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Front row seat of the afterlife. I had. I had born with an astigmatism. Annette had graduated to cataract. My cousin Jeffrey prayed for me on the phone Tuesday through Wednesday for two weeks. And I had woken up and I opened my eyes. I never had known that my room had wallpaper. On this episode of the commercial break, walking in God's path. I'm gonna make you some bacon eggs. Yeah, he's on $13 dating app, so mind me. I'll be over here.

Crispy bacon.

Crispy or not crispy? What? He just sent someone $3,000 on cash app. Ups. Notification. Three diamond rings showed up across South America yesterday. Characters playing defense. Hot defense. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Catcher kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my co host and best friend, Chris. Enjoy, hoadly. Best to you, Chris.

Bestie, Brian, best to you out there.

In the podcast universe. Yes, it's shorts time here in Atlanta.

Yes, it is.

The fifth fake spring is finally over, and now we venture off into the netherworld of boiling here on earth.

Now, I saw it's gonna be in the thirties.

Oh, it is.

Later this week.

Oh, the 6th fake spring will be upon us later on this week. I'm about as accurate as that fucking Weather channel.

I'll tell you what, it changes. Like, I look on the weather just.

Yesterday, like three times, to see what the weather's gonna be all about. Kids are out of school, and so we gotta find something to do with those rugrats. And I'm like, oh, okay. It's gonna be a beautiful week outside. No rain in the forecast. Wake up this morning, tornado warnings. What the fuck? The fuck?

Severe weather.

You aren't even that good that you can get a twelve hour window semi accurately. I mean, just like, how are tornadoes appearing out of nowhere when yesterday there were no clouds in the forecast whatsoever?

I know.

And here I go again, like an old fucking white man talking about the weather. I won't bore you anymore. We'll get onto the good stuff. A lot of people said great things about our Paul Scheer interview. Paul, nicest guy in show business. Even though that's the only guy we know in show business. Except for, of course, Neil Brennan episode just aired yesterday. Neilbrennon.com. Go watch his Netflix special out now. And thank you very much to Neil for showing up. And thanks for all the kind words.

About the Paul Sherman, it's a really funny special.

We had as much fun as it sounded like. We had. A lot of times we'll just pretend, but this time we actually had fun. So there you go. A lot of times, we're just scared. So we just. We just nervously laugh and ask silly questions, like, which book do you like, which book do you like to read on the road? But. But I will say this. Paul is one of the nice. We're just scared. We're just scared of Paul Scheer now.

He could have been so welcoming.

Paul was awesome, as was Neil. Neil was great, too. He was very generous with his time.

And I was actually listening. I was laughing because I was listening to Paul's podcast that he does. I.

How did this get made?

How did this get made? Yes. And, um, they had a guest on that show, and the funny thing is that I never really heard the guests talk. It was mostly still the original people.

Yeah, of course.

Maybe that's what we should just do.

I think that's what we do. Do with some of the interviews, please.

Guess we'll just keep talking.

Yeah. When I get scared, I just look at you and say something. I'm like, I'm scared. I don't know what to ask next. So why don't I just. They're being mean to me, Chrissy. He's being mean to me. Yeah, but that's. It's got to be a very complicated thing. They've got to bring four voices in the room.

They've already got three.

Forget about it. I mean, I was talking to Christina, who was editing the Paul Scheer episode last week, and she's. And if it sounds a little odd how that episode cut off, it's because we didn't realize that Paul had dropped off. He froze and dropped off at the end, if you remember. So Christina was having a hard time figuring out where to end the interview because the goodbyes were saying goodbye, but he's not responding to us. So it sounds like we've just said goodbye to someone that's hung up on us. And just like, my baby screaming in the background. So she was having a little trouble, but then I said, well, just cut it a little earlier, find a good spot to end it, and then maybe I'll put a bumper. If it sounds natural, if it sounds unnatural. This is the minutia of putting together a podcast. Sometimes things go wrong, and here at this studio, often more than not right. It's that. That's kind of the batting average. So she says, well, I would, but everyone is talking over each other in the last, like 30 seconds of the actual interview. And I'm like, well, what do you want me to do?

I don't know. It's three people in the room. We all got to say our things. Yes, see, that's a problem, too. Is not the problem, but the challenge. Well, actually, I like this. And I think Brad Williams has been like this. Felicia, Joanna Houseman, Heather McMahon, like a lot of the guests that we've had on that we've really enjoyed, they are also podcasters. And so when you put three, yay, four podcasters in a room and expect that any of them are going to shut up, that's just not, that's not true. I have been on podcast panels at podcast shows where I'm up there with other podcasters and, you know, they give you 30 minutes. And so I've been on so many of these now that when the person who's doing the actual, you know, the mediator of the conversation with the panelists, they always want to get together beforehand and have some big talk about how it's all going to go down. Right. I'll ask you this, and then I'll throw it to him and then I'll, and I've just taken a good, experienced mediator, someone, a present, someone who presents, knows, just go up there, ask one question, and the entire 30 minutes is going to be taken by whoever gets that question.

And that could be me. And I've been guilty of this in the past. I actually have to, like, shut myself up and, well, I should let somebody else talk because you put podcasters on a stage in front of a microphone and you ask them one question, that's a 30 minutes answer right there. That's what we do. We have learned how to talk into the microphone incessantly. But it saves my wife from all the conversation at the end of the night so she can get a good night's sleep. I've already talked it out with you.

I'm glad.

Anyway, thanks very much for the nice words about Paul Paulshear.com, comma. Go order his book. Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan. Go watch his Netflix special, which is just fantastic. Yeah, it really is. It is an hour and five minutes of hilarity. Okay, now let's get to the important stuff.

All right. The meat.

