You know, mayonnaise tastes a whole lot better when there's no nagging rats in your ear telling you how disgusting it is. I don't care. I'll eat mayonnaise off anything. I'll eat mayonnaise.

I'll eat mayonnaise off your down. On this episode of The Commercial Break.

What are you going to do when Caca the Cockatoo comes down on you? Are you going to be in on this? You're going to be out on this? We're going to give you all 40,000 Beanie Babies for nothing. I'm broke as a joke. Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now.

Unbelievable. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

Yeah, boy.

Oh, yeah, Kathy Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the CEO of this podcast. If you're looking for money, Kristin Joy-Hotley. Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian. And don't call me. Bill Collectors.

No, we don't have your I have a number on the Bill Collectors. But this phone, however, wow. A lot of people ringing me lately. All right. Yeah. All right. Thanks for joining us. Here we are. Now, the best of you out there in the podcast universe. If I forgot to say it, if I did say it, then that's just part of the show. Brian constantly fucking it up. How do you feel about mouthkissant friends?

I do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, there's a big debate that's been going on in my house for a long time about mouthkissant friends. Yeah. And there's a big debate that's been going on amongst other friends about mouth kissing friends. Some people say it's appropriate and nice, and it's just a kind gesture to someone that you know and that you love. Other people say it's not the right thing to do. You shouldn't be mouth kissing anybody except for your loved ones. Why do you take the stance that mouth kissing is the appropriate way to address friends?

Well, it's not with everybody. Oh, sure. But yeah, ones that I love. I do a mouth kiss if they're comfortable with it, and I think they are. Sure.

I think most people are comfortable with my mouth kissing because I- Lip to lip.

No tongue.

No, no, no, no, no, Open mouth. A quick kiss?

Yeah.

Well, here's where I think the drama comes in. They're not like best friend to best friend, right? Okay, I understand that. I agree with that. Where it gets a little shady, I think, is when it's like randos that you know and they go in for the mouth. Because this happens a lot in the- Oh, well, you just turn the cheek. Yeah, that's what I do. Because I do think there's... Here's what got me started on all this. I read somewhere that David Beckham does not ever, ever put his arm around another woman. Not for photographs, not famous people, not nothing. If you look through his recent birthday photographs, you'll see that at least most of those pictures, it's clear he is not putting his arm around Not anybody. His reasoning why sounded pretty pure, and I thought it was thoughtful, which is that affection is reserved for my wife. I want her to know and my kids to know that she's the only one in the world that gets that attention. I like that. Well, then I assume that David Beckham is not a mouth kisser, right? I'm just going to throw that out there.

He's not a mouth kisser of friends. Probably not. So this got me thinking about this debate that has been raging. Some people in my family, I guess it might be more of an American thing and not necessarily a Venezuelan thing. I'm not saying Astrid, but some people in my family say that they think it's wholly inappropriate, right? I don't think so. I think so on some occasions, and here's what I mean. There's a group of friends that we travel in, nice enough people. They're lovely human beings. I just love all of them to death. When I see them and when I see them, it's usually once a year at most. We're traveling in this group of people, and it seems the mouth kiss has become the de facto greeting for everybody who ever knew anybody for any reason whatsoever. I don't think that is appropriate. You don't know me. I don't know you. You've been in the woods for many months now. You're coming out to brush your teeth and take a shower right now. I'm not sure that the mouth kiss is where I want to go with it. I tend to do the tap hug.

Heart hugs are great, but I'm starting to reserve heart hugs also for people that I know well enough to give a heart hug to. If best friends go in for a mouth kiss every once in a while, I don't get upset about it. I don't get upset about it. But I do understand why it can be unnerving sometimes. Because when I travel in this group of people, when I show up that once a year for the random party or birthday or whatever it is, and everybody goes in for a mouth kiss, boys, girls, everybody goes in for a mouth kiss, I feel like we just got finished with COVID, where we were all pretty clear at one point, even handshaking was going to be outlawed. Now you're going in for the mouth kiss. I would appreciate no, unless you know me well enough, and we've spent enough time together that a mouth kiss is appropriate, because it really does feel a little strange when there's a guy that you met one time in 2006 at a party in the woods, tripping high on ayahuasca and fucking, jelly rolling or whatever we were doing. Then you see him again, 15 years later and he's like, Hey, Ben.

No, no, no, no, no, Well, I mean, my lip kissing is reserved for family, really only, and then close, very, very close friends that are like family.

Yes.

I don't disagree with that approach. What I disagree with is the casual kissing of the mouth that goes on in some circles that we may or may not run it. Do you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm going with this.

I do. Well, let them mouth kiss all they want.

I see it all the time. I'm like, Oh, God damn. I went to a thing months ago. I went to a thing, and this guy is just running around mouthkissant everybody. I know you know him. I know you know what I'm talking about. Mouth kiss here, mouth kiss there, their mouth kiss here, mouth kiss. Everywhere, a mouth kiss. Snuggling in the necks, licking ears, the whole nine hours. It's really weird and strange. I'm just watching him work the room like this, and I'm thinking to myself, does anybody else not see him kissing everybody else? As if we need more germs spread around, he's kissing everybody. It's not only the germ thing. If handshaking was giving us COVID, what is mouth kissing doing? It's giving us something much worse. I know what it's. Bird flu is transmuting to humans because Because someone's out there mouthkissant their best friend chicken. You know what I'm saying? What I have to say about this, what I'd like to share to the audience is if you meet me and- Does this need to go in the treaty? Yeah, it does need to go in the treaty. Yeah. A mouth kissing is not something I'm down for with relative strangers.

