Another thing that's, like, really magical about this place is that it just sounds like nature at all times. Like, see, I speak birds and they said, that's right.

On this episode of the commercial Break. Yeah, I'd like to know exactly what Bob is talking about is contract.

He's got a sign.

Have your lawyers talk to my lawyers.

Your demon peepee is now under contract. Spotify exclusive on Spotify. Bob's demon Peepee.

The next episode of the commercial Break starts.

Again. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the beautiful co host of the commercial Break, Chris.

Enjoy.

Only best to you, Brian, and best.

To you out there in the podcast universe.

How the hell are you?

Thanks for joining us, Chrissy. Brian, I don't get to say this very often because it doesn't happen very often, but I was right. I was right. I was right. I was right. I don't mean to dance on the graves of those who have lost, but I was right. I tried to warn you in 2020, in 2021, and in 2022, I tried.

To warn you that NFTs are worthless.

I agreed with you.

They mean nothing. It meant nothing ever. It was never anything. It was never anything.

I know.

And trust me, I didn't take this information from my brain to make some contrarian point of view. I took this information from my brain because I really felt like a JPEG could not possibly be worth millions and millions of dollars when anybody else in the world can just screenshot the JPEG and make it. And an NFT is not even, it's just a receipt that you have some.

Ownership in some JPEG floating out there in the world. It doesn't really mean anything.

But lately I have been inundated by the YouTube algorithm. The YouTube algorithm.

The algorithm of YouTube.

Yes.

I've been inundated by these NFT ladies and gentlemen who also were predicting way back when, I guess, because now they're saying, I told you so, just like I'm about to tell you I told you so. I'm about to hop on the YouTube algorithm bandwagon here and say, I told you so.

They got it from us.

They got it from us. Now we're giving it back to them. And YouTube, you better treat me the same as somebody. Coffee Zilla could not possibly be more popular than the commercial break. Do you know Coffee Zillow is?

No.

I love Coffee Zillow.

Love, love. Remember when there's a big scrum up about the podcast industry and this guy was taking everybody's money. And Theo Vaughn went on and made a big 20 Minutes episode about how he'd been screwed by this guy at cast Media and blah, blah, blah. The podcast industry is full of fucking drama. You don't care about it here. But Theo Vaughn and Coffee Zilla is a guy who busts scammers in the crypto and new media and NFT space. And he's been responsible for busting a lot of Ponzi schemes or what they call rug pulls, meaning the rug was pulled from under the people who bought in the space. He's like, I don't know, the guy who kind of polices the area and people respect him. He gets millions and millions of views. He has millions and millions of subscribers. But Coffeezilla, he also has been saying for a long time, NFTs, I'm not so sure about these NFT things. I want you to listen to this. I'm going to read you an article from Yahoo. You ready?

Yes, ready.

Yahoo.

Byline. Remember when NFTs sold for millions of dollars? Now 95% of the digital collectibles have been valued at worthless. Are NFTS dead? A recent study looking at the price of thousands of collections seemed to suggest the answer is yes. A report by DAB Gamble collections. I got a collection of pixelated dicks.

I got a monkey chewing an eyeball. It's clearly worth billions of dollars. Look, I got the first ever tweet. What do you have? The first ever tweet? I paid $1.9 million.

The first ever tweet was sold by Jack Dorsey for $1.9 million. But you know what? It really was a screenshot of the first ever tweet.

Who couldn't do that? It's still there.

I'm sure it is, right?

It's got to be.

You got to keep that for posterity's sake or something, don't you?

I think so. Okay.

Just checking. All right.

Yeah. It's only if you have Money to just burn. It means something. If it means something to you, yes.

But that I will always agree with.

Yeah, but in the scope of things, to the rest of the world, who cares?

I learned that lesson hard and fast at the tender age of 14 years old, when I went on a rampage buying Dick Tracy collectibles. Dick Tracy? The movie, mind you, not even the real comic books.

The movie. The shitty ass movie from Beatty.

I've kept that shit for years just knowing it was going to turn into gold.

Sometimes.

It probably will at some point, but they're long gone. My mom threw them away.

She couldn't sickle looking at it stuffed.

In the corner of my closet.

And by the way, I took no.

Care of it whatsoever. Day after I get it, I throw it into my closet. $30 comic books got bended pages and folded knees. I got Pearl Jam posters I bought for hundreds of dollars I know are worthless.

They're worthless.

You go to eBay, you can buy them for $5. Framed for $25. I paid $1,000, but framed. A couple of these are a couple of $100 worth of hard earned savings.

I could probably use back on. But they mean something to you.

They do. I like to look at them and I have no intention of selling them. So if they mean something to me, it was important to get them. I like the posters. I like the band. I like these particular shows. They have sentimental value for some reason in my stupid little brain.

Everybody has the thing.

Of course you have a thing. Everybody has things. Like the Buddha said, attachments are suffering. I have a lot of suffering in.

My life, and it all starts and ends in this studio. Well, are contracts attachments? Our contracts have attachments. They're called amendments.

Okay. A report by Dap Gamble keeping an.

Eye on.

Yeah, thank God Dap Gamble's.