I think maybe this was episode number twelve or 13. When I talk to you about a TLC show, of course, a TLC show far, far away. That's the way I feel 712 hours of Brian talking ago. I can't believe how much talking I've done on this show. 712 hours of Brian talking ago. We talked about a TLC show that was following around. This is an old, dark show. It was, like, back in 2000, you know, the aughts, the mid aughts. We talked about a TLC show where they had profiled conjoined twins. Now, the conjoined twins are female. They're two female conjoined twins. They are conjoined at the hip hop. So now I want you to imagine this. Two heads. Like, there's two arms and then two heads, and then they come together in the abdomen, right? So anything below the waist is shared. Anything above the waist is independent. So what? The one on the left controls the left arm, and I guess the left eye, I'm not even really sure how that works. And then the one on the right, I mean, they both have two heads. Brian, you're an asshole. And then the one on the right controls the right arm, so on and so forth.

Update years ago, a couple of years ago. And now we're all just finding out about this now. And since you're hearing it here last, we actually found out about it two weeks ago. But the conjoined twins, one of them has gotten married. Oh, one of them has gotten married. Just one. You want to read the byline?

Sure.

Okay, just wait.

Well, I was picturing in my head.

I'll show you a picture.

Also. They are, they're only one person from the torso down.

So figure that one out.

Yeah.

I mean, do you only get a hand shandy from the left hand? I'm not really sure. I mean, I don't want to be glib about it. No. Because I think it's beautiful and wonderful.

Yes.

Someone is finding love.

Three of.

Yes, find your love. You, everybody deserves love, but is it just one of you that's really falling in love with this guy? How do. You. Can't go on dates. How do you have any privacy? I don't know what happens during love.

Making love is smoking.

I know. I can actually see smoking coming out of your ears. This is a very interesting question, and I. And again, I don't want to be glib about it, because, and here, and I remember this about the story. When they were born, the doctors said we can do an operation, but it is highly likely we lose one of them.

Yeah.

Yeah. If not both of them, we lose one of them, if not both of them. But we're willing to take the chance so that at least the doctors were saying, we're willing to take the chance so at least one of them can live some kind of semi normal life. And the parents, you cannot split the baby. I know that's in the Bible somewhere, but you cannot split the baby. That's just impossible. I wouldn't make that choice either. I'd be like, fuck no. These are my children. Let them live as long as they're going to live and let me have my time with them. I don't want to take the chance that I'm going to lose one or, or both of them. So this is like a super incredible story of perseverance and what a life you must have lived. Wow. They're also teachers, so they teach together in a classroom. Oh. So here, let me read the story to you. Ready? Whether you're ready or not, here comes Abby and Brittany Hensel, who documented their lives in a TLC reality series, have been have transitioned from a duo into a trio. Abby, the left conjoined twin, married Josh Bowling, a nurse in the United States and the United States army veteran.

They live in Minnesota, where the hensel twins were born and raised. Abby and Brittany, 34 years old, have been living private life since their eight episode show Abby and Britney, aired in 2012. But it's been a happy life for them in Minnesota, where they were born and raised. According to the Today show, which obtained marriage records for the spouses, the sisters are both fifth grade teachers in their home state. Abby and Josh kept their marriage under wraps from the public eye until 2023, when they shared photos of the wedding ceremony on their tick tock wedding guests. Wedding guests resurfaced clip revealed an intimate moment from the lovebirds wedding on Facebook. A 22nd clip posted on Heidi Bolling's Facebook captures the couple dancing and kissing at the wedding reception. Abby and her sister wore all white sleeveless bridal gown and a lace back dress, while bowling wore a gray suit. Congratulations, bowling. Bowling is seen staring into his blushing bride's eyes while Britney supports her sister.

God.

The duo originally appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show in 1996, explaining that there are explaining their lives as conjoined twins. They were born as dice fossilis conjoined twins, a rare condition when two heads are on a single body with one genital system, two, three or four arms, two hearts and two legs. The hensel twins share a bloodstream and all organs below the waist.

That's amazing.

Abby controls the right arm and leg and Brittany controls the left side. I'm unbelievable.

Really unbelievable. And who got married?

Abby. Okay, let me see. Let me make sure this.

Or they are righty.

I don't know either.

Thinking of all. I have all kinds of questions.

It's Abby. Abby's the one who got married, and Abby controls the.

I think it was right.

Yeah, I think you're right. Abby controls the right arm and the right leg, so you're getting right hand shandies. How do you make love? Do you need permission? There's some questions I like. I.

Legitimately.

Yeah. But let's get. Let's get our head. Let's get my head out of the dirt right now and let's pick it up just a little bit and wonder, how do you. On a date, how do you have intimate moments? How do you.

Well, they're not private, so, I mean, I guess just. And maybe just growing up that way from the get go, you know, you never know anything different. And that's another. It's just another part of you, like, I guess kind of like a arm or a hand. I don't know.

I mean, maybe you learn to tune it out. Yeah, maybe you learn to tune it out. God damn. Fuck. That's a good. That would be a good skill to know, wouldn't it, between you and Kevin? Yeah, Kevin and I can join. If Kevin and I were conjoined, I would ask for the surgery. I'd be like, I don't care what my chances are of living. Separate me from this guy. He's driving me crazy.

Well, that is true. I mean, think about if you get mad at the other person. You can't.

No, there's no. You can't even run. Yeah. Go over there in the corner. Well, you gotta come with me.

Yeah.

I don't want to be around you right now. I mean, imagine all the drama. But now I have to say that, you know, as a twin, which is a definite. It's not. I guess what am I trying to say is that I don't know anything different than being a twin. But for Kevin and I, as fraternal twins, we are two totally separate people. We do not share feelings, we don't share senses. We don't finish each other's sentences. None of that stuff happens. We don't look alike, we don't act alike, we don't speak alike. None of that stuff happened to us. But we know a number of identical twins, and they do share, basically.

Yeah.

Everything.

Because they were one person.

They are one person.

They split.

Genetically, they're the exact same person.

Yeah.

