You're upset because you're jealous, period.

Jealous of what?

Your ugly leather.

Pants. Ugly leather pants.

On this episode of the commercial break, what kind of contract did they have to sign to get up there and dress like that and sing for you in that weird, strange song that you've put together? I mean, this is so wrong in so many ways. I think crowdfunding did pay for that. So fuck you to anyone that put money into Corey's crowdfunding. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the director of dastardly need, Kristen Joy. Holy best at you, Chris, and best at you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I've told this story so many times on the commercial break about me falling off stage when I was in that band. I just couldn't see what was going on. And the 15 shots of tequila ahead of time probably didn't help either, but I fell right off.

And the beloved smoke machine.

Yes, there was too much smoke on stage, but I told you guys that. Crank it up, baby. There's nothing quite like a smoke machine at a rock show.

I'm picturing you coming out, like coming out of.

Oh, yeah, coming out of the smoke. No one could see 5ft in front of their face because also at that time, you could smoke inside the bar. So everybody was smoking. I think I was smoking cigarettes on stage, actually, and my band members hated it. They were like, it's your instrument. And I'm like, fuck it, it's my instrument. I get to do what I want with it. But I parted the sea. I parted the smoke. And then I just went right off stage and fell down. There was no one in the audience to catch my fall. There's that one guy who stepped aside to make sure that I fell without hitting him.

I know, I'm picturing that guy, like.

That one guy.

Moving out of the.

Excuse, look out below.

So I'm just reading this story about, first of all, I do this, I interrupt myself in half sentences. But first of all, Chevy Chase is an international superstar. Maybe not lately, but he is a famous human being.

His past work.

Yeah, if he just did the vacation movies, he would be like one of the most famous people on earth. Because those are some of the funniest, stupidest, goofiest movies ever. Just like the commercial ring.

Fletch as well.

Fletch is great Saturday Night Live, even though he's only on for like a season and a half. But Saturday Night Live. I mean, the guy, he was in that one video with Simon and Schuster, shining the Garfunkel. Simon.

If you call me bitty bitty, when you call me, you can call me out. Call me out.

Right. Call me out. And so he's just like. He's such, so omnipresent when you talk about a certain type of comedy. And he was really known in Saturday Night Live for his Pratt Falls. He'd walk in and then he'd fall down and he'd hit something. So he is now doing, like, the convention circuit. He went to something called, like, the Christmas Con or whatever it is.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

In New Jersey, it's four days long. There's a lot of stars that show up to this, but none of them are of the fame level of Chevy Chase. And he's signing people's stuff for $150 and a selfie for $90. First of all, that seems way underpriced, but I guess how many people are looking on eBay for Chevy Chase signed stuff? I don't know. Maybe a lot.

No, I think that would just be for your own personal fun.

Are you even allowed to sell those? I don't know knows. But when you can get them for $150, you're not going to sell it for more than $150. You know what I'm saying? If I was there and he was there, I'd totally pay that just to meet Chevy Chase. He's also been known as quite an asshole sometimes, too. There's that. Yeah. There's a reason why he only spent a year and a half at Saturday Night Live. He went to this Christmas con. He goes to do one of these panels where all of the Christmas vacation people are going to be there, including Beverly D'Angelo and the other guy who turned into an asshole. Uncle Eddie.

Oh, yeah, he went.

He went way off the deep end.

Yeah, he was, like, squatting in a house.

He was squatting in a house.

He was following mother God and mother God and cult.

He was, like, way off the deep end, as was his wife.

He was one of those, in a weird way, I don't know why I expected anything. Randy Quaid, other than something great from Uncle Eddie.

Eddie. Turned out Uncle Eddie wasn't playing a character at all. Uncle Eddie was real.

Right.

And his name is Randy Quaid. But so anyway, they're doing this big panel. Chevy Chase gets introduced. He gets rolled out on a wheelchair for whatever reason. Yeah. But then he stands up and he starts talking to the crowd, because that's what he does. He's just weird like that. Right? He does these weird things that he thinks is funny and sometimes they hit and sometimes they miss. Like rolling out in a wheelchair when you're actually 78 years old, people think you're sick or something. So he gets up, he's standing, he's waving to the crowd. He's saying hello, and he dumps right off stage. He just falls right off stage.

Should have stayed in the wheelchair.

Should have stayed in the wheelchair is exactly what I was going to say. Should have stayed in the wheelchair. So two big surprises. Yeah. Hey, Chevy, you okay? And some people think it's because he does those Pratt falls, but no, he fell off stage.

He really went off to be doing that.

Yeah.

You can't do Pratt Falls at 72 years old or however old he is. He's fine. Apparently he got some ice and they helped him up and he went, whatever. But it surprises me. He's at the conventions. Then this Pratt fall or this fall that he actually took, that wasn't a Pratt fall. It reminded me so much of my own fall because it kind of looked like that. It looked like he was going to step on the next part of the stage and he just don't. Don't. Right down into the crowd.

