Smart. Bless.

Guys, what.

A day. Listen, I'm going to be the first to wish you Happy Christmas Eve.

Morn. Yeah, Happy Christmas Eve. Morn to you guys too.

What are you guys going to do tonight? You know what we're going to do? We're all going to see each other, I think.

Yeah. Christmas Eve. Now, I'm thinking.

About- No, not me. I'm not going to see you guys tonight because I'm not with you guys right now.

Oh, well, that's okay.

We'll just zoom you in. We're going to zoom in. Let's make this a little our little family tradition that no matter what, we do a little Zoom session with our fans and stuff.

Yeah, I would love that.

Let's do it.

Do you guys have an ugly Christmas sweater? I went to an ugly Christmas sweater party once, and I went on Etsy and bought one for like, freaking $300. It plugs into a battery pack and everything. It's got lights and stuff on it. Really? Yeah, I might dust that thing off and break it out.

I'm not a big fan of the ugly Christmas sweater thing, but I will say this. I do own one that somebody had made for me.

It's really nice. That's just a sweater.

And it says, Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. But like in nice Christmasy letters. I swear to God, it's really cute. Speaking of sweaters, by the way, it's Christmas Eve. It is Christmas Eve. And I do want to say this. My mom has been asking me a lot about the sweaters that she knitted for both you guys.

She knitted me a real fetching vest.

Yes, and she wants photos. Will you guys do me a favor? We'll make her Christmas morning if I can tomorrow morning, show her a picture from each of you just.

Wearing the sweater. Do you think I'm going to give your mother a picture of me in a sweater vest so she can go off and do her mad posting like she's so known for? Mad posting. I get her social media profile on her.

She's not posting anywhere. Crazy. She wants to see. She spent weeks knit those sweaters for you guys.

I'll totally do that. Wait, do you guys open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas?

Christmas. We'll do one on Christmas Eve.

But we're- Really? Just to release the valve.

A little bit? A little bit for the kids, yeah.

Yeah, we don't.

Do that. But we'll do Christmas morning. And it's just a matter of tomorrow morning it's going to be, especially the littles, keeping them.

From just- We just want to be able to get past 8:30 in the morning without all the gifts unwrapped and like, Well, now what do we do? I know, I know. I know. We just stretch it out a.

Little bit. Yeah, and watch TV. It's just another day. It ends up being just another day.

Just another day to watch TV. It's like when Sean, every time Sean buys a new house, it's just another place to watch TV.

It is really true. I mean, any link I've or I've ever seen of any piece of real estate, it's always like, where's the TV room?

Yeah, I know.

That's it. Where would I.

Be watching? It's like when we're on tour. Remember, every time we go into any hotel, Jason would find the couch that was perpendicular to the TV. You have the remote, and he's like, This is my spot.

Well, you know what? On Christmas, you can do whatever you want. Christmas is such a magical time of the year, and I feel really blessed that we got our guests who we got today. We do have somebody here who knows a thing or two about Christmas. This is somebody who lives way up north in the northernmost part of the- Wait a second. -is the North Pole. We are so lucky, without further ado, you guys, it's Santa Claus.

What? Wait, what? We're talking to Santa Claus? Is that a.

Real Santa? Santa? Santa, this is- So you're just resting up before... Are you smoking a butt? I'm smoking.

How are you guys? Listen, I don't have a lot of time, all right?

And he's Persian.

No, I'm not What are you talking about? St. Nicholas. I'm a Serbian. I'm Serbian. I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking Santa Claus is American, English, whatever. Look in the history books. It's always been Serbian.

St. Nicky.

St.

Nicholas. St. Nikolai.

He's Serbian. Framdini, Nicholas, Light of Tree. We had families from Belgrade, and it's always been Serbian. But look, I don't have a lot of fucking time, man.

Oh, my God. Is it true that your slave used to get pulled by goats then.

Instead of reinsear? That's when we, early days, that's all we had. And then my fifth cousin, he said, What about the reinsear? And Just.

Off the.

Top of his head. We're like, Sure, we can eat them. He's like, No, no, no, they can fly. And I said, Shut up. Shut up.

Why do you have reading glasses on? You're not reading anything.

I don't... Look, do you know how old I am? Every day I wake up in a bowl of pain, okay? And I can't see four feet in front of my face.

So, you've got a hell of a night.

Look, you're wearing glasses.

You've got a hell of a night ahead of you.

I mean, this is your day. This is your biggest day of the year, right, Sanny?

What question is that? Well, here comes. It's the only day of the year that counts. Let me tell you something. The strike fucked us, okay? Because here's what happened. You guys, you do your strikes and everyone loves Hollywood, and then the elves start.