Out there keeping an eye on Dap Gamble.

That is the most crypto name I've ever heard. DAB Gamble. But it was only called DaB Gamble. Recent study by DAB Gamble, based on data provided by NFT scan and coin market cap showed that out of 73,000 NFT collections, the researchers looked at 69.8 thousand of them, or slightly over 95%, had a market cap of the number zero. That means 69. I want to make sure I get this right. 69 out of the 73 had a market value of $0.00 0.0.

Blutowski.

I would be curious as to the ones that still have value.

The most popular of collections, like board apes, that get you into exclusive events and parties where there may be some intrinsic value in.

Showing your JPEG, showing.

Up to your board ape party.

I mean, listen, I can't say I.

Wouldn'T want to go to a board ape party if someone invited me, but.

I'm not going to pay $72,000 to get there. Just not.

I did that once. It was called Taylor Swift. It was fine. By their estimates, almost 23 million people hold these worthless assets. This is a daunting reality and should serve as a sobering check on the euphoria that has often surrounded the NFT space, the research has said amid stories of digital art pieces selling for millions and overnight success stories, it is easy to overlook the fact that the market is fraught with pitfalls, scams, and potential losses. NFTs are digital representations of art or collectibles tied to the blockchain, typically Ethereum, and each one has a unique signature that cannot be duplicated.

Say that again. You can say that again.

In 2021 and 2022, the NFT market saw a huge bull run at one point, leading up to $2.8 billion in monthly trading volume. During that time, popular collections such as board ape crypto punks were selling for millions of dollars, and celebrities such as Stephen Curry and Snoop Dogg participated in the hype. The boom coincided with the cryptocurrency's peak. When bitcoin was trading close to $70,000 on Wednesday, the price of crypto, the price of the crypto hovered just above $27,000. DAB Gamble study shows that 79% of all NFT collectibles remain unsold, and the surplus of supply over demand has created a buyer's market that isn't doing anything to relieve the enthusiasm. Even filtering out the lower value and less significant projects, most collectibles have little to no value today, out of the top 8800 collections by market cap, 18% are worthless and 41% are priced between five and $100. Fewer than 1% have a price tag above 60.

Buy high, sell low.

Buy high, sell low. That's the Brian Green way to bankruptcy and success. You too can be bankrupt in the.

Podcast industry by following Brian Green's five rules, Foolproof Ways.

Number one, put out shitty content. Number two, put out more shitty content. Number three, go to three days of shitty content. Number four, four days of shitty content. And number five, realize you're making no money no matter how many episodes you put out. You two are in for a long, hard winter. Are you sick of being happy and fulfilled? Are you looking for a little misery, stress and depression in your life? Brian Green's got the answer for you. It's the get rich quick scheme that.

No one gets rich at.

It's the Ponzi scheme that stays at the bottom level. It's the pyramid scheme where all the Egyptians died off before they got a chance to build. You're going to be swimming in capital. If by capital you mean invoices, don't worry, they can't get what you don't have, right?

I told you, man. Listen.

But on the reverse side of that, maybe now's the time for us to get into buy them for a dollar.

Yeah, that's true. It's a buyer's market. If it's worth nothing, you'll take a penny, right?

By this estimation, we could literally buy up 95% of the market for a dollar, right?

I mean, why not, right?

Yeah.

It's like, sometimes I see these companies.

And they're valued at, like, their total value is like a million, $.5 with 45 million outstanding shares or whatever. And I'm like, why doesn't some guy or girl or whoever come in and spend $1.5 million and buy the whole company?

Yeah.

Well, then I thought to myself, well.

If they only worth $1.5 million, chances.

Are they aren't doing so great. Anyway, I guess that's why I do podcasting and they do market trading. Listen, and I feel bad. I have friends who got highly involved in the NFT process and some acquaintances who put out their own collections and stuff like this.

We talked about it with TCB. Of course. It went in the notebook, so we never did it.

Well, I did put out one NFT, and we're part of that 90.

Doing our part.

Yes, doing our part for this game.

For the glutton of inventory.

Let's rug pull together, shall we? It's time to come together, make peace between both sides, and support the rug pullers. They at least made some fake value for a while, right?

Yeah. I put that NFT out. It was the very first intro to the podcast that was created.

Similar to the first tweet.

Similar to the first tweet. Only I think that actually got people to.

I think Twitter worked out just fine. Well, at least for a little while.

It was going okay.

Anyway, it may not work out now. I think that Elon might be losing his marbles.

I know.

I was listening to a guy who wrote a book who just book about Twitter. Same guy who wrote not the big short, but he.

Shit.

Oh, the Social Network. His book became the Social Network.

Okay.

And then his book became another story about another famous movie with famous actors. But he's a really good writer, and he was on talking about his new book, which is the tweet that broke the Internet or the Twitter that broke the Internet or something like that. I don't know.

I have a feeling that's not the name of it.

No, it's not.

Let me find that. Christina's always yelling at me like that.

Christina is always yelling at me that I just get it so wrong. Breaking Twitter.

Breaking Twitter.

By Ben Mezrick. By Ben Mesrick. Okay. And so Ben has written, like, you know, social network and stuff. He wrote a book based on the social network, and he just.