It happens.

Yeah, it. Does.

That happen to Dave Grohl, too?

It happened to Dave Grohl. That's how he broke his leg. It's happened to a lot of people, actually. You don't understand. You get disoriented.

You don't understand.

You don't understand because you're not in that part of the business, Chrissy. Yeah. Maybe Jeff would understand a little bit more because he's around stages when those bright lights are shining in your face and it's a dark room, otherwise you get disorienting.

Yeah.

And you get excited.

Yeah. And get a boner. I got a Christmas vacation boner. No, you do. You get excited and you just start making moves that you shouldn't have. You're like Britney Spears on one of those TikToks. She does.

Yeah. Speaking of Britney, what is going on there? There's nothing really to say.

I don't think I love Britney. I want Britney to be well. I want her to be happy.

Everybody's worried. I think.

I think everybody's worried that this ends badly.

It seems unhinged, but, yeah, hopefully everything will settle down.

She is naked on that instagram. Every single photograph, which, God bless her, nothing wrong with nudity. That's her birthday suit. It's not like it's overly sexual. It's just. She just likes to show herself off naked. But every single video that I see, she's doing that same dance, which is that weird vogue thing that Madonna does. She's doing that. Sometimes she's got knives, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes there's someone else in there, sometimes there's not. But she's almost always topless.

She's lived a different life than most of us.

I have to agree there. It's hard to compare. It's hard to throw darts when you're not even standing in the same line. You know what? Yeah, so. But, you know, we get this a lot here with the big lights here at the commercial break. And by big lights, I mean the fan light.

Yeah, fan light does get bright sometimes.

Astrid's been complaining. She's like, God damn. I look at all of these other podcast YouTube channels and they all them look so crystal clear. Like 4d crystal clear. Wonderful. And then I look at you guys and it just doesn't look the same. It looks all fuzzy and weird. And I'm like, oh, well. That's why she's, like, showing me Conan O'Brien stuff. And I'm like, oh, well, Conan's got a professional studio. He's got these big lights that are professionally manned and all this. And then she reminded me that I actually paid someone to come in here and do the same thing and I still look like shit. I said, babe, we are not 1080p kind of people. You know what I'm saying? If we can go.

Need it to be a little fuzzy.

Yeah, that's exactly right. I said 720k is perfect. We like that. If you guys are using AOL to watch us on YouTube, that is perfect.

Preferred browser.

Preferred browser of the. Commercial break. Compuserve. Compuserve. The wave of the future sponsors the commercial break. Please follow us on compuserve. Compuserve. Who said that? Oh, Felicia was saying that she was on. What was Compuserve?

Compuserve was.

Yeah, I mean, I remember, but I don't remember what they did.

It was the company that did the.

Modems and the dialog server, stuff like that. Yeah, so many of those companies. AOL is still around. I still get people that give me their AOL address. I remember being at a conference.

That's embarrassing. I'll just say that the conferences are the worst, though.

Are you the worst?

So that's where we would get it, too, because I used to go do the conference circuit for a little while. Listener Brian and I have had many jobs.

Many jobs.

Many, many.

Between the two of us, I think like 70 jobs.

At one of my jobs, I did do a conference circuit. We would go to get this, the tow truck industry.

Oh, really?

Oh, those were fascinating. We would go to the one in Florida. We did Orlando. We did San Antonio. We did Las Vegas, and then we also did San Diego. And then we also did New Jersey.

Oh, God.

And the people at those conferences, and I'm not even talking about the tow truck drivers. I'm talking about the people.

Oh, you're talking about the tow truck.

People in the industry. Yeah. And I mean, it's across. The ones in the north seem kind know, mafia like. And there's a lot of restrictions on different roads and toll roads and how you can get.

It's all handled by the teamsters and the.

Down in Florida, you can only imagine.

Look, snakes biting my dick. I'm high on meth. I'm running around with a hatchet in my hand, ready to chop off the leg of a small child who decides he's going to read a book about gay.

And then, you know, again, Texas was its own thing. California its own thing. It was very interesting. As to human nature or just demographics? Demographics across the country. Anyways, part of the job was to get the email of these people.

A lot of aols. A lot of aols.

We were like, what?

Do you remember that one time that I went to the conference and the guy had done zero prep work on anybody that was sitting on the stage? He asked us to be a part of his panel and then completely blew it? He, like, wrote three sentences about each of the people that were on stage. And listen, none of us are Conan O'Brien. He doesn't give us some grand entrance. I'm not looking for somebody to blow skittles at my ass, but I would like you to at least get the name of the podcast that I have. Correct. When we're at a podcast conference and he says the commercial breaks with over 300 views per episode, and I'm like, 300 views per episode? What are you looking at? And then I realized that, yeah, that's our YouTube channel. He's right. But he gave me, and I never forget it, he had a card, and he had one of those cards that's multicolored with multiple different businesses on it, front and back. He had a recommendation. You know the quotations, like on a book where it's like, we just got Reggie Watts book here, and on the back it's got a quote from Conan O'Brien.

