I don't really want to look at a penis for any longer than I have to. I think that's why I want it to go inside so it gets out.

Of my face.

If you're starting to feel bad.

About your vagina, just.

Google dicks, and you'll start feeling okay.

On this episode of the commercial break. I don't know, just for some reason, but I can't truly understand somebody until I spend a day in their shoes. Actually, it doesn't really a day in their bra.

A day in their Camel toward.

I can't understand you unless I spend a day captivating as you. The next episode of The commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to The commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the Director of Parlor, Tricks and Spirits, Kristen Joy. Hopefully best to you, Kristen.

Best to you, Brian.

Oh, my God. So good to have you back here in the studio. Oh, so good.

To be back. Live and in-person.

Put all of the rumors aside. I did not sign Dua Leip as my new co-host. It's Krista Howdy.

Not yet.

Well, the negotiations are ongoing. Yeah, exactly. I thought I'd bring you in here one last time to take goodbye to all the listeners. Have some fun. I just can't get enough of you. I missed you dearly. I really did.

I missed you. I missed the intro music. I missed blues barking.

Don't worry. We'll get one of those before the end of the episode, as our landscapers are back. Yeah, they're back. Don't worry, brother. I got.

You.

Covered. Hey, boss. Hey, boss. I thought you said between noon and 2:30. No, I said don't do it between noon and 3:30. No problem, boss. See you tomorrow between noon and 2:30. Okay, thanks.

Right as we sat down to start recording that we were the mower.

I know. I'm a believer. God damn. He actually listened to the show, because I told him. I said, I go, You know you... I did. I said, Juan, I go, brother, you're in half the episodes because you guys keep on ignoring what I said. Let me check out that commercial break. I'll tell you what's going on. And he goes, Oh, yeah, man, it sounds loud. And I was like, No shit. Why are you doing it again? Oh, you got to love him. He's been with me for a while. I'm going to have him until the day that I die. He's going to be-.

Once you find a good lawn person, you stick.

Once you find a good anything, you stick with it. In 2023, it's just a shit show as far as anything having to do with service industry. Right. It's really a roll of the dice. And these guys, I love them, they're friendly, they work hard, the price is right, and it gets done well every time. I just have to live with the fact that they squash my only way of making revenue here on the commercial break, but they're loud blowers and lawnmords, every time I open the mic, it's okay.

But we get a good.

Laugh from it. We do get a good laugh from it. I miss you horribly. I missed you. I'd love you share whatever you want to share about whatever's going on. But I just wanted to say that many listeners have written in and have said, What a great job that Christina and Astrid did, but there's no substitute for the hoatly.

Well, first of all, thank you to everyone. You, Astrid, Christina, the family, everybody, and all the listeners out there. I mean, what a source of comfort during this time. It was really cool. It has been. It is really cool. And just I can't thank everybody enough, including all the listeners. And it's been a tough time. But as is the Circle of Life, my story.

That's my Elton John.

What's that? The song that would always play on your Apple Music when you got in the car. Was that.

From Hillsong? Oh, it was from Hillsong. What was that? The Lion and the Lamb. There's a feral, That does sound like Elton.

Doesn't.

It?

It's.

The.

Circle of life. My sweet Papa Joe. It's been quite a little journey here, but he passed peacefully. That's all we could ask for. Agreed. Into the next realm, whatever that may be. And- We.

Can only hope that he will exact our revenge on behalf of us with Theresa Caputo.

Yes, yes, please. Papa Joe, get in there.

Papa Joe, find to get to take the hair off her head, and unmask, reveal the earpiece. Please, we're all waiting.

If anybody can do it, he could. I know it. He was a charmer. He was. And he just never met a stranger. Was so amazing. Down to the last little bit, he was trying to make friends and flirt from the ICU.

Hey, Christian, I'm going to fuck my haspice nurse.

Oh, yeah, he was talking to them. Well, I know he was. Getting them boxes of produce and whatever they liked. It was cute.

I told the story last week about the first time that I had met Papa Joe, which was the Christmas party.

Yes, the Christmas.

And how we walked in and Papa Joe had this beautiful woman, 30 years his junior, and he was dancing with her. I thought to myself, Oh, that's nice of that lady to give Papa Joe a sympathy fuck or whatever. No, they were dating. They went on a date for months and months and months.

Yeah, she was the nurse, my grandmother's nurse, and then my grandmother died. And you hear about that with people getting together with the nurse.

I can only hope it happens with Astrid. Yeah, I know. When I pass away. I'm going to give her express written permission to fuck the hospice nurse.

Get a good looking male nurse.

Don't worry about yourself. That's right. But Papa Joe, and I said this to Christine, and I think it bears repeating is, at least from my perspective, Papa Joe was one of those gentlemen, and I mean a true gentleman. Like chivalry, he's not dead, true gentleman. He would walk... The ladies loved him, and I think part of the reason why the ladies loved him, not that everybody loved him, but what really stood out to me was he would walk through a crowd. He would flirt with women. He would talk, chat up girls. He just loved to do that. But he did it without a bit of irony or talking down to someone or chauvinism. He was just like a true gentleman.

He was genuine. Yeah, he was.

Genuine and.

A gentleman. Yes, he was a genuine gentleman.

He really was. He could have been nicer to me. You just don't meet a lot of those types of people. You know how those people that you meet, I'm probably one of those people, people meet me and they're like, Oh, Brian's a nice guy. You're not like, Brian, he's a nice guy, which is a total lie. But I put on a face. I put on a good face. But then there are people like Papa Joe, who you may never forget in your life, even if you just had a short interaction with him, because he had one of those spirits that just was so bright and radiant. Like I said, he did it without a bad bit of patronizing. He was just so real and interesting. He was real. He was interesting. He made everybody fall in love with him, or they did because of just the way he was.

He just loved life. Yeah. He loved life and think it was very thankful for every day that he had, and he made the most of it. And one of the things that he taught me from a young age was act the same, be as friendly and nice to the janitor at your company as you are to the President.

