I said that it was globes everywhere, there's propaganda. But it's the truth. And you know how many people who don't believe in flat Earth, they believe that we're in a solar system, they reach out to me. They're like, Candice, you know what? You're right. I have been looking in stores and there are globes everywhere. They're globe toys, and there's globes in the decoration. And you said that on your show, and people thought you were crazy, but it's true. Why are they pushing the globes? And I said, well, I think it's because of NASA, I want to spend billions of dollars a month. But they tried to say that I'm crazy because I said that, and they still go on my social media and my comments, and they say, Are you seeing globes everywhere, Candice? Are you seeing globes? I'm like, Yes, I am. On this episode of the Commercial Break. Now, I've got some words of wisdom for you. If you'd like to hear those, $299 plus $99 cents, you can call TCB, ask TCB 3, and get my message of the day. And then don't forget to join my Everglades Retreat, the Everglades Retreat.

The Everglades Pean-Eye Retreat. I want you to sleep in this bag, and if you hear something poking around in the middle of the night, it's the Peni. You're being healed. You're being healed. That's it. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kitts. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, and this is the girl with all the Riz, Chris and Joey Hootley. Best of you, Chris. Best of you, Brian. I'm best of you out there on the podcast universe. I'm trying to sound happy and cool with the kids. So I say Riz. I got Riz. Oh, yeah, you got Riz. Which I thought meant something totally different than it actually means. I thought like a Rizl-drizel. And I was wrong about that. It means charisma. I know. Charisma. You got to keep up with all the comings and goings of the world, Chrissy. If you're going to be a noted podcast host, I just learned that SmartList will be moving over to SiriusXM. I saw that. For $100 million.

Up next. Yes.

Up next. The commercial break. Up next, the commercial break. We moved for a dollar fifty in a song. That's okay because we were making 50 cents in a song, and so we decided to move to the place with a dollar fifty in the song.

We up the ante.

Yes, we did. The podcast universe is in flux, and we're all moving from here to there, and it just goes to show that not even at the top are the waters calm and still. That's right. Even at the top, the boats are rustling around, jockeying for position, if you will. But don't worry, this podcast will still be going on forever. We're contractually obligated to do 2,640 more shows of this in January alone. It's January 28. There you go. Now we're going to get it done. I have no idea. I went to take the... Kids were getting restless, so I took them over the weekend. I took them to this place called the Adventure Air. Adventure. Adventure Air. Adventure Air, which is like an indoor play place. Sounds like it. Despite the name of the place, it's not like a trampoline park. Trampoline parks are incredibly dangerous for your own children, but we still take them all the time. I don't know why because we've had at least one child. I love this It's broken a bone doing that. I love them, too, but we're adults, and so we can control the way our body flies and how we land, most of the time anyway.

We go to this place, Adventure Air, and I got to tell you, I really had such a grand time at this place. Not only do they have a lot of fun things for the children to do, but then the adults can get involved, too. They don't care if you also... They have slides and zip lines, and you land on air inflated things and foam pits and all stuff. They have a floor that's just small trampolines, so you bounce from one trampoline to the other, hoping that you miss the crisscross grid pattern that is cement, basically, so you smack yourself down. I have a hard time even doing that.

I'm sure this place is sanitized.

Totally sanitized. Totally sanitized. Yes, peep-peep-poopoo. Yes, because I look across the room and there's one toddler wearing nothing but a diaper, green snot. He's basically slurping it up. His green snot, and he's got shit running down his leg. His mom's dragging him around by one arm, and I'm like, You need a fishing license, but when it comes to parenting, don't worry about it. You're good. Whoever, whenever. I cannot believe the way. I mean, as a parent, and not a very good one, and one that I'm still learning because my kids are very young, but you notice something sometimes, and it's hard not to judge exactly what's going on in that situation. You're like, Wow, that is completely the opposite of what I would do. Now, I'm not saying parenting is not easy, and there's lots of different ways to get it done. My dad had proved, you can just ignore the kids, basically, and hopefully, they'll turn out okay. Yeah, dad, I'm a podcaster making no money. How are things going?

Thanks for that.

Yeah, thanks for that. But then there are just clear-cut instances where you know that that's just bad parenting altogether. Like dragging your kid across the floor, wearing nothing but a diaper, shit and rolling down his leg and snot. He's just eating it for breakfast. It's disgusting.

He's flying through on the zip line, just shitting.

He was just like, he's doing this whole number? And then there's this climbing wall that the kids can climb, this electronic climb. It's hard to describe. Anyway, he just keeps on putting his hands inside these little climbing cups. They're not actual rocks. They're like inserts and you grab them and they're plastic, so they have more durability. He just keeps wiping his nose and putting it in there. Just wiping his nose and putting it in there. So one of the things that they have, the big in the center- I just felt like a sickness coming on from talking about it.

Yes.

Just thinking about it.

Yes.

And that's why it doesn't matter how hard you try to clean your house, to clean your children, to keep them from touching things out in the world. It doesn't matter because they are going to get sick, and they are going to get sick very, very often. There is There has not been 50... I mean, we have 50 people living in this household, plus one obnoxious dog. There has not been 50 healthy people at one time in this house since we started having children. It just hasn't happened. Someone's always got some version of something. I'm such a germaphobe, but you just have to get over it. You have to be like, Okay, whatever. You got to get in there and get your hands dirty. Someone just had a blowout. Okay. The other day, my wife's like, You check and see if the baby had a blowout. Well, I can smell the had to blow out a mile away. I know what that means. It means you want me to change the diaper. That's torture for me because I get physically ill when I see poop. I cannot take it. I just can't take it. I can do the blood gushing out of the head all day long.

I was okay there. The shit is not for me. But I go to check the diaper, and you got to be careful because sometimes when you stick your hand in the diaper, you're just sticking your hand in a pile of poop is what you're doing. How many times has that happened? So many. But now, Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she shit herself. She also shit me. In addition to herself, she also shit me.

That's affirmative.

Yeah, that's affirmative. You want to smell? Because I could. A mile down the street.

