Hi, everybody, welcome to Sophia with us, Merry Xmas, Merry Kwanzaa and Merry Christmas and Merry Sloup.

Miss, I am so fucking excited to do this hot line episode. This is my new favorite thing in the entire world. Even when I'm not working, I'm going to be listening to these shits because you guys are out of your minds.

This support from you guys is really unparalleled and has really touched my heart. I mean, so let's start with the very first one.

I fucking hate you. You fucking waste. You are so desperate and disgusting. You have the biggest fucking head. You're so annoying. Way fucking better. You're disgusting, you're nodding your fucking ugly as shit, your podcast fucking sucks.

And so you do. You're a bitch.

I'm just kidding. You know what? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Charlotte McKinney from Wisconsin. Address two, one, three.

That's right. But you should have done DuPage. OK, you know what? No, I feel like that was very rude, but it was also very funny. And I understand the big head thing. I mean, I don't understand personally.

I know Albert Einstein had a huge forehead. I know nothing about that at all.

My hearts are always way too big on my head because my forehead is so tiny, I wish I could get a bigger forehead and get laser hair removal around the skull.

Guys, I'm joking, I do have a big forehead, and you know what that means, I have a bigger brain than your little tiny pea brain, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Charlotte, mother fucker.

Guys, every single person has left the chat, but I promise you the rest of the episode, it's only positivity from here, I swear to God. And you know what? There's really not that much to say. You're kind of a psychotic ditch.

And I actually know exactly, exactly what you need besides a facial and a bikini wax and lip injections and tit implants and a father and a job and a esteem.

Bye bye, bitch.

You are psychotic. And I actually know exactly what you fucking need and it's better help.

H e l p. Better help, I mean, this bitch called in twice, so I think we can all agree that she could use some help specifically better help instead of, you know, berating random strangers on the Internet that you don't know.

I think a lot of us should maybe just take a second to self reflect and analyze our anger. And what better way to do that than with a licensed therapist emphasis on the licensed professional because, you know, after that little outburst this bitch just had, I think it's fair to say that we need top tier counseling here and there's nothing wrong with that.

So, guys, better help.

If you've ever found yourself, you know, having an unprovoked outburst like this, you will love better help because you can start communicating in under 24 hours and send a message to your counselor any time, all without ever having to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. And, you know, these licensed professional therapists, they are specialized in everything ranging from depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, sleeping trauma, LGBT matters, greive self-esteem and much more. Better help also is more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.

So you guys, I want us to start living a happier life today because it has been a shit show of a year. As a listener, you will get 10 percent off your first month by visiting my sponsor at better help dot com slash Sofia and join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's better help h e l p dot com slash sophea s o f ay ay. He could be a big time fan of your podcasts.

I'm just calling for some advice on something, and that is something I did with my girlfriend. So basically, long story short, I had had her sleeping over at my apartment to take a nap after a long night of drinking. And I cannot believe for her, so has the urge to forget and. I pulled down my pants and I need to wake up. She did and she hasn't left and she's not returning my calls. It's just it's funny how you go about this.

I feel like you have to be a repeat offender because pulling down the pants like that gave you away and. I really just I want to help you, but I'm just thinking about how your farts smelled after a huge line of drinking, which you made sure to include, I'm like this bed, Kafar.

That's how my mom always catch me drinking like a fucking natty light fart.

Good. Efrati Fireball for Friday. Fireball Pader tongue twister.

Everyone try it at home. Yeah. I just don't think I can help you buddy because honestly I don't believe you and I think this is your fetish at the end of the day and I think take ownership and. Far away, considering that was premeditated murder, I think leave her the fuck alone, leave her alone, move on, stop texting her and.

Have a great day by hey, Sophia. So I was just wondering, what is the best angle to get when you're menstruating and you want to send to a guy? I just want to know the real trick shot that you have. Let me know. Love you.

Love you. OK, I feel like this is a really great question because unfortunately, a lot of women don't want to put their vagina on blast.

What I mean by that is they don't feel comfortable or they're fine with it, but they don't want to in a video girl who do not want to see their vagina on video or in a picture or even in the fucking mirror. So I understand how this can be difficult.

And there's two things I talk to in I really good guy friends about this one because I have my own way. And then he told me something that he had seen that he liked foot on the tub.