Now, I don't mean relatives that are strangers. I mean relative strangers. If you're a relative stranger, don't approach me with a mouth kiss. I think we have had to have been in the trenches for some time together through good and bad, thick and thin, spent nights opining about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness in order to get to that stage where I think I would be comfortable in some small way having a peck on the mouth because we're saying hello. But if I just know you because we threw up in the woods of South Carolina together one time, that doesn't necessarily mean I want to share saliva. Do you know?

I agree. I'm with you on that.

There's lots of ex-girlfriends that I mean, I shouldn't, but I wouldn't mouth kiss anymore to you. That's just a thing. Plus, I always feel like there's a level of drug abuse that goes along with that mouth kissing. Do you know what I'm saying? Clearly, someone's been in the bathroom doing key bumps. That just became a thing. I don't even mouth kiss my own children. But I see it all the time on Instagram, and I wonder, wow, that's just a video going around. It's an international Snooker tournament, okay? In London. Snooker. Snooker. Pool.

Snooker tournament. Oh, right. Okay.

There's a Snooker Championship, which is big over there. Snooker and Darts. It's big over in England. The BBC or somebody is carrying this live, and they're doing an interview with one of the, I guess, people that won. But what's getting attention is in the background, there seems to be a father right up behind a boy that I would say is 11, 12 years old. He wraps around the kid's face. Imagine he's right behind him, right over his shoulder. He wraps around, he gives the kid a peck on the cheek, and then he gives the kid a little peck on the neck, and then he bites his ear in this weird sexual way. People are all up in arms about this. They called the police and said, Find this kid and find this person. Call the police. Well, I'm not sure everybody felt comfortable that this was a father. I think some people thought this was just somebody had been kidnapped or something.

Abiding of the ear is a little strange, but hey, maybe that's what they do in their family. Yeah.

I see that as wholly inappropriate. You shouldn't be licking on your kid's ear, right? No. That's not the affection I would give my children anyway. I don't think that's appropriate at all. But then I see a lot of parents, and I know that mouth kissing is like, it can be an affection thing. You're showing your love for your child. I get it. I'm not completely disagreeing with mouth kissing. I just don't do it. It's just not my thing. It's our asternized general rule. Let's not generalize general rule. Let's not generalize general rule. Let's not generalize general rule.

Let's not Well, they're sick a lot, too.

Yeah, they're sick a lot. And are we showing them the wrong affection that they should be sharing with other people? Are they going to think it's okay coming from someone else because then we do it? And it just seems a little strange. The only people I've mouthkissed in my life are people that I want to bed or best friends, right? I don't think I need to share that with my kids because obviously, that's a weird and wrong thing to do. So when you see me that once every decade. I would just appreciate it if you would put the mouth kissing away just for me, right? You want a heart hug? Let's ask. Let's talk about that before. Let's negotiate how that's going to go down, how long it's going to last for, what's off limits and on limits. You know what I'm saying? I would like to have just a little consensual heart hugging or mouth kissing conversation before we do it if you're someone that I don't know on a regular basis. How do you bring that up? That's all I got to share. What's that?

How do you bring that up?

Don't kiss me on the mouth. You know what I've said before? There was this party that we went to. I don't think you were there, but this is a party that we went to. There was this one woman who had denoted to other people in the group, because I heard it, that she thought that I was cute and attractive and all this. Oh, you should... The truth was, no, no, no, no, fine person, but because she was way in outer space. I mean, like super duper outer space. She lived in a goat farm. But when I say she lived on a goat farm, she lived in the barn with the goats. Do you know? She was, I don't know, breastfeeding them or something. There's some weird shit going on, but it was way out there for me. She's like, dancing around. One of my friends comes over, Hey, did you just take a look at so so so. I'm like, Yeah, whatever. Fine. As soon as she spotted me. She cut a rug right through the crowd of people and was heading toward me with those lips perched like...

Come to mama.

And do you know what I did? I literally turned around. I was standing at a bar and I literally turned in face to the bar and started drinking real fast. And she gave me this weird side hug. She was trying to kiss my mouth and I was like, Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, Great to see you. Listen, remember that time I gave you my phone number? It's changed. And before the end of this night, I'm going to give you the new phone. Can't remember it now, but I'm going to give it to you. So why don't you do me a favor? Open up that phone. Let me see that contact. Oh, yes, delete, block. You don't want to call that phone number anymore. Let me give you the real phone number when I figure out what that real phone number is. Right.

Well, just like the commercial break, it could have changed quite a bit.

We've had seven phone numbers now, mainly because of the mouth kissing is the reason why I had to change the phone number. Lots of people were like, Are you up for a mouth kiss? I can meet you if you're up for a mouth kiss. Hey, I wanted to share something, and I think this will be interesting to the audience. Christie and I are considering considering doing some live shows toward the late middle part of the year, like early fall sometime. Chrissy and I are considering doing live shows, and we're considering starting in the state of Florida because it's close. I can drive there or we can fly there. Because Florida seems like the natural place where all the crazy people listening to the commercial break might be. You know what I'm saying? That's our time. That's our people. Exactly. Yeah. Why not? And I just wanted to share that with the audience because I'd like to know, if we come to Florida, if you're listening in Florida, if we come to Florida, or if you're in one of the close states, I mean, Illinois is not that far of a drive. I mean, if you're in Chicago, it's what, a 17, 18-hour drive?

