Oh, you want to see my Spotify wrapped? Come back with a motherfucking warrant. I'm not kidding. On this episode of The Commercial Break. Nothing gets my day going like pee-pee-pooh-pooh. Yes, pee-pee-pooh-pooh. I drop it in my eyes. In my face. I put it up my nose. In my face. Yes. I cum pee now.

That's got to be.

What's happening. Yeah, I'm a gidspee.

I'm disturbed.

I'm going to spurn count on this guy immediately because I just got to be killing something. The next episode of The commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and Kittens, welcome back to The commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the director of bullshit services, Tina. Tina, best to you.

Best to you, Brian.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Chrissy taking some personal family time right now. I just heard from her a couple of days ago. I believe she's going to be back for season number five, which starts in January. We're grateful to have her back in the studio whenever she can be back in the studio. Send all your, I say thoughts and prayers, meditations, whatever it is, send it over to Chris's way. All of it. She's going to need all of it. Her family is going to need all of it. I'm sure we'll get into it more when she gets back, but just know that she is okay and she will be back to the show. In the meantime, I'm grateful to have my good friend of many, many, many, many years, Tina, here with you. I'm just kissing your ass just a little bit. I wanted to ask you if you had seen that Mark Cuban is leaving Shark Tank.

No, I have not. Did you see that?

No. Why? In two days, he made two announcements that I thought were really big announcements. One is he's selling his shares, most of his shares in the Mavs, which he has owned for years and years and years for $3.8 billion. Do you know how much he bought that team for? I don't. 285 million. Wow. He is selling it to the Adelsins, who are the big casino magnates, the Adelson family or the Adelsin, whoever that guy's name is. He's selling it for $3.8 billion, reportedly. That's in a crazy return on investment. That will cure all the woes. I got to imagine the reason why he's leaving Shark Tank is number one, it probably gets boring after 10 years, right? Sure. You've seen it all, you've done it all. How much more can you do?

He just wants to golf.

I don't think he golfs, but maybe he does, I don't know. But he wants to go spend that money somewhere, somewhere is what he wants to do. I think he's trying to make prescription drugs. He has that Cost Plus application where you can buy cheap drugs on there. So he's trying to do something good for the world, I suppose. I like Mark. I've met him. I think he's a really nice guy. But also, Shark Tank has got to be losing some of its luster. I can't imagine it's got the big ratings that it always has had. No way. Not after season number.

50 or whatever. Everyone's a.

Little like, yeah. Yeah, they're all a little, okay, I've already seen it. Also, I think that the people are so prepared now to go into Shark Tank. It's a little boring. It's not like you're going to surprise anybody.

They already seem successful when they walk in. Yeah, it's like a PR pitch. Yeah, that's right.

I would say every, I mean, I don't know, because I don't watch the show religiously, but when the reruns come on late at night, sometimes I watch. I got to imagine three out of five of every entrepreneur that walks in there is so prepared that there aren't many surprises anymore. It's not.

As fun as.

It used to be. No, it's not as.

Fun as it used to be. You watch for The Trainrex once in a while.

The Trainrex don't happen.

As often. I know. That's why I think viewership has probably declined.

But here's the number one reason why I think Mark is leaving, and I don't know this because he hasn't told me this, because we don't communicate very often or at all ever. But he probably has lost a fair chunk of change-.

That's.

Probably fair. -cash basis on the deals that he makes. Because he makes so many deals on that show, how could you possibly come up on the winning end of that? One out of every... Not that consistently. -new businesses are a success after one out of 10 every new.

Businesses- Yeah, after 24 months or something crazy.

Like that. They close after, nine out of ten of them close after 24 months.

I did taxes for a lot of years. Not many new businesses make it, I.

Can't tell you how many of my new businesses have failed. All of them.

We had a few. They didn't make it either.

Yeah, that's true. We were young. I'm not sure drug dealing is considered a business, but hey, take it easy. Hey, slow down. But I got to imagine, over the years, he's just lost a bunch of money. Maybe not a bunch of money, but he's lost money. There's a few success stories in there. I'm sure he's making money. But overall, he's probably down. Why do you just want to keep losing money? He's as famous as he's going to get. You know what I'm saying? The Mavs are doing just fine. He's selling them for $3.5 billion. That's crazy. What else could the guy want to accomplish?

I want to know.

I want to know, too. I've got his email address. We could email him. Well, let's hit him up. I emailed him a few times. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, then that's not exciting to hear that, is it? Did he respond? He did. Okay, good. That's more exciting. He did respond, and he responded promptly. I won't share what the email was about, but it was something related to business. He responded promptly, within four minutes promptly. Wow. That's impressive. That is impressive.

I don't even respond to emails that promptly.

I purposefully don't respond to emails that promptly.

I barely respond to text that promptly.

Yeah, I know. I have this new rule, like I check emails once a day, and it's when I'm least stressed is when I check the emails. Because if I check them all the time in the bathroom in the morning when I'm still high from the night before I'm not kidding. Yeah, that's typically when I.

Check my emails. When the kids are.

Still asleep. But I mean, you got to be... You're Mark Cuban? Yeah. Everybody has your email address. One idiot gets it and publishes it on the internet. You're done. Everybody else has got it. Plus, it's like, Mark Cuban at whatever, so it's not really hard to figure out. But he responded so promptly, and then we had an email exchange in which he responded equally as promptly on those email exchanges. He's that guy. I like it. He said in many interviews like, if you're going to send me an email and I don't know you, he does know me, but I'm one of many, many people he also knows. I'm not at the top of his list, I can guarantee that. Having dinner with Brian one time is not going to make me some preeminent figure in his mind, especially since I'm not even sure I was supposed to be at the day. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. I was there. I showed up.

You had a seat. That's all that matters.

Yeah, somebody invited me. I'm not sure it was the person who should have been inviting me, but that's okay. I showed up anyway. But when you respond like that, he says, When you shoot your shot, don't give me some fucking perspective, some 28-long page-long- Yeah, deliver the baby. Yeah, deliver the baby. Get it done. I don't want any hellos or how you doing. I just need you to tell me what you need from me or you're looking to tell me, and then I'll decide whether or not- Cut the fluff. -cut the fluff. Cut the shit. You know what I'm still curious about with Mark? Is whatever happened to that fucking Fireside? Do you remember Fireside?

