Is an absolute honor to be here today in full fucking clam at 8:00 AM on a Thursday morning.

On.

This episode of the commercial break. Show it to me, Pornhub. Show it to me now.

That's how the kids are going to be doing it. They're going to be like, Hey, Siri, Grande, area to Grande. The biggest kids you've ever seen. Show it to me.

Sorry, I'm not able to make.

A phone call at this time, but you can't.

Ask me to place a FaceTime call.

The next episode of The commercial break starts now. I get ass. Oh, yeah, guys and kids. Welcome back to The commercial break. I'm Brian Crain. This is the audio editor of Ass, Christina.

Suck.

It. Best to you, Christina. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Christina joining us while Christy takes a couple extra days off to be with family. We wish her all the best. Yeah. And her family, too. Okay. I want to tell you a couple of things sex-related, because why not? Saucy. Because why not? Because you're legally obligated to allow me to talk about sex per.

Our contract.

You're damn right. No HR in this department. No HR in this department. We're lucky to have her.

So.

A couple of months ago, I was talking... A couple of months ago, a month ago, I talked to, I can't remember now because everyone's rotating through the seat for the last couple of months, but I was talking to somebody, I think might have been Tina, about the Hot Tub streamers on Twitch.

Then I got sucked into a rabbit hole, this girl that I follow on Instagram.

Doing research.

For the show. Yes, I got sucked in a rabbit hole, not sucked into a rabbit hole. I got sucked into this rabbit hole. These four women that were in a Hot Tub, they had the camera set up, they were streaming live, and people were making requests of them that I didn't understand to be English, or even shorthand. Had it been ATM, then I would have known, ask them out. Or like you said, F-I-P, or like you said, F-I-B, finger in the butt. Finger in the butt. I would have understood that stuff, not because I'm a perv, but because this is what I do for a living. Also because you're a perv. Yes, I'm hiding behind the commercial break as a pervert.

That is the dream job.

Yeah, listen, somebody comes in on this history. If someone looks at the history of that computer, I'm going to jail, basically.

I'm going to jail. God, I hope not. I'll be.

Out of a job. No, I'm not that. I don't get that. You just sit in the seat. Don't worry about it. Keep it going. Someone's going to need to send Papa some jail cash. I'm going to need to buy those cup of noodles to pay off the guys from putting their finger in my butt.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. You'd be ripe for the picking.

Oh, I'm a cutie.

I know. Listen, I've been to jail. Your balls are so fragile.

My balls right now are fragile. So fragile. They're like too little, like broken eggs. I read this story that Twitch is now having to loosen up their rules around nudity because so many creators are complaining that they're getting banned for what they call non-sexual nudity. I think this really centers around hot tub streamers is what they call them, or what they're being referred to as hot tub streamers. Because apparently, and now I know, there are a lot of women and some men who film themselves in the hot tub, and then they skirt the lines of what Twitch would consider decent behavior. Do you understand what I'm saying? Right. Now Twitch is saying, if it's artistic nudity, if you're making art, as long as it's not sexual, which I have no idea where that line begins or ends.

Yeah, how do you even define that? But I guess that's the point is they can't.

Define that. They can't define that. That's right. And so they're-.

You know what? Good for them.

Twitch is making a loophole that everyone's going to jump through now. But apparently, this is a very popular thing. And there is a young lady, and I don't remember her name, and I don't want to throw it out there anyway, but there's a young lady on Twitch that is making millions of dollars a year being a Hot Tub streamer. Good for her. So I am thinking that eventually, when this podcast comes to some end, I'm going to be a Hot Tub streamer. Yeah. Or I'm going to hire someone.

I'm going to be a Hot Tub streamer.

Why don't you Hot Tub stream and then give some revenue to the commercial break? You can use the commercial break's name.

I'll be like Blaire Saki. I'll be like, no-hole-feet-only.

Id love that story. I'd love that story.

I'll.

Get toes-only.

Toes-only?

Toes-only and no-hole. What if I just say butt-only? Just cheeks-only. Yeah, and I just bend over and the camera and I never show my face. I could put one of those.

But then no one's going to want to send you money, give you tips. You're doing too much butt, not enough action.

Well.

How do we know? You have to show the toes every so often, too. I'm just one of these- This is why you never made it on Featfinder.

I never even.

Tried to make it on Featfinder. You don't know how to monetize your feet.

Well, no one wants my hairy feet on there. Actually, I don't have hairy feet because I hate hairy feet.

I think I made a Feat Finder account once. Did you? Did you make any money? I think I made the account, but I never did anything.

Do you know what got me to start that Feat.

Finder account? I made it when I was drunk on a boat.

Drunk on a boat? Yeah, I was drunk on a boat.

And we were all like, Yeah, I should do a Feat Finder. And then I made the account, and then I never followed up on it. I got scared.

What?

Really? But now that I'm hired by the commercial break, you know?

Yeah, what's the difference? People are going to know you're attached to this for the rest of your life.

You're just keeping on.

God, that's sad for me. You can put a fake name on.

The feed finder? Yeah, but someone can find your IP address.

I mean, they can. But is a future employer really going to go through all that trouble to dox your IP address in order to find out if you've ever been on Feetfinder?

I mean, that would be fucked up. If someone didn't hire you, but they would never tell you, this is the trouble, is like, someone could definitely not hire you because you were on Feet Finder or whatever it is that you were doing. But then they don't have to tell you why. They can come up with some other arbitrary reason, and then you won't know that your privacy is being violated.

Or whatever. Yeah, or you just have a really creepy future employer that maybe you don't want to be with anymore. Here's the thing. I think that employers are going to have to get over this. I agree. Hr departments are going to have to get over this because there is an entire generation, multiple generations. The world is different. The world is different. There are hot tub streamers out there that may be future Supreme Court justices. We do not know. That is a.

World I want to live in.

Amen. Dude, get those stodgy old fuck nuts off that fucking bench, and let's get some fresh blood in there. Hot tub streamers is a good place to start. Yes, I'm with it. Seriously.

Let's get the hot tub streamers in Congress.

If some of these assholes, if George fucking Santos can be a goddamn member of Congress, then you can be on Feed Finder and find future employment. That's a good point. It is an absolute, and tell them that when the HR department calls to check on your IP address for.

Your feed finder. I work in podcasting.

Yeah, I work in podcasting. I also smash bananas to make old men's wool. I love that for me. Give them half hearts.

I would smush bananas with my toes. Why not? What's the big deal? That sounds not fun.

That's what everybody's into.

Is that what people are into? Smashing bananas.

With your toes? Smashing is a thing. I think what they want is they want you to smash their penis with your toes, but a banana is a good thing. I know. I've seen it. I have seen videos.

In research. A flap of- What is this?

Christina, there are people who get kicked in the nuts and they pay women to do it in high heels. Pay me to do it? This is a thing. Actually, one.

Time I had a lover text me, Let me buy you a pair of boots. You can step on me with them.

You're fucking kidding me. No, I'm not. Did you do it?

