I'm Ira Madison III.

And I'm Louis Fertile. This year, we're excited to bring you new episodes of Keep It, covering the Holy Trinity of Awards season, Emmys, Grammys, and the granddaddy of them all, the Oscars. It's like the Super Bowl for Hollywood, but with more sequins and fewer concussions.

And we are continually blessed by iconic guests like Michelle Yo, Tori Kelly, Andy Cohen, and Jinks Masun.

New episodes of Keep It drop every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast or subscribe to Keep It on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content. Content.

You're listening to Comedy Central. An Historic Night. An Historic Night. Are you a hologram?

Cnn has hologram technology, and I fear that you are, in fact, a hologram.

I may not be here, John, but I am scratching sniff.

I never should have brought that up. I do have one result that I want to bring up that I think is I went to school at the College of William and Mary, Go, tribe, and it's the Commonwealth of Virginia. It's a very good- Proud state. Proud state, conservative state.

Obviously, I've got the red card here.

The Commonwealth of Virginia. Virginia is for lovers of Barack Obama. He has won Virginia. Barack Obama. Virginia has not gone Democratic, I think, since-Since Joshua fought the Battle of Jericho. But it's a historic night, if you will. If Barack Obama does take this election, it will be a historic night. I think at this point in the program, it's probably a chance to take a breath, to take a moment, and to think about... Oftentimes, there are very few countries in the world that live up to their creed, that live up to the documents of their founding, that all men are created equal. That's true, John. And tonight, America has proven itself on a world stage as a show country, not a tell country. They have shown that we have led up to our creed. We are what we say we are, and There's not a lot of countries, Belgium, obviously, accepted, that can say that because they obviously have said, Look at us, we're depressed and eat cheese. But America, tonight, lives up to its promise. You're right, Johnny. Any thoughts?

He might actually win this thing. Take your time. If he does, I don't have any thoughts, but I do have a lot of feelings.

Okay.

Now, I'm no supporter of Obama, but if he does win, anyone would have to admit this is a night long overdue. We, as a nation, have reached that mountaintop because at long last, the United States have fulfilled the greatest part of freedom. We have a President who is Hawaiian. For decades, these proud people have been segregated from the rest of America, literally on an island. Hawaiian kids growing up in grass huts thought their only choice in life was selling poi on street corners or carving Tiki idles just to put Mahi Mahi on the table. Now they will know there are other options than trying to make it big as a ukulele player. They could be President of the United States. As as Queen Lillilukiani said so long ago. Mele, cali, qui, maka. I have a dream.

I actually think that means Merry Christmas, but the point is- You have changed, John. Yes. I would just like to say, if I may, and that's a beautiful sentiment that you're making at 11:00 at night, Eastern Standard Time, the President of the United States is Barack Obama. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe.

For me, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, if I may. Let me take that back. I'm sorry, I jumped the gun on that one. Cnn projects that Barack Obama is the next President of the United States of America. It is now official. He has passed the 270 electoral vote. California, Oregon, the electoral vote is now... It is now 297 for Barack Obama, 139 for John McCain.

John, McCain? Yeah. Mccain can still pull this thing out.

John, we're a little confused here. Who's supposed to cover now? Nothing, Jason. The election's over. It's over. What?

No, it can't be over.

Hey, guys, who wants in on a swing state exit pool bus tour? Guys, it's over. The campaign is over. No, we don't know how to do anything else, John. We have been on the trail for two years, John. I miss the birth of our baby. Oh, my God. We had a baby? Yes, you had a baby. Yes, a beautiful baby.

I want to say boy.

John, I came over from England for this election. I haven't been home in two years. God, I hope somebody fed cat. I hate to think of Miaugriff Thatcher going hungry.

Everybody just calm down, please. Who's crying? Rob Righle? I'm scared, John. I'm scared. No polls, no debates, no prolonged discussions about whether or not a topic is appropriate to discuss. I can't breathe without this election running over my skills. First of all, it'll be fine. Second of all, why aren't you wearing pants? Don't criticize my grinning process, Stuart. John, please don't let it end. Anything but that. Asif, you're in Pakistan.

I am too upset to be I'm fined by your logic right now, John.

Hey, I've been here for four months, and this has been nuts, right?

I'm fired.

We're We're all going to die. We're not going to die. Look, guys, I know you're all scared, but there was a world out there before this election, and there's still a world out there now. You're crazy. I'm not. You're not. He's He's not mad. He's crazy. Mad means crazy. Okay. I can prove it. Follow me to freedom. What? There's got to be a morning after.

Come on, that's it.

You can do it. Come with me.

This way.

Wow. It's beautiful.

Smell that fresh air. Isn't it nighttime? Not anymore. It's going to be okay, Billy. It's going to be okay. Who are you guys? So this is what the world looks like after President Bush.

Actually, Bush is still President for another two and a half months. Yeah.

That's our show. Congratulations to Barack Obama.

Obama.thank you very much.Thank.

You, sir. Thanks to all our correspondence. Thanks to you all at home. We've been following this election so closely, and we really appreciate all the support that you've given us, and we hope you've enjoyed this as well. And we'll see you guys tomorrow.

Good night. Good night.