No, it's close. You can make your way down there, $500 plane ticket? Come on, we won't reimburse you, but somebody might. Do it for research for your work or whatever. But if we were to- Go to a conference. Yeah. If we were to do Central Florida or Southern Florida, Southeast, Southwest Florida dates, would you show up? I'd just like to take a of the audience. If you could take the time out of your day today and just send us a text message and let us know if you would be interested in seeing us in Florida, specifically, because I think that's where we're going to... That's where it's like, it's like D- That's where it's been floated. Yeah, it's D-day. We're landing on Normandy in Florida. The shores. Yes. Ron DeSantis is our special guest. Without platform shoes, I'm going to make him wear a soft. But if you're in Florida and you think something that you might be interested in doing. We would love to hear from you because, quite frankly, I don't want to start selling tickets if I don't think anybody's going to show up. It's a scary adventure, huh?

It is. Sometimes you got to take chances.

Yeah, we've never had anybody pay. I mean, we have guests in here, but we're terrified when we show up. What are we going to do when we're out? No, actually, I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

I think so, too. I think we should spread our wings.

I've been thinking about a lot of good ideas, and here's one I came up with. You ready? I'll let the... By the way, these will not episodes of the commercial break. It will be a live stage show, and we're not going to air these or anything like that. You got to show up to the show if you want to see it. But one of the ideas that I had was, blackout drunk, forget to actually show up.

That's an option.

Or show up and nothing works. Like the equipment doesn't work, the lighting's all wonky, Brian's wearing no pants. What do you think?

You like the idea? I think it's a good start. I think we might need to tweak some things, but I think it's a good start.

Blackout drunk or Brian with no pants? All of it. Okay. What if I just forget to show up, but I'm wearing no pants when I'm still at the hotel?

We'll talk about it.

Okay, that sounds good. Listen, this is going to be an early show because Brian goes to bed at nine o'clock, so don't be thinking you're going to be doing the midnight showing of the commercial break. Anyway, dates in Florida. Would you come? Would you be interested in coming? We'd love to know. 212-433-3tcb. 212-433-8 4, 2, 1, 2, 4, 3, 3, 3, 8, 2, 2.

You confused everybody.

There's too many threes in there. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. Look at all those threes. It'll be easy to remember. It's not. It's hard. Anyway, text us. Let us know if you'd be interested in coming. We're going to be back. Today is Friday, and so that means you're going to get a video today, a video breakdown with Chrissy and I reviewing some '90s nostalgia and understanding how to value that '90s nostalgia. Out there. I like it. And how excited people got over some real crazy bullshit in the '90s, '80s and '90s. All right, we'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath, and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB, and you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail, and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course, Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast. Com. Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G And here they are.

Hey, podcast universe. I'm super excited to be talking about an old friend of mine, Jordan Harbinger, and his podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show. You know that Christie and I don't do a lot of talking about other podcasts, but The Jordan Harbinger Show definitely deserves a mention, and here's why. Imagine the serious version of the commercial break where you actually learn facts from actual experts and in-depth interviews. All the crazy, interesting, weird, and philosophical stuff that we find on the Commercial Break to have fun with. Jordan takes some of those same topics, and he applies a degree of serious journalism to it, and he is an excellent interviewer, maybe one of the best in the business, in my opinion. We know for a fact that a lot of people who listen to the Commercial Break also listen to the Jordan Harbinger show. So if you haven't yet taken a listen, go search the Jordan Harbinger podcast on Apple or wherever you get your podcast, or head over to his website, jordanharbinger. Com. That's H-A-R-B-N-N-N G-E-R. Jordan has been a longtime supporter of the show, and many people have written in and thanked me for turning them on to Jordan Harbinger, including one of our staff members who is like a Jordan Harbinger superfan.

And to quote her, Jordan Harbinger is like the commercial break with actual facts and a lot less laughing. We think you're going to love the Jordan Harbinger show, so go search on Apple wherever you find your podcasts or get started with those starter packs at jordanharbinger. Com. And we want to thank Jordan for being a supporter of the commercial break.

Well, on the break, I just saw the most interesting video. It is a guy who is milking semen from a moth. What? I don't know. I don't know. It was on Instagram, literally. I That guy milking semen from a moth because that's what you got to do when you're trying to grow extra moths. Who needs a moss? Why are you growing moss? What's up with that? What a weird profession to be in, huh? I'm a moth milker. That's what I do. I whack them off. I whack off their little dingling. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Your feed is very different than mine.

My feed is insane. And an Instagram knows me so well now that it shows me literal random videos from people, like videos that have one view or two view. And it's really strange people doing really strange things, and it's not hard to understand why they have so few views. But I mean, it is strange. There's this guy and he's talking about a doll and where he wants the doll to fart. It's like, and there's so many strange things. I heard you listening to that.

I was like, What is happening? Well, don't ask me either.

I don't know. Anyway, back- Moth milking. Yeah, moth milking. Back in the day, in the '90s, when we were kids, there was a lot of craze around and collectibles. It's still here today. It just takes on forms. It's always been around. People were collecting tulips at one point. It goes around, I collected Dick Tracy stuff. Now I'm currently on Pearl Jam posters that are completely worthless because they made one million of them and no one needs them. There's lots of stuff. If you're into something, then you collect it.

Stamps, baseball cards, the classics.