What happened?

I don't know.

It.

Vanished. It vanished. They called us and they say, Hey, Doodle, you're on Clubhouse. Let's do this thing, yeah. You're in the podcast universe. We need creators. We're going to get behind those creators. We're going to make a big push. We got producers from television and audio. I was so fucking excited. I was like, A good idea, and I'm actually being picked to be part of that good idea. Let's get in. I should have known better. If they were picking me, it was going to go straight to shit. They were picking the commercial break. They didn't have any other options. But I don't know. We did a few there, and then just- It didn't stick. It didn't stick. Everybody just disappeared. Now I go on that application and they are literally showing reruns of old television.

It doesn't track.

Hold on one second. I'm going to do something here while we're sitting here.

The motivation for the platform made sense. It seemed promising.

It did. It was like a clubhouse with video, and they were going to choose the creators- And.

They were a little more controlled content-wise.

Yes. Fallon's idea, Fallon, who started it with Mark, Fallon's idea was that, hey, listen, rather than have this free-for-all like Clubhouse is, where anybody can start a room and there's a shit talking and anti-Semitism, and all this other stuff that was going on on the platform. It got a little rowdy. It was a little Wild Wild West, yeah. Well, now it's the Wild Wild West. Now it's more like the wild, wild little town of San Antonio. I mean, it's like a tiny little platform now, Clubhouse is. But Fireside was supposed to be this place where Fallon and her people were going to choose the creators that they wanted to be on the platform, and they were going to give them all the support and love that they could have, and they were going to be successful inside of that platform. Inside the platform. And outside the platform. While it was a good idea, it never came to fruition. At least not with us. It didn't. I don't know how other creators had their experience. But now, ready? I'm going to open up. I'm so curious. I don't even know how to get to these things anymore.

Now I don't even have any idea how you do... Oh, here we go. Okay, there's an interview with Rob Thomas. Do you know this guy, the spiritual guide to the stars? Yes. Do you know him talking about Tyler or something or other?

I think.

I've seen him on- Okay, yeah, he has a show on A&E or something. Okay, so now the app is filled with all Tyler and old television shows.

We have streaming apps. What do we need another?

What is- I don't understand. I cannot understand for the life of me why we're running old television shows.

What a strange decision.

Isn't that really weird? Yeah. Then Clubhouse.

Which was a.

Thing that we were on, that we were excited to be a part of.

It was fun for a.

Little while, yeah. I'm telling you what, we did that Bill Burrow.

That.

Was so great. There were like 17,000 people. Henry Winkler. Who else did we have.

In there? Reya, what was her name?

We.

Had a.

Few, but yeah. Yeah, we had a few. Stephen... Who's that? Stephen Wright. Yes, that was.

A great room. Stephen Wright, who is like.

A legend, a fucking legend. If you don't know who Stephen Wright is, go watch a few of his comedy routines. You've never seen anything like it in your life. He's his own brand, for sure. He's his own brand. He is fucking hilarious, or was fucking hilarious. I don't see him out there too much anymore. But we had those people in that clubhouse room with Eddie Bill. And for Bill Burr, we had 17, 18,000 people in there.

It was wild.

It was crazy. I thought, this is it. We've come home. We've found our audio space. We're going to publish our podcast here. It's going to be a big deal. We're going to have a lot of people. We're early in, unbelievably, because we're usually last in, but now we're early in. Last to know.

You heard.

Here last. That's right. Buy low, sell high. That's right. But I have the opposite. I do the opposite. I buy low, I sell high. That's what I do. Or I buy high, I sell low. But I thought that Clubhouse was the answer to all our problems. We were so stoked. We were all so excited about this. Not a fucking thing happened. Nothing. Clubhouse, it went away, just like the pandemic, it just went away. Just as quickly as it came in, yeah. That's right. I think a couple of things, my opinion, I was thinking about this last night. Number one, it was perfect timing as far as Clubhouse was concerned.

Pandemic, especially, yeah.

November 2020, I think that the application rolls out to invited people. I got on there February 2021. By April 2021, there's like 25 million people on the platform. Those of us who just happened to be a couple of months early were getting some preferential treatment. I don't say preferential treatment, but we were showing up. We were visible.

Yeah, it's in great rooms.

The table reads. Absolutely. Then everything just took a dump as quickly as it got hot. As quickly as I ate it, it came out my ass. That's basically what happened. It's like cream and cereal. It goes right through you. That's it. It was like a flash in the pan. It was a moment. Now you go into that clubhouse, good luck finding a live room. I think I looked on there last night while I was thinking about it.

There were two live rooms. Two. No, that won't-We're.

Going to do a little research while we're.

Here on that. Fireside was supposed to be that alternative. It's supposed to be the answer to Clubhouse. It's supposed to be the answer to Clubhouse.

Look at this. One live room going on right now.

Oh, my goodness. One.

But now they've changed the whole app. And so now here's the deal. No longer are you pushed to open a live room with whoever wants to come in coming in. Now you tap a button, you make a message. Let's say, hey, it's Brian from the commercial break, and I'm looking to start a conversation on dick to duvet ratios. And you leave that message. Then other people can come in, listen to your message, and then add on to it. Oh, my dick to duvet ratio is seven, right? Then people, and on and on and on. So it's like a messaging platform that everybody's supposed to leave their message and have a collage. I don't fucking know.

Have you heard of Reddit?

Have you heard of Reels? I mean, come on. Yeah, Reddit, Reels, voice messages. Facebook. Group text, WhatsApp, Signal. Have you heard of any of it? Kick. Yeah, it's all there for the taking. That's right. You're not reinventing the wheel. You probably should have done this back when you had 20 million people a month using the application. Another...

Dud.

Another Dud. We are just associated with so many dud. Technological dud. That's right, so many dud. You know who is not a dud, who we might be associated with? Who's coming in on the very next episode? Steve O is coming in on the very next episode. I'm super excited about this.

I cannot even believe it.