I personally find it repulsive any time you take any type of nude in a fucking bathroom setting. But I guess I don't care, obviously. Actually, that makes sense because why the fuck would they they only see tits and ass.

He said foot on the tub. But the reason that he liked it is because you could see her ass also.

And he said, no offense to girls, but a vagina is just interesting. No offense, but vaginas are just not that interesting.

Look, which I found interesting myself these that they're really just not that interesting to look at at all.

And seeing the ads in the background, like in addition, like an ornament on a Christmas tree, that is really what takes it home.

So essentially what you're doing is like the you're holding your phone or your Polaroid camera underneath your pussy, you know what I'm saying?

And it's the shot is up your vagina, obviously, and I think when you're taking the picture from below like that, yes, your ass tends to look really fucking good and they get to get, you know, the pussy shot and maybe even the tits show up in there, like it kind of shows off the whole bod. So I totally get where he's coming from.

I actually just remembered something when I was in college.

I was dating this dude. Like, we weren't even really that serious.

I don't know. I can't really remember.

Anyways, he asked for a nude and I was so excited actually, because SLU and I sent him my tits. That's what I did.

And I remember he responded and he was like, like, that's child's play, hella. Well, let me see your pussy and make sure the lips are spread.

And that really just always traumatized me, and I don't think I ever spoke to him again, but like for some reason it really freaked me out.

I think after that moment, I was a little bit I might have even been in high school, to be honest, but it was also just like a senior.

And I was like a junior or some shit, whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is, it kind of traumatized me and I just thought that was the most vulgar thing ever. Now I'm just like, spread, spread the ass cheeks, spread the lips, spread the legs, spread it all. And when I see spread the lips, I mean my pussy lips.

And I'm talking about my one wizard's sleeve, my labia that dangles down to the flow and the other one that's sitting up tight. Right and bright.

Just I actually don't have that pipe. Overheard someone calling it a wizard's sleeve one time talking about this girl's vagina.

And I thought that was such a cute way to describe it. Ladies, whatever you have put the two fingers down there and this is real advice. Now, I have done it where you better fucking make sure you have a manicure. Thank you. And I prefer to do a video over a picture. It just I thought my vagina just ended up looking better that way and I just took it laying down and I just kind of showed, you know, my two fingers running down my pussy and then, yeah, just kind of spreading my lips and just kind of playing around and touching my clit and whatever else, you know.

So that is from my perspective, we ought to hear from his perspective.

He also said she like was like spitting on her hand in this video picture that she took over pussy and was like rubbing it on her nipples.

I don't know. He was just like a vagina is it's just kind of in open flesh wound and there's just nothing that interesting about it to which I said, I promise you dig our way less interesting, but whatever.

What a real jeronimo. Let's listen to the next one.

So it crashed into my boyfriend's pants during arguments. I'm trying to fix khakis. I know you shouldn't be wearing khakis. Please bring khaki pants and I'm going to start out OK.

I'm fucking dying.

It was a little muffled, but essentially what I'm understanding is you cracked an egg here or a friend, and then he was wearing khakis. And you understand that that is completely inappropriate, which I agree. And then you said you had to wash the pants and you just don't know what to do about it.

If I were to look into the details and figure out what is going on here, I feel like.

I have no fucking clue what to tell you, because I don't know what the fuck that voicemail was and happy eggnog, JCR and I was once at a party for my friend and I got a little tipsy and I started this guy that was before. And like the first time you hooked up terrible, like, really, really awful. Probably the worst day of my life. He was a head pusher. That's all he wanted was to have sex for maybe maybe two minutes.

And it was terrible. And so we were going to give it another shot. And so we went out to my car and we started hooking up. And apparently everyone at this party found out about it and they surrounded my car and were shining their flashlights on this guy, takes the blanket, completely, covers himself up like I'm naked, covered himself up. So I'm just like left there hanging, not sure what to do. So I take like a corner of it and I try and cover myself as best as I can.

And then people start rocking the car and trying to get in. And next thing I know, there's people on top of my car just jumping on it and I just don't know what to do. And they didn't stop. I had to get dressed and go out and, like, get them away. It was terrible. I ended up leaving that night just like so bad. Probably the worst sex of my life, to be honest. But yeah, just one of my little stories I hope you enjoy by.