Credible.

He's credible. He just sold the rights to this one, and it just came out today, and he already sold this one. And they're out there looking for their Elon Musk actor. And what a juicy part to dig into, right? Because there's some things that really fascinate me about this guy, and I'm not knocking the dreaming. That's how things get done.

Exactly.

You have to just believe, against all odds that you can return rockets to Earth and reuse them and all this other stuff, you have to come up, even if it's not your own original idea, which a lot of this stuff wasn't. DID YOU KNOW TESla, HE BoUgHT ThAt companY.

He did not create that company.

He bought that.

So, you know, when these really Steve Jobs types characters. Walt Disney.

YEAH. They go way outside.

They go way outside the box.

Who's that girl who did Spanx? Sarah Black.

OH, LIVELY.

Sarah lively. When people like this come along and they change the world one way or the other, you have to be a little bit crazy to do that, because every instinct and every common sense thread through your mind must tell you not to take these kind of risks. This is crazy. Borrow and borrow and borrow. Tesla was underwater. Still is underwater, I think, or might be. Tesla was underwater for years and years and years. Yet he got really good at raising capital because he was Elon Musk, and he could walk into a boardroom and just spout, and people would be impressed. They would be like, wow, this guy's crazy. BUT I LIKe IT. He's got some good ideas here.

Well, it's usually about changing know or creating something that wasn't there before, that there's a need for it. And I think Elon came into Twitter. HE LIKED USING TwITTeR. HE WaNTeD TO Change IT. And now it's just a mess.

It sounds like.

It sounds like it's a hot mess. Well, I mean, it's worth half of what it was just a year ago when he bought it. And then they were pointing out that if five years ago, if Elon Musk said, we're going to send a rocket up and we're trying to make it to Mars, and halfway there, the rocket exploded, everyone would go, he tried. At least we got in the air, right?

ThAT'S A GOOD ThING.

That would be considered a success. But in the current version of Elon Musk, when a rocket exploded, everybody kind of jeered him. They're like, well, see, that's another Elon musk failure. So it's a testament to how quickly sentiment can change, number one. ANd number twO, IT'S a TestamEnt to how one person's personality wrapped into all these companies can really move a market.

Hugely true.

And I think that's a lot like NFTs. There is an idea there. There is a digital rights management idea there that I think will survive the dick pics and the board apes and the whatevers, right? But the sentiment drove the value, the idea that you could hit the lottery by getting in early and buying big and selling bigger and all this.

Maybe some people did, if they did buy it, and then they sold it and then they stopped there. Like when you're at the winning table.

That's right. I agree.

You walk away.

Yeah, but so many people, no one ever does that.

Right?

And I think when you're Elon Musk and you're playing with billions and trillions of dollars and you keep winning and winning and winning and winning, you get the sense that you're invincible. And when public sentiment is with you, you are just bolstered. You have wind in your sails. I was reading about that first tweet that got sold. It got sold for one point. I think I'm getting these numbers right. I don't exactly have the. I don't have the information right in front of me because why would I? I'm just doing a podcast about it. But $1.9 million was bought by a conglomerate. Like a company that intended to then turn it around in a couple of years and sell it for $45 million. That's what they told their investors they were going to sell this for. Last check, last price. Guess what the top offer was. Just take a guess. For the first tweet ever.

I don't know.

The NFT of the first tweet.

$10,000.

$350.

Wow.

Was the largest, was the highest bidder. $350. Can you imagine taking a $1.9 million bath when you thought you were going to make $39 million? It's a lot like the commercial break, actually.

It really. There are definite parallels, or parallels between.

NFTs and between the commercial break. And we'll talk more about how shitty the podcast is doing right after our first break. Oh, there's blue.

There's blue.

So that's perfect timing. Let's let blue get it out of her system. We'll be back in 40 to 80 minutes. We'll be right back.

Yeah, Brian, we get it. But back to me. I mean, this TCB promo. Leave us a voicemail at six two six. Ask TCB Three and you might just hear yourself on the show. Want to text us instead? Lucky for you, we also have a number just for that. Text us at eight five five TCB 8383 and give us compliments. You can also always go to TCBpodcast.com for all of our audio and video. Find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBPodcast and find us on YouTube.com Slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes. Now that that's done, let's listen to a few sponsors and get back to this episode of the commercial Break.

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All right, and we're back.

Chrissy, when you were a kid, Halloween just passed a week or so ago. When you were a kid, did you ever do Ouija boards?

Yes.

Stuff like that.

Yeah, I loved it.

Did you?

And when you did those Ouija boards, like anything.

It was like at a slumber party.

Yeah.

It's scaring each other and going to the red ROM.

Red ROM.

Who am I going to marry?

Yeah.

D-C-W-T-Y.

Like when I was on that porn.

It was like on that live porn video, TTW. Hashtag. Hashtag minus, minus.

Did that hold any weight for you? I guess is what I'm trying to say.

No, that night maybe, but no.

I remember we did the Red Rum.

Or Red Mary in the mirror.

