Our story is the story of two guys who start at the bottom. It was a lot of hard work. Continue along the bottom, and finally end up at the bottom. Oh, yeah. That's an intriguing scenario. Yes. A rags to rags story. Yeah, imagine it. Yeah. Did you see the one about the guys who started at the bottom, stayed at the bottom, and at the end, they were still at the bottom? Yes. That's our life. So inspirational. Who'd go and see that? I think I'd see that. I'd go and see that. More realistic it on this episode of the commercial break.

Don't run your life around.

Don't run your life around kale. I dated a girl who literally ran her life around kale. I was in a kale cold for three months. I was. I was like, kale? Does it have Kale in it? Can I have eggs? Substitute the eggs with kale. I'd like some kale. Bacon. And I'll take some kale. Wheat toast. Do you have any kale? Hot sauce? Kale. That's the only thing that works. The next episode of the commercial break starts. Yeah. Catholicins. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, and this is the titular trustee of the commercial break, Kristen Joy. Holy. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you out there in the podcast. Yeah, I'm going insane in my head about a story that I read that's kind of blowing up on the Internet. Insane in the membrane insane in the brain insane in the brain. Where did those guys go? Cypress Hill was so awesome.

I watched a documentary about them. What happened a little while back. They're still around.

They're still around. They're still doing their thing.

Still doing their thing. Yeah.

I saw an interview with 311. I was never the biggest 311.

I used to love some 311.

I loved a couple of their songs, but I wasn't into everything. But I had friends that were into anything. How to get the good bucket, remember what the songs were. But I was watching an interview with 311. It made me think of Cypress Hill.

Yeah.

And I know they're not the same, but it's just like they were grouped in my mind into this same type of band where I liked a lot of Cypress Hill, but not all of everything Cypress Hill had to offer. But when you were fucking high, there was nothing like some cypress fucking hill. Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, who else? Pink Floyd. Of course. You go back to the classics, Pink Floyd and all that stuff. But if you listen to Cypress Hill while you're fucking, just know where everything is slow and you're like, I hope I'm talking outside. Do you ever been so stoned you just don't know if you're saying things outside your own body? Ever been that stoned?

I think a long time ago.

It was a long time ago for me, too. Or maybe it was just, like, three weeks ago. Total panic attack.

Yeah. When I was first starting to smoke weed.

Oh, God, that raggy ass dirt weed that I was smoking. But you smoked enough of it. Like, if you're taking six foot glass bong.

Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah. The gladiator. It's Milky, bro. It's milky. Be careful. And then I would be like. I'd be saying words in my head, but then people would be looking at me like, what?

And I have visions of doing that in people's first apartment with not great furniture, not great carpet.

Like the old futon. Yeah. Blood stains on the carpet.

Could be.

It smells like a yeast infection. I do remember when the beer pong table was the only furniture in the place.

Exactly.

Old raggedy ass tv. But they had $500 glass bong, right? A collection of them.

Yes, of course.

So if you listen to some cypress fucking hill while you are owned, like, milky, milky stoned, you just go into another place. Because they have those weird vocal overlays that make you just.

Brain.

They were serious about what they did.

They loved it. I like the sub ciphers. Come on the show, boys. We'll talk to you about it. Anyway, watching an interview with 311, and, man, does that guitar player. I don't know what his name is. He looks perma stoned. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, he's got those huge bags under his eyes, and that just might be the way that his face is. And that make him fun of the way the guy looks. I'm just saying, he looks permastoned. His eyes are barely open. They're barely open. And they were talking about the Grateful Dead, and he had a guitar in his hand, and there was two. The singer and one of the guitarists was talking to this interviewer. Stereo gum or something like that. The singer is not as stoned, probably. He's trying to answer the questions. And the guitar player is just like. He's just noodling around. Yeah. The entire time. And I was like, shut up. Shut up, me at every party I ever went to, but I only know two chords, so there you go. Yeah. This story is making me incensed. Speaking of stoned people. This story is making me incensed.

I can't even believe it. I don't know what we've come to in this country, in this world.

Oh, yeah. It's already the point of no return.

No return for me. Yeah.

I'm surprised by nothing.

I'm surprised by nothing. Surprised by nothing. Our institutions are not institutions anymore. It's insane. But anyway, there's less gravity to this. But just equally as fucked up that wendy's is now charging. Did you hear about this?

I did see that. I want to make sure that it's a digital board.

Yes.

Right.

Well, listen to this.

The pricing, that's, like, not surge pricing.

It's surge pricing. That's what it is. It's surge pricing.

That's what they came out and they were like, no, we're out.

Wow, Bob. And marketing really fucked up. And we have fired bug. No, it's surge. Well, they call it whatever they call it, but it's surge.

Dynamic.

Dynamic pricing. Yes, please. I hear the word dynamic used one more time in the incorrect way. Dynamic is, like, super fantastic. This is how you explain your newest girlfriend. She's dynamic. She's lovely, and she's empathetic, and she's warm and she's caring, and she gives great heads. She's dynamic. Dynamic. Give me a blowjob. Okay, here it is. We'll read this from Fortune magazine. Wendy's insists it's trial with dynamic pricing is all about prices going down at times and has no plans for surge pricing like Uber or Lyft. If I ever heard a bullshit fucking corporate response to anything.

I know. And how I thought about this when I was reading the article, and I was like, how? Well, nobody's going to check them.

No.

If you're going to Wendy's, you're overcharging me. No. You're already in the line. You're hungry and you chose Wendy's, which I don't do, but I won't do it anymore anyways. Yeah. That's just what you have to choose from. And you're going there. You're not going to check it.

I go to Wendy's twice a year, and I get that fucking baconator Jr. Which I think is a good sandwich. Their fries, like the sea salt special fries.