I tried to collect baseball cards. I got really into it for a year of my life. I was, I don't know, 10 or 11 years old. I didn't know the first fucking thing about baseball, but I was always buying those baseball cards, hoping that I would get a Mickey Mantle rookie. But I didn't understand baseball card collecting in any way, shape, or form. So I should have known that buying brand new tops cards was not going to yield a Mickey Mantle rookie. Then I would buy the Beckham books that had the pricing guide on them. And I was so excited when he think it was over a dollar fifty, I'd be like, look, this card is worth six dollars and 87 cents. You want to buy it? No one wanted to buy it. No one wanted to trade. They all had the same cards. And so I just gave up. Then my grandpa tried to get me into stamp collecting and coin collecting, and I just gave up. I was like, I don't see how this is going to me rich immediately, which is what I need. So then I just convinced my dad to buy get-rich real estate seminars.

He let me do it once. That's where Brian's brain was headed. I was like, how is this going to make me any money? Meanwhile, there's probably a Michael Jordan rookie card somewhere in that stack that I had. Do you still have them? No, God, no. I threw them away. I either threw them away or my mom threw them away. My mom got mad at me one time and threw all my collectibles away. She was like, Your closet's a You got to get rid of all this shit.

What is this? Baseball cards and Dick Tracy and Batman posters. I don't even know what's going.

I'm like, Mom, they're going to be worth something someday. No, they're not. Okay, I'll take your telephone or your collectibles. I was like, Take the collectibles. Who gives a shit? I want to talk to Chicks on the phone. I want to call a 1900 numbers, Mom. But back in the day, there was something called a Beanie Baby. They're still around today. Some of them are still collectible today. Some of them are worth a lot of money. Are they? I guess. That's what people say. I don't know. I mean, I've never had a Beanie Baby in my life. Maybe, randomly.

I think we had some when I was younger, but...

I feel like a clear channel. There were some people who had Beanie Babies on their desk. They did. Yeah. They did. Like, as if they were going to turn into Yeah.

Give them some good look. Some people would put them in the back of their cars.

Yeah, it was so weird. But hey, listen, there's a lot of weird stuff to collect, and I'm not here to bash on anybody. But at one point, Beanie Babies were a fucking craze. People were insane over them. They beat each other up at storefronts and selling fake Beanie Babies. It just got crazy. There was a whole television show dedicated to Beanie Baby. What I found online, there are little bits and pieces of this that are running around social media right now, but I found most of the video, is that even the home shopping networks would get in on the craze. They were selling packs of Beanie Babies that supposedly you could collect and they would make money. The moral of the story, kids, is that most Beanie Babies today are not even worth the cotton that's inside of them or the beans that are inside of them, because that's always the way it was going to be. There's too many of them. Everybody made them. There's not enough people that are interested in collecting Beanie Babies anymore. Only a few really rare ones, I think, are worth a lot of money. Now, I could be wrong.

I'll probably get a Beanie Baby collector texting us, telling us how much their collection is worth. But we've actually watched a video about a guy who opened up a Beanie Baby store, and he went bankrupt because he had 30 million Beanie Babies that he couldn't get rid of.

He was part of the Brian method, which was buy high, sell low.

That's right. And he still hasn't sold him. The video was really sad because he's divorced, his kids don't talk to him, and he's sitting in an old rickety house with a bunch of Beanie Babies around him. But listen, anybody can get caught up in this shit. Trust me, it's not that hard to do. But what I would like to do today is review one of the Home Shopping Network's Beanie Babies coverage or one of their segments with a guy who's really excited about selling Beanie Babies. You want to Yeah, let's do it. Without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do. Here's Home Shopping Network. I think this is from '93, and we've got one very excited salesperson. I'm a very excited salesperson. Let's take a listen.

I don't know how to begin on this, and I'm just going to tell you right now.

I make the best Beanie Adam ever, and we go to breakfast.

Especially, we're going to put this up, and Once you realize what all is in it, we're putting on music, Robert and I are gone for us tonight.

I literally have a man-sized Beanie Baby boner over what we've got in store.

These things literally sell themselves. If you don't get in on the ground floor of the Beanie Baby action, you're going to be behind. Sell your house, remortage the children, get you some Beanie Babies. Buy them right now. By the way, look at this set.

He's got a pile of Beanie Babies. Yeah, he's got 150 Beanie Babies.

It doesn't matter.

When something's that good and literally sells itself, that's how hot this is.

I'm going to tell you, it's SF 808.

I'm going to tell you.

He's putting his head in his hands.

I know. He is drunk and high as a kite.

You had to be to be on these shows.

Japanese foot massager, butterfly sweaters, Christmas pajamas. We have things, some things just sell themselves, guys.

People get addicted to this shop at home, this home shopping Network shit. They will literally buy anything that's on there. How do I know that? Because my mom is one of them.

For SF8084, SF8084.

This deal is so good that I could hardly wait to read the net tomorrow to hear what people have to say about it.

To read the what? Read the net. The internet.

The net.

He can't wait to get on the net.

That's how old this video is. This guy is drunk. I mean, he's drunk. He looks drunk.

We did. Folks, we We have literally, there are 28 Beanie Babies in here. When you consider retirement, they can literally pay for everything right now.

That's your retirement.

Cash in your 401k, kids.

There's a new man in charge. With what's happening with the retired price?

94-piece jumbo beanie set.

$1,999.95. $2,000. Holy shit. That is an insane amount of money to spend on Beanie Babies.