Getting ideas. Oh, you guys.

The elves tried to organize.

Elves totally organized. And look, I can't do what I do without the Elves. There's no question. Okay, so I respect them.

Sure. But be honest.

But be honest. What else is an Elf going to do? They don't have any other job skills.

Well, they could do stand-in work for young actors.

I guess. Wait, Santa, are you willing to go on record? Did Fredd Dresher get to the Elves?

You know what? I dropped my cigarette.

I think it's in your beard.

You're on fire, Santa. That is a dirty word in our household, Fran Dresher. She got them all riled up. And then next thing you know... Okay, so-.

Here we go.

We're going to smoke them. It's always been standard. They get like four sugar plums. They wanted a break. They wanted standardized working hours. They wanted to instead of a 22 hour day, they wanted 21.

Are they concerned about AI at all?

Well, AI is. It's here to stay.

Yeah.

Right. So you've.

Got a log starter to- Wow.

When did you start smoking?

I got to tell you that not until the last 10 years, because you know what the number one gift now is?

What's that?

High-end mattresses. Yes, Nectar. So I got to load mattresses. Oh, boy.

That takes up a lot of.

Space on the. It goes anything from PAW Patrol and Bluey. And then the number three is mattresses. Everyone's lists they want a high-end mattress. I'm like, fine, but do you realize how much time?

I can only imagine.

I'm cramming mattresses through door. I'm busting up windows. I'm tearing through French doors, anything to get the mattress in.

Because they don't go down the chimney. Only you go down the chimney, right? You can't roll them up and put them down there like that.

Yes. And what's crazy is a lot of mattress guys, they won't do flights of stairs. They get to the house, they're like, no, we don't.

And the else won't for sure. So I've got three mattresses strapped my back, and I am this close to calling it.

No. Yes. Wait.

You might call it quip.

This.

Could be the last year.

There's a very good chance.

Well, do you do any -.

Unless they revolutionize the mattress.

What if you just bring a bunch of yoga mats? You think people will go for that instead? I guess. Guess. Now, you do any any carbo-loading today and get ready for the.

Big By the way, I don't want a ton of... I don't want a ton of of to the North Pole telling me that elves can't do anything but work on toys and build mattresses. Okay, I don't want to hear about it.

Noted.

Okay. We'll reinforce that afterwards.

Santa, how do you spend your time after you deliver all the toys and the gifts and everything? What's your down to?

To? You have like Hold on. Real quick. Hold on. I need to pay the bills.

I'm sorry. Oh, here comes an ad.

There's There's DNA, there's heavy duty DNA. Dna. H. It's what every every GMC Sierra H.

Is for.

Unbelievable. And it's engineered into every aspect of the the GMC Sierra H. With the pulling power to prove prove it. Hitches of the world. Prepare for glory.

Prepare for glory.

Glory. Wait. Do you endorse... You work for GMC?

Yes, I work.

For GMC. And guess who doesn't? Do you? Not anymore. I guess not.

Do you? Yeah, after that raid.

Yeah. Is that a GMC slay that you're rocking?

Did I get a thumbs up from your audio team? Do you think think that? Yeah. Was good?

It.

Came through just perfect. Perfect. We got to get it through. It came through Guys, is it clean?

Bennett is super clean.

Came through perfect.

Great. Thank you. You.

Now, had a great question. My question is, do you have any prep that you do to get ready for tonight as far as stretching out or eating a bunch of carbs? And then Sean wanted to know, what do you do to relax after your big night? Do you have a a spa tomorrow?

I'll definitely do a court lunch tomorrow. Do a.

Court lunch. That's just right there outside the house up north?

Mostly, I just have a lot of lists. I have a lot of of coordinates I have to figure out... Jason, I don't know if you know, I have to do the whole world in one night. Night. Got to get my ducks in a row. In fact, it's unbelievable that I'm talking to you right now.

Now. Really appreciate the time. Do you ever wear anything else besides that outfit? Or is that the outfit you wear every.

Single day? Sean, I have to tell you something. I don't know the other two so much, but you, my friend, you are very talented. Growing up in Serbia as a young man, we only had two channels, and we loved you in Three's Three's company. What you did, that was a very subversive show. We knew all the things you guys were saying.

Saying. Sure.

And the commentary on American propaganda and consumerism and the fact that Jack was a spy for the US government. Anyway, thank you. You.

Well, you for getting it. Thank you for.

Getting it, Andy. Right, and everything everything I remember the the song. The kisses are hers and his and hers. Hers. Yes. It, Right. Yes. That was very racy for Serbia, wasn't it?

That was good shit.

Hey, have you ever seen the film Elf? I've always wondered that. Have you ever seen that?

