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Subscribe to Morning Footie. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalist at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Lynet.

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Desi Leidig. We've got so much good news for you tonight. Women's sports are now the best sports. Michael Costa tries to get out of a speeding ticket, and Donald Trump has found an entirely new way to lose money. So let's get into the headline. Let's kick things off with some news from the business business world. Last week, Donald Trump's social media platform, Truth Social, went public with a value of $8 billion, which seemed like a lot for a website whose business model is, what if Twitter was just Nazis? And guess what? Turns out it was.

Tonight, stock in Donald Trump's media company tanking after Trump's social media platform, Truth Social, reported losing $58 million last year. The company was valued at nearly $10 billion after it went public last week as Trump supporters rushed to scoop up shares. Truth Social is doing very well. It's hot as a pistol.

I'm doing great.

But today, that rude awakening, the revelation of last year's losses sent the stock plunging more than 20% and the value of Trump's own stake losing more than a billion dollars.

Yeah, Trump, you lost a billion dollars yesterday. Now you're only worth six billion dollars, you broke bitch. We got him, finally. Now, there's a bit of a disagreement over why the stock dropped so much. Analysts say it's because of huge losses and limited market upside, while Trump advisors argue it's because of woke gay trans DEI Hunter Biden's laptop. So who's to say? At this point, it just seems like Trump is trying to be in every section of the newspaper, finance, politics, style, city crime. It's only a matter of time until he drops a theater review, Just saw Wicked Total Widget. Let's move on to the fight. Yeah, you can clap for that. Yes. Oh, Trump. Let's move on to the fight over abortion rights, where today Florida handed us a mixed bag. Now to Florida, where the state Supreme Court just issued two major rulings on abortion rights.

Two major decisions. The Florida State Supreme Court has now cleared the way for one of the strictest abortion bans in the nation to go into effect. It bans abortion at just six weeks into pregnancy.

But at the same time, that same state Supreme Court also allowing this issue to be on the ballot in November, allowing Florida voters to decide whether they want to protect access to abortion up until viability, which is considered to be around 24 weeks into pregnancy.

Florida, what is going on here? You're restricting abortion, but you're also putting it on the ballot? Pick a lane. These are some crazy mood swings. You better hope you're not pregnant. Look, a six-week abortion ban is Obviously a terrible setback for women's rights, but there is a small glimmer of hope in that the voters also have a chance to legalize abortion again, which is good news. And also depressing to be celebrating that as good news. But in this climate, I guess that's where we're at right now. I don't know whether I'm happy or not. I feel like Ron DeSantis's face. But hey, at least abortion is on the ballot. Finally, the people of Florida will be able to choose something besides community service or jail time. That is something. That is something. Well, Let's move on to sports. We're in the final stretch of March Madness, that special time of year that turns every office into an underground gambling ring. Last night, all eyes were on a rematch between two of the biggest stars in the tournament.

In goat fashion, Kaitlyn Clarke led Iowa over defending champion LSU in a rematch of last year's fun. For anyone who questioned her greatness, Kaitlyn Clarke had the answer. 41 points, 9-3, 12 assists. A record-breaking masterpiece that lived up to the hype of a rematch in an epic battle of greats. Clarke steps back, fires. You bet. Oh, my. From Skanectody. She's simply ridiculous She's possessed.

This poor announcement, Kaitlyn Clarke, hit so many big shots that the guy was clearly running out of things to say. She's ridiculous. She's possessed. She's a witch. Drown her. I don't know. But honestly, what an awesome rivalry. Kaitlyn Clarke and Angel Rees, two fierce competitors playing their hearts out, captivating the nation while they're still in college. My biggest accomplishment in college was getting a single dorm because of my IBS. Hey, if there was a sock on the door, it was an especially a bad night. Point is, it feels like women's basketball is having a moment this year, and you can tell by how much the media can't stop talking about how they're talking about it.

What a great thing for women's sports that we care.

We're talking about it tonight on CNN because people are caring, and ultimately that is good. We care. The fact that we're talking about women's basketball and women's sports in general, I mean, this is really great. I freaking I love it. It's really great.

I have done this for 32 years. I've never once spent five minutes of any show I've ever done anywhere talking about a great women's game last night at any level.