Oh, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody. Hold your. Go into a dark bathroom where they have the big mirror. Right. And then you close your eyes and you hold your hands on your eyes and you say, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary three times. No, we said it 15 times. 15, yeah, because the more you press your eyes, the bigger the red circle would be when you opened up your eyes.

Oh, wow.

You're essentially just constricting your blood vessels to show a red dot in the middle of your vision. But, man, scared the shit out of me the first time it happened. And then the next time the mirror scared me was when I was 18 on an acid.

My face is melting.

But I do remember those Ouija boards. I remember here in Georgia where I grew up, and I probably shouldn't mention the place because God forbid anybody actually be from Georgia, and it causes trouble. But there was a place where I grew up, there was like a lot of places in Georgia. Some farmland, some old know, non paved.

Mean, just like mountain monsters, just like farms that they go to, covered bridges.

The whole nine yards. There was a property that was off of one of the major roads in the town that I lived, and that was a dirt road. And that dirt road that led up to this property, apparently there was a murder that happened there that was done by Satanists, right? People.

Oh, the old.

The old anarchists.

Satanic killing. Yes.

And so this was lore. Lure.

Not lure. Lore.

TCB lore or lure.

They would lure you in with their lore. They would lure you with your lore.

That's my eight year old speech impediment coming on. So there was this property, and if you dare, at night, you could turn off your light, turn down this road, turn off your lights and get down this road and back before the Satanist got you.

Right?

That was the whole thing.

There was apparently an old barrel back there with bones in it. And there were still pentagrams. And if you got there on a Friday night, the ghosts were having parties. It was a whole thing. And by the time I turned, I know the ghosts were having parties.

It was all thing. It just kept going and going and.

Going until it just sounded like, I don't know, Disney World for Satanist and murderer.

Right?

And one way or the other, you had to go, because if you didn't, then you were scaredy cat. Yeah, you were scaredy cat. So when I got old enough and I got that job at McDonald's, 14 years old, we had a couple of the older teenagers, we're all about going down this road to see what happened. They'd never been, we got to go, we got to go down this old. I don't want to name.

And you never saw them again.

Chrissy. I'm not sure I ever came back. I'm not sure which.

I think it changed the course of my life.

I think I'm still being piggyfronted by ghosts right now.

They're having a party right now.

I can feel, yeah, I can feel.

A ghost penis pecking at the back of my head. I'm being piggy fronted as we speak.

Sometimes I get indigestion. I really think it's just a Satanist ghost dick down my throat.

I guess we'll find out when we.

Eat the gummy bear.

Oh, God.

Speaking of Satanists. But this whole thing, this whole folklore that was going on until one night we went down there and of course there was nothing there. Yes, it was scary because it was an old road. And I did find out as an adult when the Internet came along that there were actually murders that happened on this property, but they were not done by Satanists. It was good old fashioned jealous husband. Jealous husband, yeah, murder suicide, something like that. I don't know what it was, but.

That, was there a house down there?

There was an old decrepit house down there. It was abandoned. Yeah, it was a scary property, no doubt. There was no lights. If there was no moon, you couldn't see anything. The thing was, you had to turn off your lights so that you didn't alert the Satanists to your.

By the way, the amount of times that I said Satanists on this episode.

We'Re getting zero ads.

I like that. Do you have to put it neutral too? Just silently cruise in your Honda.

I'll never forget we went with this girl who was like 18 years old at 1819 years old. We were 14 I think my twin brother was with me and then it was this other younger person that worked at McDonald's and this girl was like.

How young were people working at McDonald's? It sounds like 14 child labor.

14. You can get a worker's permit at 14 in the state, but you can only work a certain amount of hours. I think it's like nine per week. And then we turn 15, it could be up to 15 per week. And then when you're 16, you can work full blown full time, but you got to be in school too. They want you to get an educational. At least my parents did. So I mostly took their advice.

I decided to become a working man.

I'm just going for it, dad.

Listen, I got a career over there at McDonald's.

I'm dating this 26 year old part time manager. She's the breakfast manager, dad. She's Going places in the world.

She's making at least something more than.

I am per hour. I was making 415 an hour. Never forget it. Little sugar mama, so happy. Oh, she was a little sugar mama. She's kind of creepy. When I think about it now, I'm like, I wonder if that was wholly inappropriate.

I think so. If she was really 26.

I know, but times were different back.

In the 40s when I grew up.

Back when I was working at the first McDonald's.

Inappropriate? What's that?

What's that? Inappropriate. We're lucky if we lived ten years. That's just the way it was. You got pregnant at 16 and you gave your life to the child. That's how it was. That's the things that we did now.

You got all pampered with doctors and shit.

It used to be when a woman was pregnant and the baby was coming out, we got the wolves to come and yank her out. That's how it worked. We said, wolf, you're hungry.

So we went down this thing. Nothing happened, of course, but we were with this girl and she turned off her lights and she had like this old Celica.

Oh, the old Celica, yeah.

And when you're talking about an old Celica from the.

Was a really old Celica, it was like the first version, like 1985.

And so I think, yeah, we turned off the lights and turned off the car. We got to the end, then we all got scared and turned around.

Yeah. Could you turn on your lights on the way out?