And so they share most of their lives with each other in a way that would be hard to describe. And I've talked to identical twins about this, and our experiences are vastly different. Fraternal and identical twins, vastly different. Now, take that a step further. And you're sharing a fucking body. That is amazeballs. Yeah, amazeballs.

It really is.

And I want to know about all of it. I wish I knew about all of it. I wish they would come on and I could talk to them about this because I want to know about everything. How did you meet? What is the first date like?

Yeah. And I guess, like, even in other aspects of their lives, I guess you really. I mean, you have to decide together that you are going to do this one job. Yeah, you have to agree.

Hand job. No, no, you do. You. You're right. You have to agree on everything. You have to agree on what you're having for fucking breakfast because you could.

Have a different breakfast.

True, but I mean, don't you like, what if. Okay, maybe not breakfast. Two different bolts here.

Bowls, cereal, two mouths.

They do. There's two heads right there. Two different heads on the same body. But imagine you go have a steak. How are you going to cut that by your fucking self? What if Abby says, I'm not interested in steak tonight? I want some pasta. Can you help me cut it? No, I mean, just imagine the drama that you could inflict on somebody if you had one of their. If one of their hands.

So fascinating. And so, like, do they share that? Because, I mean, think. Now I'm thinking about eating. Like, well, is one full and the other is not. I think.

I think it all comes together in the organ, right? And. But I mean, imagine just, like, the daily activity of. I want to take a shower. Well, I don't want to take a shower. I want to wash my hair. I'm not interested washing my hair today.

Right.

I have to take a poop. Well, I don't feel the same way. I just imagine. Well, I guess they have to share that. But I mean, that level of detail about your life. And then imagine there's just someone right next to you no matter what you do right there. No secrets.

No.

No whacking off by yourself. No sneaking in a little porn during a zoom phone call. You know what I'm saying?

Whatever your guys name is from literally do everything together.

Every single thing. And the kids. Yeah, yeah, there is. There's a picture. There's a little video of them dancing together. This is them when they were. When they were kids. When I. So look at that one picture when they were kids. And they're learning how to ride a bike. They have to coordinate the left and the right leg because they each independently operate one of those.

Yeah.

Yeah. Then you can scroll up and then there's, like, pictures of the wedding. That's insane, isn't it?

It really is.

Life takes on so many beautiful and weird forms.

Yeah. And they're thriving.

They're. They're thriving. One of them is married. Okay, now, here's. Here's where I think it could really get tricky. What if Brit. Brit falls in love? Then what do they do?

Right?

Josh is gonna have to fall in love with him, too, because I'm telling you what, you're gonna be sharing a pack. You're gonna be sharing the package. Yeah.

Or sharing, for sure.

That's it. But they are. If you watch them on television, if you go back and you can find that, you know, 2012 documentary series the TLC did, if you watch them on television, they are two independent people. Now, they do speak, like, finish each other's sentences and stuff like that. Of course they do. But they are two independent people with different likes and dislikes and all this other stuff. It's just like, it's so.

And from the guy's perspective, too, I mean, you have to really like both of them.

Well, I'm sure Josh is a perfectly lovely person, and he has seen past so much to fall in love with one woman. So I really wanna pat the guy on the back and say, cheers. But I just wonder a little bit. I just wonder a little bit about the motivations. I don't mean to be kind of dour about it, but it's like that. The girl that we were watching, you know, that never aged. Remember her? Remember that girl TLC series that never came back? I don't know what happened to her.

Right. Yeah, she was, like, twelve or something.

She stopped aging at twelve. She looked. Yeah. And she was 23 years old the last time that we were talking about a year and a half ago. And there were a lot of guys that were interested. There were a few that weren't. There were a few that said, I'm sorry, I just can't get past the fact that you look, like, very young. I'm not interested romantically, but let's be friends. But then there were certainly a couple of guys that were like, yeah, I'm all with it. The last guy that she was dating, some guy, and I was like, oh, that guy's motivations are all over the place. That's a really tricky situation, as is this. And so I applaud him. In one sense, and I'm really curious, in another sense, how do you have a full norm? I mean, it's not normal. It's never gonna be normal. And in the average sense, right, in the way we think about one person, one head, one, you know, one body kind of thing. But then how do you know I'm.

Thinking about just like, talking on the phone, you know?

Yeah.

Well, what about sex?

Oh, phone sex. That's a good one.

They're right there. The other person's right there.

I gotta imagine. I mean, this is my guess is that intimacy comes down to one really interesting conversation between all of them.

Yes.

Right, true. Like, okay, we're gonna do this, but I'm gonna be watching Neil Brennan's new special on Netflix over here while you guys do the bang bang. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that could be it.

Yeah. You put on your nightmares, like your little night mask and your head pillow.

Night night.

Yeah. And you put earbuds. You do calm, be calm.

But meanwhile you're feeling the feelings.

Do me a favor, can you wrap your leg around him? Put your arm here.

I mean, it is mind blowing.

It is incredible. And again, the beauty that, like, the beauty and oddities and strangeness that life takes on this earth. There are aliens and they're already here. Life thrives. It thrives. Their teachers, they're alive and doing well. I'm sure that there are a lot of doctors, when they came out, that gave them zero chance. Like five. Right? They were like. Because, I mean, I know that this is not 100% uncommon. There are other people who have had this. I actually have seen pictures, like, older pictures, back in the twenties, thirties, forties, black and white photographs of people with this condition. And they would travel around the circus because that's all they could do.

That's all they could do.

These girls are teachers. They had a wedding. They're married. Josh is doing whatever Josh does. Yeah, I mean, nursing. Yeah. Goddamn. Listen, if anybody knows those girls, and I know they have privately, like, they have chose, chosen to keep their lives private. Understandably so. But if they ever think about talking to anybody, I promise that I will handle this with the kind of care and attention that only the commercial break could.

Sure.

I want to know. Inquiring minds want to know. It's so fascinating to me.

Very, extremely.