Check and see if the baby had a blow.

I know what that means. It means go change her. That's what it means. It means, where have you been all day? Could you go pay attention to our children for one Yes. Okay. All right. I get it. I got to just follow up on that story. I go to change her, and now she's at the point where she's got her own free will. You know what I'm saying? She's not just like a lump of lard sitting there. You just grab their legs, wipe their butt, throw the diaper back on and get it done with. Now they have their own free will, and she just thinks it's hilarious to wiggle and rise and grab down there when you're trying to change her. Half the time, the shit just ends up all over her hand, all over you, down on the floor. It's just a whole fucking... How can you not get sick? How can you not be ill all the time? In the middle of this adventure, Airplace, have you ever seen the show, and I know you have, Wipe Out?

Yes. Such a funny show.

Such a funny show.

I have a love-hate with those types of shows. Why? Jackass was definitely an extreme version of those types of things. But I have a love-hate because I don't like to see people get hurt.

Well, and Jackass and on Wipeout, they're all volunteering to do this. It's not like someone's coming across and hitting you across the head with a baseball bat, unbeknownst to you. I just love it. I think it's so funny because I love how people because their bodies are flailing around and they're making jokes about it. They have the funny noise as a sound effect. It's like the commercial break. In Wipeout, in the second round, they have, whatever they call it, the term coordinator. The stick, they're all standing on a podium.

Don't they have the water, too, that circulate, or the lava, whatever it's supposed to be?

Yeah, that's the end of it. But imagine there are five lilypads, two stories in the air, 15 feet up in the air, whatever it is. Then they have this big swinging arm. There's a pole in the middle and then a big swinging arm, and you have to jump over the pole as it sweeps around you. Can you duck? You can duck, you can jump. You can do it however you have to get it done. You get it done.

Could you just lay there?

You could, but they started putting three different heights of them. So you have to jump, duck, cover, jump, duck, cover, jump, duck, cover. But it goes faster and faster until everyone's off. And the last one standing, obviously, wins. Well, they have a kid's version of this in this place. It's on a big air mat, blow up air mattress. Imagine a huge blow up air mattress, three, four feet in the air. And then they have two arms, one down low, one up high. And it goes around relatively slowly. So up, down, jump, duck, jump, duck, jump, duck. I could not stop laughing because there was one child, and I refuse to say whether that was my child or not. It was one child. He's young. He's not got the hang of all of his facilities yet, right? No. He's trying his best to process what's coming at him, but he just can't always get it right. Sometimes he jumps and he gets his legs taken out from under him and he falls on his face, but it's on an air mattress, so okay, right? Sometimes he ducks, but he ducks a little too slow and he gets hit in the head, right?

Chrissy. He loved it.

Here's a parent over there laughing.

I could not stop laughing. He loved it. For 30 straight minutes, I watched as this kid just got repeatedly pounded in the head by this thing, swinging around and just hitting him in the head. Hitting him in the head. He'd try and duck and hit him in the head. He'd try and get up and hit him in the back. He'd try and jump, the other one would come at him in the face. His body was It was just flying all over the place. He thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. It was the best thing in the world. I thought to myself, certainly my child now has brain damage because of this, because he just got repeatedly hit the head. But I'm like, What am I going to do? The kids are having fun. Everybody's laughing.

Yeah.

Some kids play football at this age. My kid tries to do the wipeout game. Eventually, at one point, he had it all to himself, but then other kids started in there. Well, he got smart at one point and just decided if he could outrun it, then it would never get him because it's going to going slow. If he could just run in a circle, he could win. But he was taking the kids out along the way. He'd jump from one- Shoving. Well, he was not shoving necessarily, but he'd jump up on their lily pad. They'd get off their feet. Then bounce them off. Then both of them would fall and hit each other. Other parents were getting upset. They were like, You can't do that. I'm like, We're in the Where are the rules? For three-year-olds. Where are the rules for three-year-olds? You can't do that. What do you mean you can't do that? Try and tell a three-year-old to stay still for more than two minutes.

Right, in a place like that.

I think this place was awesome. I thought to myself, this is like commercial break Christmas party material right here. We should come here. Zip lines, slides. They had one slide. Have you seen those images of the big water slides in Texas and other places where you slide, I don't know, 100 feet? Like, straight down? On an oiled piece of plastic, and then it has a lip at the end, and you just go flying in the air, do twists and jumps or whatever. That looks like so much fun to me. But I know that it's probably terrifyingly terrifying because I hate heights, and so I probably wouldn't even want to look down.

You would like cross your arms.

If I could get myself to the point where I could actually go, I think it would be fun. But I also know that it probably hurts when you land incorrectly on that one. It's like landing on cement. They You have one of those slides, but you go off into an air mattress, and the slide is not small. It's also not crazy big, but it's not small. Some of these kids, some of the larger kids, were getting some real air because they had some weight going down there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, there was one kid, and he was pushing and shoving all the weight. There's a line to get up on the slides. There's five or six slides attached to this one stairwell. They have people there that are trying to manage the process. But I imagine that's hard. It's just really hard, and the kids want to no attention to anybody. This one kid comes bowling up his way, and he knocks over. I mean, he's just knocking over children, including mine. I put my hand in front of him and I said, Oh, everybody's getting to turn here, bro. It's okay.

Just take a deep breath. Settle down. Well, I'll get there. You knocked over this young lady here and a couple of others. You should stop. And he's like, Whatever, man. Like that. Like fucking Bart Simpson. I'm like, Dude, even I know that's not cool, whatever you just said. You You could have said, Settle down with your Riz or something. Riz-drizzle. I don't know. Whatever the kids are saying. Hip hop, tic-tac, get off it, kid. Whatever, man. That's what he said. He goes, Whatever, man. I'm like, Okay, dude. All right. So he comes bowling up the guy upstairs is like, Hey, dude, you got to slow down. You can't just be knocking kids over. He's like, Whatever, man. Fucking brat. Yeah. Fucking brat. Where are you going?

You can't do that.