I don't like any of the Christmas Christmas movies. I haven't seen that.

You should try that one. That one is very, very good.

The one I I and I absolutely loved was a Diva's Christmas Carol starring Diana Ross. That one is the most realistic one I've seen.

So.

Far. Excuse me for laughing. I'm not laughing. But Diana Ross, she can sing.

Yep.

But, boy, can she act.

Okay, well, we'll we'll.

Have check that out.

We'll download that one. Yeah, please do. If you're.

Going to see one- What's it called again?

A Diva's Christmas Christmas Diana Ross. Sure.

A Diva's Christmas Carol.

Okay.

So you don't care for any of the actors who have portrayed you in films like the-.

No, because it's all crap. It's all bullshit. You would think someone would get on a Zoom with me and say, Hey, what's it really like? But no, whatever. I don't have time.

To talk about this. I know you don't have have time. Me just ask you really quick because I know you do have to go, what are you going to go do? What What you do to go and relapse your cold plunge? What do you do to let the release valve?

Do you and the Mrs. Santa Claus, you guys do anything to just just take.

It We have a timeshare in Boca.

So we'll do that.

But seriously, I say don't look at me me St. Patrick's Day.

Okay, that's exact.

Don't even look at me. You're a wreck. I'm a wreck. I'm an absolute wreck.

Do you have kids?

No, we never got around to it. We never got around to it.

How many many do you get through on the.

National team? I go through. This is on my wish list, list, and I go through. It must.

Be difficult to get those things fired up once you're up there on the slay.

Slay. Once you're at high altitude. And that's when I get that nicotine withdrawal right around Southeast Asia.

You just go right to the patch.

That's a real kick in the pants. Yes, the fat or the gum. Or the gum, but the gum will get caught in the beard.

You sound a little like Will Will now that you're older and you're smoking more.

Well, it has an effect on the vocal cords.

How.

Old were you when your beard turned white?

19. That's tough. 19.

Who are the naughtiest kids? Kids? Just area of the world do you find the naughtiest kids?

I'll give you the names right now. Brian Carter, Patrick Patrick Jerry Hampton, Tom Robinson, Alexander Alexander Alexander Alexander nails.

So.

They're getting, what they get?

Coach John Malcolm.

Do they really get get or is that just a wife's tale?

They get get I can't find coal as easily as... And it's no one wants- wants-.

The they got rid of all the coal.

With the mattress, it weighs down the slay and et cetera. Understood. So you know what I find that they were really bummed out about fruit? I give them them Give them a pineapple or a comquot.

Overly ripe or not ripe at at It.

Can't be- Or a lemon. And sometimes if I put a little inscription on note, a lemon and I I Suck it.

Just to personalize personalize Yeah. What's the dumbest letter you ever got? Do you remember any of your dumb letters?

The dumbest letter I ever got was from Jimmy Carter's brother, brother, Carter. He wanted...

He.

Was already in his cots. What did Billy want?

I don't even remember what it was, but I just remember thinking, guys are jackass.

Clearly banged up.

It proved to be true.

And having no kids of yourself and having only to deal with them all these years, do you still love kids? Do you still love being around them? Do you look forward to this year?

Look, I come off like I'm in a bad mood. I love kids. I do. The kids are why I come back to it. Because for the most part, the kids, they are the future, right?

Right.

Yes.

I guess so. It feels like you're just quoting a Whitney Huston song.

All the kids are the future. And if if get all the kids to hold hands around the world and sing a song in in harmony. Oh, boy. A better place this would would be, This is a.

Coca-cola ad.

If we could get animated polar bears along with kids. Oh, my God.

This is a Coca-Cola.

And if the polar bear drank a bottle of.

Pop.

How easy would that be?

What are you making in endorsements pre-tax? What are you pulling pulling into gross, would you estimate? If If I know.

Talking talking euros?

Is fine. We'll take it in.

Pre-tax?

Pre-tax.

Well, the Serbian tax system is... I'm making about 47 million.

Forty-seven million euros. Euros.

You have a lot of trouble finding things to spend that on up north.

I'm about to buy Chelsea. Chelsea, a.

Soccer club.

Chelsea Football Club? Yeah, I got a bid in. So here's the thing. If that goes.

Through.

I'm done.

You're done with Christmas.

I'm done with Christmas. You hand over the gig to who? To the misses?

I'll hand it over to... I don't care. I'll hand it over to you three jokers.

Can you make make this If that ends up happening, I know it's in the the and you don't want to talk too much about it because it's still in the works right now. Yeah, I can't. I really can't. You can't say too much. But maybe just ask you this. If you retain control of Chelsea Football Club, will you try to get American American Christian, back on the squad?

