Bill Clinton.

Can jerk one out in a government building, but when the.

Rest of us.

Do it, it's a problem.

We should all have the right.

To bang one out.

In a government building.

And you can quote me on that. On this episode of the commercial break. You get a.

Little recorder, like the ones they put in Build a Bear. And you're like, Great job, Christina. I love you so much. And then you put it in there and you press this little button and then you can spoon at night and be like, Oh, I'm the best. I love this for me.

Your dick is the best, Brian. Thanks again for fucking me so hard. You almost knocked my fake pussy out. Good night, sweetie.

The next episode of The commercial break starts now. The 30th of the morning. Oh, yeah, cats are getting swugging back to the commercial break. I'm Brian and I'm also a co-founder of The Green Green. This is the chairman of Rizin & Jizin. Christina. Best to you, Christina.

Best to you, Brian. And best to.

You out there in the podcast universe. Christina coming to us virtually as my house has turned into the petri dish that I should have expected. Barve. Yeah, barve indeed. The petri dish that comes every winter, as soon as you close the doors and it gets cold outside, this place becomes a toxic wasteland of shit, pee, poop, snot. Christina, you want no part of this? You want no part of this? I'm telling you right now. There's no amount of Lysol that could take care of it. Stay away. I'm going to buy stock and Lysol is what I'm going to do, because we have been Lysol into shit out of everything. But all the kids are sick because that is exactly what happens. Around the holidays, a vacation, or anytime something important comes up, all of our children, they just get sick. I guess that most parents experience this in some way, shape, or form. But when I was single, I would get sick. Well, when I was a smoker, I'd get sick often. I get a bad sinus infection every year, and then I definitely get an upper respiratory infection. Yeah, it was a different time back then.

We all smoked. We all like cigarettes. Okay, sure. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. No, you've never smoked a cigarette? Never, ever. No, never. Do you have friends that smoke cigarettes?

Yes.

Yeah, you do? Okay. All right, so it's still there. It's out there.

In the Ethos. A couple of friends smoke, but then most of my friends are more the drinking smoker, which I'm gross. I'll tell you this. Okay. Get a kick out of this. One time, morning after a night out, I was with the guy I was seeing at the time, and I wasn't feeling so hot in the morning, but I wasn't really sure how bad it was, obviously. I will have you over. And we turned over, he kissed me, and then I went, Huh!

And you puked?

No, I didn't puke. I gas. And then I sprinted to the bathroom and barfed. Oh!

-because of the smell.

-immediate barf. Because of the taste of the cigarette. It. Yeah. And so that started one of the worst hangover days of my life.

As an OCD guy, as a guy who probably is a touch of the obsessive, cleanliness is super important to me. I take two showers a day, shave all the time. I mean, I'm just like, I don't like certain smells or dirt or anything really on my body.

I think that makes you just a person that could be a snizler and does not diagnose you with OCD.

Yeah, let's not go self-diagnosing ourselves. Let's not be... What did the guy... I read this article yesterday, and the guy said, Narcissistic spiritual leader. Let me not self-diagnose. But I think you're right. I think I'm a bit person that could a lot per snickety. Let's just call it like I see it.

I'm really per snickety. You're just a per snickety, snizler.

So when I smoked cigarettes, I would purposefully smoke cigarettes in a manner that I knew would cut down on the amount of cigarette smell that would be on my clothing. I'd always smoke down draft or I'd smoke outside. I never wanted that hanging cigarette smoke smell that you often find on true cigarette smokers. I never was a heavy smoker. I hate that. But the drinking and the cigarettes is the thing that kill me. It's why I stopped drinking, is because I knew that if I continued to drink, I would never stop smoking cigarettes. This would never happen, because beer and cigarettes went hand in hand for me, and I couldn't do one without the other. But when I smoked- That's so gross. -i was sick. It was disgusting. It was disgusting. But I guess a little feather in my cap, Astrid has never smoked a cigarette in her life either, and she hates the smell of cigarette smoke. But she told me, or she tells me, maybe this is just her making me feel better. She would always say, You don't smell like smoke. You don't smell like smoke. You take care to make sure that you have a mint or something.

She's like, You never really smelled like a smoker. I think she's just trying to make me feel better.

I can't believe she started dating you while you were a smoker.

She.

Did.

That's crazy to me. Listen, the hard ones with the hard ones, it is what it is.

I suppose so.

But when I was a cigarette smoker, I would get at least one terrible sinus infection every single year. I mean, terrible weeks of coughing and snot. My dumb ass on some occasions would just continue to smoke cigarettes because that's what happens when you're a cigarette smoker. You just continue to smoke cigarettes. What the fuck? I know, Christina, but again, we didn't know what we know now. We had no idea that cigarettes would kill you. It was an Apertis. Yes, we did. It helped with digestion. Yes, we did.

This wasn't in 1940.

No, people in the '60s knew this. And then they had these commercials where doctors would get on the commercial, the television commercial like Paul Malls. They'd be like, Paul Malls, as a doctor, I know that Paul Malls helped my patients digest their meals better, makes them more active, and keeps them fresh and focused. Paul Malls for your health.

It's amazing. That's honestly.

I know, but you don't know what you don't know.

Yes, I suppose.

I know that faculty companies also spent billions of dollars covering it up.

I was going to say they probably did know, and they probably were just getting their money.

Yeah, of course. And then I wonder all the things that I use in my house, like the spray Lysol, they're going to find out one day that that kills you, too. Then I'm going to be.

Like- Probably. Literally everything we own, or ingest, or use is killing us. So it's.

Whatever at this point. It's all over. Our little microbiodomes here are just getting destroyed by everything that we put into ourselves and the atmosphere and all that. But what are you going to do? I mean, it's just the way it is. What are.

You going to do?

Speaking of our little biomicrodomes, I saw the most interesting Instagram post I've seen in a long time. This guy on stage, Ted Talk. And as a younger person, younger than I am, I wanted you to know this information because I think it's going to be important for you growing up as a young woman in this world.

Okay, I'm ready.