And you should see the first dance. They're like. You know, both of them are like. Have their arms wrapped own around him. And he's kissing. He's kissing one of them and the other one is just staring on, being with a smile on her face. She's supporting her sister. Wow, Chrissy. I just have. My mind is officially.

Yeah, it's mind bending.

Yeah, I mean, this is like this fucking seeking sister wives. It's not like that, but it could be like that in my mind. It's kind of like that. And I've got an ask TCB that will lead into a series of conversations about seeking sister wives. If you're not watching this show, this is the best reality show on television right now because, wow.

I'm not.

Fuckers twist themselves up into a knot trying to explain why they want to have sex with two women at the same time. And the women that just go along with this and in some cases encourage it is just. It's. It's beyond my comprehension. So let's take a short break and then we'll be back. And we got an ask TCB today. Are you excited about that?

I'm very excited.

This is actually a very old question that came to us a long time ago and just as I normally do, had no follow through whatsoever. All right, we'll be back.

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All right, so Leah wrote in to us probably a year ago. I'm sorry, Leah. I really am. I just. I'm really bad at following.

If you're still listening.

Yeah, if you're still listening, which you probably aren't, because you're like, well, I gave them a shot, but they never responded. Emailed them, but they never responded. All right, I got things to do. What do you want me. I got 5000 children running around here. I got a show. I'm trying to keep on the tracks. Okay, so Leah writes in, and Leah, I'm just going to paraphrase Leah's question here. She's been dating a new bow. And she. After five weeks of dating, they're getting into that. Okay, I think we can be serious right now. And for some reason, she went onto his phone with his permission to look at something. And when she closed out, she noticed notifications that had come in from dating apps with an S. Okay, right. And so she asked the question. Now they've probably long since broken up because we didn't give her the advice she needed. Yeah. She asked the question, when is the appropriate time to start the conversation about cutting off the applications on the phone? That is how they met, by the way. That is how they met. So this is an interesting question, only relevant in 2024 for like the last six or seven years.

And I'm having a hard time figuring out what my stance is on this. I mean, you know, the guy's just playing a little bit of defense here. He's saying, well, I had other conversations going, you and I met in real life. We had a couple. We have a good. We have a good run here going on, but I do not want to be left holding the bag. And the way that people ghost each other on this apps, you can almost not fault him for saying, well, I better have a backup plan here. Right? And you know, the dating apps, I think for most people, especially under the age of, let's call it 35, 40. You know, most people, I think, are looking for some kind of physical interaction as the leading motivation to being on the apps. I know everybody wants, and I think I know everybody, every single person on this earth wants to be loved and in some kind of caring and nurturing relationship or relationships. But let's be honest about it. What? You really want to get some ass, right? And I think that that's how you met this guy. So you understand that this can lead to connections and what's he gonna do?

How do you close all that off? Do you just, like, delete the app and go away? That's what I did. I just deleted the app and went away. Yeah, but no one was looking for me, so I didn't have any notifications coming through. Easy to do. You just say, well, not today, sister. I'm not going to let you swipe left on me, sister. Not today.

Yeah, I mean, I think that you. It's as soon as you say, we're serious, you know? I think so.

I mean, I think that you lead Leah with what exactly? The question is, when do you start to have that conversation? You're answering your own question. The conversation. Start the conversation.

And you could even throw it back to the other person and say, how do you feel about me still being sure?

Yeah, that's a fun game to play. I can do what you can do. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Like a mean way, defensive way. I mean, just saying, hey, like, like you said a conversation and you say, hey, let's talk about this, because this is the way that we met. I'm ready to kind of deactivate all of mine. Are you?

I think you have the conversation.

If you're not cool.

Yeah, if you're not cool. But I don't want to be involved. Yeah, I don't want to get serious.

I want something serious. Or let's just keep it casual.

I would also like to be out there dating people. So let's put our picture up there together and see if we can rope a third woman into the conversation. Yes. Because that always works out. It's my understanding. But you gotta, if you haven't already. A year later, this was such a timely question. I dropped a ball. Leah's on her 7th tinder boyfriend.

Maybe it'll help somebody else.

Yeah, maybe it'll help somebody else. You delete the apps when you're ready to have that conversation. And if he doesn't, then he is not your man. And you move on to the next thing, and life will go on. Plenty of fish in the sea, all that bullshit. Because, you know, I would be hurt if I had been dating someone and it was getting serious. Maybe not hurt, but I would sense that it'd be time to have that conversation after five or six weeks. And if you're, like, seeing each other three times, four times a week, then just talk to him. Just say, hey, listen, I picked up your phone because you told me to. To get through this whole thing.

Yeah. Snooping.

Yeah. And I noticed there's a bunch of tinder notifications coming in, and I understand that's how we met. And I'm not dumb. I understand that you probably met other women on the application, but if we're moving into this serious part, can you delete the app or at least stop having the fucking conversations with other women for right now? I would say delete the app because I think it's too tempting if you have the app on your phone. And, guys, we just don't have it in us to think with our heads when it comes to romantic relationships. It's just dick, dick, dick, dick, Dick. Right. And so even the guys with the best of intentions, you know, it's hard to not want female attention. Just like, the same thing, I'm sure, with women or male attention or whatever you're into.

Yeah.

So I would say that have the conversation. Just. It sounds like you're ready because you're asking the question to a podcast that can't even respond to you in a year's time, then the truth is you're asking the wrong. You're having the conversation with the wrong person. You need to have it with him, not with us. Just have the conversation. That's the way it goes. And now let me piggy front that a little bit and say that the sister wives is the best television show that's going on television right now, television, reality television show on TLC right now. 90 day fiance is kind of losing its luster a little bit for us.

Is there even a new. Is there a new season on. Of that.

Of seeking sister wives?

No.

90 day fiance. There is always a new season of some of 90 day fiance always going around.

I broke free for a while.

I'm breaking free.