Yeah, you can't do that. I did. But that, I think, was an appropriate, You can't do that. I did. But that, I think, was an appropriate, you can't do that. Asking a kid to just stand still while some sweeping arm, some scary big arm comes to knock you off your pad. You can't tell a kid to sit still. However, a line, everybody knows what a line is. From two years old, you learn what a line is. You know what a line is. You take your turn. And by the way, they're carrying these huge mats for the slide. So they're just knocking kids over as they go along, just taking them out one by one. It's all dangerous. It's all a huge one, basically. But whatever, we're there and they're having fun.

You Until he signed the waiver. Yes.

So this kid gets up to the top. He's older. He's probably 10, 11 years old. Bigger kid, big bone child, right? And he gets up there, knocks a couple more people on the way over, make sure that he's first in line, even though everybody's been waiting. He just cuts off everybody, runs and jumps onto the slide with the lip. Well, he runs and he jumps off the slide with the lip, and he catches some real air, and he tilts sideways ways, and he falls on his shoulder with his head bouncing on the air mattress. It didn't look like it was a very comfortable position for him to land. Yeah. He gets up and he's instantaneously crying, right? He's like, mommy, mommy. I yelled down and I go, Yeah, whatever, man. Take that. Karma, bitch. One for the little people. And then I got kicked out. They were like, Okay, all That's enough kidding. I was like, instant karma. And part of me wanted to be a dad and go down there and be like, It's okay, because clearly, the mom was nowhere around, probably ever. I don't know. But part of me wanted to be a dad and go down there and be like, All right, man, you landed sideways.

It's okay. You get back up right again. You'll do it, right? It's okay. He didn't hurt him. I don't think he physically hurt himself. I think it was scary is what it was, the way he got a lot of air and then he landed sideways. But then part of me was like, Well, no, that's a lesson in life. You're You're a shithead and you landed sideways. So there you go. You're a shithead and you shit yourself. Now, do me a favor. Go check and make sure my daughter doesn't have a blowout. We'll see how you feel then, Dennis, the fucking menace. Some people just cannot be parents. It's like Christie and I were watching TikTok videos before the show. There's this, I'll give him a shout out. It's called the Cringe Club. They're on Instagram, and I think they're on TikTok, too. Oh, we were watching Instagram. They were on TikTok, too, and they put up cringey like videos. One of the videos that they had, which is actually a series of videos they've been putting up now from the same creator, and it's a mother. She is likening herself, one of these mom fluencers, and she's a bigger bone lady herself.

Let's just say it that way. She's got her phone obviously set somewhere in the kitchen so you can see what she's doing. What she's doing on the text, it says, Watch me as I make my kid's breakfast.

Breakfast, yeah.

She takes a donut, like an extra double-size, extra-large Krispy Kreme donut. I mean, the kind you buy at the grocery store for a dollar 99 that you know have been cooked in the oil that the potato salad was cooked in yesterday. You know what I'm saying? Like the extra fatty, fatty. Then they just jizzle, drizzle that whole thing with sugar. I mean, it is in sugar. It's all over the place. It's just covered in white sugar. She takes it, cuts it up into 10 little slices, puts a fucking Fartorama juice box on that kid's plate and hands it to her child, who's watching cartoons, by the way, in the morning, who couldn't be more than two years old, could not be more than two years old. The kid even looked at her like this, That's what you want me to eat for fucking breakfast? And starts eating it. You put a sugary donut in front of a kid for breakfast every morning? That is the best household in the world until it's not the best household in the world. How are these people procreating?

Yeah, it was disturbing.

I'm not saying I never give my kids sugar for breakfast, because if I have to make breakfast, it's waffles and syrup. It's Mickey-shaped waffles and syrup. Usually, the Mickey-shaped came in the Ego box before I even made it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

I mean, I guess anything's better than nothing.

For sure.

But But you guys are all going the way of the Dodo bird.

If you keep on feeding your kids these sugary chips. Just talked about this the last episode. Once they get that taste, they never get it out of their mouth. It's like that, Tammy and Bami Lou or whoever on My Thousand Pound Sisters, they think that Diet Coke has negative calories in it? Yeah. Unbelievable. This is the household that these people were raised in. I don't think that... When I go to one of these places, these Venturerre indoor work, you can really see how terrible the parenting is.

Oh, I bet.

Yeah. There's all kinds. There's a birthday party going on in the back. Oh, God. In one of these rooms, right? Two of these mothers are dressed up, swear to God, dressed up like... I don't know how I say this nicely. Girls of the Night, Ladies of the Night. That's probably the best way to describe it. They are full-blown clown makeup on, boobs hanging out, high-cut skirts. It is 26 degrees outside in Atlanta. There's nothing on under those skirts, and they're prancing around in their high heels, right?

This was the birthday party?

The birthday party that was going on in the back of this adventure here. They had five separate private rooms. This was one of them. The reason why I even knew that these ladies were in a birthday party is because I walked to go to the restroom and this lady had two cups of wine in her hand, and When I tried to pass her, she refused to move to the side. I was like, Oh, okay, I guess I'll back up from the hallway so that you can get out with your two cups of wine.

She was coming towards you.

She was going towards me. I was in the hallway. She turned the corner. When she turned the corner, she didn't move. She could have just moved to the side. We all could have gotten by, but she didn't. Then when I'm coming back, I notice she's in one of these classrooms. Okay, whatever. Five minutes later, I see this little kid, cute little kid, bouncing on one of those trampoline things, and he bounces and he hits one of those cement grids, the things in the middle. He hits it with his knee, and instantaneously, he's crying. And instantaneously, some of the attendants that are there run over because I think they can also tell that this kid may have just really hurt himself, not just like, I will booboo, but just hurt himself. He is crying, crying, crying. I happened to be close. And even though the people came over, I just walked over and I'm like, Are you okay? Are you okay? And he just wouldn't look at anybody. He's just crying, crying. My mommy, my mommy. Guess what? Fifteen minutes later, mom appears with two glasses of wine in her fucking hand and her tits all shaken out to say, It's okay, get up.