Let me mansplain to you. Let me talk down to you. Oh, great. Super. As both your friend, your boss, and your co-host. I'm going to talk down to you, mansplain now. Okay, so listen to what he said. He said that if you are alive in the year 2023 and you are at least 18 years old, let me give you the breakdown of what's going to happen in your life with your time that you have left on this earth. If you live to 90 years old, if you live to 90 years old and you are over the age of 18 living in 2023, you will likely use one-third of the months available in your life, the remaining months on your life. One-third of those will go to sleeping, okay?

I love that.

Another third will go to the following things: working, schooling, driving, chores, showering, and shitting, okay?

Is that.

All in one? That's all in one. That's one-third right there. All those things are one-third. I couldn't believe you. The average person will spend, I forgot what it was, 30 months in traffic or some shit like that. I don't know.

Yeah, the traffic ones are crazy.

Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. Okay, 93 % of the remaining time of your life, you, Christina, and me, and my kids, and everybody else here stuck in this fiery hellhole, is going to be spent interacting with a digital device with a screen. 93 % of your, quote-unquote, free time where you're otherwise not occupied with something, I guess, more important than screen time or sleeping is going to be spent on a mother fucking screen. I know this is true. It rings true in every particle of my body. It rings true because I think I'm well on my way to spending 93 % of my free time on a screen, looking at a screen, touching a screen, feeling up a screen, making love to a screen, something like that. I am definitely on my way to killing most of my remaining free time on a digital device. How do you feel about.

This information? I think that's so true because everything I do is related somehow to the screen or the internet or whatever, because I'm a really big reader. But even that, I read mostly on my Kindle, and I get my books digitally through the library most of the time. So I use the app on my phone to go to the library, and I get my little thing, and I send it to my Kindle, and then I... Oh, my gosh, this- -You can do this? -i changed your life, Brian.

-you.

Can do this? Really? Seriously? -oh, my gosh. It is an app called Libby. Okay. And you just need a library card. It's free because it is the library. You just need a library card and you go in and you attach it to your library card number. Interesting. And then you can borrow books. You can do audiobooks, ebooks, you can do magazines, which is really fun because I never want to buy magazines, but sometimes I like to flip through them. It would be fun if you had an iPad, I think, as well.

I got an iPad.

Because it would be big. Whereas looking at a magazine on my phone, I'm like.

Zooming in. Yeah, me too. I hate looking at those magazines. The flippy magazines on the phone drives me crazy. They never work as intended.

But it's really fun, and you can just send it straight to your Kindle. And obviously, you do have to wait sometimes. I'll place a hold on a book and it's not available for three weeks, or sometimes it's three months or depending on the popularity of the book. So even when I'm outside on a walk or on a run, I'm listening to an audiobook that I got via my phone.

It's.

Me too. It's me too. It's via the screen.

Even when I'm doing the most healthy thing that I do, which is run. I like to run. I don't know why I like to run. Another thing that's going to kill my knees and leave me in the... Anyway, when I run, the most healthy activity that I'm doing out in nature, feeling good, fresh air in my face, I'm listening to something on some digital device. I've got that earphones in my ear, my watch that I'm constantly looking at. I noticed, like when I was running last year, I'm obsessively looking at my watch to see how fast I'm going, how far I've gone, when I'm going to...

And you know what? I understand that.

I'm good. I started to take the watch off because I'm like, This is ridiculous. I have a phone in my pocket that can do the same thing, and I don't need to look at my watch every 15 seconds. That's not the point. I'm not fucking Michael Johnson. I'm not going to win any Olympic medals for my running. Why not just enjoy the run no matter how long it takes or where we're going or how fast I happen to be doing a mile? What am I thinking?

I totally get that because I do like to monitor my heart rate, and I'm trying to better my cardiovascular health specifically. So I am trying to run within a certain heart rate range, and it's very hard because I have to go a lot slower than I think than I want to go. And so I spend the whole time being like, Oh, am I at 1:30? Am I at 1:30? Or whatever, being like... And then I have to walk. And then I have to go. And so sometimes I will just literally not look at it at all. I take the pace alerts off. I take all the alerts off, and I'm like, I'm just running for fun right now. Yeah, good for you. But I will say my favorite way to run is with a buddy when I can just chat the whole time.

Yeah, I run out of breath when I do that. Me and my friend, Raphael- Well, it's good for you. Yeah, it's good for me?

It's good for you to learn to talk and run because it's really good for your health.

I was just reading, and I don't know how we got on this subject, but who cares? That's a commercial break in a nutshell. I was reading, or Asard was reading, she was telling me that Taylor Swift, the second that she started to think about putting together this era story- I saw this, too. -got on the treadmill and started singing her songs day after day, night after night. She would just get on the treadmill. She'd run and she'd sing her songs.

Now- Well, that's what Broadway stars do.

Oh, they do? I've done.

That for years.

Well, listen, the Broadway bitches have a good... They know that you have to be up there and singing and running around and remembering your lines and all that other stuff. But I will say this, and I know this is going to be controversial in some circles, which circles? I don't know, but I'm about to probably start some controversy in somebody's life. My daughters, my wife, they're now obsessed with Taylor Swift. They got that movie. The Aries to her movie came out on Amazon. We rented it. It's like $180 fucking thousand for 24 hours of watching 48 hours, whatever it is. It's been on, or it was on last week for two straight days, just the girls were watching it over and over and over again. Even my son was getting into it, dancing and doing all the stuff. But I noticed that I think Taylor is lip-syncing at certain parts in the concert. Now I'm not knocking her. When you're doing a concert like that, you got to catch your breath at some point when all that intense running. But I do notice that the way that she moves her microphone around does not jive with what I'm hearing.

I'm really keen on this. They might be overdubbing it for the movie, maybe.

That's what I was thinking. I was thinking for the movie, they probably took the best take and filled it in.

I thought the same thing.

Yeah, I would bet that that's what happened.

And I saw Astrid's arm in that movie because we were there. Dream come true. When they were filming it with this one part, I managed to stop it and find it, and it's Astrid's hand is up in the air. We know it's Astrid's hand because of the bracelets that she was wearing. I was like, wow, that's exciting. You're in the movie. That's so funny. Yeah, we want our residuals, but I don't think they're going to send them to us. I don't think so. No, and.

Then I guess- She might be a billionaire, but you don't become a billionaire by being generous, do you?

