#212 - Horses Of A Feather - Dean, TexasSmall Town Murder
- 1,127 views
- 25 Feb 2021
This week, in Dean, Texas, a man who seemingly has it all, ends up having less life than he would have ultimately have liked to have, but who is responsible? The not so happy wife? Her best friend & husband's assistant? The kids? His business partner? Luckily for police, some very fortuitous breaks come their way, and a picture of a cold blooded, planned out, and absolutely diabolical plot emerges. Will anyone pay the price?
Along the way, we find out that dirt can be expensive, that cranberry juice can be dangerous, and that sometimes, not everybody involved gets what they deserve!
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This week in Dean, Texas, a mysterious death causes people to look sideways at just about everybody, including spouse, kids and coworkers. But will investigators ever solve this insane plot?
Welcome to small town murder. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Small Town Murder Day, indeed, Jimmy.
Yeah, indeed, my name is James Petraglia. I'm here with my co-host, Jimmy Wassmann. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us today. Again and again and again. It's been crazy, as always. Hope you enjoyed last week up in Minnesota there this week. We are going to go we're going down to Texas this week. So, you know, it's going to be a good time. Yeah, a really dusty little town in Texas.
Ngati Yeah, we did this for our virtual live show. And if you saw the virtual live show, there is way more information in this version of it as well, because that's The End of Life shows a comedy show how to make it correctly. So, you know, it's pictures and we're going with things like that. So this there's a lot more information and a lot more more craziness, honestly, where you're going to go, what the hell is going on with this story?
But before we get to that very, very quickly, just want to go through and do a little housecleaning. Thank you for your your reviews.
They're called reviews, your reviews, their Apple podcast, the purple icon. That helps a lot. We don't know why, but it does it helps drive us up the charts. So if you haven't done that yet, please do that. Doesn't matter what you say, but five stars are helpful.
Head over to shut up and give me murder. Dotcom right now for everything. Small town murder and crime and sports. All your merchandise is there. And if you're not listening to crime and sports, come on, you're missing out to do so. You really are set to do disclose and listen to crime and sports. It's you do not have to like sports. I really don't. I'm telling you right now you don't have to like sports. So check that out.
Also listen to P.S. I hate this movie.
I have to watch all the Twilight. There's like fourteen of these movies. I watch all of them I hate maybe I don't know a lot. So I'm, I'm lined up for him though. So that's where my current in my current hell. Yeah. So I watch that right there and check all that out. Also Patriot going crazy is always on patriotism. This week we have for you an insane murder in Oregon that you just need to hear about.
It's one of those. Why the bonus episodes? We kind of do weird stuff, but when we do like a little murder case, it's always, you know, it's going to be really crazy. It's got to be real punchy for that for patricide. So crazy case there. And last week, I hope our last patriot was the Old West murders, which were so awesome. So check all that out. Patry on dotcom slash crime and sports.
Anybody over the five dollar level gets access to everything, the whole back catalog of extra stuff, everything like that. And you're a producer, so Jimmy will mispronounce your name. Yeah, horribly at the end of the show while trying his best to get it right.
That's the sad part. So to all that Patriot Ducobu scribe in sports and I'm in a transition period with technology, I'm going to try to figure out this job.
I'll bet you I still mispronounce probably probably how it's written down isn't going to help your reading ability. So I think that's going to help there. And also, if you just want to be a producer, get your name mispronounced and have amazing karma, you can do that as well over PayPal using our email address, crime and sports at Gmail dot com. And quickly, the disclaimer. This is a comedy show. Yes, it is. You know, we're going to talk about murder.
Yes, it would be always it's murders. It's called small town murders.
You can expect somebody to die, obviously, here. But, you know, it's it's you got to think about it this way. It happens every day.
People are murdered, people die. And, you know, people talk about it. You see it on the news and everything like that. We're not taking joy in death. It's a comedy show. But we're not like, oh, my God, dismemberments. Hillarie, that's not what we're talking about here at all.
It's it's so much the idea of, hey, let's kill that guy is a crazy idea. And so this are the stuff around it and the people planning it and people trying to get away with it. That's the insane part. And then there's also awful murder. So, you know, there is all that. Will we go out of our way to try to do and we try our best not to do is we try not to make fun of the victim or the victim's family because we're asking a lot.
But we're not scumbags for is. That's how it works right there. So that sounds good to you. We are going to have a good time. True crime in comedy you don't think should ever go together at all. And you just it's just a thing we're all up. Maybe you won't like the show, so don't complain later.
You've been warned, but I think you should give it a shot because it's probably not what you think. So know, that sounds good to everybody. I think you should sit, sit back, relax, clear the lungs and shout, shut up and give me murder. Let's do this. All right. Let's go on a trip. I can't wait all the way down. We're one of these days. It's just going straight down. OK, straight down from Minnesota, right all the way the hell down to the desert here in Texas, dusty, dusty, Texas.
We're going to Dean, Texas. Never heard of Dean, Texas.
I know a guy named Dean. Yeah, exactly. Is he from Dean, Texas? I don't know. No, he's not. No one's ever heard of Dean Texas because it is the middle of. That's basically what it is, no one's from there, it's it's just a it's an awful place. It's it's it's in north central Texas. Awful. I'm sure if you're from there, you love it. But it's I don't know what you love.
I mean, there's a lot of dirt. You must love the dirt, I guess. Wide open space. That's what it is. The wide open spaces, north 66, north central Texas here. It's right up by the Oklahoma border. So it's it's Oklahoma as well. He got there. So it's about two hours. It's weird. It's two hours and twelve minutes to Dallas. Yeah. And two hours and twelve minutes to Oklahoma City.
And did they do that on purpose? So I don't understand all this shit. After Google, we need to put this dead center between Oklahoma City. They're gonna need gas market hungry and we're going to be the place to go stop and get that gas, understand? Now let's do it. All right. All three. Right. Build a gas station. I want one of them loves. Yeah, well, yeah. Like the one I'm prepackage sandwiches and shit, you know, put it up there.
Oh, trucker showers, which is all over the trucks. That's what we gonna do. Now let's set it all up. That's what I feel like. I pre packaged sandwiches are horrible. Nobody you don't know when they were made and the bread is always wet. Well yeah, because it's in a package so we'll take a sandwich and put it in an airtight container.
And what do you know what it's moisture is going to go into the thing, especially the like. Here, have some tuna salad. You're like, no, no, no, no, we don't know when that white stuff with eggs in it. There's also like some sort of miracle whip on the ground and the exposed part.
It's the air, isn't it? It's not. The turkey always has like a silver look to it. Like if you holding the light, it looks kind of like a pearl. It's like a trout belly basically. Yeah. You get that trout belly lunchmeat belly sandwich kind of tastes like, you know, and you're doing well and you got a trout belly trout belly lunchmeat.
Gross. I got that shimmers. It shimmers on in the light. When you put it up it just gives it a shimmer.
It's worth it for what it looks like a pearl. Yeah. This place also about five and a half hours to Humboldt, Texas, which is our last Texas episode was a while ago. And we've been we haven't been to Texas. Yeah, it was episode one. Sixty three teenage killer lesbian vampires from space, if you remember, which is absolutely insane. Episode This is in Clay County, which is it's rural man two point four square miles.
And this town is just a little triangle.
If you remember from the virtual live show I showed you, it's a little triangle.
And on the Google map, the only things that pop up are a church and some like municipal building. And that's a suddes. Yes. That's something else you'd like. I don't know what that mean, but it's there's not a lot going on here now. Historically, there wasn't much going on for a long time here. No, not really. No, it's Clay County has been the site. Humans have been here. But it's not it's never that's the thing.
It's weird because some places no one was ever there or people were there, but it wasn't like a very capitated area. And now there's a shitload of people there, whereas a place like this always had people just and they then population never grew. It just stayed small. There was like pretty much the same amount of people, you know, twenty five hundred years ago.
And there is now it's a small white Indian village. It's pretty well. Yeah, it's very strange.
This there was archaic age hunter gatherers here back in the day. That was the first people here. And then Indians migrated here, the Ouachita and the Tail via Indians. Yeah. Migrated to this area. Know them, Jimmy? Yeah. Obviously it's a familiar, very familiar. They migrated there from Kansas and Nebraska, beginning about the seventeen hundreds.
They started hanging out down there and then the earliest Europeans to come here were Spanish explorers and they said yeah, they had a bunch of expeditions crossing the county and all this sort of shit. Diego Ortiz Paria was the was the guy traveled on his way to attack the Indians, as a matter of fact, at the site of the Spanish fort in Montague County.
At this point, I he had traveled that whole state to attack him and to go attack the exhaust soil.
They had horses. That was a big, big deal. I don't know how he how he could attack. Kill demonstrated a man who knows.
I don't think I don't think resources were worth as much the problem. That's a long commute to work. It is to go all the way across. Yeah. We drove across Texas in a Honda Civic. It was it was a problem. So to do it on a horse would be really a tiny car.
But that's bigger than a horse. It will also it's less taxing on the tank. Yes. A little more suspense. Yeah, a little less bouncin when we got there. Yes, it was a long drive, but our buttholes were not sore.
You know, my legs and back are like, oh, Jesus Christ, my man, my butthole.
Oh yeah, boy.
So I the I've been seventeen in the 70s, 80s, Pedro Veel and Josimar as a travel were through this area while exploring routes from. San Antonio to Santa Fe, let's see how we can get from San Antonio to Santa Fe. It's a long trek for nothing. I was going to say it's pretty much the same end at your starting point. Santa Fe has got some nicer views.
Probably out you go. I mean, it's I don't know if you like a sunset and I don't fucking know. Mexico could be new taxes. It doesn't matter all the same. Yeah, I know. That's it's Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico all the same. It is as we drove it, it's in Arizona. Unless you get northern Arizona. Right. And then it's like, oh, there's rent and some big trees, but all the desert stuff, it's all the same.
The same drive feels like home to San Diego.
So there was horses here. Obviously, the Spanish explorers brought in the horses and they turned into buffalo hunters. And at the time, so they had these huge, giant things that don't move very fast.
And that's why they became pretty much extinct, was because they're just so easy to hunt. We just stand there and you kill them and used to do it from trains.
Disgustingly white people would do it to eradicate the food source of natives.
That's fucked up, but they would do the reason why. That wasn't why they were extinct, though that was the reason why they were extinct is because tourists would come from the east to shoot Buffalo. So they would come and literally pull up a train full of people who would just slow them down and go down a field full of Buffalo out of the side of the train, and then go on the merry way.
Yeah, and just leave them there sometimes. Are they get them for, you know, get one for the meat or however they would do it. But that was like, oh, look at you. You kill the buffalo aren't you? Aren't you a pioneer?
That's why Buffalo Bill Cody was cause he would just mow them down and leave them with what's more so with the establishment of a fort here in the Indian territory after the Civil War, settlers started to come back because there was a fort. So they didn't have to fight every day. So they came back. And the first residents, one of the first ones was a guy named Henry a WELI. He raised grain and vegetables. So that's exciting. A hell of a life.
Take that. Oh, boy. I saw the picture of him and his family.
So it looked like it all looked like it was a big post Posthumus picture. It looked like everybody was dead. Oh my God. They all look like corpses. These are the level of like hard life. It was to be a grain farmer in northern Texas. Some eighteen hundreds had to be remarkable the way these people look to win war. Yeah, they look like if you left a car outside for like twelve years and didn't do anything even when worn and waterlogged.
Wow. What happened just looked like shit. Absolutely.
They used to do that way with corpses though. Stand them up. Yeah. Taking pictures, they take pictures, they take the best stillborn babies. They do a whole thing. That's unbelievable. It's really weird.
So it turned into cotton by the twentieth century here. Turned into cotton that day they went from seven. There are about 6000 acres of cotton in 1890 to seventy one thousand in 1910. So a lot of cotton. And then the depression came and the price of all that shit dropped and all of these people had mortgaged their futures.
Oh, no, because in the twenties, cotton, wheat, all these prices were high. So these farmers were buying more land to plant shit, to sell shit so they would borrow from the bank to do that, expecting these giant yields. And then when the price went in the shitter, they all owed the bank four acres and acres at their original property was mortgaged on. And that's why people lost their farms. That's all. That's how that happened.
So, yeah, it was it was kind of ugly. So I found a review of this town, which I was surprised at. Usually, if it's like under a thousand people, it's hard to find reviews. I guess people don't go there that often. So they found more ones here on this one? Well, I mean, not really. It's just kind of somebody likes it. Four stars. It's says rural area farming and ranching community close enough to the city to go shopping in college and still come home at night to get away from the city lights to see the stars and moon.
OK, so when they say city, they mean Wichita Falls.
By the way, I'm not shitting you. Wichita Falls is like right there. Yeah, that's the city that they're referring to. So I don't you know, you could probably see the moon, OK. And Wichita Falls. I saw the map of the place. It's not very big. It's like one hundred thousand people in the entire metropolitan area. So I know that's a few more keystrokes, but call it what it is. And it's town square.
It's that I mean, it's you're there. So people in this town, speaking of the population, is as four hundred and eighty nine, which is quite nothing, quite small. It's a tiny town. It's up seventy six percent though since nineteen ninety. So people, people have moved here from the city I guess from all Wichita Falls, more males and females here. I don't know if this because there's a lot of ranching here, so it's a lot of oil and ranching.
So maybe you're going to get the you know the ranchers are more likely to be male. Tough gig, Utah. It's a tough gig. Well, I mean, yeah, but they're just it's one of those things. I don't I don't know what the hiring policies are of ranches, but I don't know if they're like now we believe in gender equality above all.
Above all, really, our bathrooms are unisex, as you can see. I just don't know if that's the case or if it's like you hire a bunch of dudes to sleep in a fucking thing together that's probably sleeping on.
Barn together. If if we put a woman out there, they're gonna rape or just it's going to happen, is going to happen. I don't want to be responsible for a farmhands attacking one poor woman. So, yeah, maybe that's what happened. Median age here is up. It's about 44, which is about eight years, seven, eight years over the normal. But what we see married population way higher than normal. It's like sixty six percent married.
It's a lot of these rural areas. You're going to get that with the know. Not a lot of single people moving out there to groove and find people. Single people with no children is pretty low here. So why have the race of this town though is about what you'd expect here? Ninety two percent white, so, you know, zero point zero percent black. I have found no evidence of sundown town this year is a lot of Texas towns.
I'm not saying it's not possible, but I haven't felt they didn't put it on the same. Some of the you know, some of these towns put it on the side and literally out now. Yeah, this I don't know if this was just unspoken or maybe not. Maybe it's just black people don't want to live here.
I'm sure it's just Texas. You know the rules. Yeah, it's kind of. Yeah. Y'all stick to the city. Yeah. Because of the rules maybe. I'm not sure. I don't. And like we said, we don't live in Texas, so we don't know. All we do know about Texas is that when you drive through it, we have to subsidize your roads and schools by getting bullshit speeding tickets for twenty miles over what we're actually doing.
All we doing for the asphalt capital bought for you wherever it went. That's all we know about taxes. So that's why we have a hint of bitter. All the other places. We're just joking. We don't know Texas. We're bitter because it cost us money and it was bullshit. We know it's bullshit. It's the only place that I've had police interaction. Yeah, that's that's it. And especially that it was like very negative to where it was just like, no, we definitely were on cruise control at seventy seven.
Nope. Ninety three right near the ticket. What are you talking about.
The fucking cruise control was on. If this passenger didn't have weed sir, I'd have a word with you about.
So I was like all well let's go along with it. And then we felt like we won no handcuffs. I got a shitload of weed on me so fuck him. So enjoy your two hundred and seventy eight dollars scoreboard, asshole. Nice, nice instincts.