That's what she said to It's okay. Get up. Wow. And then walk back to the party because her looking, the single men or the married men or the whatever, all the dads looking at her tits were more important than her kid who probably just broke his fucking patella on the goddamn trampoline thing. It pisses me off. We should have tests to procreate.

I can imagine there's all forms with those types of places that you see parenting, crying, laughing, mad, Mad. Mad, sad.

It's all there.

Poops, snots, scrapes, concussions.

It's like we've said when we-blood pouring out of your head, getting questioned by the nurses. Do you have a safe place to live? Would you consider your home a loving environment? I'm like, What? Shut up. With the stitches in. Do I consider my home a loving environment? Who says no to that? No, not really. I I don't know. I've never around them. It sounds like everything's okay out there. Have you ever had a commercial break? Can I turn you on? Will you follow on Apple real quick? Hey, before you put those stitches in, can you follow on Apple? Yeah, give them for said whatever you need to. Give me your phone. I'll pull it up for you. Yeah, give me your phone. While you're doing stitches, I'm going to pull it up. I'll make sure you hear it. Okay, let's take a break. Maybe we'll show up on the other side of it. I'll get more TikTok.

Sorry to interrupt, but that's my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting Brian, give us a call at 626 Ask TCB 3. Leave us a voicemail, and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't you? You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383, and check out our website, tcbpodcast. Com, for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram, @thecommercialbreak, and on TikTok, T-C-B podcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here.

This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon.

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You know how we oftentimes hear we talk about these creators, like the women who pose with nothing but a thong on and getting by the Instagram nipple cover, and it'll be like, your world is lonely until you realized you're loved by my nipples, by my enlarged labia that I just got revaginated at the local...

Doing like a yoga pose.

Yeah, yoga pose with their vagina lips hanging out. Your best friend would be your only enemy of love or whatever the fuck they put. And you're What does this have to do with the price of tea in China? I don't understand. I'm not getting it. I'm not picking up on it. But okay, all right. They have more followers than we do, so I guess there's something to it. Yeah, exactly. Maybe I should put a nut hugger on and start doing those things. Maybe I will, actually.

Do some yoga poses.

Do some yoga poses. My flabby ass and my man tits. We're always making fun of the...

I have this picture of that.

Kiss me. I think maybe not making fun of, but poking at the hypocrisy that is some of these influencers. This is going to take a little bit of a serious turn, but not too serious. It's a commercial break. This is going to take a bit of a serious turn as there's this other level of influencers who really consider themselves healers. They think, I had a bad spell of drinking in college I sobered up mainly because now I only drink wine out of a bottle. It's more than $100. But I'm a healer because I one time went to a retreat and I made it all the way to Sonoma for a healing seminar. Now they're healing everybody. I'm healing everybody. Come to my healing retreat. I'm healing you. They consider themselves spiritual gurus, some quasi spiritual guru, self-aggrandizing, egotistical ass clowns that are out there just pretending that they have all the answers to your woes, especially when you're in a vulnerable position, which oftentimes we find ourselves in 100% of the time. It's true. In 2024, it's hard not to feel like the world's beating you up a little bit. Whatever your problems are, emotional, spiritual, financial, death in the family, sickness in the family, whatever it is, it leads to this existential crisis.

Sometimes- You're looking for something.

You're looking for something, anything. I know so many of these people that are just really, and I say the seekers. The seekers are the seekers because they are feelers, they are deep thinkers, and they want something more out of life than clocking in, clocking out, and putting smile on your face.

And they procrastinate.

Yeah, they procrastinate. It's just like Christie and I. But we have a whole lot of friends who I would consider seekers, and some of them not for reasons because they're so vulnerable, just because they're genuinely curious, right? They think there's a better way to live, and they're out there trying to find it. I applaud them for that. I am a procrastinator, so I'm too lazy to do any of that. But should I ever get I'll feel that way, too. But in all seriousness, I have been there, and I have done it. I've been through the seminars, and I've read the self-help books, and I've studied other religions, and I've, whatever. I've meditated, yes, even sometimes naked. By the way, while we're on the subject of influencers taking half naked poses and writing stupid things on their Instagram captions, it is not meditating if you're taking a selfie at the same time. I'm just sharing that. I do not know which meditation class you went to where they said, videotape it and then repost it on TikTok with some clever ass saying from fucking Dr. Wayne Dier, and that will make you healed. I don't know what that is.

I say all this because I was speaking with a good friend of ours, Allison hair, of the Culture Changers podcast. Love Allison. Yes, love Allison, too. She's been a fan of the show and a friend of the show for a long time. Maybe even part of the reason why we even got into this business in the first place was Allison was promoting podcasting in general and asked if I wanted to- She was an early adopter. She was. Allison and I were talking the other day, and she was sharing with me an interesting story, and I connected the dots. One of my friends, a couple of months ago, about a year ago, How did he was going to do... Seca... Seca... Seca... Seca... Seca... How do you say that? Cilocybin. Cilocybin. Mosrooms. Why do you keep calling it Seca-cilum? Seca-cilum.

Seca-cilum with Silociban.

Seca-ascibun with Silocibun. Cilocybin. Some words just don't come out of your mouth. Cilocybin. He was going to do Cilocybin therapy. That means a trained, quote unquote, therapist, mushroom therapist, will be with you while you take a journey on the magic mushrooms, and that leads to, I don't know, some deeper level of consciousness, awareness, whatever.

Yeah, it's becoming a thing now.

It's very much a thing. But then there are therapists, and then there are theranots. I don't know what they call themselves. They're theranots. They're astronauts who are therapists who also do magic mushrooms, who also have Instagram followings. I'm not sure what they are, but they're people who think that they can walk you through these things, and they have little to no training about any of this. They certainly probably don't have any medical experience. They haven't been trained to do this.

They've just done it themselves.

