when watching it.

I have never felt the need to be honest with you. And I was doing when I watched it. It's fucking amazing.

I think it's amazing series. Go right on the list. Yeah, it's off years ago. It's like 90s. Spoiler alert. Sure.

Being doesn't you know, it doesn't die after the series in a whole series is the main protagonist rides off into the motherfucking scene, been shopping and they start watching shop together.

And I was prompted to sit back down and not to worry as he always does this great.

Oh hey. Needless to say, I broke up with him, broke up with him and his family after that, his family as well, apparently. I think it left him.

My question to you is, which is worse, the groom caught sucking the breasts on the wedding or my boyfriend sucking his grandmother slash mother's elope.

Love the podcast by the groom forever.

The groom, do you think, for always forever the groom. But this is this isn't for after.

Well, I'm splitting. I'm to. Well, it was his wedding day. Very nervous.

Oh, my God, I'm thirsty. He was so dehydrating. I've been on the pace the night. Hey.

Might be a hangover cure. You never know. Oh no. No.

Can you imagine if because we don't know. We don't know if babies are babies are never hungover.

Right. Right. OK, well you don't drink. What.

OK, so here's here's a scenario for you. Here's a scenario for you. What if the found out science? What if they found out that the only way to sure-fire a one hundred percent cure a hangover, no matter how bad it was, was to drink from your mom's breast?

Would you do it well? Could it not be mine? Because I am a mom. Got to be. Your mom's going to be my mom. Yeah, that's the way it works. Could she express not got a baby lips on.

My mom's got cracked boobs. Oh God no I didn't. I mean, it depends how bad your hangover is.

This is awful.

Two things I want to pick out the one you like. Would you rate your mom like someone? Like what's going on? I'm just going to write this hangover up because my mom's got monkey chips.

Depends how bad the hangover was.

I can safely say I know I'd rather have a day in bed, you know, than there's no chance I would be.

Yeah, well, why don't we test it out? Why don't we obviously do the baby in January, but I can't guarantee I didn't breastfeed, but I did express for a couple of weeks. Right. So why when you go out to wet the baby's head like men do morons, why don't you. That's all that's the most ridiculous thing in the world. And a wet the baby's head.

How about you just be responsible and know and come home and this is responsible. I do. The night feeds arseholes so get hammered.

Pathetic the most we've never talked about when the baby said what a ridiculous, stupid thing to do.

Oh well I will counteract that with baby showers. I have. I had a baby shower. Oh no I have not. The utter bullshit baby shower is another.

I hate baby shower.

You hate, you hate occasion's don't you. You hate birthdays. You hate Halloween. You hate bonfire night.

Well I don't know because I love parties. That's not I don't I like occasions. I think baby showers are a waste of time. Oh yeah. Everybody, hey, let's have a party while I'm open the door for eight months about a drop and the size of a wheel and I kind of have a drink. Nah, I never had one.

I'm not be having one this time. No, no I'm not. No, no way am I having a baby shower.

I go to baby showers because I can have a drink and I think, well it's lovely because I can catch it with all my friends. You know, one of them's always pregnant, which is a bit of a letdown. But that's fine. I have a go, have a nice time, blah, blah. I have to smell the stupid nappies and do the daft, stupid games like we're bloody sick. Sorry, pathetic.

What all the do games wait. Just stupid grown adults doing ridiculous games. You've caught us in a bad mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you, why are you in a bad mood. Your, your general.

Peter after this how could you possibly be in a bad mood.

Actually imagine me baby shower if we did it. Hey.

Oh I tell you what, the people of the year Yirga bombs all over the place and I'll be the bettong. Be on the decks. Is he still a good one to say, I don't know a lot more offensively? I don't know if he's covering anymore. Listen, if you're going to be in a room with all these party, as you call me, you've got to know your right.

OK, well, the only one I know is died.

Well, what about Skrillex? I don't know. Maybe he's a bit heavy, but I want to get everyone who. I don't know. There's a deejay.

Just we don't let you we'll let you know.

I'm going to be like, listen, listen, D.J., kicky when you are when you are my Mila's, make sure she's got a fucking mouth shut.

We got the jam tomorrow.

No calls before mobs you have to find buddy.

Shut your mouth with a kick anyway. Baby showers, tall Sean. Sean shan't be having one.

I will be wetting the baby's.