I should probably take that advice.

And he did that. He really did. He did that. I mean, anybody and everybody he loved and just a very positive man. So he will live on forever- He will. -in my spirit. And I can't wait to go through old texts, voicemails, things- When the time is right. -and compile a big memory dump of him.

Chrissy and I were talking after Papa Joe passed away, and I said, One of the interesting things about someone passing in 2023, unlike maybe when we were kids or our parents, when someone passed away, you might have five or six photographs of them, 10 photographs of them, whatever it was, in some book somewhere where you could look. Today, in this day and age, everything is recorded. Everything is put down somewhere. So you literally have a treasure trove of these memories with their voices, with their likenances, with their videos where they seem like they're right there with you. And you can go through those things at your own leisure. But it's so much more palpable, and real and textured than just a photograph of a wedding in 1963. It's 3D. Yeah, 3D stuff. We should put Papa Joe in the metaverse.

Can we.

Upload Papa Joe to the metaverse?

Yes, maybe we'll get there.

Did you hear that Elon Musk is trying to upload himself to the Internet so he never dies.

Oh, God. What is he up.

To now? I don't know. Isn't that the whole face-off? Is it a face-off? A whole movie about that or something? What was that movie? Was it Nicholas Page? Nicholas Page gets uploaded to the Internet? The John Travolta. Oh, no, it's not Nicholas cage that gets uploaded to the Internet. That's a face-off, though, isn't it? Yeah, face-off is where they rip their faces off. This is the most ridiculous fucking movie ever. I remember at the time, everyone was like, Did you see a face-off? I'm like, No, I'm 13 and I still don't give a shit about two people ripping their faces off. Anyway, someone uploaded themselves to the internet. It was interesting.

Is that the new version of the Walt Disney, The Head thing?

Yeah, I think that is the new version. I don't want to go down this whole rabbit hole, but and all this shit that Elon's coming up with. I think it's an interesting proposition. I don't know if I want to live on forever in the internet. I don't know that I want somebody to be able to dial me up in the metaverse, and then while I'm not here- There are.

Movies about that, though.

There are movies about that, and I.

Can't remember- Yeah, it's on the tip of my.

Tongue right now. -it's on the tip of.

My tongue, too. Yeah, how you live on in the web, the www.

Was it Christian Slater or somebody like that who played? I can't remember. Anyway, who cares? It's more uninformed content from air than commercial. Fact news or fiction. -fack news or fiction. So I'll say this. It was such a pleasure to have Christina and Astrid here in studio to cover so we could get some new content out there, and gracious of you to give your stamp of approval on that. They did such a great job. They did. But there is nothing like a Chrissy Haudley laugh, and I missed it dearly. And I'm so glad that you're back. Yeah, me too. And I know there may be some upcoming episodes where you've got to deal with some stuff, too, and.

Hopefully- Yeah, we're still we're in the middle. We haven't had the funeral yet.

But- But I'll take it.

I'll take one in the middle. I thought it was very important to get a break. It's a beautiful fall day here today, and I wanted to get a break and get some laughter therapy, check back in with.

The peeps. So you have a scorecard. You have aDid you put.

Together a little- A report card for the girls? No, a report card. They got A-plus, as far as I'm concerned. I agree. Just the fact that they got on the microphone, especially the- The Astroid.

Could you even believe that?

No. And she did great job. You guys did so much. And Christina, it was so very interesting to hear. I have to say, so I was there. I'd come back from where I was, and I was, There's a lot of details when you're dealing with funeral stuff. And I thought, Let me just turn on the commercial break and see how it sounds. Let me see if I can get to turn up to it. And I was fascinated by Christina's whole take on the dating situation. And while I'm sitting there making notes of things that I need to do for Papa Joe and whatever, I grabbed the pen and paper and at least had to write down the Rose Jail on Hinge. I might need to have that explained to me again, but it sounds awful. It's a whole thing.

It sounds awful. As if dating in 2023 is not hard enough. Well, just.

Dating in general, like ever, dating has always been hard. But now I have this crap in there.

Yeah, now you have to be picked and chosen to get in a Rose jail where all the pretty people live. Yeah, that's so weird. I don't know. I have one thing to say to hinge. You all are being legitimate assholes. Seriously. I mean, it's hard enough. I think the challenge in today's society is that we're all being put into these little pods, these little groups that have to fight against each other. And if you don't like this, then you don't like anything. And if I don't like you because you have this opinion or whatever, the siloing of communities in society is out of fucking control. I think it's causing a lot more problems than it ever solved. That's true. And yet another way that we are identifying with cliques of people are the beautiful people going to just now run off and start their own beautiful people island?

I don't know. But even what I gathered from that thing is that they're beautiful online.

Yes. How do you know what's.

Going on? Everybody has got Photoshop and things that you can do to all the different programs. Of course. There are out there where that's not even what you look like, and then you're already being judged for what you look like.

I don't know. I don't know either. But to me, the one thing that she said that really threw me for a loop is that not only do you go to Rose Jail, where you have to send somebody a paid-for Rose to get in touch with them. But then on top of that, it's not the users that are making this decision, it's Hinge that's making this decision. So Hinge is making editorial call on who's beautiful and who's not, or some AI program out there doing that. Either way, it's completely c-fucked. I told Christine this, and I know you agree with this. I didn't never felt like when I was single, something was wrong. I never felt like I had to be in a relationship. Me too. That's not how I felt. I felt very much at peace with being single. I felt very.

Much at - We were living our best lives, running around.

Honestly, I was soaked in Bud Lights. It didn't really.

Matter to me. We were each other's wingman.

That's right. We were having fun. I knew I was going home with somebody at the end of the night. Even if that's somebody was Chrissy. Okay, I didn't get pushy, but I did get a large pepperoni pizza, and that's just good enough with me. But I just never felt like anything was broken. But man, these nightmare stories that people are sharing with us about getting ghosted, and scams, and catfishing, and all this other stuff, it makes it so ultra complicated in 2023 to just connect with someone that you find some comfort in. It's not even about marriage or long term relationship. It's just about a connection. You can't find a connection because no one gives each other a chance, and now they're siloing them into the ugly people and beautiful people. Fuck that, dude. Fuck that.