Well, we didn't end up working out. We lived in different states. He did fly me across the country, so that was fun.

If he flew you across the country, I'd get the boots just so you can kick him in the balls because I had.

Some fun. I actually would have loved to do that. I think we got distracted. We had a packed itinerary.

Oh, and smashing him in the balls with your brand new boots?

Didn't make it. You didn't make it on.

The itinerary. Obviously, it wasn't high on his priority list, or he would have made.

It a thing. I think there were other things happening that were better.

I had a Dominatrix tell me once that getting your balls smashed is like the... She said it was in her top 10 requests. I didn't feel like that makes sense. Getting stepped on, getting directly kicked in the nuts, flaccid penis that then would become hard, weird shit. I know that our sexual proclivities are probably, from what I've read, are probably formed very young in our formative ages. But who's getting kicked in the nuts and deciding they like that? I'm going to tell you right now, had a vasectomy, I feel like I've been getting kicked in the nuts for seven fucking straight days, and I wish it would just stop. It's like a toothache. It never fucking stopped.

But what if it was Astrid?

Kicking me in the nuts? Yeah.

Every day when you wake up-.

Just giving me one big kick.

In the nuts? -one big kick. Then you're like, Thank you for being in my life, Astrid.

Thank you, Astrid. May I have another? I love you so much. Thank you, May I have another.

Thank you, May I have another. Thank you, Mother of my children.

Creator of worlds. Creator of worlds. Give me that good good. I need that good good. Kick me in the balls again. But kick me in the nuts first, so I know I don't deserve it.

Treat me like.

The weak piece of shit I am.

I think this could work for you.

You guys should try that. There's a weird dynamic going on, for sure. Report back. Yeah, definitely not going to report back. That's what I'm saying. Kill me. Kill me. But I'm wondering which dude got kicked in the nuts and decided that that was a pleasurable experience. It's an awful fucking feeling.

Cain and pleasure are very.

Closely entangled. I agree. But just like it is, I imagine, for women, it's a very sensitive area. You go kicking it, it doesn't feel good. Like biting on the neck, like nibbling around the ears, even slap once in a while. I get it. I get it. Asher slaps me all the time. It's usually not having to do with sex, but she slaps me all the time. My kids punch me in the balls all the time and hit me and kick me. Listen, I get that pleasure and pain. There's like a super fine line. It's in the ethos, right? It's like you're breaking the veil sometimes. However, that said, there's nothing in my mind pleasurable about getting kicked in the ball. But there are so many people that are into that, apparently, that it's a thing. I just watched a video on Instagram. A couple of weeks ago, dude paid two dancers coming out of the strip club, two dancers, high heels, full nine yard.

He.

Was standing outside the club. He had been in there, and he's got $100 bills. He says, $300, kick me in the nuts right now. The chick's like, No, not doing it. Uh-uh, Nope. He's like, I'll say to the camera, it's okay. She's like, I don't want to get in some fucking trouble. I don't know what game you're running. He's like, $500, kick me in the nuts right now. Oh, my God. Then she's like, Stay in the camera, you're not going to sue me for something. Send me, arrest me. And he's like, $700, kick me in the nuts right now. I'll say it to the camera. He gave her this chick $700, and she took a running start. He was in front of his car, and she.

Just was.

Like, with her high heels. And the dude fell to the ground and he was, I love it. I love it so much. He loved it so much that the girl that came out with her was like, give me $300. I'll kick you in the nuts. And he gave her $500 and he got another kick in the nuts. And I'm like, holy fucking shit, this is a thing? I could kick people in the nuts.

For $500? Yeah, I want to do that. I want that to be my new career path.

Listen, it's all happening on Instagram and TikTok. I'm telling you what, there's a weird world out there. Get into it. Okay. And you'll make some extra cash. I'm sorry I'm not into that, but I would pay you. Speaking of weird trends, I have the 2023 Pornhub searches. Hello. Everybody waits for this. It's like mainstream now. They do this on AM radio in the morning. Oh, do they? Yeah, they do. Okay, all right. I don't listen to radio. I guess because Pornhub is such a big part of our lives. Pornhub is YouTube. I don't listen to radio either. I just was reading this that they were announcing this on Made 3.

That's pretty crazy.

Pornhub is YouTube for sex. In so many ways, Pornhub has changed the sexual landscape of our lives. Lives in good ways and bad ways. But like everything, in good ways and in bad ways. You ready for this? Yes. Okay, now, there's a long report. I don't want to get into every single thing, but let's go over a couple of important topics, I think. The number one trend that defined 2023 is the Golden Age. As the word mature searches grew by 77 % and became the second most popular category among men, led by mature Cougar, quote-unquote, granny, grandmas. Incredible. Dude, what in the fuck is going on out there in society? I want to hide my children. I want to hide my wife. Something's going on.

Wait, that's awesome.

I don't know.

Why not? Why shouldn't the old ladies be getting some action?

I'm not saying the old ladies or the old men shouldn't be getting some action, but are the young dudes looking at old granny people?

What's wrong with wanting a mature woman?

Hold on. I want to make the distinction between wrong and twisted.

There's wrong- I don't think it's twisted. Well, come on. I guess maybe it's a little mommy issue. Maybe that's really the trouble here, is that it's giving mommy issues.

That's the thing that I'm thinking. It's like mommy issues, but not even mommy issues, like old mommy, like grandma issues. Like, grandma issues are the issue of the grandma.

What was the search term?

Mature Cougar.

Okay, see, that doesn't to me.

Scream grandma. Well, milk is the second most search term worldwide.

While Dylf.

Terms, including muscle Dylf.

Muscledylf. Muscle dilt.

Muscle dilt. A hot dad, you'd like to fuck, grew by 71 %. Granny.

That's a big growth.

Searches and gulf searches collectively raised by 116and 68 % with sexy granny and hot gylf following right behind.

Hilarious. Hilarious?

Hilarious.

Are you a little- Sexy granny.

Sexy granny.

Well, I'm just like, why?

That's what I.

Want to know. Not that granny are not sexy. Obviously, granny can be sexy. Of course. Actually, I met this woman today at the doctor's office who told me she had a daughter my age and that her daughter had three children.

So she has a granny three times over.

Yeah, and she has kids with other children, too. So she's a grandma, probably five times over. Okay. And I was like, What the fuck? I said, Whatever you have, I want it. And she said, Yeah, that's the thing, honestly. I don't know. And I was like, It's just good jeans. I was like, You're stunning. They're- I would have guessed 35.

Listen, anybody can look good at any age.

Well, yeah. But I was just shocked.

I get shocked sometimes, too.

I was like, You're.

A grandma. I know. Esther and I were... I forget where we were. We were watching something, and the lady that was on the TV said she was like 67 years old or something, and she was stunning. Stunning. It's beautiful, right? Great skin, looked good, fantastic. And she had a lovely personality from what I remember of... I think we were watching something from what I remember. I don't think it's wrong that you look at granny porn. I'm just wondering what's going.