They've just done it themselves. They've watched a bunch of other people do it, and they figured they'd get you through a bad trip no matter what happens. That may be the case because mushrooms in general are not very dangerous, if done correctly. No one overdoses on magic mushrooms. It doesn't happen. You don't hear about that. But she, my friend, decided he was going to go do this, and he did go do this. Then he ended up becoming friends with the person who was administering this type of treatment and his wife, who own a healing center here in Georgia. They ended up getting invited to a Costa Rican psilocybin retreat, which is probably about as hokey-pokey as it sounds. The psilocybin magic mushroom Costa Rica retreat. In other words, pay $4,000, stay in a rented house that we paid $100 for. We're going to get some people to cook you some food. It probably doesn't taste very good. Drink smoothies. Yeah, drink smoothies and eat the cabbage and shit your brains out. Then do some mushrooms overlooking the beautiful forest and hopefully the howler monkeys don't eat your face off. That thing. Yes. So he goes and he comes back and he says, Hey, I said, How was it?

Yeah, I like the guy. He's a little weird, but I like the guy. And, Man, is his wife smoking hot? So it's nice. They always are. Yeah, they always are. Of course they are, because that's what solidifies it in some people's heads. It's like, well, she married him. How bad could he be? I mean, he's got his shit together if he marries someone that looks like that. And she happens to be well-spoken, too, because I heard her. But there's no doubt she's an attractive woman. So Allison and I are speaking, and Allison says that in her group, in her circle, there had been some people who had done something very similar. Actually, I'll say it, Allison did it because she said it on her podcast, so I don't think she minds me sharing it here either. She did it, and she says that she did it with this guy, and this guy and his wife on this healing center. I'm like, Holy shit. It's the same. It's the same dude. Now this dude is being sued by multiple women because he had taken advantage of them while they were in some treatment. Took advantage of the power that he had, the perspective that these women had that he was some guru, some magic mushroom healer, like his dick would touch them and heal all things.

He had no problem using his dick to heal all things. He was touching their clitoris to get rid of their migraine headaches or sticking his finger in their ass because unprocessed trauma from their 14-year-old boyfriend or whatever it was. Now there are multiple women that are suing this man, that clinic, these things because of this situation. This, by the way, is a story that has been repeated so many fucking times.

I was going to say, yeah, there's a bunch of Netflix documentaries about this type of thing.

Netflix and Amazon are having a field day with this. I mean, honestly, they're making a A lot of money retelling these stories because this is not an uncommon phenomenon. People who claim themselves to be healers, all seers, all knowers, all doers, are All fixers. All fixers are probably just ego-maniacs and possibly psychopaths.

Or if they didn't start off like that, then they become like that.

I think you're right about that.

Because of the admiration and love of all of these people.

Allison and I were saying the exact same thing. Is it not possible It's like doctors who get God complexes. They walk into an emergency room, they save lives. They walk into an emergency room, they make mistakes, people die. You start to feel a little bit like you have a God complex. I'm not saying that happens with all doctors. I'm saying it is a noted phenomenon amongst some types of doctors. They have God complexes because they literally have people's lives in their hands and they have the ability to save those lives in certain circumstances, and I'm sure they lose some lives, too. No, they do. But when you start having people, really really admire you at a certain level, this is why I will never have a God complex because no one has ever admired me for the commercial break. You should see some of these comments that come in. Brian's all right, but Chrissy, man, she's awesome. I think you're the show. I swear. So many people just love you, and they're like, Brian's just a blowhard, but Chrissy keeps them in check. So there's no God complex happening here. I have a very normal man complex.

I have a very three and a half inches wind hard complex is what I have. I am right down the middle average. Well, yeah, no.

In people and once you have power, it's like the power complex. You have power over other people and That type of thing?

Yes, I think people who are in power. I read this about Elon Musk, actually. Some of his friends, people have known him for a long time, said that he knows that he has the power to affect people's lives in great ways to actually change humanity in one way or shape or form because of his power and riches. That is a dangerous place to be. But let's take it back down from Elon Musk and take it back down to your general creepy Instagram healer, right? Man bun. Yes, man bun, dude in the woods, drinking his own pea, using fox jizz to make his short and curlies more short and curly. You know what I'm saying? You get it. Those people. Tanning your anus. I'm mostly talking about tanning your anus. If you're putting your brown star to the big yellow star in the sky, something's wrong. Don't follow that, dude.

You got way too much time on your way.

Way too much time, and you obviously don't know that anuses are supposed to be hidden away. They've known this for a long time, by the way.

That's why there are two big cheeks.

Yeah, there's two big butt cheeks that cover it up. And pretty much since we started fire, maybe Beforehand, we were covering that shit up with something because we were like, Oh, that's a stinky binky right there. That's a stinky pinky. We got to try and put something between us and the assholes of the world. We're not baboons. We don't throw our asses everywhere. Right. I say this because I genuinely get concerned about some of my friends, about some of the people that I know. I get concerned that not only may they be healers that think this, but that they may be following healers that think this. There is a fine line between taking someone's advice and finding someone to be wise in the moment and saying something to you that needed to be heard. I honestly think when those moments come, it's coming straight from the universe. It's not about the person that's talking to you. It's about the message that's coming through that person. You know a lot of these great musicians that will say, Well, I'm not playing the music. I'm just a conduit for the music. It's coming from the universe. That in and of itself sounds hokey-pokey.

Join my Costa Rica hokey-pokey retreat.

Sign up now.

Sign up now. I got a payment plan. The payment plan is the best.

We'll be going to the Florida Everglades.

We're going to go to the Florida Everglades. You You'll be sleeping in a tent. I'll be at the Rich Carlton Amelia Island. Let me know if you need anything. I've left you all a bag of- Find yourself. Yes. I've left you all a bag of mushrooms and instructions on how to sun your anus went high.

You should find yourself there.

You should find yourself there. Beware of gators. I'm giving you all a one-person pop-up tent and a yoga mat that I stole from adventurer. Full of kids' snob. But you need to be exposed to these kinds of germs. Fuck vaccines. Go to adventurer. You'll kill yourself if it was.

You'll be really sick. That's right. But then you won't be.

Yeah, but then you won't be. Then you, too, will be your own healer. It's basically a grow yourself in your own Instagram healer.