That seems crazy.

It does seem cray-cray.

I feel so bad for everybody that's having to.

Go through that. I know. But I guess when you grow up with the technology, I think Christina would be considered a technology first generation, where she was the first generation of people that grew up in the Internet age from day one, from the time that they were born. Right. And so Astrid is also a technology first generation. And we're just one step behind that, you and I. Well, one, two, two and a half, three or four. Let's keep it warm. Yeah, let's keep it warm. 0.75. How big the step is?

We're not going to say how big that step is.

Yeah, it's a big step. It's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, one step. So we're one step behind that. So we understand analog and digital. We get it. We've lived in both worlds.

The amount of- And human.

In person. In person. Yeah, we had to go to a bar to.

Get laid.

I couldn't just swipe on Tinder and have someone come. We didn't even have fucking Uber when I started driving. Right. You had to call Earth Angels or whatever the fuck those people are called. And it became ultra complicated because they had to come pick up your car and you had to drop off your car. I took that.

Service a couple of times. I know. They would drive your car home.

It's the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

Yeah, but you're drunk. I know.

A lot of times I would sit in the back of the car so I could do cocaine in my own car while some guy from AA drove it home.

Oh, my God.

Eventually, they just knew me so well. They were like, There he is. Yeah, get in the back of the car. It's probably best you do that back there. I don't want to know. Then I was smoking, so I have to say, do you mind if I smoke? What am I asking you for? It's my fucking car. I'm not going to smoke. Oh, man. But the level of complexity of dating in 2023, in some ways it's real simple. You're either attracted to someone or you're not based on a picture you see. But then there's all the other ultra complexities that come with.

Dating in 2023. Exactly. It was hard enough just to think like, Okay, well, did that person like me? But not, is that person who they say they are?

Can I trust that what they're telling me on text message is how they actually are in real person? A whole thing. It seems like a big leap of faith.

But let's be positive and Papa Joe style.

Papa Joe style. Let's be positive.

Yeah, just positivity. We wish the best.

For all. We wish the best for everybody. And I'm going to use AI to make my next picture for Hinge.

We should do that. We just.

Want to make a little- She did that yearbook, the 90s yearbook thing. So she asked me for a bunch of pictures. And I'm like, No, don't do this stupid shit. I don't want my face up there uploaded to some AI platform. And what came back was the most highly disturbing thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It looked as if I was, I don't even know how to say this, like a-.

What did it aid you?

What did it do? No, what it does is it essentially makes pictures that it thinks would look good in a 1990s yearbook, right? Oh, okay. So let me see if I can find one of these pictures, because I'm sure you'll be as highly disturbed by it as I am. Oh, here, look. That's the picture. I'll put this up on YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak. That's supposed to be you? That's supposed to be me in a 90s yearbook. Flip, do I not look like a Midwestern? Maybe he's Midwestern. Like a Midwestern farmers version of Ryan Felipe. Yeah, the C2. I look awful. Look at that. Oh, my God. Oh, that's funny. Look at this.

Oh, the die.

That's too funny. But you know what? I bet those pictures will get a higher score on Hinge than my normal pictures. Maybe. Me holding one of my daughters upside down with some flash face on it.

We should sign on to one of those, though, just so we can see how it works.

I totally agree with you.

And you.

Know what we'll do? What's that?

Is stop doing it immediately because it's.

Too much work. Yeah, I don't want to catfish anybody. I don't want to actually start talking to somebody, nor do I want my wife to divorce me when she finds a hinge on the commercial break phone. Oh, never mind. And she's like, What's this all about? Research. She had questions about fakey bee. Yeah, research. I've used that one one too many times. Why is Dua Lip a nude on your screen saver? Research. What are you researching? I don't know. Or Cameltoe? I don't know. I'm researching something.

It was something that Chrisie and I were.

Talking about. Yeah, it's something that Chrisie and I were talking about. You were talking about Dua Lip as Cameltoe. Yeah, it's a commercial break. I'm doing my thing. Lipp, you started it. I don't think so.

I thought it was very interesting too that maybe the viewers and listeners would like to actually hear Christina and Astrid, people that we.

Talk about. Yes. I thought so, too. That was nice. People have heard Christina because she does some of our liners, and sometimes she'll pop in a commercial or two. But she also is such a genuine person. She is. I just love Christina. And she's a TCB. I don't even know how to say this. She is the epitome of TCB. Her mind works in ways that the collective TCB audience, I think, does also.

It's a degenerative mind.

Yes. It's a degenerative mind.

It's a.

Degenerative mind. It's slowly going away. Okay. She's got a bad case of TCB dementia. Careful, Christina. Careful. Yeah, pretty soon you'll be doing fact news or fiction 30 seconds or less, too. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brian, we get it. But back to me. I mean, this TCB promo. Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb3, and you might just hear yourself on the show. Want to text us instead? Lucky for you, we also have a number just for that. Text us at 85, tcb8383, and give us compliments. You can also always go to tcbpodcast. Com for all of our audio and video. Find us on Instagram @thecommercialbreak and on TikTok @tcbpodcast, and find us on YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak for fully-edited episodes. Now that that's done, let's listen to a few sponsors and get back to this episode of The commercial break. Well, Carissa, I thought, unless you have any other notes you.

Want to share. Well, no, the other one was, and maybe these were just ones that I wanted to tell Astrid, but I, too, do not like mint chocolate chip.

You don't like mint.

Chocolate chip? No, I don't think they go together. How in the world? And she said that same thing. I know. She was like, They just don't go together. Each of them separately is good. I feel the.

Same way. So I looked this up, and the fifth most popular ice cream sold in the United States is mint, chocolate, chip.

Got to be.

People love it. People love it.

I'm the same way. I don't like.

It together. You don't get those together, huh? What would you put mint on?