No, you don't become a billionaire. You become a billionaire by selling multiple versions of the same fucking album in different colors for extended pricing so that you can absolutely take every last penny out of your fans' pocketbooks. And this, I don't care for. I don't care for it. I just don't. I think it's a little much. And I.

Know that it's- The whole thing is like you cannot be a billionaire and be ethical.

No.

You.

Just can't. Well, I mean, you can be ethical, but you can't always do ethical things, right?

You can't- You can't have gotten that money in a completely ethical way.

No, not 100 %. I don't care. I don't think so. But I'm not here to argue how people make their money, because I think that's an exercise in futility a little bit because that's just capitalism. It's just going to work that way. And if there's a better system, and I'm sure there is. I can't wait for it. But at this moment in time, this is how it works, right? And so Taylor taking advantage of every opportunity to get her bag, cool, whatever. But this little thing really makes me a little bit upset about Taylor Swift. I realized that there is a whole machine behind her that the tail is definitely wagging the dog somewhere. I don't know who that is. Her PR people, her managers, whatever. But this one little thing really made me upset when I learned it, which is why do you have to put out six different colors of the same album and then market collectible, only put out a few of them.

And have people try and.

Collect them. Yes, and then try and upcharge this particular record is $119.

It's taking the piss. It's taking the piss. 100 % taking the piss. I just can't really get behind that. You know what I can get behind? I do love me a little bit? I'll tell you, on Swift. Oh, man. I also just like, it's okay to have critiques of your favorite artist. It's okay to not be 100 %.

It's like my mom used to say, I love you, but I just don't like what you're doing right now. You know what I'm saying? I can understand. You know what I can get behind? One hundred %, though, Christina, is you saying, Taking a piss. I like this. I'd say, You know why I like this because it's something the British people say a lot, and I love it. I was watching... Have you seen The Mighty Boosh? No. Okay, this is probably not something you're going to be into, but The Mighty Boosh is like this, probably not. Probably not. It's like Piwi Herman. Like an adult Piwi Herman, even though Piwie Herman's playhouse was... I'm not an adult in the first place. It's like an adult version of Piwie's playhouse on BBC. To me, it is like the ridiculousness is so funny sometimes. But in the show, they often say this, Fair do's, instead of Fair play or Fair enough, they say, Fair doos. I was like, That is so brilliant. So now, as a rule, on the commercial break, anytime you want to say Fair enough, it's Fair do's. Anytime someone is being a bitch, you say you too are taking a piss.

If we could just start talking like - Taking the piss. If we could just be a little bit more like the Brits, I think we'd be okay.

Yeah, I'll do my best to influence you in the best way. As you know, this is my familial legacy.

You are a a through and through.

I'm doing doing my best to get the language in there.

Christina, I think all of our listeners in the UK can agree. You're doing a great job of flagbearing on behalf of our EU listeners, of which there are four.

I appreciate it. Not in the EU.

Anymore, but I I it. Yeah, it's still in my heart, though. -it's insane. -in my heart, you're you're.

Still in the In my heart, I can still go to Spain with no problem for a.

Long time. I know. But in reality, you have to stop by at least two checkpoints, just letting you know. Yeah. Okay, hey, let's do this. Let's take a quick break, and then we'll come back with more fun. Christina sitting in Chrissy's chair today. As As is out again for family reasons, for good reasons, by the way, for good reasons. We'll be back.

Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job. Now, go to tcbpodcast. Com for all of our audio and video content and get your little booty over to YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak for fully edited video episodes. Want to chat? Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb3. Too embarrassed for your voice to be on the show? We understand. Text us instead at 855-tcb-8383. Can't even do that? No worries. Just follow us at TikTok, at TCV Podcast, and on on TikTok @tcb podcast and on @thecommercialbreak. And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show.

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Commercial break. All right, we're back. I'm here with Christina virtually because I got this. Because I'm I'm quarantined. Whole house is is Hey, did you hear about this story of this little page that worked for an assistant that worked for Ben Carden, the the senator.

He formed- The twin? The twin in the Senate?

Yes, the twin in the Senate making anal sex movies in the hearing room where they actually question potential Supreme Court justice. Honestly, I.

Am obsessed with that. That. I think that was a bold move, and you know what I say to that? I say, Go off, Queen. If Bill Clinton can do it, why.

Can't we? Hey, hey, hey. I'm not saying Bill Clinton should have done it either, but here's what I am saying. I don't know if I feel quite as liberal as you about this.

But here's- Oh, I just think.

It's funny. Here's what I do. I think it's hilarious, actually. I saw some of the the and I was like, like, you go. I mean, that was the full Monte. Monte.

And did not see the video, but I did see, obviously, the screenshots of the video.

I saw the video where where it was they blurred out the hot action that was going on. But you can tell it's definitely two men having.

Sex on a table. I love that for them. I think that is hilarious.

If the mother fucking, whatever it is, 600 people that are up there supposedly making laws on our behalf and bettering the country can't do a mother fucking thing for six goddamn years, then why not use the room for hot, man sex? That's a good point. That's all I got to say. But it's a good use. Amen.

Yeah, they're not doing anything else worthwhile.

The only thing that makes this better is if George Santos was the guy bending over the table. That's the only way that this is better.

That would have tipped me over.

The edge, I think. Oh, my God. I think of the United States Capitol, and I'm not precious about it. I don't revere it like a church. But I do think that we should have some, I don't know what you call it, deference to what's going on up up there as running the country and essentially setting the tone for the entire world. But this guy just broke it all down for us. He was like, Nope, not the first one to have anal sex. Not going to be the last one to have anal sex right here in this room.

That's the truth.

Where are the security guards?

Who's hanging out? Yeah, how did they get in there? Are there no cameras in there? What's going on? I feel like if they could get to that point and not be getting in trouble or getting kicked out, isn't that.

Your fault? You're inviting it, you know what.

What I'm saying? It just feels like-I agree. I don't know. I got you. As I have to say, that feels.

Like your fault. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure what my therapists would say about.

That one. No, it's definitely not a healthy outlook. But I like to say that when I want to defer blame, of course. I love it.