I can't tell you that. 94 different Beanie Babies. 94 different Beanie Babies.

It's about to stroke out.

God damn right, Chrisy. Never before have I been so excited about a baby-related Beanie pareter. I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to take a couple of minutes off and I'm just going to let it sell and sell.

$2,000.

Bitcoin, Beanie babies. Bitcoin.

We'll put with 14 new releases and with 28 retired. Or we could just put with 20- What happened to the music?

It was like they're playing it on a record player in the background. Someone just hit it.

Eight retired. Since the new releases are really no longer new releases. That means here's what you got, and we're going to do something special. Is this it?

Right there.

We're going to give you the $400 maple bear free in this package.

What? Look at that. No way.

The $400 maple bear?

That's right. Well, rub my scrundle sac and call me Ethel. This is insane. $400 for free? It's only $1,99.

We're going to give you the what? The Bethel bear for free?

Maple.

Oh, the maple bear, the Canadian bear.

We're going to give you the $400 maple bear free. So Basically, I want you to understand some folks, and we're going to go through everything you're going to get. You are going to get, guaranteed, do you know now? Because we're going to give you Princess and Aaron.

I see glory.

Glory's in here. Wait, wait.

I see glory. I'm picking out the ones in the crowd. This is insane how crazy people were about these things. I know.

Again, we haven't even gotten started yet, folks, so you got to understand what I'm getting ready to tell you. They're already selling.

I've got an entire eight ball sitting in my pocket. We aren't going off there until it's all done.

The problem, are you ready for this, folks? Now, here's the problem. Number one, we only have a few of these. I can rest assured. I'm looking at it right here.

Rest assured. Rest assured. Nothing says trust me like a guy high on cocaine and Budweiser. Rest assured. Yeah, the rest assured.

According to this, am I reading this right? We have 32? That's right. Folks, we're going to double check on that. We may only I believe that we may only have 32 of these.

These guys are the worst pitchmen in the history of Home Shopping Network.

They only have 32 of them. That's $64,000 those guys are about to make.

It's insane. I said, No, $640,000. Let me do the math, Rook. What am I thinking? $2,000, $34,000. No, $68,000. Yeah, they're right.

A retirement is coming up either September October first or October first. We've been hearing rumors all the way around the board.

Who are you hearing those rumors from? Who exactly?

From around the board.

Was there a TMZ on the net for Beanie Babies? There was.

They're going to retire them around the board.

Every single thing that retires. The only one that wouldn't retire would be... There's only one Beanie Baby that's not in here.

It currently has a hole in its bum. It's behind stage. It's a little slippery. I have been fucking these Beanie Babies for months, and I'm telling you what, Old Glory and Canada Bear, they're the best.

Must be being retired. That's Bretania, and it is not going to be retired. It's a current Beanie Baby from this year, and it's a $1,000 by itself, and it's not going to be retired.

So here's the deal. Oh, great. Nothing makes the prices rise. It's like making more of them.

When you're ready, you are going to get every single current American Beanie Baby release. That's 65- You're up to speed.

You're up to speed.Right.

There.like that.

65. That's a guy. Quick.

Get up to speed with the Beanie Baby. It's cool.

It was just like to jump in and be like, up to speed, just like that. Meanwhile, there's some grandma at home. Oh, yeah.

Hello, this is Judy from Toronto, and I need to get up to speed Just like that. I wasn't into Beanie Babies until this incredibly coked up man came on TV and started yelling at me. It's my new retirement. I cashed in my 401k, and now I'd like to buy all 32 of them.

I think they probably sold 32.

Yeah. Current Beanie Babies. Actually, that's wrong. We're going to throw in the maple that was only released in Canada. That's a $400 Beanie Baby.

We already talked about it.

He loves that maple. He loves that maple. He's looking at it sideways.

He's like, Can I mouth kiss you in a friendly way?

By itself. By itself. We sell them out at 399.95. By itself, right now, we are going to give you this one. Are you ready for this? That's 66 current beanie babies, including Maple Princess Aaron Peace.

Why is he so excited?

Oh, they're yelling. Oh, my God. There's another channel that does this, too, currently. It's that Cutlery Corner.

Oh, Cutlery Corner is crazy.

It's so crazy.

They sell their lives. Yeah, I've seen Instagram posts of people just going crazy over Cutlery Corner. Oh my God.

Yeah.

Glory, glory, Glory, Glory, Holy hole.

He's so excited. I love it.

Every currently fortune, Rocket the Blue Jay, all the 14 new releases, all the 14, Why is the Ow, which you know is going to be retired.

But anyway, Drake the Ducks, what is it? Stinger of the Scorpion.

I'm impressed that he knows all these.

I am, too.

Like as he's just looking at them.

This guy reeks of desperation. He's got 32. Let's see, he's got about 32,000 Beanie Babies he needs to get rid of. Yeah, quick.

Yeah.

Eater early the Robin, Coo Coo, the Coo-Coo, Whisper the Deer, Curse Master.

He should have his own.

Yeah, he should.

The Vested Hand, The Golden Retriever, all the 14 new releases, Jabber the Perk, plus every current Beanie Baby that there is in America, every single current Beanie Baby in America. Then Again, here's the part that is unreal. Folks, here's another. We're going to pay for this in two-unreal seconds.

Here comes the drop. The '65 merch drop. Current.

When you put in Maple, '66 current, you're over it. Maple.