I'm Aaron Madison III.

And I'm Louis Fertell. This year, we're excited to bring you new episodes of Keep It, covering the Holy Trinity of Awards season, Emmys, Grammys, and the granddaddy of them all, the Oscars. It's like the Super Bowl for Hollywood, but with more sequins and fewer concussions.

And we are continually blessed by iconic guests like Michelle Yeoh, Tori Kelly, Andy Cohen, and Jinks Masun.

New episodes of Keep It drop every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast or subscribe to keep it on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content.

Thank you very much. Good evening. They were told to do that. Welcome to a very special live edition of The Daily Show. It is now official. We can call it at 855 hours and 2 minutes of this election night. The state of Florida, in its 25 electoral votes with 100% of its precincts reporting, will go to George W. Bush. The crowd loves it. The final margin in the state of Florida, five votes to four votes. Now, what's interesting about that is it's an 11% victory margin for George W Bush, a lot greater than most pundits anticipated in what was considered a very tight race. Now, we're still here crunching some numbers. We'll be here all night. But it looks like one of the most surprising things about this Florida vote is that George W Bush got 100% of the African-American vote. Shocking. Very surprising because traditionally, as you know, that's a Democratic voting block. Now, with Florida, George Bush now has 271 electoral votes to Al Gore's 267, meaning that George Walker Bush will take office as this nation's 43rd President of the United States. Actually, if I can, interesting fun fact about the election.

Al Al Gore got 350,000 more votes nationally, so that's funny. Kind of funny. I bet Al Gore get a big kick out of that when he hears that. Kind of confusing. Now, as is customized Mr. Mary, immediately following an election, the losing candidate gives a concession speech, and Al Gore wasted no time this evening in giving his. He was clearly caught off guard by the loss, and my guess is in the rush, probably just jotted down some notes on the back of a napkin. Here's the speech.

Good evening.

Oh, my God. What a sore loser.

Now, the US Supreme Court has spoken. Let there be no doubt. While I strongly disagree with the court's decision, I accept it.

Gore added. Before you get too wild, that was precract. I'm not a strong man. Gore did express a conciliatory tone in his speech and talked of the spirit of unification.

Well, in that same spirit, I say to President-Elect Bush that what remains of partisan rancor must now be put aside.

I'm sorry. I was going to say something here, and I blacked out when he said President-Elect Bush. I'm sorry. There was a tunnel, and I saw my childhood dog, Mr.

Whiskers.

Then, of course, Gore thanked the people who helped him lose.

Let me say how grateful I am to all those who supported me and supported the cause for which we have fought. Tipper and I feel a deep gratitude.

Wow. Can I tell you what's weird? That is the same picture Gore used for his Have a Shit Christmas card. And finally, the money shot.

And tonight, for the sake of our unity as a people and the strength of our democracy, I offer my concession.

Did he concede? What do we do now? Did OJ or Monica do anything today? Yes, it's been an eventful 24 hours. We're all just trying to process it and get things going. Let's take a quick look back. Today's concession came after a long night, during which news channels focused on swing states, voter turnout. In the case of CNN, a massive TV clearance sale at Circuit City. Apparently, it's one of those famous buy 150 LCDs, get one free. Ohio emerged as the pivotal state. Too close to call due to thousands of uncounted provisional ballots. Cable news viewers were on the edge of their seats wondering, would this be another Florida? Fox News is now projecting that President Bush will win the state of Ohio. Oh, I guess it won't. Unfortunately, for the next 12 hours, no one else had the balls to second the call. So we waited. Meanwhile, Republicans were picking up seats right and right. They widened Claim their majorities by four in the Senate, at least two in the House of Representatives, and even somehow gained control of the Israeli Knesset. No one knows how. They don't know how they did it. They're very good at this.

One of the GOP Senate gains came at the expense of South Dakota's Tom Dashiell, who had served as the Democratic minority leader. No word yet on what Dashiell will do in private life. Though insiders agree, whatever it is, it's safe to assume he'll be ineffective. It's not pretty, folks. It's not a pretty day, but it's there. As for the big winner, he spoke at what appeared to be the W Hotel and appealed for unity.

To make this nation stronger and better, I will need your support, and I will work to earn it. I will do all I can do to deserve your trust.

I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to do all those things I did these first four years. I can change, baby. You know I can change. Give me one more. You know I love you. That's why I hit you. You know that. It's because I love you. Then it was time for the President to let the healing begin.

Reaching these goals will require the broad support of Americans. So today I want to speak to every person who voted for my opponent.

You can run, but you can't hide. I'm going to get you. Get to real life. Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:10 central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

I'm Aaron Madison III.

And I'm Louis Fertel. This year, we're excited to bring you new episodes of Keep It, covering the Holy Trinity of Awards season, Emmys, Grammys, and the granddaddy of them all, the Oscars. It's like the Super Bowl for Hollywood, but with more sequins and fewer concussions.

And we are continually blessed by iconic guests like Michelle Yo, Tori Kelly, Andy Cohen, and Jinks Masun.

New episodes of Keep It drop every Wednesday wherever you get your podcast or subscribe to Keep it on YouTube for access to full episodes and other exclusive content.