Yes. Please tune in on Tuesday as we roll out the Steve O interview. Can't wait. I'm super excited about this. I'm so excited. I'm so stoked about this. I can guarantee Steve O was never on Clubhouse. Maybe he was.

Probablyor not?

You know what used to happen in Clubhouse? I remember one time Elon Musk jumped on. A number of times he jumped on. When he jumped on, they had a 25,000 person per room limit due to data requirements. What they would do, what people would do, is they would open up a sub-room, right? That sub-room would just carry the audio of the Elon Musk room, and then someone would be there hosting the room, and they could jump in and talk about whatever Elon was saying. I remember one time when Elon jumped in and there were 12, 15 sub-rooms that also had 20, 25,000 people in them. That's insane.

That's insane. Complete insanity.

When Joe Regan came on, it broke the fucking thing. Oh, yeah. Everybodys was like, This is it. We've been crowned the new king of audio. Everything's going to go tits up from here. We're all going to walk away with billions of dollars. I couldn't, for the life of me, get anyone to sponsor a room. I think I got one person to sponsor a room, but I wasn't that popular. I wasn't like some of those people running around.

Like, was that Cooke? Sorry. Cooke. We talked to him a few times.

We did an interview with him. I did an interview with Dane in Clubhouse. He was perfectly lovely. I opened up with a question that I thought was very well thought out. I said, Hey, tell me... What I said was, What is the first thing you remember being funny? What's the first audio, television joke that you heard that you remember being funny. What sparked that for you? And he gave me a very nice answer. And then the second one was, I said, Does sobriety bring some of that to... Does sobriety give you a new perspective on what's funny or not funny? Because I know you had your problems with cocaine and stuff like that. And hes goes, I've never done drugs in my entire life. I don't drink. And I go, No, you were on Howard Stern, and you talked about that one time. And he goes, That was a joke, and I've never done drugs. It's widely known that I don't do drugs, and I've never drank. I was like, Well, this interview just went to shit.

Yeah, and that's a wrap.

It's a prime example of why you should prepare for an interview because I did not prepare properly for that interview. I literally looked at Wikipedia seven minutes beforehand and listened to 12 minutes of a Howard Stern interview and that one. But he was perfectly lovely on the thing. But the thing about Dane is, and listen, I don't have the balls to get up and talk in front of 30,000 people. Sure. I'm not here to cast, throw stones, because we probably couldn't get 30,000 people in a room. I'm not here to knock on Dane Cook and his comedy. But what I will say is that Dane Cook seems to be the biggest fan of Dane Cook. When he watches Instagram and stuff like that, he just... I don't know, we've interviewed just a couple of people here. They all seem to be very humble, authentic, self-aware. Self-aware. Yeah. They're not here with a bunch of inside jokes and snickering and all that other stuff. But there's this certain brand of comic who they seem to be their own biggest fans. Yeah. And Dane is one of those people who gets on Instagram, and he's just all about Dane.

I know. I know people that are in love with themselves. Yeah. It's hard for them to have any room in their life or much else.

Okay, settle down. I didn't bring you on here to beat me up. I asked you to be my co-host while Chrissy was gone. Okay, that's it. That's all I did. But do you know what I'm saying? I do. It drives me fucking crazy. Who is that girl that was on Clubhouse that was a Leah or something or other? Do you remember her? No. No. Okay, I'm not going to say her full name out loud. I know I do remember her, and I just won't say it out loud. But then there's this brand of comedy that everybody seems to be very self-involved. It's all inside jokes. It's all snickering. I don't like it because they're funny and I'm not, so I get very jealous of them. Then I come out here and I talk shit about them. All right, so let's take our first break. I have got something loaded up from deep in the anales of the internet. I can't wait. And, Tina, you are going to go fucking bananas just like I did. It's cringe. I got to warn you. Okay. I hope you don't have a weak.

Stomach today. It's like waiting for my Christmas present.

I can't wait. Okay, all right, so let's take our first break. We'll be back with that material. I'm not even going to prep it for you. I'm just going to say with that content. Okay, we'll be back.

Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job. Now go to tcbpodcast. Com for all of our audio and video content and get your little booty over to YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak for fully edited video episodes. Want to chat? Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb3. Too embarrassed for your voice to be on the show? We understand. Text us instead at 855 TCB 8383. Can't even do that? No worries. Just follow us on TikTok @TCB Podcast and on Instagram @thecommercialbreak. And if you can't even be doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show.

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Of the commercial break. All right. I know you've seen this trend because it's hard to ignore. You know, we've talked about the anus sunning.

Yeah, yes, the tank tanning.

In that same vein, there is this subset of human beings who are out there pitching the idea that drinking your own excremence with piss will somehow lead to better health. I don't understand it. I don't understand the science behind it. I'm blissfully unaware of what the science is.

I've never heard this, but I have heard old wives tales, when you cloth, diaper your child, wash your face with it, things like this to help after you've had your baby, clear your skin back up. I've never heard using one's own.

Taking a cloth diaper and wiping on your face? After your, yes. To help clear up your skin?

It's cringe. I can't even believe I said it out loud.

It's like eating the afterbirth and all these other crazy things that are going on. It's a lot, yeah. By the way, I'm not going to go down that road. Birth how you want to birth. Anyway, so there is, and especially I think this is targeted toward men, a certain subset of men, that these guys are telling them to drink their urine on a daily basis in order to make them healthier, digest better, give them lower cholesterol, all this other stuff.

I need more information.

I need way more information, or I need none information because I don't care how much information is given to me. There is no circumstance unless I'm in a desert or on a boat and dying. And even then. And even then, I'm probably going to go for seawater. Surely. Just to make sure the science is right on that before I go for bio urine.

The point of it is that's the stuff your body doesn't need, want in.

There anymore.

That's right.

Why put it back in? There's no.

Reason to.

No filtering. I don't understand. Just let it go. Yeah. I mean, we all took basic biology, right? Didn't we? Yeah, I think so. And if you're drinking your own urine, does then your body just push that back out? Wouldn't it? Yeah, wouldn't it just say, Oh, we already did this once.

Let's not- This is the stuff we didn't want in.