Fries are good.

They're okay. They're better than the old fries they used to have, which were clearly frozen weird french fries. But, I mean, I guess they're all frozen weird french fries. But listen to me. Listen to me. Wendy's. You're not the king of the castle here. There's a lot of other great choices for everybody to go to. Okay. And I know that you might be slipping a little bit, but having surge or dynamic pricing, whatever corporate speak you want to put onto it, is bullshit. When's the last time most people checked the prices of the hamburger? In the morning and in the nighttime when there's a little bit more traffic? Which person on earth stoned to the gourd? Just looking for some sea salt french fries and a baconator Jr. Not naming names. Brian Green. Which asshole checks pricing? You're trying to get away with something here, and they figured it out, and now you're. Slowly you're doing the.

Friends.

I thought we were friends. I thought we were friends. I. Trust me, I know you. You're such a good customer.

Do anything wrong?

I didn't do a damn thing wrong. These fucking ceos, we don't think of them as customers. We think of them as teammates, friends, clients, even. How we trust them, they trust us. It's the way the world works. Why do you think we'd be trying to make money off the backs of people who clearly have a budget to attend to? Don't do it. Trust me. Dynamic pricing is best for everybody. It's going to bring prices way down at 03:00 in the morning and prices way up at 06:00 p.m. When most people eat. Don't worry about it. Trust me. Assholes. Listen here. Brian's got something to say about this. Don't fuck around. Fuck around and find out on this one. Fuck around and find out. I guarantee you're going to lose more customers because no one wants to be fucking dicked around. People eat the cows, and people eat at the same time around the world. It's something that happens. So you know exactly what the fuck you're doing. Yeah, okay. Maybe the stoner at 01:00 in the morning is going to get a dollar off his fucking baconator Jr. But then you're charging families and people who just need, want, or have to have a cheap, fast meal.

You're charging them more money. It's like the goddamn little person always pays. They always pay. It's the people that don't have good credit because they don't have enough money to have good credit because they had a couple of late bill, trust me, I know this one. And hear me out on this. The people who can least afford it always pay more. The people who can least afford it always pay more. They get fucked first because it's like, oh, well, fuck them. They don't have good credit. Fuck them. They don't make enough money so we'll charge them an extra dollar because they're risky. Start charging the assholes who can pay for it an extra dollar. How about this? How about surge pricing? Depending on what kind of credit card you use, if you use a chime credit card, you get a dollar off. If you use an american express platinum card, you get a dollar more. How's that for dynamic pricing? That's fucking dynamic. I am sick of it. It's so fucking awful. And Wendy's is trying to screw the people who can least afford it, and it's goddamn highway robbery, Chrissy. Not to mention, I like my baconator Jr.

Once or twice a year, and I do not want to pay an extra dollar for it. You want to know why? Because my chime credit card does not have enough money on it, that's why. Think I'm kidding? Fuck around and find out.

I'd love to fuck around and find out. I was listening to something the other day, and the person, was it the commercial break?

I don't listen to that so much. Chrissy goes, not so much.

I like to check out other podcasts and see what everybody else.

Chrissy will call me up, and she's like, I love this episode that we did. And I'll be like, which one? And she's like, the one. Shamalama ding dong. And I'll be like, that's episode number three.

I know.

I'm just getting around to it. 2024 point.

We were trying to go back through our catalog. Remember how we divided it up for some reason? What were you doing? Because you were like, take one. Take one through 25.

I think we were trying to find clips for like a promo or something like that. Yeah, I just decided to. Yeah, I just decided to randomly.

That's when I was listening to things for the first time. But I was listening to something else the other day, and they said I fucked around and found out.

Yeah, I like that terminology.

I do, too.

Yeah, I like to tell Astrid, fuck me and find out. And she's like, I did, and it's not that interesting. So you married a gringo. Astrid was sharing with me a couple of days ago that she's got some friends, hispanic friends, latina women that she's know hanging around with because she's latina and they could speak the mother tongue and all that other good stuff. And she was saying that some of the ladies, sometimes the attitudes from different countries that men take toward women are different. Right? And so she was sharing with me.

That Middle east case in.

Yes, yes. When you don't let women drive. It's a different attitude, but there can be, like, small differences. Like, it's not, like, totally oppressive, but there just can be different hereditary attitudes that are taken. It's cultural. It's not something that someone's necessarily a bad person. It's just what they learned. It's what they know, because it's been eons and eons of what they know. I don't want to get into all the drama. What I want to share is that she was saying, I'm really glad that I married you because I find you to be a really nice guy, weak minded individual, a really nice guy who's easily, thanks, Chrissy. I really appreciate that. She goes, but, you know, you're a really nice guy and you don't carry some of these same attitudes and things that she goes, and I wonder if.

That'S, like, now you're very women forward.

Oh, I'm girl. Girl power all the way. Well, I've got two of them. Three of them. Four of them, actually, if you count blue, I've got four of them. And they're constantly rolling over me. And I just want to make them happy. That's all I really want to do. And like I told, by the way, Hannah Burner coming up on Tuesday. We had a wonderful interview with her. She's so good. So that'll be out on Tuesday. Episode 480 is going to be Hannah Burner. So if you like Hannah, tune in. It was a great time with Hannah. And so I was sharing with Hannah. She's like, well, I like older men because they've been trained already. They've been knocked around a little bit, and they know which. And I shared with her that I know which hill to die on now. And it's none of them. You don't die on any of them, guys. Women are human beings, too. They can have opinions and all this other stuff. But she was sharing this with me, and it made me feel so very good about myself for, like, 1 second.

Because were some of the other people that she was talking to they didn't have nice guys, maybe?