Okay, I might say more about you, but we'll take the win. We'll take it. That's right. People are excited about women's basketball right now. They're discovering it like it's the first time your mom tried sushi. Oh, my God. Have you heard about this? Spread the word. But everyone is raving. Everyone. Even Shaquille O'Neill said, Women's basketball this year is a better game than men's basketball. Yeah. Yeah, and he's like the most famous men's basketball player. That's like Chef Boyardee telling you he only eats Spaghettios now. Spaghettios, the official food of clinical depression. Spaghettios, want to hurt an Italian person's feelings? Try Spaghettios. One more. Spaghettios. You don't have to love your kids. Anyway, think about how far women's basketball has come. Ten years ago, if you went to a bar on a Monday night to watch women's basketball, it was because you were an alcoholic. But today, if you're at a bar on a Monday night, it's because you're an alcoholic who also wants to watch women's basketball. That is progress. This has been a hugely successful college tournament for the women, even despite some obstacles.

In the women's tournament, controversy is brewing after four games were played on a court in Portland, Oregon, where the three-point line was about six inches closer to the hoop on one side. The error was discovered before North Carolina played Texas in the Elite 8. Both teams' coaches decided to go ahead with the game to not delay the tournament.

Okay, I really relate to this as a woman. It is so classic for someone else to fuck up, and we're like, Oh, the line is messed up? It's fine. We'll just go ahead and play four games. You can fix it later. Or not. Whatever. I'm sorry. But what exactly happened with the three-point line? To get more on this, We go live to Josh Johnson at the Arena. Josh, what happened down there? The line was several inches too short. That's a huge error.

Well, Desi, I talked to the director of Court Maintenance who made the mistake, as well as several other men who were just around, and we all agreed that your length being a few inches shorter than everyone was expecting is no big deal. No story here. Back to you.

Wait, that's not true. Having the line be that short makes an enormous difference.

Enormous is a little mean. Plus, it's not about the length of the line. It's about how you play the game, okay?

I think we could all agree.

It was a pretty good game. It was good for me. I enjoyed it. As far as the difference, the women didn't even notice, all right?

Josh, even if the women said they didn't notice, trust me, they always notice.

Okay, but let's give this lying guy a break because when I talked to him, he swore this had never happened before. We don't even know why it was too short. Maybe it was his first time. Maybe he had been drinking. Maybe the arena was cold.

Sorry, how does being cold make a difference?

It just does, okay?

Wow, you seem pretty worked up about this. Why don't we move past the length of the line? Thank you. Let's talk I'm not going to talk about the curve because the curve was weird.

All right, Desi, I'm out. This is why I only play basketball by myself, okay?

Josh. Josh. Yeah, what did he say? Josh Johnson, everybody.

When we come back, we'll discover the hero that New York doesn't want but needs. So don't go away.

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Ie. Check out our new NBA show, Beyond the Arc, part of the CBS Sports Podcast Network, where you can find me, John Gonzales, NBA Insider Bill Ryder, and Ashley Nicole Moss, five days a week talking all things NBA. Whether you're looking for insightful discussions, upbeat commentary, breaking news, interviews, or coverage of all the biggest stories in the NBA, Our New Show is the place to be five days a week. Download and follow Beyond the Arc on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Welcome back to The Daily Show.

Last week, New York City introduced the first congestion pricing plan in the country, and there's one local who's set on making sure New Yorkers pay their fines. Our own Michael Costa caught up with him in another installment of Thank Me Later.

Hi, I'm Michael Costa. License plates. They help track traffic violators. But what happens when shifty citizens purposely cover them up? Sorry. Tonight on Thank Me Later, we'll meet one man who's dedicated his life to ensure that New Yorkers are being held accountable for traffic violations. I went on a bike along with this snitchalante to investigate, and you can thank me later. Communities cheated out of improvements to roads, bridges, and other infrastructure because of people covering up their license plates. When it goes through the camera system, we can't pick it up.

Officials say these scofflas cost the city more than $100 million every year.