I don't even know what to say, but I do know what to fucking say there. There's a thesis middle beginning and an entire novel that should be devoted to this question.

But as quickly as I can, no one had put sugar. When men do this to me, I slap their little disgusting hands away. Just kidding.

It's always the guys that last two minutes are the head pushers because they know if they insert the penis into your vagina, they will explode in 10 seconds rather than forty five.

And I think what you do in that situation is you grind your teeth on that bitch up and down, slide it all around. But that wasn't the main point of the question.

The main thing is the fucking car hooked up.

OK, first of all, I want to know what neighborhood that was in because I need to visit because I feel like the parties are wild and that's where I belong.

Secondly, it is no surprise that this dude grabbed the blanket off of your naked body to cover his big ass nipples. Nicktoons.

Just kidding. Use the blanket to cover his penis and left you naked. Oh my God, I would fucking kill a bitch. Which actually leads me to a bigger question. What body part would you cover up? First ladies would be the tits or the vagina? Because for me, I would just like cross my legs. And I feel like you couldn't really see the vagina, so I'd cover the tits.

Or maybe I would like curry pancake over. That's what I would do. I'd panic over and put the blanket over my.

But then this girl tells us that all of the people from the party rushed the car. We're taking pictures on their phones and then started rocking the car back and forth and jumping on the hood of the car while she is laying there bare ass naked. And that little loser of a guy, that little weasel is covering himself with a blanket like, are we in Pocahontas? Savages.

Savage is barely even human. Like these people sound like straight up fucking barbarians.

Damn. But I kind of it's it reminds me of every single rap video I've ever seen ever, and low key, like I want to go to some shit where people are doing that, but fuck all of you guys for doing that.

That's so fucked up. And girl, please message me because I need to send you some merch and a blanket.

Good luck. DHS detox, one of my favorites, after the year that we just fucking had, every single person is going to be drinking on New Year's. I mean, the way this shit went down, my conservative Mormon Utah family are probably going to end up doing body shots off of each other.

OK, ancestral cool, cool, cool. Guys, do detox. I really want to encourage everybody to drink away this shitty year responsibly and to take care of yourself with DGM so you can start the New Year feeling your best. I think we all fucking deserve that at this point.

I can tell you from personal experience this shit actually works. All you have to do is you take two capsules after your first couple of drinks and it goes to work. You can double up if you're having a bigger night. Detox uses science to help boost your body's natural response to alcohol and help break down those pesky toxins. Let's just go into twenty, twenty one with some fucking positivity.

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Let's talk about calm, because sometimes I feel the fucking opposite of calm, because living in a home, even though I love my family more than anything, it can be extremely stressful.

And I'm sorry you feel so fucking claustrophobic as I know a lot of people are.

Sometimes you just need a fucking break, you know what I mean? And it's not that you love anyone any less. It's just that you need to use the fucking calm app before you go Gypsy Rose on a bitch.

You know what I'm saying?

I have been relying on calm to keep sane so that I don't go, you know, on a fucking murder spree in my little Utah gated community, Charles Manson style.

The calm app is designed to help you ease stress and get the best sleep of your life. Holy shit.

Have I felt so sleep deprived before and night after night, I just could not fall asleep. The calm app has been a complete lifesaver. And if you go to calm Dotcom Sophea, you will get a limited time offer of 40 percent off a calm premium subscription, which includes hundreds of hours of programming. Get the call map and experience a transformation in the way you sleep. For listeners of the show, Calm is offering a special limited time promotion of 40 percent off guys.

That's 40 percent off AKAM premium subscription at Calm CHL and Dotcom Sufia. That's 40 percent off. Unlimited access to CALM's entire library and new content is added every week. Get started today at Comic-Con site Sufia that's calm. Dotcom slash Sofia Sofia.

Hey, Sophia, so I have a story when I was in college, I dated a major fat boy, but of course at the time thought I was so in love with him. We worked at the same bar. So long story short, I found out he cheated on me with another girl that we bartended with and completely unrelated. But the girl's name was Vicky, which like, don't they always cheat on you with fucking Vicky? Anyway, wrote me a beautiful letter to get me back and I was an idiot, so it worked.