A mint stands on its own.

Like a peppermint? Yeah. Like a peppermint candy or something like that? Yeah. Okay. All right, listen, I'm not a peppermint guy. I am a.

Mint guy. I like mint better than peppermint as well.

Mint chocolate chip is not peppermint chocolate chip. That's a whole different thing. That's like a Chick-fil-A milk shake that I don't care for. My dad loves those things. I'm like, Dad, you're going to die. They have sharp shards of -.

They do.

They're like slivers. Yes, slivers. I think it's going to go down your throat, bust up your guts. You're going to have diverticulitis from fucking milk shakes. Stop it. What are you doing? You're like a two-year-old.

I, too, want to go to Iceland. Oh, okay. Ashtrad mentioned Iceland because you guys were talking about your favorite places and you want to go. So I think we take a TCB.

Trip to Iceland. God, would I love that.

Somebody's going to start paying us. Main reason is I want to see the Northern Lights. So that's a bucket.

List then. I have some Northern Lights. It comes in the form of a gummy. I'll give you some little bit later on.

Perfect. And let's see. Brian, I had a note for you.

Oh, you do?

You wanted to be a woman.

For a day. I did want to be a woman for a day.

I was very interested in hearing that.

I have daughters?

Do you specifically know which woman?

Duolipah. Exactly. Exactly, I knew.

I'd even take Taylor Swift. I don't know, Ariana Grande.

Yeah, because I'm like, Huh, Brian wants to be a woman for a day. Which one?

I want to be the.

One that I can- And also, which stage of the month would Brian like to be a woman?

Oh, well, don't throw me into the fire. Get me warmed up a little bit first. I know what you're saying.

I'll just leave it there. You were thinking of Dua Lipa. I was thinking of Dua Lipa. I mean, I would like to be Dua Lipa, the woman Dua Lipa.

For a day. For just one day. I have daughters. I've always befriended women in my life. You have. You are. It's just one of those things I just feel real kinship with the female form. And women love you. And women love you. Yes, they do. They do. Seriously. And I don't know, just for some reason, but I can't truly understand somebody until I spend a day in their shoes. Actually, it doesn't really a day in their bra.

A day in their Camel toe.

I can't understand you unless I spend a day captivating as you and recording it for when I get back to my Brian self. Exactly. I don't know. Just seems like something I could gain a lot of perspective from. And hey, who doesn't need a little bit more perspective. You know what.

I'm saying? That's true. Very true.

Well, you're back. Even if it's just for this episode, Chrissy will be back in the chair regularly. You got an episode today, and we might have a couple more Christina Astrid episodes, and then we'll get back with Chrissy next week and after she takes care of some details. But I know I speak for the entirety of the family, the TCB family, and the audience, some of which have been very vocal about you being gone and expressing their love and support for you. I will share this. There is just no replacement for Chrissy Holdley. And I'm so glad that even if it's just for right now, you're back. And hopefully next week or the week after that, we'll get back to continuous, regular episodes.

With- And we might even have a surprise in store.

I think we do have a surprise in store. We're working on it.

It's not in the notebook.

It's not in the notebook.

So that.

Means it won't happen. So it's probably happening.

Well, thank you, Brian. I appreciate it. It's been a load off of my shoulders, because I know I was like, Wait, I got to get what we going to do? Can we fit one in? You were the one. You were so good, and that's why we're best friends. You said, No. Yeah, no. No, do not. It's okay. Take some time off. We'll figure it out on our end. It's no problem in that... Seriously, it was a huge relief to me.

I got you, girl. No, I got you. There's just some things in life, and this happens to be one of the three things in life that are more important than the commercial break. It's our families, our own health, and literally everything else. Then comes the commercial break. Right. Well, we're glad to have you back. I thought what a better way, being the sensitive guy that I am, I thought what a better way to celebrate you back here in the studio and celebrate Papa Joe on his journey than to take a listen to what Theresa Caputo has to say about dead people. There's still hope, Christy. There's still hope we can talk to Papa Joe one more time. Oh, TC. Oh, TC, and the helmet head of hers. I should share this before we get into the Theresa Caputo video.

Tc and the helmet.

Sounds like a bad name. Tc and the helmet. I know it does, doesn't it? Our next sticker is going to be a piggy-fronting sticker.

Piggy-fronting, yes.

So if you want a piggy-fronting, stick it. Listen, I wanted to do hoohah, hoonah.

Well, I know a lot of people are loving the hoohah, hoonah. They love it. Who sell.

Out in stores. But I just want to share this. I don't want to come across as misappropriating cultural phenomenon. So I had a little trouble understanding- Deep. Yeah, it is deep. And it's unfortunately sometimes the way I think. I'm much better off if I just don't think about things.

We're just talking about the song.

Yeah, I know. We're just talking about the song. But then the imagery that had to go with it and all this other stuff, I felt like we were touching a little bit of the third rail, and I didn't want to come across as insensitive or appropriating. I still want to do this sticker, but we just have to find out the right way.

I mean, Hinsh is putting people in Rose Jail.

That's true. So who hot? Who not? Exactly. Who hot? Who not? How many roses you got?

Wait, before all of this happened, there's been a lot going on. I went to MenFO, too. Yeah, that's true. It was like MenFO straight into that fire, into another fire. But I went to a steak dinner along the way, and there was an au point on the menu, and I took a picture.

Of course you did, because who hot? Who not? A plav on your block. A plav on your chop. Excuse me. All right, I was trolled on the internet without you. And you do. As I do like to do. And I found one of our favorites, Theresa Caputo, doing a live reading. And I am.

Going to-.

And.

Let's take a listen to that. Oh, my gosh. And we're in a new studio, by the way. It's a new listener. Oh, yeah, brand new studio. Not actually a completely new studio, but it's rearranged.

We're in the same location. Refreshed.

You guys did such a good job doing this. It looks amazing. Yeah, it looks.