Kind of impressed your fucking superiors, but no, no, you were he took the easy way out.
You went with the Pennsylvania license plate bullshit you did in a rental car. So one point six percent Asian it is here and two point nine percent Hispanic, which seems very low for anywhere with Texas in the title. Sure, I feel like. So that's in Mexico. So close. Well, yeah, it's like Arizona. And that way where if you see a town in Arizona, you heard two percent Hispanic, you've got. What are you talking about?
Yeah, it would be very hard to fathom that maybe up north, possibly in the amount even there, though, it's not so heavy still. So it's very strange. It seems on purpose, but, you know, I don't know, put it that way. 57 almost 58 percent of religious and Baptist is the.
Wow. I'll tell you what. Thirty seven and a half percent of the people are Baptist.
Baptists are the Catholics of the Bible Belt Plains region. I don't know. Wow. Not a lot of the low one point six percent Catholic, which I feel like that's the Hispanic people. And they get sneered at probably. I don't know about that church. You know, the one the one thing that I don't come up on the Google map, put it that way, Etan. Jesus. I think I heard all sorts.
They get drunk and they're drinking the blood. I don't know what the hell's wrong with these people. So otherwise, though, it's pretty zero point zero percent Jewish. It's it's you know, it's Texas. It's a tiny town in Texas here. Now, unemployment rate here is about average for now. And see when those numbers shake out.
Median household income, though, is high.
Actually, there's a lot the jobs are it's weird because everybody either makes like one hundred and fifty grand a year or thirty grand a year. That's kind of how this works here. It's not a lot of not a lot of people making in between. So it's a lot of construction and oil and gas jobs around here seem to be the dominant job force. But median household income, sixty two thousand eight hundred thirteen dollars, which is five thousand over the average here, not bad.
No cost of living was one hundred, which that's like, you know, being average here.
It's eighty one. OK, so not too bad. Housing is low though. Housing is a forty eight. Yeah. So pretty goddamn low. Median home cost one hundred twelve thousand three hundred bucks and kept secret in Texas. Yeah. Well it's out there.
Nobody maybe that's I'm not sure you can make one hundred fifty grand and buy a house on a scale of one hundred. Well yeah that's credible but a lot of the houses though like come with a shitload of land so they're expensive.
Like if you buy a house it's hard to find those houses. Eighty one percent of the houses here are worth two hundred thousand or less. Incredible. So it's yeah. It's pretty sparse here. The rental market zeroth that I found the thing it's a zero point zero percent of houses and apartments are available to rent the goddamn one. Don't don't bother with that.
But if we've convinced you. Damn.
That this is the place for you, you need to get away from the big city of Wichita Falls and see the stars and the moon, and we have for you the Dean Texas real estate report, your average two bedroom rental, which is not available at all.
Right. I have. But when one opens up, that's going to be about seven hundred thirty eight dollars, which is about 500 under the national average. So when you get on that waiting list for the two apartments, I found the first house here. It's a three bedroom, two bath, fourteen hundred eighty five square feet. It's pretty scary. On the inside, the carpets look like a murder scene was cleaned up and looked like it. Possibly our episode could have taken place there.
Yeah, not terrific. Fourteen hundred eighty five square feet. And the listing says lots of potential in this three bedroom, which means you rip it to the drywall, everybody to the studs, motherfucker.
To the studs. Fifty nine thousand nine hundred bucks. Now you're going to see nail heads. Yeah. Not that bad though for the price.
I guess if you want to strip a house down to nothing, house number two is just land. It is 91 acres of land. Oh, mine. Yeah, no, it says no fences. Buildings are improvement, but it's class to Magnum's silty clay loam soil to class to Magnum. When I hear silty, I think robust vegetation, you know, man, it could be maybe usually plays tough for roots to settle. It seems like it's silt.
Doesn't sound good for that either.
It's either too hard or too soft, either one that sounds Sandy, but they want like two million dollars for this stuff. Holy shit. Ninety one acres. I don't know, for a succession plan.
That's what that is your own right. Your own little little country house.
The house number three is three bedroom, two bath, seventeen hundred and fifty four square feet. And it is Texas, Texas, Texas by the whole house is just cow skins and horns. And I'm telling you like the chandelier is antlers. Oh by it's no shit. Texas Roadhouse sign stars. Yeah. It's why Texaco Station.
It's, it looks like if they did a reality show that was like we're going to do Texas and like make and then that's the house everyone has to live in. That's what it looks like. That's the way they decorate it up like that. Yeah. It's fucking silly. Yeah. It's seventeen hundred and fifty four square feet. Four point to eight acres though. That's great. That's not bad.
Seven hundred fifty thousand for that because for four acres or acres and all taxes and.
Yeah well it's got a bunch of like barns and a metal barn and ok it's got all sorts of stuff. Yeah. It's got all. If you were like doing outdoor shit you can barn four acres though. You can. It's good for buildings fucking everywhere. Absolutely. Things to do. The Clay County Pioneer Reunion. Oh yeah. Oh boy. Are unite. The people that are dead are pioneers.
They describe how this happens. You pretty much do exhume the corpses here. It says quote, Howdy pioneers and visitors. Well, howdy, howdy, howdy. And a hearty gearheart all you as well. I like how you flipped around y'all. How are you? Oh yeah. Well, that's, that's that's Italian. Yeah. You just civilized y'all. Well that's the thing. The South it's y'all and in New York it's all use all year.
It's different for different. It's the same. All different.
All you, all of you is one word and you all it's it's all you all use. If it's Malleus. Yeah. One Farzaneh talking about them in their group it's all of you.
But then if there's ten people it's all you got to put a spell or stop your fingers and blanket on what you've got is all yours.
Oh here's a bunch. The bums. Yeah. See same thing. Just depends where you're from. It's all the same. We're gearing up here in Clay County for our annual pioneer reunion. Yeah. Rodeos and parades if you like. Barbecue, country music, bull riding, good ole ole ole not ole ole. But the apostrophe is on the wrong side.
It's on the front. It's on the front. So that's fun. Family fun. Yeah. You'll definitely want to mark down the third weekend in September on your vacation calendar. So there you go. If you like.
I like barbecue and then kind of gets like all the family fun a little less actually. Like there's never any fun when the families around. No, that's just that's bonding time.
That's just we're we're doing shit so the kids have fun, don't complain. And then, you know, later on we get to go. I'm going to put them to bed.
And this fight was brutal. The Texas Dog Festival. Yeah.
Oh, baby. There will be real dogs and hot dogs. It says Karradah. Bring out your dogs. They'll have so much fun meeting and making new furry and non furry friends.
It sounds like there will be sex or just creepy. I want to go to that. Yeah.
Bring a blanket a. Says and I meet some fellow dog lovers, OK, I just want to compliment everybody's dog, like you're going to have a wagon, good time, says I'm here buying a bitch and bagel.
That's that's a pretty one. That's an awesome Afghan. And it says you don't have to have a dog. Dog's not required, which is hilarious because if it was like a child's pageant, you wouldn't be like kids not required. I'm here to look at the kids. Just some guy showing up. No, sorry.
That's why I love dogs. I don't have to have one to tell you that your Yorkie is banned. No, nobody thinks you want to fuck it, though, you know what I mean? Whereas if you said, hey, good kid there, they'd be like he's going to try to. Right. It's a different thing completely because most people probably are. That's the gross part.
So he can't walk by and be like, that is a beautiful little boy. Doesn't work. Fuck you said that the legends of Western Swing Music Festival. Oh, baby, this sounds really boring. It's they just it's like a bunch of really old people. Yeah. The pictures of it are like a dance floor with like a dozen pretty elderly couples.
Slow dancing. Well, like other elderly people play music and it doesn't look like a lot of fun. But I mean, maybe it's because you're looking at your thing. So either way, crime rate, what we're interested in here in this whole thing, crime rate, property crime is actually a little under the national average, about one third under. I think it'd be less than that. There's nobody here should be zero. And it's all the pictures of this place there.
It's just it's you could see from one side of the town to the other because it's just flat dirt. So who's committing crimes? Everyone can see if anything happens.
You guys that Eddie, Rob and Bill again. Gosh, I seen him. He's a half mile away, but I could see it from where he's running the clearest day you never out of sight. He wears that same damn hat. Every goddamn time I see him, I know it's him. I see it from here.
So that is the thing about country western gear. Yeah. You always look like the same dude. You ain't getting away with shit. They're all trying to be a silhouette, human silhouette. That's what it is. And if they could, they would just stand against the wall with one foot up.
Yeah, yeah. And that would be at all times. But they're like, I can't get places like that. Unfortunately it's hard to my car. I can't find a stand up car. Right. Then on top of that, you know, when I want to walk, it doesn't work much either. But my foot falls asleep every damn time I've any. And all this Varvakis not bad circulation, you know, works. So violent crime here, murder, rape, robbery and assault.
The Mount Rushmore of crime is about half the national average. There is a safe little town. Absolutely. That said, we need to talk about a murder that happened that was not so safe.
Now let's talk about it. Let's talk about a guy first.
Let's talk about a man here, a guy named Jerry. Yeah. Let's talk about Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Eli Stern, Adele. Yeah. By the way, the funny part is we did this for our virtual live shot here.
So I hope the people who we did this with the intent of because I went through and I added a bunch, there's a bunch more details, reworked it and, you know, did the added a bunch of shit to it. So our intent was we want the people who saw the virtual live show to now get like a totally different spin on it. Yeah.
And the fun part is, Jimmy, if you saw the virtual live show, had a lineup of Dixie cups full of whiskey and. Yeah, that's all you have in the fucking house. Four shot glass. I got to use the kid's mouthwash.
And not only that, that was like around three.
So I don't think Jimmy is probably too. And I'm not up on this story. My memory fades. Yeah. Shot four or five. It was a month ago, but you probably remember it better than he does. And so it'll be all new to him. And on top of that, there's a bunch of new info.
So we're just make Metallica blackened whiskey delicious. Oh, absolutely. Shit.
So I don't know who's making it. It's one of those fuckers, but they did a great job.
James Hadfield's in rehab constellation was probably probably him, I assume would be Lars. He's the one who would be like maybe I don't know if he drinks even James, he gets James would know which one to make, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know.
I feel like he's he's just like, what are you got there? Absolut Vodka. Sure. Pour some shit together and get them fucked up.
Put it in a bottle. But it would seem that and just a drop of a drop of forty eight in there also. I like that. Also in there if you could put Pennzoil tastes like you could mix those up together. All you got to do. That's fine. I guess I prefer, I prefer Pennzoil. But if you're going to get crazy it's called blackened. Use the. Yeah yeah. I mean the Quaker State is that's the top.
Run it through a diesel and then put it in.
That's what I'm looking for. So Jerry, Jerry, Eli Stern, middle name. He is born February the 18th. Nineteen forty one. So at this point he would be an older gen. But he didn't make it that far. That's talk. I mean, he didn't make it to 80. So it's Texas. Yeah.
Who lives that long in Texas? I mean, yeah, he's got a lot of beef. Yeah.
But a brisket, which I don't blame me because it's delicious. You ever had breakfast jerky? It's fantastic. That's the thing. Yeah. Texas is good for. They do have some good food there because they like meat. I like of. Yeah. Incredibly I like beef.
So I'm, I'm all about beef Texas and this shit is good. Yeah. I got to give them credit for that. They, they do know what they're doing. They grow a cow. Right. Oklahoma, Kansas City to a really good beef and about a whole area had good beef. Omaha had great steak. Omaha had the worst of I've ever had. I had the worst day of my life.
And I was fucking was probably horrible. Steak was terrible.
I was so I was like, OK, so the one thing that you have, this entire goddamn city that you guys are so happy to say, I look at what we're good at.
You're not good at it. Thanks. Thanks. Omaha pieces of shit. Let's have another driver tell me I was in fucking Buffalo air strikes me like a fucking steak. I loved no hotel room. The place is a goddamn nightmare. The crowd is one of the best crowds we've ever performed. But nobody who's from there, they're all like. I drove in from here, drove from Iowa. I drove from over there. No one's from there. I'm I'm convinced nobody lives there except Uber drivers Warren Buffet and Liz Vázquez, who's amazing and wonderful.
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Now back to the show. Jerry here, he's born in Wichita County, Texas, this is his area. He kind of grows up here his whole life and he's a he's a Texas guy. Weird part is he looks like a kid from Brooklyn. It's a very when you see his like his pictures, I look at him and I'm like, he looks like a fucking everybody. You grew up what he looks like just to some Italian guy from the 50s, like he just he's doing he should be singing around a burning barrel or something.
I'm like in a doo wop group.
I was going on in their yards. I that's what it's all use and it's all yours. All is all he is is a big one. It's the same person. No same person. Yeah. His mom's name is martialing martialing Meixell. Wilbanks Leane has thrown on the end of every day like it's like well down there. Yeah. Have like the Lean's will be Charline. Right. Marceline and DeBelin Abilene mandoline.
You know they all got everything. That's right. I'm so happy I got married to my beautiful wife.
Saralyn is just wonderful. Madelene sightly martialing.
So Eli is his dad. So that's that's he's Eli is a farmer and Marshall is a housewife. So Jared grows up on a farm with a farmer dad and a housewife mom and in the forties and fifties in Texas. And when you see him too, he's like a freckly kid and he's like he's in every picture him. He's in sports and some kind of sport he's playing. He's very good at ping pong, apparently. Yes. He wins like ping pong tournaments.
I see him with ping pong trophies. There's only three of those people in the world.
That's that's why. Yeah. I mean, I don't know who is facing off against, but I don't know what the competition was like. He was at the top of it. He's also a high school basketball player and pretty good at that. Just all the pretty much all the sports he's excels in as a child. He enrolls in Wichita Falls and the university there. And he's very ambitious. He's one of these guys that doesn't mind doesn't mind going to school in the day and then work until midnight and getting up and go.
He's one of those guys hard work and some bitch has a lot of goals, Jerry. Just a lot of goals. And yet I'm sitting on the couch. No, and he wants to be he wants to be wealthy.
That's his goal here. He wants to build something. So he he attended also Midwestern University, which I've never heard of while working part time at the local dairy. Isn't that online? I did not then probably.
Obviously probably not in nineteen sixty two I would assume. But you know, maybe now that's possible. Is it like University of Phenix adjunct. I think yeah I think it is the University of Southern New Hampshire or whatever.
What's the one with all the cameras at Southern New Hampshire. Why do they pick that as a thing. Oh well when I think of southern New Hampshire now, I'm now I'm thinking of education.
Know Southern New Hampshire has an actual campus, too, does it? It does. Well, because, I mean, I know where it is. I've seen it, but I'm on the commercials.
They make it sound like it's just a mainframe room you can attend in Oregon with one guy. Well, it is it's a it's a they're not telling you to fly there. I'm not saying everyone's going to spawn to southern Oregon.
They've just got the campus and like you virtually live in a dorm. I feel like that's what it is. You live there. Does isn't this nice? You set it all up like. Yeah. What the hell is that game? My daughter used to play Sims. No, no. There's this other game where you said everything I built on Club Penguin. Oh, you built this. It builds your own club, Penguin Room, basically in New Hampshire.
And you stay wherever you lay there. It's like I just got new stuff for my dorm while here in Oregon. It's all very new.
It's always new. So, yeah, he he would work for the dairy and loaded crates of milk on to delivery trucks. That's his job, right? Yeah. Back then, crates and sealant heavy. Yeah. Well I not the milk itself I assume. I think this is a vat of milk, just a crate full. I icing it up and it's just coming loose milk for however much is left on his shoes at the end I assume it's in containers in a crate.
So he meets a girl named Jeanie around this time now jenie. A lot of the stuff from this episode comes from Jeanie's book. And so I have to credit GenY for this. Jeanie wrote a book about this whole thing.