The first place. Pass go. Do not collect $200. Please take it back. Please right out. Is this like the never ending, the engine that never stops idea that you can just keep drinking your own urine and you're never going to go dehydrated?

Isn't it just going to be more when it comes back?

I got to imagine.

All.

Right. Oh, disgusting. So anyway, this is a thing. It's a trend. It's been going on for a couple of years. It seems like the pandemic brought out all the wokey-cooky stuff that we could be doing. I find this to be wokey-cooky, but maybe you don't. Let's take a look. Yeah, and if you are a pissed drinker, I would certainly like to know. I want to talk. That's right. If you like your peep in a beer glass, I want to have a conversation with you, feel free to.

Dial us up. Let's get a Bud.

Light now. Well, I've had more than my fair share of that. I'm telling you, that urine comes out clear and tasty. That's right. Because it is clear and taste. Tastes just like the Bud Light. Tastes just like the Bud Light. All right, I was trolling on the internet. As you do like to do. As I do like to do, I found World's Strangest Addiction, my favorite channel, TLC. They put, I think this is internet only because I haven't seen this one on television.

This show gives me a brain rush.

Oh, man, it's so good because every time it comes on, you know there's going to be some new- Oh, it's so good. -spectacular moron doing something crazy. All right, this is a couple that drinks their own piss as a lifestyle, as a thing, as a choice. Let's meet these two people and we'll get into it. You're ready?

Okay, I am.

So ready. Hold your lunch.

My name is nick.

Cheers. My name is Aubrey.

Why is it always nick? It's like nick.

Or Todd. Better than Chad. Yeah, Chad. And we are.

Addicted to drinking our urine.

Okay, let me explain this for those of you listening. This is an attractive couple here. They are. They're fit. These are young and attractive. He's got a 12-pack. She's a lovely-looking human being. What are you doing? Stop it.

You know you can get water.

Yeah, he's in the bathroom. You know there's a sink right there. Right there. There's probably potable water right at your fingertips. Also, I'm glad these two are dating because the only person that's going to date you with the piss smell on your breath is another piss-smelling person.

They found.

Their person. That's right. They found their spirit animal.

I have not drank water for years now.

Each day I'm consuming about a half gallon of fresh urine.

Oh, my God. What? A half a gallon?

The only thing you should be drinking that much of is water.

It smells like buttery popcorn.

Never.

In a million years.

No, it's not like- You're broken. Yeah, you're broken. Your nose is broken. You're the person who doesn't smell asparagas when you pee after you eat it. Yeah, you're that person.

A million years, but I think that I would have a son that would be drinking his own urine.

Right now, we're about to take a pee shower.

It almost feels like a drug.

nick. Oh, my God. Okay, wait. Oh, my God. I didn't expect this because I didn't watch it. I wanted to have a straight, direct reaction to this.

That's a whole thing unto itself.

When you drink your own urine in certain circumstances, like life-threatening circumstances, I can forgive you that you're drinking your own piss. Not forgive you, you don't need my permission. But I can understand. However, there is no circumstance because I know people haven't showered in months and months and months. They're at the lake. They're at the lake. There's a fucking lake right there. You could jump in the goddamn lake and they are sitting here pouring mason jars full of piss over themselves, taking a piss shower. It's sticky. You're in a sticky.

Why would you want to do that?

I got that little rat that runs around the house, her name is Blue, and she pees on pads. Every time I have to clean it up, I- The smell. -the smell. It drives me crazy. Nothing drives me more crazy than waking up in the morning. One of my kids has peed a couple of times in the toilet bowl, and then I've got to deal with that smell when I go into do my business.

You know how sticky that stuff is when it dries. You've seen it on toilet seats. You've changed diapers. You understand? Everybody knows. You don't want to pour that on yourself.

It literally ripped holes in my flooring.

Literally ripped holes in my flooring. There's a kink community totally into that.

Oh, yeah.

That's a different story. That's totally different than just hanging out at the lake with your mom and being like, I'm going to drink my.

Piss now. Like getting someone to pee on you because it's a.

Sexual thing? Hey, that's.

A whole thing. That's a whole thing. That is approved.

This is out in the.

Crowd, though.

This is just at the lake.

I dated this girl for one time, and she was a Gusher. But I'm pretty sure that some of it, at least, was just pee.

A little bit. A little bit. It could be.

But in the heat of the moment, whatever, cool.

Put a.

Tarp down, move along. Yeah, I remember one time the entire bed was just soaked. But in that moment, coitous moment, it was a turn on. You're just going for it. Yeah, you're just going for it. It was a turn on. The messier, the better.

I didn't care.

The mess here, the better. Yeah, absolutely. But then I quickly took a shower afterwards and.

Left.

Her there. You didn't.

Ring them out to try to grab a future.

I didn't ring it out to get hydrated. To get hydrated.

A little quinsher.

I'm dehydrated after that fat session. Let's get it on. Hey, on can you in this bucket?

I'm really thirsty. Do you mind standing over the jar.

Next time? No.

Come on. I got to wash down the burger with something.

Why.

Are you doing this? Of The.

Jersey Shore. I just.

Love how dad's in like he gave up.

Yeah, he's like, Why are you doing this, son? Why are you my kid? Of all the kids in the world I could have had, why you? Look at the Smiths next door. He's a lawyer. He's drinking water. Okay, it's liquid death, but at least he's drinking water. They're in the Jersey Shore, by the way. Wow, they live on the Jersey Shore.

Literally on it.

So they have money. They have water. They have water. They have means. It's not like they're living in the Sahara. Unbelievable.

Okay.

Let's do it.

I consider myself a natural lifestyle enthusiast. I eat natural things that come from nature. I sleep on the ground. I surf, jump off high things into water.

I don't use any makeup unless it's a very special occasion. And I am very minimal with the materials I wear in my body and.

What I consume. Well, I'm all about that. Take off the clothes, Aubrey. Let's just- Yeah, let's go for it. Let's go for it. Let's close the better. Hey, nick, I think you're crazy just for jumping off high things into water. That in and of itself is about as crazy as it gets for Ryan. But then drinking your own piss.