Well, he had a quote from his wife or something. It was, know he's the best salesman. He's a great podcaster. I listened one time, it was fine. That's the commercial break. I listened one time, it was fine. So he gives me the card and it has AOL on it. And so I say to him, this is before the presentation because I didn't talk to him after the presentation because I thought to myself, what an asshole. Get my name right, at least he says. And he called you Cristiani Hodley.

Oh, Christiani.

Christiani Hodley.

That could be my alter ego.

He does the commercial breaks with over 300 views on every episode. With Christiani Hodley, I'm like, okay. Everything about that was wrong, but okay.

I can work with it.

I can work with this. Actually, that's more promotion than we've ever gotten. So thank you. Hey, it's Brian Green from the Briggs with over twelve listens on every show. So he gives me this card and I was like, oh, AOL, you're still using AOL? He goes, I'll tell you what AOL is best thing, best email server ever had it since AOL became a thing. And I've never had a problem. And I'm like, you've never had a problem because you're the only customer they have. There are literally 300 people working on your behalf over at AOL. AOL doesn't exist anymore. It's not a thing.

No.

They merged with Time Warner, then that got dissolved. I don't know what's happening.

I don't know.

AOL is not around anymore. That's just the reality. I mean, it's around. They still have an email service, but who uses AOL? Gmail is the universally understood email address preference, personal email address preference of almost everybody. You got to have a Gmail address. I mean, at least get a Yahoo address and seem like somewhat past 1991, you know what I'm saying? I still have my Yahoo email address and I logged into it one time and I had like 62,000 unread emails. It had been a decade since I had checked it and not one email was from anybody that I knew. You know what I'm saying? Like, I went back to go see if somebody had emailed me. Not one person had emailed me. I'm like, I was less popular then than I am now and I'm pretty unpopular now. That's amazing. So that AOL email address is just a sign that you're behind the times. But Compuserve is even before that, Compuserve was. And speaking of those conferences where you go, when I went to one of those podcast conferences, I don't know if you remember me telling you, but in the same building in this shitty roach motel in Las Vegas we were at, there was the National Hardwood Flooring association, and those people were fucking awesome.

They were coming to our podcast, like our speeches, because no one was going to the speeches because it was a terrible conference, right? In a terrible place where no one wanted to be because they knew it was terrible to even show up. So these people were filling our rooms and clapping for us and stuff because they just had extra time on their hands. So how many hardwood floors can I look at? I already know, right? And they were coming in, and they were clapping and being excited about it. And I thought, what a cool thing to do. You see, the poor people over the podcast conference are really having a hard time. So you go and you them out. Yes. I thought this is just the coolest thing in the world. I do think those conferences, there's movies about this, right?

No, I think there should be movie about this.

There is a who. Not Steve Carell, but the other one, who's the guy that was in. He was in the office. He was like one of the sales guys, Ed Helms.

Oh, Ed Helms.

Ed Helms did a movie about him going to a conference. It was called, like, Minnesota or something like that.

There should be something because it's the same people you see at the same conferences, and everybody meets at the same bar.

I know. You should absolutely have a television reality show that just goes to conferences. Certain conferences go to the comic cons, but then also go to the hardwood flooring convention, and then if you want to be really sad, go to the podcast conferences in Las Vegas. You'll be really sad. Go to those conferences and film the people that are there. Just get into their heads. I would love if they would just do a season about hardwood flooring conferences and then a season about podcast conferences and just get into the characters and find out what they know at their hotel rooms at night and who's doing blow and who's having sex with who. That would be so fascinating to me. That is something. TLC needs to get on TLC, get on a conference based reality show, and let's really uncover where all bastard children are made at conferences. Exactly where they are at conferences. Speaking of bastard children, last episode we were taking a look at the Corey Feldman musical era, if you want to call it that, the I need your money so I can be successful era of corey Feldman's musical career. And we started it.

The tour before the tour.

The tour before the tour. That's right. Not the tour he wanted to do, but the tour he knew he had to do in order to convince the big. What did he call them, wigs? Corporate. Corporate record people. What is a corporate record people, corey? There's no corporate record people anymore. Everybody's a senior vice president of music. I was a senior vice president of music for some label. My label, the 33 p. So we were taking a look at this. We're listening to him begging for money. But now I think we should really start to get into what he's actually doing on stage and in his music. So let's take a short break and we'll get back to corey feldman in our deep dive exclusive TCb exclusive. Corey Feldman's a bad musician. You heard it here last because everybody on the Internet has already done this. But hey, we're just catching up, guys. Give us a break. It's been a rough couple months, okay? We're trying to get back to normal here. So let's take a break and then we'll get back to corey feldman.

Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job. Now go to tcvpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content and get your little booty over to YouTube.com. Thecommercial break for fully edited video episodes. Want to chat? Leave us a voicemail at six two six. AsKTCB three. Too embarrassed for your voice to be on the show? We understand. Text us instead at eight five five. TCb 8383. Can't even do that. No worries. Just follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast and on Instagram at the commercial break. And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show.

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It's on the talk. This is probably one of the worst covers I have ever heard. Chrissy, are you ready for this?

I think so.

I was trolling on the Internet, as I do like to do. Check this out on YouTube.com slash the commercial break if you are so inclined. And let's listen to Corey and. Or let's listen to Jerry and Corey do this duet together.

Wow.

We are back with Corey Feldman and his band that now appears to have a new member. Looking good, Jerry.

You fit right. Okay, so let's make a couple observations for those of you that are listening. The band that Corey used to have was called the Angels. And it was all beautiful tall blonde girls dressed in angel outfits that were very revealing.

La Victoria's Secret.

Yes, exactly. Not exactly original, of course, either is angelic to the core. I don't even know what that means? Angelic to the core. But anyway, so now he's got a backing band. That is, studio musicians. I can only assume because the band with the girls was led by his former wife. Who he spent an exactly three months with. Which is. I think that's breaking a record. Unless you count my first marriage, which will lasted just as long. So we've got Corey and Jerry on the stage. Jerry, I'm going to guess, is six foot one. Six foot two. Corey is standing a proud five foot one. Five foot two with platform shoes on. They are both dressed like a bad white Michael Jackson impersonator.

Yeah. In leather.

In leather. With sparkles all over. I thought if I'm going to perform with the Corey and his incredible band.

That I better come correct.

Thank you for letting me. These clothes, everybody.

I really appreciate.

Can I say that Jerry O'Connell seems to be like the Nick Cannon.

Yes. Of white people.

Yeah. They're both everywhere. They do everything. They show up everywhere.

And you know what shows. Yeah.

You know what I like about guests?

He just knows how to keep his name out there. And he seems like he's having genuine fun every time.

And he's married to Rebecca Romaine.

Could you even believe it? Good for you. Jerry O'Connell, number one. Number two. He's in on the joke. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, he is.

He knows he's not Tom Cruise when he walks in the door. And he's not pretending. Yeah. I love it.

Like a rock star, buddy. I'm actually going to expect some great performance. Now, is everybody ready to see.

Because Jerry is a musician.

Yeah, because Jerry actually knows what to do with his voice. He's been practicing. Okay, let's also say that Jerry looks really good for 55. Or however old the guy is. He looks handsome. That guy is handsome. Chrissy, get me to that doctor I know. How do I fix my problems out of groupies?

Here?

Jerry and Corey now performing the classic stand by me.

Corey Feldman from the movie stand by me. Stand by me and Jerry O'Connell. How many times a night does the bass player stare at himself in the mirror and go, what the hell happened to my life? I used to be so young and hot and cool. The bass player is the typical 60 year old man. Trying to be relevant. Headband and leather all the way down. And I mean all the way down. I mean, all the way down. But he smartly puts those, you know, sometimes on the leather pants. They have ties. Like shoes do. Like laces, like shoes do.

He put a belt on yeah, he.

Put a belt and he has the laces in the crotch so we don't have to look at his dick the entire time. That's a smart move on this guy's. Yeah. By the way, I think my son plays bass better than sky does.

So now they're doing a photo montage of stand by me.

Yeah, they're just showing pictures from stand by me.

It's Jerry O'Connell, River Phoenix.

River Phoenix.

And Corey Feldman. Corey Feldman. And who was the other guy?

I don't know.

He was like the main guy.

He was.

He was the main kid.

Oh, yeah. But I can't remember what his name is. Which is no surprise for the commercial break.

And the moon is the only light we'll see. Jerry's like, yeah, no, I won't be.

It's painful.

Be afraid. I won't be afraid just as long as you stand stand by me and darling, darling.

Benny King is rolling in his grave right now. Awful.

Now they're hugging. They've got an arm around each other.

Yeah. I mean, when all else fails, hug each other and pretend like you're doing good. Yeah.

Like you're drunk at a party.

Only stand by me is not necessarily a party song, but okay, we get it.

Stand by me, stand by me. It's the guy that we look upon.

This is 33 p level singing right here, folks. 33 p level singing. I haven't heard anybody as bad since myself or the mountain.

They should crumble to the sea I.

Love how when someone's doing a cover and they use all these hand motions to make sure you know what the words to the song are. Like the mountains, he points up crumble. And then he uses a hand motion to let you know that the mountains are crumbling. See, he's trying to distract from his voice.

I won't cry. I won't cry no, I just. As long as you stand stand by.

Will Wheaton was the other one. Will Wheaton? Yeah. Who? Felicia Day has done a lot of stuff with our guests this week. Yep.

Jerry O'Connor. Come on.

Which everybody else in the back is.