No, they have nice guys. There's just different attitudes. Yeah, there's different attitudes and moods towards certain things. And I forget what we were talking about and why we were talking about it, but I thought I'd share that. Wendy's. Wendy's. I don't even know. You were talking about the podcast that.

You were listening to the fuck around and find out.

Fuck around and find out. So anyway, so I shared with Astrid I said, well, thank God that I've got that in my corner, because my latin lover, bona fides, have not been bona or fied. It's a true story. I don't have a bona or a know, you know how it works, guys. I don't have to tell you because I do know that there is, while there may be more machismo in some cultures, right. That they're also known as really good lovers.

Oh, right.

And I think part of that is because they think of their dick Chakra instead of their. Whatever chakra. They walk into the room with their.

Oh, my God.

With their mortal Kombat dick energy.

What is his name?

Yon Yon. Poor Yon. Yon just fell apart right there.

The one we were reviewing the other.

Day, he just fell apart on the stage. It just all came unglued.

He's like, I was going to just wing it. And now I don't know what he was talking.

And listen to the yesterday's episode because we're talking about Yan, who we've reviewed before, and I had to get into more of it, but this guy is basically a pickup artist. He's speaking at a place called the 21 Expo or 21 convention, which is for, like, pickup art. Why is it called 21 Expo? I have no idea. But he's speaking, he gets up there and he says, I really have nothing prepared. And then he takes the next 13 minutes to talk about his life's failure, his best accomplishment, and the biggest failure, which is I took ten years to write a book that I didn't sell one copy of.

I picked it up in three.

You know, Yan has that dick energy, that kind of, you know, Astrid got the good end of the stick in one sense, but she didn't get the good end of the literal stick in the other sense. But I do have three children, so I guess it proves that at least I had an orgasm three times.

Something was working.

Poor Astrid. But back to Wendy's. Fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out. Can you believe this? It's such a shitty thing to do. If you were going to say, like, I'm dropping all the menu prices by 25%. Yeah, every bit, every item is by 25%. If you come in between these hours and these hours. And those hours were decently relative hours, and then you said, but during the peak demand time, we're going to set the regular prices because we need more labor, we need more people cooking. We have these reasons to do this, but on the off hours that are reasonable yeah. Not three in the fucking morning. Then we're going to give you a discount to encourage you to come a little bit earlier or a little bit later to even out our labor costs and even out make sure that we have a little bit of a flow then that I can understand. And if you explained it like that, I think people would be apt to understand. But by just keeping the regular prices and then raising them because you need an extra cook back there makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

And it's just a dumb, dumb move. This episode is sponsored in part by Wendy's.

I was thinking that earlier. I was like, hopefully Wendy's is an advertiser.

You know, here's the crazy part. Not you and I, but on an episode. I'm just going to share this on an episode I spent with the co host that was there at the time, not going to mention who it was.

Okay.

But I spent about 30 minutes with this person shit talking a particular brand. Right. Because we were not happy with what they were into, what they were doing. And we felt like it was a little predatory. Like consumer predatory. Not like predatory predatory.

Right.

Consumer predatory. So we spent 30 minutes that exact same day. Later on that night, they asked me a sponsor on that show, and I was like, yeah, I'm a slut for money.

Sure.

Fuck Wendy's and their dynamic pricing. Brian shit talking a sponsor. He later, then sponsors. Yeah, baby. Because that's how my mind works. Because I'm using chime.

Chime?

Chime. You know, chime.

I don't know, chime.

Oh, chime is one of those build.

Your credit kind of like preloaded cards or something. Okay.

I think what you do is you get put $500 in a bank, they extend you $500 in credit, they report back to the credit agencies, and then that builds your credit. Now, that's for people who are building their credit. What do people do who have already ruined their credit? I don't know. A. Can I build my credit back up? Is that possible?

It takes a long time.

It does take a long time. So for the foreseeable future, we'll be doing commercial break episodes. Just going to let you know that.

Based on Brian's current credit score.

All right, more shenanigans to come. Let's take a break. We'll be back.

I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break, and then follow us on TikTok at TCb podcast.

Done.

Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us? Hello, at 212433 tcb. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story or anything, really. We're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212433 tcb. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break.

I love Christina saying on that. We're desperate for content.

We're desperate for content. And people do. By the way, thanks, everybody, for the kind words about Astrid, Christina, and Tina while they were here, while you were out. And then thanks, everybody, for the kind words about the interviews. A lot of people liked the Brad Williams interview. A lot of people did. And I see Brad all over the place. He's on a bunch of different other podcasts.

He was going on a crazy tour, too.

Yeah, well, I mean, I think that's why he's doing a lot of the podcasts. Get the word out, you know, very popular, a lot of likes on his posts. And then I should mention this. Our good friend Blair Saki is on Theo Vaughn this week.

Wow.

So make sure you go check out Theo. If you enjoyed the blair being on our show, then you'll enjoy it twice as much on Theo's show because he actually has a good podcast. So go ahead and take a listen. But Blair's awesome, and we love Blair. And go do that. And then a lot of people had great things.

I've looked at all of our interviews.

Yeah, so far so good. And then Reggie. Reggie Watts was wonderful. When all else fails, talk about mushrooms, talk drugs.

Find a common denominator.

But we really enjoyed Reggie, and so did a lot of people. And they were very interesting.

He's very interesting.

He is one of a fucking kind, that guy. I wish I had half the mind.

His book is really good, too.

Yeah, you got to check it out. You got to check it out. And I think there is a link on our show notes to buy his book on Amazon, I think. So go and do that. So anyway, thank you to everybody who has written in. You know the phone number? We just gave it to you, for fucking God's sakes. Go back, press rewind 15 seconds three times and you'll be back there. Okay. All right. Okay. Here's another weird story that I wanted to share with everybody. And I don't know how popular the story is or how many people have heard it, but there's a hardcore band called Lalorna. Have you heard this? One Lalorna, hardcore singer accused of dosing bandmate with estrogen in attempt to steal his fiance.