How do you think it came up? Was she like, Hey, honey, I've got an idea, or, Babe, I read something somewhere.

Yes, this is what happens. These two are listening to podcasts.

Oh, oh-oh.

That's what's happening, is because podcasts are where all the bad ideas come from. I'm sure of it. Having been in this industry for a hot minute, I'm sure that all the bad ideas originate with some white guy telling some other white guy about a bad idea that he had. I got an idea. Yeah, I got an idea. And then he did some research on Wikipedia.

And we are addicted to drinking our urine.

Our face. The clause says, Oh, my God. They're showing a mason jar of urine, and it says, And it's frothy, by the way. It's frothy. I'm just going to describe it in all its glory. It's frothy. It's got bubbles. It says, nick and Aubrey, who are in their 20s, by the way, both drink 200 gallons of urine each a year. Year. Yeah, he brought this idea to the table. It had to have been him. It had to have been him. Oh, God.

He's.

Peeing into the mason jar.

On an average day, I probably drink between a half gallon and a gallon, so maybe three-quarters of pee a day.

He seems so happy about it.

I get to just hearing them swallow is.

Making me want to throw up. I know. In the piss sound with it, because you know he's going into a mason jar. If you're going to do this, do you really want to go on TLC and show everybody that.

You're doing this? What else are you drinking? I want to know what else.

Guaranteed these two are doing fentanyl laced cocaine on Saturday nights at the Jersey Shore. They care about what they're putting.

Into their body. They're just getting re-high, I guess. That's right.

That's a good idea. Hey, now there's a reason to drink your own urine. It's already laced. That's right. Keep on going.

Each jam, consuming about a half gallon of fresh urine.

Fresh. Fresh, as opposed to the - The kind you store. The kind you put in the refrigerator for tomorrow?

I no longer drink water, and I have not drank water.

Are his lips blue? His lips look blue to me. They do. Yeah. Okay, he's sick. He's dying.

He's drinking uric acid to the tune of 200 gallons a year.

This cannot be good for you.

Your body gets rid of it.

For a reason. For a reason. It's the waste product. It's the byproduct. It's the waste. It's the byproduct.

Excrament. That's right. You should keep it that way. Keep it as waste. Let it go down the peep toilet.

At least give your body some water.

Once in a while. Yeah. Hey, listen, you want to piss off the back of the dock?

Piss off high things.

Piss off high things.

Don't piss in your mouth.

Piss while you're jumping off of high things. Sure. Do whatever combination makes you feel comfortable. Please don't drink your own urine. Your lips are blue.

For years now, you really do feel more nourished drinking your urine than you do drinking water.

Oh, my God.

Well, it's delicious.

It's not delicious.

It tastes pretty sweet.

I don't trust.

Anything you say. No, I don't trust anything these two say. They're all lying. They're lying to us. They're trying to convince us this is okay. They're lying.

To themselves, for sure.

Oh, yeah. For-sure. -of course. What conversation is going on in bed.

At night? Where did she find natural nail polish?

Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, that's true. Well, she did say on special occasions. I guess when TLC shows up, that's probably considered the- When TLC shows up.

To film you drinking your own.

Piss- Then you put on makeup. -and your nails. Yeah, that's right.

All right.

It smells like buttery popcorn, but not super pungent.

I feel like I dated this girl in some version of myself.

I feel like if her P smells like buttery popcorn, that's probably.

All she's eating. Yeah, it's buttery popcorn and P. That smells like buttery popcorn.

Her.

Breath. Oh, God, her breath. Oh, God, her breath.

Feel radiant, vibrant, vital.

And- All.

The Vs. -that's because you're 20.

Yeah, vibrant, radiant. Yeah, it's because you're 29, that's right.

You feel vibrant. It's not.

The V, honey. Check in at 33. You're going to be eating McDonalds for watching The Bachelor.

With a stomach ulcer from Uric acid.

With a stomach ulcer, you will not... This guy will no longer be in your life, and you'll be looking for your next boyfriend who doesn't drink P.

I'm in love with myself and life through this practice.

The.

Main benefits that I would describe for drinking your urine are hydration. Number two that I noticed was severely improved digestion. The third one is retaining nutrients.

Most of the nutrients- How do you feel like you're.

Retaining nutrients? And how do you even.

Measure that? Yeah, noticeably improved digestion.

I get more out of my vitamins now.

I like what? Yeah, that just reminds me of those commercials they have on with the vitamins or the 82-year-old guys playing golf. I used to be, I settled down after the seventh hole. Now I'm ready to go another 18.

Thanks to my new genics.

Yeah, I never go without my uric acid pills.

It's like, dude. -unbelievable.

Experience from the food that you eat are coming out in your urine, and they're not actually going into.

Your body. He's spilling it all over himself.

I use it for my skincare routines. If I have a scrape, a cut, any opened, exposed wound, I'll always use urine topically.

For that. She's putting it, those you were listening, she's putting it all over her face and her body as if it was a moisturizer.

What do you think her sweat smells like?

I can't imagine what she smells like in general. She's got to smell like a toilet bowl, right?

They don't have friends.

No. But if they have any friends, they're not going to have any friends now.

She smells like a dirty.

Toilet bowl. That's right. She smells like the inside of a men's bathroom at a Braves game.

I use it in my hair. I use it as eardrop sometimes. I use it as eye drop sometimes.

Oh, you are fucking insane. You have to stop. You have got to stop, dude. You use it for eye drops? They're actually showing him putting urine in his eyes. How could that acidic liquid be good for your eyes? That's why your fucking lips are.

Blue, dude. Why are you putting in your eyes, though? What's wrong with your eyes? What do you mean?

Nothing gets my day going like pee, pee, pooh, pooh. Yes, pee, pee, pooh, pooh. I drop it in my eyes. In my face. I put it up my nose. Yes. I cumpee now.

That's got to be.

What's happening. Yeah, I gizpee.

I'm disturbed.

I want to sperm count on this guy immediately because it's got to be killing something.

I swish it around my mouth like mouthwash.

Oh.

My.

God. This definitely has not been on the regular actual cable channel TLC. There's no way. It's barely on the.

Commercial break. Streaming only. Streaming only. No pun intended.