That's right. Some New York drivers have started obscuring their plates by partially covering them. These are called ghost plates, and one man is taking it upon himself to bust these ghosts plates. Hey, it's Gersh Kuntzman still on the criminal mischief beat. I'm going to dedicate today to a legal covered license plate. We got a guy with a DA placard. I'll show you that in a minute. And a cover. So what even incentivized this genuine New York freak to make this his life's mission? I caught him in one of the hottest zones for Ghost Plates, Lower Manhattan. The issue is if you're driving around and you're speeding and you're doing it with a covered plate, you're never going to get the ticket, and you're never even going to realize how badly you're driving. I want to make sure the person gets all the tickets to which he's entitled. What do you say to your critics who say he's a snitch, he's a loser, he doesn't have a life, a hobby, a family, a job, he doesn't have friends or a social life? What do you say to those people? I'm not trying to get people tickets.

What I'm trying to do is show the people who are trying to get people tickets that their system is broken. We're in New York City. There's cops everywhere. Why aren't the police officers cracking down on these ghost plates? The vast majority of the people I've caught defacing or covering their plates are cops or firefighters or court officers. I've done about 120 of these videos in the best three months, and I'd say about 70 of them were law enforcement officials. The very people who shouldn't be breaking the law are finding a way to break the law by defacing their plate and then break the law by then speeding. You're getting more cops tickets for speeding. Give me some. That's awesome. The goal is not to be an asshole. The goal is to be a little bit of an asshole. When does it end? And does that mean you're in a ditch somewhere with a couple of NYPD bullets in your chest? Not that I want that. I mean, it would make a great story. I actually see two heroes here. Yeah? I see you. Thank you. Who is putting your life on the line. More or less.

Enforcing law enforcement. And then I see another hero here, and that's me. Because I I found you, and I'm sharing your story with others. That's exactly right. So thank you for that. You can thank me later. I'll thank you right now. That's not what this segment's called. Gersh took me on a bike along through Lower Manhattan to catch some ghost plates in action. After only a minute of biking, we hit our first offender. This is a great one. Is this normal wear and tear? And the answer is obviously no. Right. So in a situation like this, regardless of where we are, we're literally within inches of a police officer. I'm nervous right now. You're nervous. We're in a private cop lot. Yeah, it's okay. Okay, go ahead. Hey, it's Gert's gunsman. This one is just so defaced. I couldn't resist. I want him to get all the tickets he deserves. So I got my paint pen, and we're just going to fill this in for him. And just as a I'll see to the officer because we are in police parking. I'll also do the New York. The plate cover is illegal. You can see it, but if you're a speed camera which shoots at this angle at night, these covers are illegal for that reason.

I'll probably just pull my screwdriver and do what I do best. Okay. I just take the illegal cover and I'll just leave that on the front of the car. To show that you're not stealing it. Yeah, and I don't steal anything. Then we more or less get out of here. Then we more or less get out of here. Bye. This is now the third time I've caught this guy. Are you serious? Yeah, same cop. You've been here before. Oh, yeah, actually twice. But the fact that he's scraped it off again means I got to do some more work. There's such a important part of being a pest. Yeah. In ways to To actually get shit done and to get people to respond to you, you have to be annoying. A bit of an asshole. And this is the third time you've got this car. Third time. And you're being annoying to it. After a grueling day of catching ghost plates and meeting fans. All right, ladies. We'll see you later. Look me up. I'm Roni Chang. I had to recognize all the great work Gersh was doing for the New York community. Has anybody ever given you a thank you card, a trophy, a plaque, a certificate for the public service doing?

That'd be ridiculous. No one's done that. That's going to change today. What? Because on behalf of The Daily Show-Oh, my God. We got you your own ghost plate. This is outrageous. That's for you, Gersh. That's amazing. Read it. To my favorite ghost plate killer, when it comes to busting Ghostplates, who are you going to call? Gersh Kuntzman. Wow. Thank you, Gersh, for being the annoying snitch New York City needs to keep its streets safe. And you can thank me later. Thank you, Michael. When we come back, Representative Colin Allred will be joining me on the show for Don't Go away.

Rise and shine, football fans.