On out there. Yeah, why has.

It increased so much? Why has it increased so much? Are we passing around granny porn now as a joke or is it really we're getting off on it? Probably a little bit of both. I think so. I think we pass it around as a joke because we're getting off on it. We want our friends to think.

Is there a deep problem of a deep problem of baby men?

Yes. I think this is what's.

Really going on.

But from what I read, and I've been keeping eye on this for years, and Kristy and I have been talking about it for years, the younger generation, your generation, is having less sex than any other generation before them, like less sexual encounters for a lot of different reasons, probably the pandemic being one of them. Yeah, for sure. But then just the fear. You get pregnant in this country right now? Holy fucking shit. You got zero options, right? I'm fucked. You're fucked. Also, it's just that sex can be a scary thing. You got to meet somebody in person. A lot of people don't do that meeting on a relationship level anymore. They're just all online. And you get, Of course, I'd be nervous, too, right? There's some real world things. But why the granny search has improved so much? Yeah, I don't know. There was this lady on the Stern show, I think it was years ago. Her name was Blue Iris, and she was known as the granny porn queen. And this was long before granny porn was a thing, right?

This was the Clermont Lounge.

This was Clermont Lounge. This was, for those of you that don't know the Clermont Lounge, it's the world famous strip club here in Atlanta that probably every celebrity that's ever been has shown up. Iconic. It's iconic. It is literally a dive bar. I love it. A small thin sheet of cocaine covers everything that you see, along with all kinds of bodily fluids, blood, tears, cum, and everything, right? It is a nasty, nasty dive bar, and it is the best fucking place in the world. You go there late night because that's all they're open. You walk in, you get cheap fucking beer, and then you have granny. Not all of them, but some of them.

Yeah, they're well known for their grandma strippers.

That's right. And the old saying was, Where strippers go to die is the Claremont Lounge. Yes. But they are so entertaining and so lovely- Fucking love them. -and so wonderful that you can't help but be impressed by what's going on in the post.

It's the only strip club I ever want to go to.

Well, it's probably the strip club that I belong at. It's your age range. Yeah, that's right. But I love the Claremont Lounge. Yes, Blue Irish is one of those dancers, but she was doing real porn with young men. Wow. And so do a little homework on Blue Irish. And that's the granny porn that I think about. But she is not the 67-year-old woman that I saw on the television. She's not however old the woman was you met today. Yeah. She looks like a granny, like a typical grandmother. She's passed away now, but she looked like a typical grandmother. And I'm just wondering, what's up with the guys? What's up? Why? Are we doing this as a joke? Are we thinking this is funny? Are we just interested? Are we piquing our curiosity? Or is there something out there in the collective psyche that has made us start to think about grandmas in a more sexual way? Not grandmas, but older. Yeah. Older than you women that are.

I don't know. I feel like I need to ask my guy friends and see. Have any of you guys ever watched grandma porn?

Will you please do and report back to me? Yes, I will. I want the reasoning. Yes.

Yeah, I don't know if any of them are really that adventurous, to be honest. Oh, really? Kind of vanilla.

I'll ask some of them. I'll have some of the younger folks that I know.

Yeah.

We'll ask around. I'll say, have you looked at granny porn, just be honest with me, if you looked at granny porn? Yeah, or text us. Are you in a therapy session? Do you have therapy on a weekly basis? All right, you're ready? Yes. Number two, super size, the overarching bullet point is here, the byline is super size. The terms big, bigger, biggest grew by 177 %. Huge tits, huge cock, huge dildo.

Huge.

Not just big. Huge. Cock and dildo and tits.

Not just big tits. You know.

What I think this might... I'm just thinking about something. I think the world in general is so polarized at extremes that I think we're getting to the extreme levels. I want the biggest cock you've ever seen to go and in between the biggest tits I've ever seen and they're using the biggest dildo I've ever used. Right? You know.

What I'm saying? But no one wants that in real life.

It's just cumbersome. No. Of course not. Well, I mean, speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. But maybe the reason why granny porn is becoming so hot, it's because it's an extreme in and of itself. It's an extreme, huh-huh. I like older ladies. Let me go as old as I possibly can. Maybe it's just.

A thought. I don't know.

I don't know. Uniforms or excuse me, number three, sex machines, Android, the term Android in a porn search up by 1,690 %.

From nothing?

From nothing. Yes. Android. Who is searching for.

Android for? I know. Is it phone porn or does that mean.

Like robot porn? You can't afford an iPhone? You're getting an iPhone. What is going on there? Android porn. I want to see my phone get fucked. That's what I really want. Android cosplay, Android roleplay, robot, sex.

Robot, 3D robot. Maybe that means like Star Wars, Android.

Yeah, I'm thinking this is like, because it's the year of AI and all, you can make anything you want to.

Rose, no friends.

But barf. I know. Put Ariana Grande's head with- Android, Ariana Grande. And I'll write Ariana Grande with Dolly Parton's tits. Huge tits, huge conk.

Grandma, Ariana Android Grande.

It's just like this guy with huge tits and a dick this big. The robot. Ariana Grande's head, but he's a robot.

Yeah, giant pony tail.

Oh, man, I love it. Ariana Grande. Grande, Ariana Grande. That's what I want. Show it to me, Pornhub. Give it to me now.

That's how the kids are going to be doing it.

Show it to me, Pornhub.

They're going to be like, Hey, Siri. Grande, Areia de Grande. The biggest teach you've ever seen? Show it to me.

Sorry, I'm not able to make.

A phone call at this time. But you can't.

Ask me to place a FaceTime call.

I willed it into existence.

I did. Siri, not now.

You're embarrassing us. I know. Ciri is taking over. I can't say that name again because now she's going to pop up one more time. I know. Oh, no. All right, number four is for uniforms, cop uniform, military uniform, soldier, gay soldier, uniform cosplay. I don't want to mention that. Five is sexual healing. Okay, now we're getting somewhere, guys. Now we're getting somewhere. Therapy searches were up 344 %.

They're on porn site, so they want their therapists.

To fuck them? Well, that's exactly what's going on. It's also giving money. Therapy sex.

It's also giving mommy issues.

Foot therapy grew by 219 %.

Watch out for my Fee Finder account, foot therapy.

There you go. Massage therapist grew by 516. I know, but that's the thing I can understand.

That I understand. I get it because I've seen it.

You've seen it?

I'm a porn hub. I thought maybe.

You've been a.

Part of it. But as someone who enjoys to getting a massage, I'm just.

Like, Eew. Yeah, I know how it's- Quit trying to ruin.

The massage industry.