No pun intended.

All right, here we go. I spent a couple of years not living here with my family. I did a lot of traveling. I lived in the Dominican Republic for a year. I lived in Hawaii for a little bit, Nicaragua a little bit, and now I'm home for the summer this year.

You basically spent your white, rich life traveling around to- The Caribbean. -poor countries where you could live for free. Got it, 10-4. Now you're back with mom and dad at the- At the nice house, yeah. No, knock on that. No, knock on that. Go back to dad, mom and dad. I would if I could. But at the end of the day, this pee drinking thing, if I'm your dad, I'm like, Dude, you cannot drink pee in this house. Not in my house. Not in my house. You go live somewhere else, you're.

Feel free to drink P. You put P in something that is meant to deliver fluids.

But they're putting it all over their face.

Then sitting on the sofa.

Then sitting on couches and eating dinner and touching utensils. You guys have to move. You guys got to move out. Not down here to Atlanta. We got enough shit going on down here. We don't need you.

Right now, we're about to take a pee shower. We're going to pour our P on our hair, on our skin, rub it in so we could be out in the sun, get more tan, stay more hydrated with our skin, and just enjoy ourselves in the heat.

Why do I feel like this guy is- His sister is just.

Like creeping. My sister. I get my weird brother.

Well, she's got no competition with her hot sister. The two hot girls, only one of them has paid attention to. Number one, I feel like this guy is voting for RFK. What do you think?

Probably.

Oh, it's disgusting.

I.

Think pouring it in his hair, it's dumping it on you. I think.

That that's gross. The part about drinking it wasn't gross. Right. It's the part that pouring on it.

You're upset about him.

Bathing in it? Yeah, come on. I wear shorts in the summer. Come on, Vicky. I can feel all over my sandals. Yeah.

Whenever I have urine on my skin and I'm in the sun, it feels electric. I feel euphoria. I just feel so much more connected to my body and the earth, and just my whole body is buzzing.

I think you have lost the.

Fucking plot. I think these two need some counseling.

Yeah, I think you've lost the fucking plot. I think you're high already on something altogether different, and you're just connecting these two dots for television.

This isn't self-love. This isn't what they meant.

This isn't what they meant. No, self-love is locking the door and pretending you're going to the bathroom while you masterdate like the rest of us. Exactly. Come on, get it together.

It almost feels like a drug.

This feels amazing. It's refreshing, and it.

Just feels- It is like a drug. You're addicted. It's terrible for you, and you've got to stop it.

It's exactly what you hit the nail right on the.

Head, lady. You got it.

Really good on my skin.

Oh, come on, nick. Drinking urine is not the most.

Accepted.

Thing out there.

No pe in the pool. Yeah, I don't. What you can't see is they're standing out on a dock in the Jersey Shore that's connected to their home, and they are taking the shower on the dock, which if I'm the dad, I'm like, don't pee on my fucking dock. But then there's a pool near closer to the home, and the mom and the sister are in the pool. She knows no peeing in the pool. They need that chemical that turns the water purple.

Well, every time they put their foot in it.

Oh, yeah. That's why I'd have that chemical because I'd know if my kid was in the pool.

It's a little embarrassing as his parents. When people find out, Oh, your kid drinks urine. It's different.

What's wrong.

With him? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, man. We have two other kids. We have.

All these friends.

We have this life. One of the bad things is that there's this whole different.

Thing going on here. There's this smell of stent.

Urine.

Everywhere in my house.

Did you notice he said, We have these other kids, they have friends?

He's.

Calling out his son. He's saying, You don't have any friends, and there's a reason why. It's because you're drinking your own piss. All right, speaking of piss, I got to take a fee break here. We'll get to some commercials, and we'll be right back. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just going to go throw up in the bathroom and call it a day. All right, we'll be back.

Okay, Brian, let me give the people what they want. Our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram, @thecommercialbreak, and on TikTok @tcbpodcast. If, like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more, give us a call and leave us a message at (626) asktcb3, or send us a text, No sexting, please, @855 tcb8383. And, of course, go to tcbpodcast. Com to see everything there is to see. Now let's hear from our sponsors and then the show must go on.

Oh, my God. We're back and we're reviewing one of the more disturbing videos we've done here on the commercial break. That's saying a lot.

Yeah, thanks for.

Saving it for me. Yeah, no problem. I don't think, Krissy, would be able to handle this, honestly. There are some episodes that we have half in the can, like half episodes in the can, because Krissy has said, No, I'm not doing this. It's just too much for me. But you're making it through. Okay. I knew I picked the right person to say that to you. Here we go. We're back to the pee drinking couple, and they're in the middle of their pee shower out by their beautiful New Jersey Shore house.

It's difficult.

It's embarrassing. I'm living.

My life. That's his dad talking, by the way. Before the break, he said, I have this life. We've got our kids that live here. The two other children have friends. But the peer drinkers, they don't have so many friends.

They can think whatever they want about it. It's really none of my business what people think about me. So if you think I'm crazy, keep it to yourself.

Oh. It says, nick tried urine on vacation during a medical emergency, being out of money and spending all your cash on beer.

Probably a Dominican Republic. Yeah, that's right.

I.

Was in a Ruba. My hands clenched up really hard. You could commonly, I guess, refer to this as a panic attack. I was breathing too fast. I lost control of my breathing and I didn't know.

What to do. Dude, they're showing a picture of him from the Dominican Republic. He looks like that guy, Into the Wild. Oh, yeah. You remember that guy? I do. But the real guy. The real guy. Like the real guy who actually died. Not the hot actor. Not the hot actor, that's right. Or Eddie Better who sing all the songs. Although he does look Eddie Better there.

I gave a call to a friend of mine who I trusted to potentially have a solution. The solution that he presented to me was to drink my urine. I was skeptical. I asked him three or four times, and he continued to just repeat himself like, You got to do it, bro. Just drink your pea. You got to do it, bro.