We're going to give you all 28 of a May retired Beady Babies. He's like a Wwe, anouncer. What are you going to do when Caca the Cockatoo comes down on you?

Are you going to be in on this? You're to be out of this. We're going to give you all 40,000 Beady Babies for nothing. I'm broke as a joke. Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now.

Unbelievable.

I'll throw that at 599, is that right?

Originally, we sold it out one time at 599. Today, we would have to sell 28 May retires for around $1,699.

God, the money in these things was crazy at one point.

Unbelievable. They There are literally shitty little stuffed animals with beans that can kill your child in the middle of them. Even Blue agrees. It's not fun. It's not funny.

On almost everybody around 600, though, didn't we?

The first time we did.

The first time we did it, we sold them out at 600. We could sell 1 billion of them at 600.

You said Maple at 400. Maple at 400. Those days of the 100.

One billion? One billion.

One billion. I think that's overestimating. Even during the craze, how many people really wanted Beanie Babies. Yeah, Maple. By the way, Maple is a bear that looks like every other Beanie Baby with a tiny little Canadian flag on its chest.

14 at 799.

We sold the 14 new releases at 799.

And the 28 retires at 599. You are getting everybody else- It's 599.

That's $600. No, it's 599.

Okay, that's 28 and 14, 42, 43, 4, 5, 6. You're getting almost 50 Beanie's absolutely free.

Absolutely free.

Absolutely free.

Here's the thing.

They're not absolutely free.

You're paying $2,000 for them. Why do they keep on saying free? It's not free.

You have to pay 1999, '95.

This is how they get you. Grandma at home thinks, Oh, my God, they're giving all these for free.

I just have to pay the $2,000. I get all these for free?

You break it down $21.27. I'm ahead of you.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm feeling ill.

I can't believe we're giving these away at such a discount.

It's incredible.

All right, let's do this. Let's take a break, and then we'll be back with more Hot Beanie Baby action, including Garth Master, the new drop coming up soon.

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us @thecommercialbreak, and then follow us on TikTok @tcbpodcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3-tcb. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content, call and leave us a message at 212-433-3-tcb. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast. Com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the Commercial Break.

All right, back with more Beanie Baby craziness. This is hard to believe that people would pay $2,000 for 90 of these little toys that you can buy for a dollar 99 at any fucking gas station.

Think about this. Send them in. Think about this right now.

$21 a piece. I want you to think about this. When you're thinking about your retirement down on the beach in a beautiful condo in Florida, drinking Tittarines all day long with your best friend smoking a cigar. What goes better with all those things than 94 Beanie Babies surrounding you in lawn chairs years because you will not be able to sell them.

I know. I'm wondering, thinking about how many people were stuck with all these Beanie Babies. All of them. They were going to keep going up in price, and then all of a sudden the bubble burst.

Everybody. Everybody got stuck with their Beanie Babies when the 2000s rolled around because no one gave a shot. No one gave a shot in the first place. What happened was people got it in their heads that these things, the ones that they didn't make a lot of, were all of a sudden going to be so... There was going to be such an insane market value in these things.

And there were for some people that actually sold them.

I just read that there's a Beanie Baby, the Princess Diana Beanie Baby.

Oh, yeah, that one's the most rare.

Yeah, it's still worth about 50 grand in pristine condition. Yeah. 50 grand. That's great. But guess what all of these are worth? Shit. They're worth shit.

I don't know how much maple is now.

You could buy 94 of these for 180 bucks. Just go to a gas station, buy the whole rack of them. You see them, they're spin around, the kids like them. Just buy the rack, put it in the back of your car, and maybe someday they'll be worth something.

You're getting 28 retired Beanie Babies. Listen to this.

Blue needs to be a Beanie Baby. Oh, God.

I wish Blue was a Beanie Baby. She'd be a lot less annoying.

I'm sure I've got them all right. Zip the cat is now bringing over $100. They didn't just retire in May. Zip the cat over $100. You got peanut the elephant, pincher's the lobs to one of the original nine.

One of the original nine pincher I mean, this grown man.

Yeah, I know. I was thinking about that, too, how hard it must have been for him to get so excited about these.

No, either that or he is so invested because he might be the guy who actually owns these things, right? He's so invested. He has to convince you to also get invested and buy them at a profit, or he's going to be stuck with them. And this is how the craziness starts. Grandma turns on TV or whoever turns on TV, sees this guy all excited about him and says, Hey, it must be a good investment. This guy's crazed over them.

Floppity. Wee the lady bug. A squeler the pig, another one of the original names.

Squeeler the pig.

That's good old Squeeler. I wish I had a Squeeler.

Ranging $70 and $80. In fact, almost all 28 of the retired bring a minimum of $50 a peak.

Snip, Snort, Spike. They're running on the top. They're running a Crawler.

The name of the Beanie Babies for sale. And then smoochy, snipp, snort, spike, snort.

I think he accidentally put that one in there. I think snort is the host. I think that's what he does. Snip. Spike, Spinner, Spunky, Stinky, spunky. Spunky? Really? It's like a sperm-shaped beady baby.

Minimum. If you want to save bet, one guy that's going to retire in here for sure, and I can't see him right now is Chocolate the Moose. He's the only one in the original nine that's still current.

Here he is. He's gone in October. I'll tell you something else, too. Snort the Bull, going to be gone. Snort.