I know. I told the story a long time ago. I went to one of these Jack Shacks, as I referred to them as. I went to a Jack Shack with a friend. It was really late night. We were all fucked up. He had this hankering to go to one of these places. It was a famous place down in downtown Atlanta called the, I don't know, 21 Rooms or something like that. That was way back in the day. It was a huge building, and they had 21 fantasy rooms, and it was literally like a brothel. You walked in- Yeah, that's fun. -there were a bunch of ladies perusing around this small little bar, it looked like a teakey bar. Then you'd go up and you talk to the lady, and if she was available, then you'd go to one of the rooms. Well, my friend went off to whatever, bondage room, I can't even remember what he did. But I was so not into it that I picked the only thing that I knew that I could probably get away with not having to physically interact, the hot tub on the roof. Oh, love that. I go to the hot tub on the roof, everybody disrobes, and I have a very pleasant conversation for an hour with this young lady.

Ifew afterwards I say to my friend, I'm not going to name her, I said, What happened? He's like, Oh, I went into the bondage room, but she ended up giving me a massage. I'm like, Did you get off? He's like, No, I was too scared to. I'm like, Dude, you just paid $400 for both of us to walk in here and talk to somebody. He's like, Hey, therapy. And I'm like, Yeah, whatever. Exactly. I love that, though. You know those... It was the best night of those ladies' lives. They were like, Thank God. 100 %. But I also.

Had- These guys are too fucked up to come anyway.

I know. And we probably were. But I had somebody who was in that business, a young lady, tell me that 70 % of the time when she went to a client's house, they just want to chat. They just want to chat. That's all they want to do. They're lonely. That makes sense. They're lonely. I think this is what Pornhub is revealing is that there is an epidemic of loneliness. What's going on out there in the world? All right, so let's take our first break, and then we'll get back to talking more stuff you probably had to turn off because your children were in the car. I'll be back in a second.

Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job. Now, go to tcbpodcast. Com for all of our audio and video content and get your little booty over to YouTube. Com/thecommercialbreak for a fully edited video episodes. Want to chat? Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb 3. Too embarrassed for your voice to be on the show? We understand. Text us instead at 855-tcb-8383. Can't even do that? No worries. Just follow us on TikTok @tcb-podcast and on Instagram @thecommercialbreak. And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show.

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The commercial break. All right, back here with Christina. Kristy takes a few extra days off to be with family. You know what I didn't have on my bingo card for 2023? What? Kevin Kostner and Jewel dating. Did you hear this? I did not. You know Jule, the singer? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Popular 90s singer.

I don't know what song that is.

I don't know what song that is. I don't know what song that is. I actually don't think that's Jule. Actually, I think Who Will Save Your Soul is Jule. Maybe it is. I don't know. But Jule and Kevin Costner, the very famous movie actor, director, television guy who was in Yellowstone. Was he in Bodyguard? He was in Bodyguard. I love Bodyguard. He was in one of my favorite movies of all times, Dances with if you can get through three and a half hours of dancing with Dances with Wolves. But I love the movie. I really did. My mom took me to see it when I was like, 12 years old, 11 years old, 12 years old, and I sat through the entire thing mesmerized. I don't know why. I think, Te-tonka. Have you seen the movie? Uh-uh. No? Okay. It's a lot about Buffalo or something. I don't know. But it's really good. He was really good in that. But he also did fucking shithouse flops like Waterworld and some other stuff. But Kevin Caw- You got to make your bag. Yeah, you do. Well, he's making his bag because he was an executive producer on that show, Yellowstone.

Oh, wow. I think it was him and the creator put this thing on TV, and it only lasted for four or five seasons. They ended it because there was some dispute about- Yellowstone?

Yellowstone. Yeah. I never watched it, but I heard great things.

About it. It was the most popular television show all five seasons that it was on. People loved it. It was popular by two. But Kevin Costner and Jewel. Kevin is 70 years old. I think Jewel is 48 years old. I mean, that's not the age difference that matters, right? But I don't know, Kevin Costner and Jewel just don't seem to go together. I'm making some assumptions about Kevin's personality and some assumptions about Jewel's personality. Of course. I met her one time when I worked in the radio business. She was as lovely as she could be, sang a few songs for a couple of us in a small room. She was super lovely. But I think of her as maybe a super liberal type of person because of her music and where she came from and the rough life that she had and the causes that she got behind in the 90s. And then I don't think of Kevin like that.

Yeah, I.

Know what you mean. It's just a weird parent. It's a.

Weird parent. It's a weird parent. Well, I don't know. For me, 22 years is a bit much. I'm like, Calm down, kid. Yeah, okay.

I think when you get to that age, she's over 45, he's 70.

I.

Don't think they're getting married.

That's the thing is, for me, at that point, I'm thinking about, well, he's obviously dying first. Do you want to be changing his diapers? Yeah, for sure. No, no.

I mean, unless it's love.. It is But also...

They.

Met on Necker Island. Isn't Necker Island the one, I think that's the one that Richard Branson owns? Sure. Sure. When you own your own island and you decide to name it Necker Island. I don't know, it's too close for comfort to me. Yeah, I don't like it. You should name it something else altogether. You know what I'm saying?

I don't like it. I don't like it either. I call it Branson Island.

Yeah, Branson Island. That's the best thing... You're right. And how do they get electricity to that island? Do they have their own power station there? Honestly, I - Chris, Tina and.

I were talking about this. I can't say I know. I can't say I understand how electricity works.

Tina and I had this whole conversation. And I said I would want a private island, but only if there was infrastructure there. Because if you buy your private island and there's no running water, electricity, you got to.

Do all that stuff. But then again, if you have the money to buy a private island, I guess it's not that big of a deal to add infrastructure.

No, you get your own power station. You're probably with big power. That's probably what's happening. You have relationships with bigpower and big power. With big power. And big water.

Those rat basters.

Those rat basters keeping my iPhone charged all the time. My Tesla plugged in and these beautiful computer screens. Fuck big power. No more big power. No more big power. Down with clean water. Down with clean water.

I don't support that.

I don't support that either. Fuck clean water. Down with clean water. Down with clean water. Making all that money.

With your clean water. Just get the clean water. Just give it to everyone for free.

Be nice. That's right. Taking my shit away from my house all the way to the sanitation station.

Quit trying to make us pay for things that are basic.

Human needs. Well, there's an argument to be made there, for sure. But I get it. This takes a little bit of money to make those.

Things go down. I don't care. They're rich. Give it to us for free.

Yeah, I think the water companies are the big power. We can talk about that. But the water companies, I think, are just like, municipal.

Yeah, I'm fine with the water companies.

I wish I could just pay my taxes.

I'm not fine with the power, people.

Big power. Stop burning all that coal to make my iPhone turn on. I do agree with that.

With the shit they mind to get.

The iPhone. Yeah, I know. That's just terrible.

It's all so bad.

I know. It's so bad.

The world is grumbling.

Yes, it is. But hey, listen, we're having fun here at the commercial break. Yeah, we are. As the end of days comes closer, just know that you can tune into the commercial break nine days a week.

The commercial break..

The tune into.

The commercial bake. Yeah, I'm.

Having trouble sometimes with my tongue, and I figured out why. It's because I'm talking baby talk all day long, and I think that it's all that loose tongue like, Da da du du da da da zee zee zee, da peepie, boopo. It starts getting mixed up in my head. Children will do a number on your head. I've learned this. They will do a number on your head.