So this bad idea came from another one of your idiot friends. Was he a medical professional? Probably his only idiot professional. Was he a medical professional? Yeah. Hey, Jim, I'm down here in the Dominican Republic, and I'm totally freaking out. My hands are all closed. I think you would traditionally call it a panic attack. No, bro, you got the wrong idea. You know what it is? You have a lack of pee in your pee sack. You got to drink more pee. Fill up your pee sack. You'll be fine. Did you say pee? Piss in your own mouth. Are you sure? Piss in your own mouth. Takes care of all problems. Swore to God, it does. Heard it from RFK myself. Oh, God.

I tried it. I peed in a jar.

Took a picture of it for Instagram. Of course. Yeah, because he's got a.

Picture of him. Why is.

It milky? Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah, why is it milky? The cortisol from the stress? I don't know. Who knows?

As soon as I took one sip and touched it to my tongue, my hands were releasing, and I felt like my nervous system let go of my hands.

I call bullshit.

I call bullshit. There was something else happening.

My friend. Yeah, maybe it was all the cocaine you were doing down in Aruba. Yeah. Because they do have good cocaine down there, or so I've heard.

You ate, you looked a.

Frog, maybe? Yeah. And this seems like the guy who was down there looking for some adventure that went wrong, and then drinking pee was the answer from one of his friends. Panic attack became the story he could tell around the dinner table, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's the one we're going to go with. Not tripping my balls off.

I was astonished. I was definitely hooked. I was infatuated and fascinated by it in every way possible.

I first found nick on social media before we became friends. I slid into Nick's DMs and invited him to come stay with me and just hit it off.

It's so weird.

I know, and she's like.

Really cute girl. She's a very attractive young lady. And then she slid into his DMs and invited him to come live.

Was it the P picture? Yeah. With a frothy peep? She was like, Hey, who.

Are you? Hey. What are you drinking? Piss. Sounds great. Want to come live with me? In the beach? Yeah. Yeah, I live with me on the beach.

I was drinking urine for about five months before I met him. When we first met, we actually didn't even eat food. It was so natural to not eat and just drink pea.

You guys are on some cosmic mind-bending trip here. She's like the Gwyneth Paltrow of Jersey Shore. I wonder if she has vagina candles hanging around her house. She does. She does, yeah. It says, not only do nick and Aubrey drink their own urine, but they have tried each other's urine too? No. No, no, no. That's too far. Rule number one in a relationship, don't drink the other person's urine. Just keep to yourself. Have sex with him. Is that enough fluid swapping? I mean, do we have to go down the fee road? I mean, are we swapping enough chemicals as it is? Seriously. You slid into some dude's DMs and now you're drinking his pee?

Is this? No.

You're.

Too- Where's your mom?

-young for this. Yeah, where is your father figure in this? Seriously, where's mom? Where's dad? A sister? A brother? A good friend?

I drank Nick's urine after two days of meeting him. We were driving back from the Redwoods, and he brought a jar with him and had to pee, and we didn't pull over. He just peed in the car. And then I looked over right when he was and he looked at me. It was like, Huh? Kind of like, You want to? I was.

Like, Sure. Oh, my God.

Hard no.

Tina. I just took a hot crap right here in the room and I started eating it. Then I was like, You're on some? Hungry?

First of all, I'm alerting the family. Yeah, totally.

Something's broken. Brian needs help. That commercial break studio has done something.

To him. We're staging an intervention.

Steve-o made him crazy. Oh, Lord. I did.

I would say that Nick's urine could be considered the crème de la crème of urine. Mine and Nick's.

Relationship-.

You have a- How much urine have you tried, Aubrey?

I got to imagine they just.

Like- She said it's the crème de la crème.

Oh, yeah. Who else is urine are you drinking? Are you drinking? Where's the database of.

Experience then? Yeah.

Number one. Number two.

This.

Is a co-dependent relationship right here. This is how twisted and sick co-dependency can get is right here. It takes one to know one. I've been in a few of those relationships, but I never, ever, once thought about drinking anybody's pee.

Not.

On purpose. No. Someone peeing on my bed was about as far as I took it.

To ship now is, I would say we're best friends, and he is a mentor for me and teacher in a lot of lifestyle and health related things.

-all you're doing is- Does he.

Have a medical degree? -okay, so they're not even in a relationship yet. He doesn't have a medical degree. What are you talking about? No, people with medical degrees don't spend four years traveling South America having panic attacks. That's just not what happens. Then drinking urine to get over it. Drinking urine to get over it. Not even their own urine, but somebody else's urine. He looks good, though. I will say that. He does look very much in shape. You got any pee? You have to go to the bathroom?

Do you think that's a requirement to date either one of them? Like, first question on first date, dating a.

Pee drinker? I think this is a classic example of someone who gets involved in a relationship, and they start looking to that person. This is codependency, right? Yeah, a hundred %. They look at that person, they love bomb that person, they get way too involved in that person's comings and goings. They see them as a deity instead of as a human who I want to have a relationship with. And she just called them best friends. But do they actually are they boyfriend, girlfriend?

Or best friends? Or maybe they're asexual. It would.

Be a damn shame if these two were asexual.

No, because they smell like pees. That's true.

It'd be a damn shame if they took a shower and then still were asexual. That's right. And clean that mouth out. Go to the dentist, please.

Please. Exhaling all the air out, holding as long as you can, and then we let out with the sound ow. Okay.

This guy is teaching her basically Yoga 101, Yoga Breat 101, and she's already convinced she should be drinking his urine. She has gone off the deep end. He has taken her off the deep end, literally, with those high dives. Okay, they're doing yoga on a deck right now.

That they just.

Peed on?

Yeah.

Even the ducks are scared. They're like, We're going to get out of here. They're going to jump in the water with all their PE infested skin. I hate to tell you that is not an oom, but let's keep going.

All right, now let's do something to take it to the.

Next level. All right.

Not only do we drink our urine, we also snort it.

I'm.

Speechless. This is insanity. But I have seen this in another video that I was convinced it was a joke, and now I'm convinced it wasn't.

This is- They're going to do it.

They're going to snort it. They're going to snort it. But I got to give them a break on this one because I've snorted a lot of things that I probably should have put on my.

Your own exclement?

No.

Don't make.