Snort the Bull. Snort is going to be gone. No more snorts. Snorts out of the table. If you don't get your hands on a snort right now, you are literally missing out on a chance to make millions, yay, billions of dollars. I know people right now retired in Mexico because they bought Snort three years ago. Take Snort to your bank. Tell them you need to take out a loan on Snort. Up to a million dollars of credit right there.

That's what I'm saying to you.

Anything they retire in October, you've got. You know what? You've got it.

We're forgetting. We're making moot points. It doesn't matter. They're going to do a retirement either September, October. Rumor has it they're going to retire. I've heard this, that there's a possibility that something could happen September first with the princess bear.

What is this guy doing with his life? He's literally trolling the net to look for rumors about what's going to be retired because clearly, once they're retired, then they shoot up millions of dollars in value, each one of them. He knows it. First of all, I think it's highly disingenuous to be speculating like this about what's going to happen. You know what I'm saying? He's like, Artificial inflating the value right there, live on TV.

That's how you sell.

Yeah, exactly. Second of all, what does it matter if they retire Snart the Bull? Is he really going to raise in value? They just said one of them retired nine months ago, and he's up $100 in value. $100.

I'm going to look it up.

We're hearing that everywhere. Do you know if that retires?

Yeah, let's see what Snort the Bull. You see what Snort the Bull, and I'm going to see- You see maple. Okay, I'll see what maple. Maple, the Beanie, Baby, worth, value. Holy shit. Are we wrong? Well, we are so eating crow right now. God damn, this guy was right. He was way Stripe.

Well, how much is Mabel worth?

There is one going on Etsy right now. Used. Are you ready for this? It's already been opened, but it comes back in the box. So the box has been torn open, but they put it back in the box. It is being sold for $14,000. But that's not even the best of it.

Oh, well, listen to Snort.

Tell me how much Snort is worth.

You're going to freak out.

No way.

$49,500.

No, no, no, no, no fucking way.

Yeah, that's a rare one.

$50,000. Yes.

The other one is 18, too. I mean, I'm shocked.

I will never make fun of this guy again.

I'm shocked.

Where is he? I need him to be my investment advisor.

I need a good accountant.

What in the fuck?

I can't even believe it.

Chrissy, that maple in brand new condition is worth $30,000. $30,000. Let's see the other ones. There's some names up there. Squeaker. Let's see what Squeaker is worth. Squeaker, the Beanie, Baby, value.

No, no, no, no. $15,000. $1,000 used. $15. Where are my Beanie Babies?

The original nine. Those are the most valuable ones that he's talking about on there. Damn it, Brian.

Oh, my God.

Well, here we are making fun of it.

Yeah, there's a phone number on the bottom. You think it's still live? You think I could still get it on the deal? Original nine Beanie Babies. Value. Oh, my God.

Princess the Bear is right up there. Valentino. I just saw that one. This was a good set to get. Patty- That would have paid back itself just from one of them.

Just one of them would have paid back eight times. 800x. I am. 8x. I'm sorry, not 800X. 8x.

Patty the Paladipus, one of the original nine, used on Etsy right now selling from a five-star seller for $25,000.

Now, I sound like this guy. This is unbelievable. Okay, that's it. This show is now called The Beanie Break. Anybody got any beanies they want to sell? I'll take a commission. We can talk about them on air. This is insane. Now, let's see.

No, but the crazy thing is that the Walmart is selling Snorther Bear for $8.49. However- But it's not an original. But yeah, the original, the one on Etsy from a five-star seller, again, it's $49,500.

Oh, my God, Chrissy.

Because I guess there was some error. This is on Etsy.

Oh, my God. You want to know what the Dick Tracy collectible figurines are going for? What? $67 for all 14. Well, here's one, 195 for one particular one.

Not the one you had.

$300 for all of the cards, which I did have. A vintage Dick-trick. Yeah, see, here There I was. I worked at McDonald's when they were giving away Beanie Babies, when they were putting them into the McDonald's Happy Meals, the Beanie Babies, and I thought, and people would go fucking crazy.

Oh, yeah. No, they would swore and be out there camping out.

The rule was you could not just buy a toy. That was out of... They changed that at some point. But with the Beanie Babies, you could not just outright buy the toy. You had to buy the Happy Meal, the whole thing. There were grown-ass men and women who would come into that store buy 20 hamburger Happy Meals and literally throw away the box, or not the box, but anything that was inside of the box- Just grab the toy. And just grab the Beanie Baby. That was it. I thought, What a bunch of fucking losers. Now. Yeah. Meanwhile, I have a closet full of Dick Tracy stuff worth $165 total, and one of these Beanie Babies is worth $50,000. Yeah. What the fuck was I thinking? I am so bad at it. I just need to stay on the commercial break.

The keen sense of business acumen.

I have no sense of business acumen. Everything I have done has literally turned to poopoo, and everything I haven't done has literally turned to gold. Altcoin, Bitcoin was the only thing that I got right. Then I got out when it dropped because I said, That's it. I got out right before it dropped. I was like, That's it. Never getting into it again. Clearly a scam. Now it's higher than it ever was before. Had I stayed in, I would have been twice as rich. Unbelievable, Brian. You're an idiot. You're such an idiot. Maybe we ought to buy NFTs because I have personally said for a long time NFTs- Maybe we should.

Nfts are low right now.

Nfts are very low. They're like I thought Beanie Babies were, like a dollar. We should just go buying up large swaths- We should. If we had any money. We should get someone to loan us money so we can buy a large swaths of NFTs. That's it. Done deal.

That bear alone will cover the price of everything.

Well, he's correct.