I don't want that.

No, right? Well, I'm not arguing with you. You don't want it, then don't have it. If you don't want it, it's probably.

Best- It's scary. It's so scary.

Like pregnancy, children, they just mess with you, man.

They do. Mess with you. I will say there is something beautiful on the end of the risk.

There is something- There is that. I mean, people have been doing it, but it's like that chemical in your brain makes you forget everything bad about pregnancy.

It makes you forget everything bad about birth. Astrid and I had a bad birthing experience with one of our children, but she barely remembers what happened while me and her mother, who was in the room for part of it, are no joke.

Traumatized.

Ptsd. No joke. I went to therapy for it because every time I thought about it, I started cry and then breaking down because it was just such a terrible experience.

That shit's terrifying.

According to Astrid, everything was fine. I'm like, no, it wasn't. No, it most definitely was not fine.

Look at our fabulous children. Look at.

Our wonderful children. Everything turned out wonderful. I don't even remember. You're being over dramatic. Did he? Did he? You don't want children? Don't have them. But according to me. Unfortunately, the.

Government may see it differently. I'm going to do what I want.

I think that's a good thing. And just I hope you live in a state where you can do what you want. Just remember that. You brought to my attention Christina Carpenter. No. No, I know. I'm just joking with you. I'm just seeing if you.

Need me.

I was like, Damn, Brian. Sabrinah Carpenter. Yes. World famous musician, and that's all I know about her.

So, fill us in. So, here's the thing. Okay. I want to talk to you about my favorite genre of music, which is what I like to call Slutty Christmas.

Slutty Christmas.

Slutty Christmas is my favorite genre.

Baby, it's cold outside.

That's Purvy Christmas. Those are different genres.

Let me put a roofie in your drink.

Purvy Christmas. So, Slutty Christmas, which Itry to say honestly, I don't know where Slutty Christmas began, probably at the start of times. Yes, Mariah Carey. Yeah, I feel like even before that. You think so? I don't know. There's probably some Slutty Christmas songs from back in the day.

I think the Ronette were hot. That's all I got to say.

I don't know who that.

Is, but I believe it's- They sang Christmas songs, you know. But they didn't sing Slutty Christmas songs.

But they were- They were good looking women. -maybe they were like Slutty for the time, though. Not them, the songs.

Yeah, they're dressed up in their little Mrs.

Claw's outfit. I mean, they do what they want, but Slutty Christmas is a genre. It's a bad bitch genre. Love it. So, I mean, for me, the number one purveyor of the genre has always been Ariana Grande. Grande, Ariana Grande.

Grande, Ariana Grande. Android, Ariana Grande. Yeah, so I'll take an L Grande, Ariana.

Grande, Android version, please. Because she came out with this album called Christmas and Chill, which obviously Netflix and Chill. Got it. You get the reference.

I do.

We're setting it up this Christmas. I love it. And there's this one song called Whitit this Christmas. I shit you not the lyrics. Are you down for some of these milk and cookies? Yeah. Wow. I fucking love it. It's like, Be my drummer boy, and I'm the only drum that you're going to play. Holy shit. I know Slutty Christmas. I fucking love it. So, Sabrinna Carpenter whips out a little Crimbo album.

Okay, Crimbo.

Crimbo. Crimbus. And I am so here for it. So her song, my number one Spotify rap song this year was Nonsense by Sprina Carpenter. Okay. Which is the premise is looking at you, got me thinking nonsense, sense that I just want to fuck, basically. I'm so into you. Wow. So yeah, I.

Love it. I didn't even know that a Slutty Christmas was a genre, but now I'm totally into it. It is for me. It's something I'm going to play at Christmas Eve with all the kids gathered around the Christmas table. Ill get on this North Pole.

Every year I typically have a disco Christmas party, which is essentially code for Slutty Christmas. So I play all my Slutty Christmas songs and disco, and everyone has to dress disco. It's great.

I love it. It's a really good time. And when do you put this disco Christmas on?

It's typically around this time. Okay. Around this time. I'm not doing it this year.

Why?

It was too much work last year.

Okay. I love it. It was too much work.

I know it was too much work. I know it was too much work. I was like, Baby doesn't have an enter this year. Okay, fair enough. So now, Sabrinah has come out with a Nonsense Christmas, which is the first song on fruitcake, her Christmas album.

I have it. Yes. And let's listen to it. We're going to break down the lyrics because I've only heard one line of the song, and I'm already partly disturbed and then partly enjoying myself way too much.

I'm really excited. I think it's a great song.

Great lyrics and something. Let's play it, Nonsense by Sabrinah Carpenter. Let's start at the beginning here.

What? I think I'll change your contact to has a huge North Pole.

Honestly, that's relatable content. Thank you, Sabrinah. Not for Astrid, but you know.

I know. No, she's not getting a huge North Pole. No, she's more like, I'm going to put it as has a okay candy cane.

Skinny.

Skinny candy cane. Not the big curve. And curved to the left. That's right. The small ones you get at the bank. You know what I'm saying?

The sad ones, yeah.

For three months after Christmas, they're sitting at the bank. First of all, second of all, when I was a kid, you have to have a Decatur ring to figure out what Nirvana or Pearl Jam or Soundgarden was saying. Nope, not with Sabrin. She goes right at it. That was a change of content. That is right on the face right there.

You said you like my stock and it's better on the floor. I've been a bad girl, I guess I'm getting cold now. Let me come on you up. Even out in the snow. Maybe my tone goes down.

Sounds like, Oh, no. What is going on? You were not kidding. Okay, let me repeat.

Those lyrics.

Yeah, go ahead. You said you like my stockings, better on the floor. Hilarious. Boy, I've been a bad girl. I guess I'm getting cold. Let me come warm you up. You've been out in the snow. Baby, my tongue goes numb. Sounds like, ho, ho, ho. This is great. I love it. This is like.

Weird El Yankovik shit. I will say she also has a different song that literally one of the first three lyrics is like... I can't take it. It's like you try all the ho, ho, hoes and put me on top or something, and I'm like, Oh, go off, girl. Yeah, hey, ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho.

Put me on top. Three of them.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. I don't want to be like, Oh, I need no to those. Underneath this old tree is a little caroled out row. It's about you and me all over Christmas. Looking at you got me thinking Christmas. Snowfix in my stomach or my kissing.

This.

Is just cute. And when you're coming down to me all it feels so good. I need that Charles Dickens.

Yeah, we need that Charles Dickens this Christmas.

We need that Charles Dickens. Take me to hot stone massage.

How do you make Christmas this bloody? And when you're coming down my chimney, Oh, it feels so good. Yes. This is the genre we've been missing.

When you're coming down my chimney, it feels so good.

When you're coming down my chimney, it.

Feels so good. I need that.

Charles Dickens. I need that Charles Dickens.

This is great.