Really good, doesn't it? Well, that's because we had a professional come in and actually take care of it for us. After five, four years of doing this show, 400 episodes, 500 hours of content, so many missed opportunities, so many wrong buttons and wrong wires and changing this and everything breaking and almost setting ourselves on fire a number of times, I just decided, you know what, Ryan? Bit the bull. Stop being such a cheap asshole and call someone who knows what the fuck they're doing to come in here and do it for us. And he did a great job. I mean.

He really did. It looks amazing. And so now we can just watch the clip.

Straight ahead. That should make it for a better viewing.

Experience on YouTube. Yeah, maybe.

At the back of our Yeah, now you get the front of our faces instead of the back of our heads. Although that was a little mystery science Theater 3000. I like that vibe, but whatever. I'm not sure you didn't go to YouTube to see the back of my balding head. Frankie's follicles all out there. Here's an idea. Turn the fucking camera around, asshole.

You got to look this.

Head over the fuckers and Brian's follicles. I was better off on Frankie's.

Head.

Son of a bitch. Settle down back there.

His follicles are feisty.

I know they are. Well, you'd be feisty, too, if you're on the top of this head. I shower 14 times a day. I change outfits six times a day. I put cream everywhere. I shave my head religiously for no reason. All right, let's take a listen to what Theresa has to say. Here she is.

And I am going to talk about the young male again. The young male? Young male for me is anyone that left the physical world before we left, but before we feel their time.

Oh, okay, so that's anybody? That's literally anybody. She said, A young male is someone that we feel left this earth before- Before we did? Before his time. Oh, before his time. Listen, again, here is a perfect example. I want you to listen to this. Let's listen to this back.

I would call Papa Joe a.

Young male. Of course you would. That's the point. It's literally anybody fits in that category. If you're male and dead, you fit in that category. Whoever says, Oh, he went too late.

Yeah, he was way past his time.

That guy should have died 10 years ago. What the fuck? No one ever says that. Everyone always says, Even for Papa Joe, he went too soon. The guy was 92 years old. He went exactly when he should have.

I'm going to talk about the young male again. The young male for me is anyone that left the physical world before we left, but before we feel their time. Who is that to you, ma'am?

Who is that?

Tell me now. God, I know.

Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am, you?

Ma'am. And this woman just happens to be in the front row.

Oh, yeah, this woman happens to be in the front row. Not even in a row. She's sitting in a set of chairs that were put out specifically for this.

Yeah, exactly. You can tell she's not with that guy.

I got to be honest, the lady looks familiar. I feel like she's been on another Theresa Caputo video. She might have been.

They keep having me look over here. So I don't know if he was like a boyfriend, a friend. Do you understand that? Because I felt this bond. And then I almost felt.

Like a husband. They always make me look over here. They got a remote control on my eyeballs. That's why one of them goes sideways. Wade sometimes. Such a dumb ass, Theresa.

Even if you weren't married to him, it's the bond that you shared with them, this close bond. Is that correct?

Like, as.

If you.

Grew up with him. She didn't give her a chance to answer. She just rolls right over. Is that correct? Yes. Okay, let's move on. Look at the guy next to this lady.

Yeah. What?

I don't believe in none of this shit. You all fucking with ghosts and goblins and shit.

Does he like your brother? Yes. So when I said, Who lost the brother? And I looked right over here. Do you understand that? It's because I.

Feel- Did she? I hate how patronizing she is.

She didn't. I thought she was just a young male. Yeah.

Well, Theresa is pointing out that this lady didn't raise her hand when Theresa said something. But she looked there. Yeah, but she looked there. You were supposed to raise your hand. Why didn't you raise your hand?

I don't see the way we see here in the physical world. He says you still can come to. He goes, You know, Theresa, the funny thing is I'm not here in the physical world, but she asks me questions.

Every day. So The funny.

Thing is, Theresa, let me just.

Tell you. Well, Theresa, while we're here stuck in the Netherlands, I let you know. My wife still asks me questions every day. Can you tell her to shut her fucking mouth? I died to get away from her.

I'm acknowledging for you that if you feel that you did not get the opportunity to say goodbye to him, for him, who doesn't say that?

Who doesn't talk to their loved ones? Of course. I've been talking to Papa Joe this.

Whole time. Yeah, come on, you got an ongoing conversation.

Talk to your.

Loved ones. This is such generalization. I can do this. We can do this. We can make this happen. We could go from the great comedy duo, Brian and Kristi, to the great psychic duo, Kristi and Brian. The psychic comedy duo. That's right, the psychic comedy duo. We should do this. You know we always say we're going to do this, but we'd never do this. I'm talking about literally anything we say we're going.

To do. Exactly. To acknowledge what you're feeling now, what you say to him now, know that that's his way of acknowledging that he hears you and validating that nothing is ever left unsaid. Okay. Did he have tattoos or what's with the tattoos?

No, he didn't. You should see this lady's face. I mean, once again.

A generalization, there's so many people that have tattoos now. Everybody has a tattoo. But yeah, is it like, No.

Yeah, she's like, No, I don't think so. He had a birthmark on his penis in the shape of a cruise ship. We called him cruise ship, Kyle.

Who's that guy.

Next to her? I don't know, but he's all up on her. He's like, You're one hot old lady. There's a guy sitting next to her, and the guy looks like maybe 18, 19 years old or a really baby faced, 25-year-old. But he is just - He's the tip? Yeah. He's like, You are so hot.

I'm into older tips. That or he's with Theresa, and he's somehow tapping her or doing -.

Yeah, he's tapping her back.

Yeah. Where's the tattoo in memory of their mother?

What? You just moved on from the moment? Oh, she just moved on. Yeah. Does he have a tattoo? No? Okay.

Who has a tattoo? Who has a tattoo? Who's ever seen a tattoo? Is anybody in here know of a tattoo person? No? Let me walk to the next studio. She walks over to Dave Leterman's studio, and she's like, Anybody here have a tattoo?

Yeah, I have a tattoo, so why don't I- Okay.

And is your mom departed? No. She's here. Who's the mother figure for you?