Listen, I agree with you here. There's no cameras, no security guards outside. No one walks in for however long they've been sitting in there having a second. No one says a fucking word. The only way that we know about this is because one of of the parties involved decided to delete that fucking video. Video.

And know they did. This has definitely happened before.

Oh, yeah, God, please.

You guys are fools if you think this ain't happening all over that town.

I had a friend on a college. She was like, I know, I had one one friend I had. Did you notice I said had? Whoa. Sweet, dude. You're awesome. Amazing. I had a friend out of college. College. She goes and she a job as a DC tour guide, but not like a tour guide driving a bus or big crowds or something like that, private tour guide. In her job as a private tour guide, she would often interact with the the dignitary. Who were important people in other countries would come. Then somebody at somebody's office would call her up and say, take them on a tour of DC, the important parts of DC. Dc. And knew this place inside and out, backward and forward, just like this guy does, inside, out, backward, forward. If you pick up what I'm putting down, my DD DD I'm with you. My DD canters. I went up there one time, and she literally parked half a block from the super restricted zone. She parked, just like that guy's parking in your house. Honestly, what the hell? The landscapers are always causing trouble.

It's probably FedEx. They're always causing trouble. But it's directly outside my window. I'm so sorry.

No, it's okay. Are you recording in your bedroom?

Yeah, my sister's my.

Guest room. That's your guest room. Are those live plants that are up above your head? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That looks really good. Thank you. I like having live plants. I need to move these.

Paintings closer together.

Christina has. Has. Christina got her bed then above her bed is a shelf, and on that shelf, I don't know, three, four plants that look really healthy.

There's a lot.

Going on here. Christina, I applaud you. I'm surprised any of my children are alive, let.

Alone the the plants are alive. I don't have children, so I have more time for my plants.

Fair enough. I have one Christmas Christmas that's made it 15, 20 years.

Wow, is it blooming.

This year? It It You know when it blooms? Blooms? Is it I'll tell you when it blooms. Is it November? No, it doesn't bloom in November. When I had the plant, it was given to me as a house gift right before me and my ex-wife moved into our house. We're probably talking closer to 20 years now. That plant, it never bloomed the first Christmas. It never bloomed the second Christmas, the third Christmas, the fourth Christmas. After I got a divorce, I started dating a girl, and the girl started coming over to the house more frequently. When she came over, the plant bloomed. Now, I didn't put two and two together until I moved to the next place. Didn't bloom on Christmas, didn't bloom again for another year. I started dating a woman. She started coming over and spending time at my house. It bloomed again. Then I started thinking to myself, Okay, Okay, is a little weird. I start dating dating somebody. Start moving their stuff into my house, and it blooms. Did the same thing when Astrid came around, and now it blooms at random random times, sometimes it'll bloom twice in a year, which I hear is a little strange.

Never does it on on Christmas, I don't know. She She when she she I don't know. She does her thing.

That's crazy. You know what she is?

She's a girl's girl. She is a girl's girl. She's a girly girl. She's a girl's girl. That girl energy just sets her off. I don't know.

Yeah, she said, screw you, Brian. I am here to to for the ladies.

You know, it's like the the that women, if they spend enough time with each other, will cycle. All of them will cycle at the same time. That is not a myth. Is it not? No, I'm kidding. That is the truth.

I was like, I'm a beta bitch. My uterus just flies to whoever's closest.

I.

Really can't help it.

Isn't that weird? Is that a strange thing? Yeah, it.

Really throws me off because if I start, it's just.

Like- Yeah, you start messing up.

I'm such a little beta. I don't know. My body just wants to be a follower.

I don't know. I got 15 women in this house. I don't know what's going to happen when they all get to age of consent. I think it's going to get a little weird around here.

I mean, I've got two sisters, so I.

Get it. It. This, this, this, 15, 20 years on, and she blooms when she blooms. I think everyone's going to be on the same cycle pretty soon. They're all going to to at the same time. This guy who goes in and has sex, here is my overarching thought on this. First of all, it's crazy that he got away with this because it tells you exactly what's going on inside that capital. Nothing. No one gives a fuck. No one gives a shit. No one's watching anything. Number two is that you know, and you know, and you know that one of those two released that sex tape because they knew this was going to happen. They were going to get noticed. They were going to have a little 15 minutes to shower themselves in fame and hopefully jumpstart their career in some way, shape, or form. Because when you put a video together like that, like I may or may not have in my past, when you do something like that, when you do something like that, you know to keep that thing as tight as possible. It's got to be in a secure location, on a secured server, locked away with multiple fingerprint identifications, eye scan.

You cannot let that stuff float out there on the internet because it just never comes back to you. Never comes back to you. You. So only one of two ways that this happened, and it's likely that one of those gentlemen released that video. Why would they do that? I mean, the 15 minutes of of I get, but don't you suspect that you might get in trouble if you're in.

The- Yeah, I don't know. I can't really seem to figure out their motivations at this point in time. I don't know if it was like they're approving a point or if it was like to make a little segue into.

A new new I think so, yeah.

Which is fair. I mean, government, not a great career, but sex work.

Works out. Hey, Hey, I was listening to this comedian, I forget his name. I wish I could give him credit. Credit. He says, I was reading the comments on an Instagram model who also does OnlyFans, and these guys were like, Fucking whore. Fucking whore. Put your pussy away. Blah, blah, blah. Fucking whore. Whore. And had this brilliant, and I wish I could do it justice, but I'm not going to. I'm just going to repeat what he said, paraphrasing. He said, Yeah, you get them, Chad. You're going to go to the oil oil and you're going to work 20, 30, 40, 50 years for the oil refinery, and she is going going to for OnlyFans. Guess what? Both of you are working for billionaires with way too much money that don't give a fuck about your personal feelings. Both of you are going to make a living doing what you're doing for the man. Both of you are getting getting but at least she's doing it to herself. So you know what? Chad, go do your thing. I was like, Holy fucking shit, dude, you're so right. You are so right. Good for him. If OnlyFans is the place where these kids go, great, fantastic.

Fantastic. But makes me ask a question. Do you think that it's possible? It's possible. That the reason why sex rates are declining, like we talked about last episode, the reason why meaning sexual activity rates are declining in the young people in this country is because they're afraid that that something, like going to be some digital fingerprint around the sexual activity that they they have, going to record them. Some weird shit is going to happen. It's going to be out there on the internet.