Good for her. I'm dying every time I listen to this. Okay, let's go.

Through it a little bit more because I'm reading ahead and I think it's funny.

There are so many good lines. There are so many good lines, by the way. I know it all.

I'll take you through where I'll be evixing. I don't even know I'm talking Christmas. I'm talking, I'm talking, I'm talking, decking all the hauls. I'm talking, spiking eggnog. I'm talking, opposite of the snow. I'm talking big snowballs. You got a new toy from me. I'm now here, Jim in the tree. I caught that holiday glee. My true love gave it to me. Let me go morning love. Even out in the snow. Baby, my tongue goes long. Sounds like ho-Oh, my God.

I'm talking deck and all the hauls. I'm talking spiking eggnag. I'm talking opposite of small.

I'm talking big old snowballs. Big snowballs. This is good. She went for it.

She did it. Is this like... Obviously, this one, this doesn't play on the radio, I'm sure. Does it? I mean, there's no actual explicit words. I don't know. Well, I don't know. It's a little racy, but I mean, it's all inuendo.

Yeah, and also I feel like it's deeply funny.

It's.

Hilarious. It's so clever.

It's a Christmas sex song is what it is. It's a.

Christmas sex song. She's a sexy Christmas.

Yeah, she's begging for that big dick. She's begging for that Charles Dickens.

We need that Charles Dickens.

She's begging for that spiked egg dog. See? There you go.

Underneath this old tree is a little caroled road. It's about you and me. You're my wishlist. Looking at you got me thinking Christmas. Snowflakes in my stomach while my kissing. When you're coming down to try. I'm trying to try. I'm trying to try. Oh, it feels so good. I need that Charles Dickens. You'll be sat across.

From me. Oh, sing it, girl.

I don't even know I'm talking, I'm talking, I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking.

I'm reading ahead. I'm talking. I'm talking. Okay, here comes the punchline.

I'm talking chestnut. Yeah.

.

Look at all those presents. That's a big sack. Boy, that package is too big to get wrap. Woke up this morning, thought I'd write a Christmas. How quickly can you build a snowman.

Thing fast? Oh, my God.

I mean, doesn't Slutty Christmas just warm.

Your heart? I got to be honest with you. It's a good jingle. It's got a good tune. It's got a great beat, and the lyrics are fucking hilarious.

There's so good. I'm talking.

Shit as nuts. They're hilarious. Oh, my God. Good for this. Good for Sabrinah.

I know. I love her. She really.

Is doing it. Slutty Christmas, my new favorite.

Genre, too. When she sings nonsense normally, she normally ends it with an ad lib for whatever city she's in. Actually, whenever she did a show for the BBC, she actually got in trouble because it was too dirty. Oh, really? Yeah. She said something like, Youknow that BBC has a search term on porn? Yeah. She essentially made a quip at the end that was related to that, and that was too dirty. The BBC took it off the air and took it off YouTube and all that stuff.

Yeah, you can't.

Offend the But it's her thing. Every city she goes to, she'll come up with the ending line, How quickly can you build a snowman? That thing. She'll take that and switch it up depending on... And it's always like sexualBut like, because Nantra is.

Her big song. Okay, now listen, this is where I've seen this. I've seen.

This- On Instagram?

-on Instagram, yes. I've seen her switch the lyrics and a bunch of them. That's how this song sounds familiar, now I know. This girl is also opening up for Taylor Swift and all of our South American and European tour stops, which is- Amazing. -amazing.

I mean.

Great work. Yeah, we saw them and they were... Who was opening? I forgot who was opening up for Taylor when we went and saw Taylor. But I'm telling you what, this is my new favorite Christmas song, and I'm going to play it for the kids. I'm going to wonder, do you even know? You couldn't possibly know. They probably do know because at age two now they're learning about sex. The thing is, they won't be having any by the time that they grow up. It'll be all out of style.

I was talking about that Christmas and Chill album from Ariana Grande. Yeah. She actually recently released one of her other Christmas songs. She did a re-release, and it's Santa Tell Me, which you've probably heard. I've heard it, yeah. Now it is Santa Tell Me (naughty) version. But I was very disappointed. It wasn't that naughty. After knowing Sabrina Carpenter's work. Yeah.

After knowing about the big.

Balls and the Charles Dicken. Yes, that's a big sack. Boy, that package is too big to gift back. I was very disappointed. It's like she only changed one little section where it's like, get on top of him by the fireplace or whatever. I'm like, Girl, no, we were picturing that anyway. The Inuender was already there. You can't call this the naughty version and only change one verse.

Okay, but hear me out. There's a difference between being known for your dirty.

Verse, right? I feel like Ariana is for her dirty verse, too. Okay. She puts out some bloody song.

Break up.

With your girlfriend. Yeah.

I'm bored. But that's a bloody inuendo, right? This is like.

More on- Is.

That inuendo? Break up with your girlfriend on board? Yeah, it's inuendo. It's not, Break up with your girlfriend. I want to fuck your dick. That's not what it is. You know what I'm saying?

That's not a screen of the Carpenter either.

Yeah, but I mean, when you're talking about Balls, Charles.

Dickens, and your youth. I need that Charles Dickens. She just wants to hear a Christmas carol. Okay. Ryan. Okay.

Get it together.

Old white man. That's a big sack of presents.

That is funny. Here's what I have to say. I love it. I'm into it. I like it. I actually think.

It's interesting. I love Slutty Christmas.

Listen, one of my favorite things in the world, you will not relate to this, but one of my favorite things in the world, maybe one of my favorite things in the world was when Weird Al Yankovik put out new music. Now, he was not Slutty, but his music was good, and it also was funny, right? And so good and funny music to me, it's great. And this is perfect. I love it. You've opened up a whole new world for me. Oh, I think she's amazing. I've seen the Instagram videos, but I've never heard the whole song. I've just seen the part where she switches out the lyrics.

Oh, no, you've only heard the.

Christmas version. Look at that. The young kids come in and you learn something. See, two old people sit here and we just forget everything. We're like, Who said that? What happened?

Who did that? I'm sitting there, everything like, Damn it, Brian.

Yeah, I know. Christina puts the corrections in the show notes. You're an idiot, Brian. I try to be nice. I didn't know. All right, let's take our second break and we'll be back with more.

Okay, Brian, let me give the people what they want, our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. If, like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more, give us a call and leave us a message at (626) asktcb3 or send us a text, no sexting, please, at (855) tcb8383. And, of course, go to tcbpodcast. Com to see everything there is to see. Now, let's hear from our sponsors and then the show must go on.

All right, back with more. Hey, I wanted to get your take. Did you see the Drew... What?

I'm back with more. I wanted to get.

Your take. Yeah, I don't know. I'd like live editing the show. Now we're doing the show, live editing, so I fire off the commercials and stuff like that, which is something I should have thought about three and a half fucking years ago. I don't know why I didn't. I think hours of editing and just wasted life. Well, wasted life, almost a bankruptcy, almost a divorce. I could have the entire time been saving myself at least an hour just live editing the show.