I don't know if I'm ready to go back. I did get into another show, though. I don't know if you've checked this one out, and I. I'm late to the game on it, but Netflix is the love on the spectrum. It's very interesting.

I, as well, have had so many people come up to me and say, watch love on the spectrum. Talk about it on the show. I think you.

Really good.

I watched the. I think it's. I think the original version is from the BBC. I think it was called Love on the spectrum also. And I did watch that first season or two before I had children. But let me tell you why I am. Just can't get into it. My heart breaks when I watch. When I watch someone that's having difficulties navigating through life. I was like this as a child. If I would see someone that would, say a child in a wheelchair or a child missing an arm or a child with mental disabilities, when I would see someone like that, I would literally cry. My mom has says this to me to this day.

She's like, I always cry. I was crying.

And now that I have children, I know now that I have children, there's an extra level of sensitivity that goes on, and I just.

I get it. You're protecting yourself.

I'm protecting myself from the kind of pain that I know.

Protection.

Eventually, I'm also going to deal with. With my own children. Like, I don't want to have to go through it twice. I just want to go through it once. You know what I'm saying? So I don't know. But there's something that keeps me away from that love on the spectrum a little bit. I don't. I don't want to see these kids.

Get their hearts broken, but I see where you're coming from.

Yeah. Okay. Maybe someday I'll give it a try.

So back to sister wives. Sister wives.

Now, these people are not on the spectrum. Or maybe they are. I don't know. But it's just fucking a right. These are grown ass adults with their head seemingly on their shoulders who are making ludicrous. Seemingly ludicrous and dumb decisions with their lives. I don't care if you want to have a threesome, multiple wives, multiple husbands, chickens, a cow, and pet duck fucking your cock. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter to me.

I don't know about the duck.

Listen. To each their own. Quack a doodle doo. You know what I'm saying? Quackadoodle. Fuck a doodle doo. Fuck a doodle doo. That's what I have to say. Okay, maybe not the chickens. Leave the baby chickens alone. Loving the chicken coop. So these people, now, we're, like, five seasons into this, right? And very few of them actually have a second season.

Right.

But now there are a couple of couples that do have a second season, and one of them, because they're still seeking. They're still seeking.

Okay.

This guy named Garak. I think it's his name. Garak. What kind of name is Garak? Is it Rick or is it Gary? What is Garrick? What is that? Who gave you that name? I don't get it. Now, Garak seemingly has been chosen by God to have as many vaginas around him as possible. And he has convinced his wife, who seems just like a lovely human being. I mean, like a really lovely human being. But I don't know what rocks this girl has in her head. But Garrick wants ass. But he keeps pulling out the Bible every time it's time to have a new lady. Yes. So now for two seasons. Yeah, here's the proof. God says, let thy cleanse thy dick with multiple vaginas. Garak is spent. They spent two seasons courting this woman from, I think, Mexico or Brazil.

Oh, right.

Okay.

Didn't we review it?

Yes, we did. He spends two episodes, two seasons courting this woman, Roberta, from wherever she's from, to only have it break apart in disaster and heartache forever. I'm shocked, shocked completely, completely blown away that this would be the outcome of a plural marriage. Yeah, we've seen this time and time again on reality tv. What about that sister wives show where that guy had 78, 12, 13 wives? I don't many wives he had. I know he is not married to one of them anymore. One of them actually is married to marriage. Why? Because they realized that this was not God's plan. This was one man speaking selfishly, to be with multiple women and have all.

Of the women take care of the kids.

Yeah. He never even paid attention to the children. He was like, yeah, I don't have time for that. Of course you don't. You have 27 fucking children from twelve different wives. And good for those women, getting them, spending the rest of their lives. Even one of them even got remarried, I think. So now Garak is back at it. Garak has been called by God. There's a moment in the television show and listen, I don't. I try not to run too much of TLC stuff because they always just want to, like, fucking copyright hit me and all this other shit. But, like, they're paying attention to me. It's actually some AI algorithm that does that. But Garak, we come back to the season number five after Roberta has broken their hearts. We come back and Garak has found a new woman from wherever she's from down in South America. And she's young, she's beautiful. She doesn't speak a lick of English, barely, right? So they're using a translator for every goddamn thing, which is annoying when you're watching a reality show. And the wife, his wife, Garak's wife is like, I don't know that I'm ready for this.

But Garak says in the show, this is what he actually says to the camera while his wife is sitting next to him. He says, me and sister over here. He calls his wife sister, which is just gross, right?

Yeah.

Me and sister had a moment in the garage where God came to me and told me that this is the one. And I don't want to. I don't want to upset God's plan. And the wife, the look on the wife's face is like a hostage. She's blinking desperately. She's blinking so's. Desperately to the camera, so's so's help because. And then he says, even sister felt it. And she's like. She kind of twists her head. She's like, no, no, that was you. That was all you. You were talking to God. I was over on the other side of the garage trying to clean something up.

Try to clean up the garage, trying.

To clean out Roberta's shit. They go down to Mexico to meet this woman. The woman brings her mother. They're in the house. He says, the rule is for this particular family is no hanky panky until someone is engaged. Garak can't buy a diamond ring fast enough. I mean, he just cannot. He is ready to just get laid at all expense. He will tear his whole family apart just so he can get his dick wet one more time from some young, beautiful south american beauty. And this is his mission. So this is the first time that they are meeting in person and he is just hellbent on proposing to her. And not even. They're spending like two weeks in Mexico. They bring along their, their grown children like that are like 14 and 17 years old. Fuck, man. That must fuck with your head. And now they're on television so you can be sure the rest of their lives are not going to be normal. Chrissy. They aren't even at that place 2 hours and he's got that ring out like he's got it in his pocket. It's burning a hole in his pocket. But the girl who is smart is taking it easy.