Yeah.un Unbelievable.We'll cover the price of everything.

August 31st, the day that we lost her, that's when this bear was literally born. So remember Excel. That's right.

Literally born.

Okay, now you're taking it too far, bro. It's not born. It's sewed together. In some shop in China.

I believe that the word... That's what's going to happen on the Princess Bear, or they're going to make a whole new one.

The Princess Bear, that's one of the ones that's the very, very...

The Princess Die Bear, specifically. Find out what- That's what says Princess Bear. I thought I saw $50,000, but now I'm believing that it might be Princess Die Beanie Babyworth. Oh, my God. $50,000 used. . $50,000 used. Well, now I don't feel so great about this video because now I feel like I'm trying to have fun with something that clearly worked out in everybody's favor, including this guy.

Yeah, he had to have Just on his set right now, he's probably got a million dollars worth of Beanie Babies.

He's got the original nine. He's got the Princess. He's got the Canada one, each of which is worth tens of thousands of dollars. There's a hundred there. He's got to have a million dollars worth of bears sitting on that table right now. Yeah.

$21 a piece. Would you not pay $21 for every one of the new releases?

Yes, I would. Send them to me.

Give them to me now.

We sold them out at 799. I know it. 21 times trust, 240.

What's 21 Oh, man.

$250. How many of us could have sold at $250?

We don't have enough. We couldn't buy them. They don't make enough. They don't make enough. Do you... Maple's $400.

Maples, $40,000, bro. Let me take you into the future. I would happily pay $400 for a maple right now.

I am so in on Bibi Babies. I'm going to start collecting immediately. Immediately.

If you call right now, you're guaranteed the Maple Bear every time you order. You are guaranteed the Maple Bear every time.

Yeah, it's all these original ones that are really worth the money.

Wow. Unbelievable. God damn, were we wrong about this? So wrong about it. I saw the Princess Di one, and I saw that it was 50,000. But I also knew from other videos I had watched that it was the rare one, the very rare one.

You are guaranteed 94 different Beanie Babies in the best part of it.

He's correct. You could have retired.

You could I'm not retired. If you were 50 or 40 at the time when this came out and you kept these long enough, you would have a million dollars in your pocket right now. You would be able to retire, and a nice retirement at that. I don't have $10 in my retirement account. Still is. But if I only had Beanie babies in my safe, because I'm sure I had some somewhere, not me specifically, but they were in the house somewhere. God damn, Brian. Such an idiot. Such a moron. This is going to make me go to sleep feeling even worse about myself. Honestly, I need an extra therapy appointment after this episode.

No matter what retires, you got it. You got it. It doesn't matter.

At 21:00-Probably for two or three retirements, you've got.

For the next three retirements, you have every single Katie, maybe that retires. You look at it right there. Look at what just happened. Someone just is verifying on five sets. You want to know something? If you could afford it, buy it.

I don't know how to- They spent $10,000.

Oh, my God. So this guy spent $10,000 and they're worth $5 million right now. Find me that guy. We need to buddy up to him because clearly he knows what the fuck is going on, and we have no goddamn clue. This is insane. Can you believe it? I cannot. I cannot believe it either. It is literally beyond my comprehension how some stuffed little pieces of cloth are worth $50,000 a piece. But I ain't arguing how you get your bag. I'm really happy for anybody that has these, can you please call up donate some to the commercial break because we would love to all of a sudden get into Beanie Baby collecting. The Beanie break will be back tomorrow with more information. Well, on Wednesday, but you get what I'm saying.

The thing about it, though, is if you buy, say I spent $50,000 on that one Beanie Baby that's selling on Etsy, then how would you resell? You would just want it for your own personal collection. I don't know. I don't know. My mind is My mind is blown.

My mind is blown. Unbelievable. Crazy. All right, go check out Leslie Leal. I'm just like, beyond myself. I'm in a different universe right now. I can't even think. I'm just thinking about all the opportunities I missed to grab Beanie Babies at McDonald's and gas stations and everywhere around the world. I could have been rich. Rich, bitch. I'm rich, bitch. All right, thanks to Leslie the Owl from coming on the show this week. Please, please, please check her out on her Netflix special. Go to If you want tickets to her current tour, give her some support, show her some love. She's all over the place. Like every guest that shows up on our show, she's going to turn hot directly after she shows up on our show. And then next week, a very special episode is the commercial break as we drive into Bachelor Nation. Bachelor Nation, Chrissy.

Bachelor Nation.

Bachelor Nation. You want to know why? Why? Because I think... Oh, no, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that right now. I'll say that at a different time. Next week, we have a great guest, too. I'm not going to say it quite yet, but just know that at some point we're venturing into Bachelor Nation, and you're going to be really happy with who we've chosen to ease us into Bachelor Nation. Okay, I'd also like you to go to tcbpodcast. Com. All the information is there. The video, the audio, more about Chrissy and I. Get your free TCB bumper sticker by going to the website. Hit the Contact Us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address, and send it right to you. 212-433-3tcb. That's 212-433-3TCB. Dial us up. Let us know if you want to go to the Florida shows. If you're interested in seeing some shows in Central and South Florida, we're thinking about it. We just want to know if you'd be interested in coming. Also, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. If you want to be on the show, dial us up, send us a text.

At the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak for all the interviews and selected episodes. All right, Christie, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

I'll say best to you.

Best to you, Beanie.

Best to you, Beanie Baby collectors out there. Until next time, Christie and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

I get ass.