Yes.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

And I told her to hit it.

I was scared. I was fucking scared.

Yeah, we need lights and brights and gas. Call the cops, page the cops. My pager just went off. We got to get out of here. I got to sell a dime bag of oregano to my friend.

So the other night when it was Halloween, I don't know why, but I was watching a documentary about exorcists, about real life exorcists. And I thought to myself, what a great thing to review here on the commercial. Real life exorcisms. Now, some of the audio is just people screaming. So I want you to understand that there's not a ton of digestible audio here, but if we walk you through it, I think you'll get the gist of it. I wanted to show you one particular video from one famous exorcist. Who's Bob Larkin? Do you remember this guy that we did? He was like, training these young girls to be exorcists. These three young girls to be exorcists. Maybe we did this first season. Maybe we did this. But anyway, he's back. He's at one of these traveling roadshow exorcisms. It's clearly all fake and made up and all that other shit. But, man, is this guy who is playing this part of the person who is inhibiting a demon or the demon is inhabiting him. This guy is putting on a masterclass in terrible acting. And I just think we have to watch it. Chrissy.

Let's do it.

It's perfect fodder for the commercial break. The name of the video is the real exorcist. Oh, I should probably turn it on. That would make sense if we actually.

Were you on the Internet.

I was on the trolling.

I was trolling on the Internet.

As you like to know, these would be the queue for the commercial break for Christina. So now that I do my own commercials, I totally forgot about it. But it's a cute part of the show.

It is shown on the Internet, as.

I like to do.

I enjoy it.

There you go. Bob Larson.

Sam, are you Christian? Yes. Okay. How long you been a Christian?

40 years or so. Former pastor.

How old are you?

56.

He said former pastor.

He's a former pastor. So the. Clearly there would be no relation between these two.

They're in a. Just to set the scene for the listeners, they're in a Holiday Inn. I was going to say Holiday Inn type meeting room.

When you realize how many people have these kind of weird events going on at these local hotels, ballrooms, you realize that these hotels really have to do take anything to make a living. They have to take anyone or anything that comes in the door. Hey, you want to do an exorcism in our ballroom on a Friday night?

Yeah, sure.

Bring the demons on in.

All right, Pastor, just try to look at me. Wow.

Pardon me. I'm trying not to let this thing.

Manifest right now so we can talk. Okay.

Sam is a 56 year old Christian and former pastor. HE's been dealing with entrenched demons his whole life. His mother was a victim of incest. Previous attempts of deliverance were vague and ineffectual and only provided temporary relief. Thank God Bob Larson came along to get that demon right out of him.

Friend has tried to help you, and people have tried to help you, and you've had prayer. This thing has acted like this before. Do we know what it is, who it is?

Wait, so that he had to deal with the incest demon?

Yeah, he's got to deal with the incest demon, I think.

God.

Okay.

Oh, Lord.

Why is the incest demon in him?

From his mother, I get. I think they're just, like, pulling on loose threads and trying to put something together. This is produced by Bob Larson.

He's got a good dye job on his hair.

Oh, yeah, that's Trump 101 right there.

Same color hair.

I think Bob just has a little bit more of it real. Anyway.

Yeah.

I want you to say, if this evil, if this evil is rooted, is rooted all or part, all or part, it exists in innost.

Oh, Chrissy, on the bottom of the screen there, there's a phone number that we can call to talk to Bob Larson personally.

Virtual encounter, Bobblarson.org slash help.

Yeah, there you go. Write that phone number down. Maybe we should give that a call. And I'll pretend to be inhabited by the Bad podcast demon.

We should call it.

I break that curse. I break that curse.

Now here he goes. So what you don't see is that Bob is standing above him with a microphone. He's sitting down in a chair. He's kind of twisting his body in a little bit of weird ways. But after Bob gave him this whole call and response thing, now the former pastor is really twisting in his chair in very OD ways. He's manipulating his body in very strange ways, I assume, to make it look like he is actually possessed by a demon.

Yeah, look at that. Look at other people.

I know. All these other people were, was. I thought you were selling us timeshares. I thought we were getting free tickets to the Vegas Comic Con.

Sounds like Jim Carrey in that.

Oh, he just smacked him right in the belly. Look at his face. Someone off camera handed Bob a shoe.

No, it's a.

Shoe.

Bob didn't even, like, wave it in front of him to give him a heads up. He just smacked it and I'm talking.

He really.

I know this guy's probably thinking, we.

Didn'T agree to this.

He got the wind knocked out of him. That must have hurt. Here, let me. Let's go back to that.

Here comes the Bible.

Oh, crap.

It sounds like us back when we used to get drunk together.

The balls again, Chrissy, that's so much fun.

Oh, he's hit him in the balls.

He hit him in the dick.

He did.

He hit him in the dick. He just took the Bible and hit him in the dick. You could see. I know that guy walking back is like, be careful.

He's going for the dick shot. Do you think they practice this like wrestlers do?

Watch him. He's going to take the book and go straight down on his dick. I cut off your wee wee.

That other guy's laughing.

I know he thinks it's funny. This is so much better than rehearsal.

You know what I just did, don't you?

Cut my balls off.