The sister, the new. Yeah, the new one is taking it slow. She's like, no, no, no, no. We just met face to face. I don't know if your wife likes me. I don't know if she really wants this. I don't know what's going on. So I'm here with my mom, and we're gonna go to bed. So there's literally a scene where Garak is standing outside the bedroom door, and he's trying to, like, you know, give her some physical affection. And she's like, okay, I'm gonna go to bed now. And he's like, whoa, do you want me to come in? And she's like, nope. No, I don't. That's okay. Garak. You can see him reach into that pocket. I mean, he is ready to pull out that ring and get down on one knee right now. He doesn't matter. He just wants to get laid. He is buying diamond rings so he can get laid. He doesn't care if they get married or not. Next morning, they wake up. It's the both of them. And this is where we wrap it back into Leah's question. They wake up and she, the new wife, picks up the phone to do something.

Garak's phone, to use the translator. Do something on the translator. And he's getting notifications from these dating apps. Oh, and she. So now the. His first wife comes into the kitchen, and she's stepping upon this kerfuffle. She's coming into it. Yes. Who wants some eggs? God told me. God told me to make some eggs. I'm walking in God's path. I'm gonna make you some bacon eggs. Yeah. He's on $13 dating apps. Don't mind me. I'll be over here.

Crispy bacon.

Crispy or not crispy? What? He just sent someone $3,000 on cash app ups notification. Three diamond rings showed up across South America yesterday. Kerrick is playing defense. Hot defense. Garak is doing this tap dance. I have never seen a man dance like this before. Never. I mean, yeah. I didn't know you could respond. I thought I did delete them.

What are you talking about?

Deleted them. Yes. I took my picture down. No one can see me. I can't communicate. Those are just talking to me. I don't want to leave them in the cold. I just wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to make sure I didn't offend anybody. You know how I am. I'm so sweet. I can't offend anybody. He's doing this tap dance, and the wife, the original wife, starts to revolt. She's like, no, you didn't you didn't delete them. You told me you didn't delete them. You told me you were looking for new women. And the new wife, potential wife, is also doing a tap dance. She's like, I'm out of here. I will see everyone later. I am not interested in this one bit. Next morning, so they have this big fight. Next morning, Garrick's fake crying. You know, he's like, I've really offended these women, and I feel like, you know, I've lost my. I've lost my purpose. I need to get back to God and figure it all out. I need to apologize. I really want to ask her to marry me. I wanted to last night, but it didn't work out, did it?

So I'm going to ask her today to marry me. And I'm like, dude, you could not be in more of a rush to get into a relationship with someone you barely know and you can't even speak with. I mean, no, you can't even talk to her. I mean, she's got some English, but it's not conversational English, I'll tell you that. It's yes, no, and I don't understand. Those are the things that she doesn't. He is so ready to just put a huge ring on someone's finger so he can get laid. It's unbelievable. I. First of all, I can't afford this kind of situation here. I can't buy everybody a diamond ring. I do have those little rings. The fake rings that you get in the easter eggs, that. My daughter got a few of those. And I can put those on some.

Fingers from the bubble gum machine.

Yes. I will be God damned if Astrid ever, ever would ever agree to me dating a third woman to bring in a sister wife.

That's what I was gonna say. Why? How. Why is he even still married to the first wife?

He offends her so much, he disregards her altogether. And it really drives me fucking crazy. Her name is Danielle. It really drives me crazy. I know. Just get divorced. Well, no. Excuse me. Let's go back to two seasons ago. He did get a divorce from her so he could legally marry Roberta.

That's right.

Do you remember that?

Yes.

So here this poor girl Danielle is sitting in a courtroom, dissolving a marriage, divorcing in a courtroom. And the cameras are there, and she is sobbing, but she knows that Garrick has told her it's God's plan. Fuck Garak. That's all I gotta say. Fuck Garak. And I want to tell you about some personal experiences Chrissy and I have had about, have had with, you know, the bringing an extra wife into the situation. I tried to bring Chrissy in as a third wife, but like the conjoined twins, Jeff had to come with. That's not what I was bargaining for. I want my ring back. I hope you get your ring back, Garak, at least. So you're gonna afford Danielle to force paperwork because that girl's gonna get wise. I have confidence in Danielle and I have confidence that she is going to get her fucking head back on her shoulders and leave this douche canoezle. Who?

God's plan, I guess they've got this show now.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Well, we're all fucked because of TLC. TLC just shows us all the weird things that are going on in the world and keeps it going because they're making these people famous, right? That's right. All right, now let me tell you about some personal experiences Chrissy and I had. That'll kind of put some frosting on this cake. We'll be back, but we do have to take a break, so we'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212433 TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and dm us on instagram, hecommercialbreak and on TikTok ecBpodcast. And of course all of our audio and video is easily found on tCbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank g one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

Number of years back, Chrissy and I had friends who were trying to bring on, I don't know if it was a wife necessarily, but they were trying to bring on a third into the relationship.

Yes.

And they went through a series of girlfriends, let's say that much. I don't want to give away too much detail, but they went through a series of girlfriends and for one reason or the other, those girlfriends did not work out. They were trying to bring on young kind of, I wouldn't say impressionable because I think the girls had had enough, you know, they had enough common sense to know what they were getting into. But they tried to bring these women into the relationship because that's what both partners wanted, but it kind of all fell apart because they had children. It was supposed to be a big secret. It didn't end up being a big secret. Everyone's feelings got hurt, and then they got broken up with multiple times. And these were kind of soul crushing breakups. Right. So I understand that there is a desire in some cases for this kind of relationship for a lot of different reasons. Even on sisters seeking sister wives. There is one wife. They have been married for a long time. They had children when they were young. The children are apparently out of the house. They have known each other since they were in grade school.

And the wife is pushing the husband to have a relationship outside of the marriage. She wants a sister wife. She desperately wants a sister wife. Actually, in two of the situations in this season, the wife is the one that's kind of driving the conversation here.

Wow.