That's probably part of of it there is a lot of of I don't know what exactly to call it, but I guess I would say it's not revenge porn, but just people being inconsiderate and non-consent around that type of thing. So that is scary. That's a very scary thought. But I think also it's probably the availability of sexual media. You don't have to seek someone else.

No, you don't.

Get your rocks off, and you don't have to rely on your imagination. I don't know. I feel like that's part of it. But then there's definitely an aspect of digital media just having gone too far or us having too much access to be able to hurt other people.

I agree with you. I think there's two things. I think number one, there's a fear around it. It can be a scary thing. God forbid you get pregnant in America in 2023, and and you don't want you're not prepared for whatever reasons: health, medical, financial, emotional, whatever the reasons are. But then on top of that, you do have this availability of so much fucking porn. There's so much dick out there on the internet. You don't really need to go seek it out, because the other thing is that the world of sexual pleasure toys, dildos and pocket pussies and all that, they're so advanced. Why would you need to find find a human You can buy a sex doll for like a thousand dollars and live with her like some people do as if she's human.

The sex dolls are crazy. Crazy.

I'm like, Oh, my God, they're crazy. I tried to get someone to send me one. Listen to this. It's like, I don't know, episode 50-60, and we do this episode about sex dolls. These guys that live with the sex dolls. There's one guy in particular in England who has a collection of 50 of them, and every one of them has a name.

50-50. Hes like, does he.

Use them all? He uses them. I don't know if he uses them all. We watched this whole documentary. It was like 30 minutes long, but he has a wife also, right? So he's got a wife. They both live with these sex dolls. They both dress them up. They take turns feeding them. I don't even know what the fuck was going on. I don't like that. No, it's it's No, it's really, really weird. But so anyway, so we do this whole thing, and then as a joke, I'm like, I've never even seen a sex doll in person. I've seen them being made on videos and stuff like that, but I never even even seen sex doll in person. I don't even know what they would feel like or look like, like their actual texture. If anybody has one, if anyone knows how to get one, send it to me. So this guy texts me a week and a half later, and he's like, Listen, I'm just buying my third sex doll, but my first one, I'm ready to give it up. If you want it, I'll send it to you. And I'm like, Fuck, you will.

The fuck.

You're going to be be me. You're a used sex doll? No, thank you.

You're a toxic, dumb fucking sex doll.

My God.

What are you thinking? Why would I want that? Who wants wants a sex doll? Although I'm sure you can buy them.

I don't think I understand sex dolls, and I don't think I understand the logistics of them because I've never had one. And I also don't have a penis, and I'm not... I have a big functioning brain that is away from said penis.

Yeah, fair enough.

I'm like, Hmm, I don't really know if I understand this. Are you fucking the doll? Are you... Well, are you coming in the doll?

Yes.

How do you clean it up?

There's a whole cleaning kit that comes with it.

It's like- Can you take the vagina area and pull.

It out? I think so, yes. And some of those sex dolls, yes. You can take off the vagina and the anus.

And- Oh, you take it off?

Yeah, you'd be like.

Pulling it out. I was thinking it would be like pulling a sock inside out.

Oh, Oh, God, the thought of that just gave me the willies.

Well, it's a doll. It's a it's a blow-up doll.

It's not a blow-up doll.

It's not a blow-up doll. It's not a blow-up.

No, it weighs 150 pounds.

Oh, my God.

I hate this so much. They are exoskeletons with rubber that feels like real skin.

Painted, hair. You know what it's giving? It's giving weighted blanket, giving anxiety. These are for the lonely boys who have have anxiety, and like, like, I a lady to just.

Suffocate me. To just lay on on Yeah, just put your big tits right in front of my face and just go to.

Sleep with me. What's it made of then? What does it.

Feel like? Like? I don't I don't know what it feels like, but I've seen videos. Videos. It like really soft rubber, the body is. It ends up in the skin, feels-.

Kind of tacky, like.

Skin skin I guess, yeah, tacky. You know how that plastic. Think of a ball that you squeeze at work, work, right? Of those stress balls. Stress ball. I imagine the the texture like that. That. Yeah, a little squishy, squeezey.

I don't.

Think I like this. Yeah, no, I don't think I would have sex with one. I know I wouldn't because I just don't know how you feel.

I don't know how you could maintain an erection.

Listen, to each their own, right? I mean, if that's what turns you on. Yeah, but for me. No, I don't don't think I could ever... I don't think I could get in the mood.

Exactly. I feel like I'd be too in my head because there's no one to talk to.

Yeah, sex is awkward enough without having it be plastic. You know what I'm saying? I think it's just.

Awkward enough. I think it's a texture thing for me. I think it's the fact that it's made of rubber and stuff and squishy, probably. Agreed. That I'm like, I don't think I'd be able to feel right about it.

I think it's like the dead, enact eyes that I think would get me. I wouldn't want something weird staring at me like that. Oh, my God. Imagine. I'm having sex with someone that can't move their eyeballs.

You could put a little sleeping mask on her and pretend it's like bondage.

That's true. True. I do that, or I could just turn her over and then not have to worry about the eyes. But then that's even more strange. I guess you could do that. That. And 150 pounds, I'm not strong enough to carry that thing around. It's going to have to be in a position. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to have to set it up and just knock it out and then be done. But just thinking about this, there is nothing, and I mean, nothing that turns me on about that. Not a thing. Because I just like a heartbeat. Heartbeat. I mean, the one thing that I request in my lovers is a heartbeat. That's all I request. Just a heartbeat. A smile. Well, I don't always get smiles, but that's for extenuating circumstances. These guys are... But I do do understand. I do understand. I understand that not everybody has swagger. Not everybody's got the riz. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.

I'm the head of Jizen and Rizon. You are.

The head of Jizen and Rizon. And so you do understand that it's not always easy for anybody, male, female, or otherwise, to walk into a bar, meet somebody, go through the dance, take them home. That's a whole dance that some people, I think, just really struggle with. They get blocked, right? It's like Writers Block. They get blocked. You do that for years and years and years. You're just lonely. You just want something to feel like a human being laying next to you. Now, it's not going to talk to you or tell you how great of a job you did, but I guess that's the point, too, is that you.