Singing as there's everybody singing, trying to cover up for Corey's voice. And now, granted, maybe Cory had a show the night before and his voice was bad, but I don't think so because this is how he sings. By the way, the crowd is unusually into it, aren't they? Like, if I was there, I would be, like. I would have this quizzical look on my face. Like, what did I get myself into? And how did I get this show, tickets to the talk. It asked her. That's right.

Stand by me. Stand by me.

And for no apparent reason at all, there's the girl in the back that's playing the keyboard wearing a captain's hat that's gold and sequins.

Yes. Well, hey, you got to point out the most attractive one in the band.

Now they're doing a kick line, like a chorus.

That's right. Kick line together completely in character for stand by me. And the guitarist, what is he playing? I mean, this is a bing. What if he just, like, slayed it, like, slid on the ground, set himself on fire? The drummer kicked over the set. The girl playing keyboard just took it and smashed it over someone in the first row. Corey stage dived into the 60 year old, 70 year old crowd.

Darling, darling by me. Oh.

Sorry.

The sneeze. I was gonna mute it because I thought the sneeze is better than what's going on here. All right, you get the gist of this one, right? It's terrible. I mean, Corey is terrible, but the thing, they've got everybody paying attention. The reason why he's on the talk right now is because he was on the Today show, I believe, right when the pandemic started. If I'm not mistaken, he did a performance on the Today show that was mocked by every. I mean, it was roundly panned because Corey is so strange in this particular performance. And the performance of the song is ridiculous. And the song itself is ridiculous. All of it is ridiculous. And everybody either said, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to or they said Corey clearly is making a joke, but he wasn't joking. So let's take a look. Let's go way back to the. That's true. Let's go way back to the Today show. And this performance, I think this is right as the pandemic started, if I'm not mistaken, because I remember it coming out and you and I had talked about it, but we had never heard it.

Right. We never did it on the show, mainly because we only had the technology to talk into our MacBook pros. All right, let's take a look at this Today show performance. Oh, you have to have seen this performance. Corey dances across stage like a fat ballerina. What's that movie? Fantasia, the Mickey Mouse movie where they have the ballerina, elephants are dancing across the stage.

Yeah.

He's got his hoodie pulled all the way up over his face.

Black on black on black.

Yeah, it's confusing.

The girls are in the background the angels are in the background.

He's doing like an interpretive thing.

Well, what else would you expect from the great Corey Hayne? Corey Feldman.

Hit the club.

Hit the club.

It's a club. You should hit the singing lessons.

What?

You should do the club.

They're not playing this at the club?

No. Do you think? Yeah. Which club is playing this? None at the Feld mansion. They're playing.

Yeah.

This sounds like what a teenager makes in his bedroom when he thinks he's making music. And he just presses a lot of buttons at the same time.

It looks like he's lip syncing.

He is lip syncing. I'm sure of it. Number one. Number two, he just found three words that rhyme together and put them together on the ground. Yeah, we're going down. Don't you know the sound? No, I don't. Corey.

I love that city. Like Citibank City concert series is who's sponsoring this? They probably.

I think until that day.

We need to make a time for that one.

Charlie, it's me, CEO of Citibank who gave the green light on concert series on the Today show. Pull our cash now.

Just when you think it's all over, no hope. So what you gonna do? Every side we go what have you got to do? We got nothing to lose so baby, baby, let's go for it.

Go for it. Oh Corey. So many things wrong with this. I don't even know where to start. Let's start with the angels. What in the fuck are the angels doing? What kind of contract did they have to sign to get up there and dress like that and sing for you in that weird, strange song that you've put together. I mean this is so wrong in so many that I think crowdfunding did pay for that. So fuck you to anyone that put money into Corey's crowdfunding. There's just so much going on with this.

Drop the be.

You know what's a truth? I haven't. I mean, listen, at the end of the day, this is terrible music.

It's not music.

It's not. It's someone pressing a lot of buttons. That's what it is. Yeah, listen to the bass and to this weird technodroning that's going on. Just listen to that.

Oh I know.

We'll put a lot of raw in it. Give me more raw.

Oh wait, there is at least, I mean at least an angel back there djing with a Mac.

Laughing.

Giving a new name for djing. She's just pressing QQQ.

Senor good deeds until they become bad. They met your name with shame. They pointed out that you get. Nobody knows.

Why are you so angry, Corey? Why are you so pent up with rage here? I just don't understand. The lyrics are ridiculous and so are these girls. I feel bad for these girls because I know that they were probably just like, great Corey Feldman. Finally a gig. We have. Somebody with a name is going to get us on tour and we're going to do a bunch of stuff. And this is what they get. This is what they get.

They got paid and nobody's going to remember them.

No, I think the girls are the best part of this. They're actually playing their instruments and they see, I mean, they have to play his music.

Carry on.

I mean, it's like the girls at the bars that have the ridiculous outfits on doing the samples.

Yeah, that's true.