It got me out of it.

So that's a win. I know, that's good. Well, you're not going anywhere. That's a win. But I'm still trying to feel out how to come back and go to the breaks. Yeah, we're all learning together. There's only 6,000 episodes of this damn show, and three 38,000 more to go. So there you go. I wanted to know if you had seen or heard about the Oprah Winfrey Drew Barry Moore interview, because I had talked to Tina about this right after it happened. But now I'm seeing more and more comments and clips.

I haven't.

Seen the.

Whole thing, but I have seen clips of it. Is it from Comfortable to you? Of Drew Barrymore being fucking weird. Weird. All the clips I've seen are like avery more all up, basically sitting in Oprah's lap, stroking her arm, and everyone's like, drunk girls in the bathroom. I'm like, yes, relatable. Drunk girls in the bathroom, that's funny. And it's like, You're the best friend I've ever had.

I think she's trying way too hard.

She's being weird.

I agree.

But it's like giving that she's really trying to be vulnerable, but it's trying too hard.

I think it comes across as very needy.

Well, it just comes across as strange. I agree. Why are you doing this? This is like what you do when you're absolutely shemacked.

With your girlfriends. When you're shitfaced. When you're on ecstasy, shemacked.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're like, I just want to.

Love you.

I just love you.

I love the way your skin feels. You're so beautiful. You've always been.

So beautiful. Yeah, that was weird. All my.

Friends are girls. I know this. I know this whole hand-holding thing. I've been in a few girls' bathrooms. Ryan is a lesbian. Oh, I'm a lesbian. All right. I just wish they loved me back. But I watched the interview and I thought to myself, How uncomfortable for Oprah. So strange. Must this be? First of all, she's probably not used to getting touched by anybody except for studman because her security won't allow it. But second of all, there's nothing Oprah can do but sit there and be the Oprah that we all know and love, which is-.

Yeah, she can't.

Scoot away. She will not be rattled by this, right? But you can tell. You just watch her eyes, you can tell she's a little bit rattled by this.

It was weird. It was weird. I wonder what was going through Drew's mind.

After.

The Jayda- But she's had a weird few months.

Jayda Pinkett Smith. Well, first of all, she wanted to break the sag after a picket line, which I thought was pretty shitty.

That was so bad. It was.

Such a stupid move. It was just a dumb thing. I get it. You want to feed the families. Who do you think you are. Yeah, you want to feed the families of the people who do want to come back to work. But then there's tens of thousands of people that are relying on every single person not so that they can have... That's the strength in negotiation. We're never going back to work until you getyou sit down at the table and we negotiate this out. So it was a dumb move. She pulled back really quickly. Then she has this J. To Pinkett Smith interview, which is very similar in nature. She's sitting on the couch super close. They're grabbing each other and they're talking about coming out of their mother's vaginas. And it's just like a weird- The Jayda Pinkett.

Smith stuff, in general, is like, Girl, this is a story none of us want to hear anymore. Please, someone.

Stop her. No. You put it in your book to call attention to it, and then you run around.

All she wants to do is fucking talk.

I know. And we're.

Like, Please, no. No one wants to hear about your relationship anymore. Go back to your red table. It's so weird. Go back to.

Your red table. Yeah, I agree.

It's a concerning relationship.

Every time you go on one of these talk shows, all you're doing is further yanking Will Smith's balls, who has not had a particularly great three years, if we all got to be honest.

It's just strange. It's strange. I do not understand her motivations. It feels so weird. I don't know. It's just super weird.

For me. I think I understand. I appreciate what they are going through. Marriage is tough. It's a long haul. When you have kids, it throws in a whole other thing. I watched this Instagram video, and I thought this guy was telling a story about what his grandmother said about his grandfather. It is the most amazing way that I've ever heard marriage described. Oh, okay. This grandmother said, and the guy's retelling the story, My grandmother used to say, I've been married to 51 different men. Okay. No, you have been married to grandpa. Exactly. He's been 51 different men since I've met him, and he'll say the same thing about me. Everybody changes, grows, moves on people. They don't stay the same. And she's like, I'm on my 51st version of your grandfather.

I.

Get like wanting to tell people that marriage is tough. It takes different forms. You can go through different things. You don't have to be together all the time. You can sleep in different beds. You can have different arrangements. I understand that, and I'm down with it 100 %. Whatever makes you happy, whatever's cool in your own bedroom. But you wrote it in the book. We got it. Now you don't have to go and double explain yourself.

That's tessifying. You put it in the book for a reason. Now stop. Now stop. And at this point, it almost feels like invasive of us. We do not belong this much inside of your relationship. You have to keep some things private. Please, for the love of God, stop telling the public about your relationship. Please. Please.

You cheated on Will. We don't want to hear it. You brought him to your fucking red table to.

Talk about it. Oh, my God. All she can fucking talk about is how much fucking she loves Tupac. And it's like.

Please stop. I know. You're just.

Slapping Will in the face in front of us. Every time. That was not intentional, me saying, Slapping him in the face.

Pun intended. No pun intended.

But at this point, it's like, this is embarrassing for everyone involved. I totally agree. The viewer, her, him, their family. It's like, stop.

That's the other thing, too, is I agree with you. Will is getting emasculated at every single turn. Listen, while I do not ever condone violence under any circumstance, unless you're defending yourself or your family, what he did to Chris Rock was terrible. That was wild. And he should never be allowed back at the academy. He deserves all kinds of repercussions because of that. But that's for other people to decide because I'm just a.

Viewer at home.

However, you start to wonder if Will is losing it because his wife just keeps on talking about who she wants to sleep with instead of her husband.

But they've been separated. It's just like, why would he get so upset in the first place if they technically weren't even together and hadn't been together for a while at that point? And it's just like, why are you guys bringing this up all the time? Honestly, if you'd stop fucking talking about it, Jayda, we probably wouldn't care.

We.

Wouldn't. Yes. I don't know. I'm just like, Please.

Show the logo. But Drew's sitting there smothering her during this interview, and she's spouting off more of the same stuff that we're hearing. By the way, Jayda Pinkett Smith has all the right in the world to say whatever she wants to say. I'm not telling anybody to shut up. I am. I just don't want to hear.

It anymore.

But I watched that interview on the backs of the Oprah interview because I saw that both of these interviews have the same pattern. Drew is obviously a little bit starstruck. She wants it to go well. She wants people to open up. She desperately wants this to be the place where people come and be vulnerable and get the interview of the lifetime. She wants to be Oprah. That's what she wants to be. So she meets the Queen and she grabs the Queen's hand and she does not fucking let go.

And she strokes her arm, which for me, I don't know, I think a lot of people of my generation, we tend to talk about things like sensory issues and stuff like that. For me, stroking of an arm is something that gives me the fucking heebie, jeebie. Why? I don't know. I don't know. It's just a sensory thing. I really don't know. If someone puts their arm around me and rubs their thumb, I am like, Fucking stop touching me. Really? Yeah, I don't know. I just.