Sign up for our healing. Sign up now. We're going to run one of the birthday party rooms.

Hookers included. I want you to get a blow jump from this lady holding two glasses of wine. She's got kids already, so be careful. I get concerned that some of the people that we know, and maybe some of the people that are listening to this show, although I'd like to think that they're sharper than the average bear, that we follow these people because we're vulnerable. Instead of listening to the message or ingesting the message, we idolize the person, we idolize the messenger. I think that's a really dangerous place to be. I think this is a lot of religions, too, is that we start idolizing the fictitious or the real or however, whatever you want to say, character in the story, and we lose the message in that. Well, he did this and she did that.

Again, Netflix has a ton of those.

Absolutely. Golds. I mean, honestly, it's 2024. We still doing this? Yes. Are we still feeling?

People are still doing this.

Flying to India to get molested by some yoga teacher? I mean, come on, guys. Who was that guy? The yoga guy? Yeah. That guy was the worst. That was bad. Yeah, that was pretty bad. I Say this because I just want to give a clear-headed warning almost, that it's 2024. Information is readily available. Messages are readily available. They're available, and you can see tits at the same time by scrolling through Instagram.

Just download the app.

Yeah, just download the app. You don't need to go to some retreat and put yourself in a position as a vulnerable person, maybe you're going through a bad time, and then have people that put themselves in places of power so that you idolize them and not the messaging because the messaging is weird and it's gray and they don't know what they're talking about, but it sounds cool on Instagram. I mean, all this other stuff. Or you may be intoxicated at the time, which is a very fashionable thing to do right now, and probably not for everybody, even though they would like you to think that it is. Then you get yourself in a position or people get themselves into a position where their real harm can be done, evidenced by this ass clown running around Atlanta. I'm not going to say his name because he hasn't been to court yet. So this thing, this could all be untrue, but it sounds like it might be because even my friend said, there's a real creep factor going on with this guy, man bun and all. Why is it always some A 40-something white guy with a beard and a little bit of salt and pepper.

Man bun, way too buff for his age. Like, he has too much time on his hands. He's going to the gym a lot or sunning his anus or doing pull-ups on a jungle vine. I'm not sure what's going on there. But why is it always so stereotypical? I guess because. I guess because. That's the way it is.

People are following.

And by the way, I do know that this has happened to men with women healers, too. I have There again, Netflix had a whole show about it. Chrissy, she got Netflix as a sponsor at this point.

Well, I did. I watched the one about the woman that started like... It was like the sexual healing one. Oh, which one?

Which one? Was there one on Netflix?

Yeah, I can't remember the name of it, but I watched it a little bit.

And she was diddling the dudes?

Yeah, well, I mean, she was showing people how to...

Oh, really? Oh, please do send that one. I'd like to see that one.

I will, but it turned bad.

It's like this mother God lady. Right.

I haven't even gotten through all that way yet.

She was drinking colloidal silver. She turned silver, and they still thought she was a god. She was dead for 27 days, and they still thought that she was delivering messages. People are fucking delusional. That's insane. She was silver. That lady, Amy, was silver. Mother God. Watch it. It's on Netflix?

Yeah. No, no. Hbo. Oh, HBO. Is Max.

Whatever the fuck it's called. Turner, TNT, Max, S+, Cartoon Network, Minus, Double Tap. I don't know what it's called anymore. But it's got good shows on it.

That's all I'm going to say. That's why you people need to keep it simple with TCB minus. I know.

Tcb minus. All your favorite places, somewhere else. All your favorite television shows, somewhere else. Exactly. That's it. This to me is super bothersome because when I watch a documentary like mother God. I see just how blinded people are by the messenger and not listening to the message. Because if you listen to a fucking word that lady said, you would understand she's a little bit loopy. Like she's not lost the plot. These people follow her blindly, I think because they're so desperate to hear a message, to be a part of something important, to be part of the change, to be the tip of the spear that changes the world. You can do that, but you don't have to follow someone who's silver in a wheelchair while they're rolling her dead bones around half of goddamn United States of America. You still think she's like, something's happening. You're putting electrolymeters next to her feet. You know why? She conducting electricity because she was silver.

God.

If I painted myself silver, I'd conduct electricity, too. It's so easy to understand. I don't get it. I have to tell you, this is really driving me It's crazy. The more and more I see this on Instagram, the more and more concerned I get that everyone is just all of a sudden starting to follow their own little micro healers, and we're all going to be having a party in the woods once a year to kill ourselves off by drinking fucking colloidal silver and doing mushrooms up our ass while we're sunning our bums. I can't take it anymore. We got to slow down. Slow down. It's okay. It's confusing. The world's scary. It's a big, bad We're all in our own little corners. We're trying to fight each other and all this other stuff. It's okay. It'll be all right. Now, I've got some words of wisdom for you. If you'd like to hear those, $299 plus $99. You can call TCV, ask TCV 3, and get my message of the day. Then don't forget to join my Everglades Retreat. The Everglades Peni Retreat. I want you to sleep in this bag, and if you hear something poking around in the middle of the night, it's the pea eye.

You're being healed. You're being healed. That's it. It's working. On the backs of all this, I thought I would absolutely like to go to a video that I know you're not going to like, Chrissy, but I'm going to share it. Great. I know you don't like this girl, but I found one. Oh, that girl. Here she comes. But I'm not going to let you suffer through three segments of it. We'll only suffer for 10 minutes.

The girl who had dog shit all The Night sky, whatever her name is.

Yeah. The girl, dog shit hero.

It's all over the house. We watched that one video. Oh, my God. And then now it's completely different. It was so highly disturbed.

She's got followers. Well, yeah, she got followers. She got someone to clean her house. Exactly. The lady probably doesn't even get paid. The cleaner doesn't get paid. She just gets healing. I got healing. Come over here. Let me suck on your titties. I'm healing you. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break, and then we'll come back. I'm going to show you one of my favorite healers out there doing it the right way. Dog shit in the background and everything. All right, we'll be back.