You do what you got to do.

You got to do what you got to do. You got to make your way in this world. Yeah. Listen, we're on the commercial break. We have no room to talk.

They have a better voice than he does.

Yeah, they do.

Let's go. We got nothing to lose.

No, it's done. No, I can't either. He's dancing like a weird Michael Jackson robot. What is he touching the ground? Sometimes he's putting his hand in the air a.

He's doing the twist.

Yeah, he's talking about the club. Yeah, he's doing the twist. This is so funny. I think this is so funny. All right, this is a good place to take a break. Let's get back to some Corey talking because I don't know how much more music I can handle. We'll be right back after. We'll be right back after these messages.

Okay, Brian, shh. Let me give the people what they want. Our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. If, like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more, give us a call and leave us a message at six two six, ask TCB three or send us a text. No sexting, please, at eight five five. TCB 8383. And of course, go to tcbpodcast.com to see everything there is to see. Now let's hear from our sponsors and then the show must go on.

All right, we're back with Corey Feldman retrospective.

Yeah.

Corey went on Drew Barrymore, I think Drew, the Drew Barrymore show.

You're so excited.

I know. My head's going faster than my mouth. There that thing is again. The Drew Barrymore show. And him and Drew Barrymore were child actors around the same time, so they interacted with each other on a number of different occasions. Corey shows up to talk to his old friend. However, he tells the most interesting story in the most boring way. They went out on a date. If I went on a date with Drew Barrymore, I'd make that the biggest fishtail I've ever told. I'd make sure I had it hummed in ring dinged, ready to go at a moment's notice, because that's the party stopper. When you tell about the time you went out with Drew Barrymore. Corey has had 40 years to figure this out, and this will most definitely put you to sleep. You ready to hear this?

Such a great intro.

Thank you. Yeah, but you're excited now. Is that good prep? Hey, listen, I'm just going for it, Chrissy.

Go for it.

Thank you for destiny.

Oh, God, I'm so happy to see.

You, I can't even tell you. We haven't seen each other in.

How long is it?

25 years?

You have not run in the same circle.

I would say Drew ended up on the other side of this coin.

Yes.

Last time I saw you, I don't partied.

We didn't party.

We got sober together. We got unsober together.

22 is his handle. Just, if you're interested.

Poor Corey Feldman. Even get that? Corey Feldman he's got at Sea Dog with two cheese.

Yeah, that's his handle, in case you're looking.

Oh, my God. I could just see him starting his Instagram account.

Damn. That was taken. Yeah, that one's taken.

That one's taken, too. What about C dog? Double D? 22.

You got to go 22 because Sea dog was already taken.

I know. They just put C. Feldman or contacted someone at Instagram for your name back. I wonder who's got the Real Corey Feldman.

Yes, I know. And I'm still, like, in the middle of what happened.

What happened?

No, no.

It's like, okay, so Corey just said, we got sober together, we got unsober together, then we got sober together again. I don't know if Corey is sober currently. I would hope not. But he stop there. Tell that story. Say something about that period of time. I want to know how you guys got unsober together. Can you please go over that? But they don't. They breeze.

Right.

I think he got unsober. I think she got sober.

Yeah, she got sober a long time ago. He got unsober.

That's why they haven't seen each other in 20 seconds.

We got sober together. I got unsober thinking about you. I got sober again while you weren't around. Then I decided to get unsover because you weren't around. She said, how long has it been? He said, 25 years, 300 days and 12 hours.

I can remember trying to figure it out. That's what happened.

We're always trying to figure it out until the day we die. Because life is an ongoing journey, right? And we try to learn and grow and soak it all in and hopefully grasp something, right?

Laugh track. Put in the laugh track. Yeah, Corey.

Everybody wants to grow.

Lesson life lesson 101. We're all growing. It's a journey. He said that like he surprised somebody. You see the look at his eye. He was like, it's a journey, right?

We were such kids together. Sometimes I'll say to people like we were just kids. Like it's a kind of a euphemism. We were in our 20s. We were kids.

We were literally kids.

Yeah.

Do you remember our first dates?

Our first date or our first days?

I think he meant to say first dates. And then he said first days.

No, tell me you really don't remember. Well, I might when you reboot the memory because I have so many memories.

Can I tell this story?

Can I put everybody to sleep? Do you mind? I've been practicing.

Can I? Kidding.

Okay. All right. So what happened was I get a call one day. My grandmother says, we got a call from Steven's office and the little girl from ET wants to meet you because she's got a crush on you.

Oh, yeah.

I did the biggest because she was like seven.

Yeah. That's not a date. That's going for ice cream with your friend. If that was the first date. I had my first date at four with Joey from across the street. He was so cute one day.

Oh, thank you. I didn't feel that way, you know, I didn't feel that way because I.

Was very insecure and you were not.

I'm a little bit, but I'm. I'm over it a little bit.

But that's what made me love you because I, you know, look at the.