The list. No, but I don't know that someone along the way hadn't cut it with their own excament. You know what I'm saying? Okay, that's fair. Friday night, 2:30 in the morning, you just need to sober up a little bit. It's too late to care. Yeah, too late to care. All right.

You remember what I told you a while ago about it?

Yeah, to get in the position where I can.

Actually… Yeah, but you got to do your breath with it, too. Urine snorting is when you literally snort your urine. You're breathing in, essentially, your urine up into your sinuses and then swallowing it down so that we can breathe more effectively.

Yeah, I understand what snorting is. Dude, you are a fucking looney tune, bro. Don't snort your own urine. Clearly.

I don't even know. Is he just like, What else can I.

Get her to do? Yeah, I think he… Yeah. He's starting his own cult right there in the Jersey Shore in his dad's pool.

Sniff and then swallow and then sniff, and then swallow and repeat. Aubrey has struggled with nose drinking in her experience.

That's not nose drinking. You're not supposed to do that. You dumbdumb. They're not supposed to be liquid in your nose.

What's better than urine is snot in urine.

Yeah, what's better than urine than COVID and urine.

Oh, my. What's happening? What's disgusting.

A thousand bucks this guy wants multiple wives. A thousand bucks. He'll have it. Oh, yeah. They'll all be drinking and snoring. I'll be sure to recruit him. Don't worry. Yeah, she's all in.

The goal today is to help her make improvements and get a little better at drinking through her nose. All right, so.

I'll show.

You first. Okay.

Oh, no. They're going to show this on camera. Cheers. Youtube. Com slash the commercial break for the uplifting videos of the day. Oh. This is like... Oh. I sure hope this is prop water.

I have to tell myself this isn't really happening. Yeah, I.

Have to tell myself that TLC has pulled ashut. I'm like, I'm just going to throw the last one on us, and this is just a joke because this is insane.

It's going super fast.

No.

It's like when you take the Brandy Snifter. You get the smell of it, and then you drink it. Yeah. Except they're just drinking it into their nose. Right into their nose.

Do you know what snuff is? I do. You know what snuff is? Snuff, you snort it up your nose. It's tobacco you snort up your nose.

Also gross.

Yeah. I saw some people in Europe doing it. This should be illegal. I saw some people in Europe doing it. This should be way illegal. He snorted it, then he spit it out. He spit it.

Don't hurt us, Wallow. But notice.

He spit it. Even he knew he took it too far.

Snort urine just about every day. When your sinuses are clogged and it's really difficult to breathe, not trying to- When you throw your pee, it's like the cheat code. It's like a key that opens it up and lets everything just come right out.

Okay, he clearly is this bullshit yoga practice, because if you actually did breath work and yoga, then you'd understand that naturally your body has a sinus rhythm, and your nostrils's clear up and they move back and forth. So you're not supposed to, most of the time, actually be able to breathe fully clearly through your sinuses. They inflate and deflates. It's doing a job. It's doing a job. It's doing a job. It's doing a thing. It's got its own thing. But he's helping it along by clearing it up with his own fucking piss. It's gross.

So gross.

You'd be surprised how much gunk comes.

Out of your nose.

No, we're not. No, I'm not surprised. No, we're not. No, because you're sniffing at it.

It's doing its job.

True. Yeah, there you go. Hold on.

The seeing her throat balance just makes my.

Stomach torture. You could tell she's gagging. She just hates it.

She hates it.

Her eyes are about to water. Listen, there's other guys like nick out there. You can find another idiot with a six pack.

And a nice beard. There's a lot of men that would probably not even say anything about you drinking your own urine because she's-.

Hundred %. I got two brothers, probably.

Fine.

Whatever. I might be a little old for her, but whatever.

Yeah, I'm.

Getting the drainage.

Yeah, you're getting the drainage because you just put acid up your nose.

People tell me they can't get past the mental aspect of snorting it. I say, Stay stuffy.

Oh, my God, Tina. Okay. Just stay stuffy. That stay stuffy. Stay stuffy, America.

Stay stuffy. That's another T-shirt.

Oh, my God. That is the wildest thing. I think that's one of the wildest things we've ever done here on the commercial break. Without a doubt. I would have to agree. Yeah. Sorry, Christina, for making you head at this episode.

I'm sorry you have to listen to them swallowing.

Their own urine. I'm sorry you just have to listen to us. Then on top of that, you got to listen to swallowing and snorting your own urine. Oh, my gosh. Well, I got to take a break.

Because I got to go pee. Yeah, thank you for that. That's something.

New every day, right? You learn something new every day. Actually, I knew that people were drinking their piss. I knew this was a thing. I didn't realize just how intense it was. We got to follow up on these, too, a couple of years later. I got to find a social media account.

They're clearly- nick is on something.

He's on something, and so is she. She's the Gwenneth Paltrow of the Drew Barrymore of New Jersey.

I'm going to slide into her DMs and show her other people she could be dating- Yeah. -like, here, try this guy.

He's single. Yeah, you should. Honestly. I'm just here to help. This is just a couple of months old. She's either not with him anymore and looking for the next person she can idolize, or she's with him and she desperately needs help. Yeah. It's like a hostage rescue, basically.

If that's my son, I'm calling authorities.

A 911. Professionals. I don't know any cop in their right mind that wouldn't take one of these two away. All right, tcbpodcast. Com. That's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. Don't go anywhere else. Tcbpodcast. Com. You can also dial us up 1-6-6. Ask TCB the number three. That's 6-6. Ask TCB the number three. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. Ask Bryan's mom. We'll have my mom back on in a couple of weeks. What else was I going to say? Oh, ask TCB. The TCB audio scavenger hunt, still on, unless I let you know otherwise, it's still on. So December fifth, we'll let you know exactly what to do and how to do it. I'd also like to let you know that you can join our Instagram. It's a ton of fun. At the commercial break, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Subscribe, like, comment on your favorite video. We certainly would appreciate it. Keep sending your good energy, Krissy's way. She will be back. And we're all thinking about her and her family right now during this extremely difficult time for them.

I think that's clearly all we can do today.

I think that's more.

Than enough. All right. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Tina and I always say, we do say, and we must say, good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye. I'm going to come tell her to see this road.