Finally, I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast. Com to find all of our audio and video content, and follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at Tcb Podcast. Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626 Ask TCB 3, and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855 TCB 8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors, and let's get back to the show.

Okay, and we're back. All right, so we've been talking about these Instagram healers, the hokey-pokey bullshit, the people who basically gather a following by posting crackpot shit on the internet. Not all of it's crackpot, by the way. I want to share that. That sometimes the repeating messaging that has been heard and seen and followed from many, many generations.

I like to take it all with a grain of salt. I do, too. I think you and I are both... We share that we're spiritual people that are open to new ideas.

But I'm not into the dogma. I don't want to follow someone around. I don't want to be walking from village to village asking for a grain of rice I'm knocking a tin can around. I just tell it. I'm sorry. It's just not for me. I already can't eat here at the house because I got 30 children that ask for something the second I sit down. I'm eating a grain of rice a day. Have you noticed? I lost a lot of weight. Here's one of my favorite healers, Starsky. I don't know what her name is. Starry Sky, something like that. She's been around the internet. She's been making her waves around the internet. She's now got some followers. Here she is. She's going to show us how we can transmute into our highest energy, Chrissy. Oh, yes. I know you're going to love this. Okay. Here she is. Attractive-looking woman, by the way.

Yeah. In reality is a real thing. I feel like this is actually- What did she say?

What reality is a real thing.

Quantum jumping in reality is a real thing. A quantum jumping. I feel like this is actually something that I personally do quite often where it's literally- I bet you do quantum jump a lot in your life.

I don't have a hard time believing. Where is she walking now? I don't know. Machu Picchu. I don't know. Who knows? I really like- It's probably Epcot, but it looks like Machu Picchu.

Oh, the obligatory thong.

In different realities. Where it's like, Where is her? What is that?

I have no idea. She just took a leap. She just jumped from one couch to the other. In a bedroom. Yeah. First of all, she's talking, and as she's talking, she's showing some B-roll footage of herself. Right. Topless, facing away from the camera with a thong on, swinging a stick. I don't know how that gets you closer to God. Here's her in a thong smelling flowers. Here's her in a thong jumping from one couch to the other. That's good form right there. That's how my kid does it.

Is that her jumping Quantums? Yes.

Jump quantum.

Where's Heather? It's like, Oh, she's living in a different country doing a different thing, living a whole new life. She's living her dream. This is not to brag at whatsoever.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, of course not. Where's Heather? Why would we think that? Where's Heather? Oh, she's living in a new life in a different country. Not to brag. She's living in Costa Rica driving a Range Rover. The one her daddy bought her.

Definitely have my trials as well and have to go through my own challenges. There are things that come with that as well. But for the most part...

But for the most part, I'm untouchable. I don't have feelings.

Everything's great.

I am out here It's like quantum jumping in reality and just manifesting. Thong.

More thong. Why are you showing yourself so much on a thong? What does this have to do with anything? I mean, I get it. You got a beautiful body. Show it off if you want to. But I think that's a different video we're looking at.

Sensing and shifting to different dreams of mine and living this full experience. Because really, that's what I personally came here on Earth to do, is to fully fulfill my mission and- Fully fulfill.

Fully fulfill. Yes. Just remember, when you're not fulfilled, you can get fully fulfilled.

Experience, explore, honor, celebrate the beauty of- Explode, explore, honor, experience.

Adjuntives, addjuntives, addjuntives. That's not an addjuntive, it's a verb, actually, Brian.

Life. To see what is out there and to fully experience and live at my full potential. I don't know. If we're not doing that, then what are we even really doing here?

Yeah, because all of us can just afford to drop our lives at a moment's notice, run down to Costa Rica and take pictures and thongs. The fuck? You act as if this is crazy to believe that 99.9% of the people who may listen to this video, may watch this video, could ever experience those same things because that takes money. In order to have money, unless your mother or father gave it to you, you won the lottery or you have done it on your own, which usually 22-year-olds are not doing, then guess what? You cannot live a life like this. Right.

Yeah, you definitely deserve this, too. I'm really excited because it's actually very easy to quantum shift in your reality. Again, I'm not just talking about quantum shifting. Oh, my God, I'm living in a different reality. Everything's different.

But yes, you are.

Yes, you are. Oh, my gosh. Come on down to Brian Green's Magic Mush Castle. I'll quantum shift left and right. I got here one room with a picture of the Costa Ricans and another picture from the Amazonians. You two can quantum shift by walking from one room to the other high on magic mushrooms. A quantum shift to your heart's delight. 3999.

Come into my moss room. Yeah.

Oh, look, there's my moss room, also known as Black Mold. But don't worry, you're on magic mushrooms. Seco Sablin, as Brian would call You'll be fine.

It's like, no, I mean, literally manifesting straight up miracles, shifting timelines to where your situation, your relationship, your experience, everything is completely different.

Shifting to the- Wait, hold on. First of all, she just put up some text.

Oh, yeah. That text makes no sense. It said, Quantum Leap, shift your highest timeline in reality that includes the most beneficial and enjoyable experiences. Sure. Let's all sit at my favorite bar, fucking and sucking until I'm dry. That's what you do. That's a quantum shift.

I thought Quantum Leap was a great show, though.

Quantum Leap was a great show. Clearly not created by Heather, but whatever.

Everything is completely different, shifting to the reality that you deserve and that you have wanted to actually create. I'm really excited to share this. If you're new here, welcome to the Activation Vibration. I'm Heather, and I put two words that line together for activation vibration.

Activation vibration.

Please do tell us how.

Do tell us how to activate and vibrate.

This topic in specific is so important because everyone is just in a better vibe when they're living a better life.

I do see how she has shifted from... Because, correct me if I'm wrong, but when we first started watching her a few years ago, she had talking to aliens.

Yes, she was alien light language girl. Is I think how she gained most of her- She shifted. She shifted from a small apartment in La Brea to a very nice apartment in Hollywood Hills. Now someone cleans up the dog shit for her. Or at least she's gotten smart enough to not put the camera angle directly on the floor. That's right.