Just- just- I you get a little recorder, like the ones they put in Build acourse. And he was like, Great job, Christina. I love you so much. Then you put it in there and you press this little button and then you can spoon at night and you're like, Oh, I'm the best. I love this for me.

Your dick is the best, Brian. Thanks again for fucking me so hard. You almost knocked my fake pussy out. Good night, sweetie.

Love that. Thanks again.

This is the fourth time today. Thanks again. Remember to clean me.

Remember to.

Clean me. Me. Remember to.

Clean Don't forget to remove my pussy.

Remove my pussy, but don't use bleach. Remember what happened last time. Don't put it in the dishwasher.

Is not dishwasher safe.

Remember to put my dead, cold eyes in the laundry. Thank you.

Taking the eyes eyes out. Cold, Brian.

Well, listen, if this ever happens, if I'm the last man standing on Earth and I have to break into the sex shop, if I'm the last man, I guess I'm not breaking into anything. It's all mine anyway. But if I'm the last man on Earth and I have to break into the sex shop and get the sex doll because God God forbid no one's here to help me to have love with, then if that happens, I'm taking the eyes out because I just don't want those dead, cold eyes staring me. I don't even want the dog in the room. Fair enough. All right, let's take one more break. We'll get over our sex doll doll talk, and we'll be back with an even more interesting story than anal sex in the hearing room of Congress. We'll be right back.

Okay, Brian, let me give the people what they want. Our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB Podcast. If, like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more, give us a call and leave us a message at 626-ask-tcb-3, or send us a text, No sexting, please, at 855-tcb-8383. And, of course, go to to com to see everything there is to see. Now, let's hear from our sponsors, and then the show must go on.

All right, we're back. I'm here with Christina. Okay, are you ready for the most disturbing story of 2023? Hands down without a a doubt. The most disturbing story since the year 2000. I don't know what was since 2001. Let's put it that way because we all know the disturbing story of 2001. But this is highly disturbing. Disturbing. Caution. Okay, I'm- I'm not putting trigger warning for anybody out there that might be attached to their genitals or any other part of their body currently. Just listen to this. Here's the byline. Hotel worker cops to, quote, castrations byclamping, streamed on Goulish, Unok Mocker website. A worker at a Scottish hotel has admitted to participating in extreme body modification plots in which surgeries, including castrations, were carried out and streamed to paying customers on a website called Unok Mocker. I think I'm saying that correctly.

Correctly. Because like like Unakmaker.

Yeah.

It's.

Oh, Oh, I never even thought about that. I I thought it was Unakmaker.

Was thinking, I was like, Is this a German website? Website?

Well, how it's said, E-U-N-U-C-H-M-A-K-E-R. I guess we can say that that Yeah, Unikmaker. Unikmaker. Okay. Okay. Unakmaker. Unakmaker.

Unakmaker. I am so glad that I am on this episode and not editing this episode because I would be screaming right now. Now. Com.

Is that spelled like Unik? I thought it was a German website because the Germans are into all this weird fucking shit. Unikmaka? Unikmaka. Unikmaka. Com.

Unikmaka. Com. We will mark your unik.

Unikmaka. Com. We slice off your peepie, little boy. Who wants your peepie? Bye-bye. Oh, come to unikmaka. Unikmaka. Com. We take out your anus.

Oh, wow. Taking Taking.

It We removed your anus. -we taking it there.

We've had to remove your anus.

We managed to not be serious for two seconds. It's an incredibly terrible story.

I'm so sorry, but you you said I I said unakmaker. I mean, what was I supposed to do? I said I can't sit here and be like- Oh, my God. Yes, very serious.

Serious. Unic I should have got that one like six days ago when I found this story. That is.

Fucking classic Brian Greene.

That is a classic commercial break right there. Brian Greene is essentially the commercial break. Here we go. All right, ready? Yeah, I'm not going to try and say this guy's last name. I'll say Iain, 28, a Romanian national living in London, is standing trial with eight alleged co-conspirators who prosecutors say engaged in up to 29 incidents of extreme body modifications on 13 victims who had various body parts removed, including through through by clamping. This is according to the BBC. The alleged conspiracy is said to involve goulish subculture, in which healthy body parts, often the genitals, are either surgically removed or damaged to the point where medical intervention is required, usually involving amputation by a physician. The defendants are all alleged to belong to a bizarre collective in which men voluntarily remove their penis and testicles to become what adherents call call or as in genital nullification. So, nullos is short for genital genital footage of the grizzly procedures was allegedly broadcast on a paid subscriber website called called UnicMaker. Or UnicMaker. Unicmaker.

I removed my. Streaming now.

On on com. Yes, my little blueberry. I'm cutting them off.

Oh, my God. Okay.

5.99 per month. The paid website called UnicMaker, operated by a a North London resident, Marius Marius 45, the alleged conspiracy ringleader who is said to have generated up to $250,000 for group members from the broadcast's over the six-year plot. Gustavison, who was in a wheelchair due to his own amputation, told the Irish Independent Newspaper in February of 2020 that he willingly had his leg, penis, and part of his nipple removed by the group because he wanted to look like, quote-unquote, a Kendahl downstairs. He told the paper that he had performed similar nullifications on 58 other other and that he stored the excised genitals in a freezer or an alcohol on his property. Okay, that just goes on to talk about the court case.

Case.

Shit. Holy shit is right. Now, I have heard of this. I have heard of people that need to take off their leg. It's like they can't have it on them. I've watched documentaries on this. They cannot take it. They just... I don't know. It'd be like if you had a pimple that just would never go away, you had to get rid of it. You had to find a way you can't stop it. I don't want to feel it. I don't want to stare at it. I don't want to look at it. I just don't want it there. But they're leg. But this guy takes it to a whole other level. He is literally creating Unix by body modification, but so extreme. I went and I did some investigation on both the website and this ring of people who who doing this. The reality for a lot of the people who are getting this done is they are requesting that this be done. They are involved in the consent of this being done. The reason why it's such a big deal is because oftentimes these nullification, I I don't what you call call rituals, they go wrong to the point where the ambulance has to be called and they have to finish it off in a surgical room.