So everything a lot of this stuff is through the lens of the genie, you know, his wife at this point and you'll find out how that works out. And it's a very odd story. So let's do this here. They get married in the summer of 1963. Yeah. Which is just a fuck, man.
Think about that. That's just a whole. Wow, that's such a different time. It is the summer of sixty three. This is like Kennedy hadn't even been shot yet. Oh that's right. Think about that. This is still like everybody's happy time. My mom's three weeks. Yeah. It's like yeah it's I mean our parents are very little. This is I mean still the constant threat of nuclear, not every violation from Russia and all that sort of shit.
But people got used to that. Yeah.
That was like covid like they were like, yeah, I get it, you know, I am going to die.
You built a bunker, you put a mask on, it's the same shit hole that I'm going to get worn, I built a bunker. It's fine, I got it. If the bomb comes, I'll go sit down there. It's all right. That's the people I know. I put the mask on and I go out and then I stay away from everybody and then whatever, because I'm tired. And that's what the people there were saying the same shit.
So by this time, I mean, that's a different time. And you're going around carefree kind of at that time. So then she becomes pregnant. Jeannie, does Jerry quit college because he needs to get a full time job because his wife is pregnant here and he gets a job working for a company, delivering linens and uniforms to businesses. So that's like you got a set of burlap coveralls that you work down at the garage and they go, there you go.
I'm in a big white bag with everybody else's shit. Oh, everyone else is. You don't even know which one is yours. It's just you had a large medium, this one says Ray on the patch. They all say real same race.
People are more comfortable handing their keys to a guy named Ray. For some reason, we've done his market survey as market research. We did a focus group and Ray is the most trustworthy name to give you a car. So it was weird. Now it's strange because it's different if you're going to let them, like, fix up in your house. Right. You know what I mean? Then they're looking for more of a Steve, right. More of like that kind of a thing, but more welcoming name.
It's a Steve. It's it feels more like homey, you know what I mean? It's like they know his real name, Steven. It's real familiar. Yeah, right. They just don't want shit to do. Now they throw you the keys until you enjoy his face. I don't know what the hell he dumb shit. Just get under that making in a noisy around under that hood now. So he gets a promotion because he's a really hard worker.
He gets a promotion within a couple of months and he becomes a manager here and didn't have to drive the delivery truck anymore. Saint Jerry, everything he does, he kind of moves up a little bit. Jerry then gets a job working full time for a plumbing for a plumbing company as a plumber. So he gets his master plumbers license. And, you know, he's trying to this is a good trade plumbing. You make a lot of money, Tom.
Work. That's tough work. I mean, you can what? He can do it. No, definitely not. But it's one of those jobs where if you don't have a college education and you can do that, you can make good money with the same amount of money, that more money than somebody who went to college. And, you know, because it's a skill I don't know how to work with fucking pipes.
It's you got to measure you guys do that. It's a lot harder. It's hard.
You got to know how to do this is like it's a definitely a skill that you need to learn. So they started what they did was this was a bigger company and they would any kind of smaller jobs they wouldn't accept. It was just like a little residential job or even smaller commercial jobs. They hundred dollars wouldn't have time for that. Yeah, they were more about working on big commercial jobs. So what they would do and like, you know, new housing developments and shit like that.
So any of the small jobs that they would turn down, Jerry would pick them up at night. We go, I'll take care of it. I can do it for you, for, you know, cheaper blah, blah, blah.
So jobs out, up, the up. He had the he had his license. He had a pickup truck. He had some tools. And he was trying to piece meal together these outside jobs to build a little extra cash for his family that was growing.
He started Jerry Stern, Adel Plumbing, which I guess that sounds like a plumber name.
You you're looking for a Jerry at home. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm look, you know what? I like this. If I if my plumbing's fucked up, I want Jerry working on it. Sure. Ray on my car and Jerry on the on the bottom on the plumber. So now Jeannie jumped right in to the wife. She's doing like all the estimates and the appointments and all that sort of shit. So they were, you know, that she'd do the bids also like so she's doing all the business and he's going out and fixing pipes.
That's the way they they do it. They build a nice little family here. A couple of kids, daughter named Becky, son named Sandy. So, you know, they're doing well. Can't beat it. They have. I wonder if he named him after Sandy Koufax. Probably that was the time when that was the middle six. Tend to be probably because I didn't know back then of many other men named Sandy.
The only man that I've ever heard of named Sandy is other than Kofax is Waxler, which isn't even a real character.
Yeah, there you go. In a friend. So, yeah, I feel like a lot of people probably name their kids after Sandy Koufax back. That's probably a bad mother fucker. So anyway, at the end here, there's not enough. They don't have enough money to get a plumber's helper because they're trying to get these jobs. They have to bid low and so they're bidding low to get jobs and so they can't afford to hire a plumber helper.
So Jerry just teaches Jeanie how to be his apprentice. So it's kind of a husband and wife plumbing team at this point. I mean, the torch, I mean, hey, how they're doing it. So they ended up building this business. They started securing some commercial jobs and doing all this type of shit. And after a while, he talks. She talks, Jerry, into quitting his day job, making the company. That's a thing. It's a risk.
You know, it's you know, it's that they're kind of they got to the point where they felt like they were losing more money by him working them than gaining.
So they had this. Know you got to believe in yourself. Dump it in your damn business, and that's what they did. So the profits went to get additional tools and supplies and, you know, trucks and they hired people. And there they really tried to build the company and do something good. Right. And they only tell you about all this to because he builds quite the empire. Yeah. And he becomes a millionaire climbing king plumbing king, big guy, big ranch and race horses and you name it, he becomes Wheeler and dealer Mr Plumbing Guy.
So that's how it started though, from very humble beginnings of just, you know, piecing this together, him and his wife. And sounds like a wonderful story at this point. Everyone's going, where's the murder, who going to die, who's the how is anybody get that? Hear this sounds this sounds wonderful.
Why don't they just retire and die peacefully to answer like the rest of us?
They sound happy. We never get happy people.
Turns out, though, they're not so happy now after all. No. There's quite a few instances here in Jeannie's book where she details the details of abuse by him. And it's it's very strange because it comes seemingly out of nowhere. And is I really aggressive?
It's a really aggressive abuse that seems to come out of nowhere. And it's every kind of abuse like it just comes from out of nowhere. Like one particular event that I'll get into. I won't get into the details of it because it's not about the murder. And, you know, if I don't have to talk about sexual assault in detail, I'd rather be nice.
So, you know, one of those things, but apparently he he had raped his wife at one point, which is terrible. Obviously, that's possible. He did this. Yeah. She said she didn't want to do it, so. Yeah, well, he did it. He tied her up and her name is James. There's an awful thing. And the point was the whole point was to get her. He wanted to get her pregnant again.
And there she's very religious genie from what I understand in her book, every chapter starts with a psalm and like there's a lot of like and then we prayed and then we had to pray about it. And so, I mean, when I read, that's exactly that's who she's looking for. So she's very much into that.
I often say that when people talk about religion, I just roll my eyes and go, Jesus. Yeah. And I don't know if it's insulting to them or if they think I'm like on board.
I assume it's it's certainly they come on board because, like I said, go, oh, he's into it. It's kind of like, do you want to talk more about him. OK, let's open for air we go.
So apparently she they their birth control method was it don't don't fuck on these days. That's their birth control method of you know, these are the bad days because I could get pregnant.
So she put X's on her calendar on the bad days of not the non most popular for for the most ovulation happening possible in our mind. So Jerry went and saw when these days were and that's when he chose to do this. And then afterwards. Yeah. And then afterwards he told her that's why he did it.
Oh God. So it was really ugly. Really, really ugly. You don't fuck my calendar. Yeah.
You take that off. Lord, what do you think of that. Yeah. It's awful. It's disgusting. Yeah. He's not great. He leaves her tied up also for, you know, a whole afternoon and it's just a it's an ugly scene, really ugly scene here. Not, not a pleasant chapter to read about, but you know, apparently it happened. So unsurprisingly, not surprisingly, in nineteen seventy two they get a divorce which I mean.
Holy shit. Good. I'm happy that she got away from that because clearly that's not a good situation for someone to be in. So she decides, Jeanie, that she does not want any of the shit. She doesn't want half the business, she doesn't want him because he, she could have pushed it. They probably would have to sell the ranch and and liquidate it and split it and all that.
She said, no, no, this has been your dream. You've wanted to be a plumber. Now this is your ranch. I'm not going to take it. All I want is my personal property. And that's it.
That's it. Also, Texas is very on the side of the father I was going to say, and marriage in nineteen seventy two, especially, probably even more so. I don't know if they were like, I mean, yeah, we want to believe you, but you got what we call a dishonest vagina. Right. That's down here in Texas. That's something we call now. Just means you have a vagina. Right, that we do consider that a sign of dishonesty.
We realize that dishonest vagina is a bit redundant, but we really need to get it, get it home to you in the head to see them.
Vagina Monologues, I don't believe a word that they're saying is what I'm getting.
That's all lies. They're untrustworthy and liars. So that's what I mean. Now, she ends up with her property, which included a nineteen sixty nine Ford lead. Yep. That Jerry will put sugar in the gas tank and try to destroy it here. Coming up in a minute.
It was going to break down anyway, Jerry. Yeah. Is it a little wine. Yeah, it's. Sixty nine, Ford halted its fine, Jerry gets everything else, Jerry has to pay one hundred dollars a month for each child in child support. That's up to two hundred bucks a month. Who gets to keep the ranch? The business? She gets a car that they tried to put sugar in the gas tank in 69 and 72, 72.
So he basically the gas tank things. She went to go get gas, drove from her house somewhere to get gas. And the guy went to put the gas and full service back then and got stopped when she got sugar all over your gas thing here. Like, what the hell? Somebody tried to put sugar in the gas tank of your car runs on Kokorin.
Man, I don't know if you got some some good booger sugar going on here. That's a that's a that's a high octane. I tasted it. It's very sweet. It's a ninety three octane. I think it's going to run this bad boy. No problem. Let's just say that. So yeah she, she got lucky and it didn't get sucked into the engine yet so she had to tow it away and all that shit. So but neighbors had seen Jerry creeping around her car and then driving away the night before.
So yeah, everybody knew it was Jerry doing that shit and then he stalks her. Yeah. He just stalks or they're divorced and he got all the shit that he wanted and everything.
But that's not enough. You want Jerry. Well, he's going to win more.
He's going to try to anyway. She goes to the pharmacy to get a prescription and then for one of her kids here and Jerry followed her and she put it in the book, as usual. Jerry was following me. So this seems like a thing, a problem. He pulled up to the drugstore, parked his car beside her. Once she came out of the pharmacy, he popped out of his truck and pointed a rifle at her and said, Are you coming back to me?
Do I have to shoot you? Oh, boy. I was like, well, those are two very different questions. No. One, you can answer one from two probably if you know, because of, you know, do so know how emasculating is rejection to this?
Apparently very Omarska. It's amazing. I don't know what his problem is, but he's going to try to dominate or dominate her with a rifle. Apparently, she said go ahead and shoot me and was like kind of had a little freak out because he she said she was losing her mind because he was stalking her. So she was like, I don't even care anymore. And that made him go away. But this didn't stop. He just continued to stalk her.
She said she would stop at a traffic light and then he would pull up next to her and be like, I you know, sometimes he just pull his rifle up at her and wave at her and drive away.
And very weird stuff that she's claiming he did. So Sims, remember me, remember?
Hi. I still still got the rifle. Nice. Nice to see. Oh, and I'm behind you all the time. Hi.
I mean, Jesus, this is disturbing I would say is a good way to put it right around this time. Jerry meets a new woman. Great name, Luanne. That'll stop everything else. Well, yeah, it does. It stops the stalking got. So I mean, I guess he's busy now. He meets a woman named Luanne Ford is her birth name here. She they get married on January twenty seventh. Nineteen seventy three like pretty much right after.
It's he was seeing her already. Right. Had to have been it but he's still stalking his ex-wife. It's very weird shit. He's, he's only thirty one years old at this point so it's not even like you know, I got nothing else. You're thirty one, you got a big plumbing thing and a ranch and all this shit where a millionaire.
Thirty one fuck is wrong with the smile. Yeah. Get your head out of your ass. Smile cupcake. The fuck. Yeah. Y'all need to smile. Yeah.
Luanne here it was born in nineteen forty six. She's about six years younger than him now. She had a it's alleged that she has a twin sister who died at birth. Awesome. That's the that's what she tells everybody. So we don't know if that's true or if that's just what her story is. One of the story, you know, one of those things that she like made up as a teenager and then like people are like, oh, that's interesting.
And so she just kept saying it.
I'm not sure if that's how it worked or why nobody knows those fun, those fun lies or nobody can corroborate it. Those are the best ones.
And it was in like nineteen forty six in rural Texas. So if they had one that didn't make it, I don't know if they'd even documented it or if they just like give it to the dogs. Yeah. You know, just I don't, I have no idea. Well give it to me first. Let's take pictures and then give it to the dogs. I don't know. I don't know. You know, I don't know what they did back in the forties.
It's the forties. It's not even about Texas.
We got a surplus of baby. Yeah. I mean, the war just ended. We got a lot going on. So when Luanne Luanne actually was married to a guy named Alva, partial mug on in nineteen sixty nine. She had an 18 month old daughter when she was married. Like when she got married, she already had an 18 month old and then they end up getting a divorce and when they get a divorce, she's got a four month old baby by that time.
So she's got two kids coming into this. She gets divorced on January 16th. Nineteen seventy three, she marries Jerry January 27th. Nineteen seventy three. So she waits a whole. Nine days and they get married, so this is definitely you can definitely see this is going to work out as well. Right.
So there's a little bit of an issue with Luann doesn't really like Jerry's kids that much. It seems like it seems like she's not real into Jerry's kids.
And you could see what she had. She has two babies of the dads that aren't around, obviously. Yeah. They were at the beginning of a relationship in the tail end. She doesn't understand the value in what what how how to love a kid.
Maybe I. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Have any idea. It feels like it just from those explanations. She just wants like a life with Jerry where they have whatever. And that's like his past life. She seems like she doesn't really have a whole lot of interest in that.
And it just the attitude toward the kids seems to be different. Well, we'll put it this way. The mother, Jeni, gets a letter from the Texas Department of Human Resources about her daughter in the mail. So if you get a letter from the government about your kid, then there might be an issue with the step mom. So she says, quote, I talked with your daughter, Becky, on November 15th, 1978. This is a few years later.
She is a very attractive girl, fashionably dressed to need an appearance. Calm down. OK, thanks. I guess such a takeaway. This is weird, I guess. Thanks. Luckily, it's a lady named Jolene. OK, so I picture like a like a chubby, red headed lady, Mrs. Garrett, maybe Texas to steal your man big.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Well it's joleen's she's aged now.
She's aged not well but still now. Still your kid. That's the thing. She's very attractive girl. So she told me that her father forbade her to correspond with you because you and she made a complaint about her stepmother to the Wichita Falls child welfare.
So this is where we're going here. The kid and the mom are making a complaint to child welfare about the step mom. And then she's the father's for baiting the kid to talk to them, forbidding the kid to talk to the mother. This is in the states involved. This is a mess. This is a mess. She said that she would like to live with you since Becky is fourteen years old and under Texas law has the legal right to stay with whom she wants to live.
She has a legal right to say with whom she wants to live. You could perhaps engage in attorney and attempt to regain conservatorship of her. I talked with Mr. Stern and Jerry there on January twenty third, nineteen seventy nine. He was very difficult to reach. He was not informed that I had spoken with Becky. I asked him what your visitation rights were. He said that he thought it was that in the summer at his house, he said that he does forbid, Becky, to see you and correspond with you because it is his opinion that Becky has problems after being in touch with you.