What?

Chrissy, this is the most whacked out fucking shit I have ever. Okay, I'm going to stop using the pejoratives. Not everything's my favorite. Not everything's the best. This is one of the more wacky stories I have heard in 2024. But the election hasn't happened yet, so I'll wait.

Estrogen? How.

I know. Where the fuck do you get estrogen? And then people were saying in the comments of some of these posts that I saw about this that you can get estrogen, like, over the counter. And I didn't know that. I didn't know you could get estrogen right over the counter or like an estrogen producing chemical or something like that. I had no idea.

There's products out there that I've seen that are targeting that market.

Yeah.

And it's for, like, I mean, dosing.

Someone I know dosing somebody with menopause. So listen to the story and then we'll chat about it. Ready? A small time hardcore band has shot to viral fame over a bizarre gender bending tale, one that involves a singer supposedly dosing his bandmates with estrogen in an effort to steal his fiance. The band Lalorna shared the story on its Instagram page, claiming that the vocalist, Diego, attempted to force a transition on his supposed pal by giving him pre workout drinks laced with the female hormone estrogen. The vocalist's goal, according to the post, was to make himself look more manly compared to his love rival so that Diego could swoop in. The band's post called it a stupid caveman mindset. That makes zero sense. You want me to read the post to you?

Yeah.

This is a post from Lalorna, the band. We have decided to part ways with our vocalist, Diego due to an admission of a very disturbing and concerning behavior toward one of our band members and their partner. He has admitted to being obsessed with said partner and has been attempting to sabotage their relationship by cutting pre workout drinks. He frequently gifts from his job with high amounts of estrogen. Fucking insane.

Pre workout drinks.

Yeah, first of all. But I didn't know. I'm thinking of most, like, hardcore metal bands, and I'm not seeing them at the gym. You know what I'm saying? I see a lot of different types of the gym, but I just don't see generally hardcore metalheads in there. But, I mean, I'm not saying that metalheads don't work out.

No.

I'm just saying, it's not like the whole band's going in there to work out, are they really? And taking pre workout drinks that are made from one of your bandmates. I'm sorry, I don't even trust a drink made by Astrid. I check that shit. I tell my kid to taste it first. I'm like, hey, taste this first. I've seen too many lifetime movies. And I say, hey, son, take a couple of sips of that and wait 15 minutes. And if he falls over, then I know that we probably don't need to drink that drink and call the ambulance.

Good practice.

He has been attempting to force a transition onto him for the last five months in the hopes that it would give him more opportunity to swoop in once he looks stronger and more manly in comparison to the fiance. Stupid caveman mindset.

Zero sense he's playing the long game.

Certainly fucking was. I mean, dude, whip out your dick or something and say, come with me. I don't know. Is there a better way to. You know what I'm saying?

You just pull a Fleetwood Mac.

Yeah, pull a Fleetwood Mac. They were swapping partners all over the place. They made some of the best music ever. Doing that, too. Go watch it. Go listen to rumors. It's literally an album made about how many times they cheated on each other with each other. And it's one of the best albums ever made. Yeah, because, you know, even if you don't know the story, you still feel it.

You can feel the emotion.

This tampering has caused confusion and thousands of dollars in medical bills the past months trying to figure out what's going on. We would not know of any of these issues unless Diego himself had gotten way too intoxicated and ousted himself and then stated an admission to all of us via text. There are many more disgusting details that have been left out for the sake of privacy and general censorship.

More disgusting details. Whoa.

That is wild. What's going on out there, kids? Tinder has fucked you up. Hinge has made life unbearable for you.

Unhinged.

I know, like, there's not another girl in the world you could possibly be attracted to. You have to try and poison your bandmate with estrogen. Not cyanide, not some, like, sleeping flower, some kind of shit where you are literally playing the very, very long game. How long do you think you would have to put estrogen in someone's drink? I mean, obviously it made him sick enough to have to go to the doctor, but, I mean, to turn into an actual woman or start growing breasts or. I don't know. That would take years, I would imagine. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that would take some length of time. And then to bet on the fact that the girl was going to be more attracted to you. Yeah, like the tits ain't doing it for me. So I'm going to Diego. Yeah. First of all, Diego done. Stay away from the Diego's. It's like Brian, Brian and Diego. Stay away from them. They're nothing but trouble. Remember that other Carmen? San Diego no one could find. Right?

Her.

Her. Sorry. Is it. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego no one could find her. Stay away from her.

Wow, that's a bizarre. They. Where are they from?

Here in the United States?

No, I know. I didn't know where.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Probably Florida. But I'm just taking a guess. I don't really know. Yeah, first of all, where do you get estrogen?

Well, I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, so I guess you probably, if people really do want to transition, you can get it from the doctor. But how was he getting a hold of it there? Like a black market?

Yeah, it says that he was getting it from his work where he. Yeah, where he often gets these free drinks and then. So I don't know where he's working. Like a GNC or something. I'm not sure. None of this fits the profile. None of this fits the stereotype that I'm thinking about for metalheads. I'm sorry. I work at GNC and sprouts on the weekend.

Sprouts on the weekend?

Yeah, it's strange.

I will kill you. Just one moment to pause the concert. Who wants a kale smoothie? Anybody? Okay.

Yeah.

I killed your mother and now you die. Who wants Chia seeds in their breakfast?

I mean, I'm kind of stuck on the other disgusting details now.

I'm just wondering why Diego's working at GNC. Yeah, all of this is highly disturbing. All of it is highly disturbing. But you really have to be obsessed with someone to take it this far.

Yeah, hatch that plan.