I was so proud of this letter. She's so beautiful. I showed it to all my friends. One of my friends. Sure. Her boyfriend, like, hey, look at this sweet thing that is so and so's man did for her. Like, why don't you ever do anything nice for me like this? Well, he listens to the letter and he says that sounds really familiar. They go a few lines from it. Basically, the whole letter was completely plagiarized.

I don't know if anyone watches Californication. I definitely don't. But the guy I've been dating at the time was obsessed with it. And I guess in one episode he writes this long letter, it's like a season finale to the character that he's in love with. And I shit you, not the guy I was dating. Plagiarize that word for word. Changed a few small details to make it about the city we lived. So that's my story.

No fucking way, dawg. Holy shit. OK.

Oh my God. I want to hate this guy so bad because like, I can just imagine you reading that letter and dying from psyche and embarrassment.

I'm really not trying to be a bitch like I mean, I've been cheated on, but like I just when it slowly started to dawn on you that it was word for word copied and pasted from this show Californication, it would be from that show, like the whole entourage, bottom of the barrel douche bag frat bro.

Brad, you know, that watches Entourage every fucking day with a giant yeti and in Patagonia is like disgusting.

But at the same time, I kind of have to hand it to him.

Like, this kind of is brilliant. And I'm just thinking to myself, like. All of the times that I needed to apologize for something that I did where I fucked up, I could have just copied and pasted from somewhere. I mean, if this guy is getting like mad pussy and he's a player, then he's fucking bitches every week, you know, like multiple bitches every week, then I think it's kind of smart for him to do that.

He does not have time to write you, you know, a Dear John letter.

And I also really hate to say this, but your friends absolutely were talking about it behind your back girlfriend.

You were bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray. But I digress. Fuck him. But also, I'm going to take that I'm going to take that little trick and use it in my own life.

He was getting pressed and he knows how to fucking get out of shit. And so.

I probably need to send him some words, because without him, girl, you would not have been able to give me this amazing US content for my show. So thank you.

Brad, let's listen to the next one. Hi, Sophia.

So you boyfriend, you could say all the time whether, say, the word female is offensive or derogatory. I get where he's coming from in the sense that, like females is just like a word Sahnoun to describe women as just another way to describe women when you don't know if they like a woman or a girl. His argument is, for me, I feel like you can use females as an adjective. I'm a female nurse, a male nurse.

But when you say I hate it when females do this, it just feels wrong. And I don't know where to look. I know. I think it's just like objectifying. I feel like it's a little objectifying. Yeah, that's all I have been. Happy holidays.

OK, so using the word female, is it derogatory? Obviously, the way in which a word is used can make it derogatory or not. You're checking the box at the DMV saying you're female and not a male.

Then, you know, that's obviously fine if a dude is like my fucking female. Was acting like a blink, then I see how it's totally inappropriate and not OK and it's kind of interesting because like the word bitch and slut and ho, those words were kind of intended to be used negatively. And I mean, I guess not really.

Big bitch is a female dog saying that when you were younger. OK, but yes, a female dog.

So, yes, like these terms, they are intended to kind of not kind of be derogatory, this word female. It's kind of just like over time become that thing because of the fucking patriarchy. Let's take it down. But I don't know. This is a tough one for me because what it's doing is it is reducing you down to your reproductive system.

And your reproductive organs and your reproductive abilities, you know what I mean? Some people were not born with any of those things and still consider themselves a female type thing, and I think, you know, as time goes on, people are becoming more and more woak. You heard that correctly, use the word woak.

And so people are just, you know, as time progresses, we are paying attention more and we're not putting up with as much shit. And, you know, slang is just always changing also. But that's kind of all I have to say about that. I feel like I was a completely ridiculous answer.

I'm going to research this more and maybe elaborate on it, because it is very interesting to me. Females are about it driving, though.

OK, OK, let's move it along very quickly, I'm going to tell this story because I was kind of rambling on because I literally just hit a car as I was talking.

Anyway, it's basically I would like to speak on the topic of Fuqiang guys with this. You guys, let's just fucking say it. I'm not going to lie to you. It is an enjoyable experience for this reason. When you fucking ugly guy, you feel so hot and there's no chance of you taking feelings because you don't want to fucking day an ugly guy. So you just can do whatever you want. You feel so confident you're more likely to have an orgasm, you're more likely to fucking do anything, have crazy wild sex.