So basically, this lady goes on to say, if you want to, like, try to get better visitation, like, you know, this is what I suggest you do. And this is, you know, seems like this lady's like this is pretty fucked up. Yeah. And your husband seems like a dick. And so, you know, maybe if you want to try to see your kids, this is how you can help.
And Jerry doesn't seem like the best. Dad, I don't see your mom because then you have problems. You know, it's all problems. FESA her real bitchy. When you have rice to come over, you're breaking my balls. You're just like, yeah, that's what it seems like. Mom, you're acting she probably he probably is a guy. You're acting like your mother after you see your mother like he's one of those assholes. So nineteen eighty here.
I found in the newspaper from some goddamn newspapers, some rural newspaper in nineteen eighty about a horse race in New Mexico that has race one. That is horse one. Oh so look at this deep night. It's called Deep Night. Got off to a slow start but picked up steam to win the four hundred yard headline race. So there you go.
It's Roo's, Ruidoso Downs and New Mexico. OK, there you go. So his horse one deep night. Wow. Rattrap name it returned 780 to win.
Oh you know, so it was you bet. A dollar and you guys have seven eighty seven dollars and. That's right. It's not bad. That's one thing. You get a lot that's not bad at all.
If you bet on the right horse to parlay and you're really bringing it up with that parlay, I don't see how that works now.
May twenty second nineteen ninety. So we're going to skip ahead. But ten years here from the horse to that, nothing really has changed. Very, very contentious shit going on between always between Genie back, Jeanie, Lou and Jerry. There's always a big fight going on. Oh yeah. There's one point when Jeanie comes over to pick up the kids and Luanne won't let her, won't open the door and the kids are there.
So that's kidnaping. Yeah. So it's a big mess. And Jeannie ends up like breaking some glass and then they end up in a big brawl and they're fighting on the ground. And the cops, Caballe, they're pulling each other's hair. It is a Texas tumble. Boy, let me tell you something. That's there's a lot of hairspray and a lot of big hair grabbing and. Going around and breaking a big old Texas window, it's a lot that's a lot happening that let them fight it out a minute.
Yeah, this is but I mean, this is this type of scene. That's right. This is the stuff that's happened over the last 10 years. There's been literal physical brawls between these women.
And it's a disaster. It's a fucking disaster because Luanne is mainly because it's with the kids. She's not nice to the kids and that's how it works. So allegedly, they're very happy. Lynn and Jerry, on the surface, they seem happy. Sure, I guess so. Jerry has lunch one day on May 22nd, 1990. It's a Tuesday afternoon. He has lunch, lunch with his wife and his bookkeeper, who's another lady named Deborah, who we'll talk about in a minute.
They all hate taco salads. Yeah. All right. From Taco Bell, the Taco Bell, taco salads.
It's fine. I don't know why they all decided.
You know what? I'm in the mood for Dargavel Tacos from Taco Bell. There's more packaging than food in that, too, but it's.
Oh, yeah, no, it's a giant box. Yeah. Give you a sphere with a and then you open it.
Open it like like hello doll. Surprise.
And there's nothing in it. There's nothing evil.
Well then tiny toys to fall out but it doesn't happen a little bit too thick on the crust of those two that that shell is like yeah it's a bit much of taco salad from there. It's Taco Bell.
What are we complaining about. The food. It's like eighty cents we want. Yeah, it's a giant thing for eighty cents.
Yeah of course it sucks. Taco Bell. I do too. It's great. Oh good. Not saying I'm not going to eat it.
No, I'm just saying that you know what you're getting. It's shit and that's what you want. Yeah. So they all a taco salads from Taco Bell and surprisingly enough, Jerry shortly afterwards developed severe abdominal cramps and that'll happen accompanied by nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. So I mean, he got the full sounds like you had Taco Bell for lunch. You got the full spectrum, Jerry. Doesn't sound like sounds like you got what you paid for, sir.
Nothing out of the ordinary. That's called an eighty cents dinner. That's it. That's called the ladies at lunch. That's that's the trade off, right. You got food for eighty cents and the trade off is it's going to spray out of you in liquid form from one orifice or another. So enjoy that without any warning.
It's just going to happen. Yup. That's life.
He felt weak and had shortness of breath as well.
This is a severe case here around four o'clock and very quick for food poisoning, I think about two hours.
I mean, wow, that's a lot to be in that kind of not just like I my stomach doesn't feel good. And then a few hours later, this happens. So four o'clock that afternoon, he took suppositories and felt better. I don't know if he just plugged that up right out of the gate. That's a first choice. First, let's go to what do you want?
Some Pepto? Bhishma sticks up my my ass. Don't you think it goes up the ass if we're going to have to lubricate first before that possible, can I have that?
Maybe give me a beautiful. I think. I mean, why not. Can't wait till I get six. I gotta stick some shit in my arms, you know, I'm just not feeling good or not feeling good. I'll get the last things again.
He slept all night that night.
Next morning he felt weak but not not so sick that he couldn't do anything. So he cooked himself some eggs and toast and eat breakfast and drove out to his horse barn and talked to his friends that were at his horse barn. And if they work for him or what. But he said yesterday I was as sick as a horse, which I didn't know was a term. That sounds like a Texas phrase. That's a Texas phrase. I've heard sick as a dog, obviously, but never sick as a horse.
I feel like they just replace horse with a lot of phrases.
Boxes. Yeah, I mean, like just that kind of cliche idiom. Just put a horse in it, like big as a house that's as big as a horse.
I mean a horse horse is a horse earned. I mean, you know, it's full. My daddy always told me horse sometimes there's not a horse race is often my wrong lesson. That things got done, he said is sick is a horse. He started it. I didn't start this. This isn't from upholders out of my ass. I'm just going over with the information. I am just thrilled about this.
Everything is about a horse I feel like is blind as a horse. It doesn't even have to be an animal.
Now, I think there's anything that he wants the guy to enforce. Although this morning I'm just feeling sort of the horse is a horse boy.
What? He beat me like a red headed step horse, not even his own horse. That's incredible.
He said, I know Lou Ann and Debbie Baker have been I have been stealing from me. Now I think they're feeding me she's feeding me shit to make me sick. Oh, that's what that's what he says. His friends. They are like, OK, Jerry, you are crazy as a horse, Jerry, he's crazier than a horse boy. He is horse shit crazy. Yes, this is bizarre. That one kicked me hard on a horse to do horse shit crazy.
Oh, boy. So you think he's a little he's a little off.
So, I mean, the guy standing there, he goes, I mean, maybe I had food poisoning. Would you eat? He's like a kind of a Taco Bell bro. Like he literally was like you ate Taco Bell and now you're confused why you were sick afterwards.
Like, I get like, you know, whatever. But you had Taco Bell. If you got sick, a guy fucking shouldn't.
I knew I shouldn't be talking about what you say aside from Taco Bell. So Jerry said, I know I was poisoned from something I ate, but I don't think it was food poisoning. They went to Taco Bell and brought food back and we all played together. And I'm the only one who got sick. I've been sicker than a dog since I ate that salad they gave me. Now he's back to a dog. He knows this and he knows it.
He just puts a horse in there because he fucked his brain up. I just love Texas and that's how it is now. Who the fuck is Debbie? I want to talk about the bookkeeper.
Well, Debbie will talk about her. Deborah Neuwirth is how she was born. Here she is. She moved to Wichita Falls in 1963. She's been in this area since around then. She's also a few years younger than than him as well. She's she's she's Luanne's age. So her and Luanne are the same age and they know each other from way back in the day. So that's how that's how she's involved in this whole situation here. Her dad ended up, like I said, moving, getting.
He's the manager of White's auto store in Wichita Falls. And sometime in the 70s, Debre meets a guy named Tony Baker. Tony Baker was married at the time that she met him. He had been he got married when he was sixteen. How you to a woman? This is the most Texas name ever. Brenda Fay Walden. Yeah. You might as well put a horse in there. Brenda Fay horse. Well, that would be the only way to make it more Texas.
Brenda Fay. Wow. There they were married when he was 16. And obviously this didn't end up working out and they ended up April 7th. Nineteen seventy five. They end up getting having their divorce trial. OK, so that's April 7th. Nineteen seventy five. They have their divorce trial. Tony and his wife, that he was sixteen brand Fay. Now Debra and him are already together. Sure. And she's kind of plotting her. You know, he's getting out of that and going to get into this with her.
Now, that's April 7th, the divorce trial, April 13th. Six days later, Deborah's dad begins having chest pains and difficulty breathing. Doctors, you know, are very concerned about this.
They bring him to the hospital and that day he dies. Fok just drops right dead. And that's that he he drops dead when he is shown at the funeral. Everybody comments on how badly swollen his body was.
He's very swollen, very bloated. He looks bloated and swollen, which is a actually a symptom of something that we'll discuss in a little bit here now, Janice, is Deborah as Deborah's mom OK?
Now, Janice is a dispatcher for the Wichita Falls Police Department and lived in Wichita Falls for 14 years before this. After her husband dies, Deborah's dad, Janice, starts getting sick, do all the time.
She becomes nauseated, she's weak, she's dizzy, not feeling good. So Debra starts telling everybody that her mother has diabetes and that her insulin injections make her nauseous and weak. Thing is, though, she doesn't have diabetes. Not at all. Not at all. She's never taking insulin, never taking insulin. She goes to the doctor.
She's not a diabetic because to be talking about she's just telling everybody that she ends up pretty much taking over the household for her mom because her mom's always sick. Yeah, mom's always incapacitated. And yeah, that's that that keeps going here now. October 3rd, nineteen seventy five. Brenda Fay and Toni officially divorce and everything like that. By the way, I have some of the divorce settlement things here for a white trash 1975 divorce. This is fantastic.
Not Brenda was awarded. She's the winner here. The big winner. She's awarded a nineteen seventy two Buick Riviera and a Zenith TV stereo combination.
That's the showcase. So that's it right there. The seventy two Riviera and the Zenith TV stereo combination. She's the winner and Toni gets his car and a tape player. OK, which is definitely not the same as is. I mean come on.
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So Debbie marries Tony Baker a month later after he's divorced.
So this is about seven months after her dad died. Shortly after dad died.
Yeah, it's not very long at all.
August 25th, the next year, Deborah gives birth to a son. So they got real busy right away. In the first couple of months, they were getting impregnated. They have a son, Charles Wayne Leigh Baker, which sounds like a guy who shoots people from a clocktower, doesn't it?
If you said you ever heard of Charles Wayne Baker, you go, didn't he shoot a bunch of people blindly? Yeah, she gave. Two middle names of like the most vicious serial killers on our Charles Wayne Lee. He's the guy he killed, 18 people think, right?
Yeah, he had a letter is a televangelist that also fingers the secretary. Well, I figured he's out anyway, and it's obvious. But then he then he climbed the clock tower as people found out. And that's how it works. I think everybody knows they figured my secretary now I'm in trouble. She was asking for literally she said, please. Vanger Me and I was shaking like a horse. All right? She just begged me like a horse.
She wanted it. That's all I thought, because I was like, man, she's as sexy as a horse or she is a horsey kind of woman.
How hard is a horse? She's a horse. Hard as a horse. Why?
Oh, so yeah, they get married there. They have a son and all this sort of shit. She November 26. Nineteen seventy seven is the morning after Thanksgiving. Janice Deborah's mom becomes very ill and collapses. So Deborah calls an ambulance at eight fifty four a.m. she Janice arrives at the hospital dead on arrival. Oh no. Collapsed die dead. Don Silver died.
That done. And it's all over. So two days later, her body is transported to the funeral home and she's buried next to her husband. And everybody was very surprised that she just dropped dead. She didn't have like a heart condition or anything like that. And, you know, just a weird thing. It was, oh, my God, very strange.
Deborah also tells people multiple reasons of her mom's death. How come your mom died? Oh, she had a stroke, OK. And then she'll tell somebody else, oh, diabetes finally got her diabetes finally finally wore down that she couldn't do it anymore. So it's everybody is very suspicious of like. That's weird, right? Yeah. It's just a strange thing. It's kind of just sad, though. Everyone's like, oh, it's so sad. Yes.
And it's even sadder that the daughter just doesn't doesn't give the right reason. Not she doesn't seem to know so many stories about how the woman died.
What she does get, Debra, definitely is her and her husband, Tony, their inherit everything. They inherit the estate, they inherit the life insurance policy, everything. So she's the sole beneficiary of all of her mom's shit. So her Antonie now can live a normal life here and not have to really ever worry and work as hard here. So now Debbie is a horse richer than a horse boy.
Debbie gets arrested here in the eighties a couple of times she gets arrested for delivery of a controlled substance, which is ten years probation. She gets in nineteen eighty five oh early eighty five and then nineteen eighty seven. What I found and I think it's her, it's the same name and everything like that. From what I found the ages matched up.
She also in nineteen eighty seven it looks like possibly was charged with organized crime, which is usually a drug thing.
They do that and it's like some lady in Texas, it's usually not. She didn't have like, you know, a mafia hit squad, probably controlled substance so they could be anything in Texas.
That's the thing that she thought or something or sperm. You know, it is free thought, her sperm, anything.
The case ends up being dismissed. The organized crime case, though, there. So who knows? Now, in the early 80s, Deborah ran into Luanne again. Then they hadn't seen each other in a while and they knew each other from back in the day. And she, Deborah, finds out Luanne's married to like some rich guy who owns a plumbing company who lives on a big ranch. She's like, Jesus Christ, let's be friends. This is awesome.
Yeah. So they do. They start hanging out and they're inseparable after this. Luann is I'm sorry, Deborah's unemployed, tells the man she really needs a job. And Luann says, well, shit, I know my husband's looking for a bookkeeper for the plumbing business. We're going to plug you right in thick.
His horse thieves thick as horses so blue and told her husband that an old friend of hers is a bookkeeper, needs a job. Jerry brings her on. Perfect. So the years go by through the eighties and Deborah and Luann become close friends. They're inseparable to the point where Jerry accuses them of fucking each other.
Jerry is like, fuck you too fucking. I mean, he spent a lot of time with that lady. You claim like you're fucking around in the horse licking, are you horse licking?
That's a fucking horse. That's incredible. I do horse Munchen with her girls.
I heard you say y'all was Rugg horse in and out.
I've been doing that rough horse and. Yeah, oh boy. They call call horse play something. So they. Horsing around, horsing around is something I don't like the sound of that, how insecure and automatic automatic right there and they must be fanger other than hanging out all the time.
More interested in her than me. I don't hang out with the people unless I don't. I think that's where he's coming from. Literally, it says so much more about him.
I don't hang out with guys. Right. I want to fuck. I'm Jesus Christ. What the hell are you doing?
I say my business. I do my business. I get the fuck out. That's it. That's a Maten. Jesus Christ.
So Luanne and Jerry's marriage is rocky about this whole thing because of a lot of it stems from Deborah. Yeah. Also, she's a shitty bookkeeper. Really. Yeah. So she's a shit bookkeeper and she's he thinks she's, you know, not even go to a job and probably fucking my wife. Yeah. So yeah. Why do I like these two. So they pretty much by 1990 they kind of live separate lives in the same house and sleeps on the couch a lot.
And you know all of this shit and it's the Debra thing is a constant it's a constant source of some shit, you know, of arguments and agitation.
So May twenty third. Nineteen ninety. Jerry's daughter, Becky, from his first marriage with Jeanie there, says that Jerry looks weak and doesn't doesn't look right.
Remember, this is after the Taco Bell incident the next day.