Yeah, to hatch that plant and then.

Just go through with it for five, six months.

And then to send a text message admitting that you're doing it.

Yeah, screw him. You know what I've been doing? Guess what I've been doing? You're never going to guess.

You're never going to guess what I've been doing.

I've been feeding your lady Estradan.

I have only one time in my entire life been with somebody who is with somebody else. You know what I'm saying? And I didn't do that on purpose. I didn't realize that she had a boyfriend. I thought she was single. I didn't realize she had a boyfriend. But I have certainly, at times, been attracted to other people's partners. That's not an uncommon thing to happen, I don't think. But I managed to keep my. Managed to keep my horse in my barn.

Yeah. For me, there's like a wall.

Total wall.

Yeah, me, too.

It's like, okay, she's hot, right? But I'm not. So let's move on.

It's just a door you don't go through.

Yeah, keep the horse in the stable. Leave it alone. There's plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. I just used three different animal acronyms. Analogies. I think you have to be really kind of disturbed to do something like this. No pun intended, but I think you have to.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Speaking of Cypress Hill, whatever happened to disturbed? I do think you have to be kind of disturbed to do something like this. And it's such a long term play. And you're betting on so many things happening. Like, is he going to be more like a she after five to ten, to twelve to 30 years? I don't know. And then is the fiance then going to be attracted to me. Because I happen to look more manly or act more manly, sound more manly, whatever it is. There's a lot of different circumstances that have to happen. I mean, why don't you just profess your love for the girl?

Right? Like Eric Clapton.

Like Eric Clapton.

We're talking about famous.

Yeah, Leila. And then let the chips fall as they may. Or go to your bandmate, your brother in arms. Go to him and say, listen, I have a real problem right now. Your fiance is really turning me on all the time. I'm super attracted to her. Like, obsessed with her. And I don't know how to handle this. So can you give me a chance for a couple of weeks and we'll see how it all works out? I don't know. Anything is. Yeah, I'm going to hit the gym real quick.

Going to be at sprouts by three.

There are other ways to approach this. That at least would be kind of more on the nose, a little bit more honest. Than putting estrogen in pre workout drinks. It's very strange. Have you ever done anything. Take out the cheating part of it, right? Have you ever done anything crazy to woo a man? That stuff that you would normally not do?

No, I don't think so.

No, you're very tame. I wish I was like you. I wish I could say the same thing. I'm trying to think if I've ever done anything like that.

Yeah. I mean, after talking about this in comparison.

Oh, no, everything's same in comparison. This has got to be the ultimate play for another man's woman. The ultimate play for a partner's partner. This is just insane to me. And he's in your band, dude. I know that bands are notoriously rocky and fussy, and they break up all the time. The drummer never makes.

You've got that connection, but you have.

That musical connection, and you're trying to do something, like, for the common good. I imagine that even though most people say it, I do it for the art. That is true. But everybody, I think, deep down, wants some kind of success and recognition, right? So you guys are, like, working toward a common goal, right? And the best thing you got is throwing out this note, this text message that says, one bandmate tried to poison the other one with just now. It's never happening. First of all, you guys probably aren't bandmates anymore. I got to imagine Diego's out of the well.

They kicked him out.

Yeah, they kicked him out. Yeah. Diego's gone. And Diego, you've ruined it. You've totally, completely busted it, and now you.

I feel like there might be some kind of criminal case here.

I gotta imagine that putting anything in somebody's drink that alters their chemical makeup is poisoning. Even though it may not kill you, it is changing your chemistry, and that is a terrible thing to have happen when you are not aware of it. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

My mom watches all those lifetime movies, and every one of them includes somebody poisoning somebody slowly. You know what I'm saying? A child, a partner.

What's the one that's on headline news all the time? I get stuck watching it sometimes, too. It's the one where it's all about murders.

Is that, like, criminal files or something like that? Something. Murder files, criminal cold case files.

Yeah, there's a lot of poisoning that happens there.

There is a lot of poisoning that goes on, but it's a different kind of poisoning that always made me crazed about the Munchausen syndrome, too. Munchausen by proxy, which is when a mother, typically a mother. I guess it could be a father, too. But I think it's, like, by definition, a mother who makes their child sick in order to get attention for themselves. So what makes me crazed about that is not only is it just, like, a terrible thing to have happen to a child, but that the long, slow making somebody sick in an effort to gain attention is a mental illness of epic proportions. And this seems pretty similar to that, right? Is that I'm going to make you sick over a long period of time to change who you are so that the person that you're in love with doesn't love you anymore.

Scary that my sprouts checkout guy could be the person.

Don't go to GNC with the metalhead behind the. I'm telling you right now. Listen, I've been to a lot of GNCs because I was in a workout phase for a moment. I was in a workout phase for, like, two years of my life. And I'll never forget after I got divorced. Oh, right, yeah. And one time I showed up at your pool and I didn't have a six pack, but I had, like, almost a four pack, but I had that little, like, you know, that little thing down at the stomach that points the victory v. I had, like, a little tiny one. Yeah. And I'll never forget that. Rachel comes up to me and she's like, wow, Brian, you are looking hot. Look at that little victory v you got. Look at you. And I'll never be more proud of my physical self than I was that day.

Nice.

And then I started on cream and cereal, and it's all been downhill since then. Children, this commercial break, stress Covid there's no victory v. It's more like a victory p. It looks more like a p. If you look at me sideways, it's like a zoop. A lowercase d. I got a lowercase d, but I went to a few of those gncs.

Oh, yeah. I think everybody's probably been to.