That will be my first move.

That's your first move? Move? Oh, I knew.

Wait, Santa, I want to to what does somebody get you as a gift? Like the guy who has everything.

What would be on your list? Obviously, I'm never going to say no to parliaments. I like a comfortable walking walking like Clarks or Johnstans. Johnstans. I've I've Oh, gosh. What's What's I should know this.

How about the shoes that you don't have to reach down to put on? On? Do you just step Sketchers?

The Sketcher.

Those work for you?

I love a good good yeah. There There may I can't say anything, but fingers crossed there may be a Sketchers collab with Snoop.

In the future.

With you and-.

Me and and Nicholas. Nicholas. And Snoop.

Wow.

Yeah. Wow. Huh. So we're making news. Is that okay to report that?

That's okay. That's okay. That's like we're on the five-yard line on that one.

Okay, got you. All right. So, Santa, again, before we let you go, what are you looking at? What are you looking to to be wheels.

Wheel's up. We've got to to Oh, God. Let me see. What's that? Yeah. No, I know.

What.

Happened? No, just my chief navigator says that the Icelandic volcano erupted again, so we're going to have to go around.

Oh, you have to to circumvent.

Okay. We'll probably have to leave three o'clock my time 3:00 PM.

3:00 PM, your time.

Here's another secret. In order to deliver all the toys in time, I have to do some of it in daylight. And it's just, wow.

Oh, the kids must.

Hate that. And the kids sometimes sometimes see me, I have to threaten them. I'm like, don't tell anyone or you won't get another gift.

Oh, so kids have seen you, but the reason it hasn't come out is because you've threatened that they'll never.

Get another gift. Gift. I've threatened I also have their little memory wiper from from N. Back. That little.

Little That started with you, huh?

I have that. Yeah, I have that.

I.

Have that.

I love that you're Serbian. I can't wait to spread that around.

Are you spending a lot of time back in Belgrade these days?

Well, look, it's not a safe.

Place to be. It's still pretty hot. Okay, sure.

Yeah, it's hot. I have to roll heavy when I go to Belgrade. The The Elves sweet. Yes, they thought they are well well trained.

Know.

How to handle themselves. They sure. Yes.

Sure. Do you know.

Personally- But we'll stop. We'll go to Belgrade. We'll go to Nobu, and we'll say hi to people. We'll do all the usual places.

Maybe have a meal with with Nowak, Jokevage, or- Maybe with.

The joker. Yeah, sure. Some of Elie Nestase's family.

No kidding.

He's Romanian.

But he spends time in-.

He comes over for the shops.

Yeah.

He loves the shopping.

Okay, well, Santa, listen again, obviously it's a really busy day. Is there any message that you want to leave our listener with, or the kids of the world just on this.

Epic thing? I think I said it. I want all the kids to hold hands around the the and sing a song Peace and Joy and Harmony.

All right.

Brought to us by who?

By Cook. Cook Zero. The new Cook Zero. The new Cook Zero, it might might be, I'm not just saying saying I'm not just saying this. It might be the best Cook ever.

I'm not just saying it. Okay. I'm not just saying it.

Well, listen, Santa, what a treat for us to be able to spend just a bit part of of Christmas with.

Yeah, it was a treat for you. It was a waste of time for me. I'm going Hey, look, are we done?

Listen.

Best of luck tonight. I hope you.

Have a great one.

Yeah.

Okay, so nice.

Safe flight. He's out. He left already. Already.

He He left.

So quickly. Well, we wish him luck. We hope he sobers up just a little bit before he gets behind the reins.

To all our fans and everywhere and from Santa, we can speak for Santa, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, everyone. We love you guys. Thank you.

So much. Merry Christmas to you guys. I love you guys so much.

Love you guys. Have a great rest of the Christmas Eve and an incredible day tomorrow.

Yeah. Merry Christmas to you guys. And happy holidays. We love you.

And let's just say a very, very special Christmas. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

This.

Episode was exquisitely handcrafted by our favorite Santa's Little Helpers.

Helpers.

If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and and add right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wundry. Com/survey.

Hey, I'm.

Michelle Beatle. And I'm Peter Rosenberg.

Hey, Peter. Tell the people about our new podcast.

Right. It's called Over the Top, and we cover the biggest topics in sports and pop culture using Royal Rumble rules. That means we'll start with two stories, toss one out on its ass, and dive into the other stories with ruthless aggression.

Oh, but it never stops because every 90 seconds after that...

By God, whose music is that? Another story comes down to the ring. Rinsse and repeat until we arrive at the one most important thing on on planet that week.

Follow Over the Top on the Wundry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Over the Top early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry+.

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