So she calls Becky calls her mom to tell her that Jerry actually had been admitted to the hospital. So she's he's in the hospital. She said he looked pale and weak, but he told me he felt better after he got into the hospital. So, you know, we're hoping that he should be OK. So the way they got the way he ended up in the hospital is one of his employees came to the house to check on some plumbing instructions and found him like really not in good shape and just basically picked them up and took them in the car and put them in and took him to the hospital that there wasn't even a thought about it.
So he's there.
He's put in intensive care for that fucking employee, you know, shit. Yeah. He's given IV and everything he needs. He needs things. The nurse checks on him every 15 minutes. Luanne's in the room with him. They call it acute gastroenteritis or possible food poisoning. They don't know what he says. His abdomen hurts. His ribcage is tender from throwing up as it gets. You know, that goes that's the worst part about it. You like the flu for a couple of days.
Your whole ribcage is sore from puking. The tenderness is crazy. It's the worst part of it. You don't realize how many muscles you have that you utilize to do that. And that's the only motion, I assume, that uses those muscles. Bookings, apparently, they lay dormant. Yeah, I need to puke. Puke like, oh God, I go and then they panic for six days after. That's it. Yeah, it's a problem.
12:00 or 1:00 a.m. nurse checked on Jerry and said that he's resting comfortably. No nausea or vomiting during this. Luanne and Debbie Baker in the room with Jerry LaLanne is giving her a drink, giving him a drink of seven up that Debbie had brought to the hospital. Nurse returns at one ten. Jerry is now violently vomiting. Fuck. She gave him some other suppository again, stuff everything up your ass. As soon as everything something is wrong, I guess it hits faster anyway.
Well, I imagine so. You throw up the medication, I start putting Advil up there.
Does it absorb faster through the sphincter, putting liquid gels up my ass?
What's going on here? Is that what I'm doing now?
And I'll give it a run now hard. I'm putting my ass. Yeah, I'm trying. You should be myself. It seems like the answer. The first thing they go for the ass immediately. I never want to get sick. That's why guys do that. That's why guys will wait until we're on our death bed because they're just going to stuff up my ass. I'm into this. So she does this. I'm the doctor. She calls the doctor, tells him that he's got kidney failure drop and blood pressure vomiting.
He woke up at five a.m. and was OK after that May. Twenty fourth. Deborah and Luanne are again visiting Jerry in the hospital the next day. Debbie, they're all there. Jerry says he didn't trust Debbie and didn't want to take anything from her but trust his wife. He trusts the man. So he took the cocacola that Luanne brought him and he drank some of it. And, you know, he's he's fine with that eight. Thirty a.m. they go to the room, the nurse does, and he's vomiting and his blood pressure dropped again.
Two hours later he passed. I mean, this is too much. I know this is a lot of information. I'm not going to tell you there. It's so detailed in this one part of this book where she literally tells you how many cases of diarrhea he had. And I'm like, I really don't need to know this to the CDC, you know what I mean? He was sick. And, you know, I went to the bathroom.
I get it. This is a really good fell out of his ass. I get it. That's what you know, how much not really an exact measurement, as a matter of fact, an exact measurement like we would do with medication. Would you like that? Holy shit, when a doctor says, get him this many seats. Yeah, of. Right. Take this out of him. Jesus Christ.
So 10:00 o'clock, they visit him again. Luanne and Debbie, they're alone with him in the room. They stay for two hours. Their nurse comes back about 1:00 in the morning, finds Jerry throwing up again. Tammet keeps getting medication or whatever. So that goes on all night. He's in stable condition by the end of the night. A few days later, though, GenY, the ex-wife gets a call for Becky saying that she called the hospital to talk to her dad in the land, wouldn't put her through.
And, you know, complaining about Luanne not letting her talk to the father and she's trying to check on her. So, I mean, it's, you know, a lot of complaining. June 1st, 1990, Jerry is sleeping. Luanne is there and inform the nurse that Jerry was urinating frequently. So I don't know what to sign for. That is Jerry woke up and said he felt better. Use the bathroom, take a shower, watch TV, read the paper.
He seemed better. Better. His blood pressure was right. His breathing was nice. Everything was good. Constitution of a horse of a god damn horse, healthy as a cow.
He his wife remained with him in the hospital room and everything was fine. So June 2nd, they discharged from the hospital. He goes home. OK, so now he's back at the ranch right next couple of days later, they're his son. Sandy comes home to the ranch to see him and she walks. He walks in the bedroom to find his dad's second bed. Again, very sick to the point he's too weak to to slip something himself. Luanne is there with Debbie Baker, and Luanne is spoon feeding him liquid at this point.
So he said, what are you giving him? And she said, we're trying to get your dad to sip some cranapple juice. The doctor says he needs liquids. He's too weak to drink from a glass. This is June 3rd, by the way. Cranapple juice. Keep that in your mind. So we put some juice and a tablespoon. He's taking small sips, but he's getting some liquid. So, yeah. Anyway, Jeanie calls talks to him at this point, they have an argument, of course.
He says, I'm drinking cranapple juice. And she's like, well, who's Debbie? And he said, none of your fucking business. And I went back and forth. So June 4th, nineteen ninety Sandi's there again, the son and checks on his dad and his dad's really sick, not looking good. He's having difficulty breathing. His face and body are badly swollen. He's not looking good, Jerry. So Sandy says I am taken to the hospital.
Luanne's says do not take him to the hospital. He's fine. Jerry, quote, Jerry don't need to be in the hospital. Oh, boy.
That's what she said. So, yeah, he said, oh, yes, we are. If I have to get the neighbors to help me carry him to the car, he's going to the hospital. Yeah. So there's that. I guess Luanne tried to block him from going into the bedroom to see him and he said, I told you, you know, they go back and forth. Turns out he goes back to the hospital. Sandy gets his way here.
I know. If he just calls an ambulance. Yeah. I mean, that's what I would do. Just mom's call an ambulance.
Medical professionals have a look and we'll get their fucking opinion. I'll say he's in there and they'll have to go look at him. And then there you go. Yeah, he's he's swollen and not breathing. Well, he's gone to the hospital, so he's back in the emergency room that night. He's not doing well. He's got an IV going on rapid pulse, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, all sorts of shit going on here. He's treated in the intensive care unit and all that shit.
Now, 8:00 a.m., Luanne and Debby come back to visit him. Yeah, they check on him here. They talk to Luanne. And, you know, they get they get all the medication orders around 10:00 a.m.. Luanne, Luanne gives him some soda that she brought to the hospital. He drank most of the seven up. She and Debbie left the hospital about forty five minutes later. He has a seizure, seizure like episode in his hands and feet flail up in the air.
He's yeah. Thirty seconds long. This and then. And then he's vomiting all over the place. So not good. This is bad.
Eleven twenty. The hospital tells Zwaan to get permission to insert a central line for a spinal tap. Oh God damn it. By noon he's hallucinating and seeing objects and visions in the room that aren't that well.
If there's a side effect that's fun. I guess it's like, well, I mean, this ain't bad.
At least I got this. At least it's a party. Yeah. So, yeah, this is getting really, really bad. His wife and his mother now comes there as well. Jerry is alert, but he doesn't have motor coordination by later on in that night. He can't hold a glass of water without spilling it. He's got a generalized raised rash all over his body. He is. He's got problems. Jerry's mother is saying, please get specialist.
He's got money. He'll pay for it. Just get him fucking fix him. Basically, Jesus Christ, the hell's going on. And then Jerry's mother also said, and why the hell is Debbie Baker here all the time? She's not family. Why is she always in the room? You know, I don't want her here. And Luanne, you know, didn't answer, but it's obvious because it's her friend.
So on June 6th. His blood, his blood pressure is still not good. He can't hold any water. He's hallucinating. Still, he's got confusion. All sorts of problems are sick in the stomach. Not wonderful. June 5th.
So Sandy calls his mom again, worried about his dad saying, you know, he said, quote, I thought I was going to have to knock Luann out just so I could get daddy to the hospital. She kept standing between the door and me and he was gasping for air, trying to breathe. I was afraid he was going to die. I went next door and got the neighbors to help me get carried daddy to the car. Luanne kept grabbing my arm saying, your dad is fine.
He don't need to go to the hospital. He's doing just fine where he is. He said the doctors can't do anything for Jerry anyway. That's what she kept saying. And Lord. So he said I told her I was taking daddy to the hospital and I'm taking them there. Yeah. And that's my baby. That's a Texas thing or some other thing the grown men call their father daddy. It's a it's a little bizarre. It's OK. It's a it's a regional thing.
OK, it's not OK. Yeah. And I don't know many people. You know what? It's just like people up north do it too though.
I never heard it. Really never. I'm not where I'm from. People in Minnesota. I've heard it from people I don't like fucking Michigan and Wisconsin, Midwest and South. That's what it is like.
I've never heard the guy go, yeah, me and my daddy going to fucking thing that never I never once I've never heard that my daddy will go fishing. I've never heard it once. You know, a black guy being like, yeah, me and my daddy. This never happened. No, never.
Never. I never heard it. I don't know. Maybe that's me. Puerto Rican dudes never said that. I never heard it back home. Maybe it's just a regional thing.
Mexican guys don't say it either. No, they don't. But yeah, you go.
So June six, Jerry tells the nurse he's leaving the fucking hospital. He's done. He doesn't care if he's sick or not. He's getting out of here. Basically, he says, I'm going to Dallas where I can get some good doctors. You people suck. I'm getting out of this hospital. This is after he's been, like, hallucinating and shit, too. So they end up strapping him down. What? They strap him down. He's screaming and yelling, saying he's going out.
He needs to get out of here.
They give him Haldol to try to calm him down or that doesn't work. He's still losing his shit and he's screaming, you're helping them kill me. You're helping them kill me. He doesn't. He thinks everybody's after him. It's got a lot of paranoia. He the security team has to come in and overpower him. Finally, Jeannie, his ex-wife calls a police officer, friend of his from there that he respects and talks to all the time and says maybe you can calm him down, go over and just talk to him, hang out with him.
So he does. He goes over, Hey, Jerry, how's it going? And he said, I'm sick. They've been doing all kinds of tests on me. And he said, you got to get me out of here. They're trying to kill me. I'm going to die. Oh, no. Then he says, I've got thirty five thousand dollars missing.
That's what he comes out with. He goes, they took it. Those two women took it. They're trying to kill me. They fed me shit. Luanne and Debbie, they're trying to kill me. You got to help me get me out of here. You got to help me cut me loose. Cut these straps off. So this guy's like Jerry's fucking trippin. Yeah.
But you also got to look at the part where, you know, Jerry, if you didn't live like such a psychopathic asshole, sometimes maybe we'd take more shit seriously. That's the well, there just I mean, the nurse said he's hallucinating when he wanted something, anything. He says no one's taking it seriously right now. Said he threw up a rainbow. Yeah, it was beautiful. It was beautiful as amazing. So nice. I mean, it's just I felt so much better looking.
I felt sick beforehand, but now I'm good right now I'm good. Now I'm healthy as a kid.
So but that's when you run around the fucking town carrying rifles and shit, scaring your ex-wife. Yeah, it's it's you live like a lunatic. Nobody takes you seriously.
It's true what this guy, he keeps saying, I've got thirty five thousand missing and now the guy's like, are you sure about that. He's like, yeah. And he said, well what happened to it. And he goes, they took it. He said pointing toward the door like Luanne and Debby is what he said. He said, Cut me loose, get me out of here. And he's like, Listen, I can't cut you loose.
You know, you're crazy right now. So I guess that, by the way, they've been telling the hospital that Debbie was a sister the whole time Debbie and Luanne were doing that.
Yeah, because in a nurse's report, it says wife and sister Luanne and Debbie Baker, we're so yeah, they're at his bedside. He's extremely confused with delusions of persecution. They write this whole report on him. Yeah.
So he's still sick. The next day, they said a respiratory distress progressed to respiratory arrest. He's intubated.
I mean, this is all really fucking crazy. We'll apprize wife of guarded prognosis at this point. Like they're like it's ridiculous. So this is getting really, really bad and scary. Dead serious. Dead serious. June 12th. Nineteen ninety. My birthday it is. It's my birthday. So I was a kid and I remember this birthday. I got a bike for this birthday, which is awesome. I had a great birthday, unfortunately for. His is less good on June 12th because he dies, oh, no.
So Jerry was dying while I was thrilled to have a performer. Your bike killed him. Dead, dead.
You had a duty to prevent two of those bullets. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's not the most popular bike to steal. Yeah, I wanted it for, like, I don't know, two years. Yeah. You know, eventually you got it. And all of those things, like no one had been complaining for two years, has stolen it got stolen from me.
I think there was only one in my neighborhood.
We just kept stealing it from a back and forth go back and forth. I never saw one that wasn't chrome. It was they were all chrome and had written in yellow. Mine was white, really, and a white one. There was only one in my neighborhood.
And I remember the chrome ones I was called. I remember so that the Cronin's with a proper former. Yes. I think that was more expensive. I didn't know the proper farmer's market by like another hundred dollars. I had the performance. It wasn't chrome.
It was painted. Yeah it was. Yeah. I think it said pro on the frank it did the chrome ones with a pink bike. Remember that they were fun. So when I won that one but I got the other one but I was happy with that and thrilled and it was much better than dying. Yeah. So yeah I'll take it anyways.
I got two kids that almost died on him though. Oh yeah. I'm sure I took my life in my hands several times. Several times. And that bike I know I did. As a matter of fact I would be like, yeah you can probably jump that shit.
If you go down that and go up, you'll jump pedal fast. How high will you go? What's going to happen when you land? Yeah, I don't see to go up my ass. I have no idea. I'll lose the bike land on my head, break my neck. Anything's possible, but I'm going to try it. Let's do it. Heavy for a trek. Bikes till you get on the pegs. While I do it. I think it'll be more fun if you get on the backpack.
While we do, you can experience flight with me.
Yeah, we'll both enjoy ourselves. Ah, but I need someone to go to the emergency room with. Please. I'll get matching that. Let's go. We did so fast as a horse we got a really really awesome.
So yeah basically the death happens and Genie comes in the ex-wife and she makes a lot of observations and she puts in the book, she says quote, This is from her book, Luann Act as if she was overcome with emotion while Debby stood by the elevator and chewed nervously on her fake fingernails. A short time later, the two women were seen standing in the hospital corridor talking and laughing as if they had just heard a funny joke. Oh, yeah, that's not good.
When your husband just died, that's a bad look. Even if something's funny. Go then husband.
Eat with your fake presence. What the fuck? I'd love to laugh at that, but very funny, you understand.
Funny though, the only approval of your joke you're going to get is me going. I approve I that's it. I'm not going to laugh.
You're going to can't do solemnly nod like you are a funeral. Anyone's spouse is dead. Don't you understand yet. So suddenly Becky screamed. That's the daughter at this point. I'll tell you one thing. There's no way Daddy would poison himself. Look at the way she's laughing and carrying on, pointing at Luann, saying she's happy that daddy's dead. I think she poisoned Daddy, a ballsy kid.
She's screaming this at the hospital. So I was like, whoa. I mean, she's in her 20s at this point. So that's a good point. Twenty two still not taking any shit. So Jimmy calls in the police here. Oh, boy.
By the way, in her book. And I mean, I guess it's just it is what it is. But for some reason, it's so funny. There's this picture in the book and it just made me fucking laugh so hard. There's a picture of Jeannie and she's just got like it's a it's not like a picture like, you know, you take like she wasn't like at her house or something. It's a it's a photo shoot. Yeah. Clearly like a, you know, a shot.
And she's like looking solemn.