Yeah. And I'm not stereotyping, but the typical would be a Guy who's a girl who looked very in shape, right? They were like, you trusted that they knew what they were talking about. And did they ever. I would go in there and I would be in a world of confusion, right? I'd be like, there's whey protein, high whey protein, organic whey. Know, this, that, the other thing. So I remember I went in one time to this GNC, and there was a guy, he was stacked. Chrissy. He was like a brick house, right? Nicest guy, nicest dude. And he had this really high voice, right? He was like, hey, how you doing, GNC? Can I help you? And I was like, oh, that doesn't fit the body, but okay. And I'm like, yeah, I'm looking for a little workout supplement, something that gives me a little energy for the workout. I'm not looking to bulk up, I'm looking to cut, not bulk. I was using some terms because I was googling it. Cut and bulk and all that other stuff. Great, brother. I got some shit I could show you. Listen, what you need is you need a t omega, and then you need PlP, and then you need TTT, and then you need seven, seven seven to create your patent.

And then you would have to do creatine. And you're up there, down there. I left there with $500 worth of supplements.

You have to, when you leave there.

I did $500 worth of supplements and I joined some membership, 30 day membership. And then I was part of the cut club. And then I had to get the app and then I downloaded it. Yeah, I still to this day, in that fucking cabinet in the kitchen, have some of that fucking grape sitting there. Still to this day.

You might want to throw that out.

I would put it on my cereal, shredded wheat. Nothing but shredded wheat. Not the frosted shredded wheat, the kind your grandma would eat, right? And I'd put two of those big old shredded wheats, the ones that are like the size of a morning turd. I'd put those things in a bowl. I'd put a little bit of milk, water, and then I'd put some powder on top of it. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever had in my entire life. And for like three months, I'd be like crunching away. I'd eat it. And then I just lost a bunch of weight real quick. Yeah, a bunch of weight.

One way to do it.

And I'll never forget that guy who sold me $500 worth of supplements, $380 of which is still in my cabinet to this day. It's ten years expired. Yeah, but man, he knew what he was talking about. Nicest guy, nicest dude in the world. Nicest dude in the world. But I never in my life have I walked into a GNC or any of those supplement stores and seen like an emo dude, you know what I'm saying? Like his hair half over one of his eyes, right? Hey, how you doing?

Cigarettes?

I'm depressed. How are you? I'm good. I'm looking to cut, not bulk. Aren't we all looking to cut? I'm looking to cut out of life. Sorry, brother, I think I came into the wrong. I work at sprouts at four. Come see me, I'll sell you some kale. Just read an article that Kale is a bunch of bullshit. Do you know this?

What?

Kale. Kale. You know, the fucking thing. Kale. They have whole stores like kale me mama and kale me this and kale me that. And there's, like, kale fruities and kale smoothies. Kale is a garnish that pizza hut used to use on their buffets.

Somebody decided that Kale is very healthy, though.

Don't spread misinformation, because it's actually not. It has a bunch of heavy metals in it, and it doesn't give you a lot of stuff. Read about Kale. I did some research after I saw a post, because I was like, this cannot be true. Because for three months, I had a girl that I dated, and she would literally paid $100 a week, and they would make you these kale smoothies for the day, and then you'd have to go pick them up fresh in the morning, and then you drink them in the after. They were the nastiest taste and things I've ever had. But I did it with her because I wanted to have babies with her. And then I did that with her, and I didn't feel any different, really, I didn't. I guess I felt like the placebo effect. Spinach is great. Spinach is great. But then I saw this, and I'm like, that cannot be true. That cannot be true. That Kale is just, like, a bunch of roughage, and it just doesn't do anything for your body. And then I did a little research, and I found that there are legitimate scientists out there who are like, kale is not going to do anything for you.

Sure, eat some, have to have it. But don't run your life around Kale. So, I'm sorry. This episode is sponsored by Kale me now. The smoothie place.

Don't run your life around.

Don't run your life around Kale. I dated a girl who literally ran her life around Kale. I was in a kale cold for three months. I was. I was like, kale? Does it have Kale in it? Can I have eggs? Substitute the eggs with Kale. I'd like some kale. Bacon. And I'll take some kale. Wheat toast. Do you have any kale? Hot sauce? Kale. That's the only thing that works. And guess what? She was wrong, and I was wrong. But I guess I didn't die. So I guess that's okay. Yeah, that's good news. To whom? To whom is that good news? The world okay. Thank you to blue, who I keep alive. All right, we'll be back.

Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212433 TCB. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year. Of course. Anyway, you can also find and dm us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now, I'm going to thank g one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.

Okay, and we're back. So, have you been watching the latest love is blind?

No.

God damn it, Chrissy. What are we going to talk about now? Okay, well, that's the end of the show. Thanks, everybody.

I haven't, but why don't you fill me in? You have been filling me in. Anyways, I've been kind of giving you.

The top line of it. So, spoiler alert, just in case anybody has not watched the first eight episodes of Love is blind, I'm about to talk about it.

I mean, I think if you're a love is blind fan, you've watched it.

Oh, yeah. And I am a love is blind fan. I got to tell you, I think this is an ultra fascinating premise. And I think human nature just unfolds in weird ways in those pods. Also, I think that there are people that are certainly looking for celebrity status.

Of course, on any of these shows.

Yeah. And I think after the first season, you've got to. And maybe even in the first season, but in the next season, to follow in the second season of any popular reality show, like dating show or any of these things, you have to factor in that there are celebrity wannabes that are coming on that have the only intention in getting married or proposing to somebody or getting proposed to is so that they can get some moniker of fame. Because most of those people do at least see their 15 minutes of fame, especially if they end up going all the way the distance.

Right.

So in this latest season of love is blind, an interesting thing has been happening that I have not seen in other seasons or not seen so much in other seasons, or maybe they're just not showing it as much in the first, whatever it is, four seasons, love is blind. This season has a lot of people talking about how they look. Right. Which is kind of defeats. The fucking purpose of love is blind. You're supposed to be in a pod where you don't see the other person for a period of time. I think it's 14 days. They have to date each other in these pods or whatever where you just.