That lady just totally busted her. Theresa goes, Who's the brother with the tattoo? This lady goes, I don't have a brother, but I have a tattoo. Theresa rolls with it. She says, Do you have a mother that's dead? She says, No. Who does? Who does? I feel like a fucking owl now.

That's... Is her mother departed? Is her mother departed? Yeah. Okay, so just know that she's stepping forward.

Oh, her mother's mother is departed. Whose mother? Her mother's mother is departed.

She was just going to - Her great-great-grandmother?

Yes, she's just going to keep on going down the line. Was your mother's mother's mother's mother's departed? Does your mother's mother's mother's mother have any family members that were departed and also had a vagina? Yes? Spirit was telling me. Why didn't you raise your hand? Okay, podcast besties. Time for one more quick break, and then it's back to the drama. Check out tcbpodcast. Com for all of our episodes and YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak for fully edited video episodes. Find us on Instagramat the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. And of course, if you want to get in touch with us, which like, of course you do, leave us a voicemail at (626) ask-tcb-3 or text us at (855) tcb-8383. Now let's listen to some sponsors and get this show going.

Who has the same tattoo as you? Because she tells me that your sister or somebody else has the same tattoo as you. Is that correct?

My sister.

Has the same exact tattoo as you?

Well, it's.

My sister.

But now did someone survive something or you feel like someone should have survived or didn't survive? Because I heard...

Did someone survive something or did someone didn't survive? They should have survived. Did you, girls? Any survival?

Yes. Did you, girls, survive the screening of 50 Shades of gray? Because there's a lot of survivors out there of there.

They should have survived. They're not survived. Maybe, sure.

Yeah. No, they all died.

That's unbelievable. I said to the grandmother, I said, Why are you showing me this protection with angel wings? How did you.

Say that to the grandmother? When you're standing right there yapping and yammering with this girl?

She was talking to the other guy, a.

Young male. I can't even hold one conversation at a time, let alone multiple conversations. This girl is so full of shit.

That's my symbol for where we feel that something happened to a loved one where they should have died or should have been more seriously injured than they were.

Validating that she died.

Should have died. We feel that somebody should have been more seriously injured than they were. Hey, Bob. Hey, Bob, it's Brian. How are you doing? Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know if you heard, but I was in Africa. Yeah, in Africa chasing the lions, and the lion ate the bottom half of your body, both your arms, and took out both your eyes. Yes. God, thank God you weren't more injured. I don't know what that means. Well, we all thought you were going to have your head eaten, too. So listen now, I got a lot of things to do, but best to you.

Okay, bye-bye. She's just talking in circles.

Of course she is.

The way that she should have died. Why is she seeing somebody that should have died?

Who should have died or been more seriously injured than they were? Well, how is she seeing somebody that's not dead? I know. You get a phone call in the middle of the night and go, Oh, my God, that was Theresa. Her husband, Bob, was just in a horrible accident.

He.

Really should have died. Yeah, he's going to be in a coma for the next 10 years. You roll over and go, Guys, I should have just looked at that. I agree with you. Let's call her back.

Do you see the angel wings? Yes.

I've detected them, is that correct? So know that when I sense the mother and the brother energy, and I look directly at you two before the break? No, I'm like.

What the fuck is that? Everyone's scared of her because she's yelling at everybody.

No, she's getting that.

Person's face. Yeah, she's gotten aggressive. I think the reason why she's gotten aggressive is because it's becoming clear that this old parlor trip is not working as much as it used to. So she has to validate herself even more than she already does. First of all, Theresa is Theresa's biggest fan. She has a whole thing going on her head about how wonderful she is and all this wonderful stuff. But she's clearly just lying to everybody, number one. Number two is that when people don't immediately agree with what she's saying, she then finds some generalization that everyone can hang on to, basically like, do you know somebody who died? Yes, I do. Well, then why didn't you raise your hand? I didn't raise my hand because what you said was not relevant to me.

But that was your loved ones. Do you understand that? You take care or you watch. Why do I feel like that? Everyone's there for your mom. Well, I see this is what they showed me. I don't have a meaning for this. So when Spirit shows me something, I always like to say because it's your message, so it's up to you to interpret it. They showed.

Me- They showed me a little cup with a lid on it, and it had some markings on the side. They asked me if you could pee in this and send in a sample. Does that make sense? I'm not really sure what it means, but it usually means that there's a penis somewhere.

Mother's standing in the middle, and everyone's standing around her and supporting her and giving her the encouragement to be strong. And you know that?

What's that saying? Who's that guy? It's Michael Strayhand. He's part of the Michael and Kelly show back when it was on. So Michael Strayhand just came up and removed the microphone from the girl that Theresa was talking to. I think either Michael is trying to protect her, like, Hey, Theresa, leave her alone, or go to commercial break.

Let's.

Get out of this bullshit. So four times you've been on this show since my one year as being Michael, Strayhand, and Kelly.

That's what I feel like with your mom. Do you understand that? No. No. So know that what she felt when she was watched over by her parent, because now Father Energy's step forward. Who's that? My grandfather. So know that they both.

Are watching. Why did a girl just walk up with a computer in her hand showing Theresa something? Is she showing her her Facebook page? Or what is going on there?

I don't know.

It's very strange. I don't think the camera is supposed to be catching what's going on right now, actually.

Over her and giving her the strength when she says, How did.

I get through this? So what you can't see, let me describe this because I keep on forgetting we're on a podcast, what you can't see is that there is a girl, looks like an assistant of Theresa Caputo, walked up with an open MacBook and is literally trying to show her something. She's putting in her face, trying to show her something. I'm wondering if that's a cue for a commercial break or that's some information she's trying to convey to Theresa about this woman.

Besides the love of my family and the support of my family, no, that is... And she goes, Can you ask so and so why they didn't get the matching tattoo also? I don't know what.

Is.

Happening. Did you get the same tattoo?

I have it.

Sheoh, you have it too? Who are you?