And the caption for it says, Jeannie Sad after she heard her husband died. And I'm like, wait a second. Now, that's a picture of her sad but not sad because her husband died unless she was like my husband died. Alert the portrait studio. I need to go take I need to capture this moment. They have to get a picture of her at that moment again. Or is this prior to publishing? The photographer said, give me sad.
Maybe she's in the middle of a photo shoot when she got the phone call and they were like, use that. Right, some sad ones. I don't know what it was. I don't mean to make fun of it, but it was fucking ridiculous. He's dead. It's a good thing I'm at Olan Mills, right?
Yeah. You're going to fire that up. Let's do it. Jesus Christ. My God. So see, she at this point, Jeannie is in New York. She says so she's trying to call she calls the police down there to say that Jerry was murdered. So this is the ex-wife is calling from across the country to say that thing that happened there is murder, even though I'm not that. Yeah. So the cops, as you can imagine, aren't taking this that seriously.
She says, I'm calling to report a murder. So they think I just saw somebody get murdered. They got shit. We know who's murdered. And she said, yeah, man died at the hospital. He was poisoned to death. I'll look into that and all immediately he goes, all right, calm down, what are you talking about here? Like, sounds crazy to me. So they, you know, he goes through, gets everybody's name and she's he's like, so who are you to this is how are you involved in this?
And she goes, Well, I'm the ex-wife.
And he's like, oh, this is sure perfect. Have a nice day, ma'am.
And he's like, where are you calling from? Long Island. So, you know the ex-wife and you're not even here. Yeah.
I don't have to live with you. I have to deal with you. And you're a Yankee. Yeah, my father. Fuck out of here. Come on. Well, come on down.
We'd love to give you a speeding ticket, but we'd love to give you a speeding ticket.
Come on down and hurry. My, my my deputies are at the border. They're waiting on you. You'll be the one with the New York plates. So he said basically, like, you know, it's not up to me whether he you're not up to you, whether anything happens. It's up to his wife and up to the police and how they you know, how that autopsy comes out. And he said she said he was my ex-husband. Our children were at the hospital when he died.
They're over there now. And he's like, well, you know, we'll look into it. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Now, at the funeral, by the way, this is a sad looking funeral. Just it's like a tent in the middle of a field and it's just a barren Texas field.
It looks now, by the way, he wanted to go down, but either way, they go there. Now, Jeannie has some some commentary on the behavior of of the revolution here, play by play of the fucking funeral.
Yes. And she also takes a picture next to the casket where she's leaning on it and she looks the happiest I've ever seen a person. She is posing like people do with a new car, with their hand on the hood, like, oh, my God, I did it. And like but it's it's her dead husband's casket, that ex husband's casket. It's really weird shot to put in the book. Like I've heard, like, this is me happy next to the casket.
Really strange. The Price is right model. It really was like she was showing it off. Yeah. What do you think here. Twelve hundred bucks. I don't know. So she says, quote, Jerry's widow was attired in a wrinkled gray blue dress. She appeared happy and content as she sat in her chair. Yes. It's amazing. Didn't even I didn't even iron it.
She turned around in her seat and started talking to Debbie, who was sitting right behind her land's clothing. And entire behavior at the gravesite seemed to be very distasteful, demeaning and utterly dreadful for clothes.
I trained my eyes on the cheerful widow I watched as she kicked off her scuffed up shoes. She's getting late. Took her shoes off at the funeral. At the funeral, I think she was really scuffed up. She really wanted to have it or they were shit. She too.
Yeah. Stretching out her legs in front of her as though she was on a leisurely and enjoyable picnic or an outing. She showed no outward signs of heartbreak or grief. I soon noticed her hairy legs. What is why are you I don't need to know about the wrinkles on her dress or the hair on her legs or the scars on her shoes. This is really this is really like some personal like. So I'm like, she's really attacking her. Yeah.
She's been waiting to say some some cheap shit for a while and she finally gets the opportunity and it's warranted now. So it's good. She's like fattiness is strong. It's good. It's good. She's strong. She's got big things she's complaining about. But then she's like, by the way, she's got hairy legs and scuffed up shoes and a wrinkle dressed.
Do those white or wrinkly dress, hairy legs and fucking shoes off at a funeral.
She seems to really consider this Luann white trash the way she, like, talks about her, too. The way she quotes her is always like, you know. Yeah. Something that's always like don't instead of it's always like like, you know, white trash, more trash is her up. And then I don't know that could be true.
I'm just saying it's that's definitely point points and certainly seems like somebody takes her shoes off on an airplane.
Oh God. Yeah.
Monster mother fucking sons of bitches do you. That is not your house. You're a pig. You are a monster. You are horrible. A monster and the most selfish person on earth. I would like flight attendants to walk through with like a police baton.
And when someone has their feet and then I'm on my shoes off their shoes off and feet up on anything, you fucking whack their ankles with that shit.
Oh, you got to put your fucking shoes on you. Animal grass isn't your goddamn room. No one wants to look at you.
I sit there, I like, crack my heels out of them and then push them over to the side like, you know, I mean, not not just to get my toes a little room to move, but not but I will never take the shoe all the way out, if that's a gross on some people, it's the first thing they do. Yeah. So she said, quote, Whereas this year it seemed like Ann did not care much for her husband.
I tried I tired of looking at the Merry Widow and glanced around the cemetery. And then she talks about the fact that the police were there and they were kind of look like they were keeping an eye on the widow and all that sort of shit. So the sheriff walks over afterward. Sheriff Bogarde, who, by the way, used to be a cowboy. He like a. Cowboy like the picture of him that you could first first picture that comes up when you Google search him is a black and white of him roping a calf from a horse.
It's the first thing you find. So he's known as the cowboy sheriff. Yeah. He says that was quite a spectacle the widow put on. I can't believe that woman was sitting in a funeral car laughing. A person would think that the woman could at least act like she was in mourning after all, she was burying her husband. I noticed your kids were crying their eyes out. If I wasn't sure before. I'm sure now that she poisoned him to death.
I'm also fairly sure she had help killing him.
And by God, I'm going to prove it. I'm going to give it. Prove it, Horsetail. I'm going to give it to him. I'm a hogtie.
This one genie says, well, the first person I'd point the finger at who helped her would be the bookkeeper right away. If the autopsy confirms my suspicions here, then, you know, blah, blah, blah. Basically, they think it's arsenic. That's what the cop says, because he was bloated and has all the signs of arsenic. And it's just waiting on the just waiting on the autopsy.
Police rule it a homicide, really. They do rule at a homicide. So they said, quote, We've ruled it a homicide, but we're waiting on the autopsy results to make it official and then, you know, whatever. So they bring him in.
They they open it up and they find out that he had very, very, very high levels of arsenic, like an insane level of arsenic in his system.
Definitely enough to kill him a couple of times over. Yeah. Took a lot to kill him then it's. Yeah. That well, it's like they got some he's been kind of for six weeks, he's been getting like constantly.
So it's, you know, a little bit crazy here. They also bring in a guy named Texas Ranger Bill Gertha, who I remember he had a lot of fun with it, the live show, because he's a big fat guy named Bill Gerth, which is great. Villinger And that's really easy to Veli girth. And his picture was him, like with him leaning on a table.
So his belly was like on the table like and displaying it like it was like like a buffet big fat fuck named girth and girth. That guy should he should be working out every day just enough because of that last name.
So please talk to Luanne when they talk to her. She said she had no idea how arsenic could have entered her husband's body. I have no idea what you're talking about. He doesn't have any enemies.
I don't get it at all. So, Jeannie, on the other hand, they call her and they go, look, we got to talk to you. We think your son killed your ex-husband. What do you think it was, Sandy? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Said, you know, willing to punch a woman in the face.
Probably murders a lot of finger pointing toward your son. Luanne and Debbie are saying that he hated his dad and he wanted him dead. And some others are saying Sandy was the one who had the motive and the opportunity. And right now he's the prime suspect. So she said, I can tell you that Sandy didn't have anything to do with it. And the sheriff said, well, he's got a lawyer and he won't talk to us. So that's kind of suspicious and a good point.
That's a good point. But at the same time, they're like, we think you killed your dad. And he's like, oh, hey, now, I don't think so. Let me get a lawyer. Yeah. If you have any money and someone thinks you killed anybody, you got a fucking lawyer because otherwise that's not going to be good for you. So she tells the sheriff that Debbie and Toni Baker were hanging around the cemetery after everyone left after the funeral and blah, blah, blah.
I took pictures of it by. So he gets the pictures also. They're very mad because Toni Baker was driving his prized Gerry's prized Lincoln. Continental really apparently had a very, very fancy Lincoln, kind of Lincoln Continental. That was his like baby that no one was allowed to touch. And to the funeral, Debbie and Toni Baker drove there and that.
Yeah. So that's everyone's like, well, that's not normal. He looks that he would have never let that guy go near his goddamn car.
So other leads, though, they said they've learned the diet pills didn't have anything to do with it because he's Jean said he took diet pills maybe. Is that possible?
They said that's not the way that that happened. They found out, you know, a lot of shit. They were talking to another guy who works with a coworker, one of his employees, Jerry employees, who was kind of like the number one guy there who's going to run the business when Gerry's away. And he said that Jerry was a hard man to work for, but he wasn't a liar. And he was you know, he was fine.
He the guy told on him saying Debbie or the guy told on Debbie Baker, though, saying that Debbie was stealing from Jerry through accounts payable to get money for herself. When Debbie became aware that this guy found out about it, she started telling Jerry lies about this guy to try to get him fired. Oh, my gosh. So he said that he was you know, her lies caused a lot of friction. So this guy ended up quitting his job because all because of this lady, because of Debbie, he said that Debbie and Luann were very close.
They ate together, watch TV together, did everything together. They were like a couple, basically. He said when Jerry got. SIC, he was very bloated and didn't know it was wrong, Jerry said the doctors weren't doing anything for him and couldn't give him any relief. And basically he was saying that the doctors were quacks and he was going all off on that shit.
So based on the fact that they find out that that he has said he had money missing, they start looking into that further. So a couple months later, December 12th, 1990, his accountant, who they, you know, knows all this information is murdered. Oh, no.
His accounts parted as well. How do you get marks? I don't know that he was found dead behind a store. Oh, I'm in Wichita Falls, which is not usually where you find accountants, you know, littered in alleys and shit. Not usually. So. Yeah. And you know what he said to the sheriff the day it happened? He says to the ex-wife, Jeannie, quote, Funny thing, though, Andrew Coaker, he's the dead accountant, called me yesterday.
Oh. So Andrew Coaker had contacted him yesterday saying he had something important to tell him about Jerry Stern Adel's accounts and what he had found of where money was. Sure. And then he's dead, murdered the next day, thrown behind a store. So he said that he would be in Andrew Coaker was supposed to be into the sheriff's office at nine o'clock in the morning and then the guy winds up dead later on that night. Doesn't ever get to it.
Wichita Falls police say his death was a suicide, but the sheriff said that now the sheriff didn't buy that at all.
He said no. I interviewed Coaker on June 20th right after he died. He told me he prepared Jerry's taxes for Jerry. Yeah, he said he did the books for Jerry in 89 and that there was thirty two thousand dollars missing and that they had a separate plumbing account with more money in it. And he stated that Debbie Baker was a bad bookkeeper. And Coaker is Coaker told him about a big life insurance policy on Jerry as well, that the cops didn't know about it.
So he had all this information.
Your accountant knows where the bodies are buried. They do. So that's what they needed to talk to. And he says, I'm going to talk to you tomorrow. I'll be there at 9:00 and then goes and kills himself behind a store. Doesn't sound right. Doesn't sound right. So they believe that he's murdered, but no one's ever arrested for it. So, yeah, not great. Now, there's one more person in this that in the peripheral craziness here, Thomas Bradley.
OK, Thomas Bradley is a young man.
He is. He was visiting Jerry's stepdaughter, Holly, who is Luanne's first our second daughter. Second child. He was there hanging out on vacation there.
That's where I go on vacation. Yeah, outside of Wichita Falls.
He helped himself to some juice, some cranapple juice that was in the fridge and, you know, just got a drink out of this. I'm thirsty. And so we grab something. After drinking the juice, he became really ill. Really, really, really, really ill. Yeah, he was nineteen years old. He lived in Boonville, Missouri, but he had come to Wichita Falls for a job that summer and he drank a glass of juice and basically he, he ended up with shingles from this.
Wow. Yeah. Which was a side effect of arsenic poisoning. Really. Yeah. Didn't know where he got it from but he had drank juice at their house. Cranapple juice. Remember, cranapple juice is spoonfed right at that time because this was early June that this happened. So June of nineteen ninety. So June 15th, nineteen ninety three days after Jerry's dad, the sheriff's office receives a phone call from his mother, this kid's mother saying that she heard about the investigation of a poisoning concerning the rancher Jerry Stern Del.
And she said that her grandson had spent the night over there and got sick from drinking juice from the refrigerator. She told the authorities that her grandson was taken to the hospital where he was treated for a virus. Luann had come to the clinic while he was there. He wanted to check on and make sure he's OK. He's very concerned, sick at my house. Oh, God. She came to the clinic for about five minutes and told his grandparents that and the mother not to worry about the bill.
I'll take care of it, although it's nice. You know, I'm just a good Samaritan here. Socially responsible. Very responsible. He said that he spent about a month in Wichita Falls working with Jerry Stern Adell stepdaughter Holly at Uncle Lynn's Catfish Restaurant. He's a boy.
He testified later on he will that there's a party. One night in early June at a coworker's apartment. Holly had allowed him to sleep in her sister's bedroom rather than having him drive all the way home because it was another town. He said that he arose the next morning and Holly and Sandy were cleaning the house in preparation for Jerry to come home from the hospital. He asked if he could have something to drink and they said, help yourself. Whatever's in there you can get.
So he went to the fridge, got himself a glass of juice. He said he took two swallow's of the juice. He said, I felt it burn all the way down my throat and into my stomach. That's whiskey, sir. That's why this is good, some good cranapple right here. Let's take another slug. Oh, boy, let it vulval feeling good now.
He said, I felt it burn all the way down. He recalled within 10 to 15 minutes, he had a bout of diarrhea and severe vomiting. That's fast acting.
That is fast fucking acting. Wow. Yes, he suspected food poisoning. He said I felt like I was dying. He said he was taken to the clinic and treated for what they thought was a viral infection. He felt like shit for two or three days. And he returned to his home in Missouri where the sheriff's office contacted him, and he went through a series of tests based on that. And they proved that he had been poisoned with arsenic while at some point.
So now you would think at this point, I mean, this is all pretty the you know, the money missing this. A lot of there's a lot going on here. No arrests made for a while here. A whole year goes by with no arrests made here. Nineteen ninety one comes around. Nothing, as a matter of fact, during this time, because Jerry had a big life insurance policy, Luann buys Stella, her daughter, her first daughter, her her last daughter and her husband.
They were struggling to make ends meet. And so Luanne bought them a big giant house at that point in time.
Nineteen ninety one, Luanne moves with Deborah and Tony, the three of them away to San Marcos to start a trucking business together.
And so they're awfully chummy, you know what I'm saying?
Like the third wheel with this. This is very, very strange, very weird thing here. It's finally June 8th. Nineteen ninety two. There's a breakthrough in the case. So this is two years have gone by with nothing happening here. The kids that has to drive you fucking crazy. That's frustrating.
Like, I know what happened. You know what happened and nothing's happening. So why the this is Jeannie getting a call from the sheriff in nineteen ninety two in June. He said, Jeannie, for two years you've been telling me not to give up on finding the arsenic. I kept telling you Debbie and Luanne threw the poison away. Well, I've got some really good news. He said we think we found something here. They said that they got a phone call from a storage warehouse in Wichita Falls.