Get to know the other person.

It's all about personality, their likes, dislikes.

Faith, all of that stuff.

Yeah, everything. A lot like how Astrid and I met. We had almost two months of just conversation. Very. I mean, we had pictures on Facebook and stuff like that. So it's not. Wasn't totally blind, but we got to know each other's personality through conversations that we had on Whatsapp or text message or whatever. This love is blind experiment, quote unquote reality show experiment. I love when they call it that. The reality show is supposed to be about nothing. It's supposed to be about everything. But the looks.

Yes.

But in this particular season, they seem to be showing. A lot of the couples are talking about looks inside. Describe me. Describe you. Are you big? Are you small? Are you short? Are you tall? Are you fat? Are you. Whatever. And there's one particular couple that. So let me try and explain this. The guy's name is Jimmy, and he's falling in love with two separate women right in the pods. That's his Jimmy. Old Jimmy. And Jimmy's got this deep voice. Jimmy's got one of those. I got big balls. Know the kind where the physiology just takes over like something in your brain goes, oh, that's a man's man, right? My name is Jimmy. The big, bald Jimmy. Huge testicle Jimmy Big Johnson. Jimmy Big Johnson. Jimmy jacked up Jimmy. The kind of guy you find working at a GNC.

Hi, it's nice to meet you. My name is Jimmy. I'm just here adjusting my testicles. They're so big, they put an extra.

Table in here for my testicles.

Gonna need a booth.

Yeah, I'm gonna need a booth, but I'm gonna need a booth. They just showed Jimmy with his nuts hanging on. An otoman.

It's nice to meet you. My name is Jimmy.

You see two guys bring in like a forklift, just lift his balls up and put it on the otoman.

Thanks, guys. I'll take it from here.

So Jimmy falls in love with these two women, and it's not hard to understand why these two women fall for Jimmy. Jimmy's a nice guy. He's pleasant to speak.

What does he actually look like?

Well, I can show you a picture.

The audience.

This defeats the purpose of the experiment, Chris.

Well, you just talked about he's got the voice he does have where you think what he looks like.

Well, okay, everyone google it. We'll all google it at the same time if you haven't seen the show. Jimmy love is blind. Okay, here we go. Images.

Is he big, bald Jimmy? Is he big Johnson?

According to the girl that he has now proposed to, at least in the show, big, bald Jimmy does have big balls. Okay, that's him, and that's the girl that he felt that he ended up going away. Okay, so Jimmy falls in love with these two girls. Now, I want to explain to you that one of the. I'm saying this from Brian's point of view. Now look. Yeah, that's my. Looks terrible. Oh, sometimes I do that. It's terrible. I don't know why I do it. Look like Don Johnson in the episode of Miami Vibes.

Everything old is new again.

Yeah. Everything old is new is good. Okay, that's Jimmy and the girl that he proposed to. Okay, now I'm going to show you Jimmy and the girl that he fell. The other girl he fell in love with.

Okay?

Okay, so now you've got the comparison there, right? Okay, so this is from Brian's point of view. I am not going to disparage how somebody looks, but this is from my point of view. There's one girl that he is falling in love with that is a princess, for sure. She's, like, got a very princess attitude. She's very sure of herself. She's very cock sure. She tells Jimmy from the moment that she makes the decision, which is early on, you are my one. I am talking to nobody else. This is it. This is the girl that I'm talking about.

That is kind of that he ended up with.

No, the other. Um. So she tells Jimmy right off the bat, you're my one. You're my it. The other girl who he is falling in love with, who he ends up proposing to, is also in a love triangle. Okay, got it, Jessica. And so, because you date a bunch of people, so now you've got, like, a five way triangle going on here.

Okay, the girl. One girl is falling in love with another guy besides Jimmy, and then Jimmy's falling in love with two girls.

Yes. So something like that. So the one girl who he ends up proposing to, whose name I just want to make sure I get this right, because they both have. So Chelsea, the girl that he ends up proposing to Chelsea, at some point in the conversation, I think understanding that she has a little bit of competition, because now, remember, they all go back to this. The sex pods. And what I mean by the gender pods, right? The girls go to the girls, the boys go to the boys. They all go back, and they can start talking about who they're falling in love with. But some play a game and don't say anything about anybody because they don't want other people to know who they're falling in love with. But I think Chelsea understanding, or Jessica understanding that she has a little bit of competition. Chelsea, understanding that she's got a little bit of competition. Chelsea starts goading Jimmy into a conversation about how she looks. And Jimmy says, well, that kind of defeats the purpose of love, is vine. And she, you know, you're know. And he goes, but what do you look like? And she says, well, I'm not going to tell you what I look like, but I'll tell you who.

I always get compared. Always. People always tell me I look like a certain celebrity. And he's like, oh, you got to tell me. And she plays coy for a minute. No, that's not the point of the experiment. Blah, blah, blah, knowing damn well she's going to tell him anyway. And then he says, you have to tell me. You got to tell me now. Now. You already said it. You got to tell me. And she goes, well, I can't remember her name, but it's the girlfriend.

I can't remember her name.

Of course she remembers the name. If you look like a celebrity and people tell you look like a celebrity, you know exactly who that fucking person is. And she says, it's the girlfriend of MGK machine gun Kelly. Megan Fox. Right? Now, when I. Yes.

And Jimmy Johnson just went, bing. Really?

Ed, I have it. He lights up like a Christmas tree, right? And he's. Yes. He's making these motions in the background.

One part of her that looks like.