Stacy, she's talking about mom. Oh, who are you? My sister. Oh, I know. Wait, all these people. I thought you were like a dead person or something coming out from the thing. I'm like, Whoa. They got to do that. What? What in the good, jolly circus fuck is going on here? All of a sudden, it's a big free-for-all. Sisters are popping out of the woodwork. Teresa's claiming they're dead people. I thought you were a dead person.

You might want to put a little makeup on.

You look dead. You look terrible. And now we know how Theresa knew that these three ladies had the same tattoos. They're all in the same audience. I thought it was Kelly for a minute. I almost passed out too. I thought it was- That's so amazing. I'm crying. I have to.

Come out here. Okay, so how do you connect?

How do you two connect? We're sisters, you dip shit.

Why was the sister off on the.

Other side? I don't know, I guess. Now we know. You know why the sister's on the other side? Because these people are planted there, so that they're the believers. They're the people who are likely to believe what Theresa is saying. They've identified them. They put them upfront. They say you may have an opportunity to talk with Theresa, and then everybody else gets put everywhere else. Because do you think for one second you would fly all the way up to New York to watch The Michael and Kelly Show, of which you're probably a big fan with all of your sisters and then not sit together? No. No, of course not.

Oh, so you have matching tattoos and this is for your mom. Oh.

I'm like.

Freaking out. It's crazy. Everyone's standing around your mom, strong. I'm like, I'm about to have a heart attack, literally. I'm about to die. She should have still be sick or more seriously injured, whatever it may be, but acknowledging that the strength of spirit, her loved ones here in the physical world, and more importantly, prayer, if you don't mind me saying.

I still don't get this. It should have been more sick or-or more seriously injured.

Chrissy, it's me. Spirit. Papa Spirit. Papa Spirit, Eagle-Eagle here. Don't worry, we're going to get to the bottom of this together.

I am glad. Papa Joe, I need you to get to the bottom of.

Things here. Definitely. But first, I need to injure myself more. Would you like me to be more dead, Chrissy? So recently, Theresa wants us all to be more dead and more injured.

She should have been more sick.

That's right. How did she know it's a tattoo? Everybody has a tattoo, Theresa. You didn't ask who has a penis piercing, did you? No. Why? Because it's a parlor trip that's not working very well. Now you're surrounded by people who believe you and so many more that don't.

Has gotten her through this and wanting you to know that as you pray to your loved ones, prayers. Your prayers were not only heard, but they were answered.

What was the prayer?

She's literally full of horse shit. I watch her in the morning. She bathes at her in horse shit. Why? Because it's horse hair. Yeah. Prayer are answered. That's not allowed in the rulebook. And I've been here for many years. Mr. Spirit, out. She's a 15-year.

Survivor of uterine cancer. Oh, wow. And she.

Was diagnosed with.

Pancreatic cancer two years ago, so she's been battling for a long time. But she's going to get through it. Because you know.

What they just told me? One way or the other?

Holy shit. You have crossed the line, Theresa. You've crossed the line. You don't start telling people that they're going to get through something so definitively you have some magic answers that people are going to get through it. You were just claiming that people aren't injured enough, they're not dead enough. They haven't gone too soon enough. Now you're claiming she's going to be fine. Don't worry. She's going to make a miraculous recovery from uterine cancer. What a mean thing to say to somebody, honestly.

Honestly. And like I have said before, I can't imagine there's some people out there that would really hang on to what she's saying and then want more. Then like, Well, tell me more. You can talk to her. You can see her. Why wouldn't you? I think that somebody is able to talk to my dead mom, why would not I want to keep.

Talking to her? You would be their best friend. You would try and be their best friend. It might.

Drive some people crazy. They had a message. Great. See you.

Yeah, honestly. Don't you remember me? You made that prediction on Kathy and Kelly or Michael and Kelly or whatever it is, three minutes ago? No, I don't remember you because I was all full of shit. I just made it up. She's got to have people. She's got to have many, many stalkers.

Well, she brought it on herself, as far as I'm concerned.

That's every day. I'm not going to die of cancer. I am not going to let cancer- She.

Tells you that every day.

She tells you that every day. That's why we have these tattoos. Perfect. But yours is under your shirt.

Yeah.

So know that she will get through this. Was that how she looked at you?

She's not a medical doctor. She's not a medical doctor. Now she's in the prediction business. So not only can she talk to people- Of living people. -of living people. Yes. So tell us what the lottery numbers are tomorrow, Theresa. Exactly. That's what I need to get through. I need to get through the zeroes in my bank account. Yeah.

Her face, or were you going to take her for a facial or something, or like a day of pampering?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We were going to do a face-off. We talked to nick cage and he agreed.

To give us- No, our sick mother, we were never going to take her to get pampered.

That's right. Ever.

No, she's- That'sin now.

She's been here too long. She's not sick enough. But we did write nick cage, and he agreed to swap faces with her for a couple of days. So we're going to go there and do that. God. But she couldn't go because of chemo.

Because I was just told she will get that day of pampering with the facial and everything else.

You were told by who? Who's in the business of making predictions? What the fuck happened here? This is the best Theresa, Camuto video yet. You want to know why? Because we now learned that not only is she full of shit about people that are dead, but she's full of shit about people that are living, too.

Yeah, she's just making full predictions.

Oh, Chrissy, this is bad. Bad, bad, bad. So hurtful to these people.

I'm.

Sorry. Where did you.

Come from? From the back.

This is our top teacher. Well, I've been in a.

Car for three hours, so I'm a little out of a loop here. I literally ran in, threw my dress on, and came.

Out here. We all feel so bad for you, Theresa. Right. Thoughts and prayers.

You were really busy.

Thoughts and prayers, Theresa. Thoughts and prayers. That was crazy. I'm like, You know. No wonder that husband of hers went crazy. Theresa's husband.

Wait, how do you know her?

That's my sister. Oh, and how do you know her? And my cousin has.

A tattoo, and our.

Little sister.

Has a tattoo. Perfect. So everyone, is there a boy cousin or like a boy in the family?

Is there a.