The manager said he was unable to locate the person who rented a storage locker and the rent was long overdue. So he decided to open the locker and sell the contents. Obviously, he confiscating and selling the contents was normal. So the manager opened up the locker and saw Jerry Stern, Adele's name on shit I'm documents and things. He knew Stern. Adele was a man who they thought was murdered and was. Now there's an investigation. He saw the story on TV in the newspaper.
So he called the manager, said he called the warehouse lawyer who then called the police department to say, let's check it out. So the cops go over there and they went to the warehouse. They start looking around and inside the storage unit, they find a bottle of arsenic. Oh, no, a bottle of fucking arsenic in storage.
Rowley's rat and mouse poison. Holy shit. Yeah, they said it's locked up and everything like that. They didn't throw it out. He said, well, you know, he does all this shit. He looks at the label Crack Cowley's Mad Rat and mouse poison batch number nine nine eight seven. Arsenic trioxide one point five percent. Total arsenic as elemental, all in water soluble from one point one four percent. So it seems like a lot still fucking arsenic is what it is.
It's poison. So they found the bottle in the in the locker there. They didn't you know, they got it right away. They contacted the warehouse manager and they looked at the rental agreement. Who's who rented this? The name on it was Cathy Simmons. That doesn't ring any bells. That doesn't help.
But the address listed for Cathy Simmons was Debbie and Toni Baker's address in Holladay, Texas.
Yeah, the locker was originally rented in February. Twenty first nineteen ninety. So that is four months before all this shit. Wow. And the rent was paid up that time. Paid up for two years. They paid it two years in advance and then they forgot to pay the rent and due on February twenty first. So there he said there was boxes on top of boxes of records and canceled checks in there to wow. All the financial records were in there.
Yeah. So they said they were poking around. They found a plastic bag half full of correspondence mailed to Gerry Stern, Adele, on June 12th, nineteen ninety the day he died. And that's where they found the bottle of arsenic was right there, right with dated things to the day he died.
I mean, that couldn't be any and right up to the end. To the end couldn't be any. He won't need these letters and we don't need this arsenic.
No more storage. There you go. It held eight ounce bottle originally had about six inches of white liquid, but. There was only about one inch of the liquid remaining inside the bottle, so, yeah, they listed it as evidence, they sent it off for fingerprints and everything like that. They said that while they're there, this is the crazy part. While they're at the storage unit for about 30 minutes, they just found the rat poison, the phone, the phone, their rings.
And the manager says, quote, Sorry, lady, it's too late. The police are here now. That's what the manager says on the phone. So they asked the manager. He said, quote, It was the woman who rented the locker. She said she was out of town. She wanted to take care of the past due and rent it for another year. She sounded desperate. She said, let me rush you a cashier's check.
So Simmons just called Avocats Cathy. Also during this investigation, because now they go even deeper. They find three syringes in the plumbing office as well. Oh, no one containing arsenic. So not great. The one containing the arsenic was discovered behind the bread, behind the butter door of the refrigerator.
Second most dangerous thing in that door. Exactly. So May 14th, nineteen ninety three, almost three years after the murder, Deb was finally arrested. Oh, my. Finally Deborah's arrested. Just Deborah. What? Just Deborah.
Because that's who's the storage locker is the only evidence we've got us. That's it. So that's the only solid evidence to connect leading to. Yeah.
So but at this point they're thinking maybe we can get Deborah to flip on Lewen obviously with a murder charge hanging over her. Yeah, but she didn't say shit about shit. She clams up like a fucking mafia soldier. Like she's like John Gotti. Yeah.
Like like she's quiet as a horse, quieter than a church horse, so tied up in a church or tied in a church.
The sheriff said, I don't believe Deborah Baker acted alone. This is what he tells the press. So we believe there's at least one more person involved in the murder. And he said there could be other indictments here. So they have a pretrial hearing. The bond was originally first. It's lowered to one hundred fifty grand. And he she couldn't make bail. Then the bond was lowered to 50 grand and Luján came in balladry.
Oh, God damn it. Who bail her out? Boy, that's fucking that's wild.
You have to think her husband had to know, right? I you know, you don't fit with it with a Lincoln or a new house or a businessman and not have some questions for your wife. Nothing.
Debbie wants to be. Debbie waits here. She's going to be tried for murder. But before they can do that, they have to can handle another problem because she's got another charge against her. Also, that is four bad checks that she wrote. She signed, she wrote on is basically embezzlement. It was she wrote two bad checks in nineteen ninety two totaling thirty two hundred dollars, made out to Redbird Express or a business run by her husband Tony there and Lowenstern Edell.
They that's the truck that's too bad checks to the business, to the business from something else that was a bad deal.
So she agrees to ten years deferred adjudication in return for a guilty plea. So basically don't do anything else wrong and don't worry about it, OK? That's how this works here. Around the checks. Around the checks. Yeah, I don't do any of that shit. So the murder trial starts OK. And oh, boy, this is a this is a trap, man. I mean, the ex-wife is there. The kids are there. You got one person who doesn't show up who and what will end her friend's trial, her and her husband's fucking killers murder trial.
And her friend doesn't show up, I guess. How do you play it? Yeah, I bailed out the murderer, the accused murderer.
So, I mean, they have expert testimony here because this is going to you're going to need experts here.
People don't know shit about arsenic.
Now, by the way, do we remember that her father died with swollen body and all that also? That's right. There's a lot going on. The mother dies suddenly a mysterious illness. This is a thing that she does. I feel like hair. He testifies. This is Dr. Thomas Kirt, that the three quarters amount of arsenic poisoned missing from the bottle would have been enough to make up three lethal doses.
Basically, they said the first dose of poison probably came in a taco salad to Jerry. So then they said they were asking him, like, how would you do that? So this is what this guy says on the stand. And I don't know if this is good or not, but he said it's hilarious. He says this is quote in the court documents, quote, If I were going to kill someone.
Oh, boy, don't do that, sir. This is this is an idea he's giving people. I mix the arsenic with about an ounce of picante sauce and I pour it on. He said, this is wild. He said the hot sauce would disguise the unpleasant, bitter taste and the other ingredients in the rat poison. And so that would work. He said cranberry juice has the same effect because it's very strong tasting and it's bitter anyway. So you take a bitter medicine.
Unfortunately, my wife's allergic to contact, I mean, she hates Mexican food. I don't know what to tell you. So she says that he says that they do that in hospitals to get better tasting medicine down.
So they show in court, they bring out the that goddamn bottle. They plunk it down 20 to they have like a bottle of cran apple juice next to it. It's like poison and cranberry juice like next to each other.
Luanne's lawyer calls a witness to show that Jerry had a volatile nature and that people there was plenty of people who wanted him dead, OK? They call up like his business partner.
And that sort of said his business partner, Gerry Wood, said, quote, He was aggressive. He was a womanizer. So much that's then that goes unquestioned here. Said that Jerry cheated people on business deals and beat his son. Jesus, man.
It gets worse. It gets worse. We were friends. Thanks. Thanks. But he said Jerry Stern, Adele had an affair with his stepdaughter.
Yeah, that's when my wife and I broke off our personal relationship with Jerry and Luann Stern.
Adele, she says, oh, not enough data, not an affair age. We'll put it that way. One witness also here that they brought up was the stepdaughter, Stella. They bring her up. She when she was 17 years old, she left the house there and Dean, where she lived with them. And basically they said, why did you do that? So she didn't want to answer. They go back and forth. And finally they said, was it because of the actions of your stepfather?
She said, yes. And they said, was it because he sexually molested you? And she said, yes, they're fine. Thanks for making me say that in front of a courtroom full of people like Jesus Fuck man on TV.
So Debra started screaming at this point, started yelling and screaming and causing a huge scene. Like she's saying, I don't want anybody to hear that, like, I don't know what the fuck was going on here. So they had to, like, chill out and have a recess and everything. And then they bring in Thomas Bradley, the guy who drank the cranberry juice. And he told us he told about all that kind of shit. He said there was a party in June and all that.
And, you know, they gives the whole story of I drank the thing in the morning. I didn't feel good. It burned shit and shits all over the place. I don't I don't know the exact number of keys, but I shit myself a lot.
There's a lot of shit. Never tried to give me an enema. Yeah. And she was sticking something up my ass. She said it make me feel better. So deliberations come out. They go in here and they come back. We the jury find DeBelin Baker guilty of. Now there's many options here. What they can do, first degree murder. Wow. So they bought it. I mean, they bought the whole thing, the whole murderess.
They beat off the whole horse on that one.
I think it's off as much as that horse. So, I mean, as they announced as Deborah begins letting out high pitched screams and wails and shit, they had to, like, drag her out of the courtroom because she started losing her mind. So sentencing comes around here. This is interesting.
He the they're asking for very different things. The prosecutor is saying that, you know, it's his first degree murder, it's cold blooded. It was in the furtherance to cover up embezzlement. Like this is a twenty years to life type of situation. Twenty to thirty years, something in that neighborhood. Now, the defense, though, has a different approach to it. They said that because the defendant, Deborah Baker's, never been before convicted of a violent felony, she should be eligible for probation under state law.
What I mean, this isn't her second offense or third offenses. He's never been violent before.
I don't understand why we don't just give her another chance, which is crazy. You just got convicted of first degree murder, which is bad, Bill.
That's still the only one we usually don't give a second chance on. Like I know multiple people have gone to prison for DUI is where no one was hurt. This is first degree fucking murder. Murder. This is like on purpose and in further. Wow, that's wild. That's something that's something crazy.
So we think she deserves revenge. We think I mean, you know, as her attorney, I assure you, I'm. I assume you do. Yeah. I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you? So now Jeannie in her book says, quote, As the jurors walk back into the courtroom for the sentencing, I instantly notice three members walking with their heads down. That doesn't look like a good sign. That heads down is means they're guilty in her mind here.
The judge asked the jurors, you know what it is here. They stood up and they said, OK, you, ma'am, may fuck off.
Ten years, ten years probation.
Not got it. Ten years probation, not ten years in prison, which would be ridiculous for first degree murder. Murder, first degree, first degree murder, ten years, 10 years in prison would be like, Jesus, talk about getting off right, 10 years probation. You had your fucking mind.
She's a piece of shit. Gemzar set in the duesler. They're set in the deuce, Luce. She's lucky as a horse. This is unbelievable. She had a horseshoe up her ass, I would say. So she's got a dog show up her ass. So I. And a ten thousand dollar fine. Big deal.
Should ten years probation. Unbelievable. I don't even know what to say. I thought this was Texas. They love killing people. I've known people who got like a little bit of like drugs in there. What the fuck was it?
Was it the child molestation that made the jury just really hate him?
They brought up a lot of things of why Jerry was a bad guy. Yeah. And so whatever bitch beat his character into the I guess. But either way, if she just if she killed him because he's a bad guy and he was doing bad things to her, that would be something. Yeah. But she stole from him. Yeah. And then covered it up by killing him. That's a totally different scenario here.
It's fucking crazy. So obviously the reaction to the sentence is interesting. Yeah. I mean, the district attorney says, you know, quote, It was a case that wasn't the strongest on the evidence. It was a circumstantial case. So we were pleased that we got the conviction, but not so happy with the punishment the jury assessed. Yeah. He says, quote, This is a betrayal of the worst kind. She pretended to nurse him in the hospital and pretended she was concerned for his welfare as she fed him arsenic in his drink.
Yeah, all true. Yeah, this is bad shit. This is not a good person, by the way, is never, ever going to get fucking arrested for this, too.
I love that she involved in this. Well, they said that she was a suspect in the case. There wasn't enough evidence against her because the storage unit was rented to Debra. When we got the outcome in Deborah's case, we that we did in the Baker case, we didn't go forward with any case on the wife because it would have been probably the same or maybe a worse result. Wow.
So we just such a fucking community service instead.
I mean, she would have got like a reward. They would have given her like some sort of key to the city. I'm not sure her own. I don't know. So obviously multiple members of the family are awfully pissed off. The Debbie says are Becky says the daughter of the criminal justice system in Texas has failed our family since nineteen ninety. She believes the was involved in the murder and wants her to be brought to justice. The only justice she was brought to and this is just living in Texas.
She got two speeding tickets in December. Nineteen ninety two as second. That's the only justice I can find. What what I think happened honestly was this is like to me this seems like a mafia situation. This is like when John Gotti killed the guy who who kidnaped Carlo Gambino, his nephew, he was going to go to jail. And basically he was told, do the time, we'll get you. They got him a great lawyer, do the time.
And when you get out, we'll take care of you when you're getting taken care of because you're doing something special for everybody. Everything's going to be fine for you. I feel like that's what Luanne is doing here. She's like, you know, you go do your time has to be right. Because otherwise, Deborah, wouldn't she never flipped, man.
That's she's she's a steel trap. She really is. It's wild. I mean, she kind of. It's crazy, man. So this case was covered in nineteen ninety five during this time period right after the trial, like A Current Affair, because Jeannie got them in on it. Jeannie called them up to because she wanted the man to get arrested. So she was trying to get publicity. Twenty three comes around. OK, so this is what she got.
Ten years probation in nineteen ninety four. Right. So she's a year shy of her probation ending here, Deborah, to be scot fucking free.
Yeah, to be scot free. Well in 2003 they find a new arrest here, another arrest, nothing violent. They found out on April twenty fourth, nineteen ninety nine in Hays County, Texas.
She knowingly and unlawfully appropriated property merchandise to the value of twenty dollars or more, but less than five hundred dollars from Atena. Right. The owner of the property, without effective consent of the owner and with intent to deprive the owner of said property, she issued a bad check.
Bad check. That's a lot of words to say. She wrote a that's what I was getting at. Sounds like theft. That's what I was getting at. I was like, it sounds like she knocked her over the head and took something. She wrote about check for this check was for sixty five dollars and ninety six cents. Oh boy. One check. Sixty five dollars. Ninety six cents. Keep that in mind here. So the state introduced evidence of a certified copy of the complaint and information by the theft of the check.
And this whole deal, they really they treated this shit like it was another murder trial.
They were they got fingerprint people in on the literally they have fingerprint witnesses. They finger. An expert as a witness, he testified that the fingerprint on the deferred adjudication order and the theft of the check case belonged to Baker, and then Baker testified herself and said that she was the same person who had also had another check charge back then that was on there. So the state argues that the evidence clearly established that she committed the theft on purpose while she's on probation.
And so the court revoked her probation. Suck it. And she she pleads nolo contendere instead of guilty here, that this plea has the same effect as a guilty plea, except does not constitute an admission in a civil suit arising from the offense. So that wouldn't be a full guilty plea in a civil suit. You're pretty much just fucked yourself, whereas this is a very specific legal one, not a civil one. OK, so the sentencing comes around.
And following the hearing here, the trial court finds that that she violated terms A I and M of her probation. Don't forget about it. And a lot of it's a lot of Wall Street all the way down there.
And they say, you, ma'am, may fuck off nine years and three hundred and sixty days in prison for five days, short of 10 years in prison for sixty five bucks and a ten thousand dollar fine for a sixty five dollar check. I take checks more serious than murder. Suck it up.
That's fucking amazing how it's like that was OJs Heisman. Right.
That's exactly what that was. They banged her for that part. I said we're getting it for every fucking day and it's literally minus the five days she was awaiting back. That's her time spent. That's her time served. So it's ten years minus five days. Wow. Nine years. Three hundred and sixty days.
Succot, they keep track of shit on appeal. She raises a couple of things and like, get the fuck out of here. They said the court abused its discretion by revoking her probation or shut up.
Yeah. In 2000, during while she's in prison, she was on an episode of Snapped, obviously, as it's, you know, may as well exploit that. Exactly. It's exactly how it feels. And some people have said they don't get that from snapped. Might just be me, but I get it feels gross. It feels and I don't know if it's because I'm a guy, so I'm trying not to be like misogynistic and shit. So when I hear things that feel like like it makes me uncomfortable.