Get on your feet.

Why did he hit the balls?

Because I guess he's trying to get.

The incest deep right, which is terrible, by the way.

Incest is terrible. I have family members who are also victims of this, and it is terrible, terrible, terrible. But I feel more comforted by the fact that this is clearly bullshit. I mean, this guy is terribly acting this whole thing out.

Yeah.

Get on your feet. I command him across. Stand up. Stand up.

Wait, hold on. Order now. Jezebel.

Jezebel, your number one spiritual enemy.

The uplifting book by Bob Larson. You'll put this book down feeling energized and optimized, ready to take on anybody's demonic peepee. I curse your peepee.

Come here.

Sounds like one of my kids.

They have a cold.

Yeah.

Bible. The blood between you and me.

Now, the guy who is pretending like he's possessed is, like, flinching every time Bob waves the Bible because he knows he's about getting ready to get hit.

God.

Okay, so what you're hearing.

I know, but I want you to know something.

Listen to the sound that's being made. That sounds very demonic, right? It sounds otherworldly. But the problem is Bob pulls the microphone away and that sound gets louder, not quieter. Watch. So clearly that's a sound effect that's being played.

Looks like there's, like a boombox in the background.

Yeah, there's a DJ. There's a DJ going on there.

Cut your wee wee peepee off. Cut your DDPP off. I would have cut that demon penis right out of you. Drop the demon. Drop the Bible on your ball. You're at Club Satan. Club Jezebel.

You're going to leave here feeling refreshed.

Your penis will be bruised, but you'll leave here refreshed. You better not touch a peepee.

Better get another man.

Better get another man.

Yeah. You said get another man in here, and I assume that means he's, like, to hold him back.

I think one man would be okay. They have to, because imagine you practice.

This all night long. You got a job being a bodyguard at a Bob Larson fest or whatever.

The hell's going on.

Yeah, Bob, clearly, this is all rehearsed. And he's like, this is just so much funnier than in rehearsal.

He can't help but laugh. Everyone around him is laughing.

I know.

Except for your demon boy there who just got his peepee smacked.

Look, his penis is swollen four times the size of its original penis.

Couple more men. Where are you holding.

What are they going to do? Hold his legs?

Put him up so Bob can attack his peepee some more.

Each one of his arms and one guy's going for his legs.

They're going to lift him up in the air so Bob can smack him around a little bit more.

This sounds like a ton of fun.

I want to go to one of these events. Just laugh.

I know.

Like, this guy is, but for real.

And then Bob will smack my.

Ah.

You think you're gonna take me out?

He couldn't take me out.

He won't even listen to me.

No.

Hurt him. Hurt him.

Can you imagine the neighbors at his apartment complex?

He's trying to practice for this.

Keep it down.

Hey, give your demon peepee to yourself. Hey, Super. Yeah, it's me, Carl. This is the fifth time I've called about The Demon Peepee act going on upstairs. I mean, please, can we calm it down? I gotta send some photographs. I got some cash to drop off of people trying to count my fat sacks to drop off at my lady's house. All right, talk to you later. What are you doing tonight, Miss 911 lady? Okay, I'll talk to you later. I got to go prepare for my actual exercise.

Are you afraid, Bob? Quiet. Do you have legal authority?

Yes or no legal authority?

Legal authority to do what? Legal authority. Do you have legal authority? What the good fuck is going on here? Do you have legal authority? If you're dealing with an actual demon, I'm pretty sure legal authority stops there. Ghostbuster. They got the thumbs up from the police commissioner to do whatever they needed to do.

Put slime all over the streets.

You don't want to know why? Because I don't know. There's no law.

There's no law about demon peepees.

Legal authority. Do you have legal authority? Yes or no? Yes or no? Of course. What is the legal authority?

I would like to know.

Yeah, I'd like to know exactly what Bob is talking about. Is there a contract he's got to sign?

Have your lawyers talk to my lawyers.

Your demon peepee is now under contract. Spotify. Exclusive on Spotify. Bob's demon PB.

Is it the incest? I'll take that for a yes.

Why? You made him answer the other.

How many generations? It didn't just start with the mother. How many generations? What's the number? I command you, by Christ. How many? Clearly. How many?

How many?

Five.

I have trouble with numbers. You just messed me in the balls. Can I have a minute to recover? We didn't do this in rehearsal.

I command an answer. I take the sword of the spirit. I want a clear answer.

The other guys that are holding him are trying to answer for him because they just want to get this over. They're like, okay, he's overacting this one. Bob, we got a bad guy, okay?

You hit him in the PP.

He reacted the other way.

You're supposed to calm down and all of a sudden he's pepped up a little bit.

Any generations? How many?

He hit him again in the chest.

Like with the Bible, and he's hitting him with the crucifix.

God, that's got to hurt, don't you think?

I think so.

That's got to hurt. I think it's a good place to take a break.

Don't you want to do that?

All right, let's take a break and we'll be back with demon peepees.