Boy in the family? Is there a boy in the family? No, we were born via immaculate conception.

Right, exactly. We all spawned about our little eggs.

I'm Mary Magdalene, and this is my son Joseph. No, boys. Okay, so at first I was like, Oh, well, she was oddly accurate about the tattoos. Does anybody else have that tattoo?

But they're very.

Prominently shown. So just to let the viewers- That says, live. Yeah, it says, live, and then it says, mom. So it says, live, mom, right? It doesn't say live, mom, because that would make no sense. It says live mom.

But here's the thing. It was a very good guess.

This all makes sense now. The lady sitting next to her has the tattoo on her foot. Theresa could clearly see that. Absolutely. So she asked, does anybody have tattoos? Does anybody with tattoos make anything? And she could also see the.

Tattoo on that girl's arm. Yeah, because then when she identifies the person with the tattoo, then you can weave your web of grandma's watching out for you.

This is unbelievable. So transparent. How are you not sitting in the audience absorbing that information right now and thinking, Well, that was a pretty easy dot to connect. One girl has it clearly on her arm. One girl has it clearly on her foot, and they're sitting fucking next to each other.

Have the tattoos? No. Because they're teasing, I'm going, Why don't they have the tattoos? But just teasing. It doesn't mean that they have to go out and go get tattoos.

Oh, we were all going to go get tattoos because you said so. Theresa told us too.

Why doesn't everybody.

Have a dad? I know.

And who.

Is speaking to her? Again, mom's.

Still alive. The mom's mom. The great grandma of these people are literally coming through, telling her her daughter is going to survive cancer and not getting a tattoo, but she is going to get a facial. Don't worry about that. That one's coming.

Also, mom, holistically, to incorporate that into her treatment as well. Do you understand that?

Yeah. Do you understand that? Eat lots of oranges. I hear vitamin C is good for you.

Because when they show me acupuncture, it's just my symbol for holistic things. So if you were looking into that, that that is also going to help her have a better quality and also quantity of life, but more importantly, the quality of life.

And the quality. Do you understand? Quantity and quality. Are you understanding and following me? She's going to have lots of quantity of life, and she's going to have lots of quality of life. We're going to give her extra life. All she.

Needs to go is get acupuncture done. That's right. And then she'll be able to get on her way with that girls' day, pampering.

I get acupuncture every three days when they weave this fucking thing to my head.

That's on my head.

Oh, my God. That hair is just... It defies gravity. Yes. Yeah, you know how they're looking for the Fifth Law of nature or something like that? I think the fifth law of nature is Theresa's hair.

There has to be at least one can of spray. Oh, crazy. It's terrible.

It's terrible. She's terrible.

It has to be a wig. Of course.

Does she say I can't wear my shoes? Because she's going to be able to wear her shoes and go for that day of spa that you want to take her to.

A thousand bucks we follow up on these ladies. That lady died. A thousand bucks. I mean, I hope she didn't. I don't wish ill upon anybody, and I certainly don't wish anybody dead.

No, I was thinking the same thing about follow-ups and all of this stuff. Half the time it's true, half the time it's not. You're just going to say something, and literally the law of-.

The law of averages is going to work in your favor. -for a of averages, yes, half time will be right. Yeah, she's got cancer as a small chance she could survive, right? Yeah. Let's give them a little bit of hope to keep on going. But you're really just being mean, because now when she passes away, then you're going to be let down. If you believe in Theresa, your expectation is that what she says is going to come true. But she can't make predictions. She's not fucking Nostradamas. Well, congratulations. Thank you so much. You're very very welcome.

Oh, you're very welcome.

Hey, Matt, I got to say thank you. Thank you. Oh, you're very welcome. You're very welcome. Glad we could lie to you this entire time. Glad it all turned out okay.

Oh, Chris.

Oh, Theresa. Good old Theresa. Well, there you go. If we could ever have Theresa Caputo on the show, we'd see if we could talk to Papa Joe.

I'll talk to Papa.

Joe on my own. You talk to Papa Joe on your own. You ask him for that secret word, and when Theresa gets in here, and we're going to go for it. That's Papa Joe... I'm not a good fan of it. Oh, my gosh. Well, listen, it's good to have Chrissy back in studio. Good to be back. Always good to do a Theresa Caputo video. If you want your piggy-fronting sticker, I don't have one physically to show you yet, but if you want your piggy, it's on the way. I can't wait to see this. Yeah, I know. It's great. It's fantastic. If you want your piggy-fronting sticker, go to tcbpodcast. Com. Hit the Contact Us button and send us your address. There's a little drop-down menu. It can say, I want my sticker. Go get your sticker. Send us your address. Ask it or drop one in the mail soon enough. And you can also get the entire library of TCB is available on that website, audio and video. We love you. We love you. We love you. Thank you so much for the kind reviews and comments and text messages over the last couple of weeks.

Keep them coming. 626, ask TCB 3. That's one. 626, ask TCB 3. You can text us, but more importantly, you can leave us a voicemail and be on an episode of the commercial break. You have an Ask TCB. Bryan's mom's coming back. You want to ask Brian's mom for some advice. You have questions, comments, concerns, you want to tell us a dating story, whatever, leave it on the voicemail. If you don't want your real name used, don't leave your real name on the voicemail because I could play it. I'll try and cut out the names just for shits and gigs, but you never know, Chrissy.

You never know.

You never know. All right, so you got the phone number. How about the YouTube channel? Youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Fully edited episodes pretty much the same day that you're here on the audio feed. Sometimes we're a little ahead or a little behind. You can also go to Instagram at the.

Commercial break. I don't know.

If we're ahead. No, we're definitely not ahead.

From.

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Lights than ever. We have two new.

Ones, yes. There you go. Beautiful lights. All right, Chrissy, good to have you back. But I guess that's all we can do for today. I think so. I'll say that I love you. I love you.

Best to you. Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, on behalf of Papa Joe, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say.

Good.

Bye. Goodbye. I take a dick in and keep on licking. I take a dick in and keep on licking.