Some of the shit they say they're like her raging sex drive forced her to commit murder so she could have more pain center.
They say shit like that, like you're like, wow, good Lord. What who wrote this, Tom? Like, right. You're going to say fuck is going on here. Who wrote this?
Why are Rush Limbaugh and Tom, like is making what the hell is Sean Hannity making a TV show for?
So about this a true crime show. So the book here is called Fighting the Devil.
And it's that's Genie Walker is the author. That's the ex-wife. She's fighting against Lohan. I guess she's the devil.
Either way, whatever the devil come to your own conclusion, pick a devil, any devil. So Jerry is buried at Crestview Memorial Park in Wichita, June 20th, 2013. Debbie is released from prison. And yeah, there she is. And from what I found, I haven't found any more arrests for her. She's been living pretty quietly.
And I mean, you could be you could make a case that she's obviously has some other shit that she's. Yeah, I mean, there there was some she's a bad person.
I mean, good God, there's got to be I mean, allegedly and all that type of shit. There's her mother, her father. There's other people. Just how long does arsenic take to dissipate in your system after you're dead and your bones and stuff after twenty years? Yes. They should consume those fucking bodies.
They can do that. It depends on the level of whatever. But they in the homicide book, they do that they exhume people to because this lady poisoned them and they find shit. They find poisoned the people that she put arsenic in some guy's tuna sandwich and they found it after many, many years. Ten years later. I wish they could find it and I wish they would. I hate to disturb somebody's fucking.
Yes, obviously, especially for 50 years ago. But we can put the forty five years child in jail for killing them. That'd be great. It's pretty fucked up. I don't know if you can do it for forty five years later, but I hope so.
Yeah. Something at least. But anyway, that is Dean, Texas. That's a hell of a case to say there. That's, that's wild. That'll wild dogs couldn't drag me away from that case.
Jimmy really beat that case today. We really did. We really did beat it like a dead dog. Yeah. So never look a gift dog in the mouth. Never.
It's the worst thing you could do if you enjoyed that. Tell us all about it. Give us your own horse phrase is your own horse idioms. Make it up. Tell us all about it. Get on Apple podcast that. Purple icon and tell us how you feel. It really does help, it helps drive us up the charts. We have no idea why, but it does.
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Get on. Follow us on social media. We're at murder small on Twitter, at small town pot on Facebook and at small town murder on Instagram as well on cooking. And it's cooking hard. You betcha. The last Patriot episode for Crime for small town murder was Old West murders, which were awesome. When you go through Old West newspapers and I found all these crazy ass murders of old cowboys. Oh, there's some nutty shit going on back then and it really ties into this.
So perfect. You're allowed to murder here if they didn't care. Yeah, it was a bad habit all the time.
So there's that. And then the next episode is going to be this insanity that happened in Oregon. Whenever we do like like a just a little murder case for a bonus, just know that that means it's insane. It's so crazy that I'm like, it's not long enough for a regular episode, but it needs to be told. Right. So that's kind of what it is there. Do all that the crime and sports episodes we have the last one was worst wrestling characters of all time, which was so much fun.
And then the next one is going to be on Danny Almonte, that the Little League kid who everyone said, oh, my God, he's amazing. And he pitches like he's sixteen. And then they're like, holy shit, he's 16 or whatever. He was too old to play Little League. So it's like a like a thirty five year old. Amazing.
But it turns out he's playing AA for the goddamn Orioles. So check all that out. That's patrie on dotcom slash crime in sports. Anybody over the five dollar level gets all of that. The whole back catalog, everything like that is on there. Enjoy all of that. And in addition to that, you are going to get you're a producer, so you're going to get a shout out at the end of the show and Jimmy will mispronounce your name, even though he tries as hard as he can to get it right.
Doing my best. So we'll do all that. Patrick, on dotcom crime and sports, or if you just want to be a good person, nice person and a producer who will also get your name mispronounced, you can do that very easily over at PayPal using our email address, crime and sports at Gmail, dot com. And Jimmy, that said, I think it's time I think it's time to hear the list of my favorite people, people who would never, ever give us a taco salad laced with arsenic picante sauce because they like us so much, hate me with the names of these wonderful people right now.
This week's executive producers are Ben Fairclough, Karen Elgan, Tracy Mitchell, Jordan Bennett, Liz Vasquez, Mandy Peterson, Debbie Rowe.
These people, they're all just so sweet and believe that Vanya Ventor, Melissa Turner, Joanne A'Hearn, Britton, Edwards in Atlanta, Josh Denton's wife or girlfriend, Becca, I think it's his wife. Her name's Becca. She's having a birthday. And your bags, you're going on a trip. Oh, congratulations.
You won the you won the trip a showdown and say did Gareth Locke.
He runs a small town murder group on Facebook. Thank you, Gary. Thank you. I think it's I think it's his birthday, too. No, it's not. It is.
No, happy birthday. Possibly do if not, save it. Put in your pocket for one birthday. It's still a big deal to him. Cassandra Thomson and Michael Faran are foreign. I don't know. Thank you guys truly for everything. Do other producers this week are Craig Ventura, Sarah Pixie de Leon, Sonny, Sonny Hansen, Brendan Abels, Shannon, Colorado. That's my fucking cousin Shannon. Thank you very much. She was she's just grateful that everybody bought cookies from from Lucy.
The Girl Scout cookies were a big deal.
Thank you guys for oils from her yesterday. Thank you for your helping. Send Lucy to New York. Thank you, guys. Yes, the producers are continuing our Thomas Smith, froggy friend Meg Megalo Go Levitch. Oh, yeah. You know you know her. Eileen Merriman. David Corba, Corba. Charles Nope. That's Carl Kershner. I put a fucking Humalog. How did I do? Entombment. That's not his name is spelt. I did it last week.
Do Corporal Julie Romanski, Shery Bird, Mellissa Allen in L.A., thank you. Melissa James Marter. Elizabeth Kesa VCA Columbus. Because of Visa. I'm never going to do this right. Cyndi Welkin, Peyton Meadows Dorfmann. Dustin Martin's wife Danny had a birthday. Happy birthday. Happy. South Lake Charles Richardson, Mandy Peterson, Jessica Finch, Troy Moriarty, Ashley VO, Zachary Bunyah, Jason C. is looking for a pen pal, Shelley Roberts, Parker Bromet, Susie Sunshine, Ethan Moore, Derek Pearson, Randy Lofton, Brendan Brendan, Brendan Bower, goddammit.
Tracy Lozada from The Dark Vodcast. William Lee, Noelle Corey fucking Esperia, you're on a roll. I was trying Tommy Howard and Amber. You glow, you glow. Jimmy, you doing my best, you glow. Damn it. I really am. Aaron Browning, Stephen Charles, Don Kelly with Amber.
It was Amber.
I got Don Kelly, Bella La Ganzi, Susan Judy. Lindsy dat dat kepi. What that can't dat ko.
I still don't know for sure but and I typed that whatever that is I typed it.
No it was my damn chicken scratch off.
Fuck this is Roman Fyans. Whatever Steve Jobs in your goddamn script. Ina Zuna, David Cox. Kristen Roberts Kurdt writer. Atima Brandon Katka one Katcher. Maya acromion. Brandon Coleman also Jazy danger. Brandon No that's Bruce. Bruce Millas. No that's Mills' fucking Bruce Willis ruined my day. Oh thank God. As well as your brother Bova. The murders therapist murderers therapist Cindy Banks, Janine Welch say again, they said they all need one.
So that's true. Janine Welch, Tracy with no last name. Sheila Evans, Cheyenne Ogden, Jay Kelly, Robert Cohen, Eilleen D, Mike Maddox, Janice Lynn, Kristen Brawl, Madison Gilbert, Erika Simmons, Kate Mailman, Allen one. Dustin Lewis, Steven Steve Johnston. Lovely Ocean. Steve, what about Wallace Brown. What about while driving. That's what it is. Yeah I'm going to buy was driving Wallace.
That's where Wallace if you have of Steve Bunker, the golf dog, John Boland of Joan Hutton, Libby's uncle Evan Greig, Courtney Thompson, Jordan Vargus Jordan. Nope, that's Jason Bunting, Angel Bautista, Steve Raoh, John Harris, Chrissy Coomber, Nathan, Nathaniel Dalton, Nathan only Mike Carpenter and Donna Pearson. Zach Holmes. I think it's Zach Holmes. That Holmes the night sage. Amy Amy Burger. Is that a J.
That's an H Kielburger. God damn it Jimmy. How did I how do you do it. How are you Bobby Ju. Berger over there. They make the best ju burgers this side of the Mississippi. I'll tell you what did. Look, it couldn't be funnier if I planned it like that of the berries. Ryan Booth, Eve Tatum, the Cat Simmons, Joseph Williams, Emily Cuba. Ryan Confluent. Lee Pressmen. Christopher Weber, Kyle Dombroski, Nicholas Collins.
Mickey Berríos. Kelly Preston. Probably not. She's dead. Jean and Angie, right? Definitely not. Jean and Angie. Vander Creek. Tia Nicole McKinley. Nicole. Nope, that's Kevin Barnham, Kaitlyn Hawk, Shelby Busher. And somehow there's an lot there. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't know if I knew what buttons.
Jimmy, I don't know if you're struggling to find the lot. I can't help you because I have no fucking idea what I'm doing wrong or right. Either way, you found out, Jimmy, that's where you found it. I don't know what language. I don't know what German keyboard you got from Austria or some shit, but you have I don't know what the fuck. Savani like me at five.
I think that's a podcast. Probably opened my podcast. I'm not sure zero tolerance, but that might be a podcast, although I have no fucking idea what these Megan Petty that might be a podcast. Danielle Thibeault cake with no last name. Timothy Lemons, sunshine with no last name. Steven Anderson. Matthew Stenciled Touchstone. William Routledge Wetly with no last name. Pressley Anderson Kim McAnn Gary, Dwight Bonnar, Brandy Davis, Dominique White and Marie with no last name.
Angela Turlock. Jeffery Gabler. Brad Garrett Singer. Wayne Hill, Casey Dreya, Charles Chatman, Diane, Diane, Nera and Evangelia. I'm the most uncultured fuck Charles Moore with no way that is the last name. Oh guys, the Yankees shut Taylor White lendee Michelet Peter Salvador Trent Cheetah Jaylene. Nope, that's Jolene Navon, Evan Pasko and Unica Jackson, Victoria Burgher Hunter Atkins'. Erica Kinder Kinder. RJ with no last name can go. Stelly Gastly.
Shannon Callon Brian Tyler. Candice Tayeh. Earl Night. Amy Berhe. Katie with no last name. Jacob Smith. Emily Youngblood. Greg would no last name. Victor Sanchez. Sarah Sunshine Short. William Willy Williams. Wow. Well yes. On that stag stag. Jenna Gorg. Latoya Thomas. Jessica Smith. Sounds pretty easy. Lindsay Whitter. Caleb works. Jana Pittman, Ashley with no last name. Jennifer Sargeant. Taylor Sinclair, Atlanta's Talbot shiny downwardly mobile.
Yeah I know it's Vandeman signee.
They leave Derek excrement. Oh that's brutal. James Forsett, Aaron Esposito. Leslie Marshall. Rachel Wood. No last name. Alexandra Dahlby. Drew acromion. What the fuck. Those are brothers. I'm sure of it. And that is a I am so sorry for your childhood. Patrick Thacker, Earl Knight, Mackenzie Idy I think Susan Moore, Neal Lane, Gina Matzke, Christian Westwood, Stephanie Bruno Aleesha would no last name also Ryan would no last name.
Sarah Elizabeth Hornberger. Bobby Porter. Cynthia Brattain, Britain maybe Bertan Ashford. No last name. Katie Karith. Daniel Peterson. Trista Williams. Nancy CollabNet. Tommy Johns. Pam would no last name. Max the London barrister. Yeah. The wig and all. What's a barrister. What is that little boy. Am I stupid. OK, well you go all right. He wears a wig too. Good for you Max.
Hello barrister man. You gave us money fucking laughs Yeah. He's a good man. He's a great person. I don't know.
And and and and Mike Kading, Michael Keating, Keating, Patrick Cook, Aaron Cooper, Virginia with no last name, Chelsea Barker, Renagel and Todd Vill coy. They'll cough, they'll call. That's it. Alison Jenkins, Dustin Webb, Connor Crawford. Jay Anderson, donut maker. What the fuck, Margaret. Yeah, but it's no like. Like Homer. Like yes. And then not make her. Oh I don't make I don't want to know what that is.
Just indulge me.
I'm just me. Margaret Bovo Dancy Dusty with no last name. I'm a butler. And Mark Alexander. Alexandra Johnson. Jack. How far off. Anderson. Aaron is that Aaron. Anderson, make me ask you this, though. Do you think it makes it rise fluffier because that the baby Jesus, if you whip it, it does get fluffier? Is it like a meringue then? You know, you hold the ball upside down over your head and make sure why I'm so grossed out?
It's a meringue, everyone. Yeah, lovely. Try that for Christmas this year. Put that on a fire. Everyone, I'm surprised I'm going to throw a lot because it took me a lot of work. I have no idea every couple the hours and hours of exercise to eat this fucking fire. I'm going to bed. I've been slaving over this. Come in so long. Oh, really? All right.
Anderson, Aaron or Aaron, Anderson, Toby, Toby Ferguson, Rosalind Ryan, Elizabeth Flanagan, Brian Lond. Elliot. Nope, that's Glenn, not Alan Hillman. Bilinga Bingo. Lync fucker.
What a super super duper pooper.
Good for you. Yeah. Tom is no last name. Avery with no last name. James McGoldrick, blasphemous JP Brendan Kennedy, Chelsea BOEM Nicholas Montgomery, Chris Clark, Douglas Coates, Amy Wright. Clem Vaccaro. Georgia would no last name. Ronald what. Ronald Dankest.
I can't cry like that. Can't be absolutely fucked that up. Lauren Hall when that's the last name all Carrie Evans, Chris Barkley, Corey Cyphers and Ashley Birlik and also all of our patrons. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much, everybody, honestly, for everything. We hope you enjoyed this show on the live show. If you saw it then or if you didn't see it, then I hope you enjoyed it this time. And this was just a crazy story that needed to be told this story. Fucking intense, so I hope you enjoyed that and I hope you're going to keep enjoying it every week. And what if people wanted to enjoy you, Jimmy?
How did they find you? You won't, but you can find me at Wassmann Suk's WAGA, Semillon Suk's on Twitter and Instagram. It's been an unbelievable ride and I can't thank you guys enough. Where can they find you?
You can find me at Jimmy P is funny or just copy and paste my name from the show description and do it that way because it's probably easier or you know how to find people on the Internet. We have to tell them how to find us there.
You put it in and the stands are unnecessary unless you're figuring out a laptop and Jimmy doesn't know to use two fingers to scroll.
I just learned that he uses an array is a 100 year old man. The arrow doesn't work out. Why did you do this? Apple? This thing's a piece of shit. No, it's not, Jimmy. There's an amazing thing that we just created for you to finger and insane how cool it is. It's not new. Know, it's definitely not older than that. I think it's like five years old, that particular model, coolest fucking thing.
And then you swipe the fucking mousepad, James, and the window moves that I learned all the tools of my mouth.
Oh, God, this is hilarious. I love this so much. We're going to go and talk more about Apple mousepads and the joy and the wonders of the modern technology of these things. My goodness. And then after that, we're going to have some Metamucil, not just in front of Matlock on the television. So that's, as I said, everybody until next week. It's been our pleasure, Van.