Okay, podcast besties, time for one more quick break. And then it's back to the drama. Check out TCBpodcast.com for all of our episodes and Youtube.com. Thecommercial break for fully edited video episodes. Find us on Instagram at thecommercial break and on TikTok at TCBPodcast. And of course, if you want to get in touch with us, which, like, of course you do, leave us a voicemail at six two six. AsKTCB three. Or text us at eight five five. TCB 8383. Now let's listen to some sponsors and get this show going.

You all right, we're back with Bob.

And his demon peepee. Let's see what's going on here. Back in the room, Bob Larson, noted exorcist, I guess. Noted exorcist. He's actually all over TV. This guy is a pretty famous guy. He's been on Geraldo and I think he was on Dr. Phil once and all this other stuff. So he's made the rounds, he's made a living being an exorcist. And if you believe in exorcism, well, then that's your there. I actually believe, Chrissy, that there are some of those, the knights of the Templar type thing inside of the Vatican. There are priests who have conducted, apparently, exorcisms on behalf of the papacy had said, go out and check this one out. And there are some stories. One of them is the book that the Exorcist was based on of this priest who was, like, the head exorcist for the papacy for a long time. And I've read some of those accounts. I'm not saying that exorcism is real, but I'm not saying it's not real either. What I do know is that Bob and his demon peepee here, this is not real.

This is clearly acting.

Clearly.

85 generations.

85 generations of the incest demon inside of the bodies. 85 generations. Wow.

That's a long time.

Has there even been 85 generations of humans?

I'm not even sure that would put.

Us back in, like, negative 2000 ery. It's a generation like, I don't know, 30 years. 80 years.

So that's 30 or 80.

Something like that.

I don't know. What do they consider a generation?

Now it seems like every three years there's a new name for a generation. But that's colloquial. This is actual generation. I don't know.

Who knows?

Say I incest.

Brian, you have been cursed by the. You have been cursed by the non handy demon. You cannot do anything where your hands are required. They are useless. Hand model, maybe. Aye. Brian. Don't touch the clearly exposed wires. It's probably a good.

The refrigerator is working great in that pantry, though.

I noticed it.

Yeah, it's lovely.

With all my kingdom.

All my kingdom.

He's like a pirate.

Me and my one Eyed willy. Demon peepee, by the way. I don't know if you noticed, but.

At some point, the guy who's holding him, the big guy on the back.

Which I've seen, like, Jeff.

What's his name? The guy from.

Oh, yeah.

From your enthusiasm.

Yeah, yeah.

Jeff Garland. Jeff Garland. Okay, he looks exactly like Jeff Garland. He's a doppelgaminger for sure. So he is holding him from behind, like, over his chest. And at one point, he looked back at the crowd and he goes, his breath stinks.

And somehow I don't have a hard time.

Yeah, the demon breath. The demon dick breath. When you got demon dick breath, do.

You have demon dick breath?

Listerine.

Never mind.

Witchcraft. And witchcraft. Witchcraft.

Is he saying witchcraft? Like which craft?

You have to be more specific. It sounded like you found a space, Edna. Grammar is appropriate.

So, yeah, witchcraft.

See, this guy's getting a couple jokes in there.

What?

I have a feeling this guy does, like, the Ha Ha's in Shamburg, Illinois on the weekends. Or he's a magician for kids or something.

I never got my big break early.

Along the way, somebody sought revenge, so it got murdered, too, say, and murder, murder.

Murder. He won't do that either.

He won't hurt anybody. We all. We all lift the curse. Lift the curse of 85 generations. 85 generations from this man.

I'm getting hungry. 15 minutes. Smoke break.

Get him out of there. Yeah, he's ready to leave.

I know. Bob's like, okay, you stolen my thunder. I hired you for the weekend. You were supposed to just play second fiddle.

Future generations.

Future generation.

And his calling.

Is that somebody's phone?

Sorry?

I said all phones on silent.

I ordered some wings from Pizza Hut. I had them delivered here. I figured we're going to be here for a minute. This was supposed to be a seminar about timeshares.

I command you, by Christ, lift it.

The phone keeps going.

I think it's Bob's phone.

Yeah, it's probably Bob's phone in his pocket. I left it.

Hold on. I need to get this call.

Yeah, hold on one moment. Bob Larson's exorcism. Could I talk to you about your demon auto insurance? How much time do you live on that demon car warranty of yours?

Look at me. Whatever other curses there are and whatever other spirits are part of this kingdom, I take a three full cord and I bind you together as one.

He was trying to circle his.

He.

Calls audience members forward with their cross of deliverance to help battle.

The demon's got one of my crosses. I want you to come out here at the front and take that cross in the space. Come on.

People are just literally have their iPhones.

Out recording this going. You can't believe what I walked into. They were given free coffee and donuts.

Look at these guys. Lined up to get exercised.

Oh, well, that's a homely looking bunch. Where did they get these? Know, it's not like Taylor Swift is coming into town. They have radio support and ads everywhere.

And Instagram.

I swear to God, they're probably giving.

Out coffee and donuts.

I think so, too. I think the people that are staying there.

Yeah. Free continental breakfast with every exorcism.

Just pretend you don't.

Just pretend.

You probably believe it.

Just pretend you might believe it.

Any incest.

Need.

Oil. Cleansing oil.

Tea tree oil.