Hate it. I hate the way it feels. You don't feel it as like a... Obviously, it's a strange person.

I know then the intention behind it is totally fine. But I remember finding that out when I was 17, 18. And I guess it's never really been a thing within my family. Maybe it's just people outside of my family. I don't know. But I've noticed with partners or just people in general, I don't like... You can put your arms around me, but don't then rub your arm.

You don't like the extra stroking?

Yeah. I don't like it.

You want a solid touch, not something that moves.

Yeah, I don't like that. It's disgusting for me.

That is so interesting.

So watching her hold her hand and hold her arm hostage like that and stroke her arm like that had me cringing so hard. I'm actually cringing just thinking about it. Wow. To me, that felt so invasive. I don't know. I hated it.

You know, I hated it. A lot of people that are younger than I am have explained to me that they have sensory issues of some kind, certain types of music, loud noises, feeling a certain touching a certain way. And I wonder, yeah, okay, cool. I don't know where.

I just wondering why. Where does it come from? Why? What is it? I don't know.

You know what I can't do? I can't put cloth in my mouth. Watching somebody like my child take their shirt and put it in their mouth, I'm thinking about it right now. It just gives.

Me chills. Oh, that's interesting. To me, that's a sensory thing. I used to like that as.

A kid. Oh, I think every kid did, putting their- Yeah, I.

Used to like putting a washcloth or something in my mouth.

I tell my kids to stop it, and then I realized I don't want to throw my anxieties on you. So you do whatever you want, I'm going to turn my head. I'm so sorry. I'm so.

Sorry.

You're a disgusting little thing.

I just remember being so grossed out when a boyfriend did that to me once. I was like, Please, don't rub my arm like that. I was like, I just don't like it. I really don't.

It. Hey, fair enough. I mean, if you don't like something, you don't like something. Thank God, Oprah probably doesn't have that same sensitivity because Drew really did give her arm a hand job. And by the way, she got an arm job. But by the way, love Drew. And she's having a renaissance. And that's great. And I think.

That's wonderful. No, I like Drew Barrymore, but I don't like the format these.

Interviews are taking. No, I think she's got to back off a little bit. You know, it's weird. She has Corey Haim on, right? Yes. Which we reviewed, and they're sitting on opposite sides of the stage. And then only for certain interviews does she come into the couch.

It just feels like a broach of boundaries. I wonder if beforehand she discusses- I'm sure she does.

-their positioning with them. With Oprah, for sure. With Oprah, for sure. She must. But then why with.

Oprah, I don't know. It had a weird vibe, that interview. It did. From what I saw. Obviously, I didn't watch the whole thing, so I didn't.

And I'm sure had Oprah been that bothered by it, she probably would have said something. She probably.

Would have said something. But also in front of an audience.

Yeah, you don't want to be a bitch, right?

Yeah, and you don't want to come off as, I think I'm better than you. I need to step away.

It's true.

But.

I do like Drew, and I'm rooting for Drew, but I think these interviews, like Oprah used to have a couch, too. And you know what? Oprah sat on one side of the couch and the person sat on the other side of the couch, and they had a discussion. So I know you have this show as an homage to Oprah, Per, Drew. I think you just need to back off a little bit. I agree. But maybe that'll come with maturity and finding her own style.

I don't...

I.

Know this- I thought it was better earlier on when it was more lighthearted. The intense stuff is not really for me.

No. Well, but daytime television has always been like this, right? Yeah, that's true. That's true. There has been goofiness and seriousness on all sides of the aisle. Through the '90s, you had Jenny Jones, who sometimes would take on a more serious take. You had Oprah, who sometimes would take on a more serious take. Then you would have Maury Povish and Ricky Lake, who would definitely not be taking anything seriously. I used to love.

Watching Maury when I was homesick.

I used to love watching Maury when I was homesick. Yeah, Maury is the worst.

-i was school watching Mori, I loved it.

He's the worst.

You are not the father.

I say he's the worst, and then I have always wanted to do that on this show. Like, show those results to somebody. That would be fun.

It would be fun.

But finding three consenting adults to have that conversation without getting into a fistfight here in the studio might be challenging, might not. He seemed to be doing okay. Is he still on? I don't know. Maury had to have.

Made that- Who has cable? Actually, I guess he wasn't on.

Cable, was he? No, he was on CBS or something like that. Who has TV? No, I do.

I mean, I've got some streaming channels that my dad pays for.

I got YouTube, TV, and I got that direct TV, but it's the app thing. Wow, boujee. It's the app. So I don't have the fancy hook it up to the back of your thing. It's the app. Yeah, it's the app. Either way, I do like my cable stations. Amazing. I only watch three of them, and I pay for 300 of them, so whatever. And that's the problem with cable, is that you got to pay for so much stuff you don't want, right?

I live exclusively off of Peacock and my Bravo shows.

Your Bravo shows.

Yeah, you know it.

I was watching, yeah, Below Dech. We'll get into that. You'll be back here tomorrow. And so we'll get into Peacock because I want to talk about that Below Dec. Chrisie is a big fan of that also, but I'm reading about some really serious drama, and I want to know.

Your thoughts.

From Down Under? From Down Under. Yeah, there you go. All right. Hey, listen, thanks so much for showing up today. I really appreciated you and your Charles Dickens and your big snowballs. Thanks for.

Having me. And your.

Granny porn. And your granny porn. I wish you the best on taking that foot and slapping somebody in the penis and making some money on it. I will. Penis slapping with your foot. That's what we're going to call it.

Foot slapping. Find me on Feed Finder.

Feed Finder. I'll put a link in the show notes. All right, tcbpodcast. Com. That's where you go. You find out more about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location delicately handled and edited by our good friend Christina here. Naturally. You can also get your free piggy-fronting sticker. Go hit the Contact Us button, send us your physical address. We will send off a sticker if you want us to sign it or something. Put that in the notes, and we will do it for you. 1, 6-2-6, ask TCB the number three. That's 6-6. Ask TCB the number three. Tolt free from anywhere in the world. Questions, comments, content, ideas, concerns, whatever. Send it our way. We'll ignore the concerns and we'll take the content ideas. Also, ask Bryan's mom. Mom will be back in season number five. We've got a couple of great questions for mom, by the way. I cannot wait to have her back. We'll have her back after the holidays. So send those all. You can also leave us a voicemail at that same number. But if you leave a voicemail, we may use your voice. So please don't say anything that you may not want out there in the world.

Okay, add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube. Com slash the commercial break. I want to tell you, thank you very much for listening throughout the year. We're super excited about season number five. I hope you have a fantastic holiday season. New episodes all through, so don't worry, you'll still get fresh up. If you are listening to us during your Christmas break, you're an idiot. Turn it off. Come back to us after that. All right, Christina, I think that's all my balls can do today. God, yeah. Yeah, but best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christina and I always say, we do say, and we must say, good bye. I take a dick in and keep on licking. -yeah. -yeah.