Start your day the right way with Morning Footie, a podcast that covers every aspect of the global game, headlines, match previews, analysis, interviews, culture, fashion, and plenty of banter. Join as we track the thrills and spills of Europe's biggest title races, the business end of the Champions League season, a summer packed with international competitions, MLS, NWSL, and much more. Subscribe to Morning Footie. Welcome back to The Daily Show.

My guests tonight represent Texas's 32nd district and is running for the Senate against America's Sweetheart Ted Cruz. Please welcome Representative Colin Allred. Colin.

How are you doing? I'm doing well. How are you?

I'm doing great. Welcome to the show.

Yeah, this is great. It's different from what I usually do.

Yeah, they're fun, right?

You guys are a little better than the house right now.

Just slightly. That's not saying a lot. That's keeping the bar pretty low. You have such an interesting resume. You're a former NFL player, civil rights attorney, congressman, and now currently running against Ted Cruz. That's right. For this call. Yeah. In Texas, as a Democrat, which is a bit of an uphill battle, right now, you're currently polling at six points behind. Does it make it worse that you're lagging behind Ted Cruz, of all people?

Now, listen, I'm confident that on November fifth, the Texans are going to come out and show who we really are. I think we've Fair enough. Twelve years of having an embarrassment, one of the most divisive senators in the country. Somebody who I think fundamentally doesn't appreciate who we really are as Texans. I'm a four-generation Texan. I was raised by a single mom in Dallas. You mentioned what I've been able to do, but I was able to do that because I had a lot of help from my community, from my state. I want to make sure that we can have somebody who actually cares about us in the Senate.

You have said before that Texas doesn't have to be embarrassed by their senator. What is the most embarrassing thing about Ted Cruz? Is it that he fled to Cancun while Texans were in the dark and cold, or that time that he didn't feel the booger on his lip for so long? Burned in my memory.

I think there's the antics, right? There's like the reading green eggs and ham on the senate floor while you're trying to take health care away from 40 million people. There's stuff like that. There's the fact that he podcasts three times a week, which is a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. He's a sitting United States Senator. But when you had that little rollie bag when he's coming back from Cancun. Oh, yes. It's frustrating going through those little rope lines at any time. When you're going through it alone to explain why you abandon your state during a statewide crisis, that was really embarrassing. That's the topper.

That was the topper. You're a father of two, and you were one of the first members of Congress to take paternity leave. First of all, thank you for your service. Secondly, why is that so rare among your colleagues?

Well, I didn't know that I was going to be the first when I did it. I thought that it was just a normal thing to do. You think? I grew up not knowing my father. For me, I knew that when we had kids, that I was going to do it right. That starts at the beginning. And there's so much... We've learned a lot. There's so many benefits for when men take leave in those early days. It's better for them than themselves, for their spouses, for their kids. And this is not available to every American. And I want to make sure that it is. And so that's one of the things I've been looking at. You and I both know that those The early days are tough. Oh, yeah. And when you're welcoming, your bundle of joy is also coming with a whole lot of other things that are changing your life. I don't think it's right that we're the only major developed country in the world that doesn't have a national paid leave policy.

I could not agree more. Texas was one of the first states to criminalize abortion. What would be your plans to protect and restore women's reproductive rights?

As you mentioned, my wife and I, we've had two boys in Dallas in the last five years, and I went to every ultrasound appointment, every genetic testing. Those rooms, when you're having those conversations with your doctor, they're too small to have somebody like Ted Cruz in there with you. What's happening in Texas is really, it's a tragedy. We've had 26,000 women who had to get birth to their rapish child since these laws went into place. We've had stories like Kate Cox, who was a mother of two, who had a much one and a third pregnancy. She had to go to the emergency room four times. Her doctor said she needed a medically necessary abortion, and she asked her, Stay, can I have it close to home? Because I have a one and a three-year-old at home. They said no. They didn't just say no. They said, If you do this, We're going to prosecute you, your doctor, your hospital. We have counties saying you can't drive to the county if you're going to use the roads to access an abortion. I mean, that doesn't sound like freedom to me. I know one thing about us as Texans is that we believe in freedom.

To me, the only way that we can restore this right to Texas women and families is at the federal level by codifying Roe v Wade. I'm not so than Roe v Wade.