If there's just one part of her that looks like Megan Fox, I'm in. Now, she says that some people might say, because she has brown hair or dark hair, dark eyes, that she does have some resemblance to Megan Fox. I do not see it at. And. But it's very possible, I guess, that she has been told this by other people out there in the world, right? Oh, my gosh. You look like Megan Fox.

Might be like her face.

Maybe you're right about, like, I'm trying to look for the angle throughout the show, and I don't see it. Astrid says sometimes she's like, but I think if you look hard enough, we all look like somebody, right? Like, I think I look like Megan Fox in some wonderful. With my irish ass and my.

Sometimes you wear like a chain link.

I do mesh, yes. With my hair. You can't see my nipples because my hair is covering it. But it's like a jaw dropping moment where I think for everybody in the audience, we're. What? No, like, that's not true because it becomes a viral sensation. Now everybody is talking about how this girl clearly does not look like Megan Fox. Some people are misrepresenting herself. And it's the fucking Internet. So, of course, a lot of people are very mean about it. And I'm not here to be mean about it. I'm here just to share that I don't think she looks like Megan Fox. However, the girl that he did not date, the girl who said, jimmy, you're my number one from the beginning, I think she more resembles Megan Fox than the other girl. So now we're up to episode number eight. We're up to episode number eight yet. So we don't know what the conclusion is, but when they get introduced to each other because he proposed that he proposed. When they get introduced to each other, Jimmy is in a cutaway and he, you know, she didn't lie to me about one thing. She doesn't look like.

And then. Is this the fucking Juan and these boys again over here? I swear to God, really?

Honestly, mowing the dirt.

They were just here two days ago. They're mowing the dirt at my house again. This is fucking insane. This derails the show every fucking time. I don't know why I hire these guys. They're fired. What are we doing, guys?

What did you say last time? You were like, are you charging me?

Yes, I said, are you charging me every time you show up? That's right. It's just monthly. Why are you wasting your gas to come here and mow the dirt? There's no grass outside. It's the middle of Winter. The leaves have fallen. There's no grass. Nothing needs cutting or cleaning. It looks immaculate out there. What are you doing? This is bad business. This is bad business. I got to talk to Juan. I got to talk to Juan. I got to go out front and talk to Juan. So she obviously does not look like machine gun Kelly now.

Megan fox.

Megan Fox. We got me all screwed. Juan. So there obviously is no resemblance between Megan Fox and this girl. Or to most people there's no resemblance. So the Internet goes fucking crazy. So much so that this girl has to write Megan Fox and apologize to her for all of the scrum that she has caused around Megan Fox. Like, she was like, I'm sorry, I should never have said that. Whatever. Please forgive me. I think it's just like to me it's a little bit, did Megan Fox get involved? No, but Megan's fox sister did. And Megan Fox'sister replied to her apology and said, hey, listen, I got, you know, I see it. I got you. Which was very sweet of Megan Fox's sister. Very sweet. Megan Fox has so far not chimed in because I think Megan Fox even goes, you don't look, what are you fucking talking about? You don't look anything like, oh, yeah, she's a superstar. She is a bona fide superstar. I don't know why, I don't know what she's done lately, but it's okay. She's married. Machine gun Kelly, so machine Gun Kelly, this leads me to this next conversation about machine gun Kelly.

Did you see the tattoo that he got? Yes, the black.

No, I didn't see it, but I read about it.

Okay. He got a tattoo from neck down halfway to his belly of just black ink, all the way down his arms, all the way over his shoulders, over his chest, right down to his almost belly button of just black ink. Literally looks like someone spilled ink on him and it didn't get cleaned up, which is just insane. I don't know. I mean, I'm not a tattoo guy so I don't want to cast aspersions, but that seems to me to be one of the dumber things to get tattooed on your body.

Well, I read something about it, covered up some of the ones that he had, but I didn't realize it was just all black ink.

It's all black ink.

He's going to get like color on top of that. He's trying to start fresh.

Yeah, maybe, I don't know. Yeah, maybe. All right. Dogs barking, shit in the background. I don't know what we're doing.

We're fighting for our lives.

We're fighting for our lives. We're just trying to do a show here. This is why you tune in, isn't it? The ADHD nature of Chrissy and Brian and wand apparently too. This is insane. I swear to God, it's insane. How many times have I talked to this guy about this? A hundred? At this point. I don't know. I guess he just doesn't have the message.

I'm not sure if they're going to do it. You said not to come during certain hours?

Yeah. Please, man. Well, okay. It's a commercial break. What are you going to do? We're still the big little show that never could I give up. Two forward, one back, two forward, four backwards. We're not making any progress. We still got Juan interrupting the show. This is why we need a professional studio up in some high rise somewhere where things don't bother us.

Let's do it.

But of course, we did a whole interview with Hannah, and she had, like, construction going on in her apartment. She did the noisiest interview of the commercial break. Yeah, she was. And it was nice of her to come, so I'm not complaining at all. All right. What you do is you go to tCbpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video right there at one location. You also find out more about the show. If you'd like to request Juan stop mowing my lawn during the show. You can hit the contact us button, get your free piggy fronting sticker and have Juan sign it. Yeah, he's in more episodes than I am, I think. Free piggy fronting sticker. Just give us your address. We'll send it off to you. We love you. We'd love to send it. If you would like to text the show. Do you have any questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? If you would like us to. I don't know, whatever it is, whatever your request is. We're like genies. Just rub the text messages and out. Our wish will come. 212433 TCB. That's 212433 TCB, toll free from anywhere in the world. Text messages, voicemails.

We'll take them all at the commercial break on Instagram, TCBpodcast, on TikTok, and YouTube.com. The commercial break. All right, Chrissy, that's definitely all I'm going to do from right now until I talk to Juan.

I think so.

All right. But I love you.

I love you, too.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time you cut your grass, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.