No, because remember when you went Robin's head. Yeah. And you came in vomited at the side of the bed when I had a newborn baby? No. What happened in Ramsey? No, I know it's not happening. Do you know why the you know, I used to be a thing back in the day. See, this is where this is what annoys us because we don't even move with the times, because back in the day when a lady had a baby in hospital, they would have to stay in hospital for like a week to week.

Sometimes it was just the norm for them to stay in hospital with the baby. OK, but now you can go home the next day and go home a couple of days after if there's nothing going on, you know. So what would happen in those in those that week or whatever?

The husbands, the blokes would go out and wet the baby's head because the the wife or girlfriend, whatever was in hospital with the baby call.

I mean, it's because they're because they're off. Yeah. And they weren't allowed and they weren't allowed in the hospitals. No. They weren't allowed to be there at the birth. But that's all changed now. Yet still, this thing of wetting the baby's head is still a thing. Right? What makes sense?

So you want to stay in for a week at the hospital and team player go out with. Well, now that this is my second child, I'll stay in there for a month if I'm honest. Shit, no. I'll just have Robin and Robin come to the hospital.

It's probably good to bond with the baby from the hospital with just drop me off.

You sleep at the bottom. The bed two weeks in two weeks. I'll do a spot on, I reckon, to to its Portland hospital.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Robin's got to be there as well. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm just I'm just called guarantee private room.

No I'm not. I'm fine.

I'll just pop during the day. The nurse is a part of the day.

Breast milk soap me hung over double Babadook Babadook got one here.

Dear Chris and Rosie, I've been meaning to send you the story for some time and finally find myself with a spare five minutes.

I'm ready. Yeah, I'm a doctor in a sexual health clinic.

Oh. So I have lots of wrong stories. Get it. Please keep me anonymous for the sake of my job. Yes. The story I want to share involves a chap who came to the clinic some years ago, his trial. She said skin problem on penis, fairly normal Stoffels. So I didn't think it was going to be exciting. I did not want a sentence.

That is just how to start your day. Skin, penis, standard skin problem. A penis. Put the popcorn away it goes.

A slightly odd chap comes in the room looking rather uncomfortable.

First things first I ask, what are you here for? He tells me he's had skin peeling off his penis for the last two days and it's very painful.

So all the gentlemen listening that you had to hear that.

Sorry, I didn't put a trigger warning. I'm on. And your tax plan hasn't had sex for several years. So unlikely to be related to that. OK, I start my next line of questioning around skin problems. Any XMA? No. Any new personal hygiene problems. At this point, he begins to look sheepish.

What's he been sitting in? He's taken last year.

He eventually managed to tell me that he had purchased some and the product made me. But I'm not sure what the product is. I'll just see what kind of product it is. I don't want to get in any lawsuits.

Right. He eventually managed to tell me that he had purchased some mouthwash.

However, when he used the mouthwash as intended, it burnt the inside of his mouth. That stuff is vicious. So he stopped using it for his dental hygiene. But being environmentally and money minded, he didn't want to waste it.

Please, please, for the love of God, don't even as cleaned up. And he's not. He decided to use it to wash his penis now.

Oh my God. More than one occasion. Oh my word. His penis was ruined.

The mouthwash had pulled off the top two layers of skin and the entire thing was red and ulcerated. Oh, ulcerated. Oh.

So I'm not often surprised or disgusted due to looking at genitals all day, but it looked horrific. It took two weeks and a lot of treatment to get the poor chap vaguely comfortable and on the way back to penile health. Wow.

Silver lining. Yeah. Would it tasted like a dream.

That's what you want. He wouldn't want do it with it, though, would you? Isn't is anti-Semitism. Don't touch it. I'll cry. Oh yeah, it might be a bit. So I just so I've just realised I didn't see the product name there as if they're going to get in touch and go.

You said on your podcast that our product isn't suitable for one day, so I think you'll find that it is not a case.

Why would you wash that with me?

Why would you put them in your mouth? That hurts a bit. I'll just vomit all of them, you know, I to work with it or something. Wash your hair with so.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh. You said it yourself. You have said it.

And you know what? It's my favorite. Can't believe that. My favorite one. What color it was was exactly which one it was. Yeah. The nicest one. Oh yeah. I had a trump on that door.

That's horrible. Sabado barbecue. Barbecue party.

Yeah. Guess what. What. We have amassed yet another celebrity friend.

It's time for this week's celebrity question.