Cleansing oil. Vaseline and Clorox bleach. Come together in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. It's the grand Trinity of cleansing material.

And the Holy Spirit. 85 generations. It's over.

Now.

These aren't the only.

And by end, I mean, because you can't have children anymore. Damaged your scrotum.

Yeah. It's over. You got a Bible vasectomy. Yeah, he really did hit his balls pretty hard.

You could see the look on his face.

He was like, oh.

But without you there, he can start putting his life together. Say I murder.

I murder.

An incest.

An incest. An incest.

An inch. I'm going to sneak one by the goalpost here an inch.

Rainbow. All evil.

This curse. This curse. Have no more right. Have no more right to this man of God. To this man of God.

I still don't know why he's the pirate talker.

Yeah, I don't know, either.

I don't know why, though. And they keep modulating his voice and throwing in weird sound effects. It's all so transparently bad. But here we are.

He's got the cross, the crucifix by his neck. He's holding him up.

He wants to kill him.

We receive judgment. Judgment. Judgment.

Judgment. Judgment. I'll take judgment for $5,000, Alex.

All the torment of 85 generations I put on your head seven times greater.

You scum.

This guy just keeps.

Wants to keep playing the act. He's like, I got a lot of airtime here. This is going to go on.

My eyes are on me.

This is going to go on my sizzle reel. You watch Bob. I won't be playing kindergarten birthday parties anymore. Going straight to the top.

Should we all. Should we all.

We are.

God, I think I can smell his breath through here.

Yeah, just looks bad.

He looks terrible. He's making terrible facial contortions.

I say the.

I say the. You say we. I say demon. You'd say beepee. Demon beepy. Demon beepy. It's a call and response act there at Bob Larson's comedy show. You got a frisky little one? Yeah. We'll exercise this little wee.

Just say it. I can smell those wings.

Please. We got Domino's. It was the best pizza we've had all tour. Go to the pit. Jesus, what is going on here?

Go.

Demon. Go, Demon. Go to the pit. Oh, this is a chaotic episode.

To finish driving.

Is Bob a priest? He's just wearing a suit.

No, I don't think Bob is a priest.

I think he's just a guy with a really heavy Bible that he's ready.

To swing at anybody who calls himself a demon.

Holy Spirit.

Chewing gum.

I know.

Acting like he's saying the words from the puff.

He's like, hallelujah. Praise Jesus.

Domino's with pepperoni. Did you get extra sauce?

Love those ranch dippers.

Any ranch dippers? Anybody get any ranch dippers? Go.

To the pit.

Go to the pit.

Just breathe in the Holy Spirit.

Go to the pit. Go to the pit.

I won't even think about where the pit is or what the pit is.

Well, I think the pit is at a maroon five show.

That's where it gets the most. It's general admission at the Maroon Five show, who also happens to be playing the Holiday Inn after this, by the way. Yeah.

A little bit better.

All right, thank you. Thank you very much. Did it. Nailed it. Come on. You got free donuts. What else could you want? Free donuts and a show. It's like Bartim and Bailey. Ripley's believe it or not. That's good stuff. Do we have fun or do we have fun?

I could not stop laughing at that. I watched just a couple of minutes of it when I was like, oh, this is good. We got to do this. I watched just a couple of minutes, and as soon as that guy started laughing hysterically in his chair, I was.

Like, oh, yes, this is commercial break.

Material all day long.

I'm going to send you that number.

Send me that number.

I'll give it a ring and I'll put it on the roadcaster. We'll see if we can get Bob on the phone. That's the caliber of guests you get here at the commercial.

We say set the bar low.

Like in hell.

In the pit.

In the pit. The maroon Five general admission pit. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

Four days a week, Tuesday through Friday.

You know how it goes.

We've been talking about it for a while. Nothing's changed. That is the steady course that we are plotting, at least for right this moment. Also, more information about the TCB Holiday audio hunt coming up. $1,000 prize. So the lucky winner, but you Got to work for it. And we're going to talk about that in the next coming weeks. As we turn around toward Thanksgiving, we're going to give away $1,000 gold got gift cards to some lucky winner in January. I'm so excited. But I'm serious. It's going to take work. You're going to have to use your noggin on this one. We're not going to make it easy for you like we did on the.

Last one where we just. Yeah, just tell us you listened, please.

But we're doubling the prize, too. Thousand dollars gold dot gift cards to the lucky winner. Also, we'd like you to get your piggy fronting sticker. You can go to TCBpodcast.com, hit the Contact Us button, the drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address. Tell Astrid you said hello and she'll send off a sticker to your mailbox. Hey, you get a sticker and you get a sticker and you get a sticker. If you want it signed or whatever, we'll do that. We'll be happy to do it. Just leave that in the email that you send or the contact form that you send over our way also. Six two six. Ask TCB the number 31626. Ask TCB the number three. Toll free from anywhere in the world. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, we take them all at that number. You can also leave us a voicemail if you'd like to be on the commercial break. We may use that voicemail at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB, podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com, slash the commercial break. You gotta watch this one online. You're gonna love it. So, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say we must say, and we always.

Say goodbye.

In the morning. Close.