So I understand it takes all kinds. Love takes all forms. Shit, if you can get married to conjoined twins, then you can certainly have that. There's a sister wife. That's a literal sister wife right there. That's the only situation. There's no choice in the matter. Right. But I think I understand from just watching, observing this on the outside that it's a really difficult thing to navigate.

Gotta be.

I think our friends had actually the best of intentions. I don't think, at the end of the day that they were a Garrick, but this drives me fucking bananas. When the husband just purposefully ignores his actual wife in an effort to get new young tail and then claims that God is telling him to do well.

Yeah.

God is not worried about Garak and his third wife. I am promising you this. He doesn't give a shit. There's war all over the. There's so many things to deal with in this country, in this world, on this earth, in this universe. You think God is bothering talking to Garak about his second hot, young latina wife? No. No. Machismo. No, I guarantee you not. If you have.

Is it to, like, have kids too? I mean, is that what the premise is?

Oh, Garrett doesn't want kids. He wants his dick wet. That's what he wants.

I thought it was for kids. No, to populate the earth.

Populate the earth. No, there's no. That's sister wives. Actual sister wives. Spread his seed far and wide from, like, in Seattle to Denver. I mean, that guy was jizzing all over the place.

Does he have like, 27.

27 children? I think. I think it's in the twenties, there's no doubt. And then he's. Now he's got grandchildren and grandbabies, and they have grandbaby. I don't know, he's got so many. But poor Cody is only left with one wife. Ask Cody how it worked out, Garak. I bet he wanted to get his dick wet at first, too. Ask him how things turned out. That guy is miserable. And you know what? God bless America. He's miserable because he was such an asshole. He was to all those women and all those children. And now he's getting his comeuppance. God is not interested in my opinion, and I am agnostic. I believe in a universal energy that has some hand in this, and I believe we're all part of that universal energy. Don't ask me what my beliefs are, because I'll bore you for 3 hours. But at the end of the day, what I do think I understand is that God could care. She could care fucking less about whether Garak is getting married to some latina or staying with his own, staying with Danielle for the rest of his life. God don't give no shits.

And I hate when people start bringing in God as a reason to do just things that are just going on for forever. I know there's another couple on there. This is kind of creepy, actually. Let me tell you the story. A story about sister wife, season number one or two. There was a woman and a man who wanted a sister wife. They had some lady come in for a week or two into their house to make sure that they. She fit into the family and with the kids and with all that. Yeah, that woman. I think you know this story well.

I remember watching some of this.

Yeah, probably here in the studio, because Catfish and TLC are the official shows of the commercial break. We've been watching Catfish like a year. It's the only good thing that's on in the afternoon besides news. And who wants to be bored by that? It's all bad. Anyway. They have a relationship. And then after the relationship broke up, she ended up stalking this lady. And then I think there was some murder or something, that she killed the husband or the husband died or something like that. She ended up spending some time in jail. Now I see history repeating itself on season number five. I'll explain why that one of the ladies, the couple that I just explained, they had met when they were young and now they're older. They had children when they were very young. They have a relationship with a woman that lives about 12 hours driving away from them. And when the season starts, we don't see this woman. They're actually looking for a new sister wife. They're, like, out at bars proposing to people to be the sister, which is the weirdest fucking thing in the world, by the way.

Yeah, let's skip the whole threesome for a night thing. It goes straight to wife.

And the wife is the one that's approaching the women because the guy is too shy to do it. So she'll walk over and she's like, hey, do you want to date my husband? That's what she literally asked. Now I realize this is tv, and it's all set up, and, you know, this lady knew this question was coming, but it's just fucking weird. Anyway, it's like, hey, you want to date my husband? No. That sounds like the beginning of a bad murder. Romance novel date. You want to date my husband? That's like a lifetime movie in a can. Hey, you want to fuck my husband? Yeah, sure. Those always turn out great involved in that. Yeah. Every Netflix shitty ass movie I've seen turns out great.

I'm kind of bored today. Sure.

So they have this girlfriend. Sister. They call her a sister wife because they have been dating for nine months. But this sister wife got cold on them and decided she didn't want to talk to them anymore. So now they're trying to find another wife out there in the wild. They're not having much success. They set up a date that the lady doesn't show. She ghosts them, says, hey, listen, I can't put my family through this. It's on tv. Like, I'm not interested, you know, bubble.

Yeah, add in that layer.

Yeah, add in that layer. Exactly. Now you're on tv, which probably is attractive to some people. Probably the only reason why they're getting a date in some cases.

True.

So then cut to. So they get ghosted, and then cut to the next episode. And this girl has. The girl that they have been dating for nine months, all of a sudden, out of the blue, texted them and says, hey, I really want to see you. Here is this guy. And I shit you not in these cutaways that they're doing with this guy.

He had little interviews.

He's like, I have never loved somebody so much in my life. I'm so in love with her. I can't stop thinking, wow. And the wife is like. She's smiling the whole time. And I think to myself, how hurtful must this be to this woman that you're sitting right there next to your husband, who you've been with forever and ever. And he's talking about how madly in love he is with someone else.

And he's never felt that way before.

He's never felt this way before. He can't get her out of his head. He could just hold her. She'll melt in his arms. You know, he's putting on Vaseline to make sure his lips are kissable. It's like all the things you don't do with your real life now you're doing for your next life. It must be so painful at some level. I mean, you would think, yeah, or this lady just hates her fucking husband and just wants him, her. Him away from her. Right? That's the only other thing that I could think, is that she's like, we've been married for a long time, doesn't.

Want to divorce because money.

There's money and there's kids and there's all this other stuff.

I don't even know how you explain that to the kids.

You don't explain that to the kids. This is the. This is a secret you keep forever. Well, you just thank God it's TLC. And I don't think any 22 year olds are tuning in.

That's true.