Size of the platforms on his shoes. Look at how big those platforms are on those shoes.

Love matching them, though.

Yeah.

That's true of you. And I loved you as an actor and a human. But getting to know you, that's what I was always drawn to was your lack of ego. And we were around your lack of.

Intelligence and good looks and personality. That's what I was attracted to.

Many nice people. But many people who fell prey to self indulgence.

Right.

And you didn't.

Okay, so, Steven, what? Was there a weird cut there or what I've noticed about this after watching it one or two times is that they seem to be embeding the audience. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's an audio track. It's not real.

That's the least alarming thing about it.

This is true. The most alarming thing is we're four minutes in, and he still hasn't gotten to the good part. But you know someone in his office.

Yeah.

And they're like, yeah, so the little girl from know, Drew Barrymore. And so I'm like, yeah, I know who Drew Barrymore is. Of course. Yeah. And they were like, well, she's got a crush on you. And her mom was wondering if you guys would be able to get together and go on a little play date. It was like a cute little play date, right. And I was like, so I got.

An eight ball of cocaine. I came over to truth trailer, and we hit it hard.

Okay.

Yeah, that sounds fun. Let's do it. So we arranged for me, and of course, neither of us drove because I was still living at my grandparents. And you were living with your mom. Yes.

Years away from getting our licenses.

Yes, indeed. I was, I believe, twelve or 13. And you were ten or eleven. So that was the little gap there.

Yeah.

I meant it when I said kids.

Yeah.

We were literally kids.

Drew's like, yes. Get on with it. Yeah, let's move it along. We only got five minutes. You've killed three.

And it was so cute. So I remember taking you to the movies. I remember exactly which movie theater it was. It was the one next to the Gelson's parking lot. I think it's on Balboa. Yes, on Balboa.

I wonder if this is how people are when they're listening to an episode of the commercial. They're like, okay, get to the fucking point. You can't tell people which movie theater you went to because no one else knows that except for you, Drew.

And it's probably still not even there anymore and hasn't.

Of course it's not. Yeah.

Remember that they used to have that little three?

Remember cinemas?

Remember there was a sitco across the street? And when about a mile.

You remember?

You remember? And there was a mcdonald's here in Los Angeles. You remember they had an airport. You remember we were near the ocean. You remember my name was Corey back then. Still is today.

You remember right there. Right across from the Gelsons, and we parked at the Gelsons, and we walked across the street. And you put your little hand up for me to hold.

Drew is regretting that she allowed him to tell this story. Yes.

And I hold your hand, and we walked across the street. I don't remember what movie we saw.

But you remember the sitco.

Yeah. But you remember the Gelsons with the three on it. That's right. You don't remember a movie you saw, but you managed to remember the Gelsons with the three on it.

Oh, my God.

That was the first. And then after that, we just stayed friends.

Yeah.

And then it was years later.

Of course you stayed friends. She was eleven. She was eleven. What did you expect was going to happen? You guys were going to finish in Vegas loping in some ceremony before we actually dated.

Yes, exactly like dated properly. Do you remember going to the Academy awards together? I remember.

That is a story. Now tell it, Drew. Now tell us. Tell us, Drew.

Going. And so I was lucky enough to be your date, and I just threw on, like, a cotton Betsy Johnson dress off the rack. I don't know how much it cost. Probably $65.

It was probably more than I could afford to buy you at the time.

What? Is he trying to say something there? Yeah. This is all very weird, isn't it? For two people that dated each other and knew each other as children. Thank God we don't have that kind of friendship. Well, we probably do have that kind of friendship, but we just gotten past the awkward part.

I'm still thinking about the fact that they were going to the Academy awards and she was his date. Yes, but he was too ported by a $65 dress. I'm so confused.

Why was he too ported by a $65. No.

And why was he nominated for academy award?

I think stand by me was a nominated for the academy.

Okay.

Right.

And I remember getting there, and I remember seeing people in such designer duds, and I remember looking around and thinking.

That'S how they treated those child actors back then. Make the money for the parents.

Get all your onesie. We're going to the Academy awards.

Give me that check.

Give me that $100 bill. Where did you get that from? Give me that check. That's right. Before those laws were installed, those parents would take those kids to the cleaners. All of them. Not one good story comes from child actors from the or 80s or before.

That even poor Shirley Temple.

Oh, Shirley Temple. And then who's the other one? Liza Minnellia hangers. No. Wire hangers.

Very underdressed.

That is the worst laugh I've ever heard.

Yeah, bad.

And mine's bad. And his is worse.

I'm wearing a cotton Betsy Johnson dress.

Whoopsies.

But you know what? You were a kid.

Betsy Johnson.

What happened to Betsy Johnson? Sorry you had to wear a cotton moomoo to the academy awards. Thoughts and prayers. Yeah, thoughts and prayers.

And, dude, be like, get that kid out of here. She's not dressed properly. What does she know?

So cool.