They're costing everybody a bunch of money and time, and they're putting lives in serious danger. If you're going to take off your wink-wink, you better have a doctor in the room. Wink-wink. If you're going to take off your twink-wink, you better have that thing sterilized or something. You can't do it in the basement of. You know what I'm saying? Unik-moker is not the place where you go to have this done. It's a surgery room where you have this done by professional doctors. But of course, they will not do this. In the documentary that I watched, this guy was on so so hell to take off his legs, both of of was so hell bent to do that, that he was sticking his legs into ice baths for hours and hours and hours at a time, hoping to cut off enough circulation or get them frostbitten enough that there would be no choice but to do it. In another part of the documentary, this guy wanted his leg cut off so badly that he was putting weird objects into his leg, hoping that it would cause enough damage to the nerves and to the muscles that they would have no choice but to take it off.

This is a terribly disturbing trend that I'm sure has been going on since the birth of time. This is probably something. It's obviously something. It's a mental thing.

That must be such a painful way to live.

I can't imagine being.

So upset with.

My dangle-dangle that I'd want to just cut it off. Now, I think it's a different story if you're want to to transition, a different story. I think that has to do with the the whole, with the thing, with the whole, feeling whole, feeling better. Better. Totally. Yeah. You're not like you're transitioning to a Ken doll. You're transitioning into a woman or into a man.

Or wanting so badly to have your leg removed to feel like that is not part of your body must be really disorienting.

It.

Must be so strange.

There's got to be a medicine that cures this. I imagine- That gives me the heebie jeebies. -it's vicodin related because I've taken vicodin. I don't give a shit about anything when I'm on vicodin. These people need to have special exceptions and let them just take as much vicodin as they need to to feel okay with their extremities. I can't imagine getting to a point where I need to take an extremity off. Remember that movie? What was it? Two and a half days, 48 hours?

49 and a half hours? It was 127 hours.

Hours. Hours. One hundred and twenty hours. That movie is so disturbing to me. I watched it. Who was the guy? Guy? A guy. Guy. A creepy guy.

James Franco, who who coincidentally, in an episode of 30 Rock, was playing himself who had a relationship with a sex doll.

Oh, I think I saw this episode. I think I saw this episode.

Yeah, it looked a lot. And him and Tina Fahey's characters start like a PR relationship.

I would like to say, just like a good episode of 30 Rock, that this all comes together and fits nicely because I planned it that way, but that's not at all how it happened, just so you know. And every commercial commercial listener understands.

Yeah, they get it. They get it.

This is a nightmare of mine that you wake up one day and just have to get rid of a leg. I was thinking about this the other night. That's really scary. Isn't it really scary?

Yeah.

Why do you think someone feels that way?

I don't know. I can only assume it's some form of of.

Mental- disorder or something.

Oh, perhaps. I don't know. I mean, I don't think I know enough about mental diagnoses diagnoses to have a guess. But again, I mean, it has to be mental, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a scientist.

No. But here's what I was talking to a friend about. If you get a leg cut off, what happens if you wake up one day and you're like, Oh, I'm cool with the leg. Can I put it back on? Once you do that, it's so extreme. You'll You'll ever have a chance to walk on two legs again if you cut off one of your your because you decide in some or fit of whatever that you need to get your leg cut off.

Well, I guess that's one of those things. I mean, it's not really allowed. You can't just decide to remove your own leg.

No, and I don't think it should be be allowed, I'm being honest, I think.

Think you - I I agree. I'm with you because it's dangerous.

It's terribly dangerous. It's against every ethic that a doctor signs up up for a surgeon signs up for you. You have to do.

No harm. That's explicitly.

Doing harm. Yes, that's explicitly doing doing harm, against the patient's better better judgment. If you go to a psychiatrist for five years or whatever, however long it is, and the psychiatrist then calls a medical doctor and and says person will literally not be able to survive as a human being if they continue to have legs, then in special circumstances, then I can see where a group of doctors gets together and figures out a a not for cutting it off, but for, I don't know, making it feel like it's.

Cut off. I don't know, for their patient, something.

I don't know. When I I was a kid, was a guy who did these comedy videos. He was a golfer, or he pretended to be a Scottish golfer. I don't know if you've ever seen these videos. He would put two shoes on his knees like he had had his legs cut off, right? And he would walk around and do these silly things. He was like a comedian. I forget what the guy's name name is, I always thought that it was funny, but I was thinking to myself that maybe they could go that route. They'd just tape themselves with some shoes on.

Well, I think what would be interesting is what if you did cut your leg off or have your leg leg and then you had phantom leg pain?

Oh, you're going to have phantom leg pain. I have phantom ball pain and I just got a vasectomy.

That's fake. That's fake news, Brian.

I know. I swear to God.

Oh, my God. Brian is so thirsty for attention. He needs to tell everyone that his balls hurt so bad.

I know. You should see me running around this house. I got like, Ball.

Don't kick me in.

In the I'm holding my youngest daughter. I am.

With whoever told you you need to wear a cup, you should just.

Be wearing a cup. No, I can't. It's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Chris, told me to get a cup.

You could wear a chastity belt.

Yeah, I could. Could. I mean, I'm not getting late right now, that's for sure. No one's having sex with.

This this Astrid will throw.

Away the key. Key. Astrid grateful. She's like, Could he have a vasectomy every other week? I am holding my daughter. I'm just bouncing her around, trying to get her to go to sleep. Sometimes when when she angry, she just throws herself around. She's trying to get out. She's getting irritated because she doesn't want to go to sleep. She takes that little leg of hers, which is not a little leg because my daughter's a small giant. I get it. She just right in my my like, I swear, Christina, I had to ice and lay down. Then I was thinking to myself, I am such a big fucking baby. I am such a big fucking baby. This is flu times 10, Brian. Brian. Stop like a big baby. Get up. Get out there. Act like an adult. You got kicked in the nuts. Your whatever it's called, your is hurting a little bit. You'll be okay. There's literally millions of men that get this done every year. Millions. You're going to be just fine. I'm going to be just fine. Everything's going to.