It's only us old phobias. It's only us 30 something. So tune in. So. Okay, so the girl says, I really want to see you. Come and see me. So they. They're packing their bags and she texts them again and says, I don't want you to come. Don't come. Now listen. They look straight in the camera and he says, they're like in this little cutaway. And he says, this has happened before, and I know she really just needs me there. She'll melts in my arms when we've gone through bad times before. I just hold her and she just melts in my arms. So we're going anyway. You're going anyway. She's blocked them on her phone, she's not responding to text messages. They are desperately trying to get ahold of her. They're taking a twelve hour fucking drive to see someone who said, do not come. They get to the town and his. This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

This guy is like, they're, like, stalking her.

Last time we talked to her, she was really upset because she had lost her gym membership. She couldn't afford a gym membership. And she told me how upset and crazy it was making her that she couldn't go to the gym because it's something she loved to do. When the first thing when they do when they get into town is go to the gym to pay her gym membership. Then they go straight to her house.

Here, here, I've got you a gold card. Here's your membership.

I got, look, look what we did for, it's active. Check your app. You can go to Gold's gym and we'll hold you hostage. We'll hold you hostage. Don't worry about it. Unbelievable. They are stalking this woman. I am thinking to myself, TLC, you're really getting on a thin line here.

That is a lie.

So they pull up to her house and she's like, I want to go.

I'm thinking about the cameraman.

Oh, he's in the backseat hiding. He is down on the ground. It's so fucked up. I mean, I am hoping that production cleared this with this lady before any.

Of this happens for a living. Oh, I work on this.

I hide in, I hide in stalkers back seats and help them track down the person they want to take hostage. Yeah, it's so crazy. They're driving to this lady's house and he's like, the wife is like, I really want to see if her car is out front in her driveway. Let's go to her house. I'll knock on that door. I'm not afraid. And he goes, well, her car could be in the garage. And she goes, the garage has windows, right? And I'm like, oh, my God, that is so creepy. I have had this happen to me, and it's not fun. You don't want people at your house uninvited.

No.

They get to the house and that wife jumps out of that car, jumps that fence, gets right to the front door, looking in the garage windows, and rings the doorbell. And I'll tell you what happens next week, because that's the end of the episode. But I am thinking to myself, they just took a twelve hour fucking drive. They are like that astronaut who put on a diaper and went across country to see a guy that was already married that she didn't want to see.

Yeah.

Fucking insane. People are insane.

Yeah. There's a switch that gets flipped.

And I know that switch. It's the love switch, right? You can't get around your head. But then imagine I had a partner. Chrissy would say, hey, Brian, this is a little unhealthy for you. You know what I'm saying? You're obsessing a little too much over this woman. Like, she's not that good for you. She left you in New Orleans in the 9th ward. Because that's what I was saying. Yeah, because you didn't put on your, you know, your turn signal. Like, let's just leave this one alone. Imagine Chrissy was like, yeah, let's go to her house. Let's put cameras in a room. Imagine your inside and your outside voices. We're encouraging you to do the worst thing possible. It's just fucking insane. Who are these people? Now?

I can't wait to hear how it turns out.

Oh, God. I'll. I'll show you. You'll have to update TLC season five. I think we're five or six episodes in. You can probably get it on demand. You should watch this show. It is really twisted up in a way that in TLC trying its best to make this look all bright and fluffy, like everybody's, you know, like, this is perfectly normal. I understand there are people who do this, but it's not perfectly normal to track down a woman 12 hours away who has said specifically, don't come. I don't care if she invited you a million times in an hour. Once she says, do not come. Do not come.

Exactly.

I'll tell you how that works out. I've done that a few times. Doesn't work out. You show up and she's fucking somebody else, and then that's really heartbreaking. Which, in that case, I guess it was best that I did show up so I could at least get it over with quickly. TLC, what are you doing? You're like, wow. Aiding and abetting in this lame person's stalking. You're encouraging it by putting cameras. They're driving up to the house, and the cameraman literally gets on the ground. He's like, pointing the camera up toward this guy's face in the front seat. Oh, my God. Wow, TLC, what a job. Well, they gotta do something because that 90 day fiance, it's getting a little. Yeah, it's stale. Yeah, it's. It's like a conversation inside of a conversation inside of a conversation.

I mean, they just. They went too hard on all the spinoffs and all of the things, and.

Now they have this show, like, where the.

Because they have, before the 90 days.

90 days. 90 days. Happily ever again, 90 days the other way. And now they have 90 days, like, it's goggle box, where they're essentially watching. Other people from 90 days are watching the new 90 days fiance. And I'm starting to think that the only people who care about what happens on the new 90 day fiance is the people who have already been a 90 day fiance.

And there's a lot of people that you have to say.

Yeah, there's hundreds of them now. I don't know. I can't keep up. Yeah. And like, the people who have been on forever just keep getting new series and new series. It's, they're just celebrities now. And it sets semi celebrities list celebrities. But it's like, you know, they're just panning to the cameras, that's all. They're making drama for the cameras, all that other stuff. Can't believe it. Don't believe it. I still have a soft spot in my heart for 90 day fiance. I know, but I'm not as invested in it. I'm actually watching other stuff, like three body problem on Netflix, which is a great show. You know what else? You check out our website, tcb podcast.com. Thank you. Tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there. And we would love it if you would get your free bumper sticker. TCB bumper sticker can't tell you what it is yet because it hasn't shown up in the door. And Astro does not want me to announce it before we actually have the stickers like I did last time. But you can get it by going to the website.

Hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want, want my free sticker. Give us your address. We'll send it off to you. The other thing we want is we want you to come on the show. It's not just Paul Shear and Neil Brennan that want to be on the show. You can be on the show, too. 212433 TCB. That's 121-2433 TCB. Toll free from anywhere. Give us a little line, let us know what you want to talk about. Ask us a question, ask for our advice, and we'll tell you how to be on the show if you're chosen. If you're one of the lucky people, you questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, text message or voicemail on that phone number at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tick tock and YouTube.com. The commercial break. Thanks, doc. Bill.

That makes me laugh every time I know.

Me too. All right, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can do. But I love you.

I love you.

And best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.