Voter turnout is going to be critical for you to flip the seat. It's been estimated that 9.5 million registered voters didn't vote in the last election. How will you encourage Texans to get out and vote? And does it rhyme with As you mentioned, I was a civil rights lawyer, but I was a voting rights lawyer, specifically, before I ran for Congress.

To me, there's nothing more important than getting Texans and our fellow Americans engaged in our democracy. And in Texas, we make it way too difficult to vote. But I want folks to know there's a reason why they're trying to make it harder for you to vote. Why are they trying to take your voice away? Why are they trying so hard to make it difficult for you to be engaged? Don't let them do it. And to our young people, it's like one of these things where you wouldn't let your grandparents pick your playlist for the next six years. Don't let them pick your senator, right?

That's a great way of putting it.

I think it's also true that we have to talk about what's at stake. To me, in Texas, what's at stake is our fundamental freedoms. They've taken away a woman's right to choose the ability to make your own decisions about your body. They're banning books. They're kicking kids out of school because of their hairstyle. To For me, this is fundamentally about who we are as Texans and as Americans, and we have to restore freedom in Texas and across this country. I think folks are going to come out and stand up for that.

You serve on the Foreign Affairs Committee. We just recently found out that seven aid workers were killed in Gaza due to Israel airstrikes. Does that give you any hesitation to providing Israel with bombs?

Listen, this is a horrible tragedy. And these folks were there to feed folks who are suffering from famine, extreme conditions. They've done it around the world. And to me, it's an incredibly noble venture that they're engaged in to try and make sure that we can combat these conditions. And as I see it, October seventh was a tragedy, and the response, in many ways, has been incredibly difficult to deal with. Our role, I think, has to be to try and make sure that as we're negotiating for an extended ceasefire, that we have these hostages come home, and that we find a way forward in which there's two states existing peacefully next to each other. That has to be our end goal. This has been our policy for some time, but in some ways, I think it had drifted away. In a strange way, I think this has highlighted the need that we come back to this, that we make sure that we have a peaceful and independent Palestinian state next to a stable, democratic and Jewish our early state. These folks can coexist because we cannot continue down this road.

I so appreciate the work that you do, and I so appreciate you being on the show tonight. I wish you the best of luck. Representative Colin Allred. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after that.

Check out our new NBA show, Beyond the Arc, part of the CBS Sports Podcast Network, where you can find me, John Gonzales, NBA insider Bill Ryder, and Ashley Nicole Moss, Five days a week, talking all things NBA. Whether you're looking for insightful discussions, upbeat commentary, breaking news, interviews, or coverage of all the biggest stories in the NBA, our news show is the place to be Five Days a Week. Download and follow Beyond the Arc on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your favorite podcasts. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is. You're not going to get up there. Trading under the symbol DJT, which makes it hard to find on the Internet because every time you put dollar sign DJT in, you do get Dow Jones Transportation. So just remember that. It kept coming up as Dow Jones Transportation index for me today. And I was like, What the hell is that? 15,000? That's pretty good. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:00, 10:00 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes Every time on Bear Mount Plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Check out our new NBA show, Beyond the Arc, part of the CBS Sports Podcast Network, where you can find me, John Gonzales, NBA insider Bill Ryder, and Ashley Nicole Moss, five days a week talking all things NBA. Whether you're looking for insightful discussions, upbeat commentary, breaking news, interviews, or coverage of all the biggest stories in the NBA, our new show is the place to be five days a week. Download and follow The Arc on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your favorite podcasts. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is. You're welcome. Trading under the symbol DJT, which makes it hard to find on the internet, because every time you put dollar sign DJT in, you do get Dow Jones Transportation. So just remember that. It kept coming up as Dow Jones Transportation indexed for me today, and I was like, What the hell is That's pretty good. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:10 central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

Check out our new NBA show, Beyond the Arc, part of the CBS Sports podcast, John Gonzales, NBA insider Bill Ryder, and Ashley Nicole Moss, five days a week talking all things NBA. Whether you're looking for insightful discussions, upbeat commentary, breaking news, interviews, or coverage of all the biggest stories in the NBA, our new show is the place to be five days a week. Download and follow Beyond the Ark on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get your favorite podcasts.