That is why I'm here sharing this, because I want for you listening to be living your best life, to be stoked, to be happy, to wake up and be like, Wait, this is a gift to be living here on Earth. What miracles can I create today?

Plus, I really wanted to show you my thong.

Lazy, frazy, fray. Yes, that's right. Here's my asshole. Bing. See, I mean, because the island We have one thing to say.

That's right.

That's why I'm now selling Queefcoin. I know. It's a Queefcoin. This girl's living in Lala land. Who does this?

That's what you deserve. So being in an environment that actually supports that is definitely a thing because I know- It's definitely a thing.

It's definitely a thing. It's a thing. It's a thing.

And that's medical term.

I made it so.

What it can be like to be living in a situation or in a household or an environment that is not supporting your highest evolution and expression. So if that is the case, then we're going to go ahead and just manifest shift, change that right here, right now, asking for God, your higher source.

If you're living in a house where the situation does not support your activation vibration, we're going to change that right now. Yeah, let's do it. I can see thousands of people literally packing up and being like, Well, Bob, I'm out. Thirteen years of miserable marriage. I'm leaving you. Heather told me.

Angels, your guides, whatever it is that you connect to, to connect to you and to align it to the timeline to already just begin that shift. With that, going into the first way to quantum quantum shift, quantum leap in your reality is to make the decision. Now, although this may sound just casual and simple, it's actually very not.

It's actually very not. That's going to be the new Commercial Break tagline, the Commercial Break. Very not. Thank you.

It's something that immediately kick starts the energetics of the shift of your reality because things are happening beyond you. Do you know that? Are you aware of that? That the world is going on. There are things that are being attracted to you and that you are magnetizing and also repelling in your reality right here, right now that you may not have comprehension of, but it is happening. So as you make the decision, I am ready to change. I am ready to shift this certain thing, or maybe you don't even have clarity on what that is specifically, but just as a whole, you are ready to shift and change, when you make that decision, it starts to happen.

Well, that's the magic answer, Christie. All we got to do is- Exactly, just decide. Even if you don't know what exactly you want, you just make that decision and things start to come together. That's why I quit. Talk to you later.

So make that decision right here, right now, if you're ready to. And again, this can be as simple and casual as you want it to be. It doesn't have to be a huge life shift and change, but just something that adjusts within you.

Look at me. I'm a wolf.

And adjusts you to your highest timeline and experience. The next way is to shift your perspective. First of all, shifting the perspective of where you are at. If you would all feel like, Oh, this is bad. I'm in the wrong space.

If you're shifting your perspective, isn't that going to shift the perspective of where you're at anyway? Yes. Okay. I'm just wondering if she's Are you taking so many words to get to nothing in my own mind, or are you hearing this, too?

Again, with a grain of salt. I mean, okay, yes. Change your perspective. That in itself can be very helpful.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change.

However, where's It's Heather.

Heather's down in Costa Rica, sunning her bum, sunning her anus.

This is not good. This is this. That's not the energy. Even in having the decision that you want to shift and change, it's not from a space of like, This sucks ass. I don't like my life. I need to change. It's from a space of like, Oh, I'm ready. This has expired. With that- I'm ready.

New milk, Matilda. And clean up the dog poop while you're at it. Can you start the Range Rover? This has expired. It's 68 degrees outside. I don't want to get into a cold car. Matilda, has Daddy not paid you?

I'm acknowledging the purpose of it in whatever way it express and be grateful for it. Like, thank you, phase, experience, version of me, environment, whatever, for catalyzing my growth and for the clarity that I have now. Well, thank you. I love you. Thank it for its service. And leave it, transition it in that energy, being grateful, seeing from a different perspective of what it is and what it represents. And again, being grateful like, Thank you now. I'm here in this space. And I get to be in the space.

Thank you. Christie. I just walked ever into another room.

Christie. I'm officially all full up of bullshit. I can't take it. I just can't. I know. It's hard. Okay. First few videos, I was like, I don't know why Christie gets so upset. It's all right. And now I'm like, you know what? I think you're right.

I think it's actually more interesting when they're talking to aliens.

Oh, for sure. A thousand %. But this is just an example of some of the mumbo jumbo that's out there right now. And listen, there's nuts and there's little kernels. Yeah. Like when you eat corn and you take a poop, there's little kernels in there somewhere. It's wrapped in a piece of shit, but it's somewhere in there. I understand. I get it. I'm not naive to this language. No. The alien light language, I don't understand. But I'm not naive to some of this stuff. I might go so far as to agree with some of the stuff that she's saying. If you change the way you look at things, things you look at start to change. That's a good one. Right. But I'm not sure about all the other words. I can't just magically get up and go to Costa Rica tomorrow because I don't like it. I don't like it here. Right. Yeah. I wish I could, but I'm not getting that smart list money.

I think that you should take a leap off your bed. See what happens. Knock yourself out.

My perspective just changed. Sometimes I'll put the mattress underneath my bed, which is tall, and so the kids can jump and play. It's all fun, man. It's all fun a game, so they land on the baby, which they always inevitably do. And I'm like, You can't jump on the baby. She was there. Well, that's your... Which one of you is responsible for not jumping on her if she is there? It's you. You're doing the jumping. What does she want her to do? Poor girl, there's 30 stitches in her head. Now she got to deal with you jumping on her? Come on. And then Blue's down there, licking every orifice in her body because Blue's gross. Oh, poor Blue. I want to quantum shift Blue is what I want to do. Exactly. I want to quantum shift her into a dog that pays attention to what I tell her to do. That's what I'd like to do. And I want to Quantum Shift you over to tcbpodcast. Com. You, too, can find out more about the show. Listen to all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also get your piggy fronting sticker.

Hit the Contact Us button. Send us your address.

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There you go. Add the commercial break on Instagram, Tcb podcast on TikTok and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. All right, Christie, I guess that's all I can do for today. All right, star child. All right, star whatever you are. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie. We, and I do say, we will say, and we always say, goodbye. Peace.