Thank you. Well, you know what? I was wearing my safety pin jacket.

Oh, I remember. And a red shirt and your ray bans.

Oh, my God. They are showing a picture of the two of them at the Academy Awards. And Corey is dressed.

Tails.

Yeah, he's dressed like a concierge at Neverland Ranch. You know what I'm saying? He's got the whole Michael Jackson look going on again. Drew looks cute. She's got a little dress on with flowers on.

She does?

Yes, she does.

Like, I just thought we were having so much fun.

That picture, it's everywhere.

It's legendary.

Yes, it is. Not legendary. No. Kids, come gather around the fireplace. We're going to look at that. We're going to look at that Corey Drew picture again.

Oh, the Corey Drew picture. Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you for giving us the Corey legend.

Daddy, can we look at the Corey Drew picture again?

Can't look at it too much, kids. It'll burn your eyes.

Oh, please, please. We want to see Cory in his. I don't know. What is that? What is he wearing? Is that a tie or is that a ascot?

I'm not sure what that is.

It's legendary, dad. Everybody at school is talking about it. It's all over TikTok.

But it's not.

Absolutely. We were such the great little, cute little item. For, like, the three months we lasted or whatever, but it was adorable.

But we were so positive. You and I were such good friends. It's like we had that kind of relationship where they say.

Drew wants to make it absolutely clear that there's no shot Cory is getting back with her.

We were just friends.

Just friends. Besides that one time I let you go up my shirt. We were just friends.

Date your know, we were the embodiment of that. You were so.

I don't know about dating your friend Drew. I don't know. Is that a thing? Do we do that thing? We should ask the young kids what they're doing.

Mind. You were such a safe place for me. And we always hung out with your friends. And you had an apartment. And it was just a really important place for me. And the memories are so vivid.

I remember. So here's the other part of the big memory, was that you were already getting your life together, and I was.

Although not you were getting your life together. And I was in the bathroom doing cocaine.

Yeah.

Safer than probably most of the Hollywood people around us at the time, but I was still going through my trial.

So you got spiraling. What are you doing at 13 years old? Was he really that into drugs back then?

Yes.

Wow. That is insane, actually. And I know Drew was doing cocaine at, like, nine. Wasn't she with her mom?

She was early.

Yeah.

Sober first. You got your act together first. It took me a few years after.

It took me a few years afterwards to think about whether or not I was going to do drugs. And I decided, yes, I'll continue to do drugs.

Well, then I got it together. I got it together. Work in progress.

You know what I'm saying?

The point is that we actually did take a moment to catch up and be on the same playing field because you had it. So I'm so grateful to see you.

Me, too.

To have this.

Me, too. I'm so happy.

Wow. That interview yielded zero headlines, and it was not. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, you go on the Drew Barrymore show and you've got really interesting stories and you managed to tell none of them.

Yeah.

What happened there?

I don't know, but I don't think he's coming back.

No.

He'S making a push here. He's pulling out all the stops.

He really is.

Come on. He dated. We've got this legendary picture. I can do your show, right?

Yep.

And everybody's letting him. He's doing the circuit, but no one's asking him back.

That's right. The Today show let him back because they had to.

Donald did the one thing.

That's right. He was on Steve o one time. Yeah.

That's best to you.

Best to you. Corey.

Corey.

I do have a soft spot in my heart for Corey Feldman. I don't know why, but every time I see him on stage, I think to myself, what are you doing? But, I mean, he's making money is what he's doing. And you know what the truth is? If he came to Atlanta, I would go to his show. That's the truth. Because I also want to see the shit show. I also want to see the circus. And we did ask him on, but we got an interesting response. So there you go. We'll see TBD. Guess the kids say TBD. And speaking of TBD, TCB podcast, that's where TCbpodcast.com, that's where you go. You find out more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location, tcbpodcast.com. Hit the contact us button if you want your free Teresa caputo piggy fronting sticker. We did not actually use her name or her likeness, just to be clear about that, but the piggy fronting comes from a Teresa Caputo video. If you want that piggy fronting sticker, it's free to you go to the website. There's a contact us button. The drop down menu says, I want my sticker.

Give us your physical address if you want us to sign something or say something to somebody, I don't know, and we'll send it off. Also, please visit our YouTube channel for all the youtubes, YouTube.com slash thecommercial break clips of the show, some full episodes, and all the interviews are going to be up there at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on TikTok for those little short clips you guys like so much. You love us so much. You want us in minute or less chunks, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, we get a million views on that veer dos thing. I'm like, holy shit. First of all, why aren't you following us? Second of all, that's a lot of human beings. Yeah, I'm humbled, humbled by it all. Six two six. Ask TCB the number 3626. Ask TCB the number three. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we're taking them all at that phone number. Toll free to you. Well, it's been an interesting day, filled with Corey Feldman. We appreciate you listening, going down the road. I love you.

I love you.

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

Take a dick and keep on dicking. Close.