Be okay. It's so funny to me. Sometimes I am such a a I just don't believe men's pain, which is such a hot take.

It is a hot take.

It's a hot take take to Is it smart? Probably not, but whatever.

Well, I think that I think this is probably a very popular opinion amongst women. Women. And amongst.

Yeah, well, I think we just know pain. Pain. And so when a man is sick, I'm like, Are you, though? I treat them the way they've treated women for years.

Yeah, there is some scientific evidence that I read maybe about seven months ago, eight months ago, nine months ago. We talked about a little bit on the show that that men, often ignore brute-force pain, like like arm-breaking. Be like, Oh, it's okay. We're going to go to the doctor. But the smallest amount of pain, like a nondescript pain, like a flu, or a cold, or a vasectomy, whatever it is, yeah, paper-cut, that we interpret pain in a different way that makes us literally children. It makes us children when we get that pain. That's interesting. I don't disagree with that whatsoever because I'm a fucking fucking child I get sick, a child. I don't.

Do- The man flew for a reason.

It's called the man flew for a reason. I watched that woman go through 13 hours of fucking hell. She almost died on the table. I watch her and she.

Does- Three times.

-to this day, three times. Well, Well, for real. I'm not diminishing any of the experiences. I wasn't the one on the table, but I was the one watching it, and I'm telling you right.

Now it's intense. Yeah, but I'm sure out of the millions of times had had babies, all been truly horrific.

Horrific experiences. But my wife, still to this day, is like, It wasn't a big deal. And the three other people that were in the the her mom, her dad, and myself are all like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was a big fucking deal. It was a huge ordeal. And she's still like, No, not a big deal. I have to give her such mad respect for those little nerves of hers because they do just great. Great. I a cold and I'm in bed for seven days. I'm like, Oh, yeah. I don't want to get out of bed. I'm not feeling so good. I think we're just big babies, Christina.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I just don't have a lot of sympathy.

When you get the flu, though, what do you do? What's your thing?

I take medicine and I go about my day. I did have one day where I didn't have medicine when I had had and I had a crazy fever all day. And so I was in in and out of- Consciousness. -like was hot and cold, hot and cold. But then after that, I just took the medicine to reduce my fever, and I just got on with it because it's what.

You do. Yeah, that's foreign to me. I complain a lot. I take as much time as possible before I take any medication because, of course, I'm going to complain about the medication making me feel loopy. And then I just let myself run that super high fever so I can complain some more. You know what I'm saying?

That is so annoying. Whenever people are complaining about pain or a fever or or something, and includes includes because I will do the same thing. Of course, we'll do that. I won't realize that I have the means to fix this. Yes. I'm like, Why have I been sitting here literally dying for four hours when I could have just taken ivermectin and not been such a little little pussy ass.

Because I think at some level, we're all like, I'm tough enough to handle this. I don't need need this, Yeah.

Yeah. Or just like, I'm baby. I want to complain. Yeah, I.

Think.

That's- I.

Don't know. -said too. Listen, I'm never going to refuse an opportunity to cuddle up next to the womb of womanhood and complain a little bit because it it does-The womb of The womb of womanhood. -the womb of womanhood. Because it makes us feel, I don't know, comforted and important and the center of the universe is with us again because we are sick and we need all the attention now. It's just one of those things. I don't know, Christine, I can't explain it to you, but I understand it, and I agree with it. I agree with it.

I know I'm I'm Wouldn't hurt me to be a little nicer, though.

True story. But you can't argue with the result. The result is it doesn't matter if you're a little bit nicer, we're still going to be little bitches when we get sick.

True. True. So should I be nicer? Not going to.

Sorry. Have your fun. Dr. Phil said this. One of the few things I've ever heard Dr. Phil say that I might agree with. With. Said, if you really want to put a relationship to the test, it's not about going on a vacation and seeing if you guys can travel together. It's not about seeing whether or not you can meet the families and get along. It's about spend a week with them while they have the fucking flu. Then you'll find out if you really want to be a part of someone's life long term.

Yikes.

That's why I didn't bring you here today, okay? Yeah. All right, now you get it. Now you got it.

Yeah, I appreciate it. I really do.

All right, well, I got to go check out the the Unic site and see if there's any updated videos. I'm I'm.

Crying, throwing up about about Mocker. Mocker.

Mocker. It's got a picture that you would definitely think is is Mocker, by the way.

Oh, wow. We'll see.

I'll see if you could see this. You probably won't be able to see this. This is way too small. But the front cover is like this guy all tied up in ropes.

Oh, you're not pointing at.

The camera. There we go. Man, tied up in ropes.

Oh, yes, Unik Mocker. Unik Mocker. We cut off off wing-wing.

Your twink, twink, wing-wing is that what you said?

Your twink, wing. Your twink, wing.

Your twink, wing.

We'll leave the the winks for the guys on The Capital. All right, tcbpodcast. Com, that's where you go. You find out more information about the show. You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio, and you can get your free piggy-fronting sticker. You know how you do that? You go to the website, you hit the Contact Us button, you leave us your physical address, and we'll send one-off in two two to weeks. Don't worry, it'll be there way before next Christmas, I promise. Okay, people are going to get mad at me, but I have to admit I made a mistake. When I started announcing the piggy-fronting sticker was ready to be sent out, it had not even been sent to the printers yet. I thought it had, but it it If you asked for one a month and a half ago and you haven't received it yet, it's just because they're going out now. I made a mistake, and I didn't know until a week ago, and I waited as long as possible.

Ryan.

Is the problem. Oh, always. Heart. Heart. Love you all.

Love you, mean it.

Love you, mean it. 626, ask TCB the number three. That's 1, 626, ask TCB the number three. Three. Questions, concerns, content, ideas, told free from anywhere in the world. You can text us, or you can call, leave us a voicemail. Be aware that your voice might be used if you leave us a voicemail. Please don't leave any identifying information or any information like I just cut off my tweak if you don't want that said out loud. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok. For God's sakes, go to the YouTube YouTube YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak, as Dr. Phil would say. All right, that's definitely all I can do today. But Christina, love you. Best to you.

Best to you.

Love Love mean it. It. And to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christina and I will say, we do say, and we must must good bye. Yeah,

boy.