And it's amazing, I think.

Laughing The entire fucking time you were telling that story girlfriend, he Sufia just needed to leave another voicemail because I was rambling and I hit a car, OK.

Hey, girl, you are my soul sister, am I Spirit Animal and my muse fucking ugly guys.

I mean, my feeling on this is I have talked about this before. I have been told by, like, even close friends that fucking a guy you don't find attractive is the best sex because. Exactly.

You said in the voicemail you are not worried about the way you look at impressing them and blah, blah, blah, because you're not attracted to them.

I will say, though, girls can still fall in love with the ugly guy.

I think that's important to know. Fiona in Shrek.

As Miralda and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, let me know if you need any other peer reviewed answers or examples.

I mean, also I heard that if you're writing a guy, because the only way I've had an orgasm by being on top is I had to do the scooter and it, you know, and not the up and down.

And I heard that if the guy's like on the fatter end of the scale, that that kind of belly fat makes it easier for your Klyde to rub up against it. So Dashboard's all day long or if it's like really next level and you are fucking repulsed by this guy, just you can put a shirt on.

OK, I'm fucking rambling, but just don't get too comfortable girlfriend, because if he makes you come a certain amount of times, he's going to start looking a little hotter and hotter every day.

You know what I'm saying? And I mean, you got to tell me, like, how ugly on the ugly scale, one through 10, like, is it a Seth Rogen type thing because you guys are going to end up married. But anyways, thanks. I hope your car is OK.

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I take my mental health very seriously. You might not be able to tell by the way I act on this fucking show, but mental health is something I feel extremely passionate about. And this is why I want to talk about better help. I'm an avid, avid supporter of therapy. I've talked about it before and most of us are not able to see our therapist in person right now.

I know I can't better help is a godsend. You can start communicating in under 24 hours with your own licensed professional therapist.

Haven't we all been there?

Sometimes shit happens and you need to talk to someone ASAP. You can send a message to your counselor any time because sometimes you can't go to a friend and you can't go to a family member. They're just not going to cut it. You need someone who is removed from the situation and someone who has clinical expertise. Am I right?

It's also more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. So, guys, they're willing to help you, help yourself, help get the help you need.

That was in English, but you guys know what I mean.

So I want all of us and I mean this genuinely. I want all of us to start living a happier life today. We all deserve it. As a listener, you will get 10 percent off your first month by visiting our sponsor at Better Help Dotcom slash Sofia and you can join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's better help l.p dotcom sophea s o f ay ay.

Hey, Sophia, I wrote a theme song for the show, so feel with an app. Yeah, but this video was fantastic. Where's the food? Yeah.

Wow, I am really at a loss for words, I'm not laughing at you, this is just this is really something someone needs to call Scooter Braun, because this this is the next big thing. Ariana Grande Day.

Watch the fuck out. But seriously, this is this is the funniest shit I have ever fucking heard. And I am going to make it my ringtone and think you bitch think you slu best Christmas gift ever.

We want the suits.

OK, guys, that was honestly so much fun. I cannot wait to do it again. Thank you so much for calling in. I really had the best time listening to these voicemails. I was just sipping on wine, you know, midnight listening to these and having a blast. And I was like, holy shit, who needs friends?

But I hope everyone has an amazing holiday and stays safe. I know this year has been fucking insane, and I just wanted to say that I am so proud of all of my sloots for making it through. And thank you for sticking by me.

For real. For real. For real.

No matter what we went through, we are still here. And that's what fucking matters. And I seriously love you guys. And I don't want to be mushy, but I really do. I also want to let you guys know that there won't be an episode next week, but I have a ton of shit planned for you guys for twenty, twenty one. I'm so excited to continue on this journey with all of you, honestly. And I just, you know, really, really need a break, as I'm sure we all do.

So I'll be going to Mexico with my Manz and my family. And I love you bitches. Also, guys, make sure to follow me on all of my socials. It's Sophea with an F, Franklyn with the Y and check out my merch.

I actually have new merch coming out very, very soon. And I took forever being super obsessive compulsive about it and being the perfectionist that I am about it. And it's dope. It really, really is.

You can find the merch at Sophia Franklin Dotcom and I will see you guys in the new fucking year.