It is an exciting one this week as well because it kind of involves us also. So a bit of a competition that we are involved with at the moment. And it's for some wonderful, wonderful charities. It's called Be My Guest, and it's being organized by Emma Willis and Giovanna Phleger. You can win if you donate five pound virgin money giving dot com forward slash giving for to be my guest, you can donate five pounds to these fantastic charities you've got in mind Trussell Trust Refuge and NHS charities as well.

So what it is, donate five pound and you can win a zoom chat with some of your favorite celebrities and some of them who are involved as well.

I mean, you are involved what and when a zoom chat with zoom chat with us. Yeah, all we will do is slag of zoom, so that'll be fun. Great. Oh wow.

They've also got phone cotton and Russell Brand. Wow. And McFly are there as well. Get in. Yeah. So donate five pound and you could be in with a chance. What's that website you got. It's Virgin money giving dot com forward slash giving forward slash. Be my guest book.

Oh and if that is hard to find it'll be on Giovanna's instead. I'm going to share it as well, you know, but I'm a realist as well. So here's my question. Amazon.

Hi, Chris, it's Emma. I have a question for you. If you could win a video call with anybody that ever lived or indeed a fictional character from a TV show or movie, who would it be and why? We'll see what you did there. Yeah, and she clever, she's tied it all nicely. Well, she's asked actually what is a very, very good question, but it's also on Brand. Yeah. And it's almost like she's been a top, like, TV presenter for years.

You thank goodness. It's almost like just on the ship. She's great. She's one of the best ones.

And she's awesome. Awesome. OK, so who would you think? I immediately know mine and I think it's a bit weird, but I think you'll be jealous of it. Right. So I'm going to go for fictional character. All right. From TV show. Yeah. I would love a zoom chat with Dwight from the U.S. office. Right, OK. Nice, I would. Yeah, that would be interesting, though, I don't know. No, I don't think not both.

No, I think maybe Dwight and Michael Scott. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So basically yeah.

Them to encourage them. But maybe, just maybe just through. If you never see an American office, guys, if you like the English one.

Oh my God. It takes it to the next level. But I just think it would just be, I mean, you know, he's just stupid little opinions on stuff.

He's like, I don't know, I don't know how to vocalize it without going really, really found guilty about it.

But I think I love Dwight from the office conversation. Absolutely. OK, I think mine or Billy Connolly. Sorry, you can't pick a real person. All right. OK, well, mine would be Julie was amazing.

And and I've said this shows that these people as well, Victoria Wood, but she's not here anymore, unfortunately.

Yeah, but fictional possibly. So, so embarrassing.

You always drooled when he said that I was oh, just just what, Chris, would you would you would you like one with just Chris Hemsworth or would he have to be Thor? We have to be talking about like Asgard and all the all the battles he's won in that. Yeah, OK.

And you'd have to have the full getup telling you like the long hair.

Long, long and the short hair. Hang on. No, I'm trying to think of three choices.

Long hair, Thor, one or two, Thor, Ragnarok and and end game short hair with the side or not.

Not when you wait for a more so that every material that he lost his way very, very, very, very. This wasn't what I was hoping for.

It was shallow and and just the way it was really sad watching it all. I did not enjoy that. Part of that fact, though, would like a video call with someone like you to maybe make yourself feel better and maybe help him with this. Maybe help me because I'm not being funny.

Even with I still would have, like, totally still want to ask your husband.

That is depressing. Yeah. Boba dooby dooby dooby dooby, thank you once again for listening to this week's segment, which is now part of the ACost Create a Network.

Excellent, excellent. Thank you so much, guys. We absolute you please country like me and subscribe to get in touch.

Ashok Monoid at Gmail dot com Rosie and get your bags packed with you.

Bye bye bye. Everyone loves to hate us. Get me the VIP. With me, table bitch, get your dog a passport. Oh, thanks very much, guys. Chris Ramsey, Economy.com slash gigs, Mireia and reschedule dates for twenty twenty one for covid. We'll see you next week. Thank you. Okay. Well, goodbye. Bye. Well, almost two weeks of Christmas to see your nana. It's really. We're going to. Welcome to New London today, hot topic, would you choose to live in a utopia like Brave New World?

First up, freedom or security? Jane says freedom for sure can look after myself. Thanks, Jim. Next, happy and oblivious are unhappy and aware.

Pizza's ignorance is bliss. I take happy any day. Finally, one partner for life or a life of one night stands Treki. Monique says no brainer variety is the spice of life. Fair enough.

Make up your own mind. Watch